#incorrect twilight

[shoulderscars]

WHEEZE I CANT--

[notafraidofstopping876]

"'Why don't you go cry about it?' Nice try idiot I already did that"

-Edward Cullen at some point, probably

[unhingeddumbass]

A normal day in the Cullen household:

Edward: Hey Jasper, what do you want to eat?

Jasper, in his thoughts: T̶̰̞̈́͝h̸̗͇̟̍e̷̪͉̺̮̕ ̵̗̈́̉s̴͈̠̤̞̅ö̶̤́̒̿̚u̷̟͚͉͆͆͌̚l̵͍̰͊̎s̷̻̬̤̺̃̎ ̸̧̭͙͖̐̃͝o̷̰̎f̴͎͂͌͝ ̷̻̬̈ẗ̶̥́h̷̝͎̏͌̌̓e̴̹̚͠ ̷̮͛͗͂ī̶̖͚̒̐̅ǹ̴͈n̶̢̫̿́o̴͓̬̞͛͑c̴̱̼̈̿e̶͓̩̫̼͝n̶̫͖̙͒t̵̜̟̹̮͌̃͋ ̴͓̆͑̀̅

Also Jasper, out loud, knowing too well Edward read his thoughts: A bagel?

Jasper's thoughts: N̷̨̖̥̥͕͗͑̅̅̀̔̓̊͝͝o̴̗͙̰̱͙͉̬̩͖̣͉͍̲͕͌̊̃͑̓͆̓̎!̸̮̎͗͒̍͐̓̅͛͛̿̈͠

Edward, pretending he didn't get creeped tf out by Jasper's inner monologue: Two bagels :D!

(Taken from a very old Vine, I just thought it applied to them 😂)

[bellas-strawberryshampoo]

someone on tiktok referred to the kardashians as “yassified volturi” and i can’t stop thinking about it

[aline-the-cat]

I was just imagining how much more hilarious it would've been if the Cullens were in college xD

Like, im hs everyone tries to take themselves seriously, everyone gossip about them and they have a ✨️reputation✨️

In college tho, it would've been like:

"Who are they?"

"Ah those are the Cullens, you'll probably see them all over the place"

"They are so pale tho"

"Yeah, wait until you enter next semester"

Also they would be able to stay a few more years than expected

"Hey, didnt the cullens graduated last year?"

"Apparently they are going for a second degree"

"Wtf why? Are they even alive???"

"Who knows, I sometimes dont see them breathe for a while.... but anyway about the paper we have to do-"

Also I feel like it would be funnier if Bella was an undergraduate and her life and morals are twisted by final proyects and horrible teachers

"Bella, everything in me is design to kill, I've kill before, I'm a monster"

"A monster is Mrs Deborah giving us five assigments and three essays for thursday Edward"

Also, just imagine queen bee Alice being loved by all because she has all the question banks for the tests, Bella loves her and also low-key hates her when she teases her in exchange of them

"Why dont you just ask Edward? He literally reads the teacher's mind"

"I asked him once and he went on his 'we have to be good kids and do not bring attention to us' rants"

Alice, who is perfectly aware he was 75% messing with her: "Oh, I see"

Jacob 'I left school to be a werewolf' Black: "Bella whats wrong with you? Is that leech draiming yoi? Are you turning?"

"What? Noo!"

"But you are so pale, you have eyebags and you lool half-dead!"

"Yeah, its called 'end-of-semester"

Also, consider this: fratboy!Emmet 🙌🏻

[needahugfromesme]

Esme: Edward, dear, I can hear you dripping on my floors. Please change into something dry and mop that up.

Edward: These are my clothes.

Esme: THESE ARE MY FLOORS!

Edward: Then go clean them.

[nekohrine]

when blue foundation said "felling any foe with my gays", I felt that

[philosoforger]

[jabthemoth]

I'm back and worse than ever!

[legendofzoodles]

Wild: Legend, I'm sorry I broke your sword.

Legend: No, it's fine, I stole it from Four.

Four: Ok one, I wasn't finished cleaning it up. And two, I took it from Warriors.

Warriors: Oh, I got it from Rancher.

Twilight: I borrowed it from Time.

Time: I got it from Hyrule.

Hyrule: Wind gave it to me.

Wind: I remember taking it from you Vet.

Legend:

Legend: You guys are so dead.

Sky: WHERE'S THE MASTER SWORD?!

[skully-and-co]

Yor : *treating Anya's wound*

Yor : You know, Anya, my mother once taught me to kiss a wound so it will heal faster ^^

Loid : /overhears/

Loid :

Loid : Frankie.

Loid : I want you to punch me in the face. As hard as you can.

Frankie : Say no more, bish.

[serialorangepeeler]

the twilight brainrot is so real rn

[notafraidofstopping876]

Esme: Carlisle and I leaving for the next couple days so i left a jar full of advice. For example, this one says “Emmett, stop doing that” and it applies all the time

[just-another-product-of-today]

teehee

[bellas-strawberryshampoo]

he’s a 10 but you’re his own personal brand of heroin

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

Vaggie: "These are the wings of a killer, Charlie."

Charlie: "Oooh."

Charlie: "..."

Vaggie: "....Charlie no."

Charlie: "Tickle-tickle-tickle~"

Vaggie: "NO THEY ARE NOT FOR TICKLING-! PFFTAHAHAHAHA"