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aggressivenesswhilecrying · 4 months

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Home on sea, lost in the land

Summery:

In of which the crew are simple people, dedicated lives. Species don't mean much, not really, and in thus tail, we focus on the world our love sick pirates live in

Featuring martyn being a little shit, a bustling sea town, and absolutely no plot

No trigger warning that I'm aware of!!

Not beta read or edited!!

(This is a Christmas gift to @chocolate-cake-enthusiast!! I'm sorry it's so late in the night, I ment to post it earlier, but the Google docs wasn't working, and it was a disaster!! Check the end of the fic for a little note afterwards<3)

It's only normal these days to wake up to swaying floors and messy noise. Light peaking through every little corner of the living quarters, lighting the room up like a second sun, directly into his eyes. With squinted eyes, and tired moments, he slrolled over, over, sat up in the center of his hammock, he sets his feet on the wooden floor, feeling as it sways, as it tries to knock him over. With a yawn, and the wave of his hand, he stumbles to the closed door, avoiding all his shipmates sleeping positions, some beds already empty. Slowly creaking open the door, he let warm sunlight reach his eyes. Let the salt reach his lungs.

The as he stumbled out to door, his shoulder slammed into the doorway, causing him to hiss and curse in pure pain. But he managed to keep his nosies of pain down as he stumbled onto the deck. The image of the fae captain, scar, and his first mate. A human named grian, leaning against the rials softly chatting made a small grin spread onto martyns lips. The longing for sea in his dried scales bothering him just slightly, his spices calmed and smoothed against his skin.

Slow and soft steps across the deck let his mind wake just slightly. Glancing up he can see jimmy in the crows nest, the siren no doubt feeling like he's cooked alive as birds try to nip at him. Martyn couldn't imagine being up straight in the sun all day and most of the night. He could already feel his tail flicking at just the idea.

He finds himself also drifting to the rails where grian and scar are, the soft conversation making his heart swell with joy.

"I don't know, I'm thinking that the harvest port would be the best to stop at, its a little far, but if im right cleo has some family there? And no one else has family around the area" Scars said, voice a soft whisper that barely reached martyns ears. Arms folded on the sturdy, but throughly well loved arm rails.

Grian hummed voice unsure as his fingers tapped along his forearm. A steady rhythm that almost sounded like music.

"I don't know, harvest is a little too close to the capital...going there would mean the risk of guards spotting us, and I'm not too comfortable with that.." grians brow scrunched bitting at his lip. Which in turn made scars own brow scrunch at grians worry. There was a reason grian was the first mate. Scar wasn't the best captain. He was great at it, yes, but he lacked that sort of thinking ahead.

Scars hand started to reach for grians face, and martyn decided it was time to ruin the moment, as they clearly hadn't heard him or saw him walk up.

Leaning his own arms on the rails quickly, almost slamming into them and turning to be leaning just over them to be loking at Scar. Startling the two. Scars hand jerking back, and turning a light blue in the cheeks, grians own lightling up slightly.

"What are we talking about?" Martyn asked in a normal tone with a chuckle. Face scrunching as he started at the two with a smug almost knowing smirk.

Grian slid his arm down to his side, where scar couldn't see it, and flipped martyn off, which in turn got him slapped by the mers tail.

"Oh, just where we're stopping next, with the hoildays coming up, we were thinking of stopping somewhere to celebrate, unsure of where." Scar said, voice laced with humor and charm that had martyn not blaming grian for his fancy towards the man. His captins coat open showing the large gashes across his chest in the form of Scars. The large star like cuts under where his breath once where displayed proudly. Martyn had actually been the one to help make the Scars look that way. After having them removed, one day after drinking far far too much, scar had told martyn he wished he had cooler top Scars, and well, the rest was history, now wasnt it?

Nodding simply martyn looked back out to the sea. "We could stop at the timber tide port? That's where me, Jimmy, lizzie, and Scott are from? We don't have any family there, but it's almost completely filled with mer people, and they have a large parade for the middle of winter. Lots of dancing, shopping, shows of magic, all sorts of things." He suggested, slightly rambling about his home, but he doesn't think the two mind when grian nods. Thinking about it for a second, still narrowed. A large pin holding the front of his hair back so they can see the way his forehead wrinkles as he starts to nod a little more, turning to scar.

"I thought you guys were from alice town?" He turns to martyn, face still scrunched, tiltung it at him slightly with a confused look. His sleeveless shirt barely even hanging onto his body. Letting the almost cold air pass through. His brown pants lose and holding on just by his hips, far too long and bunched around his ankles, and they looked big enough that martyn would even say they seemed to be scars. "No, that's just where you found us, we never actually told you guys" Martyn chuckles, watching as the man nodded looking back to the sea, as if the open water will tell him the answer and let him know the future. Empty silence filling the area as grian brought back up his hand, tapping away.

"it's in a swampy area, so there is almost no way gaurd will be there?" Martyn couldn't exactly tell you where that logic made sense, but It felt right on his tongue. In all honesty, he didnt remember much about the area, but Ren was supposed to be there, hidden away in the crowd. And grian seemed to give him an almost knowing look as he turned to scar. The captain smiling brightly, and with a nod, grians full of thought eyes looked right at martyn, and with the way he stared right through his very soul, martyn can't believe he's human.

“We'll talk about it. No promises.” Grians voice was almost stern as he the scared man nodded to the door just across the deck, the doors to the captain's quarters. Rolling his eyes martyn pushes off the rails, dramatic sigh leaving his lips as he walks to the nearest sail post, webbed hands reaching down and holding the still wet thing of rope.

By the time martyn walked back, the two were gone. Which isn't very surprising. And with the morning sun oh his back, and the sounds of the crew waking up, martyn tied one end of the too long rope around his waist tightly, the other end around the rails of the ship. With a huff, martyn looks out to the bright colors. The clouds drifting across the almost cotton candy sky, rich with morning moisture, and making martyn feel far too dried out.

Attempting to wiggle out of his thin night shirt, Martyn could hear the quite talking coming from somewhere on the deck. And yet he paid them no mind as he tossed his shirt onto the deck, and sent himself hurdling off the edge of the ship, rope coming with him.

Starting down at the map, grian and scars eyes didn't leave the nearly secluded area. Days worth of travel away from ant other civilization, even on horse, I would take near a weak if ridding. A sea cliff city. A small port on a lower bay, then at least an hour of hiking to even make it to the city itself.

“I mean…it's not a bad place..?” Scars voiced sounded almost amassed as he glanced up at grian. Green eyes far too unusual. But still just as enticing. The far having the sort of magic around him that almost made you want to agree with everything he said.and grian could almost huff at whatever kind of attempt scar was making.

“Yeah, but martyn also has a thing going on with the king…Ren could very well be there waiting.” grian weakly chuckled, almost as amassed, but still focused. He couldn't count on his fingers how often martyn swayed scar to stop at a port. And then the very next day they saw the poorly disguised king clinging to martyn like a young women who just found her first sailor. Drawn to the distance, and the danger of a pirate.

Scar was silent for a second, the boat slowly rocking, eyes wrinkling, before turning his head up, a determined grin on his face. And grian knew they were doomed. “Yes…but have you heard of the festival? Ive met sailors desperate to go see it back in the navy. But the waters are too dangerous for even most navy ships, and they don't get much of a break.” The captin chuckled, slowly coming to stand up straight, his attitude not changing, as he reached to his side with nimble hands, pulling out a dager with a blade made out of quartz. It wasn't all the usefully, but it certainly was a fancy way to mark a map.

Scared and tanned hand set it on the table, and even with the pink on grins cheeks, he let out an almost disappointed sigh, mostlywith himself as he grapped the danger. Hand fitting comfortably around the handle as if it was made for him to hold.

“Whatever you say, captain.” And the dagger dug right Into the thin paper. Right over the small sea side village.

And honestly? Grian didn't expect it to quite look like this. The towering clif to be carved with what looks to be ancient religious text. For little mers, with big round eyes, and thick and spiked tails, and fins larger then their head to be diving off the cliff that would almost tower over the Castle itself. The doc covered in boxes of fish, and even more crates, a few small fishing ships passing in and out. The mer folks chatting.and sone even with wet hair in the chill temperature. All the crew out on deck. Large grins, and with small bags of coins.

With years spent with the 4 mers aboard the same ship, grian had come to learn of the antifreeze deep in their blood. Even as the crew themselves started to wearing thicker clothing, and keep the inside of the boat heated, well. Lizzie stood against the railing, clawed hands digging into the wood, and for a second grian is almost scared it's gonna break. The lure hanging from her forehead giving off a soft white that grian can barely see, white and cloudy eyes look directly at the land coming closer. The small fins inplace of her ears folded back, and gills fluttering around her neck. Hands tap along the rails of the ship, and grian is a little worried she’ll jump overboard, but with how often martyn does it, he can't say he's actually tooworried. And thin, silky fabric, bunches around her waist.

He was told it was a cultural dress, giving to all members on that day they “grow into their fins” he doesn't question but stares slightly at the tealfabric, flowing down, but cutting off at her ankles, a hole in the back designed with lizzies short, almost triangle tail in wind. Sewn on shell causing her dress to clank with each turn. The top a slightly less see-through pink, the sleeves acting more like a scarf then anything else. And with grians scarft tight around his neck, and his wool under layers on, grian almost wishes he could just feel so comfortable in such little clothing.

As the island comes into view, it's clear all their in their town clothing. Outfits clearer then they've been in months. Hair brushed. just looking at the mers of the ship, it seems like they scrubbed each individual scale. Etho and joel seemed to have brushed their fur like their lives depended on it. Cleos stiching looks brand new. Scar is actually qearing a shirt under his coat. Bdubs looks like someone helped water him these last few day with how green his coat is, and yet grian cant see a single area where the vines peek out of his clay mold. And grian won't deny they all look good, when they aren't somehow covered in dirt, sea water, and smell of week old sweat.

Scar manning the wheel, and grian barking out orders to help with the docking as they pull into the harbor. Easily the biggest ship there. They lower the red, yellow, and green flag as everyone makes work.

Salt in the air is something the burns, but grian can't taste it, as the cold bites even harder.

Martyn can't express thr joy he feels as he reaches the gates, having ran ahead of the group the second it came into view, out of breath due to the uphill run, he turns around only for jimmy to crash into him, leaving him giggling loudly. They almost tip over, but martyn manages to stop the fall, arms wrapping around jimmy as he squeezes tightly shaking the man.

They don't say anything more then loud, unbelieving laughs as they hold and shake each other as hard as possible.

Looking up and meeting Jimmy's eyes, brings not a single butterfly to his stomach, as his hands reach out, grabbing Jimmy's face and kissing for just a moment out a pure joy, he can hear the crew snickering back just a little bit down the trail, before a nether born and a fellow mer start shoving martyn away, a laugh on their lips as tango and Scott continue to elbow him from both sides. Making martyn sway, he eventually puts his hands up and backs up.

“Hey, now come onnnnn, rhats just meaaannn, especially since we had that four-” martyns teasing words are quickly cut off by tango kicking him in the balls, a high groan of pain leaves martyn as he doubles over, grabbing his spot of pain, looking at jimmy in betrayal, as the flustered siren hides his face, and laughs loudly at his pain.

“Martyn. Judt shut up.” Scott giggles out as he layers an arm around Jimmy's waist, pulling the much taller siren to his side. Scotts fins flaring out, as jimmy cant help but laugh more falling onto scotts side, hunched over with his head on his shoulder, back curved as he laughs loudly, tail flicking across the dirt in joy.

Tangos hair roars, and martyn can see how the ground around his feet is slightly scorched.

Martyn ends up walking in, flipping the rest of the crew off as he decides to wander to the market, coins at his side. And spikes along his spin poking up, as his small tail looks to be a slight danger, semi puffed up. Leaving the groups snickering.

Martyn quickly finds himself an inn. Making sure to reserve a room for the next few nights, before he hits the town. The sun has started to set, leaving it all painted in sweet yellows as a few mers go around, lighting up lanterns.

Now, martyn is aware most people aren't aware, but fish are most active at night, or early morning. And so. The two market is just starting to fill with stalls, and lights. Martyns shoes tied around his waist as so he could walk bare foot. His clawed and webbed feet making it all the more easier to enjoy it.

The moon cast a loving glow on the town and its people, and martyn can see the gentle glow of some of his scales. And as he looks around. He sees others, in the cool winter air, also glowing.

His hands drift along the small metal piece. A decoration that goes around your jaw, made to look like wolf teeth. A truly stunning silver color.

Martyn doesnt hesitate as he talks with the seller in an almost deamy state, he finds himself almost getting land sick with how often he's on sea. But he doesn't say anything as he slides over the far too many coins. And gently slips on the garment. It fits nicely, a bit lose, but he can't help but feel excited to wear it.

Martyn will argue with you to the death about it, but he most definitely buys far too much jewelry, and gets his shoes shinned, and buys the local newspaper, and gets a set of tiny little wolves made out of bone. And maybe he stopped at the tavern. Made he let himself have a nice drink. And maybe his coins for the day is almost out. But when his shoulder hits a man wearing a red cloak in the passing streets, he's very aware he isn't a mer. Nor apart of his crew. Throwing himself around, he's met with a sight that take his breath away, standing there, seeming to have planned it. With his commoner clothing on, and a shirt far too open, is Ren. His king.

Martyn can't say he remembers much of the night, but he knows Ren tasted like home. And felt like heaven. Every last bit of him.

Grians breath catches in his throat, he had been at the town, for maybe two days. Two days of seeing the village's wonders, two days of spending far too much money, and two days of not seeing a wink of most of his crew. He'd seen jimmy about three times, having spent the c first day with Scott and tango, spending the second with lizzie, joel, Scott, and this one of the town they all aparently knew, a clown fish mer named Owen.

He'd seen mumbo quite a bit tho, the first half of the first day, mumbo was on his own, before the rest of the time he hung out with grian and scar, not wanting to go anywhere. Etho was off an on, hed seen etho with almost everyone, bdubs normally following.

All in all, grian was completely alone in his stay at an inn. No one else from the crew staying there. The inn keep had told him at half down to come in, yo come in, hang out, and wait for the sun to set.

In which he had busied himself with a sewing needle and a torn shirt. It would probably be best to ask cleo to do it, but without a book, or much of anything, sewing seems like the best bet.

Suddenly, he can hear music, between the thin walls, something loud, happy, they makes him wonder just how beautiful it's gonna be. The entire trip Martyn had talked up the festival. Not shutting up about just how beautiful is is.

Slowly steps down the stairs, creaking every few moment. It wonky take a second for him to reach the bottom of the stairs. The door to leave the inn wide open. Letting grian see the glimpses of the festival.

Of bright colors across the streets, of everyone in thin silky dresses, dancing, and twirling to the music.

And grian almost hesitates. Almost. But slow easy steps leave the inn. Walking into the the streets as the sun sets.

The lanterns that once hung all around the roads, now with stained glass, lighting up the town.and grian leaves his shoes at the door. Walking out into the midst of the dancing, that seems to fill every road.

He feels under dressed in the middle of it all. As bright colors fill his vision. He slowly walks down the path to the market place as he feels his mind spasm with pure awe.

Everyone moves to naturally, like this is where they belong, in the fast moments, music louder then the ringing in grians ears. And grian almost swears he's in a fantasy novel, as people turn.

Some are as wet as can be, and they laugh so loudly as water goes flying. Some women has her hair in what seems to be bubble braids as she stomps, kicking and sending dirt flying with a smile.

Everyone is glowing, the lanterns not the only thing lighting up the sky.

Some little boy about half grians height with glowing pink eyes breaks his trance. The octopus mer having 8 arms, and horizontal slits in his eyes, grabs grians hands, pulling him into the spinning.

And grian laughs. Of course he does. It's high, and near a shrill as the young boy spins grian. The boys pink dress fanning out as he let's out a similar laugh. Grian feels himself bump into someone, about to apologize, untill they take him as their dance partner, before leading him stumbling into someone else.

Grian isn't quite sure how long he dances, but at some point, he knows all the words, and he can feel his voice wearing down.

(Hi!! You made it!! Listen cake, I'm aware we haven't known each other long, but you have very quickly become an important part of my life<33 I'm sorry most of the time I text you, I'm tripping, it's not ment in ill intentions!! It's just that I generally feel safe enough with you, to talk, and call, and all that, with you, when in that state. When I'm lonely, and everything feels weird, you're the first person I think about. Also, I really liked that cowboy hat you showed me, I don't think I expressed that!! It was a really cool hat!! I generally enjoy talking to you, and when you ranted to me after a breakdown, it made my heart soar. I really hope you know, you're not a secondary friend of mine, even with my girlfriend, you place super high up there, as someone I'm close with<333)

(I'm sorry I spoiled most of it that one time, but I hope even with the slightly changed plot, you like it<33)

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romanarose · 1 year

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Ive seen TF boys on your page and I wanted to know you thoughts on how the moonboys would comfort and help a bulimic reader?

Hi love! Happy to give you come HC's for this <3

My inbox is currently closed as im working through old requests/ working on writing fics, but I wanted to do this one bc its a very important subject to my heart, with how bad my bulimia permanently destroyed my disgestive system and teeth

Moon Boys with a Bulimic reader

Warnings: Bulimia, vomit, food restriction, binging and purging NSFW refernces (bc its jake)

Steven Grant

He had to stay late tonight at work, some of his students were a little lost on the subject matter, so he held a study session before finals to allow everyone a chance to clarify. He had felt bad for missing dinner, of course, but he brought cake back as an apology

When you didn't answer, he saw the bathroom door was closed, and just figured you were in there bathing as you often did after diner

when he comes to the door to say hello and let you know there's cake, he hears you crying, and quickly opens the door, knowing your history with mental health problems and worrying you hurt yourself or were going to. He saw you crying against the wall, not even looking at him, and saw remnants of throw up in the toilet that hadn't all gone down with the first flush, he initially thought you were sick

"oh darling, here, let's get you to bed. Is it your stomach-" He paused as he saw your hand, red and scratched knuckles covered in throw up. Oh.

"I'm sorry" you cry "I'm fucking gross"

"No, no darling, you're not, here" Steven gets a wet towel and gently cleans your face and hands, as well as any mess you might have made. He washed his hands, then went to scoop you up. "C'mere love, lets rest, yeah?" And carried you over to the bed, not mentioning the cake he brought. Laying you down with a blanket and your favorite stuffed animal, he brought you water and asked you to drink it, knowing how purges dehydrate. He had read every book he could find on eating disorders, the health effects and treatment. He knew your addictive personality made things worse, harder to break out of habits.

"How long had this been going on again?" he asked

"Today was the first relapse" you answered, but he gave you a look like he didn't believe you "I swear! That's why I was crying... all the progress went to waste" You lip quivers trying to get the last few words out

Steven sits down with you, holding you tight, assuring you that this didn't detract from your progress, that progress isn't linear, and you are still his strong, beautiful girl.

He holds you tight that night, they two of you whispering with the sheets pulled over your head like children staying up too late at a sleep over, whispering about how much you loved each other

Will keep a careful eye on you, and definitely takes over the cooking to make you nutritious food, oh you want to help! Even better, love

Marc Spector

When you first approached Marc about going to the gym with him, he was elated! He was so excited about showing you around, teaching you how to use equipment, and of course spending more time with you!

So you started going with him every time he went, he even bought you cute workout clothes. That might have been a bit selfish on his part. He like checking you out, and he liked the way men stared at you, until they realized you were with him. The caveman part of his brain loved posturing, and he especially loved how you only ever had eyes for him, no matter the stronger, fitter men and women there.

Then you got really into it. Marc thought this was a bit odd, but was happy to spend the time training you.

First warning sign was when you started drinking protein shakes in lieu of breakfast. Not the end of the world, you were never a huge breakfast person. But when you stopped eating lunch in favor of the shakes, he confronted you. You insisted they were just easier, and tasted so good, you just preferred it.

