#im really starting to hate someone and im just… god i hate them i wish i never met them id do better being alone in 7th grade

[papercutsmp3]

bro is inquisitive

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[theevilicecreamsoda]

I think i ever processed anything that happened from 2021 to now like ever

[gay-fordeath]

.

[strawberryfaced]

ohh my god i hate feeling. i want to dissolve into something else. take away my heart or something i just wish i wasn’t my head wasn’t so deep. I really don’t want it to get bad again this year . I really dont

[jackalhadrurusluvr]

i hope that the person who liked my tweet about dunes birthday and has been reposting dune the movie things knows that idc about dune the movie i only care about dune my oc. my beloved oc. my very very very beloved oc who was named after a grumpy elderly character in the hit book series wings of fire, not dune the movie

[circuitcircus]

in defense of kabumisu……..

addressing things I see people say about why kabru being shipped w mithrun is ‘bad’ or why their canon relationship ‘doesn’t mean anything’ while also clearing up misconceptions of the characters some fans have

listen it keeps popping up and I just gotta do this or my brain will melt (if you don’t see it around then god I wish that were me) there’s an age gap!- erm there’s also an age gap in farcille (ily), the most popular ship in the series...also chilchuck looks like a kid but a lot of fans recognize him as a dilf because of his relative age, so there should be no age gap discourse among adult characters because it feels so conditional tbh

kabru taking care of mithrun is racist!- marcille likes to take care of others as well. is that sexist, or just an aspect of her character?

kabru isn’t treated like a servant, waiting on mithrun hand and foot…I mean he gives mithrun a foot massage but no one told him to do all that lmfao

he's also not the only one to care for mithrun. pattadol is shown to worry for him and milsril was the one to start taking care mithrun in the first place after he…...y’know. speaking of which-

they probably met when kabru was a kid!- neither of them showed signs of recognizing each other the entire time mithrun was introduced nor when they were together. and im pretty sure KABRU of all people would show some kind of recognition if they'd met before. it's kabru!!! the people person!!! mr. "i-noted-down-50+-characters-in-this-dude's-backstory-for-fun-and-actually-enjoy-social-gatherings"

you would think some kind of memory would come back to him especially after hearing mithrun’s backstory if milsril had even told kabru about him as a kid. but nope. it’s just fan speculation unless there's a side comic suggesting otherwise that i haven't seen

mithrun doesn't care about kabru, his shapeshift double looked like shit!- it's obviously because of mithrun's (then) lack of desires that it looked like that, but they really grow on each other

i think it's safe to assume it'd look more like kabru after they spent so much time together (also laios can barely even remember kabru's name..also saw his face multiple times and didn’t recognize him when they talked for the first time)

mithrun is racist!- he’s actually the least likely character to be racist since he lost his desires and that includes a desire for superiority over others. he even calls his past self out on that part of himself. the other elves in that side comic were being just as racist to shorter lived races but just didn’t use ‘outdated slurs’

(unfortunately literally every main character in dunmeshi is at least a lil prejudiced, but I believe it’s worldbuilding and a sign of the times rather than a reason ryoko kui is giving to hate each character)

taking care of others is a pain in the ass!- saying this as a reason kabru and mithrun shouldn't be together is basically saying disabled people shouldn't be allowed to have romantic relationships because they're a "burden"...if someone is actually willing to put in the work, then let them be.

that's not even all of their relationship, mithrun is the fighter of their duo and kabru would've been killed by the shapeshifter or something if he'd fallen down the hole on his own since he sucks at fighting monsters. mithrun helps collect ingredients for cooking every time, too (barometz fruits and griffin egg). he pulls his weight and then some!! i feel like people forget that part of mithrun a lot somehow.

+senshi literally cooks for everyone all time. it's kind of an important aspect of the narrative.

+also, while it is a popular fan thing I see around that kabru handfeeds mithrun, he literally never does lol this is mithrun using his own hands to eat:

also here we have him washing his own body

just saying because people like to treat mithrun like a baby even though the narrative respects him as a capable adult who also has special needs because of an accident. he’s captain for a reason

kabru hates taking care of mithrun!- not exactly, he was initially surprised and put off but got used to it quickly. i’m sure he’s grateful for all the times mithrun saved him from a monster and teleported them out of danger as well

he even starts doing “unnecessary” things for mithrun’s comfort and safety like when mithrun pushes himself too hard fighting, even after his mission to take care of him was complete when the canaries came back

here is even kabru resting while mithrun keeps watch (mithrun let him sleep for 5 hours before waking him up from the nightmare earlier, too):

there's nothing more to their relationship!- they actually have had a very tight and consistent dynamic since they met and they incite the most change within each other by the end. kabru is the one who inspires mithrun to create new desires so he doesn't waste away, and mithrun is the first person we see kabru being genuine with and it leads him to be more honest with others by the end instead of tiptoeing around everyone all the time (that mask was also the reason some ppl initially disliked kabru…)

kabru’s relationship with mithrun is honestly so important for his character and vice versa, but it’s often disregarded because of one over exaggerated aspect of it (an aspect that isn’t even the first way they interact with each other) or because people want to just straight up ignore it for some reason 🥲🥲

kui dedicates many panels to them that don't particularly serve the narrative as a whole in order to demonstrate this and i think that's pretty significant

you're taking this too seriously!- as if i'm the first person in the world to be crazy about a ship or the characters 😭 i love analyzing text and it's upsetting to see them mischaracterized when kui lays out the characters so clearly and deliberately

also they end up touching each other like all the time and have the kind of canon validation most ppl can only dream of lol i feel so insane look at this:

and this is just when they're first getting to know each other cuz there's a fuckload more

kinda hard to explain how i don't actually need them to get married or whatever but i'd die on this hill for them and i enjoy their dynamic immensely

haha you thought you were reading ship discourse but it was actually a character analysis 🤪🤪🤪

also don’t somehow take this to mean I think anyone has to ship them, I just need everyone to understand these accusations kind of don’t make sense especially when they can also apply to other pairs or characters

bonus kabru just looking at mithrun:

[ssparksflyy]

dating jason grace hcs! (ᴗ͈ ˬᴗ͈)ꕤ.ﾟ

pairing jason grace x child of hermes!reader summary based off this request !! an lin manuel as hermes no matter how much i pretend to hate youre iconic and i actually love you

"okokokok" and "lalalala" who ???

