#im not happy w this but it literally took me all day and im sore n tired :(

[raspberrywiskey]

dont lets start ! my back hurts

[kazutora-kurokawa]

Heyy! I hope you have a nice day :)

So it's my first time requesting something and im a bit embarrassed about my kink. So my kink is spanking so maybe poly hanmy x fem reader x kisaki where the reader has also a spanking kink but is too shy to tell them so on a random day she ask them to talk but cant really find the words and just maybe grab a hairbrush and lays themself over kisakis lap and gives him the hairbrush but hanma knew what she wanned and make her say it like "oh honey what do ya want hmm~~" and than kisaki start spanking her until her ass is deep red. (aftercare ofc with a bath and putting cream on her sore ass) 🫶

HanKisa x Shy!Reader w/ Spanking Kink

♡ NSFW, fem reader, reader wears a skirt, Hanma is a tease, lowkey service dom!Kisaki, this happens in your living room if you even care lol, spanking with a hair brush (plastic or wood, it's not specified), husbands!HanKisa, pet names (bunny, darling), fluffy aftercare ♡

note: thanks for requesting anon 🩷 love me some HanKisa 😮‍💨

❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀

Some things were hard to put into words, so you decided to not say anything and let your actions speak for you. And that would've worked fine, if your husbands weren't absolute tools sometimes. As you laid across Kisaki's lap and handed him your hairbrush, he had a perplexed look on his face.

"What's the matter darling? Need something?"

All you could do was nod shyly, thinking that he'd pick up on what you wanted. But he was honestly twice as confused as before.

"Do you need me to brush your hair? Why do I need a brush?...Am I supposed to be brushing my hair? Shuji's hair?"

Per usual, Kisaki was overthinking things. He tended to do this a lot, but it was a good thing that Hanma was around to figure out your little game of charades. He let out a deep chuckle at the scene in front of him, running his fingers through his hair. He knew exactly what you wanted, but he wanted to hear you say it first.

"Aww bunny, what d'ya need from us, huh? Be a big girl and use your words."

You could feel your face heating up as you mumbled an incoherent sentence.

"Speak up darling, we can't hear you."

"I..I want you to spank me.."

Hanma's face lit up, his smirk growing wide as he looked at the brush in Kisaki's hand.

"Well Kisaki, go on. Give bunny what she wants ♡"

Kisaki pulled your skirt up and gripped the brush handle tighter before bringing the flat back of the brush down on your behind, the loud smacks of the brush hitting your skin echoing in the room. Your skin was a deep shade of red by the time he was done, your ass sore and aching.

"Aww, you did so good for us bunny, pretty ass is so red~"

Hanma's hand glided gently over the curve of your ass, making sure not to put too much pressure on it.

"You did real good darling," Kisaki sits his hand on your back, running his thumb over your spine. "Shuji, go run our pretty wife a bath."

Hanma nods and makes his way to the bathroom, running you a nice warm bath and pouring some bubble bath into the water along with some essential oils. He comes back into the living room and lifts you up from Kisaki's lap, carefully carrying you into the bathroom and sitting you in the tub. The two of them spent the rest of the night pampering you, smothering you in kisses and soft touches. As you laid between the both of them, they took turns massaging your ass until you fell asleep, feeling extra grateful for you and your little kink.

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Taglist

@arlerts-angel @i-literally-cant-with-this @trevengersprincess @giugiette @katkusuo @happy-trenchcoated-impala @drunkcheesecake @darkstarlight82 @reiners-milkbiddies @manji-hoe @southside-otaku @xxchthonicreaturexx

[emomanswhore]

Who do you ship your moots with 👀

i am so sorry this took me literally forever to answer (>︿<｡) thank you for being patient w me, here’s my lovelies n who i think they belong with !! 🤍💗 lmk what y’all think hehehe <333

➜✰ @touyyes i ship u with … !! @emomanswhore

★☆ baki you know who you belong to, so naturally you’re shipped with me 💋👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🧁🍓💍 there’s no room for arguments n if you thought you was getting shipped with someone else, you were sorely mistaken 😟💢 …. BUT i do occasionally share you with toji, carlos, godot, leon, dabi n getou

➜✰ @ghxstic i ship u with … !! GYUTARO

★☆ nymphie i feel like gyu NEEDS you in his life forever（˶′◡‵˶) !! i bet he literally follows you every step you take, n while he tries acting hard in public and extremely protective of you,,, i jus know hes the biggest clingy baby who starts grumbling when y’all aren’t attached at the hip every second ♡♡♡

➜✰ @hellavile i ship u with … !! EREN

★☆ EVEEERYYONNEEE knows that my gorgeous momo n eren are the cutest tumblr couple ever🧎🏽‍♀️🤍 actual couple goals, cuz the way y’all are obsessed with each other makes me extremely jealous. #moren !! ♡♡♡ highkey wanna ship u w akira too cuz i feel like y’all would wear matching all black fits n look so good together <333

➜✰ @maydayaisha i ship u with … !! SOUTH TERANO

★☆ honestly aisha you give me BIG poly vibes ( ⸝⸝⸝• •⸝⸝⸝) like i can see you being in a happy, loving, committed relationship w multiple people ! buuttt if you were to be with a single person, i choose SOUTH. he’s so big n mean, but i bet with you he’s so gentle n treats you like his princess anytime anywhere !! 👑 ♡♡♡ hes never afraid to kiss you n sit you in his lap in front of anyone

➜✰ @snake-titan i ship u with …!! JEAN

★☆ nia piiiiaaaaaaaaa 🫂🤍 im thinking you and jean are the most wholesome n cutest couple EVER <333 like anytime i see y’all, if it’s not you hugging his arm,, it’s him behind you curled around your body like a koala bear ! absolutely adorable ( ˶ˆ꒳ˆ˵ )

➜✰ @sailewhoremoon i ship u with …!! ICHIGO

★☆ honestly sosa, i was so tempted to pair you with either renji or urahara (𖦹﹏𖦹ᐡ꒦)— BUT im sticking with my gut n saying you and ichigo would be the sexiest couple 😩 i just know y’all be dressing and styling together, n you’d be that famous fashion influencer couple on tik tok & the gram ♡♡♡ !!

➜✰ @getosbunny i ship u with … !! GETOU

★☆ his name is sitting there in your user ٩ʕ•ﻌ•*ʔو so ofc pretty girl jade can only be with pretty boy sugu ♡♡♡ !! i think suguru absolutely adores you, like you’ll never have to lift a single finger cuz he lives for spoiling his baby <333

➜✰ @satorhime i ship u with … !! GOJO

★☆ lolly n gojo sittin inna tree k-i-s-s-i-n-g !!! (˶‾ ⁻̫ ‾˵) ♡♡ lolly polly i feel like even tho satoru is your bf, you constantly threaten his life cuz he stays playing games with you. like more than once, you’ve told him you’ll stab him in the leg w a fork cuz he’s just getting on your damn nerves the whole day 🚶🏽‍♀️🔪

➜✰ @noriken i ship u with … !! DRAKEN

★☆ OF COURSE NORI GOES WITH KEN ?!!! YALL DIDNT KNOW ?????? 🤨 ken for sure got an attitude every minute he goes without you being around him. you got him wrapped around your pretty lil fingers for sure— speaking of, ken gets suupperr happy when he pays for your nails n sees you got his initials on each nail (˶ᵔ𖥦ᵔ˶) <333

➜✰ @bluebellhairpin i ship u with … !! ALLMIGHT

★☆ whether it’s allmight or toshi, nemo i think you’d love him no matter what state he’s in and he’s completely infatuated with you ! (๑ ᴖ ᴈ ᴖ) ♡♡♡ you are his biggest weakness in the world, n i just know he keeps polaroids of you in his wallet

[pocketsedition]

aftg as cliche high school au

i got bored and was wondering how the foxes would work in american high school stereotypes and now i’m here so. yeah ignore it if it sucks <3

neil would of course be the popular-kid-who-doesn’t-wanna-be-popular

depending on who you are he could either be really nice to you or the biggest fucking asshole

he’s on the cross country team as well as soccer w kevin (duh)

he mainly hangs out w other ‘popular kids’ like matt allison seth dan and occasionally the vixens but like only because his group knows them

he also vibes with renee occasionally

andrew would be the quiet kid who’s actually an asshole especially to teachers and reads during class is that a stereotype? i think so

he’s also probably a gamer kid and he wears a bunch of rings yes youll see

i’ll get more about him later

aaron is that kid in biology who’s got an A+ throughout the whole class and it annoys the shit out of everyone because that shouldn’t be possible

kevin is a jock. yes he is

he plays soccer and does cross country (can you do those both at the same time) (i’m not a sports person)

(let’s say yes for the sake of this)

he’s also one of those history nerd kids 

you know who i’m talking about

nicky is a theater kid and he can actually sing really well

he just never stops

he knows he’s good at singing but it’s annoying walking out of math every day hearing a random song

seth and matt are both jocks and best friends (besides neil) but there are significant differences about them

yes they both were highlighters during middle school but that’s besides the point

seth is one of those kids who during gym is always like “dOnT bE a sOrE LoSeR” whenever your team loses but when his team loses he’s a pissbaby talking about how you cheated and just e w 

he also has pot brownies in the middle of class

he probably asks you for answers for the homework too

matt just vibes and probably accidentally hits the volleyball too hard but everyone loves him anyway

he absolutely sucks at most classes and will absolutely be like “ohHHH thank youu :D” when you help him like literally the puppy eyes give you no choice but to help him

allison is the regina. fuckin george of school

but like if you guys end up sitting together during chemistry and you aren’t a complete dickhead to her she’ll probably give you candy or just whatever she has on her

renee is quiet girl whos actually got good grades and popular girl (allison) highkey has a crush on her

dan is like middle ground like shes a sports girl

but shell willingly hang out with both quiet kids and popular kids

overall really nice

OKAYOKAY NOW

neil ended up getting set up with one of the vixens marisa

(i think that was that girl who neil took to the banquet and was like "why do i need your number" to ?)

anyways he keeps trying to be like "no." over and over but she simply Wont Have It

and then next thing you know hes running for homecoming king and hes this close to breaking his own arm to get out of it

so now. he has to find an outfit

meanwhile Quiet Goth™ andrew minyard and his twin brother aaron have their dad who has a fashion business (mom died in a catastrophic car crash)

and everyone knows this so theyre always asking for like. help and discounts and shit

he says no to all of them

except neil whos in need of an outfit and

very very pretty

like uhh who gave you the r i g h t to have that awkward smile ???

and those t h i g h s ?

so andrews like "eh whatever sure"

yes yes yes yes

and. they end up getting kind of close ?

it kind of astounds everyone

aaron hates it he has calculus with neil and neil has the audacity to be so good at math and just so happens to be the only person andrew helps ?

seth is confused because andrews the only person he cant beat in a good one v one of exy

but also andrew buys a bunch of pot brownies from him and ???? he doesnt know why bc he doesnt even look high most of the time

he gives them to security guards as bribery so he can keep his knives on him during school

and now neils just friends w him ????

and its going well

"so you don't wanna be popular" "...yeah" "then dont"

neil retorts with:

"so your telling me your dad runs a fashion business and you wear all black"

they go back and forth for like half an hour

andrew starts trying to teach neil how to play videogames

neil fucking sucks but he doesnt really care because andrews nice

and actually helping neil pick out his outfit is a fucking pain because he so pretty picky

andrew dies

anyways

neil starts opening up about how he doesnt actually like marisa and andrews like "tell her"

"i hav she just doesnt. listen >:("

andrew offers to but neil knows about the frog knives (yes the frog knives) and hes like hah nice try

they still have nights on the roof and cigarettes and secrets shared

so everything happens and it finally gets to marisas head that neil doesnt wanna go to homecoming (with her. that is)

its like 4 days before homecoming and he jsut snaps

"yaknow i get it—"

she ends up crying but neil doesnt care at this point shes finally off his back

lets face it he would not care that man has zero morals

and so its homecoming night and neils this close to simply Not Going

but matt and seth are on the football team and they have their game and he spent hours looking for a suit

so he goes to the game and he hangs out with the upperclassmen

deliberately avoids the team because theres ways vixens nearby and he cant deal with marisa rn

so he hangs out

he sees aaron in the stands and asks if andrews around aaron just shrugs

useless

and the games over matts team wins yay !!!

everyones happy

now its time for the dance

neils dreading it

he goes and tries to avoid the general public because Ew People

and he sees andrew hiding from the noise in a hallway with no people

theyre quiet until neil follows andrew out to the back of the school and to the middle of the empty soccer field

"you werent at the game"

andrew shrugs "i didnt care about the game"

"and you care about the dance?"

