#incorrect shades of magic quotes

[firapolemos05]

Kell: I must be dreaming. Punch me in the face.

Alucard: ...Punch you?

Kell: Yes, punch me, didn’t you hear me?

Alucard: I always hear ‘punch me in the face’ while you’re speaking but it’s usually just subtext.

[crybabycunt]

Clint: I apologize for anything I might have said. I wasn't myself.

Yelena: I apologize for trying to kill you. I was entirely myself.

Kate: That's growth.

[happygirl2oo2]

Rhy *smiling* [at Kell's door]: "Hey, Kell" Kell *smiling, pulling him for hug*: "Rhy!" Alucard *popping up from behind him*: "hey" Rhy: "Alucard's here too!" Kell: *face falling*

[worlds-of-agnes]

Random sea guy at a tavern: And who's that with ya?

Lila, too drunk to think properly: He's my boyfriend

Kell, the only one sober: I'm your husband

Lila: He's my husband.

Lila: ...

Lila, looks shocked at Kell: You're my husband...

Kell sighs and gives up

[badassbutterfly1987]

Missing scene from the early days

Kell: Why does Vortalis call you babygirl?

Holland: ...

Holland: How about we stop talking for a little while.

[altoace]

I love X-Men Evo, and I have hundreds of incorrect quotes saved. I love all of these dumb teens (as well as Logan and Ororo) very much.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Scott: No, I’ll tell you what the problem is! The problem is—

Lance: {holds his breath and covers his ears}

Scott: Great, that’s just what your brain needs. Less oxygen.

— — — — —

Pietro: Isn’t it weird that people kill mosquitoes just because they’re annoying?

Pietro: Imagine if people did that to other people? I would’ve been dead years ago!

— — — — —

Rogue: Behold, the field in which I grow my fucks! Lay thine eyes upon it, and thou shalt see that it is barren!

— — — — —

Kurt, during training: Hey, who wants to see an impression of my mother?

Scott: Kurt, no.

*Kurt teleports out of the room*

Scott: KURT, NO!

— — — — —

Scott: Isn’t it weird that we pay money to see other people?

Kurt: Plane tickets?

Evan: Concert tickets?

Kitty: Prostitution?

Scott, eyes closed, holding his shades: Glasses.

— — — — —

Lance: {walks in}

Todd and Fred: {making horse noises at each other}

Lance: {walks out}

— — — — —

Tabitha: Every now and then, I like to do as I’m told just to confuse people.

— — — — —

Kitty: {running away from mutants working for Magneto while on the phone}

Scott: Where are you?!

Kitty: I don’t know! You tell me!

Scott: Any sort of notable sign or something?!

Kitty: Umm…staircase!

Scott:

Scott: Anything else? Like a room name?! Any item that’s unique?!

Kitty: Fire extinguisher!

Rogue, muttering under her breath: She’s gonna die…

— — — — —

Kurt: When life gives you lemons—

Rogue: Squeeze them in people’s eyes.

— — — — —

Evan: Someday, in the distant future, people will once again be capable of hearing the phrase “what is love” without also feeling the primal urge to respond with “baby don’t hurt me”.

Kitty: So at that point, people will say “baby don’t hurt me”…no more?

— — — — —

Wanda: Can you pass the pepper?

Todd: What’s the ~magic word~?

*Wanda begins chanting*

Pietro, panicking: JUST TAKE IT OH MY GOD

— — — — —

Xavier: I admit, I was wrong to give up on you all so quickly.

The Brotherhood: Good.

Xavier: However—

The Brotherhood: No, no however. Just be wrong. Just live in your wrongness and be wrong and get used to it.

— — — — —

Lance: Where’s the yogurt? I thought you went to the store?

Pietro: {incoherent mumbling}

Lance: Huh?

Pietro: IT WAS ON THE TOP SHELF

Lance:

Pietro: I COULDN’T REACH IT

— — — — —

*at the zoo*

Lance: So, what are they in for?

Kitty: This isn’t prison.

Lance: So they can leave?

Kitty: Well, no but—

Lance, pointing at a penguin: I bet that one killed somebody.

— — — — —

Xavier: Do you know why I chose you as my first student?

Scott: I assumed you lost a bet.

— — — — —

Scott: What did you guys get in your yearbook?

Evan: “Best smile”.

Kurt: “Nicest personality”.

Kitty: “Most likely to start a bar fight”.

Rogue: “Least likely to start a bar fight, but most likely to win one”.

— — — — —

Jean: Evan, if we get out of this alive, I will kill you.

Evan: So what’s my incentive to live?

