#im taking apt stuff this time so its way more stuff then when i was in the dorms

[cinnamon-notes]

leaving the apartment where i lived with my ex turned out to be more painful than her leaving the apartment where we lived together

[literaphobe]

[while speaking i'm pacing the room and walking up the walls and ceiling like a spider] i'm obsessed with the way you so successfully and compellingly create sexual tension. it's truly insane how good you are at creating that dense atmosphere, and i'm just scrolling my phone peeking and reading line by line waiting for the bubble to pop. you've heard of sexual tension you can cut with a knife, now get ready for "sexual tension so palpable that you need a diamond drill to even make a dent." that is tvl to me. you have to have a master's degree in yearning with a concentration in pining to write something half as magnetic as this. your brain is so big. reading this fic is like watching a beyblade battle, watching the two of them spin around each other in rapid circles at mach speed, like you KNOW it's going to end but how messy will the final blow be??

i also really appreciate how the majority of this fic is from adrien's pov! i feel like i don't see a lot of that (in the fic i'm finding anyways), so to find one with it, and one so well written and well characterized at that, is like striking gold. every line has me going "they WOULD fucking say that !" i also love how you make sure to specify that though alya, out of love, pushes marinette out of her comfort zone, she stops it all once she gets the sense that marinette is genuinely uncomfy. bc they r besties!!! and alya cares about marinette more than proving that she knows what's best for her!!

im showering you in flowers and giving u the big bouquet cn gave lb except you can keep all the flowers mwah!!!!!!!

anon I need you to know… this ask blew me away in ways that are barely comprehensible like just WOW. WOW!!!!!! thank you so much and also you have SUCH a way with words this is SUCH high praise but it’s also being delivered so eloquently and I am just SO CHARMED

thank you thank you THANK YOU so much for real. ive reread this ask multiple times and I know i will continue to do so in the future, along with all the amazing anons ive been getting recently 🥺🥺🥺

it’s genuinely SO nice and heart wrenching to know that all the love and yearning and tension and emotions and complicated feelings I put into tvl can be felt this palpably… thank you for understanding and FEELING and seeing my vision… gives u a diamond ring

also HEHEHE im so glad ur enjoying the adrien pov!! for tvl i just felt like it was apt and also i like the adrichat pov ^_^ its fun and cozy and silly! also functionally tvl!maribug has far more secrets and Knows more so having the audience spend more time w adrichat makes it easier to maintain the suspense HEHEHEHEH also im so glad u are enjoying the characterization!!!!! and also tvl alya’s nuance. i wanted to make it very clear that while she’s been acting up and scheming and unwinding -> because she’s being kept in the dark about a bunch of stuff too!! and as we know it DRIVES HER INSANE when marinette keeps secrets from her… still. i wanted to show that when push comes to shove she’s able to take a step back and protect marinette…

[ablednt]

hey this is probably a v common ask but if i were a system, how would i know for sure? im already autistic, and i suspect i might be plural bc my parents tell me abt what my friends say is a "horrifying and traumatic" childhood that i dont remember experiencing, they tell me abt conversations i dont remember having with them, i end up on places i dont remember walking to and i am congratulated on achievements that i dont remember doing or punished for things i know i wouldnt have done. i sometimes feel like i am in a fishbowl being carried around by someone else, or like im between radio channels hearing both at once and tgey respond sometimes and i thought they were just thoughts, like that was a normal way people thought but people i ask say its not normal. im sorry for tge length of this message im just not sure qhats going on with me

Oh you're so valid

At this point I'm going to go ahead and say that if you do feel plural or more apt if you feel like interacting with the plural community and identifying as plural will help you then you should go ahead and do it. Personally the fact that you're responding to your thoughts like that seems pretty inherently on the plural spectrum to me.

With the memory loss and dissociation I'd suggest doing some research into DID. If you don't feel comfortable diagnosing yourself with it that's perfectly fine but you should be able to find resources that can help you.

Here are some activities that can help get you started in the questioning/syscovery process

Try and get in touch with anyone in your brain. Find a quiet spot you can just think without too many distractions (you can do it other times but it's going to be much harder) and ask "is anyone there?" or introduce yourself or something. Because it's very likely your system mates are just as confused about all of this as you are, you might ask and get back an answer like "No one's here" or "I'm not real" or "I don't know" and if you get that it means there is someone there but they are very confused themselves. If nothing happens that also doesn't mean you're definitely singlet it's also possible no one is up front when you're asking.

If you have places that you imagine clearly when you picture the inside of your mind it's possible that you have a headspace. Something the sometimes works is trying to go there. What I did was meditated one night and told "wait til a house shows up" which was oddly specific anyway it sort of worked but I found out that I'm not able to see or move anything when I'm fully "in" headspace so it was mostly just disorienting I found out that I can physically hear stuff from there if I'm disconnected from front enough (really I have to be on the verge of falling asleep) but it's just as valid if it's solely a place you're imagining rather than giving you any clear senses, you can kind of tell whether it's you completely making everything up or if others are there/it's a metaphorical space because the latter just kind of...flows naturally? When you're imagining stuff intentionally that takes effort and conscious thought, if it's all happening to you naturally, people respond without you thinking of their responses or they make their own choices separate from you, etc. then that's different than regular pretending. This is probably written confusingly sorry this stuff is hard to describe.

Journaling! You can do this on paper or do it in a discord server created just for yourself (if you want to you can add pluralkit and people can create their own profiles on it and have their own icons/names/etc that way but that's optional) or something else there's apps you can use as well Antar is a good one but really you could do it anywhere you can write or type. You can write messages for other parts of you who take over, ask them questions for later, or you can do that to pass on important notes of what's going on when and scheduling and stuff. Basically, the idea is that you're copiloting a body with a bunch of people who haven't been able to properly speak to each other so you need to find a way to keep important information the others might need accessible.

Hopefully this is helpful if you have any other questions feel free to ask you can also message us if you'd like but no pressure to! Good luck!

[tsumikicity]

god that post is making me want to talk about house of leaves more because that book is genuine experience to read. the only problem about talking about house of leaves is the best way to experience it is with minimal knowledge (id say no knowledge but theres some incredibly fucked up stuff so trigger warnings and the blurb on the flap of the front cover would be fine imo). its only a bit over 20 bucks new and i beg if youre to read it

get it physically

get the full color edition, from what i can tell using color blind simulators it uses colorblind friendly colors

take it slow, really take time to stew in the book, id even say to go as far as only a single chapter a day, its incredibly dense so blasting through it isnt really the best way to read it (as someone who blasted trough it i do regret reading it that way)

if you feel like you need to take notes you definitely should, i have some written on separate sheets of paper inserted in the appropriate spots

now if you choose not to heed my warning or, preferably, youve already read it rest is under the cut

now im first gonna say i may have got a little too heated in the tags but im very passionate about this book, and the fact that i dont know what pale fire is but comparing it to goncharov just feels wrong to me. a more apt comparison would be the original princess bride book where its pretending to be an abridged version of an incredibly boring book, but instead house of leaves is very much unabridged.

if op of the one post meant the navidson record, the story inside a story inside a story, i would understand but just saying house of leaves feels like its missing the point almost? like house of leaves is johnny telling us about himself through his tangents aswell as telling us about zampano who in turn tells us more about johnny since theres a really good argument for johnny and zampano being one and the same all the while zampano is analyzing the navidson reccord, a documentary which doesnt exist for us or johnny. and if you spend more time with house of leaves theres probably a great way to connect the story of the house on ash tree lane to johnny but i havent spent the time this book deserves, and i genuinely dont know if theres an amount of time good enough for this book.

and going back to point three above my memory of little details, and especially what happens towards the end, is incredibly fuzzy since i read it in about 3 days which is a big reason i want to reread it. and just saying this makes me feel like im falling into the books trap as well. just like navidsons obsession with the house, and zampanos obsession with the film, and johnny obsession with the analysis, theres the potential for my obsession with this book and figuring it out. i say potential but i havent ever really stopped thinking about it since i read it around march of 2019, nearly 4 years ago at this point. its a book that really can stick with you and creep up on you late at night when youre just watching the walls of bedroom, lost in thought. it sometimes just hits you, a feeling of uncanniness in the most familiar of spots, a sense of something just not being quite right, and i think house of leaves does a really great job of conveying that feeling through its formatting which is part of i why i hope its read physically. it can take even the act of reading it into the uncanny with how the front cover is a bit shorter than the rest of the book.

i may have gotten a bit sidetracked there but my point is the book is very much real and having it compared to a fake movie meme feel very wrong to me but it might also be the gaming exhaustion from pokemon causing me to misinterpret that original post. either way i got to rant about house of leaves for a bit so at least theres that

[freesomebodybyluna]

...

[fireladybuckley]

Hi, Im not Val. Call me Jim. But I read the post and I kinda Agree with him. This "Giver" Buck and "Taker" Eddie has been around the fandom and has been bugging me. I am not trying to convince you that the way they are is that. But to me that they are a toxic pair, At least for the most part. If not toxic then a Co-dependent pair. I did this with one of the blog I follow post and I think I hurt her feelings and tried to apologize for it. I just wanted for my voice be heard in this matter. Part 1

Hi, Jim.

I received and read all 14 of your asks.  I would answer this privately, but am unable to when you’re on anon, so public it is.

I appreciate that you feel strongly on the topic but I found your arguments a bit circular and confusing.  I do not have the time or energy to respond to all of your points, so my apologies for this being not as direct as you maybe would like.

I got two main impressions while reading your asks:  

First, is that you seem to view relationships (or at least Buck and Eddie’s relationship) as a series of transactions, a series of favours given that must be repaid, rather than simply two people who care about each other helping each other out when needed.  You spent a lot of time on the scene from 2x03 when Buck brings Eddie to the hospital;  I guarantee you any of the others would also have driven Eddie there; Buck probably just offered first. 

Eddie dropping Chris off to Buck before/after the tsunami was not just because he needed a babysitter.  It was Eddie’s way of pulling Buck out of his depression and self-destructive thought patterns, a way of showing him he mattered and that the world wasn’t going to end because he couldn’t be a firefighter.  Buck absolutely adores Chris and clearly enjoys spending time with him, it’s not like Eddie dumped Chris off as a chore for Buck.  There is a lot of nuance to those scenes and I feel like maybe you missed them a bit.  Buck is a person who gets deep inside his own head and needs to be pulled out of his funk sometimes;  in getting him to spend the day(s) with Chris, Eddie is showing Buck not only that he trusts him with the most precious thing in the world to him, but also that Buck is loved and has a life beyond his job.

Second, you seem to be under the impression that people are solely products of their upbringing.  In one ask, you say that Eddie grew into a good father because he wanted to give Chris things he didn’t have as a kid, and then in the very same paragraph, turn around and said that that’s not possible because the stuff from his childhood “sticks” with him.  

