#im on mobile trying to make stuff nice... send help
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sif-is-stardust · 11 months ago
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𓏼
  ˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚
{ SIFFRIN'S BIO }
˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚
╰┈➤.⤷ Fictive from In Stars and Time
╰┈➤.⤷ Bodily 21
╰┈➤.⤷ He/they pronouns
╰┈➤.⤷ Traumagenic system
╰┈➤.⤷ Endo friendly/safe
╰┈➤.⤷ Under 18 please don't PM
╰┈➤.⤷ Radqueer/pro-ship DNI
╰┈➤.⤷ Sideblog, main is @solitary-snails
╰┈➤.⤷ PFP Art is from @bogkeep
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espiritumalicioso · 18 days ago
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OKAY!!
So, as a lot of you know already I just got top surgery like, 2 days ago! (Super cool and awesome :) )
But im going to make a post abt how the process went in case any of you are thinking about it or just want to know what goes on, so here's the immediate after-surgery info:
First off, my surgery was at 8 am, and I arrived at 7am. ALL my nurses and my surgeon were *so* sweet. I came out to this little recovery nook, they told me to change into the lil gown and piss in a cup, then laid me down on a lil bed. They started me on an IV (just saline), gave me a heated blanket and little leg massagers to keep my circulation good.
Then they let my partner back with me, most of the nurses introduced themselves and checked a dozen times to make sure I was the right patient with the right surgery lol
Then we waited for about an hour! My surgeon came out and started drawing on my chest (which was *very* awkward, considering there were like 4 nurses and my partner and the surgeon), and pretty much the moment he was done they whisked me away to the OR
I was laid down and they hooked my IV to a syringe that "was going to make me feel like I drank 5 margaritas at once" (spoiler alert- it did)
Then I woke up in the recovery room! Its a little hazy from here, but they gave me a protein shake and helped me into the car, and we went back to the hotel room for the night.
(i was in and out of consciousness for a little bit after that)
In all honesty, the worst pain was more from the air tube in my throat! My chest was sore as shit, don't get me wrong, but it hurt more to talk than anything else. I took my meds, put on a movie, and passed out again immediately
By around 5-6, though, I was ready to be OUT. I was very surprisingly mobile considering I'd gotten a major surgery 10hrs beforehand, so me and my partner went to the grocery store to get snacks + protein drinks +etc. (don't do what I did)
The first night sleeping was *not* fun, I'll admit. My back hurt like a MotherFucker and I couldn't really do much about it? It still wasn't something I would personally consider pain, just extreme discomfort
Listen to me. The floor is going to be your best friend. Make sure you have someone to help you sit up, since you can't utilize ur arms very much, but laying on your back on the floor is SO nice. It's also a good way to test your mobility and stretch a little! (LISTEN TO YOUR BODY IF ITS UNCOMFORTABLE)
Regardless, as long as you take your meds and eat, for the most part you'll be good. Some of the worst parts of recovery (at least for me so far) are all minor inconveniences- a really weird feeling on ur nipple, not being able to pop your back, not being able to shower for the first week, that sort of thing.
For recovery items, you really do not need to invest a ton in them. What's been helping me is bendy straws, a pillow with the little side arm rests, and a lap desk. Pretty much everything else is optional and more for general comfort, but you won't be totally miserable if you just use what you already have
HOWEVER. baby wipes and baby powder. LIFE SAVERS. I ended up shaving my armpits beforehand to try and get ahead of the stink, but they chafe like a motherfucker, and just a bit of baby powder helps sooooooooo much. Baby wipes help you feel a little more clean- id suggest using them more often than you think you do, because once you're stinky there's no going back
I'll probably reblog this if I think of more things and add onto it, but for now that's what it's been!!! Take care of yourself and go be transgender
FEEL FREE TO SEND ME QUESTIONS IN MY ASK BOX!!!!
I am a very open book about medical stuff so most questions (as long as they're in good faith lol) are totally welcome <3
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delilah-isnt-dead-yett · 1 year ago
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・: * ・゚: * ・゚ ୨୧ Intro Post :*˚୨୧⋆。˚・゚: *・゚: *
Hi!!! Before I begin, this is a Percy Jackson RP account for my OC!
Also, i thrive on chaos. PLEASE GIVE ME RANDOM ASKS I love making friends! please DM or send and ask :D
IMPORTANT STUFF ALL THE WAY ON THE BOTTOM!!! pictures from banner are not mine! picrew isn't mine either! <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Name: Delilah! My friends call me Lulu (short for delulu) but you can call me anything you want! Age: 14 years old! This is my first summer here at Camp Half Blood! (yes, i am greek... i am that graecus scum) Parent/Cabin: Unclaimed :(( Mom. Dad. Parent. Whoever you are. Please claim me soon. Cecil keeps stealing my stuff and im running out of silly string. I GOT ADOPTED BY @the-grain-goddess Abilities: Idrk... I like to help in the infirmary though! Also the strawberry fields cuz it's nice there... I also babysit the Tinies™ a ton (Tinies are campers below 10 y/o) Weapons: I can hit the target with the bow and arrow but uhh vauegly. I suck at everything lol. I suck least with dagger.
Queerness: Very bi and very panicked. Also ace for now! DNI: rude people. people who are mad at others existence. also NSFW blogs! im a minor :33
<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
OOC:
I MISS TONS OF SOCIAL CUESS!!! I'm trying to work on it but if i ever overstep my boundaries or make you uncomfy, pleasee let me know <33 im just a bit oblivious sometimes
IM SEX REPULSED! totally cool, do your thing but please nothing too graphic I use friend and '<33' a ton so lemme know if you dont want me to use it around you!
I use 'girlypop', 'gurl', 'broski', & 'bruh' as gender neutral terms but lemme know if you want something else or me to avoid them!
I will try to respond but my spoons always seem to run out :(( ALSO! i have some really long rb convos so they key 'j' moves to the next post! mobile users? good luck
<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
my tags are #delilah blabbers and sometimes #delilah creates
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astrxealis · 3 years ago
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HELLO i only checked my notifs now but !!! yes yes !!! <3
HI EVERYONE GOOD EVENING !! you all should play nier. nier replicant & nier automata & reincarnation & also the drakengard series :)) it’ll be fun :)) haha yeah !!!
#feel free to ask anything you want hehehe i'd be very happy to answer >;)#TBH idk what in particular you'd like to know. or if generally is just okay. idk if i'm goot at explaining but i can try#like uhhh automata and replicant are video games while reincarnation is a mobile game !! drakengard is also video games#nier is like. a really obscure spinoff of drakengard in which it is based off a (joke?) ending of the first drakengard game#so yeah you don't need to know drakengard to be in nier! but it helps (idk in what particularly tho)!#automata is technically a sequel to replicant but it's not required you play replicant first. but i recommend playing replicant#either before or after automata bcs it really adds to the experience'#replicant is a bit complicated uhh bcs the new version. the remaster/remake. ver. 1.22... is the name#okay so at first there was nier Replicant and then nier Gestalt! replicant was released in japan and gestalt worldwide#biggest difference is just that gestalt has the protag as a Dad. replicant has him as a Brother#sooo the new remaster/remake makes use of replicant with the dad!!#so that's basically it for nier !!#ah reincarnation tho is just like. unrelated to the other games for the most part#except for side stories/collabs for the other nier or drakengard games which invole extra story for them!#reincarnation i greatly recommend as well bcs it's the easiest to get ofc. free. but the story is also really good!!!#and for drakengard !! okay so there's three. 1 and 3 are made by yoko taro who is the producer for the rest of nier as well#but the 2nd drakengard game isn't and if im not mistaken. drakenier (drakengard & nier series) fans kinda exclude it JFBSKFNSK#but 1 and 3 from what i know are super cool!!! idk much abt 1 at all but#3 is kinda weird and idk how to explain. i haven't seen it myself yet but i did read an article about it which i can send if you want!!#it really explains why it is Terrible but simultaneously One Of The Best <3#SORRY THO IF ALL OF THIS IS TOO MUCH AAAAA I JUST REALLY LIKE TO TALK ABT STUFF I LIKE AND ALL FKEVFKSNBD#also HI nice to meet you sillo hehe !! i hope you are doing well >;3#fellow filipino and you like GIRLS !! great taste fr. gl w your chem and bio hw btw as i am lookin at your pinned post heheh#⋯ ꒰ა my galaxy ໒꒱ *·˚#— sillo! ♡#the urge to make your tag nickname Silly Sillo bcs i think it's cute. only if it is fine w u tho >___<
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whumpzone · 4 years ago
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hi there! im thinking of making a whump blog to put the whump things i write somewhere, but have no idea how to actually get people to see my work? how did you manage to get fans? any tips for a new whumper? thank you in advance :D
hi!
here's a bit of advice, but obviously I'm only one person! I never think of myself as having "fans". I'm just part of a wider community sharing our work with each other
1. Write for yourself first and foremost!
Look, we all pay attention to how many notes our stuff gets, it can't be helped. But please please don’t compare yourself to others. I can't help but notice if something I write doesn't do as well as usual, but I don't measure it against what another blog gets. It's super unhealthy and negative. Writing should be fun and like you say, primarily this should be a blog for you to put your writing, because you love your hobby
2. Write an intro post
Tag blogs you like, or ones you were inspired by! No one finds it annoying, in fact it's a compliment and always lovely to see a new blog. If you want, put what kind of whump you're into, to help find 'your people'. It's also nice to put your name so people know what to call you :D
3. Make a masterlist!
You wanna make it as easy as possible for people to find your work. If they liked one post, they might go to your blog to see what else you have. Make sure it works on mobile and is linked in your description or pinned
4. Tag tag tag
Tag everything! There's no downside to it! I think tumblr counts the first 5 when tag searching, but they will all be searchable in your blog. So tag away!
5. Interact with people!
Reblog fics/art/prompts you like, send asks, the whump community is so friendly and having this blog has been so so rewarding. Don't feel pressured to be social of course, it shouldn't feel like a chore, but if you've been lurking for a while, go hype up all those posts you liked!!
Also- if someone reblogs a tag game and says "for anyone who wants to do this" they mean YOU baby
6. Don't be afraid of not getting many notes
Sometimes stuff just doesn't do too well! It's life! People might love your stuff but not want to interact for whatever reason, or they may be a lurker without an account, etc etc. But you're posting for you, this is your whump storage unit, and sometimes a flyaway post like "hey, what if X or Y happened to a whumpee?" can blow up. Try to take it in your stride and not set your expectations too high
7. Readmores are your friend
This might just be me, but if an entire fic is on my dash and I have to scroll past the whole thing, I'm not gonna enjoy that much. I'd leave a few paragraphs out to set the scene and draw people in, then readmore it. And make sure to have content warnings visible!
I hope this helps!??! Honestly there's no science to it. Just have fun!!
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junquisite · 4 years ago
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Escapades
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WORD COUNT : 2.1K
WARNING : Suggestive
GENRE : Con Artist AU
She was staring at the mirror, trying to tie her hair up in a decent style when a pair of hands creeped from behind around her waist and she felt lips brushing on her bare neck.
“This dress is too showy. I don't want him to touch you in this.” Seungwoo mumbled in her neck and she smiled at his reflection. 
“Just one more day.” she whispered as his grip tightened on her waist and slid down slowly, lower with each passing second. She felt the brush of lips turning to kisses and she sighed.
“You can't leave a mark Seungwoo. We can't ruin everything today at this point.” Byul whispered and Seungwoo groaned but unwillingly pulled away. He stared at her back as she dressed up, saw her putting on the heavy necklace that old man gifted her and imagined the different ways he can have his way with her with her only wearing that necklace.
“What are you thinking of? Get your mind out of the gutter.” she said with a small smile playing on her lips which Seugnwoo returned slowly.
“How do you know what i was thinking of?” he asked as he went down on his knees to help her wear the new pair of heels she got with the expensive designer dress she was wearing, by none other than that old man who’ll have his hands around her soon. He decided he’ll make her keep the heels on too with the necklace.
“You just get this look on your face, I can tell it from far away.” Byul said as his hands slowly raised away from her ankle to her knees.
“You said no where where he can see right?” Seungwoo mumbled with his lips pressed against her thighs visible from the high slit of the dress till her mid thighs, his hands slowly creeping up and under the dress, dangerously close to where she wanted him badly.
“We need to go down.” she whispered and then gasped, her hand coming up to her lips to not let the sound pass as she felt him bite at her inner thighs. She heard him chuckle and looked down to see him peeking from in between her dress and whined as he went back in and she felt his lips trailed the inside of her thighs.
There was a knock on the door which made her curse as she quickly looked at it and breathed a sigh of relief when saw it locked from the inside.
“Who is it?”
“Miss. Kim, Mr. Kang is expecting you down.” Byul heard from outside and heard Seungwoo curse softly as he separated himself from her.
“I’ll be down in 10 minutes.” she responded and heard the servant scurry off.
She turned to see Seungwoo wearing his tie and went to straighten it as he smiled down at her.
“Ready to go Miss. Kim Jisoo?” Seugnwoo asked Byul and she smiled.
“I am. Are you ready Mr. Im Jongin?” she asked and he nodded as he gave her his hand and she grabbed it, a soft smile gracing her lips as they left the room and separated their hands - him taking his place behind her.
 ~
“Aaah there she is, the bride of the hour!” a lady almost shouted as Byul reached the main party area and she smiled as she approached the lady standing with her to-be husband, Seungwoo a close step behind her.
“Jisoo-ah, you need to wear this all the time now.” the man she was supposed to marry said as she smiled and took the ring box and put on the 6 carat diamond ring as the lady beside her gasped.
“That's an impressionable diamond I must say.” she said and Byul smiled, she could practically hear the envy in her voice.
“Mr. Kang was nice enough to buy the ring my heart  was set on.” she said as she felt the man slip his arm around her and felt Seungwoo stiffen behind her.
“And who's that if i may ask?” the lady asked Pointing at Seungwoo and Byul heard the old man beside her scoff.
“He’s the kind caretaker of my Jisoo here. He’s Jongin, a caretaker and a brotherly figure for Jisoo sent by her family.” he said and Byul smiled. 
“Your family must be rich enough to have a caretaker for you?” the lady asked and Byul waved her hand. “It’s just something they thought i must always have - some sort of protection.” and pulled herself away from the old man and bowed at them.
“I’ll be taking my leave for now.” and went away, Seongwoo following her behind.
 “Caretaker. I’ll never get used to it.” he mumbled as she strayed to a corner with a non-alcoholic drink in her hand, him behind her like a shadow as she surveyed the room.
“It's perfect. You can always stay with me.” she whispered as she saw one of the servers coming to her with an empty tray and bow at Seungwoo who carefully passed an envelope full of money to him.
They saw as he disappeared in the kitchen and came back with a tray full of drinks and started serving them, the drinks blood red and tempting. 
 ~
“Aaah I think he have had one too many drinks.” one of the ladies chimed, equally red faced as the one beside her - barely able to stay straight on their feet but sober enough to comment about others. Typical rich people behaviour Byul thought as she tried to stop her to-be husband’s wandering hands - t Least in front of the wicked ladies.
“I think it’ll be best if i take him to bed.” Byul said but one of the ladies grabbed his hand.
“Let your caretaker take him, have one more drink with us dear Jisoo!” the lady said and Byul threw Seungwoo a helpless look who just smiled at her but she could sense the smirk under it.
“Take care of him Jongin-ssi!” one of the younger ladies said and Byul refrained herself from openly glaring at her - her looks were not decent, she was practically undressing Seungwoo with her eyes.
 1 hour and only one drink for herself later, Byul managed to send all the guests away. The servants were given a night off to cool off before the stress of the wedding starts from the next day and they were finally home alone - her, Seugnwoo and the old 40-something man she was supposed to marry.
 ~
Detective Park rang the bell of the huge house and wondered if calling it a mansion would be better as the door opened to reveal a clearly tired servant and went inside to see the mood getting gloomier with every step.
A 40-something man - Kang Harin, CEO of a small but flourishing fishery business in the particular area, was throwing a child-like tantrum in his expensive looking but bare living room.
“That bitch took  everything! She left nothing! She even took my designer suits!” The last line would have made the detective laugh if he didn't know that one of those suits was probably more then his monthly paycheck.
