#immediate next message in inbox was /silly

[stealingyourbones]

Ah my bones they’re gone why would you do this/sillu

Oop got the source of your back pain! You’re welcome :3

[kaliandra]

to the anon in my dm

I'm not replying your message in public to avoid dealing with harassment and discourse again, I hope you don't mind.

I appreciate your message. And I'm happy you like my art! I feel like when people look at something in fandom they dislike, they immediately think the artist did that in bad faith. It was not my case at all. What I did was supposed to be silly and funny, but I take responsibility for tagging it wrongly.

From now on, I only care about protecting my peace, which is why I'm never touching that character again, only my favorite ship, and my favorite ship alone.

As for keeping my inbox open to anon messages, for now it's pretty peaceful. You see, I got a lot of atrocious and offensive messages in all fronts (twitter, tumblr and strawpage), but I engaged with none. When you don't engage with people who already hate you, I reckon they get bored, and move on to their next target. So I believe I'm pretty safe now, given that I don't get hate messages anymore, and I completely gave up making art of that character.

Again, I appreciate you reaching out, and remember to also protect your peace if you want to navigate and enjoy fandom!

~kazi

[mrfancyfoot]

Plots & Prosody: Prompts

Raphael x Evie (f!OC)

.

- Good Morning - "Raphael has turned into Evie's unexpectedly enthusiastic guinea pig as she's wrapped up in the grueling project of (re-)inventing cell phones and the internet. Turns out the devil likes 'Good Morning' texts."

This prompt was: ‘A good morning text’

Rating: T-ish / SFW Word Count: 590 Timeline: Plots & Prosody, Part II (before 'A Blank Page') - Canon Tags/Warnings: POV Raphael; Fluff; Humor; Fantasy Tech; Modern Girl in BG; Raphael Learns How to Text; Yes, This is Same-Year BG3; Raphael is Down Bad; Devil Courtship; He's a Silly Devil <3

Main Fic (Rated E/Varied): AO3 + Tumblr | Master List Related Prompts: A Blank Page , Caress , Supreme

[Quick Context: After Evie spends most of Part I (Game Events) ‘befriending the devil,’ yet denying him her soul, Raphael makes an alternative offer: the Orphic hammer in exchange for her time - specifically, a mandatory number of days every month for a span of two years.  He procures his Crown by other means. Evie goes about her new life kick-starting her business and re-inventing modern-day things - for which she makes Raphael a bit of a prototype tester. Unbeknownst to her, Raphael is using what she believes is a “contractually mandated friendship” period to court her as his future Archduchess.]

I apologize for this being a pinch unrealistic - Raphael doesn't immediately devolve into calling Evie slurs when she doesn't reply within 2 minutes...unlike many of the gentlemen in my dating app inbox. 🙃

❤️ Thanks for reading! :3 ❤️

Good morning, love.

Good morning, dear.

Good morning, dear fox.

Raphael tapped at the tiny letters and symbols across the shiny surface of the small communication tablet.  Shaking his head, he was unsatisfied with any of the salvos coming to mind.  Chin in his palm, he drummed his fingers on his desk.

[Good morning.]

There.  Simple.  To the point.  Enough to ensure that his presence was kept at home in her mind even when he was not physically with her.

When no reply was forthcoming, he felt himself growing impatient as he gazed upon the surface of the device with undivided attention.  Within her thorough demonstration of the device the prior evening, Evie had shown that these messages could be sent and received instantaneously but only his own words illuminated when he touched it.

Remembering then that she would be yet asleep at this hour, it was concluded that perhaps he was being unreasonable.  How unbecoming to be so eager.  He would allow her the appropriate time and await her return salutation.

Though he caught his eyes occasionally flicking to the tablet for anything new as he toiled through his work, it was a few hours later that he noticed its slight cerulean glimmer.  A reply from her in glowing text was now below his sent message.

Evie: [Good morning - I hope your day is stellar! :D ]

Ah, a wish for him to make grand achievements throughout his day.  He would expect no less of the one he courted than to have the highest of expectations!  She would then be pleased to know that he had already accomplished much this morning. His lips curled into a smirk as he carefully formulated his words.

Dear, Fox.

Too informal.  Yet he could not be too formal.

[Dear, Evie-] [My day has raced off to a phenomenal start!  Over my morning kaeth alone, I have finalized nearly two dozen contracts, and I expect to close on thrice or more before the day’s end in preparation for conquest.] [I have a number of meetings scheduled with my generals today.  I shall begin my march on Zariel’s forces within the tenday.]

Sincerely.

Regards.

Cordially.

Too cold.  Not intimate enough.  He was addressing his intended not some common petitioner or mark - though he supposed she was a mark of a different sort…

Ah!

[Yours,] [R]

Her next response lit the tablet faster than he could return his mind to his work.

Evie: [Nice - good job!] [That’s exciting!!] [So close already!!  Y’all have got this!]

Delighted by her enthusiastic approval and encouragement, his pride swelled powerfully within him.  He would hear her sing his praises to him and before all once he imminently became Archdevil of the First!

[Dear, Evie-] [Your encouragement vitalizes me!  Soon, I expect I shall have much more to report.] [Until then, I look forward to our impending time together.  I have a few surprises in store for you.] [Yours,] [R]

Evie: [Uh-oh, surprises?  I shall anxiously await!] [And you don’t need to be so formal over text] [+ you’re gonna hit my current character and storage limits sooo fast lol] [I know it’s you, silly ;) ]

The rapid responses did lend to a more casual flow of conversation. Rather than letters, it was akin to the passing of notes.  He would format his own to reflect hers.  With that in mind, he fired off his next, desiring clarification.

Raphael: [Explain :D and ;) ]

Evie: [A grin and winky smile] [ :) ] [ :P ] [ ;) ] [They're smilies!] [and lol = laugh out loud]

He understood - it was maddeningly obvious in retrospect.  She was including mimicries of faces, expressions.  To aid in conveying tone?  Thus, she was flirting within her last message and wanted to ensure that he recognised it as such!

His eyes scanned the available letters and symbols to craft one of these tiny symbol faces of his own.

Raphael: [ ];) ]

[viviennewestwouldnt]

14 years of Tumblr

I was 14 years old, still in school, and discovering who I was and what I wanted to be. I joined Tumblr in 2010 back when it was a very different website. When we were just in the beginning of Web 2.0 and the internet still had the shiny glow of potential and frequently went down and had little to no features.

Tumblr was a place that I met new and interesting people from all over the world. I remember coming home from school every day and logging on, scrolling through my dashboard all the way down to where I had left it (remember chronological feeds? and ones that didn't have update every second?); sometimes when I refreshed the page, nothing new would appear for hours. I remember only being able to post one photo at a time, and when that finally changed and you could post multiple photos, everyone being ecstatic over it. I remember how much porn was on Tumblr, and how Tumblr became known for having the best porn. I remember how shitty the Tumblr video player was. And the mobile website.

The internet was still slow then, it was still largely curated by people and not bots or algorithms, there weren't ads everywhere, and it wasn't serious. Tumblr was a place of silliness and everyone was silly together. It was a microcosm of trendiness and if you used it, you became associated with a group of people that were different. Different from those who used Facebook or Twitter. I remember the 'aesthetics' and when 'aesthetic' was first used to describe something visually pleasing and 'alternative'. I remember 'soft grunge'.

I remember reblogging, what were the first memes, over and over again. I remember how cool GIFs were back when people were obsessed about how you pronounced GIF. I remember when Vine took over the internet and my dashboard.

I remember finding a community of queer people where I didn't know any in real life. I remember speaking to people from all over the world. I remember sending them messages to their inboxes until we would both hit the daily limit (remember that?). I remember the different times of the day that Tumblr would change that was synchronised to the timezones of who I followed. I remember staying up way past my bedtime and going to school the next day on three hours of sleep. I remember using TinyChat and entering the world of group webcamming before it became a work tool. I remember writing to my first penpal. I remember meeting people from the Internet in real life for the first time. I remember going to my first Tumblr Meetup. I remember lying to my parents about it. I remember meeting my first boyfriend. And my second.

I remember getting 'anons' and all the drama associated with 'anons'. I remember sending horrible anonymous messages to people. I remember bullying people. I remember being bullied and receiving horrible messages. I remember when the internet finally 'got real' to me and it wasn't just a playground anymore.

I remember all the iterations of my blog: my obsession with Iceland, meme posts, fashion. I meticulously edited my blog's theme over and over to get it right and best represent me at the time. I remember staying up all night for weeks at a time watching runway shows live as they happened and then immediately blogging about them. I remember the passionate conversations I would have with my mutuals about something we had just saw. I remember when my blog had only 500 followers, being obsessed with my follower count, and seeing it as a validation of who I was and what I was putting out into the world. I remember hitting 40,000 posts and being proud of that achievement. I remember being terrified of the idea that someone from school would find my Tumblr.

Tumblr was such a defining period of my life. I grew up using Tumblr and it grew with me. The people I followed grew up too. I stopped using it regularly after high school because Tumblr no longer seemed to be what it once was to me. While I don't use it anymore, I have left my blog intact as it was. It's a relic of a different time and when I was a different person.

The internet is a very different place; it's not even a place anymore, it's everywhere. Rather than coming home and racing to my computer to log on, I want to turn my computer off and read a book or go for a walk. The internet is scary now and not silly.

Still, I think fondly on the years I spent here and what they mean to me. I am now 27 and thankful for that time.

[karizard-ao3]

I want to share with you this idea I have had for literally a year that has always stumped me because I never find a stupid enough reason for teenaged Eren and Mikasa to break up.

The premise is: Armin’s week from hell.

Armin has a nightmare of man-eating humanoids before going to school on Monday and subsequently oversleeps, causing him to miss his bus and have to catch a ride to school with his father which makes him late. His back is also really itchy for some reason. When he gets to class and sits at his desk everybody is too busy whispering about something to notice him. Being the nosey person he is he asks his desk neighbour Mina for the tea only to be met by a shocked gasp “You don’t know?!”

“Eren and Mikasa have broken up!”

And then there’s a whole bunch of shenanigans from here where the friend group takes sides in the break up (if you’re wondering it’s Sasha, Connie, Jean on team Mikasa and Reiner, Bert, Marco on team Eren), Armin becomes a child of divorce and EM end up working out a custody agreement of who gets to hang out with him when, the song drivers license playing on repeat, a stress induced back rash that is rapidly spreading! And a budding romance between Armin and the loner outcast Annie.

But I can’t think of a stupid enough reason for them to break up! It is crucial the break up can only last a week, and it has to be some sort of miscommunication (because it adds more stress and rage to Armin and I like seeing him stressed). Please help me!!!

Also let me know if you want to know more because I just opened up my old note again about this and I forgot how silly it was 😂😂

I have just thing! Two incredibly stupid situations from my own life that I think could work for your idea.

Both are text messaging related and involve my ex, who can barely read (like Eren!) and doesn't know how to give anyone the benefit of the doubt (like Eren?).

Option 1. Eren misreads a text from Mikasa and, despite it seeming ooc for her to say something so petty/selfish, he does not reread the text. He simply reacts and says something mean to her about how he won't even be able to look at her for the next few days or whatever. When this happened to me with my ex, I was like, "Can you explain what I did for you to be acting like this?" and it was resolved almost immediately (god, the red flags, though), but you can have Mikasa also react and say, "Okay! Then don't look at me ever!" Sides are chosen based on who heard whose version of the story. Perhaps Armin could eventually ask Eren if he can read the text messages (or Eren shows him to prove what a bitch Mikasa was) and he realizes the typo and gets mad that Eren is such a dumbfuck.

Option 2. My ex gave me the silent treatment for days because we had been texting and one of my texts didn't go through. He didn't know it hadn't gone through, of course, but he was mad because he thought I'd ignored something he'd said to me? But he didn't tell me that's why he was mad. He just stopped talking to me, even when I went over to his gma's for Xmas. He just ignored me the whole time. (🚩🚩🚩) A few days later, I was over at his house (Why when he wasn't talking to me and I was now not talking to him???? He'd probably invited me and I'd gone because I'm dumb) and he was like, "Can we be done fighting?" And I was like, "I don't even know what we're fighting about. You started this." And he was like, "no, you did. You ignored me when I texted you [whatever. I can't remember. It was so low stakes]." And I was like, "No, I didn't. I said [something]." We compared inboxes. The reply text was in mine but not in his. All was forgiven. Like with the previous situation, sides can be picked among their friends based on whose version they heard first and it can be easily resolved if Eremika would just talk.

If those work for your idea, please feel free to use either one or combine them in any way you see fit. And, yes, this idea sounds hilarious. It's giving me Alexander and the terrible horrible very bad day vibes. Please share more.

[mushroomwriter]

Hello again! Just wanted to thank you from the bottom of my heart for making that hermanos gifset, you chose the perfect moment 🥺❤

Yes, it took me almost a week to sit and finish the spinoff since I knew it was so different from what I wanted, and apart from that 1 mention there's no sight of Sergio. Have you finished the spinoff yet? I too watched that moment and felt nostalgic before rewatching some of their scenes and the obsession returned :'D

Oof me too, I'll never forget watching that scene for the first time, Sergio's tears and screams were so heartbreaking, and just the fact that we only find out they are brothers WHILE ONE OF THEM IS DYING IS SO CRUEL! The Bella Ciao scene is forever in my heart, as well as the hug, love the way you phrased it "the quiet happiness when they see each other again" Sergio always looks so content when he's hugging Andrés, and one detail that kills me is that Sergio with other people (except Raquel later on) is someone who is not at all comfortable with physical affection, he's always awkward and stiff but with his brother? He's the one to pull Andrés in for a hug, he's the one that clings harder, he loved him so much and man they deserved better!

(pt 2) All the scenes you mentioned are my favourites too!!! Guantanamera scene is such a comfort scene, despite the sadness I love how Andrés is trying to make his hermanito smile, their adorable dance moves too, they are so precious ;___; LOL that monastery scene is such a BROTHERS moment, never fails to make me laugh. I'm glad it doesn't feel weird, I'm a little shy which is why I took some time before replying too but I loved reading your words abt the hermanos! Don't worry about picking one scene you just made my day by mentioning all of your favs <3 Thank you for the invitation to burst into your inbox to talk abt them anytime hahaha I hope you don't regret it 😁

Hi! I'm so so glad you saw it and loved it!! ❤❤ Right now I'm pretty busy studying since I have an exam next week, but I'm already thinking about what other moments I could gif (I'd also love to find some quote I could use for a gifset about their relationship...)

I haven't finished the spin-off yet, I'm actually still stuck at the scene where Andrés mentions Sergio lol but I will get back to it sooner or later! Also I love that that scene had the same effect on you!

I know, right?! While watching part 1 and 2 I kept wondering about their relationship, because they knew each other's name (if I recall correctly we learn the professor's name right when Andrés uses it in the Bella Ciao scene) and they clearly knew each other prior the heist, not to mention Berlín being so affectionate with him (ruffling his hair, hugging him!) and Sergio clearly valuing his advice... I was really there like "what's going on here what's going on" and THEN they dropped the little brother bomb right before Berlín's death. I will never recover from that.

