#in which case like. i'm doin ok i think.

[aeide-thea]

like [in re plastic article i posted earlier] i'm currently wearing one of my fave tees that's, god, i don't know, a good five years old now anyway, and it's a triblend which means it's got some polyester in it, and while i've appreciated the way that's enabled it to straddle use cases over the years—e.g. (1) bicycling to class and then (2) looking like a normal person once i got there—at this point it's starting to pill a little, as poly always inevitably does, and getting rattier and less comfy as a result? and like, i guess i'll try using a fabric shaver on it and see if that helps some, but like. not an issue with 100% cotton tees!

[bluetimeombre]

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Notice

Sometimes, even the big bad wolf needs his calm, in his case, it's you.

[finally I got the request out for introverted reader. I to love this idea, I do genuinly believe Logan would just love someone he could relax with after all the pain he's been through- like him and Kayla in Wolverine which we don't talk about enough. I hope you enjoy, I tried to get it out quicker but i'm working on other little thing for Hugh and Logan, so keep your eyes out. No warnings for this, accept fluff and a little angst cause i'm a sucker for it.]

Logan couldn't pin point the moment he noticed you but once he had, there was no going back.

Everything- everyone- in the mansion was hard to handle. All 100% all the time. Storm, the Professor, even Jean grated him enough of the times. With their insistence he join the team, with the nagging, the missions, the danger rooms, the blah blah blah.

So when he was out for a run, blowing the steam Scott had given him that morning, and he spotted you surrounded by students, huddled by a tree, he paused. He very almost ran into a kid as he did, squinting at you as you practically glowed in the sun.

Was that your mutation? To glow? To capture his attention?

You were showing the kids something, and they all listened, enamoured. As he would be, with your smile, your ... calm.

You caught him staring and faltered. He only crossed his arms over his chest and watched as you tried to continue teaching. Eventually, you set the class on some task and Logan slowly made his way to you.

"Hello Logan," you greeted.

He didn't know why it surprised him you knew his name, you must have been here longer than he had for you to teach. He watched you as you watched the children, noticing how you pulled at the sleeves of your jumper down over your hands. "What are they doin'?" he asked, gesturing to the kids.

"Just learning about life," you mumbled. That was your mutation, a connection the nature, to the trees and the very life that hummed under you.

So very different to him, who took life with the swipe of his claws.

"I'll er, see you," you added before walking away from him.

Logan couldn't shake you for the rest of the day. He walked by your class room later, saying hello to you. He never had before. That night, he found he couldn't sleep and he walked by your bedroom which just so happened to be on his way. The door was open ajar and you were no where to be seen.

You were down in the kitchen, sitting in an armchair by the window with a book in your lap and a steaming how cup of coffee next to you. He approached quietly, watching from the doorway as you were bathed in moonlight.

Eventually, as you went to grab your hot coffee, you spotted him. "Logan?" you spilled a bit over your hand, seething and putting it down. "Sorry, I- I didn't see you there."

He smirked. "Kinda the idea."

He ducked under a counter and pulled out a beer from his secret stash. He took some kitchen roll as he did before walking over to you, gesturing down to the empty chair across from you.

You nodded and he sat, taking the cap of the beer with his teeth and spitting it on the floor. "We don't have beer here," you said.

Logan raised a brow. "No? huh," he took a swig, watching you. "Here." he put his beer next to your coffee and takes your hand, wiping away the coffee.

"I'm ok," you mumble, though letting him dab it away.

"Just making sure, bub," he said, glancing up at you. You'd closed the book but kept a finger where he'd interrupted. "What are you reading?"

You seemed shocked that he asked as you have to think for a moment. "Oh just um, a book."

"A book, huh?" he hummed.

"A book," you repeated.

"What's it about?" he asked, leaning back and taking his beer again.

You shake your head, curling into yourself. "It's just about... art history. Read it?"

He smirked. "I don't read."

You nod, pursing your lips and adjusting the book in your lap. Your head, turned down.

He watched your for a second. He saw your eyes turn around the page but you didn't seem to be taking it in. He sipped his beer and tried to think of another way to start a conversation with you. Not that the silence wasn't welcome, it was after all the noise of the day, but he wanted to hear your voice. He wanted to know your voice even when he knew nothing else. "Wanna know how I snuck beer in this place?"

You glanced up at him, closing your book again. "Do I want to know?"

"Well, it's a neat little trick," he said, spinning the bottle around.

"And if Charles's comes snooping?" you ask.

He shrugs. "Then there's plenty of kids for me to blame it on," he said. "C'mon, you telling me you're not a rule breaker?"

You laugh at the very idea. "No. No, i'm not."

"Why not? Afraid you might get a taste for it?" he teased.

You blushed and he found delight in that.

Most nights, that how it went. In the day he was dealing with everyone's bullshit and at night he'd find you in your chair, reading or what you called crocheting. You even tried to teach him once but in a fit of anger that he couldn't get it, his claws slashed out and tore it.

Logan apologised but to his delight you laughed only.

In the day he always sort you out, or watched from afar as you taught, or sat in the sun. You never participated in danger room sessions. But you were no less a friend to Ororo or Jean, sometimes he'd catch you outside with Scott, talking and laughing and he found he'd never wanted to rip Summer's head from him more.

"I didn't know you and Summer's were... close," he said one night the two of you were in the kitchen. You were hunched over paper, drawing whatever you could see in the dark garden while he fixed himself up a sandwich.

"We've worked together for years," you said, "we were in the same classes together too."

"And you don't find him a pain in the ass?" he asked.

You chuckled. "Not as much as you, Logan, I expect."

Logan hummed a laugh and came over to you, offering you half the sandwich.

You peered at him and he insisted. “I’m not hungry.”

“You barley ate anything at lunch, c’mon, it’s my speciality.”

In the night, the two of you ate in silence, simply enjoying each others company.

Logan was simply fine admiring you for half the night. "Why don't you talk much?"

You glance is way, pulling your sweater back down. "I just don't have much to say."

"C'mon, i'm sure you do," he said. "Seems like everyone always has something to say round here.”

“I don’t have anything useful to contribute,” you shrug, taking a bite of what he made for you.

Something like pride filled him. He didn’t know that doing the plain old domestic stuff could mean so much to him, because when it was only him, he never cared, but you, god, there was no limit to what he felt for you. “That’s not true,” he said, leaning over closer to you. “Wanna hear every thought that pops into that pretty little head.”

You glance his way, blushing. You swallow your food and wipe away the crumbs. “And why is that, Logan?”

He frowned at the question. “Because it’s you. I-I like you, bub. Better than anyone else in this place,” he said. This place wasn’t descriptive enough for him. “I like you most in the whole world.”

After that little confession that had you stunned, Logan was all over you. Most the days when he has nothing to do he followed you around like a puppy, even chose to help out in classes just to be close to you.

It was worth every second, just to hear your voice and see you get passionate.

Slowly, you started to note this and finally opened up to him more. You’d talk about the books you were reading or invite him to your favourite spots in the garden. You’d even tried to crochet for him.

It was peace, and in his life time of war, Logan never thought he’d deserve it.

But peace never lasted long for him.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥

The mission was supposed to be a quick and done deal: investigate the factory and rescue any mutants stuck, but he hadn’t accounted for the mutant who poisoned his mind.

He was in the pale corridors of the facility before his mind took him to the mansion. It was wrecked, holes in walls and windows shattered. There was blood splattered like a painting. Slowly, he wondered the corridors, every step a tremble.

There were children, lying in blood, as well as Storm, Jean, Scott, but then, there was you.

Logan screamed. Logan yelled, he fell to his knees and crawled the rest of the way there. To you. His skin was was soaking in your blood, his hands clawing to get to you, to bring in your body to his. He cried out, nuzzilng his face in your neck.

It didn't feel like a dream, it felt painfully real. It wasn't until there was a searing pain in the back of his head that his eyesight blurred and the blood was gone, so were you.

"It wasn't real, Logan," said Scott, pulling him up. "It was just a dream. It wasn't real."

Logan couldn't register who was pulling him up, or who was talking to him. As his vision cleared, he looked for you and all he knew was that he couldn't find you. "Y-Y/N?"

"She's at home, Logan, c'mon." Scott managed to assort the rest of the team and get them to the jet before flying at a never before seen speed to get back to the mansion.

Logan's knee jittered as he remembered your voice. As he remembered your smile and the way you blushed whenever he looked at you long enough. The soft brush of your touch and the scent your hair carried in the wind. He tried to remember it all, as if when he returns, you won't be there.

Before the jet had even landed, as the sun rose over the school, Logan was jumping out and stalking into the place. He tried not to run, not to give into the urgency.

He went to your bedroom first, but you weren't there. Your sheets were tossed aside and it was empty. So was your classroom.

The sweat started rolling down as he looked around. It was so early, nobody else was up but he was sure with his heavy steps and ragged breaths, he was waking everyone up.

"Y/N? no, no, no," he mumbled. He eventually made it out, taking deep gulps of air and searching the grounds.

You stood with your back to him, a blanket wrapped around you and bathing in the soft light.

"Y/N?"

By the time you'd turned around, Logan was already catapulting into you, sweeping you from your feet and bringing you into his chest. His hand tangled in your hair, breathing you in.

"Logan?" you mumbled, arms awkwardly coming around him. "Everything alright?"

His head shook. "I thought... I thought you-" he found the strength to pull away from you, taking in every detail like he'd never see you again. "I missed you, bub."

There was accusation in your eyes but you didn't voice them. Instead, your knuckles brushed his cheek, smoothing away the lines of stress.

That night, with his head in your lap, you read to him. And Logan knew, nothing would ever happen to you.

He would make sure of it.

taglist (thank you! let me know if you want to be added for more hugh and logan or removed): @oatmilkriver, @angstdaddy, @chronicallybubbly, @white-wolf-buckaroo, @th3mrskory

[shiocreator]

[blasts through the door so that unrealistic 3d blocks aimlessly and slowly float around as dust particles]

If I may-th impead on your domain. I ask-th, if you may, tell me about either most angst ideas you've ever had with OC x canon or the "kicks feet and giggles" sweet type ideas

I saw ur post n Tumblr said nah so I came here.

ANJJKNSKNJS

Ok So....

The Beauty that is scarlette is.

She has so many fucking issues man every SINGLE ship ive put her in has been slowburn strangers friends to lovers in some form cuz i genuinely cant imagine her one day getting randomly into a relationship in like, a blind date way.

SO A LLOTTA THE ANGST CAUSE IS JUST *HER DENIAL* AND AVOIDANCE, i quite frankly LOVE using misunderstandings with her in particular cuz she is so avoidant, she stsrts to avoid her crush and loses friendships that way a lot,

"they'd hate me if they knew i had a crush on them" cuz past trauma of first confession in middle school where everyone already didnt like her and all, and her only friend back then was her "crush", (which might have just been her desperate to cling to the only classmate she thought was a friend) and he just. Slung A lotta insults after she confessed that was the last straw caused her to be how she is

SO EXPLANATIONS OVER HERES THE FUNNY SHIPPING PARTS, read more to spare ppl. Also realizing this isnt just aus but abit vaguely entirely au related in some cases so. Beware

Scarhouse:

Angst; her starting to gain a crush and upon both Madhouse and her pining she realizes this and starts becoming so so *so* avoidant, which makes mike think she hates him now and Robyn has to force them BOTH to confront each other about it in the end (confession time at least happens)

Sweet; i like to think scarlette uses mike as a mattress cuz she can touch ghosts so he CAN hold her, so just cuddling typically on a hot day, wrote a fic n put it on ao3 and i still think its really fun.. touch starved individuals BHFJ

AnxiousGlamour; cant think of angst but the entire dynamic of enemies to friends to lovers with them is so fucking funny to me they yell at each other and insult each other banterly their dynamic before friendship is so funny to me, but lord they genuinely have surprising amount in common, sweet moments wise in my Monsterheart au Scarlette checks on Mettaton cuz ya know. Limbs, and just. They talk. Quiet moment of "you arent so bad afterall." Just quiet moments, Mettaton and her take the boat back to waterfall cuz Scar wanted to say goodbye to Napstablook, before she supposedly died or not. Somber ish moments before she says a "final" goodbye

Now ACTUAL shipping wise? Confession where scarlette is finally okay enough to acknowledge she wasnt get slaughtered or hated by a now at this point good friend just for having a crush, confesses to Mettaton, and "I'll uh, I'm probably gonna be pretty avoidant so i can make the crush go away so im sorry in adva-" "Darling I have been flirting with you for weeks now" "What" hjVKV

MonstrousLiars (okay so NAME CONTEXT. They're both liars. One would think Reigen would be more monstrous cuz ya know. Conman. So figurative 4 him but also hes Really Not. Scarlette is a Literal Monster.): Scarlette nearly dieing to save his and the kids asses which makes her go fully into a kinda adrenalyn fueled shapeshifting moment where she may be a Little drunk off the magic rushing through her veins and afterwards kinda has to be watched over cuz shes not doin great rn,

Scarlette is able to sense curses but not see them (ie she gets very bad vibes gets pale and goes into a minor cold sweat when too close to one, or gets a bubbling sense of dread with skin prickling etc etc, shes essentially absorbing the cursed energy against her will so her body feels BAD) so she just feels really ill and like shes dieing when she DOES get cursed, walks all the way to the office and collapses concerning everyone.

The ingeneral fact this woman wont let anyone help her with her issues is a great cause of pain for everyone cuz they WANNA help tbh

Sweet moments wise Scarlette at some point finally trusting Reigen enough to just, be a person, joke around abit, get him extra snacks she knows he'll like cuz getting people food is a love language.

Reigen and her having one on one dinners cuz he just wanted to know her better meanwhile shes just. Shes not even here for FREE food shes SHIT at interacting she doesnt even know why shes here but hey. coffee ! ghjFVUHG

Bonus cuz current brainrot is these two. Scarlette learning from Mob and Serizawa how things used to be way emptier and hints at reigen also just kinda, not being as having friends as one would assume he would have,, and Scar being just. Able to see that. Maybe theyre abit more similar than she thought and reachimg out abit.

She's been keeping pretty closed off, so i like to think her noticing Reigen is more similar to her than she would have assumed first, over him noticing it first, seemed fitting here, cuz shes learned bit about him through others, whereas she's been really rather. Not prone to even talking about herself, and the only way they can maybe learn more info bout her is carter or random moments of her hyperfixations pop up somehow

[phoenix-before-the-flame]

Scar anon again I'm so sorry for sending consecutive asks but mashima really made the coolest dude + team ever (laxus n the raijinshuu in case it wasn't obvious) and then refused to elaborate like???good sir I would have paid for a full series of Them?? The raijinshuu are so criminally underutilised like I want to know their backstories!! I want to know how they came to join fairy tail!!! I start frothing at the mouth everytime I think about how mashima did the raijinshuu so dirty esp during the Tartarus arc ;- ; anyways sorry for the rant it's like 4 am and I'm having many Thoughts ok that's all from me for real this time 👍🏼 peace!

