#im not obsessed lol i just find people so interesting and i want to figure em out

[austinsastrology8991]

Uranus and why your life is a ShiT ShoW > URANUS IN Yer HOUSe <

Uranus in the FIrst - You are the most unpredictable little fuck-head that everyone loves. They always change > there clothes, there direction in life > their hair colour. they thrive in change unless you try to change them, they are the ones changing and dont you dare change them, thats all they have left ;( Uranus in the Second. - Crazy self esteem issues. these people think they are the greatest then the worst person, also same applies to their income because they dont think they are worth much, until they invest into bitcoin and think they will be the next warren buffet. honestly the only thing stable about you is the perception of your value changing. But they love change, something to look forward to i guess Uranus in the Third your brain and communication skills are kinda fucky you know that dont you. you always know how to say something shocking, and extremely good at changing the subject of a conversation, like you dont have to say much, but what you do say just made everyone go huh what the fuck you say? its amusing tho we appreciate you Uranus in the F4urth - Emotionally avoidant, dependent, and attached personalities. They cant make their mind up on how they feel, so they experiemnt with every feeling to see if they vibe with that. mum was probably very unpredictable, and they wanna be like her. they just trying their best to forgive her <3 Uranus in the Fifth - Okay this one is the genius. This one people actually think your onto something when your showing off because you break free of every social convention, and archetype, but in the most perfect way. everyone believes your special, and you can change the vibe of a room like dat Uranus in the Sixth - what a fkn mess your life is. I had this one friend who would have 10 different drinks in his room and he would drink each one sparingly (they were all warm too). he had some serious health issues, and lets not get into his mental health okay. but yall have crazy lives and you make it that way Uranus in the Seventh - Im not a player i just fuck a lot. they choose their partners based off how interesting they are, if you can satiate their curiosity you got em. but if your boring or not worth figuring out yeah g-bye. also they just come off strange so everyone is extremely curious. they get projected on a lot but they dont mind its a good way to find out something interesting lol Uranus in the Eighth - Freaks who will do anything.... and im not just talking about sex, if they want something they'll find any way to get it. masters of attainment, even if its probably not healthy for them, they don't care if they want it they get it. then the object of their fixation changes as soon as they do get it. they are like obsessed with 'progress' but its hard to call it that sometimes Uranus in the Ninth - Clever minds who are always skipping segments of a speech, or a video to find the juicy parts. They have very quick minds that are so easily bored, but if you talk to them, they'll never not have something interesting to talk about. also when change does occur its a LOt Uranus in the Tenth - why are yalll like this. just baffling people like they know how to make an entrance and when everyone starts loooking at them, they decide to make fun of everyone by doing something a lil bit too shocking, almosst making fun of you for looking at them. gets off on shocking ya Uranus in the Eleventh - They wanna change the world, but not in a way that is practical. until it is. They have a million friends because they have a knack for understanding people, but when you ask what they want or what scares them. it just makes you rethink why your even friends with them in the first place. 12 - your crazy. and its endearing but everyone is this close to calling the cops on you or locking you up in a psyche ward. maybe tone down your retardation. we all got something going on but you take it to a whole new level.

[ashoss]

i wanna jump in on the bat x pjo au! (absolutely obsessed with it btw… the jason and cass being kids of nemesis……… galaxy brain)

(and forgive me if youve already said in a prev maybe)

but do any of the kids have additional demigod powers? like beyond the good at battle, understands greek, stronger than the average bear etc but like how percy can create hurricanes :)

i might have gone over some of their powers in separate posts but ive never really gone into depth on any of them :)

i don’t really want to give them super strong powers (like nothing on the level as the Seven lol). i think them having small sway over things would be best. (btw im going through each cabin's abilities on the pjo wiki :D)

dick as a child of hermes has a bit of increased speed, im not sure how much though lol. definitely stealthier and can sense traps and different locks and stuff. hes probably also pretty persuasive.

babs- since she isn't a demigod but instead a blessed mortal is a bit different from all of them. @pooky-chan sent me a great ask about apollo and babs and her blessing which i thought was very yummy! so babs just finds it easier to find information and find connections between things a bit easier. as they put it apollo "greases the wheels".

jason and cass's powers would be similar to eachother, since theyre both nemesis kids. they both have tychokinesis (what ethan nakamura has on his wiki - so directly controlling "the likelihood of things good and bad things happening to individuals to even out supposed good luck and bad luck") they can sense when people want revenge/vengeance on something.

(theres actually not a lot to go based on for powers for the children of nemesis so im not all sure on it)

its mostly their legacy powers that stick out- cass as a hades legacy can sense death and can actually feel or see a soul leaving a body. she could probably talk to the dead but it causes a physical strain on her. while not as potent as nico's, she could faintly see someones life aura. she can also blend into the shadows easier. (she cant shadow travel or have actual control over the dead.) shes basically Nico Lite (tm) (i also like to think she unconsciously makes the temperature colder when shes around :))

and jason as an asclepius legacy would be able to tell at a glance if there is something medically wrong with someone and has pretty good medical knowledge. (basically jason is a godsend in the medbay). he does have healing powers, but he probably doesnt figure them out until after he's revived. i think it would be interesting if he could only heal other people and not himself :)))) (he also unconsciously heals people) ((also also to foil cass he probably makes the temperature a bit warmer. like how being healed feels warm :DD)

(tim im a little unsure on atm. hes def a child of aphrodite but i do also want to incorperate athena in there too. i dont know if i want him to be like,, 25% aphrodite or 25% athena - basically his parents were demigods- but im still debating a bit between that and child of Venus, as the roman equivalent of aphrodite has more warlike associations - i.e battle strategy... soooo) he has better emotional insight and can sense peoples emotions. he has a light form of charmspeak thats mostly more about sounding Intelligent more than actually influencing people (like an authority bias. people are more likely to listen to him because he sounds intelligent and he knows what he's talking about- ex: if tim were to suggest someone clean something up, they probably would because well, why else would he be suggesting it? he knows what needs to be done.) hes also pretty crafty and has some more strategic intelligence in addition to his bat training lol.

stephanie i think im set on being a child of Cardea (minor roman goddess of hinges). if thats the case, pooky-chan sent another ask where they went over how broad hinges really were. so steph could manipulate hinges and since so many different things contain hinges it could really be a pretty powerful ability.

however i do like child of veritas (roman goddess of truth). in this case she would basically be a human lie detector, and also people would probably feel the need to NOT lie to her.

damian i legit have no clue. hes the one i have the least ideas on lmao. because for him i would also have to go into the LoA and bruce's parents, and both i dont really have anything im set on yet :p. definitely something with magic from the al ghul side tho!

