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spidine · 1 year

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Let's Talk New Skill Ideas!

Here I'm gonna give my thoughts on the nitty gritty on what some new skills could mean for osrs including what they mean mechanically and how realistic some community ideas would be.

Buckle up this is gonna be a deep dive.

Sailing

Sailing has a lot of really great qualities in a new skill; It has a really strong fantasy, history with the game, the osrs team has worked on ideas with it before, and the appeal of it would probably bring more people to the game. THE PROBLEM however is that I think a lot of community leaders have already hung their hat on it when honestly their ideas for what it would mechanically add to the game are either really weak or downright impossible.

The mechanics that come up most are as follows;

Access to new locations/means of travel.

Free Movement across water.

Random explorable islands.

These ideas are honestly all fine but I think they raise a lot of issues in osrs specifically. Access to new areas is an especially unappealing idea considering that when new areas get added there's usually already something we do to get access to them, making that new requirement Sailing sort of just relegates the whole skill to being the "new region unlocker." Not only that but if this was one of Sailing's tentpoles it would mean that new areas would have to be added to make it appealing, which increases the amount of work needed to add the skill to the game considerably. Allowing Sailing to be used to go ports already in the game is also sort of unnappealing because getting around the current map is honestly not that hard asside from some weird corners of kourend and charter ships already connect pretty much every port. I think if this network of mobility didn't already exist it would be more appealing but I don't think people would vote to remove charter ships.

Free Movement Across Water is basically impossible without massive concessions. There's no way in the game's engine to allow a player to move freely on another moving vehicle, so at any given time the player or ship could not be an actor. Not only that but the actual waterways of gielinor are pretty cramped. Trying to navigate a ship around karamja crandor and entrana would be less like sailing the open seas and more like driving through a crowded parking lot. Not only have people suggested movement over the ocean but actually pvp sea battles which just.... OOPH.

And then of course we come to "random islands" AKA dungeoneering of the seas. This doesn't work in the same way Dungeoneering doesn't work. It'd be too self sufficient, isolated from the rest of the game, and sort of be nothing more than a really complex minigame. Plus if these islands did have competitive training methods for other skills that would just draw people away from other skilling methods and wouldn't really be "Sailing" content.

I DO wish sailing would work though, cause it is a fun fantasy with a lot of potential to introduce cool content but I don't think it compels me outside of this. But I do like a challenge, so I've tried to figure out how sailing the seas of gielinor would work.

so instead of sailing the actual oceans, what if when you began a sea voyage would be presented with an ocean map where you move a tiny version of your ship around like your character. In this world you can either just move your boat to the place you're trying to go while avoiding storms, sea monsters, and maybe players (if you're on a voyage to a wilderness port) or you can check out some of the islands that spawn in. When you move your ship to an island it loads out of this map and into the map for the island which gives you back control of your character, you may then explore the island with others players who have also landed there. While they wouldn't be rich with an infinite amount of resources the island would have a puzzle, treasure hunt, or enemy you could overcome for a bit of bonus Sailing experience.

There would also be encounters on your ship, but if you ran into a monster or enemy player on the open ocean it loads up a map of your ship your character can move around on, giving you the ability to get in personal with ocean combat.

If you're defeated on the open seas you're washed back by the docks you set off from and need to repair your ship before you set off again. If you reach your destination you get a bit of Sailing exp with a bit of bonus experience for each obstacle you overcame as well as a bonus if it's your first time traveling to that port.

By having the majority of sailing be these repeatable but interactive adventures that involve you and other characters it would hopefully feel less like a minigame and be a little less reliant on big new set pieces. I don't totally love this idea however.

Summoning (& Other Familiar Skills)

I have A TON of nostalgia for summoning. 2008-2010 was honestly my favorite runescape era as a kid and a big reason why I didn't get into osrs back in 2013 is because i liked late rs2 additions like summoning so much that I wasn't super interested in a game without them. Unfortunately I just don't think Summoning in any form will work with OSRS, the mechanics up for offer just introduce a cataclysmic amount of power creep. Even ideas proposed to make the skill less op sort of either show how op it is or just nerf it to the point of not feeling necessary.

There is however a VERY good use for Summoning and that's LEAGUES. Assuming a lot of the code for Summoning is in the 2007 backup already or could be taken from rs3's code, a league that parties like it's january 2008 could be pretty cool. Since it's a league the brokenness of summoning could be turned up to max and everyone would get to have their nostalgic fun with summoning again. I also think familiars don't need an entire skill devoted to them to make it into the game. I think letting thralls be summoned with magic is a good substitute for combat familiars and I think some of the more unique familiars could be implemented through letting a hunter catch them. Imagine if a Hunter could go catch a Barker Toad for use as a slightly weaker but less inventory space intensive alternative of the dwarf cannon? That's got my vote.

Engineering/Tinkering

I think the fantasy of an engineering skill would be a good way to fill out the runescape skill offerings, however I really haven't seen any suggested implementations of it I liked in the slightest. A lot of it seems to boil down to "automate other skills" which doesn't feel like a necessary addition to the game in any form. The other feature these skills often have is modifying your weapons, which I really don't want to see in OSRS. I like that weapons are quickly identifiable for what they do, I don't really want to see WoW style enchantments in Runescape.

I do think the fantasy of these skills could be used well though. Making new automated weapons like the dwarf multicannon but with other features and combat styles is fun. Making wacky weapons like hand cannons, hydraulic gauntlets, or steampunk shit would have a lot of charm, but I don't think any one of these ideas requires a whole skill to be added to the game, any of these items could just be made with combination Crafting, Smithing, and Runecraft.

Bard

This one had a massive suggestion post on the osrs reddit, so big that I didn't bother reading all of it. It does seem like a fun idea! I like the idea of being able to play an instrument to buff other players and maybe do some training with performance and whatever. Honestly my biggest complaint is the suggestion I saw was very menu heavy. A lot of people don't really think about it too much but runescape is a pretty menu light game, there aren't a ton of things you do that require you to constantly look at a menu, and I quite like it that way.

So having something like bard duels trap you in a minigame menu just feels disruptive to a gameplay cycle I like. I think finding a way to do this with just the items in your inventory and maybe the combat tab would make it a better fit but this is an idea I could potentially see myself voting for.

Riding

In runescape's engine it's impossible for a creature to not be a square collision box.

Good. Fucking. Luck.

Inscription

Okay here's an idea I really love but wasn't blown away with the suggested means of training. I really like the idea of making scrolls, blessings, and tomes. It's very flexible but really the thing that made me want inscription were THESE BAD BOYS.

Imagine Inscribing a new card throwing weapon that could either be thrown for range or used to cast spells with magic. The cards could be inscribed with Catalytic Runes, throwing 1 death card would let you cast a spell without spending its death rune cost. It wouldn't be infinite like staves but it'd be another way to move runes out of your inventory and into your hands.

Unfortunely my big issues with this suggestion is that it seems like a bit of a bankstanding (or lectern standing) skill which I'm pretty tired of, it's selling itself as an item sink for all items, and honestly I think a lot of what it's suggesting could just be done with combination RC/Crafting/Herblore.

I really think people should quit trying to sell their skill ideas as the end all be all item sink. I don't think crushing up various items is strong skill fantasy and if the weight of item sinking is placed entirely on one skill it means that an effective reduction in the population of items needed to be removed will only make the skill more difficult/expensive to train. Item sinks should be healthily spread out across the game.

I think a better way to train would be to place opportunities to inscribe in the world. such as restoring old writings in books or paintings, or maybe even doing some magical grafiti. The skill could still be an item sink but i think mostly just for herbs that aren't valued much by herblore.

Another Combat Skill

This is something I've seen basically no one suggest cause I think everyone is too afraid of how much it would shake up the game but I do think there could be a pretty big benefit to adding a new combat skill. It'd be something new to get gear for, another stat to potentially build around, it would be immediately applicable in large areas of the game. I don't think it's the best idea but I think people undervalue what it could bring to the table. The idea I had when trying to come up with any possible new combat skill was PSYCHIC, which would be strong against magic users in the same way magic is strong against melee armor.

The skill would be shorter range than ranged or magic, designed to really punish magic users who let you in too close and in prolonged fights they would build up special effects through Mantras to use against your enemy. It also wouldn't have a cost consuming resource like ranged or magic in exchange for being shorter range, but the defense of the gear would be a lot lower on average than melee gear.

The problem I have with my own idea here is it adds another "meter" to the game which I'm sort of against and also just god knows the reaching effect of adding a new combat style would be.

Foraging

I've seen this a few times and honestly while it does make a lot of sense I think it just doesn't really have a strong enough fantasy to entice anyone to vote for it. It would probably be a good skill for osrs to have already had, but not one that stands out as one to add. Especially as it mostly seems like another mining style gathering skill but with resources already found in game. I think the forestry update will cover the fantasy of this one.

Artisan's Revenge

I've seen some small support for implementing Artisan. Honestly I don't dislike Artisan but I think it could probably just be used as a way to add a new training method for Crafting. Just have all the Artisan crafted things be untradeables that use more intensive materials, hell use THIS as the item sink and break down jewelry and gear into components.

Just add Artisan Crafters to the game who give you Crafting Tasks but make it just a Crafting training method with crafting rewards. done and done.

My Ideas

Here are the other mock ups I did for brainstorming. The first is Astronomy which fleshes out the Shooting Star system to have a related skill and more stars to find.

I'm pretty fond of this one as being a skill rich with fantasy and not having much overlap with pre-existing skills but idk how much people will want to train by doing hot-cold clues and finding shooting stars.

The other idea I had was just.... make an osrs version of Archaeology cause it's fun.

Issue with Archaeology is I think it'd be sort of a bummer to just add an idea from rs3. It is a good idea though, honestly as someone who enjoys skilling I think Archaeology is almost the perfect skill aside from the rs3 bullshit sprinkled around it. (I am really proud of Fragmental though)

Despite a lot of problems I have with these suggestions I think the osrs team could turn almost any of them into a good skill, so I'm hopeful for the future. My biggest hope right now is jagex pitches us something we haven't though of yet cause I do feel pretty lukewarm on a lot of these ideas.

I think in order of my desire to vote for them I'd place them...

Archaeology

Sailing

Inscription

Summoning

Bard

Foraging

Whatever the rest were idc I've been writing this so long.

#osrs #long post

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bgs-junior · 2 years

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Kindness Matter

By Mrs Howe, Head of Junior School

I was treated to a random act of kindness that 17 years on still fills my heart with joy. It wasn’t long after I had returned to work after maternity leave and I was navigating the demands of the headship of a Pre-Prep and a sixth month baby. My husband often was away on business and getting out of the house for 7am was an operation of military precision. Anyone who has lived in London will be familiar with the treck from front door to car and this was no easy feat with a Maxicosi baby carrier, baby bag and laptop bag over my shoulder. Not every day, but a couple of times a week, I would pass a lady who was out with her west highland terrier. We would smile and say good morning while her dog barked madly at me and my son. She would apologise profusely for her dog - I would say it wasn’t a problem, please don’t worry, and then I would get on my way. These were fleeting conversations as I rushed to get to the car. Some months into this routine, as I opened my door to leave the house, I stumbled over a Sainsbury’s bag on our doorstep. I put the baby carrier down and took a look to see what it was. Inside the bag was a beautiful hand knitted pale blue cardigan. As I looked up, the lady with her westie was across the road. She smiled and waved to me. I’m not particularly sentimental about keeping items of baby clothes, but I still have the blue cardigan tucked away in a cupboard - and if I think about it, I’m sure I’ve hung onto the cardigan because of what it represents - a pure and simple act of generosity, thoughtfulness and kindness. This is a story I have shared with the children in an assembly a few years ago and it’s one I have been thinking of especially this week as it was National Kindness Day on Sunday 13th November.

We’ve adopted the theme of kindness this half term for our assemblies and form time programme and as it is also Anti-Bullying Week this week, kindness is very much at the top of the agenda. We've been thinking really carefully about how to be kind and what effect kindness can have on us. Starting with Carol McCloud’s book Have You Filled a Bucket Today? A Guide to Daily Happiness for Kids we looked at how everyone has an invisible ‘bucket’ that needs to be filled with kindness. We then had a lovely assembly from Mrs Hooley who is an Assistant Head in the Senior School who talked to the pupils about the many different ways to be kind, including being kind to yourself; a trait women find particularly hard sometimes.

In preparing for our kindness theme, I’ve become quite fascinated with the idea of kindness and how such a seemingly simple concept is multifaceted. Broadcaster and 1989 Dame Alice Harpur School Alumna, Claudia Hammond, has recently published a new book, The Keys to Kindness, How to be Kind to Yourself, Others and the World. In her book she suggests that as a society we do not value kindness enough and that we should try to: “notice and treasure the humbler virtue of kindness more than we sometimes do.” I couldn’t agree more!

I was particularly interested in how Claudia Hammond explores the psychological research that has identified how kindness and empathy are critical to child development, which in turn shape the way adults deal with relationships and challenges throughout their lives. As educators it is critical therefore for us to get the building blocks in place in the Junior School and ensure that we value and help pupils develop their skills in kindness at all times. I feel so proud to lead a Junior School where we define success by the whole person, recognising achievement beyond the academic. In the Junior School we use vernacular of the IB Learner Profile to acknowledge the growth of the whole child. There are three key IB Learner Profile attributes that spring to mind when we think about kindness: to be caring, principled and open-minded. These are attributes we highly value and as we presented Year 5 pupils with their Eagle Awards today it was lovely to see so much kindness on display.

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lindsaystravelblogs · 2 years

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Next day and the next - Friday and Saturday

Friday

Our guesthouse was in Stykkisholmur - love the names here. At least this one was ‘sort of’ written in letters I recognised and was partially pronouncible. Most are neither.

We had an early breakfast and drove the kilometre to the ferry queue. It took a while to pack the jigsaw of vehicles into the hold. Each car, truck or camper was fitted like a jigsaw with maybe 2 centimetres to spare, making getting out at the other end another logistical challenge with everyone needing to take their turn to navigate their very cautious exit. I am not sure what they would have done if there had been a single right-hand drive vehicle in the mix. We had one stop at an island (Flatey?) to let some passengers off, but otherwise, it was a smooth trip to Brjanslaekur.

We then drove through more spectacular landscapes – towering mountains, often with large areas of snow, and incredibly steep, often almost vertical flanks, certainly pretty exhausting to climb even 50 metres. So much is green, from very dark to amazingly light and bright, almost glowing green, surrounded by brooding black or dark grey cliffs accentuating the colour. And water – everywhere, there is water. Waterfalls create streams, little trickles to raging rivers, and the fields are often waterlogged. That is not to mention the fiords: sheer walls and very deep water, glistening blue, occasionally green, and everywhere are more streams and more waterfalls pouring crystal-clear fresh water into the brine. The volume of fresh water is stupendous – how can there be that much snow melting for month after month and never stop?

During the afternoon, we explored a few side roads through the fiord and then drove out to Latrarbjarg, the westernmost point of Europe (and, would you believe, Iceland) to what is regarded as one of the best bird cliffs in the world. There were puffins, guillemots, kittiwakes, fulmars, terns and gulls in their thousands, mostly clinging to their precious footholds on the edge of the cliff. I think I read that the cliffs run for many miles with the highest point 441 metres with a sheer drop into the ocean below. There were also a few land birds and we added about 6 new species to our Iceland list – but still all species that we have seen elsewhere (but often subspecies unique to Iceland).

We walked quite a long way up to a good vantage point and took lots of photos, but I tried going a bit further than Heather, hoping for a better photo. I didn’t get anything any better, but I lost my Australian Geographic cap. The wind blew my hood off and away went my cap – just a metre too far the other side of the no-go fence to reach with my hiking stick. Maybe it might make a nice nest for some lucky bird?

