#im sure about his top half at least LOL

[shortkinglink]

despite all my second guessing he came out so cute yayyy

[sturnsbae]

DIFFERENT - CHRIS STURNIOLO

summary: chris hasn’t been acting like his usual self and has been shutting everyone out, including his girlfriend.

warnings: cursing and the use of pet names so if you don’t like it then just read past them lol 😭

—

chris is usually hyperactive, overly energetic, and talkative. it’s practically what he’s known for, but lately he’s been quiet and less motivated to do nearly anything. he’s been shutting everyone out including you. this is odd behavior from him because you’re his prized possession. if your name gets brought up he’s the first to join into the conversation, always eager to boast on your behalf. you’re his girl.

you’ve been trying to ignore it, assuming that it’s just some weird mood he’s in due to the gloomy winter weather. but it’s been a constant thing for almost a week now, and it’s starting to strike you with concern.

you’re sat on his couch with both him and his brothers. everyone is silently glaring between their phone screens and the random movie playing on the tv. chris stands up which catches your attention as his arm falls off of your shoulder. “where are you going?” you ask softly.

“im gonna use the bathroom,” he says blatantly as he walks off into the small hallway next to matt’s room. you furrow your brows and turn your head to nick and matt, who are sat on the other end of the couch.

“has he seemed off lately to you guys?” you ask in a quiet tone. as you say this, nick looks at matt and they both turn their heads back to you, nodding in agreement.

“we’ve noticed it too, but we didn’t wanna say anything to you about it in case we were wrong,” matt says softly, making sure chris doesn’t hear him.

“should i ask him about it?” you ask.

“nah, knowing him he’s just gonna get pissy about it. but whenever we film videos with you he always tends to be happier, so maybe we should all make a video this week. are you free thursday?”

“yeah i should be!” you say as chris exits the bathroom, staring straight down at his phone screen. you sigh as he sits right back down on the couch still looking down at his phone, basically ignoring your presence.

“hey chris, i think i’m gonna head home okay?”

“oh alright, bye love you,” he says as he gives you a little halfassed smile and a very loose hug, all very abnormal behavior from him. usually he’d be bolting off of the couch and holding you in his arms begging you not to leave, or at least he’d be walking you to your car.

you walk out of the house alone, getting in your car with a sigh. you can’t help but wonder if you did something wrong. when you get home, you don’t even bother texting him that you got home safely. usually when you don’t text him that you got home safe, he spam texts you to make sure you’re okay. but this time he didn’t.

—

thursday rolls around, and you use your spare key to get into their house. chris turns around as he hears the door open, looking down the stairs to see what the noise is. when his eyes meet yours, a shocked expression appears on his face. “y/n?”

“hi baby! your brothers invited me to join your guys’ video!” you smile at him, and he just gives a small smile back.

“oh, i didn’t know,” he says monotonously. he waits for you at the top of the stairs, but doesn’t hug you when you reach him. he just half smiles and walks back to the kitchen. you furrow your brows and let out a sigh, but you put on a big smile for his brothers.

“hi guys! what are we filming?” you ask as you set your things down on the couch.

“we’re gonna be playing with kids toys that matt and i bought,” nick says, greeting you with a big hug as you enter the kitchen.

“oh my god that sounds so fun!” you say as you sit down next to chris at the island counter. you lean your head on chris’ shoulder as matt adjusts the camera, but he just keeps looking down at his phone. you sigh loudly, and that’s what eventually gets his attention. “you good?” he asks you.

“yep,” you say coldly. he nods and puts his phone down seeing as matt finally got the camera at a good angle. nick and matt come sit down next to you guys and start filming the introduction to the video.

—

you guys have been filming for about twenty minutes now, and chris has barely been acknowledging you. so you try and make a flirty joke to see if it sparks any reaction out of him. you guys are currently playing with a little robotic lamb that you need to take care of with things such as food, water, rubs, etc.

“aww chris, this is like if we had a baby!” you say jokingly as you feed the little toy lamb.

“ew! i don’t even want to think about that,” matt jokes. both you and nick burst out laughing, but chris just lets out a little chuckle.

“yeah, but i agree i don’t even wanna think about that,” chris says with a cold chuckle to try and smooth over his comment. but no matter the “joking” tone in his voice, it still felt like a stab in the heart. you and chris have always talked about a future together. due to his comment you give a fake eye roll to the camera, but deep down you mean it. at this point chris’ moody behavior is just pissing you off.

eventually the video comes to an end and you take your chance to talk to chris. nick and matt are cleaning everything up off of the counter, and you take chris by his hand and drag him into the living room. “chris, can we talk?” you ask.

“hm? yeah, sure. wanna go to my room?”

“yes please,” you say softly, trying to blink back tears. you’re worried because this conversation could have so many outcomes, and all of the bad possibilities are the ones overtaking your mind. you follow chris down the stairs to his room, and you shut the door behind him. he sits down on his bed and pats the spot next to him. you sit down but don’t make eye contact with him.

“chris… god i don’t even know how to start this,” you chuckle nervously. “are you okay? did i do something? is something going on? you’ve been shutting me out, and apparently you’ve been shutting your brothers out too.”

chris’ eyes turn to look at you, “what are you even talking about? i’m fine.”

you turn your head from the ground to face him,“are you sure chris? even nick and matt said you’ve been acting weird with them. if somethings wrong please just tell me. you know i love you and i’m always here for you.”

“well if you love me then why the fuck did you go to my brothers about this before me? i just told you i’m fine!” he says, raising his voice. you furrow your brows and stand up off the bed. you begin to pace the room as chris just looks down at the ground again.

him raising his voice at you over this pisses you off, so you raise your voice back. “what?! you’re fucking unbelievable chris! all i did was ask if you’re okay because i’m concerned about you, and you just give me attitude and raise your voice at me? what the fuck has gotten into you lately!”

he just scoffs and that does it for you. “chris i think we need to take a break. you aren’t communicating your feelings with me, and as soon as i ask if you’re okay you get mad at me for that? i’m sooo sorry for being fucking concerned about my boyfriend!” you yell back, tears now welling in your eyes. but chris doesn’t say anything, instead his eyes are glued to the floor and his elbows are resting on his thighs.

“you seriously have nothing to say?! you’re not even gonna act like you wanna fight for us?” you say as hot, salty tears stream down your cheeks.

“i mean you want a break and i respect you so…” chris mumbles but loud enough that you can understand him.

you just laugh at how unbelievable he’s being. “seriously chris, i don’t know what the fuck is wrong with you lately but somethings changed. you’re different, and not in a good way,” you say as you wipe the tears on your cheeks and storm up the stairs.

nick and matt try their best to pretend they didn’t hear you guys arguing, but you know that they did. your eyes are bloodshot and your mascara is smudged, but they don’t pay any attention to it. nick wraps you in a hug and whispers, “i’m so sorry babe. we’re gonna sort this out, i’m not letting him give up on you guys this easily.”

you pull back from the hug and smile at nick, watching as matt comes over to pull you into a hug as well. “we’re not officially broken up, it’s just a break. but no matter what happens i still love you guys and i hope we can all be friends. i’ll see you guys,” you smile faintly.

“are you sure you’re good too drive?” matt asks, and you nod as you grab your things and head out. you manage to keep yourself composed on the drive home, but as soon as your key unlocks the door to your apartment the tears start flowing again. your chest feels so unbearably heavy and your breathing starts to quicken rapidly. you sit yourself down on the floor and rest your back against the door. your knees are against your chest, and you’re sure that the entire complex can hear your sobs. you’re just glad you live alone.

it’s now been hours since you left the sturniolos, and chris has just been laying in his bed staring at the ceiling. he hasn’t even changed out of the jeans and t shirt he was wearing, his mind is just consumed with you and the words you spat out at him.

—

it’s been nearly a week, and you and chris haven’t texted at all. the only form of contact you’ve had is liking each other’s instagram stories, nothing more than that.

you’ve left the house maybe a total of three times in the last week, and so has chris. he’s barely even been able to leave bed to film, but he knows that youtube is his life so he puts on a fake for the camera. as soon as the video ends, he goes straight back to his bedroom and locks himself in there for hours at a time. his brothers are overly concerned, but they know he needs his space so they don’t bug him about it.

he’s been miserable without you, and the fact that he knows it’s his fault makes it eat at him even more. he lost the love of his life because of his own cowardly mind, and it’s killing him. he’s typed out nearly a million texts, but he hasn’t sent any of them.

you decide that it’s been long enough with out chris, and you realize he isn’t gonna text you first, so you face your fears and text him.

you: hey, can we meet up? i feel like we need to talk about things

chris: yeah of course. meet at our spot in 30?

you: yeah that’s perfect

you and chris had found a hidden gem in griffith park about a year ago and you guys claimed it as “your spot.” you’ve never taken anyone there besides him, and neither has he. there’s even a little wooden fence at the spot with your guys’ initials engraved in a heart.

you throw on a sweatshirt and drive yourself to the park. to your surprise, chris is already there sitting and looking off into the city view. “hey,” you say softly as you sit on the grass next to him.

he immediately turns to look at you, and that’s when you see the dark circles under his eyes. you gasp and immediately reach out and touch his face. “chris oh my god, you look sick! have you slept at all?” you say with a sudden pit in your stomach.