[syrupspinner]

i completed the demo for metaware high school

shoutout to beloved mutual autistic nari for selling me on this, and sorry for forgetting to make this post until now lol. thisll be a long one so strap in!

so i think its safe to say that ddlc really shook up indie gaming from a cultural standpoint. first is that it helped people figure out that visual novels have value as a medium, inexplicably. theres been this weird holdover in western gaming culture at large from like, the 2010s xbox era, where visual novels dont count or something. if people engage with them at all, its dismissively, and people come away with the idea that everything is a sound novel and therefore boring. but like... not only are sound novels good, but ryukishi07's work is the only example of a vn not having an interactive component. dating sims are basically stat managers, detective games require attentive puzzle-solving, and a lot of vns outside that have interesting gameplay hooks like va11hallas drink mixing

all this is to say that i feel like ddlc was designed in a lab to be a 'hiding medicine in the balogna' situation, where people can say that it may be a visual novel, but its totally worth it for the funny viral scares. well, im glad it did, because now it feels like people are very very slightly more receptive to visual novels

but, more importantly, it brought more attention to the postmodern potential of video games as a medium. this isnt the first time that gaming has borrowed aspects of postmodern literature (characterized by interacting with itself and intentionally subverting audience expectation) such as stanley parable's famous use of a unreliable narrator within the context of a controllable story. but ddlc makes it feel ludonarrative. games like oneshot and imscared already paved the way for games that interact with the player as computer files and use this context to create puzzles and simulate a haunted computer, but ddlc was one of the first games to make a character aware of the fourth wall and interact with their negative feelings on the matter. traditionally, 4th wall breaks are treated as comedic, seen best with characters like gwenpool. but... wouldnt knowing that not only is everything in the world fake, but there is only a single person who actually matters? a player that has agency that you are designed to lack, a sole audience member that you are asked to perform for. thatd fuck anyone up.

hence, metaware high school. fun fact, because of how much i associate VNs with high school settings with japanese culture, i keep wanting to pronounce it metawarAY, but that ruins the pun of the portmanteau of meta and aware. i played fucking めたわれ bro.

so its pretty clear that this game is iterating on ddlc, only in the context of being in a demo. in addition, it takes more of a character studying approach to how individuals understand their world. nari gives into despair and helplessness knowing that she is helpless to fight her scripted actions. hope takes a very relaxed and lackadaisical "its just a demo, bro" outlook, izzy is obsessed with fulfilling her role but anxious because she doesnt know what the full game is. the idea that they dont know the full game is interesting, because it brings to mind religious undertones. christians, as children of god, are 'supposed' to live godly lives, and seek fulfillment from something that they can only trust is invisibly real. the difference is that the player is different from the creator. i didnt make izzy, but its still her purpose to demonstrate the game. what is the punishment for failure? what does failure even look like? is it worth the risk to find out?

going back to nari and hope, i find their dynamic really interesting. the game presents nari as a mysterious character to begin with, hardly talking except for the end of routes. personally, i think it makes sense for her to have such a connection to hope. i should capitalize her name so you dont get confused, huh. its funny because nari has a pretty hopeless disposition, resigned to her fate and disillusioned from her surroundings. i dont think she has completely dehumanized the other characters in the same way monika saw the other club members as meaningless code. my view is that nari is just as real as her friends, and any disregard of them is just from post-realization depression. the player isnt more real or more important, at least outside of the demo's machinations that nari is forced to work within, but instead a lovecraftian intruder from outside their schema of reality. Hope sees them as more of, like, some fella. weird glowy thing. i wonder if they like mochi. this isnt out of stupidity or callous disregard, we are shown scenes of Hope being emotionally considerate and using the structure of reality in creative ways (the "what word am i thinking of" gate), so we as the audience know that Hope is making the personal choice to acknowledge the world in a more positively nihilistic way. yeah, its a demo. thats what the world is. wanna get mochi? i like mochi

i think if Hope werent so roxy lalonde flavoured, Aspen would be my fave. nari reacts with despair, Hope reacts with a casual smile and a shrug, izzy reacts with concern and anxiety, then aspen reacts by thinking about how they can directly benefit from the situation. the second they find out the player knows about the future, they sequester you into a very long series of questions. like, im convinced if the the apocalypse was happening, aspen would cheer and go full mad max. i think this extends to why they want the game to be a dating sim so much, because that would be the genre that directly benefits them the most. like, if its a detective or mystery game, theyd have to solve a mystery or die or whatever, but if its a dating sim they get a cool ephemeral entity to date!

and then theres chris. shes something of a mascot for the game demo, so i expect her reaction to reality (read: her personal philosophy) to be pretty important. from her route, we learn that she loves visual novels, and from that she wants to make the player enjoy her visual novel (demo) too. i think this is interesting on its own: if you learned that the world was a game, wouldnt you want that game to be good? especially in the context of the player messing around and taking the piss, where she gets upset that youre not taking her effort seriously. if izzy is the stage director, chris is the lead actor, at least that's how she's appointed herself. actually, her contrast with izzy is interesting, because theyre both the only characters who feel dedicated to performing their roles appropriately. with izzy, it feels more negative, but chris feels more like a sincere and intrinsic dedication. she wants to make the world better, just because shes enjoyed so many other great worlds and wants to spread that feeling to others.

so yeah, this feels like a more exploratory expansion of ddlc's concept. but upon reflection, i dont think theres anyone who copes with their circumstances the same way monika does. monika goes through a sort of philosophical derealization where the player becomes the only thing thats real, but nobody in metaware feels the same level of disconnection in my opinion. nari gets the closest of course, because she has the most intimate awareness of the games code and script, but shes uniquely powerless and is forced to recognize that, in addition to the aforementioned realness of her friends. so she CANT be a yandere, she hates the player for essentially being spoiled by having the whole world live and die by their convenience. ddlc's player is the most important person (positive) while mwhs's player is the most important person (negative, in naris perspective). it reminds me of how everhood positions itself as a response to undertale, building on its interaction with games as an artistic medium by building on its themes without presenting itself as a correction. i also just love the fact that since the world being a demo is a known truth, no characters perspective is presented as definitive, which does a better job of inviting the player to engage with the world and come to your own conclusion on what reaction would be the most justified

oh, and the ending... its like every character is confronted with the ultimate culmination of the world, as a direct challenge to their personal outlook. Hope's playfulness dissolves into panic, because she never seriously contended with this and used her casual playfulness as a coping mechanism that doesnt work anymore. nari meanwhile is totally nonreactive, this has been a forgone conclusion for her for a long time, such an innate inevitability it may as well already have happened... which doesnt make the moment any more enjoyable, shes panicking as much as Hope. izzy's biggest concern is her friends, the ones shes been panicking at the whole game until that point, the ones shes been relaying her concerns to and desperate to force into line to try and Play Their Role as theyre supposed to, just in case. but shes alone anyway. aspen reflects on their efforts to extract meaning and benefit from their circumstances and lements never having real control. chris romanticizes their memories and just expresses thanks for everything, ever positive. its an interesting analysis of their culmination of all their philosophies. like, hope and nari were pretty opposed, but they feel pretty similar in the end. chris's optimism cant hold up in the face of oblivion and fades into the same mournfulness and regret as her friends. end the end, regardless of outlook, its hard to change the basic human reaction to inevitability and tragedy

metaware is immaculately crafted, its a wonderfully made exploration into human reactions to fundamentally inhuman circumstances. the characters all feel unique and reasonable, memorable yet realistic, but still with a thematically relevant twinge of scripted performance. anyone who doesnt like visual novels can kiss my ass, youre gonna play this and youre gonna like it.

so yeah, excited for the full game! i hope its a roguelike deckbuilder

[mamadarama]

Re: Leo Ruka ask anon

Oops I meant in general! I keep thinking about the songs and I know Knights do it for their fan service, but I always wonder if there's someone they want to be a knight and protect. And when you think about it, they all do. Tsukasa wants to protect Kohaku, Leo's could be Madara, Izumi (begrudgingly I say this) could be Makoto, Naruchan's could be her friend, and Ritsu, maybe Mao?

