#im projecting really hard here
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this is in the "141 and john price's wife" universe. still gn pronouns. i also don't think price texts that much- old man syndrome.
the 141 absolutely have a group chat dedicated to pictures and information (porn) about their little wife.
it starts, as many silly things do, with johnny and a picture of you asleep on the couch. cuddled into the armrest covered in the tortilla blanket he'd gotten you as a gag gift, and it was just too good not to share. (although he only sent one of the thirty he actually took, he's gotta keep as much of you to himself as he can.)
then it was kyle with you in the yard, laying in the grass after cutting down branches in the sweltering heat (something john would never let you do if he'd know about it, but he appreciates the flush of your cheeks and the angle of the photo makes it seem as if you were under him doing another strenuous activity.)
and it continues like that for months, cute little pictures of you gardening with price, walking with simon, watching tv between kyle and johnny- just sharing the daily life of their pretty bird.
but the real nature of the group chat doesn’t start until simon sends a picture of you bent over, putting something in the oven, in the tiny, red daisy duke shorts that are only just long enough to be considered inappropriate for the public.
sr: fuckin' lucky that shit only takes 10 minutes to cook or we'd be in the kitchen all day.
soap: fuuuuuuuuckin' hell
kyle: don't rub it in simon, we'll be home in two days
sr: don't worry, i'll warm 'em up for you
price: Behave yourselves.
and it all just unravels from there.
john's the next culprit. he has loads and loads of less than decent pictures of you, perks of being the first husband, but he's not reaching into the stash for this one. he has a point to make: if anyone's getting off to pictures of his wife, he's gonna be the one sending them.
it's barely two hours after the other three left that something is sent into the chat. face down, ass up, cunt dripping with cum as price uses his thumb to keep your pussy open to the camera, the rest of his hand palm down on your ass, the ring on his finger glistening in the flash.
sr: fuckin' filthy captain
soap: BRING ME BACK, PUT ME IN CAPTAIN
kyle: tell 'em i said thank you
it's not surprising that the minute he comes back, johnny's on you. methodically placing the camera, making sure it captures all of you and his face buried between your thighs. it wasn't the first video sent into the chat but it's definitely one of the best ones.
your head thrown back, hands in his hair, gripping what you can so you can grind your pussy on his tongue. his phone is just close enough to hear your small pants and groans as he sucks on your swollen clit.
soap: i could spend the rest of my life right there
sr: you let 'em fuck yer face like that?
soap: lt i'd let 'em gag me
soap: then step on my dick
soap: then leave me on the floor to rot
*kyle, price, and sr disliked three messages*
soap: like you fuckers wouldn't
and kyle is not a man to be left out, but he is also not as keen on sharing his private time with you as johnny is. so there aren't videos coming from him, instead he has 4k close ups of your tits after he spent almost an hour sucking hickeys into every part of your chest he could reach.
and kyle is like an artist, he makes sure your hair is splayed out perfectly, and that you're just fucked out enough to give him a bright smile. he also makes sure that the locket they gave you, the one that's has their names engraved on the inside, sits perfectly above the swell of your boobs. and goddamn is he proud of his pictures. (it's not hard for you to look pretty in pictures because you're already pretty but kyle thinks he's the best at actually capturing it).
soap: another two things i would put my face between until i suffocate
*sr, price, and kyle disliked a message*
soap: go fuck urselves
and simon is just mean, fingers peaking under your panties, finding your clit just to sit there, finger pressed on your bud, only moving for a few seconds before falling still again; his other hand hold your hips down so you can't do anything but wait for him to move again. and he does it the entire length of the manchester game until your panties are completely soaked through.
soap: stone cold, lt. stone cold.
but before he can do anything, he has to take his picture so the other fools can remember what a whore you are for him. and because it's between games he'll let you sit on his dick and grind into him during commercial breaks. maybe he'll even film in and send it to the guys, let them see you drip all over his lap whole stretching to fit him in your cunt.
but whether his team loses or wins, he'll flip you over and fuck you into the couch cushions, so at least you get that!
then they're all away on a mission, and you know about their little chat (it's hard not to when suddenly they have a camera out every time you're in their vicinity.) so you take it upon yourself to give them their fix. and why not play around with them well you're ar it?
it starts when you go shopping merely three days after they left. they tear up your bras and underwear so obviously you would need to buy more eventually. but usually when you go shopping one of them is with you to share their opinions, but since they're away, you just have to send pictures instead!
a whole catalog, in facts. you've got angles, dressing room lighting, and a whole lot of time on your hands.
