#in the way theyre like o shit why is this happening to me

[immamapletreekid]

ok movie thoughts time

[happyendingsong]

last week of work

[angel---eater]

theres so much something to the tiaratop AI being a physical representation of how fascism spreads like a literal brain disease by way of taking over jane herself. i really do believe that jane is one of those kids who grew up more susceptible to stuff that leads into fascism bc of her circumstances (ie: being the heiress, an interest in capitalism and branding, being the most socially sheltered of her friend group, casual homophobia that also comes from growing up in a sheltered upper middle class suburb [not being able to parse that jake could be into guys]). all of her other friends are stranded alone with literally no money lol. and like thats one of the reasons the tiaratop works on her. not only is this thing probably literally tailored to her but her living situation leaves massive weak spots to it. so the thought of (1) her friends waking her up to her blind spots and (2) her forcefully distancing the tiaratop AI from herself and (3) the tiaratop AI not leaving and actually needing to be deprogramed - haha - HERSELF is really fuckin cool actually

which then makes me think of candy!jane. the alpha kids dont really hang out or really talk to e/o in the epilogues, like, at all. jane and jake notwithstanding and frought with issues. and im not surprised because homestuck operates on a very literal show dont tell rule. we dont actually get to see the alpha kids talk it out and thats since been used to forward their characters in beyond canon. which i think is REALLY cool

dirk dies in candy but before that his and janes relationship seems to get professional and largely stay that way. in candy jane does not get help and thats why shes written the way she is. shes the goddess of life with an insane amount of power and responsibility that she felt completely alone with and not one of her friends slowed her down bc i truly think they didnt know HOW. they have their hands full with their own problems. shes also the only kid who goes through the end-game door with a guardian. everyone else is 16-onward trying to navigate their trauma without their designated adult and holy shit does that show

the last time we saw jane in HSBC she said smth really cool and revealing abt all of this. genuinely even if you dont like whats happening in the eps and HSBC i think its good to read them bc the writing team DO know what theyre doing, and its also very apparent that they love these characters. hussie themself is on this too. meat and candy are canonically only two possible outcomes of a post-game setting after all, theyre the ones we just get to see

[holostarz]

my problem is i think most of p5s ships are cute and thats why i almost always am down for some form of polythieves

usually i just lump all the guys together cause all those ships are just so good to me??? and i mean like, every combination of them, even without ren. ill ship ryuji and yusuke. and i also love goro with either of them. ryugoro and akekita are so rare but theyre so nice?? they all just. clenches fists. theyre so good ot4 pegoryugorokita

goroann besties is real in my heart. also goroharu being like the Cursed besties ever in the end like. my god they have such a wack and unhinged platonic soulmates/kindred spirits potential. goromako rivals forever my guy they are so fucking funny. and ryukoto is kinda cute...

i think shumako is nice but its just not my cuppa tea. they are dear friends and i do love the image of ren and makoto being a bit rivalcoded and butting heads over phantom thievery and how to lead the team best. and goro is weirdly the one who can actually somehow stop arguments before they happen and get them to compromise.

makoto is NOT the mom friend okay she is the bossy and protective older sister friend. and she is smart and sensible but not immune to her friends infecting her with Stupid. ren is the mom friend. and the dad friend. best of both things. :)

ren: its hard raising 8 kids when youre in high school and an 18 y/o whos like if a divorced widow was a boy 😔 sojiro: what happened to your husband??? ren: he was lost at sea goro: ren, look at this dog i saw on my way here ren: i can still hear his voice

meanwhile i love futago half siblings headcanon. so while goro and makoto are a little more sibling rivalry coded, futaba is still goros actual gremlin sibling who will bully him to death. meanwhile, futaba is actually adoptive siblings with ren. these two are WAY more sibling coded than goro and futaba ever.

and when futaba starts trying to do similar Sibling dynamic things with goro. goro is like ??? "ren, futaba just came in here. stared at me. burped. and then left. what does this mean." and ren is like. "oh is there food? theyre probably telling you theres food and to come out if you want some. or if this is your first time seeing them today they could just be greeting you." and goro is like ????? but louder this time

i love shujin trio poly... and i default to them being the OG Cule. shuann? v cute love them. ryuann? also cute and honestly v funny of how messy i imagine their hookups being. like they keep breaking up and eventually finding their way back to each other. sometimes i see them as sibling coded, too, more than anything else. overall i just love these three together they are the tomodachis of all time they are partners for life

i also love ryuharu. and harukita (yuharu?) theyre really cute.... then theres good ol makoharu and annmako (makoann?) and i love them too... honestly love hifumi and makoto too?? i think they would be huge fucking dorks together... perhaps.... rivals, even?

goro and hifumi being friends... good shit. hifumi and yusuke being close friends? plz... and ren and hifumi are just. wahh i love them theyre so good. even futaba and hifumi could be cute, honestly.... wtf

and we cannot forget ANNSHIHO,,, forever. my GORLS.... lesbiabs of my heart.

anntaba is a rare one but theyre also v cute to me... and if they arent girlfriends i love the idea of futaba having a crush on her and then realizing those feelings are actually just Admiration and Gender envy. i also love the idea of morgana finding out his crush on ann is ALSO GENDER ENVY RELATED.... we love nonbiney morgana. hope is genderless

ren: my CAT IS TRANS!? NOT CLICKBAIT?

and makoto is always being an older sister to futaba. yutaba is nice, too. i honestly see futaba and yusuke being aspec and theyre platonic soulmates and in a qpp. and ofc sumitaba my beloved... i love sumitaba a lot

i adore ryusumi too like oh myg od,,.. wahh.... the sweeties. sumikita is so rare but like. i think they could be kinda cute too?? sumigoro is V platonic soulmates to me like my god theyre so. clenches fist. honestly whole royal trio tbh is just. "they can make each other worse" and each of them thinking "thank god im the normal one here" thats it thats the whole dynamic. and its so funny.

shusumi is cute too but honestly i think i prefer both ren and goro have somethin of a platonic soulmates or older sibling dynamic with sumire. they have adopted her okay. sumiann isnt one i see a lot either but they.... THEM.....

any mishima ship is super funny imo but like, theyre cute. love yuuki having a crush on ren but like. the game makes it near impossible for you to actually be fucking nice to him so i always get the vibe that ren would rather keep him at a distance, even tho they appreciate him and care about him.

its okay tho cause i say hes good friends with the OG trio + shiho and they vibe. yuuki crushing on goro, to his own horror? hilarious. and weirdly enough shiho and ren?? idk what their acronym is. but. oh my god. theyre actually weirdly cute? but i see them having disaster twins energy. theyre absolute menaces.

[hijackalx]

*SOME DURGE QUEST SPOILERS*

***NONCON AND DRUG USE MENTIONS***

GORTASH SFW HEADCANONS:

ok to start i think when he was a prisoner his hair got rlly long and unkept and he hateddd it so the minute he escaped he chopped that shit off himself and thats why its so unruly lol (*EDIT he always cuts his own hair is what im sayin)

this man is such a taurus like everything about him screams taurus. has a taurus stellium fosho

would listen to superheaven

hes also sooo jenny by studio killers, disco man by remi wolf, happiness by the 1975 coded with Durge 😩😩

with durge hes also giving bf that ur dad hates but like thats canon. i think he likes that hes able to influence durge to the point that they rebel lol. the type of boy u run away with when ur younger

probably BLASTED jet black heart by 5SOS on repeat when Durge disappeared LMFAOO

also i kind of feel like the fearless buff to his clothing is more an insight to his character rather than him needing magic to not be fearful bcz he literally got the shit beat out of him everyday and lived in HELL how can he not be desensitized to everything at that point 😭😭😭 it does not get much worse than that my boy

hes so thique like hes just a big boned dude. tiddies SO fat too EUGH + thick shoulders/arms. he feels so warm and safe i just know it i just KNOW it gurl

also idk if it was supposed to happen but in my latest playthrough during the fight with him he dropped his bow and just started beating the shit out of us 😭😭😭😭 all hands baby like WHAT 😭😭 so i like to think thats his preferred method of fighting idk if thats canon tho i feel like i seen somebody talking abt that before but mightve just been another hc

occasionally does drugs. likes the ones that make him feel really elated (idk what theyre called in bg3 its some kind of dust or something) ALSO HC THAT HE WAS ON SOMETHING WHEN HE WROTE RHAT FUCKED UP NOTE TO FRANC (WAS THAG HIS NAME U GUYS KNOW THE NOTE) HE WAS OBVIOJSLY TRIPPING BALLSSSSS

lots of body hair…… everywhere……. straight and black body hair. that is so sexy to me let me smell the pheromones in your armpits king LMFAO (i think theres something wrong with me)

going off of rhat yes i think he smells good (DIVINE, even) as a woman that is feral and in heat all the time. but to normal ppl he may smell kind of weird. not STINKY stinky but like when u dont shower and ur natural scent starts to mix with the perfume/cologne ur wearing SORRY 😭😭😭 im trying to be realistic here. or maybe like when u wake up and didnt shower the night before and u can still smell the perfume/cologne u put on yesterday. basically what im saying is he might need to shower

hes just so masculine it drives me crazy I LOVE MEN !!!!!!!!!! I LOVE EEENERM. ME E WN

love language:

giving = lowkey getting acts of service vibes here but u didnt hear it from me 🤫🤐 gift giving too. tav is just his widdle babie and he wants to make sure theyre the happiest they can be 🥺😩

receiving = acts of service LMAO give and get back type of shit

relationship wise i think he is the most doting and sweetest person. like tav will never have to worry abt anything ever again bcz he will handle everything. takes care of them cuz they are his king/queen 😌

GORTASH NSFW HEADCANONS:

yeah going off that last hc he is sweet outside the bedroom but a menace in it. its just the way he is. its probably exhausting too 😩 like if u ask him to be gentler/less intense he will try for a while but probably wont enjoy it as much. he doesnt like to hold back.

i WILL say tho ☝🏻🤨 i think when he gets close to finishing he gets a little more soft/loving. he just has to get his badness out first yall its fine

HIGH libido wants to smash all the time. he also (POSSIBLE NONCON MENTION !!!!!!!) thinks that since ur his u should be willing to give it up whenever he wants it. (NONCON MENTION OVER) i think in the bedroom he sees u as a servant even if ur considered his equal normally. like hes a chosen of bane he has to feel like he has control over u in SOME way

can be selfish depending on his mood. sometimes he doesnt see u as anything other than a toy (lowkey hard for me to admit but i NEVA LIE GIRLS !!!!! 🙅🙅🙅) like can be such a fucking asshole about it too

BUT !!! when he is feeling generous he is soooo generous. EUGH like he will make sure u enjoy urself!!!! probably multiple times !!!!!!!!!!!!

