#im trying to keep my cool about this
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Good morning to Edmonton southwest good morning Sherwood park good morning Banff kananaskis and GOOD MORNING Calgary and thanks for ditching that annoying af Shandro guy, respect. Party in his driveway for me.
#im trying to keep my cool about this#edmonton finally being completely swept is finally making me feel something#personal hapo#hapo rambles#yeah y yeah alberta#did not expect sherwood park tbh but welcome to the club#looked at the results in my old rural riding and feeling sick though
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squeaky_toy_sound_effect.mp4
#im gonna end up giving half the hermits these animal noses bc they're too cute and fun they'll all look like goofy movie cast#its a sacrifice im willing to make tho#i wanna try to implement more fun and magical details and traits into my designs and not only base them on realism#god knows if something comes out of it#like. you know how in ancient mythology they mashed all the cool animals together in insane ways that make no sense? i wanna do that#about scar: idk if im gonna keep drawing him with this nose tbh. still haven't decided if i like it more than the normal one#might also come up with something else entirely too. that's always an option lol#like. maybe a more kitty nose? or ooh a big round lilo and stitch nose damn... really i should be drawing this and not typing whoops#hermitcraft#goodtimeswithscar#my art#sketch
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Under blue moon, I saw you 🦇
#who is up thinking about cass cain guys..#actually... this is a design for my au im making rn...#reading batgirl 2000 btw...#her design has a lot more bat coded traits#alike the bruce in my au... he also has the bat ears instead of the pointy look..#biomimicry designs i tell you!!!!#cass cain#cassandra cain#uhmm idk what else to tag#speedster art#i drew this recently but i am trying to keep my tumblr up to date..#more art soon (<-- this dude literally has hal jordan parallax fanart rn that is about to be uploaded...stay tuned..)#guys she is sooo cool#i love the way shes designed in my au because her suit is different too#anyways..uhmmuhmhmhum i love colors and i love coloring digital pieces thank you goodbye :33#my art
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i feel like. theres designing a character with certain themes and motifs in mind, and then theres making a gijinka for the water bottle on my nightstand
#me when im the only person on the bus wearing a mask: i should make a furry plaguesona#its hard to explain bc. most of the time i try NOT to give my characters a 'strong' theme like making their whole design around#one thing like apples or even broad stuff like baking or cottagecore.. idk if its partly for flexibility or because i cant imagine them#making it their whole personality. not bc i find it cringe or overblown but more like ive learned to associate design with character depth#i had a cutesy uwu persona for most of highschool because i thought it would make me more. likeable? easy to remember? since#memorable character designs are easy to recognize. and one way of doing that is simplifying it with a theme or symbol so you form an#association. but since im a real person its exhausting keeping up that appearance all the time and denying myself things when they dont#fit my 'aesthetic' or 'theme.' i think ive grown past that bc i just collect stuff because i think it looks cool and dont let myself dwell#on how it might 'fit' with my image. but i cant help feeling bad doing it to my own characters bc it feels like im making them too one#dimensional. despite knowing that theyre not real and design alone doesnt reflect depth i cant help feeling like its wrong#despite that i love seeing motifs because it feels like it reflects the characters soul and paradoxically gives them depth. it makes them#interesting to look at too and honestly its pretty fun combining things that fall under a similar category when designing#i struggle find a balance between those two things#actually this reminds me of noelles christmas theme.. i dont remember her saying anything abt liking christmas despite a lot of#her design and character tying back to it. it makes me wonder if she would have feelings about that or doesnt think abt it too hard#or if its like a matching family shirts situation and shes just going along with it??#maybe i should just do whatever i want with my character designs since theyre not real and im thinking abt it too hard#although. this probably has something to do with deep seated identity issues huh#yapping#oc talk#oc
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I bought a very nice at home printer and a very nice at home cutting machine!
Because of this, I'm opening a merch tier on my Patreon for 2024!