people were so surprised when you started dating since youre literal opposites ?!?!

youre so chill and laid back and fun

jason straightens up so quick and salutes if somebody yells attention

but since he's met you, he's definitely relaxed a little more

he's learnt to accept the fact that he can actually relax at times and just enjoy himself ?!?!?!? (shocking, right)

and you were the one who taught him that !!

it honestly started when your first met

cause he was training by himself after lessons had finsihed

you were walking around with your siblings, just passing by and decided to ask him if he wanted to go to the fireworks show that was being held that night ♡

cause like youd seen him around camp before, always helping someone out with someone, and youd be lying if you said you didnt think he was cute 😋 (i sound like a nine year old omg bye)

so what better time to ask than now !

i could lie and say he was super chill about it but lets be honest he was already smitten before you could even finish the question

dropped his sword, face all red and everythinggg 😵‍💫

(you tease him about this now, but he just fights it with a corny "guess you stole my heart" that makes you cringe and roll your eyes yet still smile)

he tried to act all cool and say he'd think about it when in reality he was already getting ready to run to the aphrodite cabin and ask piper for help

i love tlh trio so much i just know jason would be panicking about the whole thing and piper's trying to reassure him + give genuine advice while leo is just messing around 😭

he did manage to get some tips and you ended spending the whole nights talking and laughing instead of actually watching the fireworks ♡♡

he walked you back to your cabin and by then you both established big ol' crushes on each other (aw ya cuties)

the amount of teasing you got from your cabin that night was actually crazy though

you were last to get in that night and entered to a whole chorus of 'oooooo's

a few thrown pillows and 'connor i swear to the gods i will push you off the lava wall-'s later and you were finally able to go to sleep though ♡

the teasing and jokes never stop

even when you (finally) started dating

its your cabin's love language honestly

your younger siblings are OBSESSED with jason

hes actually so good with kids bye

he just 'treats them the way he wished he was treated as a kid :(

his words not mine i dont talk like im giving an anti-bullying assembly

but like he loves playing with them

instant besties !

he even helped them prank you one time :o

he felt so devious doing it good lord

real i was a bad girl i did some bad things yaknow

literally all he did was distract you as your siblings taped a balloon full of water and got a dart pin ready to pop it when you walked into the door

but he was all giggly when the prank succeeded

only for like 5 seconds cause then he was helping you dry off and apologizing

you didnt minddddd, it was fun seeing him act like a "rebel"

okay call me crazy but like trackstar power couple

hermes kids are fast, known fact, evidence? tlt musical said so

and i feel like jupiter/zeus kids would be too!! like moving at the speed of lightning hyperbole... please tell me you see the vision

but like being able to use that as an excuse to get some time away from people... the scandal.

jason telling the group he's with (not necessarily close friends, he knows he can just tell them that he's going out with you) that he's going out for a run

youll be flushed when you return-

when really he's ditching them to go hang out with you

cause this man can NOT say no. he's a people pleaser man it's hardwired into our brains

and they'll think it's normal cause like jasons weird

why question the kid who likes musicals and history

do you see where this is going.

jason taking you to watch opening night of hamilton cause he's been bouncing off the walls for it and really wanted to show you so he'd have someone to talk to about it after :)

it started off fun!!

you were both really enjoying the beginning! well, the first minute and twenty seconds of it at least

cause after that you lost your shit :D

your dad was literally on stage, a few hundred feet away from you, acting as a founding father

the rest of the show you were internally freaking out, questioning everything

jason had no clue, not until you told him during intermission

had the AUDACITY to say "...and thats how you were born" after the traumatizing experience of say no to this

after the show you chased you dad down on the street as he was trying to get 'home'

jason was lowkey giggling the whole time like he was not taking this serious at alllll

but hey he got to meet your dad !!

hermes likes jason, thinks he's a very distinguished gentleman

jason likes hermes, thinks he's pretty good at rapping

at least one of you gained something from that experience

not proofread !

[pigcowboys]

Hi boo(i hope that was not too cringe)! Could you pls do a percy jackson, enemies to lovers! story? Like in everyone in the Camp knows their hatred against each other but then they get send on a quest together and end up kissing each other to disguise their quest?!

I would really appreciate it!

Have a good Day!

pairing: percy jackson x gn! reader (2nd pov is used but someone does say 'chick')

summary: much to your displeasure, you find yourself on a quest with the one person you hate the most.

warning(s): BICKERING. mutual pining (they just don't know it yet.), kissing, swearing, enemies to lovers.

a/n: IT WASNT CRINGE DWW HAHA, i tried my best!! school starts for me pretty soon so im trying to write as much as i can before i have to go back.. (also im sorry abt the images i dont know whats going on with my computer.)

you hated them, everyone of them.

that wretched camp and it's obnoxious staff oh, and don't even get you started on that stupid oracle. she set you up! they all did.

gods, why of all people did it have to be him?

perseus jackson - most of the time shortened to just percy jackson, maybe even peter johnson at times. what an ass he was.

believe it or not when you first came to camp half-blood you had actually taken a liking to him. he was cute, full of energy and full of endless bravery, your exact type.

you weren't sure when it begun, your hatred for him, that is. it kind of just..started. when? not sure. your exact guess must've been that one valentine's day when he accidentally sneaked the last muffin at breakfast. yeah, that must've been it.

to be honest though, you didn't need a reason. you just did, and you weren't exactly quiet about it either. from the day you started to hate his guts all his advances to be nice to you were met with a glare or a huff. sometimes you'd just straight up walk away from him.

so, it basically didn't take him long to send you back the same glares or huffs or even the smallest mutter of 'geez, not this chick again..' everyone hoped the feud would dissipate, that the two of you would grow the fuck up and call a truce.

too bad their prayers didn't help.

infact, you were pretty sure that even if the gods themselves came down from olympus and said 'get along or die right here' you'd pick the latter in a heartbeat.

so, when you'd initially been called into chiron for some 'great news' you'd expected him to tell you that percy had finally decided to leave camp - or that you'd won the lottery. fuck, you wished that was it.

"hey, stay on your side, bucko!" you said, nudging percy to the side aggressively. "i'm not on the market, especially for you."

"can you be serious for second!" percy snapped back, his eyebrows furrowed in frustration. "we have to prove to chiron that we can do this." he turned back to face the front. "or...we're in for another lecture."

"i wouldn't mind, really," you grinned. "i've perfected the art of sleeping with my eyes open."