You're so right, Sergio is so thoroughly comfortable with physical affection from Andrés, it stands out and it melts my heart! And on Andrés' part, well, his character is very... um, how can I put this, Unhinged Bastard Man?, but he can get so soft with his little brother and I'm very weak for it.

I couldn't agree more about the Guantanamera scene! Like, yeah, there's clearly grief in there, especially in how Sergio (who just learned about Andrés' diagnosis) is looking at his brother, but it's still such a comfort scene, with their love for each other and their silly dance moves!

Heh, exactly, that monastery moment is like ultimate proof they're brothers and it's so funny!

Sorry it took me a while to reply, I couldn't find the time right away, but oh, your messages brightened my day immediately, I love reading your thoughts about these hermanos too! I really don't think I will regret my invitation 😁

[technomanceer]

HELLO

welcome to my silly blog on the world wide web. the name's cecil, other names n' nouns apply (<-pronoun card) also known as: Pilot Technonomicon, SPLASHDUCKYYY, C1TRUS, iammossrain, Cat-A-Tronic, error040, CATSKVLL, cloudberry daydream, LOSTINKITTYCITY, 3M-SAN, RAGE OF THE TECHNOMANCER, LORD FOOG THE 4RD, CADAVER D'ARC and a very unsettling chord of A Major being played specifically on the ukulele. "Why all the alia--" im a clown car of approximately 90 fools. (plural) Next question

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Tag guide or whatever:

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General BYF???

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if this blog gets the mallet again my alt is @altokel

💫on a far less serious note I don't follow emoji codes because I'm employed but if I make an emoji sequence that means something diabolical don't be afraid to let me know I'm autistic as fuck and just put together whatever looks cute imngl

alr that's all bye

[writingquestionsanswered]

I don't know how exactly I should ask this question I don't know to exactly explain it but I'll try I hope you understand what I'm trying to ask

Every time I finish a paragraph of the story chapter I honestly have no idea how to start the next paragraph like I'm writing the first person pov so the next paragraph mostly starts with 'I' which doesn't feel like it's giving a flow in the writing and even the reader isn't getting a flow in reading, what can I do about that? how can I not start the next lines or paragraphs with 'I' and how the next paragraph should start? I sometimes know how the next paragraph should start and sometimes don't I know it's on the writer how it should start but still it would be great if you could put some light on it

Always Starting Paragraphs with Pronouns or Names

(And How Exposition Can Help)

When writing in first-person especially, it can be easy to fall into the trap of not writing a story but a laundry list of actions: I walked to the window, I looked outside, I wondered where Harry was. I went to the kitchen. I fixed myself a cup of coffee. It can also be an issue when writing in third-person, too, except you’re starting with another pronoun or a character’s name instead of “I.” So, we’re going to look at how you can avoid that, but first, let’s do a quick refresher about paragraphs.

Newer writers (and even more experienced writers) often struggle with when to start a new paragraph. I see a lot of paragraphs that are split when they shouldn’t be, or paragraphs that aren’t split but should be. 

When to Start a New Paragraph:

when changing to a new speaker

when another character does an important action*

when changing locations (new room, inside to outside, new place, etc.)

when time passes

when changing to a new subject, thought, or topic

when necessary for dramatic effect (but use very sparingly)

when moving from action/cause, to thought, to speech

when an action beat goes on longer than immediately pertinent action

How to Add Variety to Your Paragraphs

Stories need to have a balance of action, exposition, and dialogue. As I said at the begging, when you find yourself starting with “I” or “[name]” a lot, it’s because you’re focusing so heavily on actions that it just becomes a list of things someone is doing. What’s missing is the exposition and dialogue. Let’s look at my example again:

I walked to the window, I looked outside, I wondered where Harry was. I went to the kitchen. I fixed myself a cup of coffee.

Let’s see what happens if I add some exposition:

By mid-afternoon, Harry still hadn’t called or texted. I walked to the window and looked outside, wondering where on earth he could be. With nothing else to do while I waited to hear from him, I went to the kitchen and fixed myself a cup of coffee.

That’s already so much better. It transforms the laundry list of actions into an actual story because now there’s something happening to frame these actions. The character is worried about Harry.

Adding Description

Exposition is about more than giving context, though. It’s also adding visual description, sensory description, and emotional description. So, let’s see what happens if we add that to the paragraph:

By mid-afternoon, Harry still hadn’t called or texted, and my gut roiled with worry. I walked to the window and looked outside. The sun was starting to sink behind the mountains, a sight I was accustomed to seeing during our evening walks--but not today. Wondering where on earth Harry could be, and with nothing else to do but fret while I waited, I went to the kitchen and poured myself a steaming cup of coffee. Its sweet, nutty scent put my nerves at ease, but I couldn’t help taking another look at my messages.

Isn’t this so much better? Now we get a sense for what the character is feeling and we get a better idea of the time, and can almost feel ourselves there. What happens if we add dialogue?

By mid-afternoon, Harry still hadn’t called or texted, and my gut roiled with worry. Where on earth was he? Had the exams run over? Did he fink out on them and hideout all day like last time? I walked to the window and looked outside. The sun was starting to sink behind the mountains, a sight I was accustomed to seeing during our evening walks--but not today. With nothing else to do but fret while I waited, I went to the kitchen and poured myself a steaming cup of coffee. Its sweet, nutty scent put my nerves at ease, but I couldn’t help taking another look at my messages. There was a new text from Sally asking if we had plans for the night, so I replied, asking if she was up for a call. Relief flooded through me when she said she was.

“Hey, everything okay?” Sally asked, picking up immediately.

“I’m not sure. Did you see Harry on campus today?” I bit my lower lip, willing her to say that she had.

“Yeah. He stopped at Melinda’s coffee cart on his way into his first exam. Why?”

I let out a breath, already feeling reassured. “He’s not back yet, so I panicked.”

Sally laughed, and somehow that made me feel even better. “You thought he skipped out on them again, didn’t you?”

“Yes,” I admitted, feeling sheepish now. “Silly of me, right?”

“It is, we both know it is, but I get it. It would have crossed my mind, too. If it makes you feel any better, though, Sara and Jason aren’t back yet, either, and they were taking the same bio exam. It must have just run over.”

“That does make me feel better, actually. So, what did you have in mind for tonight?”

Now, by adding exposition and dialogue, this laundry list of actions has been transformed into an engaging, informative scene.

And, if you still find yourself struggling a little with using pronouns or names more than you want to, another thing you can try (which shouldn’t be hard if you’ve added enough exposition) is just changing things around a bit. A big part of what we do as writers is simply rearranging words so they sound better.

Let’s look at the following sentence:

I let out a breath, already feeling reassured. “He’s not back yet, so I panicked.”

If I didn’t want to begin with “I” here, there are plenty of ways I could change the sentence up:

Letting out a breath, I already felt reassured. “He’s not back yet, so I panicked.”

Reassured at last, I let out a breath. “He’s not back yet, so I panicked.”

“He’s not back yet, so I panicked,” I said, letting out a breath and already feeling reassured.

“He’s not back yet, so I panicked.” I already felt reassured, so I let out a breath.

Sometimes you just have to sit and play with a sentence for a little while, look at the different incarnations, judge how they look in context with surrounding sentences, and choose the best one. But, again, having that exposition in there in the first place is absolutely vital.

I hope that helps! :)

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[cherryonigiri]

S/O that thirsts over anime/game guys

reposted bc wasn’t showing up in the tags + I want to keep nsfw under the cut

@nononononojustno asked: Okay so could you write a headcanon where 2 random boys (can you pick then? I love all of boys from hq) and Ushi-kun where they walk on their gfs fangirling or thirsting over another anime/game character?And she was talking how hot he is? How they would react?👀😂 have a great day/night and dont forget to eat and get rest, love you💕

A/N: hahahahaha i laughed while writing this. FYI these are all based on legit crushes i had on anime/game characters at some point in my life - see if you’ve watched the shows i’ve watched :) ILY I PROMISE I’M DOING MY BEST TO EAT THREE MEALS A DAY AND GET ADEQUATE SLEEP MWAH. also i went overboard and added an extra boy bc why not. These are a little shorter since there were 4 characters but I hope you enjoy!

Content warning: implied nsfw for Atsumu + slight nsfw hcs for Matsukawa (both are under the cut)

PS: If anyone wants a spicy sequel/one shot for matsukawa i’m open to the idea 👀👀 let me know in my inbox!

Ushijima Wakatoshi

Ushijima definitely knows you’re into anime + games

Having visited your dorm room on multiple occasions he’s seen your extensive collection of manga, anime posters and you always seem to be playing on your switch whenever you have free time

Of course, he notices a significant portion of your collection is centered on male characters

And you’ve definitely mentioned a few games to him - Ikemen Sengoku, Code:Realize, Hakuouki (wow i’m really out here exposing myself) etc.

He doesn’t really mind though? Like - at the end of the day these are 2D men, whereas he is a very real boyfriend

At least he thinks he doesn’t mind

Recently, he notices that you seem to be on your phone a lot, and you seem to be texting the same group chat very often

He asks why and you laugh - it’s not actual text messages you’re just trying out a new otome/simulation game called Mystic Messenger. He finds the name silly but he just brushes it off he’s definitely J E A L O U S

Until one day he walks into your room while you’re calling one of your friends to freak out about that specific game

You sound kind of teary from outside the door “Oh MY GOD OH MY GOD I GOT THE GOOD ENDING WITH JUMIN!” and “[friend name] I THINK I CAN DIE HAPPY I’M MARRIED TO JUMIN HAN WHAT MORE DO I NEED IN LIFE” and “HE’S SO FREAKING ATTRACTIVE UGH I AM BLESSED”

He’s like who TF is Jumin and immediately bursts into your room looking pissed off

Poor babie is all like “you’re married?” and “if you had someone else you were interested in you should have told me.” “Who is this Jumin Han???” 🧐

Oh my god you start cackling, but you manage to tell him that NO you are not married and that Jumin Han is a fictional character from the game you’re playing

Ushijima looks confused after you explain - why would you find fictional men attractive when you’re already dating him?

Tendou almost dies laughing the next day when Ushijima tells him about what happened

Oikawa Tooru

Since practice finishes pretty late he usually goes to see you at your house at night, but tonight things wrapped up earlier - he’s excited to spend more time with you

You’ve finished up most of your homework so you’ve just been rewatching Attack on Titan since you’re super excited for the new season

You’re kinda distracted/have headphones on so you don’t hear your boyfriend knock on the front door. Your mom answers it and lets him in and he climbs the stairs

He can hear your fangirling (freaking out) over something as he walks towards your room

You jump in surprise when he opens the door, because you thought he would be a bit later but immediately release your pent up excitement

“Tooru just LOOK at him he’s such a bad ass like oh my gosh he literally has swords and he’s still running around slaying the MPs who have guns. God whenever he gets angry he looks so hot,” etc. etc.

You’re shoving your laptop in his face, showing him gifs and video of attack on titan, specifically the captain of the survey corps that you are obsessed with

Tooru gets it - for him its space, shitty alien films and astronomy. For you it’s video games and anime - or more specifically, handsome characters from said franchises

Even though he understand that it’s something you’re passionate about he still makes a whole show about whining how you’re in love with Levi Ackerman (lmao i still thirst over our favorite captain) instead of him

“y/n i’m taller than him! And more handsome! He has blood on him all the time! And he’s super annoying because he’s obsessed with cleaning.” *cue pouty Tooru*

You probably shouldn’t tell him that you are an avid follower of the levi x reader tag on tumblr

Tooru still somehow finds out you’re also reading reader insert fanfic and goes BERSERK with his pouting and whining - literally everyone and their mothers have heard his sob story about how “his darling y/n is leaving me for a short germaphobic asshole”

The rest of the team finds it hilarious - the end up pranking him by posting pictures of Levi in his school locker or texting them in the volleyball groupchat (Oikawa is Suffering™)

Makki and Mattsun get him a Levi keychain for his birthday and cackle when he chucks it violently into the nearest trash can

Miya Atsumu

Doesn’t really know you’re into anime/gaming at first

I don’t think that’s on purpose - Atsumu just has such a one track mind when it comes to volleyball and he’s always busy with practice

so he just kinda doesn’t really give all the anime merch in your room a second glance even though it’s a dead giveaway

I bet Atsumu secretly watches some superhero anime - probably shounen stuff like My Hero Academia, one punch man etc.

He probably starts to notice you’re into anime/games because you’ll play games on your phone/gaming device all the time

One day he notices you’re giggling + blushing while looking at your screen. He’s curious to he heads over to you when coach says they can have a break

Peeks over your shoulder because he wants to know what you’re playing - but instead he’s greeted by some 2D samurai guy called Harada Sanosuke asking you to marry him

“Huh, I didn’t know you were into this kinda stuff y/n” tries to sound playful but internally he is screaming / ?????? WOT I DIDN’T KNOW MY S/O WAS INTO OTOME GAMES

Atsumus pretty chill about it at first, he probably teases you a lot about playing the game but isn’t really bugged about it

“Maybe you should thirst over your boyfriend instead of a fictional character babe~”

I mean - he knows he’s attractive and why be jealous? You only really play the game when he’s busy and you don’t really let the game play seep into your dates/hangouts

But one time he walks in on you reading some ~spicy~ hakuouki x reader fanfic and he’s like are u serious

Like you were lowkey quiet screaming to yourself and muttering “omg omg omg” when he walked in and you definitely tried to close your laptop so he couldn’t see what was open in your browser

Too bad Atsumu has mad reflexes and manages to prevent you from making your computer go to sleep

Briefly skims whatever it was that you were reading and smirks at you

“Hey, if you really want something like this, why don’t you let your real boyfriend deliver” before kissing you

Matsukawa Issei

Look, Issei just wants a chill movie/tv show night where the two of you can bundle up on the couch and binge whatever anime you feel like

Has everything set up - this man is ready to go: snacks? he has all of your favorites, couch? filled with soft pillows + multiple pillows. Attire? Comfy sweatpants shirtless 🥵

Last time he chose the series for your binge sleepover so he let you choose what the two of you were gonna watch this time

Turns out you decided to watch Psycho-Pass - it seemed like a pretty cool show, he was down with the whole dystopia/psychological concept

Starts out pretty normal, is appreciating the action + mystery elements and is glad that you chose that show

About halfway through the anime you two decide to take a break - he goes to the kitchen to refill your snacks, leaving to stretch you back.

When he comes back with more food, he notices that you’re hunched over your phone, typing something

He sneaks up behind you after he puts the food down, “Whatcha reading there babe?” You squeak and try to hide your phone, but not before he sees the words kougami x reader typed into your tumblr search bar

Lit-rally exCuSE me what - he’s not mad (more amused than anything else) but he also kind wants to tease you (bc Mattsun is a little shit)

“Is that the reason you wanted to watch this show?” he asks playfully. “He’s pretty hot tho, I kinda agree with you there babe.”