Alas, we were only a kilometre or two from the birds when we hit a rock in the road and punched a hole in the side of the rear passenger’s side tyre. We managed to change it reasonably quickly (with absolutely no help from the many cars that drove around us without stopping on the very narrow road) but the spare tyre is one of those crappy temporary tyres. Quite scary, very poor road handling, and a serious risk to life and limb in my view, but we got back to our Patreksfjordur hotel safely (through those slightly scary tunnels again) despite the problems.

A complication was that it was after garage-closing time on Friday with the only tyre repair place in town closed until Monday. I don’t fancy driving another 500 kilometres with a semi-substitute tyre to where we might get a new one on Monday.

We ate in the Hotel restaurant that night: a pretty ordinary meal that cost about $AU120.

Saturday

We woke early but dozed for longer than intended so it was 9am by the time we went down for breakfast. It was a relatively healthy breakfast and we avoided over-indulging. I then enlisted the help of the receptionist to ring Hertz about our tyre problem. While talking on the phone with Mr Hertz, I saw a couple of dolphins cavorting in the bay across the road and that created some excitement because the receptionist had never seen them there before. She left me and ran across the road for a closer look and some iPhone pics. After some confusion, Hertz arranged for the local garage to open just for us, to get us safely back on the road. The tyre mechanic was wonderful, friendly and very helpful, and he changed the tyre and checked all the others with no grizzles about us interrupting his weekend. Total bill was about $AU475 to supply and fit (would have taken me at least another hour longer) which we will try to claim against our travel insurance – wishful thinking! I have to say I was very happy to have a real tyre back on the car – it handled so much better and gave me a lot of confidence.

We visited the supermarket and posted some postcards and got back on the road again by 12.30pm and drove on to the quaint little village of Talknafyordur where we sat on the wharf and ate our lunch whilst watching the birds – a wonderful half hour or so.

During the rest of the afternoon we drove north – a very circuitous route as always in Iceland – along one side of a fiord around the corner and back along the other side – then repeat in the next fiord (and the next and the next). At one point, we tried to avoid a tunnel by snaking up and over the mountain on a very narrow winding track, but eventually turned around and opted for the tunnel after all.

Almost every village, even every isolated single farm, has their own tiny church. They are almost all identical: a small blocky cream-painted hall with a couple of windows on each side and a red-painted pyramid with a cross on top for the spire. W have seen dozens of them and photographed a few. We saw one that was essentially the same cookie-cutter design only a little bigger with two of them joined together – with a radical departure from protocol – a blue roof. Maybe the regional cathedral?

There were many waterfalls, one particularly big one that we spent almost an hour photographing, and we finished the day quite hoarse from all our ‘Wow! Look at thats!’ all along the route.

We drove past a sign for Holt and down part of the road to Flateyri (that we consistently shuddered when we pronounced it Flat-tyre) and on to our destination in Isafjordur that night. It was a nice little town but still the biggest since we left Reykjavik.

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neutinya · 3 years

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Some relationships are you, a human, with a human partner, and other are you, a human, and your 240cm tall monster bf, but that's okay - !! I included their backstory as well as the setting up of the general context for this AU below the cut so if you’re interested,,, do consider reading it fhdjdj;;; I'm really happy with how this turned out and it's super fun to draw monster tooru and his 4 arms lmao I'm super excited for this AU;;; I really wanna draw more of it dndjjxjd

Iwa is monster-hunter royal blood. However he doesn't want to be heir to the monster hunter shit so he decided to run away the day before his coronation??

As a kid he would play with all the monster animals near the forest which is where he met his lizard familiar and llama ceb. The day he runs away he brings them with him??

The moment he ran away from his kingdom and title as prince he was immediately hunted down by hunters sent by his own family for dishonouring them the Iwaizumi name. Like he's straight up wanted??? ahhh

Somewhere along the way he meets Tooru and they probably wouldn't get along at the start

?? Like they meet at some weird beer house?? And Iwa obviously sticks out because he's human and humans aren't exactly super welcomed because of the history between monsters and humans. Iwa being oblivious to the monster world obviously doesn't realise why this four armed dude won't stop pestering him in spite of his attempts to keep a low profile.

Tooru had approached him because he was sure if he didn't step in, Iwa would have been killed

Iwa was initially extremely resistant to Tooru's "advances" until Tooru whispers into Iwa's ear that "I don't know if you realised but almost every monster in this beer house is staring at you with the intent to kill, so unless you want to leave this place alive, play along and let me get you out of here"

And Iwa just looks around the room and he realises that Tooru was right so he plays along and they try to leave but one of the monsters in the beer house walks up to them and asks Tooru to back off so they could kill Iwa, and Tooru is just like "no can do, he's a friend of mine" and the dude is just like "move." But Tooru is adamant much to the annoyance of the other. A fight kinda breaks out, but much to Iwa's surprise, Tooru managed to take all of them down with ease

As they go aside, Iwa just asks Tooru why doesn't he want to kill him like the rest of the monsters and Tooru is just 🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷 Iwa apologises for causing such a big commotion and getting Tooru involved unnecessarily. Tooru says it's not a problem and Iwa not really having that much money on him, asks if he could return him in some other way? He offers a family heirloom at first but Tooru is just like "Not interested, although how about you let me tag along wherever you're headed?"

Iwa’s response is just "???" Tooru says "look, you aren't getting anywhere in these parts as a human, if I tag along, you won't have to worry too much about being killed and you returned the favour, it's a win win."

So that's how they kinda go off on their journey!!! Iwa actually learns a lot about monsters from Tooru who seemed much more knowledgeable than he looked (no offense to Tooru but that was Hajime’s genuine first impression) There were so many different types of monsters and Iwa was just?? So amazed and almost excited that there were so many things for him to learn and explore??

Like okay they had a bad first impression but he was kinda starting to like Tooru as a companion, listening to way Tooru told all those stories offered him a comfort that he never had back at home

Tooru did most of the talking honestly but Iwa was always intently listening and Tooru could tell he was intrigued and super attentive so he didn’t mind

He did ask Iwa about why he was wandering around in the first place and why the hell was he just traversing across the land with no plan or knowledge of the terrain. Iwa tells Tooru he ran away from his family but neglected to tell Tooru he was of royal monsterhunter blood. Iwa fires back the same question and Tooru responds saying “I get bored of spending all my time in the same old place every day.” neglecting to tell Iwa the fact that he too was of royal blood, the king to one of the many monster kingdoms. (Actually one of the most feared in fact??)

I was thinking the four armed form isn't his real monster form but a less scary version, he's actually a huge fearsome beast but he would walk around in this form to blend with the common folk. This also explains why people don’t recognize him, because if they really knew who he was, they’d be terrified of him.

Tooru is extremely flirty and generally enjoys teasing Hajime. Iwa's lizard does not like Tooru at all. It would be sitting on Iwa's shoulder, breathing small fireballs at Tooru whenever the brunette got too close- For example, when Tooru tries to wrap an arm around Iwa's shoulder or waist, Haji’s lizard would get extremely angry and began attacking him. Tooru is super upset about this tiny little creature preventing him from getting close to his new human companion, but nevertheless, he learns to pick moments where the lizard is asleep to try and engage with Haji

Sidenote, Iwa is a really fucking good archer and good at knives. He may not have had the heart to be a monster hunter, but he definitely had the physical skills to be one if he desired.

Of course there’s a bunch of shenanigans, but honestly speaking there’s also a good amount of sexual tension?? They have a lot of moments where they kinda save each other, whether it be having run ins with unfriendly monsters or humans, to navigating dangerous terrain and making hard decisions;;

They grow to be rather close friends I would dare say;; In fact, for the most part, Tooru would be Iwa's first genuine friend :(( Iwa was never given the luxury of having friends growing up. He spent most of his time training to be a monster hunter or learning about them, which is why he grew super attached to Tooru platonically at first

Once they have a pretty mean run in where Tooru ends up seriously hurt;; Iwa was so scared that he would lose Tooru at that moment;; Tooru fake dies to kinda tease Iwa but he didn't expect Iwa to cry, so as Iwa is there like "don't die on me you idiot-" Tooru "comes back to life" and is all like "awww is Iwa-chan crying because of me?" And Iwa, embarrassed, just punches him in the chest and wipes away his tears like "shut the fuck up asshole"

Tooru is just like "ow- I may not be dead but I'm still kinda hurt you know?" And Iwa feels bad so he just tries to play it off like "that's what you deserve dumbass" before treating Tooru's wounds. They end up spending the night at this cave near a lake where they decided to stay for a few days since Tooru was pretty beat up and the weather was pretty bad

Haji pretty much nursed Tooru back to health, finding berries, herbs and all that during the day in order to make medicine and food

I think at one point Tooru comments "You're really good at this kinda thing huh?" And Iwa is just confused like "good at what?" And Tooru elaborates "taking care of people. Not everyone can make medicine like you do you know?" And Iwa just says it was nothing and he learned most of it from reading when he was a kid

Also like I said the weather was pretty bad so imagine Iwa curling up next to his llama and lizard for warmth. Tooru finds it so fucking adorable??? Clearly the two of them loved Iwa and vice versa, but he couldn't help but feel a little jealous at the sight uxjxhdh

So like one night he just casually says "you guys sure look warm over there" and Iwa just looks at him like 😐

"I gave you my cape you know" and Tooru just "Monsters can't regulate heat like humans do, at least not my species" That was a lie but Iwa didn't know that, so he kinda just looks at Tooru funny before scooting over to Tooru and lying down next to him. His llama and lizard follow, and scoot on Tooru's other side so Tooru is kinda sandwiched in between Haji and the pets. Iwa just mumbles a quiet "now go to sleep dumbass" and Tooru just smiles like a fucking idiot

Iwa quickly dozes off but Tooru not so much, when he was sure Iwa was asleep he gently drapes the cape over Iwa instead before going to bed himself

The next day Iwa is the first to wake up and much to his fucking surprise, he was pretty much incapable of moving because Tooru had somehow wound up hugging him with two of his arms. He was so embarrassed he thought he could die so he could only stay there and not do anything. After while he realises that staying like that could only mean more mental suffering so he slowly tries inching away from Tooru to which he eventually succeeds

He does his morning routine which was to look for berries and herbs because Tooru needed quite a bit of medicine. Tooru was definitely close to being back to his healthy normal self but he still needed to make sure that everything was in check

#oiiwa #iwaoi #I fell in love with a monster king #haikyuu #haikyuu!!#my art #Iwaizumi Hajime #oikawa tooru #apparently I'm a monster fucker now #and because of that I ended up projecting onto iwa #help

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saurexhas · 3 years

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Love is Blind - Part 4

Time for couple drama! Nightmare doesn’t want anything to hurt his precious little moon, but how does said moon feel about the special treatment?

PS: Make sure you go to the end to find a special surprise that I’ll be doing for this series!

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Adjusting to blindness is never something you thought that you’d have to do, but it was the unfortunate reality you found yourself in. There certainly wasn’t a manual to it either, but you were managing thanks to everyone’s help. There were several days first spent on bedrest while you recovered from the initial incident, and it gave you a chance to come to terms with your fate and what your actions had brought. You still didn’t regret them though, because your sight was truly a small price to pay for Nightmare’s life.

That didn’t mean that the adjustment period was easy, and you probably would’ve succumbed to despair more than once if Nightmare hadn’t been by your bedside almost the entire time. Your bedroom was quickly turned into his temporary office, allowing him to continue his work and further his plans while offering you the reassuring touch of a tentacle that always lingered on your arm as proof of his presence.

When your partner was finally comfortable with the idea of you leaving your bed, it was… well, difficult would be putting it mildly. You never once realized just how much you relied on sight for almost everything. It took a day and a bit of you simply wandering around your room to not bump into everything, and even longer to actually be able to navigate by touch. Thankfully, nobody in the castle really cared about your appearance, so you weren’t judged by what clothes you were able to find and put on by yourself.

Your room was about the only place where you could safely be allowed to wander on your own at first. The castle was a confusing labyrinth of pathways and corridors that were already difficult to navigate. Attempts to explore the castle in the past had led to you almost getting lost in some abandoned part of the castle, so there was no way you were even going to try such now. But even the areas that were once familiar to you were now alien as you relied on sound and touch to guide you instead of the sense you so heavily relied on.

For the first while, Nightmare personally escorted you on any walks outside of your room. This was mostly to and from meals, a time where you could practically feel everyone’s eyes on the two of you. Your seat had also been moved towards the head of the table, just to the right of Nightmare. The dark god claimed that it was so that he could assist you should you need help with your meals. Killer was quick to point out how any of them could help you though, teasing that the real reason was simply to stick next to you like “an overprotective boyfriend”. According to Cross, the look on Nightmare’s face had been one of pure murder… even if everyone at the table knew that the idiot was right.

One thing that Killer also nailed was how protective your boyfriend suddenly was. Gone were the days of you having free reign over the castle. Instead, in the instances where he couldn’t personally escort you, one of the others was chosen to be your guide instead. Even as you grew more comfortable heading to the areas you often frequented, the rule didn’t let up. He’d also put a stop to any training or sparring plans you might’ve had, insisting that it was too dangerous to continue when you couldn’t see an attack coming.

While you understood that he did it out of love, that didn’t change how frustrating it was. You already couldn’t read, play cards, or even really cook, the last of the three likely being on the dark god’s ban list had there not been enough obvious difficulty to deter you. Sparring with the guys, while rough, was one of the only hobbies you had left, and you trusted that none of them would seriously hurt you. But Nightmare refused to listen to any arguments you put forward, and none of the others would entertain the idea for fear of their lord’s wrath.

So on top of learning to navigate a world of utter darkness, adapting daily chores to your new limitations, and being treated like you were fragile, you were utterly bored. And as days turned to weeks, your frustrations grew. You were used to everyone simply treating you as one of the crew, albeit one that Nightmare favoured. When you first arrived here, you had to fight for your right to remain and not be turned into dinner. The others had respected you for the most part, and if you wanted to engage in any of their usual antics, they didn’t hesitate to include you. Now though, everyone seemed intent on treating you as if you were some doll, one to be sat on a shelf and never touched. Everyone was suddenly afraid of hurting you, and you were no longer one of the crew. You were something else, above the others now that your relationship with the god of negativity had gotten out. Pyre had even stated that if Nightmare was their king, then that made you their ‘queen’ in a sense. Suddenly, you were set to be a ruler over the dark god’s future empire, and everyone’s views of you shifted because of it.

One choice, one that seemed so infallible before, had turned your whole life upside down. You expected to be injured in place of Nightmare, but not blinded. And while trying to deal with such a severe change of lifestyle, you were now being placed on a pedestal and nobody would treat you the same. Part of you wanted to take your frustrations out on the nearby wall, but that would likely only bring someone running to tend to your hand as if it were broken. No, you needed to go to the source of the problem.

While navigating the halls by yourself was more difficult than you could’ve ever guessed, it was made easier by your forethought to create a mental map through touch whenever you were being escorted about. The subtle change in the sound of your footfall let you know when you’d left the solid foundation of the hall your bedroom was on in favour of the landing for the grand staircase. Following the railing with your hand, you found where the hallway changed directions. To go downstairs would take you to the common room and the kitchens, while upstairs led to the library and Nightmare’s office. With your goal upstairs, you carefully shuffled along the steps, shoving your foot forward until it came in contact with the next. When your feet slid freely along the floor and the railing straightened out, you knew that you’d made it to the third floor where you’d find your partner.

After a bit of difficulty gathering your bearings and navigating the third floor of the castle, you came to Nightmare’s office. The door was open only a crack, enough to give others the hint to leave him be while allowing him to hear if any chaos should erupt from the lower levels. Ever so slowly, you pushed the door open, only to cringe as a painfully loud squeak of the hinges alerted your boyfriend to your presence. “MC? What are you doing up here? Whoever brought you here should know that I didn’t wish to be disturbed.”

“Oh, nobody brought me here, I came up here myself. Wasn’t that hard,” you shrugged, lying a bit at the ease of which you got here but determined to make the dark god see that you weren’t helpless. “We need to talk.”

