#imagine not knowing the meaning of comorbidity

[five-thousand-loaves-of-bread]

did you know that…

while autism functioning labels never really had set diagnosable descriptions like autism levels & autism itself in DSM, so different clinicians may have different definitions, but—

did you know that for many of them (more than you imagine, even now), what different between high functioning & low functioning is just. intellectual disability?

way they use is:

high functioning autism = autism without intellectual disability

low functioning autism = autism with intellectual disability

(so back in asperger’s vs autistic disorder diagnosis days, asperger’s & high functioning autism/HFA & low functioning autism actually all mean slightly different things)

.

yes, one thing tumblr autism community tend get wrong is: unlike autism ADHD learning disabilities, intellectual disability (as single disorder) *directly* affect *everything* about person. from conceptual/cognitive/thinking/learning/etc to social to daily living & adaptive functioning to everything you can think of. and autism community tend downplay ID & ignore autistics with ID. so someone with even mild intellectual disability can be quite different than someone with similar presentation of autism but without ID. however—

intellectual disability being only criteria for medical label, that follow you n impact you for rest of life, that claim to describe how much you overall “function” (want everyone imagine be told by everyone that you function lowly). is wrong.

am nonverbal. have high support needs & need 24/7 someone close by. diagnosed with autism that border level 2 & 3. have many severe symptoms, very impaired theory of mind & often do not even understand people exist & have own different thought n feelings that not like my own, have little to no interest in social, cannot mask n is visibly autistic, have behavioral issues, motor skill lower than bottom 1% of age group, etc etc

& another autistic with maybe mild ID, who with support & hard work is living more independently, who struggles but can speak by mouth, who have job, who with right guidance have enough social skills to keep some good in person friends

am would be called high functioning. n second person, low functioning. all because they have ID while me, don’t.

so, me get “very fortunate (sarcasm)” experience of be grouped in category n be black sheep n be expected assumed able to & be questioned why can’t do things other “high functioning” autistics can do, because they have lower support needs than me & lower autism levels than me. while second person get assumed they not able do things it too dangerous too risky & others be shocked about them do every small thing, simply because they have ID & thus must be low functioning, not because they actually cannot do it.

though. even if there someone like me but have ID. still don’t think anyone should be told they so terrible at functioning they “function lowly.”

diagnoses can be important & having comorbid disorder especially something as general as ID can mean different things compare to someone without that comorbid disorder. but language about person should be individualized based on each person, not something general that only look at diagnoses n not the person. and, that language need be actual respectful about person, because that who we are: people. even if some of us have a LOT of struggles where we physically depend on other people 24/7.

(n everytime talk about autism functioning labels, feel need to say: forcibly labeling someone with functioning labels problematic because everything just said. not because all autistics same & by same, mean verbal low support needs)

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for trying to clear off surfaces in my house?

So I (20X) live with my mom (60F) and my sister (20F). My sister is disabled mentally and has a lot of comorbidities (so there's a lot of things going on there), which I would not mention if not relevant. Important to note is that she doesn't really do reasoning - like it just doesn't really click with her - if that makes sense, I guess. Never has, either.

I've lived with her my entire life, so for the most part I literally could not care less what she does even if it might bug other people or seem "weird" to them. Like that's just normal to me and I don't care and just kinda deal with it.

However, recently she has decided she needs to line up all of her stuff on basically every surface imaginable. Normally, I wouldn't really care. Sure it's inconvenient, but whatever.

Except... She has now decided this needs to include every single table in the house. All the tables are covered in her toys, and you can't even use them. Obviously, we need to use the tables for things like... Dinner, just to name a big example.

My mom has tried to explain to my sister that she can't just cover all the tables up, but my sister just screams at her and then ignores everything. My mom tries to reason with her, which has never actually worked, and my sisters usual reaction is screaming or just going "I'm mad!" or claiming "It's mine!", and then my mom just kinda gives up.

Now, here's where I might be TA... I've decided to take a more direct approach, and recently have been intentionally knocking over all things she has covering the tables when I pass or when I need to use the table. This, of course, pisses my sister off, but my logic is that if trying to talk her out of it doesn't work, then maybe if I inconvenience her over and over again, maybe she'll realize that these aren't good places to put her things and move it somewhere else.

My mom's mad at me for this, saying I shouldn't be making my sister mad, which normally I'd agree with, but... Well the only option that wouldn't make her mad would be to just let her cover up the entire table, which my mom and I both agree is a problem. She also claims that I'm "not helping", despite the fact that she doesn't do anything to handle this either.

My mom also says it's wrong of me to do this when my sister is disabled and "doesn't understand". Again, normally with most things I'd agree, especially when most of what she does isn't things that cause problems for anyone, however this is effecting all of us, and I don't think that just because she "doesn't understand" means she can just do whatever she wants all the time when it negatively impacts the rest of us, even if she may not understand why she can't.

But... I don't know. Am I the asshole here??

What are these acronyms?

[zebulontheplanet]

I woke up with a lot of hate from anons so let’s clear some things up.

All that I talk about is professionally diagnosed except one diagnosis I have (which is POTs) is unofficially officially diagnosed. Which means the doctor hasn’t written it in the chart but is treating me for POTs.

I can talk about my PROFESSIONALLY DIAGNOSED BPD if I want too. Before I said it was probably a misdiagnosis. Now I’m saying that I might be wrong and I think I should hear people out about it.

