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#im tired of getting better and then one shitty night ruins it all because im left alone with my thoughts in a quiet place
tetrabytez · 1 year
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wioaase · 1 year
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guess who drank again?
its me. i thought altered states of consciousness were supposed to unlock more creativity but i got nothing lmao. anyways i wanted to write something? not proofread cuz i cant think rn <3
i wanna write something kinda hard but i feel like all im capable of is soft? yn tired of being mistreated and gives up on relationships all together and the boys try to make them feel better / take them out to prove that relationships (specifically with them) would be worth something?
chan
hates seeing you upset like this
completely understands
doesnt want you to give up completely
takes you out to dinner as just friends
you go back to your place for a movie afterwards
he tells you that you deserve better
that the nice dinner you had together is what you should expect from a partner
what he'd do for you
you think his confession / admittance to this is kinda silly until you see hes serious
"please yn. let me show you"
how could you say no to your best friend?
acts like a bf for the rest of the night
ends with yall either falling asleep together or "falling asleep" together
miniho
makes fun of you until he realizes youre actually upset
then feels kinda bad about it
agrees that relationships are kinda dogshit
because both of you have come to the same conclusion you spend more time together
during this time he realizes he may have been wrong
doesnt know how to bring up that hes changed his mind about relationships / is scared of ruining the bond youve made so far
stays quiet for a while until you make a comment about wishing dating could be as easy as it was hanging out with him
mindlessly states that you could just date him and itd be easier for both of you
doesnt register as a serious statement until you see him kinda flustered
you give it a rest for a day before asking him about it
doesnt want to pressure you into anything, tells you youll still be best friends regardless of his comment
shut him up by kissing him
surely you can try relationships one more time
changbin
absolute princess
would do the most after you get rejected / decide that other people arent worth your energy
easily buys you ice cream / is always able to clear his schedule whenever youre having a bad day and really need him
would never admit to crushing on you
lets you hang out at the studio when you dont want to be alone but have no where else to be
admires your company
doesnt realize his feelings until you continuously complain about none of your dates working out and all the people you see being shitty
jealous binnie
during one of your visits to the studio its just him and theres a bouquet of flowers in a vase you dont think too much of
he cant take you not saying anything / asking about it anymore
shyly begs you not to go on any more bad dates with people you meet through apps and to let him take you out just once
you take him up on his offer thinking hes just being a good friend
isnt until the end of the night you realize that he means more than friendship
butterflies butterflies butterflies for both of you
maybe ends in hand holding walking you home and maybe maybe maybe a kiss on the cheek as he drops you off
thinks about this night while laying in bed and kicking his feet / blushing
hyunjin
doesnt understand how you could give up on love?
love is everywhere
how dont you see it?
makes an effort to point out the nonromantic examples of love whenever youre together
you more or less roll your eyes because he knows what you really meant
he knows too but doesnt know how to show you without directly asking you to give him a chance
during one of your hangouts you make another joke about being alone forever
he hates seeing you hurting and cant do it anymore
cups your face in his hands
"please"
he almost looks like crying
you dont understand why but you make an effort to try and be more positive about relationships in your life
seeing you smile at an older couple as they go about their daily routine has him thinking about what life would look like if you two were together
thinks its a phase and tries to get over it but starts to paint you (oops)
eventually you find some paintings and ask him about it and he has to confess
youre scared of change but he promises you wont lose him even if things dont work out
puts a ton of effort into your first official date and is such a gentlemen it gives you butterflies
maybe you were wrong about relationships being hopeless
han
i love this man sm
would wholeheartedly agree when you rant to him about your most recent shitty date and tell you that all men are trash
your declaration that youve officially given up on relationships gives him the idea that he can freely flirt with you now
it started as a joke but the more he said it the more he genuinely believed it
didnt realize that he had caught feelings until you brought up maybe trying dating again
makes him sick to his stomach
after you go out on another date you want to meet up and talk about it but he makes up an excuse not to see you so you have to share the evening over text
hes terrified that youre going to replace him and hates himself for feeling that way but at the same time wants to be the only person that you need to depend on
you think his excuse is weird but text him regardless rather than telling him everything in person
hes secretly relieved when you say that you dont intend to see them agian
even more relieved that you told him over text cuz hes grinning like an idiot rn
decides to do something before you want to go on another date with someone thatll just leave you broken
does something omega cheesy like invite you over for your usual movie night
rose petals and candles and a card inside a bouquet
card defo has some shitty pickup line in it but it makes you laugh
baby boy is nervous but you just hug him and say sure
he thinks hes dreaming at this point and looks at you with heart eyes for the rest of the night
felix
would encourage you not to give up
offer to look through peoples dating profiles with you in an attempt to vet the shitty ones
the more he was helping you build your profile and look at potential candidates the more he wanted to say no to every potential match you had
makes a joke about dating you instead of going through the hassle of trying to find someone to date
what begins as a joke ends up weighing heavily on his mind and keeps him up at night
what if you two went out?
what would you say if he asked? would he be rejected? laughed at? ruin the friendship completely?
after this would be relatively quiet when you asked for help with dating
just tells you to trust your gut
youd have to physically go over to his place and confront him about it before hed tell you anything about it
would still be hella nervous
you find it cute though and tell him yes
he starts planning the next cafe date asap
seungmin
tells you youre unlovable
youre used to his tough love and accept it
delete any dating apps you had and officially give up on trying to meet other people
youre content for a while until it finally gets under your skin that everyone around you keeps nagging about finding you a relationship
you ask him to pretend to be your boyfriend to try and get everyone to stop asking questions about your personal life
he spends the entire night flirting with you and genuinely acting like boyfriend material
it fills the void in your heart momentarily
he considered it just helping out a friend but since that night hes seen you differently
have you always been that pretty?
eases off the harsh teasing and tries to compliment you more often
you notice eventually and make a comment
he brushes it off as nothing
youd have to instigate anything if you want things to go any further but some of that playful flirting has carried over since you asked him to pretend
jeongin
doesnt really understand why you care so much about being in a relationship in the first place?
like it genuinely doesnt make sense to him
if you have friends that treat you well why would you need anything more?
starts to worry that maybe he isnt doing enough as a friend
ups the game while unknowingly fulfilling boyfriend criteria
spends all his free time with you. texts you on breaks. finds himself thinking about you whenever hes not allowed to contact you for extended periods of time
performs better when hes able to hear your voice / see your face the day before a big event
would need someone else to point out that his feelings are growing past platonic
probably freaks out a little bit and ignores you for a day or two
plays it off as being sick even though you knew he was busy with other schedules
eventually confront him on it
isnt able to tell you exactly what hes feeling but does tell you that he doesnt like being apart from you
you think hes over exaggerating until you go out on another date with someone you dont know and one of the other boys texts you saying that jeongin is sad and youre the only one who can make him better
you try and joke with him to lift his mood but nothing helps
you fall asleep on video call with one another and when he thinks youre asleep he confesses
"sleeping angel.. i love you.."
you have to pretend to still be asleep despite hearing him or else hed never acknowledge it
when youre ready you can approach him and ask about it
until then though you can expect him to keep protecting you from a distance
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muzanswaifu · 3 years
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Okey so idea(Kind of)Sanemi x reader but the reader is very innocent and naive and sanemi cant help bit want to fuck the so hard they completely ruin the innocence
Okay im gonna just do headcannons/bullets for this real quick but lemme know if you want a full fic!
Sanemi x Innocent!Reader
Warnings: dubcon, oral sex, squirting, loss of virginity (thats up to you though), a hint of sexual slavery, yandere?
Some background info: you are a nurse at Butterfly estate
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He doesn't like that you ignore him, act like he isn't important, act like there isn't an absolute God in front of you
Your eyes don't wander, don't pry, you don't feel up his muscles for a second longer than you have to, you just do your job, fuck it's annoying, you're annoying
"Does this hurt?"
"This may sting a little bit..."
At first sanemi thought u were making fun of him with all your little apologies and checkups to make sure he wasn't in any pain
But with after seeing you converse with other patients, he quickly learned you were just like that - caring, nonjudging, unassuming
Innocent
He watches as the other male patients hit on you, flirt with you while you're just trying to do your job. You feed into their futile attempts, giggling at their little jokes because you don't understand that they're trying to get in your pants like the fucking idiot you are
But he prefer you not know anyway because he deals with them for you, and it makes him hum satisfied when you seem to be more attentive to him when those men aren't bothering you anymore
But he grows tired of seeing you so naive, so pure in your ways, especially with him. You blush so furiously when you feel his hand creep up your thigh when your checking on his injuries, slyly shuffling away to make him stop. He allows it, this time, because the shy look in your eyes makes his cock twitch, but you shouldn't be disobeying him like that. Don't you know who he is? Any other woman would be presenting themselves to him already, but you don't. And it's all because you're too damn virtuous. You unbearable fucking prude bitch.
He doesn't want you acting so innocent and holy around him, you're better than that, he deserves more than that
Sanemi wants to watch the sparkle in your eye dwindle to a glint of dumb lust as he ruins you for everyone else.
It's so clear that you haven't been fucked good, if at all. He can tell by the way you walk around so uptight and sinless. If you'd just let him break you, maybe you'd loosen up a bit.
You'd be the perfect bitch for him too, new and perfect for him to mold to his liking. He'd have you screaming in ecstacy while he wrecks you over and over and over again, sobbing his name just like you should. He hopes you have some form of physical training because he won't hold back in his strength, not until you're broken and fucked and stupid
He's bidding his time, waiting for the right moment to catch you alone and helpless. Probably after you've run your last errand and are cleaning up for the night. He's the only one in this building because of his status (one you don't seem to even give a shit about) so you can scream all you'd like and no one can bother you two.
You're shy to his advances, thinking maybe he's just a flirty individual, many men are to you, but he's coming on strong and it's scaring you. He catches on, and changes his tactic accordingly, drawing you in more playfully and seductive. You eat that shit up and he could almost laugh at how naive you are.
Really? Cheap compliments are what get that stick outta your ass? Figures you have shitty taste
A few teases here, praises there, you hardly noticed the hand sliding down your hip. In fact, you lean into it, and that's when he knows he's got you.
This is when you get sheepish again, cowering away and admitting that your not very experienced. He acts shocked to save your feelings but what the hell did you expect when you don't put out? It doesn't matter though because now you're only for him
But he'd be nice with you at first, he's not a monster after all. You're prepped nice and thoroughly, licked and kissed all over your little pussy so you'd be ready to take his cock to the hilt. He wouldn't stop till you had come all over his tongue at least three times
Once to figure out what you liked, the second to enjoy himself, and the third to get your hole dripping for him
He'd let you work on him after too, let you mouth at his cock like a little kitten, not caring if you even knew how to suck him off properly. Just seeing the purity in your eyes when you put your pretty lips on his dick for the first time would be enough to satisfy him. He could split your cute little throat open another time
But after that, playtime's over, you've had your fun. You had to be torn apart sometime, you should be grateful it's him and not some worthless bastard who couldn't even last two seconds
God, your so hot when you cry like that, tears pooling down your cheeks and stuttering pleas spilling past your swollen lips begging him to slow down and be more gentle. Yah, fuck that.
Eventually you learn to shut up and take it, it's not like he's listening to your whining anyway. Your desperate mewls and sobbing are such a turn on for him, like predator devouring it's prey. Even when your being fucked into oblivion, you still whimper like a little brat
It hurts huh? Then why did you squirt all over his dick just now? Give him a fuckin break
You're not a filthy whore yet, he admires that, even tells you he does, he likes that little bit of defiance. But you'll cave eventually, even if it's not tonight. No, tonight you don't even last all that long, passing out only a few hours in. Sanemi's aggravated at most, but your weakness was to be expected, he would just have to wait until you wake up to ravage you again.
And it'll be fun to train you like this! For him at least. Turn you into his perfect little cocksleeve, one that spreads her legs obediently whenever she sees him and can sit pretty on his cock for hours on end while he recuperates. And even then, you're leaving with him of course. Why would he let you stay where you can't warm his cock at all times?
when you're such a stupid slut for him, your almost bearable.
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onecanonlife · 3 years
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In which Tommy has a nightmare, and enderwalk!Ranboo is of the opinion that grass blocks make everything better.
(word count: 1,413)
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Tommy jolts out of a nightmare that he doesn’t want to remember, and a few seconds later, finds himself hyperventilating outside on the grass.
It’s not on, is what it is. He hardly asked for this, for these awful dreams and this inability to sleep for more than a few hours at a time at best, for this creeping certainty that Dream is breaking out, is going to come for him, and that it’s only a matter of time before something awful happens. He didn’t ask for any of this, but he has it, and he’s not moving out of his house, because that would feel like a concession, but on nights like these he wakes up and the dirt walls press in around him and he can’t breathe, and it is completely and utterly the worst.
So. Outside. Grass. Hyperventilating.
Calming himself down is old hat, by now. He figured out how to do it a long time ago, around the time when he realized that there wasn’t going to be anyone holding his hand anymore, that he was well and truly on his own, without a friend in the world. Other than—but no, he doesn’t go there. He knows better, now, even though his brain still tries to play tricks on him sometimes, tries to convince him that Dream is the only one who actually has his best interests at heart.
The point is, he knows how to do this. He’s used to it. And frankly, he’s glad that he is, glad that he can do this on his own, because he doesn’t want anyone else around him when he’s like this. Doesn’t want anyone else to see, doesn’t want anyone else to know that this happens, doesn’t want anyone else to be able to point at him and go, look, the great TommyInnit brought low.
So when he regulates his breaths and swipes the tears from his face and unclenches his fingers knuckle by knuckle, he looks up and most definitely does not expect anyone to be crouched in front of him. When he sees that there is, he scrabbles backward and lets out an incredibly manly scream, and he doesn’t think he can be blamed for it, because what the fuck?
“Holy shit,” he wheezes, “holy shit, you can’t just—” And has to stop, because it’s not just any weird crouching person. It’s his fucking—what’s the word for when a very irritating and terrible person marries your best friend? What’s the title for that? Annoyance-in-law?
In any case, it’s Ranboo.
“What,” he says, “the shit are you doing?”
Ranboo makes a sound that is not words at all. In fact, it sounds very similar to an enderman vwoop, which, alright, the guy’s half enderman, that checks out. Except, his eyes are also purple, and he looks rather taller than he normally does, even crouching down, so something is weird here. Something is very, very weird.
“Fuck off,” he says. “Go and, go and raise your shitty child or something. Sing ‘im a lullaby. Go on.”
He makes shooing noises with his hands, like one might do to a dog, or a persistent crow. Ranboo tilts his head very slowly, like a complete fucking weirdo, and then rises in one fluid motion, and goes walking off somewhere. Tommy stares after him, because he hadn’t really expected that to work. But alright, he’ll take it.
“That’s right,” he mutters. “Just fucking, fucking leave, go on.” He stares down at the grass, running a shaking hand through his hair. He is, maybe, not quite as recovered as he’d like. He’s usually not, after the initial panic, usually can’t make himself relax until the sun has crested the horizon and the sky has begun to lighten. He’s ruined for sleep tonight, that’s for sure.
But it’s alright. It’s alright, he’s used to it. He can do it. He can do this. He’s a big fucking man, and he can survive on a few hours of sleep a night, and he can avoid looking at himself in the mirror and remembering another face, eyebags just as dark, hair just as wild, eyes only slightly more desperate. He doesn’t have to remember things. Not if he doesn’t want to. He’s great at not remembering things, him.
Footsteps. He jerks, looks up again, and Ranboo is standing over him, and why is he so fucking tall?
Ranboo makes another vwooping sound. And then a little trill, almost like a bird, if a bird gargled gravel and then turned into an eldritch monstrosity. He crouches again, and then holds out his hands, and there is something in them, something that he is offering him, and—
Tommy squints. It’s a grass block.
“What am I supposed to do with that?” he asks.
Ranboo vwoops.
“Could you just stop being so fucking weird?” he demands. “For five minutes? I don’t think that’s too much to ask, really. God, you’re just. The worst.”
Ranboo shifts a bit closer, still holding out the grass block. Like he wants him to take it.
“I’m not taking your stupid block,” Tommy says, and accepts it.
Ranboo vwoops.
“Why would you even—” he says, burrowing his fingers into the dirt. A bit of it crumbles to the ground. He doesn’t understand how endermen manage to do this, keep these blocks in perfect shape, grass and all. “Why would you even give me this? What are you trying to pull on me, eh? It won’t work. You can’t pull the wool over my eyes, pal. You’re up to something. Why are your eyes all purple?”
Ranboo vwoops.
And then—Tommy remembers something. Something he wasn’t particularly trying to remember, and usually, that’s not such a great thing, but it’s not so bad this time. Because this memory is from just a couple of weeks ago, in Snowchester, one of those times that he was trying to hang out with Tubbo, but Ranboo was just there and wouldn’t leave, and Tubbo wouldn’t make him leave, so Tommy spent the entire time being vaguely pissed off. And he was trying not to pay attention to Ranboo, really, he was, except he remembers him saying something about how he gets anxious, and how holding blocks of things and putting them down places helps him. At the time, he made a point of not acknowledging him, because Tommy’s not an idiot. He knew what he was trying to do, and he didn’t appreciate it.
But—
He stares at the block in his hands. And then back at Ranboo.
He wants to be angry, at the idea, at the presumption, because who the fuck does Ranboo think he is, trying to patronize him like this? But Ranboo keeps up his soft warbles, and he finds his eyes filling with tears instead.
“Are you,” he says, and his voice is not choked, it’s not, “are you trying to help me?”
Ranboo vwoops. Chirps. And then reaches out, slowly enough that Tommy doesn’t feel the urge to flinch, and runs gentle clawed fingers through his hair.
“Oh,” Tommy says. And doesn’t lean into the touch. He doesn’t. But if, hypothetically, he does, that’s between him and Prime on high. Or at least, it would be, if all his muscles didn’t go lax a few seconds later, and if he didn’t accidentally on purpose tip forward against Ranboo’s chest.
The dirt slips through his fingers. But that’s alright, because one of Ranboo’s arms wraps around him, and the other keeps carding through his hair, like Wilbur used to do when they were younger and things were better and they were two halves of a whole rather than puzzle pieces that got bent out of shape. The way his head is, he can feel vibrations running though Ranboo’s chest, like the purr of a cat, and it’s going to lull him to sleep if he’s not careful.
He can’t let that happen. He has more dignity than that.
Except he’s very tired. And Ranboo is clearly—sleepwalking, or something. Not all there in the head at the moment. So maybe he won’t remember this in the morning, if Tommy makes sure to wake up first. And that would be alright.
“You’re still terrible,” he mumbles, but the words are slurred, and Ranboo’s arms are very warm and comforting, and he’s drifting. He can feel it.
So he lets himself. Ranboo’s warbles follow him into sleep, and he dreams of stars.
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shorkbrian · 3 years
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Omg hi so I read your babysitter fic and I was thinking what if bakuogus tired of reader being a brat with him so he brings Kiri over to help him out 🤤 srry im just being horny on anon rn
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“C’mon princess, move your ass before I move it for you.”
You huffed at the blonde, opening the car door, stepping outside and slamming it shut. Bakugou shot you a harsh glare, but you weren’t looking at him, instead crouching to tie your shoe.
He gave you a moment to do that, before the man got impatient, clicking his tongue, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Let’s go, it’s not like I have all fucking day.”
You knew for a fact that yes, he did have all day.