“a little, yeah. not much but don’t worry, i’m fine. how have you been?” he asks, even his voice sounds sickly.

“i’ve been alright. i’ve missed you.”

“i’ve missed you so much more, y/n. i’m so sorry for how i acted,” he pleads.

“can i ask why? why did you shut me out?”

“it’s so stupid, y/n.”

“you know i could never think you’re stupid, especially when it comes to your feelings. your feelings are never stupid, chris. so tell me, please?”

“i started getting in my head about things. you’re so unbelievably sweet, and caring, and perfect. i don’t deserve you y/n, that’s why i shut you out. i felt like it was easier to just make you hate me then to actually tell you how i was feeling. i can only see myself with you, but i got so worried that you’d realize you’re too good for me, so i thought that maybe if you broke up with me now then i wouldn’t get as hurt later on. i get more and more attached to you every fucking day, y/n. so i was just in my head and felt like you’d one day realize you can do so much better than me, so i just wanted to get the pain over with,” chris says as he bites the insides of his cheeks.

“chris, oh my god? you think i’m too good for you? that’s the furthest thing from the truth! if anything, you’re too good for me! i’d never ever leave you chris, you don’t ever have to worry about that. i can only see myself with you, and i mean it,” you say as tears begin streaming down your cheeks.

“i’m so sorry y/n. i never meant any of it, and im sorry i didn’t fight for us. i wanted to, i really did, but i couldn’t. if you love someone you have to let them go, so that’s what i did. i watched you walk out of my room knowing it was my fault, and it killed me,” chris says softly as tears start falling from his eyes as well.

you pout and wipe his tears with your thumb. “come here baby,” you say pulling him into your chest and running your fingers though his hair. the brunette boy pushes his body against you as close as he can, and you just squeeze him tighter.

“i love you,” you say.

“i love you even more, you have no fucking idea,” he says as he pulls his body away from yours and wipes your tears.

“but really chris, have you slept at all? you look so ill,” you say with a concerned tone.

“not much, i got maybe 1 to 2 hours a night. you never left my mind once, the feeling was eating me alive. i couldn’t sleep knowing you were mad at me.”

“oh chris, let’s go home and take a nap. you deserve it, sweet boy.”

[wonwoonlight]

when you can't sleep but shua is right next to you.

A/N: it's 11 in the evening here and i wrote this in, like, 20 minutes for all of u who were wishing for shua's shiny star, or you who have trouble sleeping. I hope this very small gift means something to any of you🩶 this is definitely not proofread bc im falling asleep now lol good night

You turn on your bed. Once. And then twice.

And then once again.

You bite your lip as you try to listen to Shua's soft breathing just in case he awakes because of your constant shifting.

He is already asleep the moment you return home, and you quietly wash up and join him on the bed because the day has been long and you honestly just want it to end already.

It would be better if you could be in Shua's arms right now, but at least he's next to you and you're just glad at least one of you is sleeping properly.

He seems like he needs it anyway; God knows he's even busier than you are.

When you're sure Shua is still deep in his sleep, you turn once again, this time to face him.

You don't think you'd ever get tired of watching his face, asleep or awake. He's so beautiful either way, but asleep, Shua looks so peaceful and whatever weight that would burden him when he's awake can't bother him in this state.

For that, you're more than grateful.

Shua is the more emotional and sensitive one between the two of you, and it's definitely not something that you complain about. But it means he seems to understand you more than you do him so sometimes you feel useless when you know he's not feeling his best.

He's been a little too busy these days, which worries you, but there's nothing you can really do about it. Hence, you're simply glad that at least he's sleeping properly.

Unlike you.

You're tired, your eyes are heavy, and you're sleepy, but your body refuses to succumb to sleep for some reason. You don't know what's stopping you from sleeping.

So you do what brings you comfort: watch your lover sleep. Your palm reaches out to his face, and when your thumb caresses the apple of his cheek, Shua leans to your touch even in his sleep.

You spend a few moment just like that. Time always seems like an illusion when you're with him, because you don't know how much time has passed until Shua slowly opens his eyes and immediately stares into your eyes.

"Why are you awake?" He asks, voice heavy with sleep.

You offer nothing but a hum, your fingers moving from his face into his hair.

"Can't sleep again?" Even half asleep, Shua can tell the smile you give him is defeated. So he reaches out to pull you into his chest instead, the position uncomfortable but not unwelcome. "Let's stay like this for a bit, hm?"

It's hard to hold him back in this position, so you decide to bask in his hold and the sound of his heartbeat instead. You think you feel his lips on top of your head, and Shua starts humming the familiar melody that always bring you comfort, his palm rubs your back in a slow pattern.

Up and down.

Up and down.

Up and... down.

He chuckles when he hears your soft snore, looking down at your sleeping figure before maneuvering you both into a more comfortable position.

A few minutes later, he falls back to sleep with his fingers buried in your hair and the soft pattern of your breath.

[useless-donut]

just thinking about astarion is SUCH a sweet partner? like this man was barely an adult elf when he was turned, and spent the next 200 years being abused by cazador, but like

- as the durge character, he'll be accepting and talk about your mental health and reassure you

- he'll insist on staying with your half illithid character, saying you shouldnt make his choices for him if you try to leave to protect him

- also just the dichotomy of him being explicitly vain and also explicitly not shallow is very sweet

- in that one lathanders light scene, he'll tell you he appreciates you trying to fix your mistake after you caused him IMMENSE pain

- he'll empathize with and support you if you swear your body to haarlep, noting how he's been through similar and is sorry you're going through it

- hes not jealous, his issues with sharing seem to largely come from if he thinks the other party would be okay with it (like he thinks lae'zel would spear him lol), and when someone like halsin comes along he'll happily consent

- on that note, he grows enough to be comfortable asking for support and reassurance instead of possessiveness/jealousy (not that these are the only options for that scenario, but astarions seen a lot of possessiveness in his life and its wonderful how much he avoids replicating it)

- he will always attack cazador in the final confrontation if cazador starts verbally abusing you instead of him

- he puts in the work to set boundaries that allow him to engage in an intimate (emotionally, physically, but not sexually) romantic relationship with tav and apologizes for "using" him before, when his behavior was SO understandable. and also he manipulated tav by having... consensual enjoyable sex lol. he might have ulterior motives but he never actually tries to use his sexual relationship with tav to manipulate him into doing anything

- you learn how astarion felt for Sebastian and how tender he was

- you learn about the first boy astarion couldnt bear to bring to cazador, the one he called soft and sweet (or something like that) and then was punished horribly for a straight year for it

- even when you turn to a half illithid, his main concern is you losing your agency

- if you are a full illithid, at the end of the game, some people complain about him not being ride or die, but i think he shows REMARKABLE willingness and support. what he cares about most is that you are still you, and how is he supposed to know for sure? i think asking him to stay with a type of being known for manipulation and mind control after everything he went through with cazador IS A HUGE FUCKING ASK. and he doesnt even write you off immediately? thats a lot of love right there

- if you arent illithid, he will double-check you want to plan a future with him still, and only once you affirm this will he express how badly he wants it. he's actively avoiding trying to manipulate you even

and probably more stuff im just not thinking of off the top of my head. obviously this is about the spawn route vs. ascended, but im just constantly amazed that despite EVERYTHING astarion has gone through, probably centuries without a healthy, loving relationship or even examples of that nearby, he still defaults to being kind, empathetic, and caring as soon as he gets the chance

like sure, he might be minorly evil and self-serving but personally i think thats the least he deserves

more importantly, the boys from astarions past give us a rare window into what he was like before turning into a vampire—he was gentle, empathetic lover. he was kind, he was protective. and as soon as he has the space to start looking for himself again, he goes RIGHT back to that behavior. he even self-checks for his "manipulation" and tries to correct for it

it just shatters my heart and then puts it back together hes such a wonderfully written character. astarion is allowed to be lovely AND furious and vengeful and maybe its just my raised-catholic ass, but its SO cathartic to see that a forgiveness arc is never pushed for his abuser

[nono-uwu]

hi this is kind of random but. ive seen a few posts so far from people in the fandom expressing they don't like/aren't interested in mikayuu anymore and i was curious if you knew why? it's been like a long time since i was into ons (like 2018? 😭) so im pretty out of the loop and was wondering if smth crazy happened ig lol 😭

I'm more of a recent addition to the fandom (watched/read ons for the 1st time in 2021 lol) but here's what I observed I think (not sure if you've read the manga but just in case huge spoiler warning)(also I may or may not be biased against them since my favs are the vampires and shinoa squad without mikayuu lol):

- there is just too much of them. Obviously they're the main characters but ons always had a colorful cast of characters and a lot of them (mainly Shinoa squad tbh) were sidelined during the shibuya arc and basically turned into cardboard cutouts that shout "Yuu!" every few chapters. Though they did get their personalities back in ch 133, it took way too long imo.

