#instant ugly crying even

[fwoopersongs]

Memory, cover by Zhou Shen on Super Vocal (2018)

Translation below the cut if you need it, but if you can understand or read Mandarin Chinese I highly highly recommend watching this all the way through.

I didn’t see it coming, so my first time hearing the part starting from 3:59 was an Experience. An experience I would really love to share! So... here is the Chinese version of the last two verses that Zhou Shen adapted himself. 

This was supposed to be from Grizabella’s perspective, but I think it is also Shenshen’s and ours as well. Ah, it resonates hard with me anyway. 

我像一片落叶飘零 wǒ xiàng yī piàn luò yè piāo líng I, like a fallen leaf adrift on the wind,

只有回不去的曾经 zhǐ yǒu huí bù qù de céng jīng have only a past to which there is no return.

仿佛早晨田间一朵野花 fǎng fú zǎo chén tián jiān yī duǒ yě huā As if it were a wildflower in the fields from the morning,

这记忆也在凋零 zhè jì yì yě zài diāo líng this memory is withering too.

请你 qǐng nǐ Please,

一点点向我靠近 yī diǎn diǎn xiàng wǒ kào jìn little by little, come close to me;

哪怕一步的距离 nǎ pà yī bù de jù lí even the distance of one step,

留我在孤单里 liú wǒ zài gū dān lǐ leaves me in this loneliness.

只要你愿意 zhǐ yào nǐ yuàn yì So long as you are willing,

你也会感到我的真心 nǐ yě huì gǎn dào wǒ de zhēn xīn you can feel my heart too.

看 那晨光 kàn   nà chén guāng Look - the light of dawn

已来临 yǐ lái lín has come.

Original English Verses:

Sunlight through the trees in summer Endless masquerading Like a flower, as the dawn is breaking The memory is fading

It's so easy to leave me All alone with my memory Of my days in the sun If you touch me, you'll understand what happiness is Look, a new day has begun

[stemmmm]

so far i recommend rewatching adventure time for the express purpose of getting to the fionna and cake series because at some point you'll have it on in the background, practically no longer paying attention to it and suddenly youll hear an imaginary vision of fionna telling ice king that someday across time and space they'll surely meet. or something. wild show

[parfaitblogs]

never grow up ❀ s. reid x reader

in which you are at the age you never thought you'd live to. 

genre: hurt/comfort + fluff! tags: established relationship. (very brief) mentions of r not eating. depression. non sexual nudity. mention of a past suicide attempt. reader is codependent on spencer #anxiousattachment!! mini argument not really because he loves you a lot!!! please know your triggers ♡  word count: 2.2k a/n: this was a vent write. LOL! i think i switch tenses a lot in this? i tried to fix it. this is why we don't write fanfiction while we're crying!!! i love u i love u i love u and i am so so glad you are the age that you are!! continue to grow please!! life will become beautiful!!!

Depression is a funny thing.

Sometimes you are forgetting there has ever been a version of you out there that fantasised about death and longed for an escape from this world you deemed so cruel, so invasive. Other times, you are sat naked on the cold floor of your bathroom rocking back and forth, clawing at your skin and ripping hair out of your scalp because you are sobbing so ferociously. The world spinning around you and your cries, so violent, are making you lightheaded and you wonder if you pass out here if anyone will ever find you. 

Clearly, tonight, you are the latter.

It started as a small pit in your stomach that morning, that you braved through and ignored to the best of your ability, even as you said gentle 'no thank you's' to food offered by your co-workers and forced your brain to focus on work and not the never-ending abyss of dread in your abdomen. Then, it became a tear or two on your way home, that you vehemently wiped away and pretended was never there because it couldn't be. 

Then you were showering to get your mind off things — a stupid decision, really. For your brain was latching on to every awful emotion it had felt thus far today, and you were stepping out of the shower with an even heavier heart, and your hands were wrapping around your now goosebump riddled body, as you were sinking to the floor in a ball.

And maybe hours passed by you. Maybe days — it certainly felt that way. Maybe it was only a mere five minutes. But your loud sobs felt like they took an achingly long time to slow and quiet down, until they were falling into ugly sniffles of the snot on your face, and a raging headache behind your eyes. 

Loud sobs — scream sobs, really — had a lot of disadvantages. The aftermath feeling of embarrassment of screaming at your brain that refused to simply shut up, the scratch at your throat from every sound you ripped from it. The audio block it gave you from the rest of the world. For you truly were in your own universe when you were howling alone in the comfort of your bathroom walls.

So much so, that the familiar sound of a door opening and closing, and a bag being placed down by the side of it, went entirely unnoticed to you. Footsteps against your apartment's wooden flooring weren't picked up, nor were the first two knocks on your bathroom door. By the third, you were blubbering through saliva and snot, and you had heard it. Followed by a very gentle calling of your name, that had your heart clenching within your chest for a new reason. 

He had said he was coming home tomorrow. Which almost always meant he wouldn't be home for another three days, and so, in your mind, you thought bawling that night could be a secret kept between you and your tiles. 

Apparently not. 

He called your name again when you didn't reply, an added hint of desperation in his voice. Trembling, you stood, your limbs feeling as though they were creaking while you straightened them out. And you didn't bother about the towel sitting in a crumpled heap on the floor, nor the pile of your clean clothes sitting on the countertop. In fact, you didn't bother about anything as a shaking hand twisted the doorknob and pulled it open.

In an instant, his worried frown deepened, and eyes that might usually drink in the sight of your naked body beautifully, now didn't wander further than the scarlet scratch marks along your neck — blood vessels risen to the surface from how fragile that part of you was. He exhaled, and took a hesitating step towards you. One you welcomed by remaining planted in your spot — you didn't know if you could move, though. 

"Can I ask what's wrong, or do you simply want a hug?" 

Both, you wanted to say. Both, but also neither. 

You didn’t say that. Instead, you said, "Hug."

He hardly took a second to register what you'd said before his arms were wrapping around you. If he found the slightly damp state of your skin annoying, he didn't comment on it. He didn't say much at all, as he enveloped you into his body, a hand securing itself on the back of your head, and his chin resting atop your head. 

Water dripped uncomfortably to the floor, splattering on the tiles and his shoes, being the only sound aside from your irregular hiccups and sniffles. His button-up was wet from your tears and your body, and you could almost hear his complaints about it, if this were any other day. 

Minutes passed, and even though you didn't want to, you pulled back, feeling his hands slip around to your waist and hold you benevolently. Your own hands reached up to your face to wipe away tears, an embarrassed laugh escaping your lips. 

"This is pathetic," you said, fingers digging into the corners of your stinging eyes. 

"How?" he asked you.

"I didn't think you'd be home to see me having a mental breakdown."

A smile that didn't quite reach his eyes appeared on his lips. "Well, I am." Fingers squeezed your waist reassuringly. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

You shrugged, wordlessly, your eyes dropping from his face to the damp spot on his chest from where your face had once been, heart stuttering. 

"We don't have to, honey," he said. "But it might help."

"I know it might," you muttered. 

He was silent, as were you. A few more beats passed between you two, before you were turning around to pick up clothes you had left for yourself on the counter. You didn't really feel any different under his watchful gaze as you dressed yourself. Accustomed to the act, or simply too overwhelmed with another emotion, you didn't know. 

He followed you into the living room when you walked out there, and he sat down next to you on the couch you curled up on. You opened and closed your mouth a few times, and he lifted his head on each intake of breath you had, as if about to say something. But you never did. 

So, he took over.

"Did something happen today?" You shook your head, and he nodded his own. "Okay. This past week?" You shook your head again, because other than missing him while he had been stuck in Texas for a case, nothing had actually happened. 

You wished it had. Truly, you wished you had experienced a murder on your way to work, or a distant family member had passed away so you could blame this feeling on something other than memories simply resurfacing. 

You sniffled again. "You know," you began, voice thick and wobbly from the lump lodged in your throat. "When I was fourteen, I didn't think I'd ever be this old."

Your gaze lifted from your lap to look at him, and you let a helpless tear fall from one of your eyes when you locked eyes with him. He was confused, unsurprisingly so.

So, you continued. "I tried to kill myself. When I was fourteen."

He readjusted his posture, eyebrows falling into a more concerned state, and he was silent for so long you wondered if this was when he decided you were too much and too complicated for him to deal with. 

He didn't. "I didn't know," he said, instead. 

"I don't exactly advertise it," you replied, and even if it was an attempt at being light hearted, it fell flat. "I just realised I never thought I'd be this age," you continued when he hardly reacted, "and I've been really anxious and down all week, so I think that realisation kind of sent me over the edge."

"Are you happy you're at this age?" 

Hesitantly, but surely, you nodded your head. "I got to meet you."

His lips twitched, but a smile never crossed his face. "You should be happy for reasons more than just me."

"You are my reason for being happy," you argued. 

"And I'm glad to hear I make you happy, but I cannot be your only reason."

"Why not?"

"Because that's dependency." 

You short-circuited, and he sighed upon realising the way you were taking his words — maybe not the smartest thing he could've said to his still tear-stricken-faced girlfriend. 

"What I mean is you should have other areas in your life that make you happy. Not just me."

"I like my job," you mumbled, gaze relocating to your lap. "And my friends."

"Great," he said, and you could feel his weight shifting on the couch as he nudged closer to you. "As long as I'm not your reason for living."

Your eyebrows furrowed. "You've been my reason for living since we started dating. Why is it different now?"

"I didn't know I was your reason for living until now."

"So if you are, then what? You leave me?" 

"No," his response was so immediate you were sure you could feel the whiplash, and he ran a hand down his face with an exasperated sigh. "I don't want to fight with you when you're like this."

"I don't want to fight with you either," you agreed, fidgeting with your fingers in your lap. "I'm sorry I'm co-dependent."

He didn't respond for a while, mulling everything you two had shared and now, your apology, over in his head. You sat, anxiously, as minutes ticked by until he was puffing his cheeks to let out air, and standing up from the couch. 

He turned to you. "I love you, you know that," he began, and even before he had a chance to finish, you were already drowning him out, world crumbling around you as tears welled back up in your eyes. Maybe if you weren't as emotional as you were that night, your vision wouldn't have already gone blurry, and your heart wouldn't be shattering in your chest already. 

"But?" you countered, a sob escaping you at the end of the word.

He froze at the sound of it, his eyebrows turning in to each other, "Sorry?"

"You love me, but?"

"I don't understand."

"I'm sitting here, sobbing really violently and I look hideous, and you've just discovered I'm co-dependent, and you don't like that about me, so now you're telling me that you love me, but this isn't going to work out, and I need to work on myself before I get into another relationship, and you hope I can find happiness, and—"

"—What are you talking about?" he cut your ranting off, blinking a few times, confused. 

"Is that not what's happening?" 

"No?"

"Oh."

You stared at him, and he stared at you, and you felt your heart slowly pick itself back up from the pits of your stomach, each piece mending itself back together. He wasn't breaking up with you.

"I wasn't going to say that at all. Please don't put words in my mouth."

"Sorry," you said, though it wasn't very sincere. He crouched down in front of you, hands finding your fidgeting ones to hold them.

"Can I finish what I'm going to say before you cut me off this time?" Wordlessly, you nodded your head, and so he continued. "I love you, and you know that, and I don't want you to think I'm upset or mad at you for being codependent. You're allowed to not know how to navigate a relationship. But—"

"—There it is—" he glared with no real heat at you, and your lips twitched "—Sorry."

"But I need you to communicate with me. I'm going to inevitably do things that upset you, because you're co-dependent. We need to figure those things out, because a lot of the time you will respond unhealthily, and knowing what I know now, I don't want to be a trigger in any way."

"You won't be a trigger," you mumbled, and he shot you a pointed look, and your shoulders deflated. "I just feel stupid communicating things like that. Like, oh, I'm sad because my boyfriend is out of state for work and he's super busy and not responding to my messages so I think he might hate me."

"That isn't stupid."

"Yes it is!"

He said your name, eyebrows risen, and he shook his head. "You're upset about something. That isn't a stupid thing at all."

"It feels stupid."

"Okay, well, how about the next time I'm away on a case and not replying and you miss me, which is what that crazy, sad, completely reasonable phenomenon is called, by the way, you communicate that with me, and you see how I respond?"

"What if you tell me to go fuck myself?" 

He didn't even need to verbally deny your words for you to know that that response was completely out of character for him. All it took was one simple look, and you were diffidently smiling and averting your gaze, mumbling a quiet, "Okay."

And yes, the next time he was out of the state and you missed him, as he so kindly put it, you told him. And he spent three hours on the phone that night with you, reassuringly expressing how much he loved you, and how little he hated you.

your reblogs and replies are always appreciated ♡

[cindyss]

• - WHO DID THIS TO YOU? - •

PAIRING(S): theodore nott x fem. reader.

WARNING(S): fighting, swearing, smut.

SUMMARY: when y/n comes into class crying, Theo doesn’t let it slide and punishes who did it. Y/n then takes him back to her dorm to clean up and as they’re in a perfect position, he takes the chance to make a move.

A/N: english isn’t my first language so lmk if there’s anything wrong with this 🫶.

——————————————————

Headed to your last class for today, potions, you spot your ex, Cormac and his friends. You broke up 3 months ago and he still couldn’t let you go. Therefore, he found different ways to humiliate you, to make fun of you.

As you try to increase your pace, he plops himself in front of you stopping you in your place. “Tried something new with your hair today?” he chuckles, “or is it your face. All the makeup in the world can’t hide that ugly face of yours, neither the even uglier personality in there princess.” he continues pointing at your chest. “Neither the clothes you wear can hide your fat self under there.”

All his friends burst out laughing, humiliated, you run out of the way and to your class. Before you could stop it, a few tears manage to slip down your cheeks on your way there.

You get to class, greet your teacher and stand with the rest of your classmates. After professor Slughorn is finished with the explanation, he puts you into pairs to begin working on your potions.

You get paired up with theo, the boy who’s always trying to get on your nerves, and you’re given a book to start. You begin preparing the potion without saying a word so the tears don’t form again.

After around 5 minutes, theo speaks “mia signora (my lady), thats not the correct ingredient” of course its not, you could barely see with the tears formed in your eyes ready to start dropping any minute.

You look up at him and apologize ”sorry i just have a few things on my mind”. “Bella, why are you crying,” he takes your face in his hands. “Who did this to you, who made you cry, i know you don’t easily cry. Give me names” he says.

“Theo, let it go, it’s nothing im fine.” “No, no, im not letting it go. Someone makes you cry and i have to move on with my day? Give me names and make it much easier for the both of us.” “Cormac, he-” you say as you sob, and before you can continue, he storms out of the class.

“Need a minute, mr nott?” this from Slughorn. You run after the slytherin boy, “nott no!!” In an instant he finds cormac and turns him so that he’s facing theo. He punches him hard, very hard, cormac almost takes a bite out of the floor.

Just then, some of cormac’s friends attack theodore throwing punches and kicks at him, all which he manages to dodge. He’s quick and slick with every punch, every move. Cormac then gets up and speaks “got you a slytherin bf to take care of your problems then huh you little pussy?”

Theodore throws another punch his way and pins him on the floor, next to all his other bloodied, barely moving, friends. “listen to me you little bitch, come her way again and i will make your life a living hell, speak to her one more time and ill rip your tongue out, mention her name anywhere near me and ill make sure you forget how to breathe.”

You’re clueless, you have no clue what to do, you’re just standing there, in utter and ultimate shock. By then, students and teachers storm in the hallway, try to break the fight. Once they’re broken apart, you make your way to theodore.

He has blood dripping from his nose, on his hand, it was all over his face. He’s standing with his friends, matteo, draco, enzo, and blaise. “are you okay nott?” he gives you a quick nod.

Enzo then starts speaking “we offered taking him to the nurse to get him cleaned up but he wont go, maybe you can help clean his wounds, i heard your dad’s a doctor so maybe i thought you can help?”. “Of course i can, come theo I’ll help you from here.”

You take theodore from enzo adjusting his arm on your shoulder so he holds on, and you swear you could see matteo winking theo’s way. You then proceed to walk him to your dorm.

The whole way there none of you speaks a word, and once you get there, you lead him to the bathroom and make him wait there. You get the aid box and sit on the counter, you ask him to come closer and you begin.

You first start by cleaning his nose, the blood dripping from it. You then make your way to his forehead, you carefully remove some of his hair thats covering the part you need to clean.

As you clean him up, he’s looking at you. “It’s not very nice to stare” you tease. To that he doesn’t respond, he keeps his eyes on you so you try something else. “I didn’t want you to get in trouble bc of me, why would you do that? Don’t tell me you care.” you chuckle.

“What did he say to you?” he asks. “I know it was big so don’t try to lie to me bc I’m the only one who’s allowed to piss you off and be mean to you, hell, even ive never disrespected you or made you cry before!”

“Well, he asked if i changed anything in my appearance, he also said..” theo looks up at you. “.. that all the makeup in the world isnt enough to hide my ugly face or personality.” “That bastard!” you feel theo tense. “He also called me.. uhhm.. fat.” “Im gonna fucking kill him.” The boys swears.

“I really can handle it, but i dont know why it affected me to much this time.” you say as you clean his blood off. “I know you can, but let me. Let me teach that bastard a lesson.” “Fighting is not the solution though theodore.” “I know mia cara but I couldn’t control myself, i really didnt mean to but i lost control.” you could see the regret in his eyes.

“Its fine, just really appreciated that, thanks for everything nott.” You give him a small smile. You then start cleaning the blood on his mouth, placing your fingers on his lips, you make sure to clean everything thats left.

“Listen to me,” he cups your face, “he’s a dickhead for not seeing how great of a personality you have, you acquire a great personality, when youre caring and some times even when ur mean.” He gives you a little wink and lets out a snort.

“Thanks” you smile at him then slap a bandage on his nose, to stop his nose from bleeding. After theo realizes you’re done, his hands travel down to remove his own shirt. “Wh-“. Your eyes immediately travel to his abs body, his ab lines, it was if they were drawn on pen and paper.

“Its not very nice to stare,” he teases. “my stomach is also hurt, if you can’t help me with this ill just go back to my dorm” he says with a playful smirk. “No, no i can do something about it.” you get your stuff ready for a second round and then speak “this might hurt a little.”

You then raise the cloth with liquid on it in your hand and place it on his wound. He flinches at the pain and since he’s placed between your legs while you’re sat on the counter, he grabs onto your thigh. He gives it a little squeeze, “fuck cara mia, this hurts like a bitch” he closes his eyes in pain.