*you sent 22 photos to 'the bird house'*
you: i can't choose :(((
you: help me out?
kyle: give me 6 hours to fly home and i'll help you with anything
price: Looks great. But I can't tell from the pictures, you'll have to try them all on again when I get home.
soap: licking the screen isn't working, captain i think i need to go home.
*sr saved 22 photos to Camera Roll*
kyle: smooth riley, real smooth.
and of course it doesn't end there. you have a chance to torture them a little bit with zero consequences and you're going to take it.
but it takes a while for you to send videos, usually you send your outfits, or the tiny bathing suit top you wear while tanning, even one of you in the kitchen in nothing but your tiny apron. (it's the only one that john does not appreciate, popping a boner between briefings as a captain is not hie proudest moment.)
but as the months go longer and longer, you get more and more desperate. your toys are reserved for times like this, a small bullet vibrator and a thick 8-inch dildo. it's nowhere near as nice as fucking your men but it'll have to do for the time being.
and you know them being away is not their fault and they'd be home in an instant if they could choose to be; but if you have to deal with your pent-upness, so do they.
so you set up your phone, leaning it on the lamp that sits on your bedside table, so it captures your entire body, covered only by sheer light-blue lingerie and your locket, as you sink down the length of your dildo, vibrator pressed to your clit. you send four different videos, one for each of them, in the order they came into your life (you think it's cute, they're one picture away from firebombing the whole country they're in and flying home).
you: just something to hold you over until you get back!
kyle: so good for us babe.
soap: yer evil bonnie.
soap: my arm can't keep up with this
sr: birdie thinks it's real funny now
you: i do
sr: not gonna be so funny when we get home, yeah? might have to give you a refresher about what happens teasing birds.
price: 6:30am tomorrow, get everything you need in order because you aren't moving for the foreseeable future.
*you loved a message*
#im projecting really hard here#this needs to be me#call of duty#cod#cod x reader#cod smut#cod x you#john price#kyle garrick#simon riley#johnny mactavish#johnny x reader#johnny mactavish x reader#kyle garrick x reader#simon riley x reader#ghost x reader#soap x reader#gaz x reader#john price x reader#price x reader#ghost smut#soap smut#john price smut#gaz smut#poly 141#tf 141 smut#tf 141 x reader#141 smut#141 x reader
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every autistic kid that hangs around popular kids thinks theyre the next nardwuar
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sooo like finals r over now
thank god its xmas break now
#hello! uhhhh yea#had to shut myself out from tumblr because i cant lie. my academic grades gone to shit and it was really upsetting#and SOMEONES monitoring my grades ykykyk#unfortunately i dont think i improved that much. combined with my worsening mental health to be honest but... life is life#i dont know. ive been such a mess lately and i didnt want to project my negative emotions hard here so i just stopped posting#i dont like venting here as much and i try to limit it because i dont want to put my irl vulnerability out there#at least i dont have to dwell on it now. for NOW at least#i dont think im venting? right now? im just explaining how ive been i 'spose#i was in bluesky during my absence here and its going ok. idk when ill redownload tumblr app but ill try to pop in here more often#i'm sorry for acting very cold for awhile - its just been difficult for me#~ rambling#but at least i can focus on less stressful things now