Both Buck and Eddie had crappy upbringings, yeah, we see that in the show and in the ways both characters begin their stories.  But we have also watched them grow and change for 4 seasons (3 for Eddie) and they are already much different than when they started.  Buck was an arrogant little jerk when he first started at the 118 and now he is far more thoughtful, more apt to trust people, (sometimes) more likely to think about things before he acts.   We’ve watched Eddie go from being very private and somewhat prickly at times to being far more warm and open, especially with Buck.  He’s learning to talk about his problems and how to sympathize with others (look at how he’s been in Season 4 with Buck - he’s been there the whole time, gently supporting him, letting him know that his feelings are valid, that he matters even when he feels like he doesn’t.)

This is the only part I’m going to address directly, because it’s very frustrating to me:

“ I just have this take on Eddie that most of the fandom doesn't see. Him being a "taker" as his personality. We see this with Lena and Eddie also and Shannon and Ana. He is only with this with Buck because Buck helps, as he said. As you said also he is aware of his fault. hence, him with Buck.”

Yes, we saw that behaviour with Lena.  As you may recall, she called him out on it and once again, he realized his behaviour was wrong and he was obviously sorry for it.  This is yet another instance of character growth.  And yes, obviously we saw this behaviour with Shannon (though again, he was still at least paying the bills and didn’t just disappear out of their lives entirely... I know its not the same as helping her raise Chris, but at least it’s not 100% bad).  But as before... that is part of his character arc.  He grew past that.  He regretted it, and he has done everything he possibly can since then to make up for it.

I honestly don’t know what else to say on this.  Eddie has changed a great deal since 2x01 and since the flashbacks that took place in time before he joined the 118.  I think he’s possibly had the most growth of any character in the firefam, really.  He is proof that you can change the way you live your life after growing up in bad circumstances.  He is actively and constantly trying to do what’s best for his child and for the people he cares about, namely Buck.

He is not friends with Buck because Buck helps him.  Buck helps him because that’s just what Buck does, he helps everyone he cares about because he loves them.  Eddie helps him too.   That doesn’t make them co-dependent.  Co-dependence is when a couple ONLY relies on each other in unhealthy ways;  both Eddie and Buck have support outside of each other:  Buck has the firefam, Maddie, and now Taylor (regardless of whether you view her as a friend or a girlfriend), Eddie has the firefam, Carla, Abuela, Ana, etc.

I want to acknowledge that you said you had a bad experience with something like this.  I appreciate that, I do, and I’m sorry you had that experience; however,  I think because of that you’re looking past the nuance and details of Buck and Eddie’s friendship and potential relationship and are looking for alarm bells.  

Thank you for saying you like my blog and that my opinions matter to you.  I hope you don’t find what I’ve written to be too harsh, but I just don’t agree with your take on them being a toxic and/or codependent relationship.

[your-ace-cousin-clover]

okay soooo... sorry for the delayed reply, i've been kinda busy!

i gotta start this off by saying how much i loved the way you wrote "[...] that feeling of wanting to reach divinity and holiness with your writing. The raw, exposed nerve of that writing." - it's hard for me to refer to writing as a hobby because it's such a substantial part of me, if that makes sense? or maybe that's just my codependent relationship to writing... whenever i don't write for a while i start feeling like a non-person! (ok, in hindsight this doesn't sound 100% related to the holiness bit, but that's what sparked the train of thought)

on for colored girls who have considered suicide - when the rainbow is enuf: i actually listened to a monologue from this a while ago on youtube, but I'll be sure to check out the full text!

also, on the topic of spoken-word & slam poetry: i'm going to a poetry reading at a friend's place later this month and it's nerve-racking. i mean, hey, of course i bleed into my poetry, and in theory i'm cool with that. but reading it aloud to a room half full of strangers? that's like lying on an operating table, flesh sliced open with surgeons over you. (i'm sure it'll be fun, though)

i've read primer for small weird loves and wishbone (because they're both included in richard siken's book crush - which is definitely worth the money (& btw, he has a new book coming out this year in fall/winter; thought i'd tell you in case you didn't know))! out of the two i like wishbone a lot more - although that's probably just because i relate to it a little bit more. i like making lists so i've compiled some of my favorite parts from the poem:

• "I took the bullet for all the wrong reasons [...]"

• "Let's not talk about it, let's just not talk."

• "[...] we keep doing it Henry, we keep saying until we get it right... [...]"

• "If you love me, Henry, you don't love me in a way I understand."

• "This is where the evening splits in half, Henry, love or death. Grab an end, pull hard, and make a wish."

it's crazy (well, not really, but you know) that you mentioned jericho brown, because we read something by him in english class a few years back and he's completely slipped my mind since then! so, thanks for reminding me :)

first of all, i love how duplex starts and ends with the same line - and this may be a reach, but it feels sort of like coming home? he introduces us to the line, we go away for a while, then we're back at the beginning. and maybe i just feel this way because for me going home is synonymous with going back home. (not always, but a lot of the time.) also, the contrast of "none of the beaten end up how we began" & the poem ending exactly how it began? i don't have the right words to explain what, but there's something that grabs me in that.

now, let's take a short detour because i feel like dropping some recs. here's two poets whose work i really enjoy: chen chen and jasmine ledesma (who i think is on tumblr, too? @/candiedspit if i'm not wrong). i'd specifically like to recommend (and hopefully hear you opinion on) chen chen's i'm not a religious person but & jasmine ledesma's short stories no candy, sorry and FIEND.

links (just in case the previous ones don't work):

i'm not a religious person but: https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poetrymagazine/poems/58152/im-not-a-religious-person-but

no candy, sorry: https://tinyletter.com/jasmineledesma/letters/no-candy-sorry

FIEND: https://marchharemag.com/fiend

lastly, thanks for the prompt! i'll be sending you the poem in a separate ask (although i'm convinced it only makes sense if you're me) as to not make this one too long haha

-cat

Cat!

Sorry on the delayed reply on my side too. I've been sorta busy with a lot of stuff, but I had to drop in a message.

First of all, the poem? Iconic. It is so well written!!! Ahh! The way you use the numbers to count down all the things in a list sort of a format . And the splendid use of a clock ticking to signify the time coming closer and closer. It reminds of the Doomsday Clock which always reminds us that we are two minutes to complete destruction and in a way it is an inevitable destruction. "I'm one drink away from holiness and I'm not stopping" is such a vivid Ginsberg line that ahhh, it hits with the concept of the Beat Generation being these drunk, high poets who ultimately want to experience divinity through their intoxication and writing. And the ending with, "it's almost Valentine's- please tell your wretched heart I'm sorry." AGHH, the way the narrator tries to stop the inevitability of the sadness of romance?? Or being stuck in a relationship and trying to do better? The interpretations are left wide open and I love that.

[Let me know if you'd be okay with me sharing your poem? And oh, if you like to send me another prompt, I would love that.]

And I wanted to give you some advice on slam poetry performances, I have a bit of an experience with them. The surgical metaphor is indeed apt, there is some vulnerable to stand in front of a group of people to carve out yourself into words and see it take on a meaning for everyone differently. But, revel in that vulnerable state and see how that conveys meaning. Focus on a spot in the room and speak to it and let meaning take its own hold. And remember, even if you don't get the reception you are hoping for, hold onto the meaning that you initially wrote it with. How your poetry affects you in the end is what matters. And good luck! Let me know how it goes.

[I didn't know about the new Siken book. Do you know if it has a name? I'll have to look it up whenever it releases.]

Ahh, and I love the idea of listening favourite lines of poems, I might start doing that with my favourite poems too.

[Also, I know it's in the name, but there's something about the way Wishbone is written that it makes you keep as if you are splintering into bits and dissolving. Especially in the bit where he goes I wish you'd stop reminding about the debt because you can do nothing about it and even if you love me, it is not the way I want.; Please let me go, I cannot let you be in my debt anymore.]

Jericho Brown? Iconic. The cyclical nature of the form as well as it is sort of the same line all the while not being the same line is such a beautiful way to express the repetition, but all how each cycle in a way is different than the last one.

I loved Chen Chen's poem. The way God chooses to escape from his own reality through someone who does not believe enough in him to question him at first it beautiful. And what hits me is how God stops and creates a barrier again by sending the angel as soon as he is questioned in adjacent to his role in the universe. What interests me is how the atheist (I know it does not mention atheism directly, but close enough) is sent an angel and later meet with God, and therefore, the relation that they form is a meaningful bond between two individuals rather than being a power dynamic with the worshipped and the devotee.

There's something about Ledesma's stories about hopelessness in her both protagonists. In the same way, both are extremely tired of their circumstances and want to be somewhere else in perhaps a better versions of their selves. The scattered prose certainly draws it very strongly together.

And finally, to drop a rec of my own, let me know what you think of Ada Limon's "The Problem With Travel" and "Accident Report in the Tall, Tall Weeds." They both are very beautiful poems.

Hope to hear from you soon! :)

[luvargas]

     i think i just saw LUCILA “ LU ” VARGAS ride by on a golf cart . at least i think it was her . after all , CREDIT IN THE STRAIGHT WORLD BY HOLE was blasting on the transistor radio . maybe she was on her way to work , i hear she’s a PERSONAL TRAINER . but she totally could have been on her way to SNEAK IN A SMOKE AT THE GARDEN . guess we’ll never know . you’ll definitely know its her when you see LOOSE AND TANGLED HAND WRAPS , BUTTON BADGES ON VEGAN LEATHER ,  AND HEAR THE SHRILL SOUND OF BICKERING around the country club . let’s just hope she stays off the green after hours or else the sprinklers will get her !

( new muse, messy thoughts, u get the gist. pls know the views of this chara do not reflect my own. the name’s katya, 21, she/her pronouns & im ready 2 party. feel free to hmu wnvr or drop a like to plot n ill com 2 u ! x — oh n pls be a pal n read this quick disclaimer. tysm ! )

BASICS

24 years old

15 april 1997

5′1″ or 1.55m tall

bisexual cis woman, she/her

aries sun, aqua moon, and aqua rising

love languages : quality time & acts of service

BIO POINTS

kid o’ divorce, lived w her ma in chicago til she was 6 then w her dad in highlands til 14 then back to her ma ! 

def a daddys gorl. so used to her white pop’s leniency that livin w her strict latina ma durin her teen yrs was So Not Her Vibe ergo * cue her rebel grrrl phase *

did not finish hs ! left senior yr 2 to go w her “ radically progressive ” college bf to [ insert dev country. ] they broke up after a few mos but she kept at that life for a couple more yrs

seen some places. lived in new countries. done some shit. some good, some sus, but all generally well-intentioned. tis a whole thing but u get the gist, nywy !

lu’s back in da usa by 21. rel w the ma is strained but the pa is chill w stuff, they kept in touch. he said shell get her college fund if she gets her ged so she does !

her dad is v active n stuff so shes just always been v sporty w him. lu turnin 23 w zilch plans worried him so he implored her to get certified as a personal trainer ! n when she did, he called in a few favors w a pal he knows et voilà ! ur hired.