Your mom was away again, another business trip. She was working towards a promotion - a position that meant more hours, more work, more travel.
More time being spent with your stupid babysitter.
With your rapist.
He hadn’t touched you, not outright, since that day. Every time your mom suggested having him over for dinner, you conveniently found somewhere to be; out with friends, on a date, having a sleepover. Anything so that you didn’t have to look at Bakugou Katsuki’s stupid, smug little face.
But your mom had surprised you yesterday night, letting you know she’d be leaving in the morning, that Katsuki would be staying over again. There wasn’t any time for you to argue with her, to plead for her to stay, or to take you with her, or for you to stay at a friend’s house, anything but Katsuki.
“If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were trying to avoid him!” She had laughed, before wagging a finger at you. “Don’t be rude. He’s a nice man, and I trust him to keep you safe. He did last time!”
Yeah, and he also assaulted you last time, so maybe he wasn’t as nice of a guy as she thought.
He was taking you to the mall, not even really giving you a choice, just telling you to get dressed, that the two of you were going out.
Now here you were, trudging silently behind the older man, glaring at the ground.
“Bakubro! Over here!”
A loud shout drew your attention, Bakugou grinning as he started veering towards the shouter, a red-haired man waving enthusiastically. You followed behind him obediently, taking stock of this new man.
He was fucking huge, thick thighs bulging against his jeans, biceps straining against the fabric of his navy hoodie. This new guy was handsome too, a wide, sharp smile, soft red eyes, a clean-shaven face.
“’Sup Idiot? You tryin’ to attract the whole mall? Always so damn loud.” Even though he was complaining, it was clear that these two were friends as Bakugou let the other man pull him into a hug. They pounded each other on the back, before the redhead drew back, pushing past the blonde to give you his full attention. 
“Who’s this? Did you get a girlfriend? She looks a little young bro.”
“I’m not his girlfriend.” You spat, and the redhead held up his hands in surrender as Bakugou shouldered him to the side.
“It’s the little fucker that I’m looking after as a favor. You know I work security for that office complex?” The redhead nodded. “Yeah, one of the milfs gave me free range of her house as long as I watch her.”
Both men looked at you, and the redhead smiled brightly.
“Ah, well, I’m Kirishima! Nice to meet you, sorry you have to put up with such a grumpy fucke-”
“Hey, shaddup.” Bakugou elbowed him, but Kirishima was already extending a hand for you to shake, and you did so gladly. At least you weren’t the only one who thought Bakugou was a grumpy, stuck up mess.
“’Kay, now can we go? I’m starving’, wanna eat before we do anything else.”
Kirishima winked at you as he threw an arm around your shoulders, his other arm around Bakugou. “Food court? I think they have a pretty good selection here...”
-----
Kirishima was much more tolerable than Bakugou.
He was funny, cracking jokes and making you almost spit out the soda he had bought you, slipping you five dollars behind Bakugou’s back for you to get a drink.
The redhead sat next to you while the three of you ate, including you in the conversation whenever Bakugou seemed to forget about your existence.
As the three of you walked from store-to-store, Kirishima listened to you ramble on about the latest game you’d bought, what you thought of your favorite snack brand trying to collaborate with a fashion company, all your opinions on the music playing faintly through the mall speakers.
It was fun when he grabbed your hand, tugging you away from Bakugou and along with the redhead as he ducked into a random store. It was some street-wear fashion place, and Kirishima wanted your thoughts on if a shirt was his color, or if he could pull off one of the hats that adorned the mannequin in the store window.
The two of you were busy laughing at how the hat couldn’t even press past his spiky hairstyle when you noticed Bakugou, glowering at you both from the outside of the store, lips pulled into the deepest frown.
Kirishima started laughing at the man’s expression, and you quickly followed suit, before Bakugou stalked inside, cuffing his friend on the ear.
What a spoil sport.
You couldn’t deny that by the end of the few hours you’d spent with Kirishima, you found yourself attracted to him. Not only in looks, but also in his goofy personality. You wouldn’t mind being friends with him.
It was easy to exchange numbers with the man, easy to let him lift your spirits.
And then it was time to leave, all three of you grouped at the entrance, saying bye, Bakugou and Kirishima giving each other another bro-hug.
You gave Kirishima a hug, leaning into his warm touch, enjoying his spicy cologne as you pressed your face against his broad chest. He eagerly returned the hug, until Bakugou was scoffing, pulling you out of his embrace.
“We’re in fucking public, you two, chill. Keep your pants on, sluts.”
Kirishima laughed, giving you a cheery wave as Bakugou gripped your hand until it hurt, dragging you out of the mall quickly.
-----
“Why are you being such a brat? You were fuckin’ fine earlier.” The blonde man grumbled, glancing over at you from where he was making dinner.
You rolled your eyes, taking a sip of your water. “It’s not my fault you have a stick up your ass. All I said is I don’t like when you make food, tastes bad.”
Bakugou huffed, turning off the stove. “Are you fucking serious? You’re just trying to mess with me, aren’t’cha princess?”
“Could you stop calling me that? I’m not your princess.”
“You’re whatever I want you to be, princess.” Bakugou sneered, stomping towards you.
You quickly backpedalled, setting your glass of water down on the counter, stepping back. “I’m going to go set the table!” Was your way out, and Bakugou backed off as you threw open a cupboard, rummaging for plates and cups as he chuckled to himself.
“Yeah, you do that.” 
It wasn’t long before the table was set, Bakugou bringing the food to set it down onto the hotplate in the middle.
Even just a whiff of the food had your eyes watering, the spice through the roof.
“Seriously dude? You know you’re cooking for two people, why the fuck did you make it inedible?!?” 
The blonde man glared at you as he sat down, jaw working, mouth twisting. “You gonna be a bitch-baby about it? Should be fuckin’ grateful that I even made you dinner.”
“Thanks for dinner.” You mumbled, staring tiredly at the food Bakugou was heaping onto his plate. You didn’t feel like eating anymore, his outburst ruining your mood, reminding you of the time when he got angry because you wouldn’t go to bed, wouldn’t listen to him-
“Eat the damn food.” Katsuki snapped, pulling you out of your thoughts and back to the present.
You did as he asked, even though it burned your mouth. Dinner was quickly gulped down, followed by desperate swigs of water as you tried to chase away the spice. Bakugou huffing the entire time at your inability to handle the level of spice he preferred.
Afterwards, you gathered up the plates and washed them, conscious of Katsuki hovering in the background of the kitchen, watching you work while he tapped away on his phone.
When the last dish was washed, dried, and put away, you began rummaging in the cupboards, looking for something sweet, something to soothe your tastebuds.
“What’re you doin’, didn’t I just feed you?”
Bakugou’s harsh voice made you flinch, but you kept your back to him. “Was hoping there’d be dessert.”
A long, irritated sigh, then a hand gripped your shoulder, pulling you away from the kitchen cupboards. “Ain’t got any of that shit in the house princess, you don’t need it.”
“But-” Your plead was interrupted by Bakugou rolling his eyes, snorting.
“Why are you being such a whiny baby? Is this cause Kiri was spoilin’ you earlier?”
Jutting your chin out, you glared up into red eyes as you turned around seething. “Maybe I like being treated like a person and not a problem. I don’t even understand why he’s friends with you - you’re mean and crass and stup-”
“So you’re just acting out cause you want some extra attention or some shit? What a brat.” The blonde sneered, leaning back against the counter as he tapped away at his phone again.
“You want Kiri so bad, fine. I’ll have him get you some shitty grocery-store dessert. Then maybe you’ll stop acting like a bitch. Stuff some candy in that mouth, will that keep you quiet, huh?”
It was infuriating, being treated like a child. Ignored, talked down to, unable to assert yourself or make decisions. 
“Whatever.” You huffed, shaking your head as you walked out of the kitchen. “Anything’s better than having to sit here with you.”
-----
The front door opening and the faint rustle of grocery bags caught your ear as you fumed on the couch, angrily questioning “why me?” as to your situation. But the noise meant your new friend was here, and he was much nicer than Bakugou.
Nice enough to have you smiling a bit as you rose to your feet, padding into the dining room as you beelined to the soft murmur of two manly voices.
“Heyyy! Long time no see!” The redhead was dressed in a loose tank top and basketball shorts, shoes discarded somewhere in the hall. 
You’d known he was muscular, but actually seeing his muscles without clothes in the way? You were stunned.
A bright blush encompassed your face when Bakugou snapped his fingers, narrowing his eyes at you. “Ay’, stupid! Focus! He got you a bunch of sweet shit. Rot your teeth out.” While gesturing to the two grocery bags resting on the dinner table.
“Hi Kirishima, thanks for the desserts-”
“Aw, it’s nothing. Bakubro wouldn’t tell me what kinda flavors you like so I kinda got a variety...”
Cupcakes and candy and various other sweet treats were nestled in the bags, and you grinned. “Dude, it’s all good. Wanna sit down and have some too?”
Bakugou snorted while Kiri smiled at you, nodding his head.  The dining chair creaked as his weight settled in it, the redhead pushing the grocery bags towards where you sat, encouraging you to pick anything you wanted.
The two men began to talk about this and that, mundane things about work, odd jobs, what their plans for the weekend were, boring stuff you easily tuned out as you indulged in sweet desserts.
Their attention turned to you when a whine slipped from your lips as frosting fell rom the cupcake you were eating and onto your shirt. Before you reached for a napkin, Kiri was leaning over, invading your space.
“You’re kinda messy, aren't you?” He breathed, a single finger swiping through the frosting on your shirt before the redhead sucked it into his mouth, looking at you through his eyelashes.
“Oh-u-uhm...” Was your elegant reply, tummy filled with butterflies at the fact that his finger had pressed against your skin through your shirt, right underneath your breast. 
He was so hot.
“Yeah, and a fuckin’ brat too. Little bitch can’t stop complaining about every little thing. Shut up the second I mentioned you were coming over.” Bakugou cackled, breaking the mood completely.
But Kirishima’s eyes were still on you as his now-clean finger slipped from his mouth. It was mesmerizing, watching the muscles in his arms shift and move as he leaned closer, slipping his hands underneath your shirt and raising the fabric so he could lick at the frosting still stuck on it.
Your breath stuttered, heat flaring suddenly in your tummy at the action.
And then Bakugou had to ruin it again. 
“You can fuck her if you want, I don’t mind. I told the old bird I would watch her kid for her. Didn’t say nothin’ about not getting her drunk on some cock.”
Eyes squeezing shut, you opened your mouth for some snappy reply, but Kirishima beat you to speaking.
“Yeah? Alright. You good with that baby?”
Wait, good with-?
Kirishima was looking up at you expectantly, fingers still clutched in your shirt, refusing to touch your skin. He was hot. This was hot. It’d be perfect if Bakugou wasn’t here.
“C’mon, just fuck her man, she’s been gaggin’ for your dick since she met you. Stop being a loser and man up.”
The redhead in front of you smiled, sharp teeth on display and gleaming. 
Then your shirt was being pulled over your head, hands gripping at your chest, thumbing over your nipples through your bra.
“W-wai-Kiri! Uhm, can’t we- uhm-”
Your voice was ignored, the redhead’s eyes glued to your chest as he pulled down your bra a bit, until he could palm each breast without anything in-between his warm hands and your soft skin.
“You’re so pretty...”
“She’s a whore.” Bakugou snarked.
Hands migrated to your waist, and you were easily lifted onto the table, Kirishima rising from his seat so he could push at your shoulders until they met the solid wood. Bakugou stayed seated, casually notching his hands behind his head and leaning back as he watched the show unfold before him.
Things were happening so fast, you didn’t know what to say, couldn’t move your hands to push away the broad redhead. This was so confusing. Yes, you wanted him, but you didn’t want Bakugou watching. You didn’t want to do this on the dining room table, didn’t like the quick turn the night had taken.
Your pants were being pulled down before you could organize your thoughts, before you could do much else aside from whimper and press your legs together.
“Hah, cute panties. You always wear stuff like this?” Kirishima asked, sliding a thumb underneath the elastic waistband only so he could snap it against your skin. You gasped at the little sting, unsure what to say, what to do.
“Most of her stuff is stupid girly shit like that, so yes.” 
You tried to throw a glare Bakugou’s way, but with the blonde somewhere behind you sitting at the table, you couldn’t turn your head far enough.
Especially not when you were distracted by Kirishima pushing down the waistband of his shorts. 
“I’m so glad I didn’t wear jeans.” He chuckled, holding his cock at the base as he sat back down again, scooting his chair up to edge of the table where your legs were splayed wide.
“Okay pretty, try and stay still for me. Make as much noise as you wanna, Bakugou and I don’t mind.” And then a warm mouth was pressed up against your cunt, licking at you over your panties, dragging the rough cotton against your most sensitive parts.
“Oh! o-oh, oh-oh-” Was all you could make your mouth manage as the redhead gripped your thighs in his giant hands, pushing them apart and allowing his massive shoulders to fit between them as he bent to lick at your pussy.
It felt... It felt so good, building up pressure in your stomach as your hole clenched around nothing.
Then Kiri did something awful, pulling your panties to the side and nosing into your folds with a pleased grunt. His skin was so warm, and you were so wet, and his nose started bumping against your clit as the man sloppily mouthed at you, and you couldn’t-couldn’t
“Stop-stop! ‘m gonna cum!” You wailed, legs twitching.
Immediately Kirishima drew back, soothing circles getting rubbed into your calves by thick fingers. “You don’t wanna cum in my mouth? Wanna cum on my cock instead? That’s cute.”
He stood up, and you barely got a glimpse of his dick bobbing against his stomach before he was leaning forward and catching your lips in a kiss. It almost scared you, sharp teeth poking menacingly against your lips, dragging across your skin as Kirishima moved his mouth against yours, but the redhead knew how to work with his teeth.
“Man, she really is a slut for you.” Bakugou piped up from behind you. He was a bit breathless, voice scratcher, but you couldn’t focus on that, not when Kirishima was pulling away with a groan, one of his hands fisting his cock.
The redhead gathered the spit in his mouth, leaned down, and let it drip onto your cunt, panties still pushed to the side. It was burning hot, adding to the fire in your tummy, blazing higher and higher.
Heavy breathing and labored panting filled the room as Kirishima edged closer to you, laying his cock flat against your entrance, playing with your panties as he did so until they pressed against his cock as it nestled between the lips of your cunt.
And then he started grinding.
Slow, delicious, absolutely heavenly.
You almost didn’t care about the disgusting little groans coming from Bakugou, the slick sounds of him fucking his fist, the creak of his chair behind you.
Almost.
Your attention was more focused on the pleasurable little zings going up your spine as Kiri rubbed his cock through your folds, all slick and wet. You kept your legs spread wide for him, barely able to breathe at the heat that seemed to fill the space, fill your lungs and steal your voice.
Kiri leaned down to kiss you again, and your hands fisted into his tank top, the material sweaty as it clung to his chest. If you could focus, you’d be trying to pull it off him, see the beautiful skin underneath, the man’s gorgeous body.
But what he was doing with his hips felt so good, you couldn’t even think.
“Kiri-Kiri, gonna-ohmygod-gonna-!”
And you came, shuddering as his cock kept fucking back and forth through your folds, twitching against your clit, veins in his dick pulsing and dragging against your skin.
He wasn’t stopping.
“Unhh, I came, please, wait Kirishima-”
“Didn’t you say you wanted to cum on my cock baby? I’m barely getting warmed up.” A feral smile gleamed bright from his lips. “I don’t play like Bakugou, I like messy girls. Gonna get you so fucked out you can’t even speak, can’t even walk. Won’t give him any trouble then, right? You’ll be good? For us?”
The look in his eye told you that you weren’t going to get a choice.
“Fuck Kiri, turn her over when you fuck her cunt so I can use her mouth.” Bakugou’s voice cut in, and your mood soured even more.
But Kirishima was already agreeing, cock still thrusting against your cunt. 
You didn’t get to make decisions anymore.
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sunphroggy · 3 years
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alright I have an au idea that im about to badly explain but it's a little strange so stick with me.
I call it: 'The Parent Trap but Opposite' au
So picture this: Tommy is Phil's only child, right. His mother died in childbirth so for his entire eight years of life its just been him and Phil. And that's fine, that's great, he loves it. Tommy doesn't want another addition to the family, it would only screw everything up.
That being said, Phil is lonely. Don't get him wrong, he loves his son and loves spending time with him, but he misses the feeling of being in love. He misses his wife.
Enter, Kristen.
They meet on a blind date, set up by a friend from Phil's work, and hit it off instantly. Months pass and Phil wants to propose.
One problem though. He hasnt told Tommy about it. He hasn't even introduced Kristen to him.
So what better way to merge both families that a holiday?
(I should probably say here that Kristen also has children. Take a wild guess who they are.)
Tommy is all for a holiday. Two weeks at a fancy ass hotel with room service, an arcade and a pool? Sign him up!
That is until, he finds out that Kristen and her boys will be joining them.
Enter, Wilbur and Techno.
(They're about fourteen. Their parents are divorced and, unlike Tommy, they knew Kristen was seeing Phil. They alse know that Phil is gonna propose - well, it's just a hunch)
Phil, god bless him, tries his hardest to get Tommy to warm up to Kristen, Wilbur and Techno. He plans all these activities and takes them all shopping, to the beach, to waterparks ect. But Tommy just won't take to them; he doesn't mind Kristen but Wilbur and Techno are weird, they keep making these cryptic comments about how they're going to be seeing eachother a lot in the future and Tommy just does not understand.
That is, until they decide to let Tommy in on the obvious.
Tommy, as expected, is in denial. Because there's no way his dad would do something like that without telling him first. Besides, Phil doesn't need to get married, they're perfectly happy just the two of them.
There's just no way.
Right?
Wrong.
Because Tommy is a curious little shit and he ransacks his and Phil's hotel room in search for the ring. He doesn't find it, of course, because Phil is used to Tommy's little raccoon tactics and hid it properly. But when he comes back from dinner with Kristen to a destroyed room and a confused Tommy, he decides to tell him the truth.
Needless to say Tommy has a fit. One moment, he's happy; just him and dad, living life. And then this lady and her shitty sons come along and fucks that up
(I imagine the conversation being something like:
Phil: Yeah im gonna propose Kristen
Tommy, inhaling deeply: *screams*
And then it would proceed to reinact that once scene from Steven universe with ruby and sapphire like-
phil: he'll eventually tire himself out :'D
Tommy, making even more of a mess than he already has: that's what you think! I am an eternal flame baby!! >:(
Yeah.)
Tommy, ever the drama queen, storms to Wilbur and Techno - who are like "we told you so :/" - and the three of them (because Techno and Wilbur also do not want this little racoon gremlin hybrid in their home either) team up and plan to ruin the proposal. The only problem, they don't know when Phil is gonna actually propose.
And this...this is where the hijinks and shenanigans ensue.
They just like, constantly ruin Phil and Kristen's date nights with their dumb shit.
(I'm thinking shit like the three of them stacked on each others shoulders in a trench coat pretending to be a waiter at the hotel restaurant Phil and Kristen are eating at and constantly spilling drinks and food of them whenever it looks like Phil is about to pop the question; following them on walks under the stars, hiding in bushes with binoculars and making birds attack them; tackling Phil into the pool ect. ect. ect.)
But, plot twist, while pulling off these epic plans, the three of them...bond! Dun dun dunnnnn!!! Wilbur and Techno actually grow to like Tommy and think "Hey, maybe this kid ain't so bad" so they back out on the plans and try to convince Tommy to do the same. He won't.