Now that he’s released the floodgate, he can’t stop your occasional comments like “omg how does he look so GOOD when he’s punching someone” or “he could shoot me with his dominator and i’d still say thank you”

The thirst comments are kinda getting to him, so he decides to take things in a different direction

“Let me what I can show you with my dominator~” L M A O I’M SORRY THIS EXISTS

Suddenly you’re being pulled onto his lap, and pressed against his bare chest, Issei barely gives you time to adjust before he’s kissing you roughly, tongue plunging into your mouth

His hands wrap around your hips pressing your core closer to his own, and you can feel his hard-on pressing into your stomach

He’ll be sure to suck a dark hickey onto the side of your neck and his hands travel under your shirt, just to remind you who your real boyfriend is

Needless to say, you won’t remember a single thing about the second half of the show after the night is over couch sex? Couch sex 😏

[wing-ed-thing]

Fraternizing and Spineless (Kabuto x Reader, Part IV)

Synopsis: Kabuto has a fixation and you sometimes apologize to inanimate objects. Ever since one fateful day, you’ve been drawn to each other from opposite sides of the battlefield.

Word Count: 3,429

Warnings/Tags: @tiktoktheclockisticking​ Bullying, Language, ANGST CITY, Alcohol, Side Iruka x Reader, Fem!Reader

Part I Part II Part III Part IV Part V Part VI Finale

Notes: I’m fully expecting to get messages in my inbox that range drastically in forcefulness. Perhaps a “how dare you” or two. 

You stood outside of Shushu-ya, almost as if you expected to be told to come in. A silly notion. With a heavy sigh, you clenched the warped gift in your hands, starting to regret the shoes you wore among other things. But you know you couldn’t back out now. You couldn’t miss Iruka’s birthday. Your reluctant hand grasped the door and before you could chicken out, you heaved it open.

The group was easy to spot, even in Shushu-ya’s dim lighting. Everyone gathered around the bar. A few people sat in a large, open booth. The crowd made you nervous, but you couldn’t help but feel a semblance of relief. You weren’t the first one there. Iruka spotted you immediately and waved you over. You took a sharp inhale before forcing yourself across the restaurant with a smile. You were, at the very least, glad to see him.

Iruka got up from his spot at the end of the extensive, circular seating and greeted you warmly. Knowing him, he sat at the end just to see people come in the door. He extended his arms to you in a hug. You happily embraced him. It had been quite some time since you got to spend any quality time with your friend. You handed him his present.

“As usual, you’re always so thoughtful.” Iruka pursed his lips, a sentimental expression coming upon him. Even still, the corners of his lips turned upward into that classic Iruka grin. “You didn’t have to.”

“It’s your birthday, Iruka. Of course I’m going to get you something nice.”

Iruka motioned for you to sit down and carefully placed your gift in the pile he had accumulated. You took a seat among two ninjas who you only knew by name. Iruka sat down next to who you were fairly sure you recognized as Kakashi of the Sharingan. The mask made it difficult to tell. You took your place next to Might Guy, the Leaf’s Green, Taijutsu Beast. You looked over to Iruka and wondered how he made such powerful friends. You supposed it was hard to not be acquainted with any famous shinobi in Konoha. Perhaps that’s what happened when you weren’t afraid to talk to people. You spied a few more of your colleagues around the bar, including your teammates from the last mission you took. They didn’t seem particularly pleased about your presence, but no one was going to impulsively make a fuss in front of Iruka.

You kept your head down and that’s where it stayed. The conversation went, for the most part, without you. You ordered a water quietly. You weren’t the type to drink, especially when you were as on edge as you were in this particular setting. The waiter set down your glass, making a sort of a sour face. You stared at the clear liquid, supposing that not many ordered water from a bar.

“That’s all you’re going to get?” You looked up into Kakashi’s intense eye. “You know you’re not on the clock, right?” He chuckled and you nervously laughed with him.

“Don’t listen to him.” Iruka rolled his eyes before taking a sip of his own drink. His kind gaze found yours. “You can do whatever you want, just know that the tab is already taken care of.” He looked past you and waved towards the bar. The bartender waved back.

“No, no. I completely understand!” Guy wrapped an arm around you, holding you a bit too close for the volume of his voice. You immediately let go of your drink. Your eyes went wide as he shook you with every word. “You gotta watch out for that hangover! Very smart! I commend you!” Kakashi tsked, tilting his head towards Iruka.

“Such a bad host, letting her sit next to Guy like that.” Iruka laughed sheepishly.

“Sorry,” He scratched at the back of his neck. “I guess the seat was open for a reason.” Guy pouted at the discourse across the table, arm still wrapped around your shoulder.

“Nonsense! Tease me all you like but I just know that… uh…” He turned to you with an outstretched hand and as much embarrassment as Might Guy was capable of. “What was your name again?” You took his much larger hand in yours and spoke your name, realizing that you hadn’t prior. He immediately shouted your name as if to commit it to memory, shaking you even harder than before. His shout got the attention of the rest of the booth and you suddenly your self consciousness skyrocketed. “—and we’re going to be best friends by the time the night is over! What do you think? You down for a party?” And suddenly you were expected to respond. You glanced around nervously.

“Um, yeah. Sure thing… I just think it’s really nice how everyone’s together.” Despite your response, you still felt like a bug under a magnifying glass. Sweat began to bead on your brow and your palms. You crossed your legs. “I feel like everyone’s always on missions so it’s nice to be among friends. And um, I can drink to that.” You glanced around the table once more, to Guy, to Kakashi, and then Iruka. Iruka’s eyes fluttered shut.

“I couldn’t say it better myself.” You raised your water weakly.

“Happy Birthday, Iruka.” Iruka raised his glass of sake and a roar went around the booth and extended to the bar. Someone hastily ordered a round of shots for the whole group. They came quickly, likely due to whatever likely large tip Iruka gave to the bartender.

One slid across the hard surface over to you. You gripped it between your fingers. The alcohol went down your throat with a steady burn. You let out a gasp with a bat of your eyes. The aftertaste of the ethanol burned your nasal cavity. Kakashi let out a deep laugh. Guy patted you hard on the back causing you to cough. Iruka smiled, ordering another round. You took another shot. People filtered in the door. And as the night went on, the three of you took to greeting Iruka’s guests along with him. The party crew quickly overtook the bar. A dull roar overtook Shushu-ya.

More words spilled from your mouth than you thought ever would in one sitting. Your three colleagues listened to you intently, jovially, and exchanged stories of their own. A small crowd gathered around your booth, members flitting from the bar and back. And for once in your life, people actually listened to you. You told your stories animatedly, waving your hands in emphasis. You took in the smiles around you, tales of missions and edgy impressions flying from your lips. Distracted, you hardly noticed the looks exchanged by your old teammates as they leaned against the low back of the booth.

“And I said, ‘You don’t need a rag, you need a towel’!” All those gathered around you burst out in hysterics. You felt the low rumble of Guy next to you. Iruka couldn’t pick his head up from the table. Kakashi yanked him up by his collar, revealing Iruka’s red, cackling expression. Kakashi snorted, dropping the cloth under his hand to cover his own face as he mocked his longtime friend. Joyful tears were still welled in your eyes when a slender hand clamped onto your shoulder.

You looked behind you only to become face to face with the kunoichi from your team. Her ever prevalent scowl remained plastered to her lips but they swiftly upturned into a sickly sweet smile.

“Hey, why don’t you tell everyone about our last mission? Or should I say, your last mission.” Your eyes widened and a chill coursed down your spine, remembering her unforgiving grasp on your hair following your meeting with the Hokage. You clenched your fists underneath the table, balling up the fabric of your clothing. What did she want from you? She crinkled her nose at you smugly. “Shy all of the sudden? That’s okay, I can tell it.” You heard Kakashi clap his hands together. You jumped.

“I’m always down for a good mission story,” He admitted eagerly. You shook your head vigorously.

“No, this one’s not very interest—” Another hard slap on your shoulder. Her nails dug into your shoulder.

“You don’t give yourself enough credit. I think they’ll all find this very interesting.” The kunoichi settled into her spot behind you, shifting her weight as she leaned forward. With a finger, she pointed out your two other team members. “See we were assigned with this one to find a scroll in a territory suspected of being owned by Orochimaru. ‘Cause she’s a wonder at blending in, right? That’s what we were told. And of course you know how these things go. Of course we find someone. Some bitch of Orochimaru—”

And as she described it, you could remember the scene vividly. Your teammates were reckless in their fighting and overall poor choices for a stealth mission. Flashy jutsu corrupted the frame of the underground system. The walls began to crack and shake. Your enemy had been caught off guard and outnumbered. Seeming to be already injured, there was only so much he could do to fight back. That was how you met Kabuto Yakushi.

“And so she doesn’t even warn us that the tunnel is, like, about to collapse. Some freak earthquake or something. So the enemy is knocked out cold and we’re running and running to try to find a way out and—”

You dove towards him. You didn’t know what drew you towards him in the first place but that’s what you did. As your team left without you, you tried your best to save the young ninja who had to only be as old as you. You tried to drag him but either you were too frail or he was too heavy. Your second option. Your hands ignited in healing jutsu, flickering on and off. You were by no means a healer, but your only thought in your panic was to get him awake. And as the maze of tunnels imploded around you, your world went black.

“So we don’t see her for days. You know, we think she’s dead. So in the meantime, we check out the other places on our list. Nada. We’re about to completely give up and then, wouldn’t you know, this one shows up having spent almost a week in enemy territory holding the exact thing we were looking for. Zero scratches and she apparently ‘doesn’t remember’ anything about it. Don’t you think that’s funny?” The kunoichi motions to your other teammates.

“I remember it being very funny,” One huffs, arms crossed. The small surrounding crown had gone silent. You dared to look across the table. Kakashi sat with his arms on the table, wordless. Iruka pursed his lips, equally expressionless. He cleared his throat. An awkward overtone laced the atmosphere.

“Well I think that’s enough of that—”

“Well, I wasn’t done. Almost there, though, I promise.” The kunoichi held up her hand. “‘Cause wouldn’t you know it? When we got back to the village, we found out that the scroll was a fake.”

“Well,” You squeaked, “Later we did find out that it was authentic after all—”

“But that was later,” She snapped. She ruffled your hair roughly, giving your head a slight push as she finally took her hands off of you. “Still doesn’t explain where you got it from.” She leaned in towards your ear. “Traitor.”

“Okay that’s enough.” Iruka stood from his seat. He extended his arm towards the door. “You three have clearly had too much to drink. I think it’s time for you to go home.” The kunoichi scoffed.

“We haven’t had too much of anything,” She snorted with a roll of her eyes and opened her mouth to say more. Guy turned with the most serious expression you had seen from him all night.

“He’s giving you an out. I suggest you take it.” He told her and apparently, that’s all it took for them to leave.

Iruka apologized for your team’s behavior but said nothing more about it for the rest of your time present. Most of the partygoers stuck to the bar now. Everything was off and you knew it would be as long as you were there. Your friends could hardly look you in the eye properly. You remained for a little while longer, starting to feel dreadfully sober. And when you thought you wouldn’t draw too much attention, you announced that you were leaving.

“Let me walk you out.” Guilt rattled around in your chest. It was Iruka’s birthday and you ruined it, just like you thought you would. And yet, he still offered to walk you out.

You allowed it, suddenly finding yourself standing outside of Shushu-ya, Iruka by your side. Even as the door closed behind you, you could hear the sound of Konoha’s nightlife. You waited for Iruka to speak, but the weight on your shoulders became unbearable.

“I’m not leaving because of you, you know. I had a good time. I really did, so go back in there and know that, okay?” You tried to read his face. He looked conflicted and the pounding of your heart only increased.

“I just want you to know that you have a friend. Eh, friends. No matter what.” You blinked at him a few times. You didn’t like how he said that last part.

“No matter what?” You let out a nervous laugh for the umpteenth time that night. Your eyes wandered erratically. “What do you mean by that?” You were expecting some reassurance, but none came. Your mind filled in the blanks. You took a step back. He took a step forward. “No matter if I sold out the Leaf? Is that what you’re telling me?”

“I-I didn’t say that.” He stammered. Suddenly frantic. “Don’t put words in my mouth.”

“Well, you’re not denying it.” You gripped onto your strap bag. Another step back. Another step forward.

“I don’t think you sold out the Leaf. Not on purpose.” The tail end of that sentence stung. You began to tremble. Another person who thought that you were a traitor. “Listen, I had a student once. He’s out of the Academy now but he was in your shoes once.” You couldn’t look at him. You focused on your shoes, the shoes you’ve regretted wearing. “I know how guys like that are. I know how manipulative they can be, how they can convince you into doing something that you know you don’t want to do.” Your head snapped up.

“I didn’t do anything wrong. I wasn’t convinced to do anything wrong by anyone.”

“I know how kind you are. I know that you had a good heart. No one’s going to blame you if someone took advantage of that. I don’t care what happened. We’ve known each other forever. I’ll always be here for you.” Iruka gently placed his hands on your shoulders and his forehead against yours. You became cognisant of how violently you quaked. You didn’t even register his confession. The sharp burning between your eyes threatened to spill over into tears.

“Iruka, please stop. Just tell me that you believe me.” You gripped onto his forearm, wanting to feel a semblance of comfort. “I’m not a traitor.”

“I do believe you.” Unconvincing. You looked into his eyes, salty droplets now silently streaming down your cheeks.

“I didn’t do anything wrong.” Iruka nodded against you without a word. A beat. You gulped. “And Kabuto didn’t either.”

He pulled away, trying to fight a frown from crossing his face. You could see it. The realization morphing his features. Iruka tried his best not to show any of his mixed emotions, but he was always one to wear his heart on his sleeve. The corners of his mouth twitched.

“Who? The bingo book ninja?” He shoved a hand in his pocket. He always did that when he was nervous. “No, I’m sure he didn’t. D-didn't do anything wrong.” Once again, unconvincing.

“I’m sorry, I don’t feel well. Please, uh, I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” You didn’t look back. You ran home.

***

When you got to your apartment, you dropped to the floor. You scrambled for a kunai to pry open the floorboard. Throwing the plank aside, you plucked out the scroll. Unraveling it, you bit your finger, smearing your blood across the summoning symbol.

You were already starting to scurry off when Kabuto appeared. You walked right through the white cloud of smoke. He felt troubled, but that wasn’t something you picked up on. Kabuto immediately pulled out a scalpel in defense, ready for an emergency fight. You didn’t even tell him to lower his weapon. You didn’t blink twice. You stormed straight to your wardrobe, yanking out a large travel bag.

“What’s going on? I thought you were going out tonight.” Kabuto asked, but you ignored him, stuffing belongings inside the bag. You skittered frantically around the room, pulling sentimental belongings from your drawers and off your shelves. Kabuto looked on helplessly as you muttered to yourself. He could hardly catch you with how erratically you darted around your small living space. With enough calculation, he caught you, grabbing you by your wrists. You struggled against him. “Hey, hey, hey slow down. Tell me what happened.”