"aaron doesnt have his own car"

"mhm"

andrew rolls his eyes

its quiet and neils just looking at andrew

he kinda had a realization the other night with matts help

andrew simply stares back

"yes or no"

"yes"

kith :)

the school doesnt notice they’re a thing until andrew shows up to school one day wearing what may or may not be one of those wrist. sweatband thingies

im dumb i forgot what theyre called

and neil always has one of andrews rings on him and hes always fidgeting with it

anyways i might write a fic who knows not me❤️

[ajokeformur-ray]

I watched Joker tonight and typed out my thoughts as they occurred to me. Unedited; typos are guaranteed. I did this a few months ago and really enjoyed looking back at my thought process and I wanted to do it again so that I can look back and know that what I feel is real and true in my darkest times.

You're welcome to skip this; it's under a cut for ease of doing so. Warnings for occasional sexual comment lmao. There’s no self shipping in this, I don’t think.

word count: 2, 575.

I’M SOBBING and I’ve only just pressed play.

Heart squeeze Chest much ow

THERE HE IS

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Nooooo baby omg don’t pretend - let yourself hurt if it hurts. Don’t pretend. 

Carnival Carnival Carnivalllllllll 😍😍😍😍😍

I am a Simp for one clown and his name is Carnival

Someone help him, I????

That sign hit Arthur as hard as my love for him did ksksksk

MY EYES BE LEAKIN💔💔💔💔💔

bb nooooo

Oh honey let me kiss those bruises and replace the marks of violence with love, hm? You’re safe with me.

Breathe, my love. Don’t fight the laughter. Let it out, let yourself go. 

Screams into a pillow because????? much sad must kiss

“have you been keeping up with your journal?” LIKE HE HAS TIME

oHHHHH boi’s close to losing his shit

Do it, Artie. Give ‘em hell.

“I think I did” YOU TELL HER!!💖💖💖

I want to be his cigarette. Where’s Satan??? I got a new deal for my blackened soul which he took at half price😂😂😂😂

I’d have my hand between the door and his head so fuckin fast I swear

“I just don’t wanna feel so bad anymore” yep SAME

ohhhh peekaboo🥺🥺🥺

this makes me giggle ksksksk i watch this scene when i feel sad bc it always makes me happy for the time it’s on

he’s so good with kids; he doesn’t have to try and think about what’s funny, he just does it, he’s himself and it works

FUCK OFF LADY CAN’T YOU SEE HE’S STRUGGLING????

give

him

back

his

card

casually wrinkling my nose against tears lmao

ohhh the way he looks up at those stairs from the bottom

i can feel his exhaustion

me too, my love

step step step step

god i wanna get him the fuck outta gotham

and into my arms and a soft, warm blanket

“eat. you need to eat” LITERALLY WHAT I TELL MYSELF EVERY DAY IN HIS VOICE BC OTHERWISE I JUST WOULDNT EAT???? I’m losing so much weight asdfghjk its not enough tho

SUPAH RATS

Did Arthur come up w that joke or was it actually a Murray joke????

HIS VOICE IS SO SOFT IM CRY??🥺🥺🥺🥺

“I WAS PUT HERE TO SPREAD JOY AND LAUGHTER”

YOU DO BABY, YOU DO!!!! EVERY FUCKING DAY!!!!

go deepthroat a cactus randall - youre already a bit of a prick so🙃🙃🙃

“THE GUYS THINNK YOU’RE A FREAK BUT I LIKE YOU”

HOYT. YOU CAN GO SIT ON A CACTUS TOO

FUCK OFF

😡😡😡😡

“WHY WOULD ANYONE STEAL A SIGN”//”WHY DOES ANYONE DO ANYTIHNG?” HOYT YOU’RE SO FUCKING ILLOGICAL HERE IM????? ERIKA DOES NOT (ALSO WILL NOT LMAO IM A STUBBORN BIITCH) COMPUTE

Can arthur fuck me like he pounds the trash/????🥵🥵👀

those dark curls.... that crooked tooth... must kiss.🥺🥺🥺

pennys casual cruelty makes me so fucking angry

foreshadowingggggg ~  *JAZZ HANDS*

ugh the way he dances with that gun im👀🥵🥵🥵

he enjoys the power of it and his breathing gets deeper asdfghjk

clumsy baby omggggg i just COOED 🥺🥺🥺🥺

okay maybe im stupid but i genuinely dont understand this “senior who needs to graduate” skit i’m??? how is being an intro to western civ student funny im???? someone explain???

but also dont bc fuck that guy lmao arthur’s hilarious

true millenial humour (and brit humour lmao we’re dark asf)

THE WAY ARTIE TWIRLS HIS FINGERS AROUND HIS HAIR AND DANCES IN HIS SEAT IM???🥺🥺🥺

wanna curl up on his lap at night when hes writing and go to sleep with a 

blanket around our bodies🥺🥺🥺🥺

when arthur wears a shirt at home you KNOW it’s a daydream

THAT CROOKED TOOTH IM WANT KISS.

WAIT IS IT CALLED STAND UP COMEDY BC YOU STAND UP... AND ITS COMEDY???

23 FUCKING YEARS, PEOPLE... TO REALISE THAT🙄

WHEN CARNIVAL CAME ON SCREEN I NTHE HOSPITAL I MADE A PORNOGRAPHIC NOISE LMAO I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

IF YOURE HAPPY AND YOU KNOW IT, SHOOT MURRAY

WOOPS WRONG LYRICS

😂

“doctor of laughter”🥺🥺🥺🥺

doctor i have a case of the Big Sad can you... do an exam? 😉😏

NO BB DONT BEAT YOUR HEAD UP THERES PRECIOUS CARGO IN THERE

in what world does chucking cold greasy chips in a girls hair being “nice”???

lmao fuck these guys

ohhh honey breathe. dont fight it, my love, just breathe.

my heart’s breaking for you, you sweet thing🥺🥺🥺

i love you so so so so so so so much ugh you’re an actual fucking angel

just breathe darling

i need to get you a cup of tea with honey in it, your throat must be so sore

ohhhh baby im so sorry

i’d take every single punch if i could

i’d die for you

i wish i could protect you

i wish i could look after you

and take all those hits

and kill those guys for you

im so sorry

sobbingggg

YES GOOD MAN THANK YOUUU

KILL THOSE ASSHOLES LMAO DESERVED IT

yeah i have a grey morality... im similar to deadpool in that way tbh

carnival comin’ to kill your insecurities

8 bullets in a 6 chamber???? mm-hm

DONT FORGET YOUR BAG THATS EVIDENCE

AND THE WIG

RUN BABY RUNNNNNNN

GO GO GO GOOOOOOOOOOOO

RUN LIKE THE WIND BULLSEYE

THE SOUND OF HIS FEET SLAPPING THE PAVEMENT IM👀

OOOOOH JOKER’S WAKIN’ UUUUUUP

fuck he’s so hypnotic

the way he runs his hand down his lower stomach asdfghj🥵

must kiss the inner tendons on his wrists and lick the blood off his face 

must kiss

he moves like water

fuck hes so fluid

bathroom scene = the scene in which my heart and vagina clench at the same time

im WANT

T POSEEEEEEEE

“i still owe you for that, dont i?”

PUNCH OUT IS MY FAVOURITE THING E  V  E  R

D O N T S M I LE

UGH I FUCKING HATE being told to smile if i don’t fucking want to so BIG mood

PLEASE SHUSH ME THE WAY YOU JUST SHUSHED PENNY IM???

but also dont lmao bc i’ll think you’re mad at me and i’ll hide in the bedroom for the rest of the day lmao i’m sensitive✨✨✨

i wanna sit on his lap and still his bouncing knees

“thats not funny”

fuck off penny yes it is

I JUST CHOKED ON MY COFFEE IM???

“but i do” god the  P O W E R

ugh that fucking sexist piece of shit comedian can choke “women look at sex like buying a car” 🤢🤮🤢🤢🤮

chauvinistic pigs can die thanks

his lil trip upstage im cry🥺🥺🥺

ohhh baby. just breathe, darling. it’s okay to be scared. dont fight it. just breathe. 

he and i both cover our mouths when we laugh/smile in the exact same way and it makes me feel closer to him

how can they think hes laughing at himself when hes literally gagging????

people only see what they wanna

the Penny imitation is👌👌👌

s m i l e

i remember when i came home from seeing this for the first time, i got home and dropped to my knees to cry in the bathroom. it was such an emotional release and so much love and i played smile to try to make myself smile but i only made myself cry harder lmaooooo ~ 

smile and thats life are my go-to songs if i gotta cheer tf up

danger sign = neither works

he looks so soft after his “date”🥺🥺🥺

“thats life” yeah but murray you dont even leave the studio so how do you know????

ngl arthur’s anger scares me.

anyone so much as raise their voice at me and i’ll cry really bad and i will shut myself away for the rest of the day and quiet anger terrifies me so his banging abt in the kitchen would freak me tf out😲

angry bb😭

he controls his anger so fast though omgggg ~ 

that soft please sends me

idk where it sends me lmao

down below probably

BARE FACED CARNIVAL OMG THIS SCENE IS SO CUTE

I LOVE THE MATCHING COLOURS ON ARTHUR AND BRUCE TOO ???

okay but the implication that arthur always carries a clown nose on him is🥺🥺🥺

hes such a good clown im?????

lmao im enjoying the show more than bruce is skskskk

arthur’s lil chuckle makes me🥺

his HUMMING im??? soft?????

his brows are so strong and dark omggg ~ he’s so beautiful

OKAY i’ll be honest i’ve seen this alfred/bruce scene and the thomas bathroom scene later on and the penny flashback scene a 100 times and i still dont fucking understand what did or didnt happen regarding arthur’s parentage im????

 ive seen interpretations to say he is thomas’ son and some to say he isnt and i still cant decide so? im stupid i guess 🙃