dont know why nobody else has said he has a daddy kink. so obvious like call him daddy ms thing he will nut so hard. oh corruption kink too. like can u imagine Durge being so innocent when they first met cuz they were never allowed to get close to anybody and hes just sooo into it HELLO i got to write that fic NEOW

omg breeding kink too give him heirs. will fuck the shitttt out of u in a mating press. probably comes a lot too almost impossible not to get pregnant with him LMAO

likes to pick u up and fuck u. manhandling king. also will do the faerun equivalent to coke and wants u to do it w him then fuck nasty afterwards

i feel like he doesnt last an extremely long time. 15-20 mins is THE MOST youre getting out of him lol he just gets very excited (which is lowkey kind of cute??)

do i even have to say that this man is packing schmeat. heavy dick. heavy balls. allow me to bear some of that weight for u my liege 🤲🏻🧎

ORIN BONUS ????:

mostly nsfw

ok i didnt originally plan to add orin but listen….. gortash is a charismatic guy….. imagine orin was into him too LISTEN ! like shes jealous asf of Durge in that sense too not just bcz of them being bhaal’s fav. like when i think abt them i just am getting a vibe okay. this trio……..

every time she sees gortash and Durge acting close and doing all their yucky lovesick shit she just gets soooo mad. now imagine she shifts into Durge to get gortash to fuck her. yeah… yall seeing the vision? would he ever find out ?? imagine that was why he hates orin so much?? he doesnt want to tell Durge (cuz thats cheating hes not a cheater duh 🙄 plus hes scared theyll be mad at him) and thats why his explanations as to why he hates orin are so vague

[salemontrial]

My (probably unfinished) official list of everything I love about the trailer💫

- "How's it going :))-" SWERVED. ALEXANDER CLAREMONT-DIAZ GOT FUCKING S W E R V E D-

- Nora looks like she's going to stab Alex with her high heel. Also she's so pretty. Xjakcjd

- "you've done some pretty stupid things in your life, but this-" "Takes the cake? :DD-"

- The way Henry looks at them when they're lying on the floor covered in cake. It's like he's restraining himself from strangling Alex with his own suit jacket for the sole purpose of not worsening the scandal.

- "HENRY. SHOVED. ME.😡🥺" "An urge I currently share."

- Ellen in her pantsuit.. hey Ellen👉👈

- Alex is looking for ways to escape the room when she says the words "damage control" he fucking knows-

- THEY. GOT. LIL NAS X. ON THE FUCKING SOUND TRACK. Oh I p r a y they got the rights to Get Low I p r a y.

- ALEX'S FACE WHILE ZAHRA IS BRIEFING HIM HES SO DRAMATIC

- Im sorry guys henry is so fine alexander isnt going to be the only one thirsting over henry for the entire 2 hours/jjj

- That FUCKING handshake in the park. I can see the veins in their hands they are g r i p p i n g-

- these faces this is a point.

- "My NDA is bigger than yours, I want you to know that." "You're wearing Lifts. I know that too, sweetheart." -H e a d t u r n--- HES SO FLOORED FJSNF-

- HENRY'S LITTLE MOUTH QUIRK AFTER HE SAYS THAT

- I CAN SEE THE KEY NECKLACE. I CAN S E E IT BLESS THE COSTUME DEPARTMENT SHOVING HIM IN A LOWCUT SHIRT-

- "You better act like the sun shines out of his ass and you have a vitamin D deficiency" ZAHRA HAS THE BEST LINES AND ITS WHAT SHE DESERVES.

- Alex faffing about with his hair via his phone camera before the interview thats my b O Y-

- Henry slides over the box of cornettos so hard like thats the only hostile act hes allowed to parttake in

- To the person who theorized in the comments of one of my posts that Alex was going to do a little shoulder punch in the interview scene i am going to draw you a little firstprince fanart-/hj

- Because that was so funny and so fucking cute henrys fucking face through that whole interaction was just. He looks like he's actively trying to dissociate from the situation fjsjfj-

- The cancer ward🥺🥺

- Alex's u g l y ass suit at the new years gala... its such a gross jacket guys Im sorry this is what happens when you dont have jUNE TO MICROMANAGE HIS WARDROBE-

- Alex putting his arm around Henry and Henry smiling to himself because he's probably got the most insane case of butterflies

- I'm marrying the lighting director of this movie.

- GUYS GUYS SHUT UP ITS THE KISS.

- HENRY'S FACE BEFORE HE GIVES THE "Christ, you are as thick as it gets" LINE IS SO FUNNY. QUESTIONING WHY HE EVER WENT AND FELL IN LOVE WITH A DUMBASS

- THEY D O N T KISS LIKE THEYD RATHER GO DOWN A RAZOR WATERSLIDE🎉🎉🎉🎉💫💞💞🏳️‍🌈/GEN

- He does Henry's "Oh shit" face so w e l l-

- ALEX'S STETSON EVERYONE GET AWAY FROM ME

- KARAOKE SCENE KARAOKE SCENE I SEE HENRY AT THE MICROPHONE

- Guys hes g o i n g to do the thing he does with the bottle I just know it oh my god

- "Get O V E R yourself your majesty -p i l l o w-" "It's your royal HIGHNESS -p i l l o w-" "OHoho-"

- The polo match sjsjf. Same alwx-/J

- The little new voters goal thingy poster thats so cute actually-

- The pride flag in the back of the campaign office

- Henry texting while he's getting the royal preening sjcj

- never thought id cry just hearing henry say he misses alex out loud-

- THEYRE NOT SANITIZING IT TO MAKE IT PALATABLE/POS

- HENRY IN THE CLOSET I AM GOING TO SCREAM-

- "If anyone sees you leave this hotel I will brexit your head from your body....... Your royal highness." I LOVE HERRRRRR

- IF YOU FEEL FOREVER ABOUT HIM. AND THE AND THE PANNING TO THEM IN BED WITH THE SOFT LAMP LIGHT. AND THEYRE SO SOFT. AND AND AND AND. UEUE

- "Do you love him?" "What difference would it make if I did?"

- Bea's voice is so pretty sobs..

- It's always the blond autistic boys in the blue hoodies I swear to god/lh

- Theyre just chilling in their robes🥺🥺🥺

- DAVID!!!!!!!😭😭😭💞

- "Prince Henry belongs to Britain" and what if i sobbed.

- THEM HOLDING HANDS SOMEBODY SEDATE ME.

- NO SHUT UP NO GO AWAY HENRY CRYING... I TRUST HIM WITH HENRY'S HEAVIER SCENES NOW

- THEYRE AT THE LAKEHOUSE😭😭😭

- "It's like there's a rope attached to my chest and it keeps pulling me towards you"

- THE ASS GRAB. ALEXANDER GABRIEL CLAREMONT-DIAZ

- "The night is young, ma✨" <- said as if he isn't currently groping the prince of England's ass

- She sees right fucking through him sjcjsj

CONCLUSION: I will eat my hat. The movie looks really really really fucking good, it looks spectacular and I am so excited for it. I trust them. I'm only SLIGHTLY mad they barely had Nora in it and I'm only SLIGHTLY bitter at cutting June and Luna. But I am an optimist and I will focus on the good which is that they're doing the characters incredible justice, and if I see one person try to deny their chemistry I will A Clockwork Orange their ass to this trailer for days. Because That Is Alex and Henry. That's them in front of my eyes and I think they're in very good hands and this is the most coherent thing I can write I'm still crying-/srs

[inamagicalhallucination]

natsuo not forgiving his dad but making peace with his past and moving on was actually really great; and i liked where endevour ended up -- even now its hard to say everyone's fully moved on from his abuse -- becuz thats not how it works, i think ive said it before but endeavors redemption arc always confused me becuz compared to characters like bakugo, his was so weak -- and that i thought (and still do) it was done on purpose

bakugo's growth is shown at a very slow and gradual process, when he apologizes to izuku, he's not only realized he was awful, he's already been actively better and he's already grown -- also bakugo's pre-arc self doesn't compare to endeavor who literally abused his entire family, leading his wife to a breakdown, his son to death and then villiany, along with many other things -- im only comparing them becuz they both had redemption arcs written by the same author not becuz i think theyre comparable

bakugo's actions werent good by any means but he, per every arc, gradually changed over and over, not only how he treated izuku but how he thought of him and how he acted overall (all the while retaining his loud personality lmao)

endeavor on the other hand essentially got what he wanted, realized he was a piece of shit and /then/ tried to make it up -- it wasnt like bakugo who was already being better when he apologized -- who was waiting to apologize -- endeavor's arc, in that way felt insincere

altho the scenes where endeavor tries to be a better father and todoroki ignores him are funny, they also show that endeavor just kind of tries to flip the switch -- there's not gradualness, no process, one day he's just like "well enough of being awful" but the thing is, why would siblings who have been hurt their entire life not want some aspect of love? of course it makes sense that even tho natsuo was the least likely to be willing to forgive endeavor, some times u thought that maybe... but natsuo could never forgive him, could never pretend that nothing happened and that they were family now, and that was perfect for him becuz he didn't owe endeavor anything

even when the dabi-touya reveal happens, endeavor fails to actually take action/responsibiltiy over his abuse of his family -- he's vocal about wanting to change, he tries to play up some reselblance of a father, but he fails to genuinely show growth most of the times (not to say he's never had moments where his regret is obvious, just that there are a lot of moments where he should be doing something but doesnt)

endeavor's arc is a show that sometimes u regret what u've done and u try to change, but u fail at it, sometimes apologies dont account for anything, sometimes people dont forgive u -- its a show that no every character arc is meant to end with the character forgiven --- endeavor says that he'll continue apologizing and give reparations for his crimes for the rest of his life, he accepts that that means nothing to natsuo and that natsuo wants to move on w/o him, he says he'll take the blame, that he chose to dance, so he'll take the consequences -- its a very bleak ending but it fits his arc the best -- endeavor was not able to really fix anything -- he did not fix his family, he did not save touya, he did not earn the love of his children, but he finally became ready to actually repent, without expecting anything in return

to clarify, i dont think that endeavor's regret is insincere, by the way, i think he does regret what he did to his family, however his regret for the abuse he forced hsi family through does not dictate how his family should react, no matter how sincere the regret, the apology, or the love, no one is required to forgive and move on -- and natsuo could not do that, but at the very least, becuz of endeavor's change, he was finally able to have some peace with it all

finally, the touya situation

the todoroki family is genuinely hell for me, the touya/dabi-shoto interaction killed me, i think ppl forget that touya's so called hatred for shoto is stemmed from the endeavors actions and abuse, touya is able to recognize that its not really shoto's fault but he cant /help/ but have all that anger in him anyway becuz of endeavor -- all of touya's siblings were born for the sole reason of being his replacement

in another life, the todoroki siblings would have loved and cherished each other, in another like touya would have been shoto's big brother and shoto would have been his little brother, they would have had soba together, they would have trained together, they would have all been a family

the "shouto im sorry" and touya crying was the worst and best thing horikoshi has ever done

[wildpeachfarm]

See the thing is with streaming its going to die regardless, yes companies handing out less contracts is killing it further but its already dying at a fast rate? I'm not a stream hater either btw I really enjoy them but like. For example. 2020, 2021? When school was remote and I only ever worked mornings because of covid hours? I was clocked into that Philza 8hr stream DAILY. I was scheduling my classes around those streams so I could do homework while listening/watching. Went as far as to use my monthly speaking privilge to ask Phil what date British Daylight Savings began so I could keep my schedule clear. The second everything was no longer remote, and store hours went back to normal, I maybe caught 2, 3, maybe 4 streams in that year before I decided enough was enough about QSMP and I LOVE hardcore content.

