#incorrect tomarry quotes

[possiblylostintheforties]

Harry: I see the red flags, I acknowledge that they're there, and then I completely ignore them.

[tomriddlesmustydiary]

Harry: As the old folks say, we all have our inner demons.

Harry, patting Tom's head: Fortunately, mine's an actual living being and is actively seeking out blood for those who wronged me. Right, Riddle?

Tom: whatever you say, dear.

[apicelladonna]

Tom: You're 'the second worst thing to ever happen to those orphans', what does that mean? Harry: It means you were second worst thing to happen to those orphans. Tom: But what’s the first worst thing? Harry: Harry: They weren’t always orphans.

[coldemergency]

Voldemort: Harry, I need you to give me my snake back

Harry: No! It’s my weekend, we have shared custody!

Voldemort: Nagini is not your child, she is a highly intelligent, extremely terrifying and deadly creature-

Nagini: boop the snoot

Harry: Aww, who’s my little danger noodle?

Voldemort:

Voldemort: What have you done to her

[iamnmbr3]

Diary Tom Riddle: We have so much in common! Both half-bloods-

Harry: Both my parents were magical so not really but ok.

Diary Tom Riddle: Both orphans.

Harry: My parents died because of Voldemort...

Diary Tom Riddle: Mine too! What are the chances?

Harry: ... (-_-)

Diary Tom Riddle: It's like we're soulmates.

Harry: Funny you should say that.

[reine-de-la-lune]

When Tom fell in love with Harry, he thought he had fallen ill

But when Harry fell for Tom, he thought he'd gone mad

[day-dreameratnight]

Tom: I’m looking for my will to live.

Harry: Then die.

Tom: Oh, there it is ☺️

[eris-eveningstar]

Harry: You remind me of a Greek hero.

Tom, having no idea where this came from: Thank you, darli—

Harry: —in that your main flaw is hubris and you're doomed by yourself. Like Sisyphus.

Tom, knowing damn well his pleas for Harry to read more have bitten him in the ass: ...You couldn't have chosen someone better to compare me to? Like Odysseus, perhaps?

Harry: I'm not going to be Penelope.

[youknowmevj]

tom: I think I'm bi

harry: which one?

tom: wdym

harry: bisexual? bilingual? bipolar?

*orion from the back*: I know. A bitch

[theoneofshame]

Voldemort: You can't blame me for all your problems Harry.

Harry: Why not? It's working so far.

[oxydiane]

harry: my old archenemy, draco malfoy

voldemort: i thought i was your archenemy?

harry: i have a life outside of you, tom

[possiblylostintheforties]

Tom: My future partner must be cunning ,ambitious, intelligent, successful and organized.

Harry: *falls through the ceiling from the future and proceeds to put a wand to his throat and threaten him*

Tom: That one. I want that one.

[tomriddlesmustydiary]

Tom, arriving home unassumingly: I murdered someone.

Harry, squinting: why?

Tom: They insulted you in my presence. Are you mad at me?

Harry: Is it... Any of your minions? Draco?

Tom, fully aware it was some Hufflepuff alumni he hardly remembers: ... No-

Harry: Then, yes, I am mad. You're taking the couch tonight.

[willow-jellysoup]

Tom: HARRY WHAT’S YOUR TYPE

Harry: *flirtatiously* you ;)

Tom, desperately as Harry bleeds out: YOUR BLOOD TYPE HARRY

Harry: oh! B positive.

Tom: STOP TRYING TO CHEER ME UP AND JUST TELL ME YOUR FUCKING BLOOD TYPE

Harry:

[coldemergency]

Harry: Why does this potion smell like sociopath

Hermione: Harry… that’s Amortentia

Ron: Wtf does ‘sociopath’ even smell like??

Harry: It sort of smells like Voldemort

Hermione:

Ron:

Harry: OH

[iamnmbr3]

Diary Tom Riddle: I shall now kill you with this giant snake that only I can control because only I speak-

Harry in Parseltongue: Guess what I can do?

Diary Tom Riddle: Even if you speak Parseltongue only I contain part of the soul of Lord Voldemort, the true Heir of Slytherin.

Harry: You're never going to believe this, but guess what?