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03jyh23 · 24 days

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— i'm not afraid anymore || choi jongho (the fear still lingers part 2)

ex-boyfriend!idol!jongho x ex-girlfriend!single-mom!reader

synopsis: reuniting after years of being apart, you reveal to Jongho that he is the father of your four-year-old daughter

genre: angst, a slice of life, a bit of fluff

trigger warnings: unplanned pregnancy, single parenthood, financial problems mentioned, emotional conflict, intense discussions about parenthood and relationships

words: 12.8 k

reminder: what you're about to read is purely fiction, so let's keep it separate from reality.

!minors do not interact!

— hi there! so it's finally out 😭😭😭 i kept you waiting long enough, didn't i? so, i once again wrote about parenthood... i'm sure some of you expected this story to go in a whole other direction, but i still hope this is a nice surprise! i wanted to dedicate this one to @jjongbearshoney, who's been waiting for it since the first part was posted. i know it's long and i've tried to make this part shorter, but i couldn't force myself to delete any of it. i'm hopeful some of you will still choose to read this.

love, monika. ♡

if you enjoyed this post, i'd be so grateful for a little love – a like, reblog or comment would truly make my day!

you

"Mommy?" Your daughter tightened her grip on your hand as you walked home from preschool. You hummed in response, looking down at her. "Why is it just you and me?" she asked, furrowing her brow.

"What do you mean, Nari?" your daughter paused; her big eyes filled with fear. "You know you can tell Mommy everything," you added when she hesitated.

"Why don't I have a dad like my friends?" she finally asked. Your heart dropped. You knew this day would come when Nari would start comparing her family to others, but you were unprepared for the moment. You had never discussed Jongho with Nari; the last thing you wanted was for her to hate him for his absence. She had never asked before, so you had hoped that the time would never come when she would become curious about her dad. But as she grew older and started to understand the world around her, you knew that this question was inevitable.

What you did instead of talking about Jongho, you introduced Nari to ATEEZ. Since she was little, you would play their songs, and she grew up dancing in your arms to them. You two would spend time together, sitting in front of the television and watching their shows. With every episode, every song, and every interview, her admiration for the band continued to grow. It was a shared experience, one that brought you both closer together, and her love for the band grew right along with her. What made everything better was that Nari's favorite member of ATEEZ was Wooyoung. You couldn't help but think about how disappointed Jongho would be if he ever found out. His own daughter had chosen another member as her favorite. It was a thought that often brought a smile to your face.

You never once resented Jongho for choosing his music career over you. You understood that he was born to be on stage, to pour his soul into his music. Your heart was shattered when you two parted ways, but then you discovered you were pregnant with Nari. You knew then that you had to be strong and that you had to be the best mom possible for her. It was challenging, especially when she was born and bore such a striking resemblance to Jongho. It played with your emotions sometimes.

You knelt to meet her gaze. Her round face, sweet cheeks, and hazel-brown eyes each time reminded you of the man you once loved.

"Nari, your daddy is really busy," you began, unsure of how to continue the conversation. "But Mommy is sure he loves you very much," you reassured as you smoothed her hair, attempting to smile. "I know your friends' daddies are around." You tried to keep your voice steady, swallowing the lump in your throat. "Just because he's not here, doesn't mean he doesn't love you," you told her, seeking to comfort both her and you.

With a certain sadness in her eyes, she expressed her wishes, "I'd really like it if he wasn’t so busy all the time," she complained. As she pouted, a wave of empathy washed over you, causing your heart to break for her.

"I know, baby," you whispered, your voice barely audible as you fought to control the emotion threatening to overwhelm you. "Do you want me to tell you more about your daddy?" you asked softly, ready to share the stories of you two. Nari nodded, and a smile finally appeared on her pretty face. ‘’Alright so we will buy you your favorite ice cream and you can ask whatever you want, how does this sound?’’ Without uttering a word, Nari gently nodded and stretched out her hand towards you. Accepting her silent invitation, you felt the warmth of her delicate fingers in yours. As you walked hand in hand, you could see the excitement in her eyes as she pulled you in the direction of her most adored destination - her favorite local ice cream store.

Entering the store, you ordered the ice cream and chose a seat next to the window. A sense of nervousness washed over you at the thought of speaking so openly about Jongho after all those years. But you knew deep down, it was time to face it. You took a deep breath, staring out the window as you waited for your order. The streets were busy with people going about their day. The ice cream arrived, a sweet distraction, but it did nothing to quell the anxiety churning in your stomach. You picked up your spoon and took the first bite, letting the familiar taste flood your senses.

"Tell Mommy, what do you want to know?" you finally asked, breaking the silence that had fallen over the small store. You held your breath, waiting for her reply, bracing yourself for the questions that were bound to come from your curious four-year-old. Nari thought for a moment, her small brow furrowing in concentration.

"Everything," she finally said, her voice soft, eyes sparkling with curiosity. "I want to know everything." You chuckled at her response; it was moments like these that made motherhood such an incredible journey. You took her small hand in yours,

"I met your dad at a coffee shop," you started, your voice filled with nostalgia."It was a warm summer afternoon, just like today. He walked in, and when I saw him, it was as if time had stopped for that moment."

Nari was thoroughly enjoying her lemon ice cream as she continued to savor her treat, she curiously glanced over at you. She wondered if her dad also shared her love for this dessert. With a playful smile still smeared on her ice cream-covered lips, she asked, "Did he order ice cream?"

You giggled at her question, "No, I think he ordered an iced americano." You remember the day as if it was yesterday. Jongho had ordered and chose to sit at the furthest table possible. You were sitting close to the cash desk, stealing glances at him sometimes, admiring him. He was writing something in a big notebook, so engrossed that he didn't hear the barista calling him to pick up his order. So, you decided to test your luck and brought his coffee to him. As you approached him, your heart pounded in your chest. It was as though you could hear it echoing throughout the quiet café. You set the coffee down gently on his table, not wanting to disturb his concentration. Startled, he looked up and locked eyes with you. His eyes were warm and inviting, a soft 'thank you' escaping his lips. You returned the sentiment with a shy smile, not trusting yourself to say anything.

"Why would he order coffee when he could have an ice cream?" Nari asked, finding it strange that someone would choose coffee over ice cream.

"Your dad is a little bit different, Nari," you said, smiling gently. "He really loved his coffee. He said it helped him think and focus. But don't worry, he loved ice cream too. Just like you, he had a sweet tooth."

"Will Daddy buy me ice cream next time?" she asked as she was finishing her dessert.

"I'm sure he would love to," you replied, smiling at her. "One day, if he's not too busy, I'm sure he'll take you to get ice cream. Would you like that?" Nari nodded eagerly, her eyes lighting up at the prospect. Just the thought of spending a day with her dad made her heart flutter with joy. You knew what needed to happen next. You had to create an opportunity for her to meet Jongho. Even though it might hurt, Nari should meet her dad at least once. Her happiness was most important. You knew you needed to put your own feelings aside for her. This next step might be hard and painful, but as her mom, you knew it was what you should do.

"Then Mommy will make sure Daddy will take you next time," you promised, your heart aching at the hopeful look in her eyes. You would do whatever it took to give her the happiness she deserved.

On your way back home, you felt a sense of relief wash over you. This heartfelt conversation with Nari had helped clear your mind. Finally talking about the man, you loved brought you a strange sense of nostalgia, yet you also felt content. After all these years, you have finally been able to share your story, your feelings, and your past with your daughter. It was as if a burden you didn’t even know you were carrying had been lifted from your shoulders. The walk home was peaceful, the cool evening breeze brushing against your face as the last rays of the setting sun painted the sky in hues of pink and orange.

In no time, you reached your apartment complex. Nari was running around the playground with the neighbor's puppy chasing after her. She was the sweetest creature. She was fascinated by the world, loved animals, and her soul was just so pure. You felt an immense amount of happiness to be her mom.

"Grandma!" Nari exclaimed, her face lighting up with sheer joy the moment she spied her grandma approaching from a distance. Upon arrival, your mother warmly greeted Nari with a tender embrace. After a moment, they both made their way over to where you were standing. You were taken aback, surprised to see your mother in your presence without any prior notice.

With a puzzled expression, you turned towards her and asked, "Mom, why didn't you tell me you were coming?"

"I wanted to see you and Nari," your mother admitted, her voice warm. You could see the sincerity in her eyes. You could feel the lump forming in your throat as you listened to her. It was a comforting reassurance, knowing you weren't alone in this. "And I hoped I would be welcomed for dinner," she said with a playful tone in her voice while gently placing Nari on the ground. A glint of laughter shone in her eyes.

"Absolutely," you responded, your smile wide and welcoming. The sincerity in your voice was enough to assure her that the invitation was genuine. You reached down and took one of Nari's small hands in yours, feeling the softness of her tiny fingers against your palm. Your mom mirrored your action, reaching for Nari's other hand, her fingers wrapping around the little one's hand with a natural gentleness. For a moment, the three of you stood there, a small, connected chain, silent and content in each other's company. Then, with Nari's laughter filling the air around you, you all began to move, making your way to your small apartment. The moment was simple, yet filled with a warmth that spoke of familiarity, of home.

You finally reached your floor and stepped into the comforting familiarity of your apartment. As the door closed behind you, a wave of relief washed over you. This was your sanctuary, your escape from the hustle and bustle of the outside world. Your apartment was small, with one room occupied by Nari, and a combined living room and kitchen where you also slept. The bathroom was big enough to fit a bathtub and a washing machine. It was far from perfect, but nobody truly knows how hard it is to be a single mom, barely making ends meet, especially when you were still so young. Sometimes, you felt ashamed of the way you lived your life, as you wanted Nari to grow up in a better place, a home with a beautiful garden and a seesaw. But you could barely afford this apartment, buying a new house was never an option. So, you took a lot of care to ensure that your apartment was always neat and clean. Every item had its own place, and there was a sense of order and tranquility that pervaded the space.

You found Nari, tired yet excited from the day's activities, eagerly awaiting your attention. With gentle hands and a warm smile, you took her to her room and helped her change into more comfortable clothes. Nari’s room was everything she had ever dreamed of. It was her own little wonderland that mirrored her innocent dreams and youthful enthusiasm. All her favorite toys were thoughtfully displayed around the room, adding to its charm and making it a truly magical place for her. The toys ranged from dolls to action figures, to stuffed animals, each one with its own special place in Nari’s heart. The most striking feature of the room was her small bed, adorned with a beautiful canopy. This bed was more than just a place for her to rest; it was her castle, her secret hideout. It was here that Nari would sleep like a real princess, after a day full of adventures and playful activities. Guarding her while she slept were her loyal teddy bears. These soft and cuddly guardians were always there by her side, watching over her. They were not just toys, but her friends, and protectors. Nari even made you print out a picture of Wooyoung, which she lovingly framed and placed on her tiny desk. It became her most prized possession. Every detail in the room reflected Nari’s personality and vivid imagination, making it a perfect haven for her.

As Nari settled down, you decided to play her favorite Disney movie. The familiar tunes filled the room, and Nari's eyes lit up at the sight of her beloved characters. While Nari was engrossed in her movie, you made your way to the kitchen. Your mom has already started preparing your meal. The sight of her working her magic in the kitchen, coupled with the tantalizing smells, made your stomach rumble in anticipation.

"So, Nari asked about her dad today," you started, your voice barely above a whisper. As the words left your mouth, your mother froze in her place. Her eyes met yours, a mix of surprise and concern in her gaze. The room fell silent, the only sound being the sizzle from the pan on the stove. "Mom, I feel lost. I don't know what to do," you confessed, your voice trembling with uncertainty.

"Do you want them to meet, honey?" your mom asked. Her gaze was steady, her eyes never leaving yours. She was searching for an answer, not just in your words, but also in your expression. There was a hint of concern in her voice which was understandable. After all, it was a significant moment, a decision that could change the dynamics of everything. You hesitated for a moment, weighing the possibilities in your mind. You could feel your mom's expectant gaze on you, and it somehow made the decision harder.

After what felt like an eternity, you finally spoke. "Yes, mom. I want them to meet." Your voice was firm, but inside, you were bracing yourself for the changes that were about to come. Your worlds were about to collide, your secrets were about to unravel, and you could only hope that in the end, everything would fall into place. "But I don't want him to know that Nari is his," you admitted shyly. There was a moment of silence as you pondered over your words.

"Honey, I know you might be scared, but I believe it's high time he found out the truth," she said, her voice softer now, yet resolute and unwavering. She cast a glance down at her hands, her fingers intertwined, and when she looked up at you again, there was a raw determination in her eyes that you hadn't seen before. "He needs to know that he has a daughter. That he's a father. It's not just about you anymore, it's also about Nari. She will be 4 soon and deserves to know her father. It's time for you to step up and let him in on the reality of his situation."

"I'm not going to tell him, Mom," you replied firmly, your resolve clear in your tone. "I wouldn't risk Jongho's career like that," you said, speaking more to yourself than your mother. "I was prepared to spend a lifetime without him knowing the truth." Despite the fear and uncertainty, a sense of resolve washed over you. Your mom sighed heavily; you know it wasn’t the response she wanted to hear.

"Even if you somehow end up meeting him, do you think he's stupid?" she asked abruptly. Her question was unexpected, and it caught you off guard.

"What do you mean?" you responded, taken aback by the sudden change in her tone and line of questioning.

"One look at Nari, and he's going to know the truth!" she exclaimed, her voice filled with conviction. "Nari looks exactly like him!" your mom slightly raised her voice. "I have never seen Jongho with my own eyes, but even if my judgment is based only on how he looks on TV… Honey, her eyes, her smile... they are all his," she continued, the room fell silent, you were lost in your own thoughts. You knew that the resemblance was not just physical, Nari had also inherited his mannerisms and charisma.

"I... I hadn't thought of that," you admitted, feeling a sudden knot tighten in your stomach. The realization that Jongho could easily figure out the truth was alarming. "I'll figure something out, Mom. I promise." You said, trying to reassure her despite the sinking feeling in your chest.

"If you don't have his phone number, maybe you should contact his company?" your mother suggested, her voice filled with concern. You stared at her, aghast at her suggestion.

"Mom, are you crazy? That's the last thing I'd want to do," you retorted, shaking your head at the absurdity of the idea.

Your mother's eyebrows rose in surprise at your response. "Well, I was just trying to help," she said, a hint of hurt in her voice.

You sighed, regretting your harsh words. "I know, Mom. I'm sorry. It's just... complicated," you admitted, rubbing your temples. The last thing you wanted was to involve his company in this matter.

"Let's just try to find another way, okay?" you suggested, hoping to steer the conversation toward a more productive direction. You focused on the task at hand, the act of cooking providing a much-needed distraction from the whirlpool of thoughts threatening to consume you. Each chop and stir was mechanical, your mind elsewhere. You were desperate to find a way to let Nari meet Jongho but figuring out how to do that without jeopardizing his career or causing a scandal was proving to be more difficult than you had initially anticipated.

After dinner, you helped Nari with her bedtime routine. Meanwhile, your mom was busy cleaning up after dinner. While assisting Nari, you could hear running water from the kitchen and clinking dishes being put away. With Nari finally tucked in, you joined your mom in the kitchen to lend a hand. The teamwork made the task lighter, and the kitchen was soon spotless.

"Take her to his concert, you could buy a VIP ticket so you two could meet him." your mom suddenly broke the silence between you two. You looked up at her in surprise. A concert? The idea was so far-fetched that you couldn't help but laugh. But as you glanced at your mother, you realized she was serious. "Think about it. She gets to see her dad and you don’t have to say anything," she suggested, the idea not sounding as ridiculous now. It might work. And then, you could see how he reacts to Nari. If he shows any sign of recognition, you could consider telling him the truth. Yes, it might just work."Besides, we know how much she loves her 'Uncle' Wooyoung, and I'm sure she would be so happy to go and see him live," your mom added.

"That idea isn't bad, Mom, but do you know how expensive the tickets are? There's no way I can afford two," you replied, worry evident in your voice. Concert tickets, especially for a band as popular as ATEEZ, could be incredibly pricey. You were doing your best to provide for Nari, but luxuries like concert tickets were simply out of your reach.

"What if I will get you the tickets?" your mom asked. You stared at her, shocked by her proposition. Your mom rarely splurged on anything, always preferring to save for a rainy day. Seeing your surprise, she laughed. "I know it seems out of character for me, but I want to do this for you and Nari. I want her to have this experience, and maybe it will lead to something more." She gave you a hopeful smile, her eyes filled with love and determination.

"Mom, I can't ask you for so much…" you protested, feeling a pang of guilt at the thought of your mother paying for the tickets. "It's too much." But your mom was already shaking her head, cutting off your protest.

"This isn't about money, it's about Nari," she said firmly. "And if this gives her a chance to meet her father, then it's worth every penny." You could see the determination in her eyes, and you knew there was no point in arguing. She had made up her mind, and when she did, there was no changing it.

"Okay," you finally agreed, knowing that this was the best chance Nari had to meet Jongho. "Thank you, Mom." She simply nodded, her eyes filled with a mix of relief and satisfaction. You realized then that despite everything, your mom was still looking out for you. She was still willing to do anything to make sure you and Nari were happy. Your heart pounded in your chest as you took your phone in your hands, searching for ATEEZ events. You scrolled through the results, your eyes skimming the details. Suddenly, one specific event caught your attention. It was a free event, happening in just two days. You gasped, your eyes widening in surprise. A free event?

"Mom? I think we hit a jackpot," you smiled, as you showed your mom your phone.

