#institutional limits

[alwaysbewoke]

the fix is in!!

[garadinervi]

Robert Motherwell, A la pintura: Black 1-3, (black Japanese paper), Universal Limited Art Editions – ULAE, West Islip, NY, 1968, published 1972 [The Art Institute of Chicago, Chicago, IL. © Dedalus Foundation, Inc./ARS, NY]

[little-cereal-draws]

Some sad Ballister and money headcanons

pt 1? maybe?

Ballister has a very complicated relationship to money

Growing up poor, the threat of not having basic things like a home, food, or other necessities hung heavy over his head. He might not have understood the full scope of it, but he was a smart kid and understood enough to feel its affects

He didn't have nice toys, his clothes were full of holes, their meals were small. He knew other families had more, he would see them walking down the street, but knew that wasn't for him or his family

He wouldn't ask for ice cream in the summer, wouldn't complain when they ate the same stew for dinner every day for a week because that's all there was, never cried or whined the few times he asked for something and was told "no"

It bled into guilt. When his mom offered to cut his hair one summer when he was sweating up a storm, he said no. He didn't want to bother her; she already was so busy and stressed. She assured him that it would take five minutes and wouldn't cost anything but still he refused

Or one fall, he helped a neighbor fix his heater (he held the tools) and got paid $10. He was so excited; this was money all for himself! His first thought was to give it to his parents because he knew how much they needed it but this was his money. He bought himself a sandwich for $6. The rest of it he gave to his parents. They didn't want to take it from him but he insisted and eventually they gave in

That night, he cried. He wanted to help, he knew how much they needed the money and how hard his parents worked, and he had selfishly spent over half of it on a single meal. $10 would have been much more helpful than $4 but he just had to treat himself, didn't he? He knew those fancy, expensive foods weren't for him but he bought it anyway

It was around this time that he decided he wanted to be a knight. They were so brave and strong and helped so many more people than he could. And they probably got paid pretty well, their armor was always so shiny

So he would pick up any odd jobs people could give to a kid (walking someone's dog, watering their plants while they were away, sorting recycling from garbage, etc) while dreaming about being a knight. The jobs only paid somewhere between $5 - $10 but it wasn't about the money. He was a hero of the realm and they only needed the safety of their people to be satisfied

But he would go home and count every dollar before he went to bed

When the Queen offered to keep him at the Institute and train him to be a knight, neither him nor his family could believe what they were hearing. There was some back and forth about what this would mean but ultimately, they let him go. He would have food, shelter, stability and all the things they couldn't provide

Joining the Institute was very overwhelming for many reasons but Balister did have to say he did enjoy not worrying about money all the time. He never had to worry about if the lights would shut off or where his next meal would come from. He didn't have to budget his few dollars and didn't feel guilty for wanting things. The other kids had so much stuff, surely he could have some too

This... wasn't totally true. Even though his life was more stable now, he still didn't have the latest sneakers or stories about long vacations to country houses or anything else that these kids had. He tried to ignore it but it was a glaring middle finger to the face every time someone casually mentioned their new pet pony or other ridiculous bullshit

The first few years of his training were fine, they were all using fake swords with plastic armor on straw dummies. But as he reached his teen years and training got more serious, he realized he was going to be left behind again

The Institute and the Queen did provide some things for him but it turns out that most of those kids' families provided their knight equipment for them. Ballister's family would be expected to do the same and he knew there was no way that was going to happen. He had come here to make his dreams a reality but if he had to choose between his future or his family starving/being homeless because all their money went to his armor, he would go home in a heartbeat. It would kill him but, in his heart, he knew it's what he would do

So he went to class everyday with only a sword that wasn't his. Ambrosius gave him a sword when he first got to the Institute and saw he didn't have one. At the time he was thrilled but told him he couldn't accept it, Ambrosius needed it. The blond boy had simply shrugged and said "You can keep it, I have a whole bunch." He was ecstatic to finally get a real-life sword but now it was a reminder that these other kids could trade these thousand dollar weapons like baseball cards. The monetary value meant nothing to them