LU AT WORK

shes been workin at the country club fr a little over a yr now. most her clients are influencer-type gals n they luv her bc shes can take rlly cute pics n stuff for content. lu sorta likes some of em n she fakes the rest for the bread. u can bet she clowns all em richies behind their back   

unless she got clients, catch her runnin’ about the club n minglin’ w the other workers. does it annoy mngmt ? yes. n she luvs that. but bc her soon-2-b-karen clients luv her n wont stand for her bein booted, she can milk that impunity

actually knows her shit n lowkey rlly enjoys the work. she picked back up the boxing n tae kwon do she did when she was younger plus she was always in the track team at school. v healthy lifestyle save for her smokin vice n the party moments

PERSONALITY 

passionate ! has lotsa opinions. helluva a drama queen, bit of a loud mouth, argumentative n stubborn but her heart’s in the right place, albeit a lil misguided. comes w the whole activist bit, bitin her tongue just aint it. highkey makes everythin political n smtms gotta realize .,.,. it just aint that deep chief. some say shes needlessly defiant, but maybe thats a in the beholder typa thing ? fingers crossed 4 lu’s sake

fun, fun, fun ! can be real naggy but shes no buzzkill. wannabe anarchist-slash-mutineer who wants 2 stick it 2 the man ! get rowdy go crazy

fight, fight, fight ! goin back to the first bit, she talks big. esp w like ,, men n the whites lol. she can actually walk her threats tho she isnt actually violent. w arguments, she likes to start em but finishin is ... ruff.  also any dare, she wont back down in either doin it or arguin why doin it wld be smth-ist. shes not the sharpest tool ok rip lu

loyal legend ! fr her friends n buds, shell turn a blind eye. pals r the only exception ! truly ride or die n will do errthng 4 em. v much a believer in the power of community n ppl needin ppl or wtvr, yk, all that stuff. shes mouthy but like, she helps ppl 

here’s a brief blurb n a more coherent look into lu as a character

TIDBITS

lu can understand spanish but hers is a bit broken, tis her secret shame shhh

she doesn’t believe in the institution. any institution. u name it, shes got beef

pls dont fact check her she cant hear u

probs lowkey thinks shes better than u bc shes vegan

prefers 2 be called “ lu ” n ny1 who insists on lucila is dead 2 her 

comments abt her not lookin like a pt w her height n frame will result in an earful n a dramatic outburst. it aint worth it chief

watches lotsa sports w her pops. mostly indiv ones. mma, boxing, tennis, track, etc

dont ask me abt her principles n politics, i cant explain em either. v inconsistent n just messy at this point tbh but here’s a lil attempt ig

she drives a 2018 prius n lives in a p nice 1br apt outside the club

her mom’s middle class n her dad is almost upper-middle class. he isnt a member of the club but, like ,,, he cld be if he wanted to lol. he spoils her sm while she hasnt rlly Spoken to her mom besides civility, rip they both stubborn, tis a vargas thing

she is v much in a comfy position money-wise n dsnt hav much Need to hustle but sis does hav a couple of organizations she regularly sends some dough to so thats nice ig

she went fr grassroots activist to a veteran twitter/tumblr/reddit/wtvr ranter n a change.org gofundme petition regular. is it burnout ? is she ok ? honestly who knows

WANTED CONNECTIONS / TAKEN CONNECTIONS

found family ! pals n squad wanted. y’all gotta hav patience or ear plugs to power thru her self-indulgent mini-rants but shell luv ya back tenfold !

carpool buds ? cld be a pal ! or maybe yall had a lil argument or small beef but lu still drives ym bc her pride ? said mother earth first even tho the tension n silly drama is funny 

homies to smoochies ! just sum nsa makin out. cld be pals, cld be flirty, idk, but if u wanna kiss her shes probs ok w that

smoke bud ! just sum1 thats her go-to 2 smoke w on her breaks. knows not to call her out on how its not healthy fr a trainer yada yada she knows ok. let her live

an ex ? idk yet shes not rlly datey but thats out there

crushes ! this bitch hot but does she know how to flirt ? not rlly. watch her fumble

debate club ! aka sum1 she bickers w relentlessly. its valid, sum1 fite her. r u a worker or a club member ? either works. its a whole club bc she can have tons, lu can be hella annoying n testy

clients ! self-explanatory. do they get along tho ? lets find out ! 

( im officially braindead now but if y’all got more ideas or think theres smth lu wld fit just lmk !!! down 4 wtvr, wld luv 2 hash it out w yall <3 ) 

[spookyrobbins]

thinking abt s9 again and it still pisses me off how much of az's experiences and disability is viewed from callie's pov (like literally at some points). like disclaimer here bc i understand that the people around an amputee are affected by it too and i understand that (esp at the time) showing callie's pov and struggles was extremely novel. but callie's pov should have been a supplement to az's, not replacing it?? bc literally every single one of az's ig accomplishments?? 1/8 – darkness anon

are seen from callie's pov. it even goes into the way they film certain scenes. (note that i am not like a professional filmmaker but i did take courses on art interp) comparing two scenes - the scene where az walks across the apartment to the door w her prosthesis and like trips and breaks shit along the way vs the "i got back up" scene which are very different scenes that occur in the same location - i noticed smth rlly interesting abt the way the audience is positioned 2/8

in the first one. there is only one portion of the scene (lasting maybe one second) where we do not see arizona in frame. in fact, most of this scene, we see arizona from her side, and at the end, we see her facing forward, toward the camera. and that's significant bc when they do that, we don't see things like the character sees it. we see it like an audience. we literally don't see az's perspective even when she is the Only character on screen. the closest we get to that in this 3/8

is the split-second frame of the vase breaking and one of the outside of the apartment, pointing to where the files bailey promised should have been. what the scene conveys isnt necessarily az's experiences, as a result, and instead is showing us the results of bailey's plan to get az walking again, which is linked back to callie's feelings abt az's response to the amputation and,, yeah. admittedly though, this scene is probably one of the most arizona centric scenes in the season. 4/8

comparing a scene with similar setting - the i got back up scene - is super interesting though, because we can see that the directors are filming az's scenes the way they are on purpose. bc that scene starts from callie's perspective and stays there for the rest of the scene. we start with the camera behind callie as she stands outside the door of the apt, and then cuts to a side/frontal angle so we can see her expression at the sound of az giggling behind the door 5/8

then she opens the door and we cut to a frontal angle so we instantly see callie's reaction to smth behind the camera and then turn around and show us what she's reacting to. compared to how they framed az opening the door in the 9x06 scene (they focus on the empty floor first and then pan up to az, emphasising the importance of the empty floor over az's reaction). and even when the camera is focused on az and sofia, it's callie's voice that we hear first and she asks if az 6/8

had a good day and then az reveals oh well i fell down and then we cut back to callie for her reaction. and then az responds w "i got back up". but the "i got back up" part? literally lasts less than a second before we cut back to callie again. and after that the cam cuts between focusing on callie and watching az and sofia from callie's pov (u can argue that the focus on callie is sofia's pov but i dont think that makes much sense? idk) but yeah. its like really weird too bc 7/8

in the same ep, they have the scene where az actually falls and its filmed so similarly to this scene in some ways and even though some of these techniques are used on az, it emphasizes alex's pov more than it does az and ugh idk. s9 irritates me in both the storyline and filming ig is the conclusion here. and uhh just realised how super long this got so like. feel free to not,, respond? like i get that this is like ridiculous and im sorry my dude 8/8

no no but you're so right. i've said it before (i think) and i'll say it again: the show disproportionately favours callie's pov over arizona's (it does this with other characters, like meredith's over derek's, but to a slightly less extreme i think) - part of this i think is bc callie was there first and arizona is written as a love interest exclusively. but the whole amputation storyline really showed this to an extreme

i also think that the amount of time spent in callie's pov is part of the reason that the cheating felt so extremely ooc/cheap emotional payoff. i've seen various places where people have said that cheating can be part of depression/ptsd/trauma (and i fully agree/believe that) and that could fit in arizona's storyline - except the audience never really saw her dealing with that. there was the stuff at the beginning of the season and then arizona seemed fine? and the challenge of arizona i think is that she's very internal and taking away teddy and mark (to an extent) sort of limited her external processes, which left the viewer thinking that arizona was doing okay. but the effect of not showing us arizona's pov is that it comes out of left field (which is you were writing not filming from callie's pov could work bc limited 3rd person) is that it just seems out of character and tawdry and you have to create miscarriages to explain her behaviour

the way they filmed/wrote 95% of calzona's scenes in s9 were focused on callie and her feelings. even scenes that on the surface seem to be about arizona are really centered on callie. like for instance the shoes before bailey's wedding. arizona is struggling with self-worth and beauty and this would be a perfect moment for arizona to have ownership in her journey - instead we get callie yelling at her about how "everything is about the leg", which i think does a disservice to arizona and also to callie's character, which has often been based around empathy (don't get me started on callie's empathy and how it relates to arizona lol) like you said, every one of arizona's moments/accomplishments is not really about her. and that was a problem with arizona's character from the start - it's never really about her - it's about other. for example: her telling callie about tim was about reassuring callie's feelings versus it being a moment to add depth to arizona's character

one more thing: i think the writers majorly screwed themselves with the amputation sl/how they approached it. in the same way that the plane crash dominated like 4 seasons on a wider scale, arizona's leg and amputation did on a smaller scale, but they set it up so poorly that it was almost unsalvageable. they wanted the pat on the back for having a disabled character, but they mismanaged the storyline so atrociously that by the time s10 rolled around they were sort of screwed and didn't know what to do with callie and arizona. it's also notable that by like what? s11 they just stop talking about arizona's leg entirely

lol my part got long too so i'll leave it here

[willykappymarnsmatts]

Wrong Direction: Chapter 2 (K. Kapanen)

@moriellymakesmesoft

“I just got off the phone with Max,” it's been two weeks since I've moved into Will’s place, my stuff still in boxes all over the apartment.

“Oh?’ William responds, tossing me a smoothie from the fridge as we get ready to go to practice. I still go to sleep in tears and wake up with puffy eyes, but Willy makes me feel like everythings going to be okay, if not today then someday soon. “How is he?”

“Good,” I tell him, scratching at the back of my neck, refusing to look up at him knowing what comes next. “He asked me to come stay with him. Well, he didn't ask. He's kinda forcing me.”

