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#im sorry being so negative lately i dont like this at all
infizero · 1 year
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also srry but ballister and ambrosius’ dynamic is sooo much better in the book im gonna be real. i much prefer how in the book it has been a long time since the incident that started all this and that they’ve got a very set in stone like hero-villain (who are exes) dynamic going on. i didnt like how in the movie that stuff JUST happened and all we get between them is cliche friend betrayal fallout garbage. nimona jokes about them being archnemises in the movie but THEY ACTUALLY WERE IN THE BOOK!!!! except neither of them rlly hate each other and they both still have some weird unresolved feelings for each other. BUT THEY WERE ACTUALLY ARCHNEMISES these guys in the movie are literally not them. WHERE IS AMBROSIUS KICKING DOWN HIS DOOR AND TELLING HIM TO HALT, VILLAIN!!!! 
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generationa1trauma · 4 months
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flatmate has a girl over i am suddenly extremely uncomfortable
#sorry i only ever come here to rant its bc im losing all my interests / passions and always need someone to talk to but have no friends 🤪#negative cw#thats a lie partially in that i am emotionally incapable of talking ab it i just. i have no people i have no outlet#but tumblr hasnt been doing it for me lately. im not sure if jts#its the mental illness or if its just being full time employed leaves me so burned out that i can barely function#so hobbies just become non existent#doesnt really matter either way tho bc i can barely pay my bills on full time wages theres nothing i can do to fix things#time off or less hours isnt an option and i sont have the money to get anything diagnosed#i think i need. a lot of support ive been kinda rawdogging life for 26 years but ill be honest gang its starting to really impact everything#i do not. feel like i am a fully functioning human. i am not capable of being a functional adult in society#but its also like. i have to be#my parents dont really believe in mental health stuff or autism or anything and certainly wouldnt believe if i tried to say i was disabled#its just like. no one ever believes me ab that kinda stuff and i dont have the money to get it diagnosed#and without a diagnosis theres not much that can be done but also even with a diagnosis theres nothing#government disability allowance is $78 a week maximum and only covers specifically medical costs for that disability#like i genuinely feel on the verge of a breakdown so bad that i would need a care person#but alas. thats just literally never a possibility for me#i dont have money and i dont come from money and i will be forced to work full time through breakdowns until i die#there is nothing that can be done to help me or fix me#and that just. it sucks#anyway#hope this girl is nice bc my cat refuses to be in my room and its giving me anxiety bc what if hes scared of her and runs away#2 much going on in my head but i can not stop it so here we are#sorry y'all r my rant place#i have been thinking ab trying to step away from the internet a bit but its also.#not really a thing i can do bc everything costs money these days#social clubs r barely existent and the ones there are cost a shittone#I'd just. I'd like to be in a better place. I just don't know how to get there
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comvi · 9 months
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I always have to remind myself that I don’t need to push myself to make art, and I don’t need to apologize or feel bad for not making a lot of art. art is something that should make me feel happy, so if I’m pushing myself to the point of not enjoying it anymore, then I should just stop and calm down for a second. and take some time for myself. Art won’t disappear, it will always be there waiting for me again, its okay for me to take some time doing others things sometimes.
#sorry this is a bit negative. most of the art i’ve been making latelyis personal/ocs so i dont post it here and thats been stressing me out#since im scared a lot of people are expecting things from my art that i cant give#my art changes a lot because i get inspired by so many things each day. and a lot of my designs are personal and mean a lot to me#so seeing other people like them is both a happy thing for me. but also so scary.#most people i see post art in fandoms im in will post so much of it so often#so i think i subconsciously think that i have to do that too. Make a bunch of art super fast and i HAVE to post ALL of it#but from the things that disabled me to just. that not being how i do things. i cant keep up with that#art takes a long time for me to feel happy with. And i dont always have the motivation or energy to finish all my drawings#Or even do things past a messy sketch#so i keep most things to myself for one reason or another#i dont know it just feels like everyone needs to have things “now now now. fast fast fast” nowadays.#or else the stuff you make isnt worth it. or isnt as good as everything else. In the case you make art late into joining the fandom#I think someone called it fast consumerism? or something? But yeah its just#bad. i dont like it at all#sorry for the long tags. i might stop posting as much art for a bit so i can take some time for myself.#go outside more. learn a new hobby. maybe even join a club or something#if you read through this hi. feel free to ask for my toyhouse if you want to see my ocs or whatnot.#I was very lax on checking my grammar here. not sorry this time. im getting seen for dysgraphia and im tired and need a break#myposts#rambling
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strawberrymatchawhore · 6 months
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baby
summary- babying your "tough" hubby rafe.. maybe some freakydeakyness at the end
note- this is the complete opposite of the rafe ive been writing about LMAOOO.. this man is SO BAD help me
it was 2am and you were in your bedroom scrolling on your phone, a random netflix show playing in the background. you've been waiting for your husband to get home for hours, being the wife to the chief of police did have its negatives. this was one of them.
you heard footsteps walking up the stairs and immediately turned off your phone, throwing the covers over yourself you pretend to be asleep. the door opens and you feel the weight of the bed shift.
"hey baby. sorry for getting home so late" rafe says giving your forehead a kiss, you jokingly ignore him.
"c'mon now i know youre awake.. get up and hold me." he begged tiredly, you couldnt help but giggle at how desperate he sounded.
"fine." you mumbled into the sheets but stayed in your position, he hugs you putting all of his weight on your body.
"okay okayy, i got it. now get off me you fatty." you whined, pushing his large frame off of you. you leaned against the bed frame and opened your arms, the both of you adjusting to a more comfortable position. which was the both of you propped up against a pillow.
"im so tired." he yawns into your chest, you played with his hair as the both of you stayed in silence.
"i know you are, you need a day off. youve been working too hard." validating him, his hand plays with the ribbon of your pajama shorts.
"see? youre still in your uniform, youre gonna make the bed dirty." you patted his back and drew circles on it.
"what, you want me take it off? if you wanted to see me naked you couldve asked sweetheart." he looked up at you and smirked. you glared at him, lightly slapping his arm.
"not what i meant.." you blushed.
"youre so cute you know that rafey, honestly when i look at you i just want to eat you." you confessed and massaged his temples, his face nuzzles into your chest even further. clearly he was blushing as well.
"i dont know how i got so lucky, im so glad i have a such a beautiful boy in my life. everything about you is just perfect." you cooed admiring his sculpted face, the way his plump lips curled into a smile.
"stopppp" he whined. you couldnt help but pull out your phone and take a picture. because if you didnt, who wouldve believe that your 6'2 husband loved to be babied like this? not like you were going to show anyone, its just for your eyes only. you wanted to cherish this moment forever.
"did you just take a picture?"
"let me see it." he shot up and reached for your phone. you put your phone under your pillow and laid on it, making sure he wasnt able to grab it. the two of you started play fighting.
"nooo please, you look so cute. let me keep it!!" you laughed, he started to tickle you. and you slowly started to fall off the bed. your legs wrapped around his waist and dragged him down, if you were gonna fall he was going to come down with you.
the laughing coming from you both died down and you looked up at him, what a funny position. you both were on the floor and he was in between your legs hovering over you.
rafe leaned downed and passionately kissed your lips, his hand starts to play with your shorts. you eventually pull away and slap his hand.
"nuh uh. go shower first. you stink." you got up to your feet then helped your boyfriend get up as well. you looked up at rafe with your head tilted, what was this man plotting?
"not unless you join me.. you cant say no" he quickly said and grabbed you by the waist. hoisting you over his shoulder and carrying you to the master bathroom.
"ahhh! rafe stop!!" you busted out laughing, kicking your feet as he practically dragged you to the shower. he put you down and turned on the warm water, it poured over you both. you furrowed your eyebrows.