Everything after Tartarus is my villain origin story lol, not even joking. It's so messy.

Im not singing praises for everything before it ofc there was some jank from beginning to gmg but after tartarus' end the story and characterization really seemed to start coming apart at the seams and it really tanked everything even though at that stage mashima's art was 10/10. Which is a shame bcus tartarus really was a step in the right direction tonally but it just stopped right there. Copped a massive W then tossed it out for consecutive L's.

But yea man! Laxus and his squad! Laxus will forever be a sorta sore spot for me because of the dropped Dreyar family plot thread. The whole dealio with Ivan, Makarov sending Gajeel to spy on him, Laxus' lone adventures. It really could've culminated in either a small side arc or a B-plot of an already existing arc

(I personally would add it into Tenrou. Take Gajeel off tenrou to have him doin his spy gig, accidentally meet up with Laxus during that, plot details regarding the dreyar family happen all while the events of tenrou go down. The duo gets wind of Grimoire Heart heading to tenrou from Raven Tail due to all dark guilds sharing info. The duo head over to tenrou post haste and allowing gajeel to carry out the iconic gajevy moment where he saves her and justifying why Laxus ended up on Tenrou instead of just randomly showing up at the nick of time. But alas, details lol)

Thunder Legion's always been interesting to me though. I'll admit i dont think about them often but they are a pretty unique squad with varying personalities across the board that, on paper, you probs wouldn't expect em to be friends, let alone friends that close and loyal to one another.

Their magics are also a main point of interest because it really is so out there. Freed in essence has an upgraded solid script (plus those unused transformations the beast lookin one from fantasia and the more streamlined one from tenrou), Evergreen has the petrification magic (alongside her main magic with the energy attacks) and Bickslow? Soul manipulation? That can't be legal man. The magic system in FT is really underexplained and has a anything goes sorta deal (hello summoning gods) but man, i would've loved something there for these 3- power limits or drawbacks, how it works, whether its magic they naturally manifested or learned or both. Something along those lines.

And while i don't think a backstory would've been necessary for them per se, because at the end of the day they still are side characters so relevancy of the information learned throughout the story dictates how much is really needed to be known and this extends to learning about how they joined the guild as well (i personally think they all joined as adults tbh. I know a lotta peeps like to think of em as a teen friendship squad but i really prefer it they were an adult friend group. Having a friendship that strong forming in their 20s feels right to me), but i think even a one line or 2 regarding their pasts could come up in conversation for that information to come up naturally.

Like for eg. Freed gives off rich kid energy, so perhaps he's a runaway rich kid like herself but not from Fiore, that could be revealed in a convo with Lucy at some point to strike common ground between the two. Evergreen feels like an orphaned soul turned away (i personally think she gives off Jessie from pokemon vibes) by others a lot so why not a kinship with her and Juvia or even Mirajane? Bickslow the wild card could spout jokes about his acrobatic skills he learned from being a street performer, just something. They're not perfect concepts no, but they're little ways the characters could've been given even a scrap of info to help learn more about em.

Also uhhhh, it always threw me off that they weren't all S-class wizards so i think it would've been cooler if they were a whole squad of s class wizards who attempted a guild coup instead of just 1 s class and his homies. Aight byeeeeee.

[bergeronprocess]

The Anime I Watched in 2022

I really got into watching anime this year! Previously, I had been content to just use Funimation and Crunchyroll's free tiers and just wait a week for new episodes. But with the merger, and Crunchyroll's declaration that new shows would no longer be available at all to free users, I grit my teeth and got a premium subscription. (Hot tip, Crunchyroll - PROFILES. For the love of God, add separate profiles to an account. I share with my brother in law because he shares lots of streamers with us and it's the least we can do, but our tastes in anime are VERY different - he loves boxing/fighting/sports anime and I'm all like iyashikei/girls doin' stuff/idol anime lol.

ANYWAY. I have made great use of this paid account this year. According to my Anime Planet account, I watched 14 shows this year (ok actually 13 because it counts both cours/seasons of Spy x Family as separate shows) and I am going to reflect on each of them below.

Winter 2022

My Dress-Up Darling: Oh, this definitely belongs in the small group of shows I watched that fumbled the bag, that messed up their interesting concept somehow. In the case of Dress-Up, it's...you know. The fanservice. The blatant and inescapable male gaze on these characters, who are all minors. When they introduced the sisters, one of whom is very tall and large-chested and the other of whom is very short and small-chested, I almost tapped out then because I knew it just wasn't going to go well. And I was right! It didn't!

Here! Here's a great video by The Anime Tea that talks about this issue. It got age restricted a while ago, which should tell you everything you need to know about this show - even just criticism of it that shows clips from it is enough to make Youtube go "whoa, this is only for adults."

They almost tried to handle the idea of teenage sexuality well (I recall a scene of Marin on the train reflecting on Gojo's grandpa assuming they were going to have sex and she's like "Would it be so awful if we did?" Like, no, dear, it wouldn't! Not if you both know what you want, talk about it, consent, stay safe, all that good stuff) and then they did that love hotel episode instead. ROBLOX OOF DOT MP3 10 HOURS BASS BOOSTED

Also, I just kinda didn't like how it talked about cosplay. It's like hey you can do cosplay! Yeah! But only if you modify your body to look exactly like the character! Shave your eyebrows! Bind your chest! DO BLACKFACE oh god I had forgotten about the blackface I'm going to just go outside and yell for a minute

so uhhh yeahhhh that wasn't great

the ending song is fun tho

Spring 2022

This was when I got the paid subscription lol

Aharen-san wa Hakarenai: This is hands down my favorite anime of the year. The characters are just so silly and goofy and charming and relatable. I kinda wish they had localized the name of the show so it could be a bit easier to recommend, but once I learned that hakarenai literally means indecipherable, I see that was probably a creative decision BY the localizer(s) - gosh if only they weren't rendered anonymous by NDAs/a lack of crediting, I think it would be cool to follow them on social media and see if they did a like "behind the anime" where they talk about that - and I appreciate that.

There were a couple of random and unnecessary segments with dieting and weight gain/loss discussion that could have been left on the cutting room floor, but that's literally the only bad thing I can think of. (Okay, Momo-chan-sensei was kind of A Bit Much, lol.) There's even a lovely moment with Aharen's little brother wearing her clothes and worrying about if she might be angered by it, but she reassures him and welcomes it.

My husband started watching this with me because we do physically resemble Aharen and Raidou in that I am a foot shorter than him...and he loved it! Especially when the teacher takes everyone camping and just casually drifts the hell out of her Honda minivan, smiling while all the students scream in fear. The camping episodes were very sweet. It all worked out well in the end. I started playing claw games at Round1 because of this show. I'm actually kind of good at them - I won six plushies one time.

If nothing else, please just watch this one credits scene to get an idea of the vibe.

Spy x Family (also in Fall 2022): I mean, what's to say that hasn't already been said? It's great! I recall the first couple of episodes felt a bit off to me, tone-wise - like alternately too rushed and too slow? idk - but then it found its stride. I love Yor. I love Anya. I love the Cold War Germany setting. My husband likes to watch this show with me now, to the point that I'm still sitting on last week's episode so we can watch together. I've heard the German dub is really good but haven't checked it out yet.

Deaimon: A very pretty looking show that focuses on an ugly topic - trauma - with abandoned child finding and bonding with a new family while still pining for her old one. I learned a lot about wagashi from this show and I like how it didn't end with everything all tied up in a pretty little bow. That feels more realistic. Much as we may have wanted Itsuka to have a teary reunion with her dad and for everything to happily fade to black, that's not what real life is like.

Also I literally only just learned that Maaya Sakamoto did the opening theme?! How did I not notice that lol I was truly just going to the show's Anime News Network page to refresh my memory about how the season ended. Wow, a theme song by one of the GOATs of anison!

Healer Girl: A magical girl show that isn't grimdark!!! In fact, it's wholesome and uplifting! The idea of a world where singing can heal people, and is used alongside Western or Eastern medicine for patient care, just hooked me in from episode 1. I'm not a big musical person, but if you are, I think you will especially appreciate the times when, like, the girls all sing instead of just having a spoken conversation. The songs are very pretty. I love how it came full circle with Kana both being healed and doing healing on a plane. Just the perfect encapsulation of like, hey, you studied hard, you got licensed, you can do this thing now, and you do it, and you feel like you're on top of the world.

I definitely recommend this one too.

Heroines Run the Show: Oh look! Another show that fumbled the bag!! The concept sounded very fun, I liked the character of Hiyori so much, the two idol guys she worked with were annoying but in an "ugh will you two just kiss already" kind of way...and then they were like hey! What if we have a character so devoted and delusional that she blackmails her friend, and literally physically hurts her, because she is proximate to her faves? And what if we made the narrative decision that she was in the RIGHT to have done so? And what if all of that stuff is easily forgiven, wrapped up in a pretty little bow, like 1.5 episodes later? THAT was when I was like okay this sucks!

Love Live Nijigasaki Season 2: Niji is my absolute favorite iteration of Love Live, so of COURSE I was going to love this, and I very certainly did. I wish they could've given us a R3BIRTH song in the finale - instead we just got a pose that implies they have already formed and started performing but just offstage - but that's minor. I am glad they didn't just adapt the game's storyline exactly. Shioriko was definitely kind of a heel in the game lol.

The opening vibes feel perfect for this time of year, so hey why not just share it here!

Gosh, if only this could get a season 3 as well! (Sigh...more on that later.) But we will be getting a movie/OVA and a 4-koma style show next year, so I'll still be eatin' good. Oh, I just realized - could these two pieces of media feature a different voice actor for Setsuna? I was very sorry to hear that Tomori needed to step down, but I understand it fully and, if these shows will indeed feature someone new, I look forward to hearing her give life to Setsuna too.

Summer 2022

Love Live Superstar Season 2: This fumbled the bag for me as well. Something just felt super off about the pacing the whole time and the songs didn't really hit for me (except the ending song, which was nice and the animation for it was lovely). Either we were spending way too much damn time on training sequences or we were watching Sumire and Keke bicker. Meanwhile all Wien did was come in and say Kanon's name every so often, except at the very end when she's the one who hits us with the swerve about the canceled study abroad. (Nijigasaki handled/is going to handle the idea of a character doing study abroad so much better lol) Congrats on the unprecedented third season I guess (Sunshine would've been a much better candidate to get a third season that focuses on the six remaining members of Aqours as they navigate their new school, their new reality without the third years, etc - no the Yohane isekai fantasy show thingy coming out next year does not count as a third season, though I AM interested in it), maybe use that next block of episodes to try to flesh out these characters. Please give Kinako some flowers!

That was literally all I watched this season lol.

Fall 2022

Fall heard that summer was a blah season and was like CHECK THIS OUT and check it out I did

Bocchi the Rock: Love this show. So does everyone else, because it is GREAT! Yes, I relate to Bocchi very much, so that may have something to do with my enjoyment of it lol. But I also love seeing exactly what kind of unusual form of artistic expression the animators are going to use this week. From paper puppets to zoetropes, claymation to Evangelion-style regression, they were unafraid to try even the weirdest and most offbeat stuff - and it hit the mark every time.

Doesn't hurt that the music genuinely slaps, too. Even as an idol anime fan, I do like that this was more realistic - ticket quotas, song writers' block, indifferent audiences, the specter of alcohol abuse. It's also great to see how so many talented artists have drawn Kessoku Band in the style of famous real-life album covers.

It would be great to see these characters again in a season 2.

Gundam The Witch from Mercury: Congrats to G-Witch for bringing me back into the Gundam fold for the first time since Wing was on American TV in the late 90s/early 00s! Another universally loved show that has absolutely earned its adoration. I feel like episode 12 will just be the start of things, not the end, especially since Gundam shows usually get runs of about 50 episodes or so.

G-Witch gets a special award for not being super fatphobic too! There are multiple characters who have larger bodies and one of them is even a girl who is very popular with boys (Lilique, my sweet little cupcake. I hope to God nothing bad happens to you), which definitely is not the role usually inhabited by the fat girl. There is one scene where a guy makes a crack about another guy not being able to fit his belly into a pilot suit, but the guy literally floats down and shuts that shit down right away. The show also gets another special award for drawing Black characters in a way that does not feel uncomfortable (at least to me, and granted I am a white woman so I can only speak for my personal feelings, but still).

And the opening and ending songs are both bops too lol

I'm the Villainess So I'm Taming the Final Boss: This one kiiiinda fumbled the bag a bit what with its "what is the opposite of sakuga because that's what's going on here" animation style and its pedal-to-the-metal speedrun of the material. Plus I didn't super like the contrived memory loss plotline of the third segment. But I adore Aileen and Claude so much that I can't just say this one totally fumbled the bag. I DID buy the first 3 light novels and the first manga volume this year - now I need to dig in because from literally all accounts, everyone says those are much better.

Do It Yourself!!: Hey, it's the girls doin' stuff genre! A favorite of mine! Especially when it's also a hobby show - I was reminded of Let's Make a Mug Too, which I also enjoyed a lot. I did not super like that Purin is practically the definition of tsundere for 11.5 episodes (I was literally just yelling OH MY GOD JUST BE HONEST IT WON'T KILL YOU at my TV a few times...I don't like the concept of tsundere much lol) and they should have cast a voice actor for Jobko who was more fluent in English because frankly it was hard to comprehend her sometimes (I know Sally Amaki and Shu Uchida can't work every role, but surely they can't be the only working seiyuu with English fluency), but those were my only two issues and those are pretty minor really.

I especially liked how the club advisor got all the club alumni to pitch in and help build the treehouse when the materials were accidentally discarded - helping through the generations! While a second season would be nice here (I totally feel like the two girls who asked to tour the treehouse would've joined up, thus allowing the club to be at 5 members who actually go to Gatagata and 2 who don't), I don't think it's super necessary because the story wrapped up well.

The Little Lies We All Tell: If this had just aired in the weak summer season instead of the strong fall one, I think it would've caught on more. It's so goofy and funny (I laughed out loud at the Evangelion references) AND it managed to not do anything really gross with the concept of "This is Tsubasa, who is actually a boy pretending to be a girl because his identical twin sister wants to go to a boys' school to be near her favorite idols". Heck, there was even an episode where, due to alien magic, Tsubasa DOES temporarily lose uhh a certain body part and is like "hey this is pretty good actually, I was freaked out at first but now I'm alright".

