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#im so use to bad stuff draining me
the-kipsabian · 5 months
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watching old stuff (like, beginning of aew) and this is kips first match of tv/dynamite. the fact that he can hang with the fucking elite says so much of the level of talent he actually has
the crowd is chanting "this is awesome" while hes in the ring, having winning offense against matt jackson
hes being put on notice here. he makes people take a double take. he doing well in a tag match against the elite. he had a banger before with hangman. he won the first ever singles match in aew history
so fucking by god tell me why is kip sabian still overlook, under rated as all hell and not given opportunities to prove himself when back FOUR YEARS AGO he was this fucking good and now hes even better
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rouge-the-bat · 2 months
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the adhd-fueled desperation to create for hyperfixation vs my adhd struggle to do anything or even decide between the million ideas i have is my own personal hell. im dying squirtle
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tkbrokkoli · 8 months
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how are my mutuals doing
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seventh-district · 6 months
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i’m not like other girls, my “Rest” stats are a heart rate of 110bpm and a HRV of 14 fucking milliseconds. :)
#Seven’s Public Diary#vent#vent post#cw vent#cw vent post#cw health#cw heart#i’m so stressed :) i am soooo fucking stressed and my body is Suffering because of it#i want to just lay here and stare at the ceiling but. maybe a little venting will help#sighhhh wish [N]MbD Sun were here to obsessively fret over me#he can be mean about it idc. at least i’d have someone acknowledging how bad things are for me#sometimes i wonder when the last time was that my body Wasn’t in fight or flight to some degree#have i Ever actually relaxed#hhhhhhh c-ptsd is a bitch#anyways there’s so much to vent about but i’m. doing my best to be vague. i need to be more vague about things#a lot of stuff i can’t vent about anyways. it’s too personal#so instead i’m gonna complain abt how i haven’t been able to play Genshin or Star Rail for nearly a month now#and about how slowly my back is recovering. it’s like every time i re-injure/have a flare up. it heals.. worse. slower and lesser#i dunno how it’s ever gonna get better. truly better. maybe i’ll live with this forever#if being fat is the problem which is definitely partly is. then yeah i’m fucked#all of my problems just make each other worse and i don’t know where the way out of it all is#every time i think i’ve found it i’m wrong and i just make it all worse#anyways as soon as i figure out how to strengthen my core without breaking my back. it’s over for u bitches#‘u bitches’ being uh. all of the shit that needs doing that i cannot physically fucking do right now#i miss being able to sit down. and i’m Regretting de-converting my standing desk back to sitting bc now. i cannot use my PC#which means i can’t fucking do a some of my work or play my silly little gacha games and i’m mad abt it#i’m mad abt a lot more serious things too but again. can’t talk abt it so i’m gonna focus on trivial shit instead#anyways. sorry as always to everyone i haven’t spoken with lately. and in general. i’m so drained from the Everything that i just. can’t.#it shouldn’t be this hard for me to stay in touch w ppl but. it is. guess i’ll add that onto my list of things to be stressed about#i’m so tired of everything man. and i hate being so negative and mean when im stressed & in pain. makes me feel like im becoming my father
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lord-shitbox · 1 year
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Back at work for the first time in a month. Dying
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athemarina · 2 years
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hey everyone <3 i know i've once again been mia and i probably won't have a lot of time to be here in the coming weeks either; uni is really kicking my ass lol but!! i've put some stuff in the queue and will continue lurking until my thesis is fully done :') to everyone who tagged me in tag games recently - i'll do my best to get to them as soon as i have time to write again and i'm looking forward to it!!
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hey alexa what’s the morality of pretending you picked up a spare shift at work and that’s why you ghosted your friend for a day because talking to them is draining and you were very tired last night and now it’s been over 18 hours and it’s a bit awkward to respond now
#silv's back on her bs#vent#sors but oh my god#i love my friends i love him but it's just so.#it is so draining talking to him when all he seems to talk about is how much happier he is (which is v good im happy for him) now that he's#friends w me and some other people and how we're so much better and we're his best friends and his other current friends are the worst and#his life USED to suck but now it's so much better but remember how much it sucked and yk fuck whatever we were talking about before when we#can talk about how bad the past was for him i just#i feel so bad for saying that bc i genuinely love him (/p) and want to be able to talk to him but i'm so drained from literally everything#else going on in  my life that when i see his notifs pop up i just. can't be bothered to open them#he texts the gc last night like 'you guys have different friend groups that you eat w at lunch right?' (we have lunch together every other#day bc of club stuff) and when me and my other friend was like 'yeah what's up' he starts going on about how his current friends suck and#ignore him and i feel so bad for being annoyed at him for this but i just#need a second to BREATHE for gods sake#i do not blame him for feeling terrible and i know that I need to tell him how im feeling but i just.#i'm consistently never getting enough sleep and am piled under assignments that were due way too long ago and i'm drowning okay#and i feel like there's literally no one there as a lifeguard that i can count on and someone that i thought could at least be floating#above me (not needed to save me but at least There) is pushing me down further#i just#god#sorry that was a bit silly of me
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the-lady-amphitrite · 2 months
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in need of serotonin or something. might go watch Deadpool & Wolverine again to see [REDACTED] again bc i want to see my special guy and feel happy
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fabulouslygaybean · 2 years
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it's frustrating being the only person out of all of my friends to have sensory issues
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frogbi · 2 years
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lowkey super anxious to post this but im missing you guys so much <3
i plan on a solid return soon! i just wanted to get off my chest whats been going on:
Earlier this year, I dealt with an awful situation of my kinky stuff leaking into real life. My insane coworkers found my content and as I was serving on the clock, proceeded to show my customers and all the staff. then i was fired. Im traumatized to say the least but I over came it.
Come mid summer, I planned so step back for a little bit to move apartments no more than a couple weeks. What happened was both my job (i worked with close family friends so stressful) and a really bad situation with a companion found about my kink stuff. i never expected or was prepared for the humiliation, deception, and pain that would come from my fetish journey
My last job was such a loss. I had been blessed with a cute job as a medical office assistant without any credentials (i wasnt doing anything out of my capabilities of course) it was so peaceful and perfect compared to the drama of my last gig plus working with familiar people felt just like home honestly. Then I got covid. I was out for 2 weeks, at the same time i was moving into my new place. I tried calling them back to let them know I was cleared and ready to get back to work. I received a humiliating text. I was dismissed. That turned into a crippling anxiety of them confessing to my family what I do in my past time
The following week I was met with more disappointment. Ive said this before but I dont have many people in my corner. It used to suck to admit but I stand with pride now knowing those who are around me love me 100% regardless what I do or dont do.
One of my dearest dearest friends, who I had previously communicated what I do (not to a full extent they always respected it) called me very dramatically only a week before I planned to see them (they live across the country and we ALWAYS visit each other when in our cities) It still doesnt feel real tbh, the call only last 40 seconds. I was informed that “I was going on the wrong path” and could no longer be associated with. That’s alls that happened. 8 years down the drain
I was informed by outside sources that my hometown opps had gotten hold of my content (who my ex friend still associate with but I despise bc they’ve always been obsessed with me but in a bad way) and they had confronted him about being my friend. he pussied out and cut me off. they also mass reported my last instagram account😡🤬
I had to take some time back to seriously debate if these loses were worth it. I was swallowed with so much anxiety knowing that an uncomfortable amount of people in my zip code knew what ive been up to. its already complicated being into this and while at the same time not being in a plus size body. thats another conversation tho
That debate has turned into me accepting these events as the universe weeding out people/things that no longer serve me. This has shown peoples true colors, if I am not to be associated with because of my sexual freedom, body acceptance, and undoing of fat phobia then PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE.
Im recovering ❤️‍🩹 but my heart and hedonism can’t be helped. i love being a kinky lil gut slut. its helped me grow in so many ways from acceptance to living an esoteric dreamy life. i love all the hot girls and guys that i see on my timeline. they hype me up and vise versa. i love this little corner of the internet. my fellow freaks keep me going. i’ve been so on and off online but every time i come back to the sweetest words and support. thank you guys for your patience and consideration
my anxiety is to the roof as im typing. its crazy that these privacy problems havent been within the actual community. funny. if your still reading this I love you extra. ill be streaming on ig on my comeback day!
new ig acc @missfertileandferal💘
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inlovewithl3vi · 1 month
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hello i hope your life is very good! may u do how the brothers' would react to seeing mc just randomly staying in their room all day in their bed, not even eating to the point that they've started to lose a lot of weight. sorry for any English mistakes and I hope you have many blessings!
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I’m so sorry it took me forever to respond to this!!! I’m horrible at writing anything that’s a lil sad, because then I get sad. I’m gonna try my best though! I also decided to write the brothers separately, I’ve never done that before so I guess I’m just gonna try it and see if I like it. This also might be a little ooc but whatevs.(P.s. i hope your life is good too!)
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Lucifer
✧ It started when RAD went on break for a while, about three weeks. It was only supposed to be one, But problems started and now it’s three.
✧ You started to stay in your room more, only coming out to eat or on occasion to do something with someone if they asked.