From a company standpoint I can see why YT may not be interested in handing out streamer contracts anymore. Like Dreamie and a few others they're recognizing the Covid Number Boom is over- but unlike Dreamie, because theyre a corporation, they can't just "stick it out" and "recelebrate milestones". They have a "bottom line" to protect and they're not getting that same sweet sweet ad revenue from streams because of decreased viewer counts. Esp bc people don't just go back and watch vods unless there's a REAAAALLY good reason to. So no ad viewership there either. They're going to go back to relying on videos (and unfortunately probably shorts as well, I hate the tiktok-ification of every socmed site) to keep their ad revenue up, especially with the battle of ad blockers. I see more ad and monitization deals being handed out.

With streams (bc vod watching is lowkey practically nonexistant) not being in high demand bc of time constraints (happening while busy, timezones issues) the demands for videos will be higher as videos are ALWAYS readily available. Someone uploads at midnight your timezone? I mean it'll be there when you wake up, you won't have "missed" anything like you would have a livestream. Get a video schedule set out and you're GOLDEN- the first thing I do when I get home from work is check if a handful of youtubers have uploaded to put on to watch. If not, I rewatch some of my fav vids.

Also psychologically I actually think this is for the better of all CCs as a whole. Streaming, esp for some of the hourly requirements some of these ppl either HAVE to hit to get paid or WILLINGLY put themselves through (Tubbo) you have to wear your persona the ENTIRE time. You have to make sure you don't slip up that ENTIRE time. You have to be entertaining the ENTIRE time. You have to filter yourself because it's all live. To me this just sounds like what I do on a daily basis masking my audHD and that shit is so tiring and it's why I could NEVER be a streamer. If you're recording videos you can control what goes out. You don't have to wear whatever persona you decide to put on for 8hrs for a stream, you can record 3 hours of footage and then be done for the day, and that can either be one video or multiple depending on a lot of factors. Accidentally say your mom's name? Cut the clip. Bit isn't funny? Cut the clip. They will still have to actively filter themselves yes but for a much less amount of time. In the end CCs will have a lot more mind power that they're not using up to take care of themselves. I genuinely think it's psychologically better for them all.

It's unfortunate that the streaming industry is going to collapse this way. But also seeing how the communities heavily affected by streaming are more drama filled than communities w/o streaming, I'm lowkey hoping it's for the best. Pulling the plug like this imo is a mercy kill.

And now I'm gonna wash my mouth out for all that corporate speak I just used. Sorry for the manifesto. And if someone wants to put this manifesto on reddit idc just crop/block any usernames IG

I appreciate the essay-andy-ing these are interesting thoughts! I don't think the streaming scene will collapse entirely but I do think that it will become more advantageous to be a youtuber because people have found that to be the most consistent for many years as a CC rather than streams which require a lot of additional things (like you mentioned)

And I feel like we are seeing quite a few people say they're going to prioritize youtube more in the future which seems to be the beginning of that transition

I am curious if twitch will ever try to keep certain big-viewer streamers on the platform with 'kick-style' ($$$$) contracts.

[palmviolet]

Hii, not wanting to seem weird or bother u, but what happened to Parallel Lines? It was a work in progress of yours and It was steddie so maybe thats why u never finished It, but did It have anything cool in It, i love music aus even more If theyre in the 70 with lots of acurate facts 😭😭😭😭

omg... parallel lines... i'm so pleased you remember that lmao this made me go reread the 5k or so words i had written for it. i'm afraid to say i'm not all that pleased with them (given my style has changed a huge amount since 2022) but the base ideas are so much fun — steve as an ordinary guy who put his passion for music behind him at his dad's behest, dating nancy the rolling stone reporter who interviews eddie munson, top of the world as the guitarist/frontman for marchwarden, a huge hard rock band with a three-day residency at the roxy to kick off their third us tour. nancy brings steve along backstage; steve and eddie hit it off. they spend the whole tour talking over the phone; when eddie gets back to la, things evolve.

the idea was that the fic would span three volumes and several years. this all begins in 1976; by 1978, they're broken up and eddie is living in london having written a breakup album, including the song 'parallel lines.' this of course is not the end of the story: steve and eddie get roped back together by robin, who's an up and coming artist under the same label as eddie, management attempting to make them each other's beards, trying to convince steve to join her band. they meet again at the marquee club in london when eddie gets her a supporting gig there.

steve eventually gets into music himself, at the perfect time for the ascendancy of synth in the late 70s/early 80s and the decline of the golden age of rock — steve on the way up and eddie (relatively) on the way down. add to this queer culture, love songs with the pronouns changed (or not), and david bowie. steve as a solo artist names himself vanity; robin's band (which includes max) is called giraffe; eddie's is marchwarden (as i was going for a more 70s vibe, led zep style, vs. corroded coffin as a very 80s metal name). at some point nancy starts dating photographer jonathan, probably breaks that off and winds up with robin instead. eddie's manager is lonnie until lonnie turns out to be a piece of shit. everybody's lives are tangled up together and it would have taken me years to write lmao

so yeah. i will not be writing this, probably, given the steddie interest is lingering only long enough for me to finish better by you and no longer. which is a shame, but c'est la vie.

thank you for reminding me of this! it's fun to talk about.

have the interview that would have opened the fic beneath the cut, anyway:

MW. So, let’s talk Parallel Lines. It’s quite different from the other songs on the album, isn’t it? Almost a surf-rock feel to some of the chords.

EM. Well, let’s not go quite that far… [laughing] But yeah, I guess it is pretty different. That’s not by design, necessarily, it just kinda turned out that way as a result of the lyrics and my idea behind the song.

MW. Which is…? I mean, it sounds to me like a breakup song, but that seems a rather simplistic explanation for a songwriter whose catalogue includes — expanding for the readers, here — an entire concept album about an evil wizard.

EM. [laughing again] Shit, well, thanks, Mick, I’m honestly very flattered by that. I mean, like, sixteen-year-old me, all teenage angst and growing my hair out of a really bad haircut, he would have died if he’d known I was writing a song about a breakup. Like, he’d totally have killed me! And maybe I’d deserve it! But, yeah, you got me, I wrote a song about a breakup.

MW. The lyrics aren’t simplistic at all, though, I mean, the mathematical concepts, the metaphors… I think it’s safe to say no one’s going to mistake this for your typical breakup song. There’s something almost hauntingly analytical about it. 

EM. Hauntingly analytical… yeah, I like that. It’s sort of an attempt to process something that happened in a way that doesn’t come all that naturally to me — or, I guess, to anyone. Who relates to a breakup through math, right? But if something totally alters the way you see the world, it’s like… a total paradigm shift. Sorry, more math speak. You wanna know the ironic thing, Mick? The person this song is written about hates math. Like, loathes it. Even more ironic, I absolutely hate it too. I had to call my friend at Caltech, he’s majoring in Physics, I had to ask him to check my math…

MW. [laughing] I’m impressed at your dedication to accuracy. So is that the point, then, trying to connect with someone in a language that neither of you understand or enjoy?

EM. Yeah, pretty much. I mean, that’s the thing with parallel lines, right? Never the twain shall meet. Always separate, doomed by fate, if I can put a horrible little cliché in there for you. Magazines love that shit.

MW. But they run side by side still, don’t they? Going in the same direction?

EM. There is that. 

MW. You’re famously reluctant to talk about this song, if I may say so, yet you’ve been incredibly generous with me — thank you! Is there a reason for that, or did you just decide that now’s the time?

EM. Now’s the time, I guess. Different country, different magazine. Maybe I’m hoping the person it’s about won’t see it, [laughs dubiously] if you can believe it — who knew I was such a coward? Had to cross the Atlantic before I could talk about a song I play to tens of thousands every night.

MW. Well, I’m honoured, whatever the reason. One last question on it, before we move on to that killer performance on Top of the Pops — I think you changed a great many British women’s lives with that one — any relation to the Blondie album?

EM. Y’know, I get asked this a lot. I mean, I’ll tell you the usual stuff: I have great respect for them as artists, the album’s great, the song’s unrelated, we just happened to release them within a couple months of each other. Debbie’s great, we caught up at the VMAs the other week and we’re totally cool about the title. But what I will add, since apparently I’m in a, um, confessional mood — something else ironic is that the person the song’s about probably prefers the Blondie album.

MW. Well, what can you do? Birds do like Blondie. 

EM. Sure. Sure they do.

— from ‘Eddie Munson: Parallels to the Past’ Interview by Michael Watts, Melody Maker, 16th August 1978

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

@intertexts I AM going to take you up on this and it WILL be everyone else's problem . this is going to be so long and disjointed and stream of consciousness and not at all organized. my enrichment for work today

GOD where do i even fucking start. im literally thinking about him constantly dude. i hate it here. i love when a character is allowed to be a bad person and also still like. care. he cares so much. he cares so much it fucking HURTS but also he sucks !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and this is a good thing. i never want him to get better however i do want him to give his son a hug just once.

uhhhhhhhhhhh ok ok ok. lizard biology is a good place to start i love fucked up fantasy biology. keep in mind while i do like to talk about science and things i do also love to suspend my disbelief when it conveniences me. yes i know this would not work irl thats why i like it. anyway. hey why the fuck did they make him do that. i know overlords whole deal was fucking with dna but how insane is it that hes like. "oh you want to work for me? awesome. get experimented on idiot." awesome way to keep your employees from quitting: subject them to genetic torture. do you think he fought it. of course he fucking did hes mark winters he would not agree to that shit.

how disorienting do you think it was to wake up and suddenly have a whole extra sense. not just that but also a whole extra LIMB. what the fuck do you do. do u think it was sudden or gradual. i cant decide which is worse tbh. i guess this is a good excuse to talk about what exactly i think his lizard mutations look like.

he obviously has the scales. theyre on mostly the left half of his body, i think his right side is generally pretty untouched by any sort of mutation. the ones on his face are pretty much localized around his eye, (which i think looks like a tokay gecko btw. theyre yellow and have cool shaped pupils) but probably also extend down his cheek and maybe even down onto his neck a little. i think theyre probably scattered on his back and chest, hes got a bunch of distinct big patches rather than like a smooth transition from skin to scales. i think his left hand is completely covered with scales and his nails are more like claws on that side. he probably files them down a little (or like. just scratches them on concrete and metal and shit until theyre filed down. not healthy behavior). i like to imagine he has a tail too but its kind of short and stubby and not very. useful for anything except fucking up his balance and being generally Uncomfortable. OH also once every couple months the scales get SUPER uncomfortable and itchy and they shed. also when this happens he goes blind in the lizard eye and the first time that happened i think he was scared as FUCK that it was gonna be permanent