“Sorry Theo im almost done.” You apologize. As you finish, Theo looks down at you as you’re still placed on the counter in front of him. “You liked touching my abs didn’t you.” He smiled cockily at you. “As if you didn’t like my hands touching them.” Right back him. “and found a way to touch my thigh.”

“Listen to me, i got you caged up right here,” he says with his hands on either sides of you, “i can do whatever i want to you so you better shut your pretty little mouth up or i wont be able to control myself.” You blush at his comment and try to hide behind your hair to which he tucks it behind your ear.

“You’re so sexy when you’re nervous and shy like that bella ragazza.” He says. “Oh shut up, what does bella ragazza even mean?” you ask, genuine confusion taking over your face. “It means pretty girl.” He smirks. “You think im pretty then hm?” you blush.

He looks at your eyes, stares to be specific, then he looks at your lips for a few seconds before grabbing your face and connecting your lips. You place your hands on his shoulders as the kiss deepens. “Such a pretty girl, a perfect one.” He says in between kisses.

“fuck nott” you say as he places his hand on your cheek to deepen the kiss. He manages to slip his tongue inside your mouth which you moan slightly to. You feel the heat of your body as he places his hands under your thighs and carries you in his arms.

“But it’ll hurt you, nott we cant.” you speak, worried. “Cara mia, you really thought i was hurting?” he smirks, your eyes widen in surprise, you connect your lips again, as he carries you to your bed. He lays you there and removes your shirt slowly and carefully. He then removes the rest of your clothes and begins leaving trails of kisses on your stomach, your hands travel to his hair, playing with it as your stomach tenses at the feeling.

“So perfect,” he mumbles while still trailing kisses on every inch of skin he could get to. “you’re fucking perfect.” The blush takes over your face, uncontrollably making its way to touch ur ears.

His fingers slide down your hips to catch the lace of your panties, getting rid of them. He spreads your legs further and begins kissing the inside of your thighs. He then places a finger on your clit, rubbing circles around it, slowly at first. His movements then quicken, and he includes his tongue. In sync, his fingers circling your clit his tongue licking your clit, you could feel your pre-cum already.

He was so good at this, he was also good at teasing, you arch your back slightly in attempt to speed things up but he uses one hand to push you back down carefully. Then, he pushes 2 fingers inside you with no warning, you moan at the sudden feeling and tug at his hair.

As his tongue and fingers work in sync to throw you over the edge, he adds a third finger in and proceeds to throw your legs over his shoulders. Your feet dig into his skin as he speeds up his movements, back arching so that his face is practically buried in you, one hand grabbing the sheets, the other his hair.

“theo.. im gonna.. fuck!!” you struggle. “do it mia cara, cum on my face.” As he quickens his movements, you tense around him as he guides you through ur high. As you release, Theodore licks you clean, he then moves back up to you kissing you hungrily. “That was fucking amazing.” You praise him. “I don’t think i can walk anymore.” “Well, we’re not quite done yet, i still didnt make love to you yet.”

theo says, smirking as he removes his clothes. He’s just left in his boxers and when he reveals his hard and huge bulge, you gasp out loud. “I didn’t know this is what we’re dealing with, i dont think it’s gonna fit.” you look at theo “we’ll make it fit.” he smirks. Oh. God.

He spreads your legs again, and begins kissing you, at first it’s slow, his tongue slips inside your mouth. “You wanna be on top?” he asks. You nod and he flips over so that you’re laying on top of him. You position yourself properly and once you’re ready, you lower yourself slowly taking most of him in.

You then start moving up and down, riding him. Your hands lying on his stomach as you do so. “Think you can handle more of me?” he suggests. “I can try.” You smirk as you flip so he’s on top of you. He spreads your legs even further, as you take him all in. You moan his name at the feeling and he leans down to kiss you, you moan a few times into his mouth before he moves to kissing your neck. You grab onto the bed sheets for dear life as he kisses your neck on the weak spot.

“Cavolo, posso farlo tutto il giorno. mi prendi così perfettamente.” he says something in italian. (Fuck, i can do this all day. you take me so perfectly.) You can feel yourself ready to come again so you warn him, he also lets you know that he’s about to come too. “Come inside me” you say. Just then, you both reach your highs and come together.

After you’re done, theo lays next to you, “yknow you’re actually the prettiest girl ive seen.” he praises. You blush as he keeps speaking. “Ive wanted to do this a long time ago, but i was so scared of you.” “Me?” You chuckle. “Then why were you always rude to me?” “I thought getting on your nerves was the only way to talk to you.”

You look at him and laugh some before he gets up and runs to turn the water on. “Come, let’s get cleaned up before any of my friends decide to show up.” He speaks. “They know my room number?” you ask confused. “Of course they do.” He smiles before disappearing into the bathroom again. “Nott!!” you call his name, “i dont think i can walk.” He leaves the bathroom chuckling and heads toward you to carry you there.

[longagoitwastuesday]

I must admit reading Cyrano de Bergerac gets a little funny at times as someone who has a hard time considering people pretty if they don't have an enormous or crooked nose

[chiikasevennn]

Ironically Horny

Sung Jinwoo x Fem!Reader

Warning(s): SMUT, 18+, YK THE DRILL 🙄😠 (i hate writing but woowoo x reader/oc writers are not that many and it kills me), ugly writing i did not proofread anything, aphrodisiac, no plot just porn, belly bulge, lmk if I'm missing smth else! Thanks

A/N: guys, idk what i'm doing /srs, so please beware—I might be insane as I wrote this. I'M LOOKING AT YOU. This ain't canon ok? Also, [N. Name] means nickname!! Guys, pls comment....

"Hu… angh!" You clenched the bedsheets abrasively as you realized that indulging feeling kick in your lower belly again.

A bulge continuously vanished and reappeared with each thrust this bastard, Sung Jinwoo, gave you. With a numb mind, you looked at the headboard with your eyes remained moist with tears as the raven haired man ruin you completely with his cock.

He was big. A bit too big.

"Jin'oo, ah… hic," your head attempted to raise but failed and fell flat against the pillow. The sound of his grunting made you weak although you knew this sort of act wasn't romantic at all.

Jinwoo flipped your body, making you view his rock-hard and impressive abs—but he realized that it was completely useless as you clearly couldn't even see it properly as your mind had gone blank long ago because of his relentless pounding.

In the stillness of the night, his rough shoving echoed through your bedroom. Jinwoo watched you cry, you, who was always tough-looking.

Jinwoo traced his fingers along your neck and placed a hickey there. He did it once, twice, and before he knew it, he couldn't stop until he realized he finally came again for the nth time.

So, how did you guys end up like this? Well—

"What the—I-I'm poisoned?" Your displeasure was clear as Jinwoo looked at you, and it appeared that you were looking at your system albeit not visible in his eyes.

"What do you mean?"

"System said ordinary potions wouldn't work, not to mention, I'm no healer either."

"What?"

You contemplated the words written on the blue screen despite the multiple times you've analyzed it. When new words began to appear and soon you understood, your face went pale.

"[Name]?" Jinwoo had never seen you like this before. He felt a knot of worry twisting in his stomach. It was so unlike you to be this troubled.

"Jinwoo, please kill me."

"What???"

He saw your lifeless eyes, as if you failed to accept something too deep. "Kill me. Living is already humiliating enough."

"What's wrong with you? What did the system say, anyway?"

"I'd…" cheeks burning in mortification, you ended up crouching. "Oh, Lords, this is so fucking embarrassing. The hell." You whispered the last part.

You cursed like a mantara and Jinwoo watched as you slowly lost your mind.

"Just—" he almost sighed. "What does it say?"

"I… I have to…" The other player had never once witnessed you falter with your words nor look as if you wanted to disappear right this instant. "Sex… Do intimate shit. Oh…? …! Fuck, it also told me it's not poison, but an aphrodisiac!"

Jinwoo was speechless.

"... Where in the world am I gonna find a sex partner?"

That was a problem, until he offered himself.

He was just being… helpful.

Your body trembled. Letting out a strangled moan, your eyes began to be coated with tears as you recognized Jinwoo's hot spill inside of you beginning to form.

He was a quick learner, once he grasped how much touching your clit and hitting that sweet spot slightly above pleasured you, he didn't back down. No, not after he was told that possible complications might arise if he didn't help you sooner. Not to mention, there was a time limit. A time limit that he had to cum inside you (he was given 2 hours to spill his seed inside for at least 7 times, just what the fuck?) to cure whatever dilemma that monster had thrown at you. It was ridiculous.

Initially, he didn't think it'd work in one hundred and twenty minutes, but after he'd made you cum and squirt for the first time, God knew how much he wanted you right then and there.

One more to go. Jinwoo pulled you closer to his pelvis, not daring to pull his cock out. Sweat was all over the two of you, but he had no time to stop, for he only had 10 minutes left to finish this.

He unexpectedly stopped his plan momentarily when you whined. What? Had he lost track? Maybe you were starting to get uncomfortable since he'd been rough on you for almost two hours. He should stop—

"Jin'oo…" you sobbed softly. He swore he'd never seen anything so beautiful before. "'t hurts… Hurry… D-don't stop… Please."

He looked down at you like a predator and breathed heavily at the sight of you. He sat up, shoulders broad as he held your waist, his dick twitching inside you. Was he getting worked up? Fuck.

Ablush crept up to his face at your adorable begging, but he knew you were out of consciousness as we speak. If you keep nicely pleading him to fuck you, then he might not be able to stop.

He scrutinized your gorgeous body that he secured in his hold. Jinwoo tried to push his dick deeper to which you cried at—and seeing that bulge on your lower stomach made him slightly (so) proud. It was nice that he could touch something that could stand as a proof that he was inside you.

"You…" He leaned down and kissed your temple. You grabbed his cheek and caught his lips into a deep kiss. Jinwoo wasn't able to help himself but return the gesture with equal reason.

The raven haired man didn't pull away until he felt your breath running out and again, he blushed red as he gazed at your panting situation.

He ruined you in a good way.

"Let's finish this, all right?" He kissed your temple so sweetly. "I'm sorry, I have to go rougher since we only have a few minutes left, but I can't risk any future difficulty happening to you, [N. Name]."

You nodded eagerly, and before you knew it, you were being pounded into oblivion again.

[o-sachi]

Every Single Thing I Have ₊⊹ One Shot

ଳ Character; Michael Kaiser (Bllk)

ଳ Tags; mostly fluff, a bit of angst (happy ending), soft mihya, gn reader, no y/n

ଳ Note; inspired by Two by Sleeping at Last!

Selfish. Manipulative. Cold.

Those were the words often associated to him. You were well aware of what he was like on the field or how he treated others. But you could never seem to agree with them.

To you, Michael Kaiser was the most selfless and loving person you've come across in your life.

Sweetheart, you look a little tired When did you last eat? Come in and make yourself right at home Stay as long as you need

You knew the hardships that came with dating a football star. Everything else you could stomach, but to be away from him for weeks on end was something you couldn't overcome. So, whenever he left the country, he'd tell you to stay at his place for the time being. It's not quite the same as having him around, but to live in his space was comforting enough.

You'd sleep in his bed, occasionally use his clothes, and even bathe with his shampoo at times—all just to feel that he's right here with you. Sometimes he wonders why you haven't moved in yet.

You'd always say that you want to be financially stable first, not wanting to freeload off of him. But he scoffs each time.

"Love, I don't give a shit about that. I just want you here in my home," he'd always say.

His place was as good as yours. Parts of the apartment were decorated how you'd want it. You even had more products in the bathroom than he did. He'd integrate you in every particle of his life if he could.

Whenever he was around, he made sure you lived like royalty. You aren't allowed to lift a finger on his watch.

"Mihya, can you please just sit down for a moment? You just came home from practice remember?"

As always, he'd ignore you. "I'm only making dinner. No big deal."

"We can have our food delivered, so you can rest. Y'know?"

"And have you eat junk like fast food? No thanks," he retorts. Truthfully, as much as he cared about your health, he actually wanted to cook because it would be faster than waiting for a delivery. It had been hours since his last meal. It was often like that when he had practice. Time flies and eating becomes an after thought. But he never tells you that; he never wants you to worry about him.

You grumble. "Please, Mihya? I'll order us some food and you come here and cuddle with me instead."

You drive a hard bargain, he thought. Food can wait. He shuffled towards you on the sofa and plopped right beside you. His tattooed arm drapes over you in an instant.

You smile, knowing the hold you had over him.

Even with the bags under his eyes, he was still so handsome. Cupping his face, you caressed his cheek with your thumb. "Have you been sleeping well? Look at these bags."

He offers a lopsided smile in return. "If you think I'm ugly just say so."

You giggle at his dramatics. "You are literally the most beautiful man I've laid eyes upon," you say while pinching his cheek. "But seriously, are you getting enough sleep? You work too hard sometimes." He sighs, leaning into your touch. He brings up his hand to hold yours. "I get to sleep beside you later no? That's all that matters to me, love."

Tell me, is something wrong? If something's wrong, you can count on me You know I'll take my heart clean apart If it helps yours beat

If there's one thing in the world he hates more than himself, it was to see you in pain. Your tears were his kryptonite. Part of him hated to see you cry because he loved you too much. But another hated it because it reminded him of all the times he would cry when he was younger.

Hot salty tears triggered him; it stirred unwanted emotions within him. But he had to suck it up whenever you needed a shoulder to cry on. One of you had to stay strong and he'd gladly be the one to fill in the role.

He'd hold you—cradle you until everything was alright again. "Shhh, it's alright I'm here. I'm not going anywhere."

Kaiser had you in his arms. His grasp was as gentle as his words. It soothed you. Even if your eyes were swollen and muddled with tears, you could still see the pain in his eyes. It tugged at your heart knowing he felt so deeply for you. You'd go on a tangent about how cruel and unfair the world is—and he would agree. He had many things to say as well, but he had to put you first.

You'd cry and cry until you can't anymore. Exhaustion takes over and you simply pass out on his bed, unaware of the inner turmoil brewing inside of him. Kaiser sat beside you, weary face buried in his calloused palms. He wanted to cry as well.

But he couldn't because then you'd wake up.

It's okay if you can't find the words Let me take your coat And this weight off of your shoulders

You were the luckiest person in the world. Kaiser was everything—handsome, talented, financially stable, loving, and secure. At least... that's what you thought.

It wasn't your fault that he had an ongoing battle in his mind. If you knew, no doubt that you would help him. But he made sure to leave you disillusioned with his well-crafted facade.

When he's with you, he's all smiles. He's always strong enough for the both of you. When you're down—he's there to lift you up. And when you're at your highest—he's just right behind you, cheering you on.

He only wallows in his self-pity when he's alone—when you're far away from him. He couldn't bear the idea of you finding out how weak he truly was. He was scared that one day you'll realize what piece of trash he is for lying to you all this time.

Like a force to be reckoned with A mighty ocean or a gentle kiss I will love you with every Single thing I have

"Love, what do you want for your birthday?" You hum, tapping a finger on your chin as if to show him you were thinking hard. After a while, you come up with your answer.

"I just want you. That's all." His eyes widen for moment, but he quickly composes himself. He knew you were a simple person, but he expected something material... something of value. To think you'd settle for something so little was preposterous.

"That's all? You don't want a necklace or?"

Then your eyes light up. Ah... there it was. He got his hopes up too early. Of course, you want something expensive—something nice that actually had value and—

"How about we make those friendship bracelets? Y'know like we could DIY them with our own beads then make each other a bracelet? Can weeee?"

"For your birthday?" he asked quizzically. Kaiser was taken aback. What about the necklace? Were you really that easy to please? "Yes, for my birthday. I mean... we could go out to dinner or something. I'm fine with anything as long as you're there." He falls silent. Kaiser had never felt this before... the feeling of being needed. He knows he probably looks like an idiot, staring at you like he had seen a ghost. But he couldn't help it. His heart was throbbing and that was the only thing he could focus on.

Your expression drops as soon as you see his blank stare. "Hey... I mean, if bracelets aren't your thing then—" He cuts you off with a hug. It took you a while to reciprocate because it came out of nowhere. Sure, he hugs you all the time, but this hug in particular felt heavy—like it had some meaning behind it.

"Mihya? Are you okay?" you ask, wrapping your arms around him in response. And he'd hold you tighter. He'd screw his eyes shut, savoring your warmth as if it was only temporary. "Let's do those bracelets... just tell me where we can buy the beads."

He would gladly buy every single kind and more. He'd give you everything... everything that he could.

Like a tidal wave, we'll make a mess Or calm waters, if that serves you best I will love you without any strings attached

You liked to repay him in little ways. Of course, you weren't required to do so, but you wanted to. It felt like a crime to not give back to the overwhelming love that he offers up to you.

That's why you found yourself in his kitchen at 10 in the evening, hunched over on the counter and eyeing the sorry excuse of a cake you just made.

He had recently won a practice match. It wasn't anything major, but you made it a point to celebrate every single achievement of his. However, it was the first time you attempted to bake something for him. You had envisioned for him to come home from practice and be greeted by a freshly baked chocolate cake.

But you messed it up. Somehow, it ended up both undercooked and overcooked. It was impressive in its own right.

You wanted to start over from scratch, but he was already on his way home. In fact, you were so absorbed in your failure that you missed the sound of the door opening and closing.

"Love? Where are you? I smell something burnt..."

He pokes his head into the kitchen and finds you slumped over with a brown lump on a plate in front of you. He walks over to you and rubs your back comfortingly.

"I wanted to make a cake, but... it looks like shit."

He laughs. "What for?"

Your sad eyes met his amused expression, arms instinctively wrapping around him. You were embarrassed by your subpar baking skills that you had to hide your face from him. "The practice match you won yesterday." His chest booms with laughter and he brings a hand to gently caress your hair. "It's alright, love. I appreciate the gesture." Peeling away from him, you couldn't help but look at the cake with disdain. "Yeah, but it's inedible."

Kaiser raises an eyebrow at you. He picks up the fork nearby and takes a piece of the cake. It was gooier than what you expected. "Hey! Don't eat it!" But it was too late, he had shoved the piece in his mouth and was already chewing. You watched in horror as he swallowed what might be undercooked batter.

"Tastes like cake to me." Your jaw drops. "You could've eaten the cooked part you know?" "Heh, where is the cooked part you speak of?" You pretended to be offended. There probably wasn't any perfectly cooked parts on this cake, but he didn't have to rub it in your face like that.

But you both laughed it off. You spent that night with him chatting over your poor chocolate cake. Kaiser was just happy that you went out of your way to do something for him. Truly, he didn't need anything in return. He loved you because... that's what he thinks he was made for.

The cake was shit, but for some reason it tasted so good when he ate it with you.

