#im probably missing out on so much still

[corgibardballads]

I'm finally getting to those Custom Delivery quests (I didn't know what they were so I ignored them oops). Ehll Tou's are definitely my favorite. I don't know if it's the dragon loving dragoon in me, but reading the interactions between man and dragon, learning about each others worlds is my fucking jam.

[jvzebel-x]

here's an update for all the "tOuRiSm iS fOr ThE pEoPlE" fucks. always remember that the second anyone steps foot on that land in the name of "tourism" or any other haole institution, that is colonizing&that person is a fucking explicit modern colonizer who made the conscious decision to be one and has spent a lot of fucking money on that trip to get their title. only that kine want more of their kin there-- don't pretend that shit is for anyone else.

drop dead of spontaneous combustion specifically, not even the sharks would want that pīlau fucking meat.

[harvestmoth]

steven got them for her

[nopefer-art-tu]

so i was thinking abt the old brokeback mountain forum threads i had stumbled upon last yr and i remember coming across a very lengthy one where people were debating the nature of ennis and jack's relationship during their days on brokeback mountain. specifically, people were debating about whether or not ennis and jack kissed at all during those first few months of friendship and fucking.

i know what y'all may be thinking: but nickie, didn't they literally kiss, like, super passionate style during the unfamous second-night-in-the-tent (or SNIT, as the BetterMost forum users dubbed it) scene?

but see, the thing is that in the original short story Annie Proulx never mentioned them kissing during their time on the mountain. In fact, the first (and only) time kissing is mentioned is during their reunion. In an interview, Ang Lee had said that the whole SNIT scene was written into the film to help audiences better understand the budding passion and love between Ennis and Jack. Otherwise, they felt viewers wouldn't quite get the depth of feelings that they had for each other, and thought they would've been lost as to why it hurt them both so bad to be separated earlier than they'd anticipated.

of course i love the idea that they eased into intimacy so early on in their relationship that they made out a ton while herding on the mountains, but imo, it's also kind of interesting to think about the reunion scene being their first kiss.

in her Story to Screenplay book essay, Annie Proulx said that ranchers would often hire two guys to tend a flock together so that they could 'poke each other' on the lonesome days in the mountains. In some ways, Ennis and Jack fucking was a normal and anticipated part of the job—a 'one-shot thing' that would occur simply due to circumstance. She said what was unusual about Ennis and Jack's case is that the two had fallen into a deep, once-in-a-lifetime kind of love during their time together, thus negating the whole 'one-shot' thing Ennis had declared it to be.

with that in mind, i can see why so many people believed that they never kissed during their initial months of relationship building. They both could have justified it by thinking that as long as they didn't kiss, their tryst didn't mean anything special, nor would it make them queer for going at it like rabbits. Then they both go through the turmoil of losing each other, not knowing why it was they felt so bad about going their separate ways, and go through four long years of silence before "the first sign of life" appears in the form of a postcard.

Jack pulls up in Ennis' driveway, and Ennis is so overcome with joy and desire that first thing his (alcohol-muddled) mind thinks to do is kiss the living daylights out of Jack, and in that moment—as those old forum users had put it—that was basically the first time either of them were able to acknowledge to themselves that the summer on the mountain in '63 meant a whole lot more to them than it should have.

i dunno. i think it's a really interesting subject to think about, one that gets broached in fics very rarely. would like to hear your all's thoughts, if any!

[miciiq]

Got Aventurine in 60 pulls!