— — — — —

Kurt: Are you a morning person or an evening person?

Scott: If I’m lucky, I get a good few minutes in during the middle of the day.

— — — — —

Scott: Sorry I’m late. I broke down on my way here.

Rogue: Is your car okay?

Scott: Car?

Rogue:

The X-Men:

— — — — —

Lance: Mystique is gonna try and have you killed.

Scott: I can’t say that surprises me.

— — — — —

Kurt, about Tabitha: I don’t know what she’s planning, but I can tell you two things. We won’t like it, and it won’t be legal.

— — — — —

Pietro: Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?

— — — — —

Todd: Why are only roosters allowed to start the day screaming?

Lance: Because we live in the same house and I will murder you.

— — — — —

Scott: We can’t tell you because you’re not a member of the club.

Wanda: What club?

Rogue: The hating Magneto club.

Wanda:

Wanda: The fuck? I should be the leader of that club.

— — — — —

Kitty: Guys! Logan just fell down the stairs!

Ororo: And what did he say?

Kitty: Should I skip the swearing?

Ororo: Yes.

Kitty: Then he fell in silence.

[im-normal-about-everything]

incorrect quote turned oneshot :3

Grian: I've come to a point in my life where I need a word stronger than fuck.

Tw: blood, torture kind of, swearing. That's all I think, let me know if I should add more :)

Xelqua had been bad. At least, that's what the Watchers said. He hadn't down what he was supposed to, and now he had to be punished. He isn't sure what exactly he did wrong, but if it's bad enough to get a punishment, it must have been bad.

Watcher One took Xelqua from the cell that They kept him in and brought him to a giant room that he liked to call the Watcher version of prison. (All of the Watchers domain was a prison, this part was just the worst.)

"Xelqua, you have failed us one again." Watcher Two boomed at him. He had to try to not flinch back at the sheet volume of the beings voice.

"You had one job, and yet you can't even do that. How useless are you?" Watcher Two asked. Xelqua knew better than to reply to the question.

Watcher One pulled Xelqua up again and threw him toward Watcher Two. He landed with a hard thud and a snap. He knew better than to make any noise, no matter how much he wanted to.

Watcher Two grabbed him and held him by his dark wings. They once were beautiful and vibrant, but the Watchers ruined them, just like everything.

Watcher Two pulled out an object that halfway resembled an axe, and held it above him. Xelqua knew that whatever was about to happen, wouldn't be good for him.

He was tossed to the ground, as the Watchers axe collided with his chest. Immediately, he could see blood coming from the wound. The Watcher continued to hit him, and he continued to bleed.

Eventually, the god seemed to get tried of tormenting Xelqua, and left. Xelqua pulled himself up and rested against the nearest wall. He couldn't stay here any longer. He wouldn't survive.

He must've passed out from the blood loss, because when he woke up, he was back in his cage. His wounds still stung and he was converted in slick red. He looked around as best he could with the mask obstructing his view and the blood loss making him delirious. There were no Watchers on guard or anywhere near him. They must've thought he was to out of it to do anything.

Usually, they would be right. But he was stubborn and would take any opportunity he could.

Grian was running. He had run a lot of times in his life. From his family, from his "friends", from everything, but this time felt the most important.

He knew where the portal room was. He just needed to get there and then he could be free from the Watchers torment.

Grian got the to room that held the ways to the servers. He could feel Them Watching him and trying to get to him. He ran into the closet portal and hoped. Hoped that it would work, hoped he would be free, hoped he would be safe.

______________

Season six of Hermitcraft has just started. All the Hermits were together, just hanging out and messing around. Mumbo was having a good time. This was slightly uncommon for the mustached man, ever since his best friend went missing. The Hermits were like a family though, and were always there for him

Xisuma was just about to get everyone's attention, when there was a loud crash from the distance.

"What the fuck was that?" Cleo asked, looking around.

"I'm not sure. Mumbo, Doc, come with me to check it out." Xisuma requested.

"Uhm, why me?" Mumbo asked, not sure why he of all people had to go to investigate.

"Just come on." With that, Mumbo, Doc and X went to investigate the sound while the other Hermits discussed what they thought it was

---------

Grian opened his eyes. Holy shit, he opened his eye. Not the weird magical eyes that They have him. His own eyes. He looked around, trying to figure out where he was. He didn't read what server he jumped into, he just went for it. In hindsight, that probably wasn't the best idea, but he's never been the brightest.

He looked around. It seemed like he was in a plains biome. The normally green grass and unruly red shade from his blood. He looked up, and saw three figures looking at him. He froze, scared that the people might attack him when one of them called out.