"A free event?" she exclaimed, happily clapping her hands. You were taken aback by her reaction but couldn't help but share in her excitement. You hugged her tightly, her happiness radiating onto you. You picked up your phone once again, and quickly booked the free tickets. With a deep sigh, you turned to your mother, gently taking her hands in yours.

"I'm going to see him, Mom," you whispered softly. The words hung heavy in the air, a mix of fear, anticipation, and longing. It was as if all the pent-up emotions you had been holding back came flooding out at that moment. Tears finally began to stream down your face, unabashed and unhindered. They traced wet tracks on your cheeks, a poignant testament to the heartfelt emotions you were experiencing. It was a cathartic release that revealed your true feelings. Your heart ached with a desperate longing, a yearning that had been simmering underneath the surface all this time. The lump in your throat eased, replaced with a strange sense of tranquility. All the nervousness, the apprehension that had been your constant companion, seemed to have evaporated. It was as if acknowledging your feelings had liberated you from their hold, allowing you to finally breathe. The realization hit you then, sudden and profound. You were going to see Jongho, the man you had loved with all your heart, once more. The thought brought a twinge of excitement, a dash of fear, and a whole lot of love. It was a second chance, a final goodbye, a moment you knew you would remember for the rest of your life.

Two days have passed like two hours. It felt like you had just blinked and suddenly, you were standing with Nari, hand in hand, in a line buzzing with anticipation. You were nervous, your heart pounding in your chest. Nari, on the other hand, was brimming with excitement. She was bubbling with joy at the prospect of seeing her 'Uncle' Wooyoung, blissfully unaware of the real reason you were both there. The line moved forward gradually and with each step, your heart pounded harder. You glanced at Nari, who was chatting away excitedly about all the fun things she'd do with Wooyoung. Her innocence and cheerfulness were infectious, easing your nerves slightly. As you got closer to the front of the line, you could see ATEEZ up ahead, their warm smiles greeting each fan.

And then you saw Jongho, being the second to last, signing an album and holding a fan's hand while he did so. His focus was entirely on the task at hand, his brows slightly furrowed in concentration. He would occasionally look up to make eye contact with the fan, offering them a warm smile. It was as though your world had stopped. Your breath caught in your throat, your heart pounding as if it were trying to escape from your chest. It had been almost five years since you last saw him. He had changed - his face was more mature, his eyes held a deeper wisdom, and the lines of his smile seemed to tell stories you weren't a part of. Yet, amidst all the changes, he was still the same Jongho you remembered, the same Jongho you had fallen for. The distance and the years that had passed had not made your heart forget. The sight of him brought back a flood of memories, some sweet, some bitter, but all precious. Standing there, seeing him after all this time, you realized – you were not afraid anymore. You were ready to face him, ready to face the past.

When it was finally your turn, you gently nudged Nari forward. Her face lit up when she saw Wooyoung. She quickly seated herself in a chair across from the table where he was sitting. Then, she stood on the chair, stepped onto the table, and her hands swiftly found their way around Wooyoung's neck. Wooyoung was startled at first, taken aback by Nari's sudden, enthusiastic hug. You were shocked too, having no time to react to Nari's swift actions. But your breath hitched when Wooyoung recovered from his initial surprise and smiled, hugging Nari back. The atmosphere quickly filled with warmth as Wooyoung returned Nari's hug with equal affection. The surprise on his face was replaced by a soft smile, his arms wrapping around her in a comforting embrace. You watched this heartfelt moment unfold, your heart fluttering in your chest. The shock from earlier had completely dissipated, replaced by a sense of relief and happiness. It was clear to you that despite the abruptness of Nari's actions, Wooyoung was happy to hug her back.

"Hi there, little one," he greeted with a warm smile on his face.

"Uncle Wooyoung!" Nari responded kindly, her laughter tinkling in the air as she beamed back at him. The sight was enough to melt your heart. However, your moment of joy was short-lived as you noticed the stern look from the security guard. His gaze was fixed on your daughter, clearly annoyed with her actions. Although you understood his perspective, it was hard to stop a child from being excited in such moments. You quickly intervened, trying to maintain the peace. You gently took Nari from Wooyoung's warm embrace and brought her back to her chair. She pouted a little, clearly not happy about being moved away from her favorite person.

"I'm sorry," you apologized, turning to face Wooyoung. Wooyoung simply shook his head and laughed, clearly not bothered by what had just happened.

"It's okay," he said, his voice filled with understanding. You handed him the album that you had brought along, as he took it from your hands to sign it, Nari put her small hand on top of Wooyoung’s.

"My name is Nari," she said, a soft yet firm assertion that hung in the air between them. Her gaze was unwavering, locked onto his face as if searching for something within him, something perhaps only she could see. After signing the album, Wooyoung handed it back to you.

"It was nice to meet you, Nari," he said, a genuine smile as he gently patted Nari's hair.

"Nari, it's time to go," you softly announced, lifting the small girl into your arms, there were still other members of the band you had yet to meet. Nari, however, was not so ready to move on. She pouted adorably; her full attention still fixed on Wooyoung.

"I love you, Uncle Wooyoung," she declared, her innocent eyes wide and shimmering with admiration. Every word she spoke was filled with the pure, unfiltered affection that only a child could muster. Wooyoung, for his part, responded with an equal measure of warmth. His eyes softened at her words, a tender smile playing at the corners of his lips. He cooed at her cuteness; his heart clearly touched by her innocent proclamation.

"I love you too, Nari," he replied, his voice filled with genuine affection. He waved back at her, his smile never faltering even as the next fan made their approach. As you moved away, you felt a sense of anticipation bubbling up within you. You were ready to introduce Nari to the rest of the band, ready to create more beautiful memories. Nari was thrilled to meet the other band members. Perhaps not as much as she was when she met Wooyoung, but she still charmed each and every one of them with her delightful spirit. Seonghwa, Mingi, Yunho, Yeosang, and San were all absolutely enchanted by their little fan, their hearts melting at the sight of her infectious joy.

Then, it was time to face Jongho. As you approached him, your heartbeat echoed loudly in your ears. A lump formed in your throat, making it difficult to breathe. The world seemed to come to a standstill as you stood before him. His familiar eyes met yours, and in that moment, everything else faded into insignificance.

"Hi…" The word was barely more than an apprehensive whisper, escaping from Jonhgo's lips. His gaze was fixed on you, a whirlpool of emotions swirling within his eyes. It had been almost five years since he had last seen you. Yet, as he looked at you now, it was as if time had stood still. You were still as beautiful, if not more, as the last time he saw you. Your enchanting smile and the mesmerizing glint in your eyes had the power to make his heart stutter within his chest.

"I'm sorry to be showing up like this," you said, your voice carrying the weight of your uncertainty. You had rehearsed this moment countless times in your head, and yet now, standing in front of him, the words seemed to escape you. You sat down on the chair, passing him the album.

"It’s fine… it’s so good to see you," Jongho responded, each word punctuated with sincerity. At that moment, he felt as if the world around him had melted away. All that mattered was you. His eyes were lost in yours, completely oblivious to the world around him. It was as if an invisible thread was pulling him towards you, making him oblivious to everything else.

"I just…" you started, the words hanging in the air. But before you could give them shape, a small voice chimed in.

‘’Hi Uncle Jongho! You are my Mommy's favourite’’ Nari greeted him with a wide grin spreading across her face, she cautiously yet excitedly maneuvered herself into your lap. Her eyes sparkled with uncontained joy as she looked up, her gaze meeting Jongho's, who was across the table, her smile growing even wider, if that was possible, at the sight of him.

"Hi, little one! Well, your mom has great taste!" Jongho responded, his words laced with surprise. He hadn't expected this.

"I really like your songs," the little girl confessed with an earnest expression. "Mommy told me that you're a good person and that we could be friends." The words hit Jongho like a punch in the gut. The realization that you had a daughter began to dawn on him. He quickly glanced at your fingers, searching for a wedding ring, but found none. Jongho's heart sank as a lump formed in his throat, his mind racing to piece together the puzzle before him. You weren't married, nor engaged, and the little girl nestled on your lap couldn't have been more than four years old. It didn't take long for him to make the connection— you must have been pregnant five years ago, and five years ago you were his.

"I’m sure we will be great friends," Jongho replied, trying to keep his voice steady. His gaze never left yours, even as he addressed Nari. Jongho's eyes slowly drifted away from yours, lingering for a moment before he turned to look at Nari. He took his time, observing her closely. There was something about her that caught his attention. He couldn't help but see the resemblance - something in the way her eyes sparkled, the curve of her smile. As you were sitting with Nari in your lap, you couldn't help but notice Jongho's gaze fixed on her. His eyes were filled with adoration and curiosity, something that you found endearing. Gently, you shifted Nari off your lap. You took her small hand in yours,

"Nari," you started, your voice as soft as a whisper, careful not to disrupt the lively chatter around you. Her big, innocent eyes looked up at you, her attention completely focused on you. "Would you wait for me next to the last uncle's table?" you asked her. Your tone was gentle, Nari simply nodded, her trust in you evident. She didn't ask why, didn't protest, she trotted off, her steps small and careful. Jongho's gaze was still on her, his eyes filled with the same adoration as before. The sight warmed your heart, solidifying the beautiful moment in your memory.

"Is she mine?" The question was out in the open before he could stop himself. Jongho’s heart was pounding against his ribcage, and his hands were trembling, but he couldn't ignore the uncanny resemblance.

"Jongho I…" you started but were quickly interrupted by Jongho's direct question.

"She's mine, isn't she?" you feel your cheeks flush as you investigate Jongho's eyes, unsure of how to respond. Your heart beats faster as you gather the courage to answer him.

"She's yours, Jongho," you finally admitted, the truth coming out in a whisper. All the color drained from his face at your words. He was a father. He had a daughter. His mind was reeling, struggling to process the enormity of what he had just learned. "I found out a month after we broke up" you confessed, your words barely a whisper. The weight of your words was almost too much to bear, and you found it impossible to meet his intense gaze.

"Y/N, you know I can’t..." Jongho began, his voice was heavy with unspoken emotions. His hand, almost as if guided by an unseen force, reached out for you in a gesture of comfort and longing.

"I just wanted her... our little girl, to see her dad, to meet you, at least once in her lifetime," you admitted, your voice shaking with the effort of holding back the torrent of tears threatening to spill. "I don’t expect anything in return." Jongho simply stared at you in silence, his expression unreadable. His gaze was intense, almost as if he was trying to read your thoughts.

"I'll need some time to process this," he finally said, his voice barely above a whisper. The silence that followed was deafening, the tension in the air palpable. But for the first time in years, you felt a sense of relief wash over you. The truth was finally out, and despite the complexity of the situation, you felt a strange sense of peace.

"I understand, Jongho, I don't expect anything form you," you replied, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze. You knew this was a lot for him to take in. It wasn't easy for you either, but you were glad that he now knew about Nari.

"Hey Nari!" You heard Jongho's voice asking for your daughter's attention. "Wouldn't you give me a hug?" Nari, who had been watching the exchange from a distance, hesitated for a moment before making her way towards Jongho. His smile widened as he crouched down to her level, opening his arms wide for her. Nari ran into his embrace, wrapping her small arms around his neck. Jongho held her close, his heart swelling with an indescribable emotion. As the security guard began to usher you away, a pang of regret washed over Jongho. Seeing you hustled away, Jongho felt a surge of urgency. He yearned to reach out, to clasp your hand and never release it, but time was eluding him.

"Wait!" Jongho's desperate voice echoed as he stepped forward, stretching a hand towards you. But it was too late, you were already moved to Hongjoong’s table. Jongho slumped back into his seat, engulfed by defeat. He had let you slip through his grasp again, and now he was worried that he might never rectify his mistake. As he sat, absorbed in his thoughts, the image of Nari's innocent face haunted him. She resembled him so much with her broad eyes and radiant smile, yet she was a stranger—a reminder of the life he missed and the family he never knew he had. Engrossed in his thoughts, Jongho barely registered the next fan asking for an autograph. His thoughts were occupied by you and the daughter he never knew existed. As he autographed the fan's album, Jongho wondered if there was still hope for you and him, if perhaps fate might reunite them one day.

As you approached Hongjoong's table with Nar, your heart raced with a mix of apprehension and resentment. You couldn't shake the memories of your last encounter, the painful words he had spoken, and the role he had played in driving you and Jongho apart. Hongjoong looked up from signing autographs, his expression unreadable as he locked eyes with you. There was a flicker of recognition in his gaze, followed by a hint of guilt that he quickly masked with a polite smile.

"Hello," Hongjoong greeted you, his voice carefully neutral. "It's been a while." you forced a tight smile, your hands trembling slightly as you returned his greeting.

"Yes, it has," you replied, her voice strained with tension. There was a palpable awkwardness between you two, as Hongjoong catches sight of Nari standing beside you, his eyes widen in surprise. There's an unmistakable resemblance between Nari and Jongho—the same sparkling eyes, the same dimpled smile—that sends a pang of nostalgia coursing through Hongjoong's heart. Nari beams up at Hongjoong, her innocence and warmth melting away any lingering tension in the air.

"Hi Uncle Hongjoong!" she chirps, reaching out to shake Hongjoong's hand with childlike enthusiasm. As Hongjoong exchanges a few more pleasantries with Nari, you can't shake the feeling of unease that gnaws at the back of your mind. With a quick 'thank you' to Hongjoong, you took Nari in your arms and quickly made your way towards the exit. You didn't dare to look back, your heart pounding in your chest. As you walked away, you couldn't help but wonder if Hongjoong had made the connection. But it didn't matter anymore. You had done what you had come here to do. Nari had finally met her dad, and Jongho now knew about her existence. What would happen next was out of your hands.

As you exited the venue, you could feel a sense of relief washing over you. The heavy burden that had been weighing on your heart for years was now lifted. You glanced at Nari, her face filled with joy and excitement, her eyes sparkling with pure innocence. You couldn't help but feel a sense of love and pride. Despite everything, you knew in your heart that you had made the right decision.

jongho

After what felt like an eternity, the fan meeting ended. Jongho's mind still reeling from the shock. He found himself rushing backstage into the tranquility of the dressing room that he shared with Hongjoong. He withdrew to a corner, away from the others, needing to be alone with his tumultuous thoughts. Images of Nari's face swirled in his mind, her innocent smile seared into his memory. He wrestled with a whirlwind of questions, his brain struggling to process the reality of his newfound fatherhood.

"Why didn't you try to contact me?" He asked the empty room, his voice barely a whisper. The question echoed off the walls, a haunting reminder of the years he had missed. "Didn't I have a right to know sooner?" His voice broke as he voiced the question, the hurt evident in his tone. He was a father, but he had been oblivious to that fact for years. The knowledge filled him with a potent mix of joy and anguish. Joy at the thought of being a father, and anguish at the years he had missed, the moments he would never get back. The room felt suffocating, the silence deafening as the reality of the situation slowly sank in. He missed out on so much. He missed seeing you pregnant, a sight he was sure would have been beautiful. He missed being there for you when you were feeling sick when you needed him the most. He missed the birth of Nari, missed holding your hand through the labor. He missed her first tooth, her first steps, her first words. He even missed her first day of school. All these milestones in Nari's life, and he wasn't there for any of them. A sense of loss washed over him, a regret for all the moments he had missed, moments he could never get back. Jongho was alone, filled with anger. He felt betrayed, kept in the dark about his own daughter all these years. He was furious at everyone, including himself. His hands clenched into fists as he grappled with the reality of missed opportunities to be a father.

As Hongjoong entered the dressing room, he could sense the storm of emotions raging within Jongho. The usually lively and cheerful atmosphere of the room was replaced by a heavy silence. Jongho was seated alone, lost in his thoughts. The look on his face was one of confusion and shock, a stark contrast to his usual cheerful demeanor.

"Jongho..." Hongjoong began, hoping to break the silence. His voice was gentle, not wanting to startle his friend. Jongho looked up, his eyes meeting Hongjoong's. There was a vulnerability in Jongho's eyes that tugged at Hongjoong's heart. He knew Jongho needed to talk, to let out all the emotions that were bottled up inside him.

"I know you have a lot on your mind because of Y/N showing up," Hongjoong said, taking a seat next to Jongho. His voice was soft, understanding. "And I'm here to listen, whenever you're ready to talk about this." His words hung in the air, offering a sense of comfort and support to Jongho.

"I'm surprised you even remember her," Jongho scoffed, the hurt evident in his voice. His mind was a whirlwind of emotions and memories, all coming back at once. Breaking the silence that hung heavily in the room, Hongjoong finally voiced the question that had been lingering in everyone's minds,

"Y/N's a mom now, how does it make you feel?" Hongjoong's voice was gentle, and cautious, as if he was afraid of shattering the fragile peace that had momentarily settled over them. He was aware that he was treading on thin ice, yet he also knew this was a conversation that needed to be held.

"I don’t know" Jongho's voice broke, the words he needed to confess stuck in his throat. He needed to admit that he was the father, but he couldn't find the words. The situation was too raw, too fresh. He was scared to say it out loud.

"Her daughter, she looks a bit like you," Hongjoong said gently, his gaze falling on his friend. "She has your eyes... your smile." As he spoke, Hongjoong's hand found its way to Jongho's shoulder, offering a reassuring squeeze. It was his way of encouraging Jongho, of letting him know that he wasn't alone in this.