The only "ugh, don't love this" thing was how Sekine using her psychic powers to their fullest potential temporarily gives her a large belly and she tries to avoid this at all costs. Damn, fatphobia really is literally everywhere, isn't it?

Also Chiemi Tanaka deserves the "she has the range" award for this show. Rikka usually has a very high-pitched cute girl voice, but her inner monologue often uses a deeper and more serious voice, and she effortlessly switches between the two at the drop of a hat. Look at Rina Tennoji's voice actor crushing it!

But overall, this is just a goofy little show that's kind of in the same vein as Azumanga Daioh, Nichijou, things like that, and I hate that it got overshadowed by literally everything else lol.

Woo! What a great year of anime - looking forward to 2023!

[totally-correct-shenanigans]

musical ramblings #4

okay look i know i said i was doin' the brains but then shuffle put this on and i was like "oh." so !!

surface pressure ; jessica darrow (encanto)

i'll never shut up about the fact that these barely-20-somethings have what feels like the weight of the world on their shoulders-- or, in the case of clock-la, they might have genuinely had the weight of the world on their shoulders.

i will also never shut up about the cooper legacy and how much weight it puts on their shoulders independent of the whole fighting for their lives thing.

again, in-depth analysis/breakdown under the cut <3 this one's a little on the longer side, i think. and the choruses get typed out every time bc i didn't want to cut around them bc of the "give it to your sister" segments. so yeah.

this is also mostly murray & sly, but theres a fair amount of bentley in there too :3

i feel like this one is a lot of me taking canon and running with it but i am a very fast runner so i think it's okay. but um i hope it's okay if this one's a little more headcanon-y. i've tried to make clear what was My Brain and what was Actual Stuff thus far but i have many emotions about this song and i need to explain their complicated self-image ok. hopefully that's okay

also this might be LESS comprehensible than the last one but probably not less comprehensible than my little reason why. braincell is ping ponging around within me skull

update from midway through, this is very sly 2 focused i think. oops but like not really fdhsjkafhd

"I'm the strong one, I'm not nervous / I'm as tough as the crust of the Earth is"

yeah that's just murray in a nutshell. well post-sly 1 at least. just know that "i'm not nervous" is said in the absolute most nervous way possible, because murray absolutely is.

"I move mountains, I move churches / And I glow 'cause I know what my worth is"

the beginning of this song is very murray lol. he seems to be the one most confident in his strength & skills during 2 & 3, esp. during 2. but he is also the one to reassure bentley that they're equals during 3 which isn't entirely related but it does show that he does indeed know his worth. <3

"I don't ask how hard the work is / Got a rough, indestructible surface / Diamonds and platinum, I find 'em, I flatten 'em / I take what I'm handed, I break what's demanded, but"

more murraycore lol. i think this is pretty self-explanatory

(fun fact: murray has the most health of the cooper brothers, meaning comparatively to, say, bentley, he does in fact have a "rough, indestructible surface" <;3)

"Under the surface / I feel berserk as a tightrope walker in a three-ring circus"

okay now we fall out of the surface level "yeah that makes sense". i gotta say using the word Berserk there ... has me thinking of the Murray Tries To Kill You section w/ the agitators. to be FAIR i'm pretty sure tightrope walkers Don't Do That. but i've also never been to the circus, so.

anyway ! i feel like he's also the like. the Silliest, y'know? the naive one that's usually getting made fun of, i think. and he presents the most, he's not built for subtlety; he's very visible. which is also part of why this line is He. he probably feels like he's a circus act to be watched and laughed at, y'know?

"Under the surface / Was Hercules ever like 'yo, I don't wanna fight Cerberus'?"

note the missing green bc i feel like bentley feels much less Forced into his role. he likes being the smart guy !

now, that's not to say that murray and sly don't like their roles, because of course they do! but being the strong one was, as we see, not murray's first choice. and being the strong one means you do all the heavy lifting, and while murray likes that most of the time... i'm sure there are times where he'd rather have stayed just the getaway driver.

and then there's sly, who loves the whole thief thing and loves his role and wouldn't trade it for the world, but... he got shoved into this whole thing too, y'know? he loves being a thief, but i'm sure he would love it more if it had been his choice, if anybody had asked him before it was suddenly his everything.

"Under the surface / I'm pretty sure I'm worthless, if I can't be of service"

yet another cotton candy line. look i can go SO in-depth about sly and his self-esteem issues esp. during sly 3. there's an interaction during a cold alliance that is pretty much the entire formation for this head of canon ("Sure you won't need my help on the inside?" "I'm afraid this is a problem only technology can solve." "...Right. Well, have fun with your, uh, technology." "Don't wait up- this could go all night!")

and then there's murray, who thinks he's not "of service" and leaves because he doesn't want to hinder the team any more than he thinks he already does (see the sly 2.5 comic.) he doesn't just think he's worthless if he's not doing something, he thinks he's worse than that; if he's not helping, he's a hinderance. hell i'm pretty sure he thinks he's a hinderance even when he IS helping sometimes. (see: him blaming himself for the clock-la incident.)

"A flaw or a crack / The straw in the stack / That breaks the camel's back / What breaks the camel's back? It's- / Pressure like a drip, drip, drip that'll never stop, woah / Pressure that'll tip, tip, tip 'til you just go pop, woah"

admittedly this is mostly just vibes. but also they need a nap and a hug. i'm pretty sure that by the end of sly 3 and all the fighting and the tensities and the bigger team that they're all about 3 seconds away from snapping.

"Give it to your sister, your sister's older / Give her all the heavy things we can't shoulder"

yet another gender swap but again for the sake of lyrical clarity i'm not changing the pronouns. just Know that pretty much every she is actually a he. that's a good life motto in general actually /j

this is mostly just bc i am an oldest bentley truther lol. but also i think he does wind up with a lot of "heavy things [they] can't shoulder" because as the planner i think that's just how that goes. he knows his brothers' skillsets! if something needs done that the two of them can't do, it's bentley's job. (see: demolitions, rc, etc.)

"Who am I, if I can't run with the ball / If I fall to... / Pressure like a grip, grip, grip and it won't let go, woah"

okay this was originally combined with the next one but i needed a place to talk about sly and the generational trauma. like sly's entire LIFE is built around being a thief (hence the "who am i if i can't run with the ball"- if sly cooper isn't a master thief, who even is he?) and living up to his family's legacy, hence the pressure. and no matter what he does, he can't escape it (it won't let go, wink wink.)

now because sly 4 simply isn't real this'll probably be the only time i mention it in this breakdown but even when he isn't a thief he still can't escape the Cooper burden, and his whole bloodline is once more put into peril because of something he had nothing to do with.

...i think. i'm only like 1/4 of the way into sly 4 but i'm pretty sure it's the classic steven universe style my parent(s) did something to you but now they're dead so you're determined to take it out on me bc i'm their kid thing.

"Pressure like a tick, tick, tick, 'til it's ready to blow, woah / Give it to your sister, your sister's stronger / See if she can hang on a little longer / Who am I, if I can't carry it all? / If I falter..."

murray honey your self-esteem issues are showing again. this is more of that "if i'm not helping i'm hurting" mentality that he seems to have. and also more Strong One shenanigans !

also the "tick tick tick 'til it's ready to blow" is very the murray very much so has Some Rage Within There. most notable example of this is Opera of Fear when octavio pisses him off by harassing bentley and he beats the shit out of the poor opera lion man.

i'm realizing the way him and sly view themselves are very similar lol. however i think murray finds some peace in training with the guru and is able to fall back from this mindset a bit. but that's not related.

again, more Strong One. he's big and tough and therefore he should be the one handling these things. he's the Strong One and therefore he is handling these things and he is handling them fine, he says, like a liar. he is Not Fine.

"Under the surface / I hide my nerves, and it worsens / I worry something is gonna hurt us / Under the surface / The ship doesn't swerve as it heard how big the iceberg is"

bentley is very Worried in General, as we know. "hide [his] nerves" probably comes into play bc he's their voice of reason, and if the voice of reason is panicking then everything is terrible and they're all gonna die. HOWEVER if he's not panicking then he might accidentally make sly and murray think they're in less danger than they are (leading to them being a little more careless and only worsening his nerves.)

OKAYOKAYOKAY "the ship doesn't swerve as it heard how big the iceberg is" gives me very much so vibes of the one Ro.tTM.NT episode with the poison pizza puffs and the younger three are constantly like "rap.h'll bail us out :]" and rap.h is like "NO."

i think sly and murray do that to bentley a lot, esp. post jailbreak. it doesn't matter what kind of trouble they get into because bentley can bust them out ! which is why the metaphorical ship isn't swerving. it's kind of sweet the amount of trust they have for bentley however bentley would like to humbly request they stop showing him they trust him by throwing themselves into danger!

"Under the surface / I think about my purpose, can I somehow preserve this? / Line up the dominoes, a light wind blows / You try to stop it toppling but on and on it goes"

and the return of the cotton candy self-esteem issues again and still pretty much for the same reason. though i admit this line is mostly murraycore, hence why it's so much more pink than blue <3

murray's 'purpose' is to be the strong one, sly's is to be a thief. again they both think that they're "worthless if [they] can't be of service" but sly is a little different in the fact that his purpose rlly isn't going anywhere.

meanwhile murray after the clock-la incident is pretty sure he has lost his purpose! he thinks he failed at being the Strong One ("can i somehow preserve this?") and that dominoes (wink) into him spiraling over every tiny mistake he makes (as we see during the aforementioned sly 2.5 comic where he blames himself for every little thing) but all that really does is make him clam up and mess up more which. "you try to stop it toppling but on and on it goes," y'know?

"But wait, if I could shake / The crushing weight of expectations / Would that free some room up for joy? / Or simple pleasures"

sly is atlas and the cooper name is his globe, y'know?

"Instead we measure, this growing pressure / Keeps growing, keep going / 'Cause all we know is / Pressure like a drip, drip, drip that'll never stop, woah / Pressure that'll tip, tip, tip 'til you just go pop, woah"

again with the very sly 2 vibe i think. the whole Growing Pressure just reads as them learning about the klaww gang and their spice schemes and neyla and suddenly this isn't just about destroying the clockwerk parts it's about saving paris and i doubt neyla would have stopped with just paris and i'm sure the cooper brothers know that too

these colors are out of order (usually it would be green -> pink -> blue) because i wanted sly to have the "all we know is" ... despite the fact that it really matches all of them. they've never lived any other way, sly especially.

"Give it to your sister, it doesn't hurt and / See if she can handle every family burden / Watch as she buckles and bends, but never breaks / No mistakes, just"

again w the family thing like i said i will never shut up about it. 'cause sly's been dealing with the consequences of his family's (specifically his father's) actions this whole time and he's been succeeding, he destroyed clockwerk, he destroyed clock-la, he defeated dr. m, but he's still floundering under the pressure of living under legends.

even when he's Literally About to Die bc his dad didn't believe in minimum wage he's worried about how he compares to the Coopers before him ("Would he be proud? Or ashamed?") like bb harbor some resentment in there for the hell you've been put through.

"Pressure like a grip, grip, grip and it won't let go, woah / Pressure like a tick, tick, tick 'til it's ready to blow, woah"

debated switching sly and murray's lines for this ending segment but i think this works the best. again with the Rage That Will Explode and also his inescapable hell of being The Strong One.

"Give it to your sister and never wonder / If the same pressure would have pulled you under"

this is both about bentley being the jack of all trades when he needs to be and about him keeping the other two out of trouble. he's certain the other two would be 'pulled under' by the stress of more things to do, and he's certain they would be 'pulled under' and kept under if he wasn't there to bail them out.

"Who am I, if I don't have what it takes?"

guess what .. it's the generational trauma again <3 more about sly and his need to live up to his family line because as the line says who is he if he doesn't have what it takes!

"No cracks, no breaks / No mistakes, no pressure"

bentley's determined to not crack under the pressure because of his brothers, both to keep them out of trouble and to bail them out of the troubles they get into anyway. murray's determined to not break because he's The Strong One, and if he's not, then he's certain he'll be some kind of hinderance. and sly's determined to not make any mistakes so he can earn his cooper name and make his father proud.

this will definitely not wind up causing at least 3 breakdowns. (sarcasm)

[caspianxth]

Hi, more thoughts, sorry<3

like yeah i agree that kaz absolutely has a heart, but i think those acts of kindness are mostly reserved for the people he loves, even if wylan is new, you can tell he's already warmed up to him, and i really dont think he'd do something kind just because for someone he feels indifferent to at best, much less someone like a king, and wait omg i just remembered he's friends with sturmhund i take it all back, he would indeed give it up for his friend. and yeah youre right about wesper it was adorable, but i dont know i needed the slow burnnnnn, but yeah given netflix penchant for with gay shit, it was necessary.

And about everything else, yeah it made sense but it was really rushed, especially in s2, and like i get that they have to make everything as fast as they can in case it gets cancelled but im sad about it, but i just really hope malina does meet in the meadow in the end, cause at this point, this show is uncharted territory and completely new and i am so excited for it, and i think that was just setting up for nikolai i bet they will make him all scary later, or at least i hope. But like MERZOST!!!!! ALINA WTF!!! i loved the shadow cut it, like alina i love that youre very powerful but pls try not to turn evil, and like shes heading exactly in the direction the darkling said she would go which is so scary and obvious in a good way i love it. And omg the darkling, like in the books its neither easy to not root for him except maybe when he dies, but here omg, you're telling me he actually felt something for alina and it was not just manipulation!!!

Also Ben Barnes makes it really hard to not be on his side, Alina is waay stronger than me, "Make me your villain", for you? anything, also very simp i loved it, so its okay they omitted a lot of his character and relationship with alina, as they basically made a new one which i like. and about the white hair thing, it was iconic!!! i needed it!! but its okay, also i think the darkling probably experienced some shit associated with his power, but probably never like that cause the only amplifier he used was his mother, and it wasnt until he used merzost he became unstoppable, and it was slowly taking its toll on him, so slowy at first that it might have even been a plot hole, cause later it starts eating him from the inside.

Anyways Ice Court Heist is coming omgomgomgomg im so excited, i cant wait to see something really serious happening with nikolai and alina, and the crows just, just, yeah. i love them. i love jesper and wylan (the characters not their relationship in this instance) so much i could die just thinking about them.