NOW IM GONNA START TALKING ABOUT. PIT ORGANS AND THIS MIGHT GET LONG AND TECHNICAL SO ILL TRY TO KEEP IT. SOMEWHAT SHORT. so. he can see william when hes invisible. and that has been CONFIRMED a lizard mutation thing and not just a result of one of his powers (which is still insane to me). and the ONLY WAY i can think of justifying that is by thermoreception or. heat sense. like infrared sensing. which is a thing that certain species of snakes can do!! specifically boas and vipers have these things called pit organs which are little holes usually around their nose with a membrane that is extremely sensitive to temperature changes and allows them to basically see in infrared. its not exactly SEEING and more like sensing which i think in a human would be so EXTREMELY disorienting. i havent figured out what exactly that would look like from a mark first person pov but the way i vaguely imagine it is if you overlayed an infrared camera over a normal camera and turned the opacity down to like 30% (<< clear enough that he can still see normally but still bright enough to be WEIRD). i think hes got sorta like what pythons have where they have multiple smaller pits rather than a single large one like a viper, and theyre right underneath the lizard eye so that when he has that eye covered with bandages it sort of dulls down the thermoreception. UGH.

ok enough about lizard powers i want to put you in the winters family torment nexus. actually ill talk about his powers a little bit first. so i am a little unclear as to what his powers actually ARE mechanically but based on the vague descriptions of things he can do i think it has to do with manipulating electricity and other types of energy (hence. wavelength.) i dont think its solely based on LIGHT but rather on likeeee. energy. i dont actually know a whole lot about electricity i havent taken a physics class since high school. ANYWAY. i think he was born with them and naturally theyre sort of weak and he cant do much with them which is why he uses the suits. (inserting my vague bit of worm knowledge i would put him under the Tinker class bc he makes a lot of his own tech hehe). his powers naturally without the suits manifest as like. a constant low buzzing in the background kind of like if youve ever. touched a crt monitor. sort of fuzzy and staticky. and maybe he can use them to like. run extra power through a wire or make a lightbulb glow a little brighter or power a battery. nothing really major useful for fighting but could be used in everyday activities! bizly mentioned once that he powers his suits like a battery and they amplify his powers and i have not let go of that ever since. do u ever think about how he has . holes in his back that his suits stab into. i think about that a lot. do you think he did that to himself. anyway.

NOW its winters family torment nexus time. before ashe's mom died. i think they were happy :( i dont think mark was always as shitty as he is now. i think he used to be just like. a normal dad. a little gruff and emotionally repressed because thats just. who he is. but very obviously loved his family and. idk. would take ashe fishing when he was little or something. weekend trip to the lake. he has a fucking cabin in the woods dude! i like to think heeee had a job as an electrician because it made his powers really convenient. (side note here i just really really like the worldbuilding of people casually having powers and using them to make their lives easier. i just really like that a lot and have a lot of thoughts about it.) I thiiiiiink ashe's mom worked in a library or a museum or something. something with a lot of books. maybe a museum. i think mark would take ashe with him in the mornings and drop him off at school before he went to work. i think ashe would put stickers on his dashboard when he got old enough to sit in the front seat (there are still. old faded stickers on the underside of his glove box and the old leftover residue of long term stickers dried out by the sun on the dash. the kind of shit that gets grey and kind of gross but is impossible to remove).

ashe's mom died when he was ... like 8 or 9. and i think for a really REALLY long time mark was just fucking terrified. i mean how the fuck do you recover from something like that. how do you look your kid in the eyes when you saw him do. that. i specifically wrote out part of this scene in my fic so at risk of sounding like a broken record i wont talk about it TOO much but. i think mark was at work when it happened. he got home from work and the house was way too quiet and then he found ashe still half-possessed in his room with a dead body. and his immediate first thought was that someone had broken in or something so his first instinct is to get ashe out of there but when he goes to pick him up from the floor he sees. trickster. or at least like. partial trickster. and he doesnt know what to do and theres that fucking book on the floor and his 8 yr old son is holding his mothers heart in his hands like its just a piece of meat and . whuh oh. hes just like. a regular guy. what the fuck is he supposed to do here! he considers just. running. leaving. getting back in his car and driving away and never coming back. and then he realizes thats fucking stupid and this is his child and he needs to do *something*

ashe is able to fight off full possession on his own (iiiiiii have a theory about ashes powers and what they are but i cant talk about that in detail until later) and i havent worked out the details of how i think the IMMEDIATE aftermath goes but. mark covers for him. gets rid of any sort of evidence that could POSSIBLY point to ashe being the one that killed her and sticks to the story that it was a freak villain attack instead. closed casket funeral. he tries to get rid of the book so many times and every time it reappears on ashe's bedside table the next morning. i think there was like. an IMMEDIATE rift between them. ashe is. old enough to understand what happened and since the possession was only partial i do think he remembers it. but hes not old enough to really understand why. why everything is so different now, how to process grief, why his dad is treating him so different now etc. probably goes. very nonverbal for a while. mark is a fucking wreck with grief and fear and anger and confusion and he stops going to work. they gave him a bit of a grace period due to the circumstances but eventually he got fired and couldnt get a new job and he thought about just taking ashe and moving out of that house out of that neighborhood maybe out of the city. but everything was too expensive and now he's got a 12 yr old who needs to eat and keeps growing out of his clothes and hasnt been to school in a year and a half and !!!!!!

so he starts. villain work. i dont think he really means to at first he might just. shut down a security camera here and there and make the lights flicker in a gas station and if there are a few extra snacks in his pockets whos to say. maybe he eventually tries to do hired gun work for some bigger villains and then moves to solo jobs and then gets picked up by overlord. (personally i think the overlord job was still somewhat new at the beginning of pd. maybe only like. a couple months to a year max)

ANYWAY he listens to vanessa carlton and thats just canon but i also think he likes shitty scifi movies and goes fishing for fun and finds being out in the woods relaxing (again. cabin) . and he does all the dad things in the car that we've talked about a bunch. and hes so so so paranoid and afraid all the time but he expresses that through anger but it comes from a place of love bc he loves ashe so much and doesnt want anything to hurt him ever and he just wants to keep him safe. head in hands. his methods are not good but also its all he knows how to do and i think he desperately just wants ashe to be happy and he wants to see him smile (even though it fucking hurts because he has his moms smile and her laugh and he looks so much like her when hes happy) and . take him on a weekend trip to the lake again. i think there was a moment halfway through season 1 where he saw how happy ashe was with pd and thought "maybe this is good maybe i can let him be a normal kid for a while" and then william dies and ashe gets shot and overlord has a hit on their heads and he doubles down because thats the kind of shit that happens if he lowers his guard for even a second!!!!!!!!!!! ughhhhhhhhh im insane.

um. also when he was just starting out villain work tide was still doing like active hero work and not a mentor yet and they were like rivals. smile. ("ive fought tide dozens of times and hes never spoken to me like that" << never going to forget this btw). i think tide was the one to tell him what happened at the end of season 1 . because. again. he was UNCONSCIOUS FOR THAT WHOLE THING. i think tide went to visit him in prison before he got depowered and told him everything.

[shiftingtomydrs]

descendants rant

Ok idk how to do this so ill just start with myself (or better my parent)

Bcs we all know im a whore for op characters and I really didn’t wanna go basic and just be mals sister or smth I decided to put wanda aka scarlet witch into this universe (basically after the whole no more mutants thing she was banned into the universe by dr strange and professor x or smth yk idk and she tried to get back and that caused some trouble so she was put on the isle of the lost) haha my dad is hades btw but I don’t know it, my mum doesn’t know him either it was more of a ons gone wrong situation

Nowww some stuff about me, my name is scarlet pietra maximoff (yes after Pietro) and im 16 in the first movie. I basically have my mums powers but cant use them on the isle obviously soo idk that I have them until i get to auradon. Also wanda is more like her comic version but since idk the comic events bcs I haven’t read them there are probably inaccuracies lmao. I speak sokovian and exclusively sokovian with my mum and its my first language but English with everyone else. I have red hair in the first movie (but like scarlet red not ginger) and then in the 2nd at the start I have dark auburn / brown hair and in the third I have like dark red hair with like black roots? Idk how to describe it. In the first and 2nd movie I have like red eyes (not in a creepy way) and in the 3rd I get blue eyes, ill say why later.  My main color is red yk scarlet witch and shit and idk what else to say haha but feel free to ask questions

My s/o is ben aka beasty boy (fr I started calling him that before I found out uma calls him that soo yeah I thought I was onto smth only to find out im not the first one who came up with that) and hes the same basically except he also speaks French (I love french speaking men and beauty and the beast takes part in France originally so sue me) idk the timeline is pretty much the same as in the movies except the whole breakup thing at the start of the 2nd movie doesn’t happen

Plot of movie 1: I go with all the other vks (its just 4 but ok) to auradon but except like 1 month to the coronation like in the movies it’s for the whole school year (idk when the coronation was but id say like June or smth) soo from august on. Since my mum is kinda yk abandoning me and being a shit parent bcs shes still grieving and some shit I basically was always around the other 4. Then once there everything kinda plays out like it does in the original movie except for my powers embarrassing me around ben haha idk I think its funny to have my powers go cray cray when im around him (also we dream of each other before we meet bcs *soulmates* but like without seeing faces and stuff). Then mal comes up with the whole love spell thing but it’s a bit different, it only works if the person casting the spell loves the person theyre casting it on (idk I needed an excuse for why mal would let me cast the spell) soo yeah I do the spell and then I basically take mals place for a bit. The whole parent day thing comes up (in the zoom thing they do with the villains my mum doesn’t show up tho) and audreys grandma still grabs mal and stuff and my powers kinda work subconsciously and yk pull them apart and make chad fall into the sleep thing so then everyone hates us (especially me) again and I feel terrible. Coronation day, same thing, love spell gets dissolved bla bla bla. Jane takes the wand, I take the wand from jane, maleficent comes and I give the wand to mal and mal gives it to the fairy godmother, maleficent freezes everyone. Now it strays from the movie basically mal fails to turn maleficent into a lizard like in the movies and she gets also like frozen then I come in and save the day and then fall into like a small coma bcs my powers feed on my life force / energy yk and that was too much. But then I wake up again.