Jongho finally broke down. His voice was barely a whisper as he admitted, "Because she's mine." His hands covered his face, trying to hide the tears that were streaming down his cheeks. His body trembled with the intensity of his emotions, the reality of the situation finally sinking in. "That night... when you told me to break up with Y/N, I..." He paused, struggling to find the right words. "I thought I was doing the right thing, for both of us." The memory of that night came rushing back to him, the pain, the confusion, the regret. He felt as though he was reliving that moment all over again.

Hongjoong remained silent, listening to Jongho's confession. He could see the pain etched on his friend's face, the regret in his eyes. "Jongho, I..." he began, but Jongho cut him off.

"I trusted you," Jongho continued, his voice choked with emotion. "I trusted you, and I let her go. But now... now I have found out that I have a daughter. A daughter that I didn't even know existed because I wasn't there for her... because I wasn't there for Y/N." His voice cracked the guilt and regret overwhelming him. "I missed out on so much because of that decision... because of you." Tears kept streaming down Jongho's face as he sobbed, he had lost so much - his love, his child, years of being a father - all because of a decision made years ago. And now, he didn't know how to deal with this overwhelming wave of regret and loss. "I don't know what to do," Jongho whispered, his eyes welling up with unshed tears. The weight of the revelations and the depth of his emotions were too much to bear. His heart felt heavy in his chest, the pain nearly unbearable. He felt lost, unsure of how to navigate the storm of emotions within him. The anger, the hurt, the betrayal... it was all too much. And yet, amidst all of that, there was also a profound sense of love; love for a child he had never known, but already cared for deeply. "What do I do now?" he asked, looking up with pleading eyes, desperate for guidance and a roadmap to navigate this new reality. Hongjoong was at a loss for words. He could see the pain in Jongho's eyes and feel the regret that filled the air around them.

"Jongho, I... I didn't know. I thought I was doing what was best for you. For your career. I never meant for this to happen," he finally managed to say, his voice filled with regret. But words were just words, and no apology could erase the years Jongho had lost.

"When I hugged Nari, it was like love just hit me with the power of a train," Jongho continued, his gaze fixed on Hongjoong. "I couldn't believe she's mine. The moment she was in my arms, I felt this overwhelming urge to break down, to cry and apologize for not being there from the start. Y/N's been doing that all alone, Hongjoong," Jongho cried out, his voice choked with emotion. "I wasn't there... I didn't know... The pregnancy, the birth, and then raising a daughter... She has been all alone." His voice broke in the last words, the heart-wrenching reality hitting him hard.

"Jongho, don’t blame yourself, you didn't know," Hongjoong finally spoke up, his voice filled with understanding and sympathy. "You still have a chance to make it right."

"How am I supposed to make it right?" Jongho asked, his voice filled with desperation and confusion. "Only you knew about Y/N. I've never told the rest of the boys, nor the managers, nothing... How am I supposed to make it work now?" His words hung heavy in the air for a moment, the weight of his predicament settling in. Jongho looked down, a mix of frustration and despair etched on his face. "Maybe it's too late... Maybe I've already lost my chance." He murmured, the hopelessness in his voice echoing through the room. His heart ached at the thought of missing out on his daughter's life, all the moments he could have been there for her.

"We'll find a way," Hongjoong said firmly, his voice tinged with determination. "We'll talk to the managers, to the members... We'll figure it out together."

"What if Y/N doesn't want me in her life again?" Jongho asked, the fear in his voice almost palpable. The thought of you rejecting him, of not wanting him in your life anymore, terrified him. The silence that followed was deafening, the tension in the air palpable.

"Jongho, Nari is your daughter," Hongjoong finally said, his voice steady and determined. "And regardless of what happened between you and Y/N, from now on she will always be a part of your life. You need to talk to Y/N, to understand her perspective and express your feelings. This is not only about Nari, but it's also about you and Y/N, about the life you could have together." After wiping away the last of his tears, Jongho took a deep breath, steadying himself. He knew what he had to do next.

"I need to reach out to Y/N," he said to himself, determination filling his voice.

"Do you still have her number?" Hongjoong asked. Jongho nodded, reaching into his pocket to pull out his phone. He scrolled through his contacts until he found your name. He hesitated for a moment before showing the screen to Hongjoong.

"But it's been five years... She could have changed it," Jongho voiced out his concern, the uncertainty clear in his voice.

"Well, it doesn't hurt to try?" Hongjoong asked, smiling at Jongho. Jongho looked back at Hongjoong, his expression unreadable. There was a long pause before he finally nodded, his gaze determined.

"You're right," he said, "It doesn't hurt to try."

"Nari will not only get her dad, but she will also get seven uncles. I promise the boys will love her so much. She will be so loved," Hongjoong said encouragingly. "So don't be afraid and talk to Y/N." Hongjoong's words hung in the air for a moment, creating a hopeful silence. Jongho looked at him, his sadness visibly subsiding, replaced by a glimmer of longing and anticipation.

"You really think they'll accept her? Accept us?" Jongho asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

"I know so," Hongjoong replied confidently. "We're a family, Jongho. And family means no one gets left behind or forgotten." With that, Jongho seemed to find a new resolve. He nodded, taking a deep breath as he prepared himself to take the first step towards a future where he could be a father to his daughter, a future where he was no longer kept in the dark.

The drive back to the dorms seemed to take an eternity. Jongho found himself lost in his thoughts, the car's quiet hum a stark contrast to the storm of emotions raging within him. The conversation with Hongjoong had eased his mind a bit, the weight of his newfound fatherhood feeling a little less heavy. He decided it was best to delay talking to the boys and the company about the situation until he had had time to process everything himself. It was a lot to take in, and he needed time to figure out his next steps. Once he entered his room, Jongho wasted no time. He locked the door behind him, seeking the privacy he needed for the call he was about to make. His heartbeat quickened as he dialed your number, each ring echoing in his ears until finally, the line connected.

you

After an exhausting day you found yourself sinking into the plush cushions of your couch, a glass of your favorite wine in hand. The TV screen in front of you was merely background noise, a mindless distraction from the day's events. Your phone suddenly lighted up, an incoming call from an unknown caller. You picked it up, eyeing the unfamiliar number with a slight frown. After a moment's hesitation, you finally answered, "Hello? Who is it?"

"Hi, it's me, Jongho," he said, his voice sending a shiver down your spine. You swallowed hard, your heart starting to beat faster. ‘’Do you have time to talk right now?’’

"Yeah, Nari's at my mom's now…" you managed to reply, trying to keep your voice steady. You didn't expect that Jongho had your number, let alone that he would reach out so quickly.

Jongho's heart beat harder at the mention of Nari's name. "If you're not busy, maybe we could meet up for a coffee?" Jongho offered.

"Jongho, you don't have to be doing this. I don't expect you to do anything for Nari or me," you blurted out, the words tumbling from your lips before you could stop them.

"Y/N, you took her away from me for four years. She's my daughter. And for years, I was oblivious to her existence. I missed out on so much because you chose to keep me in the dark," Jongho's voice was steady, but you could hear the underlying emotion. "Because of that, I think you owe me at least a conversation." There was a pause, and you could almost feel Jongho gathering his thoughts. "So, what you need to do now is send me the address of a coffee place near your location. I'll meet you there in an hour."

"Alright, Jongho, let's meet. I'll send you an address," you sighed heavily, the weight of the situation pressing down on you. You knew deep down that you owed him this conversation, even if it was the last thing you wanted to do right now. The reality was that you weren't ready to face whatever consequences this meeting would bring about. You weren't ready to delve into the past, but for your daughter's sake, for Jongho's sake, and maybe a little bit for your own sake, you would do it. You would meet him, and you would have this conversation.

"I'll see you there," Jongho said, ending the call and leaving you alone with your thoughts. You finished your glass of wine, texted Jongho the address of a coffee place near your apartment, and began to gather your belongings. Opening your wardrobe, you sighed loudly. You wanted to look your best for Jongho but didn't want to appear as if you were preparing for a date or trying too hard to impress him after all these years. Having chosen an outfit, put on your denim jacket, and headed to the coffee shop.

Upon entering the coffee shop, your eyes immediately found Jongho, sitting alone in a corner. He was dressed casually in a beige coat, his face partially hidden behind glasses, and a mask. The sight of him caused a flutter in your heart and your hands started to tremble involuntarily. You straightened your clothes and ran a hand through your hair, trying to compose yourself. Taking a deep breath, you began to make your way towards his table, preparing yourself for the conversation to come.

"Hi," you almost whispered as you found your seat opposite Jongho. You tried to maintain an air of confidence, but the reality was that your heart was pounding in your chest. You could feel a lump forming in your throat, and you quickly swallowed to clear it. The memories of your past with Jongho were flooding back, and you were suddenly overcome with a mix of nostalgia, regret, fear, and hope. Jongho looked at you intently, his eyes scanning your features. It was surreal, he thought, to have you sitting there across from him after all these years. He still couldn't quite believe, that you were here with him. His heart pounded in his chest, a mix of excitement and fear coursing through his veins. This was it - the start of a conversation that was years overdue. "Are you sure you want to talk here?" you asked, glancing around at the bustling café. "This place is still quite busy considering it's already evening," you continued. There was an uncertainty in your tone, a clear sign of your nervousness. You then looked back at Jongho, meeting his gaze. "I just think that considering your status now, it will be more comfortable to do it at my place," you added, offering an alternative.

After a moment of silence, Jongho finally found the courage to ask, "Are you comfortable with me coming over to your place?" His voice was filled with a hint of apprehension as if he was worried about crossing any boundaries.

"Yeah, it's alright," you responded, your tone casual and inviting. You quickly added, ‘’My place isn’t far from here, just about 5 minutes away. Besides, Nari won’t be home tonight. She's staying over with her grandparents, so we'll have the place to ourselves.’’

Jongho seemed to consider your words for a moment before he finally agreed, "Okay then, let's go," his tone steady, as if he was trying to mask his excitement or maybe it was anxiety. Together, you left the bustling café, heading towards the quiet comfort of your apartment. The walk was filled with palpable tension, both of you lost in your thoughts, silently anticipating the conversation that awaited.

You let Jongho in and lead him to the living room. "I'm sorry, it's nothing fancy," you whispered, feeling suddenly self-conscious. You were aware that with the success Jongho had achieved, he was probably used to living in more amazing spaces. Jongho looked around your modest space, taking in the sights of a home that you had lovingly created for yourself and Nari. Her baby pictures were hanging on the wall, her toys scattered in every corner. His smile widened as he took in these intimate glimpses into her life. It filled him with a warm, tender feeling, a sense of connection to the daughter he was only just getting to know.

''I don't know where to start'' you finally whispered anxiously as you sit down on the couch.

Jongho looked at you, his eyes softening. "How about we start from the beginning?''

"I found out about a month after we broke up," you started, your voice shaking. Jongho's presence felt so strange in your apartment. His eyes on yours added to the tension that was heavy on your shoulders.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Jongho asked, his voice filled with a mixture of confusion and hurt. His eyes bore into yours, seeking answers to questions that had been plaguing him since he found out about Nari.

"I was scared," you confessed, your voice barely audible. "And I loved you too much to burden you with my pregnancy," you said, smiling sadly and averting your gaze as you felt tears welling up in your eyes. "And don't try to lie and tell me I wouldn't ruin your life with it," you chuckled, your finger wiping away the tears that escaped. "Because I would have," you continued, the words heavy with regret and unshed tears. "Your music, your dreams... I couldn't stand in the way of that."

"I think I had the right to know," Jongho interrupted, his voice firm yet filled with emotion. His words brought a heavy silence between the two of you. His gaze was intent, the hurt and confusion clear in his eyes.

"Jongho, I didn't mean to hurt you by keeping it a secret," you admitted, your voice trembling with emotion. "But at that time, I genuinely believed it was the best decision for the three of us." You gave him a pleading look, hoping he would understand.

"I want to be Nari's father," Jongho confessed, his voice barely above a whisper but the conviction in his words was undeniable. You were taken aback by his confession, not expecting him to express such a strong desire to be a part of your daughter's life. You looked at him, your heart pounding in your chest as you tried to find the right words.

"Jongho... we are doing good, the two of us. You've chosen your career, and I want you to stick to that decision now. Nari doesn't change anything."

"How can you say that? Of course, it changes everything! I am a father now!", Jongho's voice rose, his tone filled with a sense of urgency and frustration. His heart pounded in his chest, his gaze never leaving yours. "Nari exists because we loved each other," his voice choked with emotion as he continued, "She's a living proof of our love." His voice trailed off, the weight of his words hanging heavy in the room. He was desperate for you to understand. His life, his priorities, everything had shifted the moment he found out about Nari. And he was determined to do whatever it took to be a part of her life. Jongho's eyes flashed with determination as he refused to accept your words. "I am her dad, Y/N, and you can't change that!" he exclaimed, his voice filled with conviction.

"I know you are, Jongho," you admitted, your voice softening."But I want you to focus on Ateez, you guys are already doing so well," you responded, your voice steady yet filled with a strange calmness. "Me and Nari... we'll be better off without you." The words hung heavily in the air, a painful reality neither of you wanted to face.

"Stop lying to yourself!" Jongho suddenly stood up, glaring at you as his frustration boiled over. His voice echoed around the room, a clear indication of his disbelief and anger at your words. His outburst took you by surprise. You looked at him, taken aback by the intensity of his emotions.

"Jongho, I made a mistake… I shouldn't have come to the fan sign, I shouldn't have let you meet Nari," you started, but he cut you off.

"Enough, Y/N!" he exclaimed; his voice filled with raw emotion. "You don't get to decide what's best for me. She is my daughter too, do you understand?" You swallowed hard, feeling a lump forming in your throat. You knew he was right. "I want to be there for Nari." You looked at him, speechless. You hadn't expected this. You hadn't expected him to fight for his right to be a part of Nari's life. But here he was, standing in your living room, pouring his heart out to you.

"This is a huge responsibility. Are you sure you're ready for it?" You took a deep breath, locking eyes with him. "Because once you're in, there's no going back." Jongho gaze softened, but the determination remained.

"Yes, I'm sure," he said resolutely. "I want to be a part of her life. And I'm ready to take on the responsibility that comes with it." His voice was steady, his conviction clear. There was a pause, a momentary lapse in his speech before he finally found the courage to continue with his confession. "And...," he started his voice barely a whisper, so low and quiet that it was almost lost. You had to strain your ears to hear the rest of his sentence. "I want you back as well, if you will have me" he admitted his words carrying an emotional weight that you could feel hanging in the air between you. You were stunned, unable to form a coherent response. Jongho's words had taken you completely by surprise. You never expected him to confess his feelings, to say that he wanted you back. It felt like your heart was pounding out of your chest, your mind racing with thoughts. You looked at him, your emotions in turmoil. Tears welled up in your eyes, blurring your vision.

"Jongho, I..." you started, struggling to find the right words. You could see the hope in his eyes, the same hope that you felt blossoming in your own heart. "I need time to think about all of this," you finally admitted. "For now, we should focus on you getting to know Nari."

His face fell slightly at your words, but he quickly composed himself. "Of course, I understand," Jongho responded, his voice gentle. "Take all the time you need. And I look forward to getting to know our daughter." After a moment, Jongho broke the silence, his voice soft as he asked, "Could I see her room, if that's not too much to ask?" His eyes were hopeful as he looked at you, his chest rising and falling steadily as he took a few calming breaths. It was clear that he was trying to keep his emotions in check, to respect your need for space and time. As much as he wanted to rush into your lives, he knew he had to tread carefully. After all, he was not just stepping into the life of his former lover, but also into the life of his daughter.

"Of course, you can but… You're not gonna like it," you chuckled softly, Jongho's heart softened at the sight of your genuine smile, a smile he had missed more than he cared to admit.

''Why?'' Jongho asked surprised, but you didn't answer. You wanted for him to see it himself. You led Jongho to Nari's room. The sight that greeted him was a mix of bright colors and cute decorations, a clear reflection of the little girl who called this place her sanctuary. And there, among all the toys and drawings, was a framed picture of… Wooyoung.

"Is that... Wooyoung?" Jongho's voice was filled with surprise as his eyes widened at the sight. He quickly made his way into the room, picking up the framed picture in his hands.

"Yes, it's Wooyoung," you confirmed a soft smile on your lips. "Nari adores him. She thinks he's the coolest in the world." You watched as Jongho's gaze lingered on the picture; his expression unreadable. Jongho looked at you, his eyes filled with a mix of emotions.

"I can't believe that amongst all of us, she had to choose Wooyoung," Jongho muttered, his voice low and filled with a sense of disbelief and a hint of jealousy. His gaze remained fixed on the picture, his thoughts running wild. ''My own daughter?'' You giggled again, finding Jongho's disbelief and subtle jealousy amusing.

"Well, she does have a good taste. After all, Wooyoung is pretty cool," you teased, watching as Jongho's face fell even more. You couldn't help but find the whole situation incredibly amusing. Here was Jongho, an idol who was adored by millions around the world, feeling jealous of his own bandmate. Jongho shook his head, chuckling softly at your comment.

"I guess I have some catching up to do then," he said, placing the picture back on the little, pink desk. His tone was light, but you could sense the determination behind his words. He was ready to do whatever it took to build a relationship with his daughter. You watched him, your heart aching at the sight. Jongho, the man you once loved, standing in your daughter's room, expressing his desire to be a part of her life. It was a sight you never imagined you would witness.

"Jongho, I think...I think it's a good start," you finally said, your voice soft but steady. "You wanting to get to know Nari, to be a part of her life...it means a lot."