- Mikayuu barley changed as people and their relationship stayed basically the same. Once they reunited and Mika 'joined' Shinoa squad their relationship dynamic could be boiled down to: Yuu is kinda stupid and wants to do smth bc fAmLIy or whatever, Mika disagrees, Yuu does the equivalent of puppy dog eyes, Mika begrudgingly agrees, Yuu gets what he wants with minimal consequenz. After a while it's just not interesting to have the main character constantly winning. Heck, Mika's 'death' and demon transformation barley did anything in the long run.

Like at one point, it got brought up that Mika is losing his emotions for everything except Yuu, which was a pretty interesting idea and could have brought conflict into their realtionship. But a few weeks later (in-story, took a few years irl lol) Mika gets turned into a demon, regains his emotions and the former conflict is left in the dust.

Now with Mika as a demon, he lost all of his agency. He is literally stuck to Yuu and the most he can do against him is refuse to give him power but Yuu can just force it out of him so. Pretty fucked.

After they split off from the main group post Shibuya arc, they once again have an inkling of a conflict.

For context, they split off bc Yuu had to either choose between resurrecting humanity or only Mika (at least that's how Guren phrased it). Yuu's gayass chose Mika and at first they had an argument bc Mika doesn't value his life and would rather have everyone revived at his expense. Yuu goes 'nuh-uh' and makes a run for it, devoures Asuramaru/Ashera in the process.

Once they've run off, Mika confornts Yuu and shouts at him, saying he should have a happy life with his human family instead of Mika. Yuu once again goes "nuh-uh" and decides to revive all of humanity, Mika included.

- They restate their goal, plans and whatnot too much. Ons is a monthly manga with ~35 pages per chapter. In Mikayuu centric chapters, almost half (if not all) are wasted on restating the goals they've stated LAST FUCKING CHAPTER. Maybe Kagami doesn't trust the readers memory but man, you didn't do this before, did you? Why now all of a sudden? There's plenty of plot to get through, we can reread old chapters if we forget something.

There's also way too much goofing around. Obviously down-time is needed in any action packed series but we've gotten so much random cut-ins of Yuu needing food in what are supposed to be tense moments. Also we do not need an entire chapter of them hunting, eating and talking about their plans and others plans.

-

This is all I remembered off the top of my head, anyone feel free to add more

[2n2n]

hi!! i have two questions, i apologize in advance that theyre about mitsuba and kou, but theyre also about the yugi twins, so i hope u can forgive me...

first!! i see a lot of ppl complaing/being sad that hanako and kou dont really have any moments interacting together anymore, posting screenshots, mourning their lost early series friendship ... and i dont really get it? to me, hanako never really liked kou, he was more "playing pretend" to appease nene, he doesnt seem to value him as a friend... theres the "kid"(<deragatory) he does, to emphasize that he is the Older, Experienced Guy in this relationship and kou doesnt have anything of value to add... but then again, ive never really sat down to reread everything in one go, so i might be missing something... do you have anything to say on hanako and kous relationship and how/why it developed?

second question!! i noticed that mitsuba and kou both have a favorite twin who they are friends with and a twin who they think is an evil, violent, perverted psychopath, and those twins are swapped between them lol

so i wanted to ask, do you have any thoughts/opinions on mitsubas and kous outsider perspective on the yugi twins? who has what aspects of them right/wrong? could a fight over who the better yugi twin is cause a rift large enough to stop their budding romance?(<hyperbole)

im sorry if this got really long, and these are less concrete questions and more me pondering things and then presenting my half-baked thoughts to you for examination, but i always really enjoy your interpretations of anything tbhk so i thought id do it anyways >.<

Ohhh its fine haha, there are no characters I truly hate (I JUST JOKE...) & I like talking about everything in the manga, as everything has some sort of place in the themes or story! And I do care about all relationships from character to character, even if I might find that character annoying on a personal level HAHA. I like the entire 'voice' of JSHK!!! It's all a part of the beautiful web c:

I would say, Yes, I agree 100%! I've talked about it before myself. I don't see Hanako and Kou as best friends, and I'm not sure what incredible moments of pure friendship people are remembering (probably mostly... ch9?). Hanako both creates distance by using 'kid' (indeed making Kou always out to be more ignorant or childish than him…) and even Kou creates a distance by using only 'Hanako' (no honorifics-- Kou is actually generally quite deferential and polite to people he respects like Nene-chan or Akane.... he is a 'good boy'! When he meets Hanako, of course he thinks he is a monster, so he doesn't use honorifics… but he also doesn't correct this, later. While dropping honorifics can also be a sign of intimacy, that only counts if the other person has given you some kind of permission, or after knowing someone a long time … Hanako never uses honorifics for others himself, because he sees himself as above everyone, and wants to impress distance … and I'm sure because he is 'nanaban-sama'. He only really uses honorifics when menacing Nene or Akane about "Aoi-chan".)

I think in reality, most Hanako and Kou interactions point to something contentious between them waiting to snap, as I've discussed before.

In fact, we now know explicitly that Hanako loves his little brother & sought to save & protect him, so for sure a wedge was driven between Kou and Hanako the moment Kou declared revenge on Tsukasa. Hanako's blank stare, [... ...I see.] should make sense when looked back on! Quietly logging that Kou might become a problem for him, later.

At the very least, you have to imagine he is more loyal to his yorishiro than he is to this ugly kid. If push came to shove.

We see plenty of Hanako resenting Kou.

On top of that … he's competing with Kou for Nene-chan, not only her time & attention but even the right to influence her life or save her. Both in Picture Perfect & Severance, Hanako expresses this VERY directly.

Despite initially being OK with Kou making efforts to save Nene-chan, he completely walks that back in Picture Perfect; his sense of possessiveness and jealousy cannot in fact handle it at all. Sometimes people get attached to a particular older manga scene, and see it as inconsistency or random when that aspect has changed, but honestly, I think it's always a realistic character beat. Hanako once welcomed Kou to try to save Nene-chan, back in volume 6,

but .... as he got closer to Nene-chan, he instead pursues Picture Perfect & then the Severance as his own aggressive, forceful solutions, which no longer factor in Kou as anything but an impotent annoyance. Hanako once, incorrectly, 'thought he wouldn't care', but he in fact does! This is a form of character development I think a lot of people refuse to acknowledge, in Hanako (... maybe people think 'character development' can only mean positive traits or improving, and not something like becoming more aggressive or possessive? <- but being more attached & true to himself IS'positive' development for Hanako. Becoming yandere isn't a bad thing in AidaIro-sensei world </3). Over 20 volumes in, there's no need to cling to perceptions of their dynamic which they have evolved away from.

So.... you have Kou shounen protag shouting "I'll save everyone!" while Hanako is being a yandere like "nobody can ever touch Yashiro's lifespan but ME". This isn't a recipe for best friends.

I remember when ^ this ^ chapter came out, some people were upset/shocked that Kou could still talk easily about destroying Hanako, but I have no idea why. Hanako has only repeatedly proven himself unstable and untrustworthy since those early-manga moments (if a friendship stems from ignorance, what is it worth?). It is only Kou's dedication to Nene-chan that makes him help Hanako in the Far Shore ... Nene-chan is pure of heart so, perhaps so long as she doesn't see him as a lost cause, or as long as Hanako doesn't hurt her, he will try to believe her, and stand by her.

The thing Kou does have going for him, is his faith in Nene-chan to bring out the best in Hanako, to reach his heart. I think ultimately Kou himself isn't sure about the truth lying within Hanako, & he knows it won't be him that draws it out. To him, it could end up that he's completely crazy & dangerous & has to be shot like a rabid dog lol, or that there's something good in there. He's fence-sitting between Teru & Nene's extreme positions.

My favorite very earnest, honest Kou moment among them, is this... when he is approaching Nene-chan, after the meeting with Teru & Akane, during the Severance.

Kou checks in with Nene-chan because he's not sure where SHE'S at with all of this.

The actions he takes in the Far Shore are less "to save Hanako, as his friend" but "to save Hanako, for Nene-chan".

meanwhile, for your second inquiry:

Didn't a fight over Tsukasa already interrupt their relationship? Mitsuba relies on Tsukasa constantly,repeatedly,and this very fact made Kou cry, feeling jealous & inadequate, LOL. Kou's whole complex is that he wants to be trusted & relied on, and Mitsuba instead running to Tsukasa every time he is in trouble, racks up Kou's resentment towards Tsukasa. Isn't it so funny…MULTIPLE ARCS OF THIS!!!!

I would say neither Kou nor Mitsuba really trust the Yugi twins, or understand them, any of them, despite each being allied towards one in some flimsy sense. I think Mitsuba is correct that Hanako is a psycho pervert... uhhhh all of their interactions are SO terrible LOL

and uh....