You looked up at him, rivulets still flowing from your eyes.

“Please, Kabuto,” You begged. “Let’s run away together.”

His immediate response was to let go of you, stumbling a bit backwards.

“What?” His mouth went dry.

“I—” You couldn’t even get your thoughts straight. You just spoke, everything spilling out of you. —“Please take me away from here.” Ever-suave, Kabuto found himself panicked.

“I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“I’ve killed a lot of people for one thing—” You met his eyes, but in your haze you missed all that they told. You saw complete and utter rejection.

“Aren’t you the one who always tells me that you’re not my enemy? You’re all I have.” Betrayal. If Kabuto could name the expression that washed over your face that would be it. You wiped the wetness from your skin with your sleeve. “Please, you know I would be quiet. You could have any of my books. I don’t even care about shoes on my bed. I don’t even need a bed just please let’s go right now!”

And for all of his big talk, Kabuto was at a loss. He wanted to. More than anything he wanted to scoop you off of your feet then and there, but he couldn’t. It wasn’t an option. He couldn’t bring you to Orochimaru. You were supposed to be here in the Leaf. You belonged here in the Leaf. This was where you could be happiest, not on the run with him. He’s caused enough damage to your life.

“I can’t.” That was all he managed to make out without his voice cracking. And as he looked into your large, wet eyes, his heart shattered.

“You can’t or you won’t?”

“I-I can’t. I—” He kicked himself. —“You’ll be happier here.”

“I’ll be happier with you,” You pleaded. You balled up your hands in the front of his shirt. “Please, I love you.” Kabuto diverted his eyes from yours, clenching them shut.

“No, you don’t.” He placed his hands over yours, gingerly trying to remove you from him but you stood firm. “You’re drunk. I’m sure that if you go to bed you’ll feel better in the morning.”

“I’m not drunk!” You argued, getting even more desperate than you already were. “You told me to gather up some nerve so here it is! I love you! Please let’s go, just you and me. We can start over—” And with a few quick hand signs, you fell asleep.

Kabuto’s hand hovered over your forehead. He could see your fear, feel it too. He caught you as you began to collapse and brought you over to the bed. Knowing your recovery speed, the jutsu wouldn’t last for long. Perhaps it would last a half hour, maybe less. Anyone else and he would have expected them to be out for the rest of the night. He covered you with your blanket and sat at the edge of the bed, ready to recast his spell when you began to come to for the rest of the night. He knew that if you kept talking, he would have done exactly what you asked. Kabuto buried his head in his hands and uncharacteristically, for the first time in years, began to sob.

Thank you to everyone who liked, reblogged, and followed. Your support means so much and is greatly appreciated.

[gogoseijoh]

losing - kageyama x reader x tsukishima

summary: kageyama realizes he’s losing his best friend, and longtime crush, to his rival.

genre: angst with a little fluff?

a/n: welcome to my first fic :) angsty kageyama and lovestruck tsukki... i couldn’t help myself. i think this is gonna be multiple chapters i have a lotttt of ideas. also trying to make tsukki soft while still being in character?? tough

word count: 2.2k

part 2

Kageyama could not imagine you not being by his side. You had been best friends since you were in diapers, and there were pictures of you two in the bath together from before you could remember each other. He didn’t deserve you, and he knew that. You had stood with him through every temper tantrum and bad mood and had done it with a gentle smile and comforting words. You were the only person that Kageyama consistently apologized to, always shyly hanging his head and whispering the words, only to have you laugh and take his hand, “Oh, Tobio, you silly boy. I’ll always forgive you!” He never understood why you stayed, but he was happy you did. Some of your other friends questioned why you were so steadfast in your loyalty to the dark haired boy, and you always responded calmly, saying, “Well, what would he do without me?” You were everything he wasn’t, a level headed companion to a boy prone to raging when things didn’t go his way. Your dynamic was one not understood by anyone else, but the friendship did not require understanding. You were the kindest person he knew, and he would be damned if he let go of you. 

It was around the entrance of high school that Kageyama realized he had begun to like you, or at least to realize that he liked you. You had chosen to go to Karasuno, and when he didn’t get in to Shiratorizawa, it seemed like the natural choice to follow you. He had heard rumors that the old coach Ukai was coming back, and that was just a bonus to getting to stay with you. He made his choice directly after finding out he hadn’t gotten in to Shiratorizawa, when you held his head in your lap, carding your fingers through his hair and told him that he could be the best no matter where he went. That was the first moment that he felt his heart swell in his chest, snuggling down into your thighs as you reassured him. He could smell your laundry detergent, a scent that curled around him and held him close. He sat up and looked at you, which made you blink in surprise, but not as much surprise as you felt when Kageyama mumbled, “Thank you for being here for me.” You didn’t know what to say, so you said nothing, instead opting to lean forward and pull him into a hug, your arms tight around his neck as his slipped to hold your waist. He felt so comfortable there with you, wishing he could stay there with you forever. 

Once beginning high school, your enthusiasm for Kageyama’s love for volleyball only grew when he found a strong team, and was stoked even more when Kiyoko asked you to assist her in managing them. You accepted immediately, and thus began you spending all your time with the Karasuno volleyball club. You were startled at first, not expecting how ferocious Tanaka and Nishinoya would be in their attempts to woo you, but them flirting with you became a source of entertainment, and unbeknownst to you, something that aggravated Kageyama to no end. He did his best to hide how much it bothered him, and did pretty well for the most part, except for the time when Hinata asked him what was wrong with his face. Things only got worse for him from there. Kageyama walked you home religiously, and when you started managing with Kiyoko, the rest of the team joined you on at least part of your journey. You typically stuck close to the setter, chatting animatedly about you day while he munched on the snack you always brought him for after practice. It was one night that you were walking along, giggling and messing around with Hinata, when Kageyama felt a presence next to him. He rolled his eyes when he saw Tsukishima, the blonde’s headphones pulled down around his neck. He had been bugging Kageyama more than usual lately, and it seemed as though it wouldn’t be stopping any time soon, “You know, I have no idea how she puts up with you, your Majesty.” He didn’t need to question his meaning, only rolling his eyes once again and taking larger steps to get away from him, but he paused when Tsukishima’s voice met his ears again, “She’s too good for you, but you must know that, right?” 

Kageyama was about to snap back when you joined him once again, slipping between him and Tsukishima. You didn’t seem to pick up on any of the tension between the two young men, instead turning to the bespeckled boy, “Tsukishima! You did great at practice today!” Kageyama didn’t miss the way your cheeks began to blush when you looked up at the other first year. All of a sudden, what Tsukishima said sunk in for your best friend. He did know you were to good for him, and that was part of the issue he was having. He had been desperately trying to ask you out for a few months, but every time he tried, he started thinking about your best qualities. You were selfless, sacrificing your own needs to satisfy those of the people around you. Your heart was so excessively big, wanting everyone around you to be happy, and sometimes Kageyama was forced to wonder what he brought to your friendship. Every day, he felt honored that you had chosen him to bestow your friendship on, but what did he give you? Those things ran through his mind even deeper as he watched you interact with Tsukishima. His eyes flitted between you and the taller boy, and he was even more shocked at what he saw. Tsukishima’s lips were fighting the curl of a smile as he looked down at you, a dusting of pink across his cheeks. That was the moment he realized that Tsukki hadn’t only said those things to torment him, but also out of jealousy. 

Heat crawled up the brunette’s neck, abruptly interrupting your conversation, “(y/n), let’s take the shortcut today.” He nodded towards the side road to the right of him that you two had found out cuts about five minutes off your walk home. You never took that route on nights you walked home from volleyball, instead choosing to stay with the rest of your classmates, but Kageyama wanted to get you away from Tsukishima. 

Your eyes shifted to Kageyama, then back to Tsukishima, a shy smile on your face, “Okay, Tobio. Bye, Tsukki!” You bounded behind Kageyama, who had already begun taking large strides away from you. Tsukki. You called him Tsukki. Yamaguchi was the only one who called him that. Yamaguchi was the only one who he let call him that. That nickname usually caused Tsukishima to snap at the speaker, but when you said it, he was quiet, the ghost of a grin on his face as he slipped his headphones back over his ears. That was the first moment that Kageyama felt you slipping away from him. 

The second came a week later, again after a practice. As your group made its way out of Karasuno’s campus, you dug in your backpack for the snack you packed for Kageyama, Hinata was bouncing around him, talking about how cool it will be when their quick attack is perfected, and Kageyama is attempting to listen, but when he sees you pull a protein bar out of your bag and hand it to Tsukishima, he nearly felt his head pop off. Tsukishima paused when you offered it to him before slowly taking it, his fingers brushing yours as he thanked you. You blushed before pulling another bar out, turning your head over your shoulder to call Kageyama over, slipping it into his hand when he met you. You walked between the two again, chatting to Yamaguchi, who was walking on the other side of the tall blonde. Kageyama zoned out, his mind racing with thoughts. Part of him felt like he was majorly overreacting, as it really was just a snack, but he knew you. He knew how you acted when you liked someone, and it always starting with the sharing of snacks. In middle school, when you liked Kunimi, you always brought extras in your lunch to share with him. Typically, you were picky about sharing your food, only doing it for Kageyama, but once you started crushing on someone, it was a given that you’d begin doing it for the person as well. It wasn’t a good sign for Kageyama.

Then the texting began. You were in Kageyama’s room on a Saturday, sitting on the floor with books sprawled all over between you two. You were trying to help him with mathematics, and he was doing some practice problems while you laid down across from him. Your phone kept pinging, messages flowing to your inbox. Each time you picked it up, you’d smile and type something back, before putting it back down and sighing. Then the cycle continued. When you eventually went to the bathroom, Kageyama couldn’t help his wandering eyes.

[tsukki :)] 3:47 pm 

I like talking to you too.

Kageyama scowled. Tsukishima wasn’t nice. He had never been that nice to anyone, not even Yamaguchi, at least not in public. But now, here was this text, confirming that Tsukishima had some sort of positive feeling for you. Kageyama liked to think that he’d be okay with it if you were just friends with him, but he didn’t even want that. He felt stupid, you could be friends with anyone you wanted. You weren’t his girlfriend, and even if you were, he knew he would never tell you whether or not you could be friends with anyone, but it wasn’t just anyone. It was Tsukishima. Tsukishima, who constantly did his best to get under his skin. Tsukishima, whose smile was almost always caused by jokes at others expense. How could it be him? Kageyama would understand if it was anyone else. If you found yourself swept off your feet by Sugawara or Yamaguchi, he would have been more understanding. Even if you had begun to date Hinata, God forbid, he would have been able to calm himself down. But Tsukishima? How could someone as kind and caring as you like him? You, someone who was willing spending her Saturday with him, trying to help him understand schoolwork. He couldn’t understand. He pretended he hadn’t seen the text, but you knew something was off, because for the rest of the day, he was easily frustrated and unable to focus. You hummed, “Kageyama, let’s take a break and watch a movie or something.” You played with his hair while you watched whatever he put on. The only thing that he could think of the whole time was that eventually, Tsukishima would be the one getting this attention from you.

Things started to really change after that day. Twice a week, you started eating lunch with Tsukishima and Yamaguchi, which you invited him to, but he refused. He didn’t want to be around the two of you, with your shy glances at him and his eyes drinking in your every move. He didn’t want to see the way he looked at you. Kageyama knew that he likely had the same look when he saw you, but he hated seeing that adoration for you in someone else’s eyes. It was even worse when you were at practice, standing next to Kiyoko and watching Tsukishima with wide eyes. Kageyama wondered if there had ever been a time where you looked at him with the same amazement. For a while, your interactions stayed friendly, the only real giveaway being your eyes. Then, one day during the walk home, Kageyama noticed that Tsukishima had traded his headphones in for earbuds. The reason was clear when he passed one earbud to you, placing the other in his ear as you two walked side by side. Tanaka and Noya were cackling behind the two of you, joking about how the typically apathetic boy was going to get a girlfriend before any of the rest of them. You were far enough ahead of the group that you didn’t hear them jesting. Then, the unthinkable happened. The whole team watched as Tsukishima slipped his hand into yours, his entire face engulfed in a crimson blush. Your steps slowed down, looking at him in pure awe. He had continued on, and his hand tugging you along, causing you to jump forward to catch up to him. All your friends were chattering behind you, all except Kageyama, who had fallen to the back of the group. He didn’t want to see the two of you. His eyes were locked on his feet as he walked, and it wasn’t until a hand clasped on his shoulder that he looked up. It was Suga, whose warm eyes held an understanding that soothed Kageyama. “You doing okay, Kageyama?” Suga’s gentle voice lilted. Kageyama shrugged, causing the older boy to speak again, “I know it’s hard, but just give it time.” Time. Kageyama wanted to scoff at that, but instead he just nodded, not wanting to seem rude when his upperclassmen was trying to comfort him. If time was any fair, wouldn’t you be his by now? “Fair” wasn’t a word he would apply to this situation at all. The way he felt now was the same itch he got when he lost a game, and the ache that came with losing settled in his spine, making a home in the base of his neck. Losing, and to his own teammate no less.

[hockeylvr59]

It Started with a DM || Jake Debrusk

Requested: [ ] yes [x] no

Authors Note: Just another little something that demanded to be written. I was honestly debating on whether or not to write it and then JD went live today and obviously it was a sign.

Warnings: features quarantine as a setting, some cursing. 