"great now my clothes are all wet." you pouted crossing your arms over your now soaked tank top.
"more reason to take it off... lift your arms f'me"
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toastsnaffler · 2 years
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mannn i felt so ok this morning i thought i was finally clawing back out of this bottomless pit. what happened :(
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onlydeas · 2 years
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i think i should step in and do heimdall headcanons he needs love !! 
ever since god of war ragnarok came out idk i just fell for heimdall. it be the assholes
Heimdall headcanons
Meeting Heimdall wasn't the best thing, in fact, anybody who encountered him never had the best experience, therefore he was always regarded as Asgard's asshole. But you know what? You had so much patience with this man, even if his pettiness had forced you to hold on by a strand of hair, and you couldn't even land a hit on him, so what was the purpose of getting angry? “im sorry im actually here to work with heimdall, odin sent me” His eyebrows furrowed "You have no idea who I am, do you? im heimdall" As he uttered his name, your eyes widened, "no, I'd rather be tossed from the wall now." 
sometimes you honestly wanted to quit your job but the fear you had for odin and the ego of not quitting and no matter how annoying heimdall is you will not let him win. you can not leave “why dont you just let me do my job alone you suck at fighting and you bore me” heimdall was your number one hater “ so if i were to take a tooth from you and sell it for money id be in the wrong huh” heimdall turned around feeling his teeth how could you say that he needs to be careful now and take care of his teeth or one day he’s waking up with none
Working with heimdall was a pain in the ass; how could one be so bossy? Why couldn't we simply have some fun for a while? No, you had to be on your feet with the man whose only friend was gulltoppr. “hey heimdall why dont we have some fun and explore Asgard” heimdall looked at you and only one word left his mouth “no” How could he be so irritating? Why couldn't he show you around and tell you about this place? "But why not? I believe I deserve it because I've been helping you around here." Heimdall gave you a sidelong glance "I already seen it all," you grabbed his arm and pulled him down to you. "I haven't seen everything, so please show me around."
heimdall looked into your eyes seeing how badly you wanted him to take you around he sighed and rolled his eyes “only once you’re honestly really annoying” you smiled and followed him towards gulltoppr and got on. The whole tour of asgard and heimdall explaining the history of it made you so happy you couldn’t believe you didnt ask for a tour a while ago its beautiful, heimdall took a glance at you, you appeared to be paying close attention to everything heimdall was saying. “you know heimdall for someone who always has something negative to say you aren’t so bad” you laughed, you payed attention to the beauty of Asgard while he was mesmerized by you
ever since that day heimdall gave you a tour he’s been surprisingly nicer to you even though he’s tried to drop you off the wall multiple times and still gives you his petty comments for no reason he was nicer while you put no attention to it heimdall was loosing his mind because he was developing feelings for you and he knew that he knew that really well every time you spoke to him his cheeks would turn pink and being a pale guy wasn’t really helping him he felt betrayed by his own body he didnt even want to make eye contact with you for seeing the future or reading your mind would hurt him if he found out you wanted nothing to do with him for someone who can not relax even for a moment this was driving him insane but he needed to be professional
heimdall was a bother to you keyword ‘was’ you couldnt stand him at all but being around him and learning more about him actually made you really happy he made you really happy you couldnt stand not being around him he was your partner after all how could an asshole to everything make you feel this way you would wait for him outside his place every morning to start the day you’d follow him everywhere hearing his voice made you so happy. you and him were like rosemary and thyme you both were amazing together you wouldnt even mind heimdall reading your mind with his foresight but lately he wouldnt look at you
his feelings only grew stronger day by day as much as he wanted to tell you how much you mean to him and how he would go to war for you he tried to focus on what you were here for ‘work’ he didnt want anyone getting in trouble because of his feelings so he pushed them so deep into his heart he thought the only way he wouldnt think about it was to ignore you and act like how he does with everyone. that only hurt your feelings so much why was he acting that way with you, you only wanted to tell him about your feelings but he wouldn’t make eye contact with you or even speak to you, he doesn’t know how badly his actions were hurting you “heimdall can we please talk, why are you ignoring me?” heimdall didnt look at you he only continued what he was doing “heimdall please listen to me”
as much as you tried to speak to him he would only turn his back to you this really was hurting you so much you thought you both were forming a really good friendship now out of no where he starts being a asshole to you again like how it first started “you left me waiting, you know im not really patient heimdall when i confronted you about not speaking to me you didnt say anything why are you doing this?” heimdall looked at you after so long and spoke “what is there to say (y/n) i dont need to listen to you we arent friends so give me space and stay out of my way” that really did it that broke your heart into so many pieces before he could even walk away you grabbed his hand “please dont leave me ive been going through emotions you dont even know about and each time i try to make you look at me so you can see how much i feel for you, you always ignore me!”
“what do you need (y/n)! what do you want?!” your eyes were filled with tears any second you could just burst into tears, you pulled him down and kissed him and for once someone actually touched him your tears flowed down your cheeks as you kissed him “i need and want you heimdall..i really truly love you so much” heimdall looked into your eyes seeing how much you really do love him he sighed in relief that you felt the same way he pressed his lips on yours holding you face
being heimdalls lover was such a dream I mean of course everyone would always ask you what do you see him that they dont with heimdalls cocky personality he was literally such a dream to you imagine just having a boyfriend who's rude to the whole world but with you hes so sweet and patient
heimdall couldn't keep his hands off you he just wanted to feel you all the time he wasn't fond of the pda maybe just holding your hand, kissing your cheeks and hugging you every chance he could get but in private oh gosh he doesnt stop kissing you, touching you he follows you everywhere seriously hes like a duckling he just cant get enough of you, hes so in love with you "heimdall..do you really need to follow me into the bathroom" heimdall nods you dont know if hes trying to protect you orrr hes just being a creep
his foresight is truly amazing he always knows what you want, when you want and how. sometimes he can be such a tease about it too I mean sometimes you want to kiss him but he dodges you and teases you about it when you fail to kiss him not just once, or twice but after hes done laughing and teasing you he gives you so much kisses to make up the ones you tried to give him "how could you dodge my kisses!" heimdall laughs kissing you all over
in heimdalls eyes you are everything he needs in his life he would never leave you, you being a mortal and him being a god gave him so much motivation into protecting you from all harm in the world he always says things like you were created in this world for him to love, protect, to hold, to feel you he can’t do anything if you arent in his life his words are seriously the sweetest thing ever he always knows what to say having a god as a boyfriend and not only that he is very intelligent but sometimes he forgets to think hes very impulsive he hates it when other gods ask you for favors why you? why couldnt they pick all the other mortals or find a god or something why bother whats his?
heimdall surprisingly talks about marriage with you everyone is so surprised since he seems like he’d rather be alone forever cause of his attitude with everyone he talks about marriage and a family how he wants to raise children with you he brings it up more then you do! even at random times like when you both are sleeping together…“so if when we get married should we get gulltoppr to be the flower-“ you groaned and sat up “seriously heimdall go to bed” heimdall sat uo to look at you “its a serious question y/n!!”