Another thing. Having the amount of diagnoses that I have IS. NOT. NORMAL. it is not normal to have 10+ conditions. However, it’s possible. It’s REALLY POSSIBLE. Because I am here, and I do have 10+ diagnoses and I am professionally diagnosed, and I know people who have about the same as me or even more! Because being disabled has this wonderful thing called comorbidities. Which I have a lot of.

Another thing, me being able to type well doesn’t mean I don’t have an intellectual disability. There are many people who have intellectual disability who go on to do amazing things! Who have families, who have kids, who are married, who have successful businesses, who have done all these things! And there’s people with ID who have not. That’s ok. We need to stop lumping people with ID in one single category and instead realize it’s a very large spectrum of capabilities and strengths.

Another thing, i have a lot better things to do then come on here and fake having disorders. I have a life. I have family. I have 5 siblings living at home and I’m the second oldest so you can imagine how busy I am. I DO NOT need to come on here and fake having conditions and disabilities. I come on here and talk about disabilities I DO HAVE because I want to share about them in my free time and I enjoy it. I don’t have to, I don’t care what other people think. I’m just here to have fun.

One last thing. I’m laughing at all you anons that sent me hate because I could really not give a fuck. I’m gonna go on with my day and talk with my boyfriend and hang out with my aunt today. So…fuck off.

Also, being autistic does not excuse you from ableism. Have a nice day!

[kerubimcrepin]

Live-read: The Wheel of Destiny #1, Atcham.

You can find this article on the Dofus MMO’s site, by simply googling it.

Before I begin this post I want to acknowledge multiple things:

On the hierarchy of canonical media, web articles are like... the bottom of the barrel. I already suspected this, but season 4 fully retconning Eva's parents from the lore articles sealed the deal. For this reason, take these as nothing but the sort of canon that will get retconned at the first available opportunity.

I recently found out that the Wheel of Destiny 8, the one about Kerubim, seems to use stolen fanart by Flowerimh, which is sad. I don't know where else to put this, because I don't want to make a separate post about this. Flowerimh isn't even active anymore...

Despite these two things, let us proceed to read this article together:

So, this article happens anywhere from one year to a decade before Joris was born, and at this time, Atcham and Julith were already acquainted and spending free time together.

Spoiler alert: They are searching for Kerubim.

Keke getting called a "precious runt" is on par with the shit Joris gets called. Wonderful. I do wonder why they would search for him in Brakmar. Someone confused him for Atcham? Maybe they asked Kerubim himself, and he didn't want to deal with them, and so, sent them to Brakmar on a wild goose chase?

I will not be asking "what did he do" because, like, Fifi Pretty Calves exists. He has enough enemies to have a price on his head.

I am literally in love with him, and every single way he is described in this part of the text.

"He had a preference for sibilant sounds", "Aw, poor little puppy", "the only reason he hadn't robbed them blind is because he wanted to know more".

He was so excited.... he thought they wanted him (not carnally).... 😢

He takes a lot of pride in his work and insane behaviours.

Atcham considers himself an extraordinary adventurer and a valiant fighter. AND HE ISSSSSS. But it is interesting that besides being a killer for hire, he probably also adventures.

[Taps this meme I made about Kerubim and Atcham once again]

He was so ready to be the one people wanted to kill just once, and they ruined his whole fucking evening.

Imagine this being your day-to-day life, for decades. Just people laughing at you, laughing because you still hadn't caught on that you're the joke, and laughing when you finally understand that, and get upset.

Laughing about you behind your back, to some random stranger, too. Because they still hadn't realized they're literally talking about him.

I think this is a good time to say that I headcanon Atcham as autistic. It is simply a headcanon, but one rooted in the themes of his character. I think it is a fitting conclusion, (albeit, just like my hcs of Joris having ADHD and OCD and Kerubim having comorbid BPD and HPD, very accidental one, on part of the writers).

I could talk for hours on the way neurodivergence, disability, body issues, and violence-as-response-to-abuse intersect in Atcham's character, — or the way he hates everyone preemptively, because he knows that they will probably hurt him, yet still tries to be at least a bit kind and fair to others (....who aren't Kerubim).

I am probably not autistic, — however, I am neurodivergent, and I love & relate to him, so yeah. Always rotating this bingus in my brain.

Imagine this being your whole life.

I read descriptions of Atcham being cool and fast, and all the analysis leaves my brain as I say "awooga hummina hummina".

The fact that nobody ever wed him is literally so unrealistic, like WHAT DO YOU MEAN you don't want the weird, mentally ill, neurodivergent twink.

We never see Atcham's home in Brakmar, but from the description of "tattered", and the way his bed looks in the comic panel I inserted earlier in the post, it is safe to say his home is the definition of "girlrotting". It probably smells. Bad.

Says the woman whose kindness will also be the death of her, — and her ruthlessness too.

Because of her visiting his home so nonchalantly, and their interactions as a whole, I like to view Atcham and Julith as somewhat close friends, — as close as two very emotionally repressed people, who have a huge age difference, and don't like to admit that they feel anything positive, can be.

He probably didn't mourn her, — not after she was presumed dead for ten years, and not after she died for real.

But he probably still thinks about her, once in a while.

[nightmarekilljoy]

Help why does misophonia act up at stupid stuff I WILL CRY!!

