#im still not hopeful enough to think ill never do it again

[m0thkiller]

It just hit me that its been a long time since ive self harmed in August. ive cut it close a few times but im getting close to 100 days clean heresoon. thats like, kinda insane to me.

[mudstoneabyss]

actually. the specific phrasing that boy Kevin wants to kill older Kevin with "I must disassemble him, piece by piece, so that everything inside of the Old Kevin comes out. Only then can the New Kevin truly begin." is so incredibly the idea that to heal from trauma and "improve" you have to destroy every "wrong" part of yourself, that everything "tainted" by it has to somehow be replaced by something untouched (which isn't possible)

[an-theduckin]

Wait shit people might actually care about me

[penisbilt]

the bittersweet but absolute flood of relief that comes from admitting defeat at living independently, to have to move back in with parents. we tried! we gave it our best shot for almost 3 years! but living like this (being on our own) is just not possible for us at this time of our lives. we've finally proved it to ourselves that we can't do it. it'll be okay to let ourselves rest now

[toastsnaffler]

everyone say thank u to my roommate for going to visit her parents this weekend so I can jack it loud and nasty 🙏

[surreal-duck]

messing around a bit

[strwbrymlkshake]

Why can't I be satisfied with everything? It needs to be perfect to me and I can't accept anything otherwise :(

[be-good-to-bugs]

AAAAH forever stress is going to kill me one day

[mothocean]

All these posts abt horse riding are making me miss it so much

[wishful-seeker]

Tips on how to avoid being unintentionally ableist

1. When a disabled person says they cannot do something, and you wish to offer solutions, do not make a solution that involves them powering through pain, or something thats not accessible to the disabled.

Example:

Disabled person: "washing dishes hurts too much and i cannot do it."

Abled person: "what if you did one dish at a time throughout the day?"

This statement is not respecting that this disabled person just said they "can't". Always respect that. No matter how simple the task would be for you.

Disabled person:" i think ill use plastic silverware so i don't make dishes."

Abled person: "plastic is bad for the environment!"

This statement shuts down the most accessible and disabled friendly option that this disabled person can actually do because of the abled persons personal beliefs. This is not helpful, and ableist.

Better yet, instead of offering solutions, ask them directly "is there anything you need that you do not have that would help you do this?" This allows the disabled person to think about what would work, and they will always have a better idea of what would work than you do.

To add on to this, when we say we have no more energy to solve a problem or do a task, or change our lifestyle, we mean it.

2. If you feel discomfort when a disabled person is talking about their health, good and bad, that is ableist. Your discomfort is coming from a place that deams disabled peoples very existence as a bad thing and you need to fix that.

For example:

Disabled person:" this week has been rough pain wise, ive been through a lot, felt like my body was on fire. Lucky i got new meds though and i think they're helping!"

Abled person: "can we talk about something else, this is a bummer."

Disabled people should be able to exist freely without worrying about your personal comfort. Do you really think its appropriate to tell someone in constant pain that their life is making YOU uncomfortable?

3. Do not treat disabled people as tragedies, do not romanticize their old life or put their current one down.

For example:

Disabled person: "yeah my life is pretty difficult sometimes, ive lost a lot but i still have happy moments."

Abled person: "it makes me so sad to see what disabled people go through :(. You used to love rock climbing and running, i would love to see you move around more again."

This statement is putting more value on the disabled persons abled past, and ignoring their life as a whole.

4. Do not avoid speaking to disabled people because it hurts to see your loved one disabled.

For example: my grandmother avoids conversations with me because it hurts her to see me in pain. While she has good intentions it leaves me being unable to be close to her. This is very isolating to the disabled.

5. Do not stop inviting your disabled friend/loved one out even if they are never well enough to attend. Unless we specifically ask you to stop asking if we can go out, good chances are we want to know you still care because again, disability is very isolating.

6. When a disabled person says certain things in their health have gotten better or worse, do not challenge this because you don't see a difference.