Honor, protect, guide and live for these people, like a Knight would to their princess. Always in their heart and back of their minds. And what I meant with Leo is that I just think it'd be cute if Ruka is his little princess/p 😭 he gets so excited and happy about her. I can see him going around playing and cheering her up by acting as her knight. Then again, I admit I don't know much about Ruka, but it's cute to think about.

(irrelevant, personal opinion: as a guy enstars player I sigh a little whenever I hear words like "my lady" or "princess" being used. It's not that I'm bothered with Anzu, I actually like that we play as her, a solid character. I'm just referring to songs in general 😭😭 where are my MLM enstarries at... Do you guys not exist HELLO)

ohh i see. i was thinking abt knights awhile ago and i realized something similar to this, actually youre super close to what i found the knights have in common with each other that makes them fit under the same theme— they all have at least one person that their relationship with is a load bearing part of their character (either a positive or negative relationship) . for tsukasa its tori and kohaku, for leo its izumi and madara, for izumi its makoto and leo, for ritsu its mao, and for arashi its akiomi and mika.

leo does care about ruka a lot and that would be super cute... i think he sees her as more of an equal though and wants to protect her more like how a knight would protect a fellow knight than how a knight would protect a princess . which is still so cute . hes probably written songs for her though

what i find interesting abt this theme is that even though they are metaphorically knights of the respective people they care about, the devotion and allegiance that makes them fit that role is cranked up to 11 and either almost or does borderline obsessive . im gonna jus make a list explaining this one by one for convenience . also readmore cuz i typed too much woops lol

tsukasa - his rivalry with tori is nothing short of ridiculous. even though they dont get along tsukasas commitment to continuously butting heads with him absolutely counts as devotion. as for kohaku he feels its his duty to protect him as part of the head family (ironic considering the oukawas role to the suou family is to protect them)

leo - he cant function efficiently without either izumi or madara being within arms reach (metaphorically). he needs someone to talk to that knows him like the back of their hand and he gets lonely if he doesnt have that . you dont have to look too close to see how loyal he is to the both of them

izumi - his devotion to leo and makoto is so strong that the thought of them being in distress will literally make him snap . the whole reason hes Like That with makoto is because when he was unable to help leo when he was depressed during the war, he panicked and started overcompensating for makoto because he was worried the same thing would happen to him , and if he didnt do something it would be too late.

ritsu - this is the most obvious one i think. ritsus mental health would immediately collapse without mao and he will not under any circumstances let anything or anyone take mao away from him. tbh mao is more of ritsus knight, but the devotion between a noble and their personal guard goes both ways . most of the time mao is the one protecting ritsu but if mao was in danger i think ritsu could probably split the earth in half by force of will alone .

arashi - being a big sister figure shes already somewhat protective of everyone she cares about, but with mika its a lot stronger. notably her aggression towards shu on mikas behalf despite mika and shu not being on bad terms . with akiomi, if youre not familiar with narus backstory, she was his modeling partner as a kid and looked up to him so much that she would even try and copy his appearance. their relationship has changed since he retired from being a model but still she wouldnt be even remotely the character she is now without akiomi and if you were to change that part of her backstory it would butterfly effect her whole character.

[jarchaeology]

first, thank u for everything you do for the jensen archive. second, i was wondering if you’ve come across any photos of jensen wearing those yellow glasses somewhere besides the teen people party in 1999. im just very interested (read: obsessed) and i just wanted to find more photos of them and also see if it’s possible to figure out what brand they are. thanks!

hey! thank you 😊. i WISH i had more info for you on those glasses. that is the only time i've seen him wear those. i zoomed in and it looks like he was wearing his contacts at the time. so theses were just a fashion statement. very appropriate for 1999 lol.

[mauveberries]

i always use u as a point of reference to the tomarry/harrymort fandom coz ur my only mutual who ships them,, but after reading a couple of ur posts I have come to the impression that u are.... quite the polarizing figure in the fandom.

what's the tea?? is there drama in the harrymort fandom?? do they have just as bad fanon takes as the marauders fandom do?? im so curious 0_0

"quite the polarizing figure in the fandom." HELPP 😭 this ask is SENDING MEE 😭😭

i have been fighting for my LIFE in this fandom because of my... unique opinions that do not conform with the consensus the fandom has decidedly settled upon. i wouldn't say there is drama in the fandom. it's just that my opinions sometimes trigger people who are out of touch with canon. just like in the marauders fandom, (although, to a much lesser extent) this fandom suffers from Warping The Character Beyond Recognition Syndrome (tm) 🙄

i think a reason why my opinions differ from those of a usual tomarrymort enjoyer is because i like voldemort more than harry.

i know this fandom usually loves harry more than voldemort, so, obviously, voldemort is usually depicted as grovelling for harry which Pisses Me OFF he would NOT grovel for harry what are you people on? 😭

harry is just inflated as being this super special character that voldemort would be suuuper interested in, which i find hard to believe. (in timetravel aus and such.)

i hate the way this fandom treats bellatrix. like, they make fun of bellamort as if tomarrymort doesn't give off the biggest crackship vibes, like brother sit tf down, cause i know You ain't talking.

i hate the character this fandom has warped voldemort into, it's actually sad. he's treated like a freaking clown/a big joke, and i Know fandom isn't that serious, but i just want to see a nuanced, interesting voldemort that has a personality outside of being obsessed with harry.

this fandom can't understand that voldemort has relationships outside harry potter. he is like 50+ years his senior, of course he wouldn't just be an angsty, brooding man waiting to bang harry 😒.

which brings me to my next point. this fandom has such atrocious takeways from canon, it actually hurts. they think voldemort would be obsessed with harry in every timeline, which.... is just not true. without the prophecy, harry is just truly Some Guy who voldemort wouldn't take notice of.

voldemort isn't ever canonically obsessed with anyone in a romantic way. he's trying to kill harry. there's a big difference. voldemort is the type of person to eliminate a threat, no matter what. he isn't suddenly going to be interested in harry because.. *checks notes* oh.. right, he's sarcastic! and.. and witty! and is defiant! sorry this is deranged, i'm just really annoyed.

people saying tomarrymort is peak enemies to lovers grinds my gears because it's not. yes, they are enemies in the sense that they stand on the opposing sides of ideologies and yes, voldemort killed his parents. but that doesn't make harry a worthy enough opponent to be called the Enemy of voldemort. harry's a child soldier. that title is solely reserved for firstly, voldemort himself, and secondly, dumbledore.

i don't know why it's such an unpopular thing to not like harry? i like harry, but not to the same extent as i like voldemort and a lot of people seem to have a problem with that? yeah, that could also be a reason why i'm a polarizing figure XD

also, some people are like, "it's the passion that makes it exciting! the line between love and hate can blur!" for who?? the teenager that made you lose EVERYTHING for 13 YEARS?? oh helllll naahhhhh imma pass, voldemort is Not having that line blurred thankyouverymuch.

if i could keep talking about this, i wouldn't ever stop, the fanon takes are so bad, i'm pretty sure i have half the fandom blocked lol. but yeah, no drama, just me being annoyed and having illiterate people harrassing me via anon asks.

this ask made my day ily 💕💕

[mangopit]

20 Writer Questions

ty @littlefirefox for the tag!! nice seeing the other folks you tagged too, fandom runs deep fr haha <3

1. Total number of AO3 works?

34! i haven't uploaded in so long ouurgh

2. Total AO3 word count?

103,336 :o

3. Fandoms I’ve written in?

oh boy, tons. and im too shy to talk abt a lot of them on my main blog lol, but throughout my life i've written for a lot of youtubers, bbc sherlock, rotbtd, atla, tlok, american idol, some disney shows, an anime, live streamers, musicians...