Word Count: 3,828

~~~~~~~~~

Being quarantined alone was well, to put it simply, lonely. As a freelance photographer, you were for the most part out of work. You didn’t have a significant other to keep you company, there wasn’t space at your parents’ for you to go home, and your apartment didn’t allow pets. On top of all of that, sports were canceled. Specifically hockey. 

The combination of all of this left an empty hole in your heart and lots of time on your hands. Missing hockey was the whole reason you started watching twitch streams. If you couldn’t have hockey at least you could have hockey players playing video games. You’d started with Zach Hyman and Mitch Marner because Toronto was on a shortlist of teams you were fairly indifferent about. But after a week or so you found yourself watching David Pastrnak because he was on almost daily around dinnertime and it gave you something to listen to while you cooked. Watching Pasta’s streams had led to your introduction to Jake Debrusk and it was silly how the sound of his voice and his laugh brought a smile to your face. It was even sillier because you were absolutely not a Boston fan. Especially not after they knocked your Hurricanes out of the playoffs last season. 

Still, each time that your phone received a notification that Jake had come online you immediately stopped whatever you were doing to watch. You weren’t part of the group that regularly played with him and Pasta, nor did you even really participate in the chats, you just watched. And for a couple hours each time, you felt a little less alone. For weeks this continued, with you only popping in to chat to wish Jake’s sister a happy birthday when he let her take over his stream for a little bit. To be honest you were just grateful for something to do. Never did you expect to log on one day to find a whisper sitting in your inbox. 

Jdebrusk: Hey. Saw you’ve watched quite a few of my streams. Just wanted to reach out and say thanks. 

You weren’t shocked by the fact that he could see a list of viewers, you kind of expected that. What shocked you was the fact that he actually cared enough to reach out to some stranger who he had never actually interacted with before. You weren’t sure what had pushed you to respond, maybe it was the Southern friendliness or maybe it was something else but after typing and deleting a response multiple times you finally pressed send and then immediately closed your browser in a failed attempt to not freak out. 

Yourusername: Pretty sure I should be thanking you for sharing your time with us and making things a little easier. 

____

With no one you followed coming online to stream for a few days, you didn’t even check the site to see if Jake had responded. But when you next logged on and saw a message notification once again you found yourself getting nervous for no reason as you opened it. 

Jdebrusk: Well you’re welcome. Feel free to join in the chat anytime. Streaming has helped keep my family from driving me insane.  

Yourusername: I’m more of a lurker. It’s just easier. And family can be a lot but be grateful you aren’t just staring at 4 walls every day. 

Stepping away from your computer you grabbed your camera and attempted to go for a walk to take some aesthetic shots. As you slipped your memory card into the computer a while later, you noticed another notification. 

Jdebrusk:  Fair enough. You quarantining alone? 

Yourusername: yep. But I guess it could be worse. I could live where it’s snowing in May. 

Jdebrusk: Can I ask where you’re at?

For a split second you debated giving up this information but it didn’t seem like giving away your state could hurt. 

Yourusername: North Carolina. 

Jdebrusk: Nice! Cool state. Been there a few times. 

Yourusername: I’m aware. No need to rub in sweeping my team, Debrusk. 

Jdebrusk: And she’s got a sense of humor ladies and gentlemen. Well, or he...I guess I don’t even know that. AWKWARD. 

Yourusername: She works. 

Jdebrusk: Cool cool. So a hurricanes fan huh? 

Yourusername: Yeah. My family would probably disown me if they knew I was talking to a Bruin. 

Jdebrusk: Yowza. 

Yourusername: So if anyone asks I’m only here for Rocky appearances. ;)

Jdebrusk: She’s only here for my cat. Got it. 

You couldn’t explain why talking with Jake felt so easy but it did. When he came on to stream next you chirped him through whispers the entire time and seeing his reaction in real-time as he read them had you giggling uncontrollably. By the time he got off, you were just waiting for his comments to come streaming your way. Instead of some long-winded rant brushing off all your jabs you just got a single comment in response. 

Jdebrusk: It’s not fair that you can chirp me and I don’t know anything about you. 

Yourusername: What do you want to know? 

Jdebrusk: I mean your name would be a good start. Age might also be important...you’re not like 12 right? 

Yourusername: Would I be quarantining alone if I was 12? I’m 24. Y/N. 

Jdebrusk: right. Right. Y/N from Carolina. Who likes cats. Got it. Are you a student or…?

Yourusername: Freelance Photographer. 

Jdebrusk:  Alright. Nice. Do you do like weddings or nature stuff or what?

Yourusername: A little bit of everything. @wildflowerphotography is my company name if you want to go on insta and see some of my work. 

No reply followed and you tried not to dwell on it. Instead you poured a glass of wine, lit a few candles, and settled into your bathtub, trying to relax for bed. Still nagging thoughts lingered in your brain. Was sharing your company page too much? He probably wasn’t asking for you to promote yourself, he was just being polite right? Though you hated yourself for letting it bother you, you were the type of person who overthought everything...which thinking about it was probably why you were still single. 

Your anxious thoughts lingered and you tossed and turned all night before finally pulling yourself out of bed the next morning. It was only as you dug through your company dms, responding to a few potential clients that wanted you to take socially distant photos for them that you stumbled upon a familiar username. 

Jdebrusk: You took all of those? Holy shit that’s talent. 

The timestamp showed the message was sent only twenty minutes after you gave him the username and you sighed to yourself before chuckling at the fact that Jake was too lazy to switch back to twitch to respond. 

Wildflowerphotography: Thanks. I’m really proud of them all. 

It was still early in the morning so there was no way he was awake with the two hour time difference so after making yourself some breakfast you took another short walk, trying anything to get your mind off of the loneliness that felt worse today than most days. Your mood had definitely been a rollercoaster recently with higher peaks and lower lows than normal. It was something you were trying to manage the best you could but sometimes it was just hard. 

With the rest of your afternoon spent binging a random tv show you didn’t even look at your phone until dinner time, but waiting for you was another dm from the Canadian hockey player. 

Jdebrusk: You should be. 

Jdebrusk: So listen...this is probably weird but can I get your number so I can stop wading through a bunch of dms and whispers I don’t care about and just talk to you? 

It was a fair question but to be blunt, today was probably the worst day for him to ask because your anxiety-riddled brain kept wanting to know why he even cared about talking to you. You didn’t know what he was looking for from all of this but your mind immediately assumed the worst. So instead of just being open with him, you blew him off, completely ignoring his message. And when he logged onto twitch next, though you wanted to watch, you forced yourself to avoid that as well. 

Three days passed before another message appeared. 

Jdebrusk: You okay? You didn’t watch the last stream. I’m sorry if I fucked up. I’ll back off if you want...I just want to know that you’re okay. 

The concern he was expressing was honestly something you didn’t expect and you found yourself crying as you read it over and over. Jake was nothing but a joyous person and the last thing you wanted was to bring him down with the mess of your own mind. 

Wildflowerphotography: you didn’t fuck up. I just...this is all on me okay. 

With your phone left open to your message string with him you watched as little dots appeared before vanishing repeatedly. Eventually a new message appeared simply containing a string of numbers composing a phone number. Jake was putting the ball in your court and a few minutes later the part of you that was aching to hear his voice won the mental war and you found yourself dialing the number. 

“Y/N?” Jake questioned the second he answered and a shaky sob slipped from your throat at the sound of him speaking your name for the first time. “What’s going on?” He murmured and by his tone you could tell he was both confused and concerned. You wanted to speak, wanted to pretend everything was fine but you’d already gone over the edge and it was too late for that now. Another sob spilled through your body and you faintly heard Jake mumble a curse. “Do you want me to just talk to you? I’ll just keep talking okay and you can hang up if you want.” He offered. And talk he did, you weren’t even sure what he was telling you, you were more focused on the grounding sound of his voice itself rather than the content of the words he was speaking. Eventually your breathing steadied out and the elephant sitting on your chest lessened allowing you to murmur his name. 

The second he heard your voice he paused mid-story.

“Thank you.” You whispered into the phone. 

“Are you okay?” He inquired, his voice tentative like he was worried anything he said would push you back over the edge. 

“Better.” You admitted. “Not great but better.” 

“I’ll take better.” He insisted. “It’s nice to actually hear your voice.” He added, causing your cheeks to flame up unconsciously. You opened your mouth to apologize again for your breakdown only to be stopped as he insisted you not do so. “But really...are you okay?” He repeated his question and you sighed. 

“It’s been a rough few days mentally for me.” You admitted. “But I will be okay.” You added. 

“Okay enough to stop ignoring me?” He teased and when you let out another shaky breath he backtracked. “It’s okay, I get it. I was just worried. You don’t have to talk to me ever again if you don’t want to.” 

“I do want to.” You breathed. “Talk to you that is.” As if he sensed you had more to say, Jake remained quiet, only the sound of his breathing coming through the phone. 

“I guess...you should probably know that I tend to overthink things. I want to talk to you. Hearing your voice makes my entire day. I just...I guess I’m just confused on why you want to talk to me. What your intentions are, etc. And you...you don’t have to answer that just...that’s where my head is at.” 

Jake was silent for a minute before his voice reached back through the phone. 

“I’ll be honest, I don’t know what this is either. But I’m intrigued by you and I guess my intention is just to get to know you better if you’ll let me.” Jake’s honesty was refreshing and you nodded even though he couldn’t see you. “And if I can make your day just by talking...well that’s a pretty sweet bonus.” 

______

Quarantine continued to drag on, paused only by some carefully planned photo sessions with your distance lenses getting extra abuse. You continued talking to Jake, mostly through text but with the occasional phone call. He’d whine about the crap he was getting from his sister when he’d disappear to talk to you but he’d insist that it was worth it in the next breath. Between the streams, the phone calls, the texts and the memes he’d send you, suddenly you felt a lot less alone, at least emotionally. 

A month since your first phone call had passed before Jake sent you a text that made your heart stop. 

JD:  So how come I send you pictures all the time and yet I still don’t know what you look like? 

For weeks he had been sending you photos of him snuggling with Rocky or hanging with Jordyn and there had even been a shirtless workout pic or two which had left you debating whether a cold shower was appropriate. At the same time, you hadn’t worked up the courage to send him any photos in return other than ones you took of nature on your walks or snippets from photoshoots you’d done. Trying to downplay it all you sent back a teasing response. 

YN: What can I say I’m a behind the lens person. 

JD: Y/N...c’mon I just wanna see how beautiful you are. 

Leaving him on ‘read’ you sighed and bit your lip not sure how to respond. You were afraid if he knew what you looked like that he wouldn’t want to talk to you anymore and you weren’t sure what you’d do if you lost something that had sort of become a saving grace in this crazy time. 

JD: Is this one of those insecurity things? Is that why I haven’t seen you yet? 

It was starting to amaze you how well Jake could read you. It had been a long time since anyone was able to see through the walls you put up, see behind the camera that you hid behind, but it had only been a month or so and already Jake was starting to read the silences between the words. 

JD: Do you want me to get Jordyn to pump you up? A picture isn’t going to change what I think of you…

YN: You don’t know that. 

JD: C’mon YN give me a little more credit than that. You know I’m not that shallow. I like you okay. I like the woman that chirps me. I like the woman that listens to me and always knows what to say. I like the woman that sees me as Jake and not Boston Bruin Jake Debrusk. And since none of that is based on your physical appearance I’m going to like you no matter what you look like. 

YN: Promise? 

JD: Yeah Y/N, I promise. 

Scrolling through your camera roll you attempted to decide on which of the few photos of yourself made you look at least somewhat pretty before biting the bullet and attaching it to the text conversation. The moment you hit send you winced and your anxiety didn’t ebb until your phone rang in your hand. 

“You’re stunning.” Jake’s voice breathed lowly the second the line connected. “Just as beautiful outside as you are inside which I wasn’t sure was even possible.” By now you knew when Jake was trying to play something up versus when he was being genuine and his voice now was 100% the latter. But taking compliments about your body was never something you’d been good at so you didn’t know what to say in response. 

“I hope you believe me.” He added. “I knew you wouldn’t believe a text even if I sent it 100 times so I hope you can believe me, hearing me say it.” 

“I...thanks Jake.” You finally mumbled. You did believe that he was being honest, he had no reason not to be with you living thousands of miles apart, but at the same time, you still felt uneasy about it for reasons you’d never fully be able to explain. 

___

Tearing down the last barrier of anonymity seemed to open up a new world between you and Jake. If it was even possible you communicated more frequently, adding facetime calls to your usual methods. Seeing the way he looked at you while you talked sent heat flooding through your body and you quickly came to the realization that you were falling hard for him. 

That knowledge was terrifying and once again you wanted to pull away, protect yourself from getting hurt. But then Jordyn stole her brother’s phone and called you, raving about how when all of this was over you had to agree to meet her brother in person because she had never seen him like this over anyone. Talking with Jordyn reminded you that Jake didn’t have to go to all of this work, didn’t have to deal with your crazy emotions if he didn’t think you were worth the time and effort. It may be a pandemic but surely there were women in Edmonton willing to break social distancing rules if it meant scoring someone as wonderful as Jake. But yet each and every night he was on the phone with you, taking the time to get to know all of the things that make you tick, your likes and dislikes, your hopes and dreams. 

And it wasn’t just Jordyn that knew about you. You’d been on the phone with Jake when both of his parents came outside and when he’d asked them to come back in a minute because he was talking to you, they just called out your name in greeting and waved. 

“Your parents know my name?” You’d asked and Jake ducked his head shyly before replying. “I mean yeah…” He stated. “My mom can’t wait to meet you.” You were sure from Jake’s point of view that it was probably comical how wide your eyes went at his statement. 

“Jake what...what is this...are we just friends or…?” It wasn’t a question that you ever anticipated asking but it was out there now. From the other side of the screen, you watched Jake adjust his ball cap over his overly long hair. 

“Fuck...Y/N…” Jake started and you opened your mouth to assure him that friends was fine, that it was what you wanted too because if you didn’t put your heart out there than you couldn’t get hurt. Before you could speak though Jake continued. “No...we’re not just friends. I think you know that as well as I do.” He admitted. “I don’t know exactly what we are. I...I was hoping to meet you in person when I asked if you wanted to be my girlfriend. I know...I know that none of this is ideal because even when this is over there’s going to be the whole long-distance thing but...I can’t deny that I have feelings for you y/n. I don’t want to deny it.” 

“I don’t want to deny it either.” You said softly, fingers tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “I mean...if you’re willing to put up with my emotional baggage…” You shrugged. 

“You have feelings for me too?” Jake questioned, his normal confidence suppressed. “I have no problems supporting you through dealing with your baggage if you’re willing to do the same with mine. I know I’ve fucked up in the past as a boyfriend and I don’t want to do that to you.” 

“I think I’m kinda sorta falling for you.” You stated anxiously, unable to meet Jake’s gaze through the screen until he breathed your name. 

“So can we agree we’re something more than friends and that we’ll figure out the details as part of returning to the new normal?” 

“Yeah...we can agree to that.” You nodded. 

_______

The new normal had finally arrived and that meant that you were going to see Jake in person for the first time. The two of you had been “more than friends” for what felt like forever now but had realistically been a few months but with each passing day you knew you wanted more. You still didn’t know how it would all work with him playing in Boston and you owning a company in North Carolina but you were ready to figure it out together if it meant that you could finally have him for real. 