For example:

Disabled person: "yeah things are getting a little better"

Abled person sees disabled person using their wheelchair like usual: "i thought you said you were getting better?"

Better and worse are usually small changes only the disabled experience, its not like abled people healing from a broken arm. Better to a disabled person could mean they can stand for 10 more minutes.

7. Do not expect disabled people to ever be abled again, and again, do not put more value on an abled life.

For example:

Disabled person:"I have been using a wheelchair for 2 years."

Abled person: "oh you're young, im sure you'll be walking around in no time!"

This statement invalidates and ignores the disabled persons current life by hoping they get a more abled bodied life. Its fine to hope disabled people get better, but you don't get to decide what better looks like.

Hope this helps, stay punk.

[chisatowo]

My aunt is gonna be leaving til next friday tomorrow I think, hashtag winning

[kimis-gloves]

sour - charles leclerc

word count : 780 - oneshot

hehe a lil charlie smut>:)

warnings: morning sex, dirty talk, petnames, if you squint very hard then angst?? but not rlly, softdom!charles, slight degrading, post/pre shower sex.

as early in the morning as it was, you hear Charles turning on the shower, humming whatever song he has stuck in his head from the never ending party you two went to last night. through your raging headache, you miss the warmth of your boyfriend so you stumble your way into the connecting bathroom, still in his hoodie that you managed to change into at 4:30 in the morning. Charles, already in the shower, washing off the sticky champagne & sweat. Coming p2 in Australia was something to be proud of, but he didnt feel proud. he hoped to do better next time as he hears y/n stumble her way into the bathroom, quickly going for a pee before speaking to charles through the glass doors.

“Good morning charles, ill start us some coffee”

“Thank you my love”

as you head out to make charles his favourite way of coffee, he finishes his shower and steps out to dry himself off and thats when you walk back in, coffees in hand. he looks absolutely amazing like this. hes stood infront of the large window, in nothing but a towel. the water beading off of him and dripping out of his hair. you set down the coffees and make your way towards the drool worthy man thats infront of you. you wrap your arms around his shoulders as you leave soft and wet kisses along his jawline. already being in somewhat of a sour mood, charles doesn’t appreciate your teasing and takes things into his own hands as he quickly grabs you by your hips and bends you over the counter top, almost knocking off the now close to cold coffees.

“Char-“

“A-Ah, no talking cherie, just let me take care of you right now~”

and with that you did. quickly shutting up for him as you let the man take however much control he desired from you. you thank him for any type of touch that he gives you. he goes to quickly pull down your panties, when he realizes you dont even have any on.

“What a dirty girl you are cherie.. no panties and already dripping out of your cunt like this? My my, im not sure what i should do with such a whore like you.”

he aggressively puts a hold into your hair and pulls you up to be face close to charles, breathing rapidly as he whispers,

“dont move, dont make a sound or else you will regret it. listen as i say and you wont have to suffer, am i clear darling?”

“Yes c-Charles” you say with a whine

“Hm, i dont think i was” he mutters, slowly sliding his tip along your slick-coated pussy. you whine again when he quickly smacks the side of your thigh “No noise, slut” he growls before shoving his 2 fingers into your mouth, allowing you to lick and spit on them. pulling them out and away from your mouth he instead inserts them both into your cunt.

fighting back moans, you clench your walls around charles’ fingers, letting him know how much you want to be filled his his cock.

“mon amour you feel so good, i cant wait to fill you with my cum.” he grumbled into your ear as he finally inserts his cock into your aching cunt, he bottoms out with a low hum into your ear. he slowly grinds into your pussy, drawing out lewd sounds from both of you. both you and Charles have given up on trying to keep you quiet as he just gets completely lost into your body. he sets a firm & steady pace, nearly knocking you out as he suddenly slams into you, the noise that leaves both your and his mouth is something that belongs in a porno. he wraps around your torso, one hand grabbing and pinching onto your nipple and the other reaching down to your throbbing clit. the sudden sensation is enough to set you over and soon enough you find yourself cumming all over his cock and fingers, him quickly following after as the tight & wet feeling on his cock is just too good not to cum from.

slowly pulling out of you, he’s planting kisses all over your body. turning the shower back on as he guides you in, making sure the water is the perfect temperature and that you aren’t going to topple over.