(Meanwhile, Phil is just wondering why all his proposal attempts have gone so fucking wrong like???)
Anyways, fast forward. Its the last day of their holiday the two families go out for dinner. Its nice, they're having a good time, Kristen is chatting away to Tommy about Minecraft and Tommy is happy to tell her all about his favourite game. And then, Phil clears his throat.
He starts talking about Kristen and how happy he makes her, and Tommy can tell what's coming the moment Phil reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out a small black box. And, in a final attempt to keep the life he has, Tommy snatches the box out of Phil's hand and fucking runs.
He runs right out of the restaurant, ignoring everyone calling after him, and doesn't stop running until he's on the beach, where he hides. And he cries. He cries because his dad is gonna replace him with Techno and Wilbur, and he misses his mum even though he never met her, and because this he knows that stealing a ring and running away isn't gonna stop this proposal from happening, and because the only family dynamic he knows is going to change and he isn't ready for that. And it's just a big angst moment.
And then some fluff.
Kristen finds him hidden by the rocks, and Tommy quickly pretends he wasn't just crying bc he's a big man and shit like that. He half expects her to immediately call for Phil and then for Phil to disown him, but instead she sits with him.
She asks if he's OK and when he doesnt answer her she just goes on talking about random things as if Tommy didn't just ruin their entire holiday (about shit like how she thought the cake at the restaurant was too dry and about the stars and different constellations and she even continues asking him about minecraft) and Tommy, after a while, talks back to her.
They talk for a while, arguing about the best Minecraft block (Tommy wholeheartedly defending cobblestone like his life depends on it) until eventually Kristen asks why he did what he did. And Tommy explains everything (that can basically be summed up in "I'm scared of change")
It's just a wholesome moment really. They're just sitting behind a bunch of rocks, Tommy is spilling his guts and Kristen is just listening. And at then end of it she's there to give him a big hug.
(I imagine Tommy saying that one cliche line "please don't hurt my dad" and Kristen being like "I wouldn't dream of it" and then Tommy gives her the ring box)
But yeah, happy ending! Phil proposes to Kristen on the beach and it's all happy and nice and cool and Tommy, Techno and Wilbur watch and Techno starts crying a little bc he's so happy for his mum.
...
I came up with this last night when I couldn't sleep.
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uwurakax · 3 years
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another day ♡
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pairing: oikawa x f!reader ♡
genre: angsty // exes // mutual pining ♡
summary: after the constant fighting and bubbling insecurities, you and oikawa both decide that breaking up is probably for the best. too bad that it wasn’t what either if you had wanted ♡
♡ read part one ‘save your tears’ here ♡
word count: 2k ♡
author’s note: super tired, i should be packing but im not lol, 4am gang ayyy. as always not proofread because i cannot stomach the idea of rereading what i wrote. this was what originally ‘save your tears’ was going to be, but part one got too long so haha. spoils of part one, so if you haven’t read it go ahead, or don’t lolol it could be read alone ig hurr hurr ♡
♡ (inspired by save your tears - the weeknd/ariana grande) ♡
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At one point in time, you would’ve enjoyed an atmosphere like this; the blaring lights, pounding music, and even the heat radiating off warm bodies in a cramped space. It was much more enjoyable when you had the familiar, comforting presence of him.
Yes him: Oikawa Tōru. Also known as the the guy who broke your heart less than two months ago. You hadn’t seen him since the week after, finally being able to pick up everything and go. It was scary how silent it was between you two. The unit the both of you had made a home, your first home with him, just a little more barren. Just a little more bare.
Just a little more empty.
Once homely rooms were now plain. To anyone else, it could be called minimalistic or modern. Sleek if you were to exaggerate it. To the both of you however, it was just stone cold. A lifeless corpse. One poor imitation of what it once was.
And seeing it like this was almost enough to have your heart break for a second time. It was a physical representation of your relationship. The feelings of warmth, comfort, admiration, any and every word any literary body could ever akin to love was once found here. It was sad to see it gone, almost like it was never there. However if you looked past the surface you’d see all the small details of things that once occupied the room. The once full drawers now easily fitting clothes with plenty of room to spare. A countertop with products only to one half of the sink. The minuscule dust imprints left behind on the shelves that once housed your books.
The lingering smell of your perfume that was once so prominent.
You couldn’t tell, but Oikawa could. In the week you were gone, it slowly started to fade. The first night Oikawa was drowning in it. It clung to, what once was, your pillow and on the blanket. Choking and suffocating him with the sweet smell. He couldn’t bear to see the bed without you in it, and hated the God awful smell. Opening the window and facing away, he had a dreamless sleep that night.
And as the week passed, so did the scent of you.
He couldn’t explain why, but the moment he opened the door, his body felt at ease. His eyes blessed, even if you had those dark circles and slightly red eyes with unkempt hair. It was as if it was instinct to feel relief at being near you.
It was the longest few hours of Oikawa’s life that day, and somehow it was still just too short. Helping you gather your things, putting them into boxes and loading them into a tiny hired truck until eventually there was nothing left.
You were gone from the apartment, and now Oikawa’s life.
It was awkward the second time, saying goodbye. The finality of it all dawning on the both of you. You at least had this excuse to see each other once more. After this, there was nothing. No more reasons to come back, to call, message or even see each other again.
This was officially the last time you’d ever get to see Oikawa Tōru.
You’d both stood there for a few moments, only the wind against leaves and the occasional car offering any sort of background noise. Neither of you wanting or willing for this moment to end. Despite it all, it wasn’t hard to see that you both yearned for each other. Just how cruel it was that you couldn’t see it.
Oikawa kept your pillow close that night. The smell of you was so faint, he was sure that it wouldn’t be too long before it completely faded. As he held the plush item near his chest he couldn’t help but wonder what kind of life he could’ve had with you if he wasn’t so prideful? All the fantasies and white picket fences surged in his mind, and so he finally drifted off to sleep, thinking of you.
⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅
“Here”
You turned to see your best friend handing you a glass of, well you weren’t sure exactly but anything to dull your senses at this point was okay in your book. Yes, almost two months since your breakup and you were still so torn. It was what he wanted right? Your lives are better this way. You’re sure his is. He wouldn’t have to hear you “nag” as he so put it, and you didn’t have to feel the exhaustion resulting because of it.
It was better this way. You knew it. Oikawa knew it. Your friends and family knew it. Heck even the old ladies down the damn street knew it.
So why did it feel so shitty.
You downed the drink quickly, not wanting to go through the spiral of emotions you were sure you were going to experience. You’d deal with the pain and hangover tomorrow like the adult you were. For now you just wanted to dance till your feet hurt, and then drink until they stopped hurting. A quick descent into self destruction that you’re sure you’d regret.
Or maybe you wouldn’t.
The moment you turned your head to get back to the dance floor you locked eyed with him.
For a moment you stopped breathing. The music faded out quickly and the patrons of the club disappeared. Suddenly it was just you and him.
He looked good this time around, nothing like the last time you saw him. His perfectly fluffed and styled hair that was just so effortlessly Oikawa had become messy bed head. His bright chocolate eyes that twinkled just a little with mischief when he smirked had become sunken. His whole demeanour had completely drooped into a depressive state. It hurt to see.
He wasn’t like that now. He looked like how he had been before. No longer were the remnants of a heartbroken man. Oikawa Tōru had gone back to his charming self once again.
A cute girl with silky, long black hair approached him and just as quick as they went, everything came flooding back; the music, people and you found yourself being able to breathe again.
She touched his arm and laughed. The look in her eyes filled with the glimmer coyness. Her body language oozed with flirty persona. It was all too familial.
You should’ve guessed that he’d date again. It wasn’t like he couldn’t. The moment you both severed the relationship he had every right to do what he wanted. You did too. Sure you were seeing someone, but it wasn’t like that.
All too, touchy-feely.
It hurt to see, you weren’t going to lie. Seeing the way he touched her, held her, danced with her. For a good portion of the night you saw it. Seeing him be with her, the way he used to with you. No longer being the main character in his story; you were in the audience, watching.
You didn’t want to stay until the ending.
Without a word, you briskly brushed passed sweaty bodies, being bumped a few times before you finally made it to the door and opened it.
You walked a couple paces to the middle of the footpath, deeply inhaling the fresh air. It wasn’t suffocating anymore. You fumbled with your purse, reaching inside to pull out your phone. With the glow of neon lights emanating behind you, you saw a stray tear on the blackness of your screen.
Fuck, when did that happen?
You wiped it with the palm of your hand, and went to unlock your phone. As you prepared to send a text you heard the call of your voice.
“Tōr-Oikawa?”
He mentally winced at this, the formal tone of using his surname struck something inside. He didn’t like it, not at all. It wasn’t right, it felt strange.
“What are you doing here?”
“What are you doing here? You followed me”
“Right... I guess I just wanted to see how you were, that’s all” he looked away, awkwardly scratching the back of his head. You softened at this. It just took you back to why you fell for him in the first place. The little things like this, that made you feel cared for and loved. Perhaps for a few minutes you could be delusional and pretend that Oikawa still cared for you.
“I’m fine, what about you? How is everything going?” Yikes. You cringed at how awkward you were being. You supposed that that’s how it was, not exactly friends and not complete strangers either.
“Yeah fine too...” he trailed off, and just like that you were brought back to that time before you left. Before the official goodbye. Not ready to end things just yet, but neither knowing what more to say.
Just for a little while, let me remember every trace, curve and detail.
You didn’t know what came over you, but soon enough you found yourself drawing closer to Oikawa. He looked at you with half lidded eyes, not daring to move a step, almost afraid if he did it would ruin this moment with you. Yes, it was selfish but...
You lifted your hand to cup his cheek, just like a memory from before. Using the pad of your thumb, you gently brushed over the soft skin. Ever so delicately, you traced down his jaw. The intimacy of your movements crossed a boundary between you. You knew it and he did too. You’d let yourselves be greedy though.
Oikawa raised his own hands to touch your face, perfectly ingraining it into his mind and body. His fingers slowly going over your features. He wouldn’t allow himself to forget any part of you.
It wasn’t long until you both wanted to overstep more.
The longing between you too great to try and stop. Eventually you both moved closer, faces and soul alike reaching for the other. Just a bit closer.
“Y/N?”
“Oikawa?”
You both frantically pulled away, heart racing now.
“Kageyama..”
“Tobio”
Oikawa tried to hide the venom in his voice, he really did, but when he saw Kageyama make his way beside you he couldn’t help but see red.
It didn’t seem like life was playing a very fair game.
“Oikawa are you alright?” He looked down at the petite girl beside him, now clinging to his arm. He threw on one of his brilliant smiles and told her it was okay.
“Are you cold? Here” Oikawa couldn’t keep up that smile for too long, not when he saw him putting his jacket around you. How you snuggled into the warmth. How it showed Oikawa that you were no longer his, and that you now found solace in another.
He couldn’t blame you, he knew that deep inside. He did the same, why shouldn’t you? It didn’t stop the burning hatred and envy he felt. The overwhelming sadness that enveloped him. All a heavy dump of emotions thrown on him within a few seconds.
You felt it too though. That girl hanging off his arm. Getting to parade around that Oikawa was hers. It was totally unreasonable to feel this way. You both ended things. It was mutual right? You would’ve told him and he would’ve told you if this breakup was a mistake right?
Right?
“Wanna go?” Kageyama whispered in your ear. You nodded.
“It was nice seeing you again T-Oikawa” you smiled sadly.
“You too Y/N...bye” you both turned away, walking in opposite directions. With every step, your heartache grew just a little more. Almost like your body needed to be near his, the memories it held being more truthful than your head could ever be.
Your heart, body and soul wanted Oikawa.
Your mind told you to let him go for his sake.
“Hey Y/N?”
“Hey Oikawa?”
“Yes Kageyama?”
“Hmm?”
“He was your ex right? Oikawa?”
“That girl back there, is she her? The ex?
“Yeah he was”
“Yeah, she was”
“Do you still love him?”
“Do you still love her?”
There was a pause and you both stopped, mulling the question over.
Did you still love each other? It wasn’t hard to tell, everyone knew the answer. Ask any stranger but...
“No”
..
...
..
You both lied.
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studioxlii · 3 years
Note
18 and Junhee pls!! Xx
"to be fully seen by somebody, then, be loved anyhow is a human offering that can border on miraculous."
proof read: kinda
warnings: none
note(s): the format might be garbage, im mobile.
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Love is a weird thing but so are the conditions that come with it; the limits that people decide need to be in place. You understood boundaries or not wanting to take too many steps before you knew the relationship would hold but some things never sat right with you. It took a few years but it wasn't until you overheard some of your project group talking that it finally hit you; most people you knew didn't want to date their best friends for two reasons.
1. It could ruin their friendship. This reason was obvious and of course you understood.
2. They'd seen way too much.
You remember hearing those words and your head lifting, confused and wondering what that could even mean. When you were in a relationship that would eventually progress, weren't they just going to see those things anyway? You never could let that thought go, not once you decided that would only make it better; it would make a relationship stronger. Well, in your eyes.
Dating was something that seemed to come easier to you before those thoughts started polluting your mind; no one seemed to understand or see you in a way you really wanted. The ideal person for you was someone who saw everything; the bad days, the good days and the maybe okay but not so great days. It was really starting to mess with you. By not wanting to date certain friends, were you restricting yourself from the relationship you really wanted?
Only one person, one friend, knew you better than you knew yourself, you were positive of that. Your best friend of nine years, Junhee, had probably been through almost every bad thing possible in life with you. You began recalling all the situations you'd been in with each other that were memorable; the things you wouldn't have faced with anyone else because you didn't want anyone else to see.
'Do you remember when you got your belly button pierced?'
And that's when it began.
The question came out of nowhere, breaking the silence of your apartment and leaving Junhee to look up from his book confused and blinking. 'Uh.. yes?' His response came out slow, hesitant like he was missing some weird in-between the lines meaning of the question.
Your head tilted, finally looking over at him. 'Do you remember the way you squeezed my hand to the point it was purple because it hurt so bad you nearly passed out?'
His features flushed at the ridiculous memory being forced back into his head. 'You mean the same day you had to cling to me, crying because your first tattoo felt like your leg was being seared off?'
You hated crying in front of people for any reason but you couldn't go alone; you'd never go alone for something like that. You just nodded in response before returning to your own book, continuing to read like you hadn't brought the subject up at all.
Your first date after you began recalling things and getting far too deep in what could only be sentimental thoughts went okay. A friend of your friend's, Sehyoon, who was an art major and knew of you but didn't know you; he'd never really integrated himself into the small friend circle on campus but Byeongkwan spoke highly of him.
He was sweet; a gentleman. Pretty much anything you could really ask for but you noticed little things; minute things that didn't even matter. You felt like you were being unreasonable or judgmental despite only picking out things that didn't match. Didn't match what, exactly?
He wasn't Junhee.
The realization had you suddenly shooting up from your seat, interrupting the poor male's answer to your question about his major and spilling out several apologies as you even fought to put money down for your own food. It took quite a few more 'I'm really sorry's before you were speeding out of the small restaurant; you'd make sure to call him later.
You found yourself in the only place that made sense: banging hard on the door of the RA for your building, hardly caring if you disturbed anyone else.
'What?' was the greeting you received from a very frustrated Donghun, wanting nothing more than to be left alone again. And yes, you called each other your friend.
'We have a really, really big problem.'
Being a mutual friend and despite not wanting to get involved in anyone's "drama", he spent two hours talking you out of it, down from it and against it, reminding you just why your newfound feelings for your best friend were a problem. He even reminded you of your comment, three years ago, about how you could never possibly like Junhee; how he remembered that and you didn't, you didn't care to ask.
You returned home a wreck, tired and wanting to burn your own emotions. Were you really uncovering some unconsciously buried feelings or did you just like the fact that he /saw/ you? He'd seen you nearly on your deathbed sick.
He'd seen you living in a depression nest for two weeks, barely able to get out a bed and eating nothing but honey buns and cereal.
He'd seen you grieve family members and pets; seen you walk into the rain and scream at the top of your lungs because of how lost in despair you'd been.
He'd seen you drunk and stupid; he'd seen you the night after a one night stand and hungover to the point you wanted to fight the sun.
He'd sat by you absolutely throwing your guts up.
He had seen every single side of you and you'd seen the same from him but it only started to stack further and further.
You knew his favorite songs because God forbid he only have one. You knew his favorite color, favorite food and his weird retirement plan that involved a tiny petting zoo of his own that he refused to just call a farm. Your pins for everything were each other's birthdates and he was the only other name on your bank account. Why?
Staring down at the menu you'd seen over a hundred times, you were sure, you couldn't decide on just what sounded good and part of you just wanted everything. Those moments staring at words that started to blur, you noticed Junhee hadn't touched his menu and kept shifting around, visibly uncomfortable for reasons you couldn't possible figure out.
'It's unlike you to not be going off about the food here.. or already having ordered your favorite drink that, I recall, you said you'd die without if you didn't have it every time you came here,' you began, closing the menu and setting it down with narrowed eyes, 'what's going on?'
'It's stupid. Just.. order and get some food, I'll probably just eat later. I'm not really hungry.'
That was a bold faced lie and you knew it, the concern growing. 'And, what's the oh-so-stupid reason, exactly?'
It took him a minute, shifting more and acting like a child who had gotten in trouble. 'I, uh.. I can't really..' he gestured around, lips pursed and growing even more upset by the second, you could tell by the way he was trying to stop himself from frowning. 'Can't really afford it.' You were college students, it wasn't the world's biggest secret if you couldn't afford something.
'Do you really think I'm just going to eat in front of you?' You snorted, avoiding any comment that would further his being upset over the situation, 'Don't worry about it and order, okay?'
Financial struggles were no quiet matter between the two of you and never had been since you started school. Junhee lived off campus in an apartment with two shitty roommates, a terrible part time job and parents that pretty much didn't care if he perished on the side of the street somewhere. You, on the other hand, which you didn't like bringing up, were doing fine but only because your parents dropped something of an 'allowance' into your account for foods and necessities.
You ignored his attempt to argue and told him if he didn't order something, you were going to do it for him; he shut up.
The next day, you took a trip to the bank.
You could feel eyes on you as you splayed across the couch, staring at the ceiling and contemplating life and all of it's annoyances. No question left you but even if you wanted to say something, you were cut off.
'So, are you going to tell me what's going on? For the past.. three weeks? You've been asking me all sorts of weird stuff,' Junhee inquired, frowning thoughtfully, 'Are you testing me or something? Trust me, yes, I remember every single second I've spent with you. I remember every word you've said, the names of every guy you've been with and the ones I'd like to fight. I remember every birthday and gift I've given you and the ones you've given me. Yes, I remember your favorite things and everything so, what's the deal?'
It sounded sentimental at first but then you noticed that all too familiar waiver in his voice and out of the corner of your eye, you noticed his hands fiddling with the chain bracelet that had adorned his wrist for five years; he wanted to cry. A crying Junhee was something no one ever wanted on your hands and you briefly recalled a phone call from a very panicked Byeongkwan because of just that but you were letting your thoughts get off topic.
'I think I'm in love with you.'
'If you don't want to be fri-'
You were both cut off as your head turned to finally look at him, soaking in the unreadable expression on his features when someone busted through the door; 'Look!'