And i think that's all my thoughts until now, I apologize in advance because I WILL think about it more and I WILL bother you about it<3

sturmhond my beloved <3 best of the grishaverse men truly!! also re wesper I love them I'd die for them plus with a tv show I need smth to be happy about and kanej: glacial pace, helnik: slow burn bc of the whole hellgate sitch. like I need smth to be diggin!!! re nikolai, a nichevo'ya is not how he should look and tbh I don't like how they're doing it in the show if that's the angle they take but hopefully I'm wrong. I do think paddy gibson did kill as nikolai like when they let book nikolai pop out? slayed!!! also yeah alina like don't be doin that (merzost) baghra made u promise!! but it is a way better end than her losing all her power and I'm excited to see where they take that, I saw on twitter somewhere that leigh has lots of ideas where to take it if given more so we shall see <3 also w the darkling, like, ok so 1 he is ben barnes so that's a thing bc I've been crushing on him since prince caspian but also!! like the thing is like, he really did love her for a bit there! he had peace when she surprise kissed him!! that's the moment he went right back to in his defeat right before alina mcstabbed him (which he did deserve btw). like the heartbreaking part w darklina is they really could've had it if he'd trusted her!!! but he didn't!!! and that was his greatest weakness!!!!! I do like malina but like, for me it's nikolina >>>>>>>>>> malina sorry. book or show nikolai is just *chef's kiss*. but also re nikolai, zoyalai >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>nikolina. so like, the setup there is also *chef's kiss*.

[pricetheghost0]

Tw sh, cringe

Words: 3700

Kenma x depressed reader

Your parents were like most other parents. They were nice enough every now and then but they still had their quirks.

Your dad was aloof like a cat who couldn't care less about you existing or not. He only showed that he cared when he found out the first time about your self harm.

Your mom was the type to switch things up. Occasionally she would want to hug you or make you food. Most of the time though, she would argue and put you down. She called you a bitch, a whore, a useless brat, etc. This drove you crazy when she acted nice.

On a typical Tuesday during the first week of school, you woke up and went downstairs. You were dressed and physically ready. Mentally you wish you could just stay in bed for the rest of your life. Your mother had your lunch ready and you slapped together a piece of toast and jelly.

As you ate in the car you put an earbud in to listen to (your favorite playlist). You can't stand the radio.

Your pov

I swear to God, if I have to hear "happy" by Pharrell Williams one more time, I'm gonna fucking lose it. It's so repetitive and annoying. No one is that happy. Well… unless you are on drugs… then maybe.

We finally made it. I'm a freshman which is super cringy. Most of them run around the halls as if they are happy to be in school.

I step out of the car and see the sign for Nekoma high school. I grab my stuff and head inside.

Time skip to lunch cuz I'm hungry

I sit under a tree and start listening to music so I can calm my dying social battery. It is pretty warm outside making a sweater and thigh highs seem a tad odd. Of course I switched my happy and bubbly personality on so people don't question it too much.

I had my best friend with me. She is moving soon but I knew she could get the school to think this is just my style since she is a super popular senior. bsf/n never knew why I would cover up. For all she knew, it really is my style.

I couldn't possible flat out tell her "I know we are sad you are moving away but I just wanna let you know I cut myself for fun". I know she'd feel guilty and take my blades away. That sounds like too much of a pain.

As me and bsf/n were sharing songs with each other, a guy came up to us. He seemed too cocky for me and I went back to looking at my phone.

"Hey Kuroo! Whatcha doin without kenma?" Bsf/n said standing up and hugging him.

"He wanted to be alone to play games. Something about a social battery. I wasn't really listening though." Kuroo shrugged with a sigh.

I let out a small laugh. So he's a bit like me. He seems to have more confidence though since he told his friend to leave him alone.

"Who's this? Why is she laughing at my pain?" Kuroo joked.

"This is y/n. She also talks about social batteries but she usually whispers way too quietly for me to hear. What is a social battery?" Bsf/n asked.

"If I talk to too many people in a day I get tired and lowkey wanna beat the shit outta the next person that looks at me. That's only when it dies tho." I said still not paying attention to the beanstalk in front of me.

"Did Kenma wanna punch me then?!" Kuroo asked, looking in my direction. I ignored him. My battery was dead and I was over it.

"Heyyyyy answerrrr!" Kuroo pouted like a baby. I needed a way to stop my anger. I wanted to stab him. He talks way too much and I'm not interested.

"I'll see you later bsf/n." I got up and grabbed my stuff.

"O-ok. Are you alright?" She said with a caring tone.

"Did I say something wrong?" Kuroo was worried.

"I'm fine. I just think I started early." I had to make some kinda excuse. This was good enough because kuroo wouldn't dare question me.

"Do you need anything?" Bsf/n asked while ready to give me the world.

"Not right now." I walked away and went straight to the bathroom. I locked the stall door and took out my blade. It was in a pencil case that I put back in my bag.

I rolled my sleeve up to show scabs and scars all over my upper forearm. For the people who cut their wrists… for the love of god grow up.

I sliced and made a few cat scratches which weren't good enough. I dabbed the blood away with the thinnest toilet paper you could ever find. I take a quiet deep breath. I steady the blade and swipe it.

I had forgotten this was a new blade.

Fuck.

I reached beans for the first time. It hurt like a bitch. I can't lie. It is kinda pretty as blood fills it. The cut was in the fattiest area of my forearm. This probably saved me a trip to the hospital.

My arm is still throbbing so I made the executive decision to stop before things got outta hand. I stopped the bleeding for the most part and pulled my sleeve down. After putting everything away, I flushed the toilet and washed my hands.

It was my free period and I sure as hell didn't want to talk to people so I headed up to the roof. What kid would be up there when it's this hot?

I walk up the shit ton of stairs with my 2 ton back pack. I open the door to the roof and I sit in the shade. Then I made eye contact with a cat???? Nope it's just a middle schooler who got lost.i look back down at my phone and load up subway surfers. It's an OK game. It's good for passing time while listening to music.

"Why are you here?" The kid asks quietly.

"Shouldn't I be asking that? Aren't you a middle schooler?" I asked not looking up from my game.

"WHAT? I'm not a middle schooler though." The guy said.

"Oh… sorry. I'm up here cuz my social battery died. Then this guy named kuroo came to talk to my friend and he's exaughsting." I ranted.

"He really is that's why my social battery dies so often." He said with a small laugh

"You know him?" I asked while immersed in the game.

"Yeah. He's my friend. Oh, my names-" the guy couldn't finish his sentence.

"FUCK" right before I beat my high score I lost.

"... Kenma… u good?" He finished and looked up from his phone as I smacked the wall with my arm out of pure rage.

"Well hi kenma, my name is y/n. I almost beat my high score." I said wanting to cry out of anger.

"What are you playing?" Kenma asked.

"Subway surfers. Y'know, something to pass the time." I shrugged lowkey embarrassed that I was playing a game for 9 year olds.

"What's your high score?" Kenma tilted his head.

"583,857" I said, questioning why I'm answering all his questions.

"Really? Well mines 826,291." He boasted. This lowkey pissed me off but before I knew it he spoke again. "Hey ummm… I think you hit the wall too hard. Your arm is bleeding."

"Oh shi- what the fuck." I panicked. It was like I thought he would know what happened. He did have his suspicions because a lot of people who have social batteries get roped into self harm of some kind. Your stupid panicking only proved him right.

He went into his back and grabbed a fresh bandage and jacket he usually kept for himself and handed it to me and left. He didn't want to say anything since he knew how awkward it is to talk about. He had the bad luck of Kuroo finding out. Of course, knowing kuroo, the poor guy is usually never left alone except for when they are at school when kuroo assumes it's safe.

I was shocked and knew he knew. I didn't know if I should have felt greatful or upset that he didn't say anything. I chose to be grateful since it made me realize he wouldn't tell anyone. Not to mention the fact that he probably does the same or at least used to because he had his in his bag. I made sure the area was clear and started wrapping my arm.

Kenma pov

Kuroo is probably looking for me. It's pretty sad he burnt 2 people out. He is probably coming up here now to get me to play volleyball with him.

That's when I noticed y/ns arm was bleeding. It wasn't too much blood but it would've been rough to keep it unbandaged. I knew she couldn't walk around with a bloody sweater because that would draw way too much attention. Just thinking of it makes me sick. I opened the door and low and behold I saw kuroo and bsf/n that were about to open the door. I didn't want them seeing y/n like this so I guarded the door.

I talked with the two idiots questioning if I saw you. I told them I didn't and after a little bit we walked away. I knew you would be able to wrap it up pretty quickly and move on.

Time skip to the end of school 😮‍💨

Who knows what pov this is

You finished class and saw bsf/n waiting for you.

"Hey y/nnnn…" she paused. "Isn't that Kenmas jacket? Hold on, follow me."

She grabbed my hand without me being able to answer and before I knew it we were at the gym.

"Heyyyyy bsf/nnnnn." a guy screamed and came running at us then stopped. "Wait… who's his pretty girl you have with you. Wait…" he snaps his head at Kenma. "ISN'T THAT YOUR JACKET?! YOU TRAITOR!"

"So what if it's my hoodie Yamamoto? I spilled my apple juice on her sweater." Kenma covered for me.

Both the team and bsf/n gasped. They were shocked that Kenma was nice to someone for once.

"Wait… when were you together?" Kuroo questioned.

"Stairwell when I was going to the roof" kenma covered again.

"That was right after I left." I said lowkey panicking because there were so many eyes on me and I kept feeling phantom blood flowing down my arm.

Something about them was kinda comforting. I already played volleyball in middle school even though that team sucked major ass, I still knew a lot about the game.

—--------------------------

After a few weeks I became more comfortable with the team. I could stay clean a little easier but I ended up slicing my upper thighs a lot. I run out of space a lot because I only like Styros which take up a lot of space. The team still had no clue even tho I was 99% sure Kenma knew.

I came to their games and cheered them on. Then I became their team's manager. Granted it was a tad late but it wasn't bad. Everyone welcomed me and me and Kenma grew closer. We shared games and tips for said games. We had a lot of fun but it seemed like he looked sad every now and then. Ironically, it was alway right after I cut myself. Maybe it was his intuition.

—-----------------

It was a normal day at practice. It was amazing how fast these guys could be. They slammed the ball down so hard I thought it could easily knock someone out. (Rip daichi even though it wasn't the spikes fault) I watched in awe and got water for the team. After a little bit they were practicing their spikes and sets and I was chasing balls down. I didn't mind it. It was good exercise but it did irritate my cuts a shit ton. They burned so bad it made me a bit angry.

As I was grabbing a ball I heard Kenma yell "WATCH OUT Y/N". I was a little shocked he could be this loud. I was too busy focusing on the fact that Kenma yelled to move out of the way. All of a sudden a ball smacked my thigh as hard as it could from Kuroos spike.

It hurt.

It hurt so bad.

My knees buckled from the pain and I landed on the floor. Kenma knew what just happened and ran to me. I couldn't help but cry as the whole team surrounded me. Before I knew it, Kenma sent everyone away as he yelled "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM HER". Everyone was shocked that he could be so aggressive. It took a second for people to leave my side. They knew he was serious with the way he was acting so they couldn't defy him.

"I know it hurts but I am not that strong so can you help me help you walk." Kenma said quietly and I nodded.

Kenma pov

I set the ball for Kuroo which I had done all of the time and of course it was perfect. All of a sudden I noticed the ball was going to hit y/n. I yelled because I knew she had to have run out of space on her arm and I knew she still harmed herself. I didn't want the ball to hit her wounds. I promised myself that if I saw her bleeding again I would talk to her about it and I didn't want that moment to come so soon. It made me nervous.

Then bam. The ball hit her tight and she ended up on the ground.

Shit shit shit shit shit. It definitely hit her where she began harming.

I ran over to her and she started crying. I ran my hands through her hair as I noticed the whole team ran over to us. I panicked because I didn't want them to see any blood that might come from her thigh so without realizing it, I yelled at them to go away. Thank God they left but now I have to worry about y/n.

Shit I can't carry her. I'm the size of a raw spaghetti noodle. There is no way I'll let anyone else see this though.

Y/n's pov

I was helped up and Kenma put his arm around me with my arm around his neck.

"I'm sorry if this is really awkward." Kenma blushed a tiny bit.

"Haha I should be the one that's embarrassed since I only got it with a spike while you guys get hit all of the time." I laughed a little.

When we reached the club room that was fairly close to where we were, Kenma sat me down on a chair and closed the door. He looked serious and I got nervous. I've never seen him like this.

"Um so I really don't know how to bring this up any easier." Kenma said as he grabbed a first aid kit from the cabinet next to him.

"What do you mean?" I tried to cover up the nervousness.

"I know about your self harm. That's why this hurt so bad." Kenma looked down.

"O-oh" my heart is now beating in my throat and I try to get up so I can leave this situation.

"I'm really sorry but you are bleeding on the floor. So unless you want to draw more attention… you might wanna wait here." Kenma said really embarrassed as he was shaming himself for looking at your thigh and for mentioning self harm at all.

"Shit… I wanna throw up. This is so awkward." You felt lowkey disgusted that he had to say anything but also that he knew about it.

Kenma, being the awkward person he is, handed you a trashcan in case you actually were going to throw up.

"I noticed since I do it too. I get a vibe and it was proven with your facial expressions and personality as well as the dead giveaway being the way you dressed. I'm really sorry this is so awkward. I don't have to wrap them up if you don't want me to since they are on your thigh." Kenma said as his emotions spiraled.

"You what?..." I was shocked by his confession about him doing the same thing as me. Kenma just nodded and showed the scars on his stomach.

"Kenma…" I said quietly while my pride flowed out in my tears.

"Yes y/n? Oh sorry I can get out" kenma started opening the door.

3rd pov???

"Can I please have a hug?" You just needed some comfort. At this point you would hug a complete stranger. You needed to calm down in a way self harm couldn't help you.

"Sure" , Kenma smiled a little and closed the door again. He walked over to you and got on his knees so he could be on your level. He gave you the 1st hug you've received in a long time. You didn't know how much you actually needed this until this moment. Of course he was careful to not get your blood all over him but he needed his hug as much as you did.

After a while he left you to bandage yourself up and clean the floor. Thank God you only bled on the club room floor since your skirt collected the rest of the blood. The problem was that since you bled on your skirt, it was now a bit shiny and crunchy. You panicked and didn't know what to do.

You slowly opened the door and saw Kenma being your little guard dog while looking at the team practicing.

"You alright now?" Kenma asked with a caring tone.