Imagine your ears hurting from people... talking. Just talking! I don't know what my problem is. I mean I do know... BUT WHY??

I'm overwhelmed.

I need noise cancelling headphones asap. Asap.

I hit my head every time I hear them all talk and I'll sob cry if I keep hearing it.

Every sound hurts my ears.

By the way this is my disability. Not me being a dickhead. Be mindful of that. Misophonia is a serious condition. Comorbid with my autism it is even more.

And if you tell me that I'm a snowflake and that I need to get used to it I will make you listen to people scream in your ears on full blast every day all day until your ears bleed because that's how that feels like.

Please have a little understanding.

-Amber (she/they/it/star/shine/rot)

[everyone-with-a-para]

Hi! I have several questions, if that's okay.

I very recently found out about daydreaming community, and, honestly, was in awe, because all my life I thought I was that one weird autistic child with really big imagination and finding this community was like a blessing, because I don't feel that alone now. But, surfing a in this part of the internet left me a little bit confused and the fact that english is my second language does not help.

So, first question. I somewhat lost the line between immersive daydreamings and MaDD. I am sure that all of my daydreamings are immersive, because all of my life I was daydreaming to the point of every single moment of free time. But I don't understand when immersive daydreamings end and MaDD begins. As far as I understood, people with MaDD have difficult time leaving their daydreams, because of one reason or another and use them as coping mechanisms. At which point immersive daydreamings become MaDD? What is the line? What are, let's say, particular qualities of it? If that's okay for you and isn't hard, can you explain it in detail with examples? I try to understand myself, and while I find in myself a lot of stuff, I don't want to invade the MaDD community as (somewhat) healthy person.

Second, is having DID is a requirement for any of this? Is this still okay to be in the community and not have DID?

Third, maybe not a question, but clarification, as far as I understood, "para" in daydream community means someone (character, your version of self, yourself and so on) you have connection with. Again, character, yourself or version of yourself, in which I am sure. Am I correct in it? Can people you know in real life, if you are religious, God(s), spirits and others, different kins of alterhumanity and fictional characters from other media also consider as "para"? Are there any other labels like this?

Thank you, if you will have time to answer this. It way be a lot, I am just excited to find some niche that I was having all my life actually is (somewhat) common experience and I am not alone in it. I hope you will have a great rest of the week.

Hi welcome! I remember the relief I felt when I first found this community too. MaDD can feel like such an isolating thing if you don't know others experience the same

This got a little long so answers to your questions are under the cut

1. Immersive daydreaming is defined as intense and developed daydreams that feel more vivid than regular passive daydreaming. It's often used as a coping mechanism and often started in childhood, but those are not defining features

Inherently, all maladaptive daydreaming is immersive. It becomes defined as maladaptive when it negatively impacts your daily life. This is widely up to your own interpretation, if you feel like it makes life (whether that's external activities or internal feelings) more difficult for you, as MaDD is not yet a diagnosable disorder

Personally, some ways it negatively impacts, or has impacted me in the past: emotions feeling more real for people in my head than anything in my real life, embarrassment/anxiety of letting my daydreams show on my face in front of people, paranoia regarding mind readers despite knowing they don't exist, injuring myself from acting out daydream scenes, forgetting to eat/drink/take care of basic hygiene in favour of daydreaming or just losing track of time, dissociation, derealisation/depersonalisation, second hand distress from my paras

Anything like that and more can be counted as your daydreams being maladaptive. The coiner of the term, Dr Eli Somer, has actually made a list of proposed diagnostic criteria, should MaDD ever get to be in the DSM. You can find that here

2. DID/OSDD and MaDD have significant overlap/comorbidity and MaDD has been proposed as a dissociative disorder itself (for a research paper about this see here) but one is in no way required for the other

I'm not a system, but I am very vocally supportive of them because my best friend(s) is, that and the comobidity is why you might see a little system content on my blog

3. Para is a term used by the immersive and maladaptive daydreaming communities to describe any character within a daydream. Anyone/thing that exists in real life or as a spiritual concept can't be considered a para unless they are directly part of your daydreams

There are other terms such as parame (a para you daydream from the POV of), paraself (a version of yourself in a daydream), veritbond (a para that feels more independent and has a deeper connection and meaning to you), and paracosm (a world in which a daydream takes place). A comprehensive list of all ID/MaDD terms can be found here

I hope this answers your questions in a clear/helpful way. You're always welcome to ask more!

[rin-and-jade]

The imposter syndrome is basically just… “you’re faking all of this and imagining it all up for attention.” Blue (our host) has always been imaginative, and never realized that their imaginary friends were actually alters (us). It was only after another system explained that that including the fact that they don’t remember anything from childhood other than a few memories here and there are signs of being a system.

Another thing is that Blue doesn’t remember any trauma that happened other than being bullied and understanding that they never really had friends growing up except for the ones in their head.

It also doesn’t help that they were frontlocked for the longest time and was only recently able to leave the front. They’ve tried a whole bunch of logic to go against the imposter syndrome, but that doesn’t stop them still believing that this is all fake and for attention. We keep reminding them that they would actually know if they’re faking, but they’re still scared that they might be and just not know it.

It’s fun to know that Blue’s trust issues have gotten so bad that they refuse to trust themself and the rest of us.

-Donnie🧪

Ah darn that is a load, sounds hard to deal with already i can see,, i got some factual points to make, hoping that’ll break some barriers in mistrust and skepticism from me—because i get that feeling. Now get on reading as i start with the toppest issue:

Imaginary friend or not?