Movie 2: beginning is the same except I replace mal as yk future queen but mal still feels overwhelmed and misunderstood and runs away after the picnic scene (its me and her in the scene, I replace ben in that one). Basically i find out and tell evie and she tells ben and they convince me to stay put while they go get mal bcs yk the coronation thing was scary and im not the most popular over there atm. Ben gets captured, the boys get me to make the wand bcs printing it takes too long, we go back to the isle and we save ben. I use my powers but not that much yk just I know my boundaries. Fast forward to cotillion, uma still spells ben, she turns into a sea monster and I start idk fighting her but since I used so much of my powers the day before already to make the wand and in the fight so yk im nearing the edge of too much. Mal turns into a dragon, ben jumps into the water, does a less y/n pick me version of his speech, uma goes, mal turns back but doesn’t have the big purple dress moment, just a small purple dress moment (like not the big ass gown but more of a cocktail party dress) bcs theres no way shell steal my moment haha

Movie 3: same thing the whole time basically except that when Audrey shows up and spells ben, I go after him immediately and the boys find me while they search for ben in the woods. Mal still gets hades ember (and finds out im her sister during it) and also still promises uma that she’ll free the villains but since shes not the future queen in my dr she doesn’t have jurisdiction to push that through and when I tell that to mal and uma and that I cant just do that uma gets angry and leaves like in the movie. Also since imo the whole ‘we’re not evil anymore and all are happy to go to auradon’ plot doesn’t happen in my dr bcs its stupid haha. In the end I fight with Audrey and get my wandavision scarlet witch transformation moment and yk basically shes agatha and im wanda (she not only took maleficents wand and the crown in my dr but also the darkhold which is still like a dark magic book but without the corruption part, its kinda like the ring from lotr, it corrupts everyone except the owner yk so I don’t get corrupted if I use it but Audrey does) and I absorb hades ember during that thing (Audrey is holding it) which gives me *drum roll* blue eyes. In the end the exchange program will be continued but yk not the barrier lifted bcs the villains are still villains and wanna get revenge (I believe in character development but that whole plot was just stupid af on Disney part sorry not sorry).

some random shit:

i do cheer in auradon in the 2nd movie

i have a friend from my cr i scripted in whos the kid of sisu from raya and the last dragon

my mum and i live in a little cabin on the isle (kinda like the one at the end of wv)

i write music (i have a playlist with songs ive written in my dr if anyone is interested)

i cant swim based just entirely on the fact that the enchanted lake scene in movie 1 can still happen lmao

soo thats it feel free to ask questions (really ask questions, i want questions doesnt matter if ive already answered it or you think its stupid) it got a teeny tiny bit long but who cares lmao

[star-glass-coffee]

I want rise angst (even tho it’s not good for me)

K So like what if theyre in a battle n wtv and they think it’s over g/n reader makes eye contact with Leo as they get stabbed from behind and then all the boys are like oh shit :O and run to them.

Extra points for excessive swearing and panic and stumbling over words Cus poor lee doesn’t know how to help and he looks to donnie but donnies just as lost as they’re tryna patch up the wound

Extra extra points if leader survives and they wake up later to greeting from ol blue (relationships can be crushing or platonic Idm just throw everything you’ve got at me. KILL ME WITH IT. Sry if this is a lot just do whatever feels easiest to u Lol I’m not actually picky)

(Yes the angst I’ve been craving 😈 finally, ima change it up to crushing Leo) but just to be clear I never had the time to watch rottmnt all the way through so ima make up a fight 🤭

It’s been at least three hours since April called you guys up, saying that the foot clan is taking prisoners at her job and she needs help

The turtles quickly got into action as you tried to stay behind, just trying to have a day off from fight after fight but they didn’t let that happen

“Tell me why again? Today was my only day off and now I’m stuck fighting Donnie’s killer robot!!” You yell blocking the sharp arm away from your face

“For the last time I’m sorry! How was I suppose to know the foot clan was going to have a control device! Can’t a man live with his killer robot friend?”

“No!”

Raph takes his enemies out easily as he helps Mickey, most of the foot soldiers not backing off as the oldest looks around concerned

“There must be thousands of them, we have to get the citizens out of here!”

April nods as she helps the unconscious customers away, Raph and Mickey teaming up with Donnie as the attack the hoards

You get stuck with the machine, hitting everywhere with your weapon as it has no damage, sweat going down your head as you duck down bawling

“I hate you Donnie! I just wanted a day off!!” You say whining before kicking at the legs, the robot grabbing your arm as it lifts you up.

Leo quickly defeats three of the foot clan members as he goes to your side, kicking its head as it drops you to the ground

“Fear not y/n! Your favorite ninja is here to save the day!” He says kinda unsure as he grabs you and runs, the robot continuing its chase as you scream

“Favorite I thought I was your favorite!!”

“You will be if you turn your machine off!” You yell at Donnie as the turtle clicks his remote control, trying to override the system as the robot glitches crazily

Leo and you getting cornered as he puts you down, both of you getting ready to attack as he pulls you close

“After this lets grab a bite to eat, how does Johnny dough sound?~” Leo says flirtatious as you smile grabbing one of his katanas

“Not the time Lenard! We gotta make it out of this first”

“Okay but after?”

Donnie quickly presses all the buttons as sweat goes down his face, quickly trying to disarm the robot before it hurts you both, Raph and Mickey getting off the rest of the clan as they sigh exhausted

“Please stop flirting it just gets me sweatier!” He yells at you both as the robot closes in, you and Leo putting in a serious face as you get ready

The robots red eyes twitching as it’s limbs shake, pulling up its sharp claws as static comes from its mouth, slowly approaching as you look at it nervously

“It’s now or never y/n.”

“Trust me I know!” You yell as you both go to attack the thing, hearing it click for a second as Leo hits it

but it just pukes out black smoke, falling tot he ground with its arm raised as you and Leo look at it confused

“D-did I hit it to hard?”

you look up confused as Raph holds the control, it smashed in his hand as Donnie looks at him gasping

“You coudnt so that in the first place!” You yell annoyed as you give Leo back his katana, Donnie holding the broken remote as he whines

“This took me weeks to perfect! You monster!” He yells at Raph as the tall turtle scratches his neck laughing

you just sigh as you walk up to the three, Leo following closely behind as his arm goes over your shoulder

“Well looks like we survived dons robot after all… now I remember someone owing me a date?” He says smugly as you roll your eyes before laughing

“Sure fine, but your definitely buying”

Leo lightens up at this as he hugs your waist, his cheeks flushed as he smiles wide, the others looking at you with rolling eyes as they follow

“Get a room please, I’m trying to I mourn…” Donnie says heartbroken as he holds the broken controller, April patting his shoulder as you all walk away together from the scene

this was kinda easy…. No one got hurt and there’s still time to spare..

You hear a click behind you as you go to look, before meeting Leo’s eyes as the turtle goes to say something

“Prince Leo to the res-“

Before he can say anything you feel a immediate pain through your stomach, Leo’s eyes looking at you horrified as the turtles do as well

your eyes falling down to it as the metal forearm of the robot goes through you, it’s sharp edge barley sticking out as blood vastly drops down

The arm getting pulled back as blood splashes Leo’s face, the robot glitching again as it falls down dead

You join the thing as you fall tot he ground holding your stomach in pain as you scream, tears going down your face as you see the bloody puddle your creating

The turtles quickly to your side as Raph picks up you slowly, hearing your screams of pain as he puts his hand in the wound

Bloody screams are made as Leo feels his face, looking down at you as the turtle breaths loudly

Roans hand now covered in blood as he tries to stop the bleeding, Donnie by his side as the turtle takes His mask off, trying to apply it to your wound as April yells at him

the muffled yells of everyone scaring Leo as his ears rings, before he snaps out of it as you yell in pain, he joins your side with everyone as Mickey still stands afraid

“W-what do I do April! What do I do!” Leo yells as the girl shakes her head, going to his, your cheek as he eyes glaze with tears

“How am I suppose to know! You said the robot was off Donnie!”

“Give me a fucking moment! Raph move your hand!”

“Y/n stay awake! Don’t close your eyes! Raph move your hand now!” April yells as the turtle doesn’t move, his hand pressing harder on your wound as you scream

“Raph!” Leo yells as he grabs the arm, Raph quickly looking down as his breath goes wild, moving his hand as Donnie ties his mask to your stomach

“No! P-please!” You yell screaming from pain as Donnie pulls your arms down, blood all over his chest as you yell

you squirm your feet everywhere as you try and hit Donnie away, the turtle applying more pressure to your wound as blood gushes out still

Mikey crying heavily as he looks away, about to hyperventilate as April runs to him, her arms covered in blood as she talks with the small turtle

“Why isn’t it stopping! She’s loosing to much blood!” Donnie yells as Leo pulls your hair back, most sticking to your face as you groan screaming into your lips

”I-I dammit! It won’t stop!” Donnie yells as he lifts up his arm, whipping away his sweat as blood goes all over his forehead, Leo’s arms now stained with dry and new blood as he tries to calm you

“Y/n hey! I-it’s going to be okay! Donnie’s got you!” He says reassuringly as he gulps down his tears, some falling down onto your face as you hiccup, your eyes feeling heavy as you feel the sharp pain subside

“She’s closing her eyes! Raph lift her!”

the turtle listens as he lifts you up, looking at your back confused before his eyes widen, the wound behind you wider then the other as he can see the muscles move

he feels his spit go up his throat as he gags, April seeing as well as she shakingly pulls out her phone, Mickey turning around to see as he screams loudly, April pulling him away front he scene as you feel your vision go blurry

The screaming and crying of the turtles slowly leaving your eyes as you close your eyes hearing Leo’s voice try and pull you back before you go to sleep

”y/n! Fuck call splinter!”

Mostly everything a Blair as your eyes open slowly seeing Raph carry you as he runs in the sewers, you close them again as you see the sight before you

splinter holding your head up as the turtles look at you worried, Leo’s face the most horrified as he watches from a distance, feeling hands go all over you as you see different kinds of mutants with doctor clothes

You end up falling asleep again as you groan, waking up again as you feel the slight discomfort in your stomach and back, your arm going up to them as you feel a cloth and paper on it

Your eyes widening as you remember the events, quickly sitting up, feeling a draft hit your body as you look around, seeing the lair in front of you

“I-I… where is-“ you go to say before you head someone sniffle next to you, a hand go to your arm as you look, seeing Leo’s face surprised as he drops the plate the food

He rushes to your side as he hugs you tightly, tears falling from his face as you keep your arms up, looking at him confused as you cough embarrassed

“Hi? Why are you hugging me?” You ask as he pulls away, your face lightens as snot and tears drop down his face, the turtle whipping them away as he gasp for air

“We thought you wouldn’t wake up! I’m so glad!” He yells as his face falls to your legs, crying hard into them as you pat his head, feeling guilt rush over you

“I’m sorry Leo…” you say smiling at him as the turtle still cries into your legs. Looking up a little as he sniffles

”I’m sorry, I-if I paid closer attention you wouldn’t be hurt!” Leo says as you raise an eyebrow thinking back the robot as you shake your head

“It isn’t your fault Leo.” You say holding his cheek as you wipe away the tears, Leo looking at you as you comfort him

“B-but if I-“

he doesn’t finish as you pull him in for a kiss, Leo’s face going red as his tears stop completely, looking at you with wide eyes before he kisses back

you two staying like that for a second as you pull away, smiling at leo as the turtle looks at you before giving you a smile

“Leo”

“Yeah?” The turtle says excited at your next words as you smile wide at him

“Your on my stomach..”

