#im so sorry for that i made him cry. i always will be sorry

[mysouleaten]

' DOC AND BOSS ' [part two]

mafia boss! izana x doctor! reader

summary ... you find out who this yakuza member is and it brings you to shock..

warnings ... not proofread, fluff, petnames, reader is a little sensitive[me], very very pretty izana

[DOC AND BOSS masterlist]

It has been two mostly rainy days

nothing interesting has happened even with your yakuza member still recovering in your apartment

he's been a good-- no, great guest so far, his sour attitude from the day you found him has completely melted off. It was even pleasant to talk to him

both of you stayed away from the topic of 'how did you get shot?'

because you knew how, he's part of tenjiku, part of the yakuza

and it's best if you keep your sanity intact, your boss would appreciate it--a lot

but the man--whose name you still didn't know--has improved, his wound is healing nicely, no signs of an infection surprisingly, he did stay god knows how long on the muddy concrete before you found him

he was able to take small walks around your apartment but you instructed him to do so if it was necessary

if he needed anything he could ask you, but it seems he's very prideful and stubborn to ask for more help..

but right now, you and -- ...

"hey, what's your name? i sort of have been calling you lavender in my head this entire time" you questioned

"hmmm...lavender? how lovely" he replied with a cheeky smile

oh that's another thing, he's become comfortable enough to express more emotion with you, which is great--it was very awkward the first couple of times you tried to make small talk with him

"yeah, lavender, because of your eyes--but tell me your name, I want to know my patient's name," you remarked

"always so demanding, but my name is..." he seemed hesitant to tell you, his eyes even removed themselves from you--he's now looking off to the side, with a light frown on his handsome face

"hey- uh- I know- you're like in the yakuza and everything.. don't worry I won't tell your boss anything...hahah.." you tried to joke around to lighten his mood

for some reason, you didn't like his frown... it made your heart clench uncomfortably..?

he looked back over to you quickly "my...boss? hahahahaa!!" he stepped back from you laughing-- he clutched his wounded side in the process

you stared at him with bewilderment

was he...not in the yakuza? did you assume he was?? no! he was wearing the uniform! or did he? now you were second-guessing yourself...

he wiped his eye with the back of his hand and looked at your confused face with such amusement

he even laughed a little more! jerk

you huffed and turned back to the dishes, tears threatening to escape your eyes--you were always a sensitive soul..

and even more sensitive now that a very pretty man was laughing at you, oh my god you felt like a damn joke..

"hey, hey...sweetheart, what's with the baby eyes?" he came back to your side and leaned his face closer to yours

you quickly wiped your eyes with your palm and turned your head away from his gaze

izana blinked at the woman in front of him--hiding her pretty face from him

why was she crying? he didn't say anything insulting?

"hmm? are you going to tell your patient why his doctor is so moody?" izana joked

you finally looked back at him with light puffy eyes "why.. where you laughing?"

he blinked once, then twice "did.. you think I was laughing at you?"

you hesitated but nodded nonetheless

"I wasn't laughing at you, I was laughing because you thought I was a servant , I'm the boss, sweetheart"

huh? servant? boss..?

"im izana, izana kurokawa, the leader of tenjiku"

.

.

.

"WHAT??"

an .. im a sensitive soul, its me.

taglist ... @firstdivisiongirl  @ureuphoriasworld @sennkawaa @haikyuusboringassmanager @izakawa @peppersapro @khfviq @mariam12344 @wutap @bontensbabygirl @m0onz1

@ilybbg @kazutora-kurokawa @riritvt @manji-hoe @kokoch4n3l

[ im sorry if you don't get tagged :( I tried my best ]

[shad0wvisi0n]

STORY ONE YOUR GUARDIAN

Summary: When SV4 gets his first ever nightmare he decides to pay his partner a night time visit for comfort.

Tags: Character Death, Blood, Hurt and comfort, Angst with happy ending, fluff,

AU Created by @b-r-i-n-g-x and @shygirl4991 All art belongs to the rightful artist do not repost Artist for chapter @b-r-i-n-g-x @lizaluvsthis Shout out to @alianarepasa our other lovely assistant!

