#institutionalisation cw

[slugass]

i’m so fucking tired of straitjacket/padded room humor from people who have never experienced it or even are mentally ill themselves

it’s so old and overdone but these people keep making fucking memes today where the joke is “haha straitjacket/padded cell cuz CRAZY!!!”

[windcarvedlyre]

Having a rare moment of pride about (some of) my country right now. Since last weekend England (and also Belfast) has been going insane with racist and islamophobic rioting, and another explosion of disorder was expected last night, but instead cities were flooded with counter-protestors forming shields around potential targets and barely any rioters showed up almost everywhere.

Rare british W.

[maracujatangerine]

82. Taking Note

CW: mental health issues, institutionalised slavery, dehumanisation, box boy universe, pet whump

The pale light of an overcast winter’s day flattened all the colours; the yellow curtains, the violet saintpaulia on the windowsill, the pet’s own blonde hair, everything taking on a washed-out tinge of grey. Coriander sat at the kitchen table, pen in hand, staring at a blue notebook. Miss Lydia had asked it to choose one of the notebooks at her bookshop yesterday.

“Perhaps you would like to try writing down your thoughts?” She had suggested, gently. “It is not for me to read. I promise that I won’t. Cross my heart, and hope to die, stick a needle in my eye!”

She laughed, but the look in her brown eyes was serious.

“You can write down anything you want, and it will be for your eyes only, okay?”

The pet had nodded and told her that it understood. Now, Miss Lydia was out. She had gone for coffee with Cecilia, and the pet had elected to stay at home.

The notebook it had chosen had a Japanese-style drawing of a cresting wave on the cover, the white tips of the wave rendered with splashes in glossy silver. The white pages were neatly lined in black.

The radio was on in the background, a piece by Händel tugging at some half-remembered string at the back of the pet’s mind. Cory knew that Miss Lydia had left Radio 3 on for the pet’s sake, but that she wouldn’t mind if it changed the station, just like she hadn’t minded that the pet had chosen to stay behind when she went out.

It used to agonise endlessly over such small decisions. Did Miss Lydia want it to say yes or no? Would this thing make it a better pet, or would that?

Nowadays, more and more, it felt like it could trust that its owner said what she meant. If she needed it to come, she would let it know. If she gave it a choice, she truly wanted it to make up its own mind.

That was an unprecedented freedom. Generosity beyond its wildest dreams. It knew it was extraordinarily lucky.

It should be happy, should it not?

And it was grateful, it was!

But happiness eluded it

In the beginning, everything had brought it joy. Or, well, at least relief.

Having its wounds treated, feeling its body healing, aches and pains receding to the back of its mind and gradually fading away.

Hunger, the dull gnawing of an empty stomach, the weakness and loss of focus that comes with days and days without enough food to eat. The terrible fear of feeling your own body consuming itself to stay alive. No more!

In its life with Miss Lydia, Coriander could still feel hungry, sometimes. At the end of a long day, before lunch at work, out on a hike in the woodlands. But it never felt truly hungry. That bottomless need for sustenance was a thing of the past.

These things brought relief. The joy came later.

Miss Lydia gently petting its hair, and Coriander genuinely wanting - and daring - to lean into her touch.

Playing the tin whistle for Miss Indira and the doctor responding with enthusiastic applause.

Laughing together with Miss Lydia without the pet having to carefully guard every word to avoid angering its owner.

Working at the shop and being given a nod of approval from Miss Carla at a job well done.

Sitting in the garden and watching flowers bloom from seeds they had sown together.

These were all things of joy, of beauty. Miss Lydia was consistently fair and kind. The pet felt healthy now, strong, even. Its damaged shoulder still impeded its daily life, its scars ached sometimes, and the nightmares refused to go away, but these were mere trifles in the grand scheme of things.

So, why wasn’t it happy?

It should be. It had been.

But now, lately, it was like some undefined malaise had taken hold of the pet. A depressing weight that suffused everything, that stole joy out of everything, just like the grey winter light leaked the colours away.

Looking down on the pages, the pet realised it had written the same sentence over and over.

Why did this happen to me?

Tag List Part 1: @cupcakes-and-pain @whump-em @whumpzone @wh-wh-whu @neuro-whump @carnagecardinal @cowboy-anon @whump-me-all-night-long @redwingedwhump @myst-in-the-mirror @haro-whumps @eatyourdamnpears @bloodsweatandpotato @pinkraindropsfell @whumptywhumpdump @theydy-cringeworthy @whump-in-progress @whumpsy-daisy @nicolepascaline @whumpcreations @briars7 @shiningstarofwinter @whumppsychology @alex-ember @miss-kitty-whumptastic @whumpy-writings @in-patient-princess @youtube-fandoms-bands @goblinchildindabog @mazeish @distinctlywhumpthing @inpainandsuffering @canniboylism @icannotweave @incoherent-introspection @kim-poce @broken-typewriter @the-monarch-whumperfly @whumpers-inc @grizzlie70 @lil-whumper @writingbackwards-blog @sunflower1000 @wingedwhump @thecitythatdoesntsleep @thingsthatgo-whump-inthenight @onlybadendings @rabass @wolfeyedwitch @melancholy-in-the-morning