A sigh emanated from Nightmare’s direction, and you could imagine how he was pinching the bridge of his nose as he often did when annoyed or frustrated with something. “First off, I thought I made it clear that you are to have someone escort you around the castle to minimize accidents. And secondly, can whatever conversation you want wait? I have plenty of-”

“No actually, it can’t,” you cut him off, mustering your confidence as you stepped fully into the room and closed the door behind you. “I need to talk to you now, not later.”

Being unable to read his body language was frustrating, leaving everything to your imagination with no way to know if you were interpreting things correctly. You knew that he didn’t like taking orders from anyone, not even you, leaving you to wonder if the silence was due to your demanding tone. Perhaps you should’ve worded things better, but before you could worry too much, Nightmare responded to your demanding request. “Very well, for you little moon, I will make time. Please, take a seat and share what’s on your mind.”

It took every ounce of focus you had to find one of the plush chairs on the other side of his desk, sinking down into it once you found it and being thankful that you didn’t have to fumble around too much. It wouldn’t do your argument for more independence any good if your actions showed a need for more support. “Alright…” You’d thought long and hard about how to get your point across to someone as stubborn as your partner, but now that you were here, it was almost a struggle to get your thoughts out cohesively. “I… I’m tired of everyone treating me differently ever since the incident, including you.”

“My dear, I’ve done nothing of the sort.”

“Yes you have!” Forcing a breath through your nose, your efforts to calm your temper are marginally successful as your unintentional fists relax and grip the arms of the chair. “Everyone is treating me like I’m suddenly delicate, like I’m unable to take a punch or take care of myself. True, it’s been hard to adjust to being blind, but I’ll never get better at accepting things if you all keep coddling me!”

“No one is coddling you!” Nightmare growled in return, his voice growing more agitated as he tried to argue against you. “The others are simply doing their part to ensure that you can rest and heal in comfort!”

A growl built up in your throat as well as your partner continued to deny your claims, your fingers digging into the chair to keep them in place. “That comment brings up another thing. Ever since our relationship got out, everyone’s been treating me as if they’re serving me, like I’m something special that needs to be protected.”

“That’s because you are, little moon. You are my chosen partner, and you knew from the beginning that the title would carry some weight. I am a god my dear, and the ruler of any mortal within this castle. But you’re no longer some random mortal. Now you stand beside me, equal to me in power and authority. They have merely been instructed to show you the same respect and care that they show me.”

To hear it spelled out like that, like it should’ve been obvious to you from the beginning, left a lump in your throat. Was this always what would happen to you? Were you doomed to be lonely up at the top with nobody but the god of negativity himself to be your supposed equal? “I… I-I don’t want that…” Your words came out mumbled, eyes burning as your damaged tear ducts tried and failed to produce any tears. When prompted to speak up, you were practically screaming. “I don’t want that! I don’t want to be so… so alone! You might be fine with being above them, but for the longest time, they treated me as a friend! Now, it’s as if our friendships meant nothing, whenever I reach out all I get is coldness. I want to be able to joke and play around with Killer, I want Butcher to call me names and tease me! I want Pyre to rattle on about how great he is, or to spend time reading with Dust! I want to be able to go up to Cross, hug the stupid fluffy marshmallow, and not have him feel like a freaking statue!”

Your yelling left you short of breath, your chest heaving as you calmed down from your emotional tirade. For a while, your heavy breathing was the only sound echoing in the room, shoulders eventually shuddering as tearless sobs broke from your throat. Your own arms wrapped around yourself, as if trying to keep yourself from truly falling apart. What you weren’t quite expecting though was for a pair of cool, slimy arms to join them as Nightmare hugged you as well, the god having moved around the desk while you were distracted with your own emotional turmoil.

“I’m sorry little moon,” he started, one hand gently petting your hair while a tentacle took to stroking up and down your back in a soothing manner. “I grew so used to my underlings being just that, and I never considered what your views on the matter would be. Let me make this clear though, they treat you special because you are special. No other entity in the entirety of the multiverse has made me feel an emotion as positive as love since my childhood five hundred years ago. While many of the worlds out there fear me, and even those that serve me do well to avoid angering me, you had no such hesitation my dear. As we grew closer, you grew bolder. You would speak your mind freely, even if to criticize my actions or leadership. While it was downright infuriating at first, I grew to respect your courage and tenacity, but also the fact that you accepted me for who I am and not what I once was several lifetimes ago.”

As he spoke in such a calm and soothing voice, you felt your breathing settle as you snuggled into his chest. After he paused for a bit, Nightmare’s tentacles quickly scooped you up into the air, allowing him to settle in your chair and place you on his lap. The comforting gestures continued, serving to keep you calm without the use of his abilities. “You are special MC, never forget that. But also remember that you are my partner, and I will see you treated with the same respect as I receive, nothing less.”

You couldn’t help but tense at his words, about to go off again about how that flew in the face of your wishes. But before you could reiterate the entirety of your emotional rant from before, he shushed you with a gentle finger against your lips, and you could practically hear him smiling through his voice. “Your voice is as powerful in this castle as my own, and if things are not to your liking, then let your voice be heard. They are so used to hearing my voice that those idiots assume your voice will speak the same requests… even I made that poor assumption, and for that I am sorry. If you wish for them to treat you as they always have, then you need only tell them and I can promise you that you will receive what you ask for.”

“You… you mean it?” It seemed too good to be true, but Nightmare was often true to his word with you and the other residents of the castle. Still, it felt like it was too easy to simply ask for them to treat you as if you weren’t any different.

“Little moon, I swear it upon my name that you will be treated as you wish to be in this castle.” The dark god nuzzled you a bit as he made his promise, pulling a soft giggle from you despite the dry feeling in the back of your throat. It wasn’t often that you shouted so much, and you were definitely glad that you closed the door on your way in.

Deciding to push your luck a bit, another request found its way onto your tongue. “Then… if I asked you to stop forcing me to have an escort everywhere, would you respect my wishes?”

“MC, you know that I am just doing that to protect you-”

“Night, we’re in your domain, aren’t we? You know everyone who enters and leaves, making this castle literally the safest place for me. I’m getting better at navigating without my eyes, and I really think that I’d be fine!” When he still didn’t sound convinced, muttering about potential accidents that could happen, you merely threw more options at him. “Look, I’m far from the first blind human. If you’re that worried about me bumping into something or falling down the stairs, then get me a… blind person stick? Cane? Or a seeing-eye dog! One that Butcher would definitely not eat!”

“Is… this your way of asking for a dog?”

“Not my intention, but I certainly wouldn’t complain if you did actually get me one that can help me.” Reaching up, you cupped his cheek with your hand, thumb rubbing just under his good eye. “I’ll never have the same freedom as I did Night, but I know that I can learn to live with the consequences of my actions. And don’t you dare blame yourself for what I decided was a good idea in the spur of the moment.” Even now knowing the consequences of your choice, you’d still make the same call a hundred times over again, enduring the pain each time, if it meant that you didn’t have to see the one you loved suffer.

The god of negativity must have felt your conviction, because he didn’t try to talk you out of it or turn the blame around to be on himself. Instead, he merely sighed as one hand came to hold the one on his face, pulling it away to place a skeletal ‘kiss’ against your palm. “Very well, it seems that you’ve convinced me. I seem to have chosen quite the precocious human as my mate, you seem to be naturally born for commanding and convincing others. From now on, you are free to roam the castle by yourself, on two conditions. The first is that we give you a means of contacting me directly, should you find yourself lost or injured alone. The second is that you will still accept an escort for any trips outside of the castle, no matter your past familiarity with whatever world. Do we have a deal?”

Honestly, Nightmare’s requests were completely fair and reasonable. While you did have your phone, it was still extremely difficult to navigate it, and you likely wouldn’t be able to use it reliably in an emergency. If your boyfriend had an alternative method, then it would be good to have the freedom to go wherever, but with the safety net of knowing that someone will come if you need them to. And as embarrassing as an escort might be outside of the castle, it was still smart. It took you quite a bit of time and practice to navigate the castle on your own, despite your past familiarity with it, and a new space would require such with the aid of someone who could see. There was also the fact that, now that your relationship was public, it was only a matter of time before one of the idiots that you called your friends would let word get out. Then, you’d have a target on your back, a weak spot to be used against Nightmare. It was honestly for the best if you didn’t leave the castle alone anymore, not with several capable fighters that could protect you. “Those requests both seem quite reasonable to me, so I accept.”

“Good, I am glad that you can see I only want what is best for you, my dear. Keeping you safe is just as important to me as my goals.” After a moment more of cuddles, he eventually set you back into your chair alone, his footfalls indicating that he was going back to his own behind his desk. “I’ll see to the creation of a totem of sorts, one made of my own magic. It will allow you to contact me and call me to your side, no matter where you are. Between this, and my assurance that you will be treated as you wish to be, have I dealt with the issue you came to speak to me about?”

“Mhm, I honestly feel a lot better too, so thanks. I can’t see it, but I’m sure you’ve got plenty of work to get done. I’ll leave you be so that you can get it finished.” When he didn’t try to stop you, you got up from your seat and wandered back towards the door. Just as you opened it though to step back outside, you turned back and sent him a wide smile. “Thank you for being so understanding and accepting Night, I really appreciate it.”

“I can tell,” he chuckled as the sound of pen scribbling on paper echoed through the otherwise quiet room. “You go enjoy yourself my dear, I shall speak with you again at dinner.” With his dismissal, you left the door in the same barely open position that you originally found it in before heading back to the stairs. It was about time for you to do what Nightmare told you to do and make your voice be heard. Then maybe your friends would go back to how they used to be and stop treating you differently.

******************************************************************************

Alright, so if you didn’t read my post earlier this week about getting you readers involved, you can read it here because I’m not repeating myself. (aka I’m lazy XD)

And since nobody commented on that post, it made it pretty clear to me that relying on Tumblr comments isn’t a good idea and that I should go with a poll website. So... here ya go!

https://strawpoll.com/634w9bq42

In the next part, Nightmare will be away running important errands, so MC will have to find some way to entertain themselves! Where they go is up to you, as are the result benefits from your choices. I’ll be looking forward to seeing what you all choose!

First | < Prev | Part 4 (Here) | Next >

#mc #x reader #nightmare sans #established relationship #tw blindness #mc doesn't like being treated like they're fragile #mc is honestly just trying to hold themselves together #depression not making an appearance this time but likely soon #is mc gonna get a puppy?#nightmare would totally get them a puppy #you better vote or I'll steal your kneecaps /j #seriously though please vote #you guys need to participate for this idea to work and be fun #it'll be worth it promise #saurex works

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thevalleyisjolly · 3 years

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Hi there! If you feel up to it, would you be willing to expand a bit more on the idea of white creators creating poc characters who are ‘internally white’, especially in a post-racialized or racism-free setting & how to avoid it? It’s something I’m very concerned about but I haven’t encountered a lot of info about it outside of stories set in real world settings. Thanks & have a good day!

Hey, thanks for asking, anon! It’s a pretty nuanced topic, and different people will have different takes on it. I’ll share my thoughts on it, but do keep in mind that other people of colour may have different thoughts on the matter, and this is by no means definitive! These are things I’ve observed through research, trial and error, my own experiences, or just learning from other writers.

The first thing I guess I want to clarify is that I personally am not opposed to a society without racism in fiction. It’s exhausting and frankly boring when the only stories that characters of colour get are about racism! So it’s a relief sometimes to just get to see characters of colour exist in a story without dealing with racism. That being said, I feel like a lot of the time when creators establish their settings as “post-racial,” they avoid racism but they also avoid race altogether. Not aesthetically -they may have a few or even many characters with dark skin- but the way the characters act and talk and relate to the world are “race-less” (which tends to end up as default white American/British or whatever place the creator comes from). Which I have complicated thoughts on, but the most obvious thing that springs to mind is how such an approach implies (deliberately or not) that racism is all there is to the way POC navigate the world. It’s definitely a significant factor, particularly for POC in Western countries, but it’s not the only thing! There’s so much more to our experiences than just racial discrimination, and it’s a shame that a lot of “post-racial” or “racism-free” settings seem to overlook that in their eagerness to not have racism (or race) in their stories.

A quick go-to question I ask when I look at characters of colour written/played by white creators is: if this was a story or transcript I was reading, with no art or actors or what have you, would I be able to tell that this character is a character of colour? How does the creator signal to the audience that this is a character of colour? A lot of the time, this signal stops after the physical description - “X has dark skin” and then that’s all! (We will not discuss the issue of racial stereotypes in depth, but it should be clear that those are absolutely the wrong way to indicate a character of colour).

This expands to a wider issue of using dark skin as a be-all-end-all indication of diversity, which is what I mean by “aesthetic” characters of colour (I used the term “internally white” originally but upon further reflection, it has some very loaded implications, many of which I’m personally familiar with, so I apologize for the usage). Yes, the character may not “look” white, but how do they interact with the world? Where do they come from? What is their background, their family? A note: this can be challenging with diaspora stories in the real world and people being disconnected (forcibly or otherwise) from their heritage (in which case, those are definitely stories that outsiders should not tell). So let’s look at fantasy. Even the most original writer in the world bases their world building off existing things in the real world. So what cultures are you basing your races off of? If you have a dark skinned character in your fantasy story, what are the real world inspirations and equivalents that you drew from, and how do you acknowledge that in a respectful, non-stereotyped way?

(Gonna quickly digress here and say that there are already so many stories about characters of colour disconnected from their heritage because ‘They didn’t grow up around other people from that culture’ or ‘They moved somewhere else and grew up in that dominant culture’ or ‘It just wasn’t important to them growing up’ and so on. These are valid stories, and important to many people! But when told by (usually) white creators, they’re also used, intentionally or not, as a sort of cop-out to avoid having to research or think about the character’s ethnicity and how that influences who they are. So another point of advice: avoid always situating characters outside of their heritage. Once or twice explored with enough nuance and it can be an interesting narrative, all the time and it starts being a problem)

Another thing I want to clarify at this point is that it’s a contentious issue about whether creators should tell stories that aren’t theirs, and different people will have different opinions. For me personally, I definitely don’t think it’s inherently bad for creators to have diverse characters in their work, and no creator can live every experience there is. That being said, there are caveats for how such characters are handled. For me personally, I follow a few rules of thumb which are:

Is this story one that is appropriate for this creator to tell? Some experiences are unique and lived with a meaningful or complex history and context behind them and the people to whom those experiences belong do not want outsiders to tell those stories.

To what extent is the creator telling this story? Is it something mentioned as part of the narrative but not significantly explored or developed upon? Does it form a core part of the story or character? There are some stories that translate across cultures and it’s (tentatively) ok to explore more in depth, like immigration or intergenerational differences. There are some stories that don’t, and shouldn’t be explored in detail (or even at all) by people outside those cultures.

How is the creator approaching this story and the people who live it? To what extent have they done their research? What discussions have they had with sensitivity consultants/readers? What kind of respect are they bringing to their work? Do they default to stereotypes and folk knowledge when they reach the limits of their research? How do they respond to feedback or criticism when audiences point things that they will inevitably get wrong?

Going back to the “race-less” point, I think that creators need to be careful that they’re (respectfully) portraying characters of colour as obvious persons of colour. With a very definite ‘no’ on stereotyping, of course, so that’s where the research comes in (which should comprise of more than a ten minute Google search). If your setting is in the real world, what is the background your character comes from and how might that influence the way they act or talk or see the world? If your setting is in a fantasy world, same question! Obviously, avoid depicting things which are closed/exclusive to that culture (such as religious beliefs, practices, etc) and again, avoid stereotyping (which I cannot stress enough), but think about how characters might live their lives and experience the world differently based on the culture or the background they come from.