“Mr. Kang, I'm Detective Park, if you can just list all the items missing? You can add more stuff later but off the top of your head, what all is missing?” 
The detective would have been dumb to ask what hapepend. He knew what happened. It was not the first time something like this took place - he has been monitoring other similar incidents that happened in other small parts of south korea in the past 7 years.
A couple - one of them would woo a rich person, the other some sort of person taking an important role - enough to be let around all the time but not important enough to be shifted the focus on to. And then before the marriage they'll disappear - with everything the person owned that was worth anything. The material would be later found out at different pawn shops stating they never took any stuff to be caught but only took the money.
An on duty officer came to him and handed him a list and he went through it - the list of articles stolen as of now. It had everything on it- from the jewellery to cash from the locker, cash from the hidden locker, gold from the office, electronics like mobiles and even the computer from the office, TV set and some of the small kitchen equipments, a couple of suits from the man’s closet, all of the designer bags and heels, all the jewellery he ever brought her and all the jewellery he owned (chains and rings) and even a few of expensive vases and art pieces that hanged on the wall. They left nothing!
“And there are no pictures left?” the detective asked the officer.
“We even questioned the visitors from yesterday's parties. No one had any pictures and one girl claimed to have clicked some but she said her phone stopped working in the morning suddenly. Some virus. Traces of the same virus were found in the security camera monitors of here and near this house and in the computer left with the message.” the officer said and detective Park raised an eyebrow, a message was new.
He went to the said laptop, apparently it won’t work but stuck on the screen it was showing. A picture of a Napkin with a kiss stain at the corner saying, It was fun but this was last. See you never!
He wondered vaguely if it was a message for him rather than the old man since he was the leader of a team made specifically to work on their case. Then he wondered if this was actually true and their last crime.
“So we again have nothing?” he asked the detective who had followed him.
“The man claims that they looked exactly like the sketches we have from the cases before just different hair? And roles too apparently. She was a lady of an old family and he was her caretaker. Names were Kim Jisoo and Im Jongin.” and Park sighed.
“Let's get going then. There's nothing more for us here.”
 ~
A week later
~
 “Can I see your passport miss?” the airhostess at the entryway asked and Byul passed hers. Kang Daeum, it read.
“And yours sir?” Seungwoo passed his passport, the name reading Jung Jihoon.
“Have a safe flight ma’am, sir.” the hostess said and bowed down and they bowed back.
The clicks of her high designer heels were loud in the silent hallway to board the plane.
“Can't believe you kept those heels.” Seungwoo muttered from beside her as she smiled at him.
“You first decided at the pawnshop that you wanted to keep the necklace.” she said, her eyes no doubt holding the teasing that Seungwoo knew was bound to come behind her sunglasses. But he would never accept he was jealous.
“I like it though. You can keep on the heels too with the necklace whenever we get to the hotel.” he said, smirking as she lowered her sunglasses to stare at him, “Only those things on you though.” he ended, her hand shooting up to hit him on the chest, ready to yell if not for being at  a public place as he chuckled.
After showing their boarding pass and settling down in the first class seats, he turned to her when she sighed, sliding down slightly in the comfortable chairs.
“Maybe you should consider dying your hair, I like this on you.” he said as he tugged at the blond wig she had on and she shrugged.
“Why not. We’re going to Bali, might as well look tropical.” she said and he laughed.
“Why not pink then?” he suggested and she smirked at him. “Only if you do blue.” and he smiled.
“Deal.”
 ~
It was late, night Seungwoo assumed since it was dark but who knows where they exactly were. All he knew was there was a vast expanse of water underneath the plane and the flight still had more than 7 hours left.
He saw on the side Byul shutting down her laptop.
“Are you tired?” he asked and she blinked at him taking out her headphones and shrugging.
“I can use some sleep.”
“I have other plans.” Seungwoo said as his hands sneaked underneath the blanket she had on her lap, squeezing her thighs as she looked at him, surprised.
“How do you feel about joining Miles high club?” 
The smile that adorned her lips said she was in, and when she got up leaving the blanket behind, asking the air hostess where the restrooms were and winking at him before leaving, Seungwoo knew he had hit the jackpot with her.
Bali would be amazing, he whispered as he got up himself.
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awsugar · 3 years ago
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omg u have so many followers and i have like none and i sort of look up to you so i was wondering how to gain some sort of a following too? im pretty new here so i have no clue how all of this works
omg you look up to me? wow! thats nice thank you but anyway to be honest a huge majority of my followers were gained as a fob blog and then another big portion were gained many years ago. i have no idea how many active followers i have anymore, i think i just have like. LOUD followers. like a bigger percentage of them send me asks than your average blog. thats what i think.
anyway, yea i do have a decent following. but i barely gain any these days bc i lose SO MANY just from being so fucking annoying lmao. like i lose a literally alarming number so i net very few.
i do have suggestions though: have a consistent blog theme/topic (if i'm looking for new blogs to follow and they post some mcr but a ton of other shit that i dont care about i probably wont follow), make original posts (tagging your posts will help if you don't have very many followers to start with), interact with people, comment on their posts etc, they may notice you and follow back, also idk how much this matters anymore but back in the day your theme was HUGE. i would say at least try to make your mobile theme look nice. also url is important.
like i said im not positive what works anymore but i think a huge factor if you want to gain followers as an mcr blog rn at least though is making humorous mcr text posts or posting memes. that stuff will probably gain you more followers than making gifs and edits at this point.
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stray-tori · 5 years ago
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An Innocent Sin & the good gay flashback ft. my descent into madness
I wasn’t sure if I should post this but I mostly want it archived so here we go. This is from like,, September?
So. “An Innocent Sin” is a dumpster fire unlike anything I’ve ever seen. I don’t remember why I decided to read it. maybe I was crazy. Either way... I read it. It soon started to touch upon (very very outlandish) sexual abuse which I thought was interesting. (the angst, not so much some of the wack circumstances surrounding it)
ANYWAY. at some point... we have a flashback. And not just that. It has a gay character.
And it turns rly gay. which mind you, is still in a het smut manwha (that has a “gay” side couple, but still!)
And it destroyed me.
For those who want to read it because I genuinely think the flashback is a decent bit, it’s all the bonus chapters between chapter 77 and 78 I think. There’s a part before that too, but idk where exactly anymore. (It’s on lezhin! or your platform of choosing)
I don’t THINK you’ll need any other knowledge to get the flashback bit? but it’s been a while.
Below the cut (rip mobile users), you can read all of my amazing reactions (all of these were text messages, for context - but I took most of the replies and convos about other things out). Post is also tagged as long post. :))
(i’m serious, this is fucking long)
__________
Here I am. Liking the gay flashback character. Feck. Main dude is still straight but idk it's cute pff
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This is a mess. The girl white hair likes, likes black hair, maybe, but thinks white hair is attractive
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What just happened is sth I'd like to know too pff He's so cute tho omg. Watch me melt Can we stay in this flashback before everything got perverted af and before white hair gets assaulted all the time I would send an eyebrow emote if I could Context: he's asking he says it again
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Ik it's not mutual but loookkk he's so sweet. He's kinda rude in present time, can't we stay in this flashback forever
I never asked for gay, never expected gay but I got gay
This story is trash why am I still reading it shdhhd
He caught his mom cheating. And now she's forcing him to watch??? What is thissss Well adoptive mom But still sudhdidu what Bitch how dare YOU exist
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Save my babyyyy
Yay sister that's not yet a rapist to the rescueee
This flashback is actually just nicer in every way let's just stay here This is a super long flashback btw Idek anymore what triggered it
Okay I think I'm gonna make the sensible decision and let this dumpster fire rest and just go sleep
It was very wild. I kinda wanna see white hair get therapy but it has 90 chapters and I'm at like 30... So I'm very concerned this is gonna be very dragged out. Idek if it's even finished ahahsududi - but I do kinda wanna see where it goes and see more cute Noah (white hair) so. Here we are.
yeahhh like i was down for the sexual abuse angst but then the mother killed the adoptive son's mother bc the dad had a thing for her?? and it was someone a person studying with white hair knew and so he's investigating and I'm like how did this turn into a crime organisation kind of plot
hhhhhhh i... i appreciate these horny things also tackling abuse but it always kind of gives me weird vibes to have both, especially when its very horny. And when people are horny to people who've been abused. Idk but I'd assume... you might try NOT to tie them up if they're frequently bondaged during their assaults. I'm just.... disjdksdj hello?? am i weird?? why are they fine with it???
also this manwha is so wild, theres this murder mystery investigation thing and then theres just a couple doing honry stuff sprinkled in between and i'm like OKAY
they rescued a guy in their basement and he's understandably very traumatized and they're trying to question him cut to our main couple trying bondage which i still dont understand bECAUSE HE'S A RAPE VICITM WHY ARE YOU OKAY WITH THIS the ones questioning arent the main couple of course but idshkjds
like im glad he's somehow okay with all this horny stuff despite his trauma and im glad he can be happy and have a nice relationship but DO WE NEED THIS MUCH OF IT he's very cute tho
i like that even when i try other stuff lezhin recommends me it still has large amount of gay in it
[mei: i mean... that's pretty great, if you ask me]
I mean I agree, I'm enjoying the gay eheheh these tonal whiplashes there's not even that much white space between the panels fhjd nvm it just turned horny goddamn it can there be 1 chapter without fucking? okay, there were the flashbacks
WE ARE BACK IN FLASHBACKS but im not getting the gay relationship, sad
OH WAIT AM I GETTING GAY COMFORT bc thats very good too
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OH NNOOO this turned sad very quickly
I'M SORRY IM SPAMMING BUT THIS IS JUST ANGSTY
I'M :((((
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different species confirmed
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I rly like them :((( I like the current girl too but it's just..... very horny with her. the flashbacks are nice [current tori edit: she’s very unloyal idk why i said I liked her] im weird HHHHH RIPPP 
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someone help him he looks so saddddd
not sure if thats the most healthy relationship but I'LL TAKE IT
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AWWW black hair's mom cooks mild food for them bc Noah can't eat spicy food :((( im soft
PFFF
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I LOVE THE FLASHBACKS :(((
awww
i feel like theyve done much more bonding than noah's current relationship. I mean yes I think its cute when she comforts him, too, but they rarely do anything besides be horny together
OH OH THEY'RE KISSING
best buildup, honestly
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the position is hornier than I'd like later here goes hope it stays cute
D-did someone just respect the word "stop"??? I am amazed
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i think you might uh. have some trauma stuff too so yknow
Dohye is a little dramatic in his reassurance but it's all rly cute so I'm :(( I like them a lot pls stay like this getting invested in flashbacks is always like: ik it wont stay but pls stay like this
hELP
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chapters ending in "i wanna touch him" is never good. I'm scared. Oh okay he didnt do anything. PHEW. He's already better than the girl, can't they just end up together lmao
[Noah was jealous]
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w-why do you look so evil dohye haukdhjs
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oh. oh no. the horny is starting. pls dont... just be cute forever
DOHYE NO YOU WERE SO DECENT WHY ARE YOU LYING ABOUT KOREAN TRADITIONS TO GET HIM TO DO STUFF HORNY STUFF TOO NO PLS STOP I JUST- WHEEE TvT the manwha is actually less visually horny in the flashbacks but im not sure if its bc its BL which isnt rly the genre of the manwha or if its bc they're still kids basically, which... I'd respect the latter, tho I'd prefer it to be like this constantly haha
okay. he's not respecting stop anymore, but it's also more of embarrassed nature more than "no i dont want this stop" so maybe i can forgive it. Still losing points, but he hugged him and it was sweet so HHHHHHHHHHH NOT SURE HOW I SHOULD JUDGE THIS SITUATION
They [Noah’s family] forbid him to visit his friends house I AM DEVASTATED
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understandable they're a rapist, a fucked up murderer mother and a father with a thing for younger women so
tho he dont know any of that but yknow he's so pretty just fucking end me on the spot
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hooo
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they are boyfriends and ik from the future that his sister is gonna ruin it allll she has those drugs that make visual imaginations feel like they rly happened to the person (dont know if thats real but holy fuck its terrifying) and she's used it before to say that Noah assualted her. and im pretty sure shes gonna use it again bc there was a panel of Noah remembering Dohye being uhhhh intimate with her and thats why Noah began to hate him and im so sad im not ready for it. bc he's denied it in the future and i honestly couldnt see it happening even before that or she drugged Dohye, i guess thats a possibility too
[current tori: oh girl, it’s neither and it’s wack]
which if, btich you gonna die even more enough rambling, more reading. this makes me so sad but also spicy
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on the manwha note, he thinks Noah doesnt like his family bc he's adopted and doesnt feel comfy which....... fair enough i suppose. and he's so cute im gonna melt just looK AT THIS 
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SHUt UP, IM GONNA CRY
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OH MY GODDDD he ate like ice and gum and all that, and Dohye assumed it was bc of the more spicy food and got rl worried, but he was just trying to get the smell out of his breath bc he wanted to kiss him ukhsdjs HOW CAN YOU BE SO CUTE HELLLOOOOOOOOO
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look at them. LOOK AT mY BABIESSSS
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how am i ever gonna care about the main couple again aww he-he wanted to go to the same highschool as him :((( im sad bc i know its not gonna happennnnnn
[mei: also at this point, you're literally never gonna care about them. i don't even know the main couple that well and i honestly don't care about them whatsoever.]
WAIT NO they're actually going to the same school awww ik it wont take long until sister fucks it up for them but for now theyre so sweet ohmygodddd
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cant he move in with them, fuck his family honestly
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dohye he's not a fucking pokemon iukhsdjs
oh. its. turning horny i am displeased with this development but i guess its natural for their relationship however COULD YOU DO IT AT HOME AND NOT IN SOME DUSTY SMALL ROOM how do ppl do this i like that the comments too are just "... is anyone still carng about the other girl?" sakjds
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this is the best 3 panels in existence.
h-he just took your hand dohye idk what to tell you
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[mei: "you blush at everything i do" god if that isn't me, idk what is]
awww its cute dohye is getting bonus points bc he invited Noah over while his mom wasnt home, they watched some sexual stuff and he DIDNT try to do anything what is this where can i get more of this
"well im not okay"
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MY BABIESSSS 
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they still didnt do much btw they're just kinda exploring and its honestly nice TvT I dont want this to ever endddd
[Dohye sees Noah’s sister and approaches her] N O
N OOOO
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this is the starttttt of something.......... TERRIBLEEEE 
:((( babyyyy
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I AM EMO
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Noah was drugged im sure. hes having dreams and waking up in pain and the sister is asking doyhe over I DONT LIKE THISSSSSSS OH HE DECLINED
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OKAY OKAY he saw him with her again but it was from behind and im not sure if it rly happened??? oh no this is terrible. Noah :((( poor child
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i am so emo about this
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[reminder he’s been abused TvT]
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[the sister: “Don’t you want to know why?”]