WARNING: PLEASE READ SHADOW VISION CHAPTER 2 CONNECTIONS BEFORE READING THIS FIC!

SV3 landed on the ground hard dodging another attack, he felt a sharp pain on his ankles “No, oh no don't tell me i had to twist my ankle now!” Princess Peach roars, catching both guardian’s attention. SV4 looks around in a panic hearing the roast, he runs off to the direction of the sound. SV3 shakes his head as his eyes water, closing his eyes he felt a sharp pain in his abdomen. He opens his eyes in shock as he stares at the claw stabbing him, the claw pulls out hitting him again. It all happened so fast the guardian couldn't let out a sound, his tears falling as his mind filled with SV4. Princess Peach lets out one last roar before leaving the man on the floor, he gasps trying to move, trying to call out to someone.

SV4 frowns feeling nervous at the silence “SV3! SV3 where are you?!” As he walks through the woods he notices the floor. His eyes go wide as he realizes the floor was covered in static liquid, he runs following it. Panicking, the more of the liquid he saw until he reached the end of the line, he stopped walking as he began to shake his head “SV…3 you can't…” his eyes water as he ran to the man's body. There he saw SV3's eyes move to look at him, SV4 fell to his knees to hold his partner close to him “Hey you're okay..you're going to be okay this is nothing. I'm right here aren't i? I will always be by your side…so please stay by mine.” SV3 slowly moved his hand grabbing 4’s before dropping it, SV4 starts crying as he shakes SV3's body “Please…im sorry about the outfit…DON'T LEAVE ME!”

SV4 jumps up in his bed breathing heavily, quickly he touches his eye to feel the wrapping still on it. He let out a sigh of relief before frowning, he had to make sure that nothing happened to SV3. He opens the door and looks around the dark studio, he was surprised that the party Mr. Puzzles did was cleaned up so fast. Making sure the adware wasn't around he made his way to his partner's room, as he approached the orange door his heart started to race.

Flashes of his nightmare hit him, the lifeless eyes of the other man, the smell of his blood as he held him close. The nightmare felt too real, that's what made it hard for him to open the door.

He takes a deep breath and opens the door, the smell of fresh flowers hitting his nostrils. He couldn't help smiling at the familiar scent, slowly he walked into the room. There he saw the form he knew well, SV3 slept soundly in his bed causing a wave of relief to wash over the guardian. Knowing that the man was okay he turns to leave the room, his hand begins to shake as he holds the door knob.

 He looked at his hand confused before turning to SV3, he needed to remind himself it was a dream and nothing bad happened. Then SV3 started to move around in his bed, 4 freezes staring at his partner as his eyes slowly opened. SV3 sits up on his bed, his hair free from its constraints. 

SV4 held his breath, it wasn't everyday he saw the man with loose hair not to mention with no makeup. 3 stares at him confused “SV4? Am i dreaming or are you standing in my room, do you need more batteries?” hearing the question felt like a stab to his gut. If he wasn't such an idiot the man wouldn't have been in this mess in the first place, he felt his eye sting at the memory of their fight. Noticing something off, SV3 gets out of his bed putting on his robe, slowly he walks up to the man “4…are you okay?” 

“I’m fine, it's not like I came here cause I was worried for your dumbass.” as he blinks the tears escape. Seeing that SV4 was crying he slowly reaches out and grabs his hand, SV3 blushes as his heart raced at the contact. He gives a bright smile to his partner “Well if you did come for that, im okay!” 4 nods hearing the cheerful tone from his words. Slowly he intertwined his fingers with 3, seeing what SV4 did made his face go bright red. He lets out a cough thinking on what to do, he snaps his fingers as he brings SV4 closer to him. But before he could speak SV4 beat him to it “This might sound dumb…” 3 shakes his head “Nothing you say could be dumb, you can say anything.” 

With a nod SV4 continues “You know…never thought the smell of flowers could be so amazing, then you came into my life. The scent brings a strange comfort to me.” SV3's heart skipped a beat at his words, he wasn't sure what this odd feeling was. Perhaps the man was getting sick and wasn't as okay as he thought, the more he thought about it the more he felt his face warm up. SV4 sighs letting go of SV3's hand, he turns to the door and lets out a shaky breath “Well i'm going to my room, not sure why i even came here haha!” 