This one,, if you have an imaginary friend you can imagine as much as you please in terms of character, appearance, and voice.. moreover you get the point. Point is, you actively “act” this imaginary friend, lets say you are upset and then you turn to the imagined friend, pour the feelings out, you would know the things you needed to be comforted and how,, so then you imagine that said friend saying it to you.

For alters, not all of the time they know what you want, nor how you want them to look,, they’re way more autonomous than just something made out of the imaginary and are the ones that does the internal dialogue + commenting without having to ‘focus’ on it. (And yes, it is one of the reasons for memory gaps apart from other comorbid factors that makes it worse such as dissociation)

No memory, no trauma! (Myth)

Do you think you’d be able to function if you remember all the bad things from start to finish (present day) because it is a big NO. Different memories are compartmented by different parts, giving the illusion of no “valid trauma” , especially if those memories are subconsciously suppressed because that is outside the active awareness of being able to be recalled. I promise you all kinds of trauma (even having no friends) is still valid. All the proof you need is defensive physical reactions (jolting from a sudden loud noise for example) and other signs like hyper-vigilance probably, plus the alter stuffs and dissociation going on. So don’t say you need memories as the only proof?

What’s real,, am i faking??

I know you don’t mean anything malicious because no one wants to fake or deliberately get attention and i assure you, you are not,, if you want to fake something you already know what, how, and when you decided to have this disorder and exactly knew every parts and its name you picked, plus knowing it’s exact roles, hobbies, dislikes,, etc. Discovering something ≠ faking. “I would’ve knew if i have this disorder” is also wrong,, sharing concerns/needing some help ≠ wanting attention.

I hope everything that was asked has been assessed here, wishing well it’ll create a new insight to tackle the problems.

- j

[weepingpussywillowtree]

big list of things that make sense about my childhood now that i know im autistic

not to be annoying, but this diagnosis makes so much click for me, and i need to get it down somewhere

i was an early reader, and a super advanced reader, but i had difficulty understanding complex emotional themes and characters in a way atypical for my age. on standardized tests, i couldn't answer questions like "what did character x mean when he said y"

i have aphantasia, and there's evidence that autistic people tend to exist on the extremes of the visual imagination spectrum (either none or lots)

i constantly got in trouble for 'rolling my eyes' and 'being a smart aleck'. the rolling my eyes was me flitting my eyes around because i couldn't make eye contact. the being 'smart' was me not understanding instructions or rules unless explicitly told. for example, i got in trouble at sleepaway summer camp (aka hell) for skipping a meal when i wasn't hungry, but i was never told i had to go sit in the lunchroom even if i didn't want to eat.

i was a picky eater. the only sandwiches i ate for the longest time were butter or honey sandwiches. for the record, sandwiches with plain white bread and lunchmeat still suck. bleh

i forgot about or ignored my biological needs. i used to wet myself and did it way later than my friends/peers because i either didn't realize i had to go, or i was so engrossed in whatever i was focused on that i ignored it

i had GI issues so severe as a young child, that i was put on prescription strength heartburn medication. GI issues aren't a symptom of autism, but they are one of the main comorbidities and i still have severe heartburn to this day.

I had meltdowns regularly when overwhelmed, over things my parents thought of as minor. like, coming home from a long day of school, or being 'late' to things we typically did at a certain time. this was described as me 'having a temper' or 'being dramatic'

i was extensively bullied and ostracized, for reasons i did not understand

i was taken advantage of in friendships, for anything from homework answers to being the fall guy for stuff i didnt do

when other children discovered they could make me 'explode' by pushing certain buttons repeatedly, they did it on purpose until i sometimes got violent. because of this, i was told there was something 'dark' inside of me that i had to learn to control.

the advice 'just be yourself' always did me more harm than good

i imitated the gestures, poses, responses, vocabulary, and tones of voice of my peers

i stimmed! all the time. i used to flap my hands and jump up and down, until that was bullied out of me. then i would pace back and forth while listening to my ipod

i monologued about my interests and couldn't tell when people weren't interested anymore.

i read fantasy books constantly, and couldn't tell when it was not appropriate to read.

i had an aversion to physical touch/affection, and even had a reputation in my family for it. they would try and goad me into giving them hugs. my mom said i was never comforted by it, even as a baby and the only way to stop me crying was to let me watch bambi over and over

i had terrible fine motor skills. i couldnt tie my shoes till 11 or 12 and couldnt use scissors until later

i couldn't stand certain textures of clothing, and any scented things at all. we always used unscented everything, and i wore a lot of boys clothes.

I had one comfort item, a stuffed lamb I took with me everywhere, and was distraught for close to a year when I lost her. she would often talk for me. as in, I would say what the lamb wanted or felt when really I was the one who wanted something or felt that way.

finally, i didn't play normally. instead, i arranged dolls, legos, horse figurines, or stuffies in elaborate scenes and then stared at them. often, i would do the same scene over and over for the same toys. i would pretend to do imaginative play or try to do it if some other kid was with me, but i could only really follow instructions.

In movie theaters, I plugged my ears through the whole thing even if I was enjoying it. I couldn't see IMAX films because they were too overwhelming, and would cry when I was brought to them.