i will. murder someone he called to ask her to delete his number btw what is this manwha but this is just gonna make it that more tragic when whatever happens that breaks them apart :(((
he's such a good bf but Noah just wont TELL him his side I'M SO SAD
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I AM SO SAD
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No
NO
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It cant end im actually tearing up nooo you were so cuteeee and happpyyy
[*sister is telling dohye to come to the gym hall*]
what else is she gonna do she already teared [current tori: ahem... T O R E] them apart THAT'S NOT DOYhE. THATS NEVER HIM. OH MY GOD. is it a look alike??? damn, she's dedicated to just. ruining it, huh
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I’M
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I’M SO SAD
now he's switching SCHOOLS NO NOOOOO how will i ever find happiness againnnn NO they're misunderstanding further they're not talking properly i mean i get it but oh my god
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I'M :((( 
NO NOOOO pls make up in the future at least omg he tried to clear it up tooo ahhh i dont even have hopes for them getting back together but i just i want them to clear it up im crying first manwha to make me cry and it's this dumpster fire ahaha maybe a little too bc it kinda hit a little close to home i guess but goddamnn ittttt they were so cuteee and so happy and AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
OH NO. Noahs getting drugged and assaulted. And he's realizing it happened before, he just forgot. I am. so sad it's not horny drawn either which i appreciate but MY HEART NO
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N O DONT YOU DARE MAKE THIS WORSE
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Im. gonna cry more 
Doyhe kept an eye on him im so emo :(( but he thought he was doing well enough and gave up.... Im im so sad no i want you to make up and get back together its all just a stupid........... MEHHHH will i ever find sth like this flashback again
[mei: p-probably not, no]
i am so devasted i dont even wanna go back to the main couple just fucking. i want this relationship back :(((( but i guess the investigation might end up somewhere so hhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhh the baker manwha had a similar flashback feeling so. i just gotta find more of that haha
BUT THIS WAS SO SAD??? im so emo
[Dohye got kidnapped // the flashback commentary stops here but I think my descend into madness is pretty funny too]
OH YEAH THAT HAPPENED. THE FLASHBACK WAS SO LONG I FORGOT. NOOOO SAVE HIM. JESUS CHRIST PLS JUST ONE GOOD THING
its. actually rly smart to have another, more focused on them flashback, before the arc where he gets kidnapped by the rapist murder household so. good job. from a meta perspective but also NO but also. maybe theres hope for them making up at least after all :(((
[main couple kissing] this is. very weird now. but im glad he has someone, he deserves it but dohyeeeee
and switching to sex, YET AGAIN now i wanna see this EVEN LESS THAN I DID BEFOREEEE it's even.... a threesome now with one of the other characters why are you like this why can't you be. like in the flashback i am so upset HAHHHHH WHEEEZEEEE
I am just stop fucking jesus christ PLEASE I DONT WANNA SEE IT ANYMOREEEEE
im just stop the horny pls just tell me who that new guy is and why doyhe likes him so much
[mei: this manwha is a fucking mess but at least we got your lovely commentary out of it]
dhsuksj thanks i feel honored at least i got cute BL out of it before everything went [back] to shit
[mei: THAT TOO]
[...]
tbh im getting kinda mad about doyhe... i dont... feel like he'd just fall instantly for a guy who looks like Noah... but eh not my character
i just want closure for dohye at this point, fuck everything else ... not literally pls theres already too much of that
pls get it together for like 1 chapter is the investigation even still happening i am so confused save dohye plEASE wait what i have less than 10 episodes left Dont tell me this shit isnt even wrapped up yet
[Dohye is having a breakdown over the Noah double not coming to see him anymore]
yeah i this... doesnt feel like Dohye... at all... Even when Noah was rejecting him he was just kind of... taking it with some humor and maybe he was a little desperate and risky sometimes but... oh well... i do want him to get better but... im having a hard time believeing this development??? he never seemed overly anxious or anything. but who knows what else they did to him. Sister can still go fuck off tho
[...]
i mean. i liked the flashbacks a lot honestly??? it stayed simple and focused on the dynamics and less trying to balance smut with murder plots
[dm partner: NO THAT'S WHAT I MEAN LIKE CLEARLY THE AUTHOR CAN MAKE A GOOD STORY SO I'M JUST... CONFUSED AS TO WHY THEY DIDN'T STICK WITH SOME SOFT, FLUFFY BL ROMANCE MANWHA AND DECIDED TO MAKE WHATEVER THIS IS INSTEAD ]
okay i dont care bc dohye is currently getting assaulted nobody asked for this why i just. this is terrible. he was... so sweet. he doesnt deserve this. nobody does of course but jesus christ pls someone save him at least its not horny visually, one saving grace
ah... the assult is back to being depicted horny-ly thank you for nothing
[... removed some general confusion about the plot]
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YES. SOME SHIP FOOD.
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i am. suffering i mean i cant stop but GOD
okay so apparantly. the sister. has just an arsenal of people who look like other people Dohye, then Noah... and even Noah's GF??? this is ridiculous??
one good message 
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why 
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did you feel the need to add that [actual tired rage]
im gonna die this manwha is gonna kill me im laughing but im suffering oh hes arrested great and thats the end and the last update was in january of this year
why AS IN NOAH IS ARRESTED nobody who actually did anything is arrested What is this why is this AHHH I at least wanted the complete-ness of finishing this but now I'M JUST SUFFERING
[ mei: I MEAN TO BE FAIR I'D BE SUFFERING TOO BC JUST... WHAT THE FUCK I HAVE?? MANY QUESTIONS?? AND MANY CONCERNS BC THIS MANWHA IS JUST... AN EXPERIENCE ]
its an experience allright WELL
_______________
yup that’s it.
in my head, in a twist of events Dohye and Noah make up and are actual endgame. Something like that must exist out there but I won’t ask because it’d destroy the surprise and ruin the point.
That’s it.
Have a nice day.
12 notes · View notes
oh-mother-of-darkness · 5 years ago
Text
asks (26)
@spickerzocker​ said:
hey there! just a heads up that i tried to click on the "why i don't ship" explanation link in your faq and it says that there is no post with that url/it's generally broken. also your "a conversation about recovery" thing is beautiful and hurts in the best way and i love it. have a nice day!
Yes, I intentionally took that link down awhile ago, and last night I went and updated some of the tabs on my blog. Here are my basic thoughts:
I wrote that link years and years ago, while I was first navigating the internet and while I was still figuring out important things about my own identity and opinions. I ran my blog differently back then, but by the end of the first few months, I knew I was uncomfortable with shipping. 
As people began to interact with me and my work, I told them over and over again no, I don’t want to talk about that, and I don’t want to write about it, and it makes me uncomfortable. I don’t think that was a common position to take at the time, so it wasn’t what people expected from me. 
During those years, I felt like I had to justify myself and give a valid explanation. I wrote that post explaining why I had that boundary, and I put it in a place where anyone could find it.
I said no when people asked, let them make jokes about it, and made jokes about it myself in response. As time went on I got more and more exasperated when I had to repeat myself. I wrote definite rules into my ask box, request tab, and FAQ. People still asked. I wrote it into my description. People still asked. 
The truth is yeah, there’s a pretty simple explanation for my discomfort. It makes sense. It’s easy to understand, and most folks think it’s a “good enough” reason to leave me alone. The difference between young-me and current-me is that I no longer feel the need to justify myself. 
None of y’all need to know why I set the boundaries that I set. My explanation isn’t relevant, and I’m not obligated to give it. I said no. That’s enough. 
I think a good number of folks remember my explanation from the past, and I don’t mind that at all. There may be a time where I talk about it again, in a more appropriate context, so I guess we’ll see.
That’s a lot of information in response to a very helpful ask. Thanks! The link is gone now, and I’m so pleased that you enjoyed the fic :)
------
Anonymous said:
U suck
Kenza sent this anon as a joke. She’s right, and I thank her. 
------
Anonymous said:
I'm a doctor and ive seen it all.....but the milk fic made me gag
Excellent
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@wingedskyes said:
Ah. Wait. I wasn't on anon....uhm. oh well. It's fine. I like milk and am not ashamed. 😆
I don’t think I received another message from you actually, but I too like milk and I’m glad we’re on the same page
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@thelittleredheadedmusician said:
To add to the milk discussions: my best friend from home and best friend from college have each finished a gallon a milk by themselves within 2 days.
I do that too, every once in awhile. When the milk craving hits it’s a gallon a day
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Anonymous said:
"TIM! POUR HIM. A GLASS OF M A L K!"
Hold on I have to google some things
Yeah this is funny
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Anonymous said:
I have read that milk fic three separate times and every time I’m laughing just as hard as Tim and dick by the end it’s just so excellently executed and builds so perfectly that by the time dick cracks I’m ready to go too and I just lose it it’s amazing I love it
Awww anon I’m so pleased :)
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@the-smartass-under-the-mountain said:
Just wanted to drop by and say your recent fic with Tim antagonizing Damian with increasingly outrageous milk concoctions had me giggling. It was so cute and refreshing to see Dick enjoying Tim's little prank. And Bruce's reaction to just... walk away was fantastic!
Thank you! I’m always so thrilled when y’all think the jokes hit
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@njtheboywonder​ said:
I havnt really enjoyed a fic in years, but i stopped to read ur fanfic with tim drinking milk just to fuck w dami amd it made me smile. Thanks, for writing it.
Oh that warms my heart <3
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@bruciewayneisbatman​ said:
Tim Is totally the guy who would drink ridiculous amounts of dalgona coffee to annoy damian, according to that fic.
Had to google that one, but I guess so huh
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Anonymous said:
(diff anon) but that birthday fic was so good oml and you have opened my eyes as to the batfam in quarantine this is such a Concept
We’re all here dying..... together...
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Anonymous said:
Happy birthday! 🎉 or belated! 🎂 thank you for being in the fandom. 😊
&
Anonymous said:
To anon! Sorry. I forgot to add that! Anyway, thanks to them we get a lovely fic. I hope you have many more birthdays! 😊
Message for you anon
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Anonymous said:
Your writing gives off good vibes
Hear that guys I “passed my vibe check.” Is that what the youth say these days? I am an elder now and I do not know
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Anonymous said:
finding your blog while being relatively new to batman fandom is such a bliss. your batfam content especially is *chef's kiss* amazing.
Thank you my darling :) I’m glad you’re here
------
Anonymous said:
Best line in a fic? Hard to pick just one, but this particular one from "Just Desserts" by fyeahbatmanandrobin on Tumblr is one of my faves: “Anyone else would be hard-pressed to provide the particular brand of excitement you bring to my life, Dami.”
&
@noisypaintersong​ said:
For the line thing: "I don't doubt it. Bruce Wayne, the unexpectedly normal guy wrapped in a mystery wrapped in a superhero wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a fake socialite wrapped in a businessman wrapped in a secretive billionaire." He paused. "…You're the seven-layer burrito of Gotham," he pondered. - Barry to Bruce in 'Of Friends and Foes' by Paganpunk2 on FFN. It's one of the funniest things I've read someone say to Bruce LOL
@kirakats​ submitted:
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&
Anonymous said:
“I do know that according to everyone else, there is no chance, no future, no universe where I stay a hero.” Describes my frustration with the way DC treats Damian so accurately. Let the kid be a hero dammit.
Thanks! That’s really helpful. I’ve got a decent answer to my question now. 
@kurawastaken​ submitted:
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So this is Kenza retaliating against me for the milk fic. I very much hate tomatoes and specifically ketchup. This photo (1) is a nightmare and (2) fulfills its intended purpose.
------
Anonymous said:
I love your blog!!!
And I love you 
------
Anonymous said:
quick question: how do you think jason reconciles with the fam?? i think in the comics they kinda just reboot and now he’s on better terms. but like what conversations happened, yknow??? (you’re doin great work by the way, it rips out my heart but it’s great)
This is an amazing question, and I’ll be thinking about it for the next bit, I think. That would be a really interesting topic to explore in depth
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@angel-gidget​ said:
*hugs you real tight* would you please send this to the first 10 people in your dash? Make sure someone gets a hug today and stay safe!
Oh thank you for the hug <3
------
Anonymous said:
I hadn’t been aware of that Memphis petition, but I live in Memphis too (Altho I know you said you just grew up there so you may not be living here currently haha) so ig I just wanted to say thanks for bringing it to my attention!
!!!
I’ve been in Texas for six years now, ever since I started school, but I’m still in and out of Memphis for family purposes. Love the trash heap of my birth 
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@damianwaynerocks​ said:
hey! any chance you know of any other dc heroes around damian’s age?
Sure! You could try Billy Batson, Jon Kent, or Maya Ducard
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Anonymous said:
hi! i don't know if it's okay to leave anons like these but ive been feeling down because my country has passed a bill that deprives us of lots of human rights freedom and i want you to know that i just found your blog through the damian/bruce + justice fic and it comforted me. im slowly going thru your works and so far they are all comforting. i love your stuff, thank you.
Philippines? I’ve heard some things, and I’m real sorry y’all’re going through that. I don’t know that there’s anything I could say about that to help, but I hope you’re finding joy somewhere
------
@awesomeness-ofgaybitches​ said:
Tumblr hates you. The links in your bio and to your fic masterlist don't work on mobile. I'm sorry.
FUCK
27 notes · View notes
sparklyicecube · 5 years ago
Text
Houseki No Gift Exchange - A Gamer’s Christmas
 To: @diisuke
From: @sparklyicecube
Merry Christmas~
“A Rutile, nice! Here Phos, take it. You could use a boost.”
“Nah, I know you’ve been eyeing that gem for your collection anyway.”
“Phos. You have 13hp left.”
“But Moony, it’s a Rutile though, I know you wanted to get at least one of these~"
“Fine! I’ll take it.”
“Yes, take it! I know you want it.”
“It is a really amazing item though; it can heal your hp and it’s super valuable…”
“Exactly, so take it!”
“I will!”
“Phosphophylitte! Are you flirting with your Moony-chan again?” Antarcticite’s voice rang out from beyond Phos’s headset.
Phos went red from the comment, even though Moonwalkerpatrol and them decided to date they had not gotten used to it all. Antarcticite leaned down and pulled the mic of the headset to their own mouth, pressing their ear to the side of the headset.
“Hello Moonwalkerpatrol, as much as I enjoy seeing Phos spend time with other, respectable people, they do have an exam tomorrow and they need to sleep.”
“Oh, no problem, I have an exam tomorrow too. Phos watch out-! “
Antarc and Phos watched the screen flash as Phos got killed by a stray monster.
“I told you to take the Rutile.” Came Cinnabar’s amused voice. “Goodnight Phos, sweet dreams.”
­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­(Houseki No Kuni Gift Exchange!)
“I’m going to ask to meet them today, we can meet up in real life!” Phos was skipping down the pavement on the way to school, Antarc following close behind.
“No gaming in class.” Reminded Antarcticite.
“Haiiiiiiiii.”
As they entered the classroom through the back door Phos saw Cinnabar look up at them, through their bright red hair their eyes made eye contact, Phos hid behind Antarc, hiding from Cinnabar in way any onlookers would describe as comedic.
The class was still incomplete, and students were openly talking, gossiping and laughing, Cinnabar was vaguely aware of dying in the game they were playing.
“I told you Phos hates me.” Bort looked up from the notebook they were writing in at Cinnabar’s statement.
“They don’t hate you Cinnabar,” Cinnabar looked dejectedly at their own notebook, “They’re just scared of you.” Cinnabar slumped slightly lower.
“Way to go in making me feel better.” No one in class had anything against Cinnabar, they just weren’t close to them, no one but Phos it seemed.
Bort put down their pen, a slightly guilty expression on their face. “Look, Phos just doesn’t know you well enough, which is fair since no one really does, but maybe if you make more of an effort to talk to them, they’ll like you more?”
Cinnabar thought for a while, then took their phone and opened an app, a game to be precise. “You know this game?”
Bort leaned over to look at the game. “Yeah, of course I have, you play it all the time in chemistry.”
“Well, this is the mobile version, at home I play it on my PC, but either way, I’m dating this- “
“You’re dating?!” Bort wasn’t loud enough for the whole school to hear but it certainly was loud enough for most of the class to turn around. “Sorry. They’re a real person right?”
“Yes to both, I mean, I think so. We act like we’re dating, and we say we love each other before we go offline, and we send virtual kisses, but we’ve never really said we were dating? I mean except that one time but I’m not sure whether it was a joke. Anyway. I’m 99% sure I know who I’m dating.”
“You know they could be scamming you, or catfishing you, or trying to kill you…”
“Okay one, you are paranoid, and two, look at their username!” Cinnabar pointed to the username that read: Phos3.5.
Bort slowly looked at Cinnabar, then at Phos who was sitting nearer the front trying to balance a pencil on the back of their pinkie finger, back to the username, they let out a small chuckle.
“This is funny to you isn’t it.”
“I don’t know it just seems like a cheesy drama, either way if you’ve managed to date Phos in the game you definitely can date in real life, right? I mean I don’t get your taste but if you guys are already dating it won’t be that hard. Find out whether they are really the same person though, otherwise it’ll be awkward.”
“I- “Cinnabar got cut short by their chemistry teacher coming in, Bort immediately switched focus to the material and the lesson while Cinnabar took out their phone to text the number that Phos gave them a while ago.
Moonwalkerpatrol:     Hi 😊
Phos3.5:                    Hiii!!! 😊😊😊
Phos3.5:                    What’s up?