“Oh,” Will says. He turns around and faces me with a look on his face of a mix of betrayal and hurt, and it makes me want to burst into tears. “Um, well, are you gonna go?”

“I have to, babe. He's my brother, and he said that if I don't come by myself he'll pack my things for me the next time he comes to Toronto.” I feel bad, but I do miss Max.

Willy just frowns at me. “When are you leaving?”

“Uh, tomorrow. He said he'd buy me a plane ticket.”

“To Montreal?! I could drive you!”

“I know, its okay. He’s the one paying so I don't really care honestly. Don't we have to get going?’

“Yeah,” he giggles, glancing at the watch on his wrist.

On our way to the arena, I take deep breaths to try to calm my racing heart and shaking hands. Seeing Kasperi this often still hurts just as bad as seeing him in bed with that girl. But the whole situation has given me a lot of inspiration for a new song that i've been working on, bouncing ideas off of Will day and night.

He notices my agitation and reaches over to grab my hand. “After this, you won't ever have to see him or me ever again.”

“Hey, don't say that,” I pout. “I'll be back and i'll move back in with you, if you let me, in a couple months. I just need a break from Toronto. Everything I know is laced with memories of him. I can't even enjoy your games because he's there.”

Will nods without looking away from the road. “You're always welcome at my place. We’re all still really pissed at him, you know. Mitch hasn't spoken to him since that night, and you know how Mitch is. Auston doesn't even look at him, and Zach’s only talking to him because he feels bad that everyone is making every effort to ignore him but me. The whole fucking team loves you, Y/N. Oh, and Derms took a slapshot at his ankle the other night and he had to sit out for an entire period.”

My eyes are brimmed with tears and I have to look up at the ceiling of the car to keep them from spilling over. “Can you let the guys know i'm leaving? I'll obviously talk to them, but I don't want to be the one to break the news to them.”

Will nods. “Of course.” he smiles at me then and looks away from the road for a split second to wipe away a tear.

•••

I sit in the third row to watch the boys’ practice and try to continue writing, but the yelling and pucks hitting the boards constantly is distracting, so eventually I give up and watch them skate. During a water break, I catch myself watching Kasperi. All he does is take a few deep breaths, but watching him like this, as if nothing ever happened, makes my heart shatter. Before I can look away, he looks up at me and I watch his entire face fall. He stares at me and I stare back. He studies me, as if to memorize me. I can't look away, and he refuses to skate away. He continues forward, until he's at the boards and we’re a few feet away from each other. Neither of us can pretend we weren't looking at each other. He stops, and so does my heart. And we just watch each other. Just stare. My heart is breaking with every moment that passes, and my stomach hurts, because he was my everything.

A whistle blows. Kasperi whips his head around. The sounds of the rink come back into my ears, and we’re both taken out of the world where we were the only two people who existed. He skates away, glancing back at me once before never looking back at me again.

•••

“Y/N,” Willy says as soon as I answer his facetime call. I've been in Montreal with Max for about two months and I released my song about a week ago. Wills is driving back from practice, which is when he gives me a rundown on how “incredible” he was and how he's gonna kick ass at the next game. But today he looks anything but confident, his forehead a mass of worry lines and his mouth turned down into a frown.

“Y/N, your song is saved on my playlist, and I got the aux this morning. After practice, it came on. Most of us were singing, and I glanced at Kap, and he was just sitting there in his stall. He wasn't moving. Just staring straight ahead.”

I sit up. “Woah, slow down. I thought Kasperi and I were finished.” When I moved away, after the day at the rink, Will told me that Kasperi stopped seeming to care. He was out with a different girl every two days, bringing random girls home every day of the weekend. It still hurts, but it hurt more to realize that our entire relationship meant nothing to him. But if Will is telling the truth, which I don't doubt he is, it makes everything a whole lot more confusing.

“I thought so too, but listen. I think that it was your voice at first, Y/N. He hasn't heard your voice in months. And then he heard the rest of the song, he listened without moving, and as soon as it ended he got up, in just his slides and shorts, and fucking left the room.”

I'm silent, letting Will talk. “The rest of us didn't know what to do, so I tried to follow him. I found him in the weights room, and he was in tears.” Will flicks on the turn signal and turns onto his street, then glances at his phone to see if he should continue the story. I nod at him, holding my breath to keep from breaking down at the thought of Kasperi.

“I went to him and sat with him, and he just cried. I haven't seen him cry since he thought I was getting promoted to the bigs and he wasn't. But he was sobbing. So I sat with him, and eventually he calmed down enough to choke out that he misses you. He told me the girls were a front, and that he hasn't been able to sleep ever since that night. And, Y/N, I dont think he's lying. His eyes always have huge bags under them and he's so shaky. So I asked him why he did it, but he didn't have an answer. He said he missed you and he felt like you didn't love him anymore because you were always out doing stuff for your album, but I told him that was bullshit and he said he knew it. He told me he can't breathe without, and that he hates that he hurt you. So I told him to talk to you, and he said he'd try to text you later today.”

“Damn,” I respond, not sure how to feel. “I want to love him again, but I don't know if I can trust him.”

“You don't have to. He knows he hurt you, and that he has to work to get you back, but I am asking you to please just try to talk to him, because fuck, Y/N, if there’s a such thing as soulmates, it’s you guys. You're both in so much pain. Take your time, keep your walls up, but just talk to him.”

“Okay. Okay, fine.”

“Thank you, beautiful best friend. I'm home now, so I'll call you back in a couple hours?”

“Yeah, that’s cool. See ya.”

He ends the call and I'm left in silence. Then my phone dings with a text notification in my hand, and my heart picks up speed. I know exactly who it is, and I don't want to look at it, not right away, so I throw it across the couch with a pillow on top of it.

I put my head in my hands and try to slow my speeding heart by taking a few deep breaths. “Fuck!” I yell, then silently thank Max for going out a few hours ago. I wipe my face with my hands and sit straight up.

I stare at the pillow my phone is sitting under, knowing without ever checking that there is a text from Kasperi Kapanen waiting for me. My phone dings again and my heart jumps. I stand up and rip my phone from under the pillow.

‘wrong direction huh’

‘i miss u’

I cover my mouth with my hand and my eyes brim with tears. I sit back slowly onto the couch and read over the messages two, three, four more times before unlocking my phone and tapping on the text bar.

‘Dang, how'd u know it was abt u?’

I smile slightly as I type out the message and hold my breath when I hit send. I don't have to wait even a second before the three bubbles come up on the screen.

‘no idea’

‘ig im just tht good’

I laugh and type out another response.

‘Imyt. How r u?’

I bite my lip when the text bubbles come up, and a few seconds later his response comes.

‘could be better tbh. can’t sleep @ the apt nymore so i spend the nites b4 games @ 1 of the guys places’

My breath catches at the words. Then another message pops up.

‘im so sry 4 everything’

I bite my lip and close my eyes, taking a breath.

‘Thx. I havent stopped thinking abt u’

‘me neither’

I take another deep breath. Kasperi was my favourite person, my person, for so long. It's scary how easily we can fall back into simple, comfortable conversation, as if nothing ever happened. So I decide to be straight up and honest with him, and if he really does still care about me, he’ll understand.

‘U broke me, Kasperi. I never thought tht u would hurt me, and u literally broke me. I miss u more than nything and it hurts so bad to b without u, but seeing u in bed with another girl, tht broke me. It felt like our whole relationship was built on lies, and tht u never actually cared abt me. So yeah, i cant stop thinking abt u, and i want to b able to love you again, but u broke my trust and idk if ill ever trust u like i did before.’

I hit send and feel like I'm going to be sick. Everything I type I’ve told Will and all the other guys, but after the day I left the apartment, I never spoke to Kasperi about anything. The three bubbles come up on the screen and I hold my breath, then they disappear. They come up and disappear a couple more times, until a message finally pops up on the screen.

‘i wish i could take back everything i ever did 2 hurt u, but ik its not tht ez. i rly do want 2 fix this, tho. would u b down to ft l8r?’

I can't breathe, but I manage to type out a response without screaming.

‘Sure. Just text me when ur ready’

I take a deep breath and click my phone off. I'm about to get up when my phone dings again. I glance at the message and it makes my chest feel like it's going to explode.

‘ok i will <3’

I smile down at the screen and go to plug in my phone so it's charged when Kasperi wants to call. I really don't know if I'll ever be able to trust him again, but the least I can do is give him a chance to apologize. He's already broken me so badly, even if he lets me down again nothing will compare to the amount of hurt I’ve already felt.

[freeshavacado]

My thoughts while reading Gone by Michael Grant:

* wait how old is Sam

* He do be liking Astrid doe

* Damn so Sam is a Leader

* Ew Orc is an 8th grader? 🤮

* Ok I googled it Sam is 14

* I like Quinn

* Sam thinks he’s so awkward but he’s actually really chill so far

* THE PAIN THIS GIRL IS GOING THROUGH OH MY GOD

* Poor Mary :(

* Howard’s a bitch

* Cut to Quinn being a racist motherfucker

* I love Edilio

* Sam is WHIPPED for Astrid

* Orc is such a piece of shiiiiiit

* LANAAAAA :(((

* Poor thing is in so much pain

* Patrick her dog is alive so that’s good

* She’s deadass slowly dying

* Thank god her arm is better

* I want to make this into a TV series

* If Sam and Astrid don’t kiss at some point I swear

* Hahahaha Sam do be shirtless rn

* Why isn’t Astrid happy to see Little Pete???

* MARY. IF YOU POUR HOT ASS COFFEE ON A CHILD, DONT JUST STAND THERE AND THEN RUN AWAY. PUT COLD WATER ON THE BURN

* Aw Mary has had bulimia since she was ten :(

* Ok so what she just took her Prozac and then threw up? Wouldn’t the pill go up too? I think your stomach/body needs like 30 minutes to absorb it into the blood stream...

* HELP SAM HES CHOKING

* Bruh my ass would be so exhausted

* Quinn low key an ass tho

* Lol edilio isn’t standing for this bullshit

* Lmaooo Astrid knew 💀

* Omg little Pete has it too

* Wow Quinn is an asshole pt 2

* I feel like Caine is gonna be a villain...like he’s pretty AND nice? Nah bro too good to be true

* Fucking Orc god 😒😒😒

* Caine is up to some shit 🤨

* Lmao hold up

* Diana probably whipped tho

* Sam please only be a simp for Astrid 😩

* I bet Drake is hot

* Aww computer Jack :) DONT YOU TURN ON ME SON

* “The captain is already maintaining” Bullshit 💀

* Are they really gonna call this eighth grader ‘Captain’?