✧ He doesn’t notice when you start missing breakfast. His brothers sometimes sleep in too, he understands that your only human.
✧ He only worries when you haven’t been at the table at breakfast or dinner.
✧ He’s a little embarrassed too, since he didn’t even notice until the third week has started and you haven’t been seen for 3 days.
✧ This definitely raises red flags in his head, he knows humans are fragile compared to demons.
“MC? I know you’re in there…” he knocks on your door, waiting for some kind of response. When he doesn’t get any he just opens the door and walks in. It doesn’t even matter if it’s locked, he’s still gonna open it.
✧ When he walks in he just kinda stands there. He can notice a change in you, not just the fact that Your body looks physically different but also that he can tell your exhausted.
✧ Eventually he walks up to your bed and sits on the edge of it.
✧ You’re playing on your DDD and look up. You already know what it’s about.
“MC… what’s wrong?”
✧ You look up at him and see a mix of worry and sadness on his face. You immediately feel bad, not realizing that he cared that much.
“Nothing, im Fine” you shrug and look back at your DDD. “No you’re not.” He takes it out of your hand gently. “I can see you’ve lost weight. You also look just so… drained” you sigh, knowing you have no choice but to explain.
“I’ve just been so busy with work at RAD I’ve just kinda been on autopilot. I guess I just… crashed”
✧ He sighs and wraps his arm around you when you sit up.
✧ You’re not used to that kind of attention from Lucifer, so you decide to enjoy it while you can.
“You should have told me MC… you’re only a human, your body needs these things you’ve been putting off.”
✧ You nod, knowing he’s right.
✧ In the end you talk to him more and agree to get help when you need it this time.
✧ He also makes sure you’re eating well, he doesn’t enjoy seeing you in a worsened state.
✧ You actually make him promise he’ll be more careful about overworking himself and skipping meals, since he’s also a little guilty when it comes to that kind of stuff.
Mammon
✧ With him you don’t last long doing that.
✧ He notices almost immediately. The fact that you’re not there at breakfast to remind him why he goes to RAD in the first place, to see you when your in class together. To make you laugh at stupid jokes he makes, to just be there with him.
✧ He notices when you’re not at dinner either, not having you there to defend him when his brothers get a little carried away with making fun of him. Or to tell him his new scheme sounds good, but it’s not actually the best idea (you’ve probably had that same conversation so many times, but he’ll still take your advice)
✧ So after 5 days he can’t take it. He’s seen that you started online classes and that nobody has seen you around the house at all.
✧ He decides to take matters into his own hands and get into your room.
✧ I would recommend opening it when he knocks, because he WILL break it down.
He immediately starts asking questions. “Hey! MC what do ya' think your doin?” You look at him as he comes in, not even giving you time to go back to your bed after getting up to let him in.
“What do you mean?” You rub your eyes a little, clearly having been asleep moments prior. “I mean look at ya! You’ve clearly lost weight. And I mean don’t take this the wrong way… but yer face don’t look to human no more” you just stare at him blankly. “What” your expression doesn’t change as you look at him. “You look like some kinda zombie… why haven’t you been eating? Ya kinda look like you haven’t gotten much sleep either…” you shake your head a little before speaking “I was just asleep” he rolls his eyes at your response “what for the first time in a week? When did you eat last? I haven’t even seen ya out of your room”
✧ You go back and forth with him for a moment, trying to get him to believe you’re fine.
✧ It doesn’t work though. But I mean, were you really expecting it to?
“I guess with the combination of having so much homework and being in a new place it just caused me to… I don’t know… crash? I guess I have been ignoring my needs” you look away from him when you explain.
✧ His gaze softens when he looks at you.
“MC… ya know you could have told me. I’m your first! You’re supposed to go to me for these things!” You can’t help but chuckle a little at the slight pout on his face.
✧ Eventually you and Mammon talk a little more and he decides he’s going to help you talk to Lucifer about how much work teachers give you. (Since it really is an inhuman amount) and although he can’t fix the fact that you were just thrust into a literal brand new world, he decides he’s gonna do everything in his power to make it better for you.
Leviathan
✧ As much as I love him, he wouldn’t notice at all.
✧ In fact it took his brothers mentioning it before he noticed you were never at any meals they had together.
✧ He debated going into your room to check on you. He was so nervous to upset you, since whenever he shuts himself into his room it’s for a reason (mostly because he doesn’t wanna be disturbed).
✧ Eventually he found himself standing outside your door.
✧ He knocked gently, silently hoping that you wouldn’t respond. That was until he heard a quiet “it’s open” coming from inside.
✧ Although he was nervous, and quite honestly didn’t wanna do this at all, you always checked on him so it was time to return the favor.
“MC?…” he calls out as he walks into your room.
✧ He finds you in your bed, trying to keep your eyes open as you play on your DDD. You don’t even acknowledge him when he walks up to you.
✧ He debates just walking out again, just acting like nothing’s wrong.
✧ That’s until he notices that you’ve clearly lost a bit of weight, and you don’t look like you’ve slept in a week.
“MC… I just came to check on you. Uhm- are you alright?”
✧ He mentally curses himself. Obviously you weren’t ok.
✧ You look up from your DDD and can immediately see concern on his face.
“Levi-“ you start to say you were ok but stop yourself. You know you’re clearly not ok, and you can’t really deny it.
“I- uhm… It’s something stupid, I’m sorry for making you worry. I guess I just got a little carried away with shutting myself in my room.” You look away from him when you talk.
“It’s not stupid if it makes you shut yourself away like this” he’s nervous when he talks, he’s almost surprised he didn’t stutter. “You… you told me that when I shut myself away it’s not stupid.”
✧ You sigh and smile a little, knowing that you helped him before so maybe you should let him help you.
“I- I think I’m homesick” it’s almost shameful to admit. The fact that you miss your family and friends, even though you have a good life here.
✧ He nods, acknowledging your problem.
“I can’t fix that… but uhm… you said that hiding in your room away from your problems isn’t a good thing, I’m not sure how to make you feel better… but uhm you can always come in my room you know. Just… take care of yourself” he mumbles slightly, clearly nervous about saying something to comfort you.
“Thanks Levi” you sit up and lean on his shoulder, He’s internally freaking out but somehow remains calm on the outside as to not scare you away.
✧ You decide to get up and eat something before heading to his room.
✧ You had decided to take him up on his offer and go into his room.
✧ When you get there he’s playing some sort of game, silently focused on what he’s doing. He looks over at you before immediately going back to his game, already knowing why you’re there.
✧ You crawl into his bathtub bed and pull some blankets over you. The calming sound of the clicking of his controller slowly makes you more tired than before.
✧ For that moment you don’t feel as homesick, you promise to take care of yourself better. Mostly so that you can be around your second family in the devildom.
Satan
✧ He notices almost immediately that you’ve been skipping meals and not coming out of your room.
✧ Even though he notices he decides to let you figure out your problems on your own, since he knows sometimes people just need a day or two away from people.
✧ But when it lasts more than two days he’s immediately concerned.
✧ He starts texting you asking if you’re ok and if you would like him to bring you anything.
✧ After four days he gets sick of waiting and just decides to go to your room.
✧ He walks in without knocking, and you’re sitting at your desk with papers piled high all around you.
“MC? What are you doing… you haven’t come out of your room.” He looks at you with a concerned expression on his face.
✧ You look up from the paper you were writing on and turn towards him.
“Gotta study, I just finished this week’s homework not too long ago” you shrug and turn back towards the paper in front of you.
“MC it’s the weekend, you haven’t come out of your room in four days. How were you even getting your work from RAD?” You shrug before responding “I paid Mammon to leave it outside my door for me, the teachers just think I’m sick.” He sighs at your response. “You shouldn’t need to do this, you’re basically working 24/7 by the looks of it… you look like you’ve even lost weight.”
✧ You just shrug again and ignore him.
✧ He wasn’t having any of that though.
“Fine. If you insist on working so much why don’t you let me tutor you after RAD? I’ll help you so you don’t have to spend so much time on it” you shake your head at his suggestion. “It’s not even that, the work is so much… and I just don’t know it. I mean I didn’t even know demons existed a couple months ago! How am I supposed to know devildom history? Or the fact that I’m just a human and seductive speechcraft is basically useless to me. I have to work hard yet the only person I can keep up with is Mammon.”
✧ You can feel yourself getting more and more upset as you continue to talk so you stop and turn away from Satan.
“MC… you should have told me, or any of my brothers for that matter. And although I hate to admit it, you should have told Lucifer” he sighs and places his hand on your cheek, making you look at him. “You shouldn’t neglect your health for grades.
✧ You let him pick you up and carry you into your bed before pulling the blankets over you.
“I’m gonna bring you something to eat, I’m sure you’re hungry.” He smiles at you before stepping out of your room.
✧ Although he was telling the truth, he is going to make a stop into Lucifer’s office.
✧ Just ignore it if you hear Satan screaming at him, he’ll just tell you Lucifer was annoying him anyway.
Asmo
✧ He’s another one of the brothers to notice immediately and try and help you, a little similar to Mammon.