(^I love this moment SO much ^ completely unnecessary out of pocket Hanako moment!!!!! No reason for you to look so crazy!!! DID YOU HAVE TO CAST SHADE??? lame weak Mitsuba .... haha... I love Hanako ahhh </3 Mitsuba is so pathetic & stupid to him.... such disrespect in PP!)

^ KouMitsu fans should love this protective Mitsuba moment, him staring at Hanako like this while clinging to Kou...

In mmmany ways I guess I don't think Kou or Mitsu are loyal to the Yugi beside them, wouldn't necessarily come to their defense any more than Mitsuba does in the Aquarium chapters (which only really argue a necessary dependency; though I think it's really interesting that in PP, Mitsuba defends his CHOICE to ally with Tsukasa, not WANTING to be seen as only Tsukasa's victim or helpless.)

Kou holds Mitsuba's loyalty to Tsukasa against him, but for some reason as we've seen thus far, Mitsuba does not hold Kou's loyalty to Hanako (or Teru, who tries to kill him) against him. I'd say Mitsuba is actually more humble/gracious & a little more self-aware than Kou-- and also devalues himself, wouldn't ask Kou to give up anything for him, because he is worthless (the entire point of his willing attempt at suicide in the Aquarium chapters). Kou screams & throws lightning around when he feels anything Bad, so more disquiet is expressed at Mitsuba. Kou feels more demanding & holds more uhm.... ambitions for what he 'wants' their relationship to be (one where he is depended on, is Mitsuba's hero). So there is probably more likely to be more conflicts surrounding Tsukasa....

I wonder if Hanako will ever do something so directly terrible that it would cause Kou to loosen his allyship to Nene-chan, and increase his allyship to Mitsuba. I would like that tbh, and it would bolster their dynamic to me, & I could respect Kou's stance more. As it is, it's hard to say much about his loyalty to Mitsuba, which is kinda only simultaneous to his loyalty to Nene-chan .... I would like Kou's fence-sitting about the Hanako situation to finally really hurt Mitsuba maybe, some day. If I had to have an opinion on it.

I wonder what Nene-chan coming to like/defend Tsukasa would do to Kou's stance against Tsukasa? What if everyone but Kou liked the little bugger in some way.... haha. That would be idealistic for me.

I would also find it interesting if Mitsuba actually had to do something meaningful to defend or protect Tsukasa. Curious if the vague ghost memories in Mitsuba's head in the recent chapters will culminate in any kind of reaching out to Tsutsu. Ultimately, is Tsukasa someone who tormented Mitsuba, or someone who saved & comforted him repeatedly? His active mind rejects the concept, but maybe his subconscious would feel otherwise. I dunno. A lot is ambiguous.

A bit of a tangent I guess there... so theorhetical. Well, nobody really likes the Yugi except for each other & Nene-chan.

[fatmasc]

Top surgery while fat!!!!

I got inverted T/anchor T top surgery on feb 13 2023 after many many years of wanting it. Heres some stuff i learned and dealt with over that process:

I live in a state where transgender healthcare must be covered by insurance according to state law. Despite this, i felt unable to try and bill through insurance. This is because the requirements for top surgery approval involve getting approved by a gender therapist who you have seen for at least a year and then getting approved again by the clinic you are applying to. Almost every trans person i know who did this had to reapply multiple times because theyre were rejected for unclear reasons. And if you get approved you are often waitlisted for at least a year bc there are only so many top surgeons in jn the state

Thats not even touching on how most surgeons have a low BMI barrier here, so i was more likely to be rejected by insurance through that alone (apparently the primary place ppl seek top surgery in my state has since changed this but it was too late for me)

I sought informed consent surgery (read: completely paid out of pocket) with a well-regarded surgeon. This guy was one of my least favorite people because his bedside manner was so dismissive and i was told to lose weight multiple times. If his nursing staff wasnt so awesome and i not so desperate i might have put off surgery to seek out another surgeon. This is a problem i have heard from multiple other ppl who seek surgery from him: he sucks but his results are good

On his initial application form, my surgeon lists his BMI barrier as 36. At consultation, he told me the hard cap is 40. I would be operated on if i was above 36 but turned away day of surgery if my BMI was 40. I spent the five months between my consultation and surgery date losing 30 pounds to make sure i could get this surgery

My surgeon is already able to charge a hefty amount because his practice is so well known, but that combined with a) recent inflation and b) his statement thay i would need an extra hour on the table and therefore more anesthesia meant i was charged even more! Compared to a recent quote from another person who saw him, i was charged about $1000+ more for my surgery

The operaton went without hitch and so far recovery has gone wonderfully. I was finished half an hour before expecred and the anesthesiologist only asked me if i have had past issues w anesthesia. As far as i can tell, my weight has had very little to do with that. It is super weird to feel nerves reconnecting but finally the way i look in the mirror matches the way i look in my head.

Im happy to answer questions ab top esp while im still recovering! Im still a little bewildered that its finally happened and i dont think itll fully hit me until i can actually get dressed on my own lol

[lacefuneral]

hi!!! i love for custom blog theme,, do you have a link to the code or creator 0:?

ya!

so my theme is actually a heavily modified version of redux edit #1 by lopezhummel (current url: holyaura). i always remind users that most tumblr themes are old and that you'll need to replace all instances of "http://" in the code with "https://" so tumblr will save the theme. i had to do it with this one

these are the modifications i made to the theme. i edited this theme over the course of at least a year or so and don't quite recall how i did all of these things. but to the best of my ability:

i moved the "left side img" to the right side of the screen. i also made this element "responsive" so the image will never get cropped when you resize your screen. this was a bitch and a half to figure out and i truthfully do not remember how i did it

i deleted the text in the drop-down navigation so it appears as a little line that is otherwise not noticeable. this type of theme, the "redux edit," used to be very popular because having a drop-down menu let you cram a bunch of links that lead to sub-pages on your blog. i've done away with my sub-pages, but i still like the format of the "redux style" tumblr theme, for its minimal UI and for its customization options.

i separated my mobile description from my web description for formatting reasons. basically, most elements in tumblr themes are connected to specific text fields and toggles. i simply went to the section that was connected to my blog description and deleted it. the web description has to be manually typed inside of the CSS/HTML editor when i want to change it. whereas my mobile description is whatever i type in the "description" box of the normal tumblr theme editors.

i added code someone else made ("NoPo" by drannex42 on GitHub) which allows you to hide posts with certain tags on them. i did this to hide my pinned post, as it looks bad on desktop.

i replaced the tiny pagination arrows at the bottom with images that literally say "next" and "back" because the arrows were far too small/illegible. i know they aren't centered in the container i'm not sure how to fix that lol

i added a cursor

i installed a working music box ("music player #3" by glenthemes), and then added music by uploading MP3 files to discord and then using the links of those files as the audio sources. iirc i also had to make this element responsive and i aligned it so it would sit on the left side of my screen. i made the "album art" for each one the same strawberry pixel art

the moth is just a PNG i added and then moved around so it was behind my sidebar using the options that came pre-packaged with the theme

if you want something like the strawberry shortcake decoration at the top (called "banner" in the theme) your best bet is to google "pixel divider"

theme didn't support favicon so i added that in so i could have a little heart

ALSO:

this theme is. really weird about backgrounds. any background that i have ever set for it, i've had to do weird shit in photoshop. like making the background HUGE, mirroring it, etc. - because it would crop the image weird, or there would be a gap where there was no image. idk man, it's haunted. i'm sure there's a way to fix this but i am NOT tech savvy enough. anyway, patterns are probably your best friend. and if you DO want something that isn't a pattern, it's going to take a lot of trial and error. but i love this theme so i deal with it 😭

the sidebar image and the floating image do not scale. if your image is 1000 pixels, it will display at 1000 pixels. you'll either have to edit the code so that the theme scales the image for you, or resize any images before you add them

my white whale of theme editing (aside from the Weird Background thing) is that i cannot get infinite scrolling to work. i have tried every code out there. all of them break my theme. it makes me sad because like. i have music there for a reason. the idea is that people would listen to it while they scroll. unfortunately, the way it's set up now, the music will stop every time someone clicks "next" or "back" 💀

anyway sorry for rambling but i hope you enjoy the the theme and customizing it in the way that you want to!