“a clown thing?” the  s a s s

“it’s exit only” yeah so’s my ass🙃

if i was there in the hospital room i woulda turned that tv off as soon as i realised what clip was gonna play

murray’s cruelty is d i s g u s t i n g

lmao hes an asshole

arthurs lil clap from joyyyyy ~ 🥺🥺🥺

did i say murray???

i meant  m u r r a t

🙃🙃🙃

sneaky baby

wayne hall either has super bad security or arthurs v quick on his feet

🤔🤔🤔🤔

he looks so good in red omggg ~ 

f o r e s h a d o w i n g

arthurs smile when hes watching chaplin is how he smiles when we all gush to each other abt him and ourselves!!!

hes so cuuuuuute🥺🥺🥺🥺😭😭😍😍😍🥰🥰🥰

“told me what” 

ohhhh honey🥺🥺 im so sorry. “crazy” is a trigger word for arthur; it made him start laughing in the bathroom with thomas

“touch my son again ill fucking kill you” yeah?? touch my arthur again and i’ll fucking kill you🙃🙃🙃🙃

^^^ that ones a joke do not come at me

the clerk in arkham was nice to arthur - he, gary and sophie are the good gothamites.

none of it was enough to stop his descent into joker, though, and i’d even say it was too late right at the beginning of the film, too... 

his sock puppet thingy “they cut all those” is such a Joker thing to doooo ~ 

the way arthur’s laughing in the hall at arkham turns into sobbing is gut-wrenching omg the poor thing😭

i wanna hug him and protect him and help him to process this in a healthy way

sweetheart, if i could take all of your pain and put it onto me... i so would. i’d do it in a heartbeat.

i wanna get you into a hot shower, make you some food and sit and listen to you. we can either sit in silence or you can talk to me, my love, and you will be heard and understood and loved.

“i had a bad day”

IT’S OKAY I DIDNT NEED MY HEART ANYWAY OMG YOU POOR SWEET INNOCENT THING IM LOVE YOU🥺💔

THAT ENTIRE LATE NIGHT SCENE LAUGH/SOBBING GOT ME -

💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

i just wanna hold you and protect you and help you and love you

I’m so fucking sorry, darling. i wish i could take it all away from you

“i havent been happy one minute of my entire fucking life”

NO ONE SHOULD LOOK THAT ANGELIC AFTER COMMITING MATRICIDE IM????

get

that

fucking

gun

away

from

your

face

boi dont test me ill fucking go feral or - no, tell you what, i’ll point the gun at me and see how you like it

im looking respectfully at the green speckled undies scene....👀👀👀

“coming” 😏😏😏

“my mum died im celebrating” and “i stopped taking my medication” and you STILL stayed in the apartment with Arthur????? dudes those are 🚨🚨🚨 signs

woe betide anyone who underestimates arthur fleck lmaoooo

randalls death scene makes me laugh every time omg i feel so vindictive

get WRECKED

i wanna lick the blood off his face. i really want to

ngl i think i have a blood kink... 

“dont look just go” ME WITH MY ACNE WHEN I SEE IT IN THE MIRROR 😂😂😂😂

JOKERJOKERJOKERJOKER 

ASDFGHJKL

J

O

K

E

R

ERIKA.EXE HAS STOPPED WORKING

JOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERRRRRR

😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 MY BABY MY MAN OMG THERE HE IS IM CRY???????😭🥺😭🥺😭🥺

my mind is literally blank rn im just staring and crying and smiling so hard my face hurts????? im love him so so so so much

sweet thing’s so used to pain he gets HIT BY A CAR AND KEEPS GOING????

I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU

hghhhhhhhhhhhhhh

euirrrrrrgkjbgkfbirsghigrbugr

*incoherent keyboardsmash to portray utter love*

ohhh baby no dont cry. oh honey😭 i wanna sit on your lap and kiss your tears away

“i love dr sally”

you have a WIFE at home

“DO YOU REMEMBER?” THAT WAS YOUR CUE TO APOLOGISE LMAO GET FUCKED MURRAT

he’s so CUTE

omgggg ~ 

my hearts gonna give out its SQUEEZING SO HARD IT HURTS

YOU MOCK THEM, BABY!!! THEY GOT IT COMING

“i wanna get it right” hes so passionate

my comments have deceased in number bc im just too starstruck and in love to even think clearly lmao

jokers all i know rn and this is the most peaceful ive felt in WEEKS

im sobbing

ugh fuck this hurts so BAD

youre speaking the truth, darling. im so so proud of you and i love you so much

“THEY COULDNT CARRY A TUNE TO SAVE THEIR LIVES” LMAO INSIDE JOKESSS

literally sobbing right now ugh what the fuck youre in so much pain and in the middle of a breakdown and no one saw you

ugh baby im so sorry, you deserve so much better

you tried so hard and you were gonna fall no matter what

IN THE WHITE ROOM

“hi” baby they cant hear you but im COOING 🥺🥺🥺🥺

you’re so fucking cute

say the word and ill burn gotham to the fucking ground for you

i wanna sit atop that car and cradle your head in my lap and wipe the blood off your face and help you stand up and be there for you and and and😭😭😭😭😭😭 i love you so so so much. 

i’d be so much worse off without you in my life. you brought a splash of colour which has never dimmed or faded. it never will. 

b l o o d    s m i l e

=

im wearing my inside on the outside now and it still hurts

angel💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

i see you and your pain. i love you.

i see you, angel. 

his genuine laughter is🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

that cute lil “ksksks” he does im🥺🥺🥺

i always laugh with him omg the two of us are laughing together ugh its the closest i will ever get to sharing in his joy

 t h a t ‘s    l i f e

i love the hallway daaaaaaaaaaaaaance ~ 

them hips dont lie😉😉😉

i love you i love you i love you i love you omg the sun’s like a halo ugh i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you im singing along to thats life while i type out how much i love you at 220am lmaooooo ~ 

i   l o v e    y o u

[theforce]

presumptive horrible rotten case of corona: symptoms

presumptive bc i couldnt get a god damn test i live in new york and while there are testing sites all over the state and our state govt is doing what they can now, i don’t want to be the person taking away a test from someone else especially now that i am mostly better, most of this went down at the beginning of the month and i’m still dealing with the effects of it. 

there was a lot of confusion here even as recent as 2 weeks and we are the state that’s testing more than the rest of the entire country so here is my account of what went down w me, and honestly, what might go down with you or someone you know as soon as this reaches your state

1) i threw up all night long, thought it was a stomach virus, had a lot of stomach issues for like 24 hours, very strange i haven’t had a stomach virus in YEARS since i was a literal child, anyways right before i started puking up my life i developed this weird cough, it felt like it was from my throat, like i was trying to clear it? but it was often and annoying 

2) after my 24 hours of hell i felt feverish and exhausted but i chalked it up to being on the floor of the bathroom all night, exerting my esophagus and body to throw up the devil himself, i tried to sleep it off, i woke up a few hours later in a fog, i was shivering but i was also burning up, i couldn’t tell left from right, up from down, my fever was 100.3, at this point i had my mom call my doctor and make an appointment, she made it for me w the receptionist, everything was fine until 20 minutes later i got a call back from my actual doctor not the receptionist who was like, oh no not you’re not coming here with those symptoms baby and i was like ?? ok cool thanks, she said to keep watching my symptoms, slam some tylenol and if i felt shortness of breath to call or text her personal cell phone and she would get me set up at the nearest hospital i said ok sounds fucked up i mean i didn’t say that bc i was too fucked up to even speak, she also gave my mom instructions to keep me in my room, to not go near me, to give me a designated bathroom, to have food and water delivered to my door, my mom was like u dont gotta tell me twice (she has lupus) during this time my cough become dry and horrible, i could feel my lungs rattle, i would cough so hard and for so long i’d wake from my feverish coma to kneel over my bed and just let loose on the world, it felt like i was drowning, i couldn’t get enough air everything hurt, everything was sore 

3) things continued on like this for 5 straight days, i was literally in and out of consciousness, my fever got up to 102 and my mom said that if it raised at all from there we were going to the fuckin hospital and i was like listen la rona i know u wanna take me out but i havent even ever eaten a krispy kreme donut, please let me survive this i can’t leave this way, in that moment i literally had a fever dream of god herself, i said take this from me and i’ll stop being such a cunt in life. i started slamming hot toddy’s, i’d drink as much water as possible in between the time i wasnt literally trying to expel my lungs by way of my mouth

4) woke up from that whole ordeal drenched in SWEAT from my feet to my head i was soaked, it was gross, at that point i still had a sense of smell so let me tell you my last and final symptom should have kicked in a bit earlier but i checked my temp and it was normal! i didn’t feel like my head was going to explode! but i had new things going on i had a new stuffy/runny nose, my cough was producing some liquid which i proceeded to throw up into a mcdonalds cup i took a shower, i brushed my teeth, i felt like a brand new woman, i had cold like symptoms but i can live with cold like symptoms, i had an appetite for the first time in a week, felt like i could eat my whole family out of house and home given the opportunity, i’d lost 20 pounds in less than 2 weeks and ya girl was honestly, looking good but THAT’S A BAD WAY OF THINKING disregard please thank you, at this point i went into my doctor with a full on mask, gloves, hair pulled back, she gave me every test you can think of, most importantly a flu test which is all she could do since getting a test was impossible at this pint, which of course came back negative 

5) things continued like this for weeks, up until right now actually, exhaustion was gone, fever gone, cough still here and there but not like how it was, i’ve put on makeup in my room, i’ve watched every season of law and order svu, i’ve gone on drives in my car just to drive, i’ve tried to keep myself as busy as possible, 3 days ago the strangest, most inexplicable and hopefully last symptom arrived, a complete loss of smell and bc of that taste, i’ve tried smelling candles, essential oils, laundry detergent, canned meat, my brother lit a match with my back turned and asked me what the smell was, i ate extra hot cheetos, raw onions, shot of vinegar, there’s nothing there, i just hope it comes back 

during this time i haven’t been even close to my mother, who has lupus or my sister, who has asthma, i stayed in my room, i’m still in my room actually 14 full days out from the last time i left the house, one month since this whole thing started, i eat in my room, i use a different bathroom than my whole family, everyone talks to me from my door frame besides my little brother who also was sick but recovered super fast, he bleaches the bathroom after i use it, he puts all my food on single use plates, he brings me jugs of water and reminds me of what it’s like to at least talk to another person. 

on a more serious note, i haven’t touched another person in 20 days nobody has even been within 6 feet of me besides my doctor who was administering the only tests she could administer, fully decked out in a hazmat suit, she was scared for me, i could tell, she was trying to put on a brave face and downplay the severity of my symptoms but thank god for her, she’s checked up on me, she’s tried everything, she’s put in calls, she’s made herself as available as possible even though she’s probably going through the same thing with countless other patients, i worry for her, i’ve worried for my family, i’ve stressed beyond the point of no return which has for sure slowed my recovery and i was one of the lucky ones! all of this and my case was considered mild because i never really had trouble breathing beyond being choked by my own coughing. 

people have been there for me during all of this, in ways that are further reaching than touch, i have been very vocal about not liking when people touch me but i do look forward to the day i can hug my mom, where i can tell my friend to take a sip of my drink to see if she likes it, to have someone pat me on the shoulder and tell me to keep my head up or whatever 

hopefully im on the other side of this, my more at risk family members are about to be 14 days from the last time any of them were near me or my brother, they’re at the end of a long tunnel and i’m just so happy that maybe soon we’ll all see the light 

take care of yourselves

[crackimagines]

Sayaka and S/O imagine

in a nutshell: its late, im bored out my ass and i need to write something tooth-rottingly sweet with one of the DR Gals because they don’t get enough love.