Jongho turned to you, his gaze softening. "I should've been there from the start," he admitted with a sigh. "But I promise you, I'll make up for the lost time." Those words, that promise, filled you with a sense of hope. You knew the journey ahead would be filled with challenges and uncertainties. But for the first time in a long time, you felt that you weren't alone in this. And maybe, just maybe, there was a possibility for a future where you, Jongho, and Nari could be a family. But for now, you decided to take things one step at a time, starting with Jongho getting to know his daughter.

"She asked about you the other day," you started, your voice barely a whisper as you looked at Jongho. "She had never asked about her dad before, but when she did, it changed something inside me." You admitted, a lump forming in your throat as you recalled the moment. It was a memory that had been haunting you, a reminder of the reality that you had been trying to avoid. Jongho's eyes widened slightly, a mix of surprise and curiosity reflecting in his gaze as he awaited your next words. "I knew this day would come, but I wasn't prepared for it," you continued, your voice choked with emotion. At this, Jongho reached out, taking your hand in his. The warmth of his touch brought a small comfort. "I told her a few things about you, told her you were really busy," you confessed, your eyes meeting Jongho's. "I didn't know what else to say. She asked if her daddy would treat her to ice cream next time."

Jongho's hand squeezed yours lightly as he stated, "Well, then Daddy will take her to get ice cream," he flashed you a smile and you swore you melted at the sight. You had buried your love for Jongho deep in your heart. But now, his hand on yours, his touch that you craved for so long, stirred something within you. You had to admit that those feelings were slightly knocking at your heart, reminding you of their existence. The silence that filled the room was comfortable, a stark contrast to the tension that had been present earlier. You could see the determination in Jongho's eyes, the promise of his words echoing in the quiet room. The reality of the situation was slowly sinking in, and you found yourself looking at Jongho with newfound hope.

"I guess we still have a lot to talk about," you finally broke the silence, your gaze steady on Jongho. There was a soft smile on your face, a clear indication of your acceptance of the situation. "And a lot of ice cream to buy," you added, your tone light and teasing.

Jongho chuckled, his eyes sparkling with amusement. "I guess we do," he agreed, his voice warm and gentle. He then looked at you, his gaze softening. "But first, we need to figure out how to tell Nari." You nodded, a sense of apprehension filling you. Telling Nari about her dad would be a challenge, a hurdle that both of you needed to cross together. But looking at Jongho, his determination, and his willingness to step up as a father, you felt a sense of comfort.

"We'll figure it out, Jongho," you said, squeezing his hand in reassurance. "Together."

Jongho looked at you, a serious expression on his face. "Y/N, I wanted to talk to you first about this, but tomorrow I'm going to talk with company representatives and the boys. I think I will choose to go on a hiatus to spend some time with Nari and you," he confessed, his voice steady and sincere. The honesty in his words and the determination in his eyes gave you a sense of reassurance. Jongho was indeed ready to take on the responsibility of being a father, and he was willing to make sacrifices for it.

"Jongho, I want to be clear about something," you started, your eyes meeting his. "I'd still like it if you continued your career. I don't want Nari or me to be the reason you have to give up on your dreams." Your words were steady and sincere, echoing in the quiet room. Jongho looked at you, a wave of relief washing over him. He had been worried about the impact this situation would have on his career, but hearing your support eased his concerns.

"Hearing you say that... it means a lot to me," he confessed, his voice filled with gratitude. He was glad to know that even in this complex situation, he still had your support.

The two of you spent the rest of the evening talking about Nari, her likes and dislikes, her habits, and her dreams. You showed him her drawings, her favorite toys, and even her diary which was filled with her innocent thoughts and dreams. Jongho listened attentively, absorbing every detail. He knew he had a lot of catching up to do, but he was more than willing to make up for the lost time. The night grew late as you continued to talk, discussing the future, your shared past, and how everything would affect Nari. You made it clear to Jongho that his career was still significant, and that he could balance his responsibilities as a father without giving up his dreams. And as you spoke, Jongho felt a wave of relief wash over him. Your support meant the world to him, and he was grateful to hear your words of encouragement.

As you finally said your goodbyes, Jongho promised to keep in touch and to start involving himself in Nari's life slowly. He understood that he had a lot of catching up to do and that it wouldn't be easy. But he was ready to face the challenges ahead, ready to be a father to Nari.

"I'll see you soon, Y/N," Jongho said, his voice low but firm. Before he took a step outside of the door, he stepped closer and gently placed a kiss on your cheek. The action was unexpected. You felt your blood rush to your cheeks as he placed a gentle kiss. Where his lips had touched, a tingling sensation lingered, causing your heart to flutter. He turned back to give you a reassuring smile, a promise that he would be back soon. And as you watched him walk away, you felt a sense of hope blossoming in your heart. You knew that the road ahead would be rocky, but you also knew that you weren't alone on this journey. Jongho would be there, ready to face the challenges with you, for Nari's sake.

#ateez x reader #ateez x y/n #ateez x you #jongho x reader #jongho x y/n #jongho x you #jongho angst #jongho fluff #jongho as dad

148 notes · View notes

starrynights-sunnyskies · 1 month

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as the flowers bloom, my heart does too ⋆*·ﾟmisa x putellas!femreader, social media au, (5/-)

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when your relationship ends and all you want to do is hide and cry, flowers suddenly start to appear on your doorstep.

or; misa hating to see a pretty girl cry and suffer and going out of her way to cheer her up while staying anonymous

fic: coming

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yourusername: feliz día de san valentín 💌 Liked by alexiaputellas, albaps9, bff3 and 3,927 others

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janafernandez3 I knew you were smiling more than usual lately!!!!

ingridengen Congrats, sweet girl! 😘

ona.battle Yaayy!

marialeonn16 Bambiiii, yes! 😭

salmaparalluelo Have the sweetest day!

bff3 At last 😉❤️

mikkykiemeney cuteee 🎀

marisabel_rguez Lucky girl! ↳ yourusername me or her? ↳ marisabel_rguez Uhh, trick question? liked by yourusername and 15 others

bff1 about timeeeee. i'm so happy for you 💃🤗

username1 the bracelet???? ↳ username2 THE M!! ↳ username3 the m! 😱 ↳ username1 who else do we know she hangs out with that starts with M that doesn't rhyme with visa? ↳ username4 mapi 🤣 ↳ username2 let's not pretend we don't know who it is lol

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Direct Messages marisabel_rguez Happy valentine's, mi querida. I've got a surprise for you. ↳ yourusername another one?? you spoil me too much 😠 ↳ marisabel_rguez As I should, please let me!! ↳ marisabel_rguez So, are you coming? ↳ marisabel_rguez Don't keep me waiting, guapa. ↳ yourusername fuck, okay Seen

alexiaputellas Hey hermanita, I know you were hesitant to tell us about your love life a little while ago, not wanting to jinx things and taking that time together to explore things in private before making things official.... but we will always love you no matter what and we want to love who's made you this happy too. So whenever you're ready, okay? Follow your gut and heart. I'd love to meet your special someone and learn everything about how she makes you happy, how you met, what she's like. I promise to be nice! 😉 Te quiero mucho, ardilla. Delivered

albaps9 yn i'm not going to lie, i'm hurt you've kept me out of the loop after i helped you get through it all. especially when i had to find out myself through instagram posts?? i always like to believe that you know you can come to me for your lows and your highs, so it hurts when you don't. i know you deal with these kind of things differently, especially after all that's happened, so i'll get over it and push my pride aside. but we'll still talk about this, kay? i just hope that you can let us in on your happiness once you're ready. and please don't forget that you deserve this and everything else you haven't even thought of. albaps9 btw, i'll keep my mouth shut for now like you asked, but i don't like keeping things from alexia and mama so it's best they hear it from you instead of connecting the dots as well. i won't lie to them if they ask me directly. i know you're hesitant to start anything new or to tell us so that we won't worry again. i get that you want to keep it private until you're sure it's serious, but we're here for you either way. no judgements, no standards. we just want to see you at your happiest and be there to see you like that. okay? vale. also, i love you, you fucking turd. Delivered

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↳ 21h ago: yourusername added to their story

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↳ 56min ago: yourusername added to their story

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Direct Messages

leilaouahabi Boooo, wrong equipo! ↳ yourusername you don't even play for barça anymore 🤣 ↳ leilaouahabi Once a culer, always a culer!!! Which you SHOULD KNOW! ↳ yourusername 😛 Seen

albaps9 lol alexia is sooo gonna interrogate you over this. good luck. i've kept my mouth so far but you're making it veeeery hard on yourself, little one. Seen

claudiaapina Just... why?! 😱 Seen

janafernandez3 Not cool 😣 ↳ yourusername sorry, lovely ): Delivered

alexiaputellas Que pasa??????? Yn...? 😟 alexiaputellas Oi, don't leave me on seen on this one!! Seen

marisabel_rguez You liked the match? ↳ yourusername sorry, what? was too busy ogling the goalie the entire match. still thinking about her, frankly. ↳ marisabel_rguez That's all I needed to hear. ↳ marisabel_rguez What about her are you thinking of exactly? ↳ yourusername well, what time she'll come back to the hotel, for example? ↳ marisabel_rguez Few hours or so, she just told me. Don't miss her too much in the meantime. ↳ yourusername welp... that's going to be hard! i need her here ): ↳ marisabel_rguez Keep the bed warm for her then. Think you can do that? ↳ yourusername on it. but tell her to not make me wait too long. ↳ marisabel_rguez Or? ↳ yourusername the door will be locked and i'll have a mighty entertaining evening all by myself... ↳ marisabel_rguez Y/n... 😫 ↳ yourusername 😊 Seen

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yourusername: found her. my missing piece 🧩 Liked by marisabel_rguez, marialeonn16, leahwilliamsonn and 4,287 others

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bff1 but you fucking hate puzzles. lockdown proved that. ↳ bff3 Because we couldn't find the missing piece for weeks, then found it in the couch!!!!!!! ↳ yourusername if i had known that’s where she’d be hidden away all this time, i would’ve deep cleaned the apartment waaaay sooner liked by 13 others ↳ bff3 🥹 ↳ yourusername that unfinished puzzle still haunts my dreams btw ↳ bff1 i too have nightmares of jigsaws, but i think that's a different sorta jigsaw entirely 👹🔪 ↳ bff2 who are you and what you have done with our friend for you to ignore that last slide @/bff1 ↳ bff1 the one time i behave and it's not appreciated? ffs ↳ bff3 I hadn't even noticed that one holy heckkk, yn!! so cute!! 🤩

albaps9 okay i see you, that’s why your door was locked from the inside ↳ bff1 be happy that it was 😬😂 ↳ yourusername um hello? can't a couple take a sweet bath together? ↳ bff1 um hi? sweet bath... my ass! ↳ albaps9 um HELLO? i'm still here?! 🤮

bff1 cheeseball ↳ yourusername only saying it how it is 🤷‍♀️

username1 still no tag?? 😫 ↳ username2 omfg leave them be ↳ username3 No need when the answers pretty clear ↳ username4 brb zooming in on that tatted hand 🕵️‍♀️

alexiaputellas Yn, everyone can see this ↳ jennihermoso You're just pressed that YOU saw it. And this was so tame. ↳ alexiaputellas Still my little sister. ↳ jennihermoso Part two: you're just pressed you don't know who she's snogging. ↳ alexiaputellas Can I dislike a comment on here, too?

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↳ 45min ago: yourusername added to their story This story is no longer available

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Direct Messages

albaps9 did you forget mama follows you too? she did NOT get the goalie joke and took it very literal albaps9 this one landed so wrong for ale too, she immediately called mami to call you 🤣 albaps9 ynn mami’s just asked me about it again. told her to text you, have fun with that. i love you but i'm not fixing your mess 🙃👋😘 Seen

alexiaputellas Y/n disculpe, but you posted it on your public story. And even if you'd posted it to your closed friends... I'm on there as well. Can I at least meet who you're seeing before I know, well... you know. Delivered

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Text Messages

○○○○○○○ mama 🌷(ICE) Why don't you pick up, laelia? mama 🌷(ICE) Mi hija... let me tell you something. mama 🌷(ICE) In relationships, some things are meant to be kept between the couple. To keep it special and protected. mama 🌷(ICE) If your story talks about what I think it does, you omg no mami, let's not, por FAVOR. i deleted it already!! mama 🌷(ICE) Vale, but seems I needed to say it to you, didn't I? You put yourself in this predicament. I see what you post too, linda. mama 🌷(ICE) Now, don't be embarrassed. When two people really love each other, that's just how things go. I'm glad you feel comfortable enough to show that side to one another. you please don't, i will ignore you. mama 🌷(ICE) Y/n, there's no need to feel weird. You can talk to me about everything. About sex too. I'm your mother, I'm supposed to help you navigate these things in life. It's important to feel comfortable during intercourse with yourself and your partner and to both enjoy it. It's not good to learn everything from the internet nowadays and I would never want you feeling insecure or worried about something when you can just talk to me about it. Nothing is too crazy, vale? you ○○○ mama 🌷(ICE) But it so happens that your sister is well-known and that means that some of her audience finds your internet pages too. I'm sure you didn't mean it in a bad way, but think of it next time, okay, querida? mama 🌷(ICE) And I just want to add, a healthy sex life is important, so it's good that you have that and can talk about what you like or don't like with each other. But I'd prefer not finding out you do from the internet. Or before having met your girlfriend. This goes for Alexia, too. She didn't like it. I want my first impression of your girlfriend to be a little different than knowing what she's good at, so to say. I know, no judgements from me, but you're still our niña pequiña, laelia. you ○○○ you ○○○ Read

Text Messages

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you you free right now? albaquerque 🌼 nope. still at work. why? you ack, you butt, you're texting me rn aren't you? albaquerque 🌼 bc when my tiny munchkin of a sis needs me, i'm here. it wounds me that you still don't know that </3 albaquerque 🌼 no seriously why? you buy a shovel after work and please, PUH-lease, help and bury me alive. albaquerque 🌼 jajajajaja mami?? you si, i want the ground to swallow me whole albaquerque 🌼 well i don't have time to come and help you, but maybe your gf will help you dig it with her bare, good-working, skilled and strong hands? or are you going to say she's even better with her tongue now? 😂😂😂😂 you vete a la mierda albaquerque 🌼 now for the love of god, go and tell ale before it's too late. she knows it's a goalie now, it's only a matter of time, yn. after that i'll help you shovel both your graves. seeing as misa will likely need one too. it'll be sooo romantic being next to each other even in death 😍 Seen

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username1: Well, the match just ended and... that was intense? Wanna guess what they were talking about before the ref sent them apart? I also want to know what Alexia quickly yapped to Misa after the goal because whatever it was, it wrecked her up for the rest of the match 😬 1...2...3.. go! Liked by 120 people

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username1 rip misa ouch, she looked so hurt ):

username2 ✨welcome to the family✨

username3 Yeah that didn't look too friendly but still personal 😬

username4 i just knew alexia was waiting all evening to wipe the smug smile off misa’s face the second they all shook hands before the kickoff lol

username5 First run-in with the in-laws already 😆😆

username6 misa’s strong for still staying with yn after this, i would’ve ran and cried, tail between my legs if alexia had done this like yes ma'am, okay ma'am, sorry ma'am.

username7 this was prob just the initiation to the putellas fam 🤝

username8 “Yn babe? Do you think your sister likes me?” :

username9 Awwwkwarddd...

username10 not yn making it worse by going to misa first after the match 🤣🤣🤣

username11 alexia the entire time: 🤨😐 ↳ username5 fr if looks could kill 🥴 ↳ username10 yn would be girlfriend-less

username12 yn come get your woman

username13 Bark bark.

username14 MISA! BAD! ↳ username10 exactly, misa’s down bad 🤪

username15 Would've killed to be a fly on the wall in that locker room and hear the goss

username16 well, looks like they were having a great time 😳

username17 not the camera panning to yn momentarily ↳ username18 the camera operator is one of us 😭👏

username19 knowing misa, no appropriate words came out of that mouth tho 🤣🥵

username20 claws out 🥊

username21 "You fuck my little sister? I'll fuck up your saving ratio! ☺️"

username20 okay no, if my gf fought in my honour and looked this good while doing it, i’d swoon ↳ username18 she didn’t save it tho 🫠 ↳ username20 it is the thought that counts!!!

username22 Wait, what happened between them? I thought they were such good friends? They used to have all these sweet moments together. That entire pk situation seemed so hostile... ↳ username15 Misa's allegedly dating Alexia's youngest sister. But no idea why they seemed so sour.

username23 everyone always talks about enemies to friends, but what about friends to enemies🤣

username24 Who cares?? Forca Barcaaaa!