Then there was the day he had to take you home early from the gym because you weighed yourself and found you hadn't lost weight, and you began crying, no matter how much he tried to explain that you were gaining muscle, which is denser than fat, and he was so proud of you for how much you could lift now!

You stuck to the treadmill and elliptical from then on, which Marc hated. He'd run with you for a bit, but then opted to do weights. although he stayed nearby in case anyone caused you problems, he missed working with you. He couldn't even really focus, watching you strain yourself and look miserable

The last straw was when he went to bring you water, and you refused to stop or slow down. In the middle of a argument while you ran, he watched your eyes go blank. Thinking quickly, he pressed the emergency button and caught you as you fell, the treadmill only managed to give a few rug burns on your legs and knees.

When you came to in his arms, you were greeted by his angelic face insisting you drink the water he had. He spoke soft, but obviously very distressed. He asked you how long it had been since you'd eaten. The frown on his face was deep as you watched his eyes start to tear up.

"Don't cry, please" you ask.

"You really scared me" He smiled at you.

Marc drove you insane after that. "did you eat today?" "what did you have?" "did you eat all of it?" this man did not know the meaning of sublty

He babied, and I mean babied the shit out of you

Fucker wouldn't even let you ride him

You gotta sit this man down and tell him to knock it off or you're gonna scream

You make a deal. You start going to counseling, he has to start taking you to the gym again (he wouldn't let you go alone, that's fir sure)

He agrees. You focus back on the weights, less on weight loss. (marc took the scale out of the house. You may or may no have found it shattered in the dumpster when you took the trash out. Marc has beef with all scales now.)

You enjoy the weights, you enjoy feeling strong, and you definitely enjoy using it to bring out Marc’s subby side

Jake Lockley

It's hard not to feel sexy with this man

The pet names and compliments are none stop. You've began to wonder if he forgot your actual name.

During sex, he takes the term body worship to a new level. This man's mouth and hands are e v e r y w h e r e

Why are his hand's all over your arms? Why is he kissing your calves when he's got your feet over his shoulders? Why does he suck hickies between your thighs? Why does he bite and squeeze your hip dip? you'll never know, but you love it

But you and him both know that sometimes, eating problems aren't about body image, but about control, and compulsions. And a little bit of body image because fuck, who doesn't struggle with that sometimes?

When he sees the warning signs, you hiding your body from him, not wanting to eat with him, generally being distant again, he always asks. He doesn't come on as intense as Marc with his protectiveness, but he will mentally keep track of your eating, and try to coax you into eating something if he see's you sipping meals. He has deficiently taken your car keys once, not because he was trying to keep you home, but because he didn't think you were safe to drive the busy streets.

Buys you literally anything he thinks might help. If its not about your body necessarily, he'll get you whatever you think might help you feel in control. Wanna craft? He'll build you a shelf and buy you all the fucking yarn in the world. Wana have a lil world you can control? Every sims pack you can imagine. Cat? Plants? A lizard? Fuck it, yeah, he'll buy you a lizard. Coolest lizard ever. He'll take lil charizard on a walk with you if thats what you want

All the boys

You're getting vitamins

And water!!! If you're throwing up, you're going to at least stay hydrated.

Bathroom lock is either taken out, or there's a spare key. Not out of control, no, they know you'll find a way to do it if you really want to, but in case of emergency

Will encourage therapy and medication, if you think it's right for you, maybe at least to try for a bit?

Never, ever, shame you for how you feel or act. You can tell them if you are having urges, need a distraction.

Steven and Jake make sure to keep Marc's protective nature in check, to make sure you aren't deterred from talking to them.

constantly shower you in praise and love and compliments

Always always always tell you how proud they are of you, even if you relapse, bc look how well you were doing! That means you can absolutely do it again!

I hope this was nice! I really love these 3 and I feel they would all be so supportive (even if marc might be a lil much sometimes XD It's okay, we love him <3 )

not tagging anyone today, but please be sure to comment/reblog if you liked this!

#steven grant #steven grant x reader #marc spector #marc spector x reader #jake lockley #jake lockley x reader #moon knight #moon knight thoughts #tw: eating disorder #tw: bulimia

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bear-remn · 6 days

Text

— ⋆✮ Deadly Eyes ✮⋆

n/t: finally!! i hae delivered this fic so much better and with a (what i think it is) good narrative, i hope you enjoy and support this fic, i appreciatte every interaction with my page. and btw, i'm chaging the tone of my fic to make it a little more serious and deep, but im keeping the storyline.

tw: this chapter is mention and use of drugs.

sinopsis: second day od school at the academy of kirari and mako, dealing with the sakamakis.

⋆༺ chapter two ༻⋆

mako was taking notes in her room, from the past day when she skiped classes to discover that ayato was a vampire, she barely sleep since, too scared one of them came into her bedroom and suck her blood while she's asleep, thats why she locks every door she past, her bedroom and bathroom too. she´s lucky one of her classmates let her borrow their notes, she was´nt the best when it comes to grades and really wants to be a good student, kinda hard when you live with six vampires that can kill you anytime.

a knock on her door interrup her hand writing "yes? who is it?" mako ask, but panic invade her instantly, the idea of ayato coming again and suck her blood, play with her like she was nothing, it make's her sick "its me, reiji" mako get up and walked to the door, her hand doubt a little before open it, wondering why did reiji, a vampire, would come to her room at this hour, but she didnt wanted to belive they were all like ayato.

"hey, whats going on?" she ask when she opened the door, looking at the dark haired man, thinking of his elegant way of dressing is, so different from ayato´s, why did she even think of him? reiji looked her up and down and then give her a cold glanze "may i come in? i have an important item to give you" even if he asked for permission, it sounded like an order. mako didnt move but somehow, her body moved aside, but she didnt do it, it was like the air moved her. reiji come into her room and the door closed by itself, mako felt chills.

"i am well inform of the scene ayato made in school, and the reason why you skipped class so no need to treat me like an equal anymore, you should know your position by now" mako was silent for his words, there was something so inhuman about his way of speaking, the way he treated her... so cruel.

"a good master take care of his food, but you´re not just food, you´re a bride so your blood is whorty of keeping it" reiji leave on mako´s desk a juice box of berries "since we all will be drinking from you, i have to assure your blood does not lose its quality, and dont get sick, it´ll be a problem, do you undertand?".

mako was speechless by his words, a bittersweet moment.

"dont make that face, doesnt look good on you" mako wasnt sure what ace reiji was talking about, she was just standing in silence "do you understand? i ask".

"yes... i understand" mako said, remembering that they, as vampires, can kill her at any time.

"dont stay up so late, sleep well miss mako" on a blink, reiji dissapear from mako´s view.

she walked towards her desk and take the box juice, opening it and drinking it, the flavor was sweet and cold, refreshing, but the situation made her nauseous.

she just cotinued taking notes while drinking the box juice.

...

the next day mako show up at kirari´s room early, she was already dress with the school uniform, her backpack on one shoulder. she knock two times before but she didnt have any replies so she knock again but stronger while asking "kirari-chan? are you up?" no answer until she heard footsteps approaching the door, where finally kirari opens up still in pijamas.

"oh, hey..." kirari looked confused while she rub her eye, like if she just got up "sorry... what time is it?" mako thought kirari was cute, confused all the time "there's still an hour left before classes start so... just wanted to come and hang out a little" kirari smiled instantly and step a side to let mako come in "come here... you" the door close behind mako.

"why you're up so early? we still can nap you know.." kirari ask and sit on the edge of the bed "i dont like sleeping too much" mako responded as she sits on kirari´s desk chair.

"why not? its better sleeping than being with those weirdo´s is innit?" kirari put her hair on a bun and start making her bed and closing some drawers she left opend yesterday.

"you right on that" mako wasnt sure i kirari knew about the sakamaki's being vampires, but she did'nt wanted to tell her yet, at least, she wanted her to discover it by herself.

"anyway..." kirari trow herself on the bed and smiled at mako "you smoke?".

the question surprise mako.

"no..?" mako hesitated wrinkling her nose "i have never tried before, but im not interested".

"damn.. respect" kirari take out some cigarettes under her pillow and take one "do you mind if i smoke here?"

"no, its ok"

"thanks"

while kirari smoke, mako wonder i that was the thing that gave her that unusual smell that reiji always talk about.

"since when you smoke?"

"i dont really remember... probably at the beginning of my adolescence"

as kirari smoked, she was thinkign of some topic to talk about to not get mako bored, kirari is an akward person, she knew it but mako was her only option to have a friend in this house.

"in school, wanna hang out too? people there doesnt talk to me for some reason and... they like... avoid me for some reason?" kirari give mako a weird look, for her, mako looked like a little lamb, lost and cute, she didnt have a bitch resting face, instead she have a nice expression all the time, just as her personality.

"really? i think your company is very pleasant" mako smiled at her comment.

"yeah.. were you able to talk to someone tho?"

"i think so..?" she tried to remember someone, but she didnt talk to them, they talk to her but not on a way people wanted to be friends with her "actually, something really weird happend to me, some girl stop me in the hallway and said some things.."

"what kind of things..?"

"something about me and reiji being together, even when i said that we werent in a relationship she insisted"

"what?" mako was intriged.

"yeah... and some boy wanted to snitch on me for smoking in school"

"did you smoke in school? you could get in trouble"

"oh, dont worry, im very careful" kirari appreciate her concern "but the boy was pretty"

"the one who wanted to snitch on you?"

"if you saw him, you would get it" mako felt curious of kirari´s taste when it comes to a romance.

"what did he look like?".

kirari got up and walked towards the window, smoking there while trying to remember him, but her memory wasnt good when it comes to people.

"he was like... tall and with brown hair" mako make a face to kirari in sign for her to continue talking "i dont remember much, but his voice was good"

"your taste is awfully simple" kirari left out a little laugh.

"ouch, what about you? whats your taste?" mako think about it before answer that question.

"i´d say i like... pretty men"

"what ya mean pretty man? whats pretty for you?" kirari put out the cigarette and throw it out the window to walk towards her wardrobe.

"um.." she tried to find an example of her taste, but the only person that come to her mind was "kanato perhaps" kirari turns to her with the uniform in her hands.

"who?"

"you know, kanato"

they both looked at each other in silence for a few seconds.

"again, who?"

"kanato sakamaki"

"what?! you like one of these weirdo's? even worst, one of the weirdo's we live with?" kirari mouth was wide open for the surprise.

"nononono i dont like him" she responded fast while turning around so kirari could get dress "i just think he is very pretty physically but i have never talked to him yet"

"damn girl, you like them femenine"

kirari dressed fully and put on a brown sweeter, the weather was geting a little too cold for her.

"im done" she announced to mako so she can turn around again and keep talking.

"dont you think one of these boys we live with are... idk.. cute or something?" kirari keep silent while she put some stuff in her bag.

kirari doesnt really have a type, she only liked one perosn before and it wasnt a boy... so she could'nt tell if the sakamkis were her taste or not, she just liked people for other reason more than just a physical appeal.

"idk, i mean-" a knock on the door interrumped her sentence and follow by it the door opened showing reiji, well dressed and impecable as always.

"good evening, we'll be waiting for you both in the entrance" reiji looked at them up and down, analizing every part of their uniforms, looking for something to fix "your hair looks better up, keep it like that" he said to kirari who just give him a thump up "we be leaving in five minutes, hurry" and with that said he dissapear from their sight.

they just looked at each other, shrugging their shoulders.

...

already on their way to school, kirari and mako sat together, chatting and making some jokes about a serie both liked.

"i hate ross, he is the actual villain if you pay close atention to it"

"i dont like him either, he is just... so egothistical, rachel deserved better"

"rachel deserved joey, no one can change my mind and its a universal feeling bc i say so" mako put her hand together in front of her, like if she was praying.

"amen" kirari laugh at this but she got shushed instantly.

"shup up, i can't sleep with this much noise" the girls looked at shu, who was with his earphones on and some music can be heard if your're silent for a moment, which made them confused, how can he hear them if he was listening to music?

"we all can hear your stupid conversation over here, talking as if you both were fucking alone" subaru's voice sounded angry, really pissed, his eyes were closed and his arms and legs crossed.

"ok...sorry we'll keep it down" mako apologized no wanting to make any kind of argument, after all, they were the ones in charge and could, literally, kill them out of anger o just because they wanted. kirari just rolled her eyes, she was so done with them.

they are brothers but they dont talk to each other like normal brothers do, they keep silent and just mind their bussiness ignoring the rest, it was so off putting for kirari and mako.

"before we arrive, drink these now" reiji give stawberry juice boxes to mako and kirari. they both took it, mako directly begin to drink it while kirari just put it on her pocket, reiji notice this and glare at her in disbelief "i asked you to drink it before we arrive the academy"

kirari glare back at him.

"why tho?" reiji's glare became dark and scary, he hated being challenged in any kind of way, and worst, if he was challenged by a human.

"everybody like that juice, even your kind" kirari wasnt sure what he meant by that but she didnt like his tone. so dismissive and unfriendly, she felt like a little girl being ordered around.

"what ya mean my kind?"

"just drink it like i said, it'll keep your mind focus on class" mako was quiet, she knew why he gave them the juices.

"its really good actually" she said to kirari, wanting to evade a posible argument between them. reiji appreciated the support.

"I'm not thirsty"

"i know you dont eat before coming to school and I haven't seen you eat at the academy, so I know you won't eat anything until you get home. drink the juice so you don't pass out in the middle of a class, that would be a problem for you and me, and even worst it may affect you academy record" kirari felt a little intimidated, not only because of his words, she felt a strange sensation because of the way he looked at her, his eyes were deep and a little hypnotizing, as if just with his look he convinced her to do what he asked.

"ok.. dont make a big deal about it" she start drinking her juice box in silence until they arrive school.

...

the classes were calm for both girls, they met each break and explored some areas of the academy they didn't know and studied together in the library to kill time during a long break. when they separated for their last class, kirari went to the bathroom to take opioids so she can relaz for the rest time in the academy.

but she freaked out a little to see nothing on her little silver box, she was pretty sure she left some for today but maybe she was wrong, or someone took it, it was probably the first explanation. quickly she take her phone of her bag and called her dear dealer so they can meet right after classes.

"hello? who is it?" her dealer anwser her call.

"hey, its me kirari" she could perfectly hear him get excited, she knew he had a crush on her for some reason.

"heeey watcha doing gorgeous?" kirari smiled for his change in his tone, even if she wasnt interested, it was nice to have someone that treat her like that in a respectfull way, he didnt crossed the line and make their relation unconfrotable, she appreciated that "just wanted to say hi" kirari heard a loud laugh, making her laugh as well "you are terrible at lying sweetheart, c'mon, tell papa what you need and i'll make it happen for you" kirari smile wide.

"i need some opioides, or something new it would really help me"

"everything for you, tell me when and i'll go" she tought for a moment, she didnt wanted the sakamaki's to see her buying drugs, so maybe the enter of the school or the mansion wasnt her best option.

"what about the south exit of the city? I leave school in two hours and I think I can get there in 30 minutes if I get a car"

"i can send you a car, you know i'll do anything to give you some good shit"

"thaks buddy, you are the best"

"i know baby, see ya later then"

"yeah, see ya"

kirari sigh and headed to her last class, anxious for the class to end.

and when it came the moment, kirari had many excuses to say if reiji asked why she wasnt going with them to the house, even if he didnt belive her, she didnt wanted him or them to know. and while all of the brothers including mako got into the car, she stayed out, waithin for them to go without noticing her. but no.

"c'mon, dont make us wait for you" reiji spoke, making her nervous.

"i'll stay, i have some stuff to do, im waiting for a classmate" reiji looked at her, as if he was reading her mind or her soul, either way she was creep out.

"i can tell when you're lying, why would you?" she tensed up for his comment, why he was so good making people nervous? or was he just hot?

"ok sorry... im waiting for an old friend, i'll go to the house later so dont wait for me" reiji remaind silent, thinking his next words, kirari hated this kind of silence, so tense and so weird.

"alright, go, but shu will acompany you, he is in the academy and didnt listen to me when i told him we were goin home, make him go with you, i'll expect you two at the manor" kirari was spechless, why that guy of all of them? she couldnt remember his face. "take care" she didnt have the opportunity of saying something and the car just go.

"fuck, which one is shu?"

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gayerthanevertbh · 10 months

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Hi, u can call me l. I'm a Jap Filo who is currently living in Japan. A Carol stan and im new here.

I dont know how thise eorks but i usually read in ao3 and i saw people under comments that they interact eith the suthors more in tumblr so i msde one. And I happedn to came across your fic called: lights, camera, action only because i saw your icon which is natsha in bun and if I may ask are you planning to continue it?

I actually did experience the same thing as yours and I am really sorry you had to go through that. But mine was a lot different because it happened mostly online, I don't know how to put it but yeah. I was sent photos, videos, we made calls, she made me do things and have it sent to her online, I experienced it with my teacher in 7th grade; my Mom found out when we were about to migrate in Japan. We went to court once before I flew here and I actually forgot everything about it. But when I was in 10th grade evrything crashed back to me, I strted getting scared going to school also bullies here in Japan are worst. so I decided to work, I stopped studying.

Last year christmsd we flew back to the ph and the first news I got when I stepped in our van was I have to be attend a hearing because their side knew we were going back in home. I nver thought that the case was still on going after how many years. She even messaged me to show up in hearing, that she's sorry, she's building a family now and is 2 months pregnant and that at some point we have to put an end to it she said

But you know what? Nothing happened, I lost. My Mom couldn't pay the lawyer anymore and I had to go back here in Japan before the hearing could actually happen. I was so devastated, I only wanted her license to be revoked so she couldn't teach anymore. And ivee heard a lot of casesone from my friend back there in ph that if the teacher was caught or like reported harassing a student their license wouldn't be taken from them instead the school would just kick them out (it can be taken if the school are doing their job but gues what? Its Philippines. The system is fucked up, the justice is nowhere to be found if you lay under the lowest hierarchy). And funny thing my friend said, after they were kicked out they would always settle in the provinces there in PH, which I found very accurate because I found out that she moved in a suburban province in ph, i yhink its pampanga.

I could still remember how I lied being sick one sunday afternoon, my family are going to church that time so they left me to rest but I sneaked out and went to her place.

And also, the pandemic made much more worst. I started questioning everything, everything I receive and everything I feel. I remember saying, 'I love you' to her and the fact that when I went to the first hearing to find that I couldn't hate her. My cousins were explaining to me that it was wrong, she did something bad to me, but to me it was right it felt right. I never understood how court hearing lawyers works before but when I saw her I knew she has been crying, I could still remember her eyes fuck her look tht time it was the worst state of hers that I had ever seen and I knew from then that I want it to stop so I pleaded for my Mom not to go through the case and flying to Japan made me think that everything was finally over she wouldn't suffer anymore and so do I.

I even tried messaging one last time using the new account my Mom made me which she also had accessed that time, I risked it all but I never found her account it was already deleted i think

I never went to therapy, my Mom never sent me to one and I actually don't know if it'll help. But my friends in ph asked me to go to one and i also been working so i am considering it for a while and ive been also foing sh lately iwant yo go back yo school but my family back in ph eont let me.

I don't know why am I sharing this to you im actually crying while writing this. Because you know what? Until now, I still couldn't figure it out. Half of me still thinks that that was love and it's msking me sick that i was glad we werent able to bring everything back again in the court i fuvking hate it.

I don't know maybe i just wanted to find out your story, how your story went how you overcame everything. The freedom i would never feel.

I font know how this works i wish i could really talk to you.