4. Top 5 Fics by Kudos

dhjdjhs again im too shy to list em directly, they're all rpf >:'D # of kudos: 519, 377, 341, 314, 305

5. Do I️ respond to Comments?

yes, i try to reply to all of them! tho i need to look at my inbox and check that i haven't missed any recent ones :')

6. What has the angstiest ending?

hmmMm on ao3 i have a drabble that ends in perceived unrequited love but i think my actual angstiest published story ends with 2 former best friends finally choosing to part ways. offline, i have stories that end in major character death 😬

7. What has the happiest ending?

oh! a delightful question! i think the one where the soulmates figure their shit out and finally confess their feelings for each other feels like the most triumphant ending that i can remember writing :)

8. Have I️ received hate?

not for my writing. i've received unwarranted constructive criticism before tho.

9. Do I️ write smut? And what kind?

yes sometimes but i've never posted it online 👁👁 and idk "what kind" means... gay i guess???? loll

10. Do I️ write crossovers?

yes! i don't think i've posted anything online but rise of the brave tangled dragons is one of my longest loves.

11. Have I️ ever had a fic stolen?

not that i know of 😳

12. Have I️ ever had a fic translated?

no but i would be honored if anyone offered! :')

13. Have I️ ever co-written a fic?

i've initiated "finish the fic"s before, but i've never co-written a fic in the traditional sense.

14. What is my all-time favorite ship?

OH hmmm idk if i have one. maybe sh****** just bc of how long and intense my obsession was for it lol

15. A WIP I️’ll never finish?

i have a bbc sherlock fic that was well-received but i just can't imagine finishing it bc my writing has changed so much, i never had a direction for the story, and i don't really like how i wrote the characters.

16. Writing Strengths?

i'm good at eavesdropping on imaginary conversations between people who exist solely in my head so i think im good at whipping out dialogue, lol. i also pride myself on writing realistic, complex emotions and digging into the deeper, more hidden thoughts of characters.

17. Writing Weaknesses?

i think i get so excited about writing my favorite bits i have planned that i rush the pacing of my stories or i force plotpoints that don't make too much sense and can probably be cut. i've been trying to combat that by indulging in the first draft—letting myself write all the exciting, wild ideas i have first before revising and fine-tuning the story to my standards!

18. Do I️ like foreign language dialogue?

yes? no opinion? i don't think i understand this question.

19. First Fandom I️ wrote for?

i think it was american idol >:)

20. Favorite fic Ive written?

wahhh like lynn i find it super hard to choose bc my writing is such a reflection of my interests and general mindset at the time! plus i still love my most busted writing bc i have such a warm appreciation for who i was and how i've improved. buuuuut for whatever reason i'm very proud of this one friends to lovers fic on my ao3 that's set during the wintertime~ i think i was able to get the pacing just right, emotionally and plotwise, and everything just makes sense, and the ending is so satisfying. it's a very solid fic for when i wrote it, and i am very happy to write a simply solid fic :)

thanks again lynn for the tag!! tagging: @farklelucas @26velociraptors if you want + any other ficwriters who would like to do this! (lol gretchen i can't even remember if you post on ao3 ermm)

[gerandor]

THANK YOU FOR THE ANSWER <33

i asked you this bc i needed it for a project, and you've answered it with something that would never cross my mind, thank you!

also i read your tags and it says that you wrote a thesis on lalo's character??? im really interested to read your thoughts about him, that is if you don't mind posting lol.

once again, thanks a lot!

Ok fair warning first; I'm really bad at putting my thoughts into words, so while this makes a lot of sense in my head, it may not do so here, so apologies in advance! Also i'm pretty sure others don't see lalo in this way and i'm just really weird like this; no need to fight me on this, i know, trust me!

When i think about lalo’s character, that one thing that stands out to me, is how distanced he is from a logical and rational thinking process. 

Lalo, to me, seems like someone who’d boast about their gut instincts, to the point they’d find no use for logical thinking because their instincts are always right (but we know for a fact that they’re not). Lalo has lived a privileged life in the cartel; he’s basically cartel royalty in a sense, and his charms, money and the Salamanca name have taken him anywhere he wanted to go. He is vastly different from a character like nacho, who has always been in a disadvantaged position and had to think on his feet as each step put him in yet another dangerous situation. 

I think the driving force behind Lalo’s character, that one thing that really makes Lalo who he is and informs his decisions and the things he does, is his skepticism and distrustful nature, which is btw not based on facts and evidence, but on the principle that everyone’s lying and everything's a lie unless proven otherwise. And so, when forced to re-evaluate his assumptions, he will either go to extreme lengths (bc he NEEDS to be right about this, goddammit) or he will just drop it if that need simply isn’t there. 

For the first case, just look at his whole business with fring. Lalo had no evidence to distrust fring. But he did it on the principle of distrusting everyone unless they proved to be trustworthy. I know people would just say lalo was so smart to “figure out” fring was behind the attack, but the truth is lalo had no evidence, so there really wasn’t any figuring out. He just arrived at that conclusion because he had this idea in his head that fring is behind everything. If there was any figuring out process involved in lalo’s head, he’d have figured out nacho as well. But he didn’t. Nacho had completely blindsided him bc lalo had decided not to distrust him on principle (why? What was about nacho that lalo liked so much to let go of his distrustful nature? God, these two.)

Also he thought he has no use for evidence until hector told him that he actually does. And remember how enraged he was that he had to go find evidence now? Why couldn’t things be simple? lol

For the second case, let's look at the jimmy incident. Even though I knew jimmy was lying, i was still baffled that Lalo thought he was lying. Bc to me, he wasn’t being rational. Being rational was how kim put things into perspective for him. Lalo was just being distrustful on principle. He didn’t have any proof and his way of thinking didn’t make sense. If he thought it was Fring who put him in prison and it was also him who attacked jimmy to steal the bail, (bc again, fring is behind everything, according to lalo) then how the hell did jimmy survive the attack and come back with the money? 

So yeah. I think what makes lalo’s character so interesting (and also a kind of antithesis to nacho) is how he fools everyone into thinking he’s so smart, but what’s really happening is that his decisions don’t really follow any logical thinking and piecing together clues and figuring things out. He just goes by his gut instincts and when he gets this idea in his head that someone’s the enemy, he becomes unhealthily obsessed. And when he decides someone’s trustworthy? 