✧ At first he doesn’t think too much of it, just keeping the fact that he hasn’t seen the cute human walking around in his head.
✧ That’s until he sees you at RAD.
✧ He hadn’t seen you the last 5 days of the week, but after the weekend comes to an end and he finally gets to have a class with you at RAD he’s going to start freaking out a little.
✧ He hadn’t seen you at breakfast or dinner, wich was odd to him but he assumed you just went somewhere else.
✧ He immediately realized that wasn’t the case when he saw you sitting at the table you two shared in devildom history class.
“MC! What’s wrong” he’s immediately scanning you up and down, taking a mental note of how exhausted you look along with the fact that you look like you’ve lost weight. “Oh hi Asmo. nothings wrong” you shrug and turn back to your notebook.
✧ He also noticed that fact that you try and hide your face a little from him.
✧ But that won’t do, he hasn’t seen your face for 5 whole days. Wich is far too long for his liking.
“No, we’re not doing that. I haven’t seen your pretty face in five days. Five whole days! Were you even at RAD the last three days last week?” He places his hand over yours as he speaks. “No, I stayed home… I got my work from a friend” you reply, still looking away. “MC… something’s clearly wrong. You can tell me, I promise whatever it is that’s making you neglect your health we can fix. You should know how important it is to take care of yourself!”
✧ You sigh, debating on whether you should tell him or not.
✧ Ultimately, you decide that if one person can help you it’s probably Asmo.
“I guess I just… didn’t really feel good. I still don’t. I mean, the lack of sun down here really isn’t helping my skin at all. And I’ve been so tired from having so much homework. Not to mention Lucifer just added more chores for me to do. I guess I’ve just felt so… ugly. I don’t even want to be here right now.” You can feel tears form in your eyes as you fight to push them back.
✧ Asmo just pauses for a second. He realizes you are going through the same thing he has before.
✧ He places his hand gently on your cheek, making you look at him.
“Oh MC, you should have told me” he has a look. Of genuine concern on his face as he places bother hands on your cheeks. “I know how you feel, believe it or not even the beautiful avatar of lust has off days.” He smiles slightly at you. “That’s no reason to neglect your health though, now let’s go. We’re gonna go home and have a very long spa day… and night, we’re having a sleepover too”
✧ He smiles brightly and takes your hand, almost dragging you out of the classroom with him.
“Won’t Lucifer get mad? We still have like three quarters of the day left” Asmo just chuckles as you make your way out. “I’ll deal with him later.”
Beel
✧ Yeah you’re not gonna get away with not eating with him. He notices the first day you’re not at dinner and he’s immediately worried.
✧ The only way you really could is by telling him you have food with you when you really don’t.
✧ Until he notices you haven’t come out of your room either. Then he’s even more concerned.
✧ You’d probably be alone for a 4 days before he checks on you in your room.
“MC… you haven’t been at dinner… or breakfast… and I haven’t even seen you eat lunch” he pouts slightly when he sees you laying in your bed. Your DDD is on and in your hand but you’re clearly not paying attention. “Hmm? Just haven’t been hungry” you mumble and sit up.
✧ He’s definitely internally freaking out when he sees you. You’ve clearly lost weight, and to him that’s probably the worst thing imaginable to happen to the human.
“MC! You don’t look good at all…” he’s surprised and worried at the same time. “What’s wrong? You can tell me” you shrug before speaking “I don’t really know… I just lost my appetite. I haven’t been able to sleep to well either, it’s been kinda hard to get out of bed.” You look down, a little embarrassed to admit it.
He sits down on the edge of the bed and nods as you talk. “You should have told me, i would have tried to help sooner…” he’s almost a little disappointed with himself that he didn’t come and help before.
✧ You talk with him a little more, explaining your situation.
✧ Eventually he offers to carry you to the kitchen with him and you agree, deciding that next time you feel this way you’ll ask for help so you don’t worry Beel.
Belphie
✧ Again, as much as I love him he doesn’t notice at all. He also doesn’t care as much either.
✧ You’ve probably been missing from meals for a week by now and nobody’s seen you around the house.
✧ Belphie has a habit of falling asleep at the table after only eating half of his food, so he doesn’t always remember who exactly was there.
✧ He notices when he’s going around other peoples dreams.
✧ He has a habit of using his powers to go through each of his brother’s dreams at night, making sure there’s no nightmares and that they’re all asleep. None of them know of course (Lucifer does, but he doesn’t mind. He almost thinks it’s sweet that Belphie actually cares about his brothers in some way)
✧ You don’t know either. But you haven’t been sleeping at night, and Belphies noticed. He hasn’t been in your dreams lately and he only realized when he had a thought that he was missing something.
✧ He’s always liked going into your dreams, he liked seeing how your dreams were mostly of him and his brothers. So when he realized he hasn’t been in one for quite a while he’s concerned.
✧ He does the one thing he hates the most, he wakes up in the middle of the night for you.
✧ He immediately makes his way to your room, not bothering to knock as he walks in
“Why haven’t you been sleeping?” He immediately asks when he enters. You’re sitting up in your bed, reading a book. “I can’t sleep, I’ve tried everything. I can’t eat either. I think I’m just rotting away in my bed.”
✧ He can’t help but sigh. He can see that you’re exhausted and that you’ve clearly lost weight.
“Move over” he says simply as he moves to crawl into your bed. “Put your book away too.” You raise a brow at him but do what he says anyway. He clicks off the light and pulls you in close to him.
“What are you doing?” You immediately ask. “Helping you sleep. I can do that you know, you should have come to me earlier.” You roll your eyes slightly before enjoying his comforting embrace.
“Oh, and you’re gonna eat tomorrow too. If you really feel like you can’t, I promise to help… somehow”
✧ You sigh contently and nod. He places his hand over your eyes a you feel a weird wave of tiredness overtake you. Just before you fall asleep you hear him mumble something.
“Don’t do that again… you had me worried”
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poppy-metal · 4 months
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hear me out... what if we combine some of the thoughts? stepbro! patrick who finds out that you've been posting videos of yourself online. every night going to some porn site to jerk himself out. using the videos to imagine different things to do to you until he finds an account that really scratches that itch inside of him. she looks like you. this solo pornstar he's found and he finds himself stalking each video you post. leaving a multitude of comments and feeling a rush of adrenaline when you respond to them. but then he starts to notice something - your walls look familiar. the posters you have on them, the paint color, and in fact so does what you're wearing. he realizes that the girl in the videos doesn't just look like you. she is you. immediately he's full of different thoughts and ideas. after he finally comes down from the realization (and also drains his balls to the copious amount of content he has for you) he makes a plan. 
he comes into your room one night, stifling through your stuff as you protest it. when he finds the camera hidden in your closet he turns around with that classic patrick smirk. "you planning on becoming a star?" he asks softly. you look at him confused but also concerned knowing nothing good happens when patrick gets that look. "a pornstar, i mean," he says with a grin. you can't even protest before he's shaking his head. coming closer and closer to you. "i know about your account. found it weeks ago. don't worry, i'm not gonna tell. didn't realize it was you at first but then i recognized the room. you know, that's the bad thing about not showing your pretty face. anyone could see it and fuck themselves to the videos. know i did."
he gets almost a sick satisfaction while telling you. watching the color drain out of your face. the way your breathing picks up. the look on your face as your mind can't decide if you're disgusted or turned on by his confession. he tells you that he wants to help you. so much so that he wants to star in your videos too. you'll get really popular then if your audience can watch you get your brains fucked out by some guy. he expects you to need a minute but you say yes almost immediately. your mouth dry from the anticipation and it's that night that you both film your first video. camera pointed down at you with your face barely out of camera while patrick fucks you from the back. hands gripping your hips rough enough to make bruises while he splits open your pussy and you babble out. its easy to pick out the titles when patrick runs his mouth the whole video - "mmm, yes, such a fucking slut wanna show the whole world how you take your stepbrothers cock? can't even keep it a secret." 
it only takes a month of uploading videos together for a company to reach out with an offer to provide better cameras and a paycheck. 
-☕
despite what you post youre a good girl, really. you were kind and sweet and got good grades all throughout school. you tried to make nice with your stepbrother even though he got under your skin all the fucking time, like that time he threw a party when your parents were out but wouldn't let you dance with robby dickenson. like, what the fuck? "he just wants you to suck his cock because his girlfriend wont".
"maybe im fine with that."
"im not."
and that was that. he always got his way. thats when it started, you're pretty sure. a sorta fuck you to patrick, and also a way to rebel in a way. your first video had been you deepthroating a didldo you'd bought. you didnt know what it would become, just that you loved every second of it. the camera filming you, the lewd act of filling your mouth for a bunch of people to fuck themselbes too. it felt wanton and dirty. it was empowering.
so your fear of patrick finding out wasn't that he'd found out, per say. you were more afraid of him taking this from you. you weren't shocked by his admission, but you were by how much it turned you on. you'd sunken alot further into the pits of depravity than you'd thought. good girls didnt fuck their stepbrothers. good girls didnt get dry in the mouth at the sight of his thick cock bobbing free. good girls didnt pull up their shirts because he'd asked them to, straddling your chest with the camera angled at your chest. "pull your tits out, show big brother those hot little nipples."
and you do, you show him, you show everyone who will be watching and you do it eagerly. you should snap at him not to call himself your big brother, but in reality the acknowledgement of what he was, of how bad you were being just made you all the more wet.