He quickly pulls away as you groan, holding your wound annoyed as you growl

“Why does it hurt so much still, it feels so itchy!!” You yell as Leo nods, laughing s little as he rubs his head

”yeah… we kinda had to use Donnie’s mask as a bandage for a while… sand he has bad hygiene skills”

“I can tell it feels like I have dandruff in my stomach” you whine as Leo sits by your side, smiling up at you happily as his arm pulls you close to him

“Now that your awake and my Oscar award performance is done… date?”

“Sure Leo, I can use some food right now.” You say happily as he pulls you in for another kiss, you both enjoying it this time before gasps are heard

”my beautiful satin sheets! Blue you are grounded!”

“I have an amazing hygiene routines!”

“Since when did you two become a couple!”

“Awwwww. True love”

“Didn’t she like just wake up?”

[quijabored]

SPOILERS FOR UP TO EP6 S5 OF BUNGO STRAY DOGS

HERE WE ARE AGAIN

It's been far too long for not watching BSD, but in my defense I've been playing bungo tales, drawing more bsd, (Dazai doodles will hopefully be up soon? If theyre not theyll be up tommorow) and I've also been in the midst if reading and writing for a book I'm working on.

So long story short, I haven't had much time to watch it, BUT IM BACK

AND DEAR GODS DO I HAVE TO SAY THINGS

FIRST OFF, *AKUTAGAWA*

FIGURED OUT WHERE THE NECK SLASH PANNEL CAME FROM, *BUT WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE LIKE THIS*

MY SON, MY BABY, MY WILL TO LIVE, WHY THE FUCK DID YOU GET HURTTTTT

HES NOT DEAD THOUGH I DONT THINK

THEY HAD ME IN THE FIRST HALF BUT THEN THE VAMPIRISM SHIT STARTED HAPPENING AND I WAS LIKE "OH THANK GOD"

If he does die I'm actually gonna start sobbing

I kid you not I went outside of my room and was like "HES- HES NOT DEAD. I KNOW THIS BECAUSE- UH-"

While like on the verge of tears

IT WAS SUPER FUN THOUGH

STILL A FUCK YOU FUKUCHI

HATE THAT GUY FR, I GOT SO EXCITED WHEN THEY FINALLY GOT THE PAGE BUT I KNEW IT WASNT OVER JUST YET BECAUSE THE ABRUPT ENDING WAS TOO ODD AND I LOVE CALLING THINGS IN SHOWS BUT NOT LIKE THIS MAN

ALSO AKUTAGAWA BACKSTORY KINDA????

HIS YOUNGER SELF LOOKS SO DEAD INSIDE PLEASE I WANT TO PAT HIS HEAD :((((

He would kill me if I got too close BUT SHHH

AND THEN BRAM????

I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM

HES SO SILLY LIKE AAAAAA

IM GONNA GET TO HIM IN A MINUTE BUT I GOTTA TALK ABOUT TACHIHARA AND JOUNO FIRST

FIRST TACHIHARA

I KNEW HE WAS GONNA LOSE THE FIGHT AGAINST FUKUCHI, BUT GOD DAMN IT DID HE HAVE TO USE HIS STUPID TIME SWORD???

I HATE THE TIME SWORD SO MUCH IM GONNA MOP THE FLOOR WITH FUKUCHIS BLOOD

OH OH ALSO ALSO

TECCHOU AND JOUNO ARE *NOT* STRAIGHT BRO LIKE AINT NO WAY

I TOOK A SCREENSHOT FOR IT, THE LINE WAS, I KID YOU NOT, "Stop jabbing me in the ass!"

*MY MOTHER WALKED IN WHEN IT WAS PLAYING*

Most horrifying experience I've ever had, she just slowly walked away

ALSO THE FACT THAT JOUNO WAS LIKE "Wait till the other guys and Tecchou hear about this!"

Like why didn't you lump them together 🤨 kinda fruity if you ask me 🤨🤨🤨

I'm delusional

OH AND JOUNO BEING LIKE "You made the mistake of showing me how to care for the life of others"

LIKE AAAAAA???? I LOVE MY SON

ALSO HIS ABILITYS COOL ASF

And then Akutagawa bit him

SPEAKING OF AKU

I WAS STARVED FOR LIKE THE ENTIRE SEASON BEFORE I SAW HIM AGAIN, *AND THEN HE GETS ALMOST KILLED??? HELLO?????*

Seeing him w/o his coat was super fun though, I can finally figure out how his shirt looks for my artings

Makes me really sad how he sees everything as a test for Dazais approval though :(

Knowing he's gonna die due to a lung disease hurts, like I knew he was sick and stuff but still :(

WHEN THEY WERE LIKE "Im gonna kill you Atsushi! RAAAHHH!!!" AND THEY STARTED RUNNING AT EACHOTHER I WAS LIKE OH FUCK YEAH THEYRE GONNA TRICK HIM

And then Fukuchi went back in time.

ALSO TACHIHARA BEING LIKE RAAAAHHH IM A PORT MAFIA MEMBER NOW RAAHHHH LIKE I LOVE HIM

AND AND AND NOW FOR MY FAVORITE SEGMENT

BRAM AND AYA!!!

THEYRE SO SILLY OH MY GOSH I LOVE THEM

Imagine putting your pink children earbuds into a Gothic Victorian man's earlobe, ant other person from that time would've called it witchcraft

THE WHOLE RADIO THING I LOVE IT

"Im trying to sleep." LIKE ANY TIME HIS COFFINS OPEN I LOVE HIM

I just have to hope nothing bad happens cuz everyone's like on the brink of death right now

KUNIKIDAS NOT GONNA DIE, I KNOW THAT FOR A FACT (If I turn out wrong by the time the series ends Im crying)

I love how hes yapping about old stories and how he's super strong and then Ayas just like "The huh??"

I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

OH ALSO

WHEN JOUNO WAS IN THE MEETING WITH EVERYONE AND HE STOPPED BEFORE FUKUCHI LEFT THE ROOM I WAS LIKE "HAHAHA ITS OVER FOR YOUUUU"

AND WHEN HE TRIED TO PLAY DUMB I WAS LIKE HUH??? AND RHEN HE WAS LIKE "I knew before this, Fukuchi." AND I WAS LIKE CALLED IT

I love bsd I love bsd I love bsd I love bsd I-

TERUKOS SO SILLY I LOVE HER SO MUCH

ALSO RANPO AND POE ARE SO SILLY LIKE YOURE TELLING ME POE WROTE A BOOK FOR RANPO AND THE AGENCY TO HAVE A MEETING IN JUST BECAUSE HE ASKED??? I LOVE THEM

THERE HASNT BEEN MUCH TECCHOU CONTENT BUT WAAA WAAAA WAAAAA I LOVE HIMMMMM

HES SO SILLY AND ADORBS

Not as much of an adorbie worbie as Akutagawa tho, no one can top my son

Love Mori when hes not being a creep, I still hate him but his character interests me to say the least and Ill analyze him further eventually.

OH

I THOUGHT I WAS ALMOST DONE BUT NO

DAZAI AND FYODOR ARE FUCKING INSANE

I love both of them.

POOR SIGMA BRO HES WATCHING THEM WILLINGLY PUT POISON INTO THEIR BODYS???

IS DAZAI GONNA LIKE USE HIS HEARTBEAT SHIT TO SLOW DOWN THE THING OR IS NIKOLAI GONNA BE LIKE "Yeah Im gonna help you because I want my bestie to die :3"

NIKOLAI CALLING FYODOR BESTIE IS WHAT GIVES ME LIFE I LOVE THEM

I didn't see a chess board when Dazai and Fyodor were in their weird bubble cells, but Fyodor called Dazai his chess buddy, so I'm 90% sure they just kinda...

"I move my rook to E5."

"You dont think I saw that coming? Knight E5."

"Hm, whatever. I already planned this out anyways. Queen, E5"

"Hah, youre only just starting to fall into my traps. Ill play the waiting game. Pawn, D3"

BUT LIKE IN THEIR HEADS

HELLO???? THEY??? HOW???

I love playing chess sm though, very fun game would reccomend

I play chess with my therapist actually :3

It's really neat, live laugh my therapist bro

I THINK THATS IT BUT IF I REMEMBER ANYTHING ELSE ILL SAY IT LATER!!

LIVE LAUGH ASAGIRI BRO

[safetyobstacles]

starting o segredo na floresta now, im either gonna finish this in a week or its gonna take months good luck me

update - i love joui

joui, its a little cloudy out, roll for sanity. joe, you stubbed your toe, roll sanity. joui did you just frown???????? roll a sanity test with disadvantage. that was cool joui, you gain 1 sanity. just kidding somewhere in the netherlands a child tripped and scraped their knee, you lose 10 sanity.

i think im going to put my updates under the cut instead of spamming posts B) beware of spoil

UPDATE

if cellbit takes liz or thiago from me ill never forgive him

this bar has to be its own paranormal entity, thiago would have died if the gun had a bullet in it and cristopher nearly got knifed to death in their first fight loll

EP 2

npc thiago about to be the most useless mf ever i swear if he dies to a stray ant or something ill cry just put him in a box for safe keeping

what would i do without the mental image of joui dropkicking every monster he sees

liz why are you finger painting with the ooze monsters remains and why did it give you 1 hp ?????? NEVERMIND

EP 3

RACCOON bro has 8 health but he sure is happy

faz um teste de sanidade

when i said thiago was gonna die to an ant i didnt actually mean kill him with giant spiders

cristopher no please dont climb a tree these are spiders they can climb nah bro cristopher is dead af im gonna miss him. bro cellbit just kill him already bros dead 2 hp

damn

ep 4

at this rate luba doesnt even need to roll sanity we all know hes gonna fail anyways joui's having the worst two days of his life

jesus christ i just woke up i cant handle this shit cesar's punching a hole in my itty bitty heart bones

please stop talking about leticio's cacetinho

EP 5 how long is too long for a tumblr post btw

the starting soon screen replaced cris with arthur notlikethis

cellbit is far too happy about them going to this house i hate it i hate it

i would like for them to leave a casa now :))) they got gregório time to go :) DAMN JOUI JUST GOT STEAMROLLED BY THAT ZOMBIE ROLLED A 99 VS CELLS 1 jesus christ thiago LOL NO WAY GREGÓRIO IS DEAD AF bro was just taking a nap in the car and this is what he gets

that was horribly stressful its 3 am how am i supposed to sleep after that

to be fair, if i was rodolfo and liz didnt use the tazer, i would have just dragged gregório in front of arthur and killed him in right in front of his face soo...