Just look what happened with Nacho. 

[astranva]

Okay so I read the shit out of your planet evans fic and here are few things I want to say if you don’t mind:

GURL WOW. LIKE YOU DID THAT. YOU ATE THAT SHIT UP SOOOO GOOOD OMFG THIS IS THE BEST THING IVE EVER READ AND YALL CAN COUNT ME IN AS PE!READERS NUMBER 1 FAN. FUCK CHRIS EVANS.

Lol sorry but literally so we’ll written. I love how pe!reader is such an complex character, like she has such an interesting depth. Her past and her work ethic makes her more than just an actress in the industry, she is literally a role model and wants to pave the way for all the young girls. I also love how she show that she actually went to therapy ( Chris hon yes this is for you it’s never too late to go to therapy) by her anders and how she handles things. Like in that fic scared? I guess when they were fighting she didn’t jump him and did nasty things no the bitch wanted to talk it out and be adults. This is so relieving to read bc not everything is about sex in life. Like sometimes people want to be heard or there are people that would gladly listen to you, it’s about finding those right people.

Im also obsessed with pe!readers style sooo much. It’s giving very much ‘yes I have money and I use it like how it should’ and I love that. I also see her wear a dress one of her fans drew for her on a red carpet bc my girl would totally do that and support us girlies. Pe!reader would totally go to war for her fans and interact with them as much as she could ( cuz I imagine doing the same when I’m a celebrity lol🤭) but yeah.

My girl is also a directorrrrr heyyyy I love that so fucking much. Lady Bird is my baby and the fact she directed nova you get extra point for that.

I also went trough the tags and I ADORE you for not giving pe!reader a faceclaim. Like iconic behavior idc. BUT I saw that most of your babes are claiming Hande Ercel as the faceclaim and YOU GIRLS HAVE TASTEEEE. I met her once when she came to Dubai bc she was the ambassador for a jewelry line and her face was on the burj Khalifa. ICONICCCC sis she is so prettier in real life I wanted to squeeze her so bad but I can’t afford a lawsuit so I sticked with the hug lol but anyways y’all did your research bc Hande Ercel is pe!reader energy.

Sorry for this lil rant but I felt like I owed this to you after I read the shit out of your fics. And the reason I didn’t like them is bc you said you hated spam likes so I’m trying to respect you and I will start reblogging them once I got this whole tumblr shit figured out cuz your girl is starting over.

So yea btw you’re my bestie now and idc what anyone else says

you’re so sweet for that feedback 🥹

i’m very very happy that you’re enjoying the fic and pe!reader, she’s my baby 🫶 i hope you stick around with us!

aw you’re not the first to say they’ve met hands and that she was sweet. makes me happy because a lot of times my anons want to see her as a face claim and i like giving them that every once in a while 🫶

thank you for not spam liking!!!!!!!

ofc xxx

[mydemonsdrivealimo]

5, 7, 16, 18

OFC for Bryce & Jensen, but feel free to tell me about Kennedy, too.

And answer this one MF. lol JK JK

thanks for the ask lol (i think ill save kennedys for another time as im currently working more on their character)

5. How did you figure out your oc's identity?

none of my characters are cis/straight so for me its just a matter of figuring out What they are, not If they are. jensens was pretty easy to figure out ngl bc he has a very similar standpoint as i do. i gave him a label coming into the fandom, but as time has gone on i realized that he is just not a person for labels and just prefers to Be (like myself). his aspec identity took a little longer just bc i was trying to write him as allo and shocker i failed, so after admitting that maybe he wasnt the rest just fell into place

okay and bryces i knew since like,, book 2. i came into the fandom everyone and their mother was having a fit that bryce wasnt proposing to mc by book 1 but like,, did we ever consider that that was for a reason? maybe the fact that he took 3 books to even want a relationship had something to do with him being demiro? (but no, ofc not, bc god forbid we expect the allos and straights to willingly admit that characters might be aspec). n e ways hes so obviously demiro and to see that erased may hurt my aspec self a little but thats fine :') as far as him being pan, he will just flirt with anyone and everyone all the time and it is a threat. he doesnt give two fucks about gender, if he vibes w someone, he's interested, and thats been clear since day one

7. Is there something that could cause your oc to question their identity? What?

not really, no. jensen is still,, iffy on gender (its so hard for him to explain like he doesnt really relate to the idea of being a man but masculinity is fine but he doesnt quite feel androgenous or anything Else enough to go by they/them pronouns--its just a lot for him lol) so thats something that he def questions a lot. but as far as sexuality, hes perfectly comfortable going by queer/grayace and thats what feels right to him. same for bryce, hes comfortable and confident in his identities, so nothing would really make him question it

16. Did you ever change an oc's identity when they were already established? Why?

yes ofc bc they develop and evolve like actual people, not just stagnant character sheets. jensen wasnt aspec originally, nor did he go by queer. i changed it bc, as i got to understand and know this version of him better, i realized he 1. wasnt allo lol but 2. wouldn't have been too keen on labels, either

18. Do you prefer to give your ocs specific labels, or keep it unspecified? Why? If applicable, do you change their labels depending on circumstance?

it depends honestly. i think choices fandom (and people in general) is overly obsessed w character sexuality labels (considering how many straight creators there are and how few queer creators there are). honestly i wouldve loved to leave jensen label-less/unspecified because realistically i think thats just how he is (even if people ask, even about his aspec identity, he'll just say queer bc he doesnt really care), but coming into the fandom, that didnt really feel like an option. and for characters like bryce, im happy to label him because i feel that its an important part of his character, not just in my hc but should be important in all hcs. im happy to label him bc, not only do i find it important as an aspec person to see that aspec representation (considering that nearly everyone in this fandom would cry if they had to actually accept that characters in relationships can still be aspec--especially confirmed aspec characters, but thats for another time), but i also think its just a huge part of his character and something he would be really proud of

[khodorkovskaya]

15.06.23

so today was eventful and uneventful at the same time. i had my lesson with lucien this morning, then went to the library, then there was the q&a session with the differential geometry assistant, then i went back to the library. so i was quite productive but it didn't really feel like it.

i started watching the new video lauren southern put out about her divorce. and likeee. she's so cringe idk. youtube's been forcing tradwife content on me lately. like i think it started with me watching fashion shorts, then i started getting a bunch of those like "dark femininity" and "old money aesthetic" videos and now it's straight up "here's how i became a traditional wife". like im so glad im not an impressionable teenager anymore. because imagine. like back in the day we had our fair share of brain rotting anti-sjw content but nowadays it's even worse.

but anyway, back to lauren southern. she's so stupid! like idk if it's her neurodivergency or what. and i want to be empathetic. but like. the decisions she's made and still makes like. girlie.

it's funny bc i skimmed thru a video essay the other day about like tumblr culture and microlabels and mogai and stuff like that. and it wasn't a super interesting video bc being on tumblr you kind of absorb all of this information against your will lol. but the person was saying that basically a lot of neurodivergent teenage girls found those microlabels and various neo gender identities comforting. because a lot of neurodivergent people feel the need to like organise everything into categories and assort and classify everything in their brains. and when the video essay author said that i was like oof i feel that so deeply. like my whole personality basically consists of lists and categories i feel very strongly about for no logical reason. everything i like or identify as has to be sorted and classified into "favourites" and "hate lists" and different levels and ranks and stuff. so i do think that if i grew up even more chronically online than i did, i could've definitely been some kind of surrealgenderkin neopronouns weirdo.