“my love, i should probably go remake these coffees” Charles laughs, placing a kiss onto your temple. as you watch Charles put his clothes on and leave the bathroom, coffees in hand, you couldn’t be more thankful to have such a perfect boyfriend like him.

a/n: i hope u enjoyed❤️ this was just something small. likes & reblogs always appreciated ❤️❤️

[rafeandonlyrafe]

three: barry

words: 1.7k

warnings: 18+ only!!!, bi!rafe and bi!barry, established thruple, threesome, cock warming, dom!rafe, sub!reader and sub!barry, male receiving oral, p in v sex, unprotected sex, male on male action!!!, edging, cum play?

“r-rafe.” you mumble out, pressing your face further forward. “please.” 

rafe ignores your pleas, eyes focused on the football game playing on the television, occasionally eating one of the chips that was dumped into a bowl on the coffee table for all three of you to enjoy.

“i- shit.” barry curses, his dick twitching inside of you, causing you to cry out and push your face further into barrys shoulder, trying to muffle your noise, knowing rafe wants you silent.

“told you not to move.” rafe doesn't even glance over at the two of you, both stripped completely naked, barrys cock buried in your cunt while you sit on his lap, bound to listen to rafes command that he set as your punishment.

“should have just been good.” rafe finally glances over to you. “you're always my good girl.” he tsks.

it's true, whenever you get in any trouble, it's always barrys fault. just like earlier today when he dragged you into the bedroom when rafe specifically told both of you not to do anything until he got home.

“‘m really sorry rafey.” you pout, attempting to bat your eyelashes at him, hoping it would work, but rafe knows better than to look at you and break, snapping his eyes back to the tv.

“shit, how are you still so fucking tight.” barry groans, his hands gripping your hips so hard you know you'll bruise. “even having both of us fuck you, you're still squeezing-shit.”

barry curses again as he twitches, hips involuntarily moving slightly upwards. you cry out, knowing you should hold in your moan but unable to help it.

the sound reaches you before the pain does, rafe reaching over to land a hard spanking on your ass, a warning not to move again.

“it was barrys fault, please!” you whine to rafe, a red palm mark already visible on your ass. it was barry who drug you into the bedroom and shoved his tongue into your cunt, it was him who caused you to scream out and alert rafe.

“yet you were the one getting eaten out.” rafe points out. he knows you wouldn't disobey him, that it was barry who was planning to have you bounce on his dick next, but rafe likes getting to punish you, and even more getting to use you to punish barry.

“im so sorry rafey, ill never be bad again, i wanna be your good girl.”

“oh baby.” rafe finally looks over to you, running his thumb down your cheek. “i know. why don't you wait until the game is done, then your punishment can be over?”

“mkay.” you nod. “love you.” you glance behind your back, mouth gaping when you realize the game only just resumed after half time, and you have possibly hours of punishment left, sitting stuck on barrys cock without moving.

“anything you want to say to me barry?” rafe asks, tilting his head to the side.

“nah, man.” 

it's an interesting dynamic, both rafe and barry being obsessed with you, and infatuated with each other, but each being strong willed.

“okay, no cumming for you then.” rafe just shrugs, leaning over to give you a chaste kiss. “my good girl will get to when im done watching the game.”

“fine!” barry groans. “im fucking sorry. next time we'll wait for you.” 

“that's what i thought.” rafe smirks, turning back to watch the game. 

you bury your head back in barrys shoulder, trying to think of anything to distract yourself from focusing on his length buried inside you, on your pulsing clit just begging to be touched.

you listen to the sounds of the commentators, letting out a sigh of relief every time they say how much time is left in the game, as difficult as it is to remain still, you know rafe will make it all worth it.