* LMAOOO THE BASTARD CANT EVEN READ OR WRITE 💀💀💀

* Lol making Sam the fire chief because he was brave enough to go into a fire one time, so therefore he is the most qualified

* Bruh that’s like if I gave a kid the Heimlich maneuver bc he was choking on a gummy worm or some shit and they were like “Well because she did that, she should be the head doctor!!!”

* CAINE IS FULL OF SUCH BULLSHIT OML

* PRETENDING TO CRY N SHIT GOD

* I already know that Diana is gonna try and seduce Sam while she’s actually a spy for the private school kids

* Which, btw, of course it’s the private school kids smh

* I feel like maybe Computer Jack will be someone who eventually switches to the Good Side

* ALSO wow jack really be thinking that he’s smarter than Astrid smh 🙄

* Jack is such a smartsass

* Diana is such a fucking bitch oh my god 😒😒😒

* “You don’t look tough, Astrid” STFU SHES THE TOUGHEST OF THEM ALL

* Ok but I bet Diana and Astrid low key have sexual tension. Like obviously nothing’s gonna happen...but still

* Bruh I hate Caine

* Fuckin Diana with her ‘readings’ bullshit smh

* YESSSS LANA 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 so strong

* Literally how do they not know how to make pasta

* “I thought your people ate tortillas,” QUINN YOU RACIST PEICE OF SHIT UGH

* Poor Bette :(

* Orc is a piece of shit, I know we’ve already established this but I wanted to say it again

* I love Edilio so much

* Orc really using a slur against Edilio huh. Imma kill him

* IM SO DONE WITH QUINN. THIS BITCH REALLY JUST SAID “let him have her” LIKE TF????

* Drake is such a bastard oh my god

* If you hate Quinn and you know it clap your hands 👏🏻👏🏻

* No seriously. I fucking hate him.

* Nooooo Bette died :((

* “I can’t kiss you with your little brother watching” AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

* Did they kiss or not wtf

* What the hell is up with this cat

* Ah so they did kiss!!

* Why didn’t I get details 🤨

* No a baby died 😞

* Quinn s u c k s

* How convenient that Sam got there *right* before Emma disappeared

* Those last 6 minutes before Anna disappeared too and was calling out to her sister, and so for what she thought was her last few minutes on earth she held sams hand :(

* Lol Diana sucks

* ‘WoRDs DONT sCArE mE’ shut up Drake

* Okay Computer Jack is definitely going to betray them because they underestimate him and take him for granted

* You’re telling me Caine and Sam could be TWINS???

* Why was the kiss ‘a mistake’ ?

* Okay NOW they’re awkward

* “But it was the first time I meant it” I CANT. ITS SO CHEESY

* I HATE QUINN

* These kids are crazy violent

* Fuck Diana

* Yikes now Sam only has some of his eyebrows left 😬

* Caine is in love with Diana 👀

* Little Pete might be more powerful than Caine 😛

* THESE KIDS ARE CRAZY LIKE CHILL

* Diana: I really dislike you Astrid: of course you dislike me, I make you feel inferior

* ROASTED ^

* Mmmm Quinn is trying to redeem himself

* “Don’t call me brah. I’m not your brother” OHHHHHHHHHHH HE REALLY WENT THERE

* that’s what you get for being a backstabbing asshole

* Poor Astrid :(

* Poor Little Pete :(

* Bro I need this to be a movie

* I love that Sam just punched Quinn like we had no choice but to stan

* Ok drake would definitely shoot up a school

* Fuck Drake

* Lana is so strong. Like she’s been in so much pain physically and mentally, and she almost died. But she saved herself and now even though she thinks she might be the only person left alive on earth, she is still keeping strong.

* What happens if the boat runs out of gas?

* Bruh these coyotes don’t give up

* THE COYOTES AGAIN??

* “Go out” “You’ll kill me,” “Yes. Go out, die fast. Stay, die slow”

* Wowwwwwwwwwww^

* Lmaooo “L.P.”

* Awwww Sam: “...she was still so beautiful that sometimes he had to look away.”

* Okay he a lil’ horny

* Awe Astrid and Sam hugging I’m soft 🥺

* I’m so sick of these damn coyotes

* Bruh these coyotes 😒

* Diana is annoying

* Literally can’t remember who Andrew is, but they’re about to film his passing away like wtf

* Poor Andrew :(

* “You’re a deep sleeper, Jack. Just now, while you were sleeping? I held your pudgy little hand. Probably as close as you’ll ever get to holding hands with a girl. Assuming you even like girls.” FUCK YOU DIANA

* Okay so Diana will protect Jack as long as he ‘belongs’ to her and does what ever she wants? That’s pretty sus

* Sam and Astrid kissed again 😖☺️

* Lmaooo Albert over here running McDonald’s

* Salads disappeared quickly from the McDonald’s menu since this whole thing? Who the hell orders a salad from McDonald’s?

* So Albert kinda whipped for Mary 👀

* I haaaaatttteeee the private school kids

* Y’know what depending on where I was and who I was with in this situation, I might’ve just killed myself

* “Remember who owns you” ew 🤨

* Diana. I hate you

* Bro I feel bad for Andrew

* How is Lana back at the cabin?

* That IS Lana right??

* Okay things are moving fast between Sam and Astrid. Like she’s already saying “I just want you here with me. Safe” like 🤢

* Lana, about Sam: your boyfriend? Astrid: ThAts nOt WhAt iTs AbouT

* LMAOO AFTER SHE SAID THAT SHE SAID IN A LOW VOICE “kind of” WHAT

* Lol Lana be out here like “yeah shits crazy. Get with the program”

* Ew they’re eating pudding with their hands 🤮

* I don’t care how hungry you are, that’s gross

* Like get a spoon or something

* Lana just called Astrid “smart girl Barbie” 🤨

* Part of me is like “lol” but the other part of me is like “bruh stop Astrid did nothing wrong”

* I still hate Quinn but he is kind of funny

* Lana calling Astrid “the blonde” like girl 😑

* Bruh you’re stuck in a house that is literally on fire and getting hotter by the second as it fills with smoke, now is not the time to be kissing Astrid

* Finally the damn coyotes are gone.

* Sam is so angry and he’s disgusted with himself for being so angry, I relate

* Fuck you, Quinn

* Fuck drake

* I would gladly kill Drake

* OOOOOOOOO EDILIO LIKES LANA AHHHHHH

* SIMP

* omg I love it 😩

* Lmaooooo Sams speech wow

* Sam you should NOT forgive Quinn. Especially not that fast. Yikes.

* Orc should feel bad for killing Bette. I have no pity for him rn

* Yes please kill drake.

* I am so happy that his arm is on fire. 100% he deserves to feel that pain

* Aww that’s kinda nice that Albert is planning thanksgiving dinner for everyone

* DAMMIT DRAKE

* I hate drake so much like dude just shut up and leave everyone alone

* Orc oh my god I could not be rolling my eyes harder right now

* Tbh if Orc and his other friends die, I’m okay with that

* What tf is up with this DVD

* Little Pete caused all of this??? 😦

* I’m sooooo sick of this whole darkness and coyote stuff istg

* Where is Patrick?????

* If Patrick is dead imma throw hands

* Diana is such an evil person. Like Drake is a monster, but she’s horrible in a different way.

* Also ughhhhhhhhhh Drake is back 😒😒😒😒😒 so sick of that mf

* “So. When do we go take down Sam Temple?” 🙄🙄🙄 no one likes you Drake

* AHAHAHHSJAHSHSHHSHD

* SAM JUST TOLD ASTRID HE LOVED HER

* AND SHE SAID IT BACK

* IM. S O F T

* (like my brain is still saying “y’all have talked for less than two weeks and you’re 14”)

* But like whatever 😭❤️

* My eyes just rolled into the back of my skull once Diana appeared

* Taylor low key flirting with Sam tho 👀

* When I first met Dekka, I was all: ‘what the hecka?’

* THOSE DAMN COYOTES

* I’m crying because Quinn couldn’t kill Drake because he was scared, and now children are screaming. Ugh I really wanted him to kill Drake but I understand that killing someone is a crazy thing to have on your conscience

* Call me cold hearted, but I would’ve shot him

* This is all in theory of course ^ I bet if I was in that situation though it wouldn’t be as easy as “just shoot him”

* I don’t think I’ve ever been more annoyed with a fictional character than I am with Drake rn

* Yooo I bet Isabella has some animal powers or sumn

* Caine 🙄🙄🙄 like that emoji doesn’t even come close to describing how annoyed I am

* Wait so is Patrick back now or...?

* Caine really just. Kissed Diana. Because she “owed him”????

* THIS IS SOME BULLSHIT

* I literally hate sooooooooo many characters in this book ugh 😒😒😒

* Quinn is watching Drake kill Sam and is doing nothing. I’m so done with this piece of shit

* Ok finally he tried to shoot him

* “You know it always gets me hot when you say ‘apt analogy.’” “Why do you think I do it?”

* Y’all 🥴🥴🥴

* THOSE DAMN COYOTES

* Literally? Imagine being this heartless. Giving up hundreds of kids to coyotes without hesitation. The hate I have for Caine is real

* Once again, Orc feeling bad for what he did to Bette. And honestly? I’m still okay with that

* This kid is an a l c o h o l i c

* Computer Jack is so annoying like dude stop holding on to Sams leg. Literally

* Still hate Diana, but I like that she’s helping out Sam a little bit

* Ew Diana just kissed Sam on the corner of his mouth 🤢

* I TOLD YALL ^^^

* Yay Patrick is alive :)

* “I guess we won,” Sam said. “Yeah,” Edilio agreed. “I’ll get the backhoe. Got a lot of holes to dig.”

* ^im. Depressed

* I cannot for the life of me remember who Cookie is

* “Orc sat with Howard in a corner by themselves. Orc had fought Drake to a standstill. But no one-least of all Orc-had forgotten Bette.”

* ^good.

* Y’all Sam and Astrid flirting I- 🥴🥴

* We love to see it ^

* Awww “we’re going to the beach” y’all Astrid and Sam are so cute

* THOSE DAMN COYOTES

* FUCK. Goddamn this cliffhanger 😡

[rorynne]

Time Lost (Rewrite) Prologue

Pairing: Bucky Barnes/Reader

Summary: An accident during a mission sends you back in time to the second world war. There you enlist the help of Peggy Carter, Steve Rogers, and Bucky Barnes to find the object that can send her back.

Warnings: 

Word count: 1.8k

A/N: This is a rewrite of an OC fic that I have been writing and been wanting to turn into a reader Fic. Im unsure if I will be continuing the OC fic currently, I may just transfer it completely to my reader Fic. Currently 6 chapters are up of the OC fic, and I shall be posting a rewritten chapter every few days on here. 