and i was thinking about that and how growing up with this kind of weirdly wired brain was very strange. because i could never like something in moderation, no, i always had to be obsessed. and i couldn't just be obsessed, there were always some kind of rules i had to follow. i had to classify my obsession, study it deeply and behave accordingly. i had to absorb it all and become my obsession.

and the funny thing about this, is that no matter how consumed id always felt by my obsessions, it was all very surface level. it felt like trying on an intricately made beautifully detailed costume, but a costume nevertheless. like when i went thru that lizzy-grant-i-like-older-men phase, it was never about actually liking older men or actually being attracted to them or actually believing that it was natural to be attracted to older men, or whatever bullshit i would say. it was about being consumed by the aesthetic of it, all while convincing myself that if i pretend and fit in hard enough into the cage i had once again forced upon myself, this lifestyle will finally make me feel at peace. and every time i would try on a different belief system, a different political point of view, etc, i would just try to follow the rules of it and force the dogmas of it onto myself, without digging deeper or asking myself why and if i actually liked the thing i was obsessed with.

like it's weird and it's illogical. but ive always perceived the world as something that comes upon you from the outside that you have to get used to. meanwhile in reality, your opinions, desires and beliefs come from within you. and ive only figured that out literally this year.

so i remember being a teen, struggling with trying to find peace with transitioning into a young woman, trying on different belief systems, convincing myself that one of them has to hold the truth. but it was the wrong way to look to begin with! you have to find your values first and then see if maybe they align with anyone else's. not the other way around! it sounds stupid when i say that, but when all you've been doing your whole life is classifying things and sorting all of your interests into boxes, you don't ever realise that your thoughts can come from within! you feel like an empty vessel, needing to be filled with obsessions from the outside world. but those obsessions will never make you feel at peace because you have to produce your own thoughts and beliefs and have your own values. and that concept is still very hard for me to grasp.

so now this is where i see the problem with lauren southern. i feel like she too was in the same scenario with her failed marriage. as a young woman she became an anti-sjw activist and then pushed herself further and further to the right, all while having the most basic and surface-level understanding of it. she followed all the steps laid out for her by the ideology she chose: be catholic, marry a man, have a child, be a housewife. and shocker! those weren't her values to begin with. so she became unhappy.

and there's something so relatable about that. like i remember being obsessed with B, the same way id be obsessed with anything. i pushed this obsession on myself and then tried to convince myself that it was for me, all while staying superficial, never questioning my choices or values. why did i like B? why was B a good fit for me? why did i have to be with him? i don't know, i just had to. it was some supernatural force i guess, convincing me that i had to follow those rules in my brain in order to be happy. but why? i never asked myself the question.

and now lauren is like "i married the guy bc he promised me i could be a housewife and he was catholic and traditional". like you see how superficial that is? it's literally the same story as collecting microlabels like pokemon bc your neurodivergent brain finds it satisfying. like catholic man? check. traditional catholic man? check. housewife status with traditional catholic man? check. baby with traditional catholic man? check. but now what's next? what's the essence of it all? why did you convince yourself that this was good for you? do you even know why you believe what you claim to believe? it's all for aesthetics and obsessive compartmentalisation.

anyway, i didn't watch the whole video because it's like an hour+ long and i have shit to do. but i did watch a bit of lana lokteff's reaction to it. and god she's such a vile woman. like as soon as i saw the thumbnail of her video in the recommended bar i had a vomit reflex lol. but in her video she was basically scolding lauren for making bad choices and not thinking things through, all while saying how marriage is so much deeper than what meets the eye and marriage is great basically. and yeah, you can't argue with that. marriage isn't just some life trophy to collect, it's a whole thing. but does the altright ever explain that to women? are those tradwives making tiktoks showing what marriage actually is? all rightwing women hear is "get married, have kids, it's great" and that's it. and if your understanding of the world is flawed because of the weird mechanics of your brain, you're gonna understand just that. and marry the first catholic man you meet like lauren southern. and be unhappy because you were never taught to question why.

[lesbenson]

lovely ali @fairydyke-mothr tagged me to post 5 things i can't stop writing <3 i am not much of a writer beyond fics aka half formed fic ideas so this list will be a lil messy. i have the most stuff for ted lasso and svu but ill focus on svu here LOL

1. toxic WASTE eo like love confessions buried in the nastiest arguments ever. im sorry i just love mess. similarly, someone saying i love you and being hit with like "no you dont. die" or "i wish i didnt" also eo as the soulmates who should never have met ive blown apart my life for you and eo from every outside view being the two most infuriating people ever (as explained by kathy stabler to barba, and amanda to liv and to elliot). eo who became a swirling black hole that took everyone with them. i think its easier for me to write eo from like other character povs bc i didnt originally watch the eo seasons so theres always an element of like. ghostly entity elliot stabler coloring my perception of him And i find their dynamic really hard to put into words in like. an interesting way. theyre just insane idk

2. the olivia bensonism of right where you left me and her constant fear of being left behind + her pushing people away + single most important person in my life and you just disappeared i have a few different "i cant do this" lines written and this last ep has obviously only made me worse

i also have elliot getting offered a transfer back to rome and in a moment of pure insanity telling liv he'll do whatever she asks him to. and because shes Her she tells him to leave and hes like okay ? and shes like i am obviously lying what is wrong with you.

a lot of sad liv internal monologues about how she misses elliot every moment that shes with him

3. the girls are fightiiing my list of conversations amanda and liv have never had and my ongoing list of out of pocket things liv has said or done to amanda <3 mess ! and a random fight about kim that leads to kissing lol

also a list of random thoughts about liv and amanda when i was first figuring out their dynamic like "real canon compliant rollivia means fighting and miscommunication"

4. amanda taking eo matters into her own hands. she talks to stabler. a lot. and she yells at liv for not making a move after she finds out about the intervention. more on this as it develops.

5. girl. grief and parental trauma ! the mother wound chile ! olivia bensons slight obsessive jealous homoerotic hatred of other women in non professional settings ! this became a note about how she separates everyone she meets into a kathy stabler or a serena benson and uses that to inform her feelings towards them

uhhhh if anyone wants more of any of these lmk?

tagging @o6666666 @heinouslydedicated @hargiloni @electricnachos @katiecotugno

[babygorewhore]

Hey idk if you're still doing the 'tell me about yourself and I'll ship you with an evan thing' so ignore this if you don't wanna do any more but ty if you do!

I'm non binary, I use all pronouns in my every day life cause I'm from a non-English speaking country, but I prefer they/them the most, im queer sexuality wise, i want top surgery more than anything else rn, I'm currently OBSESSED with across the spiderverse, I love video games, nostalgic shit (I just got a DVD of the first few episodes of a childhood show of mine lol), manga, comics, fashion designing (hoping to make it a career!), lego, makeup, plushies and musicals! (So you like show tunes, doesn't mean you're gay, it just means you're awful. I watched all seasons of glee... I hate myself. /j) Oh and cats. I love cats. Specifically hairless ones and cheetahs. (THEY COUNT IDC).