"you're not a good girl at all, are you," he asks, zooming in on the peaks of your nipples. reaches down to roughly palm one of the bouncy little tits in his hand. "always so tight lipped and quiet. you know my friend, art? he just thinks you're shy. wonder what he'd think if he knew you were shoving things up your pussy for old pervs onine to rub off to."
hes one of those pervs. but you dont say that. instead you push your chest out, bite your lip and look up at him with wide pleading eyes."no im good, big brother, i promise."
he spits out a quiet fuck under his breath. you cant stop eyeing the thick length of him between his thighs, dripping and hard and you want your mouth around him you dont care how wrong it is, you want him filling your throat and yanking your hair and calling you all sorts of names.
he makes you prove it. the camera doesnt spend long at all in his hand, eventually tossed shakily on your bed and you have to reach for it yourself, pull it close to your face as you're oushed and pulled and groped like a ragdoll, on your stomach as patrick palms at your ass.
"wanted to fuck you for so long."
"then do it."
there's alot of talk in the comments of the video when its posted, talk about the stepsibling talk being a nice little touch, some want to know if the man has an account of his own, videos of himself. they like the way he fucks you. hard and demeaning, slapping his hips off your ass with the force of his pounding cock in your cunt. they like the way he talks to you, "tight little fucking cunt,gonna fill it everyday. when i come home sweaty from practice you're gonna be a good little sister and spread your legs for me, let me at that pussy. gonna sneak in here every night, fuck you full of cum even if you're sleeping."
instant hit.
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akunya · 2 years
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eiiiiii the idea of getting private meeting with camboy vox HELLO. you make me suffer for good stuffs every single day 😭💦 can you spoil me a little bittttt. - 🐱
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“private session.”
pairings: camboy!vox akuma x male!reader
summary: congrats, lucky winner! because of your generous donations, vox reached out wanting to thank you in person. things, however, take a turn.
tw: DRUGGING, yandere, manipulation, voice fetish. camshows, drinking, implied noncon. age gap, etc.
notes: last fic of 2022! im posting this mere minutes from midnight, so please pardon any mistakes. ill go back and edit this a bit later.
and yes, i can write a part 2 if you truly wish. sorry for cucking you guys, again..
happy new year everyone, thank you for such an amazing 2022. i hope to write much more in the future!
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“im at the right place, aren’t i..?” you mumbled to yourself, frigid, clammy hands swiping your phone to make sure the location was right. the restaurant looked a bit trendy and sophisticated, somewhere you wouldn't dare step inside on your own. you and vox both agreed on a restaurant to meet at around eight o'clock. to be truly honest with yourself, you never thought you’d have the guts to do something like this — but when vox, the streamer who you’ve been watching for months daily and donating to everyday reached out to you personally, how could you say no?
nonetheless, sitting across from him at the table really made you wish you had refused.
for one, he was much too ethereal to be in your lowly presence. the camera didn’t do him justice at all — his pale skin was a nice contrast to his black hair, adorned by his signature red highlights. he even wore the red eye makeup that you loved to look at, except now, you could see his mouth and bottom half of his face, uncovered by the black mask he would usually wear. his lips looked so soft, and when his tongue darted out to lick them you were nearly going to faint. we’re those.. fangs? his canines were sharp, and you felt like a pervert for staring so intensely.
you quickly paid your respects to the other fans who would never know that vox, a niche but popular adult streamer, was a truly beautiful man in person.
you didn't even notice how silent it had gotten between the two of you. “no need to be so quiet. i don’t bite, i promise.” vox’s sweet voice snapped you out of your thoughts, apologizing profusely for zoning out so much. “you’re right! im sorry, ive just never done anything like this before..” you chuckled awkwardly, shifting in your chair while vox just smiled. he found your skittishness adorable. you reminded him of a scared little bunny — and he was the big bad wolf, ready to eat you up whole.
"what a shame. and here i was thinking you do this quite often, with how you accepted my request and all." the demon smirked at how your face flushed, becoming a stuttering mess. you should've expected it, but he was just as snarky in person as he was on his live shows. as your little meeting continued, vox realized he enjoyed your presence much more than he thought. the night was filled with friendly but interesting conversation, and for once, the demon didn’t feel forced to keep speaking.
at first, he debated on meeting with you in person. what if the person who donated nearly thousands to him each month turned out to be not as pleasant as he hoped? while the demon wouldn't be surprised, he would be a tad disappointed with all of the free shoutouts he's given to you. still, with you being his top donator for a while now, he felt compelled to show some form of graciousness. a little present, just in time for the holidays.
vox enjoyed streaming more than he thought he would. even though he could use his voice and other demonic powers for much grander, sinister things - for some reason, using them to tease and drain the wallets of his viewers was surprisingly just as satisfying. doing this, he never had to worry about getting a silly job like most humans did, letting the demon truly relax when he wasnt tampering with cameras and himself.
but, you, however - vox liked how shy and nervous you were. it awakened a sick monster inside of him, that wanted to see you cry and beg for mercy at his fingertips. he thought his days of toying with mortals was over, but unfortunately (or fortunately?) for you, you seemed to rekindle that fire in his heart. if he didn't know any better, he would've never expected you to be someone that watches adult streams online, let alone spend money on them.
taking advantage of how anxious you were, vox continued to ask questions about yourself, forcing you to blurt out answers in hopes of not screwing up. "so, what do you like about my streams, y/n?" the male swiveled the wine in his glass nonchalantly, golden eyes looking into yours, awaiting an answer. you gulped, shakily drinking yours as well.
"um, well, you're the first streamer i've ever really watched for.. that sort of stuff. i initially liked how your voice sounded, and wanted to hear more, but i ended up staying for your little stories and when you'd talk about yourself. you just seemed really nice." it was a bit embarrassing when you had said it aloud, but it was the truth. you enjoyed the moments where the demon would just ramble the most. of course, given the content of his streams, most of the things he'd speak about were so dirty it made your ears feel hot - however, there were moments where he'd just talk about his day, and you seemed to enjoy those the most.
it was vox's turn to blush, his grip tightening on the wine glass ever so slightly. how could a mere mortal make him feel so... flustered? hes had his fair share of affairs over many decades, however, never has he felt so vulnerable. the demon was expecting you to talk about his cock or something, but of course your innocent little head wouldnt do that. you should be thankful vox isn't a cannibalistic demon, or he seriously would've eaten your heart out by now.
therefore, the man didnt feel any remorse when you went to the bathroom and he slipped a drug into your drink while you were away.
it wasnt his fault - how was he supposed to let you go after today? someone as sinless and pure as yourself needed to be his. vox wouldnt be content with letting you go back to being another viewer behind the screen, not after your little meeting. the demon knew truly that you probably wouldn't refuse going home with him, but that also didnt guarantee you'd accept his offer. he considered the drug just a bit of a push in the right direction, if you will.
"sorry for taking so long. there was a line outside, so.." your voice trailed off, going back to your seat as the older man simply chuckled. why did you feel the need to explain yourself? it didn't matter how long you took, even if you tried to run now, vox would surely find you. pouring some more wine for himself, he filled his glass a bit more to match yours. you tried to tell him you weren't too keen or interested in alcohol at the beginning of your little date, but the demon wouldn't take no for an answer. "y/n, lets have a toast, shall we?" his held up his glass expectantly towards you, waiting for you to clink the rim with your own.
you hesitated for a moment. the smell of wine never enticed you, but seeing vox wait earnestly made your heart flutter. one glass shouldn't hurt, right?
you simply nodded, the familiar clank of glass against glass being shared between you two before drinking. you drank a majority of the wine, only leaving a small amount left. "good boy. its good, isnt it?" you nearly sputtered the drink back up from the praise, nodding again and drinking the rest in one gulp. it was much different hearing his words of affirmation in person. it felt addicting, unreal.
"thats it. a toast for the new year, my boy. im excited for the memories we shall make together. aren't you?" oh, did vox mean his streams? of course you looked forward to those, how could you not! he was the highlight of your day, making you smile and laugh. "mhm! im excited. im looking forward to your streams, vox." the demon felt a shiver roll down his spine, suppressing a groan. he could get used to you saying his name. he wanted to hear you say it in other ways, too.
"i hope we can get more.. personal, as well, y/n. it was truly delightful being here with you." the man had such a way with words, making you swoon. was he this nice with everyone? no wonder he had so many followers! while you didnt know the true extent to what he had implied, you agreed, telling him that you were happy you came out today.
of course you were. you were his little rabbit, frail and gullible, unknowing of the big bad wolf sitting across from your very table. he truly wondered just how oblivious you could be, but much to his delight, he'd find out soon enough. your eyes started to feel heavy, zoning out while he talked about random things to keep you occupied.