SV3 wraps his arms around 4 pulling him into a tight hug “Did you…have bad thoughts about what happened?” SV4 shakes as more tears escape, his voice cracks “No…it was about losing to a boss fight.” Hearing his voice break 3 kept holding him close, slowly losing his control he breaks down crying. He turns and hugs SV3, crying into his shoulder. SV3 rubs his back “It’s okay, I also had a nightmare…mine was that you saved me. But..the claw didn't hit your eye, you got hit in your chest…” 

They pull away from each other, SV4 sniffs as SV3 gently wipes the man's tears “I’m not going anywhere, I think today I learned it's best not to go on solo walks.” 4’s face goes serious as he nods, he then presses his forehead against SV3. He freezes eyes wide, nervous at what the man is doing, SV4 softly smiles at him “Don't take this the wrong way, got it?” With a nod SV4 continues “I make an oath to you, SV3 i swear on the power of the TV world i'm not just the guardian of television. But I’m your guardian too!” SV3 smiles brightly at him “And I make an oath to you, SV4 that with the power of the TV world I will protect you. Never again will I let you get hurt again!”  They let out small giggles before SV3 shyly looks at his bed, he lets go of SV4 and bites his lip. He watches as his partner turns to leave the room “WAIT!” 4 turn’s looking at SV3 confused, he points to his bed. SV4 looks at the bed then at SV3 still not understanding what the man wants, with sigh SV3 shyly speaks up “I don't want to sleep alone after that nightmare, can you stay the night?”

SV4 eyes go wide in surprise before looking at his bed, he shrugs and walks to the bed. The smell of flowers was stronger on the bed than anywhere else in the room, it made him wonder if his room had a smell too. He gets in the bed and pats the spot next to him, seeing this, 3 skips and jumps on his spot in the bed. They both softly smile at each other as they get under the blanket, gently SV3 reaches out and touches SV4 face “You're still a dummy for taking long to heal your wound.” SV4 chuckles as he cuddles up to SV3 making the man’s face blush  “Yeah but it was worth it, now you're a part of the channel. Box head cant say shit about you making content." Slowly he falls asleep, SV3 smiles and pets his head. “I feel guilty that your words make me so happy, I'm thankful you were created along with me.”  With that SV3 closed his eyes and enjoyed a night of peaceful rest knowing his partner was safe in his arms. 

[polyestercleaner]

hello! Can i request dom Joost and sub reader with s degradation kink?

Thanks for the request >U<♡

|Summary:You had an argument with joost and instead of leaving you end up fucking.

|Content Warning⚠️: P in v, fingering, degrading, joost being a little rough on reader. Argument turns to sex if that's not your thing.

You've never been good at controlling your anger or your pain. Always letting those tears slip past your eyes when you couldn't make someone know what you feel, when you realize that maybe, no one will ever get you. "I thought you'd be there." You've asked joost to come by to hang out with you,

you wanted to show him some cool stuff You've done for your work. But instead he ditched you and went out with his friends. You felt hurt. Rightfully so. "Oh come on I'm sorry it's just... I mean is it that big of a deal schat?" He never raises his voice at you. Never. But tonight you felt like if you tried to get your point across any further he's gonna snap. And you won't like it. He never hits you.

Ever that's not who he is and it never will be. But he does get pissed much like any other person. You cross your arms as you walk towards your bed, sitting down as you look at him. He's starring at you, standing with a confused expression. He shrugs. "So what now your just gonna be pissed forever? I'm tired of this. I'm tired of you-I mean. I just can't right now" your eyes go wide as you register what he says. "Come again?" "NOT like that.You know that. I just don't get how it's a big deal."

You scoff at him. He's so ignorant sometimes you just wanna punch him. "I've never missed your concerts or when you get an award. I know im not at as high status as you, but I still achieve stuff." He groans as he turns away from you. "Oh fuck off here we go again with the status" your tears continue to fall as you grip the sheets underneath you.

How could he. You got up, walking towards him. Forcing him to look at you. He hates to see you cry and you know that. He rolls his eyes. But you knew he meant that as a way to get his eyes off of you. "Whats wrong with you" "Listen I AM sorry but I'm just trying to understand you here? How can I fix this ja? What's up whats going on I just don't get you sometimes." Anger is expressed in many forms, and you've been there in every form. Punching things. Yelling. Screaming and crying into a pillow.