"Yea but is it noticeable I got blood on my skirt? It helps that it's black but still…" you asked not really wanting to be more of a burden. You felt like you were an attention whore at this point.

Kenma felt like it was super awkward to look at your skirt but he checked anyway because he knew his second opinion would be important.

"Um… it is kinda noticeable. Sorry." Kenma said quickly, looking away.

"Shittt" you panicked not knowing what to do.

"Here lemme see." Kenma walked into the room and closed the door again. He opened his locker and handed you an extra pair of sweatpants. You were the same height so it was the perfect idea. He also handed you a shirt to match the pants. You hadn't changed out of your uniform since it was too awkward for you to do.

He left the room and let you get changed. You walked out and joined Kenna to walk down and continue the hour left of practice.

“Y/nnnn are you ok?!?!” Yamamoto yelled.

“I’m so sorry y/n!” Kuroo apologized like I was a monarch that was going to behead him.

“I’m fine I’m fine.” I smiled.

“Wait. Why are you wearing Kenma’s clothes againnnnn.” Yamamoto pouted.

“A while ago my dog bit me really bad and it was still healing. When I got hit it opened up again. The skirt was gross so Kenna was nice enough to lend me these.” You noticed you were going to get attention anyway but for some reason, being near Kenna calms you down.

Kuroo apologized again and Yamamoto was still pouting about not being able to give you his clothes.

The team carried on like usual and you were fine. The coach made you sit out for the rest of the practice to only get water and to take notes on their weaknesses. You were good enough at analyzing that he let you help him coach the guys to be better. This low key gave you a power trip.

——————————————————————

You grew even closer to Kenna and you always have game and movie nights where you would just lie around and eat and chill. Kenmas mother is super nice and would always make you guys amazing snacks and give movie recommendations. The team was jealous but you both ignored it.

You relapsed less but it was still a problem. Kenma was worried about hurting you but he knew bringing it up every time would be hard for you. Every now and then he would bandage your arms and attempt to help you feel better. Of course since he didn’t really know what to do he would just wrap you up in blankets and give you your favorite snacks and candy.

After a few months you were super comfortable with each other. You also helped him through bad days. You would do the same things he did by wrapping him in blankets and giving him bite sized homemade apple pies. Before you knew it you two were dating. You were quiet but chaotic together. The team was half jealous and half happy about the news.

You had loads of inside jokes and that made people jealous but who cares as long as you two were happy.

Once Kenma came over to your house your dad ignored and kinda glared at Kenma. Your mother scolded you for having a guy over right after he left for the bathroom. Kenma was angry but he knew he had no power over them. Once he left the bathroom you told him not to worry since your mother got mad over everything. This made him angrier but he just hugged you instead.

————————————————————

Years later you moved out together and are now super happy. Neither of you relapsed in a long time and you were both super proud. You pursue your dream job and Kenma is a popular streamer. You lived well and had two adorable dogs. Your dog is a (your fav dog) and (another fav dog). Kenma has a calico cat that bosses the dogs around all of the time. You could never ask for more. 🥺

[spencestyles]

The Other Woman

summary: spencer and meave have a toxic relationship after saving diane and the new agent doesn’t help