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[wip] i cannot stop thinking about him
#really really rough sketch i just wanted to put something out here#literally all i think about while im at work#im so mentally ill#milgram#milgram project#milgram fanart#milgram fa#milgram art#ミルグラムファンアート#ミルグラム#mikoto kayano#kayano mikoto#milgram mikoto#wip#MANIFESTING 4-MINUTE LONG TRIAL 3 SONG#WE ARE COPING SO HARD!!!!#lxm fanart
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when i was in highschool one o my biggest coping mechanisms was drawing all the kids i hated getting killed and eaten and killed. and well. time is a slowly ascending spiral. you will find patterns.(i work as a blackjack dealer. gamblers are FASCINATING
#cw blood#luckys original content#ITS SMALL BUT ITS ART SO IT GOES ON THE ART BLOG#also wwaooooww its meee its my lil persona!!! i dont draw myself enough....#anyway i have bigger things in the works. im slowly but surely chipping away at a pd thumbnail for that pd thumbnail project#FINALLY COLORING. BUT COLORING IS SO HARD AND I HAVNT BEEN IN THE COLORING MOOD#SO IVE JUST BEEN MAKING RLY DUMB COMICS INSTEAD... OOPS..#idk if anything finished n polished will be posted here anytime soon. BUT i post wips of everything on my twitter#and i post jrwi exclusive wips on my slucky blog. you may look at those if u have Truck Art Wishdrawls. as many do. as many do#THIS BLACKJACK JOB IS RLY AWESOME BTW DONT GET ME WRONG#i work three 12-hour days ina row. i gotta take an hourlong bus up to the depths o the mountains and then#i get to stay in this delightful lil hotel that was built in an ooold hospital. its a whole casino town. and an OLD one at that#ITS GORGEOUS HERE. last week my bus home was delayed for 2 hours#so i finally got the chance to head to other casinos and try drinkin n gambling. lost ten bucks to a pretty girl. NOT the first time#i rlly wanna try it again!!! i love interracting w ppl and i love being inebriated in public bc im just so sweet and pleasant and friendly#and pretty girls LLOOOOVEE MEEEEE i think i just need to go to gay bars more#but theres fucking NONE HERE. HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im collectin comrade queers up here tho#we wanna make a Group but we just gotta come up witha name first. i need something weird and strange#yknow i remember being in highschool. and being miserable n unmedicated. my mommas ultimatum was that;#if i dont drop out of highschool; i dont need to move out. she probably wouldntve kicked me out anyway bc my mommas sweet like that but#she REALLY wanted me to graduate. and i remember dreading that i might never do that#i remember feeling like the Resident Idiot. sweet but so so fucking dumb. it took me 7 years of strife n stress before i finally graduated#i remember worrying back then that i might not ever be able to handle myself out there. that i'd be too dependant on others#AND HERE I AM. DID U KNOW I WAS LOOKIN AT HOUSES A WHILE AGO? IM AN ADULT AND IM WWINNINNNGGGGGGG#IM RUNNING OUTA ROOM BUT HERES MY ADVICE TO YOU. BC I KNOW UR FUCKING SCARED TOO. THE ONE THING THAT SAVED ME.#THAT KEPT ME FROM SINKING INTO DESPAIR IS REMEMBERING ONE THING: ITS LITERALLY JUST LIKE VIDEO GAMES#MOST PPL YOU CAN JUST WALK UP TO N ASK A QUESTION N THEYLL ANSWER. THEYRE ALL NPCS THEYRE NOT REAL#LIKE IF U WALK INTO A BANK AND ASK HOW A DEBIT CARD WORKS THEY WILL HELP YOU#AND IF YOU THINK THEY HAVE ULTERIOR MOTIVES RELATING TO MONEY. YOU CAN ASK THE CUSTOMERS TOO. ITS JUST LIKE VIDEO GAMES#ANYWAY STAY SAFE KIDS HAVE FUNNNNN. IM GOING TO GO DO DRUGS NOW. HOPE U CAN DO DRUGS SOON TOO. I LOVE YOU
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Here is bonus page 1 - a set of information for the three main characters! Including a few pieces of info that I've never shared before!