[cerealmonster15]

okay but when you aren't at practice i would Love to hear your thoughts on riddle/floyd though

HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEE thank u i love an excuse to talk excessively about Characters

i COULD link to some other post i could probs find where i talked about them a lot already. HOWEVER. i also love to repeat myself. i want excuses to do it AGAIN!!! sorry it is Long. teehee.

ok anyway. riddle/floyd, love those funny little guys. initially? like 2+ years ago? wasn't a fan, but i also did not like the octavinelle boys At All in the early days fklsdjfkldj but i warmed up to them by the end of book 4 bc they were Silly 😌

as for riddle and floyd together, my initial thought at first glance was "what da heck, floyd's just mean to riddle, that wouldnt work, i dont like it 😤

BUT through the power of obsessively rewatching scenes over and over again and getting a closer look at character vibes and motives [and also fun fanart lol], i have CHANGED MY MIND. mostly. i mean floyd is still floyd LOL but we'll get to that.

so my main thoughts for them could be one of two things: floyd having a one sided obnoxious crush on riddle and poking at him for attention/cuz it's funny, OR <- that but with the added layer of floyd picking on him half bc he thinks it's funny and half with some sincerity behind it [ill get to that] + floyds loose chaos way of existing is a good contrast to riddle who was forced to be Perfect and Proper and Rigid his whole life; he needs people to shake him loose a bit and teach him to learn to have fun and be a goofy lil guy!!! with time and growth they could balance each other out real well i think.

SO. yes on one hand riddle gets Upset with floyd and there are def times where it's like "uhuh floyds just bein mean for his own enjoyment and riddle's got the right to be upset here imo" like i think of i thhhiiiink floyd's regular uniform R vignette of an example of floyd picking on riddle for fun and riddle getting understandably upset, maybe getting a lil personal with his reaction but still i get him being like "why the fuck are you so awful to me get away" like. not off to a great start LOL but i actually really like that story. ive read it several times bc i feel like floyd and riddle's reactions to each other are interesting. the ambiguity [at least, i think it's ambiguous, im really not sure dklfjd] of floyd being like "....im bored now. bye." <- being either "was he upset when riddle compared him to jade/bit back at him, or did he really just have his regular mood swing and get bored? what was he feeling there???" also i just think it's funny how riddles like "huh, did i go too far and upset him...? oh well i dont care 🚶‍♂️" jsklfjdsl

ok ANYWAY. theyre complex and that's fun to me. i think however there are SEVERAL instances where floyd picking on riddle doubles as looking out for him - though im unsure if that's coincidence or intentional on floyd's part.

i can think of at least three off the top of my head: vargas camp 1 event, halloween 1, and the very start of book 4 when you're saying bye to everyone before they go home for the holidays.

Vargas Camp 1 scene [spoilers obviously lol]: the scene where people have gone MISSING and everyone's FREAKED OUT and they're by the fireplace. poor sweet lil riddle is shivering and very cold!!! floyd makes fun of him ldsfjds he's like "goldfishie, your lips are turning blue! if your hair turns blue too, i'll have to think of something else to call you lol" and riddle Gets Mad and is all "FLOYD why are you messing around RIGHT NOW OF ALL TIMES!!! TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY!!!" all red faced and 😡 so angy!!! floyd just laughs and is like "hehe glad you're all red and warm now 😌" <- so this is what i mean by it's POSSIBLE he did that on purpose, knowing it would make riddle mad and by extension make him all warm and toasty lol. it also could just be that he wanted to pick on him and it happened to also help djfkldsj. ALSO! right after that when riddle gets SNATCHED, floyd makes a comment about how the shadow beast must be strong because "even goldfishie's gone". just cute that he acknowledges riddle's skills there 😌

halloween 1: around the very end of the event when the second years are having their post party talking time, there's a scene where jade's still running around being Helpful and floyd + riddle are both like "hey man relax, come eat something" but the SECOND riddle says something to jade, floyd IMMEDIATELY turns around and is like "hahaha you're such a hypocrite, youve barely been eating anything yourself you tiny tiny cranky goldfishie" and riddle's all I Eat The Daily Recommended Calorie Intake. bjkldfjdsg. anyway floyd makes him mad but then hes all 👀 when silver mentions CAKE but then pretends hes too full. floyds like "uhuh well there's always room for dessert so let's go" and tugs riddle along with him and the others to go find cake lol. now on one hand you could look at that as Not Listening to Riddle and Doing Whatever, which i think is a totally valid interpretation too. BUT the way i see it is more of floyd being like "you're not fooling anyone here, we can all see you want to do this thing but you will not allow yourself to indulge, you need that push to enjoy yourself bc you havent learned to give in to indulgences so im going to give you that push". it's a cute scene of second years partying lol.

book 4 mirror scene: when riddle shows up to go home, he's distracted and low energy. he's gotta go home and wants to Face His Mother. having the dread of facing an overbearing parent, not wanting to go home for the holidays, i get it, it's a mood dampener. the other heartslabyul boys are all like 😔bc ya, sore topic, rough and heavy. then floyd shows up fdsklfdsklfjlk and he's like "what's the matter? dont wanna go home? then dont 😌 stay here with us! we can keep a tiny goldfishy as a pet hehehehehe" or something like that lol. the SECOND floyd shows up riddle is SCOWLING and COMPLAINING jfkldjsfl. even jade is like 😐floyd do not pry into his personal family life 😐 <- as if he's not a nosy bitch himself LOL. anyway!!!!! floyd's comment about riddle being a teeny goldfish makes him all mad and 😡 again and trey/cater gotta diffuse the situation like the mvp besties they are lfjsd. riddle's like "well anyway i do NOT wanna hang out with octavinelle for the holidays good BYE!!! 😤" and trey comments about how at least he seems like he's back to his regular self. i think again, you could see this as floyd just picking on riddle bc he likes picking on riddle, which i think is very true here lol, BUT if you read between the lines i do think it's a valid thought to look at it as like, floyd saw riddle down in the dumps and gave him something to get riled up about to distract him from his gloominess. i mean he made him mad jfldksjf but it was still more of the riddle theyre Used To and he was no longer sulking?? lol, that one may be a little more of a stretch but i stand by it as a possibility!!!

because!!! i wont get into it too much but it has been shown on several accounts that like, floyd's a smart dude when he wants to be. i fully believe he understands people decently well if he cares to, and has his own way of how he chooses to navigate it. like this part isnt about riddle but in one of the beans events, i think beans 2? when they spot malleus and lilia sparring, i think epel or someone's like "oh we could gang up on lilia and help malleus defeat him!!" but floyd stops them and is more or less like "nah they're havin fun over there doin their thing. we should leave them. if i were riled up havin fun like that i wouldnt want someone comin along to spoil it" or something like that. so like i think he's got compassion for other people at times and will act accordingly if he wants to. he's a very interesting multifaceted character!!

also heehee funny fish boy pokes fun at funny tiny red boy. opposites attract is just a fun dynamic i always like 😌

some other misc things i like with them:

in halloween 2, when they're initially gonna go in the mirror, floyd and riddle BOTH wanna just charge headfirst into it without a second thought fksdjflkd. it's SO cute seeing riddle on the same level as floyd with impulsiveness

also in halloween 2, when they find possessed jade and he's acting like floyd, riddle's like That's Not Floyd 😤 immediately, which i mean leads to a convo about the twins' hair lol BUT i like to think it also just shows how much riddle's around the twins

riddle has a lot of similarities to azul. floyd and jade like to pick on azul a lot. despite being weird about how they talk about it kfdjdlsdfjkl floyd jade and azul are all friends and i think they care about each other a lot. floyd also loves to tease riddle. i think it's both bc riddle and azul have entertaining reactions when theyre Being Teased, but also i think that's part of how floyd shows his affection. like he's having fun, he's playing!!! when he's not interested in something or someone hes got No Energy and is like im outta here 🚶‍♂️ but with riddle he's always like hehehehehe funny little goldfishie heheheheehehe

these two separate bits from the first twst anthology manga [fan translated by turtlesoupscans]:

^i think the anthology mangas are considered like semi canon or something but i think this is kinda cute lol, like floyd thrilled to hang out with riddle and riddle apparently spending time with floyd for five straight hours lol

and then this part, i think about it all the time:

thats just a very potent section of a small bit of floyd in general bothering riddle bc he's bored and wants to hang out!! but like. hi. hello. whoever wrote/illustrated this part? they had an agenda. a florid agenda. and i See It lolololol. and then floyd wants to play tag with him right after 😌 also i just like the way he greets him at the start lol-

YO~ 🤗 f l o y d ... 😔

ALSO it's said somewhere, i think a few places but idr where, that during the second years' orientation, floyd and riddle got into a chaotic fight with each other like how grim disrupted the first years'/game's opening orientation. enemies to lovers on sight or something LOL

anyway. there are probably more scenes i cant remember but ive been typing for like an hour [i had to go into the event archives i needed to fact check myself for ACCURACY] and i have to cut myself off or i will Never Stop sljkfjdsj THANKS for indulging me SORRY i talked for 500 years. i can and will do it again tho any time anyone asks me how i feel about anything twst related. im constantly locked and loaded with SO Many feelings.