It's okay if you can't catch your breath You can take the oxygen straight Out of my own chest

As perfect as you deem your relationship to be, of course, there were misunderstandings here and there. They were usually fixed with a simple "sorry" and a warm hug.

But this time was different. It was a full blown fight. Perhaps both of you were tired and frustrated. Neither of you even noticed it had turned into a shouting match—not until Kaiser felt a familiar and haunting pang in his chest.

Images of his father crossed his mind. He was reminded of the hurtful things the old man hurled at him. Suddenly, he lost the will to fight back. It wasn't long before you noticed the shift in the atmosphere.

Silence enveloped the both of you as you stood apart from each other. You had never seen this expression on his face before. As much as he hated vulnerability, he croaked out words faster than he could realize.

"Please don't leave me."

It was soft enough that if it were any lower, you probably would have missed it. You were frozen in place. You were fighting, but it had never occurred to you the desire to leave him. Why would he say such a thing?

"Mihya?" You cautiously walked towards him and took his hands in yours. "I never thought about leaving you." He focused on the way your thumbs brushed over his knuckles. It was foreign to him—how he could be shouted at and comforted right after.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean for you to think that way," you apologized.

Then... a tear rolled down his cheek. You swore your heart fell to your stomach. Kaiser had never cried in front of you before.

"Mihya? I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I promise I'm not going to leave you..."

Your hands let go of his to hold on to his arms instead. "Please talk to me..."

He tried to hide his frown by lowering his head, but his sorrow was palpable. "You promise?"

"I swear on my life."

Your promise only served to coax more tears out of him. As much as he hated his current display of emotions—he couldn't avoid it. The warmth, the happiness, and the security you offer up to him was too much to bear.

He used to think he wasn't deserving of anything close to love, but here you were—proving him wrong time and time again. Maybe... just maybe... he did actually deserve it.

His dream of being loved could become true after all.

I know exactly how the rule goes: Put my mask on first No, I don't want to talk about myself Tell me where it hurts

After that particular fight, you became more observant of him. You felt stupid that you didn't notice his pain sooner. He was too good at concealing his true feelings that you were fooled into thinking that he was okay. But he really wasn't.

However, you knew better than to force it out of him. Slowly but surely, you tried to help him open up to you. But your efforts were futile. He'd always wave it off and smile at you. It was the same smile that had tricked you in the past.

"I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?"

"What about you, love? Have you been taking care of yourself?"

"Don't mind me. I'm strong, right?"

But Kaiser was a liar and you knew. He wasn't fine and he wasn't as strong as he made himself out to be. You both had your own pains, but you wanted both of you to overcome them together.

A frown crossed your face whenever he dismissed your worries, but you knew better than to force it out of him. All you could do is wipe the frown off your face and etch a small smile instead.

One day... one day he'll tell it all to you—when he isn't scared anymore.

I just want to build you up, build you up 'Til you're good as new And maybe one day I will get Around to fixing myself too

Kaiser thought he was suffocating. But wasn't he asleep? Ah... he was dreaming. There were times when he applauded his mind for being so excellently vivid at imagining the field. He was a master of metavision after all. But this cursed ability made his dreams feel all too real.

The hands that gripped his neck felt far too tangible, like there were fingers constricting his air flow. And those eyes... those eyes that detested him like he was nothing more than trash. The hatred was so conspicuous that it made him sweat in a fully airconditioned room.

After struggling for what seemed like forever, Kaiser snapped out of it. He sat up in bed and looked around. As expected, he was met with darkness; the faint light filtering through the window barely illuminated his bedroom. Frantically, he looked to the side and was pacified momentarily by the sight of you sleeping peacefully next to him.

You had rolled over to the farthest side of the bed, unaware of what was happening to him. Kaiser pulled his knees towards him, resting his elbows on the peaks and burying his face in his palms. He desperately wanted to calm down his racing heartbeat.

Why did he have to infiltrate his dreams? Didn't he torment him enough already? What did he do in his past life that made him deserve this kind of torture? Why?

Why?

Too caught up in his thoughts, Kaiser hadn't noticed the way you stirred in your sleep or how you had noticed that he was awake. Before he knew it, arms had snaked around his waist.

"Why are you still awake?"

You were still groggy, so perhaps you didn't notice the distress written all over his face. But you squeezed him tighter. Your instincts told you that he needed it. And he needed it badly.

"Come back to bed. I'll hold you."

He does what he was told. You slowly pulled him back into bed with you, never letting him go. You scoot closer to him as humanly possible. Kaiser didn't mind that you left no space between the two of you. If he was going to be suffocated, it might as well be by your embrace.

"Did you have a nightmare?"

He felt your breath fan against the warm skin of his neck. Your lips lightly brushed the sensitive skin as you spoke. He reached up to caress your arm, trying to reciprocate the affection you were giving him.

He only hummed in response, not wanting to elaborate further. You were sleepy as it is; there was no need for him to snap you out of your rest for his sake.

"I'll be fine... I have you with me." That's right, he thought. He had you. Everything would be fine if he had you.

Kaiser still had lingering feelings of pain inflicted by the violent hands and the hateful scrutiny of his father. But he hoped that one day you'd wash those feelings away. Kaiser hoped that your gentle touches and loving gaze would make him anew.

Somehow, maybe, you could fix the disaster that was Michael Kaiser.

I don't even know where to start Already tired of trying to recall When it all fell apart

He knew it was wrong to rely solely on you. Happiness came from loving oneself—they say. But it was impossible. Every time he let himself alone with his thoughts it would always make him spiral.

Kaiser watched from the marble counter as you swayed your hips to the funky music that played in the kitchen. You were cooking some fancy dish that he forgot the name of.

As you observed every movement you made, he slowly started to entertain the idea of finally opening up to you. But, as always, the same thoughts hindered him.

What if you look at him differently? What if it pushes you away? What if you realize that maybe his father was right?

It was unlikely, but not impossible—at least that's what his mind would say. But then he was reminded of your face. He could melt whenever he recalled the soft expression on your face as you told him you'd always be there for him.

So... maybe...

"Hey."

You turn around at his call. "What's up?"

He gulps. This is it. "Can we talk after dinner? I have something I want to tell you."

You almost dropped your spatula. "Is it bad? Because if it's bad I won't be able to eat a bite of what I made."

He chuckled. Typical you.

"Don't worry. I just want to tell you a story."

I just want to love you, to love you To love you well just want to learn how, somehow To be loved myself

You were never this engrossed in a story before. No words escaped your mouth. Instead, you nodded along with every word he spoke. You could tell that he was trying his utmost best to keep a neutral face, but your heart broke knowing how caged he must have felt.

He poured his heart out. Kaiser was still scared, that much was true. But he was a point of no return. You already knew much of it, so what was the point of hiding any of his remaining emotions?

He bared it all for you, not missing a detail. He wanted you—desperately wanted you—to understand what he struggled with. He figured that if you did, maybe he'd finally find peace in himself knowing that the person he loves still accepts him despite his faults.

I will love you without any strings attached And what a privilege it is to love A great honor to hold you up

When he exhausted himself of every tidbit of his life, he stared at you and your dumbfounded expression. You had so much to say to him, but at the same time, you didn't know what to say. You wanted to mutter anything—literally anything to at least let him know that you were listening.

"I love you, Mihya."

You blurted out the first thing that came to mind. But really, it was the only thing on your mind. Everything that you wanted to say—the comforting words, the advice—everything boiled down to those 4 words.

He was a troubled man, that much you knew. You weren't ignorant of his attitude when you weren't around. And you knew that he was always keeping some part of himself hidden even from you. Just like him, you felt a weight lift off your shoulders.

Kaiser finally trusted you enough with this. And now you understood why he was such a selfless lover. He valued you so much to the point that he thought you were the best thing he would ever have in his lifetime and he would be a massive idiot to let you go.

He did everything in his power to make you happy and to make you feel loved.

So, wouldn't it be right for you to do the same?

You smile and take his shaking hands in yours. A beautiful promise falls from your lips:

"And I will love you with every single thing I have."

ε( ε ˙³˙)ɜ ｡° ⚬ ｡ likes and reblogs are appreciated

pls do not translate/copy/reupload my work on other platforms

[moon7jay]

Enhypen with a s/o who suffers from an ED (hyung line)

Warnings : ed behaviours, body dysmorphia, low self esteem, self depreciation, suggestive in jay's, fluff, comfort, triggering content ahead, please proceed with caution<3

Requested by .・゜゜・ @onlyni-kis (I tried my best to make it realistic, I hope it helps you somehow)

Heeseung

He'd be so attentive and accomodating to your needs. As someone with an Ed, you're often not taken seriously. Your mental problems are not considered valid. And so you usually avoid social settings where people can pass up unnecessary comments on your body or eating choices and heeseung never pressures you to get out if you don't want to. Because you lack confidence and even slight comments trigger you, heeseung makes sure that no one can do so while he's around. If he's around, you can freely go anywhere and do anything. He would have a reputation of a 0 tolerance boyfriend who did not like people perceiving you in anyway. So whenever he is around, people usually know to keep their words in check. He's your safe blanket. The only person you can be yourself with.

You were hanging out with heeseung's cousins in a family get together, sitting on heeseung's lap and indulging in oily food for once, trying to let go of the food guilt.

"y/n that's a lot of food for one sitting" one of them commented and even though the comment was harmless with no real intent to hurt you, it did hurt. Your appetite dying instantly as you gave them a sheepish smile ,standing up from heeseung's lap and excusing yourself from the setting, not wanting your useless tears to fall and ruin everyone's mood. Heeseung let you walk away to collect your emotions but the instant icy glare he shot towards his cousin was something his family would never forget.

"I thought I made it clear that when y/n comes over you better watch your fucking mouths" he gritted through clenched teeth, the nerve on his forehead throbbing with how much effort it was taking him to stop himself from punching his cousin's stupid face. He found you standing in the kitchen, the food that was previously on your plate was now in the trash can and you just stood there staring at it, your small sniffles reaching his ears. You jumped upon feeling two strong arms wrap around your waist but melted into heeseung's touch in an instant.

"Baby, it's okay, have you seen the amount of food that i eat? On the daily basis?" His words made you snort, how ladylike. It was true, heeseung always made sure to load his plate full, piling stuff to the top just so he could make you laugh and forget about your own portion size. It always worked.

"Let's get out of here and I'll take you to this new ice cream parlor I've been meaning to try, would you like that baby? Just me and you?" He peppered small kisses along the length of your neck tenderly, making you close your eyes and just bask in his love. "Yeah I'd love that" you whispered. He was enough for you. You could deal with anything as long as you were in his arms.

Jay

Watching yourself in the mirror was always daunting for you, having no idea of what you really looked like, just constant voices in your head chanting "ugly" were all you could focus on. The dress that you were trying on was tight, it was suffocating. Not thin enough, not pretty enough, starve, starve-

A choked sob escaped your lips and you covered your mouth instantly, realizing that you were in a public space and your boyfriend was right outside. Jay's thought made you cry more, all of your self doubts creeping in and you turned away from the mirror, unable to look at your distorted reflection any longer. You often questioned why he was with you, you were nothing but a mess of a person, not pretty, not normal... just a gaping wound was what you were. Always bleeding. A sudden knock at the changing room's door jolted you out of your thoughts and you quickly wiped your tears, breathing in through your nose to make your voice less wobbly "yes?" you asked, hoping it was just a staff.

"baby let me in please" came jay's sweet voice and you closed your eyes, a defeated sigh leaving your lips. He knew you were having a breakdown, of course he knew, he always knew. You trudged towards the door and yanked it open, presenting your tear stained face to your worried boyfriend. Jay took you in his arms in an instant, cooing and shushing you when you started sobbing in earnest. "talk to me love, I'm right here" he whispered, running his palms all over your body, caressing you with so much tenderness it made you tighten your hold around his neck.

"I just-i don't like this dress" you choked out in the crook of his neck and he hummed in understanding "but I think it looks stunning on you baby" He whispered. His words made you pull back, still sniffing but staring into his eyes to detect a lie being told to placate you.

"You do?" you asked softly, not trusting your voice just yet. He nodded and turned you around, a gasp leaving your lips while your back rested against his chest. Your eyes met his in the mirror and you shied away from the intensity of his gaze. You watched as he ran his hands all over your body, your breath hitching when he cupped your chest, travelling down to your waist, then to your hips "so perfect" he whispered in your ear, making a shiver run down your spine. "look at the way it hugs your curves sweetheart, and the vibrant blue which brings out the color of your eyes", your eyes widened upon realizing that he was right, the dress did do wonders in highlighting your eyes. " look at the way it hugs your hips baby, driving me crazy" and it did, it hugged your hips so snugly, the fit so perfect now that you were seeing yourself in new light. His fingers dug into your waist, his lips touching your earlobe while he told you how beautiful you were. "let me take you home and show you how much I like this dress" He groaned and you bit your lower lip at his suggestion, suddenly feeling so sexy and so desired. He was so good at making you feel like this gorgeous person that you never thought you were. But he was here. And he wanted you. He thought you were pretty and that's all that mattered to you. It didn't heal you but it did make things easier.

Jake

He would be the type of boyfriend who keeps you stacked with your diet soda and 0 calorie foods. After he started dating you he had quickly grasped the severity of your condition, and even though it was out of his hand to actually help you, he did try his best to just be there for you.

"Jake I didn't order these" you asked your boyfriend in confusion, pointing towards the two full boxes of konjac noodles sitting on the kitchen counter. He walked towards you with a smile and pulled you into him. "I did, aren't they your favorite noodles? I was just trying to be a good boyfriend".

Favorite noodles. No they weren't. And you knew that jake knew that, but he didn't like to make you feel like there was something wrong with you, and you appreciated that so much. Your lower lip wobbled upon seeing the new cans of coke zero stacked on the side counter as well. Never had anyone cared so much about your needs and it was making you choke on your emotions. You had been running out of your ed foods and were trying to push back buying them because of the increasing prices, not wanting to waste money on your own hunger because according to you, you didn't deserve to eat anyway.

"How'd you know?" you whispered through a sniffle, already feeling the onslaught of tears. "because I know you, and I love you" He whispered back, wiping your tears and capturing your lips in his own, kissing you through your breakdown.

Sunghoon

You didn't want to overthink it. You really didn't, but your boyfriend was gorgeous and so it was inevitable that he got female attention wherever he went. And most girls ignored your presence beside him, fawning over him as if he didn't have his fingers intertwined with yours. She was beautiful, the girl your boyfriend had been laughing with when you stepped into his office unannounced. That was your biggest mistake because now you couldn't help but compare. Compare the thighs, the arms, the waist... you were nothing like her. Were these the women sunghoon spent his entire day with? and he still chose to come back to your plain self? What were you even doing with yourself? You should be starving harder, you decided. Just a few inches more and your waist might start looking like her, and maybe a few more inches on your thighs would make everything better and the- you were spiralling again. Unable to stop it even though you knew the consequences.

"This is the 3rd order this week baby" sunghoon's voice made you turn towards your bedroom door, mentally cursing upon finding the packaged waist trainer in his hands. You panicked and snatched it from his hands, mumbling a quick thank you and not meeting his eyes. You could feel his probing gaze on you. "You haven't stepped outside of this house in weeks, care to tell me what's going on?"

You hadn't lost weight, you weren't pretty enough yet, didn't he understand?? You couldn't just go outside looking like this, was he out of his mind?. Warm hands cupping your cheeks pulled you out of your inner monologue and you looked up at his intense eyes staring down at you. He rubbed his thumbs onto your cheeks and rested his forehead against yours

"Do you remember the first day of high school? When you had the biggest zit on your nose?" He asked and you looked up at him confused, not knowing where this conversation was headed but nodded regardless. "I loved you then" he whispered and your throat tightened, remembering how he was probably the only one in your entire grade who didn't make a comment on your acne. "And the time when you fell face first into the muddy water before class cuz you were an idiot who never looked at the ground while walking" The memory made you giggle but sunghoon only smiled fondly , kissing your nose "you were drenched from head to toe but i loved you then. I loved you so much y/n". You could feel the moisture gathering in your eyes at his confession, knowing that you spent your entire teen years hating yourself so much to the point that you failed to see the love that was around you. Remembering how you would shy away from your own reflection in the class windows because you despised yourself to the core. "And I loved you when you slapped me, loved you so much that it hurt". Tears were falling freely now, the painful memory of you slapping sunghoon after he confessed his feelings for you because you thought he was trying to make fun of you, coming back to you. cuz in your head there was no way that a guy like him could ever want something to do with you, so you automatically concluded that it was a prank, a distasteful one. "and I love you right now y/n, I love you because you're you. I can't live without you because your soft snores are the only thing helping me fall asleep most days. Because your stupid jokes are the only ones I'd ever fake my laugh for- you gasped through your tears and slapped his chest lightly, making him chuckle. "I love you because I can't help it. It's that easy to love you. " he continued , wiping your tears, "don't you understand baby? You never had to try to make me love you, so why now?". You buried your face into his chest and sobbed, feeling like a huge rock had been lifted off of your chest. His assurance was what you craved the most. The reminder that you were enough for someone. For him.

"I want you just like you are sweetheart, flaws and scars intact. Raw and unfiltered. Now that I have you in my arms, please don't take that away from me" He whispered, wrapping his hands tightly around your heaving body.

"If it's hard for you to love yourself,please let me do it for you" and just like that, he was again fixing the parts of you that he didn't break.

[kiiozawa]

•.¸♡ 𝑶𝒉, '𝒄𝒂𝒖𝒔𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒈𝒐𝒕 𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒊𝒅𝒆 𝒎𝒚 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒅 ♡¸.•

ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: ᴇxʙғ! sᴜᴋᴜɴᴀ x sᴇʀᴠᴇʀ! ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

ᴄᴡ: sғᴡ, sʟɪɢʜᴛ ᴀʟᴄᴏʜᴏʟɪsᴍ ᴛʜᴇᴍᴇs ɪғ ʏᴏᴜ sǫᴜɪɴᴛ, ᴛᴏxɪᴄɪᴛʏ, ᴇxᴇs, slight ᴀɴɢsᴛ (ɴᴏ ᴄᴏᴍғᴏʀᴛ), ғᴇᴍ!ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ, ᴜsᴀɢᴇ ᴏғ ᴘᴇᴛ ɴᴀᴍᴇs: ᴘʀɪɴᴄᴇss, sᴡᴇᴇᴛʜᴇᴀʀᴛ, ɪғ ɪ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ ᴏғ ᴀɴʏᴍᴏʀᴇ ɪ'ʟʟ ᴀᴅᴅ ɪᴛ ʟᴏʟ,

ᴡᴄ: 𝟷.𝟸ᴋ (ᴘᴀʀᴛ 𝟸 ᴏғ ᴛʜɪs ᴅʀᴀʙʙʟᴇ)

ᴀ/ɴ: ɪ ʜᴀᴅ ᴀ ᴅɪʀᴇᴄᴛɪᴏɴ ғᴏʀ ᴛʜɪs ᴀɴᴅ ɪᴛ ᴄᴏᴍᴘʟᴇᴛᴇʟʏ ᴡᴇɴᴛ sᴏᴍᴇᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ᴇʟsᴇ. ɴᴏᴛ ᴘʀᴏᴏғʀᴇᴀᴅ!! ɪᴍᴀɢᴇs ɪɴ ʜᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ʀᴇғʟᴇᴄᴛ ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

The sun was too bright and your bed was too warm. You could feel your brain spin in your skull as you tried to rise from the sauna that is your bed. The memories of last night were unbearably hazy and you couldn't pinpoint this weird feeling that you had in your stomach. The tequila from last night was definitely not helping.