Imagine and my thoughts under the cut, + thanks if ya actually do read it considering I don’t do much serious writing on this blog.

Ya know, with a lot of the shitposting I do, I don’t get a lot of chances to do some wholesome moments with Danganronpa characters without having to go to angst-ville. 

And plus the only other times where it HAS been seen was during my P3 writing stuff. So I decided, fuck it, let’s just make one purely wholesome.

And why not with a DR Gal too?

(if you can’t tell I have a bit of a soft spot for Sayaka)

Word of warning it’s also kinda long as SHIT

Sayaka walked back and forth in the music room impatiently, her mind racing with thoughts.

She had invited her S/O to the room, saying it was a surprise for their birthday. Sayaka spent literal weeks in preparation for this day with a present she thought would reach out to her S/O’s heart.

Earlier that day during lunch...

(Kaede) “Sayaka, how many times do we have to say it? S/O will love the song you wrote no matter what!”

(Ibuki) “Kaede’s right! We practiced with you, and we DEFINITELY would’ve said something if it was shit!”

(Kaede) “N-Not the words I would’ve used but not too far off.”

(Sayaka) “Thanks again you guys, I know I know...It’s just that I really wanna surprise him you know! I made sure to ask Makoto if he could distract S/O while you two get prepped.”

(Kaede) “With Shuichi, Mahiru and Hiyoko’s help, I’m sure that we would’ve been fine!”

(Ibuki) “And besides, the gift itself is amazing! A song written by not ONLY Sayaka Maizono and her gang, but with Risette AND a Japanese speaking Puerto-Rican named Paz! That’s some serious creativity points right there!”

(Kaede) “Yeah, and you look pretty cute in the outfit you’ll be wearing!”

(Sayaka) “Hm...I just hope nothing goes wrong. It seems like when I plan these kinda things, it doesn’t go right.”

(Ibuki) “Just breathe girl! If Ibuki says you’ll be fine, you’ll be fine!”

(Kaede) “We got your back! Now come on, eat up! Your food’s gonna get cold!”

Present...

Sayaka took a deep breath, collecting her thoughts and beginning to calm down.

(Sayaka) “Come on Maizono! You got this! Rise-chan helped you out, Kaede and Ibuki helped you out, you got this! I’m not a little caterpillar, I’m a butterfly now-”

(Makoto’s Voice) “S-Sayaka?”

(Sayaka) “ACK!”

She spun around seeing Makoto and S/O standing in front of the door, slightly wide eyed but awkwardly smiling.

(Makoto) “Were we-snrk-interrupting something?”

(Sayaka) “Bah, shush!”

(S/O) “S-Sayaka? What is all this?”

She smiled widely before snapping her fingers and the curtains behind her unfolding, Kaede, Ibuki, Hiyoko, Shuichi and Mahiru holding instruments.

“Just a little birthday gift.”

I love you todoite kono omoi I love you; I hope these thoughts reach you

kitto itsuka wa kanau yo ne I'm sure one day it'll come true

konna kimochi setsuna sugiru no Such feelings are too painful

hajimari nante wakaranai no I don't understand things such as beginnings namae mo heibon de doko ni demo isou It seems like you could have an ordinary name and be anywhere demo nanmannin ite mo watashi But no matter how many people there are kitto kimi wo mitsukeru yo I'm sure to find you sunao na kimochi tojikome  I don't like the me who locked up these quiet feelings kara ni komotta jibun ga iya de  And confined herself in a shell ki no nai furi suru sono tabi ni Each time that I halfheartedly hold myself back tada itami ga fueteku The pain merely grows kimi wa nani wo negau no? What do you wish for? soba ni ite hoshii I want to be close to you zutto zutto sore dake na no ni Forever, forever that's all I want and yet…

(doki doki…) (Thump thump…)

koi no yokushiryoku Love deterrence hora GAME no hajimari Look! It's the beginning of the game massugu na omoi ga hora Look at these straightforward thoughts ima afure hashiridasu Now I'm overflowing and I start to run

hitori nante mou I don't want to be alone any longer! iya da yo Look at me! mite yo Everything leads to you watashi no koto zenbu kimi he to tsunagaru no donna kako mo mirai mo zutto No matter the past or the future, forever zutto…. And ever…. kono deai ga sekai wo kaeru This encounter will change the world houkago CLASS ni ima wa futari After school in the classroom kamisama ga kureta CHANCE yo Now just the two of us, This is a chance given by God jikan wa tada sugite yuku Time merely passes by kitto kono mama I'm sure that if this goes on futari wa sudoori We'll pass each other by senaka awase de With our backs facing each other hanarete yuku…. We move apart I love you todoite kono omoi I love you; I hope these thoughts reach you kitto itsuka wa kanau yo ne I'm sure one day it'll come true konna kimochi setsuna sugiru no Such feelings are too painful onegai tomete… Please stop… koi no yokushiryoku Love deterrence Once Sayaka was done, she slowly looked up to meet her S/O’s face and see if he was satisfied with her performance.

...Only to realize Classes 78, 77-B and Kaede’s class were all present and had come into the room without her noticing.

Everyone began clapping, and it only intensified when S/O stood up and they clapped even harder.

Sayaka stood in awe, her face flushing red while the the rest of the band bowed.

(Sayaka) “U-Um...Thank you all!”

(Ibuki) “You didn’t invite these guys did you? I thought we were only performing for S/O!”

(Kaede) “D-Don’t look at me!”

(Mahiru) “Oh, I did. I thought if we were doing a song our classes should see! After all we’re all friends!”

(Shuichi) “Er...as much as a nice thought that is, that song was specifically written for S/O only...”

(Mahiru) “Oh. O-OH. Did I just...?”

(Hiyoko) “Psh, way to screw the pooch on that one...”

Once the crowds began to thin out, S/O went up to a still blushing Sayaka.

(S/O) “Sayaka, that was a beautiful song! I’m really blessed to have someone like you write a song that passionate for me!”

She snapped out of it, and smiled back at S/O, shaking her head.

(Sayaka) “It wasn’t just me ya know. Rise, Paz and everyone in the back here made it possible! I...”

She looked down, too embarrassed to meet their eyes.

(Sayaka) “I just wanted to give you something that you might have a nice memory with...”

(Ibuki & Kaede) “Baaaawwww!”

(Hiyoko) “Bah, you two are a bunch of fuckin broads! You two talk that mushy shit out...oh and happy birthday. Come on, Mahiru.”

Mahiru nodded and bowed before leaving with Hiyoko.

(S/O) “Hey, let’s go out to eat tonight! It’s the least I can do for you after that!”

Sayaka nodded happily and went out with S/O.

(Ibuki) “W-Wait, do we have to clean up the mess?”

(Shuichi) “I say we should just give them the freebie here. It IS a special day for them after all...”

(Kaede) “Shuichi, how come you don’t do anything like that for me?”

(Shuichi) “Wha-YOU’RE THE ULTIMATE PIANIST, WHAT DO YOU THINK I COULD DO?!”

(Ibuki)[Muttering] “Investigate why your ass is about to be put in the doghouse...”

[starrysence]

Tommy Boy/Romeo? they need more content-spottie ❤️

they definitely need more content!! i will lead a tOMMY BOY/ROMEO REVOLUTION IF I MUST

warnings: talks about depression, also tommy has shitty parents

×××

●aight yall. theyre both pan.

▪romeo makes constant pan puns and tommy is So Done▪"guess you could say we’re…. PANicking about that test in calculus today"▪"youve been spending too much time with race"▪"youre just jealous because i couldve been spending that time with you"▪"you motherfucker,,,,“●romeo wants to cuddle w/ tommy basically any chance he gets because tommy spends a good chunk of every day busy with either school work, his job, or dance▪literally always down for cuddles????▪sometimes tommy is just like "hey wanna watch a movie”▪and ro will LEAP onto the couch so fast it scares tommy and he’ll bury himself in tommy’s arms▪"HELL yes"▪tommy’s highly amused▪through laughter: “ok cool”●tommy does NOT get nearly enough sleep every night and it rlly worries romeo▪they have some ap classes together bc romeo isnt in all ap classes like tommy is▪the latest he’ll have to stay up w/ tommy on a weekend is like?? 1am maybe▪but he gets up like 3 hours later for a drink of water and tommy STILL isnt in bed and he is Worried ▪he’ll find tommy passed out at the table they were working and just sighs▪as much as he’d like to get tommy into bed he tried dragging the boy into the room but he was absolutely exhausted by the time he did▪so he just grabs a blanket and drapes it around tommy and prepares for neck cramp complaints in the morning●tommy gets SUPER dramatic abt his soreness after extended dance classes or rehearsals for shows▪he will absolutely just collapse on the couch the moment he gets to it and start moaning▪"romeoooo im in paaaaaaain"▪after the first couple times romeo just kinda gets used to it and laughs at his drama queen of a bf but helps him ease the soreness●romeo really takes care of tommy the days his depression acts up▪literally cancels everything and stays w/ tommy the whole day▪he doesnt want to nag at tommy too much bc he understands that that can get annoying/overwhelming/etc

▪but time to time he’ll ask tommy if he needs anything or if theres anything he can do to help▪kind of different but ro always always reminds tommy to take his antidepressants ▪tommy will sometimes just spill to romeo about how much it means to him that he’s doing that▪sometimes he starts rambling which leads to apologising which leads to more rambling so romeo will place his hands on tommy’s arms and kiss him rlly soft and quick ▪"its okay, i love you"●tommy’s parents never really supported his love for dance???? at all?▪they wanted him to do something ‘more practical’▪like. he couldnt take dance classes outside of school at all unless he paid for it▪so he kinda just like took up jobs and worked them to pay for lessons and until he saved enough money on the side for a plane ticket and arranged to live w/ an aunt in nyc▪when hes starting to build up a career and a name for himself he gets a call from his parents congratulatjng him on his success▪gets so bitter????? literally tells them off abt the whole thing and then doesnt even wait for a response before he hangs up▪romeo is helping him calm down afterwards and assuring him that he did the right thing●romeo is amazing at photography ▪also at maintaining aesthetics????▪his isntagram account always has such a nice theme tommy loves it▪theres this whole month where ro literally just posts pictures of him and tommy▪mainly to annoy his friends who told him “honestly can you two get any more gross”▪[he took it as a challenge]●so these two dont get a lot of free days to just spend time together, which they absolutely hate▪thank god for ny winters▪sometimes its too snowy so neither of them have to go to class or to work▪they spend the entire day just lounging around with each other ▪so many cuddles. so many kisses. so. many. ●yall know romeo’s thing is more playful flirting so sometimes tommy will crack a dirty joke and this boy’s face will go RED

▪tommy thinks its hilarious and the cutest thing hes ever seen▪"ro,, baby are you ok"▪"n O"▪he cant stop laughing. and romeo only smiles bc he loves hearing tommy’s laugh so much●gotta end this on a soft note cuz yall know how it be;;;;; they 10000% send each other wholesome memes and/or super long and sappy lovey dovey texts▪tommy is Bad With Words so usually he’ll send ro the memes▪sometimes romeo will send tommy 4am texts abt how lucky and in love he is and tommy will see them either a.) as soon as theyre sent bc hes working on stuff or b.) first thing in the morning bc he always checks for texts from romeo after waking up▪they always make him smile! so much!!▪side note ro loves tommy’s smile▪he thinks its the cutest thing ever▪every time tommy smiles ro says “the sun is quaking” and tommy snorts w/ laughter. every time. ▪theyre Soft as Heck yall

×××

aaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAA i love them. so much. sndjldvfs i hope u liked these hcs. i would Die for these boys (tbh i’d die for all the newsies what else is new)

-sanj 💕

tag list:

@but-let-us-seize-the-day

@one-candy-cane-please​

@suddenly-im-respecsable​

@intoomanyfandomstopickaname​

@be-more-chill-evan-hansen​

@aw-jus-let-em-try

@bencookisagod​

@well-the-kids-do-too​

@auspicioustarantula​

@spot-conlon-king-of-brooklyn​

@have-we-got-news-for-you​

@not-a-scab​

@newsiesgarbage​

@pineappapizza

@andthewoildwillknow​

@concrete–donuts​

@stopthe-presses​

@thomasbeingthomas

@i-love-loki-and-sherlock

@maxvanna

[if you want to be added to my tag list, please shoot me an ask or a message letting me know! i’d be happy to add you.]