But you've never done this. You pull him by his shirt and kissed him, your lips and his attached as you made out with him, he hesitated for a minute before kissing you back. Usual kisses with joost are soft, their sweet and sensual. But this was a kiss of pure hunger and anger. Your hands roamed his shirt as you helped him pull it off, exposing his chest as he slowly pushed you back towards the bed, shoving you ontop of it as he watched you quickly take off your skirt and shirt, your bra following along leaving you in thigh highs and your panties.

He hovered over your body as you made out on the bed. His mouth traveled everywhere on your body. Your neck. Your tits. Lapping at your nipple as he gently puts pressure with his teeth. You gasp as you both continue eating away at eachother roughly, "let me show you how sorry I am. Being all fussy and rude." He shoved your panties to the side before teasing your pussy with a finger, "wet enough for me yeah? You slut. All that fighting got you this horny? You like seeing me pissed? God your pathetic"

His words got to you. Making you even wetter by the second You groaned in response to the feeling of his finger sinking into your pussy, another finger following along, his pace was harsh and fast, his fingers long enough to hit that little sweet spot you never seem to reach to. You whimpered as you threw your head back, your hand grabbing at his wrist, you weren't pulling him off, you just wanted to feel a bit of his flesh since he was hovering over you. Simply watching with amusement.

"Your all gooey on the inside, need my cock inside of you liefde? Yeah?" You nodded quickly as you continued whimpering out his name in such a needy manner, your hips rolling to gain friction each time u felt his fingers slam fully inside of you. "Close.. m'close" you whimpered as joost kept starring at you. Nodding before speaking up. "Yeah? So close right? You wanna cum? You wanna cum around my fingers? Well..." your eyes widen as you felt him pull out of you. Leaving you empty as you watched him unbuckle his pants. "W-wha..." he smirked at the dumbfounded look you had on your face. He pushed himself between your legs before shoving his cock inside of you, joost usually gives you time to adjust.

To take in his features but neither of you were up for that. You tried your best to hold back your moan. If he was gonna tease you this way you were gonna atleast try to aswell.. he looked at you confused. A stiffled whimper leaving and he could immediately tell what you were doing. "Whatever your doing it won't work, you know how much I make you feel good. Just accept it. That's what you get for acting like a cunt."

You didn't care how much he insulted you. You loved every bit of it and you knew he didn't mean it, he knew it aswell. He gripped your hips before slamming his cock into you. His pace rough and harsh as you continued to try and stiffle your moans, "Let's see how well you hold up." He continued pounding into you. You threw a hand to your mouth as you stiffled the noises that urged to come out.

Letting a whimper slip by every now and then but ofcourse it wasn't pleasant enough as hearing your noises loudly. He frowned at you. Watching as you continued to try your best to tease him back. Whatever your technique was it was failing. You squint one eye shut as you suddenly felt joost pull out and slam back inside of you,

skin against skin noises echoing through the room. That was enough to break you. You let out the loudest and most lwedest moan you've ever let out. Shrieking as he began laughing at what you did.

"God you just never fail to be pathetic sometimes schat" he kissed your forehead before placing his hands underneath your arms and pulling you into a gentle hug as he grunts in your ear. You on the other hand, lost it all. All you could think of was joost. You couldn't even be mad anymore. He continued fucking you as you felt your orgasm approaching you.

You shrieked and whimpered like your life depended on it. Suddenly with a string of "Ah! Ah!" Noises you felt him cum inside of you, your orgasm taking over you, everything flashing white as you let out a pathetic helpless whimper. Your clit pulsing and burning as you held joost. "Dont let go...wait" you held him as he panted into your ear.

You heard him gently speak. "I'm sorry.. really liefde. I promise I'll be with you when you need or want me next time." You nodded. Shutting your eyes closed as you both took in eachothers embrace. Panting and grunting as he slowly pulls out of your pussy....

|THANKS FOR THE REQUEST YHEHE O_O

[slvtforwandanat]

Not that change you can borrow/ a Billie Eilish fanfic

Warnings: swearing, throwing glass, crying, slamming into walls

summary: ever since billie started working on her new album, she spent less and less time with you, talking to you less and less more, but smiling more as if she was happier without you, you felt you were loosing her but when you brought the subject up she brushed it off as bieng tired, but you have decided to do something about it, what is it?