How did you get home last night?

The answer to that question was in your living room. You pulled on one of your fluffy robes over your shoulders and hastily tied it as you walked out of your suffocating bedroom.

He was already awake by the looks of it.

"Sukuna." You mumbled out. Your eyes tried to adjust to the brightness of the living room as you racked your brain for the missing memories.

"Princess." He purred. "Why do you look like you've seen a ghost?"

"What-, why are you here?" You asked in a shaky voice as you eyed your ex-boyfriend, who seemed to have no trouble making himself at home. Despite his hair being a mess from sleep, Sukuna still looked as handsome with how it was tussled. It was absolutely sinful how he looked so good wearing a plain black t-shirt.

"Because a certain someone got absolutely plastered at a bar." Sukuna chuckled as he ran his hand through his hair, "I had to stop what I was doing and pick you up."

Sukuna. Bar. Tequila. Sukuna. Drive. Sukuna.

Fragmented memories started to slowly come by as you tried to piece it all together. You remember that you were at the bar, but what you couldn't remember was why. Sukuna stretched on your sofa as you continued to ponder.

"I shoulda put you to sleep on the couch. My fucking back is killing me from sleeping on it." Sukuna rubbed his neck as he got up from the sofa. "Now. Princess, can you explain to me why I had to drop what I was doing to pick you up?"

Embarrassment coated your cheeks as your face heated up. You had stood your ground to Sukuna for the last couple of months and threw it down the drain in one night. For what reason? You couldn't even remember last night fully. Sukuna had to pick you up because you were wasted on cheap tequila.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bother-"

"That's not what I'm asking. I'm asking why the fuck were you drinking to the point that someone had to call me to get you." Irritation coated Sukuna's words with what you think is sincerity. He stood toe to toe with you as he asked, "What the hell were you thinking?"

"I don't know!" You exclaimed in frustration as hot tears began to well up behind your eyes. Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry. "I don't- I don't even remember what even happened last night for the most part. It's all a huge blur." This was unlike you completely. You enjoyed drinking, but very rarely had you ever drank to the point like last night. The last time you got that intoxicated was when you received your 8th rejection letter for a job that would have allowed you to leave the restaurant.

"Princess." Sukuna raised a hand to cup your face. "You asked about my 'date.'"

An important fragmented piece landed right back into place. Sukuna had a date. That's right. And you fucked it all up by getting wasted. You were walking with Nobara at one of the gallerias yesterday. She was helping you pick out a new outfit when you both saw Sukuna walking with a very pretty woman by his side. She was absolutely stunning with her stupid, pretty hair and curvy figure. The instant that you had caught yourself, you felt shame fill your stomach.

Nobara tried to avert your attention somewhere else, but it was too much! You ended your outing early as the ugly feelings were eating you up inside. It felt so pathetic because you shouldn't have felt jealous or angry at Sukuna. If anything you should have felt glad that he was moving on. Except you didn't and you hated yourself for it. That's how you ended up at that bar and approximately 6 double shots later Sukuna came to get you.

"I... I didn't mea- I wasn't trying-" You couldn't get the words to come out. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." The apologies slipped out, your shame overrode your pride this time.

"I wasn't on a date, princess."

Sukuna seemed so sincere that it took you a second to register his words. It was jarring considering that half of the time he was arrogant and the other half was condescending. You have seen glimpses of this side of Sukuna before, but this was the first time you had seen it stay for longer than a moment. And just as you were taking in the softness of his beautiful maroon eyes, it was gone.

"I would have saved myself the trouble of chasing after you if I had known that taking a business associate to dinner would cause you to cry for me, princess," Sukuna smirked as he squeezed your cheeks with one hand. "If you beg a little more, I'll gladly take you back."

This arrogant asshole.

Fuck the shame that you felt, your pride may have been wounded, but hell would freeze over before you begged for Sukuna back. You understood your feelings too well, but that doesn't mean you would just hand over your heart again. It was love, you loved Sukuna and you certainly didn't stop loving him. But you loved yourself too.

"What was that you said before?" You yanked your face out of Sukuna's grip, "Oh that's right. You hate clingy girls." You dramatically gasped. "As much as I would love to beg for a second chance, I think I'll pass." You responded sarcastically and ignored the shadow that passed Sukuna's face.

Sukuna was a man who held very few regrets. He doesn't believe in lingering in the past, so he doesn't understand why you were so hung up on that. His smirk was replaced with a scowl as you moved away from him. There was a nagging feeling in his stomach, one that he chose to ignore. He had already settled on having you crawl back to him. What Sukuna loved enjoyed about you was how fierce and independent you were.

Never did you expect sweet flowered words, you always found meaning in Sukuna's actions. He remembered how you were always insistent on attempting to pay for your dates, except Sukuna would never let you. You were never afraid to voice your opinions and you always acted in your best interest. He loved liked that about you. So why the fuck were you so insistent on saying it out loud.

Sukuna's eyes narrowed as he took a deep breath. "Fine. Be that way, sweetheart." He brushed past you as you avoided looking at him.

Part of you wanted to turn around and reach out to Sukuna, but you couldn't. You didn't want to spell it out loud for him. Instead, you decided to let him go through the door.

"...I didn't thank him." You whispered to no one in your silent apartment.

[hynzsn]

★ SAFE HAVEN ★

☆ johnny suh x male reader

-> boyfriend!johnny x depressed!reader

꩜ .ᐟ hurt/comfort, fluff

contents: caring!johnny, established relationship, reader has daddy issues, unhealthy coping mechanisms (not eating, isolating), implied/referenced emotional abuse (from reader’s father), swearing, hugs, pet names (babe, baby), reassurance from johnny

wc: 2.7k

summary: you’ve been mia for weeks - ghosting calls, barely eating, and basically becoming one with your bed. the voice in your head, it sounds a lot like your father, and it keeps telling you you’re worthless. good thing johnny’s voice - one that whispers sweet nothings and promises of forever - is even louder.

♡︎♡︎♡︎ likes, comments and reblogs are highly appreciated ♡︎♡︎♡︎

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

[8:37 PM] 📱-> johnny 💝: yo, babe wtf?! you alive over there?? it’s been a minute…

[8:37 PM]📱-> johnny 💝: okay, jokes aside… please text me back. i’m worried about you 😔

[8:41 PM]📱-> johnny 💝: …

[8:45PM]📱-> johnny 💝: i’m coming over.

the messages sat unread, another three little gray bubbles added to the ever-growing count on your lock screen. you didn’t even bother to glance at them before letting your phone clatter back onto the mattress.

it wasn’t supposed to be like this. you were supposed to be the strong one, the one who always had it together, the one who could handle anything life threw at you with a smirk and a sarcastic quip. but lately, the mask had been feeling heavier, the edges digging into your skin, the forced smile making your cheeks ache.

you’d been spiraling for a while now, the familiar darkness creeping in like a fog, suffocating the joy out of everything. it started subtly – skipping meals, pushing deadlines, letting texts go unanswered. then it escalated, the isolation becoming a comforting cocoon as you withdrew further and further into yourself.

your phone buzzed again, the insistent vibration making you flinch. you knew it was johnny. he was the only one who still bothered, who saw through the carefully constructed facade you presented to the world.

he’d seen you at your worst – the breakdowns, the insecurities, the ugly crying sessions fueled by cheap instant ramen and self-loathing. and through it all, he never judged, never wavered. he was your rock, your anchor in the storm that raged within you.

but even rocks could crumble under enough pressure, and you couldn’t bear the thought of dragging him down with you. so, you did what you always did – you pushed everyone away, retreating into the fortress of your own making.

[9:36 PM]

a sharp knock on the door jolted you from your thoughts. you froze, heart hammering in your chest. you weren’t expecting anyone, hadn’t spoken to another soul in days.

the knocking came again, more insistent this time.

“fuck,” you muttered, dragging yourself out of bed. your reflection in the darkened tv screen made you wince. you looked like a ghost – pale, gaunt, with dark circles etched beneath your eyes.

“i’m coming, hold on!” you called out, your voice raspy from disuse.

as you fumbled with the multiple locks on your door, a wave of dizziness washed over you. you leaned against the wall for support, taking a deep breath to steady yourself.

the door swung open, revealing johnny standing in the hallway, his face a mixture of relief and concern.

“hey,” he said softly, his gaze sweeping over you, taking in your disheveled appearance.

“hey,” you mumbled back, avoiding his eyes.

“can i come in?” he asked, his voice gentle.

you hesitated for a moment before stepping aside, allowing him to enter.

the moment he stepped inside, johnny’s face fell. the air was thick with the smell of unwashed laundry and stale takeout containers littered the coffee table. the curtains were drawn, casting the apartment in a perpetual twilight.

“jesus, babe,” he breathed, running a hand through his hair. “what the fuck happened?”

you shrugged, unable to meet his gaze. “nothing. just… tired.”

he didn’t buy it for a second. he crossed the room in a few strides, pulling you into a hug. you stiffened initially, surprised by the sudden contact, but then you melted into his embrace, the warmth of his body a balm to your aching soul.

“don’t lie to me,” he murmured into your hair. “i know something’s wrong. you’ve been mia for weeks.”

you buried your face in his chest, inhaling the familiar scent of his cologne – a comforting mix of sandalwood and something uniquely him.

“i’m sorry,” you whispered, your voice muffled by his shirt. “i didn’t mean to worry you.”

“worry me?” he chuckled humorlessly. “you scared the shit out of me, you know that? i thought something had happened to you.”

“i’m sorry,” you repeated, the words catching in your throat.

he pulled back slightly, cupping your face in his hands and forcing you to look at him. his eyes, usually so full of warmth and humor, were filled with concern.

“talk to me,” he pleaded. “what’s going on in that head of yours?”

you hesitated, unsure of where to begin. how could you possibly explain the tangled mess of emotions that had taken root in your mind, choking the life out of you?

“it’s just…” you started, your voice cracking. “everything feels… pointless. like i’m just going through the motions, you know?”

he nodded slowly, encouraging you to continue.

“i feel like i’m drowning, johnny,” you confessed, tears welling up in your eyes. “and the worst part is, i don’t even know why. i have no reason to feel this way. i have a good life, a great boyfriend…”

“hey, hey,” he interrupted, wiping away a stray tear with his thumb. “it’s okay to not be okay. you don’t need a reason to feel the way you do. sometimes life just throws you a curveball, and you just gotta roll with it.”

his words, so simple yet profound, struck a chord within you. you had always felt the pressure to be strong, to have it all figured out. but maybe it was okay to not be okay. maybe it was okay to ask for help.

“i hate that you’re right,” you said, managing a weak smile.

he chuckled, the sound warming you from the inside out. “that’s my boy.”

he pulled you back into a hug, this time tighter than before. you clung to him, letting his strength seep into you, chasing away the shadows that had been haunting you for so long.

“you know i’m here for you, right?” he murmured against your hair. “always.”

you nodded, burying your face in his chest, unwilling to let go. in his arms, you felt safe, protected from the storm raging within you.

“always,” you echoed, a single tear escaping and tracing a path down your cheek.

johnny didn’t let you go for a long time, holding you close as if he were afraid you might disappear if he loosened his grip. the steady beat of his heart against your ear, the warmth of his body pressed against yours – it was a lifeline, pulling you back from the brink.

when he finally pulled away, his expression was serious. “okay, enough of this moping around,” he said, his voice firm but gentle. “first things first, we’re getting some real food in you. and i’m not talking about that instant ramen crap.”

you opened your mouth to protest, but he silenced you with a look. “don’t even try it,” he said, a playful glint in his eye. “i know your eating habits have been shit lately. i can practically see your ribs.”

he was right, of course. you hadn’t had a proper meal in days, surviving on a steady diet of instant noodles and self-pity. but the thought of food made your stomach churn.

“i’m not really hungry,” you mumbled, averting your gaze.

he raised an eyebrow, his expression skeptical. “right, and i’m the tooth fairy. come on, babe, humor me.”

he didn’t wait for a response, instead taking your hand and pulling you towards the door. you stumbled after him, your legs shaky from disuse.

“where are we going?” you asked, your voice barely a whisper.

“my place,” he replied over his shoulder. “my fridge is stocked with enough food to feed a small army. and before you protest, you need a shower and a change of clothes, sweetheart. you reek of despair and instant ramen.”

he said it with so much affection, you couldn’t even be embarrassed. he was right, though. a shower did sound amazing.

the drive to johnny’s apartment was a blur. you sat in the passenger seat, watching the city lights stream by, your mind racing with a million thoughts per minute.

as he pulled into his parking spot, you couldn’t help but feel a surge of envy. his life seemed so…put together. he had his dream job as an idol, a spacious apartment with a view, and everyone adores him.

you, on the other hand, felt like you were constantly playing catch-up, like you were always one step behind everyone else. your dead-end job at the call center barely paid the bills, your apartment was a testament to your inability to adult properly, and theres the fact that… well, you feel completely lonely. sometimes, you couldn’t help but feel like you were holding johnny back, embarrassing him. you and johnny have been together for a while now, but the thought of what he actually see’s in you still lingers in the back of your mind…

“you coming?” johnny’s voice snapped you out of your thoughts. he was already out of the car, holding the passenger door open for you.

you forced a smile, hoping it reached your eyes. “yeah, sorry. just lost in thought.”

he gave you a knowing look, but he didn’t press further. he knew better than to push you when you were like this.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

his apartment was everything yours wasn’t – bright, spacious, and impeccably decorated. you felt a pang of guilt, realizing you hadn’t even bothered to tidy up before he came over.

“go on, shower’s in there,” he said, gesturing down the hallway. “towels are in the linen closet. i’ll find you something to wear.”

you almost protested, but the feel of johnny’s softest t-shirt in your hands stopped you. it even smelled like him. you quickly showered, washing away the grime and the lingering sadness that clung to you like a bad cologne.

stepping out, you found the promised clothes on the counter. you pulled on the soft t-shirt, the scent of him enveloping you like a warm hug. it was comforting, familiar. safe.

you found johnny in the kitchen, already dicing vegetables with practiced ease. he looked up as you entered, a soft smile gracing his lips.

“there’s my boy,” he murmured, his gaze lingering for a moment on how his shirt hung on you. “feeling a little more human?”

you nodded, unable to stop the small smile that tugged at your lips. “yeah,” you whispered, your voice thick with emotion. “yeah, i think i am.”

he was right. a shower, his clothes, his presence – it was already working its magic.

“good,” he said, his smile widening. “make yourself comfortable, baby,” he said, gesturing towards the plush sofa. “it’ll be ready soon.”

you sank onto the sofa, sinking into the soft cushions. you closed your eyes, letting out a sigh of contentment. you had forgotten how good it felt to be here.

“so,” he said, his voice coming from the kitchen. “talk to me. what’s got you so down?”

you opened your eyes, watching as he moved around the kitchen with an ease that never failed to amaze you. he was wearing a pair of sweatpants and a loose t-shirt, his hair tousled from running his fingers through it a million times.

you sighed, running a hand through your damp hair. “it’s just…everything,” you mumbled, not wanting to burden him with your problems.

he stopped what he was doing, turning to face you, his expression serious. “don’t do that,” he said, his voice firm. “don’t shut me out. talk to me.”

you hesitated, unsure of where to begin. how could you possibly explain the suffocating weight of your father’s expectations, the constant feeling of never being good enough, the fear that you were destined to end up alone and miserable just like him?

“it’s stupid,” you said, your voice barely a whisper.

“nothing you say is stupid,” he reassured you, walking over and sitting down beside you on the sofa.

you took a deep breath, steeling yourself. “it’s just…my dad called.”

johnny’s face hardened. he knew how much your father’s words could cut you, how deeply his disapproval ran.

“what did he say?” he asked, his voice tight.

you closed your eyes, the memory of your father’s condescending tone, his thinly veiled insults, sending a shiver down your spine.

“the usual,” you mumbled. “disappointment. failure. you know the drill.”

you opened your eyes to find johnny watching you, his expression a mixture of anger and concern.

“he’s an asshole, you know that right?” he said, his voice low and dangerous. “you’re worth ten of him, and don’t you ever forget that.”

you wanted to believe him, you really did. but the truth was, his words, as much as they stung, had a way of burrowing under your skin, planting seeds of doubt that were hard to shake off.

“it’s not that easy, johnny,” you said, your voice laced with frustration. “it’s like…it’s like his voice is always in my head, telling me i’m not good enough, that i’ll never amount to anything.”

johnny wrapped an arm around your shoulders, pulling you closer until your head rested against his chest. you could hear the steady thump of his heart, a comforting rhythm against the chaos of your own thoughts.

“then we fight back,” he murmured, his voice a low rumble against your ear. “we drown out his voice with other voices – voices that love you, voices that support you, voices that remind you of your worth.”

he tilted your chin up with his finger, forcing you to meet his gaze. his eyes, usually so full of warmth and humor, were blazing with a fierce intensity that took your breath away.

“you are not your father,” he said, his voice firm but gentle. “you are kind, you are talented, you are worthy of love. don’t ever let anyone, not even your own blood, tell you otherwise.”

his words, spoken with such conviction, such unwavering belief, pierced through the darkness that had settled over you. for the first time in what felt like forever, you felt a glimmer of hope, a tiny spark igniting within the ashes of your despair.

“what would i do without you?” you whispered, your voice thick with emotion.

he chuckled, the sound a balm to your soul. “probably starve to death in a pile of dirty laundry,” he teased, his tone light despite the seriousness of the moment.

you swatted his arm playfully, a genuine smile finally reaching your lips. “hey, i’ll have you know i did laundry last week,” you retorted, even though you both knew it was a blatant lie.

he laughed, the sound echoing through the apartment, chasing away the last vestiges of darkness.