As an example of a POC character written/played well by a white person, I personally like Jackson Wei and Cindy Wong from Dimension 20’s The Unsleeping City, an urban fantasy D&D campaign. Jackson and Cindy are NPCs played by the DM, Brennan Lee Mulligan, who did a good job acknowledging their ethnicity without resorting to stereotypes and while giving them their own unique characters and personalities. The first time he acted as Cindy, I leapt up from my chair because she was exactly like so many old Chinese aunties and grandmothers I’ve met. The way Jackson and Cindy speak and act and think is very Chinese (without being stereotyped), but at the same time, there’s more to their characters than being Chinese, they have unique and important roles in the story that have nothing to do with their ethnicity. So it’s obvious that they’re people of colour, that they’re Chinese, but at the same time, the DM isn’t overstepping and trying to tell stories that aren’t his to tell. All while not having the characters face any racism, as so many “post-racialized” settings aim for, because there are quite enough stories about that!

There a couple factors that contribute to the positive example I gave above. The DM is particularly conscientious about representation and doing his research (not to say that he never messes up, but he puts in a lot more effort than the average creator), and the show also works with a lot of sensitivity consultants. Which takes me to the next point - the best way to portray characters of colour in your story is to interact with people from that community. Make some new friends, reach out to people! Consume media by creators of colour! In my experience so far, the most authentic Chinese characters have almost universally been created/written/played by Chinese creators. Read books, listen to podcasts, watch shows created by people of colour. Apart from supporting marginalized creators, you also start to pick up how people from that culture or heritage see themselves and the world, what kind of stories they have to tell, and just as importantly, what kind of stories they want being told or shared. In other words, the best way to portray an authentic character of colour that is more than just the colour of their skin is to learn from actual people of colour (without, of course, treating them just as a resource and, of course, with proper credit and acknowledgement).

Most importantly, this isn’t easy, and you will absolutely make mistakes. I think the most important thing to keep in mind is that you will mess up. No matter how well researched you are, how much respect you have for other cultures, how earnestly you want to do this right, you will at some point do something that makes your POC audience uncomfortable or even offends them. Then, your responsibility comes with your response. Yes, you’ve done something wrong. How do you respond to the people who are hurt or disappointed? Do you ignore them, or double down on your words, or try to defend yourself? Just as importantly, what are you planning to do about it in the future? If you have a second chance, what are you going to do differently? You will make mistakes at some point. So what are you going to do about them? That, I think, is an even more important question than “How can I do this right?” You may or may not portray something accurately, but when you get something wrong, how are you going to respond?

Essentially, it all comes down to your responsibility as a creator. As a creator, you have a responsibility to do your due diligence in research, to remain respectful to your work and to your audience, and to be careful and conscientious about how you choose to create things. It’s not about getting things absolutely perfect or being the most socially conscious creator out there, it’s about recognizing your responsibilities as a creator with a platform, no matter how big or small, and taking responsibility for your work.

In summary:

Research, research, research

Avoid the obvious no-no’s (stereotypes, tokenization, fetishization, straight up stealing from other cultures, etc) and think critically about what creative choices you’re making and why

Do what you’re doing now, and reach out to people (who have put themselves out there as a resource). There are tons of resources out there by people of colour, reach out when you’re not sure about something or would like some advice!

Responsibility, responsibility, responsibility

Thank you for reaching out! Good luck with your work!

#the valley is posting #thanks anon!#writing advice #hope this helps! if another POC has something to add - please go ahead!

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love-takes-work · 5 years

Text

When someone toxic needs a friend

I just wanna add a little personal reflection to the discussion of Spinel’s treatment in Steven Universe: The Movie.

A few signposts so you know where I’m starting with this:

A criticism I’ve seen:

Steven was not particularly warm to Spinel. He did not hug her. He did not offer to be her friend. He spoke carelessly and triggered her toward becoming murderous again. He only cared about what she could do for him.

A perspective I’ve seen:

LOTS of people with borderline personality disorder or strong feelings about abandonment personally relate to Spinel and are critical of Steven from this perspective.

Rebecca Sugar’s commentary on Spinel:

The thing about Spinel is that she’s a really toxic person.

She’s so toxic that she’s literally trying to poison people.

In my interactions with friends who have had a history difficult enough to make it hard for them to trust other people and sometimes even actively want to hurt others, it’s just a very difficult situation to navigate. In the case of Spinel and all of these characters, that’s extremely exaggerated because cartoons have the ability to be extreme exaggerations. I wanted to explore what it’s like when you’re trying to help someone who really doesn’t want to help themselves, who wants to embody the negative feelings that they have about themselves. I think that’s something really real. I hadn’t seen that in a cartoon before.

Spinel, unlike many other characters, actually has the goal of hurting people, which is new territory for the show. She really wants to hurt Steven, and there’s a reason that she does—because she’s in so much pain. I just wanted to explore all the dimensions of that.

I also think Steven has his way of trying to handle and dissolve conflict. It’s not necessarily a good way for him to handle this situation. It really leaves him in a difficult state, and I think what I wanted to show in the way that they interact is that at a certain point, when you can’t help someone, you have to be able to protect yourself.

Ultimately, he can’t really convince her to change. It’s something she’ll have to want for herself. But what he can do is protect himself from her, making it impossible for her to hurt him.

It’s sort of up to you if you would like to love her. If you watch this movie and she, you know, frustrates you, that is totally fair. I want that to be a big part of who she is.

[From the AV Club interview]

So here are a few things I want to shed light on.

It’s very interesting that Rebecca intended Spinel to be read as “a toxic person” because so many fans fell in love with her, said they’d be her friend, hated intensely on Pink Diamond because of what she did to abandon the poor Gem, and sympathized with her directly. But Rebecca was looking at Spinel from Steven’s perspective. And that’s also what I did.

I’ve been Steven. I have VERY much been Steven.

When you meet someone who was done dirty, when you recognize the horror they’ve been through, when you see how much pain they are in and agree they have the right to be angry, it’s natural for empathetic people to offer themselves as comfort.

But when you’re Steven, you also know it isn’t YOUR fault either. Before you have the ability and experience to set boundaries, you can get sucked into other people’s stormy waters and think you’re helping if you drown in solidarity with them. What’s really important to preserving yourself is learning that you can stand on the boat and toss a life preserver. That it doesn’t ACTUALLY HELP to jump in the water and sink with them.

Some folks are angry that Steven didn’t jump right into sacrifice himself on the altar of friendship in the service of an intense, literally murderous stranger who tried to poison him and his planet and lash out at his friends, robbing them of their rich pasts and their relationships because all of it hurt HER so much. It is SO easy to understand WHY SPINEL WAS ANGRY. But nothing she was doing to Steven, his friends, or the Earth was going to fix her problems, and furthermore, she FULLY UNDERSTOOD that it was NOT THE FAULT of any of the people she took her anger out on. It was irrational, yes, and that is part of her dysfunction. But also, in these situations, what helps explain it still does not excuse it.

Some have railed at Steven saying he somehow forgave genocidal tyrants like the Diamonds but couldn’t be friends with a damaged Gem like Spinel who just wanted friendship. The big difference there is that Steven got involved with the Diamonds when both parties believed he was a different person. The Diamonds believed he was the lost Pink Diamond, and Steven has also spent much of his superhero life believing he WAS his mother and was therefore obligated to accept punishment for her crimes or to clean up the messes she made. Now that he knows he is not her and that she did some pretty horrible stuff, he also wants the right to stop feeling responsible for every person Pink hurt in the entire region of space.

Steven gave Spinel basically compassionate treatment. He did not abuse her. He did not insult her. He occasionally coddled her when it seemed important (and though some said he was too businesslike while he pursued his mission, he was literally looking at the world ending within two days if he didn’t solve the problem). And most importantly . . . .

He let her leave the garden.

Spinel stayed in the garden all those millennia because Pink Diamond told her they were playing a game. All that time, she had visions of Pink returning so she could see her smile, hear her laughter. We see a sequence where she tried to follow Pink out of the garden and Pink manipulated her into staying willingly. We watch those feet leaving and one pair of feet staying behind. We see Pink disappear.

When Steven goes to leave the garden, Spinel follows in the same manner. Some have criticized him for letting go of her hands.

But he invited her out of the garden. He didn’t say stay. He said come with me.

As he sang about her deserving someone better, he was sincere. But he did not say the person to make her feel found should be him. He did not want to take on another person with thousands of years of baggage who would require a specific brand of attention and so much tenderness to avoid snapping. He did not allow her to be held by the hand and led out. He recognized that she needed encouragement to leave this place because of what was done to her, but he wanted her to take the steps.

Compassionate people are crushed all the time under the weight of needy people who make it hurt to love. People like Steven can acknowledge that Spinel deserves love and deserves to be happy without accepting that it’s heartless to stop short of personally doing it. Especially when you literally have to take physical, mental, and emotional damage as a general consequence of offering support and counseling. It is sometimes just beyond what you can do.

I made the mistake several times of getting very close to someone who treated me poorly while taking comfort in my presence. I cared that they were hurt and I didn’t know how to say “You deserve love” without stepping in and loving them. In EVERY case I was involved with, the person went from initially grateful to “why don’t you help me more?” shockingly quickly, and two of them deliberately tried to create situations where I would be trapped with them and isolated from others.

I could get very personal here but I don’t think I need to. Those of us who relate all too well to Steven wanting to help others will have been in this situation. Your heart hurts for people who live with pain that has never touched you, but when they’ve made it clear with one of their first actions that they feel satisfied at the idea of ruining your life, trusting them could mean the end of you. Especially if they demand that you risk life and limb to fix and save them before you’d dare to call it love, and especially if they want to be fixed without feeling responsible for initiating any of it. Some people mistake suffering for working hard toward a goal. Both can hurt but only one is constructive. If I’m expected to spend extensive resources on someone, I need some partnership in the goal, and I can’t accomplish that with someone whose wish for companionship manifests as “I want you to feel as bad as I do, and will take steps to hurt you so I have someone to cry with.”

Steven risked his actual life while he didn’t have powers so he could go talk to Spinel, and he wouldn’t fight her when she wanted to fight. He protected himself while she spent her anger. He STILL put himself in the line of fire far more than a less compassionate person would. He took time and tenderness to listen to her story and sympathize with her, tell her she deserved better, bear witness to what she’d become after being treated like a discarded plaything, and bring her hope with promises of a new future and a way to feel found.

Sadly, Spinel flipped back to being murderous at the first sign that Steven might be about to prioritize someone other than her, reframing his reasonable needs as if he was planning to abandon her, isolate her, discard her. This was a trauma reaction, yes, and she isn’t entirely to blame for being upset because she was worried she was just being used and none of her actions were logically thought through.

But does someone ever “deserve” the friendship of a specific person who can’t feel warm toward them because of their OWN bad experiences?

No!

Steven has a big heart but he has his very own huge storehouse of trauma, and being physically attacked with his family and planet put in danger over the actions of his mother is at the top of the list. Instead of assuming that the person who has trauma the loudest is the most hurt, can’t we just acknowledge that Spinel’s and Steven’s respective traumas make them NOT the best match for friendship?

The ending of the movie, with Spinel going off with the Diamonds, might seem a little disturbing with all the codepencency floating around there, but if you want to talk about compassion, I think this is a good place for Spinel to start.

She just wanted to make Pink Diamond laugh and enjoy her life. She longed to do that for so long and then it all ended when she found out she would NEVER GET TO DO IT. I think bonding with the other Diamonds and having a familiar, safe place to experience the kind of love she’s used to will be a good FOUNDATION for building herself into a person beyond that. For now, she needs comfort. I hope they treat her well.

#steven universe #steven universe the movie #gif #long post #spinel #su analysis #my su analysis #myblog

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pepsicup · 3 years

Text

Problems Of A Spaceman

Chris Beck x Stripper!Reader 6.4k words

Summary: Chris attempts to gain some confidence back after his fiancée leaves him, though, the journey is different than he thought it would be... (smut, mentions of cheating, self-deprecation, exotic dancing, space kink because duh, dope fucking music choice if I do say so myself)

Author note: yes I did write this four years ago, this is an updated version since I recently found it after deleting my other blog, enjoy.

2037

It shouldn’t even be a thing. Chris didn’t get nervous, this was something new for him. After thirteen years of education, five standard spacewalks and a back-to-back trip to the newly colonized neighbouring red planet, nothing should phase him anymore – but that was space. There were things significantly more nerve-wracking than his current situation; perhaps he was better at being an astronaut than fulfilling his social and romantic life.

While taking all the prerequisites required for NASA and in medical school, he didn’t have time for fraternizing with anyone, most people in the medical field experience that. It was a miracle that he could even keep the attention of his ex-fiancée during the mission to Mars since he didn’t exactly know how to flirt. No matter how intelligent he was, all of that did nothing to help him in his personal life and everything that came with it.

Furthermore, the sexual aspect was a problem for him, too.

He’s never had an opportunity to explore himself with another person, of course, he’s had plenty of sex but, it was nothing more than the standard modus operandi. Beth was hard to navigate, she was disengaged and blatantly selfish, eventually blaming him for her unfaithful tendencies and lack of interest when he was the only one making an effort. It ended as it began, a complete circumstantial shitshow and because of that, he is on a mission to gain self-confidence back.

Since she kicked him out, he’s been sleeping in the spare room of his good friends’ house for the last couple of months while his new apartment is being renovated. Mark Watney was a single man who knew what that position felt like, and who also knew the beginnings of a solution. The ability to pay women for their undivided attention did wonders for a man’s ego, especially at an exclusive gentlemen’s club rather than a regular strip joint. It is more of a candid transaction that was valued at both ends.

And it is very exclusive. It required a reservation to save a slot since it was so well-known and a general, but hefty, fee at the door as insurance.

He made it sound like the easiest thing in the world, but on the other hand, Chris was so fucking anxious to go that he could vividly feel his blood pumping in overdrive. He’s never, ever attended a place like that before. But as he looked up at the classy, luminescent sign of the building that lit up the dark parking lot, he started to wonder what exactly he’s getting himself into. Just as long as he isn’t awkward, maybe everything will be okay.

Don’t be weird, don’t fuck it up. Simple.

He repeated those words in his head as he was looked over by the heavy before being let in and did everything the lady at the front desk told him to. After that, it was time to be escorted through the big fancy door.

The initial shock passed through him quickly, the smell of perfume, cigars and liquor weren’t as bad as he thought it was going to be. But once he rounded the corner into the main lounge the nerves were back. The wild colours in the dusky lighting gave the atmosphere an alluring feel as he bared witness to scarcely clothed women dancing on stage, at tables with other men and walking around the floor.

He adjusted his ball cap to sit lower on his face and scanned the room for a free seat, suddenly feeling a little overwhelmed and needing to sit down before he either collapsed or backed out entirely. Chris Beck was not good at this.

Could he perform surgery after surgery for 16 hours straight? Yes.

Can he proudly say that he is an award-winning astronaut that helped shape the future of space science? Fuck yeah, he can.

Can he say that he can bed anyone he wants and walk around like he owns the place? No, no he cannot.

The spaceman sat in a vacant booth near the left side of the stage, tucked away in a dark corner to observe as he planned. Yeah, he was good at observing. Watney reassured him before he left, stating that he did specialize in human anatomy and he should do what he does best...observe, evaluate and execute, which helped a bit. A doctor’s point of view was his only saving grace right now, he’d stick to that comfortable method for as long as he can.

Observe.

He found himself zoning in on different interactions that played out as time ticked by. Many lovely women took their turn on stage, very healthy and some men had been taken behind curtains and even thrown out for inappropriate behaviour. He made of a note of that in the back of his mind if there ever came a time. No touching.

He didn’t know how much time had passed since he arrived. There were a few nice girls who came over to talk to him, but he declined any offers they threw his way respectfully and chose to remain where he was instead. Although, just when he thought about turning in for the night, the lights suddenly dimmed until it was almost pitch-black. So dark that he couldn’t even see his hand.

The emcee bordered more background music that rattled his chest through the speakers above the circle booth, it increased slowly and he assumed it was building up to another track. The crowd of regulars and new attendees alike cheered loudly at the change of pace, Chris perked up and clapped along with them even though he had no clue as to what.

“Ladies, gentlemen and every-damn-one in between, we have a special treat for you tonight.” the man announced heartily.