[ennead-of-whump]

Psych Whump Masterlist

💉💉💉

This is going to be my go-to list every time I find something with medical or psych whump in it that I want to remember. I'll reblog it frequently and try to keep it updated but it's going to start small because good psych whump is so hard to find. (This in no way endorses medical abuse, I'm a mentally ill individual but I love consuming psych whump in media. Just about everything in these movies, books, etc are at the very least morally gray so consume at your own risk. Also, I only enjoy these things in fiction. Irl it makes me sick to my stomach, I know bc I've experienced some of this.) I'll try to add trigger warnings for each one but I might miss some so I apologize in advance. If you have any recommendations please message me! I'm scouring the internet for good psych whump but medical/sickfic whump is also wanted.

Movies:

A Cure For Wellness: Guy gets tricked into becoming a patient at a "resort" that's really a mental hospital in disguise that uses its patients for nefarious means. CW: incest, medical abuse, teeth falling out, sexual assault, some weird eel shit ^^There's probably more but I haven't watched the film in a while.

TV Shows:

Moon Knight: Whole season of psych whump, the main character has DID and loads of past trauma. Has a huge ancient Egypt theme and the MC gets (kind of) forced to accept psychiatric care. CW: lots of ableism, mental break, psychotic episodes, forced institutionalisation, child abuse, restraints

Books:

House of Leaves: This book is a fever trip but the MC (kind of?? The book has multiple authors, it's honestly very confusing but it's great) suffers from declining mental health and spirals hard. CW: child abuse, lots of sexual content, mentions of a caretaker beating a child, mentions/delusions of sexual assault, death of a dog (it was brutal, huge warning), mentions/descriptions of suicide and attempted murder

One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest: This is chock-full of psych and medical whump, it all takes place in a psychiatric hospital (I've actually been to the one in the film! -Not as a patient) CW: huge amounts of abuse from staff, doctors, nurses, there's also a scene where SA is implied on a patient, the MC is there after being convicted of SA'ing a minor and he's pretty unremorseful (the MC is a dick though anyways), racism, ableism

OG Works (not mine):

Redwood Psychiatric Insitute: Forced institutionalization, great read and it has just about every trope I look for in fics all packed into one series. Please give it a read, it's fantastic. Source - https://www.tumblr.com/only-shadows-dwell-where-we-are/706656298337435648/redwood-psychiatric-institute-masterlist?source=share by @only-shadows-dwell-where-we-are

Fanfiction:

Into Your Arms: This is a Star Trek fanfic that follows a girl who has a severe eating disorder and mental illness. It's not the normal kind of sickfic or psych whump I go for but the aftercare in this is topnotch. Source - https://archiveofourown.org/works/15185897 by moose-misses-sweets on ao3 CW: suicide attempt, severe eating disorder, abusive partner, cutting/self harm

Note: If something you made is on this list and you want me to remove it, please message me and I will. I don't check messages very often but it doesn't mean I'm ignoring you, I just forget I have a tumblr sometimes.)

This has now been moved to @caspers-delusions which is my main blog. I'll be updating the post from there

[pigeonwhumps]

Coming Home

Taglist: @painful-pooch @i-eat-worlds @a-funeral-romance @rainydaywhump @augustofwhump

Augustofwhump day 11: freedom / day 12: deal

A prisoner exchange deal is struck. Whumpee comes home.

655 words

CWs: Implied torture, past starvation, past dehumanisation, prison whump, institutionalised whump, insensitive journalists

It's dark by the time the plane lands.

There's been hours of delays, by politics and storms and who knows what else, so it's the middle of the night when the jet finally touches down on home soil for good.

Cameras are clicking before the door is even unlocked, bright flashes lighting up the scene unnecessarily. The whole airstrip looks washed out by the floodlights, including the reporter vans, the transport, the politicians fiddling awkwardly with their ties.

And Caretaker.

They'd sat in the back of all the negotiation meetings they were allowed in, read everything they could get their hands on. It wasn't much. It's all secret service, blacked-out reports, behind closed doors. And for good reason, they suppose. But they were there for the fierce debates over who to bring home. Whether a "mere civilian" was worth it.

Caretaker doesn't like to think about that. Like their sister's life was being measured and balanced, her future based on whether she was 'useful enough' to bring home.

Asset 4. That's what they called her during the discussions. Not Whumpee. Asset 4. Caretaker thinks they might punch someone, or maybe just break down and cry.