"goodness, y/n, are you alright? you look a bit pale. here, let me take you back to my place. i don't live far at all." his voice was sickeningly sweet, how could you deny his offer? you nodded drowsily, letting the man hold you to steady your balance.
the cold air of the outdoors didnt phase you, and neither did it bother vox. peering at your sleeping face, he smiled, leaning in to kiss the top of your forehead.
"happy new years, y/n. lets have fun together." vox whispered in your ear, turning the corner towards his apartment.
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kaisfruit · 10 months
Text
Motivation (Sportacus x GN!Reader)
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a/n; i'm just gonna drop this rn bc im taking a while on some of your guys' reqs! i promise im working on them, but i feel bad not posting much so...have this fic i wrote and finished a few days ago while i continue on writing other things <3 warnings; probably ooc stephanie and sportacus and i totally just made stuff up but like,,,otherwise no warnings! <3 word count; 7.8k
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Lazytown was exactly how the name described it; A lazy town. Though, with the arrival of Stephanie and then Sportacus the town had its days where it definitely picked up in activity. 
Unfortunately, it seemed as if you couldn’t get any of this energy that was being spread around.
You had attempted to perk up like so many others by starting with a simple job, but that didn’t do it. You still had the job of course since there’s not a lot of people in Lazytown who have the job as an ice cream vendor. Despite your efforts it seems as if these active attitudes have hit everyone but yourself. You really were trying! You tried to exit your house at least once a day (even on days when you didn’t have work!) That usually proved too much for you after about 5 minutes and you’d retreat back within the comfort your home provided. You had tried eating healthier, as you had seen Sportacus advise the kids, but it was semi-successful at best. Those things were just harder to make or find and you simply did not have the energy to deal with such a thing.
It was no surprise to you when Stephanie approached your ice cream stand with a frown on her face.
“Good afternoon, Stephanie.” You greeted, a customer service smile on your face. “What’s up?”
It took her a moment to process your question as she had gotten distracted by the mini-menu on the front of your cart. She had said she would get ice cream for the other kids so they could take a slight break from playing before getting back to it, but that didn’t mean she didn’t have an ulterior motive to offering to go.
“How are you doing?” She decided to ignore your friendly question with a question of her own.
“I’m good, thank you for asking.” Your brain seemed to work on autopilot here, the socially acceptable response tumbling from your lips. “How are you doing?”
Stephanie shook her head, “no. How are you really doing?”
“What do you mean?” You tilted your head in confusion at her, suddenly intrigued by what she was implying. 
Stephanie pursed her lips at you and it seems as if her focus had switched off the chilly treats completely. She wanted to speak to you. You mentally grimaced, this is why you usually stayed in your house most of the time.
“I think you should come and play with us!” Stephanie had a big grin on her face, leaning slightly forward as she looked up at you with big eyes.
“Oh…um,” you averted eye contact awkwardly, “I don’t really think I’d be that much fun…” You trailed off, feeling a bit bad. But it just felt…wrong. Your brain was screaming at you to just be active like everyone else and to spend time with the townsfolk. Yet your body had an argument of its own that your energy was too low and it would only drain you further.
“Sure you would!” Stephanie was adamant. “Everyone has more fun when they’re doing something!!” She had leaned more forward with the palms of her hands resting on the top of your ice cream cart. Her face filled with hope.
You shut her down.
“I’m sorry Stephanie, but I just don’t think I have it in me.” Your voice reeked of tiredness. “Do you want to buy ice cream? Or some popsicles?”
The girl seemed to deflate a bit, but begrudgingly paid for a few popsicles to take back to the others. A small treat was always welcomed by everybody. Well, everybody but…
Stephanie suddenly had a greater pep in her step than she had previously.
Meanwhile, you let out a huff of air as Stephanie began walking away. That was genuinely tough. You knew you had an issue, but you didn’t know it was bad enough to catch the attention of anyone in town. You didn’t even know if anyone in town noticed you outside of the ice cream stand! And that wasn’t in some “you’re so dark and mysterious and not like the other girls” way, but in a genuine way that you didn’t do anything too impeccable but you’re not completely forgettable either. When asked who lived in Lazytown, the citizens could pick you out just fine. Just when it came to such bright figures appearing in town, it didn’t seem like your problems were a big deal. There were bigger matters to be dealt with. You were just one person in an entire town, and it’s not like you were hurting anyone. You just had to convince yourself you’d get through this drag in your life eventually. It would happen one day. This endless slump that has existed your entire life, you had to believe it would go away one day. A day where you’d feel the energy to get up and maybe make a meal for yourself, or to go for a walk in the morning, or to even make your bed. Even if it hasn’t happened yet, it will happen. Maybe…
You leaned forwards against the ice cream stand and rested your elbows on the top to support your weight as you hung your head downwards. You sighed heavily as you closed your eyes. Just had to get through the rest of today then you could go home and feel the comfort of your bed. Just had to get through the rest of today. You’ve done it before, you can do it again. 
And you did just that. Since Stephanie had bought the treats in bulk, the day went on pretty smoothly. There were only a few other purchases here and there, but that was about it. Closing up shop made you let out a sigh of relief. You could finally let yourself recharge, even if it was just a little bit, but it was enough to get you through another day. 
As you walked to your house, you couldn’t help but think of your weird interaction with Stephanie earlier. She had been in town for quite some time now, so why was she suddenly taking an interest? Had she grown bored with everything else? That was unlikely. So unlikely that you questioned why you even thought about it in the first place. Had she seen everyone be active but you and wanted you to be included? But still, why did it take her so long to approach you? Nevermind. You shouldn’t think about it like that. Its not her job to make you feel included. But then…why?
You shuffled your shoes off at the door and closed it behind you, inhaling a deep breath as you finally got to experience home once again. If it were up to you, you’d just spend all of your time here and nowhere else. Technically, you could do that, but you really were trying to better yourself even if it felt useless. 
You mustered up just enough energy to switch into pajamas before falling asleep on your bed. The sheets warm and welcoming like an old friend who you hadn’t spoken to in years yet the bond still alive and going. You felt yourself smile lightly as you let sleep take you.
A sleepy groan escaped your lips as the sound of knocking on a door is what woke you up. Squinting blearily at your alarm clock you read a time that was far too early for your liking. You laid there sprawled out for a bit, hoping the visitor would just go away, but within a beat the knocking started up again. With a bit of mental preparation, you got yourself up and out of bed and slowly began shuffling towards the door.
Rubbing an eye with one hand, you opened the door expecting to see a neighbor wanting to speak to you about them not getting their mail or something of that sort, but you blinked rapidly at the true sight before you.
It was Sportacus. The town’s very own superhero!
Your tiredness seemed to melt away instantly and you stood up a bit straighter at the sight of him. He had never come to speak to you directly before, what was going on?
“What’s going on…?” You mumbled, voicing your exact question aloud. This earned you a slight chuckle from Sportacus.
“Why don’t you tell me?” He countered which instantly clued you in to one thing.
“I’m fine,” you smiled, “I don’t know what Stephanie said, but everything is well and okay.”
Sportacus frowned slightly, yet still wasn’t deterred in the slightest. “Well, you should go and get dressed!”
“What for?” You squinted at him confused, you had barely just woken up. “I don’t have work today.”
“All the more time for activities!” 
You grimaced at his answer. “What?”
“Come on, it’ll be fun!”
There was a pause in conversation. A silent battle happened between the two of you until you eventually sighed in defeat. You didn’t even have the energy to fight against it. You shut the door on him for a bit as you dragged your feet along the ground as you went about your house doing everything you needed to get ready for the day.
Finally, you made your way back to the front door and opened it to see Sportacus standing in your yard seeming to be admiring the grass and trees within the small area. It brought a small smile to your face as you shut your door behind you. The noise got the man’s attention and he flipped over to you, a spring in movement that never failed to surprise you whenever he did it.
“So, what activities are you having me do?” You asked, hoping to just get all of this over with as soon as possible. This would probably be a good first step for you, but you just didn’t feel the motivation. You felt no drive. 
Sportacus grinned as he rested his hands on his hips, “how do you feel about some breakfast?” The question caught you off-guard and you guessed it showed on your face as Sportacus laughed a bit. 
“Eating?” You voiced your confusion. “That doesn’t sound very…active.”
“That is where you are wrong.” Sportacus grinned, “just come with me.”
You followed behind Sportacus as you eventually left your house. Usually, that was your least favorite part of your day, but the hero had you too curious for you to even think about your house right now.
Very soon, it became very clear what he meant by eating being active.
He had insisted you two walk the longest route possible and this could quite possibly be considered the most walking you had ever done in your life. It was probably due to the incredibly fast-paced speed Sportacus had started you two out with. You were trying your best to keep up, but the distance began growing and growing until eventually Sportacus turned around and ran back to where you were.
“Don’t worry, it’s just a bit of warm-up!” He tried to reassure you, but your legs were too achy to really take it in. You thought you could do a bit of walking but maybe…
“Do you think we could walk a bit slower…?” You tried, not looking at him. He seemed to contemplate this before realization dawned on him.