lets be honest im sure heimdall would be so clingy the way hes dedicated to protecting asgard im sure he’d always want to be with you its like he’d want to be apart of you he’s the type to stay so close to you never leaving your side for nothing who knows what other gods have in mind
you are what calms him every time hes about to explode he thinks about you he constantly whispers your name every second this man has anger issues he cannot relax for a moment thor literally has him on his last strand his strand is thinner than hair, everyone is very fond of you you changed his attitude he isnt so mean as before but when you arent near him he may explode any second “ just think about y/n yes think about y/n, y/n will get very mad if i do something wrong and i dont want that just imagine y/n” heimdall is smiling at a corner thinking about you so he wouldn’t start a war
whatever you want you shall receive even if he doesnt even know what it is he will find it or create it, his attention is all yours he could constantly stare at you speaking for hours but thats you, heimdall never stops talking and you admire him and how talkative he is. heimdall seriously loves you so much he’s balance he loves to give you everything you need from gifts, communication to love and attention
heimdall and you are seriously best friends and lovers heimdall always comes to you as if he was a best friend ready to spill gossip from anything he seems like he loves having those gossip talks its his second favorite thing and his first is you “yeah thors at it again im surprised Sif hasnt said anything to him she never does its usually thrúd” heimdall rolled his eyes and took a bite out of his food “heimdall you know you cant reason with thor plus hes went through a lot” heimdall looked at you “yes but he handles it with his drinking problem could never and would never be me” you sighed and smiled heimdall is a hater to mankind
(NSFW mild warning ig)
sometimes when hes in the mood if you know what I mean *side eye* its just the best thing ever looking into your eyes and seeing everything you want he'll do it hes so very dominate he always wants to be in control I mean why wouldn't he be he knows the future and he knows what you want during it he loves everything about you I wouldn't say even your imperfections because to him you are the most perfect being ever he loves you he needs you. hes so obsessed with everything about you, his voice is so gentle even when hes being cocky during it, it makes you melt just by him already knowing hes good at what hes doing to you
he can be rough not so rough he doesnt want to hurt you because he is way stronger then you since hes a god and hes extremely fast it feels like you're going into another realm. heimdall loves when you're being vocal during it he wants everyone to know you are his and what you and him are doing that very moment sometimes he can be a asshole and make you cry during it if he doesnt make you cry did you really enjoy it? im sure hes so good with his hands I mean his long fingers says it all as soon as he gets his hands on your body prepare for the best feeling of your life. cant get over his foresight its so attractive seeing into the future he just knows what to do to you. his eyes are the only thing that glows during that moment he always keeps his eyes on you even when you try to look away he moves your face back to him he makes sure to make you look at him every second
when you want to be top and he allows it hes just a mess he cant stop blushing he just cant get over how good you look being on top of him no matter who it is he hates being looked down on but you he cant get over it he loves it so much just holding you and looking at you he cant get his eyes off you
overall heimdall is such a dream hes a tall, strong blond, hes a god and not only that his eyes are so beautiful you get mesmerized with only looking into then hes a asshole to everyone but with you he will always be your number one fan and the person he loves the most and it shows everyone knows how much that man loves you and would live and die for you because you are and always will be the one for him as he always says “until my heart beats for the last time only then will i maybe stop loving you” keyword maybe but we all know even in death he’d love you forever even when hes reborn again he will love
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i failed my presentation for AP Seminar for this i hope you all love this because that horrifying grade was worth it i love heimdall
if you guys want more let meee knowww !!!
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saffricatrice · 21 days
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What r ur oc stories about?
OMG HIHI I NEVER HAD SOMEONE OUTSIDE OF MY CURRENT FRIENDS ACTUALLY ASK BEFORE UMMMM OKAY SO. i have 3! main oc stories that i Really care about at the moment but im Deeply fixated on mainly 1 of them but im gonna start with the one ive been liek "promoting" the most in a sense!! under read more cuz im gonna try to exlain all three of them bless. sorry if i seem overly passionate oops i was TRYING to summarise im sorry its so long u rlly dont Have to read All of it
Forgotten Man's Symphony
his (louis manoir) character is basically a spin off from a character mentioned in the novel frankensetin exactly (1) time by name in elizabeth's letter and by far he is the most organised oc of mine cuz we do actually have a clean, understandable summary doc (thought it is a tad bit outdated but its okay). shes like the most Normal narrative-wise i suppose so i'm not exactly sure on how to explain the plot of forgotten man's symphony it's just like??? him ruining his life in front of the reader and then #Healing?? i guess?? the story is an epistolary that starts with louis' Suicide Letter. so like. yeah. BUT!! i suppose i would say his story very much concerns the concept of like identity (including gender and such she would be considred either transfemme/bigender by the modern world but also idfk cuz i made her complicated and confusing on purpose) and also the lack thereof + the negative impact that comes with trying so hard to fit into the societal norms and what people Want you to be but you just Can't be, cutting away bits of yourself to fit through some sort of hole representing the perfect version of you until theres nothing left of Who You Are expect a palatable and small version yk?? and the the endless pursuit of wanting to be loved that leads yourself to changing and changing for people who just wont care or love you for realsies + @rosaniruby 's words "making it even like that so its not YOU who is loving and being loved but the dim visage of a version of you that fits the picture of what society loves; that it's not a love between individuals, it's the love for a society that cannot ever love anything because it was made to hate. and who believes that portrayal of love will not find it and forever be stuck. smth like society loves what it deems as perfect and hates the imperfect, since perfect doesn't exist it can only do the second one. and louis wanted to love perfect victor, hated his own imperfect self. but the perfect victor doesnt exists, and neither does any version of louis."
i like her he's great. sorry if that was less telling u WHAT his story is and more like Explaining the "themes" as theyre called of the story but idrk how to describe nromal stuff so TAKE WHAT U CAN GET!!! anyways,
Domus Carnis: The Transmutation of Guinevere Manor
idk if you're aware but i have a hyperfix on architectural horror and i DON'T MEAN SCARY GHOSTS AND SERIAL ILLERS IN AN ABANDONED HOUSE I MEAN HAUNTED HOUSES THAT ARE ALIVE THAT IS A METAPHOR FOR PTSD FROM CHILDHOOD TRAUMA ETC ETC!! this story By making it started my whole obsession with the House it's crazy... scary even.. (i recommend you watch jacob geller's video essay about houses) i really do like domus carnis but it's. Messy to say the least. i do feel as if i ought to change the time period it's set in to avoid talking about the wars going on in the time period i accidentally set it in without realising but im procrastinating on that rn. it was Suppose to be late 1800s to early 1900s..
in a few simple words: flesh-and-bone made lesbian sex house. does that get your attention yet. bless
domus carnis (which literally means flesh house in latin or something) will be written in the POV of a 40ish year old widowed woman by the name of harriet wren's diary entries, occasionally switching to the POV of her 20-something year old godson percival who is like old timey jake paul and hes like either a journalistt or a radio host depending if i choose to change the time period or not. we follow them after harriet's husband dies of whatever and they find out he has a large property in a foreign country of which they had not known of prior
somewhere in germany there is a house of ex-aristocrats that no longer live there that is Alive. the House becomes alive because it is in a sense "possesed" (not haunted) the ghost of kathryna von guinevere who was the last one to die in the house, who, in life, was incredibly obsessed with The House for reasons that i fear are too long to explain without boring you and going into info pre-story?? anyways, when she "posseses" the house, the materials of the house shift to flesh, blood and bone because it Materially becomes her body. now, it would be hard to accurately label what represents what body part, because it's all strangely jumbled up and isn't like really human anatomy either cuz kathryna Can in fact see inside herself?? anyways whatever. now, the house is now both her body AND her mind. i have taken the phrase "haunted by memories/trauma" and turned it literal. the house IS haunted, but most of the ghosts aren't ghosts, theyre mostly all manifestation of Memory from her life because she actively is replaying the speech and actions of other people IN her mind to process the (typically traumatic) events of which she's seen or experienced. the ghosts CANNOT do as they please because they only exist at all Due to kathryna remembering them in these specific scenes. the hauntings include scenes of people, sounds, and shadows. unless the "scene" has a mirror, you cannot see kathy directly because you are witnessin things through HER eyes, which makes memories from wee childhood interesting because im wondering if i should make the "people" seem wayy bigger than the viewer if stuff is replayed from childhood..
i really like the fact that a lot of this is based on memory because it opens a lot of doors to me when it comes to the appearance of hauntings. my friend showed me this video depicting neurons forgetting how a face looks like, and i feel as if i could use that in the story because well, realistically kathy isnt going to have a Pristine memory cuz she Was just a human before, not to mention the fact shes already suppose to have issues on facial recognition/rememberance (my friend with these sisues suggetsed htis). the alteration of the ghosts' bodies could be fucked with even more if i try to make use and research into the way that people (mostly children) can in fact like.... change the image of something traumatic in their brain and make it less scary bc the brain is trying to protect them? yeah. AND ALSO the fact that a lot of people forgets certain aspects of their trauma due to their brain trying to protect them as well but still have this feeling of Unease when it comes o specific things that they cant explain, i could incorporate this feeling in certain areas of the House, the strange uneasiness. i experience that myself so i hope ill portray it right!!
i Think that's it?? at least that should be the bare bones of the story... i have a pin board tho if u want to check it out!!