"if only you could perfect the art of silence.."

you glared at him.

the two of you were submerged underwater at the moment in one of percy's bubbles. chiron had asked of you to go to queens in order to do..something? you didn't really pay attention to chiron at the time - besides, you were thinking about drowning yourself in the nearest lake when you'd heard the percy going on the quest with you in tow. the only thing you could remember was that it was super important to not let anyone see you.

something about the appearance of two demigod children to monster being dangerous? you weren't sure why he thought the things wouldn't be able to sniff you out anyways.

the bubble wasn't even your idea to be fair. you'd suggested just taking the train, as it much easier but percy disagreed - as usual. said it would be quicker to just swim over via bubble transfer and although you wanted to disagree, you settled on the idea that the station at this time would be packed as hell.

so you bit your tongue and allowed yourself to be trapped in a bubble with percy for about a half an hour or so.

"ugh, how much longer..?" you asked, adjusting your clothes uneasily. the bubble wasn't by any means uncomfortable just..kind of warm? weirdly enough. percy didn't spare you a glance only opting to shurg his shoulder slightly as he focused on the vast ocean in front of the two of you.

you glared at him from your spot in the bubble, uncomfortably crossing your legs as you turned away from him, jumping when you realized a never before seen fish was staring into your soul from outside the bubble. it wasn't a surprise to you to see the fish, percy was the son of poseidon, you expected him to go full aquaman one day and pull up to camp half blood with a stream of wild dolphins and squids.

still, the beady little dead eyes scared the shit out of you. and in your natural knee jerk reflex, you moved back, inching into percy and bumping his shoulder. he turned to face you with a distasteful look, face contorting in confusion when he noticed the small school of fish now gathering.

your face morphed into one of uncomfort as you gazed at the tons of fish that seemed to spawn out of nowhere. "uh..can you call your friends off?"

percy seemed to share a look with the fish, a look of embarrassment flashing over his face briefly as he glared at them intensely. you looked on at the exchange in silence because, was he really talking to fishes? the fish eventually scrammed after a while and you and percy were back on your way. silence fell over the two of you before you spoke up suddenly.

"i didn't know you spoke fish.."

"drop it."

"i think we're here." percy annouced as the bubble started to drift closer to shore. were you guys there? you weren't sure at all. you were just happy to be out of that bubble - the close proximity was making you break out.

you were in fact there, somehow. and it was by then it hit you that this was a quest - a really important mission for a demigod and since it was assigned to specifically you and percy, it meant you had to deliver.

your duo walked towards the city, looking around for any suspicious looking civilians or any sign of irregular activity. it would've been an easy task to scope out the objective of the mission if it wasn't for percy's loud breathing.

seriously, you could hear him practically breathing down your neck as the two of you walked. him and his stupid big nostrils - you couldn't focus.

"mind breathing a little less loud?"

percy blinked at you. "these requests are starting to get literally concerning." his face contorted in confusion. "how the hell does one 'breathe a little less loud' ?"

"they not be percy jackson."

"that wasn't even english??"

you were about to say something else smart when a couple of people ahead caught your attention, they weren't inherently weird looking but, you got this vibe from them - that they weren't completely human. your mind raced as you looked around as nonchalantly as you could.

there were people here. to your right, 2 parents and their one hyperactive son who clawed at the ice cream in front of him with his tongue, a bright smile on his face and to your left a group of younger looking teenage girls who were chatting brightly. most likely about hair dye because their highlights were so bright they were giving you eye cancer.

you thought fast. pulling percy by his wrist as you dashed down the street, rushing into the nearest store slash tourist attraction you could as you pushed him into the corner roughly, looking behind you to see if the people had followed you.

he gave you a completely surprised look, slight annoyance forming on his face as he exhaled heavily. "is there any reason you felt like dragging me into this.." he looked around, eyes landing on a random cowboy hat that was situated on a hook in the corner of the place. "slightly..cool place?" he finished, grabbing the cowboy hat and observing it curiously.

"i saw them, well - i think i did.." you mumbled out, looking around erratically as you watched out for any signs of being followed. percy quirked an eyebrow at you.

"the IRS finally caught you orr.."

"percy, this is serious!" you exclaimed, growing slightly embarrassed when the store owner shot the two of you a look. you smiled at the owner awkwardly, ushering percy into a corner with your hand.

"look, i'm pretty sure i found the guys we were going here for." you said, still stealing glances behind you. "i saw them..just now, when were walking."

"did they follow us?" percy asked, more seriously now.

"i'm not sure," you frowned.

percy thought for a moment before speaking once more."they wouldn't do anything with all these humans here - we just have to make sure we blend in."

"and how do you suppose we do that?"

percy grinned at you, reaching over to grab another hat that was right next to the one he'd picked up earlier.

you grimaced, who's idea was it to put you two together?

"do you think we lost them?"

"nah, we definitely still need the disguises."

the two of you were situated on the street currently, attempting to look as normal as possible. though, it was pretty hard to with these stupid cowboy hats percy insisted the two of you had to wear. claimed it would be "inconspicuous" but in reality it was extremely, eye catching.

you figured he just wanted you to wear it so he could laugh behind your back about how utterly foolish you looked. it didn't help that he'd picked out the hat with the corniest design for you - and it was bedazzled.

you let of a huff of frustration. "can we switch? this one's too big on me., i'm half blind here, man."

"you'll live," percy reassured. "besides, it's better if they can't see your face."

"what's the use? they'll just sniff us out eventually."

percy shot you a look. "you're no fun."

you opened your mouth to say something when percy's face changed as he locked eyes with something behind you. you barely had time to react when he pulled you into a brutal bear hug, turning you away from whatever it was that was behind you.

your muscles tensed as your face started to burn with embarrassment. a "what the fuck, percy?" was muffled into his shirt as you felt the presence of the monsters nearing closer. your heart sank to your feet as realized how near they were really.

"whatever i do.." percy whispered in your ear. "just promise you won't be too mad."