“come here, pretty.” rafe pats your thigh. you blink your eyes open, letting out a sigh of relief.

rafe works his pants open, tugging them down enough to pull his cock out. you have to move slowly off of barrys cock, legs having cramped up and fallen asleep in that one position.

“you can just watch.” rafe says to barry as you switch to his lap, letting out a shudder when rafe touches you, even just his hand resting against your waist has you feeling close to the edge.

“ride me. make yourself cum.” rafe says. you waste no time lining up with his cock and sinking down, letting out a moan in relief. rafe helps you bounce up and down, doing most of the work lifting you by your hips and bringing you back down.

“so big, rafey.” you cry out, walls being stretched more than barry, both of them being around the same length but rafe has more thickness to his cock.

“such a good girl for me, come here.” rafe tugs you forward, your lips landing on his in a heated kiss, hands moving all over his chest, wishing it wasn't covered by the football jersey he put on for the game.

“‘m so sorry rafey promise ill be good for you forever and ever.” you glance over to barry, hands clenched and sitting on his thighs as his eyes are watching your cunt move up and down rafes cock, barrys dick hard and red, waiting impatiently to be relieved.

“i know baby.” rafe coos. he takes one hand off his own chest and moves it to your clit. you let out a squeal of relief, rubbing your fingers lower to gather some of your slick before moving back up to your clit.

“get yourself off, baby, come on.” rafe encourages you, pushing you down harder onto his cock with every movement, trying his best not to thrust his hips up into you, wanting you to do the work as a final punishment, even if it is his hands on your hips guiding most of your motions.

“barry doesnt get to cum until you do, you're making him wait so long baby.” rafe glances over at barry, an uncomfortable look on his face.

“come here.” rafe cocks his head to barry, who quickly moves closer on the couch.

“suck her tits, make her get off faster.” rafe says. barry moves to his knees, having to move his head up and down to follow your chest as you ride rafe, his lips wrapping around your nipple and sucking it into his mouth.

“that's good, barry.” rafe moans as you clench around him, your fingers moving faster on your clit.

“close.” you warn, barrys tongue flicking over your nipple, hand moving around your back to round your chest and play with the other one.

“cum for me.” rafe commands, pushing your hips all the way down as your back arches, rubbing yourself quickly to orgasm, your high rushing through your body, causing you to squeal out.

barry pulls away, hand twitching to grip his cock while you fall forward into rafes chest. he gives you a brief moment to relax, to let your cunt slow down it's intense pulsing around his length.

“thank you.” you gasp out, picking your head up to look at rafe. “thank you.”

“you're welcome pretty.” rafe smiles, picking your hips up to get you off his cock like you weigh nothing, setting your sloppy cunt on his thigh. “now why don't you and barry suck me off?”

rafe spreads his thighs while you both move to kneel in front of the couch, barry immediately leaning in to lick a stripe of your pussy juices off rafes cock.

you let barry focus on his length, moving up to suckle on the head of his cock while you kiss over rafes balls, knowing how much he likes when you both focus on him at the same time.

“touch him, y/n.” rafe says. “but barry, you don't get to cum until i do.”

you nod, wrapping your hand around barrys length. for his own sake, you keep your strokes unhurried and steady, not slow enough to piss off rafe, but enough to hopefully make barry last.

you glide your lips up rafes cock, tasting yourself on his dick as you meet barrys mouth at the lead of rafes cock, tongues meeting as you kiss over his tip.

“fuck.” rafe groans, hips twitching up slightly as he sees you making out with each other as well as sucking him off.

you switch places, barry moving down rafes cock to his balls while you swallow around his length, doing your best to deep throat him while keeping your hand stroking over barrys cock.

“so good for me.” rafe hums, hands coming to both of your hairs, barrys now cropped short but still long enough for rafe to grip, while yours is tied back in a ponytail.

you bob your head, ignoring your gag reflex the best you can, tears falling down your cheeks. you last as long as you can until you have to pull off and take in a large gulp of air.