He continued as the music came to a peak, then dissipated as he spoke the moniker of the next dancer, “Your house favourite has decided to give you a dance that I think is out of this world...please welcome to the stage, Ares”

The patrons went wild as Chris, on the other hand, went rigid – almost choking on his drink.

As the projected images of deep space filled the room in a flash, a dancer was now on stage walking around in something simple, yet sexy. No one could get enough of her or the choreography, staying for her performances that always seemed to have a different aesthetical essence every time she made an appearance.

The modest man couldn’t stop looking at her, she was the main focus of the room – but for him, the significance was completely different from the others. What were the chances that one of his biggest passions in life could be used as an exotic dance theme, materialized right in front of his eyes?

But when the music started...that’s when things even more interesting.

The song wasn’t one he anticipated, he assumed it would be the same club music that made his eardrums shudder, but this slow beat only made his senses buzz, and not just from the vibrations. He enjoyed the older music his commander played after years of listening to it. So, when he detected the beginning of this underrated 1972 classic by Harry Nilsson, this stripper had his full attention.

Bang, bang, shoot em’ up, destiny Bang, bang, shoot em’ up to the moon Bang, bang, shoot em’ up one, two, three (One, two, three, four)

The woman circled the pole as the song started to wind up, making little gestures to the regulars and letting the music guide her. She hit every deep strum of the guitar by waving her hips from side to side delicately, still holding on to the shiny metal planted at her side.

As the artist started to sing the corresponding words, she spun around the pole. The lights caught the small crystals on her one-piece and somehow, scattered like the night sky on her bare skin. Her hips moved sinfully as her body followed the fluid movements like Saturn’s rings, circulating with the natural orbit of the planet. Or pole in this case.

I wanted to be a spaceman That’s what I wanted to be But now that I am a spaceman Nobody cares about me

Next, with every distinct beat, she put her back to the pole, slid down and arose in one fell swoop. She twirled once, flipping her hair behind her head and rolling her lower body ‘round and around and around and around as the words called out above the hollering. The attention was now drawn to her lower body.

Highlighting her assets as dancers called it.

Hey Mother Earth, won’t ‘cha bring me back down Safely to the sea But ‘round and around and around and around Is all she ever say to me

She melted down on all fours to crawl across the platform, doing the next progressions effortlessly. She laid on her back, arching her body like a tidal wave entranced by the moon, rolling onto her stomach, and using her knees to sweep her torso across the floor until she was up in a kneeling position again.

The way she created a giant slip from her ass to her shoulders gave the perfect view of her behind to the men and women on the left side of the stage, money cascading across her body. It was quick yet elegant.

I wanted to make a good run I wanted to go to the moon I knew that it had to be fun I told ‘em to send me real soon I wanted to be a spaceman That’s what I wanted to be But now that I am a spaceman Nobody cares about me

She repeated similar moves to the first chorus but on her knees this time, feeling up her own body, wiggling her assets playfully at whoever she wanted – connecting with the audience. Chris was captivated by the way she carried her body like that, the slightly distorted music gave a sexy edge to her routine that caused his cock to throb in his jeans.

In his big doctor brain, he was trying to figure out how someone could be so graceful. Even if he felt ashamed of viewing her so strenuously, he justified it by observing her anatomy like the surgeon he was.

She didn’t wear high heels, opting to be barefoot, and the only extravagant makeup she wore was something that made her body sparkle. Her simple lingerie wasn’t something that stole the show, she just came as herself. The differences help him tell a lot about who she was, the little details sending signals to his genius mind.

Hey Mother Earth, won’t 'cha bring me back down Safely to the sea Around and around and around and around Is just a lot of lunacy (yeah, yeah)

The break in the lyrics gave a sense of anticipation, the echo prepared everyone for the next verse as the song swerved in and out of a muffled tone. Then, she was watching him.

Chris abruptly looked away as the mood changed, his breath hitching as he erratically glanced around before settling on her again. She appeared to be showing off for him now with a smile on her lips. He swallowed thickly as his mouth began to water and dry out at the same time, exchanging aggressive eye contact with the woman that had his undivided attention.

The music got lost in the background noise as they disappeared into their own world, his heart pulsed in his ear and his breath shallowed as everything around them was lost. It was like the earth had stopped spinning, the gravity giving out so the spaceman could feel weightless. There were faint pictures of the cosmos floating across his flushed skin, revealing his lip clamped between his impressively white teeth.

'Round and around and around and around and around (So bring me back down) 'Round and around and around and around and around Safe on the ground

He wasn’t trying to be sensual, Chris chewed his bottom lip when he was either content, uneasy or nervous. And nervous he was. Those eyes said innocence but the rest of him screamed sex fiend who could pound her into another universe if provoked, it definitely piqued her interest.

She never had the pleasure of seeing a person in tune with her like that before, it was refreshing. He looked like he was genuinely enjoying the way her body made him react but on a more personal level, something difficult to accomplish from 15 feet away.

Hey Mother Earth, better bring me back down Safely to the sea But around and around and around and around Is all she ever say to me, yeah

She had to be the one to break the intense eyefuck that was taking place, on both ends, in the middle of her set. Chris sensed the music drift back in, the planet rotating once more and coming back to himself after his mind floated away into endless space amongst many stars filling the void. As the song came to a close, she followed the rest of her routine with similar moves, collecting herself after a mere moment.

Everything was simply...simple.

But there was still so much of the unknown that came with the woman she was, remaining understated in this line of work and feeding a lot of emotion into her life passion. He could feel it.

That is the exact reason why she was a house favourite.

You know, I wanted to be a spaceman That’s what I wanted to be But now that I am a spaceman Nobody cares about me Say hey, you Mother Earth, you better bring me back down I’ve taken just as much as I can But around and around and around and around Is the problem of a spaceman

Evaluate.

That spaceman had a problem alright.

She just took him on a fucking cosmic ride that will be burned into his mind for the foreseeable future. His pants were now painfully tight, pressing his cock close to his body so that every time he moved his tip would be stimulated by his silky briefs. He was being forced to evaluate his current predicament.

He thought about the next step as the projections faded from the room and her along with them, completely vanished by the time the lights dimmed down and back up again.

Chris originally wanted to stay for a while longer to watch some more, not pushing himself to do more than he was prepared for; progress takes time and it depends on the person. He evaluated the options in front of him, either pursue the course that led him to the woman who just blew his mind or, stick with what he had been doing for the past five months – fucking his hand while he rested alone in his bed.

Eventually, after he gave into the disconcerted feeling picking him apart, he went with the familiar option and kept his head down in disappointment at his lack of confidence, sliding out of the booth. He just wanted to go home at this point, maybe he would try again another day. He nearly reached the exit when a security guard abruptly stopped him from leaving, he thought he did something wrong at first but as it turns out, that was far from what was the case.

“No, you didn’t do anything—you’re being requested by a dancer” the large man chuckled.

Chris looked up at the man that towered over him, questioning the authenticity of the claim. He clapped him on the shoulder.

“If I were you, man...I would take the dance. She rarely takes requests but offering...one in a million”

The security guard walked him into the back where the exclusive rooms were and into one with a large circular seat, gentle lighting and parlour cabinet full of assorted items. It wasn’t a suffocating space, but he felt like he was running out of oxygen

“Enjoy the show, man” with that final word, he left Chris alone in the room.

Once the door clicked, he rushed to rub his sweaty palms on his dark jeans and took a shaky breath as he sat down, pulling on the neckband of his sweater. In the meantime, he worked on not being so high strung, the door being behind him didn’t help as he waited for her to come. While the anticipation slowly drove him nuts, he ran the three steps Watney reminded him of in his cloudy mind.

Observe, evaluate and...execute.

Execute.

He was startled at the hands sneaking around his shoulders and lightly down his chest, making him jump in a bit in the big velvet chair. He was too deep in his thoughts to hear the door open behind him or her walking in on his stiff back facing her. Chris heard her soft chuckle behind him and felt the warm air caress his sensitive neck.

“Easy loverboy” Ares cooed in a low voice.

If it wasn’t before, his heart was racing at lightspeed now. She had such a strong effect on him.

“...you’re very tense. Did you know that?” she whispered behind his ear.

He shivered at the feeling and slowly nodded, not trusting his stupid mouth to not say something awkward.

She chuckled again, “You have the prettiest blue eyes...even from a distance”

The woman walked around his seated boy, keeping her hands on him but moving them with her until she was faced with the mystery man from the darkest corner in the lounge. He wasn’t looking at her, but around her, and trying to find somewhere to rest his relentless gaze. It was all in vain though, she trailed her finger along his jaw and under his chin, forcing his eyes to hers.

“Hmm, there they are—better up close” she bit her lip softly.

He looks so timid, with his big beady eyes and those perfectly pouted lips working in the evilest ways. Chris blushed at the compliment, feeling better about himself already.

Watney might actually be right about this whole excursion after all.

“I—uh, thank you” he murmured.

Chris cursed himself for already stuttering like a dumbass.

In his defence, she was touching him ever-so-gently and how can he not trip up his words with her looking like a holy goddess. Ironic, given the circumstance. And now, he couldn’t look away.

Especially since her hands travelled upwards to pull his NASA ball cap off, then leaning forward while maintaining that close proximity as she unzipped his sweater, helping him pull it off.

“We don’t need those” Ares whispered, tossing the garments on the floor.

But there was always some teasing before the actual contact.

As she put distance between their bodies, he was resting almost slack in the chair – legs parted, arms limp at his side and in his lap as soft music began to play. The apple of throat bobbed in his tight throat as she began moving slowly in front of him, full of grace and precision. She was like a supernova, its effortlessly soft edges melting into the black of space as her skin did with her bodysuit. The fact that he was the only one seeing it made the experience that much sweeter, all those feelings coming back from earlier.

He was also able to recognize that she was wearing subtle glitter and rhinestones that temporarily fused to her skin, causing the shine and sparkle of her body on stage.

Once she gave him time to get comfortable, she spread his legs apart and hovered her back over his chest, grinding her ass into his lap. The shampoo and light perfume made his sex twitch as he inhaled it in, trying his best not to give in and touch. He kept his hands on the edges of the chair, his fingers digging into it painfully – he remembered what happened to the other guys, how they got thrown out. Chris just wants to watch, that’s good enough for him.

No touching.

Ares leaned forward slightly, arching her back and hitting his private areas in all the right places, gradually making him break out into a small sweat. The woman rubbed her ass on his lap expertly and before he knew it, she pressed herself against him to lay her head on his shoulder.

“I hope you know, the way you looked at me...you really know how to get a girl hot and bothered.”

Of course, he blushed again. His face was burning like the sun at this point.

“I...I was just enjoying it—you are very talented” Chris laughed nervously.

He turned his face slightly, absentmindedly following the heat of her skin until he was fanning her neck, so close...but never touching. He was so, sooo close, but felt so far.

She stood up without warning and slowly turned around, pushing him back into the back of the chair more and watching as he widened eyes dilated further at her forwardness. He’d clearly never had a lap dance so he probably didn’t know about what happened during one. She set her legs on either side of his thighs, effectively straddling him to get on with the real deal. She smoothed her arms around his neck and left them to hang lazily off the back of the chair, never breaking eye contact the entire time.

“That’s very sweet, I can feel how excited you are...”

As she began to move, their heads fell back simultaneously from the direct friction. Ares righted her head after a second and pressed into his personal space, their noses touching every time she moved up his lower body and back down again. She circled her hips a couple of times and breathed out a sigh, it was nice not giving lap dances to the clingy regulars and giving a man like this her talented movements and motions instead. It was different this time around, the atmosphere was weirdly intimate – he just gave off that energy.

“Very excited...” Ares added.

Chris shuttered as she rested her entire body weight on his clothed erection at the sentence, now realizing how difficult it was not to touch. Though she picked up on his hesitation and demeanour instantaneously. She stroked all over his arms, chest and stomach for the first time, feeling how cut the guy really was, there were endless muscles. Very practical.

He gave her a shy smile, “It’s been a long time since I’ve felt this way—to, uh...to have my body behave this way, I mean”

“Ah, I’m turning you on?...” she asked, leaning in.

Chris didn’t know what to say to that, he’s never been good in these situations and more often than not resorted to the only thing he knows everything about. He’s starting to lose his cool and what happens when he loses his cool?

Well, he is not very smooth.

“I, um...it’s the body sending signals the corresponding part of the brain...neurons fire commands and simulate the, uh...ohh,” a moan cut off his rambling.

He could feel himself getting closer to his release, something he didn’t want but also desperately wanted at the same time. He was already on edge when he was in the booth, his brain constantly stimulating his sex to the point where his boner couldn’t go away. The way it was being dragged across his pants made him groan even more.

She giggled, “Has anyone told you that you’re a dork when you’re nervous?”

Chris shook his head, closing his eyes to try and fight off his orgasm until the lap dance was over. He had to swallow most of the breaths that became more and more erratic with every sway of her hips.

The way his skin flushed a dark pink and his breathing picked up confirmed she was doing a good job, but the only thing that threw Ares off was the fact that he was shaking violently, a straining vein on his neck making an impression in his flesh. She was unknowingly pumping his shaft along with his jeans, practically coaxing his seed to just burst out of him.

Chris felt his balls go stiff, cock pulse and tighten right before he lost control. The thing that pushed him to his limit was his balls compressing between his legs when she quickly swivelled her hips. He gripped the arms of the chair and thrust his hips upward, letting out a long mewl and finally giving up on holding back as pleasure took over his ability to think properly. Ares stopped moving while he continued riding out his orgasm that felt too goddamn good, cum seeping out of his boxers and down his thigh.

Once he found a way to maneuver himself back to Earth, he went completely limp in the chair as if he just ran a triathlon when the reality of what just happened hit him. That just happened, he hasn’t cum in his pants since his first year of university, and didn’t have a clue of what to do about it.

Why didn’t he just stay home? He could have avoided this if he just isolated himself in his room like he usually did.

“Huh...that’s never happened to me before,” she said in a tone he couldn’t quite decipher.

He glanced away after opening his eyes, still in a daze, “I...um”

For a moment he thought he made her uncomfortable and was getting ready to apologize, possibly leave if she wanted him to. But instead, he tilted his head as the embarrassment on his face was replaced by confusion at her smirk and gentle eyes. She dragged her ass across him once, making him hiss at the sensitivity of his half-hard cock still dripping with arousal.

Usually, she didn’t allow excessive touching and avoided any kind of sexual encounters at work, it wasn’t her thing – but there was something about this one that told her he should be pleased. To be honest, he wasn’t some run-of-the-mill scumbag or pompous prick like the usual attendees are, she’s starting to see he’s a plain, genuine guy. That’s why it took him by surprise when she leaned down and pressed a long kiss on the crease of his throat, sucking on it periodically.

“...I thought there was no, mhmm, touching” Chris stammered.

Ares held on to the baby hairs at the back of his neck, then ran his soft hair through her fingers as she kissed her way across his face. Their lips brush together as she spoke.

“Shhhh, let me take care of you...and this” she moved on him again, a mischievous gleam in her eye.

Chris whimpered out a noise of surprise when she finally connected both their lips together, she sucked his bottom one between hers and nipped at it tenderly. She grabbed his hands, placing them on her to encourage him to feel her, to touch her body. He was hesitant with his movements, still diffident even when she slithered her tongue into his soft mouth, twirling and caressing his.

When they disconnected he panted heavily in the shared space, she hummed at his expression, desire. After she climbed off his lap and kneeled in front of him as her hands began to unbuckle his belt and tug at his zipper.

“Okay, this is happening? Right now?...oh” Chris breathed out.

Everything was happening so fast, he didn’t have time to think about the repercussions of his irresponsible, but tempting actions. His voice of reason was screaming its concern and he couldn’t help but listen to it as he sat there, immobilized while she worked his pants, then cum-soaked briefs down his legs.

“You really don’t have t—” he groaned throatily as she pumped his shaft.