He’s so auxhuehuche I’m so happy I have him now

[fleouriarts]

feeling bad about my art lately. will probably not post for a while. but i wanted to at least dump some stuff here before i retreat into my hidey hole

[todayisafridaynight]

re: last anon i definitely think it comes from the uhhh whole threatened thingy. Since most of y3 is. Well. Uhm. Daigo Coma Hours we spend a lot of time w/ that guy in a threatened state. Hence the more “violent” interpretations bc. Well. his sillyguy’s in a coma. Though I’ve definitely seen Mine’s more… stressed (for lack of better words) state being misinterpreted as his natural state and I can see how that would lead to more frequent violent kirinmine takes etc. (Hopefully this is coherent I am soooooooooo tired rn)

for Last Anon

[lokisaved]

The wildest thing about getting to take a photo with Tom is that it didn't feel quite real, like he wasn't a real person standing there in front of me that I was about to be right next to. I partially attribute that to how fast the line was going, but even if I had a bit more time to process, I surely would have felt the same: that a man whose life, basically, I had been following since 2013, was in the same room as me and I was mere feet away.

I was lightheaded in the moments prior to the photo, although whether due to being hungry and needed water or overwhelmed suddenly despite not feeling it before (and thrown off by the girl in front of me trying to hold a brief conversation and the crew trying to escort her away), I'm not sure. I do wonder how Tom feels about the whole thing, about how fast it went.

We greeted each other, I got to shake his hand (his hand really is big, much larger than I expected, yet when he shook mine, it didn't feel overwhelming, and he didn't crush me), he put his arm behind me and mine behind him (his coat was quite soft; my mom speculated it's a nice/fancy wool), we smiled, FLASH, I thanked him (I can't recall if he thanked me), and off I went.

While fast, definitely 100% worth it. I've never had the chance to go anywhere else he's been due to time and money, but this time, the stars aligned.

I was lucky enough to have enough income to be able to do that plus get better seating for the live show, which was also definitely worth it; I wasn't as close as I would have liked, but better than higher up—and the general seating filled up really fast, so much so that when it got delayed due to autographs (I get the sense they overbooked him, because he had to go BACK after it was done), they told us not to leave the theatre because so many people couldn't get in.

Anyway, I absolutely loved being able to hear him talk in person, and he told pretty much all new stories this time! At least, new to me, but I'm pretty sure most of them had not been told before, probably because the audience got to ask the questions (using a Google forms from the week before that was only open for twenty-four hours AND I MISSED—and they had apparently 84 questions?? Surely they could have left that open longer, then).

I really hope I get the opportunity to see him in person again in some form or fashion; i.e. I'd probably do an autograph, or if he's got enough live event, just pay for good seating for that. I don't know if I'll get so lucky a second time, and I will definitely cherish this for a long while.

[saeshiraw]

tired girl hours i’m just ranting bcos i don’t have enough time to cry

[arolesbianism]

Sits in shambles I didn't read maybe Jorge's id correctly in the mysterious hermit logs the first god knows how many times I read them and only just now realized that it's the same id as the scientist that speaks in the agricultural notes log why must I be so bad at reading

[jemmo]

bad buddy + my co-star roasting me pt 15

for #badbuddyweek day 5: favourite dynamic - pat and wai (aka i love to hate you)

[selenealwayscries]

im actually posting skins again yayyyyyy <- exhausted

ive been missing him for the entire day so i spent like 6 hours in front of my laptop making this

the link to it will be in the reblogs as usual o7

[muselexum]

<3

[lacependragon]

One of the worst parts of not having friendship decay is sometimes you have a dream about someone you don't talk to anymore, and you wake up missing them so desperately and achingly, like you last spoke yesterday, and it just never goes away. It's been a month of these dreams and a month of this pain that just slips in whenever I'm not actively guarding myself against it.

I can't just go talk to them brain. I ruined that relationship. I said all the wrong things. I lashed out and was cruel. I was rude. I fucked everything up out of pain and jealously and fear and I never bothered to explain myself. I was wrong. And I'll never get to fix that because I ran. And I have to live with that every single time I have one of these dreams.

You can't fucking just go send them a friend request you're being a fucking asshole and an idiot.

We'll see if it ever stops.

[pepprs]

im home and already swallowed by despair. can you believe i was in CHICAGO a few hours ago. and now im here. lol

[duckduckngoose]

I just had an entire long-winded ass dream about ...making a pros and cons list on if I wanna GM again