And, I can print out your favorite panels for you on my shop now ^^ (I can also print of any of my illustrations! I'll add more paper sizes later as I figure out how to ship them 🧡)
#self promo#shop#patreon#okay im gonna be advertising more this coming year cause....#making merch is legitimately my passion#its so fun for me to think up fun and creative items#and ive had to keep a lid on it cause it's way too expensive to test out items through companies#and there's never a way to try just one#but now there is a way!!! i can do it at home now!!?#so im very very happy with these things ive bough#ive been playing with them a lot and as someone very passionate about merch and the presentation of things...#its good quality#im spending. SO much on paper.#but the quality of it is so worth it#anyways.#I'm really excited to explore all this next year and to get to make fun new things for patrons#also lol i say im opening the merch tier cause i bought cool machines#its kinda the opposite... i bought them cause ive wanted to do this for years but it never felt possible til now!!!
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one of Thee funniest tv tropes is "group of people (better if they're not friends) wake up in the same area after being blackout drunk, with it being Wildly obvious that some crazy shit went down & they have to puzzle it out / fix their mess without anyone knowing"
#psych is KILLING it w/ s6ep2 rn#i cant even attempt to eat my tiny cake im cackling too much#especially since its shawn/gus + lassie + woody LIKE CMONNNNNNN#THAT IS SUCH A KILLER GROUP FOR THIS#and its So fucking funny so far already....#the 'woody & lassie slept together' joke... i wheezed! they did it Well ngl#but man. im 7 minutes in and its already my favorite episode#and here i was Attached to the cinnamon festival ep....#so much can happen in 24 hours </3#absolutely unprompted#anyway absolutely iconic quartet of characters i didnt know i needed it but im so glad i have it#the four of them trying to keep their cool in the autopsy room... asdkandjkafkjan TOP TIER#fishtank gun my beloved#one day i hope to write this trope. i hope i do it well#i have many ocs it could work soooooo fucking perfectly with#the idiot squad especially....#and many media-based characters as well!#honestly this trope can work with anyone. well now that i think about.... the less 'on brand' it is the funnier#like the wh crew? who cares if puppets cant get drunk. that shit'd be hilarious#i just know they'd be so fucking insane about it. the weirdest blackout shenanigans ever...
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intuition
#忍たま乱太郎#HAPPY RAIZOU DAY (i have ten minutes to post)#nintama#nintama rantarou#rkrn#fuwa raizou#quirinahdraws#digital#SORRY im obsessed with this arc its so so good (s21e37-39? i think)#ZATTO FEATURE??? SOUNIN?? GOJYOU DAN??? RAIZOU COOL ARC?? MAIN TRIO? SHENANIGANS? WOWZAAA#i think amako made a comment once about how raizou has a lot of potential. or how the intuition skill he was trying to develop this episode#is super key. but i love thinking about raizou....i believe in his shounen protag training arc. i want to see him become an awesome six yea#fun fact this drawing is supposed to be matchy matchy with my saburou drawing from last august but the different in style ERM#asmr i smack colors around on the canvas for three straight hours#my evil twisted wish for a raizou episode is i get to see him and koheita interact bc i think theyre great maybe unintentional? parallels#koheitas very intuitive and i think hes actually really good at reading important things subconsciously. seeing thru the disguised senzou i#the 5th v 6th years arc splitting a rock in two maybe the sports comp where he figures out the clue for the scavenger hunt but hes also#kind of smart in general. but hes also really good at disregarding detail that isnt immediately relevant so hes hard to keep up with#but raizous super attentive which kind of paralyzes him decision wise but he figures out how to put that to advantage? im not great at this#i made him a page of mind for a reason. he has potential!! also i love sounin....
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feel sooooo excited the dd storybook is almost here like theres actually a set deadline (in 2 weeks) and a week after that deadline ill get it shipped off for test prints and if the prototypes are good i can look into selling them. but the point is the storybook will be real!! my first self-published book!!! this is huge!!!
#yeah its a storybook about cubitos but who cares#ive showed the current pdf to my irls and they all think its really cool and proud of me for this project too!!!#they know making a picture book is my no.1 dream since forever!!!!#trying to get my life together... i think its working....#well that is until i finish the book cover which ive been procrastinating because i keep spending time goofing around with friends whoops#those acnh/stardew/mc hangouts are such killer my past few weeks has just been those LOL#烤鱼#SORRY i needed to gush about this somewhere. smiles and walks into a low hanging branch and passes out#EDIT: I FORGOT TO MENTION THE KEYCHAIN DRAFTS??? COMING SOON ??? 💥💥💥 i still need to finalize those designs but WOW!!#the new dd keychain sets... THE MUMBO KEYCHAINS that im gonna make as a revenge on J (j if you see this this is on you)#the boatem standee i really wanna make.... the list goes on...