[the-kipsabian]

Yo hi there! I’m very sorry to bother you at this time of the day, just reaching out if you’d be so kind to check the post that I pinned on my blog and maybe give it a little help by boosting/sharing it? it’s for my cat :((( and we need help to get him the dental care he needs. It would really mean the world to me and I understand if you don’t, still appreciate you and stay safe! and btw, please do send me a msg to reply or answer the ask privately instead as I want avoid other blogs to think im a spambot or what, once again im sorry for asking this, praying you’d consider! 🫶🏽🥹

you know what

no 🙏❤

hey kids, lets play a game of spot a scam again!! (im copying the message ive replied with before here and the original is at the bottom if you wish to reblog that one :) just editing this a bit here to show the new stuff they are putting out there in this very message yay!!)

okay this is literally the same story ive seen before at least three times. its word to word the same. youre not even trying

reblogs only from original posts. they have gotten "smarter" tho as this blog followed me in attempts to try to show its "real". and yet they havent reblogged from blogs they supposedly follow, only from probably the top posts from some popular tags and only from the original posters. also please note literally all the posts in their blog have been reblogged today within the past three to four hours (apparently im so loopy i cant read times rn, its been about the past 15 to 16 hours but the point still stands, they are all reblogged within the last 24 hours)

also they try to act more human with a decent description and likes and follows turned off. dont try hun

their only original post as far as i scrolled (which admittedly wasnt very far as its obvious this is a scam lol) is the donation post. unsurprisingly

ive said it before and i'll say it again - they seem to target people in similar positions that they are supposedly in, trying to pluck that sympathy cord with "your pet is sick so you are sensitive and know how this feels". this isnt my case rn but i obviously have posted cat photos and i have a donation ko-fi link in my pinned post sssoooo

"pls consider answering this ask privately" lmao so what people dont know youre a scammer? NEXT (they literally say this now like lmaooo for real? so that people dont think youre a scam bot?? honey please are you even trying)

a simple search even within tumblr tells you people already know about this. the account, the story and the cat. you aint fooling anymore

if unsure kids, ask a friend and google things 👍 reverse image search, for example, is your best friend!! also googling the latter half of the given paypal name reveals immediately that this is a scam. plastered all over the first search page lmao

also kids, in case youre asking "well what bad could a one little me reblogging a post even if its a scam do if i dont donate :/" 1. im sorry what and 2. it makes them look legitimate which they are not. the more notes the more trusted the source cause tumblr is full of idiots (sorry not sorry ive been here for over 11 years i know what people are like) plus you put your friends, mutuals and followers in a risk of participating in a scam. and have your name associated with it as well. do i need to go on?

anyways hi go report this blog and always be hesitant if someone you dont know asks you for donations like this. unless its a beloved mutual on your dash, reconsider. stay safe, thanks 💜

looking forward to being unfollowed and blocked immediately after posting this, but i'll be sure to report you for a scam. :) also fuck you for using someone elses poor cat and their situation to literally scam good natured people out of money, what the fuck is wrong with you

peace and love, fuck you ✌💜

[storynerd121]

it's not saturday anymore (at least for me) but i don't care and i hope you don't either...

(yes, i'm gonna ask you one for nearly each point, cause... that's like my personality...)

i'm not very original here, but i'm excited for your answers!!!

☆ fuck, marry, kill:

(really not original, but i wanna knowwwww)

james, sirius, remus?

regulus, evan, barty?

mary, dorcas, marlene? (and lily too?? ahhhh how can i add her???)

☆ top 3 of...

hmmm... i'm gonna do that differently: if you could only eat (don't worry about drinking) 3 things for the rest of your life, what would it be?

☆ are you a dog or a cat person?

☆ ahhhhhhhhhh i can't think of something for the next two... (okay, that's like half true i'm just too shy... sorry...)

☆ headcanons... that's a long answer probably? and this is so long already... but... tell me something if you want to? about anything? anddd one question: what do you think about ravenclaw barty?

☆ hmmmm... i don't really knowww... okay, this is weird maybe, but i think, you'd be awesome in a cartoon? that isn't even question-related... yeppp... i mean that in the nicest way possible btw!!! i think you're that mix of being sweet and cool that i associate with cartoon characters? okay... that's kinda dumb... my social anxiety/awkwardness is screaming at me... (what i mean is that i think you'd be awesome in a cartoon what leads to that maybe i'd ship you with a cartoon character? but i don't know enough about cartoon to give a character... i just kinda got that vibe...)

☆ my day was kinda boring... nothing special, but also very chilled...

how are you doing? how was your day? :)

byeeee

<33

hiiiii!! Thx for all the questions (im bored so this is perfect for rn. i honestly don't care if its not sat. anymore lol.) Anyways here's my answers.

☆ fuck, marry, kill:

kill james (im sorry my love 😭 i still adore u), fuck sirius (i may be ace but u get the point), and marry remus (bc we would be book lovers together).

kill barty (😭😭😭), fuck evan (bc why not), and marry regulus (he's just a bby thats in need of love). (bro it was so hard to choe between barty and evan omg. im still not sure lmao)

i'm gonna do fuck, slap, mary, kill for the girls bc i wanna add lily in. marry lily (ily queen), fuck dorcas, slap marlene, and kill mary (im gonna be honest here i dont rly know/read a lot abt them but i wanna read more good fics so recommendations r welcome)

☆ top 3:

Ok so if i could only eat 3 things for the rest of my life it'd probably be.... chocolate (bc i need it), chicken (bc i need protein and why not), and peas (my fav veggie). thats a hard question lol. i kinda just picked what i need for a balanced (ish) diet....

☆ dog or a cat person?

i love dogs, but im a cat person. (i also have 2 dogs and 1 cat. i love them all <3)

☆ headcanons… that's a long answer probably? and this is so long already… but… tell me something if you want to? about anything? anddd one question: what do you think about ravenclaw barty?

ooooo, ok. so ravenclaw barty (bc im starting with the question). I honestly like it. I feel like he's both sytherin and ravenclaw (like me) and i honestly like him in both houses. ig sytherin is a little better for him but honestly i still like him in both. idk why it just feels kinda right?? (and he still gets cute moments with evan in both houses so i cool with both lol)

hmmmm... a headcanon of mine..... i'm gonna stick to the marauders fandom bc why not. one of my fav headcanons is just soft reggie. like just for james. he's srsly so adorable and he loves to cuddle with his bf (even tho he's to embarrassed to ask at first so james just kinda pulls him into a hug/kiss every time he senses reg doesn't wanna ask and reg gets all flustered. he does get comfortable with it eventually tho). another one of my fav headcanons is abt wolfstar. I feel like siri is the one who stays with rem after every full and they just snuggle and enjoy each other. even before they get together (rem is so scared of ruining everything by confessing so he just holds it in bc he just loves siri so fucking much that it physically hurts him to even think of losing him.) anyways one day after the full they're chilling on rem's bed and siri just whispers i love you bc he needs to say it and they both just freeze. siri apologizes over and over and rem is just kinda stuck on the fact that siri actually said i love you?? to him?? and then he registers that sirius is crying so he just kisses him before he can think abt it. it ends well ofc. (i feel like these aren't rly headcanons and they're just little random stories but we're going with it for now lol)

☆ okay, this is weird maybe, but i think, you'd be awesome in a cartoon? that isn't even question-related… yeppp… i mean that in the nicest way possible btw!!! i think you're that mix of being sweet and cool that i associate with cartoon characters? okay… that's kinda dumb… my social anxiety/awkwardness is screaming at me… (what i mean is that i think you'd be awesome in a cartoon what leads to that maybe i'd ship you with a cartoon character? but i don't know enough about cartoon to give a character… i just kinda got that vibe…)

thank u!!! idk why but this is honestly rly sweet! cartoon characters r awesome so i absolutley love this thank u! u may have just made my day lol. (also the social akwardness is so relatable lmao) also a ship with a cartoon character? that sounds kinda interesting....lmk if u think of someone bc now im kinda curious lol. (i've never been in a relationship but im curious to see what cartoon vibes i give off and who u'd ship me with)

☆ my day was kinda boring… nothing special, but also very chilled…how are you doing? how was your day? :)

my day was pretty good actually! i hung out a friend's house (i haven't seen the friend in a while so it was cool to see them again) for a while so that was nice. although the misgendering was kinda annoying.... im doing meh. im rly anxious abt my upcoming presentation and also everything i've gotta do but i'm ok rn. how r u? ur day honestly sounds nice (i love lazy days so i may be biased lmao). I hope it was nice to have a relaxing-ish day tho.

thx so much for the ask btw!! ur sirius-ly awesome (ignore my marauders humor but i had to). <3

byeeeee!! <3

[adelheidvonschicksal]

GAHHHH THAT WAS MEEEEE IM SO HONORED THANK YOUUUUUUU~~~~

i haven’t been getting sleep so i can’t wait to read it once it comes out!!!!! thank you sosowosososo much <3333

YAY! Thank you for requesting! Here's a bit for you while you wait to help *w* I just keep having to stop cause coy Xavier is so AHHH, and I get all blushy thinking about it. lol

You’re curled up at his side, your head laying against his bicep and your free arm resting on top his lean chest, attempting to search for his always subtle pulse inside. You find the pattering easy to count and the warmth of the sheets much more apparent when he’s in them. The comfort of the situation causes your eyes to flutter with tiredness, but you want to savor this moment a little longer. So, you force them to remain open, releasing a soft yawn instead as you cuddle into his arm.