[dovechim]

After a hectic week I can finally sit down and dedicate the next hour or so to continue my story because I really want to get to the part which I'd like to hear your opinion - and everyone else's - about!! ☆ Long Story Anon

So we kept messaging for the following days, both busy with our respective classes; but before I knew it and I can't say I was surprised, he invited me to do something again less than a week later. We're from a considerably small city, there isn't much to do around here, so we had a hard time coming up with an idea. Well, he suggested to pick me up and we'd go back to his house to eat something, to which I agreed. I was with my friend and we were both jumping around from excitement ☆ 1

Needless to say my friends all loved him; they were happy that after such a long time and with such bad luck in love I finally found what seemed to be the last guy on earth who was worth more than two seconds of my life. I knew going to his house implied something more serious than making out could happen, but honestly I didn't mind if it did. In context, he lived with his little brother and parents; where we're from it's common at our age to still live at home since we've not graduated yet ☆2

But he'd mentioned during the first date that his parents were away for an anniversary holiday and his little brother was staying with the oldest one who lived in his own apartment with his fiance; meaning we had the house for ourselves. As planned he picked me up and took me there, had some food delivered and we watched terrible horror films on netflix. He'd cheesily try to put his arm around me on the couch and I'd move closer, ending up snuggled together with my heart about to burst ☆ 3

At one point both brothers and the fiance show up with some food, for some reason and that's when I knew half his family on the second date lol. But they moved upstairs quite quickly after eating and left us alone to watch the movies. Eventually he'd kiss my cheek, not-so-subtly letting me know he wanted to KISS-kiss me, but me being the nervous little shit I am didn't really know what to do. It'd been two whole years since I even attempted to make out with someone!! ☆ 4

So he had to move even closer and he said, which I'll never forget: "you're so shy", which I wasn't surprised about, it's not common for a 22 year old to be that reserved, I guess, but with a little bit of patience that single moment turned into the best first kiss I've ever had. I was so scared he'd be a terrible kisser, like I'd experienced before bc that's just a deal breaker for me and everything else about him was so perfect; but boy...was I wrong. We ended up making out for so long that ☆5

Our lips hurt, and he didn't even try to go too far, already noticing that I wasn't the kind of girl to tear off our clothes and start fucking (not that I didn't wish I were lol), so he just held me tight and took me home eventually. God, the memory of his kisses will never leave my mind. To this day I still get butterflies because it was the kind of kiss that makes you feel like your bodies fit together and makes your toes curl :') ☆ 6

im so soft for you and him already :”)))) it’s so sweet that he wasn't afraid of scaring you off and still went for it!! a lot of guys i know are hesitant about dating an inexperienced girl bc they’re scared they will scare her off, and once my friend asked me how he should chase after a girl who has never dated. i literally got so pissed lmao i just said “just fucking treat her like a fucking normal person!!! what are you intending to do that might scare her off???” 

We had a third date after that, about a week later. We went out to eat and it was the day he started posting instagram stories with me and tbh I was surprised. In our generation it takes more than just a couple of dates for a guy to 'announce' he's not 'single' anymore. You know, like if he had intention of seeing other girls at the same time he wouldn't be parading me around for everyone to see, which only fed my hopes of him being 'the one' even more ☆ 7

omg yes :/ the dating culture is so complicated lmao like ppl can be going out with different people at the same time and there’s a certain time after which you’re considered exclusive... it’s so tiring tbh

Another week passed and out of the blue he was asking me to meet his parents. He was very lowkey about it; he said he missed me, mentioning they'd returned from NY and asking if we could meet again that night, but "my parents would be there too, is that a problem?" lol. So I said no, obviously, even though I was shitting my pants, I'd never met a boy's parents in that context before but he seemed excited. He picked me up and we drove back to his place where they were waiting for me ☆ 8

I decided I didn't want to read too much into it back then, but still couldn't help but notice that the older borther+fiance had dropped plans to go to dinner with us so 'the whole family would be there to meet me'. Did that mean him bringing a girl home wasn't that common? Was I actually that special? As if I didn't notice myself falling fast and hard for me enough, his whole family welcomed me with huge open arms. His little brother, extroverted as they come at the age of 10 did everything ☆9

To include me in the conversations; the older brother would tell embarrassing stories. The parents, both doctors, both dating since college and pretty much the whole family (fiancee included) were some of the most welcoming people I'd ever met. They treated me like a family member from the very beginning and noticing how nervous I was they would try to make the dinner as easy going as they could. The guy in question, let's call him Jed? Would hold my hand under the table to calm me down ☆ 10

Or rub soothing circles over my the fabric of my jeans to distract me when a family member would embarrass him. I fell in love with his family as fast as I fell in love with him and I just couldn't believe I'd found someone so perfect. We'd make out until our lips were sore and he'd drop me off at home always leaving me with a feeling of sadness that I had to say goodbye. He made me so happy that I started to go out more, meeting my friends I was just in such a good mood because of him ☆ 11

no you must have been so nervous!!!!! i mean i get that he was low key but  still... parents are a big deal. i hope his intentions were rly pure and that he was that into you!! but im glad they were nice :”) 

I'd even dare to say he made me a better person in ways only I can understand. He'd text me what he was doing or who he was with every day, all the time, even if I didn't ask -which I never did. Sure, he wasn't perfect; sometimes he'd forget we had plans. I have a feeling he lied to me a couple of times but about nothing really major; sometimes he'd be in a bad mood and be sarcastic and annoying af but honestly nothing too bad. All in all I had absolutely nothing to complain about him☆ 12

It wasn't until around a month and a half into the 'relationship' that we went out for drinks and then back to his place that he tried to have sex with me (he'd waited to bring it up more than any other guy I'd ever met lol). I didn't directly tell him I was a virgin, he kinda guessed, and he was more than okay with it, even saying 'I'll wait as long as you want to'; and damn I didn't really want to wait that long, it was just that the time was never right! ☆ 13

At this point we'd both had dinner with his parents several times already. They told me in that household they'd set the habit of having dinner together every night, and were more than happy to let me into their little tradition. At more casual nights we'd sit down and watch some film on netflix, the parents and little brother always moving upstairs at the end and leaving us both alone to make out some more lol. I was even invited to his dad's birthday dinner at a fancy ass restaurant ☆ 14

this is so cute 😭 im just very ugh whenever a guy kinda hints at sex bc dude u gotta make me WANT it not just ask for it :/ but it sounds like he was super respectful!! and tbh im just very bad with other ppl’s parents, but his sounds rly perfect  😭 do such ppl even exist??? i cant even remember the last time i ate w my family :/ 

So by the third month I already felt part of that family tbh. I'd cooked alongside the mother like lifelong friends, and sat down for coffee after dinner to talk about how fast technology is moving with his dad. His little brother would tell jokes or ask me to teach him some guitar and I think they began to love me as much and as fast as I loved them, honestly. I was even invited to the dog's birthday part lmfao I was just unable to attend but was kindly provided with video memories ☆ 15

Everything was going so perfect, I think we could've lasted so much longer but maybe just the timing wasn't right. I still remember him dearly though, but back then I had my heart broken so bad that I simply wish I'd never met him. What hurt the most was growing so attached to his family and then out of the blue, and without a single chance to say goodbye I never saw any of them again. I should've known life isn't a movie or a book and nothing that starts so well can end just as happily ☆ 16

WHY ARE YOU USING PAST TENSE?????????? NO!!!!!!!!!!! IM SO SHAKEN RIGHT NOW bc this feels like that part in a book where the author’s just leading u towards that horribly devastating ending and that’s exactly what ur doing  😭

The last night I went to his house - btw we never visited MY house because MY family as much as I love them to death aren't as welcoming as his was with me, so until I knew FOR SURE this guy and I were serious, I decided to suggest activities that required not being at my place lol - the whole evening started weirdly. He'd been taking longer than usual to text me, and it was getting too late so I though we just weren't doing anything but he insisted he wanted to see me ☆ 17

And fuck, I wanted to see him to, once or twice a week just wasn't enough anymore and I missed his touch so badly. So I agreed for him to pick me up, even though he kind of strung me along for a few hours. By the time he picked me up I hadn't eaten, not knowing wth we were going to do but he said he'd had dinner before picking me up. Why would he though? He knew we had plans, which usually involved dinner, why not wait for me for eating? Either way, I'd missed him, I wasn't about to fight ☆ 18

We reached his place and his mom was already going upstairs for sleeping along with the little brother; the father was performing a surgery so we were alone at the living room together. He was a little tense and I didn't understand why, he said he was tired because he'd had class up until late and I asked if he just wanted me to leave but he asked me not to; he wanted to see me, he wanted me to stay. We cuddled on the couch and I had to wake him back up several times, growing annoyed ☆ 19

And when the dad got home he quickly got up and pretended to do something in the kitchen. The man had to eat and we had to wait for him to leave to sit back together, the whole situation was awkward af. I was wondering if I should just call a cab and leave, but he insisted not to. At around 2am (it was a friday) while making out he asked if I wanted to go up to his room, to which I said yes. He knew what that meant, so he was excited about it, going upstairs to check if his room was clear ☆ 20

Damn, I hit ask limit again :'( I'll have to leave it here right now but I swear I'll get to the point eventually lol I'm sorry!! also thank you for giving me your patience and space to tell this story, I feel like this way I can tell it without filters about what really happened or how I felt and actually receive honest unbiased opinions

omg i literally cannot believe u ended right there??????? i hate tumblr’s ask limit. im on the edge of my seat right now!!! thank you for taking the time to send me these, im so invested in ur story now its insane!! 

come back whenever you have time bb

[shytiff]

Small August Wins

1 - DL, did my part for PKP, read a bit about leprosy reaction (PKP related), watched a cute movie tune in for love, ara stayed over at my home, edited 1 pld article

2 - exercised a bit, edited 3 pld articles, DL, finished ppt tinpus PKP, walked to the nearby lake with ara, ate nasgor smoked chicken (been a while!) and jco donuts and my tummy is happy, felt afraid with DV exam huft. I hope I can prepare myself properly

3 - DL, edited 1 article, went to school together w ara, deep fried by dr adhi for my minicex (but i am grateful for the opportunity), emir took a while to pick me up (he left home 1530 and arrived 1715) so i did some status work, arrived at home super hungry but moms food is delicious and wow glucose is finally in (after previously supported by nasi uduk and 1 jco donut) and the pain from today sort of fades away.