I had inappropriate emotional reactions. I laughed at roadkill or at the can of smoke the priest would shake at my family's Catholic funerals, and often got accused of faking my emotions for attention when I was upset about something that other people said I shouldn't be upset by

[liebermintz]

a peculiar comorbidity, part two

i'm experiencing a diabetes-associated autistic meltdown. and it's not pretty. it's made me develop a really bad relationship with food, a massive fear of it. it makes me doomscroll on Beyond Type 1, on Twitter, on Reddit, just to find some glimmer of hope. It makes me panic-message my endocrinologist if I stay elevated at 220 for like two hours - I was between 200-270 mg/dL when I developed ketoacidosis symptoms, I can feel my heart pound in my chest at 250 mg/dL, I develop ketones within an hour of staying out of range. and yet her biggest concern is the fact that I kinda have to bend over backwards to wrap my life around this autoimmune disorder, to get really tight control and stay out of highs (but ultimately be more susceptible to lows - which are not good at all, since I am mostly hypoglycemic unaware) in fear that I will have to be charged to the hospital later that night. my body works really fucking weird - like, Nick Jonas had to have a blood sugar of 700 mg/dL just to get admitted for DKA in the middle of recording It's About Time. most T1D diagnosis stories share the same thing. the closest diagnosis story I can compare mine to is maybe a few LADA stories - but LADA cases always start out mimicking type 2 diabetes, which I could've been well in danger of developing because of an astoundingly bad fast-food-heavy diet (three times a day when I was working at the bookstore, IIRC - binge-eating during the bookstore closure). it takes YEARS for a LADA case to really show its true colors. mine took two months. I'm gonna try to get my C-peptides tested again - and if they're still 0.9 (just slightly under range) after three months of a raging autoantibody reaction, then I know there's more to me than "body attacks body." i'm hoping they are. that means I could benefit from Tzield - if they ever approve it for people like me. every few weeks or so I have diabetes burnout so horrible that it intermingles with the meltdown and, combined with whether or not the sun's outside, puts me in a really bad mental spot. and you wanna know how bad it gets? you really want to know? well, let me put it like this, to quote Kid Cudi's weird grunge album: "I hate the gun, but I love the sun." From "Confused!" - from Kid Cudi, whose big shtick is that he's REALLY honest about his struggles with suicidal ideation. that specific line is about how he really does not want to kill himself, but he DESPERATELY wants peace of mind. usually, when it comes to suicide, nobody talks about it or, if you do, people just lock you up and throw away the key. i have worsening suicidal ideation because of this comorbidity. Nick Jonas thinks the worst he has to deal with is that he can't eat pizza super-libertine anymore or that he might get shaky enough to chug an apple juice in the middle of singing "Waffle House" during a show? imagine being afraid of all your safe foods because if you take too little insulin, you're in the hospital for DKA later that day because elevated sugars hit you way harder than everybody else, and your entire medical team (but specifically your educator and endo) will tell you "don't eat that anymore, don't eat that anymore" because they don't get the fucking memo despite you not making eye contact with them at all, despite having the monotone voice, despite occasionally stimming since I can't keep my guard up at all times - they think that as long you don't look like the Rain Man, counting cards in a suit from Armani and underwear from K-Mart, you're not autistic.

do I HAVE to whip out my diagnosis and observation papers from 1994 to 2005 just for them to get the idea of why I'm desperate for the long game to be a relatively short game? I get that this shit's gonna last a while, but when I say I can't live the rest of my life with this, I really can't. the average life expectancy of an autistic person is, what, 51? well, you just cut my life expectancy down to, maybe, 45 since I am way more prone to distress and burnout. all the type 1 resources, both by type 1s and medical organizations, have been tailored for neurotypical type 1s or type 1s with way lighter neurodivergences, for neurodivergent kids who've always had diabetes so the cormorbidity isn't bad (so they can still freely determine their safe foods). this is why I want to get on Tzield now - I want to prove that the PROTECT Study is worth its weight in gold. I want more clinicals near me to widen their eligibility for me - to not have the cutoff age be 30. I want Novo Nordisk and Sanofi and Eli Lilly to end the price-gouging of insulin either through extreme government intervention or by making insulin totally free. forever.

[intersex-questions]

(talk of genitals & periods in depth. kind of a tmi tbh.)

so i am intersex, have a female reproductive system with clitoramegaly/very small penis. this means i do experience my periods, and regularly due to medications. however, when on my period, my clit get Incredibly swollen and painful, to the point where wearing pants w seams is too painful even with a pad on. does anybody else experience this????? i can’t find any resources about it and wanted to know if anybody else that is intersex experiences this as well.

Don't worry about anything being TMI—that's always welcome and allowed here.

Burning, abnormal swelling, or general pain of the clitoris is usually referred to as clitorodynia. This isn't uncommon for people with clitorises and you're not alone in experiencing pain there. People experiencing clitorodynia often struggle with certain clothing or any pressure on their clitoris as well.

The clitoris can change size cyclically and circumstantially. An example of cyclical change is changing size over the process of a month due to various reasons such as ovulation or menstruation. A circumstantial example is during arousal.