Moonwalkerpatrol:     Nothing, just wanted to see how you were doing
Phos3.5:                    Im doing fine!!! Class is boring though…
Find out whether they are the same person.
Moonwalkerpatrol:     What class are you having?
Phos3.5:              Chemistry I think?
Moonwalkerpatrol:     You think?
Cinnabar looked up and stretched their neck to look at Phos, who was, in fact, typing under the table.
“Cinnabar, you seem excited, could you tell me the last step of crystallisation?” Cinnabar immediately shrunk back, looking at the board in hope that it would offer some sort of help.
“I-in an experiment for salt? O-or for gemstones?”  
“In an experiment to obtain salt.”
Cinnabar stuttered for a bit when Bort subtly slid over their notes. “Uh, turning off the heat and letting the rest of the water evaporate naturally.”
“Correct.” Cinnabar shrunk back into their seat, face burning after a having to speak in front of the whole class, sinking their head into their arms.
*Ping* *Ping* *Ping* *Ping*
Cinnabar looked up at their phone, which was dinging quietly with notifications. If that new fighting game that they downloaded was the culprit then it could be deleted, it wasn’t that interesting. It wasn’t, indeed, the new fighting game, instead they were looking at 35 new messages from Phos3.5.
Phos3.5:                    MOONY      
Phos3.5:                    Are you there?
Phos3.5:                    R u ok?
Phos3.5:                    Where are you?
Phos3.5:                    Answer me I’m getting worried
Phos3.5:                    You could see my messages then you couldn’t, are you ok?
Moonwalkerpatrol:     Srry
Phos3.5:                    OMG are you okay???
Moonwalkerpatrol:     I’m okay, just contemplating why I’m alive
Phos3.5:                    ☹
Phos3.5:                    Is it smth I said?
Phos3.5:                    Im sorry
Phos3.5:                    I love you tho
Moonwalkerpatrol:     I’m sorry, it’s not your fault!
Phos3.5:                    You’re alive cus you’re an amazing person
Phos3.5:                    And you probably are an amazing person in real life too
Phos3.5:                    You’re great at gaming but you’re also really good in making me feel good
Phos3.5:                    And you’re probably really pretty too
Phos3.5:                    But even if you aren’t you’re beautiful inside and I know that for a fact.
Cinnabar stared at the texts that had overwhelmingly positive compliments that were flowing in unprompted and unconditionally.
Moonwalkerpatrol:     Sorry… just thinking of stuff and got distracted so I didn’t see your messages
Phos3.5:                    Haha, there was some poor kid who got picked on by Sensei to say the answer, I would’ve helped them but I didn’t really know the answer either…
Moonwalkerpatrol:     …I feel sorry for them
Phos3.5:                    Yeah… they’re sorta scary but they are sorta pretty too. I’m sure you’re pretty too tho
Cinnabar mentally processed the fact that Phos called their real self pretty, giving them the confidence that spurred them to text their next message.
Moonwalkerpatrol:     About real life tho, do you want to meet up sometime? Like, in real life?
Phos stared at their phone in awe, with wide, wavering eyes, ignoring the teacher entirely.
Phos3.5:                    AAAAAAA I was thinking the same thing!!!
Phos3.5:                    Wait that wasn’t a typo right? You don’t mean the Ruby Stadium on level 5 right?
Phos3.5:                    Or the Shackle Ruins that we usually meet at
Moonwalkerpatrol:     Nope
Moonwalkerpatrol:     Uh actually
Cinnabar took a deep breath, ironic as they were texting and not speaking.
Moonwalkerpatrol:     I go to a school called Gakuen Houseki, we could meet at the gates at some point?
Phos3.5:                    OMG!
Phos3.5:                    I GO THERE TOO!
Phos3.5:                    THIS IS AMAZING!
The bell rang, signalling the end of this period and the start of the next one, Bort was flipping through their notes trying to memorise as much as possible. Antarc lightly smacked Phos.
“What?” Phos questioned, still on a high.
“Class, as you – should – already know we have an exam today. Books aside, pencil cases out and phones away, I’m looking at you Phos.” Phos reluctantly put their phone away as the class plunged into a concentrated area of fear and concentration.
(Houseki No Kuni Gift Exchange!)
“So, they go to our school, and they want to meet you.” Antarcticite confirmed, walking back home after school.
“Yep! We just have to decide on a date.”
“Where are you guys going to go?”
Phos hm’d for a while, staring up at the sky. “I don’t know, maybe… the Waffle House?”
“Not the place I’d go for my first date, but I won’t judge.” Phos reddened at the statement, only really registering the ‘meet up’ aspect and not considering that it might be their first legitimate date.
Once they got home Phos rushed to the computer and started it up.
“Hi Moony-kun,” chimed Phos as they connected their headsets.
“Hi Phos. How was your exam?”
“I’m pretty sure I bombed it, you?”
“I don’t pay attention in Biology so...”
“You had a Bio test too? Do you have Alexandrite sensei too?”
“Yeah, that sensei is tough, they give tests all the time.”
“So, when do we meet? Wednesday?”
Cinnabar considered this, it was Monday, but the Waffle House Cinnabar was thinking of going to only served their favourite dish on Sunday.
“Sunday maybe? I want to take you somewhere, but the best dish is only served on Sunday.”
“I have somewhere I wanna take you too! We’ll take turns then.”
The game started and they both turned from discussing their Sunday plans to screaming strategy.
(Houseki No Kuni Gift Exchange!)
The days went by a little too slowly, Phos was sprawled on the grass tearing apart flowers while Antarc was trying to help teach them the homework, inside the classroom was a very different atmosphere.
“Cinnabar, are you okay?” Jade looked at them in concern, Cinnabar was killing zombies on their phone, letting off some steam.
“Yeah, it was just a dumb argument anyway.” Cinnabar mumbled.
“Well… Dia is crying in the janitor’s closet right now and refuses to come out so I was wondering whether you were okay. It’s okay to not be okay.”
Cinnabar suddenly felt the world’s eyes on them, like in a click of the switch, or the reality of Jade’s words just crashing into them like a bullet train. If Cinnabar were to be honest with themselves, they legitimately did not feel bad about the argument, it was dumb, they should apologise, and they felt slightly ashamed for running their mouth like that, but not hurt. That scared them. Now Dia, one of the softest, kindest students in the class was off crying in the closet because of something that they did. It should hurt. Cinnabar should be feeling sadness, or anger, but all they’re feeling is guilt. This overwhelming guilt and a gnawing voice that tells them that everything they touch crumbles and dies, is stained or shattered.
Cinnabar noticed a soft *ping* from their phone.
Phos3.5:                    Heyyyyyy
Phos3.5:                    Im bored
Phos3.5:                    You’re not in class right
Cinnabar thought about it, about seeing Phos and knowing and being with them in person, not just behind a screen or from across the classroom. Phos was pure, innocent and kind. They wouldn’t want someone like them anyway.
Moonwalkerpatrol:     Actually, I’ve been thinking that this isn’t really sustainable.
Phos3.5:                    Busting out the big words? Haha
Moonwalkerpatrol:     Phos, I think it’s best if we don’t see each other on Sunday. This wasn’t going to work out anyway.
Phos3.5:                    I don’t get it, are you cancelling our date?
Cinnabar bit their tongue at the word ‘date’, forcing tears back into their eyes.
Moonwalkerpatrol:     Not just the date, I think we should break up.
Phos stared at the words in disbelief, everything was going fine, they didn’t have a fight or anything! Moonwalker couldn’t just… they couldn’t just leave like that.
Phos3.5:                    But why?
Phos3.5:                    What happened?
Phos3.5:                    We can work this out, talking is always the best, keeping everything inside isn’t going to help.
Phos3.5:                    Moonwalker?
Cinnabar couldn’t bear to look at the messages, turning off their phone and packing their things.
“Cinnabar!” Cinnabar spun around, trying to break the grip that Bort had on their arm, “It’s only lunch time, you aren’t going home are you?” Cinnabar bit back tears, forcing them to stay in their eyes and not drip down.
“And if I am? You can’t stop me.”
“Look, Dia is sensitive and cracks easily, but that doesn’t mean you can just run away from it.”
“This isn’t about Dia okay? Let me go!”
“No, I can report you to the teacher for trying to skip class and they’ll have record of it, do you want a black mark?”
“Oh, now you’re threatening me?” Cinnabar felt a trickle slowly make its way down their cheek. “Just leave me alone.”
Bort sighed and let go. Cinnabar didn’t bolt or run, just sat down and put their head in their arms.
“It’s okay to talk about it you know. I’m really bad with people but I won’t judge.” When Cinnabar turned their head slightly to peer at Bort the other had sat down and was looking at them with almost reassuring eyes, their words echoed Phos’s too much to ignore. Phos.
“I-I broke up with Phos.” Bort looked taken aback.
“Before or after the fight?”
“After. It’s just, whenever I do anything it just hurts everyone around me: Dia, you – I don’t want Phos to be the next one.” Cinnabar rested their cheek on their arms, eyes almost but not quite closed.
“Well firstly, it’s going to take a lot more than being a bit angry to hurt me, so I can be taken off your list of victims thank you very much.” Bort paused, sensing that it might not have been the best thing to start with. “But secondly, you have been nothing but kind to Phos. You’re a bit rough on the edges but it isn’t a guarantee that they’ll get hurt because you’re there, if that was true you would’ve hurt them by now from how long you tell me you’ve been together.”
“Phos deserves better than me.”
“I would actually argue that you could do better than Phos.” Cinnabar glared at Bort, who managed to get the point. “Either way, aren’t you hurting them way more by dumping them?”
Cinnabar felt like the world was sucking out their soul, slowly reeling it into the darkness.
“It’s better that I hurt them now rather than have them be hurt by me many times in the future.”
(Houseki No Kuni Gift Exchange!)
Phos was crying, while Antarc hugged them, seething with rage but trying their best to have a reassuring, comforting aura. They bit back insults towards Moonwalker as they knew it wouldn’t make Phos feel any better, but they sit were angry that anyone would hurt Phos like that.
“I-I don’t know *sniff* why they would do that. I- *sniff* I didn’t say anything wrong, did I?” Antarc handed them a tissue.
“You didn’t do anything wrong Phosphophylitte, in no way was it your fault.” Antarc bit back the unsaid ‘It was Moonwalker’s fault’. “Come on now, wipe your tears and toughen up. We can learn from this that unexpected things can happen, even if they are unpleasant. We can’t fight it; all we can do is stand up afterwards. So get up, that’s it.” Antarc helped Phos get on their feet, still blowing into the tissue. The warning bell rang, Antarc shouldered Phos’s things for them.
Cinnabar watched them walk into the class, Phos with red eyes and sniffing and Dia being quiet and down. They buried their head in their hands.
Antarc scanned the classroom, for once not paying attention to the lesson as much. There was only one class having a Biology test on Monday and that was their class, if Moonwalkerpatrol was from their school (which most likely they were telling the truth as they could chat with Phos about a particular teacher) then they would be in this class. Antarc heard Moonwalkerpatrol’s voice before, they could remember hearing something similar in one of their classes, but they couldn’t remember who…
“Could Bort’s group present next?” Bort nudged Cinnabar, who was the other member in the group.
“Is Cinnabar okay?” The teacher looked mildly concerned.
“They just,” Bort hesitated, “Didn’t get much sleep last night.”
Cinnabar sat up, “I’m fine,” they said quietly.
The two got to the front of the class and presented, Cinnabar said the information they needed to, in as loud a voice as they could since the teacher interrupted them several times to say they needed to be louder. The entire class’s eyes were on them, they could feel it. They could feel the stares, the whispers, Cinnabar glanced towards Phos, who was staring at them with slightly narrowed eyes, Cinnabar broke eye contact and looked away guiltily. That made them feel worse. The other groups did their presentations, they had another class, and finally the bell rang to signal the end of the day.
“Phos, you walk home first okay? I have something to do first.” Antarc said after class.
“Oh, okay.”
Antarc walked to the back of the classroom where Cinnabar sat.
“Hey.” Cinnabar jerked their head up, looking Antarcticite in the eye, that was another reason they knew it was Phos, because they were sure it was Antarc’s voice through the headset sometimes as well. They averted their eyes to their notebook. “You’re Moonwalkerpatrol aren’t you.”
Cinnbar nodded, with only the barest of movement to indicate confirmation.
“Are you trying to pick on Cinnabar?” Came Bort’s voice, with Bort glaring at Antarc, the two locked in a fierce battle with knives and swords and saws clashing.
“Cinnabar just dumped Phos over text with no indication why after they were the one to ask them to meet in real life. If that doesn’t sound like asshole material, I don’t know what will!”
“Cinnabar might seem like an ice queen, but they can’t be because you obviously claim that throne. They feel really bad about it, and literally only did that because they are an insecure person who for some reason doesn’t think they’re good enough for someone as lame as Phos!”
Cinnabar was surprised that Bort was standing up for them but with every word from either of their mouths they sunk lower into their chair, wishing they could disappear, wishing they could go away, wishing-
“SHUT UP! Both of you!”
Cinnabar looked up to see none other than Phosphophylitte them self, arms straight out beside them after stomping their foot.
“Phos, I thought you went back.”
“Well after I figured out who Moonwalkerpatrol was, did you really think I’d go? Antarc, I get that you care about me, and that you’re angry but this has nothing, nothing to do with you.” Phos grabbed Cinnabar’s hand, who was still in shock, and pulled them out of the classroom.
(Houseki No Kuni Gift Exchange!)
Cinnabar breathed out, with their breath appearing as a misty steam in the cold, winter air. They were still holding onto Phos’s hand, which wasn’t pulling at theirs anymore, there was no point for their hands to be linked except for the fact that it never felt right for them to let go. The silence was rather comforting, there was a hint of frost on the pavement and a cooling breeze. Cinnabar felt Phos shiver.
“Are you okay?” Cinnabar realised that Phos’s hand was cold and stopped.
“I’m fine, just a bit cold, I didn’t bring my jacket…” Cinnabar considered this, they hadn’t brought a jacket either, but something caught their eye.
“C’mon, let’s go inside.”
Both stepped into the Waffle House, the warmth washing over them.
“Ah, I have some money in my pocket, let’s get something.” Cinnabar hadn’t used their lunch money; they had decided to skip today, and lunch had been a bit hectic.
After both were seated with warm wraps and a milkshake, Phos decided to break the silence.
“I’ll pay you back.” They blurted, after having taken a bite and feeling a bit warmer.
“You really don’t need to; they don’t cost much anyway. Besides, I owe you.”
Phos put down their wrap. “Moony-kun, you don’t owe me anything, you know that right? Yes, I was upset, but not with you, just the fact that I didn’t know why. I understand now, and I still love you just as much.”
“Ah, see that, right there. You forgave me so easily. I don’t deserve that.”
“Yes, you do. That isn’t arguable. Now eat your wrap, it’s going cold and you look underweight.”
Cinnabar obediently bit into the wrap, it was genuinely delicious and filled Cinnabar with a warmth that coursed through their body.
“When did you become so responsible?”
“What do you mean? I’ve always been more mature than my age.” They both laughed, Phos trying to drink the milkshake and getting whipped cream on the side of their mouth due to not being able to stay still.
“There you go, being soooo grown up.”  Cinnabar said, using their thumb to wipe the whipped cream off, then promptly licking it off their thumb.
Phos gasped, “Moony-chan! - Cinnabar - that was an indirect kiss!”
“Well firstly, you can still call me Moony if you want to but my name is Cinnabar so you can call me whatever you like. Secondly,” Cinnabar leaned closer to Phos, “Aren’t we dating already?”
Phos turned as red as well, a Cinnabar, and made a failed attempt at hiding behind their wrap.
“So we are dating again. Good.” Phos lowered their wrap and looked at Cinnabar, “I’m really glad that Moonwalkerpatrol turned out to be you, you look prettier than your avatar in the game, and Aurora is pretty sexy.”
Cinnabar stared at Phos with their mouth agape, slowly flushing red. “You-you- when did you get smooth?!” Phos laughed at that and they continued chatting and talking as the clock moved its hands.
“I was planning on taking you here, they only have the blueberry delight waffle on Sunday,” mentioned Cinnabar.