The Epinicium
THIS is the stupid fucking thnag thats ruining my entire life rn. i love it i hate it whagever man. THIS ONE ill keep short and simple because im too fucking mentally ill about it to explain in depth without being asked questions
so basically its fantasy world but not like. Completely new high fantasy i very loosely based the countries off of like real countries and stuff bc lazy as shite so its like mid fantasy maybe HOWEVER
basically its set in this world where theres a shit ton of religions and gods and shit and theres three categories of religions (the world is veyr uhnm. Categorical idk): earth, science and the arts. basically the arts religions are the majority and the gods of those religions are called the muses so thats what i'll be calling them from now on. the basic plot of epinicium is about the muses of the music religion declaring that humanity doesnt treat music as "holy enough" anymore and taking it away as a whole (songbirds go extinct as well which is importnat) which also fucks up the other arts religionsdue to the fact that artforms are very connected but they still exist yk and centuries later our main cast attempts to bring it back!!! we have this server with a channel that has the "summary" but its not a real summary its just an already outdated infodump but we are Trying to fill this doc but we're failing really hard but friendship is magic idk.
fin.
anyways thats. pretty much it i think im sorry its too long once again 😭😭 feel free to ask question esp on the epinicium!! id love to hear abt ur ocs btw ive yapped so much oops
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nickssidewitch · 2 months
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hi, I see the conversation happening on your blog about the triplets language/attitude towards women and it’s actually something i’ve been struggling with lately. i’m sorry in advance for how long this is.
I’m 24, became a fan of the triplets over a year ago and i’m starting to not be a fan anymore. They’re genuinely pissing me off lately and it’s because of how casually misogynistic they are. I understand you dont agree but i do think you’re giving them the benefit of the doubt because you admire them and giving them excuses. “we know they’re not sexist” we dont know that actually. and even if they have moments of respect for women it doesnt erase the thousands of times they haven’t.
it’s one thing to casually use the word bitch, it’s can be funny and add extra passion to a joke, it’s another thing to use it aggressively as a threat. they often do that. and it’s often nick. nick is one of those gay men who thinks they can’t be misogynistic because being gay automatically doesn’t make them a threat to women or something, it’s sadly something a lot of gay men fall into, but they are still men being misogynistic. it’s not excusable because it’s “part of gay culture”, i know a lot of gay men who would call nick out on his sexism so quickly lol. nick often aggressively yells at women and threatens violence against them. i know he’s not serious or whatever excuse fans give him, it’s not funny to me. he once said, all because a women told matt he looked 13, “im gonna stab that fucking bitch in the fucking face”. that’s insanely violent and not funny? why are you, a man, saying you’re gonna be violent towards a women? or when that women honked at them, nick screamed at her and called her a bitch so aggressively with full anger… and they all thought it was so funny. it’s funny to them to get mad at women and yell at them and call them bitches?
they also all have severe anger issues they need to go to therapy for btw. and fans thinking it’s hot when they throw tempter tantrums is wild to me. adults shouldn’t be just randomly punching things. you do that when you’re a kid and don’t know how to control emotions yet. “they’re siblings they fight” i know, i have 3 other siblings… you stop acting the way they do when you’re teenagers lol.
they also judge women to an insane degree. and not men at all. in one vlog they sat in their car and just decided to judge what women were wearing as they walked by. literally why do you have opinions on what women wear, no one asked. i’ve never seen a women on the side of the road and had an opinion on what she chose to wear that day. it’s giving high school bully like no one asked you to just insult women’s clothes. they don’t care what you think and men shouldn’t care what women wear. “her pants are so ugly” “yeah her pants are trash” do you wanna tell her? should we let the police know the sturniolos don’t like her pants? they’re just so negative about everything women do and their latest car video… legitimately couldn’t even watch it. every single story/complaint they made was about a women. literally every single one. “oh this girl did this crazy thing” (they also love to call women crazy) and we all know the infamous wedding podcast clip, of them completely invalidating their future wife’s emotions and not caring. they love to complain about women, judge women, threaten and be aggressive towards women. it’s not funny. they have so many red flags. again i’m sorry for the length, i’ve just been thinking about this all month and needed to get it off my chest.
😭😭 I totally see your points, but again, majority of this is so unserious. 🤷🏾‍♀️
The joke about stabbing the cashier definitely wasn’t funny.
But, everything else are such reaches 😭🤍
I respect your opinions, because if things don’t sit right with you, then they just don’t sit right with you, which is valid! You don’t have to be a fan if those things throw you off! It’s definitely understandable. 🙌🏾🤍
I personally just think some of these are reaches. And no, I’m not giving them the benefit of the doubt. I’m just not taking them seriously 😭🤷🏾‍♀️
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goobygnarp · 1 year
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hi gang
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sorry for my vent spam. i have very bad spiral episode that get the better of me when a single negative thought enters my brain and it dominos into something worse to the point i have to ride it out.
i have no therapist or coping mechs to ground me unfortunately, i grew to no longer take words at face value unless they're negative and want action if they're positive.
have bad validation-seeking issues where if there is any sense of being disliked by someone, i want to be loved by them when i know that's wrong and sometimes it gets the better of me so i tend to isolate myself from said people or groups
home life isnt good all the time so its not like i can just get off and so other things to get my mind of it cause then my mind is on things irl that send me back to things online which then the cycle repeats,
and im giving off heavy signs of depressive episodes that are undiagnosed and unfortunately, i don't have the money for that sort of help cause my insurance or Medicaid cant cover it so unless I have money, i can't get mental help for my episodes of whatever is going on in my bumpy weird brain.
i tend to overthink everything and lately, i have just been wanting to leave so people dont leave me and i end up feeling more hurt each time.
my brain is not happy and it surely likes to drag me down with it over things i can easily just ignore but am unable to.