4 - DL, tried to study as much as i could (the panic is real), went to kencana to get dr adhis signature at 12 but he replied my chat at about 1330 🙃 , finished self reflection, group called with my group for exam prep

5 - did not DL bcs i fell asleep!! Thank god for streak freeze, met up with dr adhi in poli regarding minicex bcs turns out he brought my status etc, hes very kind 🥺 dr yudo kindly took his time to answer questions via wa voicenote even though he had a tiring day 🥺 bless all the kind people in this world

6 - DL, alhamdulillah passed the exam with dr sondang and dr larissa even though i was being a dumb ass student (thankfully theyre patient enough). Honestly panicked during the morning, i was super afraid. Searched some drug dosage for renata. I hope she passes the remed!!

7 - slept and lazed all day :( edited 1 article, dv closing. Managed to say thanks to dr yudo even though i was lowkey near tears bcs i cant for the life of me say something even mildy emotional, DL at like 15 mins before midnight

8 - finally at lvl 3 DL by cheating with my notes lmaoo, ate burgers and half pizza by dcheese pizza but had mencret2 the next day lmaooo, watched bosscha virtual sky sightseeing

9 - DL, watched Summer Vacation, edited 2 articles, put some sheet mask on (the numbers surely diminished since my cousin took some 🙂 ), pretty much watched youtube all day. At night i dreamed going to a villa that kinda looks like matamori, and the villa near it was also booked by other groups of friend, and i was recording snow falling from the sky and snow on the cliffs, but there was also a snake under the bed, and writing patients resume -_-(?)

10 - DL, read pem psikiatri cbt batch 1 optima, 25 CBT PADI, a fruitful 2,5 hr discussion with dr Heriani, SpKJ

11 - DL, poli with mendel hari and dr Khamelia, SpKJ, mustered some courage to do the ppt, phoned the patient to ask a little bit more, fell asleep and thank god i’ve prayed isya

12 - DL, lazied and played get rich, felt sick and was sick, nose congested, head starting to hurt, i dont know what is it that triggered my emotions but when my dad asked "tiff kok bersin2?" i felt like i have no privacy and they were too intruding and i wept silently in my room (bcs ppl outside can hear) and yall my nose just goes 100% blocked. aint accepting air today. Massaged my face around the sinus area until i can somehow breathe nicely and fall asleep. (took about half and hour of snot cleaning, drinking and mulling around)

13 - since i felt bad abt lazying i started my day early. Woke up at 5. Put on tretinoin, 15 CBT PADI, DL, naskah psikiatri WIP (Work in progress). It rained today. The sky was grey half of the day, which I LOVE. I felt better and more cheery, especially at abt 4-5 pm when it was raining hard and im snuggled in bed. The laptop stand arrived and bitch it was fucking amazing. My back and neck muscles felt less awkward and/or sore working at my ergonomically-awful table and chair combo turned ok thanks to laptop stand!!

14 - DL, poli with dr cika, crashed aras place (drank thai tea, ate flip burger and sausages), it felt refreshing to be in a different place rather than seeing my room all day everyday. Afterwards ara indah and i ate po noodle bar, the taste was kind of herbal (not brothy) in a good way. Tried some sort of gyoza, it was good too. Juan got accepted at USU civic engineering. Went to atikahs place, passed a red light and i got ppl a bit annoyed lmao sorry :(((, talked with atikah until 1-2ish pm

15 - richeese and fried rice for brunch time, went back home (felt socially refreshed!) to see 2 bottles of sbux coffee i ordered, claras nastar and vit d supplement from tokped. Did RPS and ikhtisar for naskah. DL. Sbux' coffee still upsets my stomach lmao but it did keep me awake and focused enough til 11 pm

16 - DL, after staying over at friends place i feel.suer content to be just at home. Ate while watching erna limdaughs vids, sleeeept

17 - DL, naskah WIP, whipped myself to go do naskah by drinking caramel macchiato and playing coffee - bts. It tasted better when i hear jks soothing voice

18 - DL, finally panicked a bit and did ppt, read a bit abt bipolar, chugged hazelnut dolce latte and somehow its not bitter anymore it actually tasted good. Talked w mendel and hari a bit abt the patient

19 - the dr actually showed up to zoom while i was opening other screen and i didnt realize (ultra embarrassing!!!) basically my diagnosis for axis I and II were wrong. She was kindly explaining and i was more dissapointed with myself but at least its all over? Talked w hansel a bit. Revised a bit of naskah. Submitted hardcopy of naskah and refleksi to mbak Asma. Went to ara. DL, ate gwen's dimsum (quite good and fulfilling). Planned to go to kashiwa but we ended up getting bakmi akiaw. Went back "home" to DM, took only 35 mins.

20 - DL, slept half of the day since im on my period (what even is daily structure), woke up in the evening, decided to start “the folk of the air” series. Binged the first book in one go, from 8 pm to 1 am lmaoo

21 - DL, finished the series at night. it’s nice but not as good as six of crows duology. bts comeback with dynamite!! :) i love them. its scary to think they are still progressing and going up and getting better stats. When will it all stop?

22 - discussion with dr natalia spKJ at 7.30 am, DL, drank matcha latte at starbucks airport hub (been a while! It doesnt taste quite good as i remembered) while backing up HD data at drive and some padi CBT (finished TO 3. After all this time, only to 3?!), felt a bit better after i went out, read a falling cohabitation again

23 - DL, danced to baepsae, slept in the afternoon (my body is too weak nowadays)

24 - DL, psychiatry closing, 1 pamela reif vid, 2P (CBT PADI)

25 - DL, made latar belakang for propeks nemo

26 - DL, 4P, rapat nemo

27 - DL, met up with atikah pupuy @ toska, tried yogurt and fruit, mac and cheese, vegan mentai rice and had dinner @ bakmi gm. mom somehow told (and allowed) me to go back home (it was 9 am and i was abt to stay over at atikah’s)

28 - DL, i dont feel like doing anything helppp, i know there’s stuff that im supposed to do but i cant bring myself to do it. a week will pass by, a month, and before you know it exam will arrive

29 - DL, ordered burgushi, i literally have no strength to go at static bike (can only do for a couple of mins), didnt rly do anything else bcs im in a slump nowadays

30 - its scary that the month is almost over again. my life just goes away like that but i still dont feel like doing anything, DL, tried to follow some dances on youtube to move my body

31 - DL, 2A, 4P

[daehquns]

( * kyong dae-hyun. )

♡ — * » KYONG DAEHYUN looks so cute on the beach !! apparently, ( he/they ) come from ( south korea ) and are a ( twenty ) years old ( pansexual ) ( demiboy ) ( med student ). other hotel residents described them as ( gentle + sage ), but also ( ambivalent - faint-hearted ). don’t you think they look a bit like ( PARK JIMIN ) ?

WARNING: this is really long, my dudes. so long.

hello hi hi, it’s SKY ( 2-o, she/her, cest tz, but an insomniac ) & this is my smol blob of confusion, so if their story confuses you, i succeeded. also this is easily my absolute favourite character ever, so ,,, idk random info. ALSO: i have an exam tomorrow, my peeps, so i don’t think i’ll be around till tomorrow but !! i can’t wait to plot & interact with all of you.

SORTA BIO THING:

[ MISCARRIAGE TW ] kyong daehyun was born in daegu, south korea on the 22nd of february 1997. they were sort of a miracle baby bc their mom went through two miscarriages before them ( she’s rh negative & the babies were rh positive n ,,, i wont explain the biology behind it, im sure yall know that ). they’re an only child. they’ve always wanted a sibling ( an older one ,,,, they always want the impossible things smfh ). so yeah, they were a bit lonely while growing up

they were a very weak child who’d fall ill quite often (their family used to call them aga/aggie/babybc of it … sorta stuck with them to this day ), so much that it affected their education. the poor bean skipped a lot of classes, so eventually their parents decided it was best for them to leave school. they were homeschooled !! altho they now have incredible work ethic bc of this, they didn’t have many friends while growing up :( they sorta didnt even get the chance to develop n test their social skills. they came in contact with their parents, nannies, parents’ business partners, etc … long story short, they were surrounded by adults. this made them VERY mature for their age, even back then.

the greatest discovery of their life was the internet. they had little interest in sports & going outside, so they’d spend their free time glued to the screen of their laptop, either watching movies, youtube videos & tv shows or getting to know strangers from across the world thanks to various websites & apps. they’d often stay up all night n ruin their sleep pattern in order to talk to their friends from other timezones. they made them so happy. so. happy.

their parents sort of made them pursuit a medical career, though, they literally have -10 interest in it. not 0. -10. they just want to make them proud, ok ?? especially since they’ve always been an incredible student n studying came easily to them. they were praised while growing up, so naturally they started thinking they were exceptional as well.

COLLEGE ! they. hate. it. hate it. like, they are fallin apart n are like “wow so what is this, i thought i was smart ?? they told me i was the most intelligent kid in the world wHY cant i do literally anything now w o w im so average yUCK”.  i mean, they still get good grades, but they ARE struggling.

[ PROFESSOR/STUDENT RELATIONSHIP THING TW ] … idk maybe someone’s triggered by that. anyway, there was a class that made them 11/10 done with life & they were sure they’d fail it n ruin their entire life, so they approached the professor ( who ,,, was rly hot n made hyunnie weak in the knees ok ) n were like “i will literally do ANYTHING in order to pass this class ,,,,,, pls”. like, they had 0 shame bc they were so done with it. n ,,, long story short, they ended up sleeping with the professor … ,,, multiple times. t was bc of the grade the first time, but … they’re pretty much in love with him now. and they’re a bit foolish, they hope he’s in love with them too. n idk they sort of dream about being in a real relationship with them.  l mao … my poor kiddo.