Finally, finally, the steps are slid into position and the plane door opens. People start to emerge. There's plane crew and officials, and four other released prisoners, but Caretaker only has eyes for one person.

They're watching closely, but it still takes them a bit to pinpoint Whumpee. They haven't seen her in five years but it's... it's more than that.

She's wearing jeans and a long-sleeved t-shirt, hanging off her in a way they shouldn't given that Caretaker gave the mission co-ordinators her size. It fits with the hollowness of her face, her prominent cheekbones, and is it just the floodlights making her skin look so washed out? Her hair is shaved to within an inch of its life, something she'd never do voluntarily. She's just as tall as they remember, hunched as if to hide it, not wanting to draw attention to herself.

Caretaker runs towards Whumpee, unable to help themself. Five years...

Whumpee flinches as they come within arms reach and they skid to a halt.

"Sorry, sorry."

"Sorry."

Whumpee looks taken aback at the apology. Caretaker doesn't like it. Nor do they like the dark sunkenness of her darting eyes, the nightmares lurking in the back, lying in wait.

They knew Whumpee had been held captive by one of the world's most notorious regimes, and that they likely went through all manner of horrors, but knowing it intellectually is different from actually knowing it.

"Caretaker?"

Her voice is soft and scratchy, hesitant, and Caretaker nods. They watch her eyes light up hopefully, and she closes the rest of the distance between them.

Caretaker wraps their arms carefully around her and she sags. She's twitchy, eyes darting around everywhere, but her arms encircle Caretaker in return.

"It's you."

"Yeah."

A journalist asks something from behind them, Caretaker doesn't hear what, a bulb flashes, and Whumpee jumps violently out of their arms, eyes skittering, a swiftly-stifled yelp escaping them.

Caretaker shoots the journalist a dirty look before turning back to their sister, running a hand up and down her arm.

"It's okay, Whumpee. You're safe now. Let's step away for a bit, shall we?"

Whumpee nods, gripping Caretaker's hand and following them to the edge of the airstrip. There they stop, looking out into the dark, rippling grass.

"I should've– I shouldn't be– This is– Is that stars?"

The end of that frustrated sentence is filled with wonderment as Whumpee tips her head back to look up at the sky. The floodlights tint the sky a dim blue, but looking away from them the sky twinkles slightly. Only the brightest stars are visible, but they're still stars.

"Yeah. Look, there's Mars."

"Mars is a planet," whispers Whumpee. She doesn't look away from the sky, or let go of Caretaker's hand.

She just watches the sky like she's never seen it before.

[enbycrip]

With credit to Mendip Hospital Cemetery on Facebook.

CW: historical disableist language, death of a young disabled person

Agnes was one of the millions of victims of the “Spanish Flu” pandemic aged 22 in a care institution.

What honestly really strikes me from this is that, while the language used to describe her impairment would have changed these days, it’s not unlikely that nothing else would have.

She might be living in her own home, but it’s just as possible she would not, especially if she had no family involved to fight for her, and if she was, she might actually been more isolated than she really was; given how horribly underfunded the care sector is, so many young disabled people are increasingly either institutionalised in unsuitable places where they can’t get the choices they deserve to have in their lives, or dumped in their own homes with only an alarm system and a few visits throughout the day for food prep etc, and no chances to socialise, learn or pursue their outside interests.

At least Agnes clearly had a peer group and friends who cared about her, despite facing disableist abuse from the wider community. I hope her biting episodes were more about asserting herself than sensory overwhelm or worse.

And of course, these days she could too easily end up a victim of COVID in the way she really was of the Spanish Flu. The highest percentage of COVID deaths has and continues to be from women or people read as women living in institutions.

Her name was Agnes, and her life mattered.

[crabs-with-sticks]

Jacs Reviews: The Spirit Bares Its Teeth

Genres: horror, historical fantasy

Themes: trans issues, misogyny, medical trauma, medical/body horror

“I want to peel off all my skin, if only so I could be anything other than a naked body, something horrifying instead of vulnerable. Nobody looks at a pig corpse and thinks it could be made beautiful.”

Honestly not quite sure how to review this one, how to sum up all my many, many thoughts on it. Because I really loved this book and it was an amazing own voices story of autistic and trans experiences.

It's visceral, it's gory, it's emotional, it's painful, it's cathartic, it's horrific, it's tender. This book is full of these seemingly contradictory emotions, and the author pulls them altogether into a symphony.

The protagonist, Silas, is a trans autistic man in the Victorian era and has violet eyes which lets him see hauntings and spirits. However because its Victorian times everybody is very sexist, and women (which is what he is perceived as by the status quo) who use their powers are either executed or sent to asylums with 'veil sickness'. All the different parts of Silas' identity were really well represented and integrated into the story.