[it isnt just with the rise fandom, but its just been where its happening a lot to trigger these reponses]
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sunflawyer · 2 months
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HI MAYO!!! I dunno why ppl have been sending you negative messages lately you have literally done nothing wrong 😭 you’re literally so nice and caring like what 💀. PLEASE DO NOT LET THOSE PPL GET TO YOUR HEAD. I dunno why these ppl feel to let you know that when they could just block and move on it just feels like they’re being dramatic or trying to stir up drama 😭 trust me Mayo you literally didn’t do anything wrong pook
thank you •́⁠ ⁠ ⁠‿⁠ ⁠,⁠•̀ 🧡
i use these anon messages as a way to reflect and to correct my wrongs so even though it hurts, it doesn't get to me anymore. i just hope we all can move past this and make this community a better place once again. (⁠ ⁠◜⁠‿⁠◝⁠ ⁠)⁠♡
also - im so so sorry for posting these lately. i dont want to make people feel unwelcomed/feel like they should avoid me because i get hate like this. i only posted 2 of them because it was necessary to explain, but truthfully i got lots of unnecessary ones, but i ignored them all because like i said - theyre not worth it.
but im so grateful for everyone who supported me and reassured me!🥹🧡🫶 thank you so much for being there for me! i love you all to bits. 💛
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astroyongie · 7 months
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i honestly feel like i was born in the wrong era. either im too old for something or someone or im past the point of being able to achieve something. then when looking at how all these kpop groups are so young yet successful and talented just makes me question why i didnt do something like that.
we didnt have kpop in my school time but why couldnt i have just picked something and stuck with it? on top of it i believe im never going to fit anyones ideal type so whats the point in existing cause no one gonna truly get to know me.
unless i can somehow pass away before im 50 then i dont have to continue to think about all this shit and how i shouldve done better or i shouldve picked such and such a career and i shouldve tried to put myself out there more but in my age theres really nothing out there to seek when its all handed to younger generations.
and i would want to have my own success based on my own effort but have fallen short in so many ways its impossible to not find something i could do about it bc im too far behind and it does get to a point where you think that it is too late bc in order to gain any talent you have to have done it from a young age.
i dont want to rely on someone else to do it for me but i couldnt do it myself due to personal situations. yet i feel like thats an excuse cause once again all these young idols seem to be ro have something about them that makes their life a success. like yes the end inudstry is far from perfect but thats what people have been seeking themselves so it cant all be that bad all the time for them if these groups including older age groups have went out got success and even they get all the benefits of the super rich lifestyle but at the same time money doesnt bring true happiness and it seems a very shallow way they live sometimes, they have a supply and demand contract with their audiences and rely so much on social media which although i use it im not attached to it and i cant relate to obsessing over latest dance trend. i also want to stop the woe is me narrative but its really fucking hard to not feel so ashamed, behind or negative about things.
the most advice people gove is bog standard like if ur bored, go out more but its hard not to feel left out, if ur loney go find someone, if u dont have an income go get a job its literally never that simple. even in education you still have to pay for it as an adult meaning you have to already have a job but even then theres still means of you getting misjudged for your age and classmates have already done that to me before it wasnt that fun. its like saying to someone depressed to go take medicine to take away the feeling.
idk what im doing anymore besides waiting to randomly pass away so i can be done with this shite. sorry for ranting so much but idk who else to speak too bc no one else never seems to understand my frustrations with the way things have panned out.
Comparing yourself to others people archievement is the worst thing you can do. because we are all different, we all go through different shits (just like you rightfully said) and not all of us have the same opportunities presented. beating yourself up for that is a cruel thing to do wishing yourself.
It does also seem like you struggle a lot with self worth, self love and that is probably because never once someone complimented you for the things that you have achieve (to this point were you believe you havent achieved anything).
Love, hatred that you carry is a motivator, and you need to accept one thing. as long as you are breathing nothing is to late to archive, as long as you are here you should be kinder to yourself. because why are you comparing yourself to idols? I often say this here but when was it the last time you appreciated life? when was the last time you went out, stared at the ocean, at the night sky, breathed into a forest, when was the last time you felt a sense of peace? seek that out. dwelling on what we could have been is cruel hun, and not helping you in any kind <3
its okay to rant, dont worry, I hope I dont sound to harsh either, its just that I pains me seeing you guys going through so much suffering when I promise you all, darkness cannot live without light. just find your way back to it, often you dont need a big reason. sometimes the most tiny thing can be a source of happiness, seek yours !
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rxttenfish · 10 months
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hi !!! sending this on anon because i am rather nervous all things considered <:3 (i am lying to you, i have not considered 'all things'.) one monster prom fan to another (can we be compared using such broad terminology ? i feel as if i am domesticated compared to you... [compliment, or at the very least not inherently negative]) , i wanted to thank you SO SO SO VERY MUCH for giving miranda so much love and thought and mulling her over in your mind in such a ... refreshing way
i also really really really like miri , but i can only aspire to have your level of dedication . it feels almost like we are of totally different worlds... !!!!!
thank you for bringing in real world biology too :3 i absolutely adore your design for her so much (this is most likely not proper grammar, but it is very late and i am very cold and so i will hope with all my heart you will excuse this mistake. one of many, i should assume) - though !!!! i do have a question if that is alright ?????
i cant say that a marine macropredator of a significantly vibrant pink really strikes me as advantageous colouring - does the abyssal environment that you say the merfolk live in negate the need for camouflage and such ????? i apologise for sounding passive aggressive !!!! i am merely asking a question. cocking my head to the side if you will
additionally, i would like to ask something foolish. how do they acquire food? i dont want to say 'hunt', because that might seem insulting. historically were they built for stalking, or high speed chases, or...???? please, talk 'nerdy to me' as they say !!! <- in an entirely normal way befitting two strangers of course.
you know, i would have expected to hit the ask word limit by now. but it seems i have not. yippee !!!!
with my extra space, i shall add this: I ABSOLUTELY ADORE THE WAY YOIU WRITE MIRI . GOOD LOOOOOORD IT IS AMAZING HAVIJNG SOMEOENE WHO KNOWS WHAT THEYRE DOING IWIITH HER thank yoiu for making her at least moderately intelligent. i feel blessed <- is this all too harsh sounding???? im a little new to all this letter/ask-writing thing <:3
IN ANY CASE !!!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOIU SO VERY MUCH. AGAIN. drops this and scuttles away
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/761693443676045363/1183251697129226270/ordered3.png
also i believe you can indeed tell, but i drew that in ms paint with my finger .. sorry that it looks like poop <:3
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(moving the image out of the link just in case it breaks-)
AAAAAA THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!! this looks so WONDERFUL i love the way that you've shaped her head and how you've captured how Chunky it is... i know its one of the things people have the hardest time drawing with her so its just all the more impressive how well youve managed to capture her!!!
i also love the little doodles eeeee..... please feel free to toss all ocs at miri, its enrichment for her <3 ironically gentle chewing/biting is a Play and Bonding thing for merfolk so she shall happily Bites Bites Bites back-
(also i LOVE her smile!!! you arent anthropomorphizing in the slightest for that - miri often does have very human expressions in a way that's odd for a merfolk, because she effectively got imprinted during her time spent inland... and its politically useful if you smile and match expressions with the people you're trying to work with anyways)
ill also go ahead and answer your questions because i can! very easily clarify on them!
the color: actually, being bright red and pink is actually very common for deep sea animals, due to the way light works at depth! its why i decided miranda was abyssal, because that felt like the most natural way to explain why she's pink, since it's such an uncommon color in nature.
basically, different colors of light have different lengths! red is the shortest wavelength of light, and blue is the longest. water might be clear, but there's a lot of water in the ocean, and the more water you add, the more it filters out light - which is why the bottom of a pool might be dark and shady, but if you hold a little of the water in your hands there's no shade. the ocean is a lot deeper than a pool, and so it gets darker as you go down, but because it's also clear, it doesn't filter out all that light at the same rate.
red, being the shortest wavelength of light, gets filtered out first, so red often gets quickly darker the deeper down you go, until it's completely black! camouflage is dependent on the environment, so their color and brightness has to match the background, but it also depends on the light that's hitting the animal. it's why fawns have dappled spots, or animals might have black stripes, so they can mimic the light of their environment. and when your environment has no red light, well... red's a pretty good color to be!
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because of this, a lot of animals in the deep sea can't actually see red either, which is doubly the reason why you might want to be red! think of it like tigers, and how ungulates often can't see their orange, making them look just about the same color as the foliage around them when they're hunting! miranda might stick out on land, but that's just because we aren't seeing her in the environment she's made for, where she blends in with everything else around her as much as a pure black animal.