#it was really hard to figure out how to do the layout to account for all 4 of kori's main looks#(kioku is not here she was temporary)#but im really enjoying this layout!#in OSAC everyone got their own full page but there had to be some sharing here#but i was able to fit all the info i wanted!#im. particularly proud of the strikethrough and aside text in koris fave food answer. it does change during the series so i feel she would#correct that!#also koris original name (and the reasoning for the charcoal trees in the ircoal path) are finally 'officially' mentioned!! so thats neat#drawing#artists on tumblr#drawings#manga#original character#rkgk#original character art#myrios illustration project#myrios series#anime#artist#kori omoide#tekuka#marun ookami#phecda shioto#kornephoros#the third one#character profile#oc#ocs#oc art#original characters
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no I understand, tbh I kinda wish that’s how my special interests work but no they just are Always There even if there’s no active content,,, and I appreciate you saying you won’t abandon it, it’s genuinely kinda upsetting whenever authors do just quit a story without finishing it or at least explaining where they wanted it to go (like don’t get me wrong I understand losing interest but imo if you’ve gotten people invested u kinda owe it to em to give closure)
You had me till the end where I need to remind you I don’t owe anyone anything??? No matter how invested you get I don’t charge for any thing I put on the internet cause I write mostly gay fanfiction for copyrighted properties and do this because it’s fun and I want to share. CDAP if far from my first fic or au to get attention and I am aware of the people who want it to continue. I’ve been in and likely will be in the same boat again but never have I ever had the audacity to think the author or artist owes me more of their work just because I was invested.
I have and will delete fics I’ve written at a moments notice for reason more petty than i just felt like it. I make the habit of keeping up or reposting old work just to track my growth, fandom trends and as a curtesy to those who may want to go back and read it. I have literally thought of deleting it for asks just like this because it’s extremely upsetting to me to have people try to compliment sandwich me with “I love your fic and understand the burnout/lack of interest… but I want to read more so like get over it it’s not fair :/“ CONSTANTLY. Like I don’t clearly have other interests I mention or post about and maybe trying to hound me into focusing on only one may actually make me stray farther from it? If I don’t share anything about it ever again that’s my choice. I don’t need to give an outline for anyone to visualize or the ending.
Never ever try to tell anyone that shares their craft in a fandom that they owe anyone anything not paid for. Like I get the frustration, I really do but this is not the way to go about it. I continuously said on this newer blog and my old one that I would continue the fic when my interest in UTDR came back and gave the vague estimate that would be whenever new official stuff came out for it. It’s not concrete but that was my answer and it’s only changed because you’ve made me certain that I won’t be working on it in the foreseeable future, thank you for the help with the realization 🤟🏾
#the owing really got to me cause why would I owe you anything? I don’t know you there’s no agreement here#I write when I have the time and motivation to write and i choose what to write#like I make it clear in my asks I just don’t want to write about it rn#that I’m not interested and will get back to it when I can like I was into Spamton and dr for a year or so#i was obsessed#obviously I burnt myself out and don’t wanna do anything with UTDR and honestly it’s hard for me to want to in the future cause I can’t#for anyone who knows to read my tags at this point save the fics if you want imma gonna go to sleep and then delete them whenever I get up#cause this right here is exhausting like owe my ass sorry to disappoint dickhead#sorry if this seems like a tantrum to some but like I can’t just sit down and write for something I don’t want to big project or not#had I actually seen this in the morning I would’ve just responded with a screenshot of the deleted fics cause how dare you#like when ao3 comes back im deleting the fics cause im not doing this anymore
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just autistically explained lord kleptonox to my mom by accident