You were drifting off to sleep on the couch, watching billies documentaries on Disney plus, it was around 3 am, your eyes were incredibly heavy, you had made some food for yourself and billie, you always re-assured her that dinner would be ready when she got back and you also said you would be there, as you were about to give up and sleep, you heard the front door open, you heard scooting and the low sigh of your girlfriend, you rubbed your eyes that were slightly red and felt plumpy and swollen, you went up to billie and gave her a hug "your back!" she was on the phone "Haha yea sounds great this weekend!" she hung up and met your eyes with a tired smile and hugged you back softly "hey babe" she stretched her arms wide while yawing "hey i made dinner" she stopped in her track, than continuing and grabbing a glass "oh yea thanks babe, we picked up taco bell on the way ill have it tomorrow" she said while obviously distracted by her phone pouring milk into her glass almost missing it, you smile faded, "hey is that a new shirt?" she looked up from her phone the dim light, revealing her curious face, she looked down "oh this yea, me and finneas went shopping, he got it for me awesome right?, speaking of finneas, me, him and our studio director are going out for dinner this weekend" you frowned looking at the table top and started to fiddle with your finger "b-billie what about out date?" she almost choked on her milk "shit sorry baby i completely forgot about that, next week ok?" she gave you a quick peck on the forehead before going upstairs still staring down at her phone, " night babe". you let out a sad sign and cleaned her cup and wiped down the bench, you heard billie yell for the stairs "hey babe ill make you breakfast tomorrow" this put a slight smile on your face, a couple minutes later you started to walk up the stairs completely drowned in your own tiredness, you opened the door to your bedroom, seeing billie fast asleep you get into bed and get in a cuddly position, you snuggled into her neck but she pushed your head away and turned away, you were a bit shocked so you just turned around, you didnt know why she had gotten so distant, you silently cried yourself to sleep and billie snored and but her legs on your stomach making you uncomfortable but you fell asleep soon….

You woke up to the light of your windows piercing your eyes, you thought your billie was home so you put on your dressing gown and ran down stairs 'BABE HOW ABOUT WE GO TO THE MOVIE-" you were met with a plate of food and a note "hey babe sorry i had to leave early here's some food, i wont be back until this weekend im staying at the studio, if i need anything ill text you love you" you eyes began to water you looked on the plate to see a MacDonalds burger and fries dried up and soggy, you looked in the trash can seeing the uber eats bag, you began to cry, you would've loved a call or even just a little bowl of cereal , now you had to cancel your reservations, an prepare to be alone for a week, your heart was slowly breaking, as the nights got longer and your crys got harder to control, every single message you sent billie was left on delivered, you missed her, but did she miss you?

after a whole week of loneliness, just like before at 3am you heard billie enter the house, you approached her you pushed you forward and just went straight into the room while on the phone and before you could say anything SLAM!, she closed the door, you figured she was just sleepy, but you just ended up ugly crying really badly, you used up about 3 tissue boxes, what happened to the love of your life? her face is more glower when shes not with you, is she losing feelings?