Going in I was a bit worried about anachronisms (as a licensed history nerd) but it all slotted in very well! Certain elements, such as horrific public executions, are certainly exaggerated from history, but it never feels out of place. The author uses the exaggerations to emphasise the themes of the story, rather than in an endevour to make it more relatable to a modern audience. (There is nothing wrong with the later, it is just not my cup of tea).

I was also really impressed with the nuances and aspects of intersectionality that this book touches on. It deals a lot with women's issues and depicts a broad range of female characters within misogynistic systems in a very believable way. The way that Silas' identity weaves through these issues is also very well handling- that push and pull between his trans identity and the perception of him as a cis woman. Reading this book has given me a lot to think about

Finally, shout out to the narrator of the audiobook. Raphael Corkhill had a phenomenal performance on such a challenging book to narrate.

This all being said CHECK THE CONTENT WARNINGS before reading this book. The warnings are no joke. Trust me. There's no shame in putting down the book for a bit- I had to a few times. If you want a more extensive list, check on its storygraph page.

CW: gore, medical trauma/horror (think graphic descriptions of surgery), self harm, transphobia, sexual assault/rape, disassociation, forced institutionalisation, emotional flashbacks

[slugass]

“fans go psychward patient mode”

i hope your keyboard goes “basically just a fancy useless decoration” mode so that you never type anything like that ever again

[justplainwhump]

Job satisfaction

Tyler struggles to keep a facade in front of his colleagues and learns the whereabouts of Tara's informant.

Written for @whumptober 2022. Will be continued soon.

This is for Day 16, "no way out" and day 19, knees buckling.

A part of Tyler's arc.

Cw for BBU, institutionalised whump, facility whump, a bunch of professionally horrible people (WRU handlers and managers), referenced dehumanisation, (newly) reluctant whumper pov, shortly referenced noncon/dubcon (WRU romantic training), referenced torture

Tyler took the bus to work. He'd drunk too much vodka last night to be able to drive safely. He pressed his forehead to the window, greenish suburbs passing by the windows in a blur until the gray buildings of the industrial zone took over. Facility 002 was located far outside the city.

Hard to reach. Easy to control.

In his pocket, his fingers fiddled with his access card. It didn't say his name, didn't even say the company name, just a plain number, but still he had always kept it hidden. Odd, he realized. He'd told himself over and over again that he just did a job. People in his generation did what earned them money, and tried to be good at it. Nobody identified with what they did, or their employer, he was just like them, right?

Then why had he never told anyone? Even when it had all technically been legal, when he'd been working with voluntary acquisitions. Security, that's what he'd said when asked about his job. Corporate security for some high tech lab. Nobody had ever waited to know more.

The bus' doors opened with a hiss. "Industry Park South Entrance," the automated voice announced. "Last stop. This bus terminates here."

Tyler started, needed a second to find orientation, before he grabbed his backpack and got off. There were just a handful of other passengers left. All here for the same destination. A janitor, a receptionist. Did they tell others where they worked, he wondered.

Did it matter? They didn't do what he did. They weren't handlers. He remembered 238's screams last night, played to her over and over by him. He remembered the countless times he'd slept with her. He remembered her brown eyes, serious and solemn, when she'd told him 'I don't think I signed up for this'.

He'd taught her to never say it again.

Tyler wanted to scream. Instead, he put on an easy smile, nodded to the security officer at the entry, as he swiped his card. It hurt. The edges of the plastic card had cut into his palm, after clutching it too tightly. The pain felt oddly comforting.

"You're late."

Tyler looked up, meeting the gaze of Alex from Client Relations. Squinted dark eyes took him in critically, no doubt noticing the rings underneath Tyler's eyes, the slight trembling of his hands.

"Had a long shift yesterday," he mumbled. "Didn't sleep well."

"I know. Log out at 12.37 am," Alex said without even looking somewhere to check. They weirded him out. "No idea what you did that long, nor do I want to know, honestly. Anyway. Senior Handler Nguyen wants a word before you go in. He's in his office."

Shit.

Tyler nodded numbly. "Yeah. Uh. Thanks."

When he turned towards the office floor, Alex' hand stopped him. "I really don't care," they said. "But he didn't seem like he'd care much, either."

Tyler frowned at them, but they'd already pulled back their hand and were staring at their tablet.

"Oh. Important call. First product specification with Judge Nicholls." They rolled their eyes. "It's her fourth pet, and she's always such a diva. Anyway." Alex' looked Tyler down once again. "If you're sick, don't stay too close to me. There's a cabinet full of prescription drugs at Doctor Wood's office. She'll get you up to peak performance in no time."

"I'm goo-"

"Shhh." Alex was on the phone already, gesturing for him to shut up and pointing impatiently at Alan's office.

*

"238's a mess today," Alan said, without any preface. He didn't even look up from his papers. It felt odd, standing here still in civilian clothes and waiting for a uniformed handler to judge him. "You deviated from protocol, Parker. Why?"