"what're you talk-"

and then before you knew it, you'd lost your lip virginity. i mean, it wasn't the worst first kiss story you'd have to tell people. boy kissed me in order to distract the bloodthirsty monsters that were tracking us down! wow, how romantic.

in all honesty, you knew percy just did what he had to do. you knew he just had to keep you to keep your disguises up. that was probably the rest why you leaned into the kiss, hands coming up to rest on his chest as his brutal bear hug eased into more a gentle hug, his hands moving the hold your hips.

the kiss had to look real - romantic. that's why you pretend to be so into it that you let out a satisfied hum. you weren't sure if the monsters had moved on from the two of you, you weren't even sure if you were safe at all in the moment. but, it was starting to get hard to think as your mind swirled with various conflicting thoughts that stemmed from your actions at the moment.

percy broke the kiss, his eyes gazing into your curiously as he removed his hands from your hips slowly. you removed your hand from his chest, pulling away gently. your eyes searched his own for any sign of discomfort or disgust as you started to grow weary of the fact he'd just stolen your first kiss.

yet, you were surprised to find that there was none - just confusion and surprise. you tore your eyes away from him, clearing your throat. as you fixed your outfit. "i..i think i saw them go somewhere over there." you pointed at the secluded alleyway not too far from where you and percy stood. "let's go - we can get the drop on them."

percy stared at you for a moment before nodding, slightly dazed and following you towards the alleyway silently.

the ride back home - or should you say float back home was silent, as it always was. though, something different seemed to be hanging in the air this time. a feeling of awkwardness that was mostly unnatural to you and percy.

you wanted to ask about it - the kiss, why did he do it? why was that first thing he came up with? why did he lean into you slightly? why did the world seemed to stop for a second when your lips met and most of all whyyy the hell did you want it to happen again?

you stole a glance at percy. the two of you were a few feet away from each other, on opposite sides of the bubble. maybe you were going crazy or something but did percy look..good? you swore it was just because of the mixed feelings you had about him being your first but you couldn't shake the thought about how beautiful he looked in the moment.

okay, something's not right.

"do you wanna talk about it?" you blurted out suddenly, shifting positions as you leaned forward slightly. percy turned to look at you, he wasn’t annoyed nor angry, not even suicidal. he looked, enamored — and slightly caught off guard by your question.

"talk about what exactly?"

your eyebrows furrowed. "you kissed me, percy jackson." you pointed at him accusingly. "and you liked it."

percy blew a raspberry, a slightly surprised look on his face. "what makes you think i liked it?"

you paused. had you read something wrong? you thought about dropping the idea but thought against it, deciding to die on that hill. "because your hands somehow found their way onto my hips," you started. "and your lips pursed — and your heartbeat picked up little by the little the longer it lasted."

you crossed your legs, inching away from percy as you gave him a small frown. "and..you looked at me weird." percy's face was flushed as he looked at you silently from his position on the other side of the bubble.

"how did i look at you..?"

you glanced at him. "like you didn't want to drown me in the lake and leave my body for the fishes." you joked. "like..you didn't hate me."

"i don't hate you."

your head spun towards percy, your eyes widened comically. you opened your mouth to say something but the words were caught in your throat. percy analyzed you before speaking once more.

"i don't think i ever have, it's just - you're very annoying." percy sighed. "and it sucks because you're more attractive than you think you are." you stared at him in silence. your heart pounded in your chest as you gulped.

"do you like me?"

"do you like me?" percy repeated with emphasis on the me.

you laughed, inching towards percy on the other side of the bubble. "i do." you stopped in front of him, a warm smile on your face as you watched a smile break out onto his face. "i like you too." he whispered, staring at you quietly before leaning forward slightly to test the waters.

you instantly took the bait, leaning forward as well as you locked lips with percy one again. a bolt of lightning shot through you as you leaned into his touch, placing your hand on his shoulder as you climbed into his lap. percy seemed more than happy to have you there, his hands coming to rest on your hips so he could keep you steady.

you broke the kiss, hands slithering around his neck as you looked down at him with a small smile. you were about to say something when your attention was brought to the sickly sight of a line of fish outside the bubble once again. you yelped in surprise, stumbling back slightly and if it wasn't for percy's grip on you, you probably would've busted your ass.

percy looked behind him, slightly annoyed at the presence of the fish. it lingered for a bit longer before dashing off reluctantly. at which point, percy turned to you with a frown. you eyed him curiously.

"what?"

"he's going to tell everyone about the '2 demigods getting it on in the bottom of the sea'. "

[yenqa]

cranberry juice

sypnosis : riki’s prank goes too far… and suddenly you’re ignoring him! how will he fix this?

warnings : more angsty than i thought it would be, enemies to enemies, uhh public embarrassment, tears mentioned, uhh i think thats it

wc : 0.6k

pairing : riki x afab!reader

a/n : again anon im so sorry for the waif and how its kind of rushed :( thank u for being so patient with me

“god why are you always studying?”

riki plants himself down onto the empty seat in front of you, putting a deep red drink onto the lunch table.

you internally groan, placing your textbook onto the table.

“i don’t have time for you riki.” you say firmly, he laughs.

“why don’t you call me niki? what- do you want my attention that bad?”

he has that stupid smirk he always has, taking a gulp of that mysterious burgundy colored drink.

“you wish,” you reply.

you stare at the drink, considering all the options it could be. wine? no he’s still in school, pomegranate? maybe.

“want some of my cranberry juice sweetheart?”

cranberry juice, you didn’t necessarily liked how the taste of it. it was weirdly bitter, and left a horrible taste in your throat.

“i’m good” you give him a disgusted look.

“are you sure look- doesn’t it look good?”

he shoves the open bottle onto your uniform, staining the light colored skirt you had happened to wear that day. you stand up, the liquid quickly falls on the floor, leaving a bright red stain in the middle of your skirt.

he laughs loudly gaining the attention of the many others around you. they giggle and laugh at the sight of you, covered in the unknown bright red liquid to them.

“god- what is wrong with you riki?” you quickly grab a napkin, wiping off whatever you could.

he smirks at your anger, throwing his shoulders up.

“looks like someone forgot a pad!” someone yells out.

you suddenly become aware of the situation around you, many eyes stare at you as you walk from the opposite side of the cafeteria to the office, where hopefully they’ll allow you a change of clothes.

the laughs continue to grow as you walk quickly to the office, leaving you with tears that start to swell as you push open the doors.

🍷

the sweatpants the office had gave you weren’t horribly bad, but were certainly spirited.

walking around with text that boldly said “DECELIS HIGH SCHOOL” was better than a burgundy stained skirt, so you took your chances.