Jake’s plane was scheduled to land in ten minutes and you were running so far behind. Your senior picture photoshoot had run over and traffic was a mess. You’d texted Jake apologizing but upon getting your text he’d quickly waved your concerns off declaring that he’d just get an uber and meet you at your apartment. It would be a better first meeting anyway because you wouldn’t be time-restricted by parking or pick up zone rules. 

When you finally pulled into your parking lot you checked your phone to see if Jake had arrived yet. It wasn’t until you reached the front steps of your building that you noticed someone sitting there, bags beside them. He looked up at the same time that your brain processed that it was him and he was really there and tears instantly prickled in your eyes. As you rushed to close the distance, Jake stood to catch you as you threw yourself at him. 

No words needed to be said as you tugged his mouth down to your own, kissing him for the very first time. It was nothing like you had expected but at the same time it was everything and at that moment you knew that this was it, you were in love. It had been such a long wait, but the feeling of his arms wrapped around you, his lips against yours was well worth it. It was cheesy but you knew that the physical chemistry was only this strong because you already knew each other inside and out and now that he was here, now that he was finally yours, things could only get better. 

Being with Jake despite the distance wouldn’t be easy but now that you knew the way he felt, the way he tasted, the scent of his cologne, you were willing to do whatever it took to make it. If you could fall in love during a global pandemic, you could do anything and it would make a great story to tell the grandkids one day about how they only came to exist because of a direct message on a streaming site while the world was quarantined. 

[darthlorddiamond]

It's Never Enough

This is my first request for @originalposter-96, and to be honest I don't know what I did to the original message (it disappeared from my inbox), so I hope you like it.

Summary: Reader is the daughter of General Domaric Quinn, they do not have a good relationship, on one occasion when he visits the Starkiller to see her, he ends up humiliating her and Kylo Ren comes to confront the General and then comfort the reader.

Words: 3,213

Reading Time: 13 min

Category: Fluff, Angst

Warnings: Humiliation

Check my Masterlist for more.

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It's Never Enough

A year and a half ago I was transferred to Starkiller Base, right after finishing my training at the Academy. When I began my work here, I was an officer like any other, I was under the command of Captain Phasma and my job was to support her to monitor the progress of the troops in their training; After six months of working with her, I was promoted to lieutenant and became part of the General Pride team.

To tell the truth, I thought that things on board would be much more difficult than I thought it would be, although I must admit that I´m very sure that the good treatment I receive from my peers and other officers is due to my father, the General Domaric Quinn.

Let's talk a little about my father. He´s a man ... A bit strict about everything about me, so when I found out that I would work under the command of General Pride I was not the least bit surprised, as he and my father are good friends he would know immediately everything I do, this was one more way of showing his control over me and when to say control of me, I mean TOTAL control: from how I look, to how I interact with other people; nothing goes unnoticed for him and the slightest mistake I make, according to his perspective, I know that a great rebuke will come.

My father has always been like that with me, more than a father, for me he is a foreman, who seeks to control and oppress my life every second and that no matter what I do it will never be enough for him, I´m simply not the son he so much desired and as a woman, I will never be good enough to meet his expectations.

Fortunately, my father and I are assigned to different places, so the contact we have had has been brief for the last year and in its entirety has been through brief and frivolous messages, which has allowed me to feel a bit of freedom and give me a break. I know maybe it's wrong of me to admit it, but not having him around is a complete relief.

Within months of working with the General Pride, I began to maintain contact with Commander Ren. Essentially, my work with him involves specific tasks, like carrying out the Pride reports he needs, or informing him of the progress of our troops, never anything beyond that. I must admit that, at the beginning, I had a hard time communicating with him, first, talking to his mask made me feel that I was talking to an inanimate being, and second, I cannot lie, he´s a very tall man and he imposed a lot on me.

After several visits, we began to make small talk, the usual "How's your day going?", "How´s the job?". For this instant, I still didn´t know the face behind that gloomy mask, however, I was deeply emotional to know that I would see him through the day. That's right, I was falling in love with the most feared man in the entire First Order, certainly something very stupid of me.

One day, I didn't know what I was thinking, I went to leave one of Pryde's reports, and I waited on my feet for him to finish reading it so that he could give me instructions to follow. Once he finished reading, he returned my data pad along with his observations, in theory, that was the signal for me to leave his office, but no, I was frozen in place looking at him as a silly schoolgirl, an event that Ren noticed and he didn't let pass.

"Is there anything else I can help with, Lieutenant Quinn?" The mechanical voice only made me feel more nervous. My hands held tightly to my data pad, I could feel my blouse starting to cool off with the sweat from my back and my knees trembled slightly "Commander Ren, I was wondering ..." How stupid! Am I going to do it? I was sweating like never in my life! "I was wondering if you would like to join me for dinner!" For a moment I thought I would vomit because my nerves "Excuse me?" Ren replied getting up from his chair. I'm dead, at what point did I think it would be a good idea, "Sorry sir! It was complete recklessness on my part!" I didn't know where to hide my head, I could feel how my face was completely red with embarrassment "Indeed, lieutenant, it's reckless" my knees trembled much more as Ren approached me "Please, I apologize, I will inform General Pride that replace my obligations so that someone else will give you the reports" I was really about to vomit on my nerves "I don´t want anyone else to come and leave me the reports..." Ren was already at less than an arm away from me, if my blouse was already a little wet from fear it was now completely soaked and I could swear that my data pad was already broken from how tightly I was holding it, I was 100% sure that Ren was going to kill me, which is why his next sentence left me completely frozen in my place "But yes, I would love to accompany you to dinner."

It's been several weeks since our first dinner in my room. Now I know perfectly each of the fine details of his face, the depth of his eyes, the gravity of his voice. What started as how many nights sharing our food, turned into small touches of our fingers, hidden caresses, a lost hand to my waist, until we reached our first kiss. Surely my life at Starkiller Base now had an ulterior motive to merely serve the First Order.

"General Quinn has informed me that he will report to Starkiller Base tomorrow to review your performance, lieutenant..." Pride dropped the bomb early in the day and immediately my stomach became small. "So I ask you to report directly to the meeting room no. 2 on the Command Bridge to receive him. You will not need to stop by my office before" and without saying more, I left his office and went immediately to Ren's quarters. Now more than ever I need to talk to someone about it, I felt with so much helplessness, so many nerves, without a doubt I was going to get sick of my stomach and I don´t want to spend more time on the command bridge that day, besides, I had to prepare myself mentally to receive my father.

"What are you doing here so early?" He gives up his gaze towards me a little without getting up from his place "Pride has just informed me that my father will come tomorrow to evaluate my performance" I went to the small kitchen that´s inside his room to pour me a glass of water "What's that supposed to be wrong?" he answered me as he got up from his place walking towards where I was "Everything´s wrong with that Kylo..." I suspire deeply and continued with a terrible feeling in my stomach "Domaric Quinn is a monster with me..." I whispered as I returned to serve me another glass of water, I could feel my tongue arid of just saying his name" What do you mean?" Kylo stood behind me and crossed his arms around my waist, resting his chest on my back "Since I was a child he has tried to dominate my life in every aspect, nothing I do is enough for him..." I left the glass on the sink and hold the edge with both hands "I know perfectly well that tomorrow will be the same, he will do or say something to humiliate me..." I could feel Kylo's breathing on my neck, and although this usually made me want to throw myself into his arms, my physical annoyance at knowing my father was on the way was stronger.

Kylo began to kiss the nape of my neck, passing to my neck while pressing more strongly my body towards him. Momentarily, he has placed his lips on my ear and lightly bit my lobe "Come to bed..." I immediately understood what he wanted, but I didn´t feel like accompanying him, I felt physically bad, so I broke his hug and turned to see him "I'm so sorry darling, but it will have to be another time" I escape from his arms, he just growled from deep in his throat, and I went to the door, just turned my head to see him, he was standing at the entrance of the kitchen, leaning on the frame with his arms crossed, his face denoted annoyance but also confusion. This was the first time that I had rejected something that came from him, it certainly made me feel bad, but at that moment I had more altered my nerves because my father's visit than anything Kylo could think of. I would apologize later. I opened the door and headed for my room.

The next morning I woke up a few hours before the appointment with my father to make sure that all the details about my uniform and my appearance were perfect, once ready I left the room and went to the Command Bridge, where I located the meeting room no. 2 and enter. It was still half an hour before the appointment, but I prefer to arrive earlier and wait for him than he arrives first and make a fuss about my punctuality.

The minutes passed and my anxiety grew and grew. I started to feel a few beads of sweat form on my forehead, my stomach growled and I couldn't stop moving one of my legs. I heard a small noise outside the door and immediately stood up, straightening my entire uniform quickly, making sure I don't have a hair out of place, and wait to stand on one side of the table as straight as possible. Within seconds, the door opened and my father entered the room. "Good morning, General Quinn" I raised one of my hands to give him a formal greeting "Good morning, Lieutenant. Took a seat.” The door closed behind him, I took a seat in one of the chairs on the side of the table while he sat himself exactly in front of me.

For several minutes he said nothing, just took out his data pad and began to check it, when he finished, he placed it on the table and crossed his hands over it. "I must say, lieutenant, I´m very impressed with the reports that everyone has given me about you..." Wow, I wasn't expecting it "General Pride has informed me that you have been extremely punctual with your tasks and assignments..." I was starting to get more nervous about the fact that he would be behaving so kindly "Your collaborators have also given good references about your conduct on the command bridge..." Is he doing nice? "I can't expect less from you..." Something in my stomach was telling me something was wrong "Your mother at home is very proud of you, she doesn´t let it boast that her daughter is a lieutenant of the Starkiller Base, however..." He let out a long and deep sigh "I don´t entirely agree with her..." I already knew that something was wrong here, my father is never satisfied with anything "I have reported that in the last few weeks your behavior has been... How to call it? Something... Something erratic..." at any moment, he doesn't take long to highlight an error "For erratic what do you mean, General?" I was trying to show a little assertiveness which turned out to be a big mistake "First of all lieutenant, you wouldn´t speak unless I ask you a direct question!" he yelled and crashed his palms on the table, I just nodded my head "As I said, I have reported that the last few weeks you had been prowling the corridors of the Starkiller Base late at night and I demand at this moment an explanation of what you do outside your room at non-business hours" my blood ran cold, I swallowed so deeply that I could feel my throat swell "I'm talking to you lieutenant!" he yelled again.

My hands were sweating, cold sweat registering my forehead, my leg began to tremble again, what was I supposed to say? "I already knew..." he started walking towards me "I already knew and I told your mother..." his pace was slow, like a hunter stalking his prey "Since you went to the Academy I already knew that you were holding something between your hands..." he stood next to me, I didn't dare to turn to see him, my gaze was still fixed on his empty chair and he slowly leaned towards my ear "Or did you bring it and keep it between your legs?".

Abruptly his hand grips my hair tightly and he pulls my head back. "Honey, I don't want to hurt you, but you must understand that I didn't educate you to be a whore..." his grip on my hair became more abrupt and I just shook my head "So what are you doing outside your room!?" he started yelling in my face "If you have nothing to hide then you would have answered already!" his face was completely red "You're nothing but a damn bitch!" With a strong tug on my hair, he quickly threw myself to the floor near the front door, the impact was so strong that I momentarily lost my breath "You're nothing..." started walking towards me "More than a..." Steps were firm "Damn..." once in front of me he stopped "And dirty whore..." I opened my eyes completely and looked up to see him, I felt my tears running down my cheeks, my whole body trembled.

Slowly, my father brought his hands to the buckle of his belt and unzipped it "Ah darling..." his voice was so serious and solemn that it made all the hairs on my body stand on end "I swear I didn't want to get to this..." with slow but precise movements he withdrew his belt "But you have to learn in one way or another..." he stretch it between his hands, making the leather thunder "I can only tell you that..." turning his head slightly he leaned his body towards me "This going to hurt me more than you..." the panic completely took over me, I closed my eyes tight and froze in my place while he raised his hand to release his first blow, but it never came.

After a few seconds, I opened my eyes. I couldn't believe what was happening. Kylo was standing next to my father, holding his arm, they were both silently exchanging glances. I swear I was going to pass out, my head hurts, my stomach, legs and arms ached. Everything was wrong with me, everything.

"Could you explain to me what is going on here, General Quinn?" Immediately I could see how the color of my father's face completely disappeared "Commander Ren..." he swallowed deeply "I received information about a misconduct from the lieutenant..." releasing his hand from Kylo's grasp, he took one of his hands to accommodate his hair and then he smoothed his uniform "I´m in the duty to correct said error, Sir" and with his perfect position he turned to Kylo "I'm afraid I don't understand what are you saying, General..." Kylo approached me and extended a hand to get me off the floor "The lieutenant has been an element of utmost importance in my communication with the command bridge..." once standing I could feel my legs still trembling "I couldn´t say anything wrong regarding the lieutenant's behavior or performance..." "Commander!" my father tried to interrupt Kylo's speech but he swallowed his words when Kylo turned to see him "On the other hand General, I considered that the only improper act that is happening here is your actions..." Kylo started walking towards my father, who advanced back to try to avoid any contact with him "In fact, from now on the lieutenant will report directly to me, and only to me..." my father touched his back to the wall and Kylo covered him with his whole body "And you wouldn´t have any kind of contact with her if you doesn't go through me first..." I see how sweat ran in my father's face incessantly "Is it clear to you, General?" with a somewhat shaky voice, my father tried to regain his composition "Yes Sir.", Kylo stepped slightly to the side, giving my father a sense that it was time to leave the room, something that he caught immediately, taking his pad data from the table and walking past me without turning to see me when he came out of the room.

I burst into tears completely as soon as the door closed behind him and immediately Kylo rushed over to hold me in his arms, I buried my face in his chest and held his robes with my hands, he felt like how I was shaking, so he held me tighter, completely enveloping me with his body. Little by little I was catching my breath, my sobs were less frequent, I leaned my ear against his chest and I could hear his heartbeat, which helped me to recover my nerves. I could feel Kylo sporadically placing kisses on my head and resting his forehead on it, so the warmth of his breath also comforted me.