It was always the dorky guys who have the nicest and fullest cocks she had ever seen without fail – he was no different in that department, a decent length, thickness and fit for her. Ares stroked him until he was fully solid again, admiring the way he turned his hips up at the feeling of her hand around him – at least, if they stopped now, he’d have a good visual to fuel his lewd imagination late at night.

She quirked a wholesome smile, “We need to clean you up before things get too heated”

Chris would have mentally retracted the concept of using her as ammunition for his masturbation thoughts, but he was too busy with his eyes rolling back at the most damning sight in the universe. She began to lick the cum from where it was on his body, on his cock, all over his thigh and what remained on her fingers; swallowing everything before working him over with her mouth.

“Jesus Christ...” he growled, reeling in an abrupt lust. He held the back of her head as she sucked him off, “it’ll be over very soon if you don’t get up here”

Even taken aback by his tone, she grinned and gestured at him stand up along with her, encouraging him to pull the bodysuit straps down. Chris kissed along her collarbone faintly, tugging the lingerie down to expose her breasts and gleaming heat to his eyes. He kissed her neck as best he could, not knowing if he was making her feel good in the least but still giving it his best shot.

“God, you are beautiful...”

Luckily, she moaned at his rumbling words on her skin, relaxing him a little bit.

This was crunch time, they need to do it now. Ares rushed to pull his white t-shirt off, appreciating his abs, pecs and biceps as she pushed him back down on the chair forcefully – he looked like a complete stud but had the sweetest personality ever. She giggled as he squirmed out of his pants and kicked off his shoes so he could be fully naked like her, climbing on him again as he did so.

Chris didn’t want anything binding him while this happened.

“Do you have a condom?” she mumbled against his lips, kissing him again.

He made an affirming noise, gesturing for her to pick up his pants where his wallet held one in a hidden pocket. He quickly fumbled the leather out and tossed it with his pants to the ground, barely getting the condom out before she snatched it and rolled it down the length of him. She propped herself on her knees, coating him in her growing wetness as she prepared to take him.

But, he hesitated and held her just above him.

“Are you...are you sure you want to do this—with me?” Chris asked, his eyes held a sadness that she never wanted to see from him again.

Of course, she wanted to...now more than ever.

To reassure him, she cupped his cheek with her free hand and pressed their foreheads together. The woman revelled in the way his mouth dropped open, eyes becoming hooded and a gasp hitching in the back of his throat as she sunk onto him. Looking deep into his eyes and watching the sadness dissipate into satisfaction. He grasped her waist with one arm as she began to ride him at a steady pace, his cock stretching her.

Chris groaned loudly, choking on his moans every so often when she caressed the right spot. The speed increased as he began to enthusiastically meet her thrusts, causing them to both murmur muffled whines and whimpers into each other’s mouths. One hardy smack of his thighs to her ass pierced their ears when he gave a particularly harsh snap of his body, pulling her down as he kept up with his hard thrusts into her.

“Fuck, do that again...” she shivered as he fucked her so carefully, making her needier every second.

He had his brows furrowed in concentration, focusing on pleasuring her and tried to forget the doubts he had to live in that moment. This was more than spontaneous sex for him, he was making love to someone – feeling good for once. He has never fucked someone before but, if anything, he was giving her the most carnal, admiration-fueled sex he could.

She bounced faster as he, in turn, bucked into her harder. She was clenching, he was throbbing...it was too much.

“God, that’s it, just like that,” he grunted, continuing to manually move her slowing hips.

“Shit, you’re gonna make me cum...” she groaned, “...please tell me you’re close”

Chris nodded fervently, keeping his eyes locked on her for as long as he could. In the final stretch, as her clenching became more prevalent, he kept one arm around her as he trailed his hand down to her clit. Just when started to rub, his fingers caught the nerves underneath and made her cry out.

“Does that feel good for you? Is it okay?” he asked politely.

Ares sobbed her ‘yes’ in a pitchy tone.

He hugged her tightly against him as everything started to unwind, leaving his pelvis to stimulate her clit. The woman clenched hard around him as she lost her vision, the way her cunt gripped made him speed up his thrusts to continue moving. Her low whine near his ear did him in, his lower body ghosted on a final thrust as he stopped completely – his heaving was muffled by the clenching of his teeth, letting himself tremble in her arms as he filled the condom with his cum.

After a while of sitting there, Chris broke the silence, “I...I think my time is up”

She laughed at his witty remark, not realizing how much that boosted his mood and tugged at his heart, or how she just single-handedly repaired his self-worth. There was no way to process it, all he knew was he felt amazing, he felt...content.

Ares stood on weak legs, climbing off him and allowing him to dispose of the condom. Chris had a dopey smile on his face as he pulled his pants back on and did the fastenings quickly, she was already back in her bodysuit by that time. He appeared to be lost in deep thought as she handed him his shirt, smirking at him – his skin flushed a soft rose when he finally noticed.

She scoffed.

“Do I really make you nervous—after that?” she retrieved his sweater and cap off the floor where they were forgotten.

Chris laughed quietly before shifting back to his serious face, smiling somewhat. She wondered why he was there in the first place when he could have women lining up; well, if he wasn’t so humble that is.

He cleared his throat, “uh...thank you for that by the way. You didn’t have to do what you did...I just” then began rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.

“I’m not good at this stuff, one-time things and strippers—or, I mean exotic dancers, I didn’t mean for that to sound like th—”

To save him from himself, she curled her fingers around his shirt collar and pulled him in, kissing him thoughtfully. Chris cupped the back of her head right away and held her waist as she encompassed the modest stranger with her warmth. He chased her mouth after she broke away from his pursed lips, brows furrowing at his want to keep kissing her.

“You talk a lot, it’s sweet” she giggled at his actions.

Following that encounter, he felt like a new man. She let him make love to her, or fuck her, whichever it was. He couldn’t get over that woman, she felt authentic in his arms, unlike Beth who felt out of place and made him realize his ex was never meant for him at all.

Chris was walking away, leftover clothes in hand and messy sex hair weathered by her hands, but before he could slip behind the curtain leading back to the lounge, she called out to him. When he turned to face her, she was in a robe and leaning laxly against the wall, just as dishevelled as he was.

“For the record, I’m not good at this—” she gestured between them, “—either”

He drove home with a smile on his face and satisfaction coursing through him.

Although, he couldn’t shake the nagging feeling of having a mere fling. Not even knowing anything about her while doing something so intimate, something personal to him. He wished he would have asked her real name or her number, so he could thank her properly or even, possibly ask her out.

He had a feeling about her, the attraction was undeniable now.

Perhaps it was a god working some sort of miracle or the planet’s alignment giving him mystical energy, maybe something as simple as luck. But, as he started to get ready for bed that night, a piece of paper fell out of his jeans as he stripped to have a shower.

Curiously, he picked it up and looked it over.

xxx-xxx-xxxx Just because I knew you wouldn’t ask for it. Call me sometime. – Y/N

Maybe he would take her out.

After all, he felt as if they had this connection, even if it was unconventional from any other relationship he had before. One thing he knew for sure was he liked the sound of her name on his tongue, repeating it in front of the mirror and practicing what to say to her...thinking about her until he fell fast asleep.

The spaceman used to have problems, but now?

He has none.

#the martian #sebastian stan #chris beck #chris beck smut #chris beck x reader #chris beck x reader smut #sac writes #space daddy

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bigskydreaming · 3 years

Note

You think when Jason first went to Bruce’s him and Dick had an interaction that went like this,

Jason: you don’t know what it like

Dick: Bitch I’m sorry which one of us went to juvie

LOL I get the joke and all but see, I do wanna be clear:

(And this is just in general rather than aimed specifically at you or this ask, anon).

I spend a lot of time talking about being anti-Trauma Olympics and that extends both ways. I don't want Dick perceived as more traumatized or having had it harder than anyone else in his family, just that his own traumas and hardships aren't erased or invalidated in favor of propping up someone else. At most, I'll talk about something like the Forever Evil situation and how he was 'more' the victim there than they were, but that's because that's a specific situational thing where both he and other characters' feelings and hurt in regards to the exact same set of circumstances are being compared, and I'm like, well if you're GONNA do that, you kinda gotta look at who was most directly impacted by events versus had feelings about what HAPPENED to the first person in the first place, just....conveniently leapfrogging over that dude's actual feelings about those exact same things.

But ultimately, although I'll spite-LOL about this sorta joke in response to other fans Doing the Most in the other direction, like.....tbh, I wouldn't be any more in favor of this kinda interaction in fics or canon.

What I WOULD love to see is rather than the kids being pitted against each other in a kinda pseudo competition, see them use traumas and parallel situations as a basis for common ground and building stronger bonds. Like, how much more powerful would it be if what we got instead was Jason finding out about Dick's past experiences with juvie in order to make Dick someone he feels DOES get certain things. I mean, Dick never DID experience various things that Jason did living on the street or earlier living with Catherine and Willis....but like I've always posited that in the early years Dick had a primal fear of fucking up and being sent back to juvie by Bruce, Dick absolutely would be able to understand the fears of a kid who was caught committing an actual crime by Bruce in their first encounter and feared what might happen if Bruce ever decided he wasn't worth giving the benefit of the doubt and ultimately would never be more than a criminal.

Part of what bums me so much about the direction most fics and headcanons take towards Dick and Jason's earlier interactions, is there's a huge chasm in experience, perspective and privilege between Bruce and BOTH his two eldest. That chasm is not nearly as vast between Dick and Jason themselves. Where they diverge in prior experiences tends to have a lot to do with specific situations and circumstances rather than axis of privilege. (Especially when you consider - and god I'm tired of this - how often people default to being like 'well Dick at least had loving parents' when ahem, HOW OFTEN has Jason made clear that he has very affectionate memories of Catherine because she was at times a very loving and attentive mother, and that's WHY her addiction and death hit him so hard, not unlike how the murder of Dick's parents hit him so hard BECAUSE they were loving and nurturing? Like, how often do people throw characters' own stories and canon away JUST to make the case that they have it harder than another one? Can we stop this? Forever preferably?)

But point is, there are tons of areas where Bruce just fundamentally didn't relate to Dick and never was going to be able to, because Bruce was never in a position of being at the mercy of various institutions. Bruce never had to worry about being thrown out by his guardian, Alfred, who technically worked for his family even as he raised Bruce. He never had to deal with peers looking down on him because of who he WAS rather than giving him shit for specific circumstances or events. He never had to worry about his parents or past being demeaned as worthless, he never had to balance trying to retain a sense of self without being subsumed into Bruce AND the Waynes' larger than life shadows, history, and perception in the eyes of the public.

However all of these and more are areas where Dick and Jason absolutely overlap and this could be greatly of benefit to each other, if it was ALLOWED to be. For Dick, Jason's arrival can be an opportunity for him to finally have someone who gets various aspects of growing up with Bruce that will just fly over other peoples' heads as being a problem or them having issues with at all. For Jason, Dick can be an opportunity for him to have an easier time understanding Bruce when these gaps in perception and experience appear, or making himself understood by Bruce, by drawing upon and learning from Dick's own experience trying to navigate those very same gaps between Bruce and himself in years prior.

And even where Dick and Jason's experiences diverge, there's still plenty they could learn from each other that they STILL couldn't have in common with Bruce. Like yeah, Jason - even with a loving relationship with Catherine factored in - didn't ever have the benefit of Dick's history being part of a huge communal family in the circus, and around people who were open and generous with their affection and all that.....and frankly, Bruce never had this either, even factoring in his own relationship with HIS parents. But its something that Dick could definitely impart wisdom in, that would be helpful to Jason in learning to be part of a larger community of superheroes overall, and how to interact with a bigger family that wasn't limited just to himself and his guardian or guardians....as well as helpful after their family grew to include more siblings.

And Jason did have a ton of experiences and perspective born of living on the streets and being entirely self-sufficient from a young age, with wisdom he could share with Dick there, who was MORE likely to get the benefits of that than Bruce even, because Dick did have experience with a closer mindset to what Jason had had at the time, and even if Dick's own experiences running from juvie or in Robin Year One were far more finite than Jason's ever were, there's enough of a foundation there for them to build a common awareness of major events in each other's past and like....thus be able to talk about them, unpack them with each other and not have to worry about being judged by someone who just fundamentally might not get it or understand where they were coming from when they made certain choices based on those mindsets.

And then back again, part of why it bugs to so often hear Dick's years growing up in the mansion talked about as wholly a good thing when there's no separating them from the years he spent as Robin, is because Dick has knowledge and awareness of the streets and crime that's predicated entirely on his years as Robin, that's still broader than Jason's in the sense that Jason's knowledge is limited just to his personal, more contained experiences, whereas Dick as Robin interacted with all sorts of crime and criminals and victims. And who better than Dick to learn from in regards to what its like to even BE a teen vigilante, because for all Bruce's experience as Batman, he debuted as an adult, he'll never be able to relate specifically to the fears and finer points of taking on people who are older, bigger, more experienced than you, when you're that young and small. But again, all of that requires like, ACKNOWLEDGING that Dick went through some SHIT when he was younger, and that doesn't have to TAKE AWAY anything from Jason's own hardships, but it has all the capacity in the world to ADD things to Jason's toolbox for dealing with his hardships.

But yeah, ultimately, like....it annoys me to see Dick's own experiences so often glossed over or romanticized in order to act like he's so oblivious to what someone like Jason's life was like, but more than that, it just bums me because its a waste of so much potential material and just.....erases the opportunity for so many stories that could explore actual new, uncharted territory rather than just retread the same old beats about how oh Dick is just oblivious to what REAL hardship is like but Jason gets it, see.

That's gonna get a yawn from me, lads.

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ukaiknowsbest · 3 years

Text

breaking down Ace of Diamond - the "Hero's Journey."

Using the model/guide presented by Overly Sarcastic Productions in their youtube video Trope Talk: The Hero's Journey, I will attempt to discuss how Sawamura Eijun's story in DnA is his Hero's Journey to becoming an ace pitcher in the Japanese HIgh School Baseball environment.

Blue from OSP put forward the 12 basic parts of the Hero's Journey Cycle. The illustration below will be our reference. I simplified a graph made by Signy Wilson in order to match OSP's less rigid guide.

disclaimer: I am by no means any kind of expert. I was just fascinated when I learned about the Hero's Journey as a general trope/framework when it came to writing stories. I want to apply what I learned by breaking down the story created by Terajima Yuuji in Ace of Diamond.

A. ORDINARY WORLD

STAGE 1. THE HERO IN HIS NATURAL ENVIRONMENT

Hero: Sawamura Eijun. Captain and Ace Pitcher of middle school baseball team. He has no formal training in baseball whatsoever but was the one who gathered and convinced his friends to start a baseball club. He's the best player in their small team. Good at sports but bad at academics .

He is generally a baseball idiot and quite a naive/simple guy with a strong heart. He does not have any idea what competitive and pro baseball looks like because not only does he not have experience but also he does not watch the broadcasts on tv/radio at all.

Ordinary World of the Hero: rural town in Nagano Prefecture, where Sawamura formed a small baseball team with his childhood friends. Acording to him, as long as they all stay together they can always play baseball anywhere.

STAGE 2. THE CALL TO ADVENTURE

2.1 Problem/why hero's ordinary world is going to crumble: - He lessened his chances of being scouted/accepted in a good baseball school after he btchslapped an entire opponent team and the umpires in their first and only match as middle school team in Saitama Stadium.

He also has low chance of being accepted into the high school in their area (where his friends are all going to) because he struggles with his academics a lot.

Unless he does something he won't be able to be together with his friends and/or play baseball at all.

2.2 Caller of the adventure - Takashima Rei pursues Sawamura into Nagano Prefecture in order to scout him as a sports scholar for Seido High School, a baseball powerhouse school located in the West Division of Tokyo Prefecture.

2.3 medicine/ solution to hero's crumbling world: being a sports scholar for Seido. This would solve almost all of Sawamura's highschool enrollment problem and also give him the chance to play as much baseball as he wants.