#the fool speaks#i had a whole ramble but tumblr ate the post#short version. one of my favorite characters ever and im not joking#i want to make a patch for my backpack so bad. specifically with either the thing about how a curse never dies#OR with 'i will always be lord of myself' because that line hit hard for me#thats been my character arc since high school. or maybe since sophomore year.#i usually cant justify getting big/expensive merch ESPECIALLY NOW I LOVE COLLECTING TOO MUCH#but if there was a plushie i would have to get it 100%.........#ive literally considered trying to learn how to sew plushies so i can have one#which is a really bad idea because i have very little experience sewing and a very large track record of starting ambitious sewing projects#that i never finish or cant finish on my own....#well. here's the ramble again i guess its not the short version
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the rwd season 4 qna inspired me to start thinking about college au headcanons except a lot of these are gonna be really specific to my school and y'all are just gonna have to deal with that <3
Kyana feeds some of the school cats. she would feed all of them if she could
Dani smuggled Plug (the scrawniest black cat you've ever seen) into her dorm room illegally and somehow management hasn't caught her yet (based on a true story) (Kyana visits to see Plug all the time)
Finbar keeps an updated tier list of every canteen in the school with breakdowns of the best stalls/dishes for each
A senior from the school of engineering once said to me 'all the engineering people dress like rats cuz our classrooms don't have aircon' (context: tropics) anyway that's Dani
Kyana would probably be involved in a lot of freshman orientation events from second year onwards. she just likes talking to the new kids and giving them advice like she would be the kind of orientation group leader who'd get messages from her freshies asking about all kinds of random nonsense because she's made sure they know they can always contact her with questions
VR-LA is The Guy you go to for textbook pirating resources
(this is more of a 'wouldn't that be funny' but VR-LA is just Veerle's discord handle)
Docent is the name of VR-LA's old laptop that broke down so he gave it to Cassimere (computer engineering major he met once at a networking event) to fix except Cassimere got everything off the hard drive and then somehow managed to fuck it up Even More so he had to get a new laptop (and named it Emi)
Roy has gotten food poisoning from his dorm meal plan at least once (based on at least one true story)
The heap trio + Mandy would be those friends constantly playing majong in the dorm lounge and if all the majong tables are taken they just play in one of their dorm rooms on a towel to dampen the tile shuffling noises (it was Mandy's idea)
Every morning Dani goes to the drinks stall at her faculty and orders one iced coffee to the point where the stall owner starts preparing an iced coffee whenever they see her approach (based on my true story)
Roy would be one of those people who goes clubbing every other week and every time he tries to drag the rest of the heap trio and Egan almost always goes and Dani would go if she didn't have a good excuse but always begrudgingly. anyway Roy would always be the only one having a good time until Egan gets drunk enough to start having fun
Finbar actually uses the dorm kitchens instead of just buying canteen food and it always makes the hallways smell really good
Vhas also uses the dorm kitchen sometimes but like. one time i walked into the pantry on my floor and someone had left cut sweet potatoes and 2 eggs in an inch of water in a pan on the stove. that's Vhas
Kyana's constantly applying for overseas exchanges and international summer/winter school programmes. the world is large and she wants to see it!
Maxim's the definition of a hall phantom. you know he lives on your dorm floor because you pass him by in the hallways sometimes and literally nowhere else. sometimes you're not convinced that he actually exists
VR-LA and Maxim's friendship stems from them being from wildly different faculties (VR-LA's in STEM, Maxim's doing anthropology so arts/social sciences) but also having lots of weird interests they cant really bug anyone in their home faculties about
Elyse is in student government and every once in a while Finbar receives a series of angry texts about the newest idiocy she's had to put up with
MR-SN and AS-TR start a stargazing club together. other notable members include AS-TR's girlfriend E-DN, MR-SN's friend C-RA (the one who always volunteers to carry the heavy ass telescopes) and MR-SN's friend K-LB who he pestered into coming to fix one of the wonky scopes even though K-LB's actually in electrical engineering but he's the only engineering person MR-SN (an arts student) knows
oh and of course VR-LA joins because he genuinely just likes space (developing a crush on his club chairperson was not on his bingo card)
Kyana and E-DN were MMA sparring buddies at one point which is how she found out about the stargazing and joined immediately
honestly i can probably think of more but this post is fuckin long LMAO