"You know perfectly well that nothing he said is true..." Kylo began to whisper in my head "You are an extraordinary woman..." he took one of the hands that held my body against my head and began to caress me "You are affectionate, kind and quite disciplined with your work..." my heart began to fill with a very pleasant warmth "For me, you are perfect" I raised my face to see him, he had a slight marked smile on his face, that smile that no matter how heavy the day always made me feel better "Do you think so?" and Kylo just nodded while holding my face with both hands.

His thumbs caressed my cheeks and wiped in his wake the few tears that still ran down my face, I could feel how a small smile was also drawn on my lips. I was very impressed by how he had such strong power to transform something so traumatic for me, as it was to see my father, into something so intimate and warm. 

In a single movement, Kylo brought his lips to mine, like a soft caress, it was full of affection, my whole body suddenly forgot the terror and the nerves that I suffered and simply got in tune with the caress of his lips. After a few seconds he separated his face from mine and fixed his gaze on mine "Let's go to our room..." he whispered "Ours?" I raised one of my eyebrows and looked at him with a bit of disbelief "Yes, OUR room."

[mercuryislove]

don’t click on this post if you don’t want to be like. stupid sad immediately after reading it. mental illness to follow

LAST CHANCE. i’m about to talk about suicide.

...anyway. because i’ve been getting messages in my inbox lately i decided to scroll through what’s in there to see what other messages i’ve received over the years and um. there were soooooo many kind messages from people when i was Really Going Through It and talking VERY seriously about killing myself and like. honestly. if those random strangers on the internet hadn’t sent those messages to me back then would i even still be here????

i try not to think about it too hard anymore because it just makes me feel bad but yes i have attempted suicide several times and yes i was institutionalized once (and yes if you’re a freak you can find my suicide letter still on my blog but why would you want to see that) and to be quite honest i still regularly contemplate suicide. (IN A PASSIVE WAY. please don’t send me to the funny farm again. it was bad enough the first time.) in fact, i thought about it just the other day while i was cooking dinner.

for the longest time i said the only thing keeping me alive was my dog because i didn’t want to leave her behind and have her wonder why i abandoned her. but my dog died last may (almost exactly a year ago). and i’m still here for some reason. frankly i don’t know how or why because i truly didn’t think i’d live this long. i’m going to be thirty next year. god. so much of my life has been stolen by severe mental illness. there are swaths of my teenage years where the most dominant memories are of me sitting alone in my room hurting myself. i feel so sad for that person i was but i am still her.

anyway. my dog is not the reason i have to live anymore. i don’t really know what the reason i have to live for is. i think it’s the little things. it’s like. talking to my friends. doing goofy shit with them in destiny or gta or red dead or whatever we’re playing. painting flowers for my mom for mother’s day. running dnd with my sister and our childhood friend. going to the rock wall and making up silly dances with my friends. sitting at wild honey with those same friends until it closes, then sitting on the curb outside for another hour. getting drunk and passionately singing the opening themes from the kingdom hearts games. dancing in my underwear to shinee. writing stories about dead gods and vampires and their gay shenanigans. going to dollywood and eating cinnamon bread. nailing crow pose for the very first time. getting a full extension in bird of paradise pose for the very first time. hearing people tell you that they care about you, that they worry about you, that they love you, that they want you to be happy.

THE POINT IS. life is not often fun or easy. not to sound like a complete edgelord but oh my god there are times when existence is pure pain. but then there are times when i glimpse pure elation and it DOES make life worth living. everything sucks and life has no meaning except when you find ways to make it have meaning

so thank you to the dozen or so strangers that told me that i mattered and one day things would get better and that even though they didn’t know me that they still loved me. and thank you to my late yoga instructor for telling me that every person (including me!!) has special talents that nobody else in the universe can offer and that one day i would find a way to share them and that it is NEVER too late to find that way. and thank you to anyone who has ever been kind to me. i love you all.

and now i’m going to go lay down and continue to weep. this post makes no sense but i needed to get something out there. i will probably delete this tomorrow

[cgmayra]

Oh queen of prompts yes you're back! Okay here's my request: It's Maria's anniversary and at first Shadow wants to spend it alone but Amy not wanting Shadow to suffer offers emotional support. She also brings Shadow and Eggman together to honor Maria since she was both their family. Basically, sweet Amy and Shadow friendship and Shadow can't help but see a lot of Maria in Amy.

Your wish is my command! - Prompt video on this as well! (x) 14:25

PROMPTS ARE ON SHUTDOWN, DO NOT SEND ME ANYMORE TILL THEY REOPEN. This message is brought to you by the patiently waiting 160 messages in Cutegirlmayra’s inbox, thank you.

Prompt:

It was another cold winter...

I couldn’t help but feel the sting on my eyes as I waded through the white, sticky snow I had always thought would be like powder from the sky... guess there’s a lot of things I don’t know about earth yet.

It’s been exactly one year since Arc... I never knew much about Maria... I guess I barely understood her heart too, but that all changed when I learned from my time spent with G.U.N that she died around this time... an exact date wasn’t significant enough for something so covered up I suppose...

I felt my body instinctively tighten, age-old anger rising as I formed fists that quaked at my side.

I shut my eyes, hoping the wind could drown out my raging thoughts... it was never over for me. Maria lived on, and her spirit kept crying out for to me to do something. I thought I knew what that was... but she’s haunted me ever since.

Mostly in thoughts like these. I don’t dream much. Maybe darkness is that empty peace I long for..? What do I long for... is there anything... that can help me piece together these broken fragments of who I am and what I’m supposed to be?

I only opened my eyes to realize I was getting cold, which only agitated me further as I looked to see the snow had piled up, and the wind was getting as restless as my spirit...

I dusted off some flakes that started to melt on my fur, making small frost so I kicked through the snow and carried on...

I didn’t really have a destination... so it was no surprise when I entered what looked like a place that was lined with spaced out homes... I had trekked up a hill, that’s all. Did I wander too close to people..?

“Shhaddoooww!!!”

The voice startled me, but not enough to get defensive.

I knew that voice, but it... it had been a while.

The only link I had to Maria’s memory was drawn out by a small girl, a pink hedgehog who hadn’t even know what I was about to do on the Space Colony Arc and somehow managed to remind me of my true calling, my purpose... or at least, the promise that would forever solidify that.

“Amy?” I turned to the sound as she looked different, covered in... um, fluffy winter attire, I would assume.

She smiled, her face completely consumed in the cottony bulges around her hoodie and on the rim of her skirt, matching some cotton dots that were probably for no other function than appearance.

She waved and made her way over to me... quite a powerful swing of her legs and arms to so gracefully bulldoze through the snow...

Alright, it didn’t look that intense... she made it seem easy, anyway.

Some light sways and she was already next to me, but I didn’t want to seem impressed. Who knows, with someone as chatty as Amy, I could be here all winter. And I...

Didn’t want... to be here... all winter.

“What are you doing out here, Silly!?” Her voice spiked to an octave I only assumed meant cheer and a spunkiness for life. She did hang around that blue hedgehog a lot... I’m sure it added to her view on life.

I folded my arms, “I could ask you the same thing.” Silly? Me? “I’m also not wearing such a ridiculous getup.” I turned my head away from her, hoping that would be enough signal to discourage her for interacting with me further.

But much like Rouge... this sort of stand-offish behavior only enticed her to further continue on in her ‘befriending’ strategies.

“H-huh?” She blinked and leaned in towards me, then away to look herself over. She puffed up the side of her cheek, oddly, and looked upset. “Hmph! Well, at least I don’t have icicles forming all over my quills! And look at your chest, Shadow! The tips are gonna break off and you won’t have any hair anymore.” she pointed around me and I couldn’t help but look down and examine my state.

She... unfortunately... was correct.

“I suppose your right.” I unfolded my arms and took a better look at my quills and condition. “I suppose I am cold, but what concern is that for you?” I stood my ground, though I could feel the ice from my submerged feet and legs gripping to form around me...

“You don’t fear anything, do you?” Amy’s eyes bent back... why? “Come with me, okay? I’ll get you something hot and tasty to warm you up!” She took my hands without much else to say, dragging me along the snowbanks before I noticed one of the houses around here must be hers.

Just my luck...

“Here you go! Wipe your feet before you catch a cold.” Her words made no sense, but I did as I was instructed... although it puzzled me.

She opened the door and wiped her feet again, so I did the same and followed her.

Her home was rather warm... I don’t mind wasting a few moments re-heating myself.

“Hmph.” I closed my eyes to shut out the homey atmosphere. It didn’t suit me, and it certainly didn’t invite me to stay.

“Here, you can rest on the couch.” She patted some cushions on the back of the seat and then gestured for me to rest with yet another welcoming smile.

A year ago, I was this girl’s enemy... how quickly minds can change when one saves their insignificant planet on a whim.

I sat down, lifting a leg over the other and leaning my head on my hand. I didn’t want to be served, but I couldn’t possibly contradict her. She wouldn’t...

She wouldn’t listen anyway.

“So, what brings you trotting down this way?” She really wanted to start conversation that profusely?

I looked away, frowning to try and give the body language adequately that I didn’t want to speak.

I did, however, see her face peek from what appeared to be the kitchen, some steam rising as I was sure she was making that ‘hot drink’ she mentioned before.

“Not much of a talker, are you?” she seemed to tease me, but what for? I’m not her friend, barely an acquaintance, and still wondering if sparing this pathetic was worth it.

...Perhaps I was lying to myself. I felt very strongly about saving this planet... adamantly even.

I looked down, my usual soberness seemed to only encourage her to poke and prong at my condition... best to get it over with.

I itched a spot on my head, tilting it ever so slightly as I tried to look uninterested in responding to her, “I simply didn’t know where I was going... I wanted a better look at the moon tonight.” I closed my eyes and waited for her to silently surrender to the peaceful stillness I had created in hopes she would back down... but her insist pestering didn’t seem to be a trait learned or acquired... but rather practiced into nature.

“The moon?” She seemed to muse over the answer... “Eggman had built an observatory pretty heavily well-guarded recently for today too... Tails even said it didn’t look like any missiles or launchers either... just... a simple telescope to observe the moon.” She seemed a bit on edge, did she suspect me to be in cahoots with the Doctor again?

“I assure you, it probably has nothing to do with it.” I stood up a bit straighter, putting my hand down to rest on the arm of the couch. Why... did I want to so immediately comfort her of that?

It’s fact that I did conspire with the Doctor, although double-crossed him... she had every right to suspect me.

So then... I supposed I didn’t want to be suspected of ill-intent.

But... It seemed to mean a lot to me, for some reason, that she knew I wasn’t on his side.

I relaxed into the couch with so many thoughts running through my mind again... but instead of Maria, it was to clear my own conscience and name.

“Are you and your friends investigating it heavily?” I was surprised by how much I suddenly engaged in this conversation now.

Surely, Eggman wouldn’t be interested in-

“Maybe it’s the same reason... What did you want to view the moon for?” Amy walked in then, her hoodie down to reveal her hedgehog quills, light pink and slightly moist from her adventure outside.

Her mitten hands gripped a tray of warm drinks, coated with something I wasn’t familiar with, and as she sat down beside me, I was surprised by how comfortable she seemed to be around me.

This was unnecessary. She didn’t need to be so... friendly. She should, in all respects, have her guard up too.

But... her easiness in creating peace came like an atmospheric pressure to me, instantly calming me of being guarded as well...

“Here.” she offered the drink, smiling...

Why does she smile like that... to her enemy?

My eyes couldn’t help but watch her, examining her every movement before also blinking into a relaxed state and taking the beverage.

“Here on earth, when we’re offered something in a spirit of hospitality, we say ‘Thank you!’ like so!” Amy instructed me, but it came off rather pushy...

I felt nervous again, but she held up a mitten engulfed finger and pestered yet again before I could even drink her creation. “Like... so.” She appeared to want me to humor her.

“...Thanks.” I took a sip.

The warmth of the oddly bitter yet favorable sweet swept through my body and I instantly felt myself getting warmer with each swimming delight of it’s smooth and thick texture going down my cold throat.

“It’s...” My eyes were probably shining as the saying goes... but I grew embarrassed and looked away from her.

“Hmmm???” Amy’s eyes... did they grow in size? She was leaning too heavily up by me...

“It’s good.” I didn’t know why it was so easy to surrender to her pesterings... It just... was.

I figured then that I probably had a soft spot for innocent girls who didn’t know any better than to love all those they come into contact with... but it still didn’t comfort me.

That could mean she gets into an awful lot of trouble for instantly befriending dangerous fellows...

I took another few gulps of the delicious drink, as Amy began to explain it’s contents, calling it ‘Hot Cocoa’ or something like that.

Then she asked again about the moon...

“It’s... rather personal, why I wish to view it tonight.” I placed the almost empty cup down by my shivering legs... though I tried to restrain their constant twitching, not wanting her to worry... o-or ask for me to warm up any further.

I angled my head down and looked away from her again, knowing her prying nature wouldn’t cease, though.

“Oh... I see.” She... let it be?

“...It’s to do with someone I knew on the Arc.” Why was I raising my head, trying to engage her again?

Did that subtle gesture of respect completely undo me?

“Oh!” Her head came straight up, and she turned to me with a truly curious and caring look to her expression. “Do you mean... Maria?”

The name triggered me, and for a moment, all I could see was red.

“S-Shadow!? Are you okay!?” She held my shoulders, and the warmth of her touch was so much greater than that of the hot treat I had almost fully consumed.

“I’m... fine.” I lied, twitching as I gritted my teeth.

The glass in my hands then broke, and the remaining liquid began to drip over me.

“Ah! Shadow, you’re hurt!” I was relieved that was all she got out of the action...

It was swift, and my fingers were still crushing into the spikes of the glass... It was hard to control, hard to pull... back...

My eyes pulsed in each squint as I tried to gain control over myself, and she rushed back in, grabbing my hand.

I was amazed my hands unteased so easily to her touch, and went limp as she addressed them and wrapped them in binding.

“...I...”

“It’s alright, I’m sure it was a traumatic experience for you.” she was dutifully focusing on my hands... but it was obvious now that she knew what had happened.

“...”

I remained silently pinned to my realm of thoughts...

Later, I shoved the door open and prepared to make a swift exit when she followed after me and pulled on my arm.

“Wait! The moon and Maria... You’re clearly not okay going on your own!” she insisted, but by this time, I just wanted to leave.

I didn’t want her seeing me... a broken experiment... like this...

I gritted my teeth, “It’s not something I have a choice in.” I tried to explain, “I’m an abomination. I tried to destroy your home... let me leave alone. I’m not supposed to be anyone’s friend.” I’m... dangerous.

“Well, that simply doesn’t do in my book!”

I felt the world stop around me as she walked passed me and flipped her hoodie back over her head.

“The best place to view the moon right now... in all the earth...” Her clothes swayed largely in the wind... a cold wind... but there was only warmth in this girl.

An eternal warmth I was never meant to know...

She spun her head around and I saw the most determined set of emerald eyes... seeking my company.

“Is Eggman’s observatory!”

We fought through the hordes of security, and although we attempted to not trip any alarms, Amy... was more concerned about getting to Eggman’s central takeoff site before the launch.

The elevator mimicked a launch of a space shuttle heading out of earth’s atmosphere, and as we were pushed down to the ground, I looked to see that even she was deterred by the gravitational pressure.

She took longer to recover, but I helped her walk into the center room where Eggman hovered in the zero-gravity space, sitting on a large, comfortable chair and sipping some space food...

He looked over at us, as though underwhelmed by our appearance, and then looked back at the moon.