Because it was easier to beat her and cause her pain than to fuck her while she pretended to enjoy it. Because like that, at least, they'd both known it was fucking wrong what was happening.

"Protocol for her current training phase is to simulate a domestic environment, Sir." Tyler crossed his hands in front of him and looked at the tips of his sneakers, hoping Alan wouldn't watch him too closely. His boss was insanely good at spotting a lie. Tyler could just hope that right now, he wasn't looking for one. "I've read her file and that on her prospective owner's other pet. He'd use pain in a domestic environment. So I prepared her for that."

"Huh." The rustling of paper indicated that Alan had put the file down. He hadn't been reading it anyway, Tyler wagered. Alan was playing mind games, always. And even though Tyler saw it happening, he usually got caught in them anyway. Alan was a master on his playing field.

He remembered, that on their first meeting, he had aspired to be like Alan one day. It felt ages ago. "I appreciate the initiative. Bold move though, to not discuss it with me beforehand." He paused. "Bold move especially, coming from you, Parker."

"I… I like to do things right. This, um. This didn't seem bold to me. It was within my scope of decision. I thought."

Alan chuckled quietly. "Well that does sound more like you for sure. Next time, write that reasoning down in your report, too."

Tyler nodded, trying to hide the relief in his voice. "Of course."

"I ordered solitary for her for two days or three. The uncomfortable kind. I think your intuition was right. She needs to take any attention her owner gives her as affection. So we lock her up, let her crave any human touch, and you'll get back to her the day after tomorrow and give her both. Fuck her and hurt her. Fuck her hard. And if she doesn't get it, she'll get one more day of solitary, and we'll try again."

Tyler felt a hard knot in his stomach. Fuck her and hurt her. Again and again and again. That was his job. In contrast to her, he had signed up for it.

Alan didn't seem to register his discomfort. "We have all the time, her prospective is overseas for the next six weeks."

"Good."

It wasn't enough, it seemed, because Alan paused for a moment. "Everything alright, Parker? I'm giving you praise, and a break for today. You're unusually passive about it."

Tyler cleared his throat. "Bad night. Personal, Sir."

"Huh. Don't let it interfere with your work." Alan tilted his head. "I was thinking about filling you in on one of my other cases today. But in that case, let's postpone it. You can go ask Handler Thompson if she's got some work for you while 238 is on hold. Heard her bragging about some special assignment."

Carly. Tyler had to hold back not to grimace. He'd tried to befriend her, in the beginning. Always important to be on good terms with the colleagues, after all. But she was… something else. Something he never wanted to be. He should've understood back then, already.

"Sir, maybe I should-"

"Her methods are very different from mine. I don't think highly of her. But you can learn from her nonetheless."

Tyler swallowed. "I… Sir, I thought I might just call in sick for the day."

"Huh." Alan raised an eyebrow. "Well. If it's that bad, I guess there's no better day than today either. Good work, in any case." Something fell on his shoulder, and Tyler flinched before he realized it was Alan's hand, in a rare gesture of reassurance. "You're on a good path, Parker. Keep that private life separate from work and vice versa, look closely at how things work in this facility, and your next career move won't take long to come. You have a lot of potential. Use it."

Tyler didn't feel like it.

*

He managed to pull himself together as he left the office. Still in his civilian clothes, he felt the weight of his phone in the pocket of his jeans. He'd go home and call Tara. He'd meet her and come clean with her and he'd convince her to be safe.

"Hey, T!"

Tyler almost flinched when he heard Carly's voice. She was sitting in Alex' office, lounging in the visitor chair with her feet on their desk, pointedly ignoring their eye roll. "Short day, or have you pulled an all nighter with that raunchy trainee of yours? She as flexible as she looks?"

"Very," Tyler said.

Carly grinned. "Too bad your boss doesn't let me touch her. I'd love to give her some... specialty training." She put two fingers to her mouth and finished the gesture with a slow flick of her tongue. As if they wouldn't have understood before.

"Not on her training plan," Alex' voice was flat, almost a little bored, but Tyler still noted some annoyance. "She's in the box today anyway. Tyler is off duty. In contrast to you."

Tyler raised his eyebrows, but didn't inquire, how the hell Alex managed to get their hands on information that quickly.

"Oh, I have plenty time." Carly smirked. "Got my pet lib bitch strung up in a nice little stress position. She's going to be soft as a kitten when I get back with her."

"Technically, she's not pet lib," Alex corrected coldly. "These potential sign-ups she made trouble about, they weren't pets. She's anti WRU. There's a distinction."

"She messed with our business. And she is working with pet lib, I'm sure about that. Two or three hours more with her, and I promise she'll spit out some names."

Tyler leaned to the door frame as casually as he could. He feared his legs would give out. "Who -?"

"002242. Our latest acquisition. Social worker. Seriously interfered with recruitment down town."