You slowly walked into your room with billie passed out again, you went onto her phone too see the hundreds of messages from you on delivered, but you went onto her and finneas messages and they were endless, i mean you get that she texts her brother alot but why not you, shes with him all day and she cant even reply to you, a pit full sorrow engulfed your lungs, silently choking on your tears, you slumped downstairs and grabbed a blanket, you figured you'd sleep on the couch, you blanket smelled like her which made you cry even harder, within no time you were passed out, you woke up the next day to see the bedroom door open you have a little bit of hope she stayed but just as you imagined she was gone, she left a note, you frantically ran towards it hoping for good, news "hey Y/n im goin out again, see ya this saturday" now you were really pissed, she called you by your name? didnt even say 'i love you' and just said bye?. she even forgot about the date you re-scheduled, you choked down your tears and watched a movie, you gave up on dinner and waiting for her, but you were triggered by the door opening, the tv screen dimming the room as you see your girlfriend, walk towards the kitchen "hey babe" you couldn't even reply, you started crying like a idiot, she walked over to you her eyes staring at her phone patting your back, "eat your food properly don't choke" you wiped your tears, broken at the fact that billie assumed you were choking becuase she was on the bloody phone all the time, you slapped it out of her hands, she looked like a clueless cat "BABE WHAT THE FU-" her eyes met your bloodshot watery eyes, "oh my god whats wrong?" you have, had it "YOU WANNA KNOW WHATS FUCKING WRONG" her face went pale, attempting to comfort you by rubbing you shoulders you swatted them aggressively, "YOU BARELY TALK TO ME, YOU DONT LOOK AT ME, YOU DONT KEEP YOUR PROMISES, DO YOU EVEN LOVE ME" her frightened face turned into a angry one "WILL YOU STOP BIENG RUDE, IM TRYING TO DO MY WORK AND I AM EXHAUSTED, AND ALL I WANA DO IS SLEEP OKAY, IVE APOLOGIZED" she was really turning it on you , without a second to loose, you slapped her making her green hair fly in the air, she slightly smirked and charged at you your back crashing into the wall with a thud, "WHY ARE YOU SO FUCKING DRAMATIC" her nails pierced your skin, eventually you got out of her grip grabbing a glass and throwing it at the wall, you were aiming for the wall but also wanted to kinda hit Billie she ducked and ran at you, you ran upstairs, and side stepped her into going into your bedroom you locked it, you knew very well that she would get out so you have about 2 minutes to do something, you ran down stairs and grabbed her keys you heard the door fly open "Y/N GET YOUR FUCKING ASS BACK HERE!!!!" you made a run for it and ran to your car door you could see billie zooming out of the house, you turned the car on and hit the acceleration pedal, you looked at the rearview mirror seeing billie on two knees crying as you left "IM SORRY BABY, PLEASE FORGIVE ME, COME BACK" she said while pacing as you drove off….

a couple weeks later you had settled into an apartment, your ex's album had dropped, you saw an ad about her song "Chihiro" in the interview she said "this song expresses my love for somebody who means the world to me, i didn't show them what they deserved and i got what i deserved but whatever happens i still love them" you shut your laptop trying not to cry you knew it was for the better, you opened your phone to see hundreds of missed calls and voice messages from her and thousands of texts messages, you simply blocked her, should have you just let her off?

[batqueers]

“are you sleep” no im not sleep you ran over me with a 16 wheeler

[skunkes]

if life is categorized by Before Loss and After Loss then I exist in the before but with a countdown to the after. and the countdown is always always present and debilitating. the loss will be debilitating too but i cant help myself. i will always suffer twice.

[pekoeboo]

"It's okay, Khalan. I'm right here. You're safe."

some Pain based on a few new developments within the SMP story. got a decently long explanation under the cut, for anyone interested.

so @cookieg122 and I decided that Khalan and Aya eventually find themselves in Aya's home dimension - a world ruled by a race of powerful fairies who are hell-bent on eternal conquest and proudly declare their violent Empire as the strongest in the world. Aya was their princess, having disappeared under mysterious circumstances (aka when she arrived in Drehmal), and her older brother had been searching for her ever since.

her sudden return ended up placing Khalan under suspicion though - as Aya's brother wrongly assumed that Khalan was responsible for "kidnapping" Aya and had him arrested as a result;; the corrupt king also got involved, hearing terrible rumors that were quickly circulating about Khalan and believing that he had hurt his daughter, so he made the swift decision to have Khalan publicly tortured and executed the next morning (multiple times over; since Khalan is immortal) as a way to make an example out of him to the Empire's subjects and remind them of what happens if they step out of line and threaten the royal family.

so of course Aya saves him!!!! she convinces her brother that Khalan is innocent so he also helps out with the rescue, and between the two of them they manage to stand up to their dad and save Khalan from a terrible situation ;n;;

there's like. so SO much more to this concept that I can't really explain, but that's roughly what's going on within the feelsy art here;; I kept thinking of just. the intense emotions happening within that moment, of Aya stepping up and taking on the role of comforter even though that's normally Khalan's thing. role reversal tropes always get me, and tbh Khalan just needs a moment to break down and process just how terrifying that whole situation was before he can help Aya deal with everything too;;

srry this got long, I wasn't sure how else to explain this pic without going into some detail. but I hope y'all can appreciate the feels anyway ;o;

Aya Armas belongs to @cookieg122 also on deviantart

[good-beans]

YES thank you @kyanako5972 for your service 😤👏 (I was actually looping them both for a bit but I keep forgetting to run it lately ah...)