“Same! For the exact same reasons! I guess if we went out on Sunday, we’d wouldn’t know what to do after Waffle House.
Just then the bells at the door dinged as it was opened, the two looked up as the shop had been fairly quiet. The two who came in were none other than Antarcticite and Bortz, bickering while holding twice the number of bags they should have been.
“Why would they come to the Waffle House?!”
“Well maybe not everyone is an ice queen and has warm blood running through their veins and so need some warmth!”
“That makes no sense, if your point is that humans are warm blooded creatures then that proves my point that your body can regulate its own body temperature.”
Antarc spotted Phos and Cinnabar, who were watching in amusement.
“There you are! You left and walked all the way here without your bag, money or even your jacket!”
“I’m fine, Cinnabar paid for the wraps and we talked things out. Everything is okay now.”
Bort and Antarc shared a look that wasn’t of pure hatred, and after putting the bags on the seats they both bowed.
“I’m sorry I got mad at you and yelled without knowing what happened.”
“I’m sorry for calling you lame and for yelling back without watching my tongue.”
Phos and Cinnabar looked at each other in pure amazement, then started to whisper to each other.
“I’m sure Antarcticite was the one who got Bort to do it, Bort has a ton of pride.”
“You clearly don’t know Antarc because when they think what they did was right they will never apologise.”
Phos noticed Bort and Antarc standing there awkwardly and pulled away, clearing their throat.
“Ahem. Cinnabar, should we accept their humble apology?”
“I believe we should.”
Bort sighed in relief. “Can we please get something to eat, those waffles are smelling really good right now.”
Antarc grabbed their wallet, “Yeah sure.”
(Houseki No Kuni Gift Exchange!)
“Hi Cinnabar~ Ready for Christmas break?”
“Yep! Ready to be done with school and finally try out that new action game.”
“You mean you haven’t tried it yet?”
Cinnabar looked at Phos in amusement. “We had like, four tests in the past week, where did you find time?” Cinnabar chuckled as Phos sputtered.
“Hi Cinnabar, hi Phos.”
“Good morning Dia,” Cinnabar greeted, Phos just waving as a reply.
“Where’s Antarc by the way?” asked Cinnabar.
“Something about making sure that the term-end project was the highest quality, they slept over at Bort’s place.” Phos grinned, “Isn’t a ‘class project’ the oldest excuse in the book for hanging out with someone?”
Cinnabar shrugged, “Hey, knowing those two they probably spent all that time actually doing the project.”
Right on cue Bort and Antarc arrived, panda-eyed and bickering as usual.
“Oh Phos, good to see you made it to school on time, hi Cinnabar.” Cinnabar waved and Phos greeted them back.
“Remember the rules,” reminded Bort.
“No flirting at the desk. We weren’t flirting though,” Cinnabar defended.
“Yeah, we were just wondering if you guys managed to complete your project.”
Bort and Antarc looked at each other, “Well we did, at 5am.”
“Who was it who wanted to add the history of it on top of everything?”
The two started bickering yet again, with Phos just shaking their head in mock disapproval and Cinnabar laughing.
“Those two just go into their own world don’t they.”
“Yep. Hey I came up with an experiment!”
“You and experiments. What is it?”
“Experiments are the only fun part of science okay? Anyway,” Phos took Cinnabar’s neck in their hands and they both kissed, deep and long with the warmness seeping in, enveloping both of them in a cosy feeling. When they were devoid of oxygen they broke apart, gasping for breath, simultaneously turning around to check for reactions.
“Aaaaaaand they’re still bickering.”
“If they didn’t notice that then they are definitely whipped.”
“Phos?”
“Hm?”
“I love you.”
“I love you even more.”
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sunsetsinhoenn · 6 years ago
Note
hiii I was wondering how Sal’s S/O would react to seeing his face under his mask for the first time?
thank you for sending something in for sally face *_* im nervous that his might not be that good, but I hope everyone likes it. 
if you are reading this on mobile, I am SO sorry… I usually edit any bunching of words on my phone so it’s easier to read, but the app won’t even let me do that anymore. if anyone knows how to stop tumblr from screwing with my posts… please tell me…. or i’ll… cry
Sal Fisher _ “expressions”
Ever since the two of you had begun dating, you realized that Sal was trying his best to make sure you both had enough time spent alone together. You both loved the rest of your friends, but you also loved each other a lot and the exclusivity of your relationship required time for the both of you to catch up together. Since you and Sal were just high school students barely going into your senior year, this time together usually took its place in the form of homework sessions or dates, but every so often there would come a time when no one else but you and Sal had any free time.
You loved these times.
“I get that your ghost friend is up here and all, but what enticed you to check the fifth floor out in the first place?” You said, slowly walking around and scoping out apartment 504. “It feels like if I accidentally get poked by whatever’s in here, I’ll get… rabies… or something.”
You heard your boyfriend chuckle where he stood by the bathroom patiently, watching you check things out.
“Well, I don’t touch anything I shouldn’t, that’s for sure. Although,” You turned your head quickly towards him, giving him a disbelieving look before he could even finish his sentence. “If I do find something interesting, I’ll take it. Random stuff pops up often up, here.”
You began walking towards him, content with your brief look-around, still eyeing him somewhat incredulously.
“That’s weird. Please tell me you carry around a little bottle of sanitizer in your pocket?”
You saw the bottoms of his eyes raise up behind his prosthetic, giving you the impression that he was smiling, but other than that he seemed rather straight-faced.
“I don’t! Are you ready to meet Megan?”
You shrugged, sighing a little.
“I suppose. You said she’s shy, though. What if she doesn’t want to meet me?” Still facing you, his hand went behind his back to land on the doorknob and turn it open.
“I’m hoping that she’ll sense how sweet you are and come out anyways. You’re cute too, so she won’t feel scared, either.” You blushed and he laughed again, walking backwards into the bathroom. With your mouth twisted into an embarrassed, tiny frown, you felt the tips of your ears turn red as well. Your boyfriend was sweet, but he really liked to lay the compliments on thick.
Following him inside, he closed the door behind the two of you and started speaking out. With the dim light of the bathroom and the fact that Sal was trying to summon a ghost, which you were pretty sure didn’t exist, you felt your nerves working up. It was just… so creepy and dirty in the bathroom and the only thing that kept your mind from running rampant was the sight of Sal right in front of you. If it weren’t for the calming image of his familiar prosthetic and blue hair, you would have bounced out already.
“Megan… are you sure you don’t want to come out? Y/N is really nice, they won’t hurt you or anything.” He turned towards you. “Do you want to say hi, to see if she might come out?”
“Um…” You fiddled with your hands, a little nervous. “H-hey, Megan. I’m Y/N… I won’t bite or anything. I-in fact, I don’t think I can, haha…”
…You were met with nothing but silence. Sal tried calling out once more as a last try to get her to come out, but received no response again. Part of you felt a little hurt for not being okay enough for Megan to come out for, but the other part was relieved, just a bit. Maybe Megan was able to sense that part of you that wasn’t ready to see her… Or maybe she didn’t. You didn’t really know.
You looked at Sal, who had been staring at you.
“She might be tired. Maybe you can meet her some other day.” You nodded, taking his hand and leading him out, rushing him a bit.
“As long as you’re with me. This place is creepy without the ghosts.” You took a few steps out of the bathroom and down the apartment to the exit.
“I don’t really like the idea of you coming up here without me, anyways. There hasn’t been any demons for a while, but this place can be dangero-“
With a shriek, you halted your steps and squished yourself against sal, frightened by the man sitting in the room. He looked like your average homeless man, but with darkness surrounding his eyes. You could tell that he wasn’t okay nor was he normal due to his subtle transparency and his crazed rocking back and forth.
“You need to leave.”
“W-what?!”
“There will be-“ It sounded as if his voice was echoed and distant, like from another world. You tried to take a step back, but ended up tripping over Sal and you both ended up falling backwards from the imbalance. Frantically, you panicked and got up, ignoring the man that had appeared suddenly in the apartments.
“Sal?! I’m sorry, are you okay?” He grunted a bit and said he was fine, but you could see that his eyes were closed and that he was trying to wipe something off. You noticed that there were dirt particles and other miscellaneous… unsanitary stuff on the ground, so you both got yourself back on your feet quickly and you pushed him out of the apartment as fast as you could.
“Come on, Sal! Let’s get to your apartment to take care of that.” Nodding, he followed you into the elevator and down to the floor below. The trip was quick, but you also noted the fact that his prosthetic had been moved on his face a little bit, revealing more of his left side and less of his right. You could see a scar popping out.
Once inside of his apartment, you guided him to his bathroom and made him sit on the toilet, so you could grab a rag and wet it.
“No, Y/N, I’m fine. You don’t have to help me. Really, I can take care of it.”
“But if it weren’t for me, you wouldn’t be having issues right now. I’m the clumsy idiot, please let me help you. Close your eyes.” He did as he was told and closed them hesitantly. As you kneeled in front of him, he leaned towards you, so you could clean it better. “I am… having a hard time cleaning this, though. Do you still feel dirt and stuff in your eyes?”
He nodded.
“I- yeah… I think some dirt might’ve gotten underneath too, though I’m not sure how that happened.” You continued dabbing at his eyes,trying to make sure that he wouldn’t get an eye infection because of your dumb actions.
“Well, your prosthetic did get turned a little.”
“It did?”
“Yeah.”
“…”
Sitting in silence for a few moments, he listened to you breathe as you worked. He had been thinking about this moment for a long time, shortly after the two of you had started dating. But no matter what scenario he had imagined in his head, it would always turn out bad. You would see his face, give a look of horror or disgust… and then run away.
No matter how kind he knew you were, no matter how sweet or open-minded you were, he could not foresee a good outcome to him removing his prosthetic, so showing you was something he had always procrastinated on. He knew that in order to be with you in the future, as more than just a high school couple, you would have to see him eventually, but it… scared him. A lot.
With a shaky hand, he gripped your wrist, silently telling you to stop. Slowly, you watched as he began removing the straps on the back of his head, and as your heart began speeding up for the second time that day, you watched with wide eyes as you saw his face for the first time.
His face was littered in scars, both small and big. You could see that the worst area was on the right side of his face, which was practically mauled. There was dirt on his face from the tumble you both took in apartment 504, but what drew your attention was his… expression. Part of his eyebrow was missing on the right side, but you could tell that he looked incredibly worried and scared and… that he was watching with bated breath on what you would do next. He was staring right in your eyes, wondering and waiting.
For some reason, you felt tears well up, and carefully you began cleaning his face again, having a much easier time without the prosthetic.
With a wide smile and a soft laugh, you spoke, a couple tears spilling down.
“Wow… you have dirt everywhere.” You quickly dabbed it away. “And… y’know, I’m really happy because now I finally get to say this with absolute confidence. I mean, I was able to say it before, but now that I’ve seen your face you are legally obligated to believe me when I say it.”
“Huh?” He looked at you, a little skeptical, but still worried. This was not a scenario that he foresaw. What are you saying? After setting the rag aside, you looked straight back into his face, your smile somehow growing wider.
“You are, without a doubt, the cutest boy I’ve ever met.” Your hands went up to cup his face. “I never really thought about it before because… the Sal I had always known was the Sal with the ‘mask’, but I can’t even begin to explain why I’m so happy to see you like this.”
He rolled his eyes, turning away from you.
“You don’t have to sugarcoat this, Y/N. I’m not cute. Don’t lie to me.” You frowned, turning his face back towards you. You would not accept him talking himself down like that.
“Sal, I am not a liar. I’m one hundred percent telling you the truth.” You raised an eyebrow, your demeanor becoming somewhat playful. “You’re my boyfriend and you are just. That. Handsome. I feel like giving you… a thousand kisses right now. Maybe even… a million.”
You laughed mischievously when you saw his cheeks turn a light shade of pink. You were glad he was pale, because it was easy to see. It was difficult to notice on the side that was heavily scarred, but you could from looking at the left side.
“Are you blushing, Sal? Is what I’m saying embarrassing?” You reached up and gave him a loud kiss on the forehead. “I’m sorry! I can’t help it!”
You heard him laugh and you glanced at him to see him smile at you. You could practically feel the arrow pierce your heart. You laughed as well, deliriously happy.
“I never really realized how much I wanted to see you smile. Thank you for showing me, Sal.” He gave you a deep kiss, tears falling down his cheeks.
“No, thank you.”
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ecmlol · 5 years ago
Text
Jude looks up Murray’s number in his phone and calls her.
At the devil’s playground Murray is sitting at the bar drinking a  club soda with lime when her phone rings.
“ thank god” murray quickly picks up her phone hoping it was Jude telling her she can go home,.
“ hey what’s going on?”
“I’m sorry no one told you.We are trying to keep things quiet for now.”
“ I saw officer snow come in looking for your in-laws but I couldn’t get to him in time to ask him what’s going on.”
“ I know it’s late but can you keep working. I know you have to be tired”
Murray sighs
“If I didn’t love working for you I’d say sorry I’m going home. So what can I do for you.”
“ thank you I promise when your contract it over I’m making you a official fixture in my life as my assistant and personal bodyguard.”
“Seriously?”
“Seriously and I’ll even get your car painted for you I know you love that old car of yours.” Actually Jude is going to pimp her ride for her at the west coast customs.
“ thank you thank you!”murray says with a huge smile on her face.
“I’m happy your happy. Now I need you to find Lionel and have her take you to my house I’m going to need a few thing.call me when you get to my house
“ all right I’m on it. Talk to you soon.”murray says before hanging up.
Jude finally see Noah’s room.
Marshal walks out and stands in front of the door with his arms crossed.
“ I don’t know what you could have possibly told my husband....” marshal says before reading the balloons.
Marshal stops what he’s saying and just stares at Jude.
Jude opens the video that he wanted to show Noah and hands his phone to Marshal.
“ here watch a video of your granddaughter” Jude says before side stepping his father in law.
A confused Marshal watches the video with a dumb look on his face.
Jude goes in and sees a nurse settling Noah into his room. He must have just arrive to the room .jude thinks to himself. Jude ‘s mind didn’t want to see all of the machines that are keeping noah alive at the moments he was hopping that Noah was awake and asking for him in some funny way. Jude wants to say I’m the “brown haired beauty he’s asking for . No such luck.
Noah has a neck brace on. There’s a cast on his right wrist and right leg. He’s on a ventilator.
The nurses both look over at jude.
“ hi”jude says with a small wave from the door.
The older of the two nurses females looks at jude and then back at noah.
“Can he hear me?”jude ask the nurse.
“He’s Still heavily sedated for the surgery.
The nurses steps away from Noah’s bed and heads to the door. Jude nods to them before placing the bear next to noah on the bed and the candy and balloons off to the side behind the bed.
“ I’m here love bug”jude leans over noah too get a better look at him.
Jude has never seen noah look so pale before.
The door opens behind Jude and marshal walks in and takes a seat on the other side of the bed.
Jude leans in and kisses Noah’s forehead.
“ my poor lovebug “ jude mutters to him
A doctor walks in and both Jude and marshal look up.
“Hi I’m doctor Karen Overly” She is about 5′7 with blonde hair and hazel eyes .
Jude and Marshal both greet her with a smile and a nod.
“I’m Noah’s doctor. He’s a very lucky man to be alive. There is no easy way to tell you this but he has suffered some damage to his lower back and spine. At the moment we are not sure how this is going to effect his mobility.” 
Jude checks out and just looks at Noah.
“ is my son paralyzed?” Marshal asks with a shaky voice 
“ there is a lot that point to him being paralyzed waist down. We still need to run a few test. Right now all of our test have been in conclusive.We were able to stop the internal bleeding. There shouldn’t be any lasting internal damage .
Jude is in shock. He can feel himself shaking.
All Jude can think about is Noah and his reaction to this piece of news.
A second later jude feel someone’s hands on his shoulders.
“ Jude ..I can’t imagine what must be going through your head right now.” Marshal says
Jude is having trouble breathing.
The doctor is about to say something when marshal holds his hand up to stop her.
Marshal kneels down in front of jude.
“ breath just breath Jude you need to keep it together. Look at me .Noah doesn’t need this and that little girl need you to be strong. You are the strongest person my son has ever been with. Make him proud that he picked as his husband. There is a time and place to fall apart and this isn’t it.“ marshal says before hugging Jude.