Both of you looked towards your two friends that invited themselves into your door, one holding a new cat and the other looking just as pleased with the announcement but it gradually dropped. 'Shit, did we interrupt something?' Of course, you always knew when you finally and truly confessed to someone that it would be Byeongkwan who ruined the whole thing; you used it as an escape, though, reminding yourself of what the confession could do to your friendship.
'New minion, I see,' you chimed, sitting up and ignoring the question, both of them, as you rose to greet Donghun's new pet. You were ignorant to the looks shared between the three boys and you were happy about that.
Now, you just had to avoid it ever coming up again until it was forgotten.
Junhee, however, didn't want that to happen.
After about an hour of chitchatting and ignoring the gaze of your best friend, you excused yourself under the excuse of having a meetup for a class, despite it being your dorm, and managed to weasel your way out. There was really nowhere to go, no one to talk to and you surely didn't have any plans for the next week; you ended up at the café on campus. It was quiet and filled mostly with a few students doing work and the two members of staff behind the counter, one eventually joining you at the table. He didn't say anything, waited for you to stop your dramatic Disney scene and acknowledge him.
'Would you date me, Yu?'
Taken a bit off guard, he ended up snorting. 'I can't tell if this is a trap or you want the genuine answer,' he replied, crossing his arms atop the table, 'but, on the hand that it's serious.. probably. I mean, I definitely wouldn't turn you down. We've known each other for a few years, hang out on a regular basis.. get along and have a lot of similar interests. So, yeah.'
The answer made your lips draw into a deep frown and you tapped your fingers against the cup, soaking up every word. 'Even though we're friends? What if we broke up?'
A soft 'ah' came from him as he realized what was really going on and he shrugged, thinking it over for a minute or two. 'We're both adults and I don't believe either of us would do something so that the breakup would be something that could ruin our friendship. I understand it would be like.. friends then it being intimate then back to friends, but I think both of us are mature enough to deal with that and not let it bother us too much.' He spoke like he'd been through it several times and in reality, it had only been once, a small fling with a mutual friend but they still seemed pretty okay. 'Is this about Jun?'
'Does everyone know?' You groaned out, releasing the cup to lean back and rub your hands over your face in defeat, 'I.. I told him I think I love him then Kwan and Donghun showed up and I bailed because now I don't actually want to face him or admit to ever actually saying it. I do! I do love him! I don't.. I don't want to lose him, you know?'
You could see the way the latter looked at you, sympathetic and calculating what words wouldn't just stress you out further. 'Look.. I know you don't want to hear it from me or anyone else for that matter because you want to keep saying it'll ruin your friendship when in reality, you don't like the idea that you could hurt each other, I was the same way with Donghun, so I understand.. but, you should really see all this from an outsider's point of view. Junhee looks at you like you hung the moon and you look at him like he painted the stars; yes, it's been like that since I've met you and a reminder, it's been years. I don't know what took you so long to realize it or if you've just avoided it this whole time but anyone would have to be blind not to see it. Now,' he sighed deeply as he finished and straightened, 'I think you should probably go and talk to him about it considering you just confessed then ditched but it's your choice. I don't think you have anything to worry about.. for either of you. You're the most loyal person I know, so I have no doubt you'd ever hurt him in a way that would ruin you guys and he can barely swat at a fly or sit still through hearing thunder, you think he's going to do something? Regardless.. one of these days, soon, you'll have to face it and I really hope you don't go into it with the cliché reason of your friendship being ruined.'
The words sank in slow and you wanted nothing but to cry your eyes out because he was right; he always was and you hated it. It took a while for you to speak and he seemed okay with that, briefly leaving you to fill a couple orders before returning. 'I know you're leaving for break tomorrow.. tell him before then.' Those were his last words before he bid you good luck and a good night, heading back to his own dorm, most likely to call Donghun now that he'd projected just a little bit.
Irrationality was a word that would be in your character description box and the word stupid could very well be right next to it because when you got home, you packed your bag and decided to leave early, not bothering to let any of your friends know. You needed time and you were being selfish, so selfish to the point you thought maybe he'd just hate you when you got back.
Oh boy were you wrong.
Two days into being back home and confiding in your mother who promptly smacked you upside the back of the head, you found yourself sitting on the porch and moping, split between what to do. You suspected the boys were a bit angry with you when you noticed the ample amount of texts, voicemails, social messages and phone calls that had gone ignored; you caught a glimpse of the absolute book Yuchan took the time to send you, leaving you kind of scared to even open it. It didn't take long for the guilt to set in but you chose to wait until you were back on campus to deal with it.
Or at least, that was your plan.
'So, I know you've never been a fan of confrontation but.. you've never been the type to run away.'
The sudden voice startled you as you hadn't even noticed anyone pull up and of course, upon looking up, you were met with the face you were trying to avoid the most. Junhee stood at the end of the sidewalk looking pitiful and shifting his weight in a nervous manner. You didn't bother trying to speak, not knowing what to say but you did wait for the rant, the berating that you deserved; that wasn't who he was though.
He even stayed quiet for a minute or two, making his way closer to sit on the steps, looking up towards your figure. 'Did you mean it?'
You could have answered right away, poured your heart out and let out the tears you'd been holding in since the moment you left. Instead, you stayed quiet and pulled your knees closer to your chest, not trusting your own voice. He didn't relent though, reaching out to lightly nudge your knee.
'That's all I need to know.. did you mean it? If.. if you didn't I can just leave and we don't have to bother with it again.'
'And, if I did..?' Finally finding your voice, you looked over to him, chewing hard on your lower tier, nervous and kind of wanting to throw up.
You could see him thinking it over before a faint smile showed up. 'I'd most likely cry.. but I'm going to cry either way,' he began, shrugging his shoulders while moving up to sit next to you, 'I'd also tell you that I love you, too and I've been trying to tell you that for years now.'
The confession made your heart flutter, your skin burn and the butterflies being kept back burst in delight in your gut. 'Even.. after everything we've been through? Everything you've seen..?'
Junhee nodded. 'Mhm. I'd go through it all again and what do you mean? I've seen nothing but you.'
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vennilavee · 4 years
Text
to build a home - ch 1
beyond the drapes
attack on titan masterlist
ch 2 - a girl in a bar
Pairing: levi x reader (attack on titan)
Summary: a modern au where you and levi both work for the Survey Corps, a non-profit organization with a mission to help the youth of the Underground District.
Warnings: cursing, suggestive themes
Word Count: 3787
A/N: im so excited to explore levi’s character in this setting!! this story will be a series of moments in no sequential order. in this modern au, the walls still exist, as does the underground district. the only thing modern about it is the technology and culture lolol ENJOY
*** This day is bound to be a long one- it’s only 10 AM and you’ve already been in back to back meetings with several of donors for the foundation. You’ve been in meetings for the last three and a half hours, your toasted bagel now cold and your second cup of coffee now empty. You sigh and roll your shoulders back, pinching the bridge of your nose in annoyance.
These rich types would be the death of you. But Erwin had specifically asked you to handle the rich donors. As if Hange or Levi would be able to sit through even one of these ass-kissing phone calls. You can hear sugary sweetness dripping off of your tongue with practiced patience and you hardly recognize it. It’s an out of body experience. As words are rolling off your tongue, you wonder how Levi would fare with this responsibility.
He’d complain the whole time and then tell the person on the other end of the video call to fuck off and get their heads out of their asses. The thought makes you scoff and you clear your throat to cover the sound.
Erwin knew your strengths and weaknesses as individuals and a team, and you were grateful for such an insightful boss and friend.
Once you seal the third donation of the morning, you take your headset off and rub your temples. You’re glad you’re free until noon, giving you some time to catch up on emails and catch up with your colleagues and friends. The drapes in your office were drawn back, illuminating your office in a faint sunny glow. Today, the sun was hiding behind the clouds so it wasn’t terribly bright.
And yes, you had drapes in your office. They were a midnight blue with threads of gold embroidered throughout. Everyone else had normal blinds, but you had seen these drapes while window shopping years ago for this new office and you knew it belonged. Something about the blue and gold made you feel royal and regal. As if this was yours and yours only.
That didn’t mean that Levi didn’t tell you how stupid your drapes were and how stupid you were at least once daily- “You think this is a stupid castle or something? You hear yourself?”
To which you would prompt reply, “if this was a castle, you’d be the damn gargoyle in front. The one that scares everyone away.”
And then he’d just ‘tch’ at you and roll his eyes.
What an ass.
You’re growing restless, so you lock your computer and get up to stretch your muscles for a few minutes. Sitting for hours at a time does a number on you in ways that you’d never expect- your shoulders sometimes hurt, your lower back, even your ass.
Maybe you need a better seat and desk setup, you muse. Walking down the hallway with your cold bagel in your left hand, you rotate your right shoulder and wince. You pass several of the new hires, Eren and Jean who seem to be bickering amongst themselves but straighten up and say ‘good morning’ to you as you pass them. You give them a smile and a wave, continuing on your way.
You stop by Hange’s office, where her door is wide open and papers are strewn all over the place. She’s viciously typing on her computer as she pushes her glasses up the bridge of her nose in between each word. Her hair is in disarray and you sigh when you knock on her door.
“Hange,” You call, “Did you stay up all night again?”
“Huh? No way,” Hange gasps, looking at the time, “I just got caught up with things! You know- I’m this close to finishing this grant proposal! Look how much money we’re gonna get outta them! They won’t know what hit ‘em-”
“Hange,” You say firmly, “I’m calling you a cab to go home. Go to sleep. I don’t trust you to drive home, considering you’ve been up all night.”
“What?! I can drive-”
“Hange!” You interrupt her, “I’m serious! Come back tomorrow. Take it easy.”
She slumps in her chair in defeat and removes her glasses, rubbing her eyes in fatigue. “Oh alright. I guess I’m a little tired.”
“See you tomorrow, Hange,” You salute and point to your phone, “Cab’s on it’s way.”
With that, you make your way further down the hallway and come to a stop in front of Levi’s office. You knock and immediately open the door without allowing a moment of rest in between.
“What’s the point of knocking if you’re just going to barge in?” Levi asks, eyes still on his computer screen.
“It’s much more dramatic, and we both know you would’ve left me waiting. Because you’re an ass,” You reply good-naturedly, sliding into the seat in front of his desk and propping your legs up on his desk. Your shoes are in his face and he pinches the bridge of his nose in annoyance.
“To what do I owe this most shitty pleasure?” Levi says, eyes narrowed at your bagel, “You here to ruin my office? Last time you were here I had to spend an hour cleaning it-”
You bite your tongue at the response you want to provide to that.
“No reason. Just have been on calls all morning. Was bored,” You shrug and wince at the slight shoulder movement.
Levi quirks an eyebrow at you but says nothing. He continues typing away, seemingly ignoring you as you munch on your half of the bagel. Once you’re finished with it, he throws a banana at you wordlessly. You fail to hide your smile.
“You’ll get hungry in about an hour with that shitty bagel. And then I’ll have to hear about it,” Levi says tonelessly, eyes trained on you. You roll your eyes at him and peel your banana.
“So you gave me this banana to shut me up?”
“Yes, it’s in my own best interest.”
A comfortable silence falls between the both of you. You eye the snow globe that you had gotten him for Christmas and his birthday on his shelf. It looks as if you had purchased it for him yesterday, when in reality it was over five years old. His office is as clean as ever, just like him.
“That’s a nice shirt,” You murmur, eyes raking over him shamelessly,  “Who’s the lucky person who bought it for you?”
And honestly, he wants to do something about the smug smirk on your face. But instead he just stares at you, face as impassive as ever. His hair falls into his eyes with a practiced poise. You see the corners of his lips turn up, nearly daring to give you something resembling a smile.
“What makes you think I didn’t buy it myself?”
“Come on, Levi. You and I both know your sense of style is… questionable most times.”
“My sense of style? You really want to talk about your shitty drapes?” Levi asks, but you sense no malice in his voice.
“My drapes? Wouldn’t you like to know if the curtains match the drapes-”
“I can’t think of anything worse to know.”
You gasp in indignation, hand to your heart. “Don’t be such an ass!”
“Then don’t be such a brat!”
“Ugh,” You groan, standing up from your seat and making sure there are no crumbs falling off of you, “I have actual work to do, Ackerman. Quit wasting my time.”
“Door’s right there, sweetheart,” Levi says nonchalantly, looking back down at his planner and not sparing you a second glance.
“See you soon, handsome,” You call, turning back to wave at him and he gifts you with an upturn of his lips.
***
The Survey Corps was a nonprofit organization run by Erwin Smith and the mission of the organization was to find and provide educational resources and mentoring to the youths in the city. Specifically, the mission was to show kids who grew up in the shadows that they could have a life outside of the shadows and in the light with the help of the Survey Corps.
That’s not to say that the Survey Corps had all of the answers and all of the funds to fix the poverty in the walls. But your team tried their hardest to help the kids. Because the kids were the future.
As an organization, you had done some pretty amazing things and had some pretty amazing connections. The Survey Corps had been successful in launching many partnerships and setting up afterschool programs for the kids to find their interests. It was the kind of work that made you feel fulfilled and driven.
Not to mention, that you worked with some of the best people. Despite everyone’s differences, everyone had a clear shared passion for helping the kids of the city.
You truly loved your job, and everyone around you did as well. Ever since Erwin had promoted you to Director of Impact all those years ago and had seen your capabilities, you had really been able to thrive.
Bringing those new kids on board was your idea for the most part- Levi had complained the whole time, asking why they needed a separate youth outreach group when Erwin’s original team wasn’t even that old.
You had kindly told him that you weren’t teenagers anymore and hadn’t been in two decades. He had glared at you but nodded in agreement.
The rest of your afternoon was relatively free, you were just finishing up a few project ideas for outreach and catching up with some of the new kids.
You should probably stop calling them kids, you think dryly. They’re all in their early twenties, fresh faced and eager. Besides Mikasa- she’s almost as neutral as Levi is, with similar eyes, and you can’t help but wonder if they’re distantly related.
You rotate your shoulder again and massage it lightly with a wince. Damn, your right shoulder has been aching over the last week. Maybe you needed a real massage. Or a new chair.
You send all of your emails out quickly with your shoulder beginning to throb in pain as minutes go by.
Death by the office.
You tell Jean and Connie to meet you in the break-out room for your quick catch-up, unable to take sitting at your desk for much longer. You bring a notebook and a pen with you to the break-out room and wait for them to arrive.
They sit across from you with their stainless steel water bottles in front of them. They’re chatting animatedly, telling you about their ideas and their plans of all the good they can bring to the kids within the walls. Their shared enthusiasm makes you smile.
You start taking notes on their ideas, already thinking of ways to bring them to life. You groan softly as your hand cramps up from the pain in your right shoulder and neck shooting down your arm.
Jean calls your name and you look up.
“Are you okay?” He asks, “You look like you’re in pain.”
“Obviously she’s in pain!” Connie exclaims indignantly, “Sorry about him. He likes to state the obvious.”
“I’ll be alright. My shoulder is just- acting up today…” You trail off and rotate it, “Anyway, I like your ideas. Keep it up, I love the enthusiasm. And don’t try to out maneuver each other either.”
You look pointedly at Jean who gives you a look of innocence.
“We’re a team,” You murmur.
“Captain still calls us interns,” Connie blurts out and you can’t help but let out a laugh. That they still call Levi their Captain, because he’s so rigid with them and that he still calls them interns.
“I’ll talk to Captain grump,” You reassure them, “He calls you interns out of affection.”
“Affection? From Captain Levi? Pff,” Jean scoffs, crossing his arms.
“You’d be surprised, Jean.”
***
Levi catches your soft whistle of pain as you slide the straps of your backpack over your shoulders. He wordlessly stands behind you and pushes the straps of your arm and carries your backpack for you instead. He gives you his phone and keys to hold on to and you give him a smile in return.
He walks you to the car in silence, opening the door for you and waiting for you to get in. Levi catches your grimace and soft exhale once more as you shift in the seat.
“You told Hange to go home?” Levi asks, breaking the silence.
“Yeah,” You nod, “She was here all night again. I don’t know how it gets past Erwin, but I told her to come back after she’s rested.”
Levi nods, eyes trained on the road in front of him. One hand on the steering wheel and one on his thigh. After a moment of staring off into the setting sun, you feel Levi’s hand slide into yours and his thumb rub against yours. His gaze hasn’t shifted, but you can see the light in the corner of his eyes.
He has let his hair and his scruff grow out a little longer than he usually likes- is he distracted? You can’t recall the last time his hair has been this long, but you like it. You make a mental note to ask him about it once you get home.
But as always, Levi can feel your eyes on him.
“Why are you staring?” He asks bluntly.
“Just lookin’ at your ugly mug,” You say nonchalantly, not missing the way his lips quirk up.
“You’ve been with this ugly mug for the last six years,” Levi says dryly, “And what does that say about you?”
“That I have good taste,” You beam at him and he rolls his eyes fondly.
“You’re a brat.”
“You’re an ass.”
You squeeze his hand and watch the planes of his face imperceptibly relax. He wonders how long your shoulder has been bothering you like this. You had mentioned a few times over the last week that it was an odd sort of ache, but today, it seemed like you were in a lot of pain. He’ll ask you about it when you get home.
Home. The space he’s shared with you for the last three and a half years. Levi thinks about that often. He thinks about being a rough, underground kid with nothing but dirt and danger to his name. He wonders if that kid would’ve ever dreamed of living a life like this. He often thinks about Erwin finding him so young and pledging to help him and help kids like him.
Levi often thinks about you. You, who had offered him nothing but laughs and coffee when he had nothing to give. You, who offered your shoulder when he didn’t have the strength to ask. You, who found a crack in his armor of steel and buried yourself next to him despite his roughness.
You.
Even now, he still wonders from time to time if you are aware of the extent of his adoration for you. But when you look at him in that soft way of yours, in that way that’s only reserved for him, he thinks you do.
***
Levi hears your pained gasp from the kitchen and then a call of his name. He sees you standing in your underwear, clutching your right shoulder with creased eyebrows.
“Levi,” You murmur, “Will you help me out of this shirt?”
Levi hums and brushes his knuckles over your neck gently.
“Lift your arms up for a second. This would be easier if this shirt was a button up rather than this shitty material,” He mutters, “This might hurt for a sec.”
He hears your sharp inhale and exhale as he pulls your top off. Levi pulls out one of his own shirts that has now become your sleep shirt and a pair of his shorts for you. He’s quick and precise in his movements, unclasping your bra easily and tugging his shirt over your head. He even helps you into his shorts and you press a kiss to his cheek in gratitude.
Levi rubs your shoulder gingerly, eyes cast over you in concern.
“Go sit on the couch,” Levi murmurs, “I think we still have some of that medicinal paste my mom gave us. The one that’s supposed to help with pains like this. Your shoulder is tight.”
“That’s not the only thing that’s tight,” You wink at him and he shakes his head, patting your hair.
You’re tempted to follow Levi to the kitchen but refrain when he shoots you a look. Instead, you settle on the couch, stretching your legs out.
“Took you long enough,” You grumble, scooting up on the couch for him to lay behind you.
“It took me two minutes. Did you lose your sense of time as well?” Levi murmurs, pulling you into his chest.
You hum, already feeling yourself relax and take his hand in yours. Levi pulls the right side of your shirt down a little to examine your shoulder. He presses a finger to your upper neck and you hiss once his fingers press a little lower. He continues his examination, trying to figure out exactly where you’re in pain.