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skuaclan confession foxfern originally died on moon 1 but i couldn't find a way to work that into my plans/didn't want to spend ages on the literal first moon setting up her death so i reset the game and started again lmfao
#im now playing about 5-10 moons ahead! not toooo far ahead so things are still fresh in my mind/im motivated to keep progressing with art#but far enough ahead that i have room to actually foreshadow and develop things#i do try to stay true to the rng but if something is gonna make my storytelling shit then im absolutely gonna cheat around it lmao#having a death right out the gate to start me off coooould have been cool but man it wouldve been demotivating to set up a blog
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thank god for indie devs making like tiny little maximum 10 megabyte freeware games on itchio keeping the art of filesize optimization alive. ASSET REUSE FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#im watching a video about wario land music -> 'the bizarre music and sound design of wario land 4' by geno7#good video so far! i like this guys stuff. he talked a bit about how they did some of the sound effects for warios voice#a very like. chopped and remixed sample style of doing his vocal lines. which is very cool 1) because it saves a bit of#precious space on that gba cartridge BUT ALSO 2) it just sounds cool and interesting stylistically#and man sometimes trying to keep a file size down really does give way for some really interesting stuff#on my own personal interests in games i ADORE rpg makers rtp and how people can find creative uses for it#i love that a bunch of games can draw from the same asset pool as one install on ur computer#no bloating your hardrive with a bunch of copies of the same assets - its just already here!#and from a developers perspective i love when they reuse old assets from other games in new weird ways#some small visual novel companies will reuse backgrounds and other assets#altho i dont mind a bit of bloat with VNs since a big draw can be the big pretty images and big pretty sounds#but its still cool when people find ways to get creative with space saving. and from a players perspective its also nice#space is cheap nowadays. but its not Free. we can swallow terabytes whole with micro sds and everything#but a lot of players dont get the chance or ability to upgrade their internal memory that often. so i think being considerate of filesize i#very important. and thats not even getting into the download bandwidth limits - a lot of people all across north america can only get like#internet from 1 provider and that 1 provider often likes to upcharge and limit shit because they can#we might live in a future where a lot of powerful technology exists. but access to that tech is another story#so remember the filesize. remember the filesize.#dies in your arms
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LMAO I am going to explode
#txt#the anger and sadness I have experienced lately has been so one sided and lonely#it’s jus weird cuz im definitely not in a bad place I just keep running into shitty experiences anytime I try to put myself out there#like the one thing I’ve needed to work on for my mental wellbeing was ignoring my discomfort/anxiety and attempting relationships with ppl#and it literally has worked maybe twice out of the times I’ve tried#and eveytime it happens I’m told oh well it has nothing to do with you!! it’s just the other person!#like how can that be true#and what’s even more annoying is I’m very confident and I love myself so much and I’ve reached a point where I feel I’m ready to open up#and let people in so they can also love everything I love about myself#and it just isn’t working#and I don’t know what more I can do other than be a different person#anyways#I’m sorry for being so annoying about this I swear I will go back to being cool again#usually I would jus not post and deal with it irl but I have literally no one to talk to about this
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I've got too many games I want to play and not enough free time 😭 I still need to finish my BG3 playthrough but since Endless Ocean: Luminous came out I've been playing a lot of that instead. Also just got back into Wizard101 last night. Started playing House Flipper again last weekend. Still need to finish BOTW so I can start a TOTK playthrough and finish Pokemon Shield so I can start on Pokemon Violet. I've been fighting off the urge to start up a new Skyrim playthrough for weeks. My brother just told me that Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door is getting ported to the Switch. And now I'm suddenly feeling inspired to replay DAI... And throughout all of this I'm also playing the hell out of DragonVale on my phone. Someone just pay me to play video games all day please
