#incorrect wednesday

[prefer-to-be-vilified]

Wednesday: *is being arrested*

Enid: Wow. God forbid women do anything these days.

Sheriff Galpin: Kid your friend-

Wednesday: She’s my girlfriend you intolerant shit.

Thing: H-O-M-O-P-H-O-B-E

Sheriff Galpin: I’m not- whatever, your girlfriend just landed four grown men in the hospital.

Enid: And… She looked good doing it.

Wednesday: They deserved it. One of them told me to smile.

Enid: You tell him baby.

Sheriff Galpin: You know what? I can’t with… whatever this is. She’s free to go and officially your problem.

Enid: Yay!

Wednesday: *pausing mid-escape and casually handing the sheriff broken handcuffs* Miserable-night Sheriff.

Sheriff Galpin: *whispering* I hate you.

Wednesday: *also whispering* I’m glad.

Enid: Hurry up babycakes, I need my cuddle buddy.

Wednesday: *smirking* Coming Amore.

[unsaid-nevermore]

enid: i'm asking permission to marry your daughter.

gomez: what is this, the dark ages? you know what? since you’ve asked, no you can’t. beat me in a duel first.

[ultimobesomascometa]

Yoko: *throws open the door*

Yoko: So you two are kissing!

Enid and Wednesday: *sitting on bed, reading*

Wednesday: We are? Enid, why didn't you tell me? I would've put my book down.

[caitlynskitten]

Wednesday: Okay Now we can prepare for Enid’s birthday party.

Bianca: What did you do to distract her?

Wednesday: I told her I was practicing animal shapeshifting in the room.

Bianca: And?

Wednesday: I left a Raven there for her.

Bianca: I don’t know if that’s genius or just genuinely mean.

-in the wenclair room-

Enid on the verge of tears: Wednesday why can’t you turn back? Is it because of me?

The raven caws.

Enid: Is it because I broke one the handle of one of your knives when I was throwing them at Yoko?

The raven stares at the werewolf.

Enid bursts into tears: Wednesday I’m sorry for what I did! But we have to talk this out please!

[caitlynscat]

Enid: *practicing in front of the mirror*

Enid: Hi Wednesday! Would you like to go to dinner with me? Wednesday, would you be interested in having dinner with me? Wednesday, would you like to see a movie- shoot. She wouldn’t want to watch a movie.

*door knocks*

Enid: Oh she’s here!

The werewolf scurries to the door to answer.

Enid: Wednesday, will you-

The werewolf opens the door to find a dressed up, short raven waiting for her

Enid: -fuck me.

Wednesday: I’m sorry what?

Enid: *blushing* What?!

Wednesday: What was that?

Enid: Would you like to fuck me to dinner? I MEAN- would like to come with me to dinner?

Wednesday: *softly laughs* Sure.

The raven enters and closes the door behind her

Wednesday: Which one did you want to do first?

Enid: *blushing harder* Oh Wednesday….

[malcanine]

Wednesday: Three words, Enid. Say them and I am yours.

Enid, excitedly: Three words

Wednesday:

Wednesday:

Wednesday: That fight with the Hyde completely liquified that brain of yours, didn't it?

Enid: :(

[vaniloqu3nce]

Enid, walking back to the dorm with her hand in Wednesday’s: So…if I said I adopted a cat, would you be mad at me?

Wednesday, staring curiously: I would’ve preferred you talked to me about it first so I can prepare, but I wouldn’t be mad.

Enid, opening the door: Oh ahaha, good.

Wednesday, staring: …Enid

Enid, innocently: Y…Yes?

Wednesday, deadpan: Why is there a tiger cub in our room.

Enid, stomping her foot: YOU SAID YOU WOULDNT BE MAD! AND HIS NAME IS STRIPE.

[lisalosingstreak]

Enid: Wednesday are you going to the raven with me this year?

Wends: No, not after last year. It’s a ridiculous tradition which I was tricked into attending against my will.

Enid: But I bought a new dress!

Wends: Still no.

Enid: But you are my girlfriend Willa, you have to go with me!!

Wends: Please refer to my previous answer mon chiot.

Enid: I’ll make sure no one bothers you all night!! PLEASE?!?

Wends: I must remain firm and politely refuse my love.

Enid: Errr ok. (thinks for a second) If you come with me I won’t wear any underwear.

Wends: ………

Wends: You present an excellent case. I will attend.

[ivetried27nameswhataboutthis1]

Enid: If we’re gonna sneak out of the Academy, we should find someone to cover for us.

Wednesday: Who?

Enid: Maybe Yoko.

Wednesday: Alright, give me five minutes. I’ll break her soul by finding out her true fears, turning them into reality and therefore threatening her into covering for us, to end her suffering. When I’m done with her, she won’t even remember her own name. Let me get my torture knife.

Enid: Or we could just ask her.

Wednesday: Or that, yes. That could also work, I guess.

Enid: Are you upset now?

Wednesday: No, your idea is fine. I’m fine. This is..fine.

Enid: Are you sure?

Wednesday: Mhm.

Enid: Why don’t you get the knife, just in case?

Wednesday: You are my favorite person in the whole world.

[whyislenaluthorsohot]

Enid: Stop buying plastic skeletons for Halloween! It‘s terrible for the environment!

Wednesday: Yeah! Locally sourced, all-natural skeletons are much more environmentally friendly!

[queer-rose]

Wednesday: I need your help committing arson.

Enid: What the hell?!?

Wednesday: My bad

Wednesday, whispering: I need your help committing arson.

Enid, whispering: Of course, what do you need?

[prefer-to-be-vilified]

Enid: Dude can I borrow your jacket? I’m cold.

Wednesday: *affronted* Your tongue’s been in my mouth. Please refrain from calling me dude.

Enid: Sorry. My mistake.

Enid: *clears throat, tenderly cups Wednesday’s face* Babycakes, sweetheart, cutie can I, the love of your life, please borrow your jacket before I freeze to death?

Wednesday:

Wednesday: *blushing glaring while handing Enid her jacket* …dude is fine.

[unsaid-nevermore]

enid: everyone always asks me, how do you handle your girlfriend?

enid: the secret is, i don’t. i have no control over her whatsoever. this morning, wednesday called my name, and when i showed up to see what was going on, she shot me in the throat with a nerf gun.

[average-woman-lover]

Yoko: Never kiss a boy at midnight. It’s New Years Eve, not New Years Steve.

Enid: Bold of you to assume I’d ever even think about kissing a boy. I’m for the girls.

Wednesday: Girl. You’re for a girl, me.

Yoko:

Enid: Yes, ma’am.

[caitlynskitten]

Enid: *Claws out*

Enid: *seductively* This kitten’s got claws.

Wednesday: Aren’t you a werewolf?

Enid: Aren’t you my girlfriend?

Wednesday: Well yes-

Enid:

Then let me be your DAMN KITTEN!

[caitlynscat]

Weems: There’s a special place in hell for you Miss Addams.

Wednesday: *tears up*

Weems: Did I struck a nerve?

Wednesday: *sniffling* No

Wednesday: *holding back tears*

Wednesday: That’s the nicest thing anybody has said to me.