“Gonna give you a massage,” Levi says, “Might hurt at first. It’ll feel nice after. You can hold my hand if it does.”
“Thanks for your permission, honey,” You roll your eyes but clasp his free hand in yours once more.
His fingers are steady, gentle but firm against your skin. Levi whispers words to you, words of his day, words of what he thinks of the new interns. You correct him for the millionth time, reminding him that they’re not interns anymore. They’re employees now, part of the team. He scoffs but it pulls a laugh from you.
And then you gasp sharply when Levi’s hand prods at a knot. You squeeze his hand reflexively but after a few soothing touches, the pain washes away and the knot dissolves. Levi continues to rub your muscles and you lean further into his chest, your eyes closed in bliss.
He maneuvers you so as to not disturb you too much and spreads the topical analgesic on your shoulder, leaving your skin exposed. So that the medicine doesn’t spread on your shirt.
“Good?” Levi asks, rubbing your other shoulder. You nod, peering up at him and pecking his lips in gratitude. You try to deepen the kiss, try to rake your fingers through his hair the way he likes, but he turns his cheek.
“You’re gonna waste the medicine. It’ll stick to your shirt rather than your shoulder.”
“Seriously?” You groan.
“Blame your shitty shoulder,” Levi says and you glare at him.
“Take my shirt off then.”
“It’ll stick to your shirt when I take it off. Don’t be stupid.”
“Wow, you really thought this through,” You grumble, settling back into his chest and hoping the medicine absorbs quickly. He gives you a rare smile and kisses your forehead, his hand snaking under your shirt to rub your belly, his fingertips at your ribcage. The way he knows you like.
It had taken a long time for Levi to touch you like this. But you didn’t mind though. You were patient, and he was worth it. He was an immensely private person and while he was never ashamed of you- the thought had never even struck his mind- he preferred to keep his business within the walls of your home. Even at work, Erwin often teased both of you that he could hardly tell that you were in a long term relationship with the way you two bickered with each other and the general lack of PDA. But Hange, bless her, would scold Erwin for being so dense-
How can you not tell? They argue like a married couple!
It had taken a long time for Levi to touch you like this. He can remember when the mere act of looking at you had proven to be too much sometimes. And somehow, you always knew when he needed space. When it got to be too much. It had even taken you a long time to touch him like this. He was unlike anyone you had ever met in every way. You’re certain from the way you fit within the spaces of his arms that this is where you were meant to be.
Something gentle settles in your cheeks, in the way you blink at him, in the way you’re stroking his undercut. He very nearly purrs at the touch but still-
“What are you thinking about?”
“You,” You reply, not missing his ‘tch’ in response, “Your hair’s getting long…”
You run your fingers through his dark, silky strands and leave a trail of burning embers in your wake. You cup his cheek and he leans into your touch, head tilting into your hand slightly. His grown out stubble prickles your hand and you push yourself closer to him.
“Something on your mind?” You murmur, “You never go this long without a haircut. Or a shave.”
“Testing something out,” Levi says vaguely and you hum.
“Whatever you say, honey,” You reply, pressing a kiss to his neck.
“Don’t worry about it. You’ll hurt yourself if you think too much.”
“Noted. Thanks for looking out for me, Levi,” You say dryly, poking his chest.
“Someone has to,” Levi mutters, “Think you need a new chair at work. You’ve always had a shitty chair. Or maybe you need a standing desk. I’ll build you one.”
You’re barely listening, eyes beginning to flutter closed and you hum in agreement. Levi is just so warm, it’s no surprise that you’re asleep in just a few minutes. Your breaths are steady against his arm as you shift a little to turn on your side. You must be tired. Levi grabs the book he’s currently reading from the coffee table, drapes a blanket over you and rubs your back as you fall into a deeper sleep.
As he reads, he can’t really focus on the words on the page. He’s busy thinking about you, and how easily you grew to trust him and to love him. Despite how long it took for him to even realize that what he felt towards you was trust and love. Levi thinks back to the kid from the Underground. That kid is still him, and he remembers the faint desire to have a semblance of this life. To feel the sun against his face, the wind in his hair. To be unabashedly himself.
And somehow, not even the freeing feeling of the sun on his face and the wind in his hair can compare to your velvet touch on his skin.
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brelione · 4 years
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Not as Terrible (Rafe Cameron X Routledge!Reader)
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Warnings:Not proof read, swearing
Being John.B’s older sister was definitely and adventure.You were only older by a year but that one year age gap did a lot for you.Whether it was arguments or discussions on who would do a dangerous task you could always pull the older sibling card.
Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didnt but it was always worth a shot.But then again being the older sibling and John.B’s only family meant that you had other responsibilities,including messing up anyone that messed with him.
Rafe kissed you gently, a grin on his face. “I love you.”He grinned,hands in your hoodie pocket. “I know.I gotta go soon,JB’s gonna get made at me.”His face fell,pouting. “He shouldnt be your responsibility.”He grumbled,holding you tight.
You simply shrugged, not wanting to go through your life story and how it was now your job to take care of him.He could never understand the situation, he didnt really give a damn about Sarah.He also had a father, a shitty one for sure but he still had a father at least.He couldnt understand being a pogue either.
You guys were completely different in pretty much every way imaginable but ‘opposites attract’ or whatever bullshit. “I know….I’ll see you tomorrow though, right?”You asked,sitting up.He nodded,pulling you into another quick kiss before kissing your forehead lightly.
 “Dont forget to hate me.”You reminded him,opening his window and sliding down the fire escape,feeling his eyes on you as you hopped the fence.He sighed, becoming tired of the little game you guys had to play.
Because Rafe was the direct enemy of your brother and his friends that meant that you were supposed to avoid him entirely.It was just the rules of life.But that being said if you ever came across one of your brothers enemies you had to mess with them.
That included messing with Rafe,randomly showing up and flicking the back of his head,disappearing before he knew it was you.It started as you being an annoying presence to ruin his day,spitting gum onto his windshield or placing fake tickets on his car.
But slowly you started falling in love with him because of course you did.It was fucked up but you couldnt stop it, him eventually falling for you too.Thats when this little game began, sneaking out of your house and over to Rafe’s to cuddle and watch movies together,coming home late at night when John.B and his friends were having a fire.
JJ would pull you onto his lap, asking where you had been.He had a thing for you, claiming that it would be fine if the two of you guys got together because you were only eight months older than him so it wasnt that strange.
The age gap itself wasnt strange, it was the fact that he was your brother’s best friend for the last eight years that made things strange.You were fine with sitting in his lap while he whispered jokes into your ear in attempts to get you to laugh.
Of course it felt a little wrong because you were dating Rafe but you couldnt exactly tell him that without John.B finding out too, instead just letting JJ mess around with you because you knew nothing was going to come from it.
The next day you were decided to go with them to the beach, regretting it when you saw Rafe with Topper and Kelce, sitting in beach chairs with beer bottles in their hands.You saw JJ’s jaw clench, John.B rolling his eyes.
 “Why are they here?This isnt fair.”You brother grumbled, Pope nodding in agreement.The five of you decided to sit in the sand for a while,JJ’s hand on your knee almost like he was trying to protect you from Rafe’s eyes.If only he knew.Rafe kept looking over to you, a blush on his cheeks as he did so.
Eventually they left, leaving you and your brothers friends alone on the beach. “You know, I think im just gonna head back home.I have a headache.”You told them, making your way up the sandy hills before they could question it.As you began your walk down one of the dirt streets to get back to the house a bike pulled up next to you, your boyfriend being the one riding it.
 “Hey pretty girl.”You could practically hear the smile through his helmet.You sighed, stopping your walk to stare at him as he took off his helmet,leaning down to give you a quick kiss. “You coming to my house tonight?”He asked, twisting the fabric of your tshirt.
You shrugged, not sure what your brother was going to be doing. “I dont know if I can, John.B and the others might want me to go get groceries with them or something.”You replied,feeling his grip on you tighten,humming. “I havent messed with them in a while.”He muttered, glad when you smiled. 
“Thats good, I would have beat your ass if you did.”You teased with a roll of your eyes. He chuckled,kissing your forehead. “I would've liked it though.”He admitted.You laughed,smacking his arm lightly. “Shut up.”You grumbled, unaware of JJ watching you guys. 
“Is he bothering you?”JJ asked, coming out from his hiding spot in the trees.Your eyes widened, your stomach tightening.Shit. “Uh...no, everythings fine, JJ.Just go back to the beach.”You told him,hoping you didnt sound too suspicious.His blue eyes fell to your hand, the one that was holding Rafe’s.Fuck. 
“Is something going on that I should know about?”He asked,glaring at Rafe like he was trying to make his head blow up. “No, just go back to the beach.”You told him, a sort of assertive tone to your voice that was reserved for John.B when he wanted to do something dangerous.JJ’s eyebrows furrowed, not used to you speaking to him like this.
He nodded,walking away, sending you a look of disappointment before disappearing into the trees, most likely about to tell John.B what he had just seen.Rafe noticed how uneasy you were,hugging you. “Hey, dont stress about it.He’s got nothing on you, whats he gonna do?Complain that we were having a conversation?”He asked, not really helping.
“So I just saw (Y/N) talking to Rafe.”JJ grabbed a beer from the cooler, all eyes falling on him. “Cameron?”John.B asked, not really believing that you’d ever talk to such a vile human being.JJ nodded,sipping the alcoholic drink.
 “They were all over eachother, it was weird.”He grumbled, a slight jealousy in his voice.Kiara raised her eyebrows, a little mad about the situation. “What do you mean they were all over eachother?”She asked, looking over to Pope.
 “I mean they were holding hands and shit,giggling and he was like,I dont know.Its weird.”He tried his best to explain,realising it didnt sound as serious as it was. “(Y/N) doesnt giggle...she just...she just stares at people.Are you sure it was Rafe?”Pope asked.This was out of character for you.You had joined their conversations before, all of you talking shit about the Cameron family.
You had called Rafe a “Cruel, disgusting bitch.” it didnt make sense that you’d willingly talk to him.Meanwhile you were on the back of Rafe’s bike,arms wrapped around him tight as he pulled into his driveway, trying to figure out the best way to sneak you inside.
You ended up being hidden by him as you guys shuffled up the stairs, nearly getting caught by Ward.Luckily he was too busy on a call, not paying attention at all as Rafe pushed you inside his room, locking the door with a sigh. “What do you wanna watch?”He asked,falling on the bed next to you, grabbing the tv remote.
You shrugged,wrapping an arm around him with your head against his chest. “Doesnt matter.”You replied, watching as he picked a random horror movie,knowing that hed probably end up squealing and holding onto you.Your phone dinged, vibrating against your thigh.
You sighed,picking it up to check what someone could want or why they were trying to talk to you.It was a text from Kie, asking why the hell you were at Rafe Cameron’s house.There was no way in hell she actually knew that, she was probably just guessing.You sat up,taking Rafe with you, his chin on your shoulder and a frown on his face.
You:????
Kie:Your snap map is on.What are you doing with Rafe?
You:Im not with Rafe
Kie:Seriously like are you ok
You:Im fine lol
Kie:But why are you with Rafe?
You sighed,turning to look at the kook king. “What should I tell her?”You asked, unsure what to do.If you told her that you in Rafe were dating then she would obviously tell John.B and that meant that you would be in deep shit and would never hear the end of it.He sighed,kissing your shoulder lightly.
 “I dunno, baby.Tell her whatever you feel comfortable telling her.”That wasnt really helpful.You couldnt exactly lie to her.There was no other reason that you’d be at the Cameron’s mansion if it werent for Rafe.You hated Sarah because Kiara hated Sarah so you couldnt exactly use that excuse either.You were anxious the whole time you typed, praying that she wouldnt tell the others.
You:Can you keep a secret?
Kie:Yeah
You:What would you do if I told you I was dating Rafe?
Kie:You dumb idiot
Kie:Rafe??Really?Out of all people?
Kie:Hoe you could do better
Kie:So like youre cool with him hitting JJ and Pope?
Kie:Shit you need to tell JJ
You sighed,biting the inside of your cheek. “Why do you need to tell JJ?”Rafe asked,curious.You groaned,leaning against him. “He’s got a thing for me.”You explained, hoping you hadnt made him feel insecure.
You:He’s nice to me,ok?Plus he hasnt beat anyone in months and im happy and I just need you to not say anything
You waited for an answer, only seeing a ‘read’ receipt. “Shit.”You sighed, realizing that you had probably made the wrong decision by telling her about your relationship. “What?”He asked, not understanding exactly what had happened. 
“Watch her tell everyone.”You tossed your phone down onto the blanket, laying on top of your boyfriend. “It wouldnt be so bad,would it?”He asked, knowing that you were probably embarrassed to be with him. “I just...you know how they feel about you.”you reminded him, hearing him sigh. 
“I know.”He replied as he rubbed small circles along your stomach. “Im trying to change though.”He muttered, pressing a kiss to your neck.You nodded, understanding. “I know you are but they dont.”You grumbled,your leg resting at his hip as he continued leaving kisses down your neck.
You didnt leave until four in the morning, staying up with him the whole night.Ward and Rose had gone out on a date, leaving the two of you with his house to yourselves.You sat on the kitchen counter,your legs around his waist as you shared a pint of icecream.
 “This is the expensive kind.”You noticed,coming across brownie chunks and bits of chocolate truffle.He smiled, nodding. “Yep, its just kook life I guess.”He replied, not really caring. “This shit is like...ten dollars a pint.”He only laughed, not understanding how you hadnt grown up with the same things he had.
He just couldnt wrap his head around the fact that not everyone was like him.You couldnt exactly blame him, he had been isolated most of his childhood and if he wasnt by himself he was surrounded by kooks. 
“You can go to the grocery store with me next week if you want.We can get all the expensive icecream you want...maybe we can get some for John.B too, you know, to win him over.”He explained his idea.You shrugged, not sure how to feel. 
“You dont even do your own grocery shopping, remember?”You asked, seeing him roll his eyes. “I’ll go grocery shopping for you, baby.We can get cookie dough and mix it into brownie batter.”He continued,scooping another spoonful of icecream.You bit the inside of your cheek, thinking about it.It sounded fun but most grocery stores wouldnt be open at the times you were with Rafe.
“I gotta go, i’ll see you tomorrow though.”You promised,kissing him quickly.He backed away to let you slide off the counter, putting your phone in your pocket. He tugged at your t shirt, bringing you close to him so he could place a kiss on your lips, enjoying the feeling that he knew he wouldnt feel for a day at least.
He knew that the second you left his happiness would leave with you, making his mood a bit dull as he hugged you.“Do you want icecream to go?”He offered.You were quick to shake your head, leaving quick so you could get home.He pouted, wishing you two could be together more often.
You tip toed into the house,turning on your bedroom light only to see The Pogues all sitting in there, staring at the door. “Rafe Cameron?”John.B asked, sitting up on your bed.You sighed, sitting down. 
“Really,Kie?”You asked, looking over to the brunette. “JJ took my phone!”She exclaimed, making your eyes travel to JJ. “Are you serious?”You asked the blonde, noticing him pouting. 
“I thought he should know.”He muttered.Pope just seemed mad. “How long has this been going on?”Your brother asked, glaring at you. “Im not doing this right now.”You shook your head, going to leave the room when he grabbed your wrist.
 “(Y/N).What would dad think?”He asked.You scoffed, unable to believe that he went there. “Dad would want me to be happy, unlike you.He hasnt bothered you guys in months!Cant you see that he’s changed?”You asked,all of them avoiding eye contact.
 “No!People like Rafe Cameron cant change, (Y/N)!Do you think he actually likes you?”John.B asked, regretting it the second it left his lips. “Oh, fuck you!”You exclaimed, leaving the room and slamming the door behind you. 
“What the hell, John.B?”Kiara shouted, angry with her friend. “I didnt mean it like that!Lets give her a minute to cool off.”John.B grumbled, feeling JJ and Pope glaring at him.
 “What the fuck is wrong with you?”Pope asked, just as angry as JJ.John.B just sat, listening to their cursing and anger. “I didnt mean it!”John.B shouted eventually, tired of their yelling.JJ shook his head, going to find you.
You werent in the bathroom or living room, leading him to think that maybe you had left until he looked out the kitchen window.He saw you in the hammock, leaving the house with a slam of the screen door and going to lay down next to you. 
“What do you want?”You asked, not looking at the blonde. “Does he really make you happy?”JJ asked,waiting patiently for your answer.You nodded, turning to look at him. “Very much, yeah.”You answered,seeing a grin on his face. 
“So then why does it matter what we think?I mean, im definitely the better choice here but if he makes you happy then go for it.”He chuckled, looking over to the house. “John.B is mad.”You muttered, wrapping your arms around JJ’s torso as the sun began to come up.
 “He’s always mad, doesnt matter.If he can hook up with girls all the time I dont see why you cant have a healthy, loving relationship.It seems dumb to me.”He shrugged.You laughed quietly, not understanding when JJ became a life coach. 
“Yeah, I agree.I just dont want him to be mad at me, you know?Its not like if he’s mad at you, you can just leave the house but I cant.Im stuck with that bitch all the time.”You ranted, earning a small laugh from him. 
“Yeah, true.I think you should just live your life how you want to live it.If you want to be with Rafe then be with Rafe.Personally im not a fan of him but that doesnt mean I can just control your relationships.I mean, youre right.He hasnt really bothered us in months and I havent seen him around The Cut looking for trouble so maybe he has changed.As long as its healthy and everything is consensual.Everything is consensual,right?”He asked, looking down at you.
You hadnt really seen this side of JJ before, usually only seeing his flirty and joking side. “Of course.”You replied, flicking his stomach. “Right, so thats good.If John.B’s mad then that sucks but there’s nothing you can do about it.”He sighed, staring up at the sky through the tree branches. 
“Are you mad?”You asked, curious for his answer.He bit his lip, thinking about it. “No, not really.I just cant believe you like him of all people.”He chuckled, feeling you flick his head. “I didnt like him at first, it kinda just happened.”You replied.JJ nodded, not saying anything else.
You fell asleep in the hammock next to JJ,waking up at noon.There was a note on the kitchen table saying that they had all decided to go out on the boat for the day and that there was pepsi and yogurt in the fridge.You could tell by the handwriting that Pope had written it, everyone else had probably forgot about you.
At eight the next night things werent as tense as they had been before.John.B had even driven you to Rafe’s house, ranting about safe sex and telling you to give Rafe a slice of ‘humble pie’.You rolled your eyes,getting out of the van and telling him to fuck off before walking up to Rafe’s front door, knocking lightly.
He told you that you didnt have to climb through his window anymore.Since you had to tell the pogues about your relationship he had decided to tell his family about it as well which meant he didnt have to hide you anymore.
John.B watched from the van as Rafe embraced you in a hug, smile on his face as he kissed your forehead.He had never seen Rafe look like that, the only smile he’d ever seen on Rafe Cameron was the kind that belonged to an angry sociopath.
But now he kind of just looked like a squishy, smiling gremlin.You and Rafe stood in the doorway for a moment, talking about how things had gone with John.B.Rafe had noticed the van sitll in the driveway, sending a quick and awkward brave towards your brother.A grin came across John.B’s face as he backed out of the driveway.Maybe you dating the Kook King wasnt as terrible as he thought.