I'm reall sorry

hi, i read through your message over and over again and im truly sorry. you have no idea how devastated i am for you, and i wish i could even hug you. please feel free to message me, talk to me if you want. im all ears for you. 🤍

#a answers! 💌

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youn9racha · 2 years

Note

helo my sweet! how are you lately :3 (i can't emoji because i'm on laptop but anyways) I FORGOT TO TELL YOU DJGNSKDNFS finals ended and i'm free at last (but for like a few weeks only because enrollment for the next semester is starting TT-TT)

but yeah! i got a new phone btw! i'm still using my tablet, but since i finally got a new phone, i'm planning on doing an smau sooooo 0-0

also hhhhhh since i'm free now, i might finally finish that fic i've been working on as a surprise (not a surprise anymore lmao TT-TT) for you! YEY!!! \(>w<)/

but also, the engagement on this platform really is hard ;-; i've published fics and yet i only been getting like and not much comments or tagged reblogs ;-; it's kind of discouraging to look at honestly ;-; i mean i'm thankful for the likes and all, but most of all i want to know the thoughts of the readers about the fics ;-; though i might not reply to some of them (especially since i don't know how to really form a reply sometimes ;-;) i'd actually appreciate how they'd still let me know their thoughts :( i actually thought of giving up tumblr after maybe finishing the series i'm currently working on

but hhhh yeah that's how i feel atm ;w; a bit dizzy/nauseous if we're talking health or physical-wise! since i'm going through my period ;w; but yeah, i've also been going out a bit more than before, trying to get used to travelling since i have really bad motion sickness and i heard we might have a face to face class at the start of the semester (omg i'm sorry i'm rambling again to you ;-;)

HI BESTIEEE !!!!! IM DOING GREAT !!!! ALSO CONGRATS ON FINISHING UP YOUR FINALS !!!!!! ALSO CONGRATS ON THE NEW PHONE !!!!

ik that feeling about the whole engagement thing, especially since i also had a rocky start from when i came back from my hiatus, where i had little to no engagement even after posting like three fics since my return.

it was only my recent felix fic where i started to get more engagement and traction. lino’s was a close second because i had engagement at first but then crashed literally the next day lmfao. but even so, for some reason there has been a rise of blank accounts and just liking posts without givibg their feedbacks 💔 it’s disheartening really, and it really demotivates us.

i have been thinking of leaving as well but idk i kinda like being here despite everything y’know ? but thats just me. although it’d suck to see you leave, but i won’t entirely blame you, all i can say is just think about it before you decide to leave or not.

anyway, while im hyped that you have the free time to write that “surprise” fic, please put your health first and rest when you can. you’ve been through enough health wise its only fair you rest rn. the fic can wait and im not going anywhere anytime soon, so don’t feel rushed and always take care of yourself 🫶🫶

also ramble all you want thats okay !!! im always here to listen (or in this case read lmfao)

#ella’s mailbox （╹◡╹）#strwbrryblues

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baekhvuns · 6 months

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Ok first of all, let's start with the update of our sunny Bcz it really is a ball of sunshine..

Haebom truly is a mama's boy even tho he looks all tough and manly and that's like the cutest thing ever, AND THE BABY 😭 THE BABY! (not him blushing while he watches sungho eat breakfast he cooked 😭)

he finally confronted about the kiss and haebom's like "are you gay or something like that?" 💀"🕴️...uhhh...it..just happened..., got caught in the moment" (sungho :') )😭 NO BABE IT DOESN'T JUST HAPPEN!

Bro, what's funny is that, HAEBOM'S disappointed with the excuse "in the mommmmmeent??" It's almost like he wanted him to say that yes I like you😭 he's literally pouting (sungho liked it 😏)

AHHHHHHHH-

And then in the next chapter haebom got sick and sungho's nursing him 😔🤚 and haebom cuddles him 😔🤚

Now...D.O IS LEAVING SM!?!?! I do not know how to react to that...

YOUR DAD'S SO COOL 😭 I get the scary part tho, many people believe my dad is scary too BUT HES A SOFTIE IRL LIKE-

Nah ur right, depression be hitting more Bcz of the whole solar eclipse and stuff...as a person who believes in the universe and astronomical stuff, I'm boutta burst with emotions till the 28th...can you believe...in 12 days, a new month will arise. Where...the hell did October go? 😭 I'm ready for Halloween tho 😏

wait wait if you celebrate Halloween what're you gonna be this year?? Oh and, tell me how do you celebrate halloweeeeennnn. Tht is a fun question to ask...Bcz i haven't really thought what I'm gonna be..🕴️ life's got no chill and I'm busy asf so but imma still think though.

AND OMG DID YOU HEAR SUNMI'S NEW SONG?!?! MOTHER BLESSED US WITH A CREEPY ASF SONG AND IM ALL HERE FOR IT BCZ ITS HALLOWEEN!!

I was also watching red, white and royal blue a d it was cute, but.....hmmm idk maybe Ive become used to the whole kdrama thingy but i didn't feel like, there was enough build up 😭 idk dude I mean yeah it was just a 2 hr movie but still..I'm gonna read the book though.

Oh and speaking of dramas I've been wanting to watch destined with you Bcz rowoon...oh god rowoon, the rizz he has in the drama 😏

ANDDDD I've got like two idea for a fic and the first one is a little more...how do I say it? Mafiacore? So imagine, person a and person b. person b, is given a mission to go get some imp documents that person a has (very dangerous leader of a mafia clan) which has things that's are against person B's boss so hence he's given the mission so like...an undercover spy maybe...AND A MAFIA AHHH! But as the law suggests they end up falling in love but the catch is...the real villain is person B's boss and person a had already met person b once that's how he felt a connection with him😭

The next one is Bcz I've been heavily obsessed with Lana del rey and i thought of this while listening to Salvatore....so, imagine like person a is a really vintage girl, obsessed with books, but for research purposes and to unfold the secrets of this world (not like us 😔) and so there's this Library she loves going to but she wants to read more into mythical creatures and stuff but the library restricts the specific area, so, as any protagonist would do, our person a, breaks into the library after its closing hours and goes to the restricted area that is rumoured to be haunted and stuff, there..she meets person b. A really peculiar guy, beautiful, but peculiar with a fashion sense of the 40s and 50s wearing, those suits and perfect hair that fell onto his forehead angelicly.

And as the story unfolds, they both start to get closer to the each other, of course I'd add more drama to it, but the catch for this one is that....person b is not real.

this is so very late im so sorry fbkwbdwk 😭😭

NOT THE TWO HAIRS ON THE KID 😭😭😭

“who said i hated it?”

he’s leaving sm BUT it’s only for his solo activities, for group activities he’s under sm 😭😭😭 honestly the best thing for all of them atp i need their freedom asap

RIGHT LIKE THOSE R THE BEST DADS THE SCARY IRL BUT THE SWEETEST IN PRIVATE

omg the eclipse thing??? what does it affect 😧 u need to tell me asap everything u know in detail 🔫 READY FOR HALLOWEEN BUT WHY IS IT ALWAYS SO DAMN COLD ON HALLOWEEN 😭😭 & not it being on a tuesday 🧍🏻‍♀️

i do celebrate it but unfortunate i stopped dressing bc i can NEVER find good things to be <3 my wardrobe is very lacking fbakfhak tHO ID WANNA BE OPPENHEIMERS CHARACTER the tux and the fedora hat <3 U TELL ME YOURSS WHAT ARE U GONNA BE

I DID AND I HAD TO HEAR IT MULTIPLE TIMES TO GET USED TO IT but it’s sus bc i saw no promo for it i didn’t even know it was happening tbh

no ur right that’s my exact thoughts abt it, i wish it was longer and had more to offer i wanted to know the reaction of public, a gut wrenching monologue, longer time spent apart, wanted crying scenes, a little emotion on face, the royal family contacting his president mother for some discussion and possibly expanding on the secretaries love life’s,,, 7.5/10 for me personally 🤚🏻 i rly liked the texting scene !!

STOP I SEE IT EVERY WHERE IS IT WORTH THE HYPE

now that mafia fic is very interesting bc i have this one where it’s two spies who work against each other and their mission is to get info from each other to report it to their agencies,,, fall in love, action scenes, painful separation of lies and then they meet years later to be on a mission, but this time, together

THAT LANA ONE CHAAERSSS

#✉️ : ask #[ chaerssss ]

0 notes

nar-nia · 7 months

Note

hi!

wow.

omg, its been so long since i spoke to you but a lot of happened in my life kinda (as well as yours from what i saw)

first of all, CONGRATULATIONS on finishing uni!!!!!!! im proud and happy for u!!! u worked hard and it paid off!! and wow, bakery?? that sounds so amazing!!!! like straight up bakery/coffee shops au!!! must be super fun and probably always smells rly good there!! i hope ure having tons of fun!!! and that ure eating lots of cake duh

for me, idk if u remember but i passed that oral exam!!! i did it in the beginning of september!! and i felt relieved and euphoric about it! and now the new semester (so my second year ) starts soon and…… i feel so anxious about going back, talking to people, all the stress and constant anxiety, and the fact that im still questioning whether this was the right thing to study and the lingering feeling that all my friends have it figured out already with the life and im kinda stuck. like when its right u know? but idk ??

but on a more positive note? my summer was rly great overall so i hope urs was too!!!! im no longer a teenager tho 20 hits hard - especially after olivia rodrigos new album lmaoo

hee has purple hair now and he looks soooooo good!! ALSO i read jakes and jays fics u posted and they were so nice, omg like??? :((( like made me realize how much i missed ur blog and u!!!!!!!!!!!

i love you, wishing u all the best always!!!!!!!!!!

-beloved anon wow it feels good to write it again!! <333

OMG HELLOOOO 🥺🥺🥺 it's been so long, i missed you so much. how are youu <333

please i'm so happy about finally finishing uni, it felt so long and annoying in the end. but now i already kinda miss it 😭

working in the bakery is.. interesting. it's definitely what i want to do in life, the other day i spent the whole workday just making cakes without anyone bothering me and i loved it so so much, but it's also hard and really stressful (which is why i am replying so late and i'm really sorry, first i got sick and then i got hit with a workload again 🥲). i have to do work that's supposed to be for like 4 other people and it's something 😶 let's manifest that they will find more workers soon because this is way too stressful for me (and my coworkers, i haven't seen them smiling in the past two weeks anymore, it's a bit scary). but enough complaining 🫡 the work itself is fun and the food is so good 🫠🫠 apart from onion cake/pie, i have to do it all myself and i swear i haven't stopped smelling like onions those past few weeks 💀

okay but now to you! CONGRATULATIONS ON PASSING YOUR EXAM 🥳🥳🥳 you did so well and i hope you're really proud of yourself 🥺🩷 and best of luck for your second year, i'm sure you will do as amazing as before 🩷

i'm sorry that you feel so nervous about it though. i have to be back in school to become a baker too now and i was so nervous on my first day, i got sick like right after 💀 and my class really is something (not necessarily positive but there are really nice people too). buuut i hope that your classmates are the nicest people you have ever met and that you will have lots of fun this year, you deserve it. and of course lots of amazing grades in your exams 🩷 i think if this bakery thing has thought me one thing is that it's okay to not know what you want yet. i think i have found my place now (although not necessarily in this bakery) but it took me a while to figure it out too. and in our bakery we have two people who tried lots of different stuff too before they settled on training there. so please try not to worry too much for now, i'm sure it will all work out well for you 🥺🩷

but i'm so glad your summer was nice <33 mine was full of job applications and moving but i still enjoyed it a lot (oh i miss the time where i could stay up all night and sleep in and not start work at 4am 💀) and happy belated birthday, omg <33 welcome to your twenties, it's a wild ride 😍

i missed you so so much too, i'm glad you liked my stories but even happier you had time to check in 🩷 but yes, hee 🫠🫠 wow. i love him (although he's not the only one anymore, can you believe?? jay has been bias wrecking me so hard i am so close to making him my second bias. that guy has me BLUSHING)

i hope you are doing well despite it all and will continue to do well 🩷 you deserve the best and you should get it. i love youuu 🩷🩷🩷

#beloved anonie 💖#my loves ❤️#talk that talk 📣

0 notes

tbzloonar · 2 years

Text

FINAL GOODBYES.

PAIRING regulus black x gn!reader. WARNINGS none, only angst. GENRE angst. WC 803 words. A/N just some angst while i work on other fics </3 another regulus black fic coming but it kinda ?? has a happy ending, its much longer than this one (if im patient enough) but anyways enjoy this and pls don't hate me i'll come up with a fluff fic as an apology if anyone wants one </3

↳ m.list | harry potter m.list

"REGGIE," A PLAYFUL SMILE WAS EVIDENT ON YOUR FACE, as you made your way towards him. No matter how much time he spent with you, he still never really got over the butterflies you gave him. The feeling of pure happiness reaching his heart. If not a lot, just a bit. It would still be enough for him. "You never call me to meet you in the middle of the night like this."

"Well," he shrugged, watching you come closer, and standing beside him as the both of you laid your hands on the railing, looking at the sky above. "Things change, I suppose."

Oh boy, did they change.

You were called here, earlier today. Regulus passed a note to you during one of your shared classes, a small parchment of paper with the words quickly scribbled on, "Meet me at the astronomy tower, at midnight."

You and Regulus were secret lovers anyway, so it was normal for him to pass you notes, or for you to give him some too, deciding on times for the both of you two to meet. But at such a late time like this? That was a first.

There's always a first to everything, so obviously, you showed up. Maybe more out of curiosity. You trusted Regulus, so there was no need for you to worry, you had nothing but love stored in your heart for him.

"Why'd you want to meet me here anyway?" A frown found its way to your face as you saw him shift a bit uncomfortably, avoiding your eyes. You tightened your grip on the tower's railing, "are you alright darling?"

You reached out to him and touched his arm, expecting him to fall into your embrace searching for comfort, as he always did, but what shocked you was when he stepped back and looked at the ground below him. Your worried frown deepened. Something was wrong, terribly wrong.

"Y/N," he called out to you gently, though you could clearly tell his voice was shaky, as if he was about to start crying any moment now. "I think we should... not stay together. We shouldn't be together."

The silence between the both of you made Regulus feel like he was choking, the air around him became colder.

It wasn't until you decided to speak up, which made it harder to breathe for Regulus. "What?"

"I would like to not repeat myself." He swallowed nervously.

"You're joking right?" You chuckled humorously, "this has to be some sick joke. No way, there is absolutely no way. Tell me you're joking Regulus. Tell me!"

Angry tears streamed down your face, making Regulus tear up as well. The love of his life, was crying in front of him, all because of him. He hated it. He hated that feeling.

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what? No, tell me Regulus!" You were yelling at this point, not caring if anybody hears you. "What is it that is going on? Please, tell me, I'll help you. I'll do anything. Just don't leave me."

You were practically begging at this point, Regulus began to cry at the sight, sobs escaping him. "You can't do anything! I'm trying to keep you safe. I can't let you get dragged into this as well! Don't you understand?"

"No I don't understand Regulus, what is it this oh so dangerous thing that you're trying to keep me safe from by leaving me behind and breaking my heart in the process?" The words kept leaving your mouth one after the other, your cries were still heard by him.

"This!" Regulus yelled, as he raised his sleeve, showing the newly plastered dark mark. You could recognize it anywhere, your hands shot up to your mouth as you covered it in shock. "This is what I'm trying to keep you safe from!"

"Stop." Your eyes stayed focused on the mark on his arm, you shook your head in disbelief.

The both of you grew quiet.

"Regulus..." You sighed and sobbed some more, "it's alright, it's alright," you didn't know who you were trying to comfort or reassure at this point, Regulus or yourself, "we'll get through this together Regulus. I'll help you."

"I'm sorry."

"You don't have to be sorry, we'll get through this, Regulus. We will get through this. Together."

"I'm sorry." He shook his head, looking at you with his glossy eyes. He walked away slowly.

"No, Regulus. Where are you going?" You sobbed even more as you fell down to your knees, yelling at him to come back to you. "Regulus please! Regulus no, don't leave me!"

But he did not stop, yet his body shook as his sobs escaped him, every time you yelled.

That would be one of the last times you'd ever see your first love, and then, never again.

A/N i am so sorry for this

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p1nkwitch · 2 years

Note

FLURBY HELLO!! i have decided. to read all of your work. i am simply obsessed with your fics lately so lets hope i can be productive again when im finished. because for now it is just Unproductive Brainrot™. aNyway, yea. i wanted to ask... something i think? er-- yes, basically, are there any that you advice to read before the other? or. idk, really. anyway ahhhhh sorry A out.

First of al hgfkjdd that is so sweet and your comments are awsome and hilarious. Secondly! You may ask whatever you want i am always willing to share my love for Lonelyeyes. So!

Mm, there is not a particular order, most of the stories are self sufficent. However! I do have some that establish stuff that i keep reusing in my fics. Its my own personal Fanfic cinematic universe of references that go across my stories. I also have a few fics that i am awfully fond of.

But if you want that sweet sweet lore...

A mother's love Jonah's mother and his fear of death.

One man's trash is another man's treasure this one is from waaay back when i started writing and it is a soulmate au, however i use some aspects of it regarding the relationship with Peter and Elias. Mainly their first marriage and honeymoon.

One step forward, two step back au where Peter lives, again it mentions the original, marriage certificate.

The cat chronicles how they got the cats.

Thrill of first love first ace Peter fic.

The rise of the Sky au about Peter being vast aligned, but mainly about the sisters he mentions in his statement. I keep using them in a lot of stories so here is where they came from.

Beach afterlife reunion party a series of one shots about post mag 200 where Peter and Jonah find each other in the afterlife, they tend to be angsty for Jonah, but hey if you like that you will love it. The beach is always my go to place in cases they die so the afterlife is in fact part of my verse.

Heart Machinations the origin of Pasha the not Sasha, also first instance of me using the cats. Its a horror romance, scy fy, portal au in SPacE. It is however a long fic unlike the others.

Pasha re appears as baby Pasha in the Once upon a time fic, but again both fic are long, so no need to read it. Long story short, NotSasha is friend shaped in my au's so it will save you time.

Those are the main ones. If you want recomendations of ones i really like-

The things we lose along the way temporary amnesia au, Elias gets messed up, his husband picks up the pieces.

Cold heart warm hands Peter taking care of a really sick James

And the sea is calling back to me Selkie Elias ! also a bit spicy and very angsty, mind the tags. Still very wholesome and last chapter is hilarious.

The world turn upside down raincarnation au post mag 200, maybe somewhere else if you want to be kind, but i wrote it before the ending so uh, Jonah's death differs. Still like it much more. It is a sucker punch in some cases and i cant stress enough to check the tags. I dont go full end on the fic, but it still has some things.

Buzzfeed Unsolved The mysterious dissapereance of Jonah Magnus my best comedy work, do you like buzzfeed unsolved? Do you like Jonah being dunked on? Here is your food!

Uh, otherwise? Read to your own leisure i got a whole bunch of fics for you to pick god knows i poured a lot of time in all of them so i love em regardless, there are some hidden anonymous ones too, cause oh, sweats, shame.

#flurby gets an ask #ahhh love getting asks about my fics #and your comments are always sweet!#plus you make really nice lonelyeyes #so glad to recomment things to pass the time when the Unproductive Brainrot hits #you can ask as many times as you want i dont mind!#also just so you know i am open to doing art requests i saw your tags hgfdkgf #lonelyeyes #peter lukas #elias bouchard #tma #the magnus archives

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dindadjarin · 3 years

Text

Reunited

pairing: captain rex x Jedi!gn reader

word count: somewhat over 5k (im sorry)

warnings: none, just some diet angst and maybe some typos

summary: you and Rex both thought the other to be gone for good, but fate brings you together once again to prove you otherwise. A chance you thought was lost appears again and you must decide if you’ll take it or not.