Masterlist

You adjusted your dress slightly as you watched the party from you perch atop a high barstool. Who would have thought that experimental arms dealers liked 40’s themed parties? Apparently other arms dealers by the looks of it. “This place is a real whos who of people you don’t want to fuck with, isn’t it?” You stated more than asked as you stirred your drink with a mixing straw.

“Yeah, unless you’re us.” Clint’s voice said through the communication device in your ear.

You chuckled, taking a sip of your drink. “Unless you’re us. How is setting up that distraction going?” You peeked down the hall where two guards stood watch over the entrance to another corridor. “Macho Man and Biceps Mcgee don’t look apt to let me through.”

“Patience Y/N/N, patience.” You rolled your eyes as he continued. “The Blues Brothers should be off your back in a few minutes.”

“Stop calling me that. I didn’t need to help you with this mission, remember?” You said, leaning against the bar. This was not how you intended to spend your day off. “Why did I agree to this again?”

“Because I’m your best friend and you love me?” He offered as the lights flickered. You looked down the hall again to see the two guards moving to investigate. Bingo.

“Oh, right.” You said as you slid off the stool. “You wouldn’t stop begging me until I caved.” Head held high, you walked into the hallway as if you owned the place. “You owe me an introduction to Captain America when this is done.”

“You know, I wouldn’t need to introduce the two of you if you just joined the avengers.” He said as you turned down the now unguarded corridor. “The door you’re looking for should be on your left.”

“I don’t like the limelight.” You defended, “Remember the entire reason why you’re asking me to do this is because you can’t walk into a room without being recognized anymore. Not after what happened in New York.”

“Yeah, yeah. You would think people would have forgotten by now.” Clint grumbled making you stifle a laugh. Forget the people that saved New York from giant space whales? As if. You tried the door Clint had directed you to and found it locked. You sighed. “Probably should have expected that.” You pulled a bobby pin out of your hair and started to pick the lock. “So what exactly am I looking for here? Just some files?”

“That’s what Hill said.” He confirmed. “Probably something on the tech they are trying to sell, you know, arms dealery stuff.” The lock clicked and the door swung open. You quickly slipped inside, closing the door behind you.

Wasting no time, you immediately started pilfering the desk in front of you, looking for anything that might be of note. “This guy’s desk is a fucking mess. Do you have any clue what I’m looking for specifically?”

“Uhhh,” Clint replied, making you groan.

“You didn’t think to ask for specifics?” Jesus Christ, half of these documents are in german, do you even kn-” Your eyes went wide as you looked up. You didn’t know how you managed to miss the giant, bell-shaped, hunk of metal with a fucking swastika in the middle of it when you entered the room, but you did. Especially since, now that you noticed it, the thing seemed to produce a low, unnatural hum. “Uh, Clint?”

“What is it? Did you find something? You gotta hurry up the guards are on their way back.” Clint urged as you approached the Nazi bell.

“Are you sure Maria only said anything about files?” The bell seemed to grow more agitated as you stepped closer, vibrating strongly enough that its edges seemed to blur. “What the hell is this thing?” As you reached out, the door crashed open. You whipped around to see the two guards from earlier, their guns aimed directly at you. Thinking fast, you dove towards the desk as the guns fired. The bullets hit the bell with a thundering clang, causing the bell to go deathly silent before emitting a dull blue glow. The glow quickly intensified into a blinding blue-white light until a shock wave of energy exploded from the bell with a deafening gong.

You were thrown against the back wall with such force you saw stars. Groaning, you stumbled to your feet as alarms started blaring. Swearing to yourself, you blindly grabbed a handful of loose papers, and ran out of the room, jumping over the two, now unconscious, guards in the process. Glancing both ways down the hall, you swore again as you saw a swarm of guards running down the way you came. Papers in hand, you sprinted down the corridor away from the guards.

“Clint? I could use a little back up right about now!” You hollered but got no response. “Clint!” you said again, raising a hand to your ear. Your heart dropped when you felt no communicator. “Son of a bitch.” Hooking a right down another hallway, you stumbled as the building shook, another loud gong ripping from the bell now rooms away. Damn, that thing was loud. The walls began to crack from the force of the shockwaves. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to realize that bell was going to bring the entire building down.

You looked over your shoulder, the guards were nowhere to be seen. God only knew if they were going to come back or if they had decided to save themselves. With the noises the building was making, you honestly couldn’t blame them if they chose the second option. The red glint of an exit sign caught your eye as you turned down yet another hall. “Thank god.” You gasped, forcing yourself to run just a little faster. You lunged at the exit as a third gong tore through the building.

You fell out of the emergency exit gasping for breath as the sound of sirens screeched overhead. You froze as you took in your surroundings. Why was it so dark? Pulling your phone out of your bra, you checked the time. 5:36 pm glowed up at you brightly. You shook your head, that was impossible. It was far far too dark. You looked back at the building you escaped from, only to find it completely restored to its original state. Except, you noticed, there was no door for you to exit out of. “What the fuck is going on here?”

The sirens continued as you turned on your phone’s flashlight. No signal, you noticed, great. You walked out of the alley and down the street, not a single light was on anywhere, not even streetlights. Did that bell have something to do with this? You looked down at the papers you managed to grab as the sound of planes roared overhead. ‘Die Glocke’ was all you were able to read before being unceremoniously dragged into the shop next to you.

“What the bloody hell do you think you’re doing? Walking around with a torch in the middle of an air raid? Are you mad?” The woman scolded, your phone in her hand. your jaw dropped as the woman fumbled with your phone: Peggy Carter. The Peggy Carter. The same one whose picture you passed every day walking into the shield offices. That Peggy Carter was now standing in front of you, trying to figure out how a cell phone worked. “How do you turn this bloody thing-”

An explosion rocked the street, shattering the glass of the shop they were in. Both women dove to the floor on instinct. You took the phone from Peggy and turned off the light. You popped your head up and peeked through the broken window. The building you had just escaped from was now reduced to a pile of rubble. Holy shit, you realized, That bell has sent you back in time. You had no chance to rationalize this information when you heard the signature sound of a gun being cocked. You turned to see Peggy pointing a pistol at your head.

“Who are you, what are you doing here, and what is that?” Peggy gestured to your phone. Oh god, how does someone even begin to explain time travel via nazi bell?

You took a deep breath. “Do you want the answer that makes me look like a nutcase? Or the quickly cobbled together lie you probably won’t believe?”

“I want the truth” Peggy answered firmly, making you feel very much like a scolded child.

“My name is Y/N L/N. I am here because of an accident.” You said slowly, trying to give yourself time to plan out how to explain time travel. “I, well, I was sent back in time by a giant Nazi bell.” You glanced at the crumpled papers still in your hand. “Here!” You shoved the papers towards Peggy. “Die Glocke, the bell! Maybe this can help explain it.” Peggy eyed you warily before taking the papers. Peggy squinted at them, reading slowly with the lack of light. Slowly, she lowered her gun, instead, focusing on the documents.

Peggy sighed, “You’re right. Your story does make you sound like a nutter, but these documents…” her voice trailed off as another bomb rocked the street. “It isn’t safe up here.” She said simply, grabbing you by the arm and pulling you towards the back of the building. “How did you get into this situation Y/N?”

You stumbled, trying to keep up with Peggy, as she dragged you through the shop. “I’m an agent of shield.” You paused for a moment, should you really be saying this? “An organization you help form after the war.”

“At this point, the war doesn’t feel like it will ever be over.” Peggy sighed again, stopping in front of a blank wall. She stepped forward and pressed an unseen switch. The wall opened up to reveal a small elevator.

You stopped just short of following Peggy inside. “Are you sure this is a good idea during an air raid?”

“We don’t have time for this nonsense,” Peggy said, rolling her eyes and pulling you in by the collar just as the doors began to close. Peggy looked over the papers again in the dim light of the elevator. “You said you were an agent Y/N?”

“Yes.”

“And no doubt you want to get back to your time.”

“Well, yeah, that would be preferable.”

Peggy nodded. “Then I supposed, you would have no issue helping us find this bell HYDRA created.”

You looked at her, “Who is ‘us’ in this equation?”

“The Strategic Scientific Reserve. SSR for short. Have you heard of it Agent L/N?” The elevator rattled as more bombs exploded above.

You scoffed, “Heard of it? I was named after one of the agents. Yeah, I’ll be glad to help, especially if it gets me home.”

Peggy furrowed her brow, “What agent were you named after?”

“Agent Y/N M/N L/N? My family has been in shield since its inception, I grew up hearing all the stories about her.”

Peggy shook her head as the elevator stopped. “There is no Agent Y/N L/N. Unless you count yourself.” She said before stepping out into the hall.

You went wide-eyed as Peggy’s words sank in. “Oh my god. I was named after myself.”

[ohgoddard]

What’s Faster? My Heart or Light Speed? Chapter 2

Space is the truest representation of space between atoms, the astounding nothing that exists is truly mindboggling. While billions of miles away I can see the shimmering lights of stars and the swirling masses of gas clouds and galaxies, I still find myself surrounded by nothing. An apt representation indeed.

Except I’m not truly alone. Mere days ago I was expecting my slow and uneventful death to occur, where I was then saved by the( and I sound like a school girl when I say this) illustrious Dr.O’Reilly, who has yet to tell me her first name. She and I spend a lot of time together right now, being the only ones awake on the ship. But, its mostly been my laying down on a bed due to my not eating and dehydration affecting my abilities to move. But that hasn’t stopped me from struggling around the ship when she’s not around (doing literally God knows what, there is no one else on this ship).

The ship seems to be made for so much more life, and I guess that makes sense. It would serve as our base when we got to the new planet. The good Doctor has a room to herself on this ship, one reserved for the Captain. She told me that he wouldn’t be using it for a few hundred more years, so he wouldn’t mind.

A few hundred more years. That is how much time was left in this little expedition we were on. I wouldn’t even eclipse one of those hundred years, let alone the other five or six. I tried to ask the Doctor about what we’re going to do for the rest of our lives here, but she just kinda smiled and said “Don’t you worry, i’ll think of something.” And let me tell you, right there no solar flare could match the level of heat that rose in my face when she gave me that smile. Could she have been flirting with me there? That little smile? Usually I talk to someone about this kind of stuff, but...no one appears to be here.

In a way I could say i’m trapped again, but this time its far worse. No, it is truly the worst. I am trapped by myself this time. Not in the “I am trapped and alone”, no no. Me myself is trapping me. Which sounds really dumb but i’m panicking ok?! What am I supposed to do when a VERY beautiful woman looks my way and gives me a sly smirk and potentially flirtatious sentence? I need to clear my head.