@sexytholland​ @28cnn​  @popcrone818​ @fttayla​ @cherryobx​ @n1ghtsh4d3-67​ @drewstarkeyobx​ @poguestyleskye​ @judayyyw​ @jjtheangel​ @jj-iz-bae​
@sunwardsss @meaganjm​  @sarcasticsagittarius1998​ @natalie-kate-98​ @nxsmss​ @broken-jj​ @joshy-obx​ @prejudic3​ @outerbongs​  @copper-boom​  @httpstarkey​ @teenwaywardasgardian @drewswannabegirl​  @simonsbluee   @jiaraendgame  @khiaraaa-in-spacee​  @on-socks-off​  @abbiesthings​ @kindahavefeelingskindaheartless
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jeonmagines · 4 years
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RED HEARTS | 10 | “u right he sexy”
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jungkook x reader
genere: crack, fluff, angst
summary: you draw hearts on your soulmate’s face everyday just to annoy him.
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MY SIDE COMMENTS HAVE PARENTHESES I LIKE TO JUDGE MYSELF WHILE WRITING
“who ya texting?” jungkook asked as he got up to sit REALLY close to you. “oh nobody. just my mom haha” you said as you avoided eye contact. the silence in the bus was LOUD and very awkward but then he takes your hand and plays with it. “what are you doing?” you ask while staring at him like 👁👄👁. your heart was beating rapidly and you felt like the whole bus could hear it. “i like playing with people’s hands. don’t get the wrong idea. i do this to everyone.” you laugh at his response and just let him do whatever he was doing with your hand. on the other side of the bus you noticed jinah glaring at you but as soon as you made eye contact she looked away. “maybe you shouldn’t do that. your girlfriend’s looking.” you say as you move your hand away. “what? jinah? she’s not my girlfriend.” he says, intertwining your hands again.
jeon jungkook STOP PLAYING WITH MY FEELINGS
after two long hours, you finally arrived to the lake. you were growing tired so you ended up sleeping and resting your head against jungkook’s while your hands were still intertwined. (ugh just date already). “y/n, wake up we’re here.” chu says as she taps your should a couple of times. “thank you chu.” she smiles and heads down the bus. “jungkook, wake up we’re here.” you say as you shake his sleeping figure a little bit. “already? ugh but i liked our position.” he said while smirking. “uh. you’re weird. now get up the bus driver is only waiting for us.” you both grab your bags and apologize to the driver for waiting for the two of you to get your shit together.
“y/n, be roomies with me and areum.” jinah says as she interlocks her arm with your. jungkook noticed how uncomfortable you looked and he tried to come near you but jinah quickly pulled you away. when you got to your cabin, you stretched your arm because DAMN that girl’s grip was strong. “so y/n..me, areum, and a couple of the girls in our class are gonna try to have a little fun and look for the ghost at cabin 38. you in?” gGggHost?? 👁👄👁 you slightly tilted your head because who does she think she IS . “ehhh....i uhhhh. not really uh um a fan of ghosts haha.” you say as you scratch the back of your neck. “oh come on! it’ll be fun! plus we’ll be there with you.” she says with a big smile. you agreed because u ain’t no puss 😼 (peer pressure 😢 poor y/n)
“yo kook. we heard the girls are gonna go look for that ghost. you down to scare them?” jackson says as he puts his arm around jungkook’s neck. “it’s 2am i’m TIRED.” he says removing his arm about to get into bed, but jackson yanks his arm. “nOpe you’re not lets go.”
“guys! uh.. where’d you go.” it was all fun and games until you couldn’t find the girls you went with. you should have never let go of areum’s arm. “guys??? where are you?? please...” this is it you thought. this is where it ends ︶👄︶ goodbye everyone. no but fr. your vision was starting to get blurry from the tears threatening to fall from your eyes. “gUys???please i’m...im scared.” you looked around you but everything was dark and all you heard were your shoes stepping on the dead leaves. ( ahaha 😼)
you were about to just run wherever but you ain’t no dumb bitch 😼. you reached for your phone in your pocket and texted jungkook.
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being scared was an understatement. at this point you were about to pee yourself, but you heard a voice call your name. “y/n?? where are you?” you recognized the voice and immediately yelled for him. “kook!! i’m here.” he followed the sound of your voice and finally got to you. you were relieved so you hugged him as tight as you possibly could. “thank you.” you said in between your sniffles. you hated that. you hated being alone ESPECIALLY in the dark. “why are you here alone huh?” he says as he looks into your eyes. “because jinah.” you say putting your head against his chest again. “fuck.” he mutters. you finally let go and he takes of his jacket putting it on you. “i already have one on though.” you laugh at his soft action towards you. “no i don’t care. lets go.” he says wrapping his arm around you.
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you were nice so when you got to your cabin you didn’t slap jinah since she was sleeping. you decided to wait until she woke up the next day.
“jinah.” you walk up behind her as she’s fixing her hair. “yes y/n.” she says with a smirk. “why did you leave me last night? i trusted you! i could’ve gotten hurt! i thought we were cool.” she rolls her eyes and slams her brush down on the counter. “we were never cool y/n. jungkook liked me! but then you came along and ruined what we had!” she yelled at your face but you moved back. weren’t you the one who was supposed to be mad??? (oh have the turns have tabled 😡)
“what are you talking about? jungkook said he felt nothing towards you?” you were confused because jungkook made it pretty clear that he wasn’t interested in anybody else. (unless he was 😳) “ask him yourself.” she scoffs before pushing by you.
you were canoeing with jungkook who you DIDNT want to be partners with since he was probably just playing with your feelings. “y/n why aren’t you talking to me?” you continue paddling, ignoring him and not making eye contact. “jungkook, row the right way!” you yell because he was cLEARLY doing this to get your attention. “jungkook!” yOU YELP as you both fall into the water. “uGh iCANT SWIM.” you grabbed onto the canoe but your hands just kept slipping. the other students watched and tried to help you but y’all were just....struggling struggling. “uGh JUNGKOOK!! what’s wRONG WITH YOU!!!” you grab onto his back and he swims to your teacher’s canoe. he lifts you up and then himself. “i hate you so much.” you say as u roll ur eyes at him.
“y/n! please just talk to me!” you speed walk towards your cabin, footsteps squeaking every time you took a step. “what?!” you say finally turning around. “what did i do?” he was actually really confused he thought you liked him. “stop playing with my feelings! if you like jinah then go be with her! you make it seem as if you like me back but you just... UGH.” you glare at him and turn back around to get dried up in your cabin.
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today you were FINALLY going home. you placed your bags under the bus and quickly got inside so that you got the window seat. you sat down and jungkook sat right next to you. “move.” you say looking out the window. “no. not until you forgive me. i’m sorry okay? i never meant to upset you. what i did was really shitty. you deserve so much better. i don’t care if you don’t want anything to do with me but i just want you to know that i...i like you.” he confessed. your eyes widen and you turn towards him. “i like you too jungkook...but we shouldn’t rush. i’m not sure what i want yet.” he nods and scoots over closer to you.
TAGS: @taeissoadorable @c-cr @littlewolfieposts @aestheticsluut @complicatedjules @ayasanuwu @lil-bai-of-sunshine @my-suga-kookies @rockerchic93 @t-toodumbtocare @withlovestudyblr @seabasschino @dru-shadow @letmebeyour-sun @ladyartemesia @squidyelmosquidbutt @supersoldierfreak @anna-in-purple @bangtansleftnut @jungshookmeup @mangoisawesome @ayoo-bangtan @cypheruby @yuusilverscar @spookidema @depressed-dude20 @fandomstogetherweunite @brattykpoc @tallsunflower @nochujjk97 @m0chilattae @nctssidehoe @bringitseijoh @richkookie @gaburen @saroonga @llovekoya @ladybeautiful18 @writersparaphrenalia @xxxanimangxxx @rjsmochii @just-call-me-trash-can @mystic-jungkook @competativekook @tae165 @rosita7703 @gyubots @xxxanimangxxx @na-na-nakita @doilooklikeinoe
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mischiefandi · 4 years
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A Shitty Love Song (Part 1) - Stiles Stilinski
Wild Ones
A/N: hey everyone! this has been a long time coming! thank you for lovely comments on my previous post, im super happy to finally be posting this. a HUGE thank you to @duskholland​ for helping me out so much with this series, ily to death bitch. enjoyy yall
Summary: Y/N is a 17 year old girl who struggles in an epic battle against herself. Whether it is amor’s icy grasp or life’s unexpected course that forces her to finally open up, only one thing is certain. The truth cannot be long hidden.
Warnings: underage drinking, party times, maybe a couple of swear words but im not sure haha
Word Count: 5,3K
Pairing: Stiles Stilinski x Reader (Y/N)
Series Masterlist
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(picture is not mine -> credits to @ pechka on unsplash)
Seasons before, in the early fall where the leaves don’t yet want to leave their wooden hooks, Y/N had just started her junior year of high school. Being the new girl in school, she was afraid of being alone - something she had always been - but not this year. Whether it was chance or fate, she happened to fall upon a curious but wonderful group of people who quickly became her friends.  
At its center, Scott McCall, young lacrosse player with a boyish charm and a heart of gold and by his side, Stiles Stilinski, an eccentric and spirited young man. Surrounding them were Lydia Martin, the fiery and confident genius, the sweet yet lethal huntress, Allison Argent, and finally Isaac Lahey, charming Mr Mischief himself.
This pack of wild cards had found a new companion, and Y/N fit in like a puzzle piece filling in its designated spot. She got along with everyone in the group, forming indestructible friendships with these eccentric teenagers, and she felt fortunate beyond belief. More often than not, she would eat with them by the walnut tree outside of the school. The group would share stories and food, complaining about the soporific lessons from the earlier period, or excitedly planning the next outing, the next party. Every week, the teenagers would go hang out in the woods by the mystical ruins of the Hale House, doing more of the same. Life was light and good.
The group had planned on hanging out by the Hale House one quiet September afternoon, but the universe likes to play tricks, and somehow Y/N and Stiles were the only ones to show up. Deeming it a happy accident, the pair walked through the damp woods together, talking about their day and slowly letting each other in. Laughter echoed between the trees and the wind turned.
🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙
A little more than a month had gone by and Halloween was just around the corner. Classes seemed longer than usual, bigger stacks of schoolwork forming daunting piles on Y/N’s desk. But school was the last thing she could think of when she got home after a long day of concentration. The only thing that mattered, was Stiles. Video calls, phone calls, and late night texts that seemed to never cease took over the second Y/N’s feet passed the threshold of her home. And nothing compared to these conversations.
“I’m sorry but no.”
“Stiles, stop, seriously.”
The mole-speckled boy lunged forward in front of the screen and passed a shaking hand through his spiky hair.
“There is no way you like the second trilogy better than the first one. It’s just not possible.”
“Well it is possible, because I do,” Y/N retorted, her unfazed expression gleaming back at him.
“Literally how? The group dynamic alone should make you see reason. I mean come on. Han and Leia? Han and Chewie? Han and Luke?”
“You do know Star Wars doesn’t exclusively revolve around Han Solo right?” she asked, her lips breaking into a smirk.
“First of all, no. Second, give me one single reason why the second trilogy is better than the first,” Stiles said, “I dare you.”
“One reason?”
The boy nodded, serious as a statue.
“Hayden Christensen.”
Stiles groaned deeply, his face buried in his large hands.
“Can’t even have a serious discussion about Star Wars with someone rational.”
“I’m not sorry.”
“You’re the worst.”
Y/N paused, holding a finger to her chin.
“Hmm, agree to disagree.”
“Son of a bitch.”
“Hey! How can we have an intelligent debate about anything if you use swearing as a last resort.”
“I have given up on us. It’s over.”
Y/N laughed profusely against her pillow, shaking her head.
“You’re a drama queen.”
“FRIENDSHIP OVER!” Stiles bellowed and Y/N shot her head back, unstoppable laughter erupting from her stomach.
“It’s going to make things awkward at the party, Friday,” Y/N said between chuckles, her laughter quieting down.
“Who said you were even invited,” replied Stiles, adjusting his shirt, revealing a tiny patch of skin just above his sweats. Y/N’s eyes flicked over to the screen but the second had passed.
“Funny. Listen, I gotta get some sleep otherwise I’ll pass out in math or something.”
“Yeah, I should probably also go to bed sometime soon.”
“Hopefully before tomorrow morning.”
“Har-har,” said Stiles, smiling at the camera, his chocolatey irises beaming at Y/N.
“Goodnight nerd.”
“Goodnight loser.”
Y/N stuck out her tongue at Stiles before hanging up the call.
That night, as she carefully brushed her teeth and got her clothes ready for the next day, Y/N thought back on her video call with Stiles, a warm smile spreading on her lips.
🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙
The week passed so slowly, each hour lasting an exhausting eternity. School, demanding as ever, while keeping Y/N busy, was the reason why time seemed so lengthy. The nasty side-effect from tantalizing hours is the amount of thinking you do to keep busy. So Y/N did just that. She thought about how much she cared for her group of friends, she thought about the fact that she had never felt like she belonged like she did then.
She thought about how nice it was sitting by the Hale House, enjoying each others’ company, how life is so much lighter when you feel surrounded, how much she had learned about herself after meeting the pack. She thought about the band Stiles and her liked so much. She thought about Star Wars. She thought about the sound her computer made when Stiles sent her a message. She thought of his hair, his moles, his neck. She thought about how thrilling it was when he sat next to her. She thought about how much he mattered in her life, just like the others mattered too.
Y/N did so much thinking that week. But the funny thing is, amor has a way of tricking your mind. Your body believes one thing but your mind has been bewitched, and no amount of thinking you do can remove the fog clouding over your eyes. 
When came Friday, Y/N was happy to be done with school, bursting through the doors of the establishment, excited to go home and get ready for Danny’s Blackout Party. She was thrilled about going, however nervous she felt. 
She had never been to a party like Danny’s rave before and she had no idea what to expect. But more importantly, she was afraid of crowds. She had tried going out to packed bars with people from her old school, but the chaos and the drunks surrounding her made her feel beyond uneasy. 
“Y/N! Wait up!” She heard Allison exclaim, and she slowed down her pace, allowing the brunette to catch up with her.
“Are you excited for tonight?” asked Allison, her light brown eyes gleaming brightly.
“Yeah, it’s gonna be...crazy.”
“You okay?”
Y/N forced a smile and nodded overenthusiastically.
“Yeah! Just tired. It was a long day,” she replied.
“Same here, which is why, we need to let loose tonight! Let’s get ready at Lydia’s, so we can all head over there together.”
“Sure. Quick question though, how did Lydia get us invited in the first place?”
Allison giggled, nodding her head towards Aiden and Ethan standing by their motorcycles.
“How do you think?”
The girl’s laughter echoed through the cool autumn air and disappeared with their cars. It was going to be a night to remember.
🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙
As Y/N and Allison reached Lydia’s house, Y/N couldn’t help but feel more and more anxious, tightly gripping her bag filled with clothes and makeup. The party was starting to worry her.
People had been whispering about it all day back at the high school, talking about the numerous illicit drinks that would be served and the intriguing entertainment. It seemed like the Danny had gone all out for Halloween. Still, not knowing exactly what to expect practically terrified Y/N. 
She was outgoing, but big crowds and chaos were things that made panic bubble up inside of her very core, quickening her heartbeat to a frightening extent. She loved dancing and partying, and much like other people her age, she loved a good drink every once in a while, but huge events and big blowouts, she had never been a fan of.
Putting on a brave face, Y/N shut the car door and walked up the stairs to Lydia’s front porch, ringing the doorbell as Allison locked the car. After what seemed like mere seconds, Lydia opened the door, letting the excited girls in.
“Finally. I thought I was going to have to get going without you,” she said, smirking at the pair.
“Y/N couldn’t decide what to wear,” replied Allison, sending Y/N a look that made Lydia scoff.
“Excuse me if I've never been to a neon-themed rave. How am I supposed to know what to wear?”
“Well the name of said rave could be a pretty good indicator,” mocked Lydia as the girls walked up to her bedroom, shutting the door behind them.
“Ali, what are you wearing?”
Allison giggled with a smirk and did a demonstrative twirl, showing off her burgundy flannel shirt and black jeans.
“This!”
Lydia raised her eyebrows at the brunette, a confused expression etched on her face.
“Am I the only one here who understands the term “neon”?” she asked.
Allison shook her head then slowly unbuttoned her shirt, revealing a neon pink bra.
Y/N laughed, shaking her head. This stunt was definitely orchestrated for someone special.
“Wow. Isaac will love it.”
“It’s about time you two did something about your situation,” joked Lydia, reaching for an eyelash curler.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” replied Allison with an innocent shrug and a slightly less innocent wink.
“Well now that Allison’s outfit is sorted, it’s your turn, Y/N. Let’s see what’s in this enormous bag of yours.”
The strawberry blonde bent down and grabbed Y/N’s bag before she could say anything, emptying its contents in a flash.
“No, no, definitely not, no…Y/N, why are all of these clothes black?” inquired Lydia, with a look of disgust she had difficulty hiding.
“Lyds, I told you, I don’t know what to wear to a rave.”
“Show me your bra.”
“What?”
“Show me your bra. If it’s the right colour, we can just pair it with some of my clothes.”
Y/N reluctantly removed her white shirt, revealing an electric blue floral lace bra, much to Lydia’s delight. Allison whistled approvingly.
“Okay here’s what we’re gonna do.” Lydia walked over to her closet, carefully studying its contents. Allison and Y/N exchanged a glance as Lydia clapped her hands together.
“This goes with this, and you have to tuck it in, like so,” she said, “okay, try this on. Now.”
Y/N looked down at the outfit her friend had put together.
“Yes ma’am,” she mumbled, her face as white as a sheet.
Y/N walked to the corner of the room as the girls chatted and finished getting ready. Her heart thundered as she passed her neck through the bottom of the sheer black top Lydia had handed to her. Looking herself in the mirror, all she could see was a blushing dishevelled mess. Her bra covered most of her chest, but the curves of her breasts were only slightly hidden by the black mesh material she was wearing.
“Okay, this is okay…” she muttered to herself, trying not to panic.
Bending down, she grabbed the black layered skirt she had brought with her and brought it up to her hips, tucking the top inside. The skirt helped balance out the outfit, but still Y/N wasn’t fully convinced.
“How are you feeling?”
“Kind of nervous honestly.”
“I meant how do you feel about the outfit- but you’re nervous? Why?” asked Lydia, walking over to Y/N in front of the full-length mirror.
“It’s just- I’ve never been to a big party like tonight, much less looking like…this,” Y/N reluctantly replied.
Lydia bit her lip and sucked in some air before smiling widely at Y/N and taking a step forward.
“By “looking like this” I hope you mean by looking incredible. Y/N, look at yourself. You’re tall and confident, the outfit looks amazing on you. Your look is not the problem,” she said, gently.
“Then what is?”
“You tell us,” replied Allison, walking over to the girls by the mirror.
Y/N exhaled deeply and turned around to face her friends.
“I hate crowds. I love partying don’t get me wrong, I just- I get really really panicky around big crowds of people. The noise, the warmth, all of it, just terrifies me. I’m worried that I’ll hate it and freak out or something. I’m sorry, I probably should have said something before.”
As soon as the daunting words had slipped through her lips, Y/N felt a weight lift from her weary shoulders, a wave of relief passing over her entire body.
“Hey, it’s okay. Everyone’s got something they’re uncomfortable with. It’s nothing to be ashamed of,” said Allison, sweetly.
“I know, it’s not that I’m ashamed, I just- didn’t wanna be a downer. I really am excited for tonight! I’m just nervous.”