'My informant was arrested', Tara's voice echoed in his head. 'WRU recruiters all but hunting homeless kids. Tried to do something about it. Now she's gone.'

He didn't feel well.

"We...," Tyler cleared his throat. "I thought involuntary acquisitions meant custom orders."

"It is a custom order. Internal one. Director Fisher's. He's unhappy with pet lib and anti WRU sentiment in this town. Need to smother some voices, re-educate some others. Luckily, it's just a small number compared to the ones that actually bring us money. Financially, each of these trainees is a disaster. Can't offer them via our website, can't give them to anyone who keeps their pets in public - at least nobody local, and shipping pets overseas is such a hassle."

"Your perspective is so cold, Al." Carly rolled her eyes, ignoring Alex' quiet correction, "Alex."

"Talking like they're objects, not people, with real feelings." She swung her legs off the table to lean in. "Feelings, Al. Pain. Despair. Fucking bleak and hopeless sadness. And that little, devastating moment when they understand that this is it." She all but moaned. "Fuck, I could drink that in with a straw."

She checked her watch and got to her feet. "Time to work on that, I guess. Cheers, Al. T, you coming? I could need a hand."

"Actually, Tyler has signed o-"

"Sure." Tyler talked over Alex, feigning a grin of his own. "Yeah. I'm in."

Carly bumped her fist into his shoulder. "Great, buddy. I promise, working with these assholes before the Drip, it's even better than fucking them later." She let out a chuckle. "And doing it both? Man, that's the real thing. Fuck, I love my job."

I don't, Tyler thought, with the dawning realisation it was far too late for that.

[yuripoll]

KNOCKOUTS: Pietà (1998 - 99)

Pietà is a two volume josei series by Haruno Nanae about two classmates with rocky relationships with their parents finding comfort in each other.

Rio Sakaki was raised by an unsympathetic father and a stepmother whose dream of a normal, happy life drove her to harass the poor girl and have her institutionalized. As a result, Rio developed suicidal tendencies and an aloof, distant personality that drove all potential friends away. But things change for the girl when she meets the studious, yet just as troubled Sahoko one day, and in time, Rio's icy exterior begins to melt. Together, the two girls quickly become fast friends and try to carve out their own happiness in a world that has neglected them. - Anime Planet

(MAL) Digital JP release available on Shueisha. There is no official English release, but it was released in Polish!

CWs under cut. General severity ranking: moderate.

no sexual content / nudity

suicidal ideation, attempted suicide, and self harm

institutionalisation

child abuse / emotional abuse (by a stepmother)

(mentioned) child death

(non-fatal) house fire

[astralbooks]

Bloodmarked by Tracy Deonn

Read: 07/10/2022 - 18/10/2022

Rating:5/5

Rep: Black main character, Taiwanese-American lesbian side character, bisexual love interest, Black side characters, achillean side character, various queer side & minor characters

CW: racism, death of a parent (in backstory), death of a friend (prior to book’s beginning), on page death, grief, violence, life-threatening injury, discussed rape (in backstory, not of main character), non-consensual drug use, non-consensual memory & perception manipulation, imprisonment

Review:

(This review will spoil the ending of Legendborn)

To put it simply, I’m obsessed.

The book opens a few weeks on from where Legendborn ended. Nick is still missing, and the Order haven’t given any indication that they’re all that concerned about trying to find him. Bree’s supposed to be their leader, their King, but you know how it is in both fantasy and through history with long time regents when the true monarch appears. At first they keep her identity secret for practical reasons that appear to be largely reasonable, but things soon take on a much darker tone.

The commentaries on generational trauma and institutionalised racism that were present in the first book haven’t gone anywhere in this one. Bree may be Arthur’s Scion, and the most powerful Scion there has ever been due to her own unique abilities, but in the eyes of many she is just a Black girl who needs to be controlled and possibly eliminated so that her power can go where they want it to go. Deonn doesn’t shy away from how horrific this is.

Bree learns a lot more about how the magic works in this world in this book and I really enjoyed that! Through the first book Bree met people who told her about magic that only works in a very specific way, and it was fun seeing Bree learn how these people were wrong, intentionally or otherwise. The magical world is a Lot bigger than Bree realised, and this isn’t always a good thing.

I liked Selwyn in book one but didn’t quite relate to the huge amount of hype centered specifically on him. It’s not incorrect to say that a lot of Sel’s hype stems from him being the mysterious hot white guy character who’s a bit of a jerk, and we all know that these are the characters that fandom likes to flock to. However, I get it. After reading this book, I get it. I’m surprised at how much I love him because he can be downright mean at times and I usually don’t like those characters at all, but this jerk does have a heart of gold and his meanness almost always stems from how deeply he cares about his friends, wants to keep them all safe, and doesn’t want them to worry about him. He’s not mean just for the sake of it, and he’s under a lot of pressure because a lot of people are relying on him. His relationship with Bree was So Good. There is an incident partway through the book involving him that has the potential to turn a lot of people off him entirely, but I think that his genuine understanding of what he did wrong and his genuine remorse, plus Bree not forgiving him right away due to how serious this incident is, has made me enjoy him and their relationship dynamic even more. 