“show her how it's done, barry.” rafe tugs on his hair, pulling him up to take rafes cock in his mouth next. rafe wastes no time pushing him all the way down, knowing how good barry can take his dick.

“close.” rafe warns, looking to you. you nod, not even needing him to use his words as you sink to your stomach on the floor, sucking barrys cock into your mouth.

you wait to hear the moans and grunts that signal rafes orgasm as he shoots deep into barrys throat to really suck at his cock, one of barrys hands moving off rafes thigh to keep your head down as he fills your mouth with cum, barely needing any stimulation after being teased for so long.

you pull off and move back to your knees, opening your mouth up to show barrys cum sitting on your tongue.

“such a good girl.” rafe leans forward, shoving his tongue into your mouth in a messy kiss, sharing barrys cum and each other's spit.

“love you.” you coo to rafe, swallowing barrys cum before leaning to him. “love you too.”

barry nods, his face slackened eyes closed, clearly too exhausted to say anything.

“and i love you both too.” rafe says, petting his hand over your hair. “why don't we get both of you in the bath then we can cuddle in bed?”

“mmm.” you nod. “sounds good.” you trail your fingers up rafes thigh, jealous that you didn't get to taste any of his cum. “as long as i can suck you off in the bath.”

barry perks up at that, his eyes opening as rafe laughs. “god, you two are such sluts.”

“your sluts.” you remind rafe.

taglist: @drewstarkeyslut @forstarkey @f4ll-for-you @dilvcv @drudyslut @jjmaybankswifes-blog @rafescokenostril @jjsmarijuana @seeingstarks @angelofcigs @cece45450 @babygorewhore @vanessa-rafesgirl @michelleisheres-blog @outerbankspov @drewstarkeyswifehoe @cutielando @kamninaries @buckyswhxre @rafeinterlude @bellbottombaby @deeaardiary @rubixgsworld @wearemadeofstardust0 @leighbronk @starkeysheart @pradabambie @tobesolovelysstuff @alexiskirkland @rafestar @brioffthegrid @juniebugg @magicalyoura @die4niyahhh

[csainz5]

Mine || Charles Leclerc #16

pairing: charles leclerc x girlfriend!reader

summary: in which seeing people ship you with other drivers fuels the possessiveness in charles.

author notes: can u tell ive been obsessed with culpa mia. also this is my first charles fic (!!!) i made sm tweaks to the original req im so sorry 😭 deff been in a slump recently bc exams but 🙏 no beta read!! this one is still raw asf lol

req: yes/no.

wc: 1.2k words

————

the air as the weekend approached was filled with an adrenaline of its own. drivers loitering on the paddock, a camera shoved up each one of their faces. most of them were making videos for their teams social media, while others were giving interviews. silly banter & playful hazing surrounded the place as the free practices neared. as calm and laid back as the environment was, a new buzz had taken over the virtual world. it seemed like the redbull fans had taken on a new intrest in a the friendship you and max shared, suspecting it could be more than just friends. you’re shocked as you read through the articles, what could possibly make it seem like you were both in any sense more than just friends? max was like the brother you never had, and you, the sister he had always hoped of having. as much as the articles were delusional, you didnt really care that much about them, i mean why would you be afraid when there’s nothing youre scared of being open to the public? okay, maybe not everything. not the time when you were so drunk you demanded every guy on the paddock to quote “settle it with me on the ring”, not the time when you were the culprit behind the hilarious azerbaijan mix up where you stole the champagne on the podium and replaced it with an empty one, and definitely not the fact that you’re already taken, by a person known to all on the paddock.

—

The morning of the race was always an exhilarating one no matter which team youre driving for, or which team you’re rooting for. the passion, the dedication and the confidence in the each and every drivers persona was enough to fill you in the same mindset. though youve always been a redbull fan, which, i mean is definitely not even surprising considering you probably frequent their garage more than some of their own engineers, youve always held an admiration for all the drivers. even you knew how dominant the redbull cars were, so seeing the rest of the drivers still catch up with less resources filled your heart with pride. you look up at the fan’s waiting impatiently for the race to start with a smile on your face. this, will never get boring, you think.