Lydia placed her hands on Y/N’s shoulders and smiled brightly.
“Look, you’re gorgeous right now. Even without my help, you’re gorgeous. And tonight, we’ll be around the whole time. If you feel freaked out or you start to panic, we’ll go outside and get some fresh air. We don’t mind.”
“Exactly, we’re your friends. You know you can depend on us on occasion,” Allison joked and Y/N laughed, shaking her head timidly.
“Seriously, Y/N, we’re gonna have a ton of fun tonight. And if you need anything, whatsoever, we’re both here,” added Lydia.
Y/N’s heart swelled and she felt her eyes filling slowly. Blinking the impending tears away, she smiled widely, her radiant eyes following suite.
“Thank you, both of you. You’re the best.”
“Agreed. Now, that’s sorted. Are you comfortable with the outfit?” asked Lydia.
Y/N looked at herself in the mirror, analyzing every detail of her figure, taking in how “out there” the outfit was. After a few seconds, she nodded to herself and smiled.
“You know what? You only live once.”
Allison giggled and rested her arms on Y/N’s shoulder.
“Tonight is going to be amazing!”
🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙
As Lydia’s car pulled into the parking lot in front of the venue - a large concrete building comparable to a construction site - Y/N sent a text to her friend.
Y/N: we just got to danny’s party
Y/N: u guys here?
The girls looked up at the windows on the top level, the neon lights shining through catching their attention, the music already reaching their ears.
The group excitedly entered the building, Y/N’s heart thundering against her ribcage. Allison noticed the worried look on her friend’s face and she slipped her hand in hers, sending her a warm smile. Y/N took a deep breath, and the three beautiful girls went into the otherwise empty elevator. On the way up, Y/N’s phone vibrated against her palm and she looked down at the screen.
Stiles: we aren’t there yet
Stiles: Scott needed to go get something
Y/N’s heart couldn’t help but sink a little. She had hoped the boys were going to be there already, though why, she couldn’t say. Her phone interrupted her thoughts again.
Scott: by smth, Stiles means someone
Scott: and by someone, he means Kira
Scott: also we’re late because of the jeep
Scott: ;)
Y/N chuckled and texted him back, Lydia and Allison sharing an inquisitive look.
Y/N: figures :))
“Who is that?” asked Allison as the elevator doors opened.
Y/N winced slightly and turned to Allison.
“It’s the boys. Scott was just telling me they picked up Kira…”
“Oh.”
Lydia looked from Allison to Y/N, and back, the awkwardness beyond tangible.
“Are you okay?” asked Y/N, worried that the news had killed the mood.
“Honestly? I don’t love the idea of partying with my ex and his new girlfriend, but we broke up three months ago. We’ve both moved on. Besides, I really like Isaac. I’m not gonna let this ruin my evening,” Allison answered, a soft smile on her lips.
“Allison has Isaac, Scott has Kira, Stiles- well I don’t know about Stiles. That leaves you and me, Y/N. You can help me avoid Aiden tonight,” said Lydia, straightening her dress.
“Aiden, as in, the guy you hooked up with who just so happens to be the guy who invited you to this rave?”
“Precisely.” Lydia walked away hurriedly, and the girls laughed, entering the venue.
The grey concrete in the hall was uncharacteristically bland compared to the other-worldly burst of colours inside of the venue. Neon blue, pink, orange, yellow, and green exploding in every direction, paired with blaring purple lights attached to the concrete beams above the dancefloor where what looked like at least 70 people were jumping up and down to the beat of Losing It by FISHER. Strands of white UV tubes hanging from the ceiling all around the dancefloor lit up every white item of clothing in the room, turning the pure colour into a bright purple.
This giant nebula of chaos and colour made Y/N’s blood pump ten times faster throughout her body. That or the the bass blasting through the giant speakers by the DJ. Either way, the thrill of it made Y/N shiver, her whole body completely frozen in place. 
“This is crazy!” Allison gasped.
“Danny really went all out,” said Lydia, staring at the dancing figures in the center of the room.
Y/N’s phone buzzing woke her from her trance and she read the text.
Stiles: be there in about 20 minutes
Stiles: can’t wait to embarrass you on the dancefloor
Y/N: oof
“Let’s go get a drink,” Lydia urged, walking over to the large snack table with numerous bottles. Y/N read the labels and nodded, impressed by the wide range of drinks.
“Wow. Jack Daniels, vodka, a shitton of beer, wine coolers, rum, Jagermeister…Danny really did go all out.”
“Pass me a cup,” said Allison.
As the girls filled their glasses, Lydia eyed Y/N’s cup.
“Y/N, are you sure you want to start with a triple shot of vodka?”
“Yeah, it’s fine!” Y/N exclaimed, downing the drink before anyone could stop her and gasping as the strong liquid burned its way down her throat.
“Ohkay, take it easy,” said Allison, shooting a worried glance at Lydia.
“I’ve got it under control,” replied Y/N as she refilled her cup.
“Let’s go dance!”
Allison dragged the girls away from the table, walking over to the dancefloor. Y/N downed her second drink and nodded wearily.
“Yesss, let’s do this!”
The looming herd of party-goers, intimidating as it was, seemed a little less daunting now that Y/N was actually at the party.
“How bad could it be?” she thought to herself before treading through the mass, occasionally bumping against people energetically throwing their limbs around.
In the middle of the chaos, Allison stopped and started moving her hips in sync with the song, Lydia quickly following suit. Y/N bobbed her head along to the beat of the bass, her arms swinging awkwardly on either side of her body. Allison laughed and grabbed her friend’s arms forcing the movement to flow through Y/N’s limbs. Lydia busted up and down, moving her waist so naturally it seemed like she had been born for this very moment.
Closing her eyes, Y/N tried to focus on the music vibrating throughout her body, the memory of the colours surrounding her floating behind her eyelids. Allison sang along with the lyrics of the current song, shouting out the words as she moved from side to side. Y/N slowly started to lose herself to the music, letting go of her inhibitions, forgetting the world around her.
When the beat changed, her feet jumped up and down, as if they had a mind of their own. Her head felt heavy yet no thoughts crossed her mind. The music had gotten rid of all concentration, the only thing left was the bass flowing through her veins, making her entire body pulsate to the beat.
Beads of sweat trickled down Y/N’s neck as she kept dancing, her feet starting to ache with every jump. It had only been about fifteen minutes, but to the dancers, it seemed like a wonderful eternity. Finally, Lydia tapped on Y/N’s shoulder and shouted by her ear.
“Let’s do some body painting!”
Y/N nodded profusely, a wide smile on her lips.
“Ali went to dance with Isaac!” Lydia shouted as the pair pushed through the crowd.
“Where’s the paint?” shouted Y/N, trying to hear her own voice over the music and failing miserably.
“Over there!”
A tall blonde boy holding brushes with purple and pink tips smiled as the girls reached him, his charismatic grin turning Y/N’s cheeks bright red.
“What can I do for you ladies?” he asked, his pearly white teeth a bright purple as his grin widened.
“My friend over here needs a lot of paint. Emphasis on lot,”Lydia insisted.
Y/N shook her head, giggling stupidly.
“Not too much paint,” she said warmly.
The boy smiled with a wink.
“Let me worry about that.”
Y/N removed her mesh top, holding it with her right hand, patiently waiting for the boy to start painting across her chest and back. She shivered as she felt the cool wet tip of the brush meet her sweaty skin, sliding a few inches down, a thick stripe of paint spreading across her back. Y/N giggled at the cold feeling, the alcohol in her system reaching her head. She closed her eyes and bent her neck to the side as the boy continued his line up to her collarbone.
“What’s your name?” she heard him ask.
“What’s yours?” she chose to answer, smiling wickedly.
She heard him laugh as he started painting little dots up her back.
“Jeremy.”
“Nice to meet you, Jeremy.”
“You know most girls like a proper introduction before getting this close,” he said over the pulsating music, his breath fanning over Y/N’s neck as he painted small strokes down her shoulder. Y/N grinned mischievously.
“I’m not like most girls,” she teased as she turned to face him.
“No, I guess you’re not,” the boy replied, his eyes darting towards her lips and back up.
“I’m almost done with your body- I mean with the paint,” he said, shaking his head with a grin. Y/N giggled and stepped closer.
“I’m all yours…” she replied.
Jeremy’s deep blue eyes lingered on hers before focusing on her chest. Y/N thanked the universe that he wasn’t looking straight at her, otherwise he would have seen her cheeks fill with red for the second time. He delicately placed pink and orange dots up and down her chest, careful as to not stain her bra and she watched him, observing his concentration with admiration. Finally, he looked up, smiling at her.
“My masterpiece is done,” he declared, placing the paintbrush on the body paint stand.
Jeremy reached for a mirror and handed it to her. She admired the strands and dots painted across her body in a chaotic waltz, the hot purple and pink clashing against her skin. Looking up at him, she grinned widely.
“You’re talented,” she said.
“It’s easier when you have such a good canvas to work on…” he replied, sending her a look hot enough to melt her.
Momentarily remembering the outside world, she looked around and quickly realized Lydia wasn’t there anymore, probably off dancing or looking for Allison. Y/N turned back to Jeremy.
“I’m sorry, I should probably go check on my friends…” she said, biting her lip as she slipped her mesh shirt back on.
“Of course. Maybe later, we’ll bump into each other on the dance floor?” he replied, a nervous smile etched on his lips.
“Yeah, maybe.”
Y/N winked at him and walked away, trying her best to keep her cool.
“Well that was something.” She thought to herself, a wide grin planted on her face.
Looking around, she couldn’t find either of her friends, nor could she find Isaac. Slightly disappointed, Y/N walked over to the table and poured some vodka in an unused cup before knocking her head back, letting the burning liquid run down her throat.
She eyed the dancefloor and thought back on her previous conversation with Jeremy. She was beyond nervous. She’d never actually kissed a boy before. The opportunity just hadn’t ever presented itself. But now that she was here, feeling tipsy as ever, a few feet away from the cutest boy at the party, she couldn’t help but think, why not?
Wiping her sweaty palms on her skirt and downing her fourth - albeit, strong - drink of the night, she nodded to herself and walked over to the dancefloor.
As Five Hours blasted through the speakers, Y/N pushed her way through the sweaty crowd once again, making her way to the center of the dancefloor. Ignoring the world surrounding her, she closed her eyes and gave in to the music, feeling every beat of the song pulsate throughout her entire body.
Colours, flashing lights, the feeling of people’s skin against hers, her head spinning and swaying in every direction, it made her feel alive. As the last drop of the song reached its peak, Y/N jumped with the crowd, knocking her body against complete strangers, feeling the warm and sticky air fill her lungs with every breath.
The song Too Much by Curbi started to play and Y/N felt someone’s body against hers. Closing her eyes, she turned around and felt a pair of strong arms wrap around her waist. She sighed lightly, enjoying the feeling of her skin against the boy’s. His fingers treaded down her back, firmly settling just above her ass, holding her steady in a sea of bustling bodies.
She danced against him, turning around again, her back facing his front. Moving against his body, she felt his arms tighten around her, pulling her in. His hot breath fanned over her neck and she moaned slightly, squeezing his hand reassuringly.
Suddenly, time seemed to stand still when his lips lightly touched her warm skin. Y/N inhaled sharply, her eyes still shut. The only thing she could hear now was the sound of her heartbeat furiously thundering against her ribcage. Slowly caressing the boy’s arm, she allowed further access to her neckline, moaning loudly as she felt his feverish lips plant warm kisses on her neck, inching higher and higher. Y/N’s hands reached for his and she tugged them closer to her body, her hips still moving against him. His lips danced furiously across her neck, leaving dangerously beautiful marks on her skin.
The music seemed only to heighten her senses. Her legs almost gave out when she heard the boy groan lightly against her ear, her response, a small whine at the loss of contact with his lips. She turned around and tried to open her eyes, the bright lights bursting through the gap in her eyelids. Squinting at his face, trying as hard as possible not to lose herself to the music again, Y/N’s eyes caught a glimpse of the boy’s face.
Bright pink dashes stained his cupid’s bow and the right corner of his bottom lip, the paint from her neck helpless in the face of a passion like this one. Y/N’s eyes scanned the rest of his face and widened slightly when they met amber irises, warm and inviting and so familiar. Her fingers threaded through his damp dark brown hair, her brain trying to comprehend what was about to happen.
His chocolatey eyes looked deep into hers and he licked his lips slowly, the world around them fading. Y/N felt her vision blur as she inched closer to him, her nose picking up the scent of old leather and pine trees and rain. His lips lingered over hers and she felt a chill as her name echoed through the air.
“Y/N…”.
Their lips connected in a frenzied blur, sending sparks of pleasure throughout Y/N’s entire body and the chaos surrounding the pair completely swallowed them. His teeth slightly bit her bottom lip and she deepened the kiss, ardently giving in to his deliciously demanding mouth. Unable to control her body, she steadied herself against him, tugging at his shirt with one hand, the other cupping his face as he sucked on her delectable lips.
Their bodies so unbelievably close disappeared in the crowd of dancers, the whole world somehow a thousand miles away.
Time, a forgotten concept.
A/N: I seriously hope u enjoyed this!! if u did please reblog :)) (would be super helpful especially with tumblr acting up w the tags and all that) <3 part 2 coming soon!!
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dinosaurtsukki · 4 years
Note
If the event is still on, prompt 134 + Kuroo and his best friend please? Bonus if it's a friends to lovers au thanks!
I LOVE FRIENDS TO LOVERS!! also this is definitely something kuroo would say!! also spoilers for the movie ‘Midsommar’ because i love it. 
Kuroo + 134
134.  “If I’m like 50 and still single, I’ll marry you because tax benefits.”
[to: rooster head :P]
hey so um the date didnt go so well so better get the ice cream out im 15 mins away
[from: rooster head :P]
awww shit i’m sorry y/n. dw my freezer is fULL
You opened the already unlocked door to Kuroo’s apartment and dumped your purse on the kitchen counter where your best friend was already busy scooping ice cream out into your favorite mugs.
“So, was it a catfish this time?” Kuroo asked, looking up at your tired face.
“I wish it was a catfish,” you rolled your eyes. “But no, he seemed like a pretty alright guy. I thought it was a pretty alright date and then when I asked if I was going to see him again, he was like ‘mmm no, I don’t think we’re right for each other.’”
You paused and sighed, running a hand through your hair which you had purposely done up for the night and now you couldn’t care less about. “I don’t even know what I did wrong this time.” Kuroo smiled sympathetically at you, knowing how excited and hopeful you were this morning, before pushing the mug of ice cream towards you. 
“Did you mention your weird obsession with horror movies again?” he asked, trying to lighten up the mood a little.
“No,” you pouted, digging your spoon down into the ice cream. It was your favorite flavor. Kuroo always had it in his freezer. 
“Well, even if you did, he’d be stupid to not consider a second date with you,” Kuroo said reassuringly, putting an arm around your shoulder. You instinctively leaned against him and sighed. At least you had a place and a friend to go to after all the shitty dates you’ve been through.
“Come on, we can watch Midsommar and imagine your ex being stuffed into a bear suit and set on fire,” Kuroo smiled down at you.
“Aww, I’d like that,” you smiled.
A few minutes later, you were lying in Kuroo’s bed wearing a sweatshirt from his closet and wiping off all the make-up you put on. Kuroo had the movie playing on his laptop that was propped up on a pillow between you. He had watched it a million times already, especially since it was pretty much your comfort zone after getting rejected. Even with half your make-up off and the other half left on your face still smeared, Kuroo couldn’t help but think about how beautiful you looked. 
Seeing your face always brought back memories of the first time you met back in high school and how he’d always notice you because you were late to class all the time. He had been your loyal best friend ever since you had your first boyfriend, who broke up with you right after graduation, and through your journey with dating new people. And as much as he tried to dodge the obvious, Kuroo had to admit that he had been in love with you for the longest times.
“Maybe I should, like, move to Finland and live with a cult,” you suddenly spoke. “That way I don’t die alone in my house full of horror movie CD’s.” 
“You wouldn’t last two days there. They all live in one house and you wouldn’t last a week from the lack of privacy,” Kuroo snickered, stealing some of your ice cream before you could swat his hand away. “Also, there’s no way you’re going to die alone.”
“Oh, yeah?” you looked at him with a slight pout on your lips. “Even if you get a super hot girlfriend, you still have to let me come here and eat ice cream.”
“Hey, I’m not even close to dating anyone yet,” Kuroo said. ‘Because none of them would be you,’ he thought.
“I bet you’d have it easy though. You have the looks, and you’re smart, and you’re funny, and you’re great at taking care of people,” you enumerated.
“Yeah, I sure do,” Kuroo nodded emphatically. 
“Shut up!” you nudged him while he laughed. 
“Nah, I’m not really... into anyone,” he smiled down at his ice cream. 
“Really? Well, if I’m like 50 and still single, I’ll marry you because tax benefits,” you grinned. Kuroo felt his ears redden at the word ‘marry.’
“Heh, why not?” he quirked his lips up. “We could still be together when we’re shriveled and old. And then we’ll have wheelchair races when we’re taken away to the residence home.”
You laughed and smacked his arm lightly. “I’d love that.” 
“Or maybe... we could get married after just being in a normal relationship,” Kuroo said quietly but just loud enough for you to hear. You slowly turned your head to look at him.
“Wait... do you mean...?”
“I, may have had feelings for you for a while now,” Kuroo exhaled deeply, keeping his eyes trained on watching the movie because he was so scared of seeing your reaction. “And I feel a bit stupid for saying it after all the shitty guys you’ve had to go through and your ex. But, I felt like our friendship was so great and I was so scared to ruin it. Also, I didn’t want you to feel pressured to date me just because I’m your friend.” With that, he finally turned to look at you and face the music.
“Kuroo,” you pursed your lips. All this time, you had also been in love with your best friend. You couldn’t tell when, but most likely during one of those times you had come over to his house after a date. It was a particularly bad day and you were actually sobbing into his chest while Kuroo mumbled reassuringly in your ear. You wondered if there was ever going to be someone who would ever care for you so deeply and stay despite your ups and downs, only to realize that he was right there all along. 
Only, you had also been scared of Kuroo not feeling the same way. You couldn’t afford to ruin the last good relationship you had and persisted through the cycles of dating.
“I’ve wanted to hear that for so long,” you laughed. 
“Wait, what?” Kuroo blinked at you in surprise. “You... you mean it?”
“Oh my god, we’re such idiots,” you smacked yourself in the forehead. “I... I had no idea. I could have just asked you and wouldn’t have had to go through all this.”
“I know, you should have just asked me,” Kuroo nodded.
“Hey, same goes for you!” you smacked his arm as he laughed before scooping you up in a hug. 
“Y/n,” he mumbled your name. You smiled and wrapped your arms around his neck. “It feels good to hold you like this.”
“I know. It feels right,” you agreed. 
“So, when’s the wedding going to be?” Kuroo joked.
“Ah, who knows? Especially with idiots like us. We’d probably be too scared to ask each other,” you pulled away slightly to grin at hi. 
“Okay, we’ll do rock-paper-scissors for it,” Kuroo held out his fist. You held out yours as well. 
“Rock-paper-scissors!”