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Text Messages

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you proud of you 🖤

m 💌 Shit game, but I could hear you cheer me on multiple times. Gracias, querida.

you yeah? you did?

m 💌 Yes 😘 It probably wasn't easy for you to cheer on both teams, but thank you for having my back.

you ofc, my love. always.

you i'll always be your favourite cheerleading wag 🤩

m 💌 My only one! And you look really good doing it.

you too bad you didn’t save that pk tho, bc i would’ve screamed your name

m 💌 ○○○ m 💌 ○○○ m 💌 We still have tonight, no?

you ○○○ you ○○○ you ○○○ you ○○○ you no. you not before you apologise to alexia. you i know you said some things to get her that irked

m 💌 I’m just mad she’s mad. You're finally happy and now she's not. We told her and the first thing she did was walk away and ignore us for two weeks. That hurt. I tried to mend things during camp, but she was cold the entire time. She's making me feel like I'm not good enough for you. I know I shouldn't let my insecurities talk, but I also didn't like how her reaction to us made you go back to your ways of internalising and such. I don't like seeing you like that. And maybe she wouldn't have reacted this way if you were dating someone she didn't know, and then she wouldn't have had this reaction towards you either.

m 💌 And I've been feeling this mad since that very first moment, so I guess it just came out. I feel even worse now, because I never wanted to put you in this situation or make things with her even worse.

m 💌 Dios mio, and your mother was there too. I'm so sorry, Y/n.

you it's okay misa, you're a passionate person and are loud and fierce when you love. never apologise for it, because it's the very thing i love about you. i would never expect you to change your ways for anyone. i know you've been upset, and i'm sorry that it's not something i could control. but alexia has every right to feel that way, we should’ve handled it differently... told her sooner. i could see it hurt her when she realised mama and alba already knew. we've owned up to our mistake, but she needs some time to come around and forgive us, accept this is happening. she will, in time. that's just her. she's known you for a while and now i'm with you... she needs time to adjust not only seeing you as her friend, but as my girlfriend too. she feels a little awkward. i don't know what you said, but that probably didn't help her feel comfortable about the entire thing. no matter how much it worked me up seeing you that way.

m 💌 I'm not that kind of person to talk that way about women. Or about you.

you i know, amor. you but what did you say to her?

m 💌 I asked her if she was ready to take it, if she was sure, just normal talk to get her off focus, you know? It wasn't meant as anything personal, but then she returned the question, but about you. Asked me if I was sure about taking it while you were watching. I said that it would only help me do better. Then she asked me if I was sure I was good for you.

you you are, please don't ever doubt yourself. you so so so so are.

m 💌 I tried to, but it just hit me the wrong way. So then the whole tone changed but everyone was watching so we tried to keep it lowkey, but it was so hard. I asked what kind of sister would say such a thing when you're clearly happy with me. Probably got a little cocky and said you'd come to me when I saved it, not to her, especially after her recent behaviour with you. I might have implied something would happen tonight between us if I saved it, though. That you were mine now. And I hate myself because I keep hearing the way I sounded while saying it and it disgusts me and I made it worse and I would never talk or think about you like property but the way she looked at me and said those things I just really wanted to hurt her back and I knew that would do it. I fucking hate and regret it.

you easy, misa, i know, love. it's okay. i know you don't see me that way, you've never treated me as such. but it's happened, don't dwell on that. we can think of how to fix things now, okay? you but what did she whisper in your ear when she collected the ball from the goal?

m 💌 It's fine, don't you worry about it, querida.

you you don't have to protect me from it, you know? it's okay if you don't want to talk about it, but i'll ask ale about it either way. i want to know what hurt you so badly, and don't even deny it. i know you. whatever she said, don't take it to heart. not going to lie, you probably hit some vulnerable spots. i'll explain later why alexia's extra aggy about it all. but we need to talk about this, the three of us. and you two need to make up too. i'll coax up to her first or things might get even worse. going to her and olga's place rn.

you listen to me, everything will be okay, babe. vale? i love you.

m 💌 Yo tambien ❤️ you you can make yourself welcome at my place. dinner's in the fridge. you oh WAIT m 💌 Patiently 😇 you DON'T eat my cannoli!!!!!!!!!!!!!! m 💌 I was kind of planning on doing exactly that tonight... with your permission, of course 😉 you fuck you i love you 😩 m 💌 I love you more.

you and about that me being yours thing, if you ever say that again, i will jump your bones.

m 💌 You better hurry up then.

m 💌 But be safe.

m 💌 You're my everything. And I really love you. Can you please never forget that?

Delivered

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↳ 49min ago: alexiaputellas added to their story

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Text Messages

○○○○○○○ ale🐻 Home? you home! ale🐻 Safe? you and sound ❤️ ale🐻 Wish you could have stayed a little longer but today was... overwhelming and I'm spent. you it's okay, ale, everything's good again, yea? ale🐻 With you, always. Just give me a little more time. It still hurts a little, I wish I had known sooner. For what it's worth, I think you've found yourself both a best friend and a lover in her. I'm happy for you. you really? ale🐻 Yes, of course. I'm sorry my behaviour lately has made you question that. ale🐻 I realise it wasn't fair of me to not give you the freedom to decide your own life. You're your own person, no longer the little pigtailed pipsqueak hanging onto my neck with all your million questions all the damn time jaja. you don't think the pigtails will make a comeback, but i'll happily tackle your back for piggyback rides again? ale🐻 Please ❤️ ale🐻 But when you got so hurt last time around, we lost you. Lost the smiley you. The giddy you. The hermanita we knew. We couldn't reach you and that was really scary. I didn't know how to help and was not always around because of football. It's still one of my biggest regrets. I guess I'm just scared of you ever losing yourself like that again because someone broke your heart, so anyone who gets close to you like that... well, I don't like them or want them around you. But that was never fair of me. Because that was also going against what I want, which is you at your happiest. ale🐻 But when Misa made that comment before the penalty, she just sounded a lot like... you my ex. ale🐻 Si. I hate how I accidentally heard your ex talk about you like that, but then I hate it even more that that was normal for you... day in, day out. And then I hate myself again for not realising sooner and having pulled you out of that environment the second you started dating. If only I'd been around, I would've seen through her the second we met. I'm so sorry. you Don't be. She played it well. But I don't want to talk about that. What's done is done. I'm sorry you felt like that. ale🐻 Don't apologise for someone else's behaviour. ale🐻 Anyway, it was stupid for me to take out my frustration on Misa. If I hadn't, she wouldn't have caught my bait. I know Misa's not like that. It was just a little bad-mouthing to get the nerves up. But she hit me exactly where it hurt. Don't think she realised. you she does realise. she doesn't know why it hurt exactly, but she feels bad and wants to apologise. face to face. can she? not tonight of course. go get your sleep now. you just, one of these days? please. you i want you two to get along again. i don't want our relationship to ruin your friendship just as much as i don't want you to hate my girlfriend. ale🐻 Vale. ale🐻 You love her, and I've loved her as a friend before she meant something to you. I'll try, okay? you you sound a lot like mama you did she give you a lecture after the game? ale🐻 😣 you how are your ears? still hurting from the pinching? 🤣 ale🐻 I'm too tall for that now , she can't reach me😁 ale🐻 But it's okay. Go to sleep, laelia 😛 ale🐻 I love you. you i love you too you and i'll never not look up to you ale🐻 And I promise that from now on, I'll never not be here for you 😘

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enjoy your week lovelies 🌻

#misa rodriguez x reader #woso social media au #woso x reader

359 notes · View notes

esmedelacroix · 3 months

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"And the fact that you didn't call,"

husband!miguel x f!reader ♡

10 Things I Hate About You ← mini-series masterlist

"I hate it when you're not around," ← previous part

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You spent your time alone at your house doing the most random things. Binging RuPaul's Drag Race and vacuuming all the nooks and crannies you never would've thought to vacuum. All while simultaneously checking your phone every two seconds waiting for a call from him.

You didn't know what you wanted him to say. Just anything. You wanted to hear his voice but you also wanted to ignore him. You had no idea what you wanted. Your mind was all jumbled from overthinking. If all you wanted was to talk with him, why were you ignoring him?

Am I sending him mixed signals? Why don't I just go talk to him? This is getting out of hand. I'll go see him. Right when you made that mental decision the doorbell rang. Your heart swelled hoping it would be Miguel coming home to you early.

You open the door and your heart sinks to the ground when you see Justine standing at the door. "Can we please talk?" Justine asked in an apologetic tone.

You went against everything in your mind telling you to slam the door on her face and opened the door wider for her to walk in.

. . .

Justine's POV

While walking to Miguel's office I heard him talking to people in there and overheard them talking about me.

"Yes Justine, the girl you keep running to instead of spending time with your wife," Gwen said.

"The girl you keep choosing over your wife," Peter B added.

I had no idea that Miguel and his wife were having problems because of me. Sure I had been rude to her a couple of times but that's just what I do when I'm pissed. I never think about how my actions could affect people. My dad was right. Justine thought to herself as she swung to Miguel's apartment.

. . .

Your POV

"I'm going to skip the small talk and get right to the point. I owe you the biggest apology," Justine started.

"Go on," you hummed.

"I'm sorry. And I don't want your man. Trust me, I don't exactly swing that way if you catch my drift," she said sheepishly. You only gave her a puzzled look.

"I'm gay," she deadpanned.

"Oh," you chuckled.

"My father was never really accepting of me and after he found out I was Spiderwoman he lost it. Miguel was the first older guy to be nice to me since then and I looked for fatherly qualities in him which was quite inappropriate and childish but I couldn't help myself," she explained. You gave her shoulder a comforting squeeze.

"Can you find it in your heart to forgive me?" she asked.

Literally no, is what you thought to yourself but instead, you said "Of course I can. Thank you for coming here and apologizing. That was very thoughtful of you,"

After a while of chatting with Justine and finding out she's not the literal spawn of satan and she's only a bit annoying you finally sighed when she left. Just when that happened your balcony panel door slid open and you saw Miguel there, surprised to see you awake.

. . .

next part → "But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you,"

₊˚⊹♡₊˚⊹♡₊˚⊹♡₊˚⊹♡₊˚⊹♡₊˚⊹♡₊˚⊹♡₊˚⊹♡₊˚⊹♡₊˚⊹♡₊˚⊹♡₊˚⊹♡ ₊˚⊹

taglist: @lilscast @lazyjellyfish300 @safixiovi @saaaaaaaaaaaamiiiiiiiiiiira @aktenati @vera4luv @skylertully @boringpersonality @ce3stvu @synamonthy @straw-berry-ghoul @holachaoholachoa

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spicyspiders · 3 months

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Can you do a smutty lil fic with m reader who has thighs so thicckqq that the pants they where cause rashes? I’m struggling myself and it kinda sounds weird. With konig pls. Don’t need to reply

Why'd you type thick like that?😭Also, I hope you don't mind but I switched the story up a bit and made it so that the reader wears a tight uniform on missions, but out of uniform they started wearing shorts and their thighs distract König.

"König," you said after you entered your room, trying to keep your voice calm and steady. You were used to König being a little strange, hell, everyone on base was a little strange, but it's been days.

König's head snaps up from the book he was reading to look in your direction. It wasn't strange for the man to be reading a book, but what was was how many times you'd caught him looking at your thighs. You didn't mind him looking at your body, but you found it suspicious how quickly he would look away, like he was afraid of being caught.

"Yes?" He asked as he closed the book and placed it beside him. His voice was small. You hated when he sounded like that, you always wanted to make sure the man was okay.

"You're acting strange."

"I am?" He asked, his eyes going down to look at the skin on display from your shorts. You let out a huff when his eyes went back to your face, and his eyes went wide.

"You are. What's wrong?" You asked as you sat down beside him.

He was quiet for what felt like a long time before he answered with a question of his own, "why're you wearing those?" He asked, gesturing to your shorts. He put a hand out like he was going to touch them, but caught himself before he quickly pulled it away.

"My shorts?" You asked, looking down at them.

"They are distracting."

"My shorts?" You questioned, before letting out a laugh of disbelief. "My shorts are distracting?"

"No!" He answers, frustrated. His hands were balled at his sides, and you quickly picked up on where his frustration stemmed from: himself.

"Hey," you said softly, "it's okay," you placed a hand down onto his in comfort. You waited for him to find the words he actually meant as you ran your fingers along his hand.

König didn't speak until his hands relaxed, "your body distracts me. Your thighs."

It only took a few seconds for it all to connect. You normally wore sweatpants and a shirt to relax around the base after missions. For the past few days, however, you instead wore a pair of shorts to keep your body cool, fearful of a head rash breaking out over your body. There wasn't much you could do about your uniform, but you at least could control what you wore out of it.

"You don't need to hide from looking at them," you said. You took one of his hands and placed it right at the edge of your shorts in the middle of your thighs. "I don't wear them to distract you," smirking as König blushed, "but you can touch them all you want."

"All I want?" König questioned, looking up at you in awe as you sat up on your knees.

"All you want," you whisper.

König pulls your shorts down slowly before he leans down onto his forearm. His warm breath puffs onto your skin, which felt much more sensitive after you decided to shave certain areas of your body would help keep away the heat. You weren't sure if it actually helped yet, but it damn sure felt good when König ran his tongue along your smooth skin.

His tongue runs along your skin, getting it wet with his spit. It almost feels like the water from the shower you were just in, but this one was much more enjoyable, if also a little gross with all of the spit.

You gasp when König adds his teeth into the mix to bite marks into your skin. Your cock had already begun to fatten up from his tongue, but with the added pleasure of his teeth, your cock had grown fully hard. It bobbed in the air, hard and angry for König to take care of.

"Good boy," you murmured down at the man as he took your cock into the wet cavern of his mouth. Your eyes flicked down to the bulge in his pants, before they went back to watch the ways König's lips stretched around your cock.

You made a note in your head to get König a pair of shorts that matched your own and to see how distracting they actually were. You just hoped you could remember to do so as your mind went blank from the pleasure König's mouth brought ran through your body.

#x male reader #x male reader smut #könig x male reader smut #könig x male reader #könig x reader

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waggledoogledoggle · 5 months

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⚠️Spoilers for Hazbin ep 4⚠️

⚠️Also, this post will talk about Abuse and SA, it is briefly mentioned a few times throughout the rest of this… whole long thingy I wrote⚠️

⚠️Also, brief mention of the scene where someone tried to drug Angel⚠️

Ok, I am just genuinely baffled at the people who somehow find a way to hate on 'Loser, Baby'.

Like, if you don't like Huskerdust that's fine... but 'Loser, Baby' is not overshadowing/brushing off Angel's SA. It's not victim blaming. And it's not Husk telling Angel to just shut up and get over it.

Like I've seen it so much, and you know what? Fuck it. Welcome to my TedTalk on why it's not all of those things.

For starters: Husk doesn't know about Angel's SA

When Angel has his vulnerable outburst (Side note, props to Blake I mean, they said 'take 5' he heard 'change lives') he talks about how he feels like he has to act the way he does to keep Valentino happy because he stupidly sold his soul to him. That he wants to get drugged up because that’s his escape. That he wants to be broken because maybe, just maybe Val will let him go. He wants to be free, but he can't and he has no one to blame but himself.

"What's the worst part of this hell, I can only blame myself" is literally the pre chorus to his song (Poison), and that is what he shares with Husk.

Not once does he bring up his abuse or SA. If he did, do you think a song would have even happened? Look how Husk reacted when someone tried to drug Angel's drink! Now that Husk actually genuinely cares about him? Dead. Dead. Valentino would be dead.

Us knowing about Angels situation in full is dramatic irony which is, essentially, we as the audience know more/are given more insight than the other characters. We were given the insight of Angel's true trauma that he deals with on the daily. Husk and the rest of the Hotel were not and have no idea what he deals with, the only one that even has an inkling is Charlie and even then we still know WAY more about Angel’s situation than her, so you can't really get upset at Husk for not knowing something he would have no way of knowing unless Angel shared it with him directly.

Moving onto the song itself, it's a song of empathy.

Allow me to explain.

Husk pinpoints perfectly what Angel is feeling in this moment:

"So things look bad, and your back's against the wall Your whole existence seems fuckin' hopeless You're feelin' filthy as a dive bar bathroom stall Can't face the world sober and dopeless You've lost your way, you think your life is wrecked"

When Husk starts singing, you can tell that Angel is expecting Husk to pull the whole "But that's not true! It's not hopeless! You're life's not wrecked!" and is very surprised when Husk doesn't.

Instead, Husks says "Yeah. You're right." And this is when a lot of the haters get angry- but hold on a second.

When someone is feeling all of those things, saying things like "That's not true! You'll be ok!" aren't helpful at all. That's brushing it off. Even if it may be true, that doesn't help anyone when they're feeling like hopeless, lost, losers.

Because that's sympathy, not empathy. Sympathy is feeling for someone, and trying to make them feel better. Empathy, is not trying to make them feel any certain way- better or worse- empathy is simply feeling with someone. And that's what Husk does.

During the first chorus, Husk is clearly teasing Angel a bit while doing so, but not without good reason. It's keeping Angel from closing back up again, he's being a little bit silly with him and teasing him. I mean, did you see the silly lil walk he did crossing in front of Angel? And Angel is super confused because he's like "how tf is this supposed to make me feel better??"

That's the thing. It's not. That's sympathy's job, not empathy's. Empathy just want's you to feel felt with, it doesn't want to tell you how to feel. And adding that bit of silliness gives Angel's vulnerability a chance to breathe and it prevents Angel from closing in on himself.

The next verse, pre-chorus, and chorus is when the empathy though really kicks in.

The next verse, is the first part of empathy: Sharing about a similar experience you went through.

In this verse, now that Angel is listening not just hearing, Husk shares that he has been gruesomely damaged. Calling back to what he shared literally seconds before the song. That he knows what it's like to sign away your soul, and constantly look back at it with huge amounts of regret. That knowing that moment is what turned him into the mess he is today, and that he has no one to blame but himself. Just like Angel.

Then in the pre-chorus where there's the whole:

"I sold my soul to a psychopathic freak Haha! And you think that makes you unique? Get outta here, man!"

That isn't Husk telling Angel to get over himself and this isn’t him undermining what Angel’s been through. That's him saying 'I did too, you're not alone’

And then the very simple word change from "you're" to "we're" in the chorus is SO FREAKING HUGE. Because Husk is essentially saying "You feel like a total loser right now. Ok. Then if what happened to you/what you went through makes you a loser, then I'm a loser too. Let's be loser's together." Instead of trying to make Angel stop feeling like he's a hopeless loser, he decides that he is too.