COOLER INFO THING:

nicknames include: hyunnie, dee, mochi ( i have to steal that from jiminieeee bc yes. my squishy bol of cuteness ), aga/aggie/baby. or just call them dae or  hyun honestly

daehyun is a demiboy ( they/them or he/him. if you refer to them as she/her, they will feel uncomfortable, but they will not have the guts to correct you. lmao one time they watched a woman make them european-style pancakes with nutella & cherries, even though they asked for a nutella/banana combo. they did not correct her. they ate half of it, left with a pout on their face n were sad for the rest of the day tHATS HOW ANXIOUS N SHY THEY ARE BYE ). anyway, as i said   ——   demiboy. panromantic ( very romantic, a huge dreamer. the type to imagine cute scenarios with their crush before falling asleep ). pansexual, though the most attracted to masculine physique buT !! they’re too self-conscious n emotion-dependent that they can’t have sex with just about anyone. n o. byee. like, the thought of getting naked in front of someone is terrifying to them, so they really need to trust n know the person. i wouldn’t call them demisexual though, since they do experience sexual attraction without having an emotional bond, they just … can’t let go of their ~stupid insecurities~

[ FOOD TW ] they don’t eat meat. yes, they do love animals n feel sad about those poor things, but that’s not the main reason why they don’t eat it. the smell, the look, the taste of meat makes them incredibly sick. when they were smol & had any sort of meat for lunch, they’d sit at the table for 5 hours n eat everything BUT the meat. most of the time, they used to give it to their dog who was v chubby bc of them. lunch was the worst time of the whole day for them, it was suuuuuuuper bad, especially since their parents didn’t understand their problem n called them spoiled. now that they are away from home, they’re super happy cause they can eat whatever they want ( sweets n pastries ). this bish ALWAYS has a lollipop in their mouth n a candy bar with them.

why are they obsessed with lollipops ? thanks to them they destroy their nails n cuticles LESS when bored, since their mouth is occupied. you can determine how life’s goin for daehyun just by looking at their hands. when everything’s good, their nails are painted ( the execution n design also say a lot about how much free time they have n how clear their head is ). when everything’s shit, they aren’t painted, they are bloody and sore, skin completely damaged, so much that it hurts to touch items with the very tips of their fingers. everything burns n they’re wincing 25/8.

they always have literally everything with them. you need a tissue, a comb, a hair brush, a band-aid, a hand sanitizer, a nail polish, some water, something sweet, a set of stem cells & a cure for every illness in the world ?they have it all. they’re always prepared for every situation. this is bc of their huge fear of facing a situation for the first time unprepared. also … you should never make them order food on their own or make a serious phone call or wtvr bc .. they can’t do that.

they’re fluent in english, but pls don’t throw big words at them :( they feel so embarrassed when they don’t know what something means. they go home & write the new word on one of their colourful cards, along with its translation to korean, a smol explanation & an example sentence n they have loads of those cards that they reread whenever they have time. when they learn a new word, they love showing off lmao dumbass

while they were back in korea n spending time on youtube, they used to watch a lot of kpop mvs + makeup tutorials n fell in love with makeup n wanted to look as beautiful as the people in those videos. they started stealin their mother’s makeup n used to be awful at paintin’ their face, but got better with time. they used to save money for eyeliners n primers n highlighters n all sort of shit n they’d hide all the products in their room n play with them whenever they were home alone. they know it’s their true passion& call, but they are so discouraged by the fact that they can’t even walk outside wearing makeup. they aint confident enough & still don’t think they can pull it off.

they made a new youtube account with the intention to post their own tutorials, but … mm, there’s still 0 uploaded videos on that channel

i’ve been struggling to decide which hair colour to go with … black, platinum blonde, silver or pink n i chose …pink.

they’ve never been in an actual relationship. never cuddled, or did couple-y things. their professor took their virginity, so … ya. that’s one of the reasons why they’re refusing to let him go.

[MEDICATION TW] as i mentioned before, they were a weak child who was often sick and had bad migraines ,,, this sort of got them hooked on medication ?? like, they will convince themself that their head is hurting and jus pop a pill without any need to do so ,,,, like, they are 110% sure they need pills to function normally every single day.

nature !! the world !! they love it.

aesthetics hoe !!!!!!!!! will sell their soul for the things that please their senses

they know how to draw well. they lololololove drawing comic book characters. like, they have their own characters already

dancing !!! especially contemporary ! bc ,,, i have a lot of those gifs n icons that i gotta use

loves apples ?

wants a cat. d e s p e r a t e l y

PERSONALITY:

i think it’s quite obvious that they’re a very anxious, shy & alert person 24/7 and i guess that you can see how their upbringing had a lot to do with it. i don’t view their shyness as cute and adorable, but they definitely aren’t grim either. they’re just closed-off. they’re not used to sharing personal stuff with other people, at least not face to face. online, everything’s different.

most of the time they’re like … “uhhhhh, people - i’d rather not. that can get me in a lot of awkward n uncomfortable situations n i’d rather avoid that’. they don’t find solitude depressing. they enjoy their alone time, they find comfort in it. they are very aware of the fact that their social skills suck & as i said a part of them doesn’t give a damn, but … another part is worried bc if they truly want to be in the makeup world, they will have to learn to be a people person, have a fantastic charisma n ,, talk to people ? lmao

their zodiac sign is pisces n they HATE IT lol they’re like “i’m not a whiny baby emo dreamer ew go away” so they keep telling people that their zodiac sign is aquarius bc it’s close enough n they find them cool n admire the description of the seemingly stoic sign that goes through life with their brain rather than their heart. they love to think that they’re strong n logical, that they’re not emotional … but that’s not the case. it’s all an act really

once you demolish their shell, you’ll find the most adorable creature in the whole entire universe ?/ they also love tellin stupid jokes. they almost never finish them bc they laugh too hard at em

they get attached to people VERY easily n then they can’t live without them n that freaks them the fuck out. like. they fall in love ten times a day. im. not. kiddin.

they’re all about living life to the fullest, they just have a bit different vision of what true livin is lmao

philosophical af ? hates small talk, always wants to talk abt deep shit

the type to send you memes and stuff that reminds them of you

WANTED CONNECTIONS:

this is so important. online friends. they met online a couple of years ago ( we’ll figure out how ) n now they’re both here and ? hyunnie is so scared to meet them bc they’re afraid that person won’t like them irl, but the desire is bigger than the fear !

similar to the previous one, but it was a long distance relationship ( it ended bc the distance was too much ig ). they only chatted, but they know everything about each other. they were infuriated every single day bc they couldn’t physically feel each other, but they still planned a future together, or at least meeting irl … maybe they now finally have a chance ?

crush. as i said, hyunnie falls quickly for a person. it can be unrequited. it’s just someone they daydream about n sigh over. or it can be the other way around, but hyunnie is quite clueless n doesn’t pick up on their hints.

friends ?? the plot depends on your charrie tbh but dw about it, i usually have 57430865026701348 ideas, so ya.

i have no idea what else ,,,, imma go make a wanted connections tag n reblog some plots probably. bUT HEY feel free to send plots my way, i luv that

[the-warmest-hands]

November has come

monday: ran to utegym at polo fields and then ran back. went to spoke easy before they even opened and got a loaner stem, still needa order a real one. stuck my old bars on which kinda fit? (later on i tried to gun it on balboa bump and handlebars moved, soooooo maybe it doesn’t fit) went to school on that shit anyway no bar tape, so cold bars. COLD BARS COLD HANDS in arch worked on science room with ray, it was good and we made progress tuesday: sore from utegym cuz weak, did stretch (eric goodman), went to volunteering where i shoveled a hundred loads of wood chips and got a blister from hauling wheelbarrows of that shit. it was fun af tho cuz strong and also fatigue then went to work where it was chill af and the perfect amount of orders also it was halloween and i ate some candy. also sayaka put a eyeball bow in my hair cuz i was looking very unfestive wednesday: decided to be lazy and not go to utegym. then dressed super nice (in emily’s clothes) and didn’t even bike to school but i looked fly as fuck!!!!!!! and then got nothing done in arch. bussed home and read more of jacques pepin memoir which was so fucking good then biked to work more perfect level of work then biked home in less than 5 minutes cuz im fast af

damn im tired

tomorrow gonna utegym. gotta get dem abs #swimmerBodNoSwim also it’s november also work is dope yo fuckin dig that shit

thurs: no utegym cuz woke up late. dragged my ass to volunteering. then work. chill timez friday: utegym! then trip planning and quick stop at spoke easy to order replacement parts. then work. work was good. j is back

saTURDay: transplanting at OH50 / work 4 dayz

sunday: BUILD TABLE went to discount builders for studs, carried them the 4 blocks to noisebridge, measured and cut our pieces, then sanded, then started nailing shit together. coulda done a better job planning cuz we then had to use wood glue cuz we didnt want to have the screws be visible. clamped and left it there to dry

monday: science room with ray at enchante, then bussed to noisebridge to meet emily and do minor sanding. took table home via uber

tuesday: volunteering (tired af) trapping gophers! / work (still tired af)

wednesday: school? what the fuck i don’t even remember cuz i’m tired af hung out with ray and we got no work done because we were just talking about food (and now i have to do a million fucking things), then work which was brutal

thursday: biked to get various errand shit in potrero hill / discount builders since we were going that way anyway and apparently every other hardware store is like $$$$$$$ because fucking idfk, bought some pants at xroads cuz one of my two pairs of jeans ripped on tuesday (in the bikeseat crotch area, same demise as all previous pairs of pants) (maybe i should get a new saddle) (with what money tho) (but actually maybe) then went to work which was brutal also now i’m home and uhh i have to do homework

also since i like to be stressed all the goddamn time i’m going to spend all of my free time browsing requirements for grad school

why

why do this

i never even fucking browse internet anymore

because i am literally never on my laptop

because i have no goddamn time

this year is almost over

plz hurry

oh also splurged and got myself a croissant at arsicault finally (seriously i needa stop going to places just to buy shit for other people and not buying anything for myself??? DO THEY EVEN DESERVE IT) (but also seriously stop. i have no money for this) (also got emily one too cuz i mean, almond croissant? that had her name on it) (but also seriously. poverty rules everything around me. PREAM) (ok i want to die bye tumblr) (also misha are u happy w these xanga-esque angst posts LMAO all 4 u bro) (jk i know u have no time to read my bs)

also been listening to rly dope music lately like ACE OF BASE the best this shit gonna get me thru the rest of 2017 like how 3EB got me thru every programming job ever (”got me thru” aka “kept me from quitting even sooner” LMAO) goodbye tech forever goodnight moon

friday: wtf day even is it woke up worked on science room cuz ray couldn’t meet up for whatever reason who gaf (but also prolly i was more productive since i didn’t waste a hundred hours chatting) listened to a lot of ace of base a lot still listening to ace of base actually then went to work after i spent a hundred hours doing 1 insignificant af thing

work was ok started slow, then more orders, also ate a lot of candy in effort to stay alive talked to bosses after work and they said i was doing a good job but also seem to always be in a trance whenever im prepping. aka being slow af. okkkkkkk i will work harder on this also im dying and im prolly gonna cut OH50 tomorrow because i honestly can’t or i could just take the bus there and bring my laptop and work on science room project or i could not take the bus there and just work on science room project at home

i needa ride my bike on monday at polo field im dying

i need to clear my head

saturday: k i cut OH50 because i frankly couldn’t be bothered, and also did fucking nothing broke my window cuz i sat on it while putting up lights so now i have to fix this also my phone for some fucking reason isn’t charging so i have to figure out wtf is going on there uh work was good idk bosses gave me birthday gifts

[survivoremathia]

Ep. 8 - "I'm Fully Ready to Amass an Army" - Matthew

http://survivoremathia.tumblr.com/post/158417598191/announcement

http://survivoremathia.tumblr.com/post/158440201536/merge-tribe-name-and-buff-announcement

http://survivoremathia.tumblr.com/post/158440315206/reward-2-survivor-auction

RYAN PALMER

So my wonderful alliance, The Fam, is not something I plan on being a part of for very much longer rn. The Jay vote was handled completely wrong. I mean....I'm not upset it was him...but the way we did it....no. First of all I was told we were voting Jay not asked. In fact...Trevor just stated "I'm voting for Jay." What the fuck. That's not how alliances work. And then we didn't tell Isaac or David. And during this Trevor told me that Scott was voting for Isaac but clearly Owen knew he was getting that vote. I'm over it. I talked and apologized to David and Isaac about it last night and basically threw Trevor under the bus to them. Then we merged! And I told Matt about everything. He seems to really like J.D. and Ali so I am fine with working with them if comes to it. Matt really is my #1 ally at this point so I hope things work out. I am sure Trevor/Owen/Lydia will be pissed at me but this is just a game so it's not personal....I just don't like they way Trevor is playing rn.