pairing: meave x spencer, spencer x BAU!reader

warnings: angst (lowkey), cursing, broken relationship, fluff

words: 4k+

~~~~~~~~~~

Ever since the team and I stopped Diane from killing Maeve, things were different. When I dreamed about meeting Maeve, I thought things would be perfect, we would be a match made in heaven. But after finding out important things she felt to leave out (like she was engaged), the spark was seeming to fade and just genuinely getting to know her personality. Of course our new agent wasn't any help either.

y/n y/l/n

She was different from any other girl I had met. She was smart and a great listener, she was determined to keep learning. She didn't try to outsmart me like Maeve had begun to do. Her biggest talent and asset to the team was her interrogation skills.

"Brian, I know how you are feeling," y/n said to the unsub. "You are upset your dad left you and upset that he left you with your mother."

"She was never a mother," Brian screamed. "That dirty whore didn't know her left from her right."

"The girls?" y/n asked. "Did they know their right from their left?"

"I wouldn't know, I didn't do anything to them," Brian said.

"Well I do, I looked into their background, all single mothers, husband left. They weren't dirty Brian, they were doin-"

"YES THEY WERE. They are all whores. I tried to help them, to help their children. But they were just like she was, a whore."

Since the first day she arrived, I've been enthralled by her presence. Maeve asked to move in around a month ago, I said no. She was so upset it was almost pitiful. It had been an argument that continued for weeks and was heated tonight at our at home dinner date. "Why, Spencer, why can't I move in with you?" She yelled at me.

"Because I barely know you," I yelled back, quickly calming down. "We may have been talking on the phone, but we have known each other in person for five months. I just, Meave, I'm going through a rough time at work. It wouldn't be good for you to move in right now." I made a large breath as Maeve roughly stood up from the table.

"Is there someone else?" Maeve asked. "That new agent, (wrong name), or whatever-"

"y/n"

"Like I said, whatever. Are you talking to her, is there something going on?"

"Maeve, there is nothing going on between y/n and I," I explained. "She is a new agent, she is young, she is like I was when I joined the BAU. I am just trying to help her get settled."

"Why can't JJ do that? She was young when she joined."

"Because JJ was the communications liaison then, she didn't become a profiler until two years ago."

"Whatever," Maeve said, grabbing her purse. "I'm leaving, I need to think."

Thank God

"Ok, we need to talk about this," I said. Maeve muttered something before slamming the door.

Moments like this made me question the relationship I created with Maeve. Maybe it's because I never really knew her. I knew her job and that she was smart, but I didn't know how clingy she was or bitchy and competitive. I don't blame Diane for being so upset. Why was she so upset about y/n, I mean y/n is gorgeous and smart. But she is so young, she's only 24. Tomorrow was going to be a good day, tomorrow I was finally going to make some decisions about Maeve.

Waking up the next morning felt like a chore. The sound of my phone going off was much worse than my alarm clock.

"Reid."

"Spencie, it's y/n," the angelic voice I was longing to hear was music to my ears at 3 in the morning. "We have a case, JJ called me and told me to call you. Which thinking about it is a little strange- wait that's not the point of this call. I need you to pick me up."

"Yeah I can come get you," I said rushing around. "I'll be there in twenty minutes."

"Thanks Spencie, I owe you big time."

Running around my room, I tried to pick my best outfit. y/n loved when I dressed in blue or purple, so I decided I would dress in blue this fine morning. My light blue button down and my tight navy pants, made me look a sexy professional as I would say, so would Derek (and hopefully y/n). I hated driving, but I would never tell y/n that, she is too cute when singing in the car for me to say no to her.

On my way to her apartment (which was very small and in a terrible area), I began to think about what y/n said on the call. JJ called me and told me to call you. Why wouldn't JJ just call me. I mean I do tell JJ about my problems with Maeve and my schoolboy crush on y/n, but she was so upset when I first said it.

"Maeve is literally your dream girl Spence, why are you trying to stop that? And for y/n, now I know she is smart and wow, she is hot, but Spence, she is 24. She still has a lot of growing up to do. Also, I didn't work my ass off to save Maeve for you to end things with her."

JJ was right, y/n was too young and too naive to know what she wanted. Hell, I didn't even know what I wanted. I fell for a girl over the phone and then realized she's not at all what I thought. I should have known.

Arriving at y/n's apartment building I texted her a quick 'here' before noticing her car tire had been slashed. The passenger door opened and y/n sat down handing me a large coffee in her typical reusable to-go cups. "y/n you didn't have to bring me coffee," I said.

"Spence, it's three in the morning and you are driving," you said with a straight face. "I brought you the coffee so you wouldn't fall asleep at the wheel and we would die." I laughed before taking a big swig of the drink and heading to the office.

"I saw your tire had been slashed, what happened?"

"I don't know, JJ called me so I went out to get my go-bag from the car because I left my good mug in it and I saw the tire was slashed. I have no idea how it happened or why, it's really annoying though, I just got new tires." The situation with y/n's tire was strange, I mean she lives in a complex where nearly twenty cars are out front if they aren't in the back lot. Why only her car? Maybe it was nothing special, just a coincidence.

y/n heard my phone ring and looked at the screen, "It's Maeve," showing me the screen. "Why is your girlfriend calling you at 3:30 in the morning?"

"I have no clue y/n, leave it to ring out. I'll get to her later."

This has happened before. When I drop y/n off from a case that ran late or after a night with the team. I get calls and texts from Maeve enraged. Does she honestly not understand we work together. We live less than six minutes from each other, so when we ride together it's not like either of us are going out of our way.

After spending most of the car ride singing to Taylor Swift, we arrived at Quantico and rushed to the elevators. We weren't late, but y/n liked to be early so she didn't look sweaty for the team.

"Why do you hate looking sweaty?" I asked her.

"Well, when our Unit Chief is a TOTAL dilf, I'd like to at least look nice," she said smiling. I frowned. "Kidding Spence, not totally, but I like to look nice because I am still proving my spot on this team and good hygiene is very respectable."

Of course she has a crush on Hotch, not that she has daddy issues or anything. But they are so close and the validation he gives her is a bit too much to be work appropriate. I'm honestly just so glad its not Derek she has a crush on.

"That makes sense, I'm going to call Maeve to she what she needed," I said stepping towards the conference room. "She's been calling me non stop." y/n nodded as she rubbed paper towels on her armpits.

Right as I was about to dial Maeve, her name flashed across my screen, "Hello."

"Spencer, what the hell," she screamed. "Why were you at y/n's at three in the morning."

"Maeve, tell me where I am right now," I said.

"You are at work Spencer," She answered. "But that is besides the point. Why did YOU pick her up?"

"BECAUSE WE WERE GOING TO WORK AND SHE LIVES SIX MINUTES FROM ME," I yelled, tired of her assumptions and bitchy, clingy behavior. "JJ called y/n and told her to tell me we had a case and her car's tire was slashed so she asked for a ride. There is no harm in that."

Maeve let out a large breath, "I don't want you around her anymore."

"What, I can't do that, we work together," I laughed.

"Quit," she said shortly. "Or tell Hotch that she is terrible to work with and isn't qualified for the team."

"Maeve, you are angry. I'm not quitting and y/n is very qualified at her job, Hotch wouldn't believe me."

"Then why do you help her if she's qualified?"

"I told you that last night, this conversation is over." I hung up the phone hearing her protests. I looked over and saw the team looking at me, they obviously had heard the interaction. y/n looked confused. Why was she being brought into this?

The team walked into the conference room, "Garcia, you can begin," Hotch said. Turning to me he said, "We will talk about this before we leave." I nodded. I didn't listen to Garcia presenting the case, but I looked at y/n. She looked like she had been crying, I don't know why, hopefully it wasn't me. After the presentation, Hotch gave us thirty minutes to gather ourselves before we needed to be on the jet.

He pulled me into his office, "What was that in the conference room?"

"Maeve thinks I'm cheating on her with y/n," I said. "It's not a big deal."

Hotch looked at me sternly, "Well it becomes a big deal when our newest agent tells me she should transfer because she doesn't like that she's interfering with your relationship. Now y/n cannot be transferred, she is an asset to this team and the team loves her. You need to sort your shit out with Maeve." I nodded and walked out the door over to y/n's desk where she was getting her small things together.

As soon as she saw me walking over, she began to walk away, "y/n wait."

"I'm going to see Penelope," She said, not looking at me. Even without looking directly at me, the tear stains were evident.

I looked over at JJ who had seen the whole interaction, "JJ what do I do?"

"Well Spencer, you need to either break up with Maeve or get over your crush on y/n," She said sarcastically. "In my opinion, you should break up with Maeve anyway. After hearing that phone call, I think she sounded toxic and manipulative. Give y/n some space, she just got a lot thrown at her. She thinks she's a homewrecker."

I sighed, "I know I need to end things with Maeve, but I feel so horrible."

"You feel horrible even though she treats you like that?" JJ asked, shocked.

"I just don't want her to think I led her on or I actually was cheating on her with y/n."

"You may not be cheating on her with y/n, but Spence," I looked up at her. "You like y/n, you can't deny that. y/n still is the other woman, whether its intimate or not."

JJ was right, I was about to walk up to Penelope's office when Derek reminded us we had to leave. Looking ahead, I saw y/n talking with Hotch. She looked upset and Hotch looked concerned, but when he looked over at me, he was pissed.

As we made it to the entrance of the jet, I told JJ and Derek I would meet them on the jet, wanting to talk to Hotch, "Hey, what did y/n say to you?"

"She told me this was her last case," Hotch said. "She gave Strauss resignation forms and is going to be an elementary art teacher. Now she isn't even transferring. Fix this now or you will be suspended from cases and you will be staying back and doing paperwork until I see fit. You and your relationship problems should not have led to y/n leaving the team."

To say I was shocked was an understatement. y/n was leaving the team. She was leaving because of me. Because I was so enchanted by her smile and the slight gleam in her eye.

Worst of all, she isn't even staying in the FBI. She is going to do the job she said she always wanted to do after the FBI. y/n always told me she wanted to stay in the FBI and then when it got to be too much, she wanted to teach art.

You may say I'm a terrible person for basically emotionally cheating on Maeve, but Maeve and I would never work in the long run. She may have been my back then, but she will never be my forever.

Walking onto the jet, I felt the hostile stares of my teammates. y/n sat at the corner of the jet, alone, reading her favorite book, Little Women. While the book is very boring in my opinion, I understand the appeal to y/n. A strong female lead who doesn't believe in the common standards in her time period. Much like Jo March, y/n was strong willed. She always put up a challenge to the ideas she opposed.

I unfortunately, was Theodore Lawrence in this situation. In love with Jo March, but I needed to show it to her. The only and strongest difference was that I am in a relationship.

I need to end it with Maeve.

That however, will be easier said than done. Maeve is much like Amy March: annoying, greedy, easily angered, jealous, and most of all the one that is settled for.

But no, I, Spencer Reid, will not settle for Amy, I am going to get Jo.

I was walking over to y/n when I was stopped by Rossi, "Don't make it any worse than it already is, kid." Appalled, I looked at him and then the team. Their faces all said the same thing only Rossi was able to make into words. I decided to sit not near them and not near y/n. I sat by myself and created a plan to keep y/n at the BAU.

The plan went as so:

1. Convince y/n to stay and explain relationship problems with Maeve

2. Break up with Maeve

3. Tell y/n what truly happened with Maeve (phone calls, kidnapping, and after)

4. Tell y/n feelings (and pray she feels the same)

This plan was definitely going to be easier said than done. The hardest part being breaking up with Maeve.

The case wasn't eventful and easy to figure out. The unsub was killing people who looked like his wife that left him at the altar. Not once did Hotch put me with y/n, understandably. Instead, y/n spent her time with JJ and Hotch.

I decided to not talk to anyone because I needed to devise my plan. I needed to break up with Maeve, but make sure I kept y/n out of it. That was going to be the challenge, Maeve was going to blame the break up on y/n. I decided to text Maeve a quick 'jet is landing. I'm coming over. We have things to discuss.'

I turned off my phone, knowing Maeve would start blowing it up. The jet landed and I went to begin step one, but Derek stopped me from going towards her further, "Pretty Boy, I know you want things to get right with Pretty Girl, but give her space. Just a little and sort things out with Maeve. After hearing what JJ and y/n have said about her, you should end things.

I nodded and sprinted to my car, seeing as y/n got a ride with Penelope. The ride over to Maeve's house was tense, even though I was alone. I couldn't stop thinking of the outcomes that could occur tonight.

Making it to Maeve's apartment, I kept reciting all the things I could say to her.

"I don't feel a spark anymore." Decent.

"You are a controlling bitch." Too harsh.

"I never really knew you." Getting there.

"I think we need to try new things." Fuck. I had made it to the door and I didn't know what to say without the possibility of hurting her. Breaking up with her is the only thing I can do to save my friendship with y/n. Its also the only thing I can do to save myself from this toxic mess of a relationship.

I knocked on the door and it was immediately opened by a very angry Maeve, "Spencer, finally you are here. You were taking so long I thought something may have happened, were you with y/n?"

"No Maeve, I wasn't with y/n," I sighed. "In fact we aren't even talking."

"Well that's perfect," Maeve said. "Why do you look upset about that?"

I looked at her surprised she didn't understand, "Because Maeve, she heard our fucking fight yesterday morning over the phone. She isn't talking to me because she thinks she ruined our relationship-"

"She did-"

"NO SHE DIDN'T MEAVE!" I screamed. "y/n is leaving the team because you are jealous of anyone in my life. First it was JJ, so I pushed JJ away. Then Derek, so I pushed Derek away. You have ruined all of my friendships with my coworkers and are now making work a living hell. y/n didn't ruin our relationship because it was already fucking ruined Maeve. How did you not see it?”

"What? Spence?" Maeve went to touch my arm.

I stepped away, "No Maeve, this is over. We are over. After we stopped Diane, I thought we would be perfect. But we aren't, we aren't good for each other at all. Whenever I accomplish anything at all, big or small, you fucking disregard it and talk about something you did. I am helping y/n, I like y/n. y/n is nice and she listens to my facts and she doesn't judge me for having feelings."

"Spencer, do you think I do that?" Maeve asked with a fake sweet act.

"Think? No Maeve, you do all of those things. Yesterday you told me to quit my job or tell Hotch y/n wasn't qualified. You should be supporting me. This relationship is not good for me. I am leaving, none of your stuff is at my place so you don't need to come over ever again." I quickly left the apartment, ignoring Maeve's pleas for forgiveness.

Sitting in my car, I quickly drove off to y/n's house. I needed to see her, to explain to her what had been happening.

YOUR POV

When I met Spencer, he was my mentor. Very quickly after that however, he became my best friend on the team. Since we lived so close together, it was common for us to carpool to and from work and work events.

I quickly learned about Maeve once I began to get closer with Spencer. Spencer's manipulative, psycho bitch of a girlfriend that was out to ruin my life. I had never done anything to try and involve myself in their relationship, but when they have problems it's always my fault.

After hearing Maeve and Spencer's phone call, it was a no brainer for me to leave the team. However, I knew that wasn't enough for me to get rid of the taunts I had been receiving from Maeve. And by taunts I mean she slashed my tire. I was offered a job at one of DC's most prestigious private schools to teach art and after the phone call, I decided to take it.

Now, I wasn't upset that Spencer didn't like me back. I was upset that Maeve was making him decide between us when nothing had ever happened. I thought Spencer was cute, definitely, and there were times when we were a little too touchy or flirtatious. But, I saw it as Penelope and Derek and I'm sure he did too.

I sat in Penelope's car trying to focus on the road whilst she was screaming at me, "WHY ARE YOU LEAVING? You can't leave y/n. You just got here and we like you here. Maeve and Spencer have had problems for a few months, it's not because of you. JJ and Maeve also got in a fight because he thought Spencer was too handsy with her and I've barely ever seen them touch.”

"Pen, I'm leaving because I have a great job opportunity," I tried to reason. "I was eventually going to take it, but I don't want to hurt Spencer's relationship." Penelope sighed, giving up her attempt to have me stay. We got our Wendy's before Penelope went to drop me off.

As Penelope drove up to my apartment, I noticed a figure standing in front of my house. It looked familiar.

Spencer

"Pen, so you think I can stay over tonight?" I asked.

"No, go talk to pretty boy, have him explain," Penelope responded.

I walked up to my apartment, Spencer looked at me. His face lighting up under my front porch light. He had flowers in his hands. Daisies. "Spencer, what are you doing here?"

SPENCER'S POV

"Spencer, what are you doing here?"

"If you'd let me in I think you need to know what has been happening," I said handing her the flowers.

"Okay, come in," She said grabbing the flowers and unlocking the door. "That you for the flowers."

"Daisies are your favorite," I said quietly. "You never told me, but you always said you liked the name Daisy for your daughter and I just assumed."

"You guessed correctly Spencer," y/n said putting the daisies in a jar.

I sat on her couch, the one I had sat on to watch countless episodes of Dr. Who when I needed to get away from Maeve.

"Can I explain?" I asked as she walked over with a coffee.

"Sure Spencer, but I don't think any explanation will make me stay," she answered.

I sighed, "Well you know the whole Maeve back story right?" she nodded. "Well after we saved her things were great. I was happy, so happy and so in love. But around the time I started to die down from the holy shit you just almost died phase, I began to notice all the flaws and toxic traits in her and our relationship."

y/n nodded, "And you couldn't see any of that before because you only ever talked over the phone?"

"Correct. Maeve, she is very smart. So smart that she often would say things to undermine the fact I went into the FBI and as she would say instead of something useful. At first I thought it was a harmless joke, but when she began to say things like that in front of the team, it crossed a line. When I confronted her, she accused me of lying, saying she never said anything like that. She has always been decently jealous, she was jealous of JJ and even jealous of Alex Blake. Blake's spot is the one you filled, she was like a mom to me. Now, she is jealous of you.”

y/n looked motionless, "Why is she jealous of me Spencer?"

I looked over at her nervously, "y/n we are very close right?"

"Yes, Spencer, you're like my best friend."

I nodded, "yes and Maeve didn't like that. She was very jealous of you because at one team dinner before you joined, Garcia showed us a picture of you from Instagram. When everyone saw the picture, everyone was like wow she is so pretty and you know, you are very gorgeous and I'm a bad liar so I agreed. Maeve and I got into a huge fight because of that. Ever since, she is like really jealous and then we sorta became a mentor, mentee relationship because you are so young and I was so young when I joined.”

y/n looked surprised. Did she not know the team thought that about her. However, y/n nodded, telling me to continue.