“hey you got free pants?” niki teases, the smirk ever so present on his face.

he waits for your reply, but is met with a cold shoulder.

you couldn’t see how his smirk slightly falls, or how he fails to keep his eyebrows for furrowing as he watches you pull open the door to your next class.

he figures you just didn’t hear him, brushing it off for next time.

you shared the last period of the day with him, and fortunately for you, he sits behind you!

you internally groan, placing down your bag and grabbing a pencil.

surprisingly, the ignore tactic works. he eventually gives up in the middle of class, letting you have some peace.

after class you rush out of the class as quick as you can, speed walking to the entrance doors and leaving the building.

you hear someone chasing after you, you look around to see the per som you would expect least, riki.

“look y/n i’m sorry-“

you roll your eyes, taking a few steps away before he stops you, gripping tightly on your arm.

“y/n i really didn’t mean for the prank to go that far, i’m sorry for spilling the cranberry juice on you. will you forgive me?”

you’re shocked, riki? apologizing to you?

“uhm- i’ll think about it,” you walk away, leaving riki with a slight sulk to his walk.

riki soon picks himself up, realizing that you didn’t hate him if you were considering it. he smiles, telling himself to never bring cranberry juice again.

perm taglist : @jwnghyuns @ja4hyvn @trsrina @redm4ri @badmuni

[notnamedjohn]

IN STARS AND TIME SPOILERS

ACT 6/TWO HATS

God I love how much Loop tries to hate Siffrin but deep down really just can’t bring themselves to commit to it. Like they start off as being intentionally annoying because “look this idiot got stuck in a timeloop! How embarrassing! He wants to stay with his friends but can’t bring themselves to actually talk about it! COULDN’T BE ME” and they empathize with Sif because yeah no shit they went through it too. They actually want them to break free of the loops because what they are going through is horrible and so so painful that it hurts to watch.

They give actual genuine advice (hidden behind alot of teehee’s) and talk through Sif’s ideas and theories. They are always there waiting for Sif to come back and try to work out the next thing they should be doing. And, in my opinion, I think they enjoy it. They went through their own timeloop hell and they finally have someone who understands and can talk to about it. Sure that person is you who made the same blinding mistake and is making it worse and you can’t help to make fun of them because its like the you from your most embarrassing moment that lives rent free in your head is right in front of you and you get to be like “hey man what were you thinking? That was really stupid what you did oh my god.”

But I can only imagine how that “haha ur dumb but im here to talk” energy gives way to actual spite and jealousy as Siffrin gets farther than Loop. They killed the king, Loop never could. They find out more about wish craft, Loop never got that opportunity. They can read their native language and speak it again, Loop is still stuck with headaches and fleeting memories. And worst of all? They won. They get to live their lives with their family. They made it through hell and won. The King is defeated,their family is with them promising to stay together and keep adventuring together seeing all these wonderful places and things. And Loop never will. Loop lost their family. They lost them because of their wish. A wish they couldn’t handle. Their family THEIR family is gone forever. The only one who can remember them is stuck with copies that see them as a stranger. And the only way to get them back? To even HOPE to have a chance at being by their side? To kill the better version of you. To murder the one who the Universe loves more. To kill the person who stole your happy ending and family. The person who struggled the same as you. Who came to you whenever they needed help, because they trusted you. The person who came so SO close to failing just like you, but you saved them because you know how much it hurts. The person who you wanted to succeed. The person who you can’t kill no matter how badly you want to.

If you lose to Loop in their fight. They won’t kill Siffrin. They can’t. Not after all of the pain the two of them went through. Not after they have a chance of being happy. Loop just can’t do it because they feel that they don’t deserve it. For all their talk of Siffrin needing to work things out with their family, Loop can’t do the same. They can’t look them in the eye and tell them they are Siffrin, they tried so so hard but couldn’t do it and left them all behind. In their eyes, why should they get a happy ending? They doomed an entire reality, their family and left them behind. They can’t take Siff’s place because they know Siff deserves it. Because they won. They made it. They earned their happy ending.

And im so FUCKING NORMAL ABOUT THAT.

[luckylarvae]

ISAT LOOP BRAIN DUMP/APPRECIATION POST????

SUPER SPOILERS FOR IN STARS AND TIME, DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER, DEAR TRAVELERS, LEST YOU BECOME SPOILED. BRAVE MEN HAVE DIED HERE. NOW FLEE, THOSE OF PURE OF HEART!!!!!

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ok whores lets get to it.

GOD I love Loop from In Stars and Time, they're SUCH A WELL WRITTEN CHARACTER. Everyone in the group are such sweet hearts and Bonnie is just insensitive but they have a heart of GOLD. BUT LOOP.... Loop is the type of person who will make it worse when you're at your lowest. If you've hit rock bottom, Loop will be there to get a pickaxe and make it deeper while calling you names. If you're bleeding out dying, Loop will pour sea salt into your wounds and call you a little bitch. BUT LOOP IS ALSO NICE?????? Although they do like fucking with Siffrin a bit, they actually give legitimally good advice and do their best to help you and I LOVE THAT.  Unlike other mean characters where they're like "haha fuck you I'm miserable now im gonna make your life worse" Loop is like "haha fuck BOTH of us, haha whiny bitch, now lets try to get out of here." 

ALSO the fact that Loop used to be Siffrin IS SO FACINATING. I just played through SASASA and the ending had me go NUTZ. At the core, SASASA siff and ISAT siff are the same, with really the main difference being that ISAT siff had Loop to help them, while SASASA siff (aka Loop) had no one but themselves. They had no one to give them a reality check, no one to say "u ok bud?" and sat in an echo chamber of their own thoughts. They were also in the loops for FAR longer than Siff. Instead of the mental world ending breakdown we saw in act 5 of ISAT, SASASA siff just... numbed it out. Just an endless cycle of hearing the same monotonous thing over and over and over and over and over and over and over again, and dying just as much. The fact that they even forgot the gang's NAMES tell you so much. Plus, Loop was doomed to become loop from the very start. In the true ending. Considering that the wish was "I want to stay with my friends" the fact that the loop reset immediatly after killing the king is TELLING. Siffren was able to get information out of the house maiden, while Loop never even got a chance to. That means that no matter what, Loop couldn't have gathered information from the house maiden, and Siffrin most certainly couldn't have broken the cycles without asking the house maiden. That means that no matter what, Loop couldn't have broken the cycles, and was stuck in basically hell for all of eternity. That is, until (presumably after the true ending), they go to the wish tree and ask for "Anyone to help me". THAT is when Loop BECAME Loop. Loop got to help Siffrin in ISAT, and by connecting to someone who was also suffering from the cycles they were able to connect to them also. (ALSO LOOP??? WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU EAT A STAR??????)