Jude needed the hug just as much as Marshal does.
Hugging marshal is a lot like hugging Noah but in a less intimate way.
Marshal rubs Jude’s back and then walks him to the bathroom so he can further calm down and splash his face with water. It takes about 10 minutes of pep talks and hugs for both marshal and Jude to get their heads straight.
Marshal is relieved that Jude needed him. As a father marshal is in shoack and being about to focus on his son in law helps him keep his calm.
The doctor I waiting patiently by Noah’s bedside.
“ sorry “jude says
“ did I hear you right that you have a daughter?”the doctor asked
Jude points to the balloons with a small smile
“ yes she was born today and is in the nicu he doesn’t even know yet.”jude explains
“ I can understand your reaction to your current situation. This is a lot to deal.” The doctor say.
“ yeah this is a lot to deal with we just got married less then a month ago.”
Doctor Overly walks over to Jude.
“ the only thing I can say is he has made it this far and he’s surprisingly stable which is amazing. Now that we got the hard stuff over the way I’ll inform you of his other injuries he has a broken wrist and a broken leg. He dislocated his shoulders. His pelvis is fractured you can’t see it he has a cast under the sheets and blanket.” The doctor shows the men in Noah’s life where the cast is on his pelvis area. His ribs are cracked and I has a collapsed lung.He a concussion too.
“ do you have a time line of when he might be about to leave the hospital and go home” Jude asked
“He’s going to need a lot of rehabilitation. His pelvis wont start to heal until about four weeks from now. He has a long recovery ahead of him, He will be here for at least 2 weeks if not longer.” 
“If you like I can head home and come back to help you with him in two weeks.” Marshal asked.
“I don’t know  can I think about it.” Jude say.
“Of course think about it.”
“Thank you.”
Jude thanks the doctor and has a seat next to Noah’s bed.
Jude almost forgot to take the video for Chester. Jude takes his phone out and makes a quick video to send to Chester. Jude sees that he missed a phone call from Murray.
Marshal watches Jude closely.
“Did you see what happened?”
Jude sighs.
“I was too far away to see any details,” Jude say just before leaning in and kisses Noah forehead.
“ I’ll be right back lovebug”
Jude heads to the door.
“What do I tell him if he wakes up.” Marshal ask.
“I’m not leaving I’m just stepping out to make a phone call.”
Marshal nods.
Jude steps out and dials Murray.
“hey Jude we are on our way. Lionel wants to talk to you”
“Jude what’s happened to my star reporter?”
Jude didn't need this right now.
“Its a long story but your going to need to find a replacement for Noah for the season.”
“what!”
“I have to go can I please talk to murray Lionel”
A second later Murray is back on the phone. Jude can hear lionel protest in the background.
“Hey what can I do for you?” Murray asked
“I need a change of clothes something I can sleep in and be in while I sit with noah. I need my laptop its charger and phone charger too. Call me when you get to the house I might think of a few other things to bring me.”Jude say
“Yes sir on it” Murray says before hang up.
Jude takes a deep breath and walk back in.
“ if you want to meet your granddaughter i won’t be leaving his side any time soon.he won’t be alone.”
“ that would be nice but I’m still in shock .”
Jude just nods.
A half and hour later . Marshal final gets up and leave . Jude can finally gets to be along with Noah.
It’s nerve racking to have your father in law staring at you.
“Noah noah noah never thought our first year of marriage would turn out like this. I’m going to find the best specialist I can find I promise ” Jude say
Jude’s phone vibrates.
It’s murray
Jude gets up and walks across the room.
“ hello”
Jude told murray what was going on through texting so she knows what’s going on.
“ hey I’m here I have your laptop and charger, your phone cord. Toothbrushes and tooth paste. Deodorant sweatpants I throw some snacks in a bag. Underwear for a few days. I hopes I’m getting the right cloths.”
“If it’s the xl and not the large then yes you are grabbing the right clothes. Thank you for thinking about food.i knew I sent the right person for the job..” jude says
“ no problem Im going to throw a shirt In for Noah too. “
“ good idea he’ll probably want to get out of the hospital gown at some point.”
”ok we are heading out.”
“ I’m texting the address to you now .”
“ ok see you in a bit”
“ wait”
“Yes?”
“ there is a room across from the gym go in and see if there is a baby hat inside.”
“ oh ok .” Murray says as she walks around looking for the gym . Lionel is right behind her when she opens the door.
The rooms is dark. She finds the light and flicks the switch. On the wall there are four swatches of color one pale pink ,one yellow ,one grey and one pale green. There is a giant box of wipes and a box of newborn diapers . A white dresser is standing in the corner.
“ what is all of this for?” Lionel say
“ wait I’m missing something.”murray says
“ she came early and her head isn’t covered.” Jude says not thinking her head would be too small for a newborn hat.
“ congratulations! Is she ok? Oh my god I’m so excited ”
“ congratulations? Wait they have a baby . How could he not have told me”
Jude can hear Lionel in the background.
“ can I talk to lionel please”
“ sure” Murray’s hands the phone over.
“ he wants to talk to you”
“ hello?”
“ hi thanks for helping her.
“ what’s going on?”
“ Noah was hit by a car”
“ what ? When”
“ about two hours almost three hours ago.”
“ oh my god is he all right?”
“ I’m not sure I can answer that honestly right now.”
“ hey be with your man we are on our ways”
Murray leaves the room to add a few things to the bag. Ten minutes later lionel and murray are on their way to the hospital to meet jude.
1 hour later Murray and Lionel finds themselves at the hospital. The car trip was a lot long then murray would have liked it to be. Lionel is quite as the head to the elevator. The door opens and Chester steps in.
“ hello ladies.”
“ Chester I’m so sorry”Lionel says with a hug.
“ thank you so much”chester says
“What exactly happen do we know who did it?”
“ I don’t know much to be honest. Honesty my head is spinning right now” chester runs his over his shaved head.
“Congratulations grandpa got any pictures “ murray ask
“ I have one better I have videos”
“ sweet “ murray says
Murray has known about the baby for about a week. She walked in on a conversation about where the baby was going to sleep at.
Flashback
It was a regular morning for murray as she approaches Jude’s office when her phone vibrates in her pockets . It’s not everyday that she received a text message. She stops right outside Jude’s door to check her messages. She stops and listens. She recognizes both people talking. Noah and Jude. She smiles to her self and thinks I have time for one message.its from her uncle it’s about dinner.
In the background
Noah is explaining the importance of having the baby in the master bedroom for atleast the first couples of months.
“ she is not sleeping in the bed with us Noah.”jude says
“ I agree but we could get a bassinet that can sit next to the bed.” Noah suggests
“ which side would we put it?”jude asked
“ I’m not sure we can figure it out when she gets here” noah say as Murray walks in.
“ congratulations I didn’t know you guys where expecting. I didn’t mean to eavesdrop but I was just outside the door texting my uncle real quick”
“ I guess the cats out the bag”noah says
“ I promise I won’t say anything to anyone.its not like I talk to anyone besides you two.
End of flash back
“ aww she’s so small” Murray says
“ I can’t believe it hell froze over “ Lionel says as they sees the video of Oscar holding the baby.
“It took a little talking to get him to do it but jude and Oscar have already bonded over her a little.”
“ they have?” Lionel ask
“ yeah it was good progress for them”
“ as long as jude is happy then I guess I’m here for it”Lionel say
Murray seconded that in her head. Her boss was a great guy and deserves to be happy. Murray thinks to herself.
They walked off on Noah’s floor and head down the hall. They spot jude pacing infront of the door to the icu. Chester gave jude a quick hug before enter the icu.
“ Jude “ Lionel say before hugging him.
Jude held on as tight as he could.
Lionel rubs his back and squeezed him a little tighter before letting him go.
“ all right what happened.Tell me everything”
Jude sigh
“ if I tell you ,you can’t report on this. Please keep this to yourself .”
“ are you kidding me this is news Jude. My star reporter was involved in an hit in run. If I plaster this everywhere maybe we can catch who did this.
Jude grabs Lionel’s arm and walks her away from the door.
“ I’m going to leave this up to noah but I’m planning on black mailing the driver .It’s up to noah if I do this which I hope he will”
“ Jude you know who it is?”
Jude nods
“ I sure hope you know what your doing.” Lionel says
“ I do. I just need noah to wake up. To tell me if I should or shouldn’t do this.”
“Jude becareful .Your a father now. You have to think of her.”
“ I am thinking of her Lionel. This will secure her future and my legacy.”
“Ok if you need anything let me know.”
“ I will .thank you.” Jude says before looking for murray
Murray waves when jude finds her still standing at the elevator.
Jude Mets her half way.
“ hey I hope I got everything you needed.” Murray says as she hands over the book bag she found at Jude’s.
“ looks like you found everything plus some.”
“ I brought you everything i could think of”
Jude opens the bag and looks in it.
“ prefect thank you. Go home and get some rest . Tomorrow I have a meeting with zero and Derek and pax. I should be ok. I’ll ask Lionel to hang out with me so you can have a day off.”
“Ok see you Monday?”
“ yeah if anything changes I’ll let you know.”jude say
“ all right how things are going I’ll go straight to bed because I have a feeling you are going to need me .” Murray says before leaving.
When murray reaches the elevator patty and justice walks out .
“ hey he’s right over there.” Murray tells them.
“ thank you so much” patty says as she walks towards Jude who is now sitting in the waiting room.
Jude looks up and sees Justice running up to him.
“ hey sis“
Jude hugs her.
“ I’m tired”
“ me too “ jude says
“ baby I’m so sorry”
Jude gets up and hugs patty.
“ where is noah at ?”
“ in his room only two people can be in there at a time”
“ ah well we can sit with you for a while.” Patty says
“ thanks but I want you to meet someone”jude says as he puts on his backpack that murray gave him.
Jude starts to walk to the elevator.
“ Jude?”jude turns around and sees Chester behind them.
“ hey”
“Lionel is taking me to your house and having her driver bring me back in the morning.”
“ ok thank you noah told me the guest room is ready for you.”
“ No need for both of his dads to be here. You need to be in there.Chester says
“ your right I’ll see you later”jude says before he keeps walking. Patty waves
“ I’m so sorry about noah” Patty say
“ thank you” chester says
Jude patty and Justice board the elevator.
“ so.. where are we going”
“ you will see” Jude said
Half way there jude picks up a tired Justice.
“ by the way I got you something for your birthday but you can’t open it here.”
“ oh “ jude say with tired curiosity.
“Ahh the nicu?”
“ yes”
“ why are we at the nicu”patty says completely confused.
“ well I figured you should meet your granddaughter before you leave in the morning “
“My what!” Patty says loudly
Jude stops and shushes her.
Patty rolls her eyes.
“ Jude wait wait wait what are you talking about?”
“ Noah and I have a daughter she was born yesterday “jude says as he looks at his watch.
“ your kidding I’m a grandma I’m a grandma!”patty jumps up and down.
Jude stops walking until patty can calm down.patty is doing a little dance outside the nicu door.
“ ok ok I’m good why didn’t you tell me!does your father know. Of course her does.”
“ I haven’t known about her very long and we didn’t even tell lionel until today. Yes my father knows but no one could find you to come to the hospital “
“Oh ok so did you adopt?”
“ well it’s complicated “
“ ah how? You do know how babies are made. I know I never had the talk but I figured you figure it out by now” Patty say
“ Very funny.well I need to speak to noah before I can confirm or speculate about anything to do with her.
“ oh ok. Let go see my granddaughter!”patty says with a huge smile.
As they enter the nicu patty rambles about what she wants to buy. All Jude can do is smile.
“I’ll have to stay with Justice no one under 14 is allowed to hold her”jude explains.
“ oh ok. I get her all to myself.” Patty says with a huge smile on her face.
Jude explains all of the rules before he has a seat in the common area with justice.
Jude watches patty as she goes into the locker room before taking his backpack off and relaxes on the couch. Jude is careful not to wake up Justice.
Finally,maybe I can relax for a few minute. Jude thinks. A few minutes turn into a hour of shut eye for Jude and Justice.
“ Jude honey?” Patty reaches out and rubs Jude’s cheek.
Judes stirs a little.
“ baby wake up”
“ I’m up I’m up” jude sits up and rotates his neck.
“ she’s gorgeous jude”
“ thanks I wish I can say I had some part in that”jude says.
1 note · View note
angelicrebelsworld · 5 years ago
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Tite Photography
What services do you offer?
5 hours ago
Im Am my Own Attorney Sir!! (PRO SE) THAT WHAT HAPPENS IN CIVIL COURT.. CRIMINAL COURT THEY APPOINT YOU AN ATTORNEY!! DID YOU MISS THE MEMO. NOW YOU WHERE IN COURT WITH ME WHEN THE JUDGE GAVE THE BRIEFING SCHEDULE ORDER WTF WOULD I BE CONTACTING YOU IF YOU DIDNT OWE ME MONEY. BECAUSE YOU DO NOT REPEAT OWN A BUSINESS NAMED (TITEPHOTOGRAPHY) & ive Already FILED MY COMPLAINT AGAINST YOU. I DNT HAVE A LETTER STATING I OWE YOU SHIT. AND I HAVE FOLLOW SHIT. (FYI) BECAUSE THE ORDER IS BASE OF MY RESPONSE TO THE HEARING WE HAD DEC 19, 2020V@ 9:15AM FOR YOUR DAMAGES.. NOW SUMBODY IS GONNA TELL ME HOW THE FUCK I OWE YOU MONEY AND CAUSE YOU DAMAGES ON A BUSINESS YOU BROUGHT NO PROVE TO COURT YOU OWN.. NO TAX DOCUMENTS/ PERMITS/LICENSE. JUST NOW THIS WHAT I SENT YOUR ATTORNEY. NOW IM NOT SURE IF YOU GOT THE MEMO!! OR A CERTIFIED LETTER FROM LAYWER. HOW DID YOU PROVE YOUR CASE?? I HAVE RECEIPTS(CERTIFIED)💪 NOW THIS IS THE SECOND TIME I SPOKE YOU IN A WEEK.. IF YOU DIDNT KNO YOU HAVE BEEN SERVED📷🎯📷 (PERSONAL SERVICE) YOU BE HEARING FROM ME SOON AGAIN. TRUST😘
5 hours ago
5 hours ago
I’ll let you figure it out in court. I have noted this as harassment. If there is anymore that you need to say i advise you to go through the court.
5 hours ago · Sent from Mobile
I already have.. Please call the court OR HAVE YOU ATTORNEY CALL ME PLEASE IVE SENT HIM PLENTY OF EMAILS. PLEASE BECAUSE I WANT A RESPONSE MY MOTION I FILED. AND THE COURT ORDER I FOLLOWED&/FOLLOWING😘
5 hours ago
5 hours ago
Let me help you out. We went to court dec 18 2019.
5 hours ago · Sent from Mobile
My motion ABOVE WAS WHAT WAS SUMMITED ON THE 30TH. HOW CUD YOU GET A JUDGEMENT WITHOUT MY LETTER GETTING A RESPONSE.
5 hours ago
as far as the case goes i have nothing i need to do. But imma tell u again you shooting yourself in the foot by creating pages with my name and constantly harrsssing me. So keep on you not doing nothing but giving me more abs more evidence to show the judge.
5 hours ago · Sent from Mobile
YOU WAS FILED IN OPEN COURT @ THE HEARING FOR DAMAGES. HE HEARD YOUR SIDE. AND GOT MY LETTER AND SENT ME NOTHING. WHICH IS WHY IM CONTACTING YOU. SO WE CAN GET THIS SHIT SETTLED..
*yours
5 hours ago
Oh so u gonna play stupid . I would try to help you understand but you so hell bent on whatever cause u think you got u won’t listen .therefore i can’t help. Can’t talk to a brick wal
5 hours ago · Sent from Mobile
Show him i want you to. Please 🙏 So We Can Get this Settled.. Im not dropping shit. So the Faster you bring it back up in COURT WOULD BE BETTER.. IM NOT WORRIED
THATS IS YOUR BEST BET😘 BECAUSE I HAVE NO ORDER FROM THE JUDGE👌
Im playing stupid.. Im READY 2 DEFEND.. WHERES MY FUCKING JUDGEMENT LETTER THEN. WHERE YOUR PROVE.