Despite having a sword already, he didn't have any armor and got his ass handed to him so many times. Turns out having protection against people thrusting blades at you was important. Todd and the other knights made of him mercilessly but he would just have to endure it because there was no way in hell he was going to tell his parents he needed equipment. He was going to have to deal with it himself

At first the Director wanted him to stop training until he was able to afford armor but he begged her to keep going. He got really good at blocking attacks, because if he didn't, he would get hurt, but he knew it wasn't enough

It was nearly impossible because training took all day and then left him dog-tired but he started picking up odd jobs on the weekends again. People paid much better in the wealthier neighborhoods and he could get quite a decent sum for cleaning someone's gutter or mowing their lawn. It was embarrassing that he had to do this while the other kids could relax but it was worth it to not be covered in bandages all the time

He had saved halfway to his goal when he got seriously hurt. Sparing gone wrong, he fell for a fake-out right move and got slashed across his left side. It was bleeding a lot and he was whisked away to the informatory. After he got stitched up, the Queen came to see him. He hadn't expected her but apparently the accident was big enough to reach her

She asked him how this happened and embarrassedly, he admitted he wasn't wearing armor during practice. She was shocked and asked "why in the world not???" After a moment debate, he admitted that he didn't have any. That opened the floodgates, and everything came pouring out. He was ashamed that he got hurt, he was embarrassed he didn't have armor, he was guilty that he didn't ask for help, he was stressed that his parents would help him at their own expense, he was tired from spending every second he wasn't in class working

The Queen comforted him, letting him cry on her shoulder and combing his hair. It only added to his shame, this was no way for anyone to be treating the QUEEN. He pulled away and then the unspeakable happened. She offered to buy him a suit of armor. He sputtered, trying to refuse it, or at least let him pay for the part he had money for but she refused to negotiate. It was unacceptable that one of her knight cadets was left without the basic equipment required to succeed, that the Director did nothing to fix the problem, and that the environment of the Institiute made Balister feel too ashamed to ask for help and got him seriously injured

She bought him his thick black armor and the first day he wore it to class, he couldn't stop grinning. He beat the shit out of everybody who dared spar with him

Time went on and Ballister's armor got chipped and dented but he never wanted to buy a new pair like all his classmates in their shiny chest plates. This armor was old but it was his, he was allowed to have this

[mxtxfanatic]

Interesting commentary about how most people will identify with victims/victimhood while feeling discomfort when others identify with perpetrators, especially given the fact we live in societies (at least the one I’m in and the one that book was written in) that habitually materially revile victims on every level while championing and supporting perpetrators of certain violence.

[the-monkey-ruler]

I was reading The Monkey King's Daughter (you can read the whole book for an hour) and apparently the protagonist is also Guanyin's grandchild? Can Guanyin be shipped?

I mean I can’t say like what are like the moral implications of shipping GuanYin itself cause that is so not my place but I’m still going to answer this cause it kinda of interesting when it comes to modern media. First off saying that like I have never really seen romance done with GuanYin. At least in a serious way. But if I had to take a guess it can be seen as 'possible' as much as like shipping anyone in Chinese mythos, in that isn't really taken seriously at all. In a lot of modern fan spaces there are a variety of crack ships for more humorous or hypothetical situations like I have seen literally the Star of Venus shipped with Jade Emperor just cause. But I don't see much with buddhas or bodhisattvas in either post-modern media nor in fan spaces. At least that isn't Wukong or Sanzang since they are both Buddhas. And I have done a whole thing about how Wukong for decades wasn’t seen as a romantic figure until like there was a huge character reconstruction, but that isn’t usually the case for most characters.

I would say that the most mainstream instance I can think off the top of my head is The Lost Empire (2001) where it had the main character has a romantic plot with Gaunyin herself. Of course, that wasn't really a masterpiece within itself but this was considered like a 'bad choice' more so that it was just a very strange and awkward romance at that.