This brings me to my last point. THE PERSONALITY CHANGE. Loop's personality is VERY different from Siffrin's. I have two main theories for them. One, is that Loop suffered what I'll call "Flowey syndrome" AKA: When you've "reseted" or in this case "looped" so much that you stop seeing other people as real people, and that you and the others who aren't bound by the repeats are "the real ones". This creates a false sense of superiority, as whether you like it or not, you're going to treat those around you more poorly. Added with the fact that Loop sees Siff from the start of the cycle as well as the self hate they feel, I can SMELL the amount of RAGE. You're standing at a clone of yoursef who hasn't suffered as much as you have, is living the life you once lived, and it's UNFAIR. Loop witnessed themselves reducing their friends to just mere set pieces despite them caring about them very much, while SIFFRIN (although starting to go down the same path) gets to live what loop DEARLY missed. And the fact that SIFFRIN is the one who got out with their happy ending while their friends will NEVER see Loop as Siffrin, forever robbing their past friendships, is really the final straw that caused the Loop fight. I also seriously doubt that Loop thought Siffrin was "real" as well.  To Loop, they're just a clone to them, they are the original, and Loop is the one that supposedly deserves anything. It's a huge slight to what's fair. However, here's my second, less probable but more interesting theory. Loop not only had the deal with one, but their transformation ALSO changed their personality and soul. Not only are you dealing with all of the above, but you KNOW that you are VERY much not the person you were. It's not a semi wholesome "ah, I've changed so much over the years" type of deal, but a *HORRIFYING* realization that your very being was changed. The chemistry of your soul is forever altered.  You are no longer the person you thought you were. Where there was "happy go lucky siff", there is now "bitter, angry, sarcastic loop". Loop talks about "making a personality specifically designed to annoy you", but what if that was denial? What if "Oh god, I've CHANGED. Something is HORRIBLY wrong with me and I don't know why I'm acting this way and having these thoughts. Instead, let's pretend that I'm wearing a mask of a personality, and therefore my sense of self remains stable!!!! Yippie!!!!" But at some point, the line between the face and the mask blurs, until they become one and the same. Now the question Loop has to deal with post game is this: 

"My entire identity was based in the fact that I'm Siffrin, but the people who know me best know me as Loop and not Siffrin, and this Siffrin continues to be recognized as Siffrin. Then, if I no longer look, act, or think like Siffrin... then who am I? Who is Loop?"

maybe this is my calling to write my first au who knows.

[dreamsy990]

so, re:chain of memories, huh?

warning! its been a little while since i played through recom, so the game isnt as fresh in my mind as some others. sorry for any innacuracies!

spoiler alert, this is my second favorite kingdom hearts game. at least of the ones i've played so far. i get that this isn't like. a POPULAR opinion but fuck you i have almost nothing but positives to say about it.

let's start with the easy stuff first. recom introduced a new card-based combat system. i cant compare it to the gba version, since i didn't play that, but i can say that for what its worth i DID enjoy the combat. recom is by far the hardest game so far (at least for me) and almost every boss took multiple days for me to beat, even with my hp maxed out. it took me a while to get the combat system, but id honestly love to replay the game now that i have a better understanding of how it works. the card system requires a lot of quick thinking and i get that it isnt everyones taste but its CERTAINLY mine. every fight is difficult and feels genuinely rewarding when you win. the movement, like kh1, can use a lot of work, but i wouldnt call it terrible. just kinda sluggish. i think my favorite boss fight was larxene. shes a pain in the ass but i love her.

i think riku's side dropping the deck building mechanic isnt terrible, but i wish i could reorder his deck at the very least. and the lack of healing cards is. not fun. basically any damage you take is permanent unless you HAPPEN to get mickey and its simply Not a fun time. im not very good at games okay.

i have a lot less to say about the worlds than the combat. they're definitely the worst aspect of the game, though. the idea of making worlds with cards is fine! it just leads to kind of repetitive world design. the stories are forgettable, so forgettable that i literally forgot them. and i could make a point about how thats the idea its a game all about forgetting things!! but honestly that just making excuses for it. the worlds couldve kept the idea of forgetting things without literally making them forgettable. i say this about every world, except for one. because DESTINY ISLANDS

destiny islands is just. so fucking good in recom. its the climax of both sora and rikus stories and i think theyre both amazing. id have to say i prefer rikus, soley because of the visual storytelling you get from his side of it, and thats not to say soras is bad at all. but something about zexion telling riku that its his fault his home was destroyed, as riku sees a version of himself turning into a literal monster? thats just good okay. its really good.

i ADORE the characters in this game too. everything we get from them is sooo good. it's the introduction to the organization and all of them (except lexaeus who did literally nothing) are a treat. axels my favorite ofc, but larxene is such a fun villain, you love to hate her. shes really the star of the org cast in this game. sure, axels may have said its his show now, but larxene stole the spotlight.

its namines introduction, too, and i love her. on one hand, shes just really kind. she wants a friend, she wants someone to talk to, she wants to meet sora. on the other, shes just a little bit fucked up actually. sure, shes honest with sora, but shes the tiniest little bit guilt trippy and i LOVE THAT. her response to sora saying he wants to get back his own memories and forget her is "oh okay. you want to remember your REAL friends, huh? theyre the ones who REALLY matter to you? yeah anyone would want that. no friends for namine i guess." like shes just a bit salty and we love that for her. i want slightly guilt tripping and salty namine back nomura.

but ofc one of my favorite new characters in this game HAS to be repliku. god i ADORE repliku. his hatred for riku is sooo fun and the way he fights with sora is great too. like in soras side i thought he was a neat villain but rikus side? hes amazing omfg. one of the only villains i liked in rikus story (sorry lexaeus, you werent good until days)

over all, this game certainly isnt everyones cup of tea, but its DEFINITELY mine. it's the game im most excited to replay at some point, mostly because of the amazing boss fights. 9/10. its got issues, but the story and characters are so good that i genuinely could not care less about like. most of them.