Lord Percival 👑

can’t find you anywhere near here, don’t tell me you’re ditching me today yet again 😔

a chuckle escapes your lips.

You

i wouldve come over but you’re all the way across rn 😭 i’ll definitely be waiting for you after the race tho.

Lord Percival 👑

wow. way to betray me over text babe

You

okay drama queen 😒

Lord Percival 👑

guess you rubbed off on me then mon jolie

You

ill make it up to you, i always do.

just before you press send, you notice the drivers had already left for their respective interviews. whats the point in sending it now anyways, you decide.

—

the dark looms over the sky as celebrations near. the smell of alcohol, weed and god knows fucking what become all too familiar to you at this point. you reach the party alongside max, which considering he’s your best friend was not out of the ordinary for you, but little did you know, it didn’t help the ongoing rumours one bit. the familiar stench of reporters clogs your mind. what the hell were the doing here? and more importantly why were all of them suddenly taking an intrest in your friendship with max? question after question is thrown at you which makes you realise youve had enough of this. you reach for your phone.

You

screw this party

wanna meet up at our usual spot?

Lord Percival 👑

im always down 🙏

—

you could never get sick of this. the same ride, the same atmosphere, the exact same playlist playing over and over again, the curves of the road as you drive through. because you know, at the end of this journey would be the same thing you look forward to, every time. so you get into you car, and drive the same drive to the same spot, once again. at a pillar reading out “623” you stop by the ferrari you know all too well.

there he was. i could never get used to seeing him like this, you think, dressed up in formals but looking formal in no way whatsoever. shriveled hair, buttons unbuttoned, jewellery he knows how to style in just the right way. his crazed eyes of emerald, gazing into you with an intensity that makes your nerves shiver.

“took you long enough to come here” he says, holding you waist. “it was a longer drive than usual” “is that so?” he says, stepping aside you to rest against his ferrari, right beside you. folding his arms, he continues, pulling a cigarette out of his blazer, “want one?” “please, today was a bitch” “i could say the same for me, really” he reaches towards you, lighting your cigarette. “races in monaco are my favourite” he says, looking up at the sky. “yeah, id imagine so. nothing beats home” “yeah, it’s great to be home and all, but theres also something in monaco that beats the thrill any race could give me” he steps forwards, hands placed beside either sides of you.

he pulls the cigarette from your lips, taking in a puff himself. he brings his lips to your ear, “or rather, theres someone in monaco, who beats the thrill any race could give me” he whispers, blowing the smoke away. he flicks the cigarette aside and steps on it, as he lifts your face up, meeting your eyes with his own. “someone who sighs right when i kiss her here,” he goes on to place a chaste kiss on your mole, right on your neck by your jawline. and like a story repeated enough times, you sigh. “someone who arches her back when i pull her hair slightly like this,” he gently tugs your hair, making a makeshift ponytail and like a telltale, you arch your back, the satisfaction of being right sprawled across charles’s face.

“but of all, the one thing that makes me come back to this place again and again, is knowing that—“ he lifts your hips up, making you wrap your legs around him. “you’re mine.” the second he says that, its like all the dots connected in your head. you never thought charles would be jealous of the rumours, given how he was the one who didn’t want your relationship to be public. “charles, are you jealous?” you ask. “so what if i am?” “well, i for one wouldnt want my boyfriend to be feeling like that anymore” “what do you mean?” you pull out your phone from your clutch, “kiss me” “wait what are you doing?” “i said, kiss me” you say, pulling him in by his jaw. “im conf-“ you kiss him, shutting him up. as he closes his eyes he finds himself to not be able to help himself from drowning into you, well atleast until a flash brings him out of his trance. “im going to post it.” “you don’t have to, you know” “but i want to. i want everyone to know how much you mean to me charles. you’re my favourite person and i would hate to see you be jealous”