I,very slowly, throw the covers off of me and  (once again) very slowly move myself onto the crutches I've been provided. My ‘”room” was no more than a bed and dresser. A small TV screen hung over me, having the entirety of Earth’s media lexicon (how they got those companies to agree to put everything together a feat more impressive than space travel). Other than that, barren. I hobble over to my dresser to change out, and I sigh as I pull out an almost identical colorless white and blue streaked suit to the one I wore in my “coffin”.

It was a struggle to get on, what with the pain and general reluctance to leave my room at all. A trait I carried on from my childhood I guess. Eventually I do get everything on and I hobble outside my room to the communal area that was intended for far more people than who is currently using it. I.e. Me. And, surprisingly today, Dr. O’Reilly.  If one could stumble awkwardly in crutches as I could, then I would like to see them. It was like a new born deer. The doctor today was dressed in a yellow sweater, her usual lab coat,and Jack Skellington pajama pants. Her fluffy bunny slippers were as red as her hair, and i’m thinking my face as well. Her freckles mirrored the stars outside, her eyes like two planets obscuring them. I could get lost staring at her, and I would’ve had she not looked up from the book she was reading and cocked her head at me, her glasses slipping down her nose as she did so.

Now, I was never good around those I had a crush on. I act pretty much that same every time. This lead to my perpetual singularity. It comes in stages, whenever I talk to someone I’m interested in.

“G-good morning Doctor! Y-you’re here , why’re you here?”

First I stutter and try and be casual, which never happens.

She smirks (AHHHHH) and gets up from the lounge chair she was sitting in. “Ms. Derringer, are you having a cold? Your face is heating up and you’re shaking quite a bit.” Yeah there’s the second part, the shaking.”Now, this absolutely cannot go on. Go back in your room and I will take care of you.”

“W-wait im fine really. I-i’m not sick!” “I will not take no for an answer on this one, I am the doctor after all!” . She physically picks me up and turns me around. Which, left me in quite a bit of shock on a number of things. 1. The doctor was WAY stronger than I originally thought.I guess when you’re alone a ship what’re you to do? 2. I didn’t know I’d lost that much weight, but pretty happy I cut that down a bit not gonna lie. 3. AHHHHH THE DOCTOR TOUCHED ME, WHAT .

“Come on now, lets get back to bed. I’ll be right back.” She guided me back to my bed and laid me back down. She placed her hand on my head after wrapping me up. “Wow, you’re burning up! I think I was right on the money. I will be right back with something to help with this.” She was so close to me. I could smell the vanilla perfume she used. I think this is a kind of torture in countries, to be this socially awkward around someone who you absolutely cannot stop thinking about. Except its worse for me, because she is literally the only other person on this ship and I can’t help but think of her. Her being drop dead gorgeous is NOT helping me either.

A few minutes pass, me lying in my bed slowly dying of embarrassment. The door opens once again and the doctor is is back. And she is carrying a small tray. On it is a bowl and a water bottle. “ We’re going to give you the good old-fashioned medicine. Rest, soup, and hydration. And, company! I don’t believe you’ll get me sick, so i’ll spend some time with you today!” She closes her eyes and gives a huge smile. I’m reminded of my 8th grade literature class, saying that starting a war over one girl because of something as dumb as beauty. 

I wish I could eat my own words.

I was never much to be attracted to anyone, mostly because they never were back. However, now I find myself absolutely head over heels. A million reasons race in my head. Could it be because she saved my life and im just really thankful? Is it because she is the only one on the ship and we’d just naturally gravitate towards each other? Or do I truly feel these feelings for her.

“Oh! Let me bring in a chair so I can sit with you. And put on something cool! Like Firefly.” 

“What’s Firefly?” I ask. She stops in the doorway and turns around with an incredulous look on her face. “ Something that we’re going to watch immediately. We have all the time in the world, so you’re going to learn about the best shows to ever exist.” And as she left, I sat there in a state of utter...joy? It was in this minute that I knew I truly did like the doctor that way. Perhaps this could be the start of our relationship?

She came back in with one of the lounge chairs and pulled it up to my bed. As the show started, some scifi cowboy thing, I turned to her. 

“Doctor, I..I dont believe I got your name?”

She smiles.”Leah. And don’t worry, I already know yours.” 

[kvltprince]

tagged by @theredalice

hold on tight Im Doing This All

NAME: Lucy Radha Grandchester

NICKNAME: Lucifer, Little Light, Charmer or Wanderer depending on the playthrough, wanderer is more apt (he likes nicknames so seriously if anyone came up with one he loves it hes such a sap secretly)

AGE: ~45

SPECIES: Human

PERSONAL

MORALITY: all over the place. any lawfulness is his own, but he does have his own code of ethics. he has set things that he does because he is supposed to, but enough that he is disinterested in doing the right thing that most slate him as chaotic neutral or worse.

RELIGION: god abandoned him as a child and continued to do so during the war - he has his own set of nihilistic beliefs (and gets influenced by the children of atom at times on top of it)

SINS(greed//gluttony//sloth//lust//pride//envy//wrath): He doesnt really believe in sins and so like, this whole concept is so moot. “Live life to the fullest, shits sake how many damn times do I need to almost die to live my life how I want to? Fuck those limits. Gimme the Fancy Lads and the Iguana Bits. Yes I know what they are.”

VIRTUES(chastity//charity//diligence//humility//kindness//patience//justice): If it is something he deems worth it he is extremely patient and thoughtful about whatever it is, be it another person or something that is being planned out. As ive said before he has his own moral code, but it is fairly unwaivering and he is not going to budge from it, it is a good thing and he will stick up for those that need it if it meshes with his own. 

KNOWN LANGUAGES: English, his Spanish is real patchy, bits of Urdu and Arabic that is a bigger mess, a lot was discouraged just before the war. 

PHYSICAL

BUILD (scrawny/bony/slender/fit/athletic/curvy/herculean/pudgy/plus size/average): varies a bit but hes chubby and has some muscle

HEIGHT: 5′5″ ish?

SCARS/BIRTHMARKS: hooboy. okay. bunch of vitiligio, mostly on the left side of his body hands, face, torso, what is left of his leg. He only has about half of his thigh on the left side, the rest was lost from an explosion in Alaska when  he was deployed during the war. Many smaller shrapnel scars from the explosion. Other scars on his arms and face some self inflicted some from accidents some from fights.  

ABILITIES/POWERS: nah, but hes always been pretty good with improvised fighting 

FAVOURITES

FOOD: Fancy Lads

PIZZA TOPPING: radscorpion egg and hotsauce

COLOR: aqua

MUSIC GENRE: metal/punk

MOVIE GENRE: action or something really over the top art

CURSE WORD: some nonsencical compound one that will change weekly

SCENTS: dried spices, roasting meats

FUN STUFF

BOTTOM OR TOP: porque no los dos

SINGS IN THE SHOWER: nah

LIKES PUNS: yes and it probably drives people batty.

OC Phrases: Bold the phases that you connect with one of your ocs.

SIGHT. small towns. big cities. six thirty curfews. lights that take the place of stars. blanket nests. light through the blinds as a wake-up call. found family. finding a single star in the middle of new york city. window shopping.watching something terrible and enjoying it. growing numb to the sight of injustice. wilted flowers. faded caricatures. bright, bold colours.

HEARING. crickets and lightning bugs. car engines and a / c units. a phone call to mum/dad. laughing with friends. jokes that are so bad you have to laugh. the clicking of computer keys. noise cancelling headphones. the sound of silence. muffled music from another room. drumming fingertips on a table. the clicking of pens. listening to a clock and swearing the ticks get slower. ringing in the ears. the voice of someone you love. pitch shifted songs.

TOUCH. being held close during a long night. fleeting reassurances. holding hands when you’re scared. brushing fingers through strands of hair. freshly dried clothes. bruises on your knuckles. silk and satin. your favourite pet’s fur or feather. wringing your hands anxiously. snuggles. comforters in the dead of winter. nails against skin. cold metal. leather in summer.

TASTE. coffee in the morning. tea in the evening. bubblegum that lost its flavor. alcohol burning the back of your throat. homemade cooking, no matter what’s made. blood in your mouth. stale air. mint. fresh vegetables. that processed taste of citrus candy. the first meal you cook by yourself that tastes good. foreign sweets. fast food. bittersweet. sour. spicy. sweet. bitter. too much salt on fries

OC and Songs

Lucy Playlist

All of the songs in there represent him or his story in some way (and its so not in any order but hey thats okay)

Thank you for reading! Also, please feel free to do this yourself with your own character and tag me! I’d love to see your character!

[urumisu]

🔥 Cuddling (for All Of Them)

FROM

oh god this is gonna be long

urumisu loves cuddling; they love tangling limbs and pressing kisses into peoples necks and humming into their skin – even if they don’t get very serious with relationships, they’re still very.. idk, sensual? intimate? they aren’t afraid of just being sweet, even if its with someone they’ve only been seeing for a little bit. its just kinda How They Do

fu— miss him entirely with that shit, platonic, romantic, intimate, or otherwise! it would take someone eons to become a person fu would actually be comfortable .. cuddling with. that isn’t to say its impossible, but.. while i do think fu is very touch starved, he’s just so… simultaneously uncomfortable with being touched in those sensual or vulnerable ways , such as cuddling. that all being said, there is… if he’s knocked properly silly after a romp, he might just be delirious enough to wrap his arms around someone and fall asleep like that, and promptly deny it if asked about it when he eventually came to–

kibito honestly loves just having people close to him; in his lap, in his arms, leaned into him–you name it! he just loves the contact with most anyone, platonic or romantic or otherwise. that being said, he isn’t comfortable reaching out to people and taking them under his arm unless he’s completely certain they enjoy the feeling as well, and he’s so.. awkward about these kinds of things that it might take a bit of him just sort of pining for it before he ever does anything about it

gramma also loves cuddling! hes far more open about asking people if they’d like to curl up next to him than probably any of my other muses; he’s so often spotted taking naps and offering for people to join him, it just comes very naturally with it. as far as more intimate situations go, though, he’s not as apt to cuddling as he normally would be; that is, so far, he’s had no experience with such things, and would probably be far too flustered to jump right into the sweet-nothings and gushy stuff

goku isn’t much of a cuddler any day of the week; he might get moods where he wants to wrap his arms around chi-chi when they turn in for the night, but he’s not ever really pining for it! its something nice to do from time to time, but not very high up on his priorities

caulifla acts very tough in the day-to-day, but as soon as she gets to be alone with a girl shes with, she is a Teddy Bear. shes a Sucker for cuddles and kisses and being sweet and cute with her gf , and honestly–isn’t afraid of being such in public ! she just usually isn’t–not from some conceived notion of ‘oh im not tough if i act like this in public’, but she just doesnt care for pda

towa, like her son, is not fond of cuddles. as difficult as it is already for fu to become comfortable enough with someone to .. willingly accept or initiate such a thing, its even more improbably that towa would ever come to such a point, either. there’s just something in her head that–can’t be comfortable in such.. tenderness, i guess

mira, like android 16 below, is going to also have a very limited perception on cuddling; however, unlike 16, and unlike towa and fu, under the hardwired desire for strength and to fight, he actually… kind of desires them, whether he realizes it or not. it might not even be that he wants some form of sensuality or intimacy, but rather that–plainly? he’s just.. curious. he’s a married man, technically–isn’t this what he should want?