However, it sounds like your clitoris is inflamed rather than typical size change, likely due to pain. A few causes for clitorodynia include:

Irritation of the skin (such as by products like soap, lotion, lube, or even some period products like pads)

Local trauma (as in injury to the area)

STIs (many STIs can cause clitoral pain)

Various skin conditions (such as lichen sclerosus)

Infection (such as yeast infections, BVs, or UTIs)

Keratin pearls (when regular secretions of the clitoris harden and prevent free movement of the clitoris)

Vulvodynia

Many of the things listed above can be worsened or present stronger symptoms during periods.

I'm not sure why this would be most strongly associated with your period, but clitorodynia often is often a manifestation of vulvodynia. Both clitorodynia and vulvodynia are chronic conditions of pain, with vulvodynia specifically around the vulvar regions. Unfortunately, finding a root cause for vulvodynia is often difficult or completely unable to be explained. Vulvodynia can be cyclical. Cyclic vulvitis is cyclical pain of the vulva/vulvar regions during the menstrual cycle.

I can guarantee you there are many people, both intersex and perisex, who experience this. You are not alone. Sexual health problems can be comorbid or seen more prevalent in certain intersex variations or caused/be worsened due to poor medical treatment of intersex variations. I'm sorry that you have to go through this pain. I cannot imagine how rough that is.

I recommend speaking to a doctor or other medical healthcare provider if you are able to and it is safe for you. Even if the root cause isn't able to be diagnosed, it's possible you may be able to cross off certain reasons (like an STI, for example) and look into treatments. Clitorodynia and vulvodynia are often unfortunately lifelong conditions or disabilities that can mitigated with certain treatments. If you don't already, you might find OTC solutions to be helpful, such as certain pain relievers (like ibuprofen) or an ice pack/cold compress/boo boo buddy. Personally, for things like this, I enjoy having several cute boo boo buddies because just their appearance alone makes me happy and feel a little bit better.

I hope I could at least help a little!

[adomoda]

youre a fucking pussy for not turning off asks. Kill yourself, fucking freak. imagine crying over something that doesnt relate to you at all, you piss-stain. you mad that there's parents out there supporting their kids since your parents clearly left you in a fucking ditch? Lmao, no fucking wonder.

Ha. Oh spew your hate... I know you're full of it. The virtuous liberal left😂😂😂🤡

Its called narcissistic personality disorder, and is a gender dysphoria comorbidity. The projection of the inner self loathing and vacuousness. Must really suck to be so miserable.

You're clueless. As in zero self awareness. Its really sad that the world is enabling sad clowns like yourself instead of giving you real therapy. I mean your clearly very fucked up. Who spews such rage? Just mental patients like yourself.

Grow up and get some real help.

[roseofblogging]

I've spent more time learning about ADHD, especially some of the shared experiences that aren't explicitly part of the commonly listed symptoms. (For people who don't know, I recently officially got a diagnosis. My symptoms fall more on the inattentive side, but I do have some symptoms of hyperactivity--mainly busy thoughts, and I also do small movements a lot, like small bounces in my seat.)

But what's really surprised me is learning about Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, and while this is by far not exclusive to people with ADHD (I imagine many people with anxiety also deal with this, and yippee, I also have generalized anxiety disorder lmao), it's a common symptom, especially for ADHDers with comorbid anxiety. Despite years of work, I still clench and grimace and go on the defensive when I feel someone is criticizing me, even if they're not approaching it with hostility. (In fact, it's easier to ignore someone when I know for a fact they're a troll or just being an asshole.)

People close to me, though, who I should trust don't mean harm? Shit hits way harder. And it is sooooo much constant CBT work in trying to remember to pause before a kneejerk defensive reaction. Because not all feedback is bad! (And I'm also a creative, so...feedback is a part of that and improving a thing.)

[iz-the-egoni]

I’ve been meaning to do one of these for a while so here goes…

whenever I say I’m an "elder" of disability on here or anywhere else, even IRL, the above is just one of the many things I use to justify it

the full collective of these form parts of a whole which I am deciding to show on my blog

gonna call it "The Other Kind of Rainbow Pride" 'cos of the class I was in during Primary school. One of the first dedicated autism classes in the world

NOTE that I’ve whited bits of it off so that no-one else may attempt to use this to nefarious ends

—————

I was born on the 13th of July 1992 – subsequently named "Dominic John Powers" – in England, specifically Epsom which is just outside of the south-western part of London, although I would grow up just inside of it. My bod was routinely Assigned Male At Birth, which is something that’ll bear much significance later so I’ll only bring it up when necessary

to slice a long bread short, I got diagnosed with Aspergers and ADHD, along with a couple other comorbidities, when I was about 4, which meant being put through a very emotionally brutal system in the mid 90s. Anyone who knows about English hospitals and the surrounding 'health' industry in that era will understand why that’s awful. We really were being experimented on

needless to say this left its lasting mark on me and the role I was to have now and especially later, something which I’m still working to surpass. Namely that of not quite an invalid, but neither a normality. In fact I was registered disabled by the state shortly after the DXing process, which led to a series of provisions getting issued by our council one of those being the "Blue Badge" I’ve posted above

amongst my family at the time only grandad had one, having suffered a severe and debilitating stroke about a decade prior. Indeed, much was the stigma of being a young child exiting a car parked in any disabled section and receiving abuse from the public most of whom had no idea about the implications of NeuroDiversity at the time, let alone the chronicity and complexity we faced

this continued into events which should have been fun such as at theme parks where my aidies (ADHD) made queuing impossible for me and would have caused danger on the rides had it not been compensated for. Other families accused us of "jumping the line", unaware of the challenges we dealt with in a society and culture where more than 99% of children just didn’t have the issues I and other aidies (people with ADHD) did and, in some of our cases, still do

that badge was due for renewal in 2003 which, given they expired every 3 years, means it got issued in 2000. It was my 2nd, the first being 1997. I was 5. Barely 1800 days old

and that is one of the many reasons I call myself an elder and act as such. As someone who has risen above a LOT over a long period of time, and endured much when not a lot of people were, I have in most cases almost unique experience and thus insight into many of the issues us mentally disabled people face and how it extends unto our physical existences