LOGAN

Okay so full rundown of merge! I think I'm in a bad position right now, but I really want to have a F2 with Duncan. I think between my sunshiney personality and duncan being duncan we could probably get there? Maybe? Idk. Still scared of trevor, but maybe people will see me as less of a threat now that the other bangladesh peeps are gone. RIP rob and eddie, you are missed. 

DUNCAN

Oh my god they killed Jay! That's literally so sad :'( Jay mom wasn't lying when she said this was going to be an intense season. It's already been filled with tears, but now that we've merged, here comes the blood. I don't think I'm on the top of anyone's hit lists, but I'm not in a safe spot  rn so I could  be an easy peasy merge boot. But just happy to be here at the end of the day. Making merge every Athena game? nNut!! Now I have to get through 10/11 more votes....................party! I know Samuel trusts me bc I have him that idol and spit shined his ass the last tribal. Logan and I are kind of at a weird place. We trust each other more than other people but we need to find a fucking home or else we're gonna be get our torches snuffed back to back. As for merging with the other tribe? I'm so relieved to be back with Owen. Like thank the fucking lord there's someone who I can trust again bc all these players are dangerous as get out. I'm a lamb in a pack of wolves. The gag is I'm a wolf in a lamb costume. What I need to do is just law low for a couple rounds while not taking any power position and just strengthen bonds with my tribe mates. Idc who the vote is as long as I can make sure the vote isn't for me and I'm not next on the to go list. I want to do a f3 with Owen and Trevor bc they'll always be a threat as a duo before me, Owen had my back, and I can't get Owen to ever vote out Trevor so why not just work with him? Right? Ummm other things to say? I'm so glad I got the merge tribe name! Oizys! The goddess of misery and anxiety! Everything I've been feeling since this game has begun :-) although it's been stressful I've had a good time bc of how intense this season is. And if I win it, it will be definitely earned. Getting to the end in monuriki was kind of like a cake walk I'm not gonna lie. Getting to the end in motu? Emotionally draining? But with idol help it was manageable to get to the end. This time? Nothing could have prepared me for this. Like, this is so much more intense. It's not only a new ballpark, it's an entirely new game altogether. With merge happening the game has been reset and we'll see if I can play slither or sheep my way into some group. 

TREVOR

https://youtu.be/EwI-sf7ATD0

DAVID

Im here to step it up! I hate all of my alliance for making me not vote with them but also i have no one else I care about so i HAVE to stick with them those BITCHES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Anyways MERGE ITS HERE I DID IT MOM. I still dont have Scott added so theres that

MATTHEW

Merge time! So, a 13 person merge with a 5-4-4 original tribe split is hot as hell and I'm proud of us as a cast for being so messy that we've kept the numbers super even. With the swaps and drama that's been going down, it's really difficult to judge at this point where exactly the lines are going to be drawn for the rest of this game. Numbers wise, people who have had bad blood previously are going to have to kiss and make up just to survive which is GLORIOUS for me, especially because I'm already working on becoming BFFs with Logan again after we found ourselves on opposite sides during the first NuOthrys vote. Duncan still seems to be difficult, however, because we don't even talk but I already hear he's doing things that are contrary to what I want to happen in this game and it's just a whole lotta yikes. As of right now, there's one person that sticks out like a sore thumb as a huge target, and that's my old pal Trevor. I absolutely adore Trevor, we were really close a long time ago and I still view him as an absolute sweetheart and great person, but he apparently hasn't been doing himself any favors in this game. Obviously, he has some major connections; a boyfriend for starters, and a BFF in Lydia. Even though that's only a small three, it's the same sort of fear I had about the Bangladesh trio. When you have a group of people who are so close, they basically function as one vote, which is really hella scary down the line because if you needed to flip someone it's not happening. I don't think it would be absolutely necessary to split them up this early, but Trevor has gone to the labyrinth like every single round. I know he knows about the coveted Door #9, which I've had my eye on since literally round 2 of this game, and it really scares me that he could have a whole lot of advantages that I don't know about. Another thing is that I've been able to meet back up with Ryan, my original closest ally on the starting tribes. According to him, Trevor lead the Jay blindside and left a lot of people uncomfortable. Apparently, he's also been making alliances left and right with basically everybody. I don't doubt this at all, especially because Trevor told me the night we merged that he wanted to bring Sam and I into his majority. That's awesome because it keeps his target off of me and sorta lets me know what he's planning, but it also sketches me out that he's playing so hard. I definitely think he will be able to shoot himself in the foot eventually, but I kinda view Trevor as an easy target that I can use to build trust with other people. When you make a big move, it really bonds people together, which is why I always trusted in The Hydra alliance of myself/Sam/JD/Ali. If we make another big move by dethroning Trevor, I can continue to solidify bonds with a much larger group of people. Anyway, the auction throws even MORE items into the game, because it's not like we already have an ENTIRE ROOM IN THE LABYRINTH where anyone can willy nilly pick up unlimited extra votes at any time right? I've been perusing my options here, but I've been tempted this entire time to bid on what Trevor is bidding on to prevent him from going to the labyrinth. I don't think this is the smartest idea for me because it exposes my hand very early and also would prevent me from going to the labyrinth and getting my hands on whatever is behind Door #9. My best course of action is just to be vigilant when results are posted and beat Trevor to the punch. The current plan of action is to weaken Trevor in any way possible and go in for the kill. I'm fully ready to amass an army to take him down that I can hopefully ride out for a few rounds. I'm definitely going to be putting myself out there, but with Trevor is gone, these people are going to need a shield. And I'm just going to be the shield that they can trust for a while.

OWEN

Lmao so there's a SECRET SECRET on this tribe behind the ninth torch door and I have a big feeling that everyone knows about it. So it's literally become a race to the labyrinth. I've already taken two major L's tonight with the auction items I got being useless and/or disadvantageous SO!!!! Hopefully I can get to that damn door first. [9:00:07 PM] Jay Berghuis (Emathia Host): The labyrinth is now open and I am getting off the train. [9:00:09 PM] Owen: Can I go to the labyrinth pls It literally took me two seconds so fingers crosst huh! Update: Fuck my life. I hate my luck in this game. I'm sixth. Anyways.... This merge of 13? W H E W. Once again, this game has been some kind of amalgamation of seriously weird relationships. There's Trevor, Ryan, and Lydia which is probably my closest like "collective" alliance here. But then there's Matt and David who are other tie-ins to Ryan since the four of us had an alliance too. But then there's Sam, who I want to work with, but I can tell he trusts Trevor more than me, which makes sense since they started together. AND THEN DUNCAN SOMEHOW HAS TO FIT INTO ALL OF THIS because at the beginning of the game I swore allegiance to him, but he has never fit into the other plans or groups I've made?? And then there are the newbies, Ali and JD. I really wanted to start this game with newbies on my side. I REALLY wanted to get to play with new people. And I really do like Ali. But Ali/JD are already doing what Sam says I'm pretty sure, and like.... They want to work with Trevor which probably includes me but as a fifth or sixth? Idk. And then there's like Logan/Isaac/Scott who I think are probably the most on the outs. It's strange because the pairing of Sam/Trevor has attachments to Ali/JD/Duncan and Lydia/Ryan/myself, with Matt falling somewhere in there too. It's a huge shit show orgy of alliances and I don't like it because it's not fun. I don't know why but I'm really not having fun. I know too many people in this game and not in a good way. I don't feel like I can truly do what I want because I have to keep in mind a balancing act with so many other relationships. I don't want to screw Trevor, I don't want to screw Duncan. I don't know. The whole Sam and Trevor thing makes it harder too. And I'd like to think I have Duncan as a number one, I probably do, but I can't be sure whether Duncan will think I'm lying or not. So what I need to do for a bit is just, let things be as they are. There are still 13 people in this game. I've proved in the past that I'm willing to make a move, I'm willing to flip a script, I'm willing to go against a majority. I've done it all. But like... This is a true Greek God-like family where the family tree gets all fucked up cause people can't keep their penises in their pants!!!!!!!!!!!! So I'll let the Gods eat each other's heads, fuck each others wives, swallow each other's children, do all that shit, and at the end of the day hopefully I'll be here in a few rounds to look at all of the pieces left and pick up the ones I want. Until then, my short-term goals are miniscule: don't get voted out, and keep Duncan safe. I literally have no luck in this game. I can't rely on an idol or any other power. I get the same damn message FOUR TIMES in a row. And two seconds wasn't fast enough to get anything else out of it. So :) Let them use their powers on each other and maybe they'll forget about me when they think about all the other people doing shit! Whew!

-

I cannot believe the shit Ali tells me???? Like Trevor and I are talking and Trevor's telling me all this stuff that Ali said about the labyrinth and everything and like sadfkhfjd Ali literally told me all this too and we've been talking for less than 24 hours. It's like... Good because information, bad because everyone else gets the same info?? But now he's trapped in the labyrinth so I guess he can't spill all the tea anymore!!!! oOPS! And JD.... JD. I love this girl because she doesn't quite understand.... And I want to be friends with her too I'm cryin fksjddhfsjd these newbies are something else huh!

LOGAN

SO. THANK YOU MATT FUCKING SUMMERS. Matt comes to me before labyrinth opened and he goes "So there's this locked door that opens post-merge that both Trevor and I know about." And I FUCKING WENT IN THE DOOR CUZ I GOT FIRST PICK. AND GUESS WHO HAS AN EXTRA VOTE?

http://survivoremathia.tumblr.com/post/158455510956/immunity-challenge

JD

Sooooo, I've really not good with auctions. I mean, that really isn't a surprise i guess. But all well. My alliance got some stuff and that's what matters... Partly Because it can still benefit me and partly because now i know what a lot of people got/ what it does

-

I feel... Much bad. Like i feel so stupid for questioning Trevor. This is way your not supposed to talk to anyone outside the game about the game. I shouldn't question him really because him really because i feel like him and Lydia both want to take me or and or Ali to the final. 'i helped carry a newbie with me, while protecting myself' they'll have another thing coming though if that's their plan. 

-

Omg ALI!! I'll come for you! We'll find out..... After tribal though~ it sucks because i cant communicate with my closet partner. So i just hope he's okay with what I do for tribal... Even though it's all basically the same as we've been playing.

http://survivoremathia.tumblr.com/post/158512844281/announcement

ALI

https://youtu.be/Odf-Lk8GHIo

-

Can I just apologise for chewing gum in my last video confessional? It sounds super distracting and annoying- sowwy! :)

TREVOR

https://youtu.be/HaJC-MgoVqU