#rolling with difficulty#'do not let the internet turn you into an american' i say as i make posts that can be understood by me and me only#i mean im not sorry about it this is my house#like my experiences are just gonna be extra incomprehensible because my countrys fuckin tiny so the target audience really is me and me onl#too bad! you think its hard to read my posts? i gotta live like this!#if i sound extra confrontational i got 5 hours of sleep for the whole week unfortunately so just know its all /lh more or less#really tempted to make some kind of business major joke for roy even though obviously the heap trio would all be in engineering#bc its just common knowledge in my school that business majors are the ones with the most free time to go clubbing all the damn time#and *also* theyre the faculty that dresses the best which also tracks??#didnt really nail down specific majors for everyone (besides the obvious ones like food science for finbar and mech eng for dani)#but i kinda like the idea of cs for VR-LA because of that 'programmers are real world wizards' joke and also.. projecting#cs with focus area in AI would even make sense bc of docent and emi. if i want to make the projecting Even Worse!#also if i ever do human designs for the old crew (doubtful cuz i find drawing robots more fun than drawing humans)#look up sally hansen hypnautical nail polish bc i wanna give human AS-TR that as a nod to her original design#didnt really get into the fashion of it all bc again i live in the tropics so nobody really dresses well here#the goal is to dress to not sweat more often than it is dress to look good#hands down my favourite line in the cqna was noir's i thermoregulate through my forearms#so in the middle of summer i still wear all black and just roll up my sleeves#like thats ME. except its summer ALL YEAR ROUND#walao#asto speaks
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another day chained to my desk wishing i could be outside enjoying the lovely beautiful weather :/
#its fine#could be worse#im just dissatisfied and i want to do anything else! anything!#im aching for even just a little green at this point#i wish i could be on a road trip somewhere much greener than here rn#personal stuff#why is the weather always not great on weekends#had a really not good date yesterday too and honestly it's thrown me off a bit#why is it so hard to find somebody to spend your time with that it feels like. good. to spend time with them.#too soon to quit but woof these algorithms suck ass#everyone is getting busier too and i don't blame em but shit i gotta be getting busier too it's too easy to hermit#i need to dive back into some personal projects idk. make that 4 years overdue portfolio update. sigh.#it's really hard to stay focused and motivated if it's just. me. like who am i even making this for. me? me doesn't care that much :/#not about my own work at least. sad as it is to say.#i miss collaborating on things school made that really easy#working on projects w other people is always so much more exciting and motivating and fulfilling#im scared of putting myself out there for local game jams though bc i feel so inexperienced and like. comparatively untalented.#all the best things in life are collaborative and shared experiences full stop. i really miss it. in all facets.
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Where you go, I'm going, so jump and I'm jumping
Since there is no me without you
Soldier on, Achilles,
Won't you get up off, get up off the roof?
#I'm not gonna tag this as Scarian but im projecting it into your heads really hard#grian#third life smp#3rd life smp#desert duo#fuck it not Scarian but desert duo tag. you get me. you understand what i mean here#sco art
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i need to rant a lil about my project: so basically ive got a school project going on and its all about ballet, and i was supposed to choreograph a performance for it but then i decided in the event that i couldnt, i decided to make a poster for a performance of this "new work"
but please tell me why it feels like im roleplaying as an artistic director tho 😭😭 like im deciding which performances go on this triple bill. im writing out the description. ive even determined the run time. im commissioning a poster. WHAT IS HAPPENING
#ballet#ballet rant#idk its kinda funny to me#just roleplaying and daydreaming fr!!#also helped me gain appreciation for what artistic directors do? i mean this job is hard#anyways#back to the project#i was originally going to dance sugarplums variation but then i realised id like to choreograph something#the same “triple bill” btw is gonna be the “context” in which im “devising” this “new work”#oh lord im really rping here
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Tease Tidbit Tuesday!
I was tagged by @honestlydarkprincess @wikiangela @wildlife4life @disasterbuckdiaz @captain-hen thank you!!!
Okay so, I'm trying to finish my Eddie Begins missing scene fic this week since the ep is on the list this week for the rewatch but unfortunately, like everything I tried to write ever, this seems to have escaped my control. Have a bit of it tho. prev snippet here.