“Yes, we should! That is a much better way to ease you into this.” Sportacus nodded as your head jolted up to look at him. “I’m sorry for not realizing my own speed.” He clapped you on the shoulder before gesturing for you to continue on with him. You felt awestruck, yet slowly took up a pace at his side.
“This is much better.” You smiled, a sigh of relief escaping your lips. “Thanks for listening.” 
“What kind of slightly above average hero would I be if I didn’t listen to those around me?” Sportacus proposed the rhetorical question. “I love it when you guys help me as much as I help you! That’s how growth happens.”
This sparked conversation between you two for the rest of the walk. Now that it was at a slower pace, it allowed for your guys’ words to flow freely between one another and it felt as if you were truly getting to know the hero. It was….fun! A feeling that felt completely new yet familiar in Sportacus’ company. 
“The perfect place for breakfast!” Sportacus announced abruptly, pausing in his steps which caught you a bit off guard. You look around the area with a slight frown on your face. It was a park. A park which you had never seen before (which wasn’t saying much.) There were trees scattered about and the grass was neatly trimmed. Sportacus seemed proud and took a seat beneath a tree, you stayed standing as you quirked an eyebrow at him. 
“This…isn’t a place to eat?” You asked as you still frowned. This got a good laugh out of Sportacus which only confused you more. You really were expecting a quaint café or a restaurant or even a food truck, but not an empty park. 
Sportacus just pulled out two granola bars and tossed one at you and, unsurprisingly, you didn’t catch it and it landed on the ground. You slowly bent over to pick it up and looked at the wrapper, trying to identify the contents. 
Timidly, you walked over to where Sportacus sat on the grass and decided to finally sit next to him as you made quick work of the wrapper. You tucked the plastic into a pocket, you may be lazy but hurting the environment was a no-no, and took a small nibble of the granola bar. 
“It isn’t the most healthy option,” Sportacus started once you had finally taken a bite, “but it isn’t junk food either. You will need something light for the start of the day! A bigger breakfast can come a bit later once your stomach has settled.” He shot you a reassuring smile as he said that. 
“Why do I need something light first?” You asked, wiping your hands on your pants to wipe off any leftover granola residue after you finished. “I thought a good breakfast is good for the brain?” You weren’t exactly sure about that, but you were pretty sure you had heard Sportacus say that before. 
“Right you are!” Sportacus agreed with a nod. “But I did say we were going to get active, yes?” You nodded slowly. “Well, that wouldn’t go over well if you had a full stomach. Getting sick would not be ideal.” Realization dawned on you as he said that. Sportacus was going to have you doing actual big time exercises? Right off the bat?! You don’t think you’ve ever taken the time to exercise in your life, which is probably why you felt so incredibly sluggish all the time, but still! That sounded horrible. You’d much rather just lay in your bed all day and maybe be on your phone when you’re not sleeping…Yeah, that sounds more your speed.
“Um…how active?” You asked as Sportacus reached his hands out towards you which you accepted as he pulled you up. 
“Nothing big! I promise you.” He grinned, slowly releasing his grip on you once you gained balance. Strangely, you missed the warmth his hands provided. “The hard stuff won’t come until later.” The look that came across your face must have been some sort of funny as it caused Sportacus to chuckle. 
“Come now, we’ll start light. Then we can get actual breakfast. How does that sound?” He spoke calmly, surely luring you into a false sense of security even though you knew Sportacus didn’t have an evil bone in his body. Your body slumped in defeat as you let out a sigh while nodding. The elf was absolutely beaming. “Great! Let’s get started!”
An hour later and you were drenched in sweat and could barely catch a breath. Meanwhile, Sportacus looked as if he had barely done anything. You were insanely embarrassed by this fact, but he was trying his best to help you feel normal.
“You’ve done great so far!” Sportacus praised, whipping out a water bottle which you gratefully took. Truth be told, he was right. You didn’t do much. Just a few cardio workouts and he allowed you to move at a comfortable pace. Still, that didn’t just erase all of your years of no workouts and you were now contemplating if you could even do this at all. “Honestly, I’m surprised you’re still here.”
“What do you mean?” You panted, lowering the water bottle from your lips.
“Well, when I first got here it took a while for everyone to just…take my advice?” He said this more like a question, as if the right words for what had happened weren’t coming to him. “I could maybe get 10 minutes of working out before getting ignored. You’re a real trooper!”
You weren’t sure you quite believed him, but you appreciated the effort. Everyone really seemed to enjoy Sportacus’ company and were happy to engage in activities with him. No way the citizens started out ignoring him? “Thanks.” You finally said, a light smile on your face. 
“Anytime!” Sportacus clapped you on the shoulder. “Now, about that breakfast I promised–” Your eyes widened and you perked up which made him huff out a bit of laughter. “Let’s head out. Then we can take a walk after and then, I’ll let you have the rest of the day as you want it. It wouldn’t be right for me to control your schedule and make you do what I want.” You nodded gratefully to him with a smile and you two slowly made your way out of the park and towards a local restaurant that was currently serving breakfast. 
The conversation while eating flowed seamlessly and it was nice having someone’s company. You weren’t expecting the town’s superhero to be such a great hangout companion, but this charisma of his is probably how he gets others motivated towards bettering their lives. It was…appreciated. You didn’t really know if this would fix everything for you, nothing could be some magical one trick quick fix, but it helped put healthy behaviors in a positive light for you. At least a little bit. Your bed and your house still sounded like the most perfect place in the world, but you wouldn’t mind getting out like this every now and again.
After lunch, Sportacus took you on a walk as he had promised but this time your time with one another was spent in silence. It wasn’t bad. Quite the opposite. You probably talked more today than you had in your entire life, so quieting down and just appreciating your surroundings while in the company of someone else was perfect. You’d probably feel like a huge dork if it was just you walking around all quiet like this, but Sportacus being there just made sense. 
You weren’t quite sure when the walk would end and it seemed as if it wouldn’t until a familiar head of pink hair began to make its way over to your position. Sportacus got a bit shifty on his feet as she approached while you just waved at Stephanie with a smile on your face. A genuine one compared to the customer service one you had given her yesterday.
“What’s up?” The girl asked, a smile on her face. “Did your guys’ morning together go good?”
You nodded at her. “Yeah. I’m exhausted to be honest.” You laughed which caused Stephanie to let out a little laugh of her own. “How’d you know we’d been out together?” It was with that question that you finally noticed Sportacus acting a bit off. Stephanie just stifled a laugh behind her hand at his behavior and you were made aware of the fact that they knew something you didn’t.
“Well, Sportacus here–”
“Stephanie told me about how you were at the ice cream stand yesterday!” He quickly interrupted her which only caused the girl to laugh a bit louder. “So she knew of my plans to come out and help you.” That made sense you supposed, but why would the two of them be acting so weird about it? Sportacus seemed to have a light red hue to his face and Stephanie looked like the cat who ate the canary.
“Well, I’m gonna head out.” You began awkwardly, a nervous smile on your face. “Thanks for getting me out of bed this morning, Sportacus!” You waved and the other duo waved back to you before you turned and began walking away. In the distance, you could hear more of what you assumed to be Stephanie’s laughter. 
What was so funny?
-
This routine continued on for a month. Sportacus would wake you up in the morning, you’d work out, eat breakfast, then part ways. It became a part of your routine even if some days you guys would switch it around because of your job or his self-assigned duty to help the town against Robbie Rotten. It, strangely, became a welcome change to you. Maybe the change you had been trying to make all of these years had finally come to you. You just needed a little push to get the ball rolling. You found yourself actively making the bed in the morning, choosing more healthy options to your usual diet, you even started noticing you didn’t dread leaving the house as much anymore. Sure, you still had a few of your quirks like thinking you deserved a little treat for every success or preferring to sleep in, but you weren’t dragging your feet along just trying to get by one day at a time. This was the best you had felt in a while!
Once a few more weeks passed after that first month, you started hanging out with Sportacus more outside of his personal training with you. You got along with the hero surprisingly well and it felt nice to finally have a close friend within the town. With his help, you finally began talking and making friends with other townsfolk. You had accepted Stephanie’s requests to play or hang out more and more. Being around everyone really made you feel like you were a part of a community instead of just being some random face within one. Sportacus had helped you a lot…
“Soooo whatcha thinking about?” The voice startled you out of your thoughts and you suppose you jumped a little too because a “relax, it’s just me,” was quickly added on. You lifted your head up from where you were staring at the ground to meet the eyes of Stephanie. A light smile graced your face as you gave a nod of acknowledgement towards the girl as she sat down on the bench beside you.
“Nothin’ really.” You answered. “Just sitting on this bench and looking at my surroundings.” Stephanie pursed her lips at that answer as if she was hoping to hear a different one. But she let that grievance go with a sigh and instead decided on something else to talk about.
“I’m really proud of you.” 
“For what?” You huffed out a laugh. “I haven’t done anything.”
“What do you mean?” Stephanie said to you, wide-eyed. “A month or two ago, I would’ve only seen you at your ice cream stand! Now, look at you, I found you out in the wild without any coercion from anyone in Lazytown!” You shrugged at what she said and she comically deflated where she sat. 