Funny enough I think I see more romantic for humor's sake on Guanyin in comic books or games as likes gags at most. Like in Westward comics (later a tv series) Guanyin has a celestial-turned-demon trying to pursue him that he always rejects. Another is more play for laughs but Guanyin in the Fei Ren Zai where people just don't know it's Guanyin and think she is so attractive.

I've seen some games that have Guanyin as like a pretty boy/girl but otherwise nothing even close to a romance plot. Those are more just for like aesthetics of making every character look overly attractive to sell it.

The best I can say is that is just kinda strange and a little strange personally but I can't say that it can be taken seriously. I mean Wukong is supposed to be a Buddha by the end of the novel, so if The Monkey King's Daughter has it that a buddha can have a daughter then there wouldn't be anything stopping the author from having a bodhisattva having kids.

[caterpillarinacave]

— years before TID —

Granville: This is my house and my rules! Now open up this door!

Charlotte: Actually, the house is under a mortgage, it belongs to the bank. If you want to bring Wells Fargo in then THEY can tell me to open that door!

Granville:

Granville: I knew I shouldn’t have gotten her those personal finance books.

[girderednerve]

work sucks, have we considered this

i am so fucking tired all of the time. i don't think it's a medical issue exactly i think it's that i work full-time and commute two hours a day, and i have never been very energetic to begin with. left to my own devices i sleep six hours a night and nap for a couple hours during the day, which one absolutely cannot do if one is at work. it's churlish to complain about my generally very cushy job (i'm on salary; i work inside; i find parts of my job draining but it is really very easy; &c.), but i left work two hours early today because there was a winter storm travel advisory & my boss said it would be okay to leave early since i am going to come in early tomorrow, & i feel so much better this evening that it really throws the rest of my time into sharp relief

[dougielombax]

I FUCKING LOVE SCIENTIFIC RESEARCH SHIPS AND SUBMERSIBLES!!!!!!!!

OH YEEEEEAAAAAH!!!!!!

Sure I don’t know SHIT about hydrography or oceanography or maritime research or any of that stuff.

But I love seeing such advanced equipment and ships being used for this kind of stuff!

Pure research for its own good!

Amazing.

[preacherboyd]

Justified | 1x04 Long in the Tooth

[garadinervi]

Robert Motherwell, The Aberdeen Stone, (color lithograph on light gray wove paper), Universal Limited Art Editions – ULAE, West Islip, NY, 1971 [The Art Institute of Chicago, Chicago, IL. © Dedalus Foundation, Inc./ARS, NY]

[steelycunt]

who on god’s green earth does a fifteen hundred word essay word limit serve i would just like to know . 🚬.

[jackgoodfellow]

Breaking News: Another horrible man is horrible to literally everybody and is then shocked when people are not nice to him. England once again totally fucked. But I hear the monarchy is good for tourism, so

"Doomed by the narrative? Too easy! No... it is the narrative that is doomed by US! (And also, we are so so horny for each other.)"

So it turns out The Lion in Winter (1968) slaps. Katherine Hepburn somehow manages to capture the feeling of watching someone tear out a person's jugular with smiling teeth. She and Peter O'Toole in this movie are basically performing the cinematic equivalent of the song "No Children" by The Mountain Goats and it is wild.

Tagging @thirdsisfics because I associate the term "doomed by the narrative" with the positive feelings I get from talking to you about the trope!

[disacurveball]

Shoutout to my friend for making all our faves color palettes- so I doodled Elias using the color palette they made for him

[sopranoentravesti]

Sorry to be a member of the intelligentsia on main, but I’m really not interested in hearing your takes on psychology or neuroscience when you get all your information from YouTube videos and refuse to read a book or a paper on whatever your chosen topic du jour is

[chemblrish]

Thesis crisis part ???