#and before anyone suggests it: no i cant try to get into streaming#the way i play video games is extremely frustrating for other people to watch ahdjsksl#no one is going to give me money for producing a video where i spend two hours checking every barrel in the map while juggling my inventory#and then immediately give up on a puzzle and just sit in silence for 30 minutes while i look up a walkthrough instead#i need a situation that pays me $200 a day just to be autistic at the screen alone in the comfort of my own home#rambling#a few years ago i made it a mission to play all of the dragon age games and dlcs in order and i did not complete it#i got all the way to inquisition before i quit#i had already played it on ps3 but i wanted to replay on my new gaming laptop and unfortunately my computer decided it was too complicated#and also i just wanted to play as an elf again and i was resisting that urge bc i played as an elf the first time and wanted something new#so i didnt connect to my character as much#BUT ive learned a lot about optimizing my games from getting bg3 to run on my computer#so i think i could get it to handle dai now. especially if i upgrade to ssd like ive been wanting#and i just saw a dai post on my dash that made me daydream about possible characters and i was struck with inspiration#when i first played through on ps3 i didnt know anything about da lore. it was my first dragon age game#i was just doing whatever i thought seemed coolest#so i basically modeled my inquisitor after my dnd oc and then just picked a vallaslin i thought was pretty#and then when it came time to pick a specialization i was just like 'i mean my hand has rift magic right? seems obvious enough'#but now i know the LORE. and the dalish really interest me. and i want to make an inquisitor thats their own character#i didnt want to replay another elf mage bc i thought it would be too similar#but at the same time i wanted to re-experience dai (and experience trespasser for the first time) now that i knew more about the dalish#(with mods that fix the annoying bits where your character seems to not know about their own religion of course lol...)#i was thinking about that and i just got hit with some inspiration#instead of 'my dnd character but with a cool tattoo and rift magic and they kinda roll with the inquisitor stuff bc idk whats going on'#what if i made a more intentional character with a much different personality and their own backstory#theyre still the first of their clan but i know what that means now so theyre not really into the herald of andraste stuff#theyre a devotee of falon'din with his vallaslin and fittingly choose necromancy specialization (tho theyre annoyed by all the maker talk)#they can look cool and goth and maybe they even make some different choices about the well of sorrows 👀#i could keep rambling but im running out of tags gah#anyways ive got lots of ideas now and i think the playthrough would be unique enough to be worth it
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spending my whole life trying and trying and trying and trying to be good enough for people who don't give a fuck about me
#im so tired living seems pointless why am i doing this what is the reason#the firm i work at is going thru a merger so it's releasing all the interns except 2#i went into her office and said that id like to stay here bc my dad said so bc i got in cause he was friends with the head#and she said ill think about it based on performance ive not decided yet#and this other guy he went in to tell her that cool he'll leave and she told him that she was hoping that he'd stay#he literally does nothing but play games on his phone he doesn't work at all#i have no idea what he has that i don't#but just. im stuck like this forever right never ever good enough for people i like or care about#not for parents they have a diff fav child not for ex gf not for bestie who has a boyfriend much better at loving her than me#not for that one guy who rejected me in interview bc i don't read the newspaper and didn't know the date of the finance act#im so fucking sick of this i never even wanted to this fuckinh course and obviously even my best isn't enough and ofc im not good enough#for anyone in this field and ill just struggle and struggle and struggle all my life just to earn some fucking money so i can live away#from my sociopathic parents#and the worst part is that i can't stop feeling like maybe it IS me yk maybe i am the problem maybe im not trying hard enough#but how else am i supposed to handle this i prioritize my studies and lose all my friends i prioritise my friends and fail in d#exams#and the trauma keeps on coming every fucking day bc sociopathic parents but i jsut push it down and say not rn i will cry at night anx then#never cry#i wish someone would just tell me that idk you're wrong you're not made for this you really do have some mental illness and you're really#trying your best and do something that's easy and that you love doing#oh god this is now a ventpost#mes
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I have found a beautiful perfect humble rock specimen that is light yellow with a weird dark yellowy brown lining, somewhat resembling a chunk of smoked gouda cheese... effervescent