“I mean, I guess…” you began slowly, “but this really isn’t much. I really haven’t done anything. It’s been Sportacus’ influence.” The mention of the hero had her perk back up and she leaned forward a bit in her seat. She was now swinging her legs since they didn’t quite touch the ground and her hands rested on the seat of the bench.
“Still! You’re the one doing the things!” Stephanie encouraged.
“Yeah, but–”
“But what?”
You sighed, “I’m nowhere near his level! How am I supposed to truly be better if I’m not even up to his active standard?”
“Are you joking?” Stephanie deadpanned with a raise of a brow. “He was made to be active. I like to have fun and play and move around, but at the rate he does it? No way!” You were silent after that, your gaze once again focused at the ground. Stephanie was having an internal battle with herself before she finally let out a groan of frustration before speaking. “Besides, you’ll always be up to his standard. He’s…” She had a pause as she searched for the correct word. “He appreciates every ounce of your effort. He appreciates you.”
Stephanie let that sit with you and decided to finally go silent herself.
Sportacus…appreciated you? Well, he probably appreciated everyone he was nice like that. But hearing the words made you…feel something. Something that had your face heating up and making your stomach do flips.
“Th..Thanks, Stephanie.” You got out, a shaky smile on your reddened face. Now this was what the pink-haired girl wanted to see. 
“Anytime!” She said with a grin and waved jovially as you excused yourself from the park bench and began speed walking home. You barely had half the mind to wave back as you were in such a rush. Why were you in a rush again? Your mind was scrambling with ideas that you barely even registered that you had made it home. 
Closing the door behind you, you quickly locked it and leaned back against it as you let out quick breaths of air. You held a hand to your chest as you had to force yourself to even out your inhales and exhales. What had gotten into you?
Sportacus.
He was so nice to you, so kind, supportive. Could you have…
You hopped into the shower, a shaky attempt to clear your head. You just needed a shower and to go to bed. That’d fix everything. After that it’d be like Stephanie never said anything that made you think about something you’d been pushing down for weeks. Girl math!
Those things didn’t help.
In fact, you couldn’t even get to sleep. Your mind was running wild with the idea that you maybe sort of fell in love with Lazytown’s slightly above average hero. You had done everything you could think of: counting sheep, drinking a warm glass of milk, breathing exercises, etc. But nothing would calm your racing mind and rapid heartbeat. The only person you felt comfortable enough to call at a time like this just so happened to be the source of the issue, so you were forcing yourself to suffer all by your lonesome.
Sportacus was most definitely nice to everyone in town just like he was with you. You’re so stupid for falling head over heels for a man over the slightest acts of kindness. But he was just so sweet and he took time out of his day to make you feel included and he was charming and–
You needed to shut up (even if you weren’t actually speaking.)
Safe to say, you didn’t sleep that night. By the time you heard the routine knocks on your door, your head was swimming with unsolved drowsiness. Knowing who it was caused a pit to form in your stomach, but you still got up out of bed and shuffled slowly towards your front door. You opened it up just a crack and saw the man himself standing there like he always did. You noticed him perk up when he noticed the movement, but a frown formed on his face when you didn’t open the door all the way.
“Is everything alright?” He asked, peeking through the small crack in the door to see a sliver of your figure.
“Yeah, I…um…give me a moment.” Your voice was overwhelmed with exhaustion as you closed the door and slowly got ready for the morning. It seemed as if sleep had tried to win too late because your mind was no longer racing with thoughts of Sportacus, but instead it felt blank. You can’t believe you pulled an all-nighter. Granted, you really tried not to.
Finally you made your way back to the front door and Sportacus was quickly on you once you made a step onto your front porch. He had noticed the slightest shift in your behavior and damn it if that didn’t make your heart skip a beat.
“Let’s go.” You smiled at him softly which caused a bit of the tension to drop from his shoulders, but he was still on guard. He couldn’t really tell what was wrong, but he knew something was off. 
He carried most of the talking on your guys’ way to the park and you were happy to listen, trying your best to suppress any yawns so that he wouldn’t take it as a sign of disinterest. How could you not be interested in everything he had to say?
Sportacus handed you a fruit cup for today’s light breakfast and you accepted it as you two sat side by side under a tree while eating. The conversation seemed to fall as you two ate, or, as Sportacus ate. He didn’t realize you weren’t until he felt a head fall against his shoulder. The elf jumped a bit and looked down at you and noticed you had fallen asleep on him as he heard a soft snore drift from you. A fond smile graced his features at the sight. That answered every question he’s had since seeing you this morning. You hadn’t had a good night’s rest. But what was the reason for that, he wondered. Carefully, he grabbed the fruit cup from your hands and set it aside to avoid a mess and began taking some time to figure out what to do. Sportacus was not very fond of staying this still if he wasn’t sleeping, but you probably needed this more than your daily workout even if it would ruin your sleep schedule for a bit. You also looked so incredibly peaceful and he couldn’t say he wasn’t glad about the fact that you trusted him enough to fall asleep near him.
To be honest, Sportacus has taken an interest in you since he had first arrived in Lazytown. Despite having the same problems as literally every citizen here, you were kind and you really did seem like you wanted to be doing your best. Plus you got along well with the kids (which may or may not have had something to do with your job) but he spent a long time admiring you from afar. He wanted to help you like he helped everyone, but he was selfish, And by that he means that you made him incredibly nervous. An emotion that the elf didn’t feel often, so he struggled to deal with it. Stephanie, the ever so observant kid she was, noticed his glances at you, the way he seemed extra interested anytime you were brought up in conversation. Once piecing together what all of it meant, that’s when she had made her way up to your ice cream stand that day. She didn’t want to be outright with anything, but she at least wanted to help Sportacus talk to you and what better motivation for him than to help you out of your slump. Stephanie didn’t know if you two would be all romance, but what kind of friend would she be if she didn’t help out the one person who was always helping everyone else? 
That’s how Sportacus got himself into this current situation. He realized he had been staring at you the entire time he was lost in thought and got embarrassed by that fact despite the fact no one was around to see him. You looked cute when you slept, but this surely wasn’t an ideal place for you to sleep, especially with the position you were in as your neck would definitely feel it when you woke up. With a disappointed sigh, Sportacus shook you awake.
“Wha?��� You exhaled, rubbing your eyes a bit. You blinked rapidly trying to get a feeling for where you were even if you had only been out for at least 10 minutes. Upon realizing your position, you quickly lifted your head off of Sportacus’ shoulder and apologized profusely with your face lit up a bright red.
“It is alright! I promise!!” He chuckled lightly, a smile on his face. Yeah, you were cute. “We can workout another day. I think you need to catch up on some sleep.” You tried to protest, but a yawn cut you off which made you groan. You began moving to begin the walk back home, but found Sportacus doing everything for you and at his super fast pace so you couldn’t even begin to protest. He had picked up your fruit cup and every other belonging you both had brought along before holding his hands out to pick you up like he often did. You looked up at him with wide eyes and softly rested your palms on his. His grip didn’t falter as he hoisted you up and you stumbled forward closer to him once on your feet since you were a bit disoriented from your lack of sleep. A matching set of red complimented both of your faces at the proximity, but your eyes stayed locked with his. A beat passed before your gaze casted downwards, getting nervous at the prolonged eye contact.
“Come on, I’ll walk you home.” He spoke softly, his hands still clasping yours. You rubbed your thumbs along his knuckles absentmindedly as you nodded at him. You’re not sure who pulled away first, but your hands separated and you two were now walking side by side. Finding yourself incapable of walking in a straight line, constantly bumping into Sportacus as you walked, you felt a strong arm come to rest along your shoulders and it held you steady. You gasped at the touch, but welcomed it all the same. It felt nice.
Meanwhile, Sportacus was a bit panicky. Was this too much? You weren’t complaining, but you always were extremely polite. In all honesty, he did just want to help. No one could walk perfectly straight all of the time, but he noticed how your constant faltering was getting on your nerves and while he didn’t mind it, he wanted to relieve that extra stress. But what if this was the wrong way to go about it? He would not be overthinking it this much if it were anyone else…
“What kept you up last night?” He decided to ask. You tensed up at the question and sent quick glances at him as your heart began racing again. How could you answer that? You were NOT about to pour your heart out to this man. No amount of sleep deprivation could get you that delirious.
“I don’t know,” you eventually settled on, “just couldn’t get my mind to ‘turn off’ I guess.” Sportacus nodded as if he didn’t quite believe you, but he trusted your boundaries enough to not push past that.
The rest of the walk continued on in relative silence as he never let go of your shoulders until you two had safely made it back to your house.
“Thank you for walking me back.” You said as if he didn’t walk you back everyday. “I’m sorry for cutting today short.”
“Don’t worry. Your well-being always comes first.” 
You two spent a moment just staring at one another as if neither of you wanted to actually separate from the other.
“I hope you rest well.” Sportacus broke the silence and sent you that damned smile of his, the smile that made you weak in the knees. And you nodded, a soft ‘thank you’ escaping your lips as he somersaulted off to who knows where. You let out a sigh of contentment as you shut your front door. He was something else.
You couldn’t fall asleep faster.