—————

to close then, I’ll say this…

no one is inherently more disabled than anyone else. However, some people are merely un-abled, meaning they have no advantage over anyone else. Imagine what it feels like and does to someone being actively disadvantaged. That will objectively leave you with more disability than another…

[alastairdragovich]

Can we damn specific kinds of autism that make life harder for the individual in question? Like, most forms of autism are the kinds of things that make people think and view the world differently and that’s wonderful and fine. I’m not talking about that. But the use of the autism label implies a comorbidity with some really nasty stuff. That means that you get stuff like ‘my brother can’t communicate or adapt his behavior without months to years and years of intervention and any or all of the progress at the drop of a hat. Abstraction is right out so he literally can’t understand things like danger or pain very well either. And this is before the OCD and insomnia cause daily interference with that stuff.’ And that’s just the form of autism the unluckiest of the unlucky people have to fucking live with. Imagine always being in an age range of 2 to elementary school age and being forced to live like that for your entire life. Like, thank the Lord that autism is 99.99% the kind of thing that can be embraced and celebrated. But the .01% can be damned straight to Hell for the suffering it brings down on them and the difficulty it causes the people who love them enough to care for them. ...I wish my brother had the autism and/or neurodivergency other people have. I wonder if he even has autism, and wasn’t just mislabeled as a kid because people didn’t know better. All I know is that he doesn’t deserve what he has. I’d greatly prefer having to deal with a hyperfocused brother who has a few trigger issues if it meant he could, in fact, live his best life safely without 24/7 supervision.

And also on a tangential note: Fuck Florida and Fuck the stigma towards psychological health issues & services. My ENTIRE fucking family has suffered from depression and literally we didn’t know or understand what to do until the last five years. 

Maybe if had our own issues addressed, my bro could have been in a better state because we would have been able to help him as our better selves.

[pointreyesjournal]

The Amnesiac : ep21

Drawing From Serotonergic Hyperactivity

We’re all gathered around the coffee table, Henrik, Emma, River, Me and Doctor David Hoover, Department Chair, UC Berkeley College of Psychology and resident expert in the illicit distribution of psilocybin mushrooms.

“There’s some debate amongst the academic community about acquired savant syndrome and the use of psilocybin mushrooms” says Dr. Hoover. “I’d point to Serotonergic Hyperactivity as a potential factor in acquired drug-induced synesthesia.”

“What does that mean doc?”

“It means the synesthesia you experienced was chemically identical to a traumatic brain injury. Following a brain injury the dead brain cells are flooded with serotonin, which can cause the acquired savant syndrome you experienced.”

“So it’s true about drugs killing brain cells?”

“No. You see, that’s the beauty of this whole experiment. Psilocybin induces the synesthesia without the cell death by dumping serotonin into your healthy brain. It was - relatively speaking - harmless.”

“I don’t think harmless is exactly the right term” River chimes in. Dr. Hoover doesn’t know about the purple butt plug incident, therefore isn’t able to contextualize the comment so he just responds to her in a scholarly way. “You’re exactly right River, any treatment modality runs the risk of side effects or comorbidity, but these risks are statistically insignificant.”

Clearly, he nor anyone else in the group has any idea what happened physically between us last night, so River smartly just lets his comment pass and moves onto the more pressing question. What do the pictures mean?

The Drawings

#1

The front side of the first drawing features River sitting nude with legs crossed in the lotus position. Hair covers her breasts, and Dave Jr., my dead potted fern is between her legs obstructing the view of her private parts. The back side shows River, head to toe, walking toward me with a creek underfoot through a narrow, vertical-walled canyon, heavily vegetated with ferns. She’s dressed in jeans, big waffle stomper hiking boots with red laces and a cozy looking off-white sweater.

#2

The front side of the second drawing features River standing in my living room wearing one of my old red flannel shirts and no pants. The back side is, oddly, a bearded man, possibly Henrik, wearing the same old red flannel shirt and standing next to a big blue dog.

#3

The front side of the third drawing is a close up portrait of River’s face, hair parted slightly to the side. It is very flattering, in bright pastel colors and highlighting her bright blue eyes. The back side is the same portrait, but dark brown as if River was a statue carved out of wood. Her eyes are cold and lifeless. It is haunting, bordering on disturbing.

#4

The front side of the fourth drawing leaves nothing to the imagination anatomically. It is a graphic close-up sketch of River’s private parts. The back side looks like an ocean of water pouring into a hole. Like someone pouring the entire ocean into someone’s anus.

#5

The front side of the fifth drawing features River laying nude on my wood floor, surrounded by a rainbow of cartoonishly drawn flowers. Those same cartoonishly drawn flowers are still decorating my floor, there is a blank space the shape of a chalk body outline where River’s body once laid. On the back side, River is laying, once again in her big off-white sweater, in a field of perfectly drawn tulips in a rainbow of vivid colors.