He meets Angel where he is.

Aka: ✨empathy✨

Angel finally feels seen, understood, felt with. All the goals of empathy. He no longer feels alone in what he is struggling with, which is HUGE! Especially for people going through/dealing with SA and abuse.

The bridge of the song, is also extremely important, because this is where they acknowledge the differences in what they're going through. Their root problem is the same, but how it messed up their lives and created the problems they deal with now are completely different

And that's around when the song begins to shift from just Husk showing empathy and comforting Angel, to them both finding comfort in each other.

Which you can clearly see by the chorus under the umbrella, where it's not just one of them singing the chorus, but it's both of them. Because they have found a place to go to and confide in, a place of comfort, with each other.

Like, I am genuinely concerned that people find this song toxic like... have- have you never experienced empathy before? Are you ok?

So yeah, to wrap this up, if you don’t like ‘Loser, Baby’ just because you don’t like the song in general? That’s fine (odd, but fine)

But if you hate it because it “undermines Angel’s experience and what he goes through” I…

words.

Thank you for coming to my TedTalk

#Welp #ADHD stole my phone again #I’m so normal about them #the songs been out for a day how the hell have I analyzed it this much already tf #hazbin hotel angel dust #hazbin hotel husk #huskerdust #hazbin hotel #HH #HH spoilers #hazbin hotel spoilers

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norman-fucking-reedus · 4 months

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I'd hate myself if I didn't do something for Valentine's day so we're going to pretend it's not the day after!!! 🎀🎀

If nobody else is gonna bring back smoking during sex then goddamn it I will

STAINED RED

Valentines day with Daryl Dixon, your own way.

Happy Valentines Day - D.D

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

You hummed to yourself as your hands brushed and curled your hair, making sure it looked just right for the night ahead. It was Valentine's day and you so badly wanted to celebrate it with Daryl, which is why you had planned the romantic night the day that Eugene had made the announcement that the holiday was in a week. It gave you enough time to find and decide on what to get him, stumbling upon a department store on one of your secret runs.

The first half of his gift was a red button-up to match the other half, which was the skimpy party dress you had on, one you knew would drive him insane. You also made him a card with crayons, considering the two of you didn't talk much about gifts.

Standing in front of the full body mirror, running your hands down your sides as you turned around, checking yourself out. The way the dress hugged your hips, complimented by the heels you had on, fuck you turning yourself on.

The oven timer went off downstairs, and you quickly dragged some lipstick over your plush lips, a dark red in contrast to the lighter fabric. Your heels clicked against the hardwood floor as you carefully went down the stairs, grabbing the oven mitt and opening the oven, poking the meat with a knife.

Daryl was supposed to be coming any minute, agreeing to get ready at Carol's house so the two of you would keep your clothes on.

The table was already set and the scent from some of the candles set a warm ambiance, the added smell of cooked venison. You cut the meat into slices, plating the thick pieces next to some mixed vegetables and a scoop of mashed potatoes, topped with brown gravy.

You poured two cups of wine and tuned the ratty radio until it landed on a smooth jazz station. As you did that, the front door creaked open and you turned to see Daryl, heart pounding as he looked so damn good in red. "Hot damn girl" He whispered breathlessly, closing the door behind him as he stepped forward, placing a hand on your waist as his eyes raked your whole body. "Could say the same for you, handsome" You giggled and Daryl's heartbeat stopped for a second, your smile standing out much more with the lipstick. "What'cha hidin?" Your eyes flickered down to his one hand behind his back. He smirked and revealed a large black bag.

He handed it to you silently, watching your face contort as you opened it and were hit with an intense smell of weed, the smell immediately filling the room. "Where did you-?" You walked over to the counter and pulled a sticky bud out, heels clacking as you fished around for something to smoke with. "I still wanted ta get ya some flowers, but I found flower instead" Daryl eyed the plates of food but moved his gaze up to your figure, licking his lips as he once again drank in the sight of you in that dress.

The feeling of rolling the bud pieces into a thin piece of paper was one you truly missed, dragging your tongue across the edge and pinching it shut, turning to Daryl with the newly rolled joint hanging from your lips. He fished out the lighter that he always kept on him and held your hip as he held it, watching you take a deep, long pull before plucking it out your mouth, coming close to Daryl as if to kiss him, blowing the smoke past his parted lips then holding the joint up to them.

"The food is getting cold" You whispered, watching him take a long drag of his own before pulling the joint away, the dining room becoming hazy with smoke. "Microwave 'em real quick" Daryl mumbled, taking another hit before you snatched it out his mouth, sticking it in your own and turning to heat the food up. "Sit down, Dixon" You slammed the microwave door shut and started it for a few minutes, heels clicking as you walked over to Daryl and straddled his lap, taking a finally hit before dropping the butt onto the floor, stomping it out as you pulled Daryl by his collar and clashed your lips together, exhaling the smoke into his mouth along with the air, kissing his jaw and neck as he coughed. "Ya smearin' yer lipstick" Daryl cleared his throat as you looked at him, dark lipstick in fact smeared onto your cheek. It was worth it, considering Daryl's skin was littered in red kiss marks.

You gave him one final kiss, going to retrieve the plates of food out the microwave. As the weed was really starting to flow through your system, your stomach rumbled as the smell of meat filled the air again, not strong enough to over power the joint.

Daryl wondered how he got so lucky with you each time he ate your food, the taste even better with his heightened senses. "M'gon marry you" He spoke around a mouthful of potatoes, staring at you with lidded reddening eyes. You leaned your head against your hand as you ran your heel up his shin. "Dude, we're like, already married" You laughed while finishing off your vegetables, stuffing a piece of venison into your mouth. Your heel kicked his shin, trailing up it a few time before Daryl reached and blindly yanked it, lurching you forward into the table and knocking over the forgotten wine glasses.

“This was supposed to be romantic” You pounded your fists on the table, not actually angry. Daryl shrugged, teeth pulling at a tougher piece of meat. “Still romantic just in our own way. Ya did real good gorgeous” He leaned back in the chair as he winked at you, undoing the first few buttons of that sinful shirt. You suddenly remembered you didn’t have on any underwear, cunt starting to throb. “M’gonna roll another” You gathered the fallen cups and your empty plate as you did, taking Daryl’s and snagging his last piece. He couldn’t argue, not with the way your legs moved and your hips swayed.

Daryl ran a hand through his hair, much curlier and softer since he took a really long shower before coming here, even adding some cologne Carol had mysteriously given him. He thought you hadn’t noticed it, but you did, and you wanted to smell him up close and personally. You become absolutely feral when your man was smelling and looking clean.

You came back with a much bulker and longer joint, once again straddling Daryl’s lap as he brought the lighter to the end, and a hand to your hip.

He watched your blood red lips as they took a deep and somehow sensual pull, so long that a chunk of burnt ash fell from the end, you quickly swatting it out the way so it didn’t land on your husband. You coughed as Daryl plucked the joint from you and brought it to his own lips, eyes lingering on the lipstick stain forming around the filter. He knew there were similar stains forming on his skin, especially as you kissed and sucked at his neck, grinding your hips down in the process.

Daryl leaned his head back as he continued taking drags from the joint, groaning softly as you lavashed his throat, hands drowning in his soft hair. You could feel his bulge right in between your dripping folds, and ground down hair, moaning as your clit rubbed against him. His free hand rested on your hip, roaming up your waist and travel down the swell of your ass, feeling how your tight dress had rode up to reveal your bare cheeks. “Got dessert already waitin’ fer me?” He picked his head up, bringing the joint to your lips as he lifted you onto the table, kneeling in front of you as you spread your legs, which he threw over his shoulders.

A wanton moan came from your chest as Daryl’s tongue was on you instantly, your hand gripping his hair as the other held the joint, occasionally tossing your head back and hitting it, releasing the smoke with a deep pleasured groan. Your whole body buzzed with warmth and fire as Daryl’s tongue worked between your folds, slipping into your hole before pulling out and moving to lap at your clit once more. His own cock throbbed and pulsated in his pants, the taste of your cunt so much sweeter on his high tastebuds.

He licked and slurped at your folds as if he hadn’t eaten minutes prior, tongue coming up to your clit only to suction his lips around it, beginning to suck as his fingers came to tease your folds.

You whimpered as the thick digits slid in, roach of a joint pinched tightly between your fingers. Your eyes rolled back as Daryl started to thrust and curl his fingers slowly but steadily, sending fire through your body. It felt so good but you just needed more, yanking Daryl’s head back. “Bend me over this goddamn table” You said more breathlessly than intended, jerking slightly when Daryl pulled his fingers out and rose to his feet, hovering over you and pressed his cock against your still stimulated cunt. “Yes ma’am” He whispered deep from his chest as he softly kissed you, pushing you to lean further back as he freed his hard cock, groaning into each other’s mouth when the tip slapped against your clit. His hand dragged the head between your folds, not wasting anytime as he fully rammed himself inside, your jaw going slack as it knocked the wind out you.

Daryl readjusted your legs on his hips, slowly rocking before quickly building speed, a deep moan in your chest as his cock easily thrusted into your sweet spot, each one getting increasingly quicker. “Oh God baby just like that” You dropped your head down to shut your eyes, but they caught on where Daryl was sliding in and out of you. He leaned his head against yours to watch as well, hands groping your waist. “M’gonna fuck yer brain out” You bit your lips and gripped the back of his neck. “That’s all I want you to do”

At those words, he pulled away from you suddenly, throbbing cunt clenching desperately around nothing until Daryl flipped you onto your stomch, collecting your curled hair into a sloppy hand held ponytail and yanking you back onto his cock, sliding so so much deeper than before, resuming his pace at higher velocity, moans beginning to uncontrollably fall from your smeared lips. “My lil valentine all nice ‘nd stuffed, gonna give ya lottas cum, kay?” Daryl’s words were going straight to his dick and into your cunt, eyes rolling into the back of your goddamn skull when he yanked you back by the hair, hand releasing the strands only to wrap around your throat, each strangle gasp and cry vibrated under his palm. He really could snap your delicate neck, not that he would but fuck if you wouldn’t let him.

He leaned down so that you could be flush against his chest, other hand grabbing your hip and occasionally sliding up to the bunched up fabric of your dress. He kept his hand comfortably tight around you, kissing and licking your bare shoulders. His hips sped up as he continued marking your skin, groping you hip as the hand around your throat tighten. You knew he was close, and you were almost off the edge yourself, so close, so close until you were toppling over, broken and choked moans coming from your lips. Daryl’s hips slowed to a stop, and he moved to release your throat but was stopped by your hand. “What happened to ‘lotts of cum’? I want my guts scrambled all night, Mr.Dixon” You turned to him and pouted, clenching around his still hard cock. He hummed, before pulling out and once again flipping you over, only you yelped as he fell down onto the seat with you in his grasp, fully seating you down onto his cock. “Ride me, gorgeous” Daryl gripped your hips, smiling up at you as curls fell into his face. His cheeks, jaw and lips all adorned dark red smooch marks, along with his neck and the hickies sucked into the skin.

Your man was just too fucking fine, gripping his face and licking into his mouth, beginning to bounce as he happily allowed you entrance, tongues pressing against one another as you slid your finger tips into his hair, heels firmly on the ground as your hips increased their pace. You pulled away from Daryl, a string of saliva still connecting your lips before your head lulled to the side, hand eagerly tugging your straps off and grabbing your tits, lewding moaning as you squeezed and pinched your nipples, grinding down and bouncing harder down.

One of your hands slid down and began rubbing circles in your clit. With the hand still rolling your boob, you grabbed Daryl’s face and shove it between your squishy tits, wildly moaning as you stimulated your whole cunt, cock hitting such a soft and sensitive spot inside you. “Love when ya take control ta get wha’ ya want” Daryl mumbled into the soft skin of your breasts, bringing the one your fingers pulled at into his mouth, feeling the way you convulsed around him, moaning as your hips stuttered and head dropped against Daryl’s shoulder. Your hand pulled from your sensitive cunt, however you stayed seat on Daryl’s cock.

It was quiet for a few moments, before your lips were trailing the side of his jaw. “Still not done, woman?” Daryl ran his hands up your side, rolling his hips up into you. “Nope. Carry me into the bedroom. Bring my weed” You giggled against him, legs wrapping around him when he rose to his feet, cock still buried deep inside. “Happy Valentines day m’beloved” He whispered taking only a few steps before pinning you against a wall, unleashing an attack on your neck as he started to move his hips, smiling softly against your skin as he did. You were in for a long, long night.

｡･:*:･ﾟ★｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★

#daryl dixon #daryl fanfiction #daryl x reader #the walking dead #the walking dead daryl #daryl x female reader #norman fucking reedus #twd #daryl dixion imagine #daryl dixion smut #daryl x you #daryl dixon fanfic #daryl imagines #twd daryl #daryl x y/n

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therealmrsgojo · 4 months

Text

Valentines special (Gojo Satoru x Reader)

Hi, everyone! Posting my personal favorite snippet on my fic I'd lie! you can click the link if you want to read the full version of it. summary: first time meeting itadori yuji, as gojo satoru's wife! warnings: canon-compliant, pregnant reader and drunk-in-love gojo.

15th of August, 2018

You find yourself in the kitchen, humming softly to the music playing in the background. The aroma of the spices and herbs fills the air as you chop the vegetables for tonight's dinner.

A small smile adorns your lips as you hear the servants of your home offer to do the chopping instead. "No, thank you. I find myself enjoying these lately," you politely decline.

The servants bow to you in return, watching in admiration, their eyes fixed on the elegant and glowing woman in front of them, the head wife of the Gojo clan.

As you continue your tasks, your phone rings, breaking your concentration. You wipe your hands on the tablecloth and answer the phone.

"How's my pretty wife doing, hm?" Satoru's voice greets you from the other end of the line.

"I'm doing well," you reply, looking back at the pot and stirring its contents. "I'm cooking our favorite dish. It's almost done, honey."

"Shouldn't you be resting?" Satoru's voice inquires with concern. "You just got off from work. If you're going to do the cooking instead of letting the helpers do it, why don't you quit your job for now and just wait for me every day with your pretty little face?"

"That's not going to happen, Gojo Satoru," your tone was stern and resolute. You continued by confessing, "I hate doing nothing. Simple things like cooking make me happy." He could hear the passion in your voice as you spoke about your newfound love for cooking.

On the other end of the line, he sighed deeply, realizing he couldn't argue with you. He knew that you were a determined and independent person and that it was hard to change once you set your mind on something.

Imagining your pouty lips, pleading eyes, and even a soft, simple "please" from you would make his knees buckle in defeat. He, the strongest sorcerer, was no match for you.

"And also, I wanted to give you a heads up that Megumi will be joining us for dinner tonight," he said, pausing a moment before adding, "Oh, and a new student of mine, too, if that's alright with you."

"Of course it's okay," you replied with a smile, "I appreciate you telling me beforehand so I can prepare. Do you remember the last time you brought Maki, Panda, Yuuta, and Megumi all at once? I was caught off guard and unprepared."

"I remember. Especially how you didn't kiss me for a whole day afterward because you were so upset." Satoru laughed, adding, "We'll be there soon. Love you ~ "

As the call ended, you turned to one of the servants standing nearby, ready to assist you at a moment's notice.

"Hana, please prepare some guest rooms for tonight," you said, trying to keep the excitement out of your voice. "We might need them later for our visitors. Thank you." You patted her shoulder, seeing her nod, before she turned around to follow your orders.

After your engagement, the wedding came soon after, taking place a few months later. You and Satoru had decided to have a simple ceremony with only the most important people in your lives present. You wanted to honor the traditions of the Gojo clan that had fascinated you since you first met Satoru.

Following your honeymoon, you were named the new head wife of the Gojo clan. Satoru's parents had decided to move out, passing on the responsibility of running the family estate to you and your husband. This was a significant moment for you both, as it was a tradition that had been passed down through generations.

The other servants had kindly taken care of wrapping up your cooking and set the table for dinner. You stood in the kitchen, washing your hands; you couldn't help but feel satisfied with your small accomplishment.

Lost in thought, you suddenly felt a pair of soft hands tenderly caressing your stomach, a body pressing up against your back, and nose slowly breathing in the scent of your neck. The unexpected touch sends a shiver down your spine, but you quickly recognize the familiar touch of your husband.

As you turned around, you saw your husband's warm smile that lit up his face. He quickly bent down to one knee and nuzzled his face into your stomach, murmuring, "I missed the both of you." You laughed at his affectionate gesture as you lovingly caressed his hair in response.

"I'm not sure they can hear you yet, love," you conveyed with a gentle smile. "I'm just barely two months pregnant, 'Toru."

Your husband looked up at you with a pout on his face, making you giggle like a teenager. He then stood up, took your face in his hands, and pressed soft kisses to your forehead, nose, and lips. The warmth of his embrace and his scent enveloped you completely.

He then turned to you and said, "Hi, my wife," looking at your face with a loving gaze, as if he was seeing you for the hundredth time but still couldn't get enough of you.

You both heard voices from the dining room, and your husband took your hand, pulling you and leading you toward the two students you had been expecting.

As you entered the room, a pink-haired boy with a curious look on his face muttered, "Wow, it's so big here, Fushiguro," his eyes scanned the delicate features around the room in amazement.