And hehe I have been ✨enabled ✨Have some Triage thoughts, and feel free to add your own!!

Starting off with my main praise of the song: “I want to be Innocent, I want to live.” I know the point of milgram is that all the characters are going to get worse, but I feel like this video is the first t2 song we’ve seen a prisoner get better. (People have talked about his savior complex being an issue but that’s coming after the inno verdict, in Triage he specifically says he never wanted this to be some kind of hostage situation where he has the power to save/kill people.) This is when we can finally see one of our verdicts go right. The others had an issue, or creeping guilt, or uncertainty, but Shidou gets over any uncertainty right then and there – he wants to live again!! In a series so full of death, in which half of the cast makes some reference to suicidal thoughts, plus two victims who did commit suicide, there’s something extremely profound about seeing one of them change their mind onscreen. We hadn’t gotten a moment of healing like that before, and I doubt we’re ever going to get one again.

The moment itself is shown very accurately and beautifully, in my opinion. His expression when he makes his statement about wanting to live is so unique. It’s not a smile, it’s not a grimace, it’s something in between. His voice is strained, but set. He’s not excited about it – when you’re in that mental place, it isn’t a cheery switch to wanting to live, it’s a grit-your-teeth and pick yourself up and make the tough choice. It’ll be so, so hard but by god you have a job to do. It made sense, given all the previous mentions of him helping Fuuta and Mahiru – he had a lot of complicated feelings about being a doctor, but he remembered that saving others really is his purpose in life.

And then the shock factor. Because of that moment and the family reveal, I think this video had the biggest twist of t2. The others had surprises, sure, but they were hinted at in the voice clips and vds, or they just exaggerated things we already knew about the characters. I was completely blindsided by Triage. Everything leading up to it paralleled Shidou with Mahiru, so I thought it was just a lover he’d lost (and maybe someone he’d just met or something). He had his moments with Amane, but I always assumed it was because of her connection to him, not vice versa. I assumed he was just overdramatic and killing people for some lady he’d fallen for, and then decided to take the easy way out and ask for death. So to find out he had a fully established family, wife and two kids??? To see his main character trait from season one was completely reversed??? (but in a way that wasn’t at all forced???)

Now, it’s much easier to make a character unlikable than it is to redeem them. We saw how quickly the fandom turned on certain characters, we felt pangs of horror for many of them. But it’s very difficult to make someone like a character they’d previously despised. Which is why I’m insanely impressed with the way those three minutes could undo months of my hatred toward Shidou, and bring me literally to tears over him. Suddenly his actions weren’t so selfish, as rash. He’s not taking the coward’s way out. He had incredibly good reason to do what he did, and now he’s taking accountability and choosing to face pain in order to atone. I’ll add more in a sec, but it’s not even that the video shows him as this perfect saint. Without holding back on everything he’d done wrong, it conveyed a real, grieving human that really moved me.

Of course the music itself was amazing – Shugo Nakamura sounds incredible. I don’t know too much about actual music structure, but the tone of both Shidou’s songs manages to be so fun and relaxing while simultaneously filling you with that profound sadness. It’s like an embodiment of his peaceful, sad smile. There’s something so human about his voicemail message, and it’s unique hearing different types of speaking parts in a song! But that moment is also foreboding. You wonder why he missed the call, and who’s calling, and you kind of already know, and you hear the three beeps as the line is dead. Then there’s the gut-wrenching return of those sounds, with the added visuals bringing to mind a dying heart?? Insane. 