AN: OK Y’ALL I know I said many times that I would post this and then I never do but hear me out. I intended to post this the week after TBB episode 7 came out but I got sick™️ my brain could not think of or type a single word for a week. Then life got busy with work problems and it took me another week to finish this. BUT I’m happy I can share with you now. So here you go, a shiny new Rex fic that I hope you like. Enjoy! (gif by @obihoekenobi not mine lol I cant gif)

------

The Marauder makes a smooth decent into the Ord Mantell space port –a very welcome change after being tossed around the ship while trying to get away from Rhokai. Ruby, the lizard you stole from the Rhokai —named by Omega— moves restlessly around her cage. Hopefully she’ll end up in good hands once Cid delivers her to whoever is paying for the bounty. You’re still not sure what to make of the Trandoshan, but she’s been hospitable so far. At least hospitable enough to let clone deserters, Omega and a Jedi stay with her. Still, after what happened at the end of the Clone Wars, you’re not one to be trusting when it comes to strangers.

Everyone gathers their things by the hatch and wait for the familiar hiss of it opening to start their descent. When you don’t go to the main hatch, Omega and Echo being the last ones to head out, turn back to look at you.

“You’re not coming with us?” Omega asks you after calling your name, which makes you shake your head no while sending a soft smile her way.

“No, you go ahead.” You stand up from the seat in front of the main computer and run your hand over her head. “I’ll stay behind for a bit, I’ll meet you back at Cid’s later.”

“Ok!” The kid smiles. “Say bye to Ruby.”

You chuckle and decide to amuse her by crouching in front of the cage. “Goodbye Ruby, take care wherever you go.” You send the lizard a wave before standing up once more.

“We’ll see you later then.” Echo nods at you, the look in his eyes shows he knows why you’re staying behind. You return his nod with one of your own before turning around and heading to the back of the ship.

The floor is littered with ration crumbs, used socks and cables. Even Omega’s bad batcher had managed to find its way under a heavy crate. “I don’t even know why we’ve got you here Gonky, when all the trash is just thrown on the floor.”

The droid makes a sound that sounds a lot like an agreement. It prompts a chuckle out of you as you keep picking things up and placing them where they should be. You put Tech’s cables back on his bunk bed, the laundry on its bin, and the rest of the trash inside Gonky who beeps happily. Once everything is back in order and the Marauder resembles a ship more than a junkyard, you clean your hands and make your way to a seat at the front of the ship. Your feelings had been all over the place lately, not that anyone notices, but you needed some time to meditate.

It’s important for you to find some peace in the midst of the chaos and the nervousness creeping up your neck whenever Wrecker gets a headache. Just as you’re about to sit down though, you remember Omega’s bad batcher, stuck under a crate in the back. You sigh and turn back around, better to help the poor trooper and leave it in Omega’s room, than having her and Wrecker move everything around later trying to find it.

You haven’t been travelling with the Bad Batch for a long time –you found them in Pantora only a few rotations back, when you had recognized Hunter at a pawn shop. Still, you’ve grown fond of them in your time together. They really are a family, with the bickering, the laughter and the care that makes you feel glad to come back every day. You had worked together before, when the batch helped your battalion on some missions during the clone wars, so it was a relief to see a familiar face in when you were all alone. You knew it was a risk to even call out to the Sergeant in the shop, not knowing if his chip would be active or not, but it was that or being on the run and jumping from one transport to another.

It was reassuring really, to know their chips didn’t function as those in other troopers did. Like the soldiers in your own battalion, your friends…

Shaking yourself from those bad memories, you make your way back to where you saw Omega’s toy. It’s under 2 crates behind some cargo boxes, that you start to rearrange. You move the first one with ease towards another pile, but when you lift the second crate and save the trooper, the bracelet on your right hand gets stuck on the crate it comes loose when you stand up.

“Dank farrik!” You whisper to yourself, putting the trooper aside and crouching down to get your bracelet back on. Upon closer inspection, it was only the brown leather cord that had come loose, the beautiful blue stone tied to the middle was still intact. “Thank the Maker.” You’re relieved to say the least, when you tie the bracelet back on your hand and rub the stone softly as it sits on your wrist.

It’s a reminder of the past, of the war that just ended in such a gruesome way, and a reminder of him. Rex.

The captain had given you the stone when he had come back from an underwater mission in Mon Calamari. He’d said he found it in the ocean and knew that if you’d been there, you would have picked it up as well. You had ignored his flustered expression to save him from further embarrassment and thanked him softly –all while your heart fluttered as your fingers brushed. Private interactions were always like that with him, shy and hidden as it had to be.

Even when feelings kept growing between you, they were kept under lock and key for the sake of the war. There was no time for it and it wouldn��t have been seen right. So it was a secret when you worked together and it remains a secret even now… he’s dead and you never got to say it, it’s like the two of you never had a chance.

The pain in your throat is familiar to you as you try to keep your tears at bay. You sit there on the floor of the Marauder and curse fate for sending you off to different missions before the end of the war. Now you live with the regret in your conscience, all the pain that comes with it and newfound guilt at the thought of your travels with the Bad Batch. You’re endangering them, and Omega, by being part of the crew.

What if you are recognized, what if someone hurts them to get to you? One thing is for sure, you must talk to Cid and find a way to leave on your own. Perhaps you can go to a secluded planet and work for Cid when she needs you, or you’ll stay in Ord Mantell. Whatever the plan is though, you know for sure that it must be alone –if someone’s ever going to get hurt because you’re a Jedi, that’ll be you. You unclip your lightsaber and throw it to the back of the ship in frustration, to think you believed things to be complicated before.

You let yourself cry for a few more minutes, and then meditate on your decision to leave the Batch for a couple more before you stand up, take your datapad on the way, and leave the ship. You close the hatch with your vambrace and make your way out of the port and towards Cid’s bar. The streets are dirty like you left them and somewhere far ahead a pipe has broken and it’s slowly filling the street with water. Sighing, you decide to take the the route through the market to avoid the small flood and your frown is immediately replaced by a smile when you see Omega and Wrecker enjoying two boxes of Mantell mix.

Omega spots you first and waves, which gets Wrecker’s attention. He calls your name and waves you over. “We have Mantell Mix!” He points enthusiastically to it as you approach the two.

“Best part of the mission!” Says Omega, offering you some. “You’ve got to try it.”

You chuckle and oblige, picking some of it and chewing it carefully. The sweet and salty taste is delicious, and you immediately know why the two have become addicted to it. “It’s delicious!” You tell them, and then a thought crosses your mind. “Have you paid for these?”

Wrecker chuckles, “We put them on Cid’s tab! It’s fine.”

“If you say so…” You shrug. If Cid hasn’t said anything yet, then it’s probably fine. “I’ll see you two back at the bar. Enjoy.”

“Bye!” Omega waves for a second before becoming engrossed with the sweet treat in front of her once more.

Though your smile is small it stays on your face as you turn right at the familiar alleyway leading to the underground bar. It continues to be there as you examine the art covering the walls next to the stairs, but it dies quickly when you reach the bottom and see the people sitting by the bar. There, between Echo and Hunter is Rex? In a poncho?

You drop the data pad you were holding, and it clatters when it falls on the floor, the sound loud in the silence that has fallen over the group. Your eyes meet Rex’s, and you can’t form a single word. The air you had inhaled is stuck in your chest. “You’re- What?” Your mind can’t form a single word other than his name, especially when he stands from his chair and whispers yours.

“I thought you were dead. How? Are you travelling with them? Are you… okay?” The captain seems to ask question after question that you can’t pay your full attention to. Not when he’s looking at you like that, with genuine concern in his kind eyes. Not when he’s alive in front of you.

You throw all caution to the wind, then, and get over your initial shock to walk over to where he stands and put your arms around him. The confirmation that he is standing right there in your arms, is enough to make a shaky breath leave your lips as you place your cheek on his shoulder.

“Rex.” You whisper. The captain tenses for a second before his arms circle your waist and hugs you just as tightly. These are his brothers, you suppose, that’s why he’s letting his guard down.

When you step back, you can’t help but smile widely at the man in front of you. “Rex, I thought you were dead. You’re okay… but how?” You spot a scar on the side of his head and run your thumb carefully over it. It must be where he removed his chip from, otherwise he would’ve killed you on sight. The Captain, with his back to the rest of the group, closes his eyes for a second at your touch before he smiles softly.

“He is listed as dead according to the Empire’s records. And you are presumed dead according to your previous battalion’s reports.” Tech chimes in from his seat on the bar.

You chuckle and shake your head, still looking into the Rex’s eyes. “It’s so good to see you.”

“I could say the same thing. I thought I’d… never see you again.” His eyes scan your face, a small smile gracing his features as he does so. Then he spots your new set of clothes and raises an eyebrow at you. “Nice overalls.”

“Nice poncho.” You tease him back, motioning to the brown piece of clothing covering his armour. “My old clothes gave me away, I blend in better this way.” The shrug you offer his way is shy as his gaze never leaves you. You suppose it’s fair as yours can’t focus on anything else but him.

“It suits you.” He says softly, his head tilting slightly to the right as you share yet another long gaze.

“Well look who it is!” Wrecker laughs as he reaches the bottom of the stairs, startling you both and making you turn to look at the excited trooper. Omega follows him closely behind and seems surprised to see another clone at the bar. “Come here, Rex!” Wrecker says loudly as he moves past you and hugs the captain.

“I thought you didn’t like regs.” Omega questions with a tilt of her head but Wrecker merely laughs as he picks Rex up.

“This one we like.”

You chuckle to yourself at the look Rex sends your way before you move to stand by Echo.

“So… you and Rex are still a thing.” Echo states, keeping his voice low for the conversation to remain private. He glances to his right at you before taking a sip from his drink.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You smile as Rex kneels in front of Omega, speaking softly to her. He’s here, he’s alive.

“Oh, please. Everyone knew back then that the two of you had feelings for each other. Don’t tell me you’re still pretending you’re just friends.” Echo rolls his eyes when you look away guiltily. “I thought you would have said something by now.”

“It’s complicated, okay. There’s never any time.” You shrug, looking at the captain with longing –wishing things had been different back then.

Wrecker’s groan keeps Echo from saying anything else, and the way he clutches his head in pain makes a nervous shiver creep up the back of your neck. Rex stands up, and there’s weariness in his eyes. “What’s wrong?” His voice is low and controlled, assessing the trooper in front of him.

“Nothing it’s just a headache.” Wrecker dismisses Rex’s question, but you don’t miss the way Rex moves to stand protectively in front of Omega.

Echo speaks up next, “Which are becoming more frequent.”

This only intensifies Rex’s worry, shown in his furrowed eyebrows, while his right hand reaches for something at his side. You immediately know he’s reaching for one of his pistols. “Is that so?” Rex asks skeptically.

There’s a new tension in the room and even Omega is nervous by the sudden change. The relaxed mood and demeanour of the group is gone, and now everyone is in high alert. Rex glances at you before his left hand gently holds your forearm so he can slowly pull you behind him in a protective manner.

Tech goes on about the chips and how they’re not functional except for Crosshair’s case. But you know what Rex is thinking – it’s the same thing you’ve avoid thinking –Wrecker’s headache might be linked to the chip becoming functional.

Rex makes sure to shield both you and Omega as he addresses the group. “You’re telling me you haven’t removed your chips?”

“No.” Is all Tech says and the nonchalance in his tone strikes a nerve in the captain making you step closer to him.

“Rex it’s okay, we’re all fine. Nothing’s happened so far.”

But Rex’s demeanour has changed, he’s in battle mode now and you know it. He reaches for his pistol then, the blaster fully in display now, which prompts Hunter to try and mediate the situation and avoid any further escalation.

“Rex....” Hunter warns.

You know why Rex is so weary –he sounds almost scared. He must have witnessed soldiers with a fully functional chip too, just as you had, and that’s something that can shake up anyone. That, and the fact that you’re a Jedi, so you’re in danger as well as Omega should the chips activate. You had been alright so far, but Rex doesn’t let his guard down.

“Those chips make you a threat to everyone around you. To them.” He motions to you, his free hand grabbing your forearm protectively again before he motions to Omega. “Even her. You’re all ticking time bombs.”

When he doesn’t remove his hand from the pistol Hunter tries to calm him down again. “Take it easy, captain.” The Sargent holds out his hand as he speaks.

“Rex, it’ll be fine.” You try to reassure him, but when he looks back at you there’s concern pooling in his eyes.

“What’s in their heads is more dangerous than you can imagine.” He tells you before addressing the troopers. “I’ve seen what happens when the chip activates, and I don’t want to bury any more of our brothers, or Jedi.”

He looks at you again in the last part and you swallow thickly. Your mind takes you back to the day you escaped the clone troopers that had turned against you despite fighting for years by your side. The troopers that became your family.

“Trust me. It’s not something you can control.” There’s a pause where he looks away from the group. “I couldn’t.”

There’s a strong wave of distress, pain, and guilt coming off of Rex, all these things swimming in his mind. You place your hand on his shoulder wishing nothing more but to comfort him. “It wasn’t your fault, Rex.” You whisper.

Rex looks over his shoulder at you and his eyes soften, as if he needed to hear those words. Then he turns back to the troopers, his voice calmer but still hiding an urgent undertone.

“Hunter, this is a risk you don’t want to take.” He says finally and you see Omega is looking up at Rex nervously, he still has a hand on the pistol. Her weariness disappears quickly though, when he stands up straight again at the nod he receives from Hunter.

“How do you suggest we get them out?” Hunter says finally, seemingly convinced, and worried about Rex’s warning. He always looks out for his brothers.

“Good question. I need some answers first.” He nods. “I’ll be in touch.”

The Bad Batch nod their heads and you drop your hand from his shoulder. You gaze away from everyone as your heart starts to beat loudly with anxiety on your chest. He’s leaving again… you just found him and he’s leaving.

Rex speaks your name quietly, stopping your train of thought. “May I have a word with you?”

You meet his eyes once more and nod. “Always.”

The captain holds your shoulder gently as he walks to the two of you further away from the group, his voice stays low as he speaks. “I…uh wish you could come with me and not stay behind. Wrecker’s chip, it worries me, especially if you’re around him. But I don’t know where I’ll have to go to get this information. I’d hate it if anyone spots you or hurts you when you’re trying to lay low.”

“I’ll be fine, Rex, please don’t worry. I have been so far, no?” You raise an eyebrow, pretending your heart isn’t hurting at the thought of him leaving. You pointedly ignore how your chest flutters at his concern too, his tone reminding you of when you had to say goodbye before missions. “Besides I can defend myself should anything happen.”

“You know that if all the chips activate there’s a big chance you can get hurt. The kid too.” Rex furrows his eyebrows, his gaze leaves yours to look at the floor instead. “Of course, I worry, even if you can handle yourself. You’re okay, after everything that happened. I thought I lost you back then… I just don’t want it to happen for real.”

“I understand. You’re lying low too, and last thing you need is a Je- well someone like me with you…” You hold his face softly and his gaze back to yours. You smile, trying to ease his worry. “We’ll have their chips out in no time. It’ll all work out, just go, I’ll be okay.”

“Please take care.” He says seriously, stepping closer to you. His right hand reaches out but stops just before touching your face, like he changed his mind at the last minute. “Take care of the kid too. And if you need anything or anything happens you can find me on this comm channel.” He gently grabs your hand holding his face and inserts a code on your vambrace, he doesn’t let go when he’s done.

“You be careful too, Rex. Please.” Your thumb rubs the back of his hand, and he responds with a squeeze. It’s like neither of you want to let go, your hands clinging to each other in fear you won’t see the other again.

The captain gives you a small smile, his beautiful eyes showing so many emotions like you’ve never seen before. Emotions you know are mirrored in your own eyes. “I will. I hope to contact you soon.”

He nods at the rest of the Bad Batch before he lets go of your hand and walks to the door. He stops by the entrance and looks at you over his shoulder once last time before he finally goes up the stairs.

You keep your gaze in the doorway for a few more minutes before turning around. When you do, the Batch is staring at you, Tech and Wrecker seem confused, but Hunter and Echo give you knowing looks that have you looking away.

“What?” You try to ignore their staring as you sit by the bar.

“You like him!” Omega says smiling and taking a seat next to you.

You’re open your mouth to say something, but Echo takes a seat next to you and says your name in a matter-of-fact tone. “You’re in love with him and so is he. It’s pretty obvious.”

“Woah!” Wrecker gasps, jumping over the counter to stand in front of you. He leans his chin on both of his hands as he looks at you in wonder, headache forgotten. “You and Rex are together?”

You shake your head. “No, we’re not together.”

“But you don’t deny being in love with him.” Hunter says, leaning against the counter on your right side, behind Omega. “When did that happen?”

“It’s story time then.” You sigh, leaning your chin on your palm as you look at your friends staring at you expectantly. When Tech reaches the spot next to Wrecker who stands in front of you, you shake your head and tell them about you and the captain.

“Rex’s Legion worked with mine in many occasions. We worked really well together and in that grew a friendship.” You look down at the blue stone of your bracelet and smile. “We kept in touch even while in different missions, spent our days off together and our feelings just... sparked.”

You can’t think of a different word to describe how fast your feelings for the captain had developed. From stolen glances to laughing with him, it all led ultimately to you falling in love with Rex. His smile, his heart, the empathy and intelligence with which he spoke and acted, captivated your heart until you knew it would forever be his.

“We haven’t said anything, and nothing ever happened. I was a general, there was a war going on, so we pretended to be just friends in front of everyone. Which is technically what we were… we never acted upon our feelings.” Another sigh leaves your lips and you’re not sure when your vision has started to blur, but you shake your head to clear your thoughts and shrug at your friends.

“There’s no war now, you can tell him how you feel.” Omega says, placing a hand on your forearm.

“The kid’s right. We haven’t seen you smile so much before. Not like you did from the moment you saw Rex again.” Hunter speaks up too. “I think you two would benefit from being honest about your feelings.”

“I tried to tell them that!” Echo nudges your shoulder with him. “You make him happy.”

“You should tell him.” Omega repeats and you smile softly at her before looking down at the counter top.

“Perhaps.”

-----

The next time you see Rex is one rotation later, after he contacts and requests all of you to meet him in Bracca. You had given Echo the coordinates and anxiously waited next to him until your arrival while the rest of the crew watched Tech build an inhibitor chip scanner. Thankfully, wrecker’s chip hasn’t come online but the intensity of his headaches only keeps growing, which makes goosebumps appear on your arms whenever you think about it. It’s like flashbacks from Order 66 come back to you, memories of fleeing while your friends chased and shot at you. You stop the dark memories when you hear Echo say your name.

“Are you okay?” He asks with genuine concern. “You look troubled.”

You sigh and shake your head. “I’m alright. It’s just that this whole inhibitor chip thing reminds me of what happened the day the war ended.”

“You’re safe here, you know that.” His left hand reaches out to pat your shoulder. “No need to worry about Wrecker, he’ll be good as new soon.”

“I guess you’re right.” You shrug. “How much longer until we get to Bracca?”

“Shouldn’t take very long.” He says before he raises an eyebrow your way. “Why? ‘You excited to see Rex again.”

“Echo stop it.” You shake your head, but you decide to be honest with him. “But yes, I can’t believe he’s okay.”

There must be something about your tone when you tell Echo this that his gaze softens. “The two of you have been through a lot together. It was a given that you’d see each other again, fate keeps bringing you together.”

You chuckle and look out of the window. “Everything is so uncertain though.” The words are mumbled but Echo hears them.

He looks at you for a long moment before he stares straight ahead once more. “There will always be uncertainty, don’t let that stop you from doing what you want.” Is all he says, before announcing you’re dropping out of hyperspace.

The moment the Maurauder lands on Bracca, you can spot Rex’s ship and go down the hatch behind Hunter to meet the captain outside. He meets you halfway with a smile on his face and you stop on your tracks for a moment because of the lovely sight in front of you. The sun is bathing him in warmth, his eyes turning another beautiful shade of brown with it. You also can’t keep your heart from skipping a beat at the familiar sight of him in uniform, his helmet held by his side.