ROLLED 100 LOOOOOOOOOOOOL a caverna

COOL GUY ALERT HOPE HE DOESNT KILL BRULIO HAHAhahaaa

EP 6 I HAVE GREAT ANXIETY THIS MESTRE GUY IS ABOUT TO KILL HALF THE SQUAD

luba i know youve been rolling absolute dog shit the last 5 episodes but this one really counts buddy brulio :(

most stressful hour of youtube ive ever sat through i cant believe they all lived

A PORTA FORTE

EP 7 im so glad they're going back to the house im so happy ive never wanted anything else this is great nothing could go wrong in this house nothing

7 episodes in and ive just now realised that he keeps talking about circles and spirals and those have significance with a certain element and now i want them to leave carpazinha go back home forget this ever happened

undressing with the homies in the haunted basement next to a dead old man

not thiago canonically talking to a bookshelf after complaining about joui's whispering to his shotgun

THIS GRAVE IS SO COMPLICATEDDDD I BET ITS FUCKING EMPTY THEYRE ARGUING ABOUT HOW TO "knock out" AN OLD LADY AND ITS PROBABLY JUST WORMS AT THE BOTTOM OF THE GRAVEEE

this whole graveyard scene has me in tears thiago staring at nothing while they try to get him to unmute, old guy on the phone, joui picking up the old lady i just laughed so hard i feel ill

the one time joui doesnt fail a roll he loses 6 SANITY?? 8 SANITY?????????????? SENHORA VOCE TA BEM????? YOU JUST CHOKED HER OUT JOUI WAIT SHES GONNA DIE??????????? SHES GOING TO DIE???????????? THE GASOLINE IN THE MOUTH??

grounded from the shotgun for 1 week

EP 8

Thiago's pants are still fucked up from last episode btw

about to have a tpk over alchohol poisoning

if cesar survives this campaign hes gonna put as many points possible into forgery

a caverna im goign fuckign crazy the god of tdeath pr spomething is in this cave theyre gonna walk inside trip on a pebble and get eaten by hundreds of tiny cave beetles

Victor is absolutely about to get his face eated by a spider and/or be swallowed by the cave

ok but santo berço looks kinda cool like i would live there

EP 9 he just (re?)released osnf merch but i refuse to be spoiled by absolutely anything ive done so well i will not be tainted by cesar's really cool green on black long sleeve

wait i love the gatekeeper its a shame this town is probably a hallucination and theyre all actually slowly dying in the middle of the forest GIANT COWS I LOVE THE GIANT COWS WITH REGULAR SIZED HEADS

????????????????????????????????FELPS??????????????????????

buttery butter

thiago this is why you should have quit smoking

?????FELPS?????????

EP 10 so if thiago hadnt used the lighter would felps still be alive, probably just would have died later B)

bro joui has got to buy new dice this is crazy

this is gonna be the average 2 star motel experience BRO JUST DABBED ON CESAR liz is about to get bodied by the hallway ghosts this is just like a regular motel HUH UHHHHHHH

no joui kill the hotel guy joui kill the hotel guy joui kill the hotel guy joui kill the hotel guy joui kill the hotel guy joui kill the hotel guy

mom i want to go home i dont want to stay in santo berço anymore jesus christ

EP 11 how am i supposed to just start the next episode after that i think the mental image of brulio beating arthurs skull in is burned into my brain space

sandwich sandwich

i love the giant cows so much i want one GIANT CHICKEN LAY GIANT EGG I LOVE THE GIANT CHICKEN intimidating the human sized pig

EP 12 still thinking about how cellbit thought new zealand was so close to europe, he was so sure of it that he was making me unsure of where i knew new zealand was

both times thiago was played by cellbit some horrific shit happened so with arthur being an npc this episode im prepared for the worst also this starting soon screen is fucking wicked

are you telling me joui's max sanity is now 12 bros been losing it for so long hes stuck like this joui is the "damn, you live like this?" meme

CELLBO ROLEPLAYED TOO HARD HIS HEADSET JOINED AS AN ENEMY AND BEAT HIS SETUP

"that sounds like a book title" bro let the intrusive thought win

baby nidere

no way the cow has been suffering this whole time ill cry

theyre about to rp their way into an angry medieval mob when they get found with the body of the dead gatekeeper B) does santo berço have dungeons, bc if they do thats where theyll be sleeping tonight nvm the gatekeeper has demons inside him sorry joui HUh no way they killed the gatekeeper dude wtf

EP 13 chat's a bit excited to go in the cave guys if anyone reads this what am i supposed to do once i finish this season. what do you mean i just have to go onto desconjuração. what do you mean i have to leave this story behind. please let me keep all the characters in this one.

THE CAVE MAP IS COOOOOOL THE LIGHT MOVES WITH THE MINER everyone struggling to flip their characters 5 mins into the cave made me laugh so hard i had to pause to breathe

I LOVE MOLES DUDE THEYRE SO COOL ok but i dont love this many moles BRO I LOVE MOTHS TOO THIS IS AWESOME wait no i hate bats THIS MOTH IS SUFFERINGGGGG

THE SUCC hes about to kill them all with the Succ out of spite thiago never mock one of cellbit's monsters again ARTHUR ZIUM

door door door door door door door door door door the gatekeeper is alive???

ih arthur nah dude let go of cesar :(((((((((((( gotta hand it to arthur hes survived two of these situations now get it, hand it to him, CAUSE HE LOST HIS FUCKING ARM WTF HIS ARM DETATCH LIKE A LEGO sorry i vote we still kill the gatekeeper just in case just to be safe

EP 14 did cellbit have a past traumatic experience with a vacuum is that why he created the Succ

agatha?????? bro agatha's life sucked big pp

every time cellbit says hes excited for something i grow more afraid

if they kill and eat the gatekeeper would he also taste delicious just wondering

i think i might know the reason why 12 sanity joui has a funky grey form but 55 sanity thiago doesnt, but maybe im crazy nevermind thiago had the funky grey within him this whole time wait does that mean hes gonna die if santo berço dies DAMN

joui just really wants to see thiago naked also hes just blatantly stealing arthur's knife he really is losing all his sanity that was possibly the most unconvincing "nada" ive ever heard

EP 15 before i start a new episode i always go to the vod on twitch and watch the memes first so i can go "hehe" for five minutes, and then go "oh no" for the next 4 hours

hypothetically, if joui managed to get the symbol on him before anyone noticed would he have just lost all 12 of his sanity and gone mad cuz that would have been crazy :,)

this is it cellbit is finally going to kill npc thiago joui is so very happy about his shotgun i thought maybe he was getting better but hes whispering to it again

alright whats up with cellbit and the outwards opening doors because i swear i have never seen a door that opens out instead of in, are all the doors like that in his home these doors are made to have creatures attack from inside ih i just checked like 3 times to make sure i was on the right episode lmaoooo

"pobre martha" DAAAAAAMN MARIANA ICE COLD

one buff woman vs all 3 equipe kelvin who will win (1 woman) crazy that equipe kelvin managed to accomplish what took our group 9 episodes to get to lool they even got the leticio cacetinho dlc, but they did skip the spider boss fight and the entire house level

THE BLACKSMITH IS MIGUEL AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

EP 16 the joui, liz, and arthur cosplay look like theyre going to a nice dinner meanwhile thiago, kenan, and cesar just look homeless

idk if thiago's making it out of this one :,) maybe we just take thiago's weapons its not like he can do much to help anyways kenan wants to skin him listen brother i dont think thats gonna work im at the 52 min mark and cellbit is acting sus af the blacksmith is about to appear and stomp them all or something

joui would roll a 99 and nearly knife cesar and liz is trying so hard not to metagame her way to the explosive backpack loving how trigger happy joui is right now go on guys give him more explosives what the worst that could happen

is kenan also a wellspring do they have to kill him cuz thats gonna be kind of awkward and on that note since thiago has the symbol on him does that make him a wellspring too ill cry i will cry

NOT JOUI APOLOGIZING FOR LYING ABOUT HIS SAMURAI ANCESTRY

damn that scene between joui, liz, and thiago was the best in the entire season

i would like to take this moment before they all get swallowed alive by some horrible sludge tentacle monster to proclaim my absolute hatred of Santo Berço. I know i said at the end of episode 8 that i thought it looked cool but im over it ive moved past that point in my life i hate Santo Berço

BIG GOOEY MEATBALL

"the people are happy here!" says the blacksmith as he currently has 5 people forcefully locked up for decades that have gone mad with probably no way of ever regaining their sanity i just realised miguel and the old blacksmith fucked and had a kid

final boss aboutta come crawling out of the meatball please stop trying to skin thiago the symbol isnt gonna come off

THAT WAS SICK AF THEYRE ALL DEAD AS HELL

???????????????????? "kenan you have one last sane move before i take your character and throw him off a cliff"

:(

post i made after i finished osnf (made like 3 days later because i was so so so so so so so so so so sad)

https://www.tumblr.com/safetyobstacles/739056899257942016/i-finished-osnf-after-almost-2-months-and-you-know?source=share

[hausofmamadas]

NUGGETS OF BENJAMAYO | aka just gif dump of my madness about 1 measly scene

✴︎

For Narcoctober's Day of Visuals - Oct 6th 5th (posted on the 6th cause I generally suck and my life is a mess) leftover from Day 1's fic

Okayokayokay so I made so many extra gifs for my Benjamayo fanfic that were theoretically set aside days ago for the Narcoctober Day of Visuals (I know that much like “fetch” Benjamayo is not a thing but much like the legendary Toaster Strudel heiress, Gretchen Weiners, I am very much trying to make it happen) and legit thought the prompt was Oct 6, not Oct 5 but I already have an amnesty day post technically I haven’t gone to sleep yet …? So technically yesterday is still today regardless of the date...? and I can’t not share these bc LET ME DO TELL YOU, I'VE THOUGHT ABOUT THIS INTERACTION FOR LITERAL YEARS NOW so without furtherado

The scene in question: Benjamin schmoozing at Dina’s wedding, shaking babies and kissing hands, spots Mayo and decides, fuck it- he’s in a good mood! Little social butterfly, precioso is feelin’ himself. It’s a wedding, love is in the air! Why not take a moment to go flirt chat with Mazatlan’s very own Camarón King of actual sex Not Giving A Fuck About Anything Pretty Much Ever, Ismael El Mayo Zambada and this is how it starts off. First, Mayo asks the waiter?/waitress? if the shrimp in the shrimp cocktail is fresh but manages to pose it in the most sexy way, it’s actually borderline disturbing just how fucking hot this man is asking about fucking shrimp of all fucking things then again, passion in one’s professional pursuits is pretty hot …? But like no, I really don’t think that’s what’s happening here