[system-of-a-feather]

is there anything you wish youd known about DID-specific therapy before you started? sorry if thats weird or vague, i just finally have a therapist that treats DID and im both nervous and relieved about it, so i guess im just wondering if you have advice as someone who has made so much progress with your own DID

God yeah there is a lot honestly. Like there are a lot of general rules of thumb that I've seen get mentioned here that I can say are usually really good things I found to be mostly true in my experience like

Persecutors are frequently demonized and they can be INCREDIBLY hard to work with, but they are incredibly important, often are parts that are capable of having the most growth and tend to add the most to the system once you figure out a good way to communicate and work with them; that said, don't push anything you aren't capable of handling, if they are being too much, safety first; just remember that they're probably some of the best allies you can have should you make things work with them; there is little stronger bonds - both between parts and as a whole - formed when you can befriend and trust someone / the part of you that you've always hated / avoided. Loving persecutors is self love and self love is important for healing

While keeping track of your parts can be helpful, try not to obsess and fixate on trying to find all the parts and figure out when and where everyone came from. It can become overwhelming (especially if you have a lot of parts), you might find parts and things you aren't ready to deal with if you try to look too hard, and it can take away from the important processing, bonding, communication, and present issues you might be facing as a whole

Its okay to relapse on maladaptive behaviors, especially if it keeps you safe and/or from relapsing or starting potentially more risky / dangerous / harmful maladaptive behaviors. Two steps forward, one step back, it's still progress so try not to be hard on yourself. Struggling and fumbling is part of recovery, you aren't bad, or wrong, or uniquely "broken" or anything for struggling through recovery. Recovery is just fucking hard and engaging with it at all is a really amazing and powerful thing.

Integration =/= Fusion. Integration is just improving and increasing the communication, connectivity, and fluidity of information and coordination of parts. Integration is inherent in any form of DID treatment.

On top of that, I think some of the ones I don't see talked about as much would be...

Splitting, while often assumed to be a negative thing and a result of trauma (true and sometimes!), can be very healing when you look at it from a larger lens. This isn't to say that you should want to split or seek to make new alters as a coping mechanism, because I'd probably say in most situations that is probably not healthy. This is more so saying that if your brain wants to / needs to / does split, its okay to just let it happen. Trying to actively prevent splits can cause a lot of emotional / trauma overwhelm and risk crisis states and honestly, sometimes its easier to deal with two (or more) contained and stable parts than it is to deal with one complex and unstable part. Likewise, sometimes it is easier to be two (or more) contained stable parts than it is to exist as one complex and unstable part. Splitting sometimes - and often is - a mechanism to maintain stability and keep life for all parts within a relative "window of tolerance" that you can function in. Splitting isn't a moral failure or a recovery failure or anything special. Splitting is just part of the journey of recovery and a lot of people split after they start recovery cause it can be a pretty hard thing to go through. You aren't alone if this happens and it is just part of the process and journey.

Similar to that and something that we've been talking on this blog a lot and trying to spread...

Fusion does not have to be a final thing. Fusion does not have to be a huge and notable event. Fusion can last anywhere from a few minutes, to a few hours, to a few months, to forever depending on what works for you. If a fusion isn't working for you or isn't sticking, your brain will likely re-split and if it doesn't, you can always actively try to undo it and we've done it multiple times pretty successfully. Fusion ALSO isn't anything special, it's something that just happens. Fusion and splitting are two sides of the same coin and really aren't anything as permanent or anything that carries any inherent value to it beyond what it means to you as an individual / whole.

And probably one of the things that I was the most astonished by

You don't actually have to process all your trauma to be at a place with your DID where you are considered to be "in remission" or to even reach functional multiplicity / final fusion. A lot of the meat of DID-focused therapy and recovery and improvement to life is not as much in the trauma processing as much as it is in the stabilization period; that is just to say, the main meat of growth, recovery, and improvement is found by working with your parts to establish an internal support system, internal trust with one another, and deeply getting to know each of the parts. Of course, trauma processing will happen along the way, but you can get EXTREMELY far with recovery simplly by focusing on the stability of the system, how you each support and communicate and coordinate with one another, and dealing with the trauma topics that come up in the immediate present. A good way to think about it is that the stabilization period is essentially creating a strong foundation and a strong base so that you feel secure and confident navigating basic day to day life with a lot of internal love and support and the trust that you and your parts can support eachother through a SHIT ton of stuff. If you can develop an internal relationship with your parts and your system that is very strong and built on trust and care, then dealing with trauma and adversities become WAY easier. Thus it can be a lot easier to postpone any heavy trauma processing that is not actively relevant and actively necessary to help improve internal relationships until AFTER you have a stronger and more secure realtionship with your parts. Thus I would suggest focusing on the present issues, the things parts are feeling and experiencing in the moment, and addressing those rather than trying to uncover every secret and trauma that you may or may not remember. If the trauma is something you are ready to deal with and it's relevant, your brain will bring it up when the time is right. Trust your brain thats protected you thus far and kept you alive thus far to let you know things when you are ready to know it, but also don't be afraid to ask parts for help if it does share more than you are ready. That's just to say - Don't Dig for information you don't want to know, but if something comes up that you don't feel equipt to deal with, its completely okay to seek internal or external help to try leave it behind. Again, especially early on, the focus should be on stabilization rather than trauma processing.

And just a little small one about online spaces and what not, but try not to worry too much abotu whether your experiences with the disorder align with others, or if you look "fake" or what not. A lot of recovery will look like things people who don't know better would think is "impossible with DID" and online spaces tend to be a place where a false image of what things "should" look like is kind of developed. Whatever you experience is what you experience and is inherently a real and true experience. Don't try to force yourself to fit into the expectation and boxes of others as it will often slow down your progress.