“Right on time.” Rex says shaking Hunter’s hand. “General.” He approaches you and offers a nod –you can’t help but to roll your eyes with a smile.

“The Jedi Order is no more Rex, you don’t have to call me General anymore.” You shrug looking into his eyes. “Besides, I like it better when you use my name.”

Rex chuckles at your words and scratches the back of his neck in a flustered manner. “It’s a habit I guess.”

“How is a junk planet gonna help us?” Wrecker asks when he approaches the group, making everyone look back at him first and then to Rex for the answer.

“Bracca may not be much to look at, but it has exactly what we need. Follow me.” The captain puts his helmet back on and starts to lead the way through the junk until you’re climbing what seems the underside of a wrecked ship, the height of the metal scrap gives you a perfect view of a Jedi Cruiser sitting in the distance.

“That is why we’re here.” Rex states, pointing at the cruiser. “I had my chip removed on a Jedi Cruiser just like that.”

“Then why did we land all the way over here?” Wrecker asks.

You ponder Wrecker’s question in your mind for a few seconds and conclude that there might be something or someone out there you must hide from. If you had flown the Marauder directly into the Jedi Cruiser, they would’ve notice you right away.

“Get down!” Hunter says, after spotting something in the distance. Everyone crouches to keep out of sight and Rex when you follow Hunter’s gaze you confirm what you had just concluded.

“That’s why.” Rex points at two scrappers standing on a platform. “Scrapper Guild, they control the entire planet.”

Nobody says anything else as you walk to the Jedi Cruiser with new resolve not to be spotted. The familiar sight brings fresh memories to mind, the old briefings, the trooper fights in the cafeteria, that you may or may not have aided, and the missions with the captain currently leading the way. As you get closer to the ship, Rex tells Omega about its model and how it was one of the first ever produced, which amazes the young clone. This seems to entertain Wrecker as well who can’t help but joke about Rex’s shared information.

“First of the line, just like you. Huh Rex?” The trooper chuckles at his own joke and you shake your head, walking along until you catch up with Rex.

“I trust you mission went smoothly?” You ask him, squinting your eyes at the sun.

The captain’s helmet looks your way for a second before it tilts to the side as he shrugs –a body language you’re familiar with. “You could say that. It wasn’t easy but I got the information I needed.”

You remember the pain and guilt that came off him in waves back at the bar and you frown. Unsure of what he went through but remembering what he mentioned about not burying anymore of his brothers, you doubt the captain is as calm and collected as he appears on the outside. So you ask, “And how are you?”

Rex sighs, “Life… is different now, being on the run, but I’ll get used to it. What’s most important now is to make sure the Empire doesn’t get away with what they did to us, to the Jedi…” He straightens his shoulders and looks ahead but you know him, the foundation of what he fought for just crumbled to the ground one day and it must have affected him more than he leads on.

“How did you find out about the chips?” You ask trying to change the subject for the time being. The last thing you want is to rub salt on a fresh wound. You have plenty of those yourself.

“Fives tried to warn me about the chips, but I didn’t understand at the time.” He shakes his head and looks over to Echo who has fallen into step next to the two of you.

“It’s still hard to believe now.” Echo tells Rex, and you know he’s trying to let Rex know that it’s okay if he didn’t either when Fives told him, something you know Rex would hate himself for– even now. You give Echo a comforting smile, placing your hand on his shoulder at the mention of his close friend.

Everyone reaches the cruiser without another word, and as all of you wander through debris filled hallways, Echo and Rex talk about how he got his chip out. You listen in silence, staying alert of your surroundings while still going over the thoughts circling your mind. You remember Rex leaving with to Mandalore Ahsoka– that was the last time you saw him– and you wonder if Ahsoka helped him with the chip removal. If she did, you hope she’s alive so you can thank her if you ever get the chance. The conversation dies once again when you reach the end of the hallway, as it is divided in half by a chasm leading towards murky water.

“The medical bay is on the other end.” Rex says before he spots a long cable to his right. He looks at you then, and when your eyes meet, you get an idea of what he’s thinking. “Wrecker grab that cable.”

“Why? Wha-What are you going to do with it?” The trooper asks nervously, and you sympathize with his fear of heights. He won’t like this plan.

“We have to cross to the other side.” You say, taking the cable and calling on the Force to jump across to the other part of the hallway. You secure the cable on your side while the others do so on theirs before everyone starts to cross.

Rex is the first one, followed by Hunter, Echo, Tech, and Omega. Wrecker is the last one, and very hesitant to cross but Omega’s encouragement seems to convince him to get on the cable. The problem though is that the cable isn’t strong enough and it comes loose on one side. Suddenly, Wrecker is hanging in the air his foot caught on the cable while something else stirs on the water.

“Are you alright?” Hunter asks, his voice worried at the sight of bubbles coming from the bottom of the water.

“No! It smells awful down here.” Comes Wrecker’s response a beat later.

The bubbles seem to become larger before they completely disappear. “I have a bad feeling about this.” You say, growing at the water. There’s eerie silence that follows, before a creature with teeth and tentacles tries to get a hold of Wrecker.

“PULL!” Omega says, shining her flashlight at Wrecker, before grabbing a hold of the cable to help the rest of you pull.

You use all your strength to pull him up, but the he creature takes him under the water, making all of you fall to your knees. Worried about Wrecker, you do the only thing that comes to your mind, you jump and dive in to help him. The water is cold against your skin, the temperature shocking your body before you focus on trying to see Rex under the murky water. Once you spot him, you use your lightsaber to cut him loose from the creature before the two of you grab the cable and emerge with a gasp.

“Climb!” You tell him, and he nods, beginning his ascent with the help of this brothers at the top. You follow suit, trying to get as far away from the water as possible.

Once you reach the hallway at the top you collapse on the ground for a moment, breathing heavily as the adrenaline in your body starts to lower.

“Are you two okay?” Hunter asks you, worry in his voice.

“We’re fine.” Wrecker tells his brother, and the response makes some tension leave the Sergeant’s shoulders.

“Makes you miss battling clankers doesn’t it.” Rex jokes and you can’t help to chuckle as you stand up.

“You can say that again.” You tell him, before everyone continues to the medical bay that is straight ahead.

“This will do nicely.” Rex says, shinning his flashlight around and finding a lot of medical equipment lying around.

“I wouldn’t call this med bay a sterile environment.” Tech mumbles, spotting tiny creatures on the walls and rust everywhere.

“Do you prefer to use the one on kamino?” Rex asks sarcastically and you nudge his elbow with yours, to keep him from saying anything else. Tech was only observing, of course he’ll comment on how dirty the room is for a surgery.

“Hey…” You reprimand Rex softly and he chuckles.

Tech stands up straighter at Rex’s question, knowing no good would come from the Kaminoan facility. Only your capture or execution. “This will do nicely.” Tech says, changing his mind about the salubrity of the place.

Everyone starts to settle into the room after that, Hunter placing Wrecker’s gear on one side of the room and Echo bringing all systems back on like for the surgery. Tech keeps himself preoccupied with his scanner, putting it near Wrecker’s to know the exact location of the chip.

While he does this, you can see Omega is being troubled by something. She approaches Hunter to let her concerns be known. “Hunter, just because the surgery worked on Rex, doesn’t mean it’s safe.” She holds her arms around herself, looking for some sort of comfort. “This is dangerous.”

You approach her and so does Rex, who’s the one who speaks up next. “It’s more dangerous to leave the chips in.” He says and puts his helmet down. Meanwhile you sigh, either of the two options make Omega nervous, she’s worried about her family.

Hunter places a hand on her shoulder, his eyes honest and open to her worries. “We have to do this. It’s worth the risk.”

You step closer to her crouching to be at her height level and be able to put your arm around her. “And what if it’s dangerous?” Omega asks. “I would be left here with no one.”

The young girl looks away, her eyes are starting to glaze over with tears at the thought of losing the Bad Batch, the ones who took her in. Omega is looking for reassurance from Hunter, not you, so you stay quiet and rub your hand up and down her arm for comfort. The sergeant seems to ponder his next words before his eyes leave no room for further question as he says:

“We’re not going anywhere Omega.” His hand finds its way back to her shoulder. “You’re stuck with us for the long run.”

You smile softly at the two of them before you stand up and see Rex looking at the scene in front of him with a pleased smile on his face. The captain is probably surprised to see this softer side of Hunter, that Echo had mentioned before started when Omega became part of the Bad Batch.

“Get that away from me.” You hear Wrecker complain as Tech continues to scan him, and his anger starts to be felt through the Force. It makes you frown.

“Something’s happening.” Omega says, eyebrows furrowed at the look in Wrecker’s face.

“We need to speed things up and you have to go somewhere else.” Rex tells you, his eyes scanning your face and finding clear worry in your features. “You’ve all been lucky so far, very few clones were immune to the effects of Order 66.”

Hunter sighs as he leaves Wrecker with Tech and walks with Rex to where Echo is prepping the machine. “When the regs attacked the Jedi General on Kaller, we didn’t understand why. But at least we helped the padawan escape.”

You see Wrecker clutch his head in pain, his groans becoming more frequent as the Hunter and Rex speak. You sense anger and fear coming off Wrecker, both of them conflicting over each other as if he’s fighting back the chip’s command. Your eyes widen then, and you address Hunter and Rex when you speak.

“You should stop talking, it’s making things worse for Wrecker.” You grimace when you feel his pain through the Force, it’s sharp, like an open wound just above your ear. You need to help him, now.

“How much longer until everything’s ready?” You ask worriedly.

“Not much longer.” Says Echo, tapping the controls next to a machine for a couple more seconds. “Done.”

But it’s too late, Wrecker had become quiet a few seconds before and when he speaks up again he doesn’t sound like himself.

“You’re in direct violation of order 66.” All of you stand there in shock as Wrecker seizes Tech by the neck, his pupils dilated and a terrifying look on his face. When he throws Tech against a wall, who crumples to the ground, all of you switch to battle mode.

You’re about to reach for your lightsaber when Rex turns to you, keeping you out of sight. “You have to go somewhere else before he sees you.” His eyes are full of fear and though it hurts, you shake your head no.

“He already knows, I’m here. We have to help him.” You say, looking behind Rex’s shoulder just in time to see Wrecker aim his blaster at the rest of you. “Get down!”

All of you dive behind a piece of metal that had fallen from the ceiling, Hunter holding Omega close to him to keep her from getting hurt. Three shots barely miss you and Echo who’s crouching on your left.

“He’s going to destroy the equipment!” Echo tells the five of you, reading his own pistol. As Wrecker continues to shoot the room, you realize that he’s right and if he keeps blasting the equipment, none of the clones will be able to get their chips out.

With a deep breath you summon the bravery your known for, the best option is to draw him out, and who better to do that than yourself. You stand up.

“Hey!” You yell and ignite your lightsaber. The green light floods the dark room as you speak. “You want to kill a Jedi, huh? Come and get me then!”

You use your saber to deflect the blaster shots Wrecker sends your way as you run out of the medical bay. Deciding to put some distance between Wrecker and the room, you turn left at the doorway.

“No!” You hear Rex calling your name. If you had told him what you were planning to do first, he would have objected. Now you’re certain he’s going to be coming after you, always willing to help.

As you keep deflecting blaster shots and using your speed to your advantage, you hear the troopers come running behind the two of you. Wrecker is relentless in his chase, grabbing anything he can and throwing it your way to slow or knock you down. Whichever works best you suppose. One of those objects though end up being a hug metal beam that was sticking out from a wall, which Wrecker is quick to grab and send it flying your way.

Sensing this though you turn around and call of the Force to stop it. The piece of metal is suspended in the air for a moment before you push it towards Wrecker, knocking him down and buying you some time. You duck behind some debris, and peak through a space in between them when you hear the trooper stand up again.

It is then that you spot Rex behind Wrecker’s shoulder, he seems to be planing something with Echo. When you meet his gaze, he nods, and you get an idea of his plan. You leap out of your hiding place and run towards Wrecker, at the last minute you duck and slide under his legs–nearly missing being grabbed by him. The result is what you were hoping for, you got him to look over in Rex’s direction.

You see movement behind Wrecker again and realize that Echo circled the medical bay to approach him from the back. The Bad Batcher, however, spots Echo and uses all his strength to send him flying towards you and Rex– who stuns his friend instead of Wrecker and falls limply to the floor. The force with which you were knocked down leaves no air in your lungs for a moment and you feel your arm sting from a long cut you got from a piece of metal.

Wrecker looms over the three of you, and you try to reach for your lightsaber to defend your friends but it’s nowhere in sight. You’re about to reach for Rex’s pistol when Hunter jumps on Wrecker and tries to help you by keeping him in a chokehold. Wrecker’s strength is quick to overpower his, and soon enough Hunter is being chocked by his mind-controlled brother. As Hunter clutches at his neck desperately, trying to loosen Wreckers’ grip, there’s a sound of a blaster shot going off. It’s not from Rex’s pistol you’re holding but from a gun Omega has taken a hold of.

Her face turns into a scared expression the moment Wrecker starts running after her–all four of you forgotten for the time being. You ignore the pain in your arm and sit up, checking on the Echo and Rex who seem okay but still unconscious.

“You’ll be fine.” You whisper to Rex, leaving his pistol by his hand and seeing your lightsaber a couple of feet away. You use the Force to bring it to your hand before looking back to the three men lying unconscious on the floor. “Hang on boys, I have to save Omega.”

With that you take off running in the same direction as Wrecker and Omega, and as you round a corner you see that Wrecker is inside what seems like old living quarters. He is moving things around, looking for the young clone, who he finds hiding under another piece of metal. You run towards them then, Wrecker unable to see you because he’s got his back turned to you, blaster pointed at Omega. Your heartbeat is erratic as you step in front of him putting his sole attention on you and not Omega.

You see his finger about to trigger the blaster and call on the Force to keep him from moving. He yells in frustration at not being able to shoot his blaster but still tries to, making you use all your strength to hold him back. “This is your family Wrecker! Your friends! No chip can change that, you need to fight it.”

“Good soldiers follow orders.” He mutters as he fights the Force, and when you can’t hold him back any longer he yells and forcefully tries to take a step closer to you, making you lose your focus and fall backwards.

Omega yells your name when Wrecker raises his blaster once more, ready to shoot you, but in that moment he’s stunned and falls to the floor. You lift your gaze from Wrecker to the doorway and find Rex standing the clutching his head, and his pistol raised in the stunned Bad Batcher direction.

You sit there, heart beating loudly and hands shaking. Wrecker almost shot you and you almost died had it not been for Rex. You look at him with wide eyes and he must see the fear in them because he’s rushing forward in a heartbeat. He approaches the place where you and Omega are currently sitting in shock and kneels in front of Omega first.

“Are you hurt?” He asks, looking over the kid’s face, searching for any sign of injury. When Omega shakes her head no and crawls over to where Wrecker is lying on the floor, he brings his attention back to you.

Rex’s hands gently take a hold your face, his eyes scanning all your features almost as if he’s making sure you’re really there in front of him. Your eyes begin to water at the utter relief you see in his eyes, your heart bursting with love for him.

“Thank you.” You whisper, it’s so quiet you’re not sure he hears it. But he does. Rex wipes one of your tears away and closes the distance between both of you.

His lips touch yours and it’s like everything falls into place and disappears all at once. You’re so relieved to be alive and so caught up in the love you can feel coming off him, that everything around you disappears for just a second. It’s a short and desperate press of lips, the two of you looking for some reassurance and getting to say things you can’t with words. A few seconds later, Rex pulls away.

“That was an incredibly reckless and terrible plan. Are you okay?” His voice trembles the tiniest bit, giving away just how nervous he had been to see you stand in front of Wrecker, ready to receive a blaster shot.

“Yeah.” You whisper looking into his eyes but then you remember your arm. “Well, no. I think I’m bleeding.”

“Your arm!” Omega gasps, kneeling next to you and looking at Rex with worry.

The captain follows your gaze, and his eyes widen at the sight of the long gash on your arm. “We need to take care of this.” He says –his voice is serious, and he frowns when you shake your head.

“We have to help Wrecker, first.” You insist. “This can wait. Come on, let’s get him back to the med bay.”

The two of you take one of Wrecker’s arms, throwing it over your shoulders and holding his weight to get him out of the room and back to the operating table. Omega leads the way, looking back at her friend worriedly every few seconds. As you reach the doorway you meet Hunter and Echo who are now awake and help you the rest of the way. Tech has resumed his post in front of the controls, most likely readying the machine for the surgery.

“I’ve just brought the systems back online. You can put him on the table now.” He says, and you don’t miss the way he glances nervously towards Wrecker. Everyone is worried about their friend, the ray of sunshine of the group who turned into a completely different person by a tiny chip. You bite your lips with worry when the machine starts to work and are brought out of your own head by Rex’s gentle touch on your shoulder.

“Let’s get this cleaned up, yeah?”

You nod, and move to sit on a crate while Rex gets bandages, cleaning wipes and bacta cream, Echo had in his backpack. You look at the cut once more, it has stopped bleeding but it stings when you move it.

When Rex comes back he sits in front of you and you notice the way he doesn’t meet your eyes. “May I?” He asks, gesturing to your arm which he takes when you nod your head yes.

His hold is gentle while he works. He takes a wipe to begin disinfecting the wound which draws a hiss from your lips. Rex grimaces before apologizing, resuming his work with furrowed eyebrows. You see his eyes try to meet yours but him tearing his gaze away before he’s able to look at you and you frown. You know that look, his tense posture and the frown on his lips. He’s blaming himself and you won’t stand for it.

“Rex?” You ask softly and he stops his work for a second before resuming. “Stop it, it’s not your fault.” You chastise him gently, you know what his attitude means. He’s thinking of all the possible ways he could have prevented you getting hurt and hating himself for it.

“It doesn’t matter, I hate seeing you hurt.” He sighs, taking the bacta patch and securing it over the wound before wrapping the bandage around your arm.

“Would you at least look at me?” You ask smiling at his stubbornness. There’s a second of silence before he finally meets your eyes. “Only you would blame yourself for a cut in my arm after saving my life, Rex.”

He chuckles, not helping it, at teasing smile on your face. “I just want you safe.” His hand reaches out to cup your cheek, his thumb rubbing it softly.

“And I am.” You say and motion your arm. “I’m also patched up too, thanks to you.”

The captain chuckles again and brings his hand back to his side. He seems calmer now, with less tension on his shoulders.

“Is it supposed to take this long?” Echo asks Rex, bringing you two back to the present.

Rex stands up and offers you a hand which you take to stand up too. Then, Rex let’s go and moves to stand next to echo by the table. “I’m not sure. I’ve never been on this end of the surgery.”

You go to stand next to Omega, who has a worried look on her face as the procedure goes on. You place a hand on her shoulder and offer a smile. “He’ll be okay.”

It doesn’t take any longer than 2 minutes for Tech to announce that the surgery was complete and successful. However, when it takes Wrecker longer to wake up the Bad Batch gets anxious, worried about their friend’s vital signs. Rex tries to tell Hunter to take Omega upstairs to get some air but just as you’re about to shake your head, Omega refuses to leave Wrecker’s side. The two of them are almost inseparable, you know she will wait for as long as it takes her friend to wake up.

Knowing this family needs some time to be together as they wait by Wrecker, you bump your shoulder against Rex’s to get his attention.

“Can we talk?” You ask him, motioning to the door with your head.

The captain smiles, copying the same answer you gave him back at Cid��s bar. “Always.”

You return his smile with one of your own, which turns shy when it’s only the two of you heading out of the door and towards another corridor for privacy. You have to tell him, you’ve wanted to for a long time and now your heart is desperately telling you to be honest be brave and love him openly, and let yourself be loved. Times of uncertainty shouldn’t hold you back they should help you make the leap, if youre not promised tomorrow then you’ll live for today. When you speak up, your voice is quiet but full of pent up emotion ready to burst.