Needless to say, Kuroo had to be the one to ask you. 
taglist (open to anyone who wants in):  @montys-chaos​ @miyumtwins​ @strawberriimilkshake​ @pocubo​ @sugawara-sweetheart@akaashisbabydoll @laure-chan@therainroguefanfiction@atetiffdoesart@stephdaninja@oikaw-ugh @charliefredb
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marauder-exe · 4 years
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Friends- Sirius Black x Reader
Request: Hey sweets! I was wondering if you could do a young! Sirius X reader with 41 and 50 please? Your writing is absolutely fantastic! Also, if possible could y/n be in Ravenclaw? Thanks anyway 💓
Prompts: 41.“We never were just friends, and you know it.” “I know it, but you deserve someone better than me.”
50.“You love me like I’m the person who actually deserves your love.” “But you are the only one who deserves it.”
Word count: 1K
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It broke your heart. It honestly did. Every time you heard it , a pang of hurt rang through your chest. He had never directly said it to you, obviously not wanting to hurt your feelings, but you'd overheard his friends say it, and some of his girl friends. You knew it wasn't true, there had always been something more. The late night kisses in his common room, the lingering looks. Never just friends. It didn't stop the hurt though. You tired to never let it get to you, because in the end, you still had Sirius, even if there was no labels, although, on a bad day, it could get to you. Much like today.
You had had a restless night, not a clue why, but sleep alluded you last night, so you thought about reading your favourite book to pass the time, but you couldn't find it, which was just great. So you spent some 7 hours, just staring at the roof of your dorm room, thinking of anything at all. It often lead to you thinking about Sirius, what it would like to be acknowledged as his girlfriend. It hurt that you weren't his girlfriend, but nobody else was either, so you couldn't complain. Then after it was time to ‘wake up’ Your dorm mates cat had tried to ruin your uniform, it was not great. Then some weird guy from your house, maybe in the year before, had tried to flirt with you before breakfast.
So you headed down to breakfast, hoping to forget about your terrible morning, and maybe spend a little time with Sirius. The boys, and most of griffin, didn't really care that you spent every morning at their table. Your Ravenclaw friends, did care a little bit, they missed talking to you every morning, but by now they've gotten used to you sitting with the marauders. And they saw how happy he made you, so they couldn't complain. So you started heading toward the Gryffindor, throwing a small wave to your friends at your own table. You caught sight of the marauders, in their same seats as always. None of them had spotted you yet so you decided to scare Sirius, you silently tried to creep up behind him, their voices coming into earshot, then he said it again. Those shitty little words.
“Come on Prongs, you know were just friends” He said toward his friends, obviously oblivious to you stood behind him,James scoffed in response. You straightened and glared at the back of his head. Remus coughed toward his friend, raised his eyebrows and looked behind him towards you. You'd never seen him turn around so fast in your life.
“Alright, love?” He said, trying to play it off the best he could.
“Yeah, fuck you too, Sirius!” You turned around and stomped out of the great hall, attracting the attention of some 5th years. God, could this day get any worse, of course he had to say it on a bad day. You walked and walked and walked, not really caring where you ended up. You just wanted to be away from everyone.
Meanwhile, Sirius was panicking at the Gryffindor table.
“I think you might have royally fucked that one up” James nudged him, as his head was down on the table.
“Realllly? Never coulda’ guessed, thanks Prongs” Sarcasm dripping In his voice.
“Well why don't you go after her?” Remus chimed in.
“Because, she probably doesn't want to see me” He dropped his head back down on the table. Remus aggressively threw a bread roll at him. “OW! What's that for?” Sirius questioned, rubbing his arm where he was hit.” Man this boy was oblivious.
“You idiot. Its not that she doesn't want to see you, its that she doesn't want to be considered ‘just a friend’. Now go and get your woman before I do.” Remus dead panned. Ans with that, Sirius was off, the boys laughing at him from the table.
It felt like he had been walking for hours, but in reality, it had probably only ben a few minutes, but you know Sirius, ever the dramatic. On his way through the corridors, he had asked the paintings if they had seen which way you had went. He was eventually pointed in the direction of the 5th floor corridor. When he pushed through the entrance, he heard sniffles coming from down the corridor. You raided your head from between your knees at the noise. Sirius immediately rushed over to you. He knelt down beside you and just looked into your eyes.
“We never were just friends, and you know it.” You uttered.
“I know it, but you deserve someone better than me.” Your heart broke at his words, how could he think so little of himself?
“Sirius, i- im in love with you, I don't want anyone else.” You whispered wiping away a tear that rolled down his cheek.
“You love me like I’m the person who actually deserves your love.” His voice was hoarse and quiet.
“But you are the only one who deserves it.” You stated. “You forever deserve it Sirius”
“You don't get it, (Y/N)” He pulled away from your touch.
“Then help me understand” You stood up, squaring your shoulders.
“Your the Ravenclaw princess, (Y/N), im the Hogwarts man whore, were not compatible.
“Oh so your just gonna give into stereotypes now, what happened to challenging the system Sirius?  What happened to being everything your not supposed to be? I love you! Isn't that all that matters” And in that moment, he thought about it, he really thought about it. When did he become someone who cared what other people thought, he loved her. He didn't need anything else. He grabbed her waist, pulled her closer, hand resting on her cheek, and kissed her with all the passion in the world.
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Alright, Period Cramps just set in and Im looking for songs anyway so Im gonna be listening to every RWBY Song (V1-V7) in chronological order and rank them, starting with the worst. Lets go!
Caffeine: Thank god the team with the Nazi-based leader has the shittiest song so far.
Celebrate: Why tf is this here
Shine: Ehhhh. I dont really know why but the vibes were all off, somehow. The fact that really dislike Jaune (and as an extension, Arkos) doesn't help either.
Forever Fall: This song was 5 minutes long and it felt like 20
Brand New Day: I barely even registered that
Fear: not the worst
Lets Get Real: Either Im too tired or the songs are getting worse
War: Im ranking this one higher because it wasnt over 4 minutes
Bmblb: All the love songs are so generic
Dream Come True: Im listening to all these songs in the form of Lyric Videos and the art used in this one made me think 'Oh, a Jaune Song... Great. Well, maybe we'll get Jaune pining after Phyrrah now! Yknow, to balance it out. A cute lil song of him pining for a nice girl might me like him a bit more!' and guess what. It wasnt that. It was another Arkos Song from Phyrrahs perspective. AND this one had unnecessary Girl-Hate towards Weiss! For no reason! The only reason its above Shine is because they atleast got the vibes right this time.
Not Fall In Love With You: I think Im just not a big fan of the love songs.
Boop: It was pretty cute but nothing to write home about
Until The End: slow piano
Touch The Sky: Its not that bad, its just that Im tired and this song is too goddamn long
This Time (From Shadows II): A just fine song for a shitty arc
I Burn: I liked fine, until they started rapping.
Like Morning Follows Night: I thought this was gonna be one of the better love songs, then he started rapping.
Smile: All this does is make me question how Ilia was in the wrong even more. Sounded alright though.
The Triumph: Eh, pretty unremarkable opening for an unremarkable volume
This Will Be The Day: A very promising start! There's honestly not much to say here
From Shadows: It was fine. I liked the overall sound but the lyrics and the singing are just a bit too edgy for me.
Bad Luck Charm: Someone in the comments under the lyrics video said "looks like someone found his middleschool poetry" and honestly, yeah.
I May Fall: Hey, yknow how the FoB was apparently meant to happen in Volume 1? Yeah. Overall, I thought it was pretty alright. (You can probably already tell that Im not too big of a fan of the louder, more energetic songs so far.....
Trust Love: This is by no means a problem I have with only this song, but I hate how theyre all like "oh this isnt some FaIrYtAlE kid, this is real n dark n shit" as if RWBY isnt the least dark and least subversive story Ive seen in recent time
Rising: Alright but unremarkable
Miracle: Another alright but unremarkable one. At this point I feel like listening to these songs is frying my brain
Ignite: I was just gonna say its an alright Yang Song but that rap...
Big Metal Shoe: I can appreciate some fairy tale references
Gold: The chorus got a bit repetitive but I thought it was pretty cute
Home: Another cute lil family song! This one was kinda long though
Lionized: I really appreciate the vibe of this song
All Our Days: Adorable! I didnt really expect a Taiyang Song but this was pretty nice
Sacrifice: Not really much go say about this one, I thought it was fine
Neon: I feel like I just got aggressively flexed on in the nicest, yet most condescending way possible
Lusus Naturae: Very edgy, but in a way that I can appreciate more
Red Like Roses I: I really like the sound of this one! I kinda wish we had more lyrics, but this was the song used in the Red Trailer so Im assuming it was made to compliment the action more than anything. At the start and end there was this series of notes, that Im assuming is gonna be the Leitmotiv? Either way, Im curious how theyll use it
All Things Must Die: I feel like this song is definitely at its best during the slower bits
Lets Just Live: First of all, I cant believe they live-laugh-loved us. They kept mentioning like, stories and how 'this isnt your TYPICAL fairytale', I could practically feel the writers being like "Huh, huuuuuuuh? Arent we CLEVER? Yes we are, yes we are!" But other than it was mostly fine. A bit long, maybe.
Armed And Ready: Pretty alright Yang Song, I felt like it was just a bit too long
It's My Turn: Not much to say, I thought it was a fine Weiss Song
Nevermore: I think its good
Wings: I really enjoyed this song! Caseys voice is lovely and I think its a very good Blake Song
Indomitable: I liked this one, but I feel like its mainly because the line "the spirit is indomitable" reminds of Flame from VRAINS
When It Falls: This song is trying very hard to convince you that RWBY is Dark Now. And given that Im pretty sure this is V3s opening, I guess it fits. Oh well, it still sounded pretty nice.
One Thing: A real slappin song thats going straight to my YGO-playlist as well
All That Matters: Very neat song about Yang's conflicting feelings on Blake's return. Shame theyre literally not conveyed at all in the show.
Die: Very agressive title, but okay. I also enjoyed this one, who wouldve guessed. I love this whole vibe of Desperate Heroism In A World In Ruin, yknow? Its there in Time To Say Goodbye and Red Like Roses II (two of my favourite songs so far) too. Though it is quite dissapointing that the show never really matched it.
Hero: I dont get how people can look at this and go "yeah, Ironwood was clearly always a tyrant who never even remotely cared for others". Also Caleb Hyles my beloved
Time To Say Goodbye: Another very nice song! I also think the foreshadowing in the third verse (yknow the slow one) was quite well done. The only real issue is, that the plot point its foreshadowing is stupid as hell
The Path To Isolation: Why is Weiss a better character in her songs?
Divide: This song is trying very hard to convince you that RWBY is Dark Now pt 2. It is a banger though, so its fine.
Mirror Mirror: Funfact: This was technically the first RWBY-Thing Ive ever consumed! A Youtuber named Strawbelly made a german cover of this song (and the songs from the other trailers, I believe) and it was one of my favourites for a while. Ive also already listened to some of Weiss' other songs and I remember enjoying them too. I can definitely already tell that I prefer Caseys voice in the slower songs, so I really hope this keeps up
This Life Is Mine: Yoooooooooo, Caseys voice was amazing in this one(especially at the very start)! This is one of the Weiss Songs I listened to before I even watched RWBY and what can I say, I loved it back then and I love it now
I'm The One: Oh, this was absolutely lovely. For the first few seconds I thought I wouldnt like this one, but its a banger! I love the lyrics too, theyre very clever I think
Red Like Roses II: DUDE, I adored this! I did not expect there to be lyrics for Summer at all and I was so pleasently surprised! Sandra's voice was lovely, and I really hope I'll get to hear her again. But on a slightly more negative note, I feel like this is really where the whole 'RWBYs Songs Characterize The Protagonists In A More Compelling Way Than The Show Does'-Problem starts.
I originally wanted to write some kind of conclusion but Im tired and wanna read angst fics. Have a good night!
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lesbian-octoling · 5 years
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Hey guys, Xeno drama ((you know, about the banner and hate and whatnot)) below the cut if you don’t wanna see it!!! 
@mrkamabo--co Hello! I don’t know if you’re ever going to see this, but. It’s here.
First of all, yes, it’s me! lesbian-octoling, rhi-draws-things, whatever you wanna call me. I’m making this because I’ve heard through a friend of mine that I trust that you are a relatively good person, and while I don’t agree with everything you’ve done, I figured i might as well try to clear things up between us.
First off-
I’m sorry.
This is a 100% genuine, formal apology. I am sorry your medical issues are acting up, I understand completely. I had and almost identical use (albeit with chemical imbalances making me throw up, instead of breathing/heart issues, but both caused by stress), so I get it.
I’m not here to stress you further. In fact, I’m here to try and resolve the issue. I don’t want you to feel the way you do, and I don’t want to start more drama. I should know, i’ve been receiving nasty shit for a while. If you don’t want to read this- that’s okay! Don’t stress yourself, dude.
I just feel like this is important, because we never actually talked- and lack of communication often leads to violence.
But there are a few thing I wanted to address- first and foremost, the ‘xeno free zone’ banner, and the tags.
#‘you’re a coward cuz u wanna draw them with t^ddy’#i don’t do that in the first place lmao#and if you’re going to say:#'its actually scientifically accurate!’#nope it really isn’t #why?#why would squids/octopi evolve to have digigrades/muzzles/claws on their hands?#why would they look like goats with their eyes and muzzles?#they would have flat fish face!#have squid/octo hat heads!#like the third stage in their canon evolution!#exaggerate that if you want scientifically accurate squidlings/octolings/inklings!#otherwise.. yall just makin them into furries tbh#note: i have a surplus of fursonas#k peace
Ah, I hope you don’t mind me going off a bit, but I did want to say things!!!
Muzzles: Inkling beaks, IRL, are very long! they just look flat because.. well, squids are long! But if you put that into something shaped like a human head, they need a bit more room to stretch out.
Claws: they’re not actually claws, they’re hooks! Just like real deep-sea squids have hooks made of chitin that can retract back into their tentacles, which is why i made them like that. As you can see when they go back into heir squid forms, their arms and legs ARE just evolved tentacles!
Here’s a cool example of the hooks, as compared to some of my squid hands:
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‘goat noses’: This is because… it’s not a nose! A real squid breathes through it’s siphon, which is one, large hole. That’s why their nose is like that- it’s not two nostrils, it’s one hole, but flattened down so it’s not just a big ol’ hole in their face. If it was, things might get into it, like dirt or bugs or.. i dunno.
Digigrades: admittedly, this is just because it’s fun, and theres no reason they shouldn’t. Any other similarities to cats is just… coincidental, really, as cats and squids have a lot of similarities (liking the sun, chasing lights, etc).
Eyes: Actually, this was a mistake. When i FIRST started getting into splatoon i was like ‘wait squids have horizontal pupils right’ and only found out later that no.. that’s octopi! But oh well, it was a bit late, eh? live and learn.
I’m not saying its fully scientifically accurate- hell, course it’s not! But its more biologically accurate than having them being made of ink. Mostly, I just think it’s fun, cus I’m a budding biologist and I think it’s cool to explore these concepts.
Ok! Thats all I gotta say. I just wanted a chance to explain myself, s’all! As for the banner itself… while it may have been joking in nature, I do think it was a bit rude. Kinda like swinging a bat at a hornet’s nest, yeah..? Like you said- “but yknow tumblr be tumblr, and i honestly expected This™”… you gotta watch out what you say sometimes. You could’ve made it more obvious that you were joking- putting ‘XENO FREE ZONE’ with bit red X’s and ‘feel free to reblog :)’ just has.. a very mean tone to it, and it rubbed a lot of people the wrong way, regardless of your intentions. It really didn’t sound like a joke, to a lot of people, including me.
Though, maybe, we’re all just a bit wary- I’ve been receiving asks telling me to- quite literally- kill myself, multiple times, over this. I also know several friends who have gotten the same messages (a few of which don't even draw xeno, but simply because they are my friends). I think me (and other xeno artists, though I cannot speak for them) have a right to be wary, when we’re so used to being bashed. A lot of people are scared, and it doesn’t make what some people said right, I’m just… telling you why that massive backlash happened.
And by ‘massive backlash’…. if I’m being honest- and I don’t mean to make it sound trivial- a lot of the responses to those posts weren’t truly mean. Some people sent a clown meme, a lot of people responded with ‘why are you hating us, were just having fun’. A few were pretty mean, yes, but I could count them on one hand. These were light hearted in nature, and nothing like some of the truly nasty things that could’ve been said. You wouldn’t believe the things I’ve received in my inbox…
I think a lot of this could’ve been avoided if your post right after had simply been an apology. Instead of playing the victim card, simply say ‘ah, that last post was a joke- i sincerely apologize, and I might’ve worded it poorly’. That’s it. And it could have been avoided if you said, in the tags ‘this is a joke post don't take it seriously’. But instead, you went on the criticize xeno aspects. Not saying you’re wrong, but pointing out why so many people took it the wrong way.
But.. the main thing I wanted to address was this post.
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I.. can’t say I’m in the right, but I can’t say you are, either. I probably shouldn’t have made that post- but it was meant more as an off-hand joke. I didn’t mention you at all, as I didn’t want anyone to hate on you. It’s more of a running joke for my blog of ‘sexy tartar’, which is why it was funny enough that I brought it up.
#can’t feel safe#when i put an opinion out there#its easy.. to ignore a post yknow…? It’s also easy not to make a joke like that. Again- maybe you intended it as a joke, but it’s like one of those shitty april fools pranks where you tell somebody something bad happened. We got scared. Doesn’t make it right of us, but it doesn’t make it right of you, either.
But the ONLY thing I’m truly angry about- if you saying that ‘you, a minor, don’t feel safe because you’re being shat on by an adult’. The reason this makes me mad is because… I’m 18. Barely. And you’re 17. I’m… not even a full year older than you. I’m still in high school. The way you worded it made it sound like i’m a 32 year old getting off on sending hate to a 13 year old- and that’s not even close to the case. That is not cool, dude.
Anyway. Sorry about that, though I hope you can see why I’m.. unhappy with the wording. I’m trying to solve things here, not make them worse, ha…
And.. yes, I did block you. But not so you wouldn’t find out. You can still see my blog; i know this. I blocked you because I’ve been getting hate anons for the past few weeks, and I can’t be too careful with who I block. I’m tired of people telling me im ‘ruining the fandom’, so I tend to block at leisure, or when I have suspicion. And a big ‘ANTI XENO’ banner is reasonable suspicion, yes…?
Again, I apologize for that post, but i was not doing to to spite you, just because I found it funny. I didn’t contribute to the spreading of hate to you in any way- I am very anti-hate messaging, and very pro ‘block and ignore if you don’t like them’. Which is.. what I was trying to do, but I didn’t want to leave us on that sour note. I did not encourage anyone to ridicule you on your post, or send you any sort of messages and asks.The only people I complained to were my girlfriend and a select few close friends, who i KNOW would not participate in any sort of hate spreading.
I’m not asking you to be friends with me. I’m simply trying to clear off any misconceptions- I’m fully welcome to hearing what you have to say back. But…
All in all, I think the gist of what im trying to say is that we all made mistakes, and we should both own up to them. I’m very sorry about your heart condition- I sincerely, 100% hope you get better. And I’m hoping that by talking it out, we can clear things up and not let it stew..? I know that sometimes these things tend to eat at me until I fix them, and that is all I’m trying to do.
I’ve unblocked you for as long as it takes for us to resolve this issue, if you would like to move to DMs, or to discord. Either works. Or.. don’t respond at all, if you don’t want.
Have a nice night, and I hope you feel better!
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