"(Y/N)-san," Megumi noticed you first and walked towards you with a small smile. You embraced him, feeling happy to see him doing well, patting his back and giving him a quick peck on the cheek before letting go. "How are you, Megumi?" you asked him.

"I'm doing well, thank you, for all that food you sent to the dorms, too," he replied, his cheeks turning slightly red at your affection.

As you stood there, your husband caressed your hair and introduced you to the other student. "Yuji, this is my wife (Y/N)," he said, turning towards the boy staring at you in awe, his mouth slightly apart.

"Itadori Yuji, nice to meet you," he said, bowing profoundly and complimenting you on your beauty that made you and your husband laugh.

"Nice to meet you too, Yuji. Let's go eat now, shall we?" you said softly, patting his shoulders as you led him to one of the dinner chairs.

The dinner was filled with laughter and stories as you all caught up with each other. You felt happy to see Megumi and Yuji bonding so well, as they were a perfect mix. You also learned about Nobara, another student you wanted to meet soon. As supper ended, every one commended your cooking, and you suggested that the two students stay for the night, offering rooms that were ready for them. They agreed happily.

As you both retired to your quarters, your husband's face was pressed up against your stomach, his hands caressing your hips as he mumbled sweet nothings to your unborn child.

You ran your fingers through his hair, smiling at the sight of the strongest sorcerer alive baby-talking to your pregnant stomach.

"I love you, (Y/N)," Your night was spent tenderly, with sweet words lingering in the air between you and your husband.

The moonlight bore witness as you made love with each other, lost in your own world of passion and intimacy.

Note: Aaaand that's it! Happy hearts day everyone! Thank you for reading this.

"Where we love is home – home that our feet may leave, but not our hearts."

xoxo,

Aurora.

#jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu gojo #jjk gojo #gojo x reader #gojo satoru #satoru gojo #satoru #yuji itadori #megumi fushiguro #jjk satoru #satorugojo #gojo #jujutsu satoru #valentines day #aurora's fics

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reallyromealone · 1 year

Note

Hey how about instead of the s/o being pregnant it's dazai? How would it go? Or just how would omega dazai be in general?

Dazai x male reader

Fluff 🌸 omegaverse

🩷☁️🩷☁️🩷☁️🩷☁️🩷☁️🩷☁️🩷☁️🩷☁️🩷☁️🩷

Clingy.

Dazai was a clingy motherfucker.

His alpha being the assistant and son to Fukuzawa so he was consistently within reach of Dazais clingyness.

The problem came when Dazai found out he was pregnant.

"What do you mean I can't go on the field?!" Dazai seethed "I'm not saying you can't I just don't think it would be good for the pup!" (Name) tried calming his mate,what they did was dangerous and he didn't want his mate in such a delicate position out there.

Dazai wasn't a typical Omega, he used to be an executive in the port mafia after all.

"I am perfectly capable of caring for myself" dazai said with a glare and (name) sighed, the moodswings already full swing as the Omega was fuming, getting up and leaving, the Alpha sighing before cleaning up.

He just wanted him to be safe...

Their pup to be safe.

Work was tense.

(Name) assisting his dad with whatever he needed and trying to not lift his angry mate who was god knows where.

"He wants me off the field!" Dazai seethed as he, Atsushi and Kunikida investigated a suspicious area "well it does... Make sense why he would want you to not be out here" Atsushi said softly and the pregnant Omega looked at him sharply "I have to agree with Atsushi, what we do is incredibly dangerous" Kunikida added and the brunette pouted "he just wants you both to be safe, he never said you couldn't go into the field again"

Dazai hated that he made sense and realized he was harsh on his mate, (name) was just looking out for him and the Alpha always tried to keep calm when dazai came home looking less than stellar.

When Dazai returned home, he smelt his favorite foods and the smell of worry heavy "I'm sorry alpha" Dazai said hugging his alpha from behind and (name) halted "I was being an asshole..."

"Let me worry about you" (name) said turning around and held the Omega close, scenting him and dazai smiled "silly alpha" he teased before kissing him "I'll comply with your wishes but..." Dazai moved to whisper things in the others ear, enjoying his alphas slight blush "shit--" the smell of slight burning broke (name) away as he turned off the food "the foods ruined..." (Name) mumbled sadly and Dazai smiled at his alpha "let's go eat, we can get (food)" dazai offered and (name) rumbled a bit "takeout, I wanna be with my babies"

"So demanding~"

#male reader #omegaverse #bsd x reader #bsd x male reader #bungou stray dogs x male reader #bungou stray dogs x reader #dazai x male reader #dazai x reader

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heartateasee · 4 months

Text

“One”

Word Count: 7.4k

(Part one of “Goodnight and Go”)

⋆★★⋆

Sitting in the extremely overpriced restaurant for my sister Gwen's birthday, I look over to my friend, Kieran, who's to the right of me. I tip my head back in a laugh at something she said as Harry makes his way back to the table after dismissing himself to the bathroom. He and Gwen are seated across from us, and I look over at him with a smile. I can tell that something's been nagging at him all night - the look in his eyes showing that he kept going somewhere else, and wasn't exactly present during conversation.

I kept trying to meet his gaze every now and then, to try to give him some kind of expression to ask what was wrong, but he grew too fidgety for that. Kieran continues to talk to me while I hold my glass with my cocktail in it against my chest, still keeping my sight set on Harry as he takes his seat again - his eyes never meeting mine. His arm drapes over the back of Gwen's chair, and I watch as the tips of his fingers caress the outside of her arm.

Swallowing harshly, I look away from them and back over to Kieran, engaging in our previous conversation as to get my mind off of whatever my best friend could be going through. I knew Gwen had been a bit demanding on how she wanted this birthday dinner to go, considering it was her 30th, and I figured that maybe Harry was just anxious about making sure that everything went the way she hoped. He always hated disappointing her, and he always strived to make sure he did right by her.

But that's who Harry is. He's always a people pleaser - never wanting to upset anyone.

We had already made our way through our meals, and we were all waiting for the dessert to be served. My parents sat on the other side of Gwen, and I watched as my mom continued to gush about her oldest turning 30 - tears springing to her eyes as she went on about it. I had to keep myself from rolling my eyes at that. It wasn't that my parents preferred Gwen over me, but she was definitely more successful than I currently am, and they took every opportunity to brag about her accomplishments.

That's not to say that they aren't proud of me as well, but it's a lot easier to brag about your daughter who's a country renowned interior designer instead of your daughter who's currently finishing up her tattooing apprenticeship. They've had several conversations with me about how they didn't mind the career path I had gone with, but they were a bit disappointed that I had decided to use my art degree on tattooing instead of going into a different field of art.

The only person who really encouraged me to follow my apprenticeship was Harry, which wasn't surprising considering all the ink that adorned his body. I've had the honor of tattooing him a few times, nothing super big, but it meant a lot that he trusted me in that way. Just recently he let me tattoo a bird cage among his ribs, and before that it was an eagle on his forearm. Gwen doesn't mind tattoos, she has a small one herself, but she wasn't super thrilled at the fact that Harry had added to the existing ink on his arms - on display most of the time for others to see.

A few minutes pass before Harry clears his throat and stands from the table again, and I look up to him as his eyes scan over all of us. "Good evening everyone," he says, shoving his hands into the pockets of his dress pants as he looks back over to Gwen. "I just wanted to take a moment to say some words about the birthday girl before our dessert gets here."

Everyone quiets down, and their attention quickly becomes focused on him.

"As you know, Gwen and I have been dating for the past six years, all thanks to the help of my best friend, and her sister, Carter," he gestures his hand over to me as he speaks, and I hope the expression I give him comes off as adoration, and not one of jealousy. "I was introduced to Gwen not too long after Carter and I finished college, and I guess the rest is history."

He looks over at Gwen who's staring up at him with the widest smile, and I can see the love she has for him swirling in her eyes as he continues. "These past six years have been truly the best ones of my life. From the time Gwen and I started dating, we've practically been inseparable, but I guess that's what happens when you just know," he chuckles nervously as he brings a hand up to rub the back of his neck. "She's definitely wrangled me in a bit, because if you had seen me in college, like Carter had, you would know I was a bit wild."

I can't help but let out a giggle at that statement because it was nothing but the truth. Harry and I got into so much trouble during those four years together, and I'm honestly shocked that we even graduated on time with how much we would party.

"It's been such an honor to watch Gwen grow in her career, and to also have her encourage me with mine," Harry was now head of an art gallery, and he works from home mostly. I know he adores his job. "I'm also a little happy that she's turning 30 before me so I can hold that over her head for a bit."

Gwen lets out a loud laugh, reaching out to swat the back of her hand against Harry's stomach playfully - causing him to chuckle. I watch as they hold each other's eyes, and then Harry slips his hand into the front pocket of his blazer.

"With all that being said, Gwen is absolutely the love of my life, and I couldn't imagine going through the rest of this life without her," Harry speaks as he lowers himself onto one knee, holding out a small ring box that he opens up. "So, Gwen Adams, will you marry me?"

Almost instantly the noises around me muffle, and I feel my pulse quicken in its pace. I stare at the scene in front of me, my best friend on his knee in front of my sister, asking her to spend the rest of their lives together.

My best friend. The man I'm utterly in love with.

I can feel that my eyes are wide, and I know my expression is one of complete shock, but my mind cannot find the motions to help me change my face. This was a surprise to say the least. Harry hadn't said a single thing to me about proposing to Gwen, and although the act of it all is painful for me, it's even more painful that he wouldn't even tell me that this is what he was planning.

Was I even his best friend anymore?

I shouldn't be surprised though.

When I introduced Gwen and Harry for the first time, I didn't think anything of their interaction. Harry lived in my parents house with us briefly between finishing college and starting his new job as the apartment he had found couldn't let him move in until August. It was a wonderful summer that consisted of Harry and I lounging around the pool mostly, both of us starting our new jobs in the fall to give us some time off after graduating. We owed it to ourselves because even though we still had fun in college, we absolutely worked our asses off for our degrees.

Never once did I really see Gwen and Harry hanging out, or even speaking without me present when he lived with us. Once Harry moved out, and we both started working, it damaged me a bit. We would go a week or so without seeing each other, and that was so unlike us, but we were both busy.

It was almost two months after Harry's move out that Gwen and I were hanging out in my room one night, both of us on our laptops basically doing nonsense. That was when she first told me that Harry had asked her out on a date, and to say I was shocked would be an understatement. And just like right now, I was shocked that Harry hadn't even said anything to me about them dating.

Sure, I knew that it might be a bit awkward for him to tell me that he had asked my sister on a date, but I thought we were close enough to where we could open in that way. It hurt to have to find out from Gwen, and not Harry himself.

After their first date happened, I stood and watched as their relationship progressed, and I can't even count how many times I laid in my bed those first few months - crying myself to sleep. I had no one to blame myself, and I knew that. Never once did I make Harry aware of what I was feeling towards him. I had been scared to tell him, and I realized it was much too late to do so given that he was involved with my sister.

So I did what any loving sister would do, because I do adore my sister, no matter how much we butt heads. I kept my mouth shut, and I stood alongside them as they figured out their relationship - watching as it blossomed. If the relationship had failed, I wouldn't have hesitated to tell Harry how I felt, not wanting to make the same mistake twice. However, their relationship only grew stronger, and I loved both Harry and my sister so much that I would never impose on what they were creating.

I'm drawn out of my thoughts when I hear Gwen's chair scratch against the ground. "Yes!"

Tears begin to burn in my eyes, and I force a smile on my lips so those around me think they're tears of joy, when truly they're tears of pure confusion. There's a part of me that is so happy for the both of them, but another part of me is devastated. Unless something drastic happens between the two of them, I know this is it.

Every chance I've had at the future I've so helplessly envisioned with Harry is shattered in this very moment.

"No question, Harry, yes," Gwen squeals as she hops up from her seat, wrapping her arms around Harry's neck as he wraps his around her waist - lifting her from the ground to twirl her around.

Once he sets her down, I watch as he slips the ring onto her finger - their lips immediately connecting afterwards.

I join along in the clapping around me once I realize it's happening. I blink, and tears begin to stream down my cheeks. It's evident I need to step away for a moment before I embarrass myself in front of everyone.

Sucking in deep breaths, I push myself up from the table, and I spare no one a second glance as I practically stumble towards the bathrooms. I push myself inside as a sob bellows from my lips - echoing off the tiled walls around me. My hands grip to one of the marbled sinks as I tuck my chin to my chest. I feel as if every part of my body could just give away, and it's all my fault. This is my doing. I have no one to blame but myself for the way I'm feeling.

I lift a hand to slam against the mirror in front of me - shaking my head. There's nothing more I need than to calm myself down. Gwen is someone who can read people like an open book most of the time, and if I go back out looking like a mess she will question me to no end.

Realizing I was very much out in the open in this bathroom, I made my way into one of the stalls - shutting and locking the door behind me. I grabbed some toilet paper and dabbed underneath my eyes to try and dry up my tears without smearing my makeup around.

I didn't even hear the door to the bathroom open until I heard my name. "Carter?"

Instantly I recognize the voice as Kieran, and I bite down on my bottom lip to try and swallow down some of the sadness in my voice before answering. "I'll be out in just a minute."

I look down to see that Kieran is now standing in front of my stall.

"I can tell you're crying. Please, open the door and let me in."

Sighing, I unlock the stall door, and I swing it open to see Kieran with a frown already on her face. She opens up her arms, and walks forward as if she wants to hug me, but I quickly put one of my hands up to stop her.

"Don't," I whisper, shaking my head. "If you hug me right now I'll lose it completely, and then I'll have to go home."

Kieran drops her arms with a nod. "I understand. I just hate seeing you like this, and I know what just happened out there is crushing you."

"He didn't even tell me, K," my bottom lip trembles as I speak. "Why wouldn't he tell me?"

"I-I don't know. I don't know why-"

"And my parents didn't mention it either, and I know Harry would have asked my dad for permission before proposing. I don't understand," I can feel myself getting worked up again, but I can't stop. "This is really it. No turning back now for either of them. It's final."

"No, not yet," Kieran says, reaching out to take my hand that wasn't holding onto toilet tissue. "Carter, I know you've never wanted to tell him how you feel, but if you don't do it soon, you'll never be able to. I think you owe it to yourself with how long you've kept it inside to tell him before it really is final."

"That's selfish," I state firmly. "I can't do that to Harry, or to Gwen."

"It might be selfish, yes, but you deserve to be a little selfish every once and a while. I know it's dangerous considering it's your sister, and he's your best friend, but I think you'll regret it in the long run if you never tell him."

Silence takes over, and I feel Kieran rubbing her thumb against the back of my hand. "I need to get back out there," I say, and I move around her to exit the stall.

Standing in front of the mirror, I fix my hair up a little bit, and then I run the tissue underneath my eyes to clean up the mascara that had gathered there. My eyes are red, and it'll be obvious that I was crying, but everyone out there is currently crying due to this engagement. I'm hoping it'll just look like that's what happened to me as well, and that they're not tears of absolute devastation.

"I'm not going to force you to do anything, obviously I can't," Kieran places her hand on my back. "But definitely think it over, alright? It's Harry, and you've known him for how long now? Nine years? Almost ten? I think that he would want you to be honest with him."

I breathe out a shaky sigh as I pull my sheer lip gloss out of the pocket of my dress, running the applicator over my lips. "What if he tells her though? I wouldn't blame him for telling her either, but she'll lose it. I probably wouldn't be invited to the wedding anymore. She would more than likely keep me from seeing him in general."

"I don't think he'd tell her if you asked him not to," Kieran's voice is soft as she speaks to me, and I meet her eyes in the mirror. "I know you guys may have drifted apart just a little bit, but he's still Harry. He cares about you enough to separate some things when it comes to you and Gwen."

I know that if I continue to keep talking about this now that there's no way I'll be able to go back out there and look presentable. "I'll see you at the table, okay?"

Looking away from Kieran, I begin to wash my hands in the sink, focusing on taking deep breaths to keep myself as calm as possible. I see the door to the bathroom open out of my peripheral and I know that she's left me. I pull my hands out from under the running water, having them quiver as I grab a few paper-towels to dry them off.

I take one last look in the mirror before giving myself a nod. My heart pounds as I make my way back to the table, and I see that my mom is holding Gwen's hand in hers - completely making over the ring while Harry is talking to my dad. Sitting myself back down, I can see that Kieran is keeping her sights on me as I gulp down the rest of my cocktail that was extremely watered down by now. It didn't seem like too many people noticed my absence, thankfully, and I left and came back practically undetected.

The wait staff comes back out with the trays of dessert, and Gwen and Harry take their seats again as they begin to put them down onto the tables in front of us.

"Excuse me," I speak up as the one waiter who had been taking care of our table specifically tonight places my cheesecake in front of me. "Would it be possible for me to have another cocktail and a shot of silver Casamigos, please?"

He gives me a nod and continues to serve the desserts to the others, and I hear Gwen let out a laugh.

"You're not going to order me a shot for my birthday or to, I don't know, celebrate my engagement, Carter?"

I look over to her, and I immediately feel Kieran's hand giving my knee a squeeze underneath the table.

"You don't like tequila," I speak up, and I can feel Harry's eyes burning into the side of my face as I stare at my sister. "Besides, you're usually not one for shots either."

Gwen rolls her eyes and leans over to whisper something into Harry's ear. He looks over to her with a nod, and he too grabs our waiter before he's able to walk away from the table. "Can we have two shots of Fireball whenever you get a chance, please?"