Too soon, you feel Xavier shifting further away from you.

“It’s getting late. I should go home.”

Groaning at those words, you lock your grip onto the thin white shirt he wears, tugging yourself more into his side. “Not yet. I just found the perfect spot,” you mumble into him; blissfully, you take in his scent, your eyes falling close when you realize how nice he smells.

“You always use that excuse.”

“And it’s always true. So, no moving,” you order.

With a soft shake of his head, Xavier huffs fondly at your antics. A waif-like smile crosses his features when he feels you press more of your weight against him. “I take this to mean you’re finally admitting it’s your fault we didn’t do our errands today?”

“I never said that,” you disagree half-heartedly. “Besides, you’re the one who wouldn’t let me get up earlier.”

“And now you won’t let me get up. Am I right? Why’s that?”

You’re not entirely sure when lounging around with Xavier became a regular occurrence in your life. People who knew you always said you worked a little too hard, a little too observant, overly energetic despite your fragile heart, but somehow you could relax with Xavier. Moments like these: when his arm was around you, when his breath was at the back of your neck, the soft words he speaks in his sleep dancing in your mind, were the moments when patrolling for wanderers and every loss in your life from your family to your problematic heart dissipated into the back of your mind for a few hours.

It isn’t an exaggeration to believe his influence must have been the cause, at least when it comes to this. But it's true that your influence is seeping into him as well. Given his loner habits when you first met and his frequent disappearing acts, you never pictured him as one to be so sweet and considerate and adorably charming in a way.

However, you can’t really tell him that you enjoy…sleeping with him. Though, you have a strong feeling he already knows how much you like him. It’s all but said. The only doubts are yours.

You shuffle aside your embarrassment. “It’s supposed to be cold tonight, and they say the best way to fend off the chill is body heat. Who better for that task than you, dear partner?”

“Many things, I assume, a portable heater comes to mind,” he says, and you don’t need to look at him to know he’s slyly teasing you behind that naive tone.  

“Right, right, those things,” you grumble causing him to laugh as you hide your bashful face against him. “So loud, you know?”

“Are they? Alright, then five more minutes should be doable,” he says in the same low voice that makes your insides boil before his arm lowers to curl around your back. “Although, you’re too comfortable,” he admits with a frown while the tip of his ears dyed rose with a blush. “I might end up falling asleep here.”

[everybodyloveshippos]

What has been your favorite moment of your current dnd campaign?

Ahhh okay this is def very hard to answer since this campaign started like,,, march 2020 (in person for a bit, then online, thankfully back to in person now) SO....LONG WINDED POST AHEAD,,,

So we’ve been at it for a while! And things get pushed to the back of my mind or are in my notebook somewhere-BUT we did start a discord channel called ‘that one time when’ where we put memorable moments. So I will do my best to list my top three since i could never sift thru this entire crazy adventure and pick just one <3

The first time Valentine cast revivify! We had just levelled up, I had just learned the spell, and I had just bought diamonds prior to us going to the Cassalanter ball (kinda spoilers for dragonheist ahead). So some cult nonsense starts goin down in the basement, we jump in (to the soundtrack of ballroom blitz) and we’re holding our own, kicking ass, but then victorio casts power word kill to instantly kill Hawkwood (artificer half-elf) and it was our first PC death and we were kinda freaking out.

It was a big character moment for a lot of our party bcus it was one of the highest stake things that had happened thus far. Lucien ripped out victorios throat (lucien is a drow werewolf) despite his hesitation over it (past trauma with being used as a weapon and monster) and valentine realized that ‘holy shit. I care about these people more than I care to admit. What a scary thought.” and then flew over to revive him. The imagery was just very cool and pretty to imagine, with high arches and valentine’s aasimar wings and eyes glowing white gold, holding hawkwood to them as the diamond shatters and the pieces rise in the air and he wakes up! I actually drew this a long time ago here

Another moment that had us losing our MINDS (one of us literally) was we were facing down Yandathul, a mindflayer (i think he’s an Ulitharid) who 3 party members have personal beef with (he experimented on our drow twins, disguised as a drow himself) (he ate nick’s uncle’s brain in front of him. Nick is a Githyanki. He has beef w mindflayers on sight anyways) Also we’d just found the corpse of a Draegloth, another experiment and our ally at the time that he had killed.

So basically we were fighting this guy, and he fuckin….Subdues nick and then eats gothi’s (our dwarf paladin, a newer addition to the party) brain in front of him. Then  he casts planeshift, and as we’re all about to get sent to fuckin WHO knows where, we could all land anywhere, not even together, nick-you know how you need to hit the right tune/frequency to travel to a different plane in dnd or something?-Well he screams for us all to grab his hands as planeshft is cast and he screams out the note that’s gonna make sure we all go TOGETHER AT LEAST to the astral sea, where he’s from It was just so intense and insane and emotional bcus nick was doing a scream of fury and grief and frustration but also doing bard stuff to keep us all safe. And it came after a PC death, and we rlly all almost got yeeted to separate corners of the universe. So we all just. Floated in the astral sea for a bit. With a corpse Valentine (my pc, cleric) couldnt revivify bcus his brain got eaten. I think it was our wildest moment. It stands out a lot because we lost. weirdly enough, the final countdown is a song that syncs up w this moment super well.

God anon im sorry to wax poetic theres soooo much more and obvi im biased to valentine’s moments but genuinely, i think my favourite moment was:

Nick slapping his abusive and terrible father on the deck of their warship in front of his crew. I gasped Out Loud in person it was So good i was shocked. It slapped. And so did nick. Lol

[turbulentscrawl]

pft yea sure i could be your “worst luca” anon , only 4 u ;P ( hardest /j ever and i apologize deeply LOL )

jokes aside , you got emma and orpheus’ nicknames right !! i js didnt mention them oopsie heh . most of the nicknames are unhinged as hell so i dont blame ya . me and my friends just love nicknames ig , were silly fuckers its how we cope with how terrible our team synergy is LOL . ( you should never see us in a srs match , ever )

i find it funny that both you and one of my friends both have “bunny” in your idv users and are both allegedly married to luchino . you two should have a showdown . /j .

btw , feelings on an idv magical girl au ? asking for … science , yeah :)

sincerely yours , worst luca — the magnet thats spinning on top of a superconductor at very high speeds ( the signoffs will probably be getting stupider every ask i write these while im sleepy and half braindead please pardon me )

i need a regular team to play with 😂 at least for rank! I need those rank essences so I can get Antonio's special carry!!

Not to brag but I have written about AND drawn his peepee so I think I'd win flips hair...JK I can share him haha

Magical girls aren't super up my alley, but I need that Gravekeeper sanrio outfit to be a skin.... So if a magical girl au gets me that I'm all for it!

[whump-captain]

Whump Challenge

I got tagged by @sasuga-whump to do this great challenge! Ill put it under a readmore bc it's quite long but i had a blast (◡‿◡)

I'll tag @deepwoundsandfadedscars @thatsgonnaleaveamark @set-phasers-to-whump @crash-bump-bring-the-whump @whumpapalooza @whump-side @justwhumpythings @radioactiveartz and anyone who sees this on desktop rather than mobile

1. Favorite whump trope(s)?

I do love anything to do with knives - stabbing, carving, knives to throats, etc. Impaling is up there too, and fractures of all kinds.

2. Least favorite whump trope(s)?

I'm not into dehumanisation in any way, or humiliation, they're squicks in fact. Anything with conditioning is also very much not for me.

3. Top 3 whump scenes and why?

Ohhhhhh good question. Recent faves are:

A scene in Resident Evil: Village where the protagonist is strung up from the ceiling by hooks stabbed through his hands. He then has to free himself by ripping the hooks out, making the wounds worse. Not much in way of consequences because of the game's slasher-horror conventions but very good still

Hard to describe without spoilers lol but in a book i just read, there is a character who's a clairvoyant and can remember things before they happen. When another character wants to hit them with a glass bottle, they experience the pain even though the hit never actually lands - the intention is enough to hurt them. It later gets used to torture them, too. It's very unique and very fun (◡‿◡)

There's a whole sequence in the webcomic Shiloh where a character loses a fight to a mantis-like monster, ends up severely injured and thrown off a cliff into a river. His colleagues find him half-dead and rush him to a hospital.

4. Top 3 characters to whump and why?

I whump my OCs 95% of the time so i don't have many fandom faves lol. I have been enjoying some horror protagonists though - Ethan Winters from Resident Evil and Murphy Pendleton from Silent Hill: Downpour both are very hurtable and get roughed up nicely in their stories.