“alright, alright, i believe you,” he said, raising his hands in mock surrender. “now, how about that food i promised you? i’m starving.”

he stood up, pulling you along with him. you followed him into the kitchen, your heart feeling lighter than it had in days.

as he moved around the kitchen, preparing a simple but delicious meal of kimchi fried rice and bulgogi, you watched him with a newfound appreciation. he wasn’t just your boyfriend; he was your best friend, your confidante, your rock. he was the one person who never gave up on you, even when you had given up on yourself.

you ate in comfortable silence, the only sound the clinking of chopsticks and the occasional contented sigh. it was amazing how something as simple as a good meal and good company could make the world seem a little less bleak.

after dinner, you helped johnny wash the dishes, the two of you falling into an easy rhythm as you worked side-by-side. as you scrubbed a particularly stubborn pot, you felt his gaze on you.

“what?” you asked, looking up at him with a questioning smile.

“nothing,” he replied, shaking his head. “It’s just… i’m glad you’re here.”

you knew what he meant. he wasn’t just talking about being physically present in his apartment; he was talking about letting him in, letting him see the real you, the broken, messy parts that you usually kept hidden from the world.

“me too,” you whispered, leaning against him, seeking his warmth, his strength.

he wrapped his arms around you, holding you close.

“you’re safe here, you know,” he murmured against your hair. “safe with me.”

you closed your eyes, letting his words wash over you, soothing the ache in your heart. In his arms, you felt a sense of peace you hadn’t realized you were craving. he was your safe haven, your refuge from the storm.

and as you stood there, wrapped in his embrace, you knew that no matter what life threw your way, you’d be alright, with him by your side.

[gravehags]

hold me now

Pairing: Cardinal Copia x f!Reader (Curator!Reader)

Rating: Teen

Tags: couple fight, well less a fight than copia fucking up supremely, hurt/comfort, self esteem issues, anxiety, secondo once again being a real one

Words: 2,587

Summary: You've never heard that tone from Copia before period let alone directed at you.