I have short (pixie cut) super dark brown hair that I usually dye blonde or other colors, I have greenish-brownish eyes, and no piercings cause I'm a wimp and to add to the wimpiness I am 5'3 (most of my friends are taller than me I am in HELL). I like to dress in all sorts of clothing, androgynous, masculine, feminine, y2k, goth, pastel. When I'm in fem clothing I either dress in like an elegant goth, cute pastel stuff with mostly green, pink or orange, but whatever I wear the earrings always have to be Giant. In my every day life though most of my clothing is fun T shirts, long sweat pants or shorts and a hoodie. Oh and sandels. Lots and lots of sandels. I love winter because I get to wear all my favorite hoodies, and get to snuggle up in my bed eating soup while watching some dumb Christmas movie no one wanted to see but Netflix made cause money.

I have ADHD and generalized anxiety disorder and currently trying to figure out with my psychiatrist what else I have. I'm a very sensitive person but I usually mask so if I'm hurt I will not show it, but I'm also very petty and spiteful? I don't act on it though. I'm a morning eagle AND a night owl, I'm just a ball of chaotic energy that doesn't die, I AM HELLFIRE INCARNET! BOW BEFORE- coffee? We dont know her. I try to be funny? My friends think I'm funny but idk. You tell me.

Again tysm if you do this and have a nice day!

FUCK YEAH I AM BABY.

OKAY!!!!! SO I TOTALLY SHIP YOU WITH KYLE SPENCER!

Okay bet. So Kyle here would absolutely love your interests and he would absolutely LOVE MUSICALS. I feel like people wouldn’t think so because he’s a frat boy but he totally would.

He would be really supportive in your expression of style and he would love having a non binary partner! I feel like he’s extremely accepting.

He would have such respect for you for sticking to your authentic style and oml…HE WOULD LET YOU BORROW HIS HOODIES!!!! He would love how they hang on you he would find it so cute!!!

He would love to see you design for your fashion and even give you a little fashion show of all his fits! I feel like he also has a lot of energy that he’s dying to show. He would love to stay up late for you so much.

And he’s very sweet so since you’re a sensitive person, he would be very protective of you and give you lots of kisses if you unmasked! WE LOVE OUR BLONDE ANGEL BABY KYLE!!!

[ifidiedinadream]

"reminder that there's no tmi on this blog"

lmao okay. I wanted to send this non-anon but chickened out. nevermind let's go, if you can be off anon talking about this, so can I.

so i'm on-off antidepressants (for doctor reasons and stuff), and I noticed that during the times I'm on my meds, especially when the dose gets higher, The Thoughts TM pretty much more or less disappear, like I don't wake up distracted thinking Thoughts, the daydreaming is still 90% of my day like usual but there's rarely any 18+ thoughts and even if there are, they're on the very sweet and soft side only, and reading explicit fics is... different. Like, it's still fun because it's fanfiction and I enjoy reading fanfiction, especially if there's feelings between the characters to explore, but it's... idk. Tamed down? Like eating a meal you like but it was made differently or with less spices or whatever and you still like it but the sensations you experience are... lower? idk if I'm making sense, it does make sense in my head but putting it in words is difficult.

Anyway, the point I was getting to is that while the meds only mildly help really, I don't want to stop taking them because.. I figured out I actually prefer feeling this way. Hold on, my cat's on my keyboard. first she steals my water from my glass and puts her nose in too deep and sneezes in it so I have to get a new one, now she sabotages my unstructured whatever this is. Anyway, where was I. Ah yes, I really prefer being in this kind of.. ugh I'll just call it vastly lowered sex drive state; because usually, I feel kind of bad or uncomfortable with what I've been thinking/fantasising about, and I KNOW that fantasy =/= what you actually want, but idk. When I've finished daydreaming or whatever you wanna call it, I mostly feel weird and like I've wasted time and also like I should never ever tell anyone about that so... giulia and her anons for the sex ed is maybe a good starting point to getting okay with it? then again, if I were to stay on those meds forever and these effects kept up forever, I wouldn't mind at all.

I know that that's a side effect that bothers many people when they start anti-depressants but yeah. Between all the other side effects I could absolutely do without, this is one I really don't want to let go of again.

Why did I tell you all that? Idk, it's just something I've noticed and that I've been wondering about and you've well established there's no tmi on your blog and maybe someone else has had a similar experience who also wondered about it.

good night ✨

hey jess!! you explained yourself perfectly and it all makes sense, don't worry 😌 this is such an interesting perspective!

for me it's... honestly im pretty bummed that my sexual fantasies aren't doing much for me at the moment (today i did wake up to a new fantasy though so i see it as a good sign, i also started my period today so maybe it's the reason?? who knows), im dealing with heartbreak and i was relying on my fantasies to help me cope but it isn't happening. and im always so damn bored. im not a person who's bored often because of my band obsessions and sexual fantasies about the members but now?? i feel so hollow lol like i always have to actively find something to do when it's not something i usually need to do

i understand how you can experience daydreaming like a waste of time. when i worked it got in the way of my job (not majorly but i struggled) but even then, if i didn't have a fantasy to unwind to in the evening i would go insane. i feel like my daydreaming (sexual in nature, mostly, sometimes i get soft fantasies too but it's mostly when im stressed or anxious) is a major part of my life and im used to living in my head 24/7 so if it was tore away from me what would i do? who would i be?

should i seek help? probably, but this is literally the last of my symptoms i need treated 😂 guess what im trying to say is i struggle to share your point of view because of how im built but i think it's 100% valid and if you find you have more time on your hands right now (because you don't waste it feeling guilty afterwards) then im super happy for you!! thankfully i don't deal with that kind of guilt but i do struggle with feeling like i should be doing something more "adult-like" at almost 28, but at the same time i know it's stupid and people daydream until they die anyway

sorry if it turned into a personal rant 😅 i don't think i could live on soft/vanilla fantasies only because i don't get enough of them for the usual amount of daydreaming i need in order to function but if you feel more comfortable with yourself like this, then amazing!! 💕 on this blog we support whatever fantasies you prefer if it grants you a peaceful inner life and the coping with the real world you need!

[notproofread]

so i finished a court of wings an ruin pt.2

let us talk about the men... even though i don't really want to talk about them. for the most part they really disappointed me lol

Tamlin

tamlin is.... trying to be better (at least in the beginning) i guess but there will be no way that he will actually heal & get to move on if not only feyre but lucien as well betray him, use him, destroy him & his court

I was very much interested to see where the story leads him though I had no actual hopes for him to get a redemption arc (which he deserves, I stand by that point argue with the wall)

then he was not trying to do better anymore but now I think he is fully leaning into the villain role which FINALLY gives him the edge that has been missing

because now i see and feel that he has turned his back to prythian because he has really lost EVERYTHING that had importance to him (feyre, lucien, his court, ...). now we can make a good villain out of him, you know?

....

.......

..........