16′s understanding of cuddling is very limited.. he’s aware that when he sees a nice animal, he wants to pet it, or hold it, or be gentle with it. if a cat curled up in his lap, he’s be very grateful! as far as people, though; he probably.. wouldn’t quite understand the desire for someone to wrap themselves around his waist, or his arm. it isn’t to say he wouldn’t ever understand, but at the moment, he’s not sure what .. to make of the notion, i guess

kibito kai, like kibito, is also very keen on cuddles! often he finds himself not sure whta to do with his hands–so reaching toward someone and fussing with their hair or their fingers or their clothes keeps him busy and kind of relaxed.. and hes also a cuddler in bed!

[rosyerim]

fwb↠ lovers!yukhei

warnings; obvi sexual stuff, some cursing, 16++!!!

listen i am a HOE for lucas

but lbr so are u 

who isn’t like have you SEEN that man GOD

anywho letzgetit

lucas aka wong yukhei was one of your friends ever since u two got paired up for a presentation in college

super cocky when u approached him first 

u were like

“hi so will we go to yours ?”

he was like

“( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) oh we’re goin to mine huh? that fast u must want me bad( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)“

u just rolled ur eyes and was like

“listen here u damn TREE i meant so we could work on the presentation!!”

he’s like “yea sure whatever u say babe”

so u just rolled ur eyes again and was abt to leave before he grabbed ur hand and was like im jk!! gimme ur number so we can sort out a day

so u do bc i mean who wouldnt give lucas their number

when u get home u already have a message from him

“hey it’s lucas :)”

“lemme know what day suits u, im p much free all week!”

he actually wasn’t free all week but would have cancelled any plans for u in a heartbEAT 

little do u know, homeboy been lowkey crushin’ on you ever since he saw u strut into the same lecture room as him

then u tripped but thats BESIDes tHe poInT

u text back and are like

“i’m free tommorow if that suits u?”

you didn’t expect a text back so quick

you put your phone down for 00.02 seconds before

WHA-PING

its ya boi lucas double texting u

“yeah i’m free haha said i was free all week :)”

“that came off as kinda passive aggressive im sorry thats not what i meant??”

hehehe u just smile to ur self what a cutie

you set up to meet at the campus cafe the next day at like 2pm bc god knows ur ass won’t be up before 1pm

again once u put ur phone down thinking the convo was over

WHA-PING-DING

its lucas again 

“so..what are u doin rn? i’m just workin out haha :)”

wong yukhei rlly out here bein all fuckboyish and shit but u bein ur good, sin free self ignore the DEVILS calling and go do ur own things around the house

ignoring the WHA-PINGS

next day rolls around 

you’re at the cafe like 10 mins early because u didn’t want to b late 

and woahh whose already sitting inside at the corner table w two chairs??

and two steaming cups of coffee??

yeah u guessed it lucASS

looking fine as heLL in literally just a white hoodie??

you know THIS look

that whole ass look

okay stop staring at his beautiful self and go i n s i d e

bby boy does a lil jump of surprise when u walk up he was so immersed in his phone

he was not looking up “how to get someone to like u” fucjakjks

he’s all smiley and is like

“ (✿◠‿◠) i didn’t know what drink u liked so i just got u a coffee, hope its okay(✿◠‿◠)“

ssjdhsjd ofc its okay baby!!

u just nod and say you’ll pay next time

he gets a lil blushy bc your both gone meet up again aw

so you both start working, he has ideas so do you, so you both compromise and wow u two make a great team

at some point the convo turns from school to sharing drunk stories of ur friends

a few coffees & lots of laughing later u suddenly realize its gotten rlly late bc of how dark it is outside!!

cue lucas using this as an opportunity to be all suave & gentlemanly 

“wow it’s gotten late, i’ll walk you home!!” 

so ur both on course to ur apartment 

he tries to be that boy and put his jumper on u because he saw u shiver for 00.001 second

but ur like lol no thanks im not cold

the tips of ears go red & poor bby is embarrassed  so he goes all pouty :((

then u feel bad bc homeboy was jus tryna be nice :((

so u end up wrappin yourself up in it and now hes all :))

now ur all :))) too

when u get to ur apt he kinda awkwardly shuffles outside so u invite him inside so he can “warm up” before he leaves

and whooo did u two “warm up”

he takes a seat on ur sofa & is kinda mindlessly babbling as u put on some music and bring him over a warm drink 

so ur both just sittin there bbq sauce on ya titties

and then its like some sort of sudden tension arises??

he stops babbling and just stares at u 

u stare back, slowly putting down ur drink

then ur leaning in oh so s l o w l y

he places his big ass hand on the side of ur face, eyes hovering from ur lips to ur eyes, asking for permission 

you give him a lil nod and he s w o o p s the fuck in

his plump lips are soft, a lil chapped and the first kiss is tender, he pulls away after a few seconds

he looks at you thru half lidded eyes and oop you pulled him back to ya lips hehe

from there it escalates 

he leans back onto the sofa and pulls you ontop of him, in a straddling position

one of his hands moves from your face down to your waist holding u tightly against while the other is rubbing circles on the exposed skin below your shirt

his tongue pushes past your lips, to meet yours and you thread your fingers through his hair, tugging lightly at the ends

this elicits a deep ass groan outta him and he pulls back suddenly, tilting his head up towards you

you’re slightly panting as you take note of his swollen lips and slight blush dusting his cheeks

he notices the same things about you and smirks before your face back towards him

to ur slight disappointment it’s not as heated as before, just a lil soft kiss and hes pulling away again

ur like 

“<(｀^´)> why’d u stopp <(｀^´)>“

he just chuckles w his deeper than the ocean voice pinches ur cheek lightly

“because as much as i’d like to keep goin, it’s a bit too fast paced don’t you think?”

you flush again as u didn’t even think about what he was feeling and nodded, burying your face into the crook of his neck

but the hypocrisy of this bOY

the next time u two meet up to “work on the project” u end up goin to his place and oop hes got u beneath him on his bed, both of ur shirts on the floor 

his mouth is set on marking your neck, collarbones while his hips are lightly grinding down on you, you feeling his bulge from beneath his tracksuit pants

you wrap you legs around him, pulling him even closer before flipping him over somehow

he’s a lil surprised as you take ur turn to pepper his neck and collarbones w love bites but he’s not complaining as u can tell from his quiet moans beneath you

you make your way lower on his body, stopping just before the waistband of his pants, looking up at him

“can i?”

u ask him first because consent is important kids

he nods so fast ur afraid his head is gona pop off 

you pull his pants & underwear down and wha-ping there he is

you grasp him at the base and lucas throws his head back, almost banging it off his headboard but does he care? nope.

so after ya know, suck the soul out of him

homeboy needs a phat minute to get his breath back

but ur pulling ur top back on, ready to go bc u felt like he woulda kicked u out but nOPE

the second he catches u ready to leave, he grabs u and pulls u back down onto the bed w him

ur like??? but in a good way

he ends up peppering ur face w lots of kisses and u gigglin bc aw

but then the kisses end up getting more heated as he makes his way down ur body, ur shirt leaving u once again, as well as ur pants and oops ur underwear too??

he ends up giving back what he received :)))

after that night, you both agree to keep it casual

basically friends w benefits

lucas loves the idea 

at first

like the thought of him bein’ able to text you whenever he was horny and not block him? great. gettin’ the occasional nude from you during his classes and ending up hard for an hour? not the best, but he’ll take it.

bUT the sight of you coming down off your high that he gave you while still panting his name softly??? 100000% HERE for it

wearing his shirt as you tumble around his bedroom, your neck covered in lovebites from him leaves him 97% soft and 3% sorta kinda horny

but he wants to be able to text you abt how your day was or what you’re doing for the day him or just listen to you rant!! not just when he pops a boner or you’re in the mood

he also wants to experience holding you in his arms, filled with love and not lust, kisses that are just innocent instead of heated 

to wake up to your sleeping face, no matter how funny looking, in the morning instead of an cold, empty space in his bed

but lucas knows you won’t return his feelings so he does his best to hide them (read: fails miserably at hiding his feelings for you)

then you begin to notice subtle changes in his behavior 

he goes from choking you out w a dark look in his eyes to caressing your cheeks w heart eyes in 000.02 seconds

he gives you his shirt to keep even after you leave his apartment and insists on driving you home

he texts you pictures of cute puppies he saw on his way to college instead of his usual boxer pics 

safe to say, u knew wtf was up

but u didn’t want to sound conceited abt knowing lucas liked you, so you didn’t say anything

and you both kept up the facade of hiding your feelings for the other behind by taking your frustration out on each other, sexually

and it stays that way for a while, but lucas was becoming more agitated each night you left and vice versa

until he broke the unspoken rule

neither of you had stayed overnight at the others for fear of having to deal with the truth of your emotions in the morning

but that night as you lay beside him, breathing heavily, the thin covers barely covering your naked bodies, he slipped his hand into yours and pulled you close

and you both lay there for a while, content in each other embraces, listening to each others heartbeats

then, you shifted to move away, to leave another night of unspoken feelings for another day

but he pulled you back and whispered, “stay”

you knew what that meant, you thought it over in your head

if you stayed, you would wake up and finally face the music, finally talk about how much you’ve fallen for him

how much you want to give him kisses all over his face to make him laugh

how you want to go on cute little cafe dates and study dates and dinner dates and basically every kind of date with him

how you want to introduce him to your family as not just your friend, but your boyfriend, your lover

a few moments passed

lucas’ forehead creased slightly in worry

he placed a tender kiss on your knuckles

mumbled a soft “please”

you took a deep breath 

and relaxed against him, letting your eyelids flutter shut as you let sleep overcome you

missing how lucas’ eyes literally shone as he looked down on you

“finally” he whispered against the crown of your head as he placed a kiss there, his grin almost splitting his face in half

he sent a bunch of keyboard smashes into the nct gc later bc he was so happy sjdksjd

and thats how you and wong yukhei fell in love

he also still gets butterflies every time he sees you and screams internally every time u kiss him fucjskjd <33

le fin♡ 

this is my first bullet scenario, hope it was okay (〃▽〃)