Then Mín, little pep in his step, La Reina del Baile, glowing even more than the bride herself, strolls up and basically is like, “Bish, that’s a spiffy new hat. You buy that with the money you made movin’ shit through my plaza? cause there’s more where that came from if you’re interested in a sugar daddy🤭”

At which point Mayo is lowkey like🫣 oh god, what do I say now. Is he trying to strong arm me, what’s the angle. I really don’t wanna start shit rn, I’m so full of shrimp, like ngl I don’t even think I could run away without making myself sick and he tries to keep things simpatico but like the extra mile he goes??? This sly mf is smiling at Mín in a way that resembles a little too closely how he smiled at the waiter/waitress. And sure, maybe we can chalk that up to just Mayo a ho. He a May-ho sry, I just– you know I set myself up to spike that ball and I couldn’t not no matter how bad it was sksksksks and Mín rolls with it, he does one of those blind-and-miss-it thousand yard stares which I will devote an entire gif set post to later bc he does it more than once throughout the show and it’s actually devastating and shoots his shot, “pero imagínate que no tuvieras qué”

So anyway, this establishes what? Mayo a May-ho, right. And Mín is lowkey liiiiiiiiiiiiving for this shit bc he thinks he’s got an in. And do you know what tf this savvy, spritely little Drug Lord Dilf-Nymph of Tijuana does????????? something Miguel would never dream of doing in a million years, not just bc he’s homophobic asf and deeply insecure about his entire general essence as a human being, but he doesn’t have a fucking f r a c t i o n of the affable, boyish charm that Mín does HE FUCKING FLIRTS RIGHT BACK. TAKE ONE GOOD GOTDAMN LOOK AT THE GIFS BELOW AND TELL ME HES NOT FLIRTING. YOU DONT FULL-BODY SCAN SOMEONE UP AND DOWN LIKE THEYRE THE FUCKING THANKSGIVING TURKEY AND YOU HAVENT EATEN IN DAYS UNLESS YOU’RE SEXING THEM IN YOUR MINDDKSSKSJWB I MEAMaaaan–

BUT DSKWJWJWIEIWJWJSB THE BEST FUCKING PART ABOUT THIS ENTIRE THING?????????? MAYO IS SO DOWN FOR IT. THE SHIT-EATING GRIN HE GETS ON HIS FACE LIKE MANS IS SO GODDAMN FLATTERED, MANS IS SO ABOUT IT, HES LITERALLY THAT GIRL DAFFYDUCK GIF, ALL BATTING HIS EYELASHES AND UNDRESSING SEDUCTIVELY, OKAY LIKE

WHERE IS THE LIE Spoiler alert: IT’S NOWHERE, THERE IS ONLY TRUTH OKAY and then Mayo does this real cute thing all appealing to the control freak in Mín, saying he likes to be his own boss, “no más que tú sabes” and all that AND THEN, AAAAAAND THEEEEEENNNNNNN FOLKS HE JUST. KEEPS. ON. MF. GRINNING. AS IF HE COULD GRAB MIN BY THE TINY LAPELS OF HIS TINY SUIT AND PLANT A BIG WET ONE RIGHT THERE ON HIM, RIGHT ON THE DANCEFLOOR IN FROMT OF ALL THOSE PEOPLELWKWJW W

and then he has to scramble for something else to say bc he knows good goddamn well that they've been making eyes at each other for far, far too long, so he's like "ohshitohshitohshit ohhhhh look there's Azul, the closest boner killer within reach besides Rayo hey, you know where home is!!!!!" AND THEN MIN, FUCJINGAKSJFNLKQJWELKJN DOES THIS WAY-TOO-INTIMATE HEAD NOD AND SMIRK, THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR COMING TO MY PARTY ERM IMEAN DINA'S WEDDING, IF YOU'RE EVER IN TOWN GIRL CALL ME

NO BUT EVERYONE LITERALLY SHUT UP AND SITDOWN ALL FIVE OF YOU BCTTHENNNNSI;RAJQPO23IJRPOQJIWEFOH THE WAY MAYO SAYS CLARO, AND IT'S THE EXACT WAY I WOULD IMAGINE LIKE HOW HE'D GOODBYE LOVE PAT A ONE NIGHT STAND ON THE SHOULDER AS HE'S OPENING HIS FRONT DOOR FOR THEM TO LEAVE ???????? IDK IDKIDKIDKDA;WOJEF;AOIJ AND THEN THE LITTLE PRIVATE LOOK OF LIKE "idk what the fuck that was but I'm- y'know i really didn't hate it......"

it just- i mean i'm sure we're all in agreement that i'm insane but like what other conclusions am i supposed to draw in the face of this raw, objective evidence

☇

taglist: @narcosfandomdiscord, @narcolini, @ashlingnarcos, @drabbles-mc

[b0d1ly-st3w]

have my postal 1 dude headcanons because hes so meeeeee

tw for mentions of self harm

• hed just barely turned 20 by the time postal 1 happened

• a bit of a mallgoth, really loved nine inch nails and marilyn manson

• had a really bad self harm addiction back in highschool, he was 2 years clean by postal 1

• actually felt so bad for everything hed done, cant even hear fake gunshots without wanting to throw up

• i believe that the demon was responsible for his breakdown, it convinced him that everyone was poisoned and that he was the only one that could save them

• schizophrenic, has hurt himself before because voices convinced him to do so

• shy and selectively mute

• other postal dudes treat him like a kid because of his age (postal 4 dude is his parental figure)

• asshole dad who was never around

• smokes like a chimney, anytime anyone sees him he always seems to have a cigarette in his hand

• great with kids, thats why he couldnt bring himself to hurt them

• the funeral ending was a hallucination (ik thats redux but they are practically the same leave me alone)

• the most traumatised postal dude

• would probs be a mitski stan

• autistic, bites the other postal dudes

• loves cats

• bisexual and in denial (has a fat crush on every single member of nin)

• just starts screaming randomly, but not in a funny way like a genuine terror way

• stares at people with his autism eyes

• wears his sunglasses everywhere

• lives off cheese and vodka (hes like an alcoholic mouse)

• absolutely loves horror movies, gets postal 4 dude to watch them with him

• scared of corkscrew, but corkscrew really likes him and feels the need to protect him

• suffered from anorexia at a young age, sometimes has days where he literally cant eat anything without crying

• people pleaser, changes his entire personality to make people happy

• loves wool sweaters, practically lives in them

• always cold

• drinks to forget

• gets randomly angry for no apparent reason, will start punching the shit out of people and screaming

• against the big light prefers lamps

• will just sit in the corner and listen while people talk

• loves pepperoni pizza

• still has braces

• probably loves hello kitty but will never admit it

• shoplifts literally anytime he goes into a store, steals things for other postal dudes

• would violently sob to real men by mitski

• bullys postal 4 dudes music but actually likes it (can you tell i love the idea of them being friends?)

i added more because ive got so many headcanons for this emo loser <3

• really picky with what he can eat, will spit anything out he doesnt like

• his family where heavily religious, thats why he wears a cross

• can fall asleep literally anywhere

• defos a stoner

• practically lived at korn concerts

• likes hugs but also despises being touched

• corkscrew carries him about everywhere, gives him piggybacks all the time

• either completely stone cold or really giggly and happy, there is no in between

• uses :⁠-⁠) :⁠-⁠P :⁠-⁠O :⁠-⁠( when texting

• probably likes cannibal corpse

• chop suey! by system of a down is his anthem

• spins around in circles to stim, postal 2 guy joins in because funni

• steals peoples jackets

• would be absolutely cracked at hatsune miku project diva

• has a hyperfixation on music and plays bass

• i think he would be really soft spoken most the time

• when hes drunk hes absolutely mayhem, runs around and throws cushions at people

• tried to give himself a stick and poke and got mad when it didnt look good

• if postal 1 was set in the early 2000s i think hed be an emo

• goes nonverbal often, hardly ever speaks

• claustrophobic, will start crying if he feels trapped

• hates parades (unless its a pride one #ally)

• (⁠●⁠_⁠_⁠●⁠) stares at people like this

• tooth gap<3333

• hates wearing bandages around his arms because theyre itchy and uncomfortable

• probably had an entire bag of bandaids on standby

• ik he canonically has sorta short hair but i like to think its really long

• wanted a mohawk

• wears eyeliner but will deny it even though its so obvious

• he did have a girlfriend at one point but she left him because he was strange (autism making him bitchless💀)

• ik this makes no sense but i think it would be funny af if he was scottish, like all the other postal dudes expect him to sound like them but then he starts speaking in the heaviest scottish accent imaginable (and before you say im only saying that because hes ginger im scottish so im actually projecting get it right)

• gave himself so many piercings but half of them closed up

• likes flavoured tea, his fav is peppermint

• would probably have a crush on tyler durden

• not really a hc but imagine him falling asleep on the sofa and postal 4 dude covering him with a nice fluffy blanket and giving him a little kiss on the forehead like dads in movies 😭😭😭

• wanted to be a musician growing up

• would watch the entire saw franchise in one sitting

• postal 4 dude always checks his arms and makes sure hes eaten, but he doesnt get upset with him if he does relapse or doesnt eat because he knows hes trying

• everyone tells him all their drama because they know he wont tell anyone (he knows everything)

• no one is willing to argue with him because he will either start crying or attack them

• probably bipolar

• signed postal 2 guys petition

• probably rabid/j

• really good at art

• scared of seagulls

• hes really lanky and tall

• (⁠;⁠ŏ⁠﹏⁠ŏ⁠) default facial expression

• red is his favourite colour

• hes an anti-shaggin moment/ref

• will just lay on top of people with absolutely no care whatsoever

• really bad at helping others, hed probably awkwardly giggle at someone crying

• he likes stuffed animals, has a whole collection of them because he was never allowed them when he was a kid

• if you asked him his pronouns hed probably bite you (he doesnt understand)

• if demon ever got a physical form all the dudes (excluding 1) would team up and beat its ass

• demon still appears sometimes and even tells 1 what to do, but he does his best not to listen

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TW!! SLIGHT DESCRIPTION OF S/H

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• one time postal 3 dude was just going downstairs to get some water and found 1 on the floor sobbing, hed had an episode and sliced his arm pretty bad, 3 did his best to help and swore he wouldnt tell 4 but he found out anyways

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• hates chocolate cake with every fibre of his being

• paints his nails all the time, comes downstairs every day with a new colour

• one of the dudes got him a copy of pretty hate machine on cd for christmas and it was his most favourite thing for months

• loves little insects, willingly picks them up

• collects so much random shit its insane

i got more

• can never sit in pure silence because there always seems to be noise, but really its all in his head (this is based on some of the tracks from the redux soundtrack as obviously some of them are just unintelligible noise)

• picks at his skin alot

• used to skip school alot, but always did well in tests and exams

• cant swim

• actually really loved school

• salt and vinegar crisps man

• actually tried to quit smoking but failed horribly

• uses internet slang and postal 4 guy has absolutely no fucking clue what hes on about

thats all i got