“Care to be depressed?” He said, as though all his boisterous energy was drained by the propelling launch system we all just endured.

With Amy able to float in the space of the control room, I gently let her go and she was able to get her bearings.

“What are you doing here, Amy?” I finally asked her, “Only I wanted to see the moon...”

“You... You aren’t meant to be alone.” Amy’s words caught me by surprise. She was still weary from the pressure change, and that massive takeoff force, but she flew herself over to Eggman, who seemed to tolerate her momentarily.

He raised an eyebrow as she took his arm, which his hands were now together and on his lap before lifting him out of the chair, much to his shock as he squirmed in the air a moment.

“O-O-Oui!” he was pulled down to my side, as the giant window screen parted like two eyelids... revealing the oval screen that put us directly next to the half-destroyed moon...

Amy then placed his hand with mine... “You both have learned of a tragic fate... she was your family, too, right Eggman?” She looked up at him, and although he barked and threw his fist in the air a moment,... even he seemed to succumb to her nosy nature.

His hand lowered... and he relaxed his once squirming hand on mine.

His mustache lowered slightly, and he sighed, “Well done. Guess you knew it wasn’t all such a ‘evil plan’ after all.” He congratulated her, but that looked like an avoidance tactic.

“You were related to her, Doctor?” All this time...

“Robotnik... is my true name.” Eggman’s words threw me back, as my whole being felt enraged by such a shocking revelation.

“It’s what!?”

“I told you this.” Eggman looked annoyed at me, “But Gerald was my grandfather. It only makes sense that I-too-feel some pain at the recent discovery of an family member dying so young... however, she was going to die eventually anyway... due to her... ehem, condition.” He peered over at Amy, perhaps hinting to be sensitive since she was a young child...

The disease itself was rather a controversy back in those days... so I’ve heard, so I also remained silent on it’s details.

Not that I would explain it to Amy anyway...

“I knew you were somewhat familiar with the doctor’s work... and I knew to trick you, I pretended to be under your command.” I admitted.

“I’m well aware...” His mustache flinched upwards twice, showing some ‘frustration at being fooled.

“But I never suspected you actually cared for a relative you were unaware of.” I narrowed my eyes, not really believing him.

“Hohoho!” Eggman laughed, which means I was relatively right. “Although I do find it a sad tale... I’m not so shaken by the deceits and foul conspiracies that humans are capable of.” His words resonated in me, but then Amy spoke up.

“No!” she slapped our hands with her own, clamping them together. “Humans are not all monsters! People aren’t all evil!” She countered, but Eggman just looked fed-up with the excuses.

“To repeat an already established question... and you’re here... why? Exactly?” he pestered her right back, but she continued, turning to me and giving him a resenting stink-eye look.

“Maria wasn’t bad, right? She was someone that meant a lot to you. There are so many good people in the world. Yes, some aren’t always as kind, but those that are deserve a chance to change the world! You agreed with me and Maria before, didn’t you?” her plea caught me in another loop of strained memories, causing me to clutch my head and dissociate from the reality around me.

“M...Maria...” I closed my twitching eyes... and felt again, that warm touch around me.

“Aw, truly a modern humanitarian.” Eggman joked, witnessing Amy hug me. “But the reality is, Shadow is-”

“More feeling than you’ll ever have!” She glared up at him, stopping him from saying anything that could contradict my resolve further.

This did seem to make Eggman pull back and raise an eyebrow again, surprise by her sudden shift in behavior.

Instead of a warm presence... she turned to defending me, why..?

I looked up to see her pointing accusingly to him.

“Shadow deserves more than a right to live on earth and experience what people are truly like than you! You’ve always sought to seize power and dominion over the world! At least Shadow has the guts to experience the world as it is before completely turning it’s back on it!”

Eggman just laughed, but it was softer and slower than before... “Perhaps you’re right. I never liked to the world to begin with, but he still has a lot of hating to do... Very well, suppose I should just enact my true plan after all!”

He spun his body in the air and then flew over to this panel, slamming his hand on a button, “Grieving’s over, Eggman Empire, here I come!”

Me and Amy were able to successfully stop another, smaller, invasion scheme before returning to earth.

I did witness the moon... but more importantly-

I saw why the earth could produce such individuals as Maria and Amy...

There was something mysterious about the planet... how such awful, wicked secrets could exist on it... and yet, there are also those who comfort others, refuse to leave their side in their moments of need, and stand by principles that the earth seems to inherently breed within it’s creations...

I may not be a child of the earth... but the moon will always reflect that pure light of indifference... perhaps the earth was meant to be a place where people like Maria and Amy could thrive in... but was corrupted by such things like the scorching sun and the cold moon... by the emptiness of space and the brutish nature of the bulling stars...

Whatever the case, I’ve come to the conclusion that I must shade their delicate natures from such obstructions. If the earth truly is naturally good, then I shall scuff up the grim that would try to ail it.

If the earth is good, then it will prove itself to me, herewith.

If I can meet more like Sonic and his friends... find whatever power they’ve unlocked through their connection with the earth and it’s inhabitants... than it’s worth saving to me!

Maria’s wish... I shall never regret saving this world!

I have found my peace, the thing I longed for most... a purpose to protect the good, and destroy anything that dares to cause it to mourn!

(Absolute, unrelenting crying lol)

[clumsyclifford]

don’t need money, don’t need sleep (just need your pretty face)

hi !!!!! some jalex fluff for you all :)

back when i was looking to start writing some jalex i requested prompts from my friends and @tirednotflirting gave me three from this list: 14, 23, and 82. sam i am sorry it took me so long to get this done (and that it’s not like, my best work or anything) but i am treating this like a prompt fic even though you never actually sent the prompt to my inbox so here it is as its own post. how exciting

title is from bottle and a beat by all time low god that song really did not deserve to be a b-side have i mentioned i love all time low?? was that evident?? anyway. onward

read it here on ao3

Jack yawns. “I’m sleepy.”

“Then go to sleep, you dolt,” Alex says, although it’s dripping with fondness and he’s sure Jack can tell, even over Skype.

“No,” Jack says. “Talking to you.”

“We can talk tomorrow,” Alex says logically. “I’ll be home tomorrow.”

“Mm, that’s too long,” Jack says, and then yawns again. “Alex,” he says, stretching out the vowel, “I’m tired. ” He closes his eyes and buries his head on his pillow. The angle of his camera really should be unflattering, but Alex is so in love, and he misses falling asleep with Jack so much, that even getting to see his almost-asleep face is feeding a part of him.

“You want me to sing you something?” Alex asks. Jack smiles, or at least the visible half of his face does.

“Just tell me about your day,” he says. His voice is barely audible and his lips hardly move; he’s clearly just on the verge of falling asleep completely. Alex is concerned for his phone battery.

“I’ve told you about my day already,” he says.

“Tell me again. I like to hear your voice.”

They’re so ridiculous, Alex realizes. They are the shitty rom-com couples that people point at to say look how unrealistic that is. Nobody acts like that in real life. But Alex is happy with Jack, happier than he’s ever been, and he thinks that’s more than worth the cheesy tropes.

“Alright,” Alex says. He settles back against the hotel pillows. They’re too soft; if Jack were here he’d have a lot of choice words about that. Jack’s firm anti-soft-pillow stance has taken over their bed — all of their pillows are relatively unyielding. Yet another way that Jack has made himself a permanent fixture in Alex’s life. God, Alex loves him. “Well, I woke up at the hell hour of five in the morning, and then I tried to Google Maps my way to the radio station, which didn’t work, and I ended up kind of lost. So then I called Rian, because obviously I didn’t want Bryan to know I got lost, and Rian just laughed at me, and then together we figured it out — there are two places here with the same address, like, one is the radio station and the other is, like, a convenience store, so I don’t know what kind of planning went into that? Anyway, the radio promo stuff was fine, and then I went and got coffee and called my boyfriend, except he didn’t pick up because he was still asleep, and I should have probably known better than to try and call, so I left him a really cute message that I bet he still hasn’t listened to.”

Alex pauses, watches the screen. Jack’s breathing is even. He’s never been the kind of person who could fall asleep right away, but now must be an exception, or maybe he’s more tired than usual, because he’s already dropped off, and his phone is moving irregularly until it finally slips out of Jack’s grasp and the screen goes dark, face-down on the bed. Alex smiles. “And then I had a boring day and then I Skyped my boyfriend and he had the audacity to fall asleep while I was in the middle of talking to him,” he concludes. “And I love you, and I’ll see you tomorrow. Goodnight, sweetheart.”

Jack doesn’t reply, so Alex resolves to remind him tomorrow. Maybe without calling him sweetheart, though. Jack doesn’t take kindly to nicknames unless they’re grossly unrealistic (sugarplum, and such).

For the moment, though, Alex listens to Jack breathe slowly, and then he hangs up the call, sets his phone aside, and pulls the covers over himself. Sleeping alone is one of Alex’s least favorite things, but he’s lulled to sleep by the promise of not having to do it again tomorrow night.

-

“Hi,” Jack breathes, throwing his arms around Alex’s neck. Alex gives a little, wrapping his arms around Jack’s waist and squeezing tight.

“Hi. I missed you.”

“I missed you,” Jack echoes. “More. Fuck, it’s good to hear your voice.”

Alex laughs. “You heard my voice yesterday.”

“Not like this,” Jack says, bringing his hands reverently to Alex’s throat like he wants to feel the way it moves when Alex talks. “It’s so much better in person.”

“That’s rude,” Alex says. “You listen to my voice on recordings all the time. Are you saying I’m worse on albums than I am live?”

“Whatever,” Jack says, drawing Alex into a kiss. He’s managed to suspiciously sidestep the question — Alex will have to interrogate him further later on —  but for now he just hugs Jack close. Yet another cheesy rom-com trope: kissing on the doorstep.

It makes Alex chuckle, so it might do it for Jack too. Alex pulls away. “They should make a Hallmark movie about us.”

“Fuck, I’d love that,” Jack says, grinning and stealing another kiss off Alex’s lips. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen a Hallmark movie, but I’d watch it if you were in it. Or if I was in it, honestly.”

“I don’t think they’d cast us as ourselves.” Their acting careers begin and end with the “Something’s Gotta Give” music video. “And I would want to be played by Jason Statham.”

“Jason Statham? Why the fuck?”

It had really just been the first name to come to mind, so Alex shrugs. “Handsome and British?”

Jack snorts. “I want to be played by Brad Pitt then.”

“What the fuck do you and Brad Pitt have in common?”

“Uh, excuse me? We’re both sexy and have cult followings.”

Alex laughs, loud. “Got me there.” It makes Jack smile indulgently, all pleased like he’d gotten precisely the reaction he’d wanted, and Alex loves him so much it threatens the break the seams holding his heart together and just flood him. It might already have done.

“Okay, it’s cold,” Jack says. “You’re letting all the fucking air in, you asshole.”

“You can’t be nice for more than one minute.” Alex edges past Jack into the house. It’s true they’re letting the cold night air inside, but if Jack’s going to be a shithead then two can play that game.

“It’s late and I’m tired,” Jack whines as they walk together to the bedroom. Alex drops his bag on the floor. He can unpack it later. Tomorrow, or the day after, or next week — definitely at some point. Maybe he can harass Jack into unpacking it for him. Bribe him with sexual favors or a fancy dinner or something.

“Babe, you’re preaching to the choir,” Alex says. He’s exhausted. Travel takes it out of him, and the prospect of curling up with Jack, cold feet pressed against calves under the warmth of the blanket, is so appealing it almost makes Alex cry. Putting on a silly affectation, he says, “Prepare the bed, monsieur, and I shall join you presently.”

“Ah, yes,” Jack says, rolling with it — because he’s the best and weirdest boyfriend ever, and so perfect for Alex — with an exaggerated bow. He jumps into bed, already pajama-clad in boxers and one of Alex’s shirts, kicking down the covers so they’re far back enough for Alex to slip underneath. In a French accent, he says, “Le bed is prepared, monsieur Gaskarth.”

“Merci,” Alex says, which is about the extent of his French knowledge. Carelessly discarding his travel clothes, he grabs a comfier shirt and pulls it on. Then he clambers into bed, Jack’s arm settling comfortably over his shoulders. Even more than their reunion hug/kiss/debate at the door, lying down with Jack in their bed at home restores in Alex a sense of peace that he only finds here. He wishes it existed in words instead of just feelings, but it doesn’t. Alex would know; he’s tried, hundreds of times, to write it down, has filled pages with efforts to find an adequate description, but there’s nothing like the feeling. Nothing like just being at home with Jack, redundant though that is.

(If it’s Jack, it’s home. But it’s nice to have a place where they can mutually agree to be at home with each other.)

“I missed this,” Jack murmurs, leaning his head onto Alex’s shoulder as Alex shifts to accommodate him. “Before you say it, I know you were only away for a day, but I can still miss it.”

“I was going to say I missed you too,” Alex says. “But now that you’ve mentioned it, Jack, come on. I was only gone for a day. Don’t get clingy.”

Jack bites Alex’s shoulder and Alex laughs. “You’re an asshole.”

“I know.”

“I’m joking,” Jack adds, yawning.

Alex reaches across Jack’s lap to grab his hand. It’s a little awkward, holding Jack’s left hand with his own, but they make it work. “Okay. Tell me about your day. We didn’t talk all day because I was traveling.”

Jack hums. “Seriously, now?”

“I talked you to sleep last night,” Alex protests. “It’s only fair.”

“So you don’t even want to know about my day? You’re just going to fall asleep?”

Alex shakes his head as Jack straightens up in mock-indignance. “Come on,” he entreats Jack, shuffling lower to curl up against him. Jack’s not small in most ways, because he’s the tallest in the band, and his personality fills every room like a gas, reaching the corners no matter how far they are. But he’s so skinny, so many lean lines, that it should be more difficult to cuddle up to him. Still, Alex finds it surpassingly easy. He rests his head against Jack’s chest, immediately attuned to the steady beat of his heart. When the foundations of Alex’s world are crumbling to the ground, when he’s grasping at straws or gasping for air, he can always sink an anchor into Jack’s heartbeat.

Objectively, it’s just a ba-bump rhythm like any other, but it’s music to Alex, and music has always been his driving force.

“Fine,” Jack huffs, curling his fingers into the cotton of Alex’s shirt. Alex burrows into him, closing his eyes, sliding his legs between Jack’s under the covers and slinging one arm over Jack’s stomach. “But it wasn’t that exciting. Mostly I just waited for you to get home.” Yeah, right. Even Jack can’t sit around doing nothing for a full day. “I don’t know. I washed my dishes from yesterday. Listened to all of Enema start to finish. Called my mom. It wasn’t that eventful.”

“You’re so ridiculous,” Alex mumbles, feeling his lips buzz against fabric. “Proud of you for doing the dishes, though.”

“Don’t get your hopes up. It won’t happen again.”

Alex smiles, too tired to laugh. “Sure.”

Jack is gently rubbing his knuckles against Alex’s back. “That was it. Not a lot to report, I told you.” “How’s your mom?”

“Good. She asked about you.”

“Oh? What did you say?”

“That you went dark side and became a drug dealer.” Alex snorts. “She took it well, of course. Told me she always knew you were a drug dealer inside and that she was glad you were living your truth.”

“She did not say that.”

“I am one hundred percent serious, I can call her right now and ask.”

If Alex weren’t so worn out, he’d keep up the banter, but he’s pretty sure neither of them are up for it at the moment, so he lets it drop. For a few minutes, they sink into an easy quiet. Alex sighs, content. His soul has stopped its restless search for comfort, now that he’s home, now that they’re reunited, and the calm washing over him is stronger than a sedative. “Mm, I’m so tired,” he says, mouth barely moving. “Wanna sleep.”

“I’ve been tired for, like, twenty-four hours,” Jack says. “Go to sleep. I’m right there with you.” He drops a kiss onto the top of Alex’s head, knuckles still tracing their pattern just under Alex’s shoulder blades, a sweet soporific lulling Alex to the edges of consciousness. He wants to kiss Jack goodnight, but he doesn’t have the energy to move. As it is, he’s pretty sure he’s already drifted off.

“G’night,” he remembers to say.

Jack drums his fingertips over Alex’s back, and even though Alex can’t see him, he knows Jack is smiling. “‘Night. Love you.”

Fuck, that’s what he’d forgotten. “Love you,” Alex exhales with the last of his waking energy, and falls asleep after that, with no reason left not to.

(He would say I’m happy to be home, but he’s already said it with love you, and he knows that Jack knows.)