“Rex, there are many things I want to talk about but this is what I need to say first…”

The look in his eyes brings some tears to your eyes, concern, and love in the beautiful brown that its unique to you.

“I was so sad because of everything I lost, I believed to have lost you. I couldn’t handle knowing that I never told you I love you. Because I do, beyond I can put into words. I… I’m so glad you’re okay and here with me.” You let your tears fall, and your smile takes over your face. Now he knows for sure and that’s all you’ve wanted.

You see him process all your words, eyes showcasing a flurry of emotions, until he reaches out and brings you close to him in a tight hug. It’s impossible not to sink into his embrace, much like you did back at that bar, your arms holding him close to you. Like part of you thinks he’s going to disappear.

You don’t think you’ll ever forget the way he whispers I love you in your ear or the way his lips move against your cheek as he speaks softly. “I’ve wanted to tell you for so long but I– well I didn’t think the time was right until… until I thought you died and realized the right time had always been there.”

“It’s alright, we’re both alright.” You whisper shaking your head against his shoulder.

“Yes, I guess we are.” The captain says, pulling back just enough to look into your eyes. When they meet, they’re both glazed over with emotion and when your eyes drift down to his lips he doesn’t hesitate to lean in and press them to yours.

This time, the kiss is slow, not solely out of reassurance but also out of love and want. What you’ve both waited for, to show, to say and to feel, the reaffirmation of a love that seems to endure even the hardest challenges. Your hands go from his shoulders to his hair, where you let your touch go over the scar on the left side of his temple– the reminder that he’s complete himself now. When you pull away, you let your lips steal one more kiss, a soft laugh escaping you. Rex chuckles before speaking once more.

“Would you come with me? Once we help them.” His forehead is against yours, as the words are whispered between the both of you. A wave of anxiousness comes from him, and you hear it in his voice as well. He thinks you might reject his proposal, as if your heart wouldn’t shatter the second the two of you part. “I know you think it’s dangerous for me to be with you, but I want you by my side whatever the danger may be.”

He’s right, only a rotation ago you were thinking of the danger you put everyone in because you’re a rogue Jedi. You were willing to go live on your own and work for Cid to make ends meet, all so that everyone else can be safe. But that was before you knew Rex was alive, and before you realized that the danger is worth it if you get to be together. There is no time to waste, especially not with the claws of the Empire trying to grab you anywhere you go.

“Yes.” You whisper back. “Of course, I’ll go with you.”

Rex’s smile is blinding when you both take a small step back, and his hand stays in yours on your way back to the med bay. Wrecker’s just woken up and the relief of everyone in the room and in your chest is so big it brings fresh tears to your eyes.

“One down, three more to go.” Rex smiles, holding up Tech’s scanner.

The rest of the surgeries go as smoothly as the first, and you roll your eyes jokingly at Echo when he comments how it was about time– he spotted you and Rex holding hands. Once everyone is almost ready to leave, except for Hunter who had gone upstairs to get some air with Rex, you address the friends that have become a small family to you in a short time.

“Guys, I have something to tell you…” You fiddle with your fingers looking down at them before bringing you gaze back to them. There’s a lump forming in your throat, even though going with Rex is something you really want. “Rex, he offered me to go with him and I said yes. So it’s time to say goodbye I guess.”

Your vision blurs as you look from one trooper to another, when it lands on Echo and he gives you an encouraging smile, you break. Taking three steps towards him you put your arms around your friend, someone who’s become a real support from the first time you met. A brother.

Echo hugs you back and there’s a small smile on his face. “We’ll miss you but you two belong together, good luck.”

You wipe your tears and nod. “I’ll miss you too. So much.”

Wrecker gives you a crushing hug which you gladly return, glad to have him back. All laughs and good times. Tech hugs you too much to your surprise before Omega takes a hold of your hand.

“Will we see you again?” She asks. There are tears in her eyes and similar ones appear on yours.

“Of course you will.” You say softly, crouching in front of her. “This goodbye isn’t forever. I’d miss you too much.”

Omega nods before hugging you, her arms going around your shoulders. “Goodbye.”

When you let go and look back at the group, you wipe away your tears and give them a final nod. “Whatever you need, you let me know.”

With that you make your way to the south exit where Hunter and Rex stand, saying their own goodbyes. You smile at the carefree look on Rex’s face, he’s more relaxed now, happier, even though you sense much grief in him.

“Stay out of trouble Captain.” Hunter says, offering Rex his hand which he takes and shakes.

“Funny. I was going to say the same thing.” Rex teases back before letting go of the Sergeant’s hand and spotting you. “Ready to go?”

“Ready as ever.” You smile and then look at Hunter. The one who let you join the Bad Batch and offered you shelter. “Thank you Hunter, for everything.”

“That’s what family is for.” Hunter nods, and then becomes surprised when you hug him. You feel a wave of gratitude coming off of him. “You need anything, you know how to find us.”

“And you know how to find us.” You step back and return his nod.

Rex comes to stand next to you, his helmet back on his head. It brings memories of old times and you can’t help a big smile from appearing on your face again.

“Where are we off to now?” You ask Rex, your hand finding his like a magnet.

Though you can’t see his face you hear the smirk on his voice as he starts to lead the way. “You’ll see, love.”

So you follow him, down into the fog and all the way back to his ship where you know new adventures await you.

#captain rex #captain rex x reader #rex x reader #captain rex x gn reader #captain rex x Jedi!reader #captain rex imagine

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jaceyneedsabetterusername · 3 years

Text

Hayloft (p.2)

Pairing: Arvin Russell x F!Reader

Summary: Your dad brings home his new coworker, Arvin Russell, telling you that he’ll be living with the two of you for a while. While attempting to keep Arvin from seeing the disfunction of your relationship with your father, the two of you grow closer than you thought. (Inspired by “Hayloft” by Mother Mother, though that’ll really only be one chapter later on so I don’t know if it really counts…)

Warnings: Abuse, drunkenness, misogyny, reader’s mother is dead, decapitating a chicken, reader is kind of emotional in this chapter

Word Count: 4.2k

A/N: My first slow(er) burn fic! Let me know what you think!

Part 1

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Work had passed fairly quickly as it always did when you had the opening shift. It sure sucked having to arrive at five o’clock in the morning but at least you got off earlier and you knew that that way you could grab groceries before your father got home and could yell at you about an empty kitchen again. By two o’clock in the afternoon, you were home again, hopping out of your truck and grabbing as many bags as you could in one go.

The loud sound of metal slamming against metal shook you and you flinched, looking between your door and the frame to see Arvin walking out towards you. It hadn’t occurred to you that his car was even in your driveway. After so many years of having busted broken down old cars sitting there that your dad had been swearing he’d fix for almost ten years, cars in the driveway seemed normal. “Let me give you a hand,” he offered as he got closer, lifting the canvas bags from your hands before you could object.

“Oh!” You exclaimed as you felt the weight suddenly taken off your own arms, “Thank you.” You dove back into the truck to grab the last two bags before slamming it shut with your hips. The two of you began your stroll towards the front door, the dirt driveway kicking up around your feet. “You’re back early.” You noted, looking over at Arvin.

He shrugged, “Yeah, uh, Wallace had me on the early shift today.”

You fumbled with the bags as you tried to unlock the door, kicking it open with your toes when it finally gave in. You walked into your home and Arvin followed, closing the door behind him. “Been here long? I didn’t see you in the driveway.”

“Not too long. I just didn’t want to let myself into your home without nobody there.” Arvin set the bags on the counter next to where you set yours.

You began to unpack the bags and put the groceries in the respective places. Arvin watched off to the side, unsure of how your kitchen was organized so he was worried he’d do more than good if he stepped in. “My daddy got the late shift?”

Arvin shook his head, noticing that his beat up old hat was still on his head despite being indoors and took it off immediately, his tousled brown curls parting messily down the middle. “No, we went in at the same time. He ‘n some buddies said they was goin’ to some bar in town.”

He watched your shoulders fall a little and you sighed, “Figures…. You didn’t go?”

Again, Arvin shook his head, “No. No offense to your daddy but I don’t like to drink the way I get the feelin’ he does.”

You snorted, turning to him with a knowing chuckle, “Let’s just say that I’m sorry in advance for whatever he says or does when he gets home, if he gets home. Sheriff Pike might end up callin’ in the mornin’ tellin’ us to pick him up.” Though it was stated as a joke, Arvin could hear the tragic reality behind your words.

Arvin then noticed the pack of beer bottles that you were pulling out of the bag. As if you could feel his eyes looking at you with worried curiosity, you glanced over at him, noticing the way his eyes flicked between you and the beer in your hands. You offered a sad shrug, “I know what you’re thinkin’ but trust me. Sometimes it’s better to have him drunk and possibly content than sober and angry there’s nothing to drink. Besides, the beer is better than the hard stuff with ‘im.”

“‘M sorry. I didn’t mean to be makin’ faces. Your business is your business,” Arvin backpedalled, giving you an apologetic nod.

You shook your head, “Don’t worry. I know how it looks. I’m sorry you gotta see all of it. I been tryin’ to keep to keep him calm but if you end up stayin’ a while, I’m sure you’ll get to see him at his worse times.”

Arvin chewed his lip as he contemplated whether or not to bring up what had been going through his mind but he had to make sure you were alright. “I-I heard you ‘n your dad talkin’ last night… right after you left my room.”

Your face fell as you realized what he was talking about, “You weren’t s’posed to hear that. I’m sorry.” Shit, this was what you were hoping to avoid.

“Are you alright?”

Gentle. Caring. His tone was something that had been long lost to you in this house and it took the words out of your mouth for a moment. It was embarrassing, the way your heart welled up with… well love wasn’t quite the right word but the warmth of being cared about. Not since after your mother had passed had you heard somebody actually care about how you felt.

You just nodded and gave a forced smile that you could tell was easy to see through but it was the best you could muster. For someone who was able to take so much shit from their father and was able to look the man who would throw things at you and grab you by the hair dead in the eye with nothing but contempt, it was compassion that made you crumble. It had been so unexpected, especially from Arvin, the stranger living in your house.

“Shit, ‘m sorry! I didn’t mean to - I didn’t mean to overstep. I only…” He stammered over his words and at first you were confused until you felt the single hot tear tracing its way down your cheek.

You were quick to wipe it away, shocked at your own uncharacteristic show of vulnerability. You hadn’t realized until now that you had zoned out on the ground while Arvin’s words repeated in your head but now a flash of embarrassment ran through you. “No, no, no. I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” You sniffled once before giving a small laugh of disbelief. “It’s just… It’s been a long time since anybody asked that.”

You straightened up and ran your hands through your hair, eyes closed as you thought of what else you needed to do. Thankfully, if your dad was at the bar, you had at least another four hours to just you and Arvin, all night if you were lucky, though you seldom were. That was when the feeling of dread set in. Your dad had requested chicken roast for dinner tonight and whether he came home early and only a few beers in or you had to drive him home hungover in the morning, the man would be furious if there weren’t at least reheated leftovers for him. You had to kill Patty and prep her for dinner.

“You okay?” Arvin asked again, though this time it was in reference to the way a heavy look fell over your features. It wasn’t a profound deep question like it was earlier.

Your head wavered from side to side and your lips twisted, “My daddy asked for chicken roast tonight. I gotta go out and fix Patty up.” You tried to put it lightly though it felt anything but. “I’ll be out in the coop. You’re more than welcome to clean up in the shower or do whatever you’d like ‘round the house. The radio is in the livin’ room if you wanna tune into somethin’.”

You pushed yourself off the counter and walked to the door in your kitchen that led out to the backyard but Arvin made a few steps to follow, “Is it alright if I keep you company? It don’t feel right bein’ in your house without you or your daddy here.”

You smiled at the thought of him staying with you and you nodded, continuing out the door, “Sure, c’mon.”

The hen house wasn’t very far from the back door. From there, you could see the several acres of land that your father was wasting. Your grandparents had bought this land in the late 1910’s and had started up a little farm of their own to sell locally, though your father had abandoned the farming portion after they died. It was where your daddy had grown up and then where you had as well. God, how you missed your grandparents. Your grandmother’s soft words of love and kindness but sternness and willingness to swat your butt with a wooden spoon if you got an attitude (though she would yell at your father if he ever tried to discipline you - “Now you leave that poor baby alone!”). Your grandfather had looked like a rough and angry old man from years of hard work but he had the softest heart of anyone you’d ever met. How the two of them had raised your father was beyond you.

When you approached the wired fence and jiggled the lock open, the chickens inside stood surprisingly still. They trusted you. You could see it in their little brown eyes. You were safe and warm and didn’t want to harm them. You came in for the unfertilized eggs they laid and left, oftentimes with some seed and a soft pat or two on the head. Patty, a fat white hen with black specks, walked comfortably around your feet, nuzzling her head against your leg. She was the nicest hen you’d ever had. She trusted you.

God, you were about to cry again. You bent down to pick her up and you held her against your chest, trying to look her in the eye, though it was difficult when she kept jerking it in different directions. “I can’t tell you how sorry I am,” you murmured low. Usually it was your father that would slaughter the hens if he really wanted the meat that badly. You had never done it yourself but he’d made you watch every time so that you knew how if the time ever came. Each time it made you sick to your stomach.

Already, you felt green. The unassuming hen that you had been friendly enough to for her not flip out when you held her was none the wiser that her life was about to end by your hand. You glanced over to the large wood round just ahead and the axe that was leaned up against it.

Your face contorted as you realized how much you disliked the placement. The way your father would slaughter chickens right in front of their friends made your heart break. It was barbaric.

You walked over to Arvin and held Patty out towards him, “Would you mind holdin’ onto her for a second?”

Though visibly confused, he took the chicken from your hands, drawing back when her wings fluttered out at the contact with the new strange man. Arvin watched as you walked towards the large round and tried to push it with all your might. “What’re you doin’?”

“I’m-” you grunted, feeling it slide slowly, inch by inch, “trying to move it where the other chickens can’t see.” You took another moment to use all your force against it before standing up straight and breathing heavily, “I know it sounds dumb cause they’re only chickens but it feels cruel to make ‘em watch, y’know?” You went back to pushing the round and Arvin approached behind you.

From here he could see the blood stains in the wood. It looked as if the blood had been washed off but the wood had been stained crimson regardless. There was also a divot where an axe had clearly been driven down many times over the years, chipping away at the wood.

Arvin’s heart actually warmed a little at your attempt to show mercy and your willingness to go out of your way to spare some chickens’ feelings. It wasn’t something he was sure he’d do himself but when he heard you say it, he realized you had a point. It was cruel to imprison a bunch of animals and then lead them out one by one to be slaughtered in front of everyone, each animal waiting their turn. “Here, take ‘er back. Let me.” Arvin stepped in, handing Patty back over to you and bending down to lift the round onto its side with much effort. The wood had to weigh at least a hundred pounds and had long since settled into the ground where it had been placed when you were a child.

Your eyes widened as you watched his biceps bulge, straining the material of his blue t-shirt. You’d never seen a man with muscles like that before and you found your eyes trailing along his arms, following every popping vein from the tops of his hands, up his forearms, and onto his biceps until they disappeared beneath his shirt. It was something you hadn’t expected to see in him. Arvin looked like a quiet, polite, hardworking young man but you never would have imagined the immaculate muscles he possessed. You found your mind wandering to what other surprises laid in store beneath all those layers he wo-

You needed to calm yourself down. If only he could hear your thoughts, he surely would be furious and disgusted with you. You hadn’t had such impure thoughts since that one time you had been messing around with Jimmy Bates in the backseat of his old car back in your senior year of high school. The two of you didn’t even go all the way but you went far enough and the guilt ate you alive since the two of you were never officially together anyways. He was just the cute boy from high school that you had pined over years that had finally given you the chance right before he shipped off to join the war.

“This alright?” Arvin asked, shaking you from your fantasy, and you snapped back into reality to realize he had rolled the wood round around the side of the coop behind the wooden wall, outside of the other chickens’ views.

You nodded and walked over to him, “That’s perfect. Thank you so much for doin’ that. I know it’s sorta stupid.”

Arvin shook his head, putting his hands on his hips, “If it means somethin’ to you, it ain’t stupid at all. Besides, now that you pointed it out, it was a little barbaric.”

You smiled up at him, one which he returned. How was this boy so damn nice? Was this some cosmic way of the universe finally giving you something good in your life? You’d become so calloused to your father’s harsh words and barked commands that you had forgotten how nice it was to feel cared about and validated. And you barely knew him.

“‘M glad you think so.” You looked down at Patty in your arms and any good feelings you’d had melted to sadness and fear. “You been a good girl, Patty. I know you struggled with layin’ eggs for a while but you were always a good girl. Never bit me once unlike some of them other hens.” You weren’t often very soft and vulnerable but you were about to take something’s life for the first time and you couldn’t help but feel the weight of that on your heart. If this were a life or death situation, you would feel better about it, but it wasn’t. The only reason Patty had to die was because your father would throw a fit if she didn’t.

You carried her to the log and gave her a little kiss on the top of the head, “Please don’t hate me but I understand if you do. Say hi to my momma for me, will you? Tell her I love and miss her.” You set her down and got her in the position you always saw your dad put the other chickens in before he chopped their heads off. Arvin handed you the axe with uncertainty but watched on as you struggled to bring yourself to finish the deed.

You held her down and you could tell by the way she was flailing that she was panicking now. Patty was well aware of what was happening. “I’m sorry!” You choked, tears welling up in your eyes as her panic began to turn into your own panic. How did people do this? Why was this so freaking difficult?

Tossing the axe slightly in your hand, you readjusted the handle and just as you went to swing, Arvin piped up, “I can do it.”

You looked over at him, the afternoon sun reflecting the tears in your eyes and making the color of your irises stand out in tragic beauty. “I-I- Would you really not mind?” You breathed out in relief.

Arvin stepped forward and you handed the axe out to him, “I don’t mind.” You held onto Patty until Arvin could position her just right as well. He had no idea what he was doing - he’d never had to slaughter a chicken before. He had heard that all you had to do was cut their head off though and then he’d heard the rumors of them running around like crazy even after their head hit the ground. How hard could it be?

Once he had the hen pinned down where he wanted her, he looked up to see you chewing on your thumb, brows knitted in discomfort. It wasn’t the first chicken you’d watched get slaughtered but it was far from something you enjoyed observing. Arvin signaled to you with a nod before raising the axe above his head and you shut your eyes tight, flinching at the sound of the old metal head thudding into the old wood.

You had the carcass sitting in the sink while you pulled off the blood soaked feathers, depositing them into the trash bin by the handful. This part was easier for you, something you’d done many times in the past. “Thank you for doin’ that. I’m sorry I’m such a baby.”

Arvin sat at the kitchen table behind you, “You ain’t a baby just cause you don’t like to kill things. I’d say it’s probably rather normal.”

The time was inching closer to four o’clock now and the sun was beginning to hang ever so slightly lower in the sky, the precursor to sunset. It was warm outside and a cool spring breeze blew in through the open window above the sink. You snickered as you pulled another handful of feathers out, “Yeah? That mean you ain’t normal?” You looked over at him with a playful glint in your eye but your smile fell when you saw an uncomfortable look cross his face, almost like he’d seen a ghost.

“I ain’t never said I liked killin’ either.” Arvin attempted to match your joking tone but it was pretty evident there was a weight behind his words.

“Hey, I‘m sorry. I was only jokin’.” A pang of guilt washed over you but it was only that. A joke. You hadn’t imagined teasing him over something like killing a chicken would set him off, especially since he volunteered to do it for you, but apparently you were wrong.

Arvin sniffed and scratched his nose, “I know.” After a moment of awkward silence, he stood, “Let me give you a hand. What do you need done?”

You scanned his face once more to make sure he was really okay but you decided to drop it when you saw his insistent look. You shook your head, “I got it. It ain’t much after I get this all gutted and cleaned.” You picked up the mostly featherless carcass by the wings and plopped it back down into the sink.