5 hours ago
I’m not worried . As far as the judgement letter i can send u a copy . Makes me no difference since you swear you didn’t get but since your suck the investigator why u didn’t pull it off the court website it’s public record
5 hours ago · Sent from Mobile
Thats not how that work. Its get sent to me its a legal document. But im playing stupid😂😂😂
I dnt have 2 go online i went to the court house and seen the file😘
Its called service of process google it
5 hours ago
If you didn’t get that has nothing to do with me . Your a grown woman if you know the judgement was out there you should get in you car and go to the court and find out what happen. Nevertheless a judgement was made against a u i also told u and u still decided to post, contact me and all of that. I advised u to stop but don’t listen . Your choice i will have my lawyer bring another case it’s fine but you will see. If you don’t then i don’t know what to tell u
5 hours ago · Sent from Mobile
5 hours ago
I’m not interested in your legal education that you gain in under a year. Funny that you got so smart legally but you don’t know that all the stuff you doing is considered harassment . What you gonna do when the judge ask u Mrs smith why did you keep contacting me howard? Why did you create pages similiar to his and your not a photographer? I’ll be interested to see what your answer will be.
5 hours ago · Sent from Mobile
Oh but it does have to do with you. Service of process is what you paid a attorney for.. The FUCK THE REASON IM CONTACTING YOU. BECAUSE IVE CONTACTING HIM ALREADY EITHER WAY I NEED THAT LETTER OR WE NEED 2 BE IN A COURTROOM FOR MY MOTION REPLY IF THERE IS ANY CONFUSION CAUSE I NEED A RESPONSE TO MY MOTION. WHICH THE PROBLEM SEEM TO BE YOUR ATTORNEY..
5 hours ago
And you dnt own a photography business i what ive Already SAID IN MY MOTION/LETTER AND IF HE ASK ME IMMA TELL & HIM & YOUTHE SAME SHIT THE FUCK!!!
Without SERVICE OF PROCESS BEING WE ALREADY BEEN TO COURT.. HOW WOULD THAT FALL UNDER HARASSMENT I WOULD CALL LEGAL ABUSE. BECAUSE THATS WHAT IT IS👌
4 hours ago
4 hours ago
You need to look up what all consist of owning a business. Then get back with me . Anyway like i said i can send you the letter since you swear you didn’t get it . If not then go get it from the court. Your choice and u keep hitting this book button. Exactly what I’m talking bout harassment
4 hours ago · Sent from Mobile
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I will leave this stream open if you need to contact me this way you will have to answer in court to every thing you contact me about. Not gonna keep blocking you and your 50 pages . Let me know if you need that letter i got you .
4 hours ago · Sent from Mobile
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I Appreciate you Leaving a Way to contact you FORMALLY I REALLY DO. AND YES I NEED THAT LETTER😘 THANK YOU. BELIEVE OR NOT I DONT GOT NO PROBLEM WIT YOU. LETS JUST GET THIS SHIT TAKING CARE OF!
4 hours ago
4 hours ago
I aint hit or hitting no book button. What are you talking about?
Im talking to you now. What are you talking about? Im not even on your Titephotography page. Im in your inbox typing you
4 hours ago
Ok so if you don’t have no problem with me for real why you creating pages? Trying to befriend my family members and all that ?
4 hours ago · Sent from Mobile
Check your email i have sent it to you
4 hours ago · Sent from Mobile
I need it sent from the judge OR YOUR ATTORNEY to me in order for me to FOLLOW IT. I APPRECIATE THE COPY😘 THANK YOU!! I BE IN TOUCH!! I MESSAGE YOU ON HERE TO FOLLOW UP..
AND WHEN DID YOU GET YOUR LETTER?
4 hours ago
Did you get my Email?
3 hours ago
Terrible u done created that emails you can’t keep up with em
you didn’t answer my question ?
2 hours ago · Sent from Mobile
I can KEEP UP!! ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS HIT REPLY AND SEND THE PICTURE OF THE LETTER.. I THOUGHT YOU GOT CONFUSED.. SO I ASK YOU NICELY IF YOU COULD IT AGAIN. NOW I TRYING TO NOT TALK CRAZY TO YOU.. AND GET THIS HANDLE I DNT NEED YOUR SMART ASS COMMENTS TALKING BOUT I CANT KEEP UP WIT MY SHIT..
2 hours ago
Wel u choosing when to talk you blocked me until u needed the paper but you still avoiding my question i asked
2 hours ago · Sent from Mobile
Im choosing when to TALK?! we Are & Was In A Legal Dispute.. YOU CANT HAVE IT BOTH WAYS EITHER I BLOCK YOU OR YOUR BLOCKING 50 ACCOUNTS OF MINES WHICH ONE IS IT?
2 hours ago
Ok so u right we are in a legal dispute . So i can have the lawyers battle out. I’m baffled as to the point of all the extra stuff u doing . Still lost on this entire thing . I sent u the order to your email go through and check all of them I’m going to bed . I tied to many times to try and be civilized with you about this but you just keep pressing. The issue of nothing.
2 hours ago · Sent from Mobile
CAN WE HANDLE ONE THING @ A TIME... CAN I GET THE EMAIL YOU SAID YOU SENT? PLEASE!! THE EMAIL WAS 1ST. THING IS WHY I HAVENT ANSWER YOUR QUESTION!!
2 hours ago
No it actually wasn’t i asked u the same question i just first presented as if u had to answer it in court .
And like u said it should come from the judge you can get it from them i sent it to the email i had on file for you. I can’t help you any further since your picking and choosing. What to address and what not to
2 hours ago · Sent from Mobile
Which email is that if its not from one from [email protected] because my other accouts are disabled.. If Its not one of the emails accounts i just reply & CC You👌(FYI)
1 hour ago
Not my problem
1 hour ago · Sent from Mobile
The Judgement the only thing we need 2 be ADDRESSING THE FUCK!! DNT U WANT YOU MONEY & YA COURT ORDER FOR HARASSMENT.. I CANT FOLLOW SOMETHING I DIDN'T GET. SO THAT ON YOU GUD NIGHT IM JUST TRYING TO GET THIS SHIT TAKING CARE OF I FIND A WAY. THANKS AWAY😘
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U told the court u have no income . So what money ? U swore u had no job so what money? Ur know so much law that you should know you shouldn’t do anything to affect your case but you still posting stuff that you went to court bout. Still slandering my name . Amongst other things. So don’t try to play me with u just trying to get it all handled if that was the case you would go to the court house and find the judgement
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1 hour ago
http://m.me/titephotograhy
Tite Photography
Photographer
Send Message
1 hour ago · Seen 4:10 AM
1 note · View note
spnfanficpond · 6 years ago
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Survey results and responses
A couple of weeks ago, we put out a survey to get a feel for some things, and we got over a dozen responses! Thanks to everyone who responded and told us what you’re looking for! 
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There were some responses that we would like to get some clarification on, and some responses that requested things we’ve already got out there. Below the cut is a rundown of some of the questions and responses, along with links to things that already exist and plans to enact some of the things you’ve suggested. 
If you responded to the survey, please read below! We need your input!
1. What things related to posting your works on Tumblr or other sites would you like to learn more about? For example, Keep Reading cuts, finding gifs, giving credit to gif and edit creators, etc.
A tutorial for adding Keep Reading to fics, both on a computer and on the app, would be helpful.
How far down should I put a keep reading?
Anything related to gifs
Best apps or sites to use for making gifs.
Finding gifs and giving credit to creators
when should I give someone credit for being a beta (for example: I bounced ideas with someone for a minute or two but they didn't technically beta read it; I can't decide between X and Y (with no context), pick one)
linking posts to blog bios
The facts on the search issues (re: links, tags, and anything else that keeps a fic from being "searchable") - I see people saying various things, so sourced facts would be nice, if possible
These are great requests, and we’ll do our best to address them in the next LiveChat Event!! There were some requests that we’ve already addressed, so here’s some links to those:
What should I be including for reader info, eg: Warnings? Word Count? Summary? Characters...? - Suggested Format for Fics
Feedback - December 2018 LiveChat Recap (Feedback and Beta Reading)
Building an audience/gaining exposure - November 2018 LiveChat Recap (Reader involvement)
There was one request for “troubleshooting”, but we’re not sure exactly what’s meant by that, so if you requested this, please send us an ask or an IM and clarify what kind of troubleshooting you’re curious about!
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2.  What tags would you like to see our "#writer resources" tag broken down into? For example, grammar, publishing, etc. (Currently, we only have a couple of tags that are used consistently to tag posts that are reblogged from other blogs, like writing prompts and reference posts we think might be useful for our members. We would like to make finding information easier by refining our tags so posts about grammar aren't mixed in with posts about publishing, for example.) Please list below any tags that you think would be helpful for us to use to make these posts easier to find when you're looking for them.
Word choice/vocabulary
Grammar
Synonyms
Spelling
Punctuation
Editing
Tutorials
Challenges
Tips
Inspiration
Publishing
Plot
Characterization/character development
World building
Genre tags like romance, action, horror, etc.
Dialogue
All of these are great! We’ve got some questions about some of the others that were suggested, though. If you can send us an ask or an IM and clarify about these, we’d love to hear from you!
Writing Prompts - This tag is already in use. 
How to format - How to format what? Need some clarification on this.
Getting started - With what? Is this like inspiration or something different?
Brainstorming - What kinds of posts would be under this tag?
Comments - What kinds of posts would be under this tag?
Awards - We already have a tag for the AFA’s, so is this for something different?
We’d love your feedback on these ones we’re unsure of, so let us know!
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3.  Is there anything you wish was easier to find on the blog?
Maybe a list of frequently used tags on the FAQ page so I'm not blindly trying tags when I try to search for something.
Once we get a set list of tags we’ll be using, there will be a post or page listing them with links. First step is setting up the list, which is why we asked question #2. We’re on the right track!
New pond member stories. 
By stories, do you mean fics they’ve written, or info about who they are? We post a list of new Pond members with links to their work every month. You can check them out here. If this isn’t what you’re looking for, please send us an ask with some examples!
The submit box!
Are you on desktop, mobile, or the app? Please send an IM to @mrswhozeewhatsis or @manawhaat about this so we can help you and figure out why it’s not easily accessible for you!
I wish ships and pairings were tagged so I can easily filter and find fics submitted to the pond.
This is something we’ve considered, but it’s been on the back burner while we focus on other issues. Someday, we would like to be a blog for readers, not just writers, and instituting a tagging system for fics would be part of that. Setting that up, though, will be a big project, since there are so many ships and tags to consider. How to do it without making the submit page four miles long with tag options is another hurdle. This is on our radar, but it might be a while.
I wish some things like pond members, tag list, and writing resources were easier to find on mobile./ Links are difficult to find on mobile.
The problem with the member lists is that they are pages, not posts, because pages are easier to manage than posts. Posts are slippery things that can be lost if we’re not careful, whereas pages are rooted in the blog where we can’t lose them. Sadly, the app can’t read pages, for some reason.
Another problem is that the app can’t handle a navigation block. Short of filling the bio with a ton of links, which gets very messy and hard to read, there’s no way to make these links available on the app.
That being said, if you access Tumblr via a browser app like Chrome on your phone, all of these links are available at the top of the blog! Not only are they available, the member rolls and everything you can’t see on the app are completely accessible!
Mobile friendly versions of beta and tag lists? The spreadsheets are awesome, but a little hard to read.
Spreadsheets are the only way we know to allow users to filter, which is a major part of the functionality of both lists.  If you’ve got suggestions for how to do this, we’re open to them!
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4.  Is there anything you'd like to see more or less of on the blog?
More thesaurus/synonym like posts. For those that struggle to use other words for_____ and want to.
Interesting! We don’t see many posts like that out there, so this might be content we’d have to create. Perhaps we could solicit words from our members and create posts like this based on those suggestions? What do you think?
I think it would be good to expand the tags for submissions to include more info, like more specific other trigger categories, things that are typically taboo that a reader should know about, if the story is smut/angst/fluff, etc.
This was mentioned and addressed above, so we won’t repeat it all here.
I'd like to see more writing prompts.
More than just what’s in the #writing prompt tag? We’ll need more clarification on this one!
More things about the community like fic recs, nominations, maybe get-to-know pond member posts.
Since we’ve already got the Angel Fish Awards and the monthly New Members posts, which both include fic recs, we’ll need some clarification on what you’re looking for there. As for posts about getting to know individual pond members, this sounds like a great idea! We’re open to suggestions on how to choose what members get chosen!! Send us an ask with your ideas!!
I wish there were more active big fish in the pond.
Being a Big Fish is a big responsibility, and we understand that not everyone is up to it. We ask that our Big Fish be consistently kind and generous with other members, spend some time every month in the chat room so Guppies and Jellies can ask them for help, signal boost posts when asked, assist with Pond projects when requested, be involved with the Angel Fish Awards, and like/reblog fics by other Pond members. Doing all of that AND having a life outside of Tumblr can be a lot. 
Because of all of that, we don’t usually approach Jellies and ask them if they’d be interested. We wait for Jellies to come to us. It’s a big thing, and we don’t want to pressure folks. If someone is interested, they should read this post about how Big Fish are chosen, and let us know that they are interested!
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5. What kinds of prizes would you like to see more of in the monthly Angel Fish raffle?
Not sure what's currently being given away.
It changes slightly every month, and we make a post with the list of prizes. The post for June hasn’t gone up, yet, so keep an eye out on the blog!
I think it would be fun to incorporate Pond members that create stuff (like that have etsy shops or stuff like that) into the raffle.
If members would like to donate things from their shops as prizes, we would welcome them! 
Hmm maybe a fic commission from a big fish? (If they’re open. Or anyone the winner might want to commission, not just big fish. Also specifically one where the writer’d still get paid in lieu of buying another physical prize lol.)
This is an interesting idea, and we’re considering it from a few different angles!
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6. Are there any topics you would like to see discussed in the monthly LiveChat events?
There was only one response to this one that we need some clarification on: 
Outlining series, how to give feedback, how to make your fanfics flow
We talked about Planning vs. Pantsing back in March, so check that out, and if it doesn’t give you what you’re looking for about outlining, let us know! As for feedback, we talked about Feedback and Beta Reading in December. Your last suggestion sounds interesting, but we need maybe an example of what you’re talking about to be sure we know what you’re looking for. Send us an ask and tell us more about your flow questions!
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7. Is there anything else you'd like to tell us? Suggestions for improvement? Let us know here!
I love the Pond and I love the community that has been built from SPN. I feel like Big Fish are active (which they should be) and then a handful of people (category unknown, but I suspect they are Guppies) seem to be kind of active, but based on the descriptions Jellyfish seem like they should have a role as well. Could we do something with Live Chat where a Jellyfish helps answer questions or host with a BF maybe? JF should be approachable too but if we don't know them then it's hard to ask them anything and they seem just as intimidating as a BF. (BF are less intimidating to me because they interact with everyone more often actually). *shrugs* I don't know, maybe that's just me.
This is a tough one. Jelly Fish are basically Big Fish without the responsibility. (See above about Big Fish and our expectations of them.) We’ve focused on Big Fish with the LiveChats, but we aren’t against the idea of having Jelly Fish chat with us, too. (In fact, three of our events have featured Jellies.) This will take some thought to find ways to encourage Jelly Fish interaction. All suggestions are welcome!
I feel like a quarterly raffle would give more people time to vote/enter. Doing it every month feels a bit over saturated. Unrelated, but a Discord server would be nice. In my experience, those feel more open to community than a Skype chat bc there are different chats that people can interact in and it’s easier to moderate.
A quarterly raffle is totally doable, though the AFA’s will remain monthly. Would that still sound good?
Michelle has had learning Discord and setting up a server as the next thing on her to do list for three months, but just hasn’t had the time to sit down and learn (you know, when normal people are available to teach her, not the crazy hours she keeps). Kale is on Discord for other things, but is also just a beginner. We’re working on it! Discord is coming!!
If answering questions from surveys or comments or submissions in the live chat (or even interesting questions) could you post the question and answer on the blog for those that miss the chat and don’t want to/can’t scroll through it all to read everything.