(it's also why her bioluminescence is blue - blue is the longest wavelength of light, and the one most animals can see at that depth. if she lights up, then she wants to be seen, and she can even alter her silhouette to appear larger or smaller or breaking it up into multiple shapes if she needs to. it's why her tapetum lucidum is blue when light's shone on it, because there is blue light to be seen at depth, it's just very dim!)
(this is also why giant squid are bright red, and why the stoplight loosejaw fish is so special! the latter actually produces its own red light, and can see red light, which means that it has a secret light that won't reveal where it is but will reveal to it where its prey is!)
food: this is something that depends a lot, because there are actually multiple different species of merfolk, which is mostly my fault because i don't always feel like i communicate this the best. they're all slightly different in how they evolved to capture prey, with abyssals in particular being fuckoff huge ambush predators that attack from below, and others being shallower-water hunters or more adapted for smaller, faster prey - but they all evolved from an ancestor with a fairly consistent prey-capture method.
in short, all merfolk are ancestrally evolved to hunt whales and other large prey items, with all the extant species still holding at least a degree of this. primarily, they were ambush predators who were good at getting in close to their prey before a sudden burst of speed. they would work together in close-knit groups (one of the big pressures for their increasing socialization and larger brains, to coordinate such groups) to all mob a single prey item at once, hitting with force to cause sudden trauma, and then using their claws, double-thumbs, back feet, and mouths to hold onto their prey and refuse to be dislodged. they'd repeatedly claw and use their strong bites and massive heads to rip deeply into their prey, causing further massive trauma and shock, and if that failed, bleeding their prey to death.
think of it like the raptor prey restraint model, just further taking advantage of the fact that they were underwater, where no one else has hands that could potentially rip them off. being smaller and somewhat less-optimized for marine life compared to things like sharks and whales and large fish worked for them, because they had a novel adaptation that allowed them to take advantage of things no one else could, and the numbers to make up for it. this is, likewise, why they never lost their hands and fully developed flippers, instead making their limbs as flipper-like as possible to make up for it.
then as time went on and certain populations became separated from each other, they adapted for slightly different niches, but all remain fairly closely related to each other as a genus.
in the modern day, most merfolk don't really "hunt" for all of their meals, at least not in the same way that we might think. don't get me wrong, they still absolutely hunt and it's a larger part of their lives than it is for most humans, but they have options.
mostly, the merfolk theory for their relationship with nature is to invite it in. this is not to say they aren't controlling and pruning it, but they do live underwater, and it's far harder to keep animals out than it is on land, so merfolk accepted it and worked with it. they'll work to promote growth around their buildings and where they live, fostering the growth of sea grass and algae and coral and other sessile animals, encouraging them to set down and grow in these areas, and they'll then let more wild animals move in, further encouraged by these natural sources of food and shelter, on top of merfolk working even further to encourage them in. they serve as a functional cleanup crew for the merfolk in these settlements, being allowed to eat anything that merfolk might drop or go to waste, and even moreso might be purposefully fed at times, or have specific homes for them built. merfolk will keep encouraging them and taking care of them until they become a biorich hotspot, creating unique oasises for wildlife to live alongside merfolk.
however, this isn't just a free-for-all, persay. merfolk will also purposefully prune these populations and control how they form, often removing "problem" animals and encouraging certain behaviors which makes it easier for these populations to live alongside merfolk, not viewing them as a threat, but also not viewing them as an opportunity either. they will directly shape how these areas grow and cultivate them on a physical level, often using them as an easy shortcut to literally grow their settlements and buildings. but they will also harvest from these populations and selectively breed them, until their cities and towns act as massive public gardens full of food to be caught, picked, and eaten at any time
as there are also a lot of (very politically powerful) nomadic groups, they also do this, albeit not always so directly. they'll have specific shoals or "runs" of fish that they will follow behind and take care of, managing as they move through the ocean in accordance with the seasons. this is where the whales still factor in, because the nomadic groups will also take care of the whales, purposefully keeping an eye on their pods and taking care of them and, when the time comes, being choosy and particular in which whale they select at any given time to be hunted, harvested, and eaten.
(there's also the way in which food is distributed and managed throughout the merkingdom, since some food is indeed shipped and moved throughout the different areas, but that's a different story for another time and i've talked enough)
BUT!!!! thank you so much and thank you for enjoying all of this that ive been making with miri, and thank you for giving me an excuse to talk more about her <3
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asexualconfessions · 6 months
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omfg im so glad i found this blog i need to vent (sorry in advance if this is kinda negative)
Im south asian and in my late twenties which is the age when every single south asian elder person whom i meet asks about my love life and then gives unsolicited advice about it
This lady came to our house to chat with my mom and within the first 5 minutes of meeting me shes asking 'are you dating someone? Are you on the apps? Are you meeting people at the club? You should meet people to figure out your sexual compatibility with them. If you dont meet someone soon all the good people will be gone. You should not try to be a spinster forever you will regret it.'
Maybe im just too ace but are these normal questions to ask allo people???. Is this just how people talk? All it did was annoy and kinda upset me like theres more to me than a relationship.
I dont want to have sex and i dont want a relationship and its really frustrating that almost no one understands that. I feel so uncomfortable and othered in conversations like that as a result. I even asserted that I don't mind being single for the rest of my life and i was dismissed like I don't know what im talking about its just really frustrating.
🟣
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stellawolfearts · 2 years
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ive totally not been stalking your blog and noticed you have some actually good nezha angst content! which like nobody has ;-;
im sorry if you have already done this, but drop your angsty nezha hc's here? basically any angsty hc's for him you want ig
LOL THANKS, i actually haven't done that yet, just sprinkle ideas here ad there for people to read.
alright *cracks knuckles* angsty Nezha hc's here we go. buckle up cause theres gonna be ALOT.
TW--- mentions of child abuse, self-harm, suicide and violence. if u know Nezha's mythology then you know what im talking about. even if you dont Be cautious reading this i will highlight the suicide andself harm stuff in red. the child abuse is all the first half of this post
most of the first part is based off of Nezha's mythology in investiture the gods, some are creative liberties.
Nezha is literally a neurodivergent kid who has been told to stop doing the things he does bc there're 'annoying', 'rude', or 'weird'. which... their not. he just does things differently because he's neurodivergent.
no one was ever nice about telling him to do things differently. or...'normally'. he was always told off in a negative sense. it was straight-up child abuse.
of course back then it wasnt seen as child abuse much, since neurodivergancy wasnt a thing they knew about nezha was just a troublesome child, a burden. and in nezhas eyes no matter how much he tried, no matter what he did he was never enough. he was convinced that he was a mistake and a dissapointment. born with so much potential only to be thwarted by his "troublesome nature"
this "troublesome nature" was just normal neurodivergent things. normal kid things. but no one ever considered that, the only one that did was his mom. she was nicer then the rest of his family. not the greatest of course but compared to the others she understood that he was a child.
i heard its implied somewhere his father wouldnt let him out of the house for the first seven years of his life. Nezha had to sneak out and his mother would call him back inside whenever his father came back home.
one day while outside he met a man with orange hair, bright like the sun in the sky. A man with kind eyes a soft voice. the complete opposite of his father. the man stayed in the village for a few days. he kept nezha company and for once. nezha felt...safe.
but he had to leave sooner or later. even so the man promised to come back (it was wukong on his journey for immortality, disguised as a human)
his father was very picky on the way things were done, Nezha sometimes did things differently or hell probably forgot often. because ynow....hes a kid. but often that wasnt enough. there were times his father was angry, very angry. and instead of being a fucking adult about it he let it out onto Nezhas shortcomings. screaming fits, throwing things. and Nezha had to stand still, 'take it like a man' despite being a literal child. until his father was done poking and prodding at every little 'flaw' Nezha had.
all he wanted was to make his family proud.
then the dragon thing happened.
he just wanted to play with his friends.
he just wanted to protect his friends.
he just wanted to be a kid
he just wanted to do the right thing.
in a last-ditch effort to keep any blame off of his family, to keep his village safe from the dragon's wrath he took a sword at twelve years old and killed himself. offering his dead body as compensation.
he was 12
he was a child.
the man with orange hair came back and asked about Nezha. he was too late.
when he was reincarnated into a lotus body those scars remained. Scars on his hands from grabbing onto the blade and making his hands bleed. scars on his chest from....yeah, he has one on his left arm, stretching across his upper to lower arm and a shorter one on his right upper arm. both were accidental. and one on his neck.
the ones on his neck and chest were not accidental.
im not going into detail but....yeah.