Eddie is not alone for long though, Buck is walking in soon after, fisting the ends of the sleeves of his LAFD hoodie, hair looking like he's been running his hands through it, eyes a bit wild as he takes in the IV and monitor Eddie is hooked up to. "Are you still out of it?" Buck asks, voice hoarse as he steps closer to the bed. "I don't think so," Eddie says, words scratching his throat and he watches as Buck's shoulders relax as he drops into the chair next to him. "That was too close, man." "I know," Eddie says, turning his head on the pillow so he can look at Buck more comfortably. "How you feeling?" Buck asks, placing his hand on top of Eddie's, rubbing his thumb over it in a way that makes Eddie wonder if he even realizes he's doing it. "Cold," he says and Buck chuckles a bit breathlessly. "That does tend to be a side effect of hypothermia," he says, the small smile on his lips making his whole face soften into an expression Eddie can only describe as fond. It weirdly makes him want to keep looking at him.
imma tag @alyxmastershipper @bucks118 @housewifebuck if yhey feel like sharing <3
#writing#911 wip#buddie wip#tease tidbit tuesday#the trauma fic verse#this challenging me in a interesting way#cuz im pushing my personal beliefs on how canon could be played with to make them seem like they have been going on for longer#because the trauma fic is something that i tried to keep as close to canon as possible#and i love writing this particular Eddie and really project my beliefs onto him#and since i already established in the trauma fic that the well is the moment where Eddie realizes something he doesn't want to name#i need to put this in here#but im also trying to add Bucks particular brand of worry through eddies eyes which is hard#and the line between i know im in love with you and what is this thing that I'm feeling is very thin#very fun tho#i am also pushing the way Eddie wont let go of Bucks hand here oskaoskasoaks#Buck tries to let go and Eddie goes nope and i think that's neat#also im the only person he gives a fuck about this fic but here the trauma fic is my baby#so ill keep writing around it ;)
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brooo should i buy a printer and scanner or no idk i want it so bad but its so fucking expensive im scared to spend all that money for what is basically a gimmick to me ughh but i want it so bad rn i woud like to do some mixed media art with stuff :^(
#and i guess i could just go to some printing place and do it there but like. i always want it in the middle of the night#doing some little projects#ughhh i want itttttt#its SO expensive#AUUIEUARFHGF#and then theres ink and all that shit#like this is so hard why cant it just already be here at the dorm or something ughhh#its just something i really crave ok i want it i neeeed her i need to have her for hobby purposes thats why im so torn like i dont actually#have to have one AUAHSX
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I just want to fly to Tibet and not think about character growth or the future or navigating relationships
#im so tired. and like I'll survive it but then i have to continue on and survive the next thing too.#right now im thinking about my next year and just. the rest of february and march sound just barely manageable#april and the start of may will be pretty good probably#the summer idk probably fine#but then. finishing my second degree. working. paying off loans. looking for a job i actually might sustainably want.#i cant. imagine having to do all of that.#i feel like i do so much complaining on here lately im so sorry#irl i feel like i cant complain to anyone cuz objectively im getting to do one of the coolest things imaginable#and like. im really thankful and whatever and thats what i have to project to my irl people. its just also incrediblyy hard and exhausting.#whatever its after midnight and while i feel like this a little bit most of the time sleep will help. it will all feel slightly better#in the morning
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well we're awake again. its time to have soup!!
#bad dream. but we take nightmares with a grain of salt and carry on.#um. so we sent in the application. even though its late. so now all we can really do is wait. and try not to think about it too hard.#so. okay!! we have a project we have to work on that's due on the 18th. its for a different fandom so no one on our voli account will reall#be seeing anything happening hkgjg but its been a long time coming and its exciting to finally get around to finishing it :]#and then!! christmas! um. i think we're going to the relatives again but honestly fuck that who cares not important#we have!! gifts!! to give!! :D and then it'll be the new year! and then. idk im not thinking that far ahead here but we'll keep going.#and for tonight there is the solitude of darkness and music and soup <33#if we had to define "cozy'' it would be. early morning with the sun just barely trickling in. in bed with a warm bowl of wonton soup :]#however we are not staying up until early morning or chamomile will Get Our Ass so we're happy with midnight soup <33
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