a/n: copia baby your anxiety and freeze response...

~~~

He can feel the headache coming on, throbbing right behind his eyes and the base of his skull from staring too long at spreadsheets and numbers and stupid fucking emails from his fellow clergy members. 

Sister Imperator on his ass, like always. Nihil on his ass, like always. You’re pacing back and forth in front of his desk, chattering animatedly about…he’s not even sure, all he can focus on is the static in his brain and the blood rushing in his ears and the noise of your voice and–

He barks your name once. That’s all it takes to have you stopped in your tracks, slowly turning to face him. When the next words out of his mouth come sharp like a whip crack, he sees you physically recoil.

Enough. Quiet.

Immediately he’s filled with regret as he watches you back away towards the door, fidgeting with your fingers. He knows what he needs to do - what he needs to say - but he’s paralyzed with fear and exhaustion. His mouth opens but no sound comes out.

“S-sorry,” you say, your voice uncharacteristically small and high, the way it gets when you’re holding back tears, “sorry I’ll just–”

By the time he reaches out to you, still unable to speak, you’ve already got your back turned to him and he watches you leave and shut his door with a gentle snap. In an instant he forgets about his headache, about the stressors, about everything that isn’t the horror that settles in his belly like lead. He wants to get up, go after you, apologize on bended knee but he just…sits. 

Sathanas, what have I done?

—

You’re proud of yourself, you don’t cry until after you return to your office. As soon as the door shuts though, an ugly sob is wrenched from your throat and you collapse into the empty chair opposite your desk. You can’t form a coherent thought, all you can do is bawl into your hands and shake.

He’s done with you, that familiar, horrid little voice says. He’s finally had enough of your verbal diarrhea, of the silly inconsequential things that come out of you. He realized your mouth is only good for one thing and nattering isn’t it.

You know the wail that comes out of you is pathetic as snot and tears pour down your face and you slide out of the chair and onto the floor. Pressing your back against the desk, you draw your legs up as tight as you can, rocking gently back and forth. The look on his face - the anger, the annoyance - is burned into your memory. It’s wholly unlike your love but the fact that he hasn’t come after you…well. Clearly he meant what he said. You heave a shaky sigh and lean forward to fumble behind you for the box of tissues on your desk. It was a good run, you suppose. You always thought you were unlovable and here’s the proof. To think that he would tolerate you and your annoying habits for the rest of your lives was simply naive. 

You’re just a naive, stupid, annoying little girl.

Your tears slowly cease and you diligently wipe up the streaks of mascara on your cheeks.

You won’t bother him anymore.

—

Two days. Almost three. That’s how long has passed since his horrific outburst in his office and he still hasn’t apologized to you. The guilt gnaws at him, tearing him up, but in all truth he’s not sure how to make the situation right. And he’s embarrassed, Sathanas, looking and sounding like an irritable old man. It’s the longest he’s gone without seeing you in ages and fuck, he misses you desperately. Misses your smile, your laugh, how excitable you get when you’re talking about something you care about. Misses the very thing he chastised you and hurt your feelings for, fotutto idiota. He doesn’t blame you for not coming to his quarters or visiting him during work hours. He certainly wouldn’t blame you for being done with him, with this relationship. The lump in his throat gets worse and worse as he hustles down the corridor, tears blurring his vision. He’s nowhere near his office when he slams into something solid.

“Watch where you’re–oh, Cardinal.”

“Mi scusi,” he chokes out, dodging Secondo’s gaze and trying to hurry past him before his brother can see the streaks of black running down his cheeks but judging from the way one large hand wraps around his bicep, it’s too late.

“Copia, what is wrong?” Secondo’s voice is low and concerned as he steers him into an empty seminar room, shutting the door behind them. As soon as the latch clicks Copia lets out a whimper and then a sob.

“I hurt her!” he cries and Secondo starts.

“What do you mean you hurt her? Copia, I know you did not physically harm her because brother or not, if you laid a hand on her you know I’d–”

“No!” Copia gasps, astonished and sickened at the implication. “I would sooner cut off my own hand than raise it to her, you know this. No I-I…I hurt her feelings.”

Secondo seems relieved, but only slightly.

“What did you do?”

His lip trembles as he recalls the events of the other day to his brother. When he’s finished, Secondo crosses his arms.

“And you did not go after her? Che cazzo, stronzo?” he growls, shoving Copia into a chair. “What must she think now that her beloved was cruel to her and did not offer an apology? Copia you’ve always been self-sabotaging but this is a new low.”

Ouch.

“I…I don’t know what came over me after she left my office. My heart told me to chase after her, to make it right but I just…couldn’t move. It was like…like my brain was telling me that I didn’t deserve her in the first place so I shouldn’t push my luck. That she deserves someone…better.”

“What utter bullshit,” Secondo scoffs, and Copia can feel his face go red in shame, “You don’t deserve her? Well maybe you don’t after this but Copia she chose to be with you. To love you and care for you. And you insult her and her choice by trying to make the choice for her with your wretched behavior? Vergognatevi, Copia Emeritus.”

Copia knows Secondo is right but it doesn’t make the dull ache in his chest any better.

“How do I fix this?” he asks quietly.

“Go to her, firstly, you fucking idiot. Bring her something nice, that will make her smile. But wait until she’s back in her rooms tonight, I’m sure she’s had enough of crying in her office. And tell her how you truly feel and how sorry you are. And if she forgives you then don’t be this stupid again. If she doesn’t forgive you, well…perhaps I’ll treat her better.”

Copia’s head jerks up and Secondo looks down at him with a smirk.

“So you better work hard to make her forgive you, huh? Otherwise she’s getting a ride on the Italian Stallion, capisci?”

“Ugh disgusting,” Copia grunts, standing up, “I don’t know why I was always worried about Terzo stealing her when you’re even worse. Stay away from my amore.”

“Then you better work damn hard to make sure she remains your amore.”

“Any eh, tips?”

“I don’t know, flagellate yourself in front of her,” Secondo says, turning to leave, “She looks like she’s into that.”

“Wouldn’t you like to know,” Copia grumbles as they exit the classroom. A passing elderly sister looks at him and jumps with her hand over her heart.

“Clean yourself up first, huh?” Secondo says, straightening Copia’s cassock, “You look like the nun from The Nun.”

“Grazie mille, shithead. I think I know exactly what to do.”

“Bene. Now get to work.” With a clap on his shoulder and a wink, Secondo strides away. 

Right, Copia thinks, first the bathroom, then Primo’s greenhouse.

He only hopes it’s not too late.

—

Two days. Two fucking days and he hasn’t said shit to you. Hasn’t even attempted to say shit to you. Your pain and embarrassment morphs into anger on the dawn of the second day when you check your phone and see no texts, no missed calls. The hurt is still there, that ache in your chest that doesn’t really go away, but you’re truly floored that he could be so casually cruel to you then act like you simply don’t exist. Maybe it’s over (and the notion makes tears well in your eyes and makes you choke on each breath) but don’t you deserve to hear it from his lips? That’s all it takes to have you sobbing again as you attempt to brush your teeth, dejectedly spitting out toothpaste into the sink. It’s early, ridiculously early to be in your nightgown getting ready for bed but every night without Copia has been agony and all you want is to no longer be conscious. You pad over to your nightstand and are about to check your phone simply out of habit when there’s a loud knock at the door and you freeze. Part of you - the petty, horrible part - considers ignoring it the way he’s ignored you. Letting him stew. But your heart is ultimately what pulls you towards the door and has you opening it. Your lip wobbles when you see him before you - in his clean red cassock, no biretta  - but you pride yourself on remaining tearless. He looks incredibly nervous and nauseated as he beholds you.

“Eh…may I come in?”

You say nothing but stand aside and gesture for him to enter. It’s not until he’s fully inside your apartment you see the healthy bouquet of lily of the valley behind his back and your icy demeanor melts a little. He hands them to you, eyes dodging yours like a fifth grader with a crush. It’s charming, you can’t lie. You take the flowers from him and he watches you carefully as you fill up a vase and place them in it.

“Kinda…kinda gives you déjà vu, no?” he laughs nervously, “Except–”

“Except you brought me orange roses the first time.”

His cheeks go red.

“Right, right,” another half a minute passes of you resting your weight on your hip with your arms crossed and him fidgeting with his cuffs. You’re about to ask him to get it over with if he’s breaking up with you when–

“Amore, I do not have sufficient words to describe how incredibly sorry I am for my behavior the other day. And then for abandoning you in the days since…not only have I insulted you but I have insulted this relationship. Our relationship. Something horrid came over me that day and you did not deserve to bear the brunt of my foul mood. I know it must mean little now but as soon as I said it I-I felt sick to my stomach.”

“You didn’t come after me,” you say, sniffling and staring ahead at the bejeweled grucifix on his chest, “I knew I really fucked up when you didn’t come after me–”

“Amore you…you think what I did was a reflection on you? That you…don’t tell me you believe you deserved this?”

Your vision is going blurry and you swear internally.

“I thought you were, y’know, done with me. Done with my chatter a-and annoying habits and–”

Copia crosses the floor and takes your hands in his.

“How could I be ‘done’ with everything that makes you…you? Dolcezza, I love all of your facets, even the ones you believe to be ‘annoying’. How could I deny anything that is a part of you?”

“Then why did you tell me to be quiet? Why didn’t you come after me? Why did you just let me sit all these days assuming the worst?”

Silence rings out in the small apartment after your last loud statement and Copia looks as if he wants nothing more than to tear his heart out of his chest and present it to you, still beating in his palm.

“Oh cara,” he whispers, “I was having such a-a difficult day. Everything had gone wrong and I could feel a migraine starting and…none of it matters. I should never have lashed out at you and I curse my brain and body for not allowing me to chase after you. There’s no excuse for what I did…for how I abandoned you these past few days and…I understand if you would like to end our relationship.”

Your heart plummets.

“Is that what you want?” you ask softly, voice cracking pathetically, “I just…I assumed the worst after you didn’t try to see me–”

A noise halfway between a sob and a sigh is wrenched from Copia as he falls to his knees before you.

“Amata mia, all I want in this world is you. Your love. Nothing else matters. Only death can rid you of me, I swear to Sathanas. Do…do you feel the same?”

Tears are freely pouring down your cheeks as you look upon the man you love and the way his eyes are upturned to you seeking repentance.

“You know I love you more than anything,” you whisper, “God, we really fucked this one up, huh?”

“Not you, amore mio, me. From start to finish this was my fault and for that I am so, so sorry. I hope you will somehow forgive me–”

You scoff wetly, looking down at him with a smile.

“Is this just what two people with anxiety in love are like?”

He lets out a small laugh.

“Heh…maybe. Surely we’re not the first. Or the last.”

“We should start a support group,” you say, letting go of his hands and gripping his shoulders, “and as pretty as you look in your vestments on your knees, you can get up, my love.”

“I would stay here forever should you command it.”

Hmm. That sounds nice.

“Come to bed with me, Cardinal,” you say softly and obediently he rises to his feet. “I’ve slept like shit without you.”

“And I you,” Copia says, leaning in to press a gentle kiss to your lips. Abruptly, you wrap your arms around him and hold him tight.

“I love you,” you murmur into the red wool covering his chest.

“Love you too, anima mia,” he whispers, kissing the top of your head, “and I am sorry for everything.”

The two of you embrace one another in the quiet for a moment before you speak.

“Hmm did we just have our first fight?”

“Eh, I don’t know if it was as much a fight as it was me being a fucking idiot and you having the infinite grace to forgive me.”

“Oh, okay. I guess that rules out make-up sex, then?”

You hide your grin in his pellegrina as he makes a noise of outrage.

“Amore, anything can be make-up sex if you try hard enough. Shall I eh, call you some filthy names and get the ball rolling?”

You giggle as you tug him towards the bedroom.

“Oh, I insist, Your Eminence.”

He growls, trying his best to undo the buttons of his cassock with one hand after you lift your nightgown over your head and let it fall to the floor.

“Think I’m getting eh, a Pavlovian reaction to you using my title, dolcezza.”

You look down at the bulge in the red fabric and smile.

“I’ll be sure to remember that on really inconvenient occasions.”

He sighs.

“I know you will.”

[mintmatcha]

cw: baby, cisfem reader who recently gave birth

He has your eyes, you think. It's hard to tell. The baby is still in its squished phase, curled in on himself and grasping at whatever comes close. Closer to grub than human, you think. His cheeks are still ruddy from crying, but his glassy eyes have finally started to close and he sinks into sleep in your arms. With all of the care you can muster, you take the baby and ease him into the crib, praying that he doesn't wake again.

When he stays silent, you ease back away from the crib and back carefully out of the door. You close the door carefully and sigh as you relish the first moment alone you've had all day-- and then you burst into tears yourself.

"What's wrong?"

Ushijima stands at the top of the stairs, shedding his jacket where he stands. You're almost embarrassed for him to see you like this, disheveled and frankly dirty, your maternity bra undone. He's been your husband for years now, he's seen worse, but this feels worse. His brow is knotted with worry, eyes stone strong as ever as he watches you sniffle. When he steps in, arms outstretched, you step aside, giving way for him to see his baby. Instead, your husband comes to you. Wide hands cup your shoulders, thumbs rubbing up and down a bit too roughly to be comforting.

"Are you alright?"

You nod, lip quivering as you bite back your tears. He inspects you closely, brow raised.

"Are you lying?"

You nod again before bursting into sobs again. It's an ugly cry, all snot and coughs, but your husband doesn't pull away. Instead, he tugs you closer, tight into his chest.

"Tell me." Wakatoshi urges as gently as he can. At first, all you can be is blubber, every exhausted emotion coming to the surface at once. You're tired, you're thirsty, you're seventy other emotions that you can't pin down, but the one that comes out of your mouth first is:

"I'm a bad mom."

"Don't say that," he's quick to say.

"I am." His shirt is wet with tears, but you can't stop. "I'm so tired and thirsty and my boob really hurts and I'm not making enough milk- and, and--"

"I was supposed to love him, Toshi, and I just don't."

Ushijima chuckles, softly enough that you can't hear it, but you can feel how his chest shakes.

"It's not funny!"

"You do love him."

Of course you do. You wanted him more than anything in the world. Years of patience and love brought you this baby, and you wouldn't trade that for the world-

But it's just not what you had expected.

"Not the way I'm supposed to!" You pull back just enough to meet his eye. His brown hair is still mussed with sweat from his game. "It was supposed to be instant and special and perfect, but--"

You swallow down your rising panic and glance back at the door.

"I'm not connecting with him," you admit. You love your son, but he's just a baby. All he does is sleep, eat, and cry. There's no special spark about him, nothing that would make you lift a car or die in his honor. It's hard to feel anything when you're so exhausted.

"I think I'm broken."

Ushijima processes this for a long while, the rub of his thumbs much slower now.

"It's not the same," he says quietly. "But, I've never easily connected with anyone, not even you."

It's true. Ushijima is a good man, but he struggles socially to this day. He turns down outings that he isn't interested in, misses social ques and norms, and can be rude without meaning to.

And yet, people still manage to grow warm to him. Hell, you fell in love with the man after months of despising him.

"That does make me feel better."

"Give it time." He pats your back. "I'll take you to the doctor tomorrow."

"I don't need a doctor, I just need time."

He reaches down and grazss over the bare skin if your tit; you had forgotten it was out. "Your breast is hot to the touch. I can feel it through my shirt."

You pull back and feel for yourself. It is uncomfortably warm; you'd been so distressed that you hadn't noticed. That explains the pain.

"We can't. The baby's too little to bring to the doctor's-- there's too many germs, he'll get sick."

"Tendou will babysit," he replies, like it's simple.

"He lives hours away."

Ushijima's already pulling out his phone. "He will come. Go rest and eat- I'll handle everything tonight."

Coming from him, everything sounds so easy. You're frazzled over the fact you reached such a boiling point; does anyone else struggle like this? Or is it just you?

"Are you sure I'm not a bad mom?" You ask again.

He looks back at you and nods, a smile tight on his lips. "Of course I am."

You believe him.

[jinwoowoo]

Flames

Male reader x Aespa Winter

Length: 5564 words

TW: smut

Perfection is a word you rarely use, if not, have not used it at all, believing that everything has its own flaws and weaknesses. It is almost like a mantra of your life, an excuse to let every mistake in your life have a reason why it happens, but that stubborn way of thinking changed after you met Kim Minjeong.

Minjeong, who prefers to be called by her friends as Winter, has an exceptional beauty comparable to a fine winter morning. Her beautiful eyes shine like sparkling snow reflecting the sunshine. Her nose is so small it looks like a fawn resting peacefully inside its hole, protected against the layer of the cold snow. Most of all, her cold glare and attitude against strangers fit her name, that's why they wonder how a tacky, not-so-cool-looking guy like you managed to melt her ice-cold heart.

Though you see Minjeong as a perfection, a pearl among a sea of pebbles, she sees herself differently. She loves how you cherish and worship her like a lover, respecting her for who and what she is, but she still can't help but compare herself to others. Society has this image of what they define as a sexy, alluring woman; marvelous bust, tiny waist, and round hips. Minjeong fits on all of it except the first category.

Even if she has a smaller, sexier hip and waist compared to other women in her same frame, Minjeong’s breasts are too small to be considered a woman’s. Because of her tight, teenager-like body, Minjeong has frequently become a target of malicious unwitty slanders on Instagram; that a chopping board has more curves than her breasts and kissing them will let you know what kissing a man’s chest feels like.

“Babe, what’s wrong?” you ask Minjeong during your cozy cuddle, sensing her sudden gloom as you spoon her on the couch. Today is one of the rare days when both of you are out of work. Every time you two are free, Minjeong invites herself over to your house to hang out, sometimes arranging a dinner date in advance to enjoy sweet moments together.

“Oh, it is nothing, oppa. Don’t worry about it.” Minjeong replies, dispirited.

You take a peek over Minjeong’s shoulder to see what she’s been doing, and you witness something that breaks your heart. Hands trembling as she tries to control both anger and sadness breaking her heart, Minjeong scrolls through her latest Instagram post, reporting every malicious comment about her.

Minjeong senses the fiery anger fuming out of your nose touching her skin, scrolling downward to refresh the app quickly. She knows and is aware of what you have done to help her against her haters, reporting and filing cases against some of them, and she doesn’t want to bring this more in front of you, more than today you two are supposed to be chilling out and getting cozy.

You reach over Minjeong’s body and shut her phone screen off. Setting her device on the coffee table in front of her, you hold your girlfriend by her shoulders, spinning her body to face you.

Meeting you eye to eye, Minjeong cannot suppress her feelings anymore. She breaks down, wailing against your chest heavily. Your blood boils in an instant, filled with rage as you see a fragile kind girl like Minjeong crying and hurting over some trolls behind their monitor who doesn't care how much they hurt the person they are criticizing. Your fists clench until your knuckles turn white. You want to punch someone, you truly are, but you suppress your anger as Minjeong needs you right now. Grabbing some tissues on the coffee table, you wipe Minjeong’s tears, rubbing her back to calm her down.

“Oppa… Do I look hideous?” Minjeong asks while sobbing, stifling between her words.

“Of course, not! Why are you asking that? You are the prettiest girl I have ever seen, Minjeong. The most beautiful woman I fell in and will love forever”

“But the comments on my Instagram account. They said I look ugly. Maybe I-"

As you don’t want to hear Minjeong doubt herself and assure her she isn't as ugly, you lean forward and shut her lips with a kiss. Minjeong gasps, startled by the sudden kiss. Her hands grasp your shirt, toes are curling when you deepen the kiss.

“You are not ugly, Minjeong. People who call you ugly don't know the real definition of beauty, let alone know you personally. Please don't doubt about your looks." Patting her head, Minjeong slowly nods her head, now blushing and burying her face on your chest again for a different reason.

Feeling Minjeong relaxing, your chest feels a lot lighter now. You hold her chin with your thumb and index finger, lifting her head to face you again. With eyes sparkling like stars, lips quivering as they touch, puckering and parting away, it is Minjeong’s turn to catch you off guard, leaning forward and surprise you with a kiss.

You kiss her back and up the notch, licking her lips for an entrance that she didn’t hesitate to provide. The simple soft soothing kiss to calm down Minjeong slowly turned into a making out, her hands wrapping around your neck to pull you on a deeper kiss. The sound of your lips smooching and smacking, followed by soft groans and wet sucking of each other’s tongues broke the silence of the quiet morning.

Your body heats up in excitement, and you can feel Minjeong feel the same when your hand slides under her shirt, rubbing the skin of her back. Her legs are rubbing against each other, seldomly hitting your leg with her knee as the heat reaches her core. Getting needy as she is, your other hand reached for Minjeong’s top leg, lifting it so you can slide in your thigh between her legs. Your girlfriend slowly slides her crotch on your thigh, her body grinding against your torso.

Minjeong is having the best feeling of her life completely forgotten the malicious comments about her on her Instagram, now that the one that truly cares for her worships and loves her back. She grabs the hem of your shirt, tugging and begging for you to take them off. You smirk between the kiss and pull away, staring at your girlfriend's eyes who's aroused right now.

“W-why, oppa?” she asks, stuttering as her lips quiver, already missing the taste of your lips. “Why did you stop?”

“Because this isn’t the place to treat you with love, my princess. Let’s go back to our love nest.” Smiling, almost a smirk, you answer Minjeong with a wink.

Minjeong was still flabbergasted when you rolled and stood out of the couch. She yelps when you scoop her body, easily lifting her body and carrying her to the bedroom. Slowly, you put Minjeong down on the bed, letting her sit on the edge as you take your shirt and pants off, leaving you in your boxer. Putting your hand over Minjeong’s shoulder, you gently push her down until she's lying on her back, you hovering on top of her. Your hand that holds her shoulder now reaches upward to cup her cheek, the other rests beside her head to keep your body supported.

“You are so beautiful, Minjeong. I can’t help myself but fall for you even more.” You told her the sweetest yet sexily as you could.

“Hmph. Flatterer.” Minjeong huffs, looking away from your melting gaze.

You chuckle and hold your girlfriend by her cheek, turning her head to face you. Her blushing cheeks and welling eyes are the most adorable you have seen, a stare hitting your heart directly and calling out for your love. Losing your control already, you dived in and captured Minjeong’s lips with yours, continuing the making out you two hadn't finished on the couch.

Minjeong gasps, feeling the fiery heat of your love surging in the kiss. Her hands reach forward and rest on your chest, but you immediately take them on each of your hands and pin them beside her head. Her fingers entangle with yours, nails digging on your skin as your hungry wet kisses trail down from her lips down to her jawline.

“O-oppa~ mhhh~” Minjeong groans a throaty moan, fueling your lust further.

You don’t stop kissing her neck until you leave hickeys all over her soft skin, marking her as yours. You keep going further south until you face the hem of her shirt, quickly biting on the fabric and pulling it up to her chest using your teeth to reveal her sexy tummy. With no hesitation, you dwell down, and French kisses her belly button, tongue sweeping the sweet tiny hole.

Minjeong groans from the sudden surge of pleasure, her hands slip out of your hold and immediately grabs the pillow sheets above her head. She didn’t have the chance to process the delectation she feels as you raise her shirt higher, taking her bra up along the way to expose her perky boobs.

The tingling feeling suppressed Minjeong’s urge to hold her moan as your fingers played with her nipples, trapping each inverted nub between your ring and middle finger while the rest pressed and played against her teats.

Squirming hard and lively underneath you, the way Minjeong’s body moves shakes the cage of the wolf inside you. You want to be an unleashed beast, to become feral and feast on the poor gentle fawn beneath you, but you always remind yourself that you must take care of Minjeong’s needs first.

You stop kissing your girlfriend’s sexy midriff and capture one of her teats in your mouth, suckling on it with your tongue rolling on the hardened bean. The sweet taste of her perfect size boobs fills your buds, your glands activating to salivate and savor every flavor you could get. Your free hand roams on the side of her body, tracing the outline of her slim alluring waist until it goes down to her pubic, reaching down to discover her heating core.

Minjeong closes her legs in a snap, trapping your hand to stop your advancement but you still prevail and push her soaked panty aside. Your digits are immediately coated with her slick juice that she squirts after you sucked her breast a bit harder. Wasting no time, you plunge your middle finger inside Minjeong, sliding in and out leisurely while using your thumb and pinky finger to spread her thighs apart.