STAGE 3. REFUSAL TO THE CALL

3.1 reluctance to go: Sawamura refuses to leave Nagano despite Rei's "sales pitch" to him and his family. He doesn't want to leave his friends just to play baseball in a stronger school far away because he had promised his friends that they would always stick together.

3.2 hero punished for this - his grandpa literally smacks/slaps him in being stupid and doubting his friends.!!! / technically circumstances are already punishing him for being a hotblooded baseball idiot in the first place.

3.3 do you think you have a choice - this is probably the only chance he'll get to play baseball with all his strength AND finish highschool.

B. EXTRAORDINARY / UNKNOWN WORLD

Venturing out into more competitive/pro baseball is a world beyond him. It's scary and unknown and he'd rather defeat bigger teams than leave his friends.

STAGE 4. CROSSING THE THRESHOLD

4.1 crossing physical threshold - Rei persuades him to at least check the school out with his own eyes. They leave Tokyo together for one visit.

4.2. crossing a metaphorical threshold - in that visit, sawamura, picks a fight with a senior who's bound for baseball drafts, works together with a nationally acclaimed catcher in defeating the senior player, thus changing his worldview because he had so much fun.

4.2. conscious and irreversible decision - Because of the experience he goes home conflicted. His family encourages him in their own way to follow his guts and heart and go to Tokyo.

STAGE 5. REALM OF ADVENTURE

5.1 hero learns to navigate the unknown world - Sawamura learns the harsh realities of being in a baseball school once he actually starts to live there. Our boy also gets educated in Baseball and Pitching 101. He also finds out the true personality of the catcher he played with before.

5.2 meeting allies/rivals/mentors - he learns about the team better when he meets a whole bunch of people: batchmates, coaches and senpais. He builds interesting dynamics with all of them.

5.3 trials and initial failures - Sawamura undergoes difficult initial training and is barely allowed to play in matches.

5.4 meeting enemies - Sawamura being allowed to play as relief pitcher in the games and face talented pitchers and scary batters mostly in tense situations.

5.5 growth, new skills - Sawamura grows with each match, thus bolstering his confidence. Sometimes he falters but he learns from his mistakes.

5.6 first major success - striking out scary batters with each new thing he learns.

5.7 major challenge that leads to downfall - seido vs inashiro finals match where he goes in full of confidence and courage but then he and his team gets defeated in a devastating way.

STAGE 6. BELLY OF THE WHALE

6.1 lowest point of hero where hero physically or metaphorically goes down - one month after their major defeat, a lot of intense practice matches and change in team dynamics, the team find out that Sawamura has the YIPS. This condition took away Sawamura's ability to pitch in his trademark style/ the only thing he was good at.

6.2 hero's darkest hour - without the ability to pitch, Sawamura questions his reality and why he is still on the team.

6.3 Face and overcome inner demons - with a lot of help from allies and mentors, Sawamura finds a way to bring back a bit of his ability.

STAGE 7. ROAD OF TRIALS

7.1 Discarding old self - In the duration of his downfall and eventual healing, Sawamura turns to books, meditation and becomes even more careful in maintaining his form and body.

7.2 Accepting the new role - instead of fixating on the ace position like before, Sawamura is just glad that he is still allowed to pitch as relief.

7.3 Finding path out of the belly of the whale/The road back - After figuring out a solution to fix his pitching, he focuses on it and regains some of his ability. Sawamura is then allowed to play in matches. Just like before, he improves little by little as he recovers from each failure. He gains fresher mindset and new weapons, thus becoming an even stronger pitcher than he ever was before.

7.4 more trials - they face new opponent schools and old but improved opponents which test the best of Sawamura and the team's ability

STAGE 8. PRE SHOWDOWN BREATHER

every major match in ace of diamond has this part of the story but usually the most critical breather episode is the one before the final match.

8.1 show humanity of other characters - Somethng bad happens to the other mc without Sawamura knowing. This could absolutely wreck their chances of winning the final match. This shows that the other guys are not 100% invincible after all.

8.2 last chance to relax. - calm before the storm. It is also the time where they finalize sawamura's weapons.

8.3 quiet moment to reminisce - usually happens before each match. However the night before the finals was the major one because their old senpais went to visit their practice and encourage them.

STAGE 9. CLIMAX / STEPPING UP TO THE CHALLENGE

9.1 Final Showdown - Sawamura helps in the team defense with the best of his ability and weapons and he succeeds. Their team eventually wins Fall Tournament even with a few setbacks.

9.2 Apotheosis - Sawamura's worldview changed once he realises that even with his improvement and skill, his goal of being the ace is still out of reach for him.

9.3 Ultimate Boon - Sawamura gets to be a pivotal member of their baseball team and can play baseball as much as he wants with his team.

STAGE 7. ROAD OF TRIALS start again after the Fall Tournament Act 1 because Sawamura faces new challenges in Ace of Diamond Act 2.

Meiji Jingu Tournament - Play in matches without Miyuki

WInter camp and break - Intense Physical Training and development and improvement of his weapons which he will use and improve on throughout the rest of Act 2.

Spring Koshien where he realises that he has to do more in order to surpass the current ace which was Furuya.

Start of New Term/ Practice Matches - Sawamura and co. meets their new kouhai and team dynamics shift once again.

Spring Tournament / Summer Tournament - Sawamura meets old foes and new enemies. He also becomes the Ace Pitcher of the team, which adds more pressure on his part.

ACT 2 STAGE 8. PRE SHOWDOWN BREATHER

This is the big and long one before Summer Tournament Finals match where injuries and problems were discussed and feelings were explored.

ACT 2 STAGE 9. CLIMAX

Final (Or most hyped and awaited rematch) Seido vs Inashiro in order to qualify for Summer Koshien Nationals.

**everything after this point will be prediction and just my opinion

STAGES 7-9 start again

Koshien Nationals Arc.

STAGE 10. CROSSING THE RETURN THRESHOLD

Miyuki/3rd years retirement/graduation. Sawamura and his batch will have to lead the team.

STAGE 11. THE REWARD

Sawamura gets to play with his team as ace pitcher.

STAGE 12 / STAGE 1. THE HERO IN HIS NATURAL ENVIRONMENT

Sawamura may become both ace and captain, same as his role back in his middle school team, albeit in a stronger school. Even if he won't be the next captain, as ace he will still be in a strong leadership position.

CONCLUSION

That's how Ace of Diamond is written in the style of A HERO'S JOURNEY.

Act 1 writing especially followed the trope quite rigidly.

Notes:

I still don't want Sawamura to be the next captain. I hope that does not happen. However if it does, it means the story will have gone back full circle. That would be quite poetic ngl.

Gotta applaud Terajima's pacing. Can you believe that the story only reached its lowest and most pivotal point at around episode 70 of the anime???? thank godt that after ep 63 I read spoilers about yips arc in tv tropes or else i would have dropped the series completely.

I had difficulty in classifying the events after the climax stage into hero's journey stages because technically sawamura has not gone "home" yet. Moreover the challenges and trials just kept on piling up after Fall Tournament.

In this whole story, Sawamura has experienced only one true "Belly of the Whale stage" during his YIPS arc. I don't think he really came to a low point in Act 2 other than his first official match as Ace Pitcher. I treated that in the same vein as the effects of Raichi's first homerun off Sawamura back in Act 1.

I realized that having stages 7-9 recur starting from Meiji Jingu to the current summer tournament is what made reading Act 2 quite frustrating for me. That's at least 5-6 arcs of endless roller coaster ride loops.

I consider Miyuki's departure to be the "CROSSING THE RETURN THRESHOLD" moment because playing with him was the major reason for Sawamura's decision to study and play in Tokyo. Something will change Sawamura when this eventually happens.

As Blue from OSP said, the Hero's Journey is just a general guide/framework to writing stories. It is flexible, writers don't even have to use it or all of its parts to make a good story. Terajima just seemed to have adopted A LOT of the hero's journey trope in his baseball series.

I wanted to add more pictures tbh but tumblr is a killjoy :(

This was a fun thought exercise. There were probably even some parts which I have used the tropes wrongly. Please feel free to dispute me.

I talked about Sawamura's mentors here (x).

#sawamura eijun #sports anime #ace of diamond #daiya no a #daiya meta #daiya discuss #hero's journey #long post #daiya thoughts

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darisu-chan · 3 years

Text

burnin' up

Welcome to another IR Month!

Today, I bring you this one-shot which is the opposite of keeping cool. Just what we need for this summer day.

Hope you guys enjoy it!

You can also read it here.

Prompt: keep your cool

Summary:When it is hot out, the best solution is to go to the beach and swim to keep cool…right?

It is terribly hot this summer.

Not that other summers haven’t been as hot, or even hotter than this. But for some reason, Ichigo feels the heat way more this year. He can’t quite put his finger on it. He just knows it is too hot and nothing he has tried so far has been able to cool him down. And, look, he was born in summer. He is used to the flames, the scorching heat, the shinning sun on his back. He does prefer sunny days to the rain, it’s true. And yet, this year the heat has been excruciating. Ice cream, ice cubes, fans. Nothing has seemed to work. At this point, he’s not sure there is anything out there that will make the heat go away.

If he’s this bothered, just imagine Rukia.

She is miserable.

Honestly, Ichigo wouldn’t have expected it to be any different. She was born in the middle of winter, and her zanpakutō is a snow one, a literal Snow White. Of course Rukia has never done great in the summer. But especially not this one. Summers in Karakura can be a pain in the ass, but Ichigo reiterates this summer in particular has been the worst so far. So, Rukia’s been a mess. Red hot cheeks, sweat running down her neck, short skirts, lethargy. It is obvious how uncomfortable she is. And, well, Ichigo feels for her. He doesn’t do the greatest in winter, so he can sympathize with her current state. He wants to do something for her. She had taken a few weeks off to visit him after all, and Ichigo can’t help but blame himself for her current state. If she had stayed in the Soul Society, maybe she wouldn’t feel like this. But no. He can’t afford to think in this way. So, instead, he looks for solutions until he finds one.

The beach.

It is so obvious he wants to slap himself.

Of course they should go to the beach!

It would still be hot, sure, however the ocean water and the breeze are always cool. Thank you, Pacific Ocean for your cold water! Besides, it is the only place where wearing little clothing is socially acceptable. Not to mention the cold drinks, ice popsicles, and other such delicacies that are sold on the beach. And the fact that going on a trip is always a welcome change in the routine. Ichigo’s not sure Rukia has gone many times to the beach, least of all to enjoy herself without worrying about the fate of the world.

So, it is decided that they will go.

“The beach?” Rukia mutters out loud once he tells her the news.

“Yep. The beach.” He simply answers and he can’t help the grin that forms on his mouth.

“What spurred this decision?” She questions him, clearly confused.

“Oh, I know what spurred this decision!” Old goat chin interjects from behind him, but Ichigo ignores him.

“I think it’d be better to enjoy the beach than being stuck here in this heat.”

Rukia stops and thinks for a moment, remembering the terrible heat she’s felt with no respite. She immediately nods her head.

“Agreed.”

That Monday, they decide, will be the day they go to the beach. They believe it will be less crowded than on a weekend, but given it is summer after all, it is a give or take. So for three days they prepare for the event, getting everything they will need: towels, a picnic basket, water bottles, swimsuits, backpacks, flip flops, sunscreen, and the like. For a moment, Ichigo stops and wonders if Rukia even knows how to swim ─ she flicks his forehead while rolling her eyes, “Tawake! Of course I know how to swim!” ─ All the while, he ignores Karin’s snide remarks, Yuzu’s smiles and his father’s perverted comments.

The night before they leave, Isshin even sits him down on his room, with a serious look on his face, which makes all the hair in Ichigo’s body stand on end.

“Now, son, I understand this is your first trip with Rukia with just the two of you, alone. So there are some things that, as a man, you need to know.”

Ichigo’s face starts burning as he stands up and sprints away from his father. Oh, hell no! He is not about to receive the talk when he’s already twenty one! And, yes, he’s pretty much aware this will be the first time he’s going to be alone with Rukia for a few days ever since their relationship changed. But it’s not like he’s planning on doing anything perverted! His intentions are pure, damnit! Yet, a little voice in his head wonders if this trip will make things change once more. When it comes to Rukia, he never knows how things are going to go. It is highly probable they will keep their hands to themselves. However, there is a teeny tiny possibility that they will cross uncharted territory. And, not gonna lie, that frightens Ichigo. Not because he doesn’t want to. But he is scared about the repercussion such a change might bring to their relationship. They have just been able to navigate this thing between them, he doesn’t want anything to ruin it! Particularly not such an adult thing to do. So, he puts those thoughts aside and goes to sleep. He tries to think about waves, sand, fish, beach balls, and definitely not in a scathingly clothed Rukia.

The next morning, Ichigo wakes up feeling refreshed and with a new outlook. He decides he is just going to enjoy this experience, whatever happens, with no expectations. When he meets Rukia in the kitchen, she is positively beaming. She is wearing a baby blue dress with a bow in the front. On her head rests a straw hat with a matching blue ribbon and her feet sport white sandals. She looks radiant. Ichigo has to look away for a moment, less he be forever blinded by her brilliance.

“Ready?”

“Yes!” She exclaims and off they go.

The trip to the beach is quiet. His old man had lent them his van and Ichigo is trying to focus on driving carefully. Though both are technically speaking not alive, that doesn’t mean their physical bodies can’t get hurt. Besides, he doesn’t want Isshin complaining about scratches on his car. Meanwhile, Rukia can’t stop staring outside the passenger seat window. From the corner of his eye, he can see the way her eyes light up the whole way. It is endearing how she manages to find magic in the most mundane of things. The road, cars, random buildings and establishments they pass by, the people. It doesn’t matter how many times she’s visited the human world, things will always be new for Rukia. Ichigo even spies her taking a picture here and there. It makes him feel happy. Happy that he can give him this. More memories. More life.

They make it to the beach by noon.

As expected, there are a lot of tourists there, but not as many as one would have expected. Neither desolate nor filled to the brim. Just the right amount of people. Rukia’s eyes turn ocean blue the moment they land on the golden sands of the beach. She squeals with unbridled joy and is about to sprint to the water when Ichigo stops her.

“We still gotta check in on the hotel.”

He had rented them a room. Nothing too fancy, he is a college student after all. But just enough to be comfortable. Ichigo goes through the usual motions. Gets their card on the lobby, and walks through the floors until they find their room. It is medium-sized with blue walls covered with paintings featuring boats and mermaids. There is just one bathroom, a mini fridge, an old TV. As it had been stated, nothing too fancy. But here is where Ichigo faces his first real problem. There is just one bed. He starts sweating the moment he realizes this, and wonders if he hadn’t specified he wanted two individual beds when he had made the reservations. Instead, there is a single queen sized bed in the room. Rukia doesn’t seem to care as she walks around the room, and opens the balcony to stare at the ocean. Internally, Ichigo screams. He hopes she is not thinking he is sleazy and that he had planned all of this trip with one purpose only. He tries to calm himself. Rukia knows him. She must know he’s not that kind of guy. And it’s not like they have never shared a room or even a bed before, for that matter. It’s just this will be the first time they will be alone. Completely alone with no one to interrupt them. Hopefully, not even Hollows.

While he is having a mental breakdown, Rukia is enjoying the cool breeze coming from the balcony. She opens all the windows and dances around the room. She opens the closet and the drawers. She discovers hangers and a notepad there. Then, she goes into the bathroom and she’s pleased to find a bathtub. Later tonight, she plans on taking a bubble bath to de-stress. Once her exploring is over, Ichigo has calmed down. Rukia is all smiles, with not a hint of displeasure in her face. She either hasn’t noticed the bed or hasn’t cared to think about the implications of it right now. He is grateful for that.

“Do you wanna go to the beach now?” He asks in case the literal elephant in the room is addressed.

Rukia nods enthusiastically. “Yes!”

They go downstairs and walk towards the beach while Rukia asks him a million of questions. Ichigo tries to answer all of them as best as he can. They talk about the peculiar birds she sees ─ “Those are called seagulls.” ─, the people, about volleyball and other beach activities, about the food, and even about Ichigo’s experiences at the beach. Finally, they find a spot under two umbrellas, and they set their towels down.