5. Favorite fandom for whump (show, series, etc)?

Again im not much of a fandom whumper but it's usually whatever im into at the moment - recently Silent Hill

6. Do you prefer written or watchable whump?

Oooh that's hard, i think i lean every so slightly towards watchable. They both have their wonderful parts (◡‿◡)

7. Do you also like hurt/comfort?

Yes! I always prefer the hurt lol but im also very into some good comfort

8. What do you think the difference between hurt/comfort and whump is?

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ To me, whump means "the hurt part of hurt/comfort" but tbh the terms are pretty interchangeable to me. H/c is a more well-known term so i find that it tends to end up being used towards more fics, even ones that only feature it briefly.

9. How would you explain whump to someone who’s not familiar with it?

Depending on how familiar with fandom terms they are, i suppose. Either "the hurt in hurt/comfort", or "like angst, but often about the physical side", or "stories where the point is for the characters to get injured". Probably add something about exploration of vulnerability, in case they want a deeper explanation.

10. Is there any old whump you particularly enjoy? (say, pre 2000?)

Hmmmmm im sure there are some Star Wars books ive read that are from the 90s and have some good whump but i genuinely don't remember lol

11. Why do you think you like whump?

Now that's the big question, isn't it lol. There's definitely catharsis there - seeing characters allowed to express their suffering and then having it validated and soothed. It's an outlet for emotion, too, especially anger which i struggle with and can channel in a safe and controlled way onto Fictional Character Stabbings lol. I also just like the aesthetics of the kind of exaggerated violence that whump tends to feature, there's a darkly melodramatic thrill to it that im really drawn to.

12. When did you realize you liked whump?

Literally as early as i remember lol. I was under 6 wishing characters in cartoons would be put into peril, i was always into it

13. Favorite posts with whump (gifsets, picspams, etc)

I do love gifsete with my whole heart, im so constantly in awe of the amazing gifmakers we have in this community bc they let us experience the best of whump from all over the world. I also like prompt posts, @injuryprompts never fails to get my creative gears turning

14. Are you “out” to people in real life?

Absolutely Not lmao and for a bunch of reasons. Mostly because whump is something quite personal to me and wouldn't want it to be misunderstood but at the same time i don't think i could properly explain it. I also don't want people to think it's a sexual thing - which again is something commonly understood in the community but probably not so much outside of it.

15. How did you find the whump community?

I was on one of my periodic searching-for-hurt/comfort-fics sprees when i was reminded of the term by the tags - i've been aware of it as a fandom thing but always forgot about it. Then i had the idea of searching it on tumblr and then it all began lol. I was so stunned to see a whole section of the website so dedicated to it and i can't believe how long i've managed without it (◡‿◡)

16. Any unusual mediums you like for whump (plays, music, vlogs, etc)?

Hmmmmm i very much like video game whump - both actual scenes and just the natural way a character gets beat up throughout the gameplay. An unusal niche of it is, i would say, point-and-click puzzle games. It feels weird because they never have an actual protagonist lol but the plot always involves being trapped, or captive, or escaping, and that just always gets my whump imagination going lol. I like imagining a character for them, scared and injured, struggling to puzzle out their freedom.

17. Any meta about whump you’ve been dying to share?

It's mostly just an observation but im utterly fascinated by the fact that so many people are into whump from very early in life. There was a poll about it going around recently and the most picked answer was "6 and younger" and it just. blows my mind. What a strangely specific thing to be born with. I would love to study this in some way but i wouldn't even know where to start.

18. Whump fic(s) you’d love to see?

There are a bunch of writers here whose fics i would love to see continued but i'm nervous to tag them bc i don't wanna pressure them lol. In general im also always on a lookout for strong platonic friendships in stories and creative magical whump, especially with a horror twist.

19. Whump you’re looking forward to? (Maybe something teased or something you haven’t seen yet?)

I've been reading Witch Hat Atelier and recently there have been theories that some visual symbolism is foreshadowing my favourite character getting hurt in an upcoming fight. I don't want to get my hopes up too much cause it's all guesswork lol but i would very much like that (◡‿◡) Similar thing with Wilde Life, a webcomic, in which the protagonist is currently held at gunpoint - in that story, however, not much injury happens at all lol so again not holding my breath.

20. Top 3 favorite whump fics?

Hhhhhh just three???? i need some kind of bookmark system for real because i can't remember half of the stuff i read lol so these aren't my Top top 3, just things i really like

In The Woods Somewhere by @knivestothroats has to be on here because it's honestly the pinnacle of my writing goals - the flow and pacing are impeccable, it escalates the stakes so smoothly that i put it down, and it's just such a brilliant self-contained story with characters that stick with you and some scenes that i still think about, years since i've read it.

@whumpapalooza 's Space Interns also have a very warm place in my heart bc i just love the characters so much and it's not often that i want whump for Every Single Member Of The Cast but here we are

and most recently i've loved this BHTB fill by @crash-bump-bring-the-whump and its lovely prose and the ability to get me hooked on brand new characters in a single work

21. Tropes you think are overdone?

Conditioned/"broken" whumpees, to me it always seems like the same few tropes and phrases cycled around in new costumes. But i will admit that i also just dislike the trope all in all lol so im not being entirely objective here. Creepy whumpers also usually come off as cheesy, i think, because they always use the same set of kinda stereotypical and, well, overused lines. It seems like it's a go-to "default" whumper for prompts/short fics but imo it's actually very difficult to do well. Just my opinion tho

22. Tropes you think we could use more of?

Hmmmmmmmmm it would be cool to see some cool horror/magic themed whump, with strange creatures and eldritch threats. I'm also always in the market for more unique character dynamics, they can keep even the most basic of tropes fresh.

23. Favorite sites/archives for consuming whump? (question by @dammittmarie )

Honestly just tumblr lol. And ao3 sometimes if i want fanfics since it's very easy to find things there

24. Have your whump preferences changed recently? If so, why? (question by @fyeahvulnerablemen​)

I've been leaning more towards horror recently as i get more into the genre! But within it im still into the same kind of whumpees i believe lol even though they're getting less gunfights and more possessions

[cainightfics]

hello! i think i remember you saying you have a degree in english (if i hallucinated this, please feel free to disregard this ask). this is probably a very silly question, but do you find what you learned from your degree to be helpful when writing fics? or is it mostly not applicable to what you write? anyway, i hope you're doing well! i really like your mr robot works! :)

yeah i do have an english degree!! wow i cant believe u remember that lol. to be honest im lazy as hell and really slacked off throughout my degree... like i read maybe half of the stuff i was assigned lmfao 💀 despite this i managed to get really good grades, graduate with honours, get into a top grad school etc. i was always wayyyy more interested in theory than in literature itself. honestly i think a lot of the "greatest books of all time" people usually mention are either straight up trash or at least overrated as hell. i didnt really learn much from them writing-wise.

the big thing that got me into writing was roleplaying, actually. i used to be in the homestuck fandom (lol) and i was on either msparp or cherubplay every fucking day from ages 13-16. i was addicted to roleplaying lol, i probably wrote like 3-5k words everyday back then. i started writing fanfic but not publishing it around that time as well, and then wrote my first berserk fics around 16-17, which is how i got started on ao3.

in middle school/most of high school, me and my best friend were NOTORIOUSLY the most lazy people in our grade. like she literally pretended to have a learning disability throughout all of elementary school because she didnt want to do any work lol. anyways, in high school, i would literally arrive at school, sleep through my first class, skip the rest of my classes until lunch by either hiding in the library reading fanfic/manga or (if it was warm enough) SLEEPING OUTSIDE ON THE FIELD LMFAOOO, go to lunch, go to my english class in the afternoon (only class i liked), and then spend the rest of the afternoon at starbucks on my laptop roleplaying. i think i had like 90 absences in my first semester of grade 9 lol. i really didnt take school seriously because i knew i could just study for 30 mins before a test and get an A, so my grades were always high anyway-- and then i let my friend (the aforementioned extremely lazy one) copy off me so she didnt flunk out of school.

anyway, in grade 10 the teachers started to get sick of my shit. by this point i was pretty brazen about how much i didnt give a shit about school-- i would bring a blanket to school to nap with, showed up to class drunk, sold cigarettes to people in the parking lot, all sorts of shit. one day i was sleeping in the library and i woke up to the principal standing over me telling me he needed to see me in his office. they basically gave me an ultimatum: either i got my shit together and started putting in effort, or they'd have to start giving me suspensions until i was eventually expelled. i really considered dropping out of highschool at this point. instead, i did all my remaining classes needed to graduate through this online course site-- i did about 2 years of school in 2 months lol. i applied to university on a whim and got in. i was 16 when i started university.

in uni, my schedule changed drastically, and i had less time to roleplay. this is when i started writing fanfics. im not sure if i have a "style" or anything really (maybe you could tell me if i do), but any skill i have with writing comes from those years of roleplaying + lots of fanfic reading. id say the only thing (writing-wise) i really learned from my degree is how to proofread for grammatical errors and what i DONT like/find to be lazy writing.

sorry lol i feel like i always do some bigass story about my life whenever i answer these lol. but thanks for the ask!