His lotus body...its not exactly fit for him.
his powers i mean.
its too much.
remember how bai he's body started to crack and break due to being too weak for lbd's powers.
okay think of that but nezha in his god form.
if he uses that form for too long his body will crack until it finnaly shatters and nothing is left but a single lotus flower.
thats Nezha.
he's regenerating.
to keep this from happening too often he uses alot of weapons.
no one in heaven knows of this weakness.
Nezha began working in heaven after the whole.....trying to kill his father thing.
Context: his father destroyed a temple nezha's mother had built for nezhas soul to rest in so when nezha was reincarnated he wanted revenge.
anyways
Nezha did not have a good time working in heaven. he was 12 and...well lets just say the lotus body didnt exactly look. godlike. so over the course of a few years he use glamor and transformation magic to change his appearance. to not only look more godlike but older as well. that way people would respect him. no one would consdescend him. no one would have a reason to yell at him or poke and prod at his weaknesses.
his body doesnt grow. he's stuck the same way he was when he died.
its not a bad thing.
its really not.
he can be the child he was never allowed to be.
but he doesn't let himself be that.
he works and he works and he works.
desperate to earn respect.
desperate for people to no longer look down on him.
so he pretends to be an adult.
on one hand theres nothing really wrong with his older form, its the reason he has it thats the problem.
he stays in his older form most of the time bc...well come on. being a kid isnt always great.
despite the fact that he doesnt grow he is mature.
thousands of years of living will do that.
hes still a kid but he has many years of experience.
so being in his older form isnt a bad thing, it helps him do things that would be harder in his normal form.
like reaching tall places.
(even though he is mature due to years of experience and transforms to look older my nezha is still a child please respect this)
or fighting.
anyways
he was there when swk was punished. he didnt like any of it. at first he thought swk was just a troublesome demon but then...then he started seeing what was really going on.
it reminded him too much of his own experience.
he didnt like any of it. and when the burning of ffm happened he only pretended to join the fight. he even managed to face swk for a moment.
only for them to finally recognize each other. Swk knew this was the child from a home of thunder and lightning. Nezha knew this was the man of the sun with kind eyes.
Nezha was injured and swk told him to run and where to hide for the time being.
after it was all over...Nezha was forced to watch as swk...the only man to ever show him true kindness. the only man he feels safe around...was tortured by heaven.
he hated every second of it and to this day it haunts his nightmares. all of it. ffm. the torture, the furnace. for the following 500 years he was under the mountain Nezha had nightmares about swk blaming him for not freeing him.
worst 500 years of his life.
so much guilt.
and he already has so much on his shoulders that he is still learning how to handle.
after the journey they met up again. Nezha could barely stand to talk to him. the guilt clawing at his throat and thumping in his chest.
swk seemed cheery as ever though.
nezha invited him to tea at his home.
he moved out of his families place bc "hes an adult"
he just needed to get away from his father.
swk accepted.
it was nice for a moment. just a little bit.
then swk mentioned the elephant in the room.
he saw nezha and how horrified he looked during...that.
he wanted to ask nezha if he's okay.
for a moment nezha was silent. couldnt bear to meet his eyes.
then all the glamors and transformations fell.
every wall he'd built and fortified over the past thousand years crumbled and for once he finally let himself cry.
like a child.
swk dropped whatever he was holding (poor teacup) and immediately held the poor suffering child in front of him.
dad
Swk is dad
that day Nezha spent the rest of the afternoon letting out everything he had been holding inside. so much for someone so young.
that was the day swk adopted nezha.
nezha didnt know he was adopted swk just started showing up to his temple more often.
when swk told nezha, nezha laughed thinking it was a joke, then he got a little angry. nezha thinks he can take care of himself. he can...but he's not exactly very good at self care. swk told him he doesnt wanna coddle nezha. just... be there when he really needs it. be that person that nezha can run to when everything becomes too much.
nezha cried again.
so. yeah.
thats nezha.
he hides who he truly is from celestial eyes. working endlessly to become the perfect image of a celestial god. doing everything he can to seem perfect and untouchable. strong and unbreakable.
Swk has a room in every home he owns thats set up for Nezha to rest in whenever he needs.
Nezha and swk's dynamic doesnt exactly change much like in the show. Nezha doesnt exactly like how much Swk acts like a goofball. he's less tolerant of it around other people. then goes to ffm with him ranting about how swk is a king, a high ranking individual with alot of power. he should act more like it.
all, while he's in his true form and sits on swk's shoulders.
all while he and swk sit beside a river and lets swk braid flowers into his hair and then eat fruit on a cliff as the sun sets for dinner.
then nezha falls asleep on swk's side and she carries him home and tucks him into bed.
FFM, is a safe haven for nezha when he needs it.
swk is a safe person. the only person who ever sees his true form.
when nezha was assigned to protect the samadhi fire he felt as if he finally had the respect he's been working towards.
he stopped visiting swk as often bc of his duties.
he still visited just. not as often as before.
even so, they are father and son. nothing can change that
for more info heres some links to other posts where i talk about nezha. its mostly for au's but alot of it is also within my own hc's and not just au's
im picking out the angst ones just for u
general hc's masterpost(wip)
Nezha and his Monkey dad
Fragility
he's not good at self care
1Mother?
2Mother?
Picky eater
Sick
Unconditionally
They didn't deserve you
anyways this was fun to make. thanks mercy ive been meaning to talk about all of this for a while now
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Hii i know im late but either kuron allura or lance for the ask game thingy you rbed like two days ago?
(i know i always pick these three but idk i just rlly like hearing your thoughts on them<3)
Yay!! I am so sorry this is late. Also heads up this gets long and really salty-
Kuron-
favorite thing about them- He's trying so much! He is not great at it and he was very much Doomed since the beginning and he lost every agency he never had to begin but my god he was Trying! He did not know he was a clone but he felt he that he isnt him and Haggar was still scouting in his head but he was still trying until he couldnt, my god i love him!!
least favorite thing about them- Other than the fact he fucking died??? Kuron babygirl please dont go behind your teams back and dont yell at people, i know you are Going Through It™ but still
favorite line- "Like i am not like myself" HAHAHAHA HAHA FUCKING KILL ME!!! orz
brOTP- Lance and Kuron relationship that lives in my head and has a special place in my heart, also Veronica and Kuron because i am too deep in That au i will make it a thing if only just for that au
OTP- Do i have to answer this one? I guess Kur.ance if you twist my arm but to be honest i still prefer it as platonic or qpr. I am not much of a shipper and he has aroace swag to me. Oh, also Kuron/getting to live as his own person aka the best ship ever
nOTP- I guess Kuron/Keith and Kuron/Lotor? Mostly because my rather uhhh negative opinions on Keith and utter disappointment with Lotor's character and annoyance with both of their stans
random headcanon- i have already talked about him being fan of reading but did you know he also writes sometimes? It is not *great* and almost all of them are wips because he is never sure how to end a story but he is trying
unpopular opinion- if i see one more "Kuron the evil mean clone" i will scream.