And lastly, the visuals are gorgeous. Bringing back the flower/pomegranate symbolism in a similar but new way was perfect. The bright scenery and picturesque scenes really emphasized how happy he was. The video is so bright. His family is gorgeous, they’re happy. His neighborhood is sunny and warm. His house is comfortable and light. Which meant the dark scenes contrasted perfectly, driving home how jarring his loss was. And despite all the good things I said about him before, the video isn’t actually trying to paint him in an innocent light. There are literal graveyards behind him, showing how much blood is on his hands. The rotting food is such a disgustingly painful way to show what he was doing to people. He handed the tag directly to his son, showing full accountability: he gave his son his fate, he killed him himself. The images seem beautiful at first, especially compared to AKAA’s dark, bloody rooms, Backdraft’s grim tunnel, and INMF’s monstrous bees. But no matter how lovely it looks, it successfully  conveys a truly horrendous crime. 

In conclusion Shidou my fucking beloved. Go watch Triage again :3

[theokusgallery]

The problem with my art right now is that 1) the little drawing time I have goes to @daily-basil ; 2) I have phases, and am currently deeply unmotivated ; and 3) when I do draw what this blog is currently about (Arsenic) I draw him in a gay way (because I love him deeply) and not like the unhinged person he actually is. I'm sorry I'm so soft about him right now. Yes I want Sunny and him to tear each other apart but they also need to love each other so so so much first

[scorpiusmalfoylovesoscarwilde]

most days I'm so chill with the fact I'm non-contact with my father, it was the best decision, I hate him, my life is so much more peaceful without him

then bam it's a random Tuesday at 8pm and I'm sobbing because I miss having a dad, like, excuse me what is this??

[rivalsilveryuri]

let’s him walk around on my palm

ruby and sapphire

[josephquinncurl]

I'm just here to remind you all that Eddie Munson is the sweetest baby boy in hawkins that never did anything wrong in his life and was trying his best to graduate and don't end up like his dad. 😔

[tianhai03]

before i go to bed, here’s a couple of colorings C submitted in the past few days!

[thanatos-nightshade]

Im so sorry i played Our Life: beginnings and always and not only has it sucker punched me with bittersweet feelings of life and change and relationships but its also thrown me into brain rot hell of it. Im sorry if ocean boy cove floods your feed get it? Its a pun

[infizero]

ok guys i dont wanna be a hater but im gonna be 100% honest i didnt rlly like the nimona movie 😭 I MEAN IT WAS FUN. it was nice. but i feel like it was missing everything that made me like the original graphic novel and honestly by the last like 30 minutes i was kind of just waiting for it to be over so i could read the book again 😭 NO HATE TO ANYONE WHO RLLY LIKED IT believe me when i say i dont think it is bad or anything. but i feel like just sooooo much was changed that it didnt feel like nimona at all to me. idk how to explain it, im sure once i reread the book i’ll be able to put it into words since the original will be more fresh in my mind. i think it was good but as someone who was literally obsessed w the og graphic novel it was honestly kinda disappointing. but i dont rlly care honestly its still rlly cool it got a movie!! 

but in my mind at least it proves that some things dont need to be made into a movie. ppl act like movies are the best form a piece of media can take and if something gets made into a movie then that’d be the peak form of it. but i honestly think nimona works wayyyyyy better in its original graphic novel form. most of the early stuff is way more slice of life lowkey stuff that lets you get attached to ballister and nimona as characters and get invested in their relationship w each other, BEFORE all the angsty final act stuff happens. also there honestly was just a ton of stuff that felt to me like it worked better in the original, like jousting tournament thing instead of the knighting ceremony, nimona being captured and being forced to turn into her “true” form rather than this new version with it just sort of happening bcuz of Emotions, etc. also the movie suffered from a lot of pacing and tone issues imo but the former i think is just from that lack of the slow buildup of their friendship, and the latter is something that i think just worked better in the book. idk again I’LL BE ABLE TO SAY THIS STUFF MORE CONCRETELY WHEN I ACTUALLY REREAD THE BOOK but i dont remember there being so much jokes and goofy shit DURING serious scenes. like iirc in the original during serious scenes it was SERIOUS. but in the movie theres so many unnecessary unfunny jokes and stuff. idk IDK i probably just had too high expectations idk. anyways

[thedevotionaltour]

thinking about daredevil yellow again im not. going to make it Guys.