#I am still very into trash collecting at the moment and even went out and got one of those grabby sticks for cheap and a little#bucket I can carry around and put trash in. so I am going on walks in nature a bit more (not really to enjoy nature but more to play the#very fun Real Life Hidden Object Point And Click Game that is 'hunt for bottle caps and cans' .. but eh.. whatever gets me out of the#house lol).. anyway.. some nature places near water will have cool rocks#Which I know you're not supposed to take them and I MOSTLY dont.. but every once in a while it's like... when else will I ever find a#gouda rock... I have cleaned up 4 buckets of trash today.. I have helped the environment.. mayhaps.. i could take a One Single Rocke as a#treate... ANYWAY. but yeah. I don't know the names of rocks but there's a rock that's a matte muted marigold yellow sort of#color and I call them 'cheese rock'. I'm pretty sure this one is of the 'cheese rock' species but it just has weird brown coloration#like maybe it got stained or something on one side of it. Most of the other cheese rocks have no markings. though sometimes there will be a#auburn reddish sort of hue on a corner or something.. hrmm.. curious. I also got a Beginner's Hobby rock tumbler and some supplies#so I might try polishing some of the rocks from my enormous rock collection. even though they're all street rocks I picked up from sidewalk#and stuff. I saw a video where someone put random gravel and stuff in a rock tumbler and none of them were Stunning Gems or whatver#but some still turned out cool enough that I would be pleased with the result... OUgh.. I want to post more I need to like do costumes and#sculptures and stuff and be Active On Social Media and think about my Future and Career and how it always benefits artists to keep an#active social media or etc. but I just feel so tired and bad lately. I think the summer heat waves have really exhausted me. I also have#been trying to make new friends + on a weird schedule so I've been socializing and also watching media too much. I notice I always start#to feel this kind of unsettled stress of not making any forward progress in my life if I do that for too long. like 'Okay this week I've#done nothing but meet up with two friends & watch like 10 episodes of tv and only worked on a few projects on the side.. this is HORRIBLE!'#(ppl who follow me here that I talk to on discord: this isn't about you! Im specifically just referencing being tired of introductory talks#with a new round of random strangers during my Friend Hunt. Just clarifying so it couldn't be misinterpreted as vaguepost implying that I'm#secretly bothered by talking to you or etc. lol.. anyway) . Which I know to MOST people 'I talked to a lot of friends and watched some cool#stuff!' sounds like a GOOD relaxing time but.. to me it is not ghhj.. Those are 'external' focuses on things outside myself which bothers#me if not moderated. Like.. i MUST retreat internally to work on my worldbuilding and my own thoughts and etc. at very regular intervals or#it will really start to bear on me too much. Brain Mandated Hermit Isolation lol. Just being too detached from my world and stuff for#too long feels increasingly bad. PLUS. every day I don't make tangible progress towards my goals is a day wasted that I could have been#investing in my future by working on novels/games/sculptures/actual career relevant stuff. Not even in a Capitalism way i just genuinely#enjoy Completing Tasks & feel miserable if I don't for too long. EVEN the media I'm watching I turn into A Task since I rank in a detailed#google doc list after viewing lol.. Like EW movie too boring on it's own. NEED to turn it into something I can categorize and analyze ghghj#LOVE to make things more complicated than they need to be. like YAAAY organizational tasks! yaay meticulous sorting!! BOO ''mindless fun''!
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i’m almost done with season 7 of smallville verdict reads : you could never make me hate lana lang
and i might be a clana truther all the way to the series finale 😭
#lana lang#clark kent#clana#smallville#like that’s my girl idk#i kept waiting to hate her#never happened#the only thing that changed was i hated chloe#and now i don’t#so.#also i weirdly don’t have strong feelings about lois#she’s cool i LIKE her but im not that invested#they keep trying to sell me that her and clark just know each other so well#…but they never talk ?#they just keep telling me#they understand each other#they barely interact
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hello hi love u all hope ur taking care <3
#hvaña#mini personal update... have started driving again for the first time in like 2 months#i keep accidentally speeding on the highway which i DONT mean to do whoops#after spending the entirety of february inside and unable to do anything its so good to just. get out and do simple stuff#im going to try and start exercising bit by tiny bit a lost a LOT of progress#im procrastinating rescheduling some tests but thats fine i'll do it eventuallyyyy#um what else. i had a really cool dream the other night that WASNT about public school#i think theres a chance my mom is getting scammed. she doesnt think so but like. idk im concerned#idk mostly this month is about trying to build back strength and just do stuff one at a time#ive missed u all. mwah <3#hopefuly things will start to even out soon
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