"Then I realized how close we lived and we started to carpool and hang out. This was when the aggressive texts and phone calls began. The team knew I needed to break up with her, but I didn't want to make it look like we were seeing each other, you would never like someone like me.”

y/n laughed, "She was jealous because we carpooled? Did you know she was the one that slashed my tire that morning, I got a clip of it on my Ring doorbell."

"Seriously? Sounds about right. Anyway, I broke up with her. She isn't what I want y/n. I want to be with you. And I know you might not like me and-"

y/n cut me off with a laugh, "Spencer are you serious?" I looked at her confused. "I have had a crush on you since I first met the team. I was heartbroken when I found out you had a girlfriend."

"Actually?"

"Spence, why would I lie to you?"

"Will you come back to the BAU?"

"I'll talk to Strauss, but I think if we want to do anything we should wait. I don't want people to actually think we were having an affair."

I laughed, "Definitely not. You were the other woman though. Kept me up all night thinking, dreaming. You infatuate me y/n y/l/n."

"Well I am very glad we got that done with," y/n said. "Watching you with Maeve was like watching the end of Derrick and Addison's relationship on Grey's Anatomy."

"What?"

"Never mind Spence, we will have to save this topic for another day."

—————

in light of the recent allegations against mgg, i will no longer be posting mgg content. however, mgg is not spencer reid, spencer reid is a character. please understand that at this moment i am working on a new username

* IF ANYONE HAS NEW USERNAME IDEAS PLEASE SEND THEM TO ME or i may just be changing to spencerscumslut

[softhairedhotch]

Ok since u want headcannons lmao, i been thinkin on this since everyone was like... oh is hotch really datin again and spence starts sproutin facts about the rate of male widowers etc etc that just - the team tries to set him up?? Thats why they're all so caught off guard that hes doin it on his own?? Just v surprised. Like it starts out innocous enough - maybe spence sayin those same facts once and the others are like "hm sounds the healthy amount of time, gotta make sure hotch is healthy" so they just start namedropping or just introducin hotch to people or sth...? Pen brings around her friends just v casually or sth, derek and rossi are more aggressive - just straight up tell him, yo if u wanna get to a bar, lets! Until hotch catches up and is like... no.

Then beth happens

(Lmao sorry! Maybe i went overboard!)

oooh i love this!!

(i'm sorry for the late reply <33)

once the team figure it's been long enough, they start scheming

plan get boss man laid begins (although the team do want him to be in a nice, long, heathly relationship, they just like the plan name)

aaron doesn't catch on at first, not fully, but he is confused when penelope all of a sudden starts talking about her friends and what they're like, and he's even more confused when the rest of the team start doing something similar

he doesn't pay attention to it though, assuming that they just need to get their minds off of the case and letting them do so when appropriate, but he continues to find it strange

a few weeks later at an event around rossi's, penelope rushes up to him with someone wrapped around her arm, gushing about how much of a great friend they are and what they do for a living before rushing away and leaving the two of them alone

the person just smiles at him and looks away shyly, clearly a bit embarrassed and flustered, but aaron's easy to calm them down and the two of them speak for most the night, making easy conversation, but nothing other than friendship would have happened between them anyway as they simply didn't click in that way

penelope's clearly upset over it, believing that they would have been a perfect couple, but she assumes that he just needs more time

whereas derek just assumes he needs to get laid

which leads him to begin inviting aaron around the bar even more, practically begging him to join him and his friends (+ a few co-workers) and to have some fun and let loose

when he has the time and can be bothered to do so he decides to tag along but he absolutely refuses to talk to anyone else other than the small group of people he's with, even as derek stumbles over with someone pretty and starts talking aaron up to them as if he's not standing right there, making sure the two of them are taking about something, anything, before suddenly disappearing and leaving them both alone

clearly at this point aaron begins to catch on, now aware of the team's hidden plan all along, but what they don't know is that he's been dating beth the entire time

he chooses not to mention it to them, finding it rather amusing to watch them come up with clever (and stupid) ideas to get him into a relationship

one time dave tries to hook him up with a waitress at some fancy restaurant, someone who aaron later finds out was actually paid to pretend to be a waitress, which absolutely blows his mind (who knew they'd be so keen into getting him back into the swing of things? certainly not him!)

jj follows penelope's lead, introducing him to friends or people she's met in other departments, all of which aaron just holds simple and polite conversations with before moving along

emily finds random people she finds attractive and gives him their numbers as a way to help out, not trying to be subtle about it at all (he appreciates it but he never takes the numbers)

spencer doesn't join in, although he does drop a few names here and there that he thinks might be relevant (although the funniest, in aaron's opinion, was definitely when he namedropped grant anderson of all people--not a terrible person, just something that aaron had never once given thought to until that very moment)

aaron is tempted to let it go on forever, see how far it goes, finding humour in it the entire time, but then he does the race and beth shows up and he can finally let the plan crumble up and burn as he introduces all of them to his, yes you guessed it, girlfriend

they're surprised, of course, so caught up in finding him someone to love that they didn't once think he was doing it himself, or even that he had someone to love already

but they're happy for him, honestly and truly happy for him, and they welcome beth with open arms

he'll never know how far they were planning to go for him but, in the end, he's glad he doesn't have to find out.

[ratcandy]

Could you give me some more hat kid headcanons I feel like shit and could use a lift

Aaahh worm! I'm sorry to hear you're not doin' well today :(

As for more Hat Kid HCs, hmmmnmm. let's see what my brain can scrounge up this time. I apologize if I end up jus rewording ones I mentioned last time, my memory's bad and I can't remember what exactly I have and haven't said hsdkgjhdsg

- I've begun scratching the surface of what her home life might'a been like after reading a whole lot of different fics and meshing it into what I already came up with. High-tech but with big magical influence; I like to believe it has a similar vibe as the metro does - if only because I want Hat Kid to show up in the metro and have conflicting emotions of "CAT!!" and "ohhghh this reminds me of home a lil too much"

(said idea came to me with the rumbi plotline happening in the metro. which. Can I add is strange? That the history of Rumbi is found in a purple rift in Nyakuza Metro? When purple rifts are formed after they fall on someone and unlock their memories?... In the Metro? Rumbi? The Rumbi we see on Hat Kid's ship? Kuzco's poison? I mean, the company that made Rumbi may be intergalatic, for all we know, and that's how Hat Kid got one despite not being from Earth... but. Hmmmmm)

- worse/better(?) if Empress in any way acts like Hat Kid's parent(s) did. I like the mompress idea trust me I do but also I will twist the idea of mompress into something awful and terrible at record speeds. Mompress in a bad way. "You remind me of my mom /neg"

- Hat Kid responds to questions about her age the same way that Millie from Smile For Me does. yknow like "how old am I?.. idk, i'm like 4" "Dude you can't do that I'm like 10." "Don't yell at me!! I'm like, 6!!"

- how old is she actually? An elusive mystery Probably doesn't work the same as Earth years, anyway. Did you know that when u look it up on Google it says she's four. Four years old. I looked this up when I was first writing her for "Fear Not, Cooking Cat is Here" to get an idea of how young to portray her, but. FOUR? no. I choose to not see it I see her mentally about the age of 10-12. Somewhere in that range, u know.

- I know you're not asking for Bow Kid but also: I like to believe Bow Kid isn't actually the same alien species that Hat Kid is. Instead Bow is just some human child on Earth that Hat Kid made friends with and stole. picked her up out of the metro like "you're my friend now. we're having soft tacos later!"

- since she already has her diary that I like to believe she carries around with her, I ALSO choose to think that. once she got that camera, she constantly tapes the pictures she takes with it into her diary. Scrapbook hours! She also tapes leaves n twigs n such in there too. She has no idea what these things are so it's good to have them in her "questions to ask the residents of this planet" book just in case. Once she realized the nomads knew a thing or two about flowers she went to the first one she could find and went "THESE. WHAT ARE THESE" while pointing to a daisy she haphazardly stuck into her diary

- tries to do this with snatcher too but he's not a Big Fan of Flowers ever since The Incident, so he just responds with "get that out of my face" every time and then mutters the scientific name of the flower the moment she's out of earshot

- In a world where she and Mu were friends for longer before the Mafia Boss battle, i like to believe that one day one of them found a giant stick. yknow just a huge branch. you know where I'm going with this. Children screaming and laughing while chasing each other (and the Mafia of course) around with massive stick. Mu finds a second stick and now the two can swordfight,

- myabe i just like thinksgin about children acting like children and having fun like children do . ok

AND that's all for now!! Brain otherwise empty. Wa

[questioning-culture-is]

this might be a dumb question. i’m a questioning ace/aro. and at the same time im questioning if im a lesbian. but i had a crush on a dude for like two years before realizing he kinda sucks and ive just personally not really been attracted to men lately. and i feel a lot more comfy dressing masc although i like the way i look when im femme but its uncomfy?? but i feel in my element when i dress masc/androgynous (this doesnt have anything to do with anything its probably just me preferring a certain style but that is definitely something ive noticed.) anyway i identified as bi for a long time (not to my parents -never to my parents- but to a few friends and sister) and i feel like ive experienced both forms of attraction to other people but sometimes i feel like its so hard for me to imagine myself in a relationship with someone. like genuinely. thinking about myself in a relationship is cringy. and dont even get me started on the you know what…. i could not imagine myself ever y’know doin the nasty or nothing. it would be SO cringe and gross. i still get crushes and everything, but idk. do i just hate myself djdjdj??? what do we think??

ok, so uh being able to just *stop* having a crush on someone/a gender isn't something people can really do when they have a crush on someone? Like picking your crush is big aspec/lesbian culture.

You also say you've experienced "both" types of attraction to people before (I'm assuming you are referring to romantic and sexual attraction), but that you couldn't imagine yourself in a romantic or sexual relationship with anyone. Which is kind of what those attractions are.

So I'd recommend you check out the types of attraction besides romantic and sexual. Maybe the feelings you thought were sexual or romantic attraction were a different type. In that case you might very well be aroace.

Hope that helps, also check out @aspec-culture-is and @questioning-aspec-culture-is

-toni

[everyhowlmarksthedead]

NO ; MADS

HAPPY LOWMAN X READER

@arved asked: So... Would you write a story where you are Bishops younger sister and you ve met Happy, and starts having feelings for him... Your brother won't like it...

WORD COUNT: 2.9k

Thanks to my lovely beta reader @starrynite7114 💘

Author comments: I hope you all enjoy. Gifs credits to: @mayans-mc

Tag list: @starrynite7114 @chibsytelford @dazzledamazon @mara-mpou @sammskellington @gemini0410 💥 (if you wanna be tagged, send me a message!)

You leave your car parked at the Romero and Brothers entry, looking for Chucky to tell you where Bishop's bike is. Your brother texted you last night to ask you if you could have a look at it because it started to make a noisy sound somewhere in the front wheel. Some of the guys in the crew know about mechanics, but he only trusts your hands to touch his baby, so you had to drive from Mexico. The kind man with strange hands, whom you love so much, tells you that Bishop is not there but his bike is parked next to the clubhouse. Nodding, you go downstairs off of the office, to walk through the small alley on your way to find what paranoia your brother has this time.

You run the heavy metallic door with Mayans symbols, raising an eyebrow when you see some motorbikes you don't recognize at first, but you don't give it more importance than that it has. Taking out of the pocket of your shorts the copy of the key, you walk towards the green bike with the intention of ride it to the car scrapping, when you hear a hoarse voice calling for your attention.

“To the floor! Hands up!”

Five men are pointing at you with loaded guns, following the indications of an older one without hair and covered in tattoos. He throws the toothpick, that it was in his lips, walking closer. You stop the engine without any sudden movement, and your hands on your nape. You're breathing fast, leaving the motorbike at your back.

“Call Bishop”. He says. And you don't know what disturbs you more, if the lack of gesticulation on his face or the calm tone voice.

“I'm...”

“Shut the fuck up, bitch”.

Rude.

You were going to tremendously enjoy it when your charter comes back and finds you kneeling on the ground. They try to contact your brother, but seems like he's driving, 'cause there's no answer. Even so, it takes you only two minutes to hear the motorbikes coming. Taza is the first one who sees you, braking abruptly and throwing his helmet to the floor.

“The hell you' doin' man?” He shouts, till all the Mayans appears.

“Put your fuckin' guns down!” Bishop runs out of the dark van, to help you.

“She was stealing...” The unknown man tries to say, confused and lost in the situation.

“She's my fuckin' sister!” The Mayans president is pissed off, while Taza holds your hands to put you up.

“You ok, chiquita?” He asks looking you from top to bottom.

“Not sure if I'm more scared than horny, or more horny than scared”. You answer wrinkling the bridge of the nose, your crew laughs shaking their heads.

“You hurt your knees”. Bishop sounds worried, repairing on the small burns on your legs. The concrete and gravel floor was hot, but you didn't notice it 'cause you were busy trying not to die by a gunshot.

“Bish, it's ok. I would have shot without asking”. You placed your palm on his shoulder, before Tranq lifts you up in his strong arms. “It's always an adventure to come see you”.

“I'm sorre', we didn't know”.

“Yea', did you ask her?”

“Let's take care of the Mayans' warrior”. Your savior chuckles, walking upstairs to the clubhouse.

┅┅┅┅┅┅

Chibs screamed, his gaze upon the skies when he heard news of his men’s actions upon his arrival. You two know each other since your brother became president of the charter, always being a gentleman and treating you as one of his own family. But you said one hundred times that everything was fine, rolling your eyes while you were hearing him cursing in scottish. The man who pointed at you first introduced himself as Happy, and you couldn't help laughing at his name.

At least, he was fucking hot and worth it.

┅┅┅┅┅┅

Night has fallen in Santo Padre and the latin music has flooded the clubhouse and its yards. The delicious smell of Felipe's meat is in the air, mixing with the laughs and shouts of the charters having a party between brothers. And there you are, lying inside the ring with your forearms behind your head looking at the stars and a beer next to your body. Turning your head to the main group of men, you check that the Son's is staring at you like ten minutes ago. You chuckle shaking your chin, putting back your gaze to the sky.

MEANWHILE

“So, wha's she doin' here'?” Chibs asks your brother, who is drinking his beer.

“I think something is happening to my bike, and she's the only one allowed to touch it”.

“Half Mayan and mechanic... Is she single?” The vice of the Sons of Anarchy asks without any shame.

“Yes, she is. But I don't want a motorist from any charter to be her man, 'you hear me?” The Mayans president is forceful, leaning forward on his seat.

“I'm too old for the club, I'm leaving it, Chibs. It was a pleasure”. Happy is the one who talks this time, and you can hear him, of course.

You can see how the man is getting up of his seat, taking off the vest to give it to the SoA president while everybody laughs except Bishop. He walks to the makeshift bar, next to the barbecue, to obtain two beers. Now, you have to hide the fact that you weren't looking at him. The older man gets inside the ring, standing up in front of you. Raising your gaze, you lift an eyebrow.

“Can 'invite you to a beer?”

“I already have one”.

Without expecting, he kicks it away from you, but you don't move a single inch rolling your eyes.

“Wasn’t pointing a gun at me enough? I think ya've already covered your aggressiveness quota for the day”.

“And I think that love was born between us when I called ya' bitch”.

“Is that what you tell to every girl?” You ask sitting on your forearms and crossing your legs, one over the other.

“I'm not a man of words”.

“You don't have to insure it, flaco”. You sigh for a second, raising a hand to take the beer he's offering you without a gesture on his face.

“So, you're Bishop young sister, uh?” He says, having a seat in front of you. After almost one minute in completely silence, he talks again taking you by surprise, even if it wasn't uncomfortable. “How old are you?”

“Twenty-eight. I found him when I was fifteen. My parents abandoned him, before I was born”. He nods because of your words, looking thoughtful. You have a sip of your drink, waiting for him to say anything. But, that doesn't happens. “You have a lot of tattoos. Which one is your favorite?”

It's a cliche to ask about something like that, but you can't take your eyes off of them, because all that you can see around his arms and neck are traces drawing stories on him. You tattoo on your free time, so you're kinda passionate and he has truly pieces of art on his skin. Happy lifts up the grey shirt, showing you many more, before pointing the big and curled cobra on his chest and abdomen. You run your fingers over it, enraptured and your lips almost open so slowly that you can feel the way his abdomen contracts under your touch.

“Man... It's fuckin' amazing. I love the green path, but it is somewhat worn. I think I could fix it”. You say, trying to not sound too rude.

“Fix it?”

“Yea'! Addin' more color”.

“No, I mean. You tattoo?”

“I did most of the Mayans tattoos”. You nod then, with a proud gesture on your face, as he does after you. “I got my stuff in the car, if you want”.

“Sure, I would like to see what are you capable of”. He says calm, getting up off the ring and offering you his free hand, pushing you up on your way for a new adventure.

With a confidence that you don't know where it come from, he surrounds your shoulder with his arm, walking closer to you, but in complete silence. You can see your brother staring at you with his pursed lips against the beer he's holding. You pass them by, and if looks could kill, Happy would already be dead. Taking the key out of your pocket, you unlock your car to open the trunk.

“I got it”. He says going ahead, taking the heavy case full of different stickers on it.

Walking towards the clubhouse to get in, you stop your barefoot in the middle of it, looking for the best place.

Finally, you point the sofa on a corner, with a plug near of it, where you can put your machine.

“Shirt off”. You say, hearing how he chuckles almost in silence, obeying the order.

Now you're able to see many more tattoos around his back and arms. Good god, he can point a gun at you again, whenever he wants. Swallowing and clearing your throat, you prepare to mount the whole show. Your hands are cleaned with alcohol before covering them with the latex gloves, placing the ink cangs on the table by your side. The buzz of the needle floods the club, noticing that Happy doesn't feel anything when you start with the color over his lower abdomen.

You're focused in tattooing and cleaning the leftlover ink that bothers your view, even when you have a good point of light overhead. His skin is more tense than yours, being older and more tattooed, and that surprises you. The Son is getting you nervous, with his gaze on you, but not on the ink, making you raise an eyebrow.

“What?”

“It's the first time a woman tattoos me”. Happy says, after some seconds looking like he's trying to find the correct words.

“'Cause you're a male chauvinist?” The needle stop, staring at him for a moment.

“'Cause I never found a woman who did it”. The smile he gives you makes you tremble slightly.