You mean like the Recaps to the Monthly LiveChat Events?
I think it's great you put out these surveys. Maybe a designated suggestion option? You have the list for betas, how about a list of those that create aesthetics or art for fics?
These are awesome ideas!! Putting them on the to-do list!!
I think the Pond is really good, I just wish I knew/interacted with more people who are in it.
Tell us what would better enable you to interact, and we’ll see what we can do!
I'd suggest something to motivate people to take the time to submit to the pond? I feel like nobody hardly does it anymore, including myself, because it feels like nobody really interacts through the pond anymore.
The admins have discussed some ideas about this, but haven’t found a solution they can all agree on, yet. One admin suggested limiting Angel Fish nominations to fics that were submitted to the blog. Don’t submit, you can’t be nominated. One of the other admins hated the idea, and the third abstained. The only other suggestion has been to increase readers of the blog so writers have more incentive to submit to reach a larger audience. As mentioned above, we’re working on ideas towards that goal. What suggestions might you guys have? Another raffle for prizes? 
Just maybe add a few more big fish? If that's possible? Maybe more interaction with everyone to make them feel like a part of the pond. 
See above about adding more Big Fish. We need volunteers who are willing and able to keep up! Beyond trying to keep the chat room active, we could use some suggestions about how to increase interaction! Give us your ideas!!
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That’s a lot to read, and kudos to you if you made it this far!! Thanks to everyone who responded to the survey, and we look forward to hearing more from you all!!
26 notes · View notes
mirrorballparkers · 7 years ago
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dorky love notes ➵ t.h
my masterlist :)
authors note → hdjsjck i’ve never written for tom and i wrote this on mobile but i thought this idea was cute ya know tom makin u all shy while ur trying to wOrk and he's cute so u can imagine why
wc → i might’ve gone overboard sjjckx 2147
warnings → tom being a complete dork, duh.
summary → during a long and tiring shift at your job, a cute and familiar face shows up and messes up your whole game. in a good way.
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you had been at this cozy, warm cafe working since eight in the morning, and it was currently only three in the afternoon. although you enjoyed working here, you wanted to go home to your boyfriend more than anything; to run your hands through his brown curls, watching television for hours and hours on end.
as you’re wiping down the coffee machines with a sanitary rag, you quietly hum to yourself as you hear the familiar jazz instrumental play in the background. that’s what you adored about working here; it was never too crowded, the people were always nice, and the music they played was always so quiet and relaxing. you were so invested in cleaning the bar area; the angelic sound of sinatra playing in the background, that you didn’t even hear the bell sound the door made.
“hey, someone needs to get their order taken. i can take over here, hon.” your coworker stands beside you, holding out their hand for you to give them your washcloth to.
you give them a friendly smile back, thanking them in return as you quickly grab an apron hanging from the back wall and making your way to the register, having no idea who’s order you were just about to take.
“hi! what can i g-“ before you could finish your sentence, your face immediately grows warm as you come face to face with your boyfriend, tom. flushed face, the familiar butterflies growing in your stomach - you stare at him starry-eyed as you’re trying to form a coherent sentence.
the brown eyed cutie giggles as he tilts his head, his smile telling a story as always. “hi, can i get...one cute girlfriend of mine to go?” tom always knew how to make you incredibly bashful, but right now was not the time.
“tommn,” you whined, fiddling with the sharpie laying on the counter. “what’re you doing here?” you question shyly as if it wasn’t obvious that he wanted to see you. had you known he was coming, you’d actually try to look your best; but, your hair was messy, the required uniform consisted of a boring colored shirt, khakis, and a ridiculous hat that made you look twelve years old; not to mention you had zero makeup to cover the bags under your eyes.
but tom still thought you were looking utterly adorable and pretty. he always did.
he shrugged cutely, brown eyes brighter than ever, and they were only bright when he saw you. he, on the other hand, looks adorable. he was dressed casually, in a basic hoodie, jeans, and his hair was all messy and curly due to the rain from earlier. so cute. “haven’t seen ya, all day, love. i missed your face. also, your humming was cute. was that our song? fly me to the moon?”
you scrunch your nose up, feeling your cheeks flare up and mess with the keyboard from the cash register in front of you, pressing random buttons as you avoid eye contact with tom. didn’t help, he knew you were shy. “it might’ve been. and are you just saying that because you want a free coffee?”
“i don’t even want a coffee, i just wanted to see you.” he laughs, swinging his arms back and forth as he gives you a wide, goofball grin. “what time are you off, babe? maybe we can go for a nice walk? oh! on my way here, i saw some flowers! peonies, your favorite. i thought of you.”
“don’t,” you try not to smile as you lift up your index finger, “don’t do that, tom. i’m working.” you shake your head as you blush profusely.
“aw don’t do what? all i’m doing is talking to my pretty girl!” tom spoke in a warm, angelic tone. but also slightly teasing. all he wanted to do was snuggle you and kiss you all over - and he couldn’t wait to do that later on. his girl.
“that! you cannot make me all...flustered while i’m trying to do my job.” before tom could answer, you hear someone behind you clear their throat. turning around, your eyes widen as your supervisor had their arms folded and a blank stare at you. never in your life had you been more embarrassed and mortified; surely it wasn’t toms fault, you’d never blame this on him. you just were embarrassed that she was about to scold you in front of your boyfriend.
“oh, hi. sorry, i was uh -“
“not taking the next customers order - there are two people behind him and you’re wasting their time.” they snapped, turning to the other to people in line and giving them an apology for you taking too long. luckily, none of them were impatient nor rude and just smiled back.
you rub your forearms, embarrassed, and turn back to tom as you see the soft, worried look on his face; the kind where you just wanted to hug him and tell him it was okay. kind of like when you scold your puppy for getting into the couch cushions and instantly feel bad for being rude because they’re so soft and warm - never would harm a thing in the world.
that’s how tom looked, his brown eyes with green and yellow specks - an utter dream. the last thing he wanted was for you to be upset with him. but you were far from it.
“gah..i’m sorry, y/n. if i had k-“ tom starts to ramble on about him being wrong for messing with you while you were on duty, but you shushed the cute boy.
“don’t apologize, it’s okay tom. my boss is just a jerk.” you giggle nervously. “uh, do you mind..waiting for me? i only have like... forty-five minutes left.” you question, bouncing on the balls of your feet.
“yeah of course! i’ll uh..just go wait at a table. go ahead, cutie.” tom gave you a warm smile as he stuffed his hands in his front pockets and waved at you, walking over to the nearest table.
“hi, im sorry about the wait.” you apologized to the customer and proceed to take their order.
as you’re writing down the customers name on the cup, you felt his pretty eyes on you; butterflies forming, shaky hands, red cheeks as you try to write the name but only for you to drop the stuff in your hand - causing a little scene.
 tom couldn’t help but snort at the scene in front of him, “dork.” he mumbled to himself as he doodled a little on the napkin in front of him.
 you glance over at him and attempt to glare, only to just simply wave shyly at him. no way you could be upset at him. he waves back at you, mouthing, “get to work, doofus.” you roll your eyes as a lame try to avoid blushing and smile wide as you get the customers coffee ready.
while making the customers drink, you look over at tom who is smiling at you. smiling back at him, you didn’t notice the countertop right in front of you - your body bumping right into it, making you drop the cup for the billionth time in the past five minutes. embarrassed, you tell the customer that you’re fine and adjust yourself quickly. you were a flustered, dorky mess around tom and there was no way to fix it.
tom pouted to himself as he saw you struggle, adoring how shy you had quickly become in the last half hour. he adored you.
see, tom admires the small things; the way you smile at the customers and how kind you were, even if they were being grumpy. you were always kind to everyone and that was something he adored so much about you. he noticed that you had a habit of not making eye contact with people, being very bashful and timid.. yet, you were also bubbly and happy. you did this quite often with him, but he adored the fact that it was with everyone too. well, it was more with him, in the end.
he also loved the cute conversations you made with people. asking them how their day was, giving them suggestions on what drink to get when normally baristas just take the order and go about with their life. tom adored you so much it was insane. every little soft, poetic thing about you.
as the next half hour goes by, the same thing happening; you being flustered by something tom does, such as giving you a dorky look or something cute, you finally finish your shift.
grabbing your belongings from the break room, you eagerly clock out and say a quick goodbye to your supervisor and other co-workers that were lingering in the back. you tried your best not to smile as much, but you just couldn’t help it. after five hours of being on your feet, and most importantly missing your boyfriend you were about to go to him and get all the hugs you wanted and needed.
you trudge your way, quite eagerly, over to tom; biting your lip as you try not to smile too much. you were rubbing your forearm as you nervously come up to him and wave shyly.
“hey. i’m off.” you spoke softly.
toms heart fluttered at your cute smile, and without hesitation, he pulled you into a warm embrace. “mm i’ve wanted to do this all day, cute stuff.” his lips were pressed against your hair, giving you tiny kisses. you weren’t very prone to pda, so this made you timid and tom loved it.
“tom, you know this stuff makes me nervous!” you groan into his chest. as much as you felt people’s eyes on you, nobody was paying attention.
he chuckles lightly as he brushes a few strands of hair out of your face, “you look famished. ready for our walk? i wanna get you those cute flowers.” he beamed.
you nod sweetly, bouncing on the balls of your feet. “sure!”
“cool! okay, wait i have something for you.” tom gives you a half smile as his slightly clammy hands reach into his back pocket. he pulls out a slightly crumpled up, brown napkin with the logo of the coffee shop name. “uh, it’s kinda lame..but i was getting a little bored and i wrote you something.”
you scrunch your face up in confusion as tom hands you the little napkin, sending butterflies into your stomach as his hand lightly brushed against yours - tom giggled slightly as he saw you blush at the small touch.
you hold the napkin and glance at the words written in green ink; nice touch. your lips slowly curve into a goofy grin as you see the dorky message:
hey. as i’m watching you dorkily mess up all these orders, (hmm i wonder why) i just wanna say that you look cute and i can’t wait for our walk later. :) - the boy that adores u
p.s.
 that person, the one with the cool yoda shirt, asked for a mocha, not a hot chocolate. you’re the biggest dork i know.  
and on the bottom of the note, he attempted to draw a ton of hearts - they looked like butts and it made you giggle; and he also drew a stick figure of you and him holding hands.
tom often was the one that made you shy, but there was no point in lying that he was most definitely blushy right now. he felt so..dorky and lame; but he knew, in the end, you’d appreciate this small thing.
a tiny giggle escapes your mouth, your hand touching your warm cheek.tom runs his hands through his soft, brown curls, “uh...whaddya think?” he inquires shyly.
“you made me shorter than i am,” you spoke quietly, giving him a playful glare.
tom scoffs, but also felt relieved, ”wow thanks for telling me whether it’s good or not, dork.”
“it is! i like it, i just...why did you make me shorter!”
“because you are shorter i don’t know why you insist you’re, like, 5’10.” tom laughs, grabbing your free hand and swinging it back and forth a little. “well, i know you’re blushing, sooo.. i take you do like it.” he smiles and rubs your hand with the pad of his thumb.
“i am NOT.” you squeaked, only to grow even pinker.
tom ducks his head as he laughs, bringing his hand up to poke your cheek. he loved having this warm, shy effect on you. it was so sweet and cute. “you’re adorable. yes you are, cutie.”
“come on, my shy goofball, let’s go on our walk. i’ll hold onto your stuff for you. and, i believe there are some peonies with your name on them.” he says, holding his hand out for you to hold; something he always did, he never just grabbed it. he wanted to be polite and make sure you were okay. and you always were.
“of course, nothing is as cute as you, my nerd.”
tagging a few so it doesn’t flop: @spideypeach @cutiehollands @cutesparker @plushparker @gigglyparker @rileywrites-parker (lemme know if u wanna be removed !)
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jellyrollin-yo · 6 years ago
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anyway im gonna make another ramble post so it’s going under a readme, sorry to any mobile users
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Welp. It certainly has been a past couple of weeks. Things are collapsing and like, I know I’m a fixer but i’m just out of fixing juice.
After my big dip into the void my mom’s been really on me, which is like, I appreciate it, but it doesn’t really help to get a text every day at 1130 asking me to call her bc she’s worried about me despite me confirming im fine and went to therapy earlier that day. Like I love my mom and i appreciate the effort but there’s too much bad juju there.
Speaking of attention i need more clingy friends bc like, i love my friends, and I know they’re busy and have things to do but It’d be nice to have someone to like, just talk to or that would just stick around whenever. Or at least like, when I aske them if they want to hang out on a particular day and they ask if I had any particular time in mind and my responce is whenever is good for them, that I don’t have any plans and then don’t make any plans waiting for them to get back to me and just. Nothing. It hurts. Like, I know I’m a lot and I share a lot of stuff with people I like but at the same time I have like, 2 friends that reciprocate that and neither of them actually have cars and one’s a closer at my store while i’m a morning/mid shift or a closer on their day off.
As for coworkers, that’s just... a fuckin mess. One of my old friends barely works anymore, but we had started growing apart anyway after she started dating again. Another friend from the same time is great but he’s a huge fuckin stress ball, which I can’t blame him for, there’s a lot of stress in his life but noone seems to realize the only way to keep him calm at work is to keep him continuously distracted, despite me doing my best to teach that to the new kids. The new kids aren’t getting trained properly anyway, the last opener that got proper training afaik is me, and I got that after my first open when I taught myself how to do it.
((also unrelated but this gorillaz song came on at work today and I almost lost it))
I almost lost it bc a) my hormones are finally kicking in, but that also means I’m 1) hitting second puberty, with all that entails and 2) have a self inflicted hormone imbalance, and b) I spent 2 months trying to break up a toxic relationship and it just... didn’t work.
I shouldn’t really be surprised but like, I really liked the girl and I think she can see it but there were very convenient excuses to be made, ignoring that the problems from before the convenience were still going to be there afterwards. Depite she herself saying her mood had improved, despite their roomate actively being and saying he was in a better place with him gone, despite one of our mutual friends who was friends with the boyfriend before the breakup found out why and said it wasn’t cool. I can’t be the rock for someone so they can stay in a toxic relationship. I may be a Krystal but I’m not attuned for that. No one should be. (Esp not since... she started thinking polyamory was for saving toxic relationships? that was a weird convo.) And now it’s killing me because I removed myself from the situation. 3rd time wasn’t the charm, and the 4th time’s an omen which I don’t care to experience, but she’s drowning herself in responsibilities and it’s not going to end well, but she refuses to let me try and talk her down from some of it. Like, I respect the hustle but at the same time, please don’t kill yourself. And I, always the masochist, was dumb, and checked her blog. She kicked it back on when me and a coworker told her we were both on it, and we were mutuals before i decided to space out and it’s just mostly my content? like shit I send her and my main and dirty side blog? like i know i’m pretty present on here and stuff but still. It’s... it’s hard. It’s hard to give up on a relationship. It’s hard to stiffle chemistry with a person. I know I can’t fix this. I can’t be the emotional crowbar i want to be, that I tried to be. It’s her choice, and I can only support her decision.
Spotify’s been fun recently bc my emotional state, despite my attempts to keep it mostly under wraps, bleeds heavily into my music tastes and it’s been. not great. I legitimately woke up one morning and a song I don’t remember listening to was on my most recent listen and it like. Hurted. when I listened back. I should really start making playlists but I can barely pay attention and I don’t need to concentrate my depression songs into one place. Music is good and can help but there’s only a certain number of times i can listen to certain songs before the void covers my ears.
I just want to be happy. I just want to feel safe, my friends to be safe and happy, and just... The world is burning. I just need some solace. Something. I’m drifting hard, my temporal dissonance is getting overwhelming, I’m clawing for anything to hold onto that my brain hasn’t decided is fake yet and it’s... there’s nothing there. And I won’t be an alcoholic. I won’t. I’ll stuff it down with dr pepper and twizzlers. Just... take the edge off. be gentle with me. Rage, guilt, sadness, restlessness, just all sorts of things I put away bc I’m the fixer, not other people. Opening up gets me hurt, hurts others. It’s fine though. It’ll work out. It always does, unfortunately.
please get some sleep, drink some water, and know that somewhere in the southeast there’s a sad trans girl who hopes you have a nice day tomorrow.
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