Loving Selwyn does not necessarily mean that I’m rooting for him to ‘win’ this love triangle. Nick’s not in this book as much as he was in the first one, but with his limited page space he still manages to shine. Does this make me Team Nick? No it does not. There are a couple of scenes where both boys are talking to Bree at the same time and they were great and I would like to formally make it known that I think Bree deserves two boyfriends. I’m sure the boys would be down. 

A bunch of new characters were introduced in this book! I especially liked the new friendly cambions, Lark and Valec. Valec was particularly fun, and hit on a very specific trope that I enjoy a lot. Valec is attracted to Bree, is completely aware that these feelings are not reciprocated and is content with that, and delights in making fun of the other person present who also has feelings for her. Valec is the transparent sort, and Sel very much isn’t, even if Sel likely doesn’t know the meaning of the word subtlety.

I wrote in my review of the first book that I had a prediction about Alice and I didn’t write that prediction down and for the life of me I have no idea what that prediction was. I will learn nothing from this. Alice was great though.

Of course, with all these cool side characters, the fact remains that Bree is the star of the show here! She spends the whole book trying so hard to do the right thing, even when it seems like everything is against her. She doesn’t put up with anyone’s bullshit, isn’t afraid to put boundaries in place and fight for them when needed, and is willing to do so so much if it’s for the sake of the people she loves. She’s an excellent protagonist and I love reading from her perspective.

Speaking of perspective, the climax near the end was SO COOL! Once again there’s something that looks like a non-sequitur but really really isn’t in my review on this series, but I can’t explain in any more detail without spoiling things. Just know that I was yelling.

For some reason I was under the impression that this was a duology, and this made the final chapters of the book significantly more stressful for me. If that ending had been the ending to the entire series I would’ve been so mad. I’ve never been so happy to learn that I was wrong. I know that at the time of this review being posted this book hasn’t technically been released yet, but please I am begging for it to be less than another two years before the third installment’s release.

I would absolutely recommend this book/series. 

Thank you to NetGalley and Simon and Schuster for providing me with an e-arc in return for an honest review.

[maracujatangerine]

I woke up thinking about this so I'm asking! How would Cory fair if, for some unimaginable reason, Lydia had no choice but to have Wayland watch him for the weekend??

84. Unfortunate Circumstances

CW: NSFW, non-con, institutionalised slavery, dehumanisation, box boy universe, pet whump

“Of course, dearest. You and Lydia should enjoy your girls’ weekend together and I’ll keep an eye on the pets.”

“Are you sure you are all right with looking after Cory-boy, too?”

“No problem, Ceci. It isn’t more than right considering your friend took care of Brutus for our trip. We should help her in return.”

Mistress Cecilia pouted prettily.

”But that sounds so boring and full of drudgery, dear. Perhaps I should stay to keep you company?”

Wayland gave Cecilia an affectionate kiss. “Don’t you worry! I’ll have some fun too. I might have a few friends over tonight.”

“That sounds better.” She wrapped him in a quick hug. “See you in a couple of days!” Looking at Absalom, Brutus and Coriander all kneeling in line, she added. “Be good, pets.”

And then she was out of the door.

*

Handcuffs clinked as Wayland locked Cory’s hands behind the pet’s back. Then, he pushed him down to kneel on the cold floor. Brutus watched helplessly as Coriander, naked, lowered his head. His scarred back, the vulnerable arc of his spine, the blonde hair falling freely around his face. The fair-haired pet looked… broken.

Wayland rubbed his hands together, grinning.

”Don’t worry your sweet little head, pet. We are going to have fun together. First, Absalom is going to make you feel so good. He is a wizard with that mouth of his. He knows exactly what to do.” He smiled languidly. “And then, Brutus here, will take you from behind.”

Wayland reached up and patted Brutus’ upper arm a couple of times. Just like you would pat your horse or your hunting dog. For once, Brutus didn’t feel the elation that praise from his Master usually gave. Instead, he felt a sick, cold dread roiling in his stomach.

“You’re going to pop some pills, boy.” Wayland said. “So that you can stay nice and hard for a long, long time.” He chuckled to himself. “This will be a show for me and the lads to enjoy. I have heard from Cecilia that your dear Mistress Lydia doesn’t even play with her boy toy.” He spat. “Just what you could expect from that fridgid bitch, am I right?”

He reached out to smooth over Coriander’s hair in a mock caress, only to violently fist his hand into the silken, blonde tresses and force the shivering pet’s head up. Tears glimmered in Cory’s grey eyes, catching the lamplight, but the pet did not let them fall.