“Oppa~ ahh~ more please~” Minjeong pants heavily, her neediness shown in every word.

“More of what, Mindeongie? You should tell oppa more clearly” you tease, earning you an unsatisfied grunt from your cute girlfriend.

“P-put more inside me, please~ I need yo-mhhhp! ~" You abrupt Minjeong’s words mid-sentence by putting your index and ring fingers in,

Minjeong’s back arches, pushing forward against your chest as your additional fingers inside her descend deeper into her dripping cavern, each thick digit curling and pressing hard against her warm walls. Her love honey squirts out, wetting the back of your hand as it keeps pumping her.

You stop devouring your girlfriend’s boobs to watch her squirm in pleasure. Her eyes are shut tight, lips parted with tongue sticking out, trying to elicit a moan but can't as she finds herself choking on pleasure.

As you keep giving Minjeong the care she needs, your fingers feel a sudden tightness around them; your hand is soaked and dripping. Her moans are getting high-pitched, breathing turns erratic as she trashes her head around. Knowing that she is already at her limit, you decide to level up your game. You lay down beside Minjeong and tuck her hair behind her ear, blowing hot moist air on her neck.

“Don’t’ hold it, Mindeongie. Oppa wants to feel his baby squirt~” you whisper in Minjeong’s ears, stimulating her mind just as you do her body.

“No! ~ Nghh ~ You are so unfair, oppa~” she wince, still fighting her urge not to cum

Growing impatient, you pump your fingers harder, intentionally making loud, lewd. and wet noises. You then whisper in Minjeong’s ears how much naughty she is for being so wet right now, that her little coochie makes not-so-innocent sounds. You position the base of your palm above her slit, finding her swollen clit effortlessly, and rub it in circles.

Minjeong feels her defense crumbling, slowly succumbing to the pleasure and urge to climax. Having you near her neck, sucking her pulse point, and licking the back of her ear doesn't help either. With a suppressed squeal, each muscle of her body tensing, Minjeong finally let go and orgasms hard against your hand. Her pussy clamps vice around your fingers, thighs trapping your arm as her warm juice floods your hand. Her breathing hitches for a while, mind shuts down due to overstimulation.

“Oppa… I really hate you… You perv…” she pants between her words, eyes still trying to focus.

“Awww~ I love you too, Minjeongie. But I’m sorry. Oppa is still not done with you yet.”

You pat Minjeong’s head and give her a sweet peck before reaching for her clothes. Minjeong groans as she tries to move her tired body, helping the much as she can while you undress her. Now that she’s fully naked, you remove your boxer from your hips, finally unleashing your penis that's been begging for Minjeong’s touch.

“Babe, can you help me with here please?” you beg cutely, earning a chuckle from your girlfriend.

You grab Minjeong’s small hand and wrap her fingers around your veiny shaft, forming a knuckle with a hole to slide your penis on. Minjeong giggles as you give her puppy eyes, which she always says doesn't suit you, yet always falls for it. She slowly moves her hand back and forward, stroking your penis delicately while pulling it closer to her at the same time. You just follow her tugs until you are kneeling beside her head, your bulbous glans reaching close to her face.

“Do I have to suck it? It looks dirty" Minjeong teases, making you pout. "I’m just kidding, babe. Kneel in front of me"

You follow Minjeong's command and straddle her chest, hips hovering above her so you won’t crush her body with your weight. Your girlfriend smirks and parts her lips, attempting to catch and put your dick inside her mouth without the help of her hands. Her futile attempts only cause your dick to grind all over her beauty. Sometimes you make your dick twitch once it aligns with her lips so she has to try capturing it again.

Annoyed and needy, Minjeong surrenders to putting your dick into her mouth using only her lips and finally uses both hands, stroking it hard and rough as a little petty revenge for your teasing, before putting it inside her mouth.

The pleasure your cute girlfriend's small lips give makes you groan sexily. Her soft yet rough tongue flicks on the slit of the tip, harvesting the oozing precum as if your glans is a tap that releases precious sap. You look down and watch Minjeong giggle while sucking your dick, not sure if she finds her actions funny or she’s enjoying having your dick in her mouth; nonetheless, she looks so cute and innocent.

Your hips thrust slowly, carefully fucking Minjeong’s mouth to the back of her throat. She hates it when she gags, complaining that your penis is too big for her throat. You once tried to teach your girlfriend how to deepthroat you, but her uvula immediately contracts and pushes your dick away, an unpleasant feeling for both of you.

Though you dream to have Minjeong suck your dick all day, that plan should be done next time. You retreat your hips, pulling your drool-lubed dick out of her wet lips. Minjeong tries to chase your dick back, looking like a puppy chasing for her treat, but she pouts at you when you rest your whole length on her face instead.

"Appetizer's over, baby~ time for the main course." You coo, putting your hand on Minjeong’s cheek where she grinds over it.

You go out of bed and position yourself in front of Minjeong. Slowly, you crawl your way up starting from her feet, kissing her soles and calves. You then fold her knees and point them to the ceiling, pushing her heels closer to her cute ass. Getting closer to her thighs, your girlfriend tries to kick her legs and straighten out of impulse, feeling ticklish as your tongue and warm breath touch her rosy skin.

You hold Minjeong’s legs firmly, spread them apart, and invite yourself to have a taste of her body. The juices she squirted still linger on her thighs, adding exquisite flavor to her soft skin. You purposely make loud and lewd licking sounds, telling Minjeong how much you enjoy her taste that words can’t convey.

Minjeong curses under her breath as she feels your warm breath teasing her shaven pussy. Her toned legs are trying to close but your body blocks her attempt. Even if you want to taste her more, you teased Minjeong enough and can’t contain your excitement any further.

You trail your perverted tongue from her sexy tummy up to her jawline, hastily capturing her lips and making out with her.

Minjeong’s body squirms underneath you. Her craves for your touch, the lingering feeling of your body against her skin that keeps her warm, are expressed by each slight movement of her body. Her hands slide from your shoulders down to your chest, and one continues to go south until she holds your dick and aims the head in front of her entrance.

You stop kissing Minjeong and look her in the eyes. Minjeong stares back, gulping hard when she feels your warm heavy breath blowing on her face, and nods slowly. She strokes your penis a few more times before pushing the head inside her, letting you do the rest.

“Fuck…” you and Minjeong moan lowly in unison.

Minjeong embraces your body tightly, gasping as you keep pushing and putting your whole penis inside her vagina. Her walls immediately contract around your dick, recognizing its owner and welcoming it with a warm hug. You move your hips slowly, allowing your girlfriend to adjust to your size.

Your leisurely slow pace continues, letting Minjeong enjoy the pleasure your dick gives her. She moans softly as you push in, grinding your dick against her sensitives, but whines adorably when you retreat your hips and pull some of your lengths out. Her fingers are digging into your skin, scratching and wounding up the old wounds she dealt on your back.

“Shit, baby… Why do you look so cute even while having sex?” you groan on Minjeong’s face.

With her eyes half-lid, welling up with cheeks reddened in a rosy hue, Minjeong’s lips parted as she pants, her red tongue sticking out and looking like a puppy. You release a raspy growl, feeling the lust residing deep inside you unleash.

With one arm wrapped around Minjeong’s shoulders, you pull your girl closer to your body, capturing her lips and harshly making out with her. Your thrust increases its pace, pistoning Minjeong’s slick pussy roughly.

Minjeong’s hug on you tightens, embracing her body to accept your wild relentless thrusts. Your sudden roughness sends her to her climax, cumming around your thick and have her juices splashing as your hips collide. Her moans and air in her lungs are being sucked by you, taking her breath away during her orgasm

Feeling her body being less active, her grip around your pussy tightens as she cums, you let Minjeong catch her breath for a while, unlatching your lips from hers and attacking her neck instead.

“Mhhh~ daddy slow down~” Minjeong whines thoughtlessly, gasping for air.

Minjeong’s words sink in both of your minds in a second, and you realize what she just called you. Lifting your head, eyes wide open out of shock but with lips curving upward while trying to suppress your laughter, you and Minjeong slowly turn your heads to look at each other, too sync that it is almost comical.

Mijeong’s whole face turns red, her ears fuming imaginary steam when she looks at your teasing gaze. Never once in the history of making love with you she calls you daddy, saying it was too cliché and hates being treated like a baby now that she’s an adult, yet here she is right now, uttering such an embarrassing word unknowingly in the middle of sex.

 "What did you just call me, babe?" you ask with a chuckle, breaking the awkward silence between you and her.

“I-I didn’t say anything! It is just your imagination.” Minjeong huffs and turns her head, looking to her side to avoid your teasing gaze.

“Yes, you are. You just called me daddy,” you say back, “can you please call me daddy one more time?”

Taking her hands away from your back, Minjeong crosses her arms and huffs again. “I don’t want to! Hmph. I’m already done. I lost the mood.” Pouting, Minjeong puts her hands on your chest, trying to push you away

“Wait, wait! Okay fine. I’m sorry babe. I won’t insist on it anymore.”

Trying to bring her mood back, you pepper Minjeong with kisses, alternating between wet lewd kisses with ticklish ones. Her stern angry look crumbles easily with your ticklish lips, can’t resist when you are giving her puppy eyes and sincere care. You lean and peck her pouting lips, hand pats her now ruffled hair. Minjeong sighs and wraps her arms around your neck, keeping her eye contact with you.

“You promise? It was just a spur of the moment, okay? I don’t why I called you daddy. Don’t make me say it again, it is embarrassing” Minjeong explains softly, speaking with her lips open as tight as possible.

You nod and peck her lips, your forehead leaning against hers. “Of course, baby. I won’t insist you to call me daddy unless you want to”

The kiss to seal your promise turns into a messy making-out. Minjeong closes her eyes and kisses back, her fingers sliding against the frame of your broad shoulder. Your lips never left hers as you start moving your hips again, slowly picking up the pace with thoughts of not breaking her.

Your hand leaves her head to knead her boobs, pushing the supple flesh with the base of your palm. As Minjeong breaks the kiss to catch her breath, moaning in pleasure, you lower your kisses down to her neck and chest, capturing her unattended breast between the pair and suckling on her nipples.

Minjeong’s whiny moans feel like music to your ears, her body writhing and dancing to the symphony of making love. Her pussy is now slicker and easier to thrust in, walls are contracting around your shaft and massaging it. Wanting to feel you deeper inside her, Minjeong spreads her legs wider, her feet barely standing on their toes, almost leaving the drenched sheets.

The monotonous thrusting, though you enjoy being on top of your girlfriend and giving her the climaxes she needs, tires your body easily. You feel that your orgasm is near, but exhaustion slowly chases on you, and might even finish you first before you get your pent-up release. Noticing that your pace becomes sluggish, Minjeong smiles and leans closer, kissing your lips and wiping the sweat on your forehead.

“You look tired already, Daddy. Let Mindeongie ride you this time”

Minjeong’s words shock you especially when she spoke in a sweet cute voice and have the thought of her hating calling you daddy. She seizes the chance while you are flabbergasted and flips your bodies over, being the one on top this time. The sweet and caring Minjeong you know has changed, flipping her personality and now letting you be the receiving end.

Your girlfriend leans down and captures your lips with hers, sucking the air and soul out of your lungs and body during the kiss. Your hands instinctively reach for her waist to hug them, but she intercepts you midway and pins your hands on each side of your head. Just like how you do her, Minjeong kisses your jawline and neck, slowly positioning herself to sit upright with your dick impaling her pussy.

Moving her hips up and down, groaning as your whole shaft slides against her velvety walls in a new yet familiar way, Minjeong moves her body sexily on her desired state. Her eyes are half-lidded, pupils rolling to the back of her head, her cheeks flushed and drunk in pleasure, even drooling and biting her bottom lip to suppress her sultry moans; you are on a treat with Minjeong’s sexy show while she’s riding you.

Her grip on your hands is slowly getting weaker, allowing you to unpin your hands from the space beside your head. You place Minjeong’s hands over your shoulder, freeing yours so you can hold her by the waist.

After a few minutes of riding you, bouncing herself on your lap and having countless orgasms, Minjeong reaches her limit and falls on top of your body. You peck and kiss Minjeong’s forehead, combing her hair to the back of her head to thank her for a wonderful ride. Gaining bits of your strength back after Minjeong’s ride, you flip your bodies over, hovering on top of your girlfriend again and fucking her to chase your orgasm.

Minjeong whines and complains as she is still sensitive, triggering a cluster of orgasms that sends her nerves haywire. Her pussy holds and tightens around you, sucking your penis deeper as if it wants you to penetrate even her womb.

As the tightness in your groin grows stronger, breathing gets heavier with some blood on your brain sending down to the other head for additional backup, you lose your control over your lust and reach your peak, cumming hard inside Minjeong. Ropes and ropes of your semen shoot out of your penis, filling up Minjeong’s heated womb to the brim, even leaking some of it to the crevices of your connection.

After the intense orgasm, exhaustion hitting you like a truck sending you to a parallel universe, your dick grows sensitive and limp, slipping out of your girlfriend’s swollen gaping hole. You pull Minjeong and hug her tight, keeping her convulsing body to post orgasm warm in your embrace.

You roll to your side and snuggle her, burying her face to your chest. She once said that your heavy panting and warm breath blowing on her hair helps her to calm down, so you are doing your best to keep your bodies tangled together after sex. Gaining her senses back, nerves calming, Minjeong looks up from your chest, slapping your pecs playfully.

“You meanie… I told you to slow down…” Minjeong whines, looking like a child in your arms

“Sorry, babe. You are just irresistible”

Mustering the rest of your strength, you pull Minjeong to the side of the bed, wrapping her with the dirty sheets and carry her to the bathroom princess style. She complains a bit, worried that you might turn her into a cute “sushi roll” by fucking her while she’s wrapped up like a sushi, but you promise that you just want to clean her up.

You unwrap Minjeong and let the warm water soak her body, sweat, and other bodily fluids being washed away while the heat of the water calms her muscles down. You go back to the bedroom and clean up all the mess, wiping fluids from the floor and airing the scent of sex out. After cleaning and changing the sheets, you went back to Minjeong and saw her staring at the bathroom mirror.

“What’s wrong, Minjeong? You seem to be deep in your thoughts." Hugging her from behind, you kiss her shoulder and ask.

“Nothing is wrong, oppa.” Minjeong shakes her head, but she knows you are not convinced by mere words. Sighing dispirited, she turns around and faces you, putting her hands on your waist. “I’m just thinking of some things. May I ask you something, oppa?”

“Of course, Minjeong. I am your boyfriend; you are free to share your thoughts with me if they bother you.”

You hug and carry Minjeong by her butt, where she instantly wraps her legs around your waist and brings her back to the shower. It became your habit to keep a small plastic stool on the shower for moments like this, letting Minjeong sit on the small chair while you lather her body with soapy water.

“Do I bore you? Most guys prefer busty women with nice hips and tiny waists, but here I am, chest flatter than a teenager” Minjeong rants while behaving like a puppy getting bathed by her owner

“Most guys just admire something big, Minjeong. Others love big butts, some love huge breasts because they look like their mom’s when they were being nurtured,” you answer, making Minjeong tilt her head back and look at you. “But that doesn’t mean all guys are the same. I love you, Minjeong, everything about you. I don't love you for your looks alone. You just came to my boring life and made everything perfect. And I want to be like that to yours. I will do everything that will make you happy. So Minjeong, will-”

“Stop being cheesy, idiot. Don’t say something like a marriage proposal while we are in the showers.” Minjeong hushes you quickly, blushing and turning small right after.

You chuckle and raise your hands, retreating and stopping being flirty with Minjeong. You pool a huge amount of water on the basin and rinse your girlfriend in an instant. After cleaning yourself up and drying up your body with Minjeong, you carry her back to the bedroom and tuck her under the newly replaced sheets, cuddling her in a spooning position.

“You still didn’t answer my question, oppa. Do I bore you?” Minjeong asks once more while scrolling through her Instagram feed.

“Me? Getting bored of you? Of course not. You turn everything around me exciting and I even feel sad that we have to sleep than having fun together.” You cheekily reply.

“Gosh… stop being cheesy. You know how hard I fall for your corny antics. But no jokes, oppa, Do I bore you?” Minjeong asks for the third tike

“Never, Minjeong. I sincerely don’t find you boring. Why do you ask though?”

Minjeong smiles excitedly and scrolls more through her feed until she finds one of her close friend's accounts. She taps on the username to view the full profile, along with some of her pinned posts.

“This is my friend, Jimin, but I sometimes call her Karina. She has beautiful breasts and a plump ass. I was wondering if you would agree to have a threesome with us." Minjeong explains excitedly, keeping her finger on her phone to scroll and show more of her friend’s photos.

The girl in the subject is indeed one hell of a beauty. Her boobs are enormous and a bit saggy, bouncing on even slight movement she does. She has a taut midriff and defined abs as well, lean arms and toned thighs that tell you she works out a lot. You are a bit concerned though as her face looks like a video game character, that she might be using some filters to hide her real beauty. Nonetheless, your mind goes back to Minjeong’s words.

"A threesome? Where did that thought come from? I didn't know you were up to something kinky."

"D-don't call me kinky! I'm just feeling guilty that I can't give you much of what other men feel during sex time with their partner. Karina unnie is bi and has experience in handling both genders on the same bed, so I was wondering if we could bring her to a threesome the next time we have sex."

Minjeong’s explanation gave you a sudden spurt of lust, turning you on in an instant. "Okay we will do it, but I want you to be the mediator over us. If you feel jealous or insecure, we will stop immediately after that."

Minjeong nods fast and with excitement. The thought of a threesome never came to your mind as you are contented with Minjeong, but right now, your heart won’t stop beating fast knowing that two best friends are willing to share the same bed and get naughty with you. Your dick got hard immediately after imagining them moaning your name. Out of instinct, more of a habit, you hold Minjeong by her waist and push back inside her pussy, flipping your body over until she’s on her stomach while you are on top of her.

“Eh?! I thought you were already tired, oppa” Minjeong gasps as she feels you penetrating her again.

“I know, baby. I know… Just one more time, please?”

You hug Minjeong’s body, trapping her arms along with your embrace and start fucking her like a rabbit in heat. Little did you know, this is just the start of a new chapter of your love story with Minjeong, where the smoldering heat of love your girlfriend provides to you will grow stronger, melding with the scorching, roaring fire her best friend will bring to your life.

[archangeldyke-all]

okay so, sevika and reader have been friends for a few years and obviously there’s feelings but they won’t admit it🤭 and reader goes on a date but gets stood up😟 and sevika comes across her crying her eyes out and maybe there’s some feelings coming out??

CUTE cute cute

men and minors dni

good luck on your date

you sigh as you stare at the message from sevika. she's so sweet-- checking in on you because she knows you're nervous.

there's no new messages for you from your date-- no new messages from anybody besides the one from sevika.

you try to relax. it's only been ten minutes, your date will show up eventually. she'll probably be here in a minute, with an explanation for her lateness. you take another sip of water and pick at the roll you've been eating, then play a quick game of solitare on your phone.

you win. you check your phone again. 15 minutes late now, no new messages.

she's late. you text back to sevika. the message is read in an instant, and you feel yourself relax incrementally at the sight of the little typing bubble in the corner of your phone.

relax. she's probably just in traffic. sevika's response comes through. you sigh, wishing that sevika was here with you.

it's not that you guys are stupid. you both know there's a shared attraction between you two. it's just that...

it's just that sevika's your best friend. and you're her best friend. and both of you are so guarded that it's nearly impossible to make any new friends, so you need each other, forever, preferably. and a relationship would just... complicate that. and jeopardize it. right?

you don't know. you're starting to question that decision, on your end. because this is the fifth first date you've been on in a month, and you're getting fucking sick of it. you wish things could be easy, like they are with sev. if she was here, you'd both be too busy laughing and joking to look at the menu. and when you finally did, you'd likely order two dishes that you'll share equally, because you're both indecisive and like variety. and you'd drink through a bottle of wine and end the night with a shared slice of cake, and then crash at sevika's-- cuddled together in her bed while a movie plays in the background.

but it's not sevika you're waiting on-- sevika'd never keep you waiting in the first place. it's a girl you met on tinder, who seemed incredibly interested in you over text, but now that you're meant to meet it seems like she's much less into you.

it's been a half hour now. you're getting a little worked up, horrible thoughts swirling in your mind as humiliation starts to settle in your stomach. the waitress has been shooting pitying looks your way, your date's ice water has melted into just water now.

your phone buzzes, and you scramble to open it. she there yet? sevika asks. you bite your lip.

no. how long do i have to wait before i accept that she stood me up? you reply.

you anxiously watch sevika's typing bubble pop up, then down, then up, then down again. you gulp.

give it ten more minutes. if she doesn't show, block her. sevika replies. you chuckle, taking a deep breath and leaning back in your seat.

okay. ten more minutes. you can do that.

you play another round of solitaire and eat another piece of bread. each time someone walks past your table your head whips up to look at them. it's never the girl from the app, it's just waiters and couples.

a lump is forming in your throat-- this is why you don't fucking date. people are unpredictable and rude, and you can't stop yourself from feeling like a fucking idiot for even trying. you feel... ugly and strange and rejected and undesirable, and the more time that passes, the worse that feeling gets. you feel tears starting to build in your eyes, and you duck your head, pretending to study the menu to hide the fact that you're crying.

"hey, beautiful." you jump, your head snapping up from the table top to look at the woman across the table from you. relief floods your body at the sight of your best friend kicking the chair out and slumping against it. she reaches across the table and wipes your tears away, and you lean against her palm.

"hey, sevika." you sigh. she smiles sadly at you, pinching your cheek before putting her hand back on the table.

"i'm sorry your date's an idiot. she doesn't know what she's missing out on." sevika says as she grabs your hand. you smile.

"you don't have to say--"

"shut up. you wanna eat here or you want me to take you home?" she asks. you sigh and squeeze her fingers.

"let's eat. i'm starving, and i'd feel even worse if i went home and let this outfit go to waste." you say. sevika smirks.

"you do look hot." she says. you giggle.

"you do too." you say, nodding at your friend. she must've gotten dressed up to come rescue you-- her usual weekend sweats traded out for nice dress slacks and a button up-- and it makes your heart skip a beat. "thanks for coming."

"fuck off, i'd do anything for you, you know that." she says, not looking up from her menu. you squeak, then reach up to cover your mouth, and sevika looks up from her menu to study you. "what?" she asks. you blink at her.

"why..." you trail off. sevika raises an eyebrow at you.

"what?"

"forget it. what're you getting?" you ask.

dinner goes like it always does. you guys share your food, split a bottle of wine, laughing and talking the entire time. you can't tell if she's trying to be a little extra caring toward you because you've been stood up, or if she's always like this: feeding you bites from her plate, holding your hand when you're not using it to eat.

you also can't stop thinking about how this feels better than any date you've been on this month. you can't stop thinking about how soft sevika's hair looks, how fucking sweet she is when she smiles all big and toothy, how warm her hand is, and how attractive and tantalizing the tiny flash of cleavage under her unbuttoned top buttons is.

when the night ends, sevika insists on paying. you try your best to pay the bill, but sevika kicks you under the table hard enough to bruise and glares at you when you reach for your wallet. so, you let her handle the check.

she walks you out of the restaurant with her arm slung around your shoulders, and you try to keep yourself from leaning against her chest and inhaling the smell of her cologne.

"did you drive here? i can give you a ride home." she offers. you turn to look at her, studying her under the streetlights. you've been through an emotional roller-coaster tonight, but with sevika by your side, you feel settled. she's beautiful and considerate, and you're tipsy off wine and warm from the night spent with your best friend, so you ask the question before you can second guess yourself.