“We should put on sunscreen.” He says.

Rukia nods and reaches to the hem of her dress. She pulls it up to remove it, revealing inch by inch of creamy white skin. Ichigo’s first thought is that she will need to reapply sunscreen every two hours at least or she’s definitely going to get sunburned. His next thought is, wow, that’s too much skin! By all means, Rukia’s bikini is an average bikini as far as swimsuits go. The top doesn’t reveal too much cleavage and the bottom part covers everything that it should cover. But, man, he has never seen that much of her skin! Alright, that’s not exactly true. Though it’s not like anybody needs to know that! Still, this is new.

Rukia’s bikini is a deep violet, which matches her eyes. It has white polka dots, and the design is visually pleasing. Ichigo wonders where she had even gotten it. Had Urahara given it to her? He hopes not or he is going to kill the man. But regardless of where she got it, he can appreciate what it does to her figure. The top frames her breasts nicely. They look round and soft in it. Ready to be admired. Though small, Rukia has her own curves that he now gets to marvel at with no barriers. Small waist, small but rounded hips. Toned legs. He really doesn’t dare look at her behind, because he does have an inkling of what is awaiting him there, and he isn’t sure he is going to survive the view.

Ichigo feels in flames. Like he is burning and, by the end of this experience, there will be nothing left of him but ashes and bones.

“Ichigo, can you put sunscreen on my back? I don’t think I can reach all the way.”

Yep.

He is going to self-combust any moment now.

In hindsight, maybe this was a terrible idea. Because although his original intentions were pure, his mind is taking him to other places. Places that perhaps should remain unexplored. And, it’s been about a year since they first kissed. Six months since their relationship fundamentally changed. He never thought there would come a time in which he would be able to say Rukia was his. He has always been hers, but now she is his. Forever, they believe. But even that sounds simpler than advancing to the next level. His soul is hers. All hers. And his body wants to be hers as well. However, Ichigo isn’t sure she wants to be his in that way. Not yet at least. And, fuck, he is a man now. A man with his own curiosity and needs. A man madly in love with her. Can he be blamed for finding her the most gorgeous woman he has ever met? Can he be admonished for wanting her all to himself? Still, he shouldn’t objectify her. Shouldn’t make her think he sees her as a walking piece of meat. Rukia is much more than that. She is his person. The other piece of his soul. Even if he finds her irresistible.

No, Ichigo.

This trip is to keep cool and have fun. So keep it in your pants.

“Are you just going to stand there or are you going to help me?”

Rukia suddenly questions and breaks him out from his internal conflict.

“Uh… sure.” He stammers like a high school boy and his cheeks redden.

She turns to look at him coyly.

“Come on, I don’t bite.”

Ichigo is not so sure about that.

This is going to be a long, long trip.

#ichiruki #ichirukimonth #pro ichiruki #ichiruki fanfiction #my fanfiction

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dirtyfilthy · 3 years

Text

pansexuality, or, my pokemon is evolving into a new form

Previously I had always considered myself bisexual… by which I mean: “heteroflexible”. That is to say, entirely opportunistic, or perhaps more like just a total omnivorous slut (at least, whenever i get hungry enough). Sure, I’d happily have sex with most of my “straight male friends” --- given enough drugs. Maybe suck the odd dick or even get half a subway sandwich worth of good hard cock all slid up inside my ass if the right occasion would happen to present itself (“but hey listen bro - no homo!”)… contra-wise, when taking into account the spin of the other clock hand, I’ve always considered myself to be, essentially, pretty much romantically straight.

Over the broad course of my entire life I’ve have only ever fallen into incredibly intense love affairs with women, the type of relationships that would always tend to be utterly all consuming in terms of my emotional life.

And hey… maybe that is truthfully just the way I’m wired…

Or perhaps not. Because I have felt certain twinges of things I will (not) admit to myself… But it’s honestly far far far simpler just not to pursue any of this or even think of it as an option, cos there’s a whole bunch of crap you have to deal with in that direction. A single stand-alone MDMA fuelled lets-never-mention-it-again-I-swear-to-god-brah-it-was-only-purely-physical-and-its-not-like-I -just-desperately-craved genuine-human-connection-and-real-emotion-intimacy-with-someone-i-might-actually-kinda-like type night is one thing, sure, but being in an actual relationship is a total complete other kind of awkward that carries along with it an enormous amount of problems that are definitely a lot broader, much harder, and also have far harsher consequences

Problems that I simply didn’t want to have to deal with, or have to try and navigate my way through the dimensions of those social spaces. Being straight-passing is fucking convenient! I don’t have to deal with a huge amount of shit because of it!

I could play it safe inside the straight space, and so I did.

Additionally I actually don’t think it is purely as simple as “I am attracted to this”, “I am attracted to that”. Desire is the kind of fire you can either choose to feed or just let it die by starving. People are extremely multidimensional, and attraction (hopefully) will encompass more than just the physical.

So yeah, in preceding years whenever I was pushed for an answer I would shove back that ok yeah, so i was ostensibly bisexual “but actually I’m romantically straight ok” and just be done with it.

Quite honestly, four or five years ago I would have considered the term “pansexuality” just one more sin in the multitude of made-up (plz don’t @ me I swear-to-god I’ve changed a lot of my views since then) tumblr sexualities and plant-based soul-bonded star-kin type genders that always seemed to me to trend towards an ever increasingly unnecessary balkanisation of basic personal identity. What was wrong with the term “bisexuality” anyhow? Why did we need am entirely new word for something we obviously already had covered? (sincere apologies, non-binary wasn’t even on my conceptual radar at the time and I hadn’t thought of the trans angle)

so I guess what I’ve been thinking is this:

Am I actually attracted to genders?(which bisexuality would imply)

Or: am I far more attracted to people?

And I find myself swaying towards very much the later, I like people in general, I find I greatly enjoy having a large variety of friends, and I tend to fall in love with individuals in terms of who they are as human beings. Which I feel like “pansexuality” might appear to cover better. And who knows, maybe I’ll discover that, after-all, it really is only women that can ring my “romantically straight” bell, but I find myself in a place where I willing to try explore the alternatives.

I drew myself a new horizon line, open at both ends, where I am finally ready and willing to let myself feel entirely new things. And thanks to polyamory I get to use the full palette of all the colours at once, rather than restricting myself to just one hue at a time. Jeez, I’m 41, how much can I honestly say I know about myself if I’ve never even tried being a relationship with a guy, or being with someone who’s non-binary or not cisgender etc. Actually it is worse than ”never even tried”, I have never even allowed myself to consider it as an option.

Please understand: I don’t mean this in tokenistic kind of way at all. I am not here to simply collect the set. It is just that I think I’ve been artificially restricting the choice of meals I would let myself think about eating ...(or even sampling!) to one single type of food item only, and I’d definitely like to taste the entire range of all the flavours available, in absolutely any of dishes I come across that I might possibly consider appealing

TLDR: There’s an awful lot of very kick-ass and totally awesome people in this world, and I’m increasingly beginning to wonder if gender is actually something I really need to care about in terms of attraction, or at least I’m willing to try and find out if it is.

- - -

edit: I am obviously working through these thoughts as i go. I am also 41 (i.e. behind the times, still talks about the “kids these days” can’t program the clock on his own VCR etc) so I apologise if I fuck things up, put things in out-dated or accidently offensive way and so forth.. a lot of these concepts are fairly new to me: my intent is to be genuine and also to be as kind if possible, happy to engage in good faith about anything.

Additionally I can’t wait to have this conversation with my dad hahahahah.

#pansexuality #bisexuality #sexuality #attraction #gender

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tundrainafrica · 3 years

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So, what's your overall opinion on snk 139?

Something doesn’t sit well with me with how people on Twitter are complaining about 139. Personally (Hange backstory aside), it was satisfying and despite what people are saying that it ‘romanticizes genocide,’ I do not agree. I wanted to give my thoughts on the chapter overall so I decided to write it out.

In fact, I have another take on the overall message of the story and I hope people would give this a read.

Disclaimer: Sure, I am defending the story line and the ‘message’ that’s coming with it but I in no way, agree with the genocide. But there is a more nuanced take on this which I think will help people understand that there is an underlying message to all this and I wanted to just talk about it below.

Also, I found some cringe-worthy moments, I do not agree with Armin’s take on ‘Thank you for committing genocide for us’ one of the most horrible lines ever and I like to retcon that and never think about it again and I intend to read the Japanese raws though to check if it was just a translation error.

Maybe there is someone who already explored this but yeah, I’ll just write this in case no one has.

For now though, allow me to give a more detailed analysis of the message over all so people stop hating on the ending for ‘romanticizing genocide’ because I think this is a low key pretty shallow take on the whole thing and I want to provide some information, some analysis and some comparison to make people realize, this isn’t as easy as people claim it to be.

So let me start by mentioning something about the war with Marley to give people some perspective.

Yams pretty much set up a trolley problem on a wider scale and Eren was the one with the lever.

For people who don’t know what the trolley problem is, allow me to explain it below.

Here is a sample I found online: (See this link for details)

“A runaway trolley is heading down the tracks toward five workers who will all be killed if the trolley proceeds on its present course. Adam is standing next to a large switch that can divert the trolley onto a different track. The only way to save the lives of the five workers is to divert the trolley onto another track that only has one worker on it. If Adam diverts the trolley onto the other track, this one worker will die, but the other five workers will be saved.”

There are a lot of variations to this like:

“A runaway trolley is heading down the tracks toward five workers who will all be killed if the trolley proceeds on its present course. Adam is on a footbridge over the tracks, in between the approaching trolley and the five workers. Next to him on this footbridge is a stranger who happens to be very large. The only way to save the lives of the five workers is to push this stranger off the footbridge and onto the tracks below where his large body will stop the trolley. The stranger will die if Adam does this, but the five workers will be saved”

And there are so many other variations of this.

The runaway trolley is going after your mom vs. five escaped prisoners.

The runaway trolley is going after Pope Francis vs five serial killers.

These trolley problems show the moral tension between two schools of thought which are in two different ends of the moral spectrum: ‘Utilitarian ethics and ‘deontological ethics’ which are both either way, inherently flawed yet not totally bad. Utilitarian ethics focuses on the net happiness of doing an action as a determinant of whether something is good or not. So a utilitarian will find a way to kill less people and will probably go for the action which will actively kill people if it means saving others.

Deontological ethics emphasizes that the attention should be on the act in itself not the result is what makes something good. So ‘NOT pulling the lever’ even if it kills five people is the good thing to do.

The thing is, the trolley problem is not completely applicable in real life because you cannot really predict what’s gonna happen. Utilitarian ethics assumes that you will know what will happen in the end.

And here’s the thing, in the massive trolley problem created by Yams, Eren was the one with the lever. This was already proven in 138 and there were clear cut results. Eren knew what was going to happen. If he could, he would have just yeeted off to the woods with Mikasa and lived their remaining life together.

If he didn’t do anything, Paradis would have been completely destroyed and lost in five years or so. Marley was gonna overrun Paradis, the other nations were going to destroy it, take their resources and massive genocide was going to happen anyway.

Sure, Zeke and Hange offered their own suggestions to stop it. But as the founding titan, I’m sure Eren knew it probably wasn’t going to work. Because his daydream or the reality he saw where he lived in the woods with Mikasa implies that someone else took over the peace negotiations and Eren said himself, they had at least five years of peace before Marley and the other countries invade.

So with the results of both choices of the ‘trolley problem’ in Eren’s head at that time, he had a clear choice to make. Lemme quote the trolley problem again and apply it to his case.

“A runaway trolley (aka the war) is heading down the tracks towards Paradis who will all be killed if the trolley proceeds on its present course. Eren is standing next to a large switch that can divert the trolley onto a different track. The only way to save the lives of the people of his hometown is to divert the trolley onto another track that has the rest of the world (or at least the victims) on it. If Eren diverts the trolley onto the other track, the genoicde (the intended genocide), but Paradis will be saved.”

Okay fine, it looks like Eren did do something horrible because he pulled the lever and let more people die which is considered bad under the paradigm of both utilitarian and deontological ethics.

But lemme show you another variation of the trolley problem which can put Eren’s choice into perspective:

“A runaway trolley is heading down the tracks towards your beloved family who will all be killed if the trolley proceeds on its present course. You are standing next to a large switch that can divert the trolley onto a different track. The only way to save the lives of your loved ones is to divert the trolley onto another track that has complete strangers that have only hated you and are ready to fight back and kill everyone you love if you let them live. What will you do?”

This is difficult right? I don’t think it would be easy to make a choice to kill your family right?

So Eren went for the easier choice...

“A runaway trolley is heading down the tracks towards Eren’s loved ones who will all be killed if the trolley proceeds on its present course. Eren is standing next to a large switch that can divert the trolley onto a different track. The only way to save the lives of his loved ones is to divert the trolley onto another track that has complete strangers that have only hated him and are ready to fight back and kill everyone he loves if he lets them live.. So Eren diverts the trolley onto the other track, this trolley kills the current victims of the rumbling, but his hometown Paradis will be saved.”

So, what fueled Eren’s choice? Can love fuel Eren’s choice? Is love a valid reason to push or to leave the lever?

I personally believe love is the answer. But here my explanation.

Utilitarian and Deontological ethics are on two different sides of the ethical spectrum and at their extremes they are both inherently flawed paradigms to live by. Most people actually flit between the two when making decisions in morally gray situations which I believe is generally the most appropriate way to navigate ethics.

Let me introduce one new ethical paradigm to this discussion. “Aristotle ethics’ or Nicomachean ethics which claims there is a golden mean for everything. So goodness is finding that golden mean.

So I personally believe the most ethical and the best option is the finding that golden mean in between utilitarian ethics and deontological ethics, and what is the golden mean?

It’s difficult to find but I always believed the golden mean for something as complex as morality is the ‘most loving option’ but believe me, the most ‘loving option’ is very difficult thing to find.

I never believed that ‘true love’ was an emotion. I always believed love to be something born of deep discernment more than everything else. Although Eren had touched on love when he made the final decision to kill, he lacked the discernment which makes his decision still inherently flawed in the grand scheme of things.

So what was the whole point of the story?

I never believed AOT to be a manga that ‘romanticizes genocide’ regardless of what people are saying.

I think what Yams was trying to set up here, after giving Eren the very difficult decision, was ‘who set up the tracks in the first place?’

Who forced that young boy from Shinganshina to stand at the side of the tracks and have to make the decision to kill millions or to let his family die?

Was it the cycle of hatred? Was it the crapsack world that just forces everyone to be an asshole?

And the thing is, their world is a shithole. Just like ours.

Everyone is forced to do evil every once in their life (even through small ways) but it doesn’t mean that these people are completely at fault. There are structures in society that force us to do ‘evil’ to survive and the Catholic concept of social sin explains this. I won’t go into detail about this but I just want to say...

Morality is incredibly complex and I do not believe a clear cut right or wrong exist. But I believe if everyone discerned for themselves what right or wrong is, if everyone did their part to make this world a better place, maybe so many people wouldn’t be faced with their own version of the ‘trolley problem,’ maybe so many people wouldn’t be faced with the decision to make such an ethically gray and questionable decision like Eren.

So what’s the message that I believe Yams is trying to relay with his story?

Stop the cycle of hatred, start talking, start discourse. Stop fighting. And I think he has shown it multiple times with Eren and Reiner’s conversation and with Marco’s screams of ‘WE HAVEN’T EVEN TALKED THIS THROUGH YET.”

Anyway, I hope this meta or this rant whatever you think it is, just gives some new perspectives on the ending. Don’t get me wrong, Eren made a very ethically questionable decision but it had never been an easy decision to make to begin with.

And I hope this type of analysis and reflection could be useful to your own thoughts and your own ways on how you choose to navigate life.

#snk 139 #snk spoilers #snk ending #eren jaeger #meta

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