——

“i can’t believe you actually did it, jolie” “its the least i could do” you say, pecking his cheek. “but ive gotta say, i definitely wouldnt mind seeing this shade of you more often” “you haven’t seen the end of me yet, mon ange”

[toastsnaffler]

i will ALWAYS be salty abt the ed-sheeranification of one ok rock (one of my fave personality-building anecdotes i explain at parties to ppl getting to know me) but the fact is that takas voice is soooo hot he could sing the words on the back of a milk carton to the tune of a t*ylor sw*ft song + id probably still listen to him. sorry

[aliaology]

HOUSE THAT BUILT ME

summary: reader (older hughes sister) takes a small flight to toronto to say goodbye to the home she grew up in before moving to michigan.

pairings: hughes brothers x older sister!reader

warnings: just angst. part three of my older hughes! sister au so it kinda contradicts never grow up bc i almost made the michigan house be her childhood house with the childhood room line, but the toronto house was her childhood house, i just lowkey forgot they lived in toronto in the first part.

you didn't expect to be here. you didn't expect yourself to take a last minute flight to toronto and stand in the front of the house you used to call home. but you felt drawn to do so, you had to come back one last time. even if people told you you couldn't, you still did.

you felt yourself walking up the stairs. your handprints littered them, along with little quinnys, little jackys, and little little lukeys. the multi-colored handprints were a stark contrast to the white, chipped paint of the porch stairs.

they creaked under you, causing you to step slower. you now stood in front of the screen door that covered the red door. your hand shakily reached up to the doorbell, pressing it. the all-familiar tune played. it wasn't a normal 'ding!' no, your mother made it ring to a beat. one you would tap your foot to every time it was rung.

the door creaked open, revealing a slightly older woman. "can i help you?" she asked, eyes squinted from the sun.

"im so sorry to bother you, i know you dont know me but, i um- i used to live here." you awkwardly laughed. "me and my brothers are actually the kids who did those handprints on the stairs." you informed.

she opened the screen door, stepping out. she had a soft smile on her face and waved you over to the small swing that was on the porch.

you two ended up sitting and talking. "the back bedroom, that was mine. i did my homework on a dainty desk and that room is where i learned to play guitar." you spoke.

a fond smile was on the womans face. "i've never once changed anything in this house since me and my family moved here." she told.

"i couldnt. i actually hoped one of the kids who did those handprints would show up. i like learning of what this place used to be. plus, whoever did that kitchen was amazing." she chuckled.

"my dad helped my mom do that. it was a dream kitchen for her. he helped a lot of her dreams come true with this house." you said.

you looked over the property. the green grass, the live oak, the trees that surrounded the house. you looked back at her.

"do you- do you think i could come in? i just want to look around. i swear as soon as im done, ill leave. i wont take nothing, just my memories." you smiled.

she let you. you found yourself tracing the walls as you walked upstairs. the same texture was there as it used to be. the steps still creaked twice with every step. the air was still cold, as it used to be.

you walked into your old room. the walls were still the dark purple they used to be. it made you remember who you used to be. the happy-go-lucky little girl whos only care in the world were her three younger brothers.

you weren't done looking around, but you already dreaded the idea of leaving. leaving home wasn't what you wanted to do. doing it once was hard enough. you could see yourself, your younger self, sitting at her desk.

feet kicking with a pencil in her hand as she hummed to some random song that she heard on the tv. she would smile every once in awhile as she did her math homework, realizing she understood something.

you could see young jack running in, a water gun in his hand, and shooting you with it, ruining your mood and your homework. you could see little luke rushing in behind him, tackling jack to the ground. little quinn would pin jack down and little you would tickle him as payback. luke and quinn were your little sidekicks.

after awhile, you walked back to the porch. "thank you again, ma'am. this meant a lot to me. it helped being able to see and feel the house again." you told her.

she smiled. "of course dear." you gave her a polite nod and walked down the handprint-filled stairs. you got to see the house that built you, and instead of leaving with tears, you left with a small smile.

tags (perm); @slaythehousebootsdown13 , @um-mads , @outrunangelss