“Well ‘m sure there’s vegetables or somethin’ else that goes with it, right? Let me start cuttin’ those up.” His persistence was adorable, making your heart flutter in the most wonderful way. The idea of a man actually being helpful was unknown to you before Arvin. Your life had been filled with your dad’s drunken bossings since you were twelve years old. You couldn’t remember the last time a genuinely kind voice offered you anything more than a smile on the street, not that you took that for granted. Arvin was just different though. Noble and helpful and kind.

“You really don’t have to-”

“Yeah, you keep sayin’ that but I really do want to help. So what can I do to make things easier on you?” He took a few steps closer to you until you felt the beginning of what could have been sparks if he stepped any nearer, like when you hold two magnets a few inches apart and you can feel the energy between them, that hint of attraction, but it’s not quite close enough to pull them together.

The blush in your cheeks at his simple gesture made you break the eye contact with a nervous laugh of retreat, “Okay, fine. If you’re gonna be so insistent,” you drew out with a teasing drawl, “you can cut up veggies. There’s potatoes over there and carrots and zucchini in the fridge.”

Arvin’s lips turned up in a small smile when you finally resigned your stubborn ways and he went off to find the vegetables where you had directed him.

Needless to say, when your father came home from the bar to find you and Arvin talking over a song by the Platters playing on the radio with Arvin cleaning up the dishes while you tossed together the vegetables and the seasoning, he was less than pleased.

“What the hell is going on here?” His slurred speech made your eyes widen in fear. He was supposed to get home later like he always did. But then you found yourself chiding your irresponsibility. Why the hell would you take that chance? You knew better than to let Arvin help out and now you were gonna pay.

Arvin sensed the way you tensed up beside him and watched as you spun around to face your father with haste, “Just finishin’ up dinner now. Should be ready by six so you got more than enough time to take a sho-”

“Why the fuck is he doin’ the dishes?” You father was leaning against the wall, clearly relying on the structure for support. This wasn’t the time to test him, not with Arvin here. It was times like this when he’d start throwing stuff at you.

Before you could say anything, Arvin piped up firmly but respectfully, “I offered, sir. It’s no problem at all.”

Your dad pointed at Arvin, “A man ain’t got no place with his hands in a sink of dishes. You leave that shit to her and she’ll just grab you a beer.” He stumbled over his own feet before catching himself ungracefully.

Arvin’s jaw set tightly and you gripped the countertop with white knuckles behind you. Times like this, you weren’t even sure what to say anymore. No amount of standing up for yourself got you anywhere with him. You never made any headway with your dad’s sexist views on gender roles. It was pointless. The only thing to do was try and work your way to supporting yourself so you could get the hell out of dodge and never look back.

Arvin’s voice surprised you, “A man’s place is helpin’ out the women in his life when they need, not leavin’ ‘em to do all the housework themselves.” You nearly choked on your own tongue at his words. It was a bold statement for a man to make, especially to the head of the house that was being so gracious as to host him free of charge, but he didn’t back down. It appeared like the jab was lost on your drunken father but Arvin continued with a slightly less accusatory comment to diffuse the situation regardless, “I grew up helpin’ my grandma with all the house chores so I really don’t mind at all.”

You watched the way your dad eyed Arvin and then you before scoffing and grumbling incoherently as he shuffled his way into the living room. You let out a breath you hadn’t realized you’d been holding. “I don’t want you gettin’ kicked out ‘cause of me. You didn’t have to say nothin’.”

Arvin glared at where your father had disappeared and nodded, “Yeah, I did. You don’t deserve all the shit he gives you.”

You suddenly found yourself avoiding his eyes and twisting your lips. He was right and you were well aware of that fact. The abuse your dad put you through was uncalled for at best. The fact that Arvin had actually taken the time to not only notice the same fact but acknowledge it and stand up for you was something you never thought you’d hear someone do. It made you uncomfortable. You’d been fighting this battle by yourself for so long that letting somebody even know it was being waged was enough to make you want to sink away. Even so, a part of you wanted to let Arvin keep standing up for you. It made you feel weak after having to stand up for yourself for so long but also validated.

Your eyes flicked up to meet his for only a moment before turning back towards dinner that sat in a roasting pan on the stove, “Thank you.”

______

Taglist:

@thisisparadisemylove

@justapurrcat

#arvin russel imagine #arvin russell x you #Arvin Russell #arvin rus #arvin russell x reader #arvin russel #arvin russel x reader #arvin russel x y/n #tom holland #tom holland imagine #tom holland one shot #The Devil All The Time #tdatt #tdatt imagine #tdatt fics #Hayloft

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thewritingstar · 3 years

Text

Ignite

SoMa Week 2021 Day One: Burn

Pairing: SoMa (Soul x Maka)

Fandom: Soul Eater

Note: This is my first time participating in SoXa week! Also its my finals week so im stressed about tests and my second vaccine dose is kicking my butt but I thought instead of studying, lets write a fic. I’ve been really into soul eater recently and started the manga, so you’ll see some new fics for it here and there. Anyways, enjoy!

@soulxmakaweek

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Her view of love had burnt out a long time ago. She was hopeful at times to think someone could be loyal and love her for eternity but that fear of being left behind and abandoned again would destroy any hope of that.

She had thought it was written in stone. From a young age she didn’t think about marriage, didn’t care about relationships because she wasn’t willing to risk the burn marks on her heart for just a sliver of satisfaction. There was nothing anyone could say to her to change her mind, she knew that, more importantly, he knew that.

But slowly that mindset started to challenge her heart. The moment she asked Soul to be her partner when they were teenagers, she felt a spark. It was small and only lasted a fraction of a second when he said yes and gave her a smirk she dared not say she liked. For a moment she had forgotten about her pact, never fall in love, but it came back quickly as it left.

She repeated those words more frequently than not. The mirror had begun to memorize the movement of her lips as she looked at herself and scolded anything that remotely resembled a romantic interest.

Every so often a brave boy would come up to her with a card and some flowers and try his hand at Maka’s heart. She would be as kind as possible to turn them down but she never missed the way Soul’s lips turned up into a smirk. Soon she was seen as untouchable, no one could woo her or they would be too threatened by Soul to even try.

It was a relief to Soul to see boys not trying to win over Maka but a part of him wondered if she would ever let herself fall for anyone.

“Do we really have to go to this dance?” Soul grumbled as he fixed his tie for the tenth time.

Maka sighed from the bathroom. “Yes Soul. Its our duty as successful students to make an appearance. Plus I heard that there is going to be good food.”

Soul rolled his eyes as he plopped onto the couch. “Its been five years since we graduated, do people even care about us?” He smirked as he heard her scoff from the hallway.

“No, Im sure no one cares about the current death weapon or the amazing person who not only made said weapon but is also one of the best teachers at the academy.”

“Relax Maka, I’m just teasing. Now hurry up or we are gonna be late and I am not about to be scolded by Kid for that.”

“Alright.” She huffed and finished her makeup with a swipe of lip gloss. “I’m coming. How do I look?” She asked.

It was a simple question, one he was used to answering often with a “fine. good. who cares, lets go.” But lately he's been trying to hold in his actual thoughts.

Maka stared at him, those olive green eyes that he became more attracted to lately. There was an untacked about chemistry that had been hovering around them for the past few years and slowly, he was loosing the battle on keeping it in place.

Her dress was black with off the shoulder sleeves and cut off mid-thigh. Something classy and elegant but still fun to twirl in. Her heels boosted her to his eye level and her hair was up in an updo with some blonde framing her face.

“Soul?” She asked him and he cleared his throat before grabbing his keys.

“Uh, you look perfect. We should really be going.” Way to be cool about it, he scolded himself.

Maka grabbed her purse and followed him out the door. Deep down she could feel a small spark of desire flare but quickly, she pushed it down and got into the car.

The dance was nothing less than perfection. Every dish, napkin, balloon and streamer was in a proper place with symmetry as its main function. Kid apparently had spent a week decorating the place himself just to insure that it was nothing less than his standards.

“He really out did himself, huh?” Soul commented as he looked around the room.

“He sure did.” Maka said.

There were a mix of students and faculty on the dance floor already. Kid was standing towards the back with Black Star while Tsubaki, Patty and Liz were chatting near them.

“It brings me back to when you forced me to these thing when we were kids.” Soul said as they made their way across the room.

Maka laughed. “Guess things haven’t changed much.”

They parted ways, Soul going towards the guys and Maka joining the girls.

“Oh Maka you look so cute!” Patty complimented her.

Maka smiled. “You all look so good too.”

Liz finished her drink before looking towards the boys. “I bet Soul likes this number on you.” She winked and Maka took a glass on a near by tray and gulped it down.

“Aww don’t tease the clueless love birds.” Tsubaki giggled.

“There nothing to tell.” Maka tried to reason but none of the girls believed her for a moment. “I’m not even his type.” She rushed out and Liz almost started to choke on her drink.

“Are you kidding? The smartest girl in the school, no the city and she's dumb as a rock when it comes to the love sick scythe.”

Maka swatted Liz’s arm and rolled her eyes. Behind her she heard someone clear their throat.

“Maka?”

She turned to see Peter, a fellow teacher who specialized in weapon training of the lower grade levels.

“Oh hi Peter, how are you?” Maka greeted and the rest of the girls waved politely.

“Good. I was wondering if you wanted to dance maybe?” He asked.

She expected to hear the girls snickering and giggling but instead she was met with silence and a smug cough from Liz.

“Oh, uh.” She started.

“Come on, it will be fun.” He said and took her hand, pulling her to the dance floor without giving her a chance.

A small squeak escaped her lips as she almost crashed into his chest. His hands found their way to her hips as he swayed to the music. Although she had always found their conversations nice and refreshing, he wasn’t the type of man that was, well, her type.

“You know Maka, I’ve always admired you.” He said.

She looked up at him and offered a polite smile. “Oh really?”

“So brave and smart, makes sense that the top teacher was also the top student.”

She laughed slightly. “Well I couldn’t have done it without my partner.”

Peter quickly caught his frown. “Yeah, Soul. Nice dude.”

“He likes to consider himself a ride or die.” She smiled to herself.

Peter grunted something she couldn’t make out and spun her around. She saw Soul walking towards the balcony doors just as she came back to Peter’s front.

“Anyways, I was wondering if you wanted to have dinner with me, you know, like a date?”

Maka stopped in her tracks. Date. No. She didn’t want that. She gave up on that a long time ago.

“Look Peter, you’re a nice guy and I have a great time working with you, but I’m just not looking for anything.”

“Oh. I just thought you and I we're getting to be good friends.”

“Well I like chatting with you and grading stuff but I really am not into dating right now. Sorry.”

“I get it, Soul would be jealous.” He scoffed and stepped back. “ I should have listened.”

“Listened to what?” She demanded.

He had the audacity to smile at her. “Oh please. Ever since school, everyone knew that it was you and Soul. I just thought that since nothing has happened yet, you would be on the market.”

That rubbed her the wrong way and her face turned sour.

“Well sorry to disappoint you, but I’m not some slab of meat. See you on Monday.” She scoffed and walked away from him. Instead of going back to her friends, she stormed towards the balcony and greeted the cool air to help calm her down.

“That was quick.” Soul teased and he held out his hand to help her up, making sure her dress didn’t get caught.

“Quick enough for a dance just to ask me out and get mad when I said no.”

Soul turned towards her. “Oh? Another ego bruised?”

“He said he had been waiting for me to be on the market.” She spat. “Disgusting behavior.”

Soul let out a laugh and threw his arm over her shoulder. “Men are stupid, you’re smart to not go near them.”

“You’re not stupid, most of the time.” She mumbled.

“The difference between me and those guys is I’ve had my ass handed to me by you. I know not to mess with the bull. Plus, I actually have respect for you and women, like a cool person should.”

“Yeah. He then said that you would be jealous.”

They watched the sun begin to set slowly. Sometimes Maka wondered what it would feel like to be the sun. Eternal warmth. Being a constant in peoples lives. She looked to Soul who seemed a little lost in thought. That spark coming to the surface and she wondered why she didn’t allow herself to what she wanted.

For years she had made sure that their partnership never faltered from that. She couldn’t risk anything happening to them because she wasn’t sure if she would be able to trust another weapon the way she did with him. She also didn’t want to partner with anyone else.

She enjoyed his company. Enjoyed the way that he could make her smile and feel comfortable. Most importantly, he stuck to his word. She never once felt like he would leave and when he said he was going to be there, she believed him.

Sometimes she wished she could just scream at him and tell him that she had been in love with him for years. That her talks about marriage and love never once applied to him and if he asked, she would be his forever.

“I think he's right.” Soul started. “Its always been you and me. I probably wouldn’t like the attention taken. Stupid, I know.”

“Its not, because I think I know why no one else sparks my interest.” She took a breath and stared at him. Those crimson eyes that held a sense of comfort and form of love that was now crystal clear. “I don’t think anyone else comes close to how I see you. The stolen glances and walking on the eggshells of feelings I pushed down long ago. I get it now Soul. You never asked because you waited for me.”

He let out a laugh from his chest and jumped down before offering his hand. “The moment I met you Maka? I knew we were end game, I was just hoping you saw it too.”

When she looked at Soul, she could sense the last little flames igniting. She could have crushed them, put them out with the bottom of her shoe and never let them rise again. She could of finally removed all the pain her parents marriage caused her and not let anything happen to her heart.

And when she thought that her idea of love was burnt to a crisp, she didn’t realize that those tiny embers had slowly grown into a burning fire. Only one person fanned the flames of her heart and she wonders why she couldn’t see it all those years ago.

But instead she looked into his eyes and saw nothing but trust. His smile was genuine and there was a faint blush on his cheeks as he waited for her answer. Deep down the embers sparked as she took his hand and she felt the fire take over.

She took his hand and he gently pulled her close until their noses touch and he placed a kiss on her knuckles. She could barely hear the music playing inside but it felt like a symphony was surrounding them. He began to hum a tune and stepped to lead her in their dance.

She giggled as he twirled her. It felt freeing, it felt right, it was perfect. He brought her back to his chest and with a big smile, he looked down at her.

“Maka?”

“Hmm?”

“Can I kiss you?”

“Yes.”

He pulled her close, taking her lips and kissing her just like he wanted to for as long as he could remember. Her lips were soft and he could feel the curl of her lips as she smiled against him.

The fire within her erupted brighter than before. The sense of longing for another began to be fulfilled and any doubts she had began to shrink. Any doubts she had with Soul had been long gone. He was her constant, the person who was always there no matter what. She never had to ask or even say a word for him to be by her side.

Her idea of love had been crushed when she had been a girl. She had thought that no one could change that. Perhaps she would spend her life not knowing what life could have been with a full heart.

But as she held Soul close to her, it became clear that he was the one to hold the match to those embers. He was a reminder that love could exist and be devoted to another.

He was the fire that burned in her heart and she gladly excepted the warmth.

“Hey Soul?” She whispered against his lips.

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

She didn’t think his smile could get any bigger as he told her the same and kissed her again.

----

I hope you enjoyed :)

#SoMaWeek2021 #SoulxMakaWeek #soulxmaka #soma #soma fic #thewritingstar #souleater #soul eater #Soul eater fanfiction #Soul x Maka

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kinktae · 3 years

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The Future of this blog **not clickbait** (spooky) ((live footage!!!))

SURPRISE IM NOT DEAD!! I know I basically disappeared off the face of the earth but AM ALIVE!!!! I’ve just been trying figure life out and have been really working on taking the comic I am making (cough cough plug plug click here) more serious that I kind of put fanfic writing on the back burner!

THAT BEING SAID... IM BACK!

I missed writing fan fic so much and have been WORKING ON THE FINAL PART OF NOVOCAINE FOR THE PAST WEEK, AND WILL TRY TO GET THAT OUT FOR U GUYS AS SOON AS A POSSIBLE!!! I hope everyone has been having a safe and happy holiday seasons!!

On a slightly more candid note...

I’m not actually someone who gets super caught up in the numbers aspect of fic writing but lately I kind of realized holy fuck so many ppl follow me and I sort of started to avoid Tumblr in the sense that it made me incredibly anxious. I am so fucking blessed beyond all words to have thirty mother fucking thousand followers. The day I ever sound like an ungrateful whiny bitch to have this kind of support for my fics PLEASE BURY ME SIX FEET UNDER, this community, this blog has absolutely changed my life for the better. But with that many people, comes a lot of opinions and a lot of people I am scared to get let down. I found myself coming onto Tumblr less and less in fear that I might wake up to hate or someone asking for updates (which I actually don’t mind I usually just delete them or answer them if happen to know!) Idk but my headspace got warped and I was starting to view this blog as a job and the notifs and asks started piling up to a point where my anxiety prevented me from opening the app all together. Please understand this is NOTHING personal. I am simply,,, mentally ill LFMAOFOSDJFDSJG but seriously its a behavior I had to unlearn. I only just today mustered up the courage to check my blog and my bts discord server.

THAT BEING SAID: I am going to go ahead and mass delete the asks in my ask box. I am so so so beyond sorry to all the kind words and lovely anons and users who left me such sweet fucking messages. Ill try my best to answer those sent off anon privately!! I just... need a fresh start for my mental state. It has just gotten to a number that is no longer realistic to me to answer. I am so sorry. It’s my fault for letting it fall behind this far. Truly. I feel so fucking awful. I love you guys so much. You all have a part of me. This blog has my heart.

And I will continue writing for it until u guys get sick of me hehe.

OKOKOK LOVE U GUYS

#personal #I LOVE U GUYS.

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soulwillower · 4 years

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heather • richie tozier

(richie tozier x reader)

[based off the song heather by conan gray]

requested: OMG I HAVE AN IDEA IDK IF ITS GOOD AND IDK WHY IM TYPING IN ALL CAPS BUT CAN U DO A FIC WHERE LIKE ITS BASED OF YHE SONG HEATHER BY CONAN GRAY WHERE THE READER AND RICH HAVE BEEN BEST FRIENDS FOR SO MANY YEARS AND HAVE FEELINGS FOR EACHOTHER BUT THERE BOTH SO OBLIVIOUS- SO WHEN RICHIE LIKE GETS A GF ONE DAY THE READER JUST WHSKWHDIWHWIW IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN IT BUT LIKE AT THE END THEY REALIZE THEYRE IN LOVE. SORRY IF ITS TOK SPECIFIC. LOVE U. IM RUNNING OUTTA CHARACTERS

warnings: swearing, mentions of underage drinking, themes of cheating but no actual cheating, angst, fluff at the end, unedited.

thank u guys so much for being so patient with this fic <3 love u all so much!

[losers + reader are 18+ in this.]

4.4k words

(also, this fic starts with a flashback and idk if i like this style, but lmk if it works)

♡

the persistent beat thudding in your ears seems to do nothing more than dim your already low mood as you sip on lemonade by yourself in someone's basement bar, sitting on an uncomfortable metal barstool and leaning your head heavy against your chin.

these days, it seemed as though the world was painted in gray.

you look around almost lazily; bev and ben went outside in the snow a couple minutes ago, stan just took a girl upstairs - you're left alone now, because mike and eddie had to study for their exam and bill was feeling under the weather. and richie, as usual, was late.

there's almost twenty other people in the room right now, but you have no desire to speak to any of them. you've been trying to have fun tonight, but you're just having a hard time, feeling distracted and unable to stop thinking about wire framed glasses and a certain bright smile.

your wandering eyes halt your thoughts as a girl in your class - heather perez - catches your eye from across the room, her hair falling in natural curls that makes you sigh in envy. she smiles and waves at you warmly, gesturing for you to come and sit with her. you swallow and look down into your cup of dreary, graying lemonade as you try not to think about how you look in comparison. she's so fucking pretty. you look back up and shake your head with a friendly smile, faker than a plastic flower, and nod to the bathroom. she shrugs and smiles, turning back around.

she was too sweet, it hurt.

her naturally dark hair, long and wavy, her smooth dark skin, her laugh.... but suddenly, your head snaps back up after recognizing a familiar sight on heather's figure.