"why aren't we dating?" you ask. sevika blinks at you, her eyebrows shooting up her head.

"what?"

"i mean. it makes sense, right? i find you attractive, and you find me..."

"beyond gorgeous." sevika fills in, nodding. you laugh.

"and we get along great and... i dunno, sev. i've been on so many dates but none of them feel anywhere near as right as just sitting on the couch with you. and i know we're friends but i don't think... i don't think much would change, do you?" you ask. sevika's still shocked, but there's a tiny smile playing on her lips.

"really?" she asks. you shrug.

"yeah. you've never thought about it?"

"i think about it all the time." she says. "all the time."

"really?"

"i've been tearing my hair out all month. each time you went on a date i'd be at home fucking praying that it didn't work out. i just thought-- i thought you wouldn't want me." she says. you gulp.

"of course i'd want you." you say.

"is this finally happening?" she whispers. you giggle.

"if you want it to." you say. she grins.

then, she's kissing you. her lips are soft and warm, and you feel fireworks in your stomach. you reach up to bury your fingers in her hair, and she wraps her arms around your waist, backing you up until you're against the brick of the restaurant.

you moan against her lips and she growls, sinking her teeth into your lower lip. you gasp.

"f-fuck, sev."

she pulls away with a smirk.

"sorry. been wanting to do that for a while." she says. you smile.

"do it again." you say. she grins.

"i think you're only supposed to kiss once after the first date." you giggle and pinch her side, and she laughs.

taglist!

@fyeahnix @sapphicsgirl @half-of-a-gay @ellabslut @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner @shimtarofstupidity @love-sugarr @chuucanchuucan @222danielaa @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther @gr0ssz0mbi3 @ellsss @sevikaspillowprincess @leomatsuzaki @emiliabby

[joyoushyuck]

15:45

Donghyuck is shooting you a wide-eyed look, lips set in a pout, batting his lashes and all. His manipulation is as clear as daylight. He knows you can't resist his charm when he brings out his fatal puppy eyes. Under normal circumstances, you would have given in by now, but this is anything but normal.

You take another look at what you are sure is the ugliest house plant ever, repulsed by the mere sight of it. You don't understand why Donghyuck would go out of his way to pick the strangest of plants everytime he stepped into a nursery. You remember his past infamous pet plants. His devil’s ivy (which he so lovingly called divy) almost killed Daegal, and his mother of thousands was so revolting that his own mother refused to drop by until he got rid of it.

Now he wants a goddamn sea onion of all things to add to your list of greatest miseries. It's not even a seedling, it is fully grown and at a point where it just cannot get anymore hideous. The cherry on top is definitely the bulb sitting on top of the soil.

“Stop calling my baby ugly!” He whines.

You sigh, rubbing your temples. You sense an oncoming headache. “Hyuck, there are some ferns over there,” you point in the general direction of some decent-looking plants. “Do you want to take a look at them before we make a decision? I saw some moth orchids too-”

“Baby!” His gripe cuts you off. “We formed an instant connection the moment our eyes met! I just know this is it!”

You don't want to know what eyes he is talking about. The poor salesboy who had the misfortune of helping you find a plant looks like he is two seconds away from crying. Donghyuck is still giving you his fatal puppy eyes. This plant would ruin your aesthetics.

“Fine,” you relent reluctantly because the headache is getting worse and the salesboy is getting teary eyed. Not because you love Donghyuck or something.

Donghyuck does a small victory dance and cups your cheeks to press a quick kiss on your lips. It doesn't make your heart somersault into your stomach at all.

That's just gross.

If months later, you are the one taking care of Mr. Anion (a terrible pun) while Donghyuck (being the irresponsible father that he is) is on a world tour, it isn't because you love him either. Or whatever.

That's just gross.

-

Note

Working on your requests. Might take some time:)

Also Donghyuck would 100% be ugly plants enthusiast. He has that type of unhinged energy. Reblog if you agree.

(reblog even if you don't agree because it'll help me π_π)

P.S I'll answer the asks once I'm done writing the requests. I read all of them.

[marvelouslizzie]

i wanna ruin our friendship

summary: James “Bucky” Barnes is a famous actor who just turned 40. He’s getting old and struggling with the fact that he isn’t what he used to be. When he finally opens up to you about how he’s struggling with body image, you assure him in a very unexpected way. Things take a turn after that point.

pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader (Celebrity Bucky Barnes x Actress Reader)

word count: 4.1K

warnings: 18+ NSFW MINORS DNI, long period of friendship, unspoken feelings, minor jealousy, alcohol consumption, body image struggles (Bucky is just struggling because of Hollywood’s unrealistic body standards), fear of aging and losing who you are, misunderstandings, pet names, slight dirty talk and praising if you squint, no use of a condom (the reader is on birth control), Bucky is 40 while the reader is 37, no use of y/n.

a/n: I was reading one of Sebastian’s old interviews where he mentions body dysmorphia and how it affects him. It inspired me to write this story. I hope you like it.

The story is beta-read by my dear @notafunkiller. Thank you so much!

All work is mine, please do not repost or translate without my permission. Every like, comment and reblog is highly appreciated.

The after-party is buzzing with energy. The room is crowded with so many familiar faces, you can’t even start naming everyone even if you tried. Sometimes you wonder how you ended up in a place like this, then you remember that you are an actress, too. It feels surreal because you were planning to stay a theater actress until you found your big break unexpectedly on the big screen.

That’s actually how you met James Barnes, your first on-screen partner. That’s how everyone called him, but you and a few close friends were always calling him Bucky. It makes you feel special. You look at him and see how he’s talking to Natasha Romanoff, his current partner. They are taking pictures together. You are sure it is meant to be shared by Natasha on her Instagram.

You find yourself walking towards the bar and ordering another drink. You usually don’t drink too much, trying to stay sober but having fun. It’s a thin line, but you managed to keep the balance so far. That gives paps less tea to share online. Tonight feels a bit different and you know it’s because of Bucky and Natasha. They are the perfect couple and you can’t help but feel jealous. Even though you have no right because Bucky is just a friend. 

A hundred chit-chats later, you see Bucky in the corner of the crowded room. He seems down for some reason, you can always tell by the look on his face. He’s good at concealing how he feels. It’s almost like a poker face, but his eyes and his posture always give it away. Slowly, you walk towards him and he notices you right before you sit next to him.

“Hey, handsome. Why are you crying into your beer?”

“I’m not.” His answer is instant and you don’t buy it.

“Come on. I know you better than that. One minute you were happy, enjoying yourself, and now look at you: you're sulking in the corner. Something must have happened.”

He sighs. “I don’t wanna talk about it.”

“You know you can talk to me about anything, right?” 

You think he maybe had a problem with Natasha and she isn’t around right now. Which is rare. Even though everybody’s attention is on her, she’s always around Bucky. You think it’s because of the unlabeled thing they have going on since they started working together. You never dared to ask if they are together or not. You aren’t ready for that answer yet.

“I know, doll. You are my best friend, but I just…” He stops for a second to think how he’s going to say this. “I don’t feel like myself.”

“What does that mean?” You ask with a frown.

“I’m not who I used to be.”

“Bucky, what are you talking about?”

He takes a deep breath. “I don’t feel like I’m that handsome talented guy I used to be, okay? I feel ugly and…” He looks down at his body. “Fat.”

“Oh, come on!”

“That’s the truth.”

“You are being ridiculous.”

“I’m not and I’m not the only one who thinks so.”

Oh. He must have read something.

“Please don’t tell me you looked at the comments again.”

“I… did.” He accepts with a defeated tone.

“We talked about this before. You should never do that.” Your tone reminds him of a teacher scolding their student and it makes him smile so slightly, but you don’t see it. 

“I didn’t do it on purpose, darling. Natasha shared a photo of us together and I just went to like it.”

Oh.

“And you saw some comments?”

“Yeah. Saying that I’m getting older and uglier. I know I’m not a young man anymore but I’m just 40. Not dead yet, you know?”

“Yeah, of course not.” You take a huge sip from your drink.

“But they don’t think so and I started to notice maybe they are right.”

“Come on, Bucky!”

“I look in the mirror and every day I feel like I see a stranger, not myself. Since I stopped acting in those action movies, I’m not working out and dieting as hard as I used to and it’s so fucking visible. My reflection blinks at me in the mirror. Then I look around to see I’m alone. I’m old and alone. I missed my chance at happiness. I’m lucky if I can find someone to fuck me for the night.”

“I would fuck you, in a heartbeat.” The words just fly out from your lips and you can immediately see their effect on Bucky’s face.

“You would?” His expression seems completely different now.

“Yes… I would.” It’s too late to back down. Your long secret of having a huge crush on Bucky Barnes is basically exposed.

Without saying a word, Bucky takes your hand and drags you out of the after-party without saying goodbye to anyone. You have no idea where you are headed. In a matter of seconds, you find yourself in a cab with Bucky Barnes as he simply gives his house address and says nothing more.

The ride is short and silent. He doesn’t even look in your direction, his eyes are fixed on the road. You are regretting everything. Even the decision to come to this after-party. What were you thinking when you decided to take another drink because you saw Bucky and Natasha taking selfies? Where was your mind when you said you'd fuck him in a heartbeat? He must be so shocked. He's probably planning to talk to you in private, for your friendship’s sake. 

I fucking ruined our friendship, you think.

When the cab ride is over, Bucky pays the driver and holds the door open for you. You are glad to see he’s still a gentleman towards you, even after you said something completely stupid. I should’ve kept my mouth shut, just like I did for years.

Finally, when you step inside his place, Bucky closes the door and pushes you against the wall with a kiss. It’s so unexpected, your breath hitches. His lips are relentless, moving between your lips, your cheek, and your neck. You try to breathe, but it doesn’t feel real.

“I can’t believe we are doing this,” he says between kisses.

You can’t either. You were expecting a serious talk. Not this. 

“We shouldn’t do this.” You suddenly say when you remember Natasha. You didn’t even realize you left her behind when you two left the party so suddenly.

Bucky stops kissing you and looks at you with complete confusion. “I’m sorry… I shouldn’t have assumed. Was that… a pity comment?”

Now it’s your turn to feel confused. A pity comment? You pity yourself for exposing your crush, but definitely no pity for him. No way in hell.

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“You said we shouldn’t do this.”

“Because you are with Natasha and we left her at the party! This is wrong, Bucky. As much as I want to… we shouldn’t.”

“Natasha?”

“Yeah, Natasha.”

“What does Natasha have to do with this?” You can sense the confusion in his voice. It’s like he has no idea what you mean but… it makes no sense. 

“She’s just so nice and pretty. No wonder you two got paired together.” You don’t even notice you didn’t answer this question.

“You think I’m pretty, too?”

You roll your eyes. “Everyone in their right mind could see you're pretty. Why are you even asking?"

"I am asking you, not everyone, doll." And there it is again. That damn nickname. Doll. You love and hate to hear him call you that. It’s warming your insides up until you remember he calls other girls doll, too. Especially Natasha. 

"Stop with the nickname.” You finally say with a pained voice. This whole night is a huge mistake and you will be the one who gets hurt most. You can feel that the friendship you have with Bucky is slipping through your fingers already, so there’s no point in holding back now. “Of course you're pretty: the best eyes, fluffy hair. Tall. Looking good in suits. Two beautiful people."

“She’s just my partner and a good friend, darling. Nothing more.”

“But… but…” You stammer. “You are always together. She never leaves your side.”

“It’s because we are friends and I am helping her out.”

“Helping her out?” You repeat with confusion.

“She gets so much unwanted attention, she uses me as a shield, so less people would come up to her and talk.”

Oh. 

It makes perfect sense and Bucky is always a gentleman. 

“You thought we were together?”

“Yeah… kinda…”

Bucky moves closer to you and puts his hands on your face. “Doll…” Then he remembers what you said about the nickname. “Sorry. I never realized you didn’t like this nickname. I won’t use it anymore.”

His touch is so comforting and you feel relieved that there’s nothing going on between Bucky and Natasha. 

“It’s not that I don’t like it.”

“Then what’s the problem?” 

“I just… remember that you use that nickname all the time. It just doesn’t… feel special.”

“Darling, have you ever heard me calling someone else doll?”

His question makes you stop for a second. You actually never did. You just assumed he would be calling other girls doll as well because of the way he says it… It’s just so sexy. 

“I… didn’t.” You struggle to answer through your confusion. 

“Because I don’t call anyone doll. Except you.”

You can’t find words to respond, it feels like your mind completely stopped working. All you can think is how unbelievable all this is.

“Just me?” You repeat, trying to collect your thoughts.

“Just you.” He says reassuringly. “Can I keep calling you that?”

“Yes. Yes, you can.”

His hand slowly moves to your neck. It makes it even harder to think straight.

“Can I go back to kissing you?” His voice is deeper somehow. 

You gulp first. Then nod. Your response makes him smile and it warms you up. 

You imagined this moment many times, then put that image into the back of your mind just to keep going. Right now, his lips on yours are real. Not a dream, not a fantasy, and it feels so much better. 

The way his lips move fires something inside you. Something you tried to surpass and forget, but that never happened. Whenever you felt his touch, even something as simple as hands brushing, you felt that fire inside you and now it's back. Stronger than ever.

Finally, your hands move to his face, cupping it as he kisses you with passion. Now both of you know that this has nothing to do with pity or self-assurance. That gives you the confidence you need.

Your fingers move towards his shoulders as you put your hands inside his jacket and push it back. It surprises him, but he doesn’t resist, just letting the jacket fall to the ground. Then your fingers travel to his shirt. The first button is open but the rest… You start to unbutton them one by one. Then suddenly you found yourself turned around and pressed against the cold wall. His lips are on the back of your neck and his fingers are looking for the zipper. You smile to yourself when you realize you aren’t the only desperate one here.

“It’s not on the back.” He can hear the smile in your voice even though he can’t see your face.

“Where is it?” He sounds frustrated and it’s so adorable.

“On the side.”

His hands quickly move to your side and find the zipper. In a second, you are already unzipped and your dress is pooled around your ankles. You give it a soft kick and get rid of the dress while you go back to unbuttoning this shirt.

You look up at him to see that he’s watching you undress him. There’s a slight smile on his face. You smile back in response and go back to unbuttoning him. When your work is done, he takes the shirt off himself and just tosses it on the floor. It doesn’t take him long to get rid of your bra. He unclips it so quickly, it surprises you. Everything's happening so fast that you feel like you're swimming. Like this is a dream. You grab his face and give him another kiss to remind yourself this is your reality right now. That you are free to touch him however you want. Your kiss takes a low moan out of him as his fingers travel down to your body, toying with the waistband of your underwear.

“No teasing.” You whisper against his ear and you see how your voice affects him up close. “This time.” You add and that slight smile is back on his lips.

“Are you promising me a next time already?” His voice is so low, so different you barely recognize it. He’s lost in the lust, because of you, and you can’t believe it.

“I mean… Maybe.” You sheepishly smile. You already know you want a second and a third time. He doesn’t have to know that, yet. 

“Hmm… Depends on my performance, huh?” Before you can say anything he pushes his fingers under your last remaining clothes and you feel his finger brushing against your clitoris. A low moan escapes your lips. 

Between him touching your clit and you finding yourself on your back on his couch is a complete blur. You don’t know how you ended up completely naked and Bucky between your legs as holding on to your dear life. His lips are on your pussy, licking and touching, driving you crazy. He definitely knows how to use his tongue and fingers. Even though his fingers aren’t inside you, his touches are skillful. Not too harsh, not too soft. Just the perfect amount of pressure. Then he sucks on your clit and you let out a half painful moan. 

“Are you okay?” He lets go of your clit and looks at you concerned. 

“No sucking on the clit please. Not that you aren’t good at it.” You feel nervous suddenly. “It just hurts. Personal preference.” 

He smiles. “Noted.” And goes back to licking you. Soon the pain is long forgotten. 

It feels like he’s everywhere on the most sensitive part of your body. It’s either his lips, his tongue, his nose or simply his fingers but the pleasure is overwhelming. Soon you find yourself moaning his name out loud while coming hard against his tongue. 

He gives you a couple of minutes but doesn’t move at all. Instead, he pushes his fingers inside you when he decides you are finally back to yourself. When you feel one finger delicately pushing inside you, you raise yourself on the elbows.

“I said no teasing.” 

“This isn’t teasing, doll.” He looks straight into your eyes. “This is me making sure you are ready for what I am gonna do to you next.” 

“What are you going to do to me?” You ask breathlessly.

“Whatever you wanna do, baby, and I feel like you want to get fucked hard.” He stops for a second to read your expression. “Am I wrong?” 

His question catches you off guard. He is talking so openly and directly, you feel a little shy. You are not used to voice your needs this openly, yet that’s one the biggest problems you had in the past. Partners not communicating open enough and assuming things. He’s doing what you actually need to do. He’s communicating openly and it’s extremely hot.

You nod first. Then you find your voice again. “Yes. I do want that.” He smiles again. That damned smile makes you even wetter. “But how do you know that?”

“The way you kiss me, push your hips up while I play with you and your hungry look. You look like you wanna eat me up.”

You surpass shyness with a breath. “Yes, I want that too.” 

“Next time. It’s my turn now.” He winks at you and goes back to fingering. 

He starts with one finger. Soon second and third follow and you are back on the clouds. You can’t even recognize your own voice, moaning his name. The pleasure takes over you, your back aches and you come hard on his fingers. It’s your second orgasm yet you still crave for more. You crave his warmth, his passion and the pleasure his cock can give you. You find it strange feeling this hungry after two orgasms but you welcome it anyway. 

He moves up, directly kisses you without drying his mouth. His lips are hungry and demanding. His erection is hanging between you two and you can feel how hard he is. 

“Can you taste yourself on my lips?” He asks shamelessly after breaking the kiss. 

“Yes.”

“How does it feel?”

You say the first things that come to your mind with no filter. “Dirty and hot.” 

“Hmm… Good.” He keeps kissing you, his fingers are still in your pussy, slowly moving his fingers between your folds and feeling your wetness all over again. It feels like he enjoys how wet you are for him. Not just enjoying but relishing.

“This is teasing.” You state between his kisses.

“Is it?” His fingers stop like he didn’t know that already. “I just love how responsive you are.”

“And I wanna feel your cock inside me already.” 

Your bluntness doesn’t only surprise him, but you as well. You have no idea when you finally let go of your shyness. Maybe between the first and the second orgasm. You don’t care anymore. You really need him inside you.

“How do you want it, baby?”

“Let me show you.” You move away from him and miss his warmth instantly, but it’s for a good cause. You turn around and position yourself on your hands and knees. He understands what you want instantly.

“Hmm… You really want it hard.” He sounds amused. His fingers go back to your folds, moving up and down. “Just making sure you are ready.”

“I am dripping already, Bucky. How much more ready can I get?” 

You hear him laugh, but before you can say anything about it, you feel his cock right on your entrance. 

“Tell me if it hurts.” He says before pushing inside. 

His cock stretches you out so deliciously. There’s absolutely no pain at all. The preparation is paying off amazingly. The only thing you are feeling is the fullness you have been craving for so long, but you need more.

“Please move, baby.” 

It's the first time you use a pet name and you do it without thinking about it  but the way you say it affects him deeply. He tries to surpass the loud moan which was about to slip and you notice his struggle.

“Don’t hide your moans from me. I wanna hear them.” 

You imagined this moment for a long time. You spent hours imagining how he would talk, moan and come. You are so close to getting what you want and you have no intention to give up on it. Not even shyness can stop you from getting what you want.

“Then let’s make a deal.” He says, sounding breathless inside you. “None of us will try to hide their reactions. It’s only fair.”

“Deal.” You say eagerly and he chuckles. Then without saying anything else he starts to move inside you. 

First, it’s slow. Not painfully slow but still not as hard as you want. Yet you don’t say anything because you know this isn’t only for you. He’s trying to get used to feeling you around his cock. It seems overwhelming especially when he stops hiding his reaction. Low moans and curses spill from his lips. You say nothing, just enjoy the moment.

“Fuck.” This time he’s speaking louder than before. “You feel amazing around my cock, darling. So… so amazing.”

Your only reaction is moaning. The praise goes straight to your pussy. You wanna slam yourself against his cock and force him to move faster. 

“So eager for me. If I knew you wanted me this bad, we wouldn’t have to wait this long to fuck each other.” 

“It’s not like you made it obvious that you want me either.” 

“Forgive me for not thinking so highly of myself.”

The weight of his words crushes you. 

“Look at me.” You say turning your head back and find him looking directly at you. “You are all I ever wanted.” His expression changes. A wave of emotions waves over him. You feel he’s on the verge of getting emotional. “Now fuck me hard so we can finally experience what this feels like.” He smiles, but you can still see the emotions behind his eyes.

“Your wish is my command, baby.” 

From this moment, he is relentless. It’s fast and hard. The room is filled with the noise of skin slamming against skin, your wetness on his cock and your joint moans. It feels good. So fucking good that it doesn’t feel real. You can feel the pleasure bottling up. He’s moving back and forth with long strokes. His cock never leaves you. He pulls himself back until only the tip remains inside you and slams back in. The moans that leave your lips aren't human anymore. You feel desperate to reach that high again. 

“Please.” You beg suddenly. “Please… I’m so… close.”

“Harder or faster?” His voice is hoarse, showing you how close he is to losing control. 

“Faster.” You manage to say between moans. It’s so hard to even say one word out loud.

“I’m gonna come too.” And right then he notices that he didn’t put on a condom. “Fuck.” He sounds so disappointed.

“What?”

“We forgot the condom.” He slows down. 

“Keep going. I’m on birth control.” 

“Thank god!” You can’t help but smile before he picks up the pace again. In a second, both of you are a moaning mess. You come hard, so hard that you feel your muscles cramping with the force of it. Your whole body is electrified, you can feel it even on your toes. The noises you make push him over the edge. He starts to move faster and when you think your high is about to end, a new level opens up. Your mind stops working while your body turns jelly under him. 

He isn’t any different than you. His loud moans, and his desperate pace show how much he is enjoying it, but you are too lost in your own pleasure to notice. 

When you both drop your bodies on the couch, neither of you find the words. 

“Wow.” That's all you can say.

“Wow indeed.”

You turn your face and look at him. He seems completely blissed out.

“We should’ve done this waaay before.” You smile hearing his words. 

“You could’ve made a move, but you were too busy pitying yourself.” 

The words come out without you considering what you are saying and it doesn’t take long for you to regret them. It isn’t the time or place to talk about this. 

“I wanted to ruin our friendship for a long time, doll, but I was afraid. I was scared that I would ruin it for real and you wouldn’t wanna see me again. I was just fine being your good friend. It was a better alternative than losing you completely.”

You know what he means too well. That’s how you felt since the moment you met Bucky. He is such an amazing person, you didn’t want to lose him. Even if it means you have to witness him being happy with other people.

“That’s how I felt too, but look at you. Who can say no to you?” 

His smile is bitter. You sense he doesn’t believe you even without him opening his mouth.

“Come on. That is the afterglow speaking.”

You move your head up and get support from your left hand. 

“Look at me, Bucky.” He does and you see that he really doesn’t believe you. “You are gorgeous. Inside and out.”

“I know I am not what I used to be.”

“And that’s fine.” You quickly add. “You might not be Men’s Health cover material anymore, but guess what? It’s less healthy trying to keep that shape. Don’t let the name fool you. You don’t need six packs and huge biceps to look attractive. You need to be healthy so I can keep fucking you.”

Your last sentence makes him smile sincerely.

“You really believe that?”

“I do and honestly I have never been a six pack girl. You are even more attractive like this to me. A bit older and experienced. Just my type.”

“Hmm…” He says before kissing you deeply. You lose yourself in that kiss. So when he breaks it and asks you out, you are caught off guard.

“Huh?”

“I said: does it mean you will let me take you on a date?” 

A date? With Bucky Barnes? 

“Oh, yes. Anything you want.”