Now I'm the one who wants to let out a laugh when I hear Harry order shots of Fireball. He absolutely despises it, and I've known that since the first party we attended together. He's always been a tequila guy when it came to shots. Fuck, he was the reason that I even started to drink tequila. He told me that over time that I'd get used to it, and he was right - now it's the only thing I can take shots of.

"Congratulations, by the way," I say, but I'm no longer looking at Gwen.

I'm looking directly at Harry as his dark sage eyes meet mine. He lets them hang there for a minute before he looks away. It's obvious he's feeling some sort of shame for keeping this from me.

"Thanks, Carter," Gwen answers for both of them as we begin to dig into our desserts.

It's only a few minutes later when the waiter comes and drops off a fresh cocktail for me, as well as the shots that we had ordered. As much as I want to just gulp this shot down by myself, I know that I need to do something so I don't keep making myself seem so obvious.

I take in a deep breath as I remove my napkin from my lap, and I stand. I'm holding my shot in my hand, and it's not until I tap my knife lightly against my glass that I capture everyone's attention.

"Hi, good evening," I huff out a nervous laugh as the conversation starts to die down, and I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear with my freehand. "As you all know, I'm Carter, Gwen's little sister, and I'm also one of Harry's best friends-"

"My best friend," Harry interrupts, and I look down at him for a moment. His face holds a tenderness that I know is caused by the mixed feelings he's been seeming to battle all evening, and as much as I want to continue to be angry with him, I can't help but send him a smile.

"Sorry, Harry's best friend," I giggle, causing others to laugh around the table as well. "And I just want to say that I'm extremely proud of the successes that Gwen has been able to accomplish over these last few years. Not everyone can say that their sister is an interior designer that's known nationwide, am I right?

"But on top of that, I've obviously been around for Gwen and Harry's relationship from the beginning, having introduced the two of them, and it's been such a joy watching their relationship flourish," the words feel like acid on my tongue as they fall from my mouth, but I keep up my charade. I have to - not only for them, but also for me. "It'll be nothing but beautiful to watch the two of you grow even further together, now for the rest of your lives. Cheers to you both, and happy birthday, Gwen!"

I lift my shot in the air, Gwen and Harry lifting theirs as well as everyone around us lifts their glasses in celebration. The burn of the clear liquor causes me to cough a bit once I swallow, and I set my empty shot glass back down onto the table. I take my seat back down next to Kieran who turns to me with a smile.

"That was really nice, Car," she whispers, taking her hand in mine - rubbing the pad of her thumb against the back of it. "I know they both appreciated it."

Kieran has been one of my best friends since ninth grade, and she was the first person from back home to actually meet Harry when she came to visit me for a weekend when I was in college. She tried to tell me back then that I had feelings for Harry, and I vehemently denied it, but I knew that deep down she was right. I hadn't even realized myself really when she brought it up.

Of course, Harry and Kieran hit it off right away. Harry is always so good with new people - something that I've struggled with, but he's actually helped me a lot these last few years when it comes to coming out of my shell more.

"I had to say something," I say lowly. "Gwen would never let me hear the end of it if I didn't say something about it being her birthday, and now her engagement day."

The rest of the night continues, and before I know it, we're all getting up and heading out of the restaurant. Kieran had already slipped out earlier as she had to get up early for work tomorrow, so I was pretty much on my own for the last thirty minutes of dinner.

We begin to say our goodbyes, and after I hug my parents, I head over to Gwen and Harry.

"Thanks for your speech, sis. It was sweet," Gwen says as she hugs me, planting a kiss to my cheek before she walks over to one of her friends. I can hear them behind me squealing, and I know they're probably fawning over her ring.

Harry has his hands tucked in his pockets as he walks closer to me, sending me a soft smile.

"So you're marrying my sister, huh?" I ask, tilting my head to the side. "I definitely wasn't expecting you to pop the question tonight."

"I honestly wasn't really either," he shrugs, licking over his bottom lip. "I just asked your dad last week, and got the ring a couple of days ago. It had been something that I had been thinking about for a while, but I didn't know when I wanted to do it. I figured tonight was good considering a lot of the people who care most about her would be here."

Well, at least he didn't have this planned for months without telling me.

I hum in response, giving him a small nod before looking out to the parking lot to see if my Uber that I had ordered myself was approaching or not.

"I wanted to tell you about it too. I promise, Carter," Harry continues, and I look back over to him to see his sage eyes pleading with me to believe him. "I'm not going to lie though...it kind of slipped my mind with how chaotic planning got for tonight overall."

His words can't help but feel like a stab to my heart. So he just forgot about me?

"Don't worry about it," I say, clipping my words slightly. I want him to know that I'm upset.

Harry's eyebrows narrow at the tone I'm using, and I turn my attention back to the parking lot when I hear rocks crunching near the sidewalk. I clear my throat and tilt my head towards the car. "That's me."

Harry purses his lips to the side as he walks me over to the car, and he opens the backdoor for me before peering over to the driver. "Who are you here for?"

I try not to let that feeling he gives me swirl in my stomach too much, but knowing that he's always continuing to look after me has the way I feel about him pushing forward. He's always been so adamant about me asking the rideshare about who they're here for, instead of asking them if they're here for me - just in case.

"Carter," the man replies, and Harry gives him a nod.

He looks back down at me, and he quickly wraps his arms around me - bringing me into his body. I suck in a deep breath, getting a noseful of his signature cologne, and I close my eyes. As much as I want to fight it, I hold him back with my hands pressed against his shoulder blades.

"Text me when you get home, okay?" Harry mumbles against the top of my head after planting a kiss against it.

"Okay," I sigh, my voice slightly muffled due to the way I have my cheek squished against his chest.

"And I'm sorry," he whispers. "I want to make it up to you. It was shitty for me not to tell you. Let's find a day to hang out soon, just you and I."

I lift my head up as he does, and I force myself not to get lost in his eyes. "Sure, yeah. We can figure it out tomorrow."

Harry gives me a smile, his bunny teeth just barely peeking out from under his top lip. "Okay."

I reluctantly drop my arms from around him, knowing he's never one to break a hug first, and I slide into the backseat of my Uber. Harry makes sure I have my legs inside before leaning down. "Goodnight, Carter."

"Goodnight, Harry."

Harry shuts the door, and I lay my head back against the headrest as we drive off. I fiddle with the ring on my index finger, spinning it around and around as I replay tonight in my head. A feeling of guilt overwhelms me when I realize that any other normal sibling would be happy that their sister got engaged, but I'm over here in agony - only thinking about how her getting married will also make the man I love completely unattainable.

Not only did it make me feel guilty, it just made me feel gross overall. It's not like Gwen knew how I felt about Harry, so who am I to feel such distaste towards her, and this engagement? It would be different if she knew I was in love with him, but she doesn't. No one but Kieran does, and the only reason why she knows is because it slipped out during a drunk night at a party.

Ironically enough, it was a lot like tonight, and I was crying in the bathroom after witnessing Harry and Gwen make out for the first time on the couch. We were all drunk off of our asses, and that's the reason why I knew Harry was okay with doing that in front of everyone because he's usually very private when it comes to such things.

Kieran had found me in the upstairs bathroom, and she forced her way in and held me on the cold tiled floor as I cried. It was embarrassing to say the least, but she's never judged me for it. I just kept babbling over and over again about how much I loved him, and how I just wish I had told him before he got involved with Gwen.

After I had calmed down enough, Kieran's boyfriend at the time ended up taking us back to her place since he was the DD. We cuddled in her bed all night, and I remember falling asleep to her telling me that one day he'll know that I love him, and that things might end up being different.

That definitely won't be the case now.

We soon arrive outside of my apartment building, and I get out after thanking the driver, heading up to the third floor. I let myself inside, tossing my keys into the small bowl on the table near my door before heading into my bathroom. I immediately remove my contacts, and then take my makeup off with my skincare routine following after. I pull my phone out of the pocket of my dress - shooting Harry a text that I had made it home.

Once in my bedroom, I change out of my dress and into a pair of sleep shorts and a tank top. I sink down into my bed, and I stare at the ceiling as I replay tonight over again in my head. The image of Harry getting down on one knee seems to be burned into the forefront of my mind. It's causing me to feel so conflicted.

I knew it was wrong for me to fantasize that he was getting down on his knee like that for me, instead of my sister, but I couldn't help it. Unfortunately, I had planned out a lot of little life moments in my head with Harry, and an engagement was one of them.

It's like I've been torturing myself throughout all these years by envisioning steps of a relationship that will never happen.

I'm drawn out of my self-inflicted agony when I feel my phone vibrate on the bed next to me. I pick it up, and suck in a deep breath when I see that it's from Harry. I hover my thumb over the notification for a moment before deciding just to go ahead and open his text.

From: Harry

10:57 pm

"Glad to hear it. Gwen and I just got in not too long ago ourselves. She's already knocked out, but what else is new when she lays down after drinking? Haha. Can you let me know your schedule for next week? I want to cook you dinner, and have you come over to mine so we can talk about how I'm a shithead. Maybe then you can let me beg you to please let me still be your friend."

Tears fill my eyes as I read his text, and I let out a small giggle at his words. Even when he knows he's wrong, which rarely is ever the case, he makes it his mission to still make me laugh somehow. I contemplate just leaving the text until morning, and letting him think I fell asleep, but I'd rather go ahead and get this over with tonight.

To: Harry

10:59 pm

"I'm definitely not surprised. You know she falls asleep fast anyway, and adding alcohol just makes it worse. Haha. I'm at the shop Monday-Wednesday all day. and then Saturday during the day. Let me know what day works best for you, and I'll be there."

Only a minute or so passes before his next text comes through.

From: Harry

11:01 pm

"How about Saturday night? I'll make your favorite, or we can be nostalgic and make some cheap ramen and eat massive amounts of junk food like we did back in the day. You choose."

I shake my head at him with a smile, pushing my tears back that were still threatening to fall as I mark his text as 'unread', deciding I'll get back to him in the morning.

Harry and I had dinner together practically every night when we were in college after we grew so close, and most of the time it did just consist of some ramen and bags of chips. He was fortunate enough that he didn't live on campus, and was without a roommate, so he let me crash there a lot considering I hated the roommate I had my second year. He was truly a godsend, and I'm lucky that I just so happened to choose the seat next to him in Biology during the spring semester of my second year.

Trudging down the hallway of the newest building they'd built on our college campus, I realized I was very much lost. I, thankfully, had given myself plenty of time to get to my classes today, so I still had about ten minutes to spare before I really was going to be in deep trouble. I nibbled on my bottom lip nervously as I made my way onto the second floor - my eyes scanning over the numbers.

Finally I found room 206, and when I walked inside, a lot of the seats were already taken. I soon noticed a seat that was open towards the middle of the room, and I made my way over to it. I shrugged my jacket off once I sat, draping it over the back of the seat before I opened up my bag to pull out my textbook and binder for taking notes.

I could feel that the person next to me had their eyes on me, but I chose to ignore them. I wasn't the best at talking to new people, and I didn't want to make a fool of myself by stumbling over words while trying to speak.

"Did you draw those yourself?" I heard them speak up - their voice was deep.

I froze from trying to locate my pen in my bag once I heard them, and I flicked my eyes over to the front of my binder to see some of the sketches that I had done on display for the stranger to see. I had honestly forgotten that I put them in there - doodling was just something I did while trying to pass time between classes, and sometimes I'd just slide them into the front of my binders.

Turning to look over my shoulder, I'm met with big green eyes that were clearly eager in nature. My eyes trailed over his chiseled bone structure, and the fullness of his pink lips. His hair hung just a little ways below his shoulders, and I watched as he lifted a hand to run his fingers through the front of his long curls while gliding his tongue along the inside of his rosy cheek.

"I-I," I cleared my throat to avoid stammering even further while I gathered my thoughts. "I did, yes. Just a hobby of mine."

"Well they're really good. Are you here for art?"

"I am, actually," I nodded, looking back down into my bag to continue rummaging through it.

"Here," I looked back over to see a pen now placed on the top of my textbook, and I looked over to the stranger with my brows pinched together on my forehead.

"But then you won't-"

I stopped speaking as he gave me a small smirk, placing another pen down in front of him. "No worries, love. I've got a spare."

Closing up my bag, I set it down on the floor as I sat up properly in my chair, but I turned to face the man. "Well, thank you. I do appreciate it."

"Again, it's no worries," he smiled as he held out his large hand, and I saw that it was adorned with many rings, as well as a cross tattoo on the back of it - between his thumb and index finger. "I'm Harry, by the way."

"Carter," I replied as I slipped my hand into his.

It was so soft, and his smile grew wider as he gave my hand a nice shake. "Nice to meet you, Carter."

We were soon interrupted by the professor walking into the room before they started up their lecture. I could see Harry stealing glances at me every now and then throughout the class, and soon I saw him move his notebook to sit between the two of us. I looked down, and I saw that he had written a little note.

"He sounds a little like Kermit the Frog, don't you think?"

I had to quickly clamp my hand over my mouth, and I disguised my laughter as a cough as Harry pursed his lips. He rolled them slightly over to the side while doing his best to not draw attention to us, but I could tell he was holding his laughter back too.

Once I got a hold of myself, I grabbed my own notebook - writing him a note back before moving it to lay next to his.

"Definitely. Do you think he'll give us a performance of 'Rainbow Connection' if we ask nicely?"

This time Harry was the one that had to move quickly to stifle his laughter, bringing his fist up to cover his lips that were fighting off a large smile. We glanced at each other quickly before looking back up to the board to focus on the professor.

Once class was over, I started to pack up my things, and I almost dropped Harry's pen into my bag before remembering that it wasn't mine.

"Oh, here," I said, extending it out to him as he stood up from his seat.

A smirk planted itself on his face as he shook his head. "Keep it. I've got plenty."

I just nodded, standing up myself - draping the strap of my bag over my shoulder.

"I'll see you around, Carter."

After that day, Harry and I would talk a lot in class, but it wasn't until the first group project where we decided to buddy up that our friendship truly started. We both were taking the class as an elective, so even though we took it seriously, we still had a lot of fun. We were attached at the hip, and a lot of people thought we were a couple, but we dismissed those rumors on the spot.

I didn't realize just how I felt about Harry then myself, so I didn't feel like I was lying or hiding anything by denying those claims.

He was the friend who took me to my first college party, my first bar when I turned twenty-one, and also accompanied me on several tattoo and piercing journeys. Harry is just that friend that you want around you all the time. The guy that you could never get sick of to matter how much time you spent together. I can remember the time that I realized that I did have such strong feelings for him - feelings that measured beyond a simple friendship on my end.

It terrified me at first, and I actually shut myself away from him for almost two weeks because I felt so overwhelmed.

We had gone to a formal, each of us being asked by other people to go, and I had to give props to Harry's date for asking him herself - not the other way around. The guy that asked me to go was someone in my art history class, and he seemed nice enough. Harry and I ended up going in two different groups, which had my anxiety at an all time high, but I fought through it so that I could enjoy my night.

It wasn't even an hour into the formal when I went to look for my date who said he was using the restroom, and I ended up finding him in the hallway making out with another girl who had come with our group - her own date forgotten about just like me, apparently. I became a mess, and I didn't even process those around me as I made my way back through the main banquet hall so that I could get outside. I knew I needed fresh air or else I was going to absolutely work myself up even worse than I already had.

Choking on a sob, I had sat myself down on one of the curbs outside, pulling my phone out of my clutch with shaking hands. I was just going to get a taxi, and head back to my dorm for the night, but it was barely seconds later that I felt a hand over my shoulder. I looked over, and saw that it was Harry crouched down next to me with concern growing in his eyes.

He didn't ask any questions at first - he just sat down next to me while pulling me into his arms as I continued to cry. I remember repeating over and over how he needed to just leave me, and go back to his date, but he refused. He kept assuring me that I was always going to be the most important person to him, and that he wasn't going anywhere.

"You deserve so much better than him, Carter," he told me once I looked up at him, and he tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. "Fuck any guy that would ask you here, have you look so beautiful, and then just leave you like that. Those aren't real men. Those are little boys."

Harry did eventually end up leaving me for just a bit to go inside and tell his date that he was heading out. Thankfully she was cool, and she understood once he explained the situation. Everyone knew how close Harry and I were, so it didn't come as a surprise to her that he would want to tend to me.

He took me back to his apartment that night, dressing me in some of his pajamas since I hadn't brought any of my own stuff, and we cuddled on the couch while watching Full House reruns.

I remember the way his fingers felt as he stroked my hair. I remember how his lips felt against my forehead, and my temple as he pressed soft kisses to them throughout the rest of the night. I remember waking up to him carrying me into his room when I fell asleep on the couch. I remember the way he curled his body around mine, completely spooning me as we slept in his bed.

It didn't hit me that night how I felt about him, but when I woke the next morning with a warmth in my chest at the way his frame shaped to mine, that's when I realized.

After declining his request to make me breakfast, I fled back to my apartment, and I hauled myself away until I was ready to face him again. I used the excuse that I was processing what happened to me at the dance - that was the first time I ever lied to Harry. The truth was that I was finding it difficult to process my emotions when it came to him.

When I finally found it in myself to see him again, he didn't treat me any differently, and things just fell right back into place. I honestly think that's what made me fall for him even harder. He was just so understanding.

Turning onto my side after taking off my glasses, I pull the covers further up my body, practically tucking them underneath my chin as I close my eyes. I do my best to get my mind to shut off, and to let me rest, but I know that a good night's sleep is definitely not in my future - at least not tonight.

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