Other than- ok. You know how much i love him right? He is one of my favourites and i like him more than Shiro, you know that right? I need you to know and remember that when i say the next part.
Entire clone arc was just not needed. Like you could have had the same effect with Shiro being mind controlled and i personally feel it would have been better. Clone arc just overcomplicated an already messy plot, added even more elements and questions that went absolutely nowhere, left behind a shit load of plot holes, became the final nail in the coffin of Shiro having any possible arc or development, and added a new sympathetic character just to kill him off as a plot device.
And the entire "You are my brother Shiro, i love you" who is it for? Literally who is it for? It would have been much more heart wrenching if it was mind controlled Shiro but we clearly established that is not him. That guy is not Shiro, and Keith as i recall had like 3 on screen conversations with him, 2 of them being strained and then Keith just fucks off with the Blades for most of 3 seasons. It is not for Kuron cause narrative is insistent that he is ~evil~ tool and later on they use his body to get Shiro back. So like, who is it for? Other than to show how sad and angsty and great and amazing writers pet Keith is of course but that is the whole goddamn show.
Like i love him and he did not deserve any of That and i am going to keep making up aus where he lives but the entire pointlessness of clone arc angers me so much
song i associate with them- Being a basic bitch here but Control by Halsey
favorite picture of them-
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honestly every scene with him having long hair is just>>>
Allura-
favorite thing about them- Allura is just so genuinely kind, like she goes from one traumatic event after another and loses everything she had and she is rightfully angry and hurt and upset but she still remains kind and does everything so that others dont have to go through what she did and so she sacrifices what little she still had
least favorite thing about them- why is she fucking dead 🥺🥺? Girl wake up, also as much as i love her i am not forgiving her for entire using-Kuron's-body-to-bring-Shiro-back.
favorite line- "So how would you rate your bloodlust level from 1-5?" Let her be silly please!!!!
BrOTP- Allura and Shiro!! Also Allura and Hunk!!! And a number of interactions between Allura and Lance post s3 too!!
OTP- Free my girl hasnt she suffered enough?? (I do have soft spot for early season sha.llura moments and many allurnce moments)
nOTP- i guess l0tura and k@llura? For similar reasons as above
random headcanon- pre-Altea's destruction Allura was the most daredevil person ever. You could dare her to eat a ghost pepper and she'll do it just to prove she can
unpopular opinion- No longer saying 'the situation is much more nuanced' and 'she was traumatized, it is understandable' about the galra reverse racism bs and instead going she was 100% in the right actually. If this fandom can forgive Lotor for getting thousands of alteans murdered and straight up lying to the woman he says he loves about her own people and forgive Keith for abandoning his teammates and almost getting them all killed by claiming they were sad and traumatized than they can also forgive a black coded genocide survivor not liking a race that has been colonizing and murdering the entire universe for 10000 years including her own people
song i associate with them- Queen of Nothing by Crane Wives
favorite picture of them-
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Look at her smile
Lance-
favorite thing about them- my boy?? My most favourite boy??? Literally everything?? Ok but seriously i have talked about this before but he is complex to me, i love there is so much duality in him he is someone who is kind would die for a person he met like 2 days ago and did not get along but also is just an absolute obnoxious cunt. He is an emotionally mature guy who understands his own feelings but also is just sooo douchey class clown. He wants to be a cool talented hero, he has the capacity to be that but he wants to be seen as one and in his attempts he ends up screwing himself over and comes out looking as anything but that<33!! And he is loyal and goofy and lovable i love him
least favorite thing about them- i would not have liked this fucker if i met irl specifically s1-s2 him at all. Also the fact they did not even give him an arc like why would you do this to him. Also his fanbase, i cant tolerate 70% of his fanbase and the fact that i still love him is a testimony of my love for him itself given i have hated characters and left fandoms for far less
favorite line- "You ever notice how far the planets are from each other, Coran?" Why did they have the goofball say shit like this if he was meant to be just a goofball
brOTP- Everyone <3, he deserves more friends but mostly Hunk, Kuron, and Allura
OTP- i like most Lance ships actually, though there is a specific han.ce au i have in my head that i adore
nOTP- *sighs* kl4nce. It's just sooo Everywhere, i go to Lance's tag and it is all this ship, nearly every s8 fix-it thinkpiece i have seen moans about how Lance was reduced to Allura's bf only to reduce him to Keith's bf and all of them yell about how the only problem with vld was that kl didnt become canon as if all the racism in the show doesnt even matter, and i am so goddamn tired of this like i cant even joke about Lance having terrible taste in men witjout someone bringing Keith up, and i dont hate the ship (and sometimes i even enjoy it) but i am done with this
Random headcanon- he can play violin pretty well! But he also hates playing violin
unpopular opinion- this is coming from someone who only likes and cares about Lance ships but i think he shouldnt have had a romance arc with anyone. I have said this before but he is so obsessed with keeping facades and the romance loverboy is one of those facades. At most he should have had like last one out of beach city episode from steven universe, where he gets a partner by just being himself instead of the flirty loverboy persona
song i associate with them- Top of the world by Greek fire
favorite picture of them-
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He looks great when he is on the verge of death
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sporesgalaxy · 7 months
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i know you prolly know this shit but i gotta yell: chariot and temperance is NOT mid and fitting in. temperance is *going with the flow* when that flow is *the journey of your life*. its not failure to take an easy route you choose so long as you remember that ANY ROUTE IS YOUR LIFE and WILL still feel like it was just as hard once you have moved on. you dont step into the same life twice whether you go with the flow or swim against it, either is your life. the reversed temperance, its "negative" mirror, isnt being "too ballanced" and mid or fitting in, its being UNBALLANCED. which fitting in CAN be, but so can swimming against the current, because its not the curren that ultimately matters its the journey. likewise the chariot is in the flow of life, but is explicitly a VICTORY MARCH won through determination and willpower. it is your triumph, still with a voice wispering you too shall die in your ear but you STILL TRIUMPH, the reward you can obtain from perserverance. and reversed isnt saying you are having the wrong victories, its saying *at any time the reigns are in your hand*. the crowd might freak if you randomly mush your horses and pull away from the march in your honour, but if performing for the crowd is killing you, you can just fukin hit da bricks, as YOU choose. like its not all good and it still seems to fit your self assesments in many ways, but part of the point of the cards is a haruspex of self assesment, neither good nor bad but a way of ordering thoughts for your self. this aint fukin, star sign. even if you wanna do a read as "birth tarot", by the cards if you ever fake your age feel free to pull again, even if its for like, a website age gate. to tumblr joke, you got a frisk ass reading. your determination can be seen in your actions and past motions and creations. you have it, if you feel it or not or like the results of it or not, the reigns are in your hand and the flow of the current is visible, and its full okay to go with that flow or not, pick your route captain.
hehe, I appreciate the passion, and I genuinely like reading abt the Tarot cards so this is a delight! Thank you!
Buuuut Im sorry to say you got mixed up somewhere, my cards were Temperance + the Hierophant!
I admit, I was knowingly being wayyyy reductive as a gag.
I felt called out by the Temperance + Heirophant combo so I wanted to be mean about it lol. Yes, I was always the kid obsessed with making sure things were Fair. Yes, I have an unusually healthy relationship with my religion. And YES, I've been called Switzerland (derogatory). And YES!! I've had the thought, an alarming number of times lately, that I completely understand why people under slightly more social & financial pressure than me will settle for a hetero marriage to someone they only sort of like!!!!!!!!!!!! It was RUDE of the middle road & rituals fan cards to get my entire ass like this, so I was rude back.
Anyways. The Temperance insight you gave here is still quite fun to read! I liked what I read about Temperance (and didnt honestly consider it mid) but I hadnt thought about it like that either!
Chariot sounds fun too :-) Neat stuff! I like Tarot Cards
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