-is that richie's sweater?

your heart thumps and churns in the most unsavory way as all the breath leaves your lungs in one swift exhale. you feel sick to your stomach and your hand falls to hit the counter to stabilize yourself, the lemonade sloshing out of the cup slightly. but you pay no mind. heather's wearing richie's sweater...

you know that sweater really well. it's definitely his, and for some reason that makes you want to cry.

you blink and force yourself to suck air into your lungs as you look around quickly, anywhere but at heather perez wearing richie tozier's sweater, with all the stripes and patterns and the rough polyester material. you're not sure why you're so caught off-guard, you knew that heather perez was maybe-kinda-sorta seeing your trashmouth. he'd mentioned it in passing a few times and you've not been able to keep it off your mind as bev and bill whisper to richie about it in the halls or during hangouts when you were laying in stan's lap pretending not to hear it.

it hurts, though. holy hell, does it hurt when richie turns the corner and the typical, 'hey, richie!' choruses through most of the people in the basement - and yet his eyes are just set on her.

it hurts even worse when you make eye contact with him and he smiles at you, nodding in greeting and calling a "hey there, toots!" over the thumping of the noise before turning back towards heather.

your heart thumps erradically as you eye him sliding an arm around her shoulders easily, pulling her into his tall lanky frame, crushing your chest and deflating your trembling heart. heather's head falls onto richie's shoulder and you shiver, feeling colder than you've felt in so long. the lemonade you force to your lips tasting like stale water as the sight of richie pinching heather's shoulder and thumbing his own sweater on her frame make you feel empty.

even now, weeks later, you remember how it felt. you sip on the boiling tea and immediately burn your tongue, making you swear as you stare out your window, the snow falling around your house in the dark making you feel an odd, empty kind of peace. that fucking sweater.

you haven't talked to richie in almost a week and a half - he got in trouble the night after the party and his parents took his phone away - at eighteen years old, his parents took his phone - so that he could 'spend time with family' (a task that made you chuckle to yourself when bill had explained it to you about twelve days ago).

it's winter break, though, and you've been missing the last piece of your eight-person puzzle the last few times you've hung out with your friends. it feels empty without richie's boisterous shenanigans, snarky looks and goofy comebacks... you feel really embarrassed for missing him so deeply.

tears well up in your eyes as you think again about his damn sweater, the one that heather was wearing, the same one he'd given you not even three weeks prior.

"well look at you." richie says with amusement trickling through his voice like melting icewater through a calm creek. you spin towards him with a grin eclipsing your face as you shrug around his sweater, pretending not to smell his strong scent and pretending not to feel the immediate comfort it gives you.

"you know, for as dumb as it looks, i kind of like it." you tease, brushing some hair back from your eyes as the sweater sleeves fall back down past your hands. he laughs, eyes not leaving you for a second.

"shit, doll. keep it." he says, sounding serious. it makes you pull a face at him, starting to lift it slightly over your head to return it to its rightful owner.

but he shakes his head, hands gently gripping your arms and halting your motions, subsequently setting your heart on fire. his lips are set in a gentle grin as he shakes his head again. "it looks so much better on you."

it's spoken simply, in such honestly that it makes you blush nearly immediately. in fact, you're so flustered that all you can do is shove him a bit, stuttering out a quiet, "shut up, richie, you- i - okay, whatever."

it makes him chuckle as he takes the soft blow of your hands against his shoulders, deftly running his hands through his curly locks as he shakes his head. "you're adorable, kid."

you're lucky he'd turned around to gripe around on his messy bed for his laptop, because the stupid grin you're sure is painting your face is enough to make you dig your own grave and then hand him the shovel. if only he knew how much you liked him.

you didn't keep the sweater after that night, though. at the time, you'd told him it was because it was putrid; that the colors and patterns were a sin to man and that you'd never be caught dead wearing it out. he laughed the whole time because you had literally worn it to the store with him it with him that same day. but now, you'd give anything for richie to give you that sweater again, to feel that polyester inseam fall against your stomach and your arms and chest, like a huge richie hug (without all the bones and the cologne and the caffeine-pulsing heartbeat - so not a real richie hug, but as close as you could get to the real thing without actually just having it).

god, you like him too much. you rub your face with your palm, the moisture from the tears that had accidentally escaped your eyes smudging against your face. you're tired, almost - it's like an empty, heartbroken exhaustion that sags your shoulders and chokes your throat and makes you zone out for minutes at a time. one thought overwhelms you right now, so as you see a car's headlights shine out your window through the falling snow, you don't even notice it.

you just wish you were heather.

you've tried to hate her. really, you have - you figured maybe, just maybe, if you were able to rant to bev or eddie about how much of a bitch heather is, how she's terrible to richie and how boring she was, maybe you could justify the heartbreak in your chest.

but god, she's so perfect. heather, with her shiny hair, bright smile, her flawless mind and caring heart. she's, as far as you're concerned, an angel. of course richie would choose heather, who wouldn't?

the other day at that party, you'd tried your hardest to ignore your intrusive thoughts, but you can't help feeling like it would all be better if heather didn't exist. and even that thought alone hurts your heart, because you remember the smile on richie's face when he looked at her, swathed in his sweater and floating around the room like a beacon of light.

and you could never, ever in good conscience take that from richie.

you almost laugh at how absurd it is - now you're talking to yourself while you stare out the window, half asleep, dreaming of freckles placed just like constellations and crooked noses, of jawlines that jut out and long, lanky fingers; of loud, chipping laughter and beat up high-tops with cuffed corduroy pants.

"y/n?" a voice behind your door makes you jump a bit, unsettling your already disconcerted bones. you’re imagining him, now? you laugh into your scalding mug for a second, but after a double-take at the doorway you find the angel himself to be standing there with a perplexed look.

"richie, what're you doing here?" you ask, rubbing your eye to make sure no tears are left. he looks troubled. "i knocked, but nobody answered. so..." he says with a shrug, and you ned, tucking a leg under yourself and nodding.

"what are you doing, toots?" he asks, backlit by the hallway light. and then you finally can see what he's wearing, and you almost laugh at your own misery.

but you don’t laugh, your brain short-circuiting as you feel the knife twist further into your abdomen. the stupid fucking sweater.

“-um, nothing. y- did you get that back from heather?” you try to deliver the line as smoothly as possible, but by the look on his face, you did a real shit job at that.

“what?” he asks in an exhale as he shakes snowflakes from his hair and shoulders, closing your door as he walks towards you and falls to sit next to you on your windowsill seat.

“i thought you gave her that sweater.” you say and he raises a brow, “yeah, like two weeks ago.” he says slowly, eyeing you. he adds, “she obviously didn’t need it after that.”

you frown, “did she need it then?” you didnt try to sound bitter at all, but your voice comes with more of a sting than you’d anticipated.

as always, richie meets fire with fire. “it was twenty fuckin’ degrees out, she was wearing a tank top.”

you don’t know what to say so you just stare out the window with a quick huff, crossing your arms. "why does it matter? it's a sweatshirt." he mutters. "i was just being nice to her."

you nod, pain twisting around in your stomach. he's right, it's just a sweater. but he gave it to her, because he likes heather better.

“what’s up with you, kid?” he asks, gentler this time.

“don’t call me kid, richie.” you say sharply, not meeting his eyes. “and there’s nothing up with me.” you know you’re being difficult, but you really don't have the energy to argue with him right now.

it’s quiet again, and the silence is even more awkward. you take another scalding sip of your tea.

“um, y/n... is this because of heather?” he says after a bit. you feel the tension that the acknowledgment brings as it hits you in the thick, cold air. richie’s tapping a rhythm on his thigh, so you can tell he feels it too.

"richie." you say weakly, your voice coming out too quiet, too obviously broken and exhausted. "i cannot do this. please don't do this right now"

he blinks at you, eyebrows furrowed. "sugar, i'm so lost right now."

you decide to change the subject. "-why'd you come over?" you ask, actually looking at him then immediately regretting it. he looks hurt and confused, like a lost puppy.

"oh. um, i just need to tell you something.it's about heather, too." he sounds anxious, and you roll your eyes, looking down at the tree outside your room as wind blows powdery white mounds off its branches.

“can this just wait until tomorrow?” you whisper. doesn't he get it?

it's quiet and for a moment you believe that he's going to leave it, to not bring up the obvious jealousy brewing in your chest. but he breaks the silence too soon.

"i tried to kiss her." he says and you immediately look towards the door, the most immediate escape possible.

your breathing gets heavy; if you have to hear this, you know you'll admit your feeling to richie, and you don't want to do that to him. but you have a suspicion that he already knows.

"richie, i'm so, so glad to see you. and that you like heather. really, i am. but- it's not a good time. i'm not- i'm not okay." you say, voice thick as tears well behind your eyes.

richie’s eyes widen almost comically as you make eye contact and his hands immediately find purchase on your arms, his thumbs rubbing in the way that he has done ever since that one foggy summer you spent in the sewers. "y/n/n, what's wrong, sweetheart?" he asks, watching sadly as a tear slips from your cheek. it breaks your heart when he calls you sweetheart, and you shake your head.

you can't tell him the truth - that you love him, so instead, you mumble, "i've missed you. there's a lot going on, and i just really need you."

he looks guilty as he pulls you into a warm hug, one that takes you off guard but that you return gratefully. "you've been too busy spending time with heather and with your parents, and i understand that, i just - you know, i miss you." you say, voice muffled as your cheek is squished into his shoulder. he sighs shakily, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head. “i know i’ve been with her a lot, i’m sorry sugar.” he mutters.

it feels like you’re both holding something back from the other.

"i wish i were heather." you say against his shoulder, knowing richie’s completely unaware of the depth of your statement. but he pulls back and stares at you, an unknown look on his face. you open your mouth to say something, but you're cut off before you can get anything out.

and his lips fall against yours lightly, almost as if they’re ghosts against yours. his presence feels fleeting.

you barely close your eyes and press closer to him before you snap out of it, jerking backwards with wide eyes.

richie’s eyes fall open too as he looks at you questioningly. your heart is thumping heavy as you shake your head, more shocked than you thought ever possible. “what?” he asks, as if he’s surprised you’re not kissing back.

you give him a sad, broken look. you think you’ll cry as you mutter, "why would you ever kiss me? i'm not - i'm not nearly as pretty as her, i'm just-"richie suddenly looks like he might get sick, his face paler than usual as the steam from your tea dwindles idly between you. he cuts you off. "-why are you - why are you saying all these things y/n/n-”

“heather. you like heather.” you say frantically, trying to remind him so you dont have to live through this fresh faced heartbreak twice as painful if he kisses you again.

but richie shakes his head, and your confusion skyrockets just as much as your heartbeat."no. a-amy asked her out." he says breathlessly. "-she said yes."

you blink, pulling even further away as it dawns on you. "wait. so... so you only want to see me after the girl you wanted finds someone else?" you ask, watching as the smile gets smacked off of richie's face so quickly you think it may give him whiplash. "wait, no-" he starts, but you shake your head.

“richie, do you understand how hurtful that is?” you say, voice heavy as you try not to let tears fall.

he shakes his head, eyes glossing with tears as he gapes at you, “n-no, y/n-“

“fuck, richie. i know you know about my feelings for you. how could you do this? i’m not heather, i’m reminded that every time i’m in the same room as the two of you. she’s had you completely mesmerized for the last month, you can’t just use me to distract yourself.” you say, your tea completely forgotten as a tear escapes your eye.

he shakes his head, looking at you with an emotion you don’t have the energy to decipher. “leave, richie.” your voice is broken and it shakes as you look away from him.

you’re not sure what you were expecting, but when richie stands up silently you dont even look away from the window. you see him wipe his cheek in your peripheral before he sighs quietly and walks out of your room, shutting the door quietly.

you cry openly as you hear your door shut downstairs, your hands shaking as you cover your face, your shoulders shaking with sobs. you make it under your covers just as you hear a car engine sputter outside, your heart empty and lips still tingling as the feeling of richie’s lips linger on yours. you groan into your pillow and let out another sob, your eyes squeezing in agony as your heart feels like it’s ripping in two.

because even if they’re not together, richie still likes her.

why couldn’t you be heather?

you cry until you’re asleep, your now cold mug of tea resting on the windowsill as your phone charges next to you and snow swirls in the dark sky.

when you wake up the next morning, your headache is nearly blinding. you feel like crying more as you remember last night. you roll over and rub your eyes, unlocking your phone groggily.

but you check your notifications and your heart immediately stops as you see a missed call from richie at 3:49 in the morning last night, and a voicemail left a minute later.

well, you guess he got his phone back.

your fingers tremble as they hover above the play button, feeling like you may vomit from anxiety - the message he left is two minutes long.

closing your eyes, ready for even more heartbreak, you press play and hold the speaker to your ear.

“um, y/n.” the voicemail starts off, and you’re already tearing up because richie’s voice is full to the brim with anxiety and he’s not using his usual nicknames for you.

“uh... okay, i- i know it’s four in the morning, and you’re probably asleep - god, i hope you are, and that you’re not ignoring me. not that i dont deserve it, but i just want you to get good rest. uh, a-anyways. fuck,” there’s an awkward pause and you’re holding your breath.

“you know i’m not good with phone calls or voicemails-“ his rambling just adds to your anxious feeling, but you think if you don’t listen to this, your anxiety would eat you alive.

“- fuck, i don’t know how to say this. kind of ironic, i guess, since i’ve been thinking about saying it like every day for probably more than a year- okay, i’m... god, spit it out, trashmouth.” his voice gets thicker and you can hear the emotion as he takes a shallow breath.

“y/n/n, you make my hands shake. i swear, my heart feels like it’s going to backfire and explode when we touch... and it scares me so fucking bad.” you feel your heart halt in your chest, the air leaving your lungs.

you keep the phone pressed tightly to your ear as richie’s recorded voice goes on.

“-fuck, y/n. i’m terrified. sometimes i think.... like, whoever created me... they designed me just to be yours. and... it’s not in the same way i feel about bev, or bill, or eddie-“ his voice breaks as he sniffs on the other end and it dawns on you that he’s crying. “-you’re you. you’re y/n. i tried to like heather as more than just a friend. but...” it’s silent for a second.

“i just kept comparing her to you. i do that with everybody. i think i’m broken. i love you so much that it hurts.” he’s crying enough by now that it’s leaking into his speech; he’s hiccuping, stuttering slightly, his inflection changing as you can almost picture the tears rolling off his thick eyelashes and onto his rosy cheeks.

“-and i can’t sleep right now knowing that i hurt you like this. i can’t believe that i let you think of yourself as lesser than heather in any way-“ he sobs quietly in the recording and takes a stuttering breath. "i can’t believe i put myself before you. i’m such a shitty friend. i should’ve been giving you my stupid fucking sweaters the whole time.”

tears are pouring out of your eyes as you sit up, ripping the comforter off your legs. you’re pulling on socks and your shoes as you continue to listen to richie’s voicemail.

“i’m sorry that i kissed you, and i’m sorry that i dragged you into this m-mess, that i used heather as an excuse to ignore my feelings for you. i-i love you so fucking much, and i’m just so scared of hurting you. i’m so sorry that i hurt you, y/n.”

you have to see him.

“-and, um, i’m sorry i left this voice message. this is probably the worst way to find this out but i figured that it would be easier for us to ignore if it wasn’t in person- y’know, because you don’t have to respond. just- now you know. that i’m sorry, and that i don’t expect you to forgive me or want to speak to me for a while. i just- i need you to know that you’re so loved, y/n. and that you deserve so much better than me.

“so, um, okay. i’ll let you sleep now. b-bye.” he whispers the end and then the line cuts dead.

you’re left with shaking breath and tears in your eyes as his voice rings in your head. you try to take in what he’s just said, but you think you’re about to pass out.

how can richie love you back?

you brush your teeth almost aggressively as your heart beats erratically in your chest and then you’re suddenly flying down the snowy road towards the tozier’s house.

you realize too late that you look completely awry, hair unbrushed, eyes puffy and swollen, shoes untied as you knock on the front door of richie's house.

went opens the door, richie’s younger sister sat on his hip as he smiles at you, "y/n! long time no see. richie's upstairs in his room."

you smile at him in thanks, too rushed to say anything to him or munch. then you’re all but sprinting up the stairs, only feeling the anxiety as you throw open the door to his bedroom.

you're relieved that he's laying in his bed, surrounded by pillows and fluffy comforters as he jumps from the noise of your arrival.

when he sits up, neither of you say anything. his eyes are red and rimmed with tears, a heartbreaking sight as his lower lip trembles slightly. you're sure you look the same as you take a step towards his bed, your eyes not leaving each other's for a second.

he looks incredible, still.

"y/n..." he whispers finally, his eyes wide. "did you get my message?" he says, lips tilting in a stupid, forced smile. his voice holds no humor in it's sad thickness, though, and you sigh as you look down to the carpet.

you shake your head, "can you not joke for a minute, rich?"

he laughs wetly, standing up fully and although he towers at 6'0, he looks so small. "i can try, doll, but then i'll start to cry a lot, and that's just not what anybody wants-"

"richie." you say, effectively ceasing his rambling. it's cold in his room, bright white from the snow outside, and silent. he looks at you with huge eyes and a red nose.

but you don't know what to say. you’ve spent so long wanting to be heather, but now you've found out that richie's loved you this whole time. it hurts, but you can't wait another second being away from richie.

you launch yourself towards him, grabbing the back of his neck and pulling him down to your mouth.

this time, the kiss is warm, unexpected again but much more loving. it's a kiss that tastes like tears and love and trust, and all you can feel is richie as his hands find purchase on your cheek and back, pulling you so close to him that you can feel is rapid heartbeat.

he pulls back to mumble against your lips, "i'm so sorry." you shake your head, pressing another kiss to his and loving the feeling of richie against you finally. "i love you." you say, feeling his grin against your mouth.

"i love you so much." he says, pulling you lightly to fall onto his bed with him and tickling your sides.

you laugh lightly, swatting at his prodding fingers. "please stop crying." he whispers, laying above you with a small smile. you roll your eyes, "you stop crying rich." you retort, and he shakes his head, one of his tears falling onto your cheek. you jump from the feeling and wipe it away, sniffling a gasp and pulling him into a tight hug, his legs tangling with yours.

“i’m sorry.” he mumbles. you cup his cheeks so his lips pucker out and you smile at him, whispering, “i forgive you, rich. i love you.” and then you place a soft kiss to his lips and he kisses you back enthusiastically. he pulls back and hugs you again, burrowing himself in your neck.

"i didn't think i'd ever get you." he says, muffled by his face in your shoulder. "thank you for trusting me. i love you so much." he kisses your collarbone lightly and your fingers play through his curls lightly as you smile, eyes closing. you're so tired.

"i love you more, richie."

you fall asleep with richie curled up beside you, his breath light on your chest and arms clutching you against him. you fall asleep with richie’s lips on your neck, his legs entangled with yours.

you fall asleep contently, knowing that you no longer have to wish you were heather.

tag list: @gabiatthedisco @blisshemmings @stenbrozier @simplesammyx @brxken-heartsclub @clownsloveyou @moon-shine-baby @daughter-of-the-stars11 @trashedfortozier @oceandog13 @finnskindofwoman @kait-tozier @upamongthestarss @fiantomartell @beverlyparkerr @beauregard-s @diorbubs @leighjaenikhowell @cowbellies @deepestofwaters <33

#richie tozier x reader #losers x reader #losers club x reader #jewish richie tozier #bill denbrough x reader #stanley uris x reader #beverly marsh x reader #eddie kaspbrak x reader #ben hanscom x reader #mike hanlon x reader

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