[elekinetic]

dear el,

i’m sorry i didn’t call you more. god, that feels like such a stupid way to start this letter, but i have a feeling this’ll mostly be apologies, so i might as well start with one.

i’m sorry that i haven’t been around as much. i’m sure mike told you that i was being a total asshole and ignoring like, everyone. and he’s right, which is stupid and i hate it, but he’s right. it was never about you, okay? i’ve just been dealing with so much shit in my own head and… well, i guess i thought it would be easier if you didn’t have to worry about me anymore. i know you were worried about me, and i know pulling away probably only freaked you out more, and i’m sorry. you deserve better than m that.

it’s weird, going through this whole thing again but without you. i keep thinking i’m gonna turn around and you’ll be there with some great plan to save the day. and i’m sorry—again—that i wish you were here. you deserve to be free of all this bullshit.

when we started hanging out last summer, i remember thinking, okay max. you’re gonna just treat her like a normal person, because no one else does. and you’re not normal, you’re like, totally cool and awesome and so brave… i just wanted to be someone you didn’t have to be brave for.

i need you to promise me something. like, actually promise me, and follow through on it. it’s my “dying wish,” or whatever.

don’t blame yourself. this is not your fault. i’m not saying that to say it, or to make you feel better, because if you’re reading this then…. well, everything’s probably really fucking shitty right now. this is not your fault. i had as much of a role in this as “vecna” did, okay? i knew what i was getting into. i need you to know that no matter what happens, you are like, my favorite person. you’re the best person i know. all you do is help people and love people, even when they don’t deserve it. i need you to promise me you’re gonna do that for you too, because you do deserve it.

and i need you to do one more thing for me. and i’m sorry that i keep telling you things i need because it feels like that’s all anyone ever asks of you, like, what can you do for them, or whatever. but that’s what i’m trying to say here.

i need you to be selfish. don’t be a hero. get the hell out of hawkins and lenora and all this small town bullshit, and make a life for yourself somewhere where you can do whatever you want. whatever you like to do. and if that’s with mike or whoever, i don’t know and i don’t care. just put yourself first.

i’m sorry i haven’t been the greatest friend lately. and i’m sorry that it’s gonna hurt you for me to not be here. i wish we had more time. but, you know, the time we did have was pretty bitchin’, right?

i miss you. i love you.

your grateful best friend,

- max

p.s. apparently the whole thing with fighting vecna is “hiding in the light,” or like, good memories. when he comes for me, im gonna be thinking about you. so, you know, even if this goes bad… you helped. just you being you. thanks.

[stvnszlr]

HI! Here to beg u for Steven adhd headcanons

Pls i promise i'll be good this year.

oh my goodness … so um this is something i am like way too passionate about !! im going to seem like the craziest crazy person EVER by sharing this cuz i wrote .… a lot but u guys gotta stick with me okay you’ll see the vision

THANK YOU for asking this btw ! this is one of the things that makes me relate to steven the most ,,>_<,, and i will literally talk abt it anytime

☆ steven adhd hc’s / reasons why i think it’s possible he has adhd ! ☆ ( coming from someone who has a severe combined type adhd diagnosis )

please note this is all just speculation !! i’ve noticed some connections between his behavior / things he’s spoken about and adhd symptoms , but i am certainly no doctor and the only one who can truly determine any of this is steven himself . these observations are mostly just for my comfort as a neurodivergent person :)

ohhh stevie is a BIG stimmer :) he taps on everything in sight , he also hums a lot and likes to move his body ! bouncing , jumping , flapping , shaking , jiggling , playing with his hair ( i have video evidence sue me >:( )

people often describe him as “twitchy” , randomly making odd movements or sounds that can surprise and confuse those around him

vocal stims , dude . like my man is a parrot he’ll repeat random phrases over and over without thinking about it , just going about his day mumbling the most obscure sentences without even realizing

i’ve also noticed from watching videos he has a big BIG tendency to repeat things other people say !! i think that’s a combo of vocal stimming and also struggling to fit in when making conversation

he has literally confessed to having sensory issues related to taste and texture ??!?!? so i imagine he has them with other things too it’s mostly touch or sound related things that really get to him and can cause overwhelm but honestly anything that catches him at the right time will have him retreating inside himself and blocking everything out , unable to respond cuz he can’t think or listen

also seems to struggle with clothes touching his body ! he is always in loose tank tops and wears a lot of cropped pants / shorts , and has never really worn a lot of accessories unlike his bandmates . this could definitely be attributed to sensory issues , especially hating the feeling of wearing jewelry ( rings especially ) and also makeup on his face

drums !!! poppy loves drumming , it is SUCH a good stimulant for his brain cuz it works muscle memory , gives a dopamine rush , and combines both creative thought with an athletic activity

hyperfixations oh my god he is so bad . so so bad . he’ll pick up something for like a few weeks and dedicate EVERYTHING to it just to never pick it up again

very typical hyperactive type adhd , trouble focusing and sitting still OH MY GOD this man cannot sit normally for the life of him

um hyperfocus also !! drums is prolly his biggest one but if it’s something he’s super tuned into he can just . sit there and mindlessly work on it for HOURS before someone notices and is like hello take a break ??

didn’t like school cuz he always felt like he wasn’t smart , he was actually really interested by some subjects but just couldn’t keep up as a student :/ he also started getting into skating and music which were much better dopamine activities than school so he kinda just . quit ?

part of why his mom kicked him out so young , he was impulsive and reckless and very VERY high energy , easily irritated and his emotions had no filter / couldn’t control them or his actions based on them

this poor kid is so forgetful . he really cannot remember shit and it gets him in trouble a lot ! he’s gotta be reminded by the guys about EVERYTHING and it annoys them to no end , and steven always feels bad cause he wishes he could remember , but for some reason he forgets every time !

it’s where his irritability comes from too , he sometimes flips like a switch and can get really defensive and aggressive . he’ll lash out and turn really angry — not in a super serious way , but it’s the reason he gets in so many little fights with all the other guys , especially axl .

this is also tied in with the rlly strong sense of justice that neurodivergent people feel !! the reason he’d stand up and talk back when everyone else could just let it go

easier to fall into addiction and harder to get out of it . places a vice on his brain , trapping him in dependency on the drugs and making it so much more difficult to quit — why it took him so much longer to get sober than any of the others , even after all his health scares

drugs are also a coping mechanism for sensory issues and that awful , isolating feeling of being built just slightly different than everyone else

UM ???? LIKE EVERYTHING ABOUT STEVEN POST GNR + LEAVING THE BAND IS JUST SCREAMING RSD ??? like the abandonment issues built up from his childhood ON TOP of being insanely sensitive to disappointing others / feeling unwanted ?? yeah i fucking understand why he couldn’t let go of it for almost twenty years of his life that’s like the worst possible thing to go through as someone hypersensitive to feelings of rejection bro . oh my god .

rsd also attributes to him being really eager to please especially with friends , and trying to talk himself up and seem cool and on their level and worth keeping around :(

i do also think it is likely that he learned to mask a LOT of his symptoms , of course not all of them ( as we can pretty obviously see in like . any video ever taken of him ) but a lot of the less socially acceptable ones he naturally forced himself to hide :(