You continue with your task, stopping some times to check that the ink is uniform in every inch, till it's finished. You take a case cream tube, taking off one of your gloves, pulling it with your teeth, to put some of it on the reddened skin. Happy shakes a little, making you laugh hoping it's not because of the pain he was containing to look ‘more like a man’ and don't get embarrassed.

“Shit! It's cold!” He growls.

“Genius...” You break into loud laughter, while he snorts.

You caress his skin spreading the cream over the retouched tattoo, so slowly that you see how much he's enjoying it with a soft smile on his lips, before covering it, so that the excess ink doesn't stain the shirt when he got dressed again.

“Do you like it?” You ask with curiosity, getting up to admire your art.

“'Course, but it seems like you wanna do anotha’”.

“Seems like”. Cross-armed, you purse your lips.

“A tattoo for a kiss”. Yes, you were expecting it, making you squint at him.

Taking off the other glove and almost laying on the table, you reach your bag next to the case, looking for a cigar to light between your lips. You've seen him smoking before, so you do the same with him. Another way to keep his mouth occupied. Curling your legs on the table and surrounding them with your arms, you tilt your neck gently. He has a lot of happy faces tattooed by the cobra side. At first you think it's some kind of bad joke, until you realize it.

“You were nomad. That explain the shitty face and the holy silence”. You say having a smoke, with your gaze now on his. “A face, a life”.

The Son has an arm behind his head settled on the sofa, and you start to notice that maybe he's not good with words. But you like to read. So you do. Every gesture, for minimal that this could be on his face. His eyes vibrating, trying to keep yours. The way he has to swallow the smoke of the cigar. The skin of his throat going from up to down in a fast move. He's not ill-at-ease, but seems like he would like to hide that part of his life.

They are recent. Your fingers run over them, outlining each stroke. Those tattoos couldn’t have been more than six or eight years. The black ink was first, and looks like he added the yellow one somewhat after that. But when you're about to travel the last one, right before an old demon, he grabs your wrist. His fingers closing tight around it, loosening the grip some seconds after in a ephemeral caress that dries your mouth.

“Whatever I want?” You ask in a whisper referring to the tattoo, watching how he leaves his cigar in the ashtray next to yours.

Happy nods. Taking his right hand to place it on your, the noisy needle is back. In the ring finger, without needing a pre-design, nor anything of the session before that one, you tattoo a semicolon. Maybe bigger than you thought, but at least he's gonna see it all the time. After, you put some cream on and cover it with plastic film, you admire it one last time. So he does.

Time to pay your debt.

He puts a hand around your wrist it to urge you to lie on top of him. His legs between yours and his free hand tangled in your hair. His gaze could say more than thousands words and your eyes lost in it. Your nose brushing in a soft touch, till your lips meet his in a mild kiss with some kind of desperation. And before a last look, he tilt up his head to catch them again. Your chest laying on his, with no distance between both, breathing fast. Your tongues fighting, wetting the other, taking some air by your nose while his arms surround your hips and your hands travel to Happy's neck.

Maybe, the fact that most disturbs you is that he hasn't any intentions of fucking you, at least, not tonight. And you know it by the way he has to turn your body, lying by his side on the sofa. But the kiss doesn't stop, till he decides to attack your neck. You bite your inner lip, pressing a hand on his head to pull him closer, while his teeth drags on your skin before licking and suck it. He's making his own tattoo, even if it's gonna disappear in some days. And you can't help a gasp that escapes from deep in your throat.

Somebody knocks on the door.

“Happy, we should go”. His prospect's voice sounds behind it.

The man snort against your skin, pulling himself away some inches to admire his own piece of art, before bite your lips back.

“Happy?”

“I'm old but not deaf!” He shouts, turning to the door for a second.

“Sounds like Cali is calling”. You chuckles, getting comfy between his arms to enjoy the last seconds together.

“Next time, it will be permanent”. He replies referring to the hickey on your neck.

Leaving you alone in the sofa, he gets up to dress his shirt and take his stuff to keep it in a pocket. Happy leans toward you, placing one hand on the headrest, to kiss you one last time with some dearly that overwhelms you. Then, he leaves the club, with his eyes on the tattooed finger.

It takes you a minute to get up, being somewhat recovered, walking towards the wood railing outside to watch how he's wearing the Sons of Anarchy vest. Your brother comes next to you, adopting the same position but without his gaze on you.

“Did you fuck him?”

“I tattooed him”. You answers with a smooth smile on your lips.

“I don't know which one is worst”. Bishop sighs shaking his head, before turning at you. “He was a nomad”.

“So do I”.

“Es diferente, (Y/N)”. (It's different).

“Yea', él lo hizo por dinero. Yo lo hago por placer”. (Yea', he made it for money. I do for pleasure).

“¿Cómo lo sabes?” (How do you know it?)

“Porque sus tatuajes están rellenos de amarillo”. ('Cause he got the yellow on his smileys).

Bishop bow his head with a heavily snort drowning in his mouth, before licking his inner lip. “I can't lose you”.

“You will not. Maybe he was the reason I was looking for, to settle”.

“A man that pointed you with a loaded gun and called you ‘bitch’”?

“A man you can trust in. Don't you?”

You got it. You've caught him.

Your eyes flies to Happy, turning around to look at you with his shitty face, before getting inside the van that his prospect drives.

[whimsywit]

Hello, I was hoping to get a red velvet truffle...?

I use he/they pronouns and I have no gender preference. I'm an average height and im a minor, I don't know much about zodiac stuff but I think it depends on birthday and my bday is on september 4th.. and I have shaggy/wavy dark red box dyed hair that reaches my shoulders and brown eyes lol I wear neat glasses too. I have pretty cool piercings, I usually wear baggy clothes because I like to stay comfortable.

I'm a very lazy/laidback person and I like getting into alot of playful banter n joking around with people im comfortable with. I am very people dependent and I hate being alone. I don't consider myself all too smart to be honest I'm wistfully ignorant lol. I have a not so good temper. I have trouble putting my thoughts and emotions into words and instead they're more present....physically if that makes sense idk like i said before i have trouble with this shit lol. I try my best to help my friends with any issues they have but I'm kind of awful at it.I am a very passionate person and I think I can be a very good person but I'm just so full of doubt that it makes me wonder if I'm just lying yakno? LOL. I kind of really rather go with the flow of thinks yakno? I'm really easy to fluster/embarrass and I am way too sensitive for my own good.

Random lil things about me, I used to do karate I hated every second of it but I still think fighting cool as fuck, I have awful music taste none of it makes sense I go from nasty screaming music to soft cheesy love pop songs it sucks but im really into singing too, i like playing games any kind of games but I usually suck at them 

I like dark and stormy weather nd hanging out with friends while just doin fun stuff. I really like savory foods as well. I dislike the heat and just being dirty/sweaty, I also have an irrational hatred of naps because i feel like im losing so much time i could be using to do stuff. My fears are being as bad as the people who hurt me in the past, and bugs haha. I really just wanna be successful in my life and amount to something! Have a good job a good house yakno yakno all that good stuff.

Traits I look for is someone who has a sense of humor even if its just a lil bit, someone sweet who will take time to understand me n stuff like that lol.. Someone I can find comfort in without feeling stupid about it. I really admire people who are empathetic since I have trouble being empathetic myself. Traits I'm not interested in are like people who are way too serious and uptight, not that being serious is a bad thing but i just can't groove with it.

Ok thats all, thank you very much :)❤ -👹🍁🌋

Heya! Tysm for requesting, and also in case you were curious, your main zodiac aka sun sign is Virgo (tho that doesn’t really come into play in your matchup mb 😅) Anyway, based on your info, I think you’d be perfect with...

Eijiro Kirishima!

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Gosh you’re giving Tetsutetsu a run for his money with how similar you and Eijiro are! Both of you are passionate yet easygoing people... people (as in people-person but plural? ignore that it was so ineloquent 😅) who are more focused on and inclined towards the physical than anything else. On one hand it means youre unafraid of being close and touchy, and thus very affectionate with one another, which is good news for your dependency trait! On the other hand, you guys do have to study a LOT more than some of your other friends, most often with their help cause its not like you guys are gonna get anywhere by yourselves ffgjsvksdj But being in the same boat and bearing the brunt of it together makes it a lot better, trust! And you throw in plenty of gaming and joint hair-dying dates to balance it out dw ;0

Actually, I could go on and on about all the stuff you two get up to together! Plenty of sparring sessions since he loves a good ol fight just as much as you, hanging out with the bros while sharing savory snacks all around, and singing at the top of both your lungs to anything and everything, since I can see his music taste being all over the place, too. There’s never a dull or tense moment between you, as making you laugh (and occasionally taking advantage of your sensitivity since he thinks you’re the cutest thing in the world when you’re flustered ^w^) quickly become some of his favorite things to do.

Eiji is definitely able to stand your temper—just look at his blond best bud—and always calms you down whenever you rage. He also sees and loves how want to be a good person, help out those around you, and just make an impact. In his mind it’s super admirable that you’re even trying, and effort is half the battle after all! We’ve also seen how he’s struggled with self-image and self-doubt in the past, so he empathizes with your feelings in spades and is more than willing to help and encourage you while you overcome it. ALSO also, thinks all your piercings are manly as hell, and it probably inspires him to get some of his own, which sidenote he looks super hot in so tysm for blessing the world with that 🥺

All in all, you and Eijiro perfectly walk the line between comfortable and intimate. Every moment with him is filled with good vibes as he brings out the best in you, understanding, comforting, and protecting you (at least when any bugs show up for that last one lmfao) like no other while never minding any of your flaws! This guy’s honestly such a perfect sweetie but you more than deserve someone as great as him 💗💞

[misterbitches]

some thots. having a bad time so this is rougher than usual. oh well

....

i guess he really does know hiim best cos if that was my mans (man specifically cos if anyone else did that id take it more srsly) i would be like oh my god ur singing me a love song? i would love it but i woudl SCREAM in embarrassment. UNLESS it was a really deep love song that's about us dying together.

like i want to eat ur skin type of thing (drain u nirvana) lmaoa but i really like this song it reminds me of that velvet underground song (the only one i know cos of juno lmao) and nico or whatever 'i'm sticking with you)

my adhd would be out of fucking control i had to spend my time listening to this looking around i kept getting distracted by a tissue and thinking "wow this song is nice but i wish it would end bc i am getting distracted" and lo and behold i paused it and i have to pee and i know it's gonna take forever to undo this

ok about 12m later i turned it back on and they kissed and then he bit the corn then that night li chen also lost his virgin teas after watching gay porn and being like "hm interesting" and he'll be like "i see, ur dick is not medium sized"

i'm honestly gagging i cannot at this 12 year old marrying his mom

beautiful theyre beautiful

ayea you fucking psycho we do too because he was 17 and we had to witness it (or well, other people did cos i didnt watch the show even tho wayne song is [BEEEEEEEEEEEEEP BEEEEEP BEEEEP] and i want him to [BEEEEEEEP] and ppl even liked it which is fine like i get it in theory but they put this in my eyeballs so i'm gonna make fun of it bc it's fuckin DUMB lmao like i can't I CANNOT and he said "u were so persistent" BITCH UR 30??!?!???!?!?!?)capi hve it on mute and i tried to get a screencap of li chen and mu ren like together and not just his face but i cant find the timestamp and seeing their faces as they get married is literalyl traumattizing i'm like scremaing at my screen going "HE'S 5 HE'S 5 HE'S 5" and every time theyre like "we acn live forever together" like no bitch ur bones rae creaking

also is the officiator white? if anyone knows why or if that's common i'd love to know more. EDIT: HE ISN'T I JUST THOUGHT HE LOOKED LIKE MOBY FROM THAT ANGLE

anyway here

i'm almost done with this fucking bullshit and i am in a really ould mood and usu they make it a bit better but imo it's kind of....annoying i guess balancing all these story elements and introducin gother couples (even in the periphery) since the story in itself can't focus. i feel like all in all the time spent with these two is a lot more limited and we get the feel for the rship because of their chemistry as actors, irl chemistry as friends and colleagues, and hopefully being happy and working on a good set. so it isn't the strength of the writing or production.

for some reason they get like less dynamic ways of being together which i think is part of their charm, they do things their own way, but the writers really should have substantiated this more. it's really just the way everyone in the show has managed to deliver these AWFUL story lines and production decisions (like seriously who the fuck was on costume? lighting?)

like maybe hot take but all the moments that are cringe and insane in the show are not pleasant, per se, because they aren't thought out clearly. so they're not a joy to watch in the normal sense but the actors are good enough to pull it off. i didn't cringe at the talks they had because it felt like actors like acting these lines out instead of us being embarrassed for it and you CAN TELL theyre embarrassed.

this is a huge kudos to the casting director and the actors and whatever crew that actually did a good job. i don't particularly like watching bo xiang and his grandfather husband not because of the content but because i feel like, to me, they're so awkward even though they have chemistry. i don't have that issue with xing si and his rapist brother boyfriend because watching them is actually really pleasant, it's intimate. this isn't to do with the story though because when it hits you how devoid this other person is and how stupid the situation is it changes (for me, for me, for me, this is all my opinion think whateverrrr u want im not telling u 2 ok!)

so truly kudos to this cast. idk if i'm misremembering here but imo the most cast appropriate series in this was crossing the line and close to you. one is a decent atmosphere and execution (yes even with that brother story line, notice the major key differences though because that's a sincere false equivalence. they try to execute power imbalances soooo badly and then fail every time but here's one meant to shock too and it was just likelmao ok girl?)

it may not make sense to say either in a writing way or for the character to do it but i believe that whoever the characters these people are supposed to be especially those super not well written on the page still get that message aacross (yong jie's actor is a good ex. not sure if i should ccongratulate him for having the worst job on earth and the worst character and his character is flat but. ostensibly they should let their actions speak for themselevs but what they do is they back themselves into a ccorner with unsuretyabout their characters or a dilemma that pops up they just want to excuse it. well guess hwat u couldnt do enough legwork. but to some extent the disposable side couple works here on a um "our eyes see them and get it" way

also to me it seems like they chose this story just to have this specific wedding. like it's a timely topic and i'm pretty sure like another provision? (correction? idk) was made WRT taiwanese same-sex marriage so it's topical but it isn't like a "papa and daddy" situation where they're interacting in it and there (for ex: the pride parade) and there being like real life terms and consequences. here it seems like they were like ah yes wedding ah yes dumb couple from modc bc we kiled off the other one sooooo (then outsource them to life love on the line u__u) then hamfisting in some fucking message which is funny bc

- despite the hints peppered in and the clear attraction they both acknowledge ur like ~not gay just him~ even tho...i mean i just. again they dont read over what they write i don't think considering. but wahtever.

- the only gay dude (verbally said) is with his rapist brother with an awful power dynamic oh or IS a rapist (gao) (or his brother but i think it was just a "im a psycho so it's him" thing unless they said it. in which case idc cos i wasnt paying attn but that's also not great) or i guess the wedding but like....that's also a ridiculously inappropriate and dumb relationship taht it's built on. i mean i don't really see much respect her so i dont particularly want to hear abt gay weddings being important when they didn't even utilize it in the story beforehand and have we ever. this is a huge indication to me that it was a reverse engineered chosen story beforehand (if it was one) or thought of

soooooo

so reversal of that....it didnt give us enough time to breathe with these two at all but for both of the actors they can capitalize what's on the page and the writers didn't. like their dynamic is very i give/you give like taking car eof each other etc that's why

again, no artist worth their salt will ever say their work meant nothing. that's a cover up. i'm sick of lazy production and then getting away with it claiming being subversive or attacking an issue by not doing anything. we show crazy shit all the time but it has a POINT and ur point is "i like the gays" then girl.....i mean it's not great

but the acting really carried it. i have a feeling if this series continues it might continue to use more experienced actors cos maybe the budget goes up but they also have less inhibitions now when it comes to acting. i like the way li chen expresss himself and teng teng too. i like anson a lot and there's some angles that did not do any favors and i think eh has to get more control of his body movements (bc he's SO LARGE and thin) but he wasn't bad at all and there were real human tears. of course i, personally, favor charles tu. he has more control over his body because he has...less to work with and he's a bit bigger and he was really great in this role. he's a himbo a bit of a meathead but you like him. you like them. there's some things i think they had them say and do that they wouldn't let happen if they stuck to the characters and the story (mainly liking that dumb idiot rapist)

what i notice is that the reprehensible actions people criticize others for in the show and in real human life lalways gets turned around. teng teng being surprised that this boy's grandfather boyfriend met him when he was a junior in high school and he's 12 years older and him apologizing for being shocked and then whatshisface going "ur better at it than most people" and then the convo about gao with whatshisface and then rapist brother comes to pick him up. they are admonishing gao but thinking that rapist brother is noble for doin gwhat he did (and oh rapist brother shows up) like the hypocrisy and the decisions are immense. so now it's like "guys see he's a great guy" like girl STICK TO SOMETHING but whatever so i live in this universe where muren and li chen do everything right and have lots of different interesting fun seex with all their friends. i would write this but i cannot i am dying

[doebt]

In case someone accidentally thinks I'm well adjusted I'm fixin to have an absolute meltdown over a.) Just found out one of my all time favorite blogs deleted last week (this website is stupid and forming attachments to blogs is bad disclaimer) b.) I got Neil on the "which dead poets society character are you" quiz AND my work friend loaned me a movie like a month ago i still haven't watched but it's ALL OK BECAUSE THERE'S A 1% CHANCE OF BRIGHT EYES THIS YEAR...HOW YOU DOIN

OK FIRST OF ALL. IT’S AT LEAST A 2% CHANCE.... 2% AT. LEAST. at least 2%. have some HOPE. also igotta ask.. i just gotta ask... what blog.. i just gotta ask..if it feels anything like how i would feel if straycatj deleted then god. thoughts and prayers. ALSO I GOT KNOX ON THAT QUIZ BUT I WAS ENTIRELY EXPECTING TO GET NEIL SO LIKE...DONT KNO WHAT HAPPENED!!!!!!!! guess i yearned too hard!!! anyways it sounds like youre suffering heres an excellent pic of a baby okapi to soothe your soul