#6

The final image features another close-up of River’s face, but this time hidden behind a silver camera. Henrik immediately recognizes it as a Leica M camera, but is unable to distinguish the exact model or vintage. Unlike the other images, the back side is seemingly independent from the front side, this time showing the main street of a fairytale Bavarian village.

—

“Clearly River is an allegory, emblematic of something or somewhere, I’m just not sure what that something or somewhere is. Does anyone recognize these locations?” says Henrik. The only person who recognizes a location is Dr. Hoover. “The back side of print #4, that looks like Thor’s Well. I’m certain of it. But I don’t recognize anything else, and they don’t seem to have any commonality beyond River’s presence.”

I drew the images, and even after extensive review, I can’t make sense of where, why or how these images are related to each other, nor can I discern any meaning. The drugs were supposed to eliminate my amnesia not exacerbate it. But I find myself staring at a bunch of images that aren’t bringing me any closer to solving the mystery of my disappearance. Worse is that Dr. Hoover is a annoyed that we burned through about a month’s worth of his stash in a single evening, and have really nothing to show for it.

“Guys, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I don’t think I’ve been to any of these places. Thor’s Well is the screensaver on every Amazon Fire Stick and it’s the background image of 90% of those shitty Chromebooks. That Bavarian village proves it. I didn’t magically disappear for a month to Europe. These are just places I’ve seen on the internet. I doubt they’re real memories.”

I can see that Henrik is really trying to solve the puzzle. His head is tilted to the side slightly and he’s chewing on his bottom lip. Then I see his eyes light up. “Floody, where did you say your phone was?” he queries.

“It’s gone missing.”

“Is it an iPhone? Do you use iCloud?” Henrik asks.

“Yes.”

“Floody, use the Find My Phone locator from your iCloud account!”

“You can do that?”

“Yes, of course. Fetch your laptop!”

I put my laptop on the kitchen bar near the espresso machine and let Henrik drive. He opens the web browser, then navigates to iCloud, and clicks to find my devices.

“Floody, your phone is in Yachats Oregon. You were in Yachats Oregon! Do you know what else is in Yachats Oregon?”

“Why do I feel like you’re about to say Thor’s Well?”

[lethiwebhengu]

BLOG 1 psych

Experiences That Left Letty with Questions.

“Letty, I can’t really see properly here but I think you passed. You are going to do your fourth year!” these are the words I always imagine my mother would say in the middle of December this year. It’s been tough, rough, “scratchy” and heavy this year, but they say growth happens through pain (and a few questions for me).

First of all, fieldwork for OT3 is scary so what helped me cope is ASMR which helps with anxiety. one of my favorites is (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-SYwOAe6V_4&ab_channel=CoromoSara.ASMR  ). I am not sure if it’s appropriate to use for patients with anxiety. It is amazing how I stepped into fieldwork not knowing much about physical treatment but ended up knowing a thing or two. During my physical block, I had a client who did not really see the point of OT since there is physiotherapy. This was hard for me because as a Zulu girl, adults are superior and nothing they say can ever be wrong to you. With the help of my supervisor, I had to brush up on my handling skills because they were challenged. I had to come up with more of a “if you do not co-operate during my sessions, you are likely to get worse” than trying to convince him that OT is beneficial and important. This taught me how handling is different and has to be altered for EACH and every patient because we are not the same people.

(Fleisje. A. 2023) explains that ethically it is great to have that person’s consent but as a health care professional, sometimes you have to work on contract the patients who refuse to cooperative rather than care to build rapport. In other words, consent is important, but you must always find ways to persuade the client if you know the therapy will benefit them. This was highlighted a lot by my current client who I have had for the past two days. She is the kind of client that needs gentle and soft handling most of the time. It is important for us as students to get a range of personalities of clients just to avoid ending up with assault cases because we are not trained enough to calmly find a way to get cooperation from the client.

I remember my first time on fieldwork. My first ever patient was an old man who had just been admitted to a psychiatric ward and very high functional. He was cooperative but I could tell he could not understand the meaning of the assessments I was doing (neither do I, because he was perfectly fine according to me!). on some days he would disappear for our sessions because he would do well for his assessments. So, he was non-compliant. He was an old man so every time we met after his disappearances, I would not address them because my approach was now a “as long as I get all the information from him and get out of here" approach. I didn’t try to persuade him or tell him about the importance for therapy and it looked like the third years at that time also did not care. Which is a problem now because it’s better that he was not be assessed but he was not getting therapy treatment.

why do we come with the “you need me, and if you don’t that’s none of my business” approach and not the “you have to let me help you” approach.” Why do we, occupational therapists (and students) and even other healthcare practitioners, not reinforce handling during training if our aim is to restore or maintain function? How will we do this if we let our clients be when they refuse to cooperate? If we let this be then that means our purpose as OTs is biased to only “easy” clients?

HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH A DIFFICULT PATIENT?

OR

With all the statistics rising for paralysis, comorbidities, unemployment, substance abuse, crime, and mortality in this country and the rest of the world. It seems we do not know that we are also part of the problem.

References

Fleisje. A. (2023). Paternalistic persuasion: are doctors paternalistic when persuading patients, and how does persuasion differ from convincing and recommending? Retrieved from: file:///C:/Users/Student/Downloads/s11019-023-10142-2.pdf