.............

make up your mind tamlin god fucking damn it, im getting tired of your back and forth DO YOU WANT TO SEE THE WOLRD BURN OR DO YOU NOT YOU ARE WORSE THAN ME AND I AM A SUN LIBRA MOON GEMINI

also sorry but how tf did he survive until the end my mans should have died or been killed on so many occasions bruh

Lucien

see this is what I was hoping for after the first and second book, lucien is so cool & such an interesting character especially considering his (still kinda unexplored) backstory

•so WHY is his ONLY character trait now elain??? please there is so much more to him, give me literally anything else

the descriptions of him fitting into the surroundings of the autumn court are so amazing though I am literally in love

i think its cool how he gets to work with the people at the night court and i hope he gets to work more with azriel and maybe rhys especially with things about autumn and spring court

also loved to see his inner feelings regarding elain and jasminda!! that was such a nice detail to show that he is falling (hard) for elain but still feels guilt about his first love (still annoying though)

... great, written off to go find a human queen... guess thats one way to get rid of a character... could've just killed him if you didn't need him bye

Rhysand

rhysand ... why fuck first talk later? war is coming my dude you can get your dick wet later, after you have heard news and planned accordingly???? Im disappointed 100% ew

but nooooo, instead we get this weird horny political talk... am I supposed to enjoy this?

apart from that he was kinda boring

unfiltered thoughts after he "died": i CANT BELIVE CAN NOT BELIEVE that he died AND THEN WAS RESURRECTED THE SAME WAY FEYRE WAS bro that was the most unnecessary scene i have ever read why make me go through all that tension (again bc it happened with feyre before) just to make him come back to life this is so shit i don't know wether to laugh or cry

but tbh i didnt believe for 1 second that he was actually dead, im sorry but there was no way SJM would have the balls to kill of Rhys lol

Tarquin

unrelated but I miss Tarquin he was cool I have a crush on him <3

he is way too good for the other high lords, i'd rather read about him

Cassian

eh... boring at best, annoying at his worst.

bro what the hell why are you so fucking obsessed with nesta YOU DONT EVEN KNOW HER and clearly she is trying to avoid you take a hint (no that is not romantic its creepy and annoying)

like "no means no" also applies to fae or other magical beings leave her A L O N E

he was so cool in the first book but this time it also feels like his only remaining character trait is nesta (giving very much lucien and i hate it) and maybe a bit of fighting/training stuff

Azriel

stays true to his character (at least in the beginning...)

if feyre is going to butt into his love life more I am going to riot, leave the man alone!

only one who actually pays actual attention to elain (yes, not even lucien does this as well as az) & figures her powers out first

also love how he is obv in love with mor but is neither making this his only character trait (looking @ you cassian & lucien) nor doing everything for her. he is NOT changing but staying true to his self i hope this stays the same

......

..........

...............

ah nevermind he just tried to suffocate eris... honestly though I get the like pride & protect my family stuff but arent all of them a bit too easily riled up? all high lords & courts are assholes after all, you guys included. you should know this by now

slay for saving elain

Jurian

now what is this?

wha- why does SJM want to give everyone a redemption so bad (except for tamlin ofc we been knew)

am i really supposed to believe that Jurian has reached clarity after witnessing everything through Amarantha? it was so such a good concept, having a human turn insane and helping those he despised

and (even if its a bad example) would have showed that humans and fae CAN work together after all

all men do is lie. only tarquin slays. bye.

[somethincreates]

tysm for telling me about your tumblr. i didn't realize u had one for some reason. i am so happy to see your art! your look and style is so distinct and it makes me happy. i really really really love your drawings of shenhe and yanfei. yanfei is actually my fav genshin character and that expression you drew on her is so silly, i can't stop giggling. i don't even care for march too much, but i think you captured her essence so well in that sketch that i feel like i might fall in love. it's too adorable

i stopped playing genshin ages ago, so i have no idea who a lot of these b-words are, but i like the drawings you did of the one with the eyeballs!

i was thinking again about one of the notes you put in the work of the kafstel shorts-about how you wrote about small sizes contrary to what people might expect to see in explicit works like this (with humiliation or whatever) and i really like that you handled it like that because it's sooo wholesome and heartwarming! i am so unhealthily obsessed with kafstel and i might be repeating myself with my other comment, but i really feel like you captured them so well and it feels so real... they were made for each other... they truly are each other's destinies and perfect for one another and it makes me so happy

your creative wonder has haunted my mind and i am so grateful for it- because it makes me feel comforted, cozy, and proud to know that someone like you exists out there. i even ended up pulling out my tablet and doing a little sketch of stelle because of you. fair warning, it is nsfw, but it's nothing detailed or over-thetop because i'm too simple. i just wanted to depict stelle with a lil peen bc i think it's adorable... SHE is adorable and all people should feel no shame or insecurities about their looks or bodies. though... i dont rlly have any experience drawing peens (or genitalia at all LOL!) i really think i could've gone smaller.... oh well, it's really nothing special, but you can see it if you go to imgur and add /a/IzUJroq to the end of the website url

you don't have to reply or acknowledge this message at all (especially if you don't want the nsfw image to be associated with your blog) it's completely fine and understandable to me. im just happy to have had a reason to interact again

thank you again for sharing your works!

I don't really advertise my tumblr as I haven't really done much with this blog yet. I only have it listed on my AO3 bio and that's it. I figured I make it a special place for those that care to see my art or potential drabbles I'd write. Also, Yanfei liker, truly goated.

To ramble on with an anecdote, I wrote Small Packages with the idea in mind of that size to show how in a loving sort of relationship, especially one destined to be, size is irrelevant to an extent. Being literally made for each other is such a lovely romantic idea. Perfect for KafStel.

I had the idea for making Stelle have small size because I noticed there wasn't any fics, art, or anything else that depicted small sizes in a positive light. At least not as much as packing major heat does. For anything that is, not just for Stelle. Even fairly middle of the road sizes don't get a lot of things made for them. I get why as it's a fantasy so going big with anything is expected. Like height, breast size, or powers, etc. It's not inherently bad and I see nothing wrong with it, I just noticed how there wasn't a lot or moderate amount of small penis fics/art/ect out there that wasn't humiliation in some way.

Nothing against humiliation play, just not my thing. At least not the more aggressive forms of it.

This goes into my creation process. When I notice there isn't a lot of something that I find interest in, I want to make it. Thusly, not a lot of small penis appreciation, not a lot of Stelle being top, not a lot of wholesome and heartwarming smut, therefore I made Small Packages. Big things come in them after all. This was the case at the time of planning and writing, that is.

Typically that's how it goes. I see a lack of something I want to see then I make it so it exists out there. Pretty much the majority of my fics and art are made because I couldn't find it elsewhere and wanted it to exist. The file name I make my art on is called "Ideas to manifest" for a reason.

Anyway, thank you for the kind words. I'm glad that you drew somethin'. Stelle has such a cute expression. Love it a whole lot. The soft linework is somethin' I struggle with so seeing it is always a treat. It looks like it feel nice to run my fingers on. As in on a sheet of paper.

The manifesting is working.

I haven't a problem being associated with anything NSFW on this blog, given I write it so it's already associated with me. I have made NSFW art as it's part of how I plan my fics but never posted them. They're all super rough and not meant to be looked at that way. Like rough drafts are for the creative, not the audience.

Rambling again. Thank you so much for the ask, art, and read. It means a whole lot to me.