Stephanie knew something was up as soon as she saw Sportacus zooming around the town square haphazardly as he was doing an assortment of exercises. A slight frown was on her face as she watched the hero for a few moments before calling his name. This made him pause and he looked over at the girl. His attention finally had her walking over to him.
“Hey, are you okay?” She asked. “You’re usually like this when you need to, I don’t know, occupy your mind or something.”
Sportacus was conflicted on telling Stephanie anything. On one hand, he knew she knew he had feelings for you, but on the other why would he let the child get mixed in with his love life? She was extremely intelligent for her age, but that didn’t make it any less strange in his head.
“Is it about [name]? Pleeeaaaassseee tell me it is! I love hearing about you two!” She exclaimed with a big grin on her face. His reaction was everything she needed and she clapped excitedly. “Are you guys finally together? Wait no, can’t be. You wouldn’t be so stressed out. But no way they rejected you either hm. What if–”
“Stephanie.” Sportacus began which effectively quieted the girl. “Nothing happened.”
The girl quirked a brow in disbelief and crossed her arms along her chest.
“Nothing happened! Seriously!” Sportacus exclaimed. “They didn’t get much sleep last night so we canceled this morning.” He explained.
“Ohhhh so you are upset?”
“No! It is very much important that they get the proper amount of sleep. It’s just, what if they’re sick? Or something is wrong? Those are the only reasons I can think of that would make them lose sleep.” He finally voiced his concerns and it got Stephanie thinking. Sportacus was pacing as she stood still, a hand on her chin in thought. Suddenly, it seemed as if a lightbulb went off above her head and she squealed. Sportacus sharply turned towards her, looking at the girl as if she had grown a second head.
“Maybeeeee…They like you too!” Stephanie planted that seed. She was trusting her gut, and based on her previous interaction with you, it seemed pretty likely.
“I don’t know Stephanie…” Sportacus thought. He usually wasn’t the one to second guess such actions, he was always certain and dove in head first. But, as stated previously, you made him nervous.
“I think,” Stephanie started, “you should ask them out! Awwww you guys would be sooo cute!!” The pink haired girl cooed and Sportacus couldn’t help but laugh a bit at her enthusiasm, even if his stomach seemed to churn at the thought of possibly overstepping a boundary with you. It’d hurt the most to know that he had made you uncomfortable in some way. Stephanie had begun staring up at him with puppy dog eyes trying to use her cuteness that all kids were granted to sway Sportacus into making a move. The hero sighed.
“I’ll think about it.”
-
That might have been the best sleep you have ever gotten in your life. You had even managed to sleep until early the next day which is just ridiculous, but at least you didn’t wake up in the middle of the night and continue a cycle of a poor sleep schedule. This felt like your entire body had done a factory reset.
You made your way through your morning routine and got on your phone once you finished. Sportacus could show up any minute now, and even if you feared embarrassing yourself in front of him due to your feelings, not spending time with him sounded like a new form of torture. So risking embarrassment it was!
Only a few more minutes of scrolling through social media and you heard the sound of knocks on your door. You rushed over to go answer it as fast as you could. Opening the door you grinned as you saw Sportacus standing there. His face brightened at seeing you and he opened his arms up wide in surprise.
“You’re awake!” He exclaimed which made you laugh with a roll of your eyes. “Ready to get going?” Something seemed…off with the hero. He was pretty normal, but he seemed jittery, anxious. Two words that didn’t fit him all that well.
“Oh, so ready! I really need to stretch my limbs out after all of that resting.” You said, pulling your arms up above your head in a stretch to accentuate your point. A look that could only be described as pure adoration crossed Sportacus’ face and you looked at him strangely. “What? Did I say something?”
He stumbled a bit over his words as the two of you finally began your walk to the park. “You didn’t say anything, it's just,” Sportacus sighed before turning his gaze to you. His eyes were filled with a sincerity you hadn’t ever seen on him before. “I’m very proud of you, [name].” That was absolutely the last thing you expected him to say, but you stayed silent as if urging him to continue. “You’ve come very far in such a short amount of time. Of course, I’m proud of everyone here in Lazytown for their improvements! Even with people like Robbie Rotten around, all of you continue on and are unknowingly eager to better yourselves. But you…” He trailed off, his gaze finally leaving yours as he stared ahead. “Your progress is special to me.”
You were certain your face was bright red at his statement and you turned your head to look at the ground so he wouldn’t notice.
“Thank you.” You murmured bashfully as you played with a piece of your hair. “I couldn’t have done it without you.”
“Nonsense!” Sportacus spoke incredulously. “I only got you out of bed in the morning. The rest was all you! You are extraordinary.” 
The conversation died off there as you replayed his words over and over in your head. He was too perfect. You were totally going to explode. Maybe you couldn’t keep up with your guys’ daily workout if he was going to keep acting so sweet. 
You hadn’t even noticed it yet, but you had made it to your guys’ tree. You set down your workout bag and were waiting for Sportacus to offer you the snack of the day, but quickly you noticed that his attention was focused somewhere in the distance. You tried following his gaze, but it was apparent he was just lost in thought. Timidly, you waved a hand in front of his face to snap him back to attention and it did the trick.
“Ah! Sorry, I was just thinking…”
“About what?”
Sportacus’ stomach was doing flips, cartwheels, he felt as if he had just eaten a singular bar of chocolate. This must be what sickness felt like. The elf wetted his lips nervously before he let his eyes land on you. He stood there for a moment and let himself take in your appearance. No matter how many times he saw you, he didn’t know if he’d ever get enough. Maybe he should just,
“[Name],” he spoke softly, gaining your full attention, “you’re incredible. Seriously. You may not think so, but you inspire me everyday. You’re different from everyone else here. Yes, I care for everyone, obviously. I wouldn’t protect and encourage people who I didn’t genuinely like and believe in, but you’re…what I’m trying to say is that I look forward to every moment I get to spend with you. Hanging out and working out with you is more refreshing than any amount of sleep or relaxation I could ever get.” Sportacus had unconsciously moved closer to you as you spoke and you were just listening in pure awe. You gasped and looked down as he took your hands in his, his grip soft yet firm as if he didn’t want to lose this moment with you. “I was wondering if you would like to…go on a date with me?”
Your eyes were full of wonder as you stared up at the man. Every word he spoke was swimming around in your head and you were in complete disbelief.
“You? Want to date me?” You asked softly, looking him in the eyes.
“There is no one else I would rather be with.”
“Why?” Your words echoed despite the open area you two currently occupied. “Why me? I’m not the most athletic person around and I’m still pretty lazy. You’re…you’re a superhero! And I’m just…well, I’m just me.”
His hands quickly left your hands so he could cup your face. He brushed his thumb along your cheek as you two stared at each other intently.
“And you are exactly what I want.” Sportacus said with complete sincerity. “I’m only a slightly above average hero. That is nothing compared to how you appear in my eyes.”
Your eyes welled with tears, but you refused to let them spill. No one had ever spoken such words to you before in your life. Without thinking, you lunged forward and wrapped your arms around Sportacus’ neck in a warm embrace to which he quickly returned. His arms were wrapped strongly around your waist as you buried your head a bit into his shoulder. 
“I’d love to.” You finally murmured, pulling back slightly so that you could look at him. Your arms still rested around his neck and now his hands just lightly rested on your waist, trying to be careful with his placement out of respect.
“Love to what?” He asked, a confused look on his face that just caused you to smile.
“Go on a date with you. I’d love to.” You clarified and it's as if stars lit up in his eyes at your words. 
A beat of silence was held between the two of you as you both just stared at the other, happy to be in each other’s presence.
In an instant, you both surged forward as your lips interlocked. It was soft, tender, spark-inducing as the kiss continued on. The only thing running through your guys’ minds is that this is how it’s supposed to be. This kiss was right. Your lips moved in tandem for what felt like eternity in just a few seconds. If you had it your way, you would never separate, but your lungs’ cries for help cause you to back away and rest your forehead against his as you both caught your breaths. Staring at him, you couldn’t help but smile which caused him to smile in turn.
You knew you’d find motivation to become better eventually. What you never expected, however, was for it to come from someone else’s belief in you.
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honeyhotteoks · 6 months
Text
a little life update ~
for my career i have to pass a lot of certification tests and stuff, and i just passed my first big one!! plus i heard back from the job i was interviewing for and 😭 i got it 😭 which means im finally, finally free from my toxic ass workplace.
i haven’t talked about this much, but last year something pretty bad happened to me on a trip that i’ve been trying to deal with since. it’s really put me in a weird place and i’ve been struggling with how my job handled the incident, and how i’ve been able to respond to it. in january i just decided there was no path forwards for me at my current job, a place i used to really love.
finding a new job is so scary, time consuming, and draining, but after four months i think i found a place that will be so much better for me and my mental health (it’s fully remote 😭) and im just so excited.
thank you all for your patience waiting for fic and thank you especially to those who took the time to reach out with kind messages 🩵 i love you all!!
i’ll be back soon, there’s a few more life things to wrap up but now that the big hurdle is taken care of i’ll be able to focus on writing again.
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