"Grian?" A voice that he recognized yelled out. The yell put Grian into action

"Mumbo? Is that you?"

"Yes it's me mate. What happened to you? I thought you died?"

"I mean, almost. Honestly I don't even know where to begin to explain what happened." Grian said with a humorless laugh that caused him to since in pain, forgetting that he was pretty badly injured.

"Okay well, that looks really bad. Does it hurt?" Mumbo asked.

"Yes, it hurts, you spoon." Grian said, using the old nickname that the two would always call each other.

"Right, sorry." Mumbo replied. He got closer to Grian and put some pressure on one of the wounds.

"Ow fuck. Actually, at this point, I'm gonna need a work stronger than fuck." Grian said through clenched teeth, trying to not completely pass out from pain.

"Sorry, sorry. Hold.on, I'm gonna get you some help. One second." Mumbo rambled, trying to reassure his almost unconscious friend.

Grian nodded but couldn't say more than that. He tried to stay awake for his friend, but the pain was getting to him and a nap seemed like a really good idea. He passed out, but he knew he would be in good hands.

[fandomsareforlife]

I posted 2,178 times in 2022

That's 1,972 more posts than 2021!

104 posts created (5%)

2,074 posts reblogged (95%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@gay-otlc

@the-one-and-only-aroace

@ninblahgo

@senseiwu

@three-gnomes-in-a-trench-coat

I tagged 604 of my posts in 2022

#ninjago incorrect quotes - 112 posts

#ninjago - 55 posts

#ninjago tox - 47 posts

#ninjago paleman - 41 posts

#ninjago shade - 38 posts

#ninjago griffin turner - 34 posts

#ninjago neuro - 33 posts

#ninjago ash - 20 posts

#ask to tag - 20 posts

#kotlc - 19 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#but it’s totally possible that when lloyd was born and his parents had to file a birth certificate they just put garmadon as his last name

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Kai: I am going to commit a murder!

Skylor: Who are you going to kill?

Kai: Ash. He hurt Lloyd.

Shade: Ask Turner for help. He has a murder plot for basically all the elemental masters except Lloyd and me.

Ash: Shade! I thought we were friends.

Shade: Friendships are a pitiful excuse for strength.

44 notes - Posted July 13, 2022

#4

Who wants to help me write the murder of an emperor by the means of a school full of magical teenagers and some tried old adults?

48 notes - Posted May 7, 2022

#3

Headcanon that Ninjago has like ~6 languages and most people only learn 1 or 2. Lloyd knows 5.

48 notes - Posted May 30, 2022

#2

Skylor: We should watch that new movie, Encanto! I heard it is really relatable!

Neuro: This will definitely go badly.

*When Surface Pressure Comes On*

Kai: *Remembering all the times he thought he failed Nya*

Gravis: *Intense flashbacks of being the adult for a bunch of young elemental masters and being blamed if they got hurt*

Neuro: This was definitely a bad idea.

48 notes - Posted July 9, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

So, one of my favorite YouTubers came out as aro/ace, and honestly? You go girl. You shared personal information about yourself on the internet, and you were mature about it. Thank you.

187 notes - Posted March 20, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[pinkcupboardwitch]

Holland: My name is Mr. Vosijk, Antari Vosijk, or God, as far as you’re concerned.

[theincorrectbookquotes]

Lila: Dont worry, I’ve got a few knives up my sleeve.

Holland: I think you mean cards.

Kell: She did not.

Lila, pulling out knives: I did not.

[greenmaskedmarauder]

Alucard: I know that. I was being ironic. Or is it sarcastic?

Kell: irony is clever so you were probably being sarcastic.

[jr-marauder]

KELL:  sanct, I’m a saint, you know. I’m a living saint and I get absolutely nothing out of it. LILA:  well, you get a false feeling of superiority. KELL:  yeah, that is nice. 

[incorrectadsom]

Alucard: I treat my body like a temple.

Berras: Yeah, open to everyone, day or night.

[portokali]

Kell: You have somewhat of a difficult personality as well.

Lila: Who, me?! I'm a goddamn delight! I should punch you in the Adam's apple for saying that.

[happybookshistoryhero]

Kell: But you’re not armed

Lila: I am!

Kell: With what?

Lila: Overconfidence and a small dagger. I’m absolutely sorted.

[incorrectsom]

Rhy: [texting] where r u and lila? you’re late bitch

Kell: WE’RE FUCKING!!!

Kell: GETTING!!! [Not delivered]

Kell: dRINKS!!!! [Not delivered]

Rhy: ok

Kell: NO, WAIT [Not delivered]