A vent and writing blog. Where I write things when I need to get my thoughts out and away from it all.
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Maybe in a different life it could've been us.
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You can't light all my hopes and dreams on fire
And expect me not to get brunt to a crisp in the process
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I get it
We would've never worked out
And all I was ever good for was a crush in the end, easy to get over, clearly
And all they truly want is sex without commitment and they can't even love me right or at all
Just another lesson about how I deserve better or should just be alone forever because fuck even trying anymore
They made me feel more understood than anyone in my life ever has or ever will and I could see us together
But ofc it was never mutual, it never fucking is
Idk what to do now, what's even the point in anything anymore
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Recently I feel like my closest friends aren't really my friends, it feels more like they're just there to mostly criticize me and they're being more supportive of their other friends these days. It feels like there's a gap between us and that it's widening. I feel equally bitter and terrified about it. I don't even know what to say.
#vent post#friendship#friendship problems#it feels like something has changed#and I'm tired of being treated like this#but to leave would mean losing like the only social security i have#and i guess i'm just not ready for that#though for all i know maybe they'll leave me first#nothing feels certain anymore
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I never do anything right, can't I just fucking die already?
#quiet bpd vent#bpd vent#quiet bpd#i just wanna d1e rn#vent post#depression vent#can't wait to have to act like everything is fine in a few minutes
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No one, not a single soul:
My Quiet BPD brain: why just be sad over this devastating thing that just happened when you can get full on su*cidal??
#vent post#bpd vent#quiet bpd vent#quiet bpd#actually mentally ill#quiet bpd meme#bpd meme#vent meme#depression meme#depressed#depression#when you don't have much to live for losing even seemingly small things is enough to push you towards the edge
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When they ignore you for an entire day you should probably take it easy, maybe get some me-time, drink some tea, book a ticket to a tropical island, pack your bags, change your name, and dissapear forever.
#my entire mood for most of today#since my only friends wont even interact with me#like fine i get it i'm actually worthless to you
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Are you guys also walking on the planet with an undiagnosed mood/personality disorder, because same.
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it really be like this sometimes,
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#quiet bpd#quiet bpd meme#bpd meme#vent meme#a friend made me feel neglected af today so i hate them now how's your day been
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Me: doesn't have anything to distract myself with for awhile
My mentally ill brain:
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Sorry, sorry, sorry for being me... I get it. I will never annoy you again. I’m sorry... I’ll leave.
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#yeah they texted me a one word reply and now it feels like they lied about giving a fuck about me#just fuck off them#you should know how much that hurts me#if you don't want to write to me then just go away#this about a friend btw
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you don't need to be cured. you are doing your best to live life in a meaningful way, in a world that punishes brains like ours.
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