“Hmm.” Wayland almost purred at the sight. “But that should mean that you are nice and tight.” He laughed. “Perhaps too nice a treat for a simple guard dog, maybe all of us should have you? Brutus can get his chance when we are all done.”

He looked up, behind Brutus’ shoulder. “What do you think, Absalom? You little whore. I’m sure you have all the experience in the world when it comes to these matters, don’t you?”

The romantic gracefully sidestepped Brutus’ hulking form and sashayed into the room. When he passed the guard dog, he turned his head and locked eyes with Brutus. The eye contact somehow electrifying, meaningful, as if he wanted to share a message. But Brutus had no idea what Absalom meant to convey, and the moment passed.

“That’s right, Master.” Absalom stepped close to Wayland, let his hand glide lightly down the bigger man’s chest. He looked up at him through his eyelashes. “But..” Absalom said slowly. “Why would you bother with these… amateurs?” The pet tilted his head upwards, as if inviting a kiss. “I can give you and your friends all the entertainment you need.”

He turned his head slowly towards the door. Again, that meaningful glance towards Brutus. An expression of urgency flickering over his face, only to be completely erased when Absalom looked up towards Wayland again. “You can send them away.” He suggested, coyly. “We can have some privacy to enjoy ourselves before your friends arrive.”

“Aha, I know what you want.” Wayland said. “You just want to have the chance to curry some extra favour for yourself.” He laughed. “That’s kind of sly. Smart for a pet, at least.” He grabbed Absalom’s chin, forcing the pet’s head further upwards. “It will be fun playing with you. But me and the lads, we probably want some novelty as well.”

He looked over all the three pets with a calculating expression that chilled Brutus’ blood.

”Maybe..” he said, and the glint in his eyes held no hint of clemency or compassion. “Maybe I’ll just take all three of you at once.”

Brutus awoke, heart still beating fast with fear. The familiarity of the sparse room. The shapes of his weights on the rack at the end of his bed, each of them glistening silver in the light from the street lamps. The hard cot beneath him. It all brought him back to reality.

Coriander was safe, at home, with his owner. Absalom probably asleep upstairs.

It had all just been a dream. But the uneasy feeling stayed with Brutus for a long time.

*

The ‘it was just a dream’-trope is a bit of a cheap cop-out, I agree. Sorry about that. ☺️

I don’t think Lydia would ever leave Coriander with Wayland. She would rather leave him to stay home alone.

Thank you for the fun ‘what-if’-inspiration, Anon! ✨💖✨ (I love getting asks, but I am very slow in responding to them.)

*

Tag List Part 1: @cupcakes-and-pain @whump-em @whumpzone @wh-wh-whu @neuro-whump @carnagecardinal @cowboy-anon @whump-me-all-night-long @redwingedwhump @myst-in-the-mirror @haro-whumps @eatyourdamnpears @bloodsweatandpotato @pinkraindropsfell @whumptywhumpdump @theydy-cringeworthy @whump-in-progress @whumpsy-daisy @nicolepascaline @whumpcreations @briars7 @shiningstarofwinter @whumppsychology @alex-ember @miss-kitty-whumptastic @whumpy-writings @in-patient-princess @youtube-fandoms-bands @goblinchildindabog @mazeish @distinctlywhumpthing @inpainandsuffering @canniboylism @icannotweave @incoherent-introspection @kim-poce @broken-typewriter @the-monarch-whumperfly @whumpers-inc @grizzlie70 @lil-whumper @writingbackwards-blog @sunflower1000 @wingedwhump @thecitythatdoesntsleep @thingsthatgo-whump-inthenight @onlybadendings @rabass @wolfeyedwitch @melancholy-in-the-morning

[jadeoxfordrose]

oh another one actually: kel and secret!

From oc asks: not-so-nice edit

secret: What's one secret your OC never wants anyone to know about them?

this one is a little heavy so i'm gonna put it behind a read more. cw for internalised ableism + sanism, and brief talk about being institutionalised and a suicide attempt.

Before the events of the campaign, before they came to Boston for school, Kel was in a rough place. Not along after their dad died suddenly, having already been struggling with depression, they tried to kill themself and wound up institutionalised for their safety as they had no family willing to help them (their parents having been cut off by their respective families years previously).

While they have been open with their partners and close friends about a lot of the tough stuff they went through, this they have kept secret. They struggle a lot as it is with feeling like a burden due their disability and and do not want to add on to that - especially with *everything* that has happened. Some of it is shame on their part - misplaced as that be - and some of it is fear of what opening that part of thier past up to scrutiny will result in. They see themself as a coward as it is - they don't want their loved ones to see them that way as well.

((LET ME BE CLEAR: Kel is wrong about this and eventually they get to have therapy and will unlearn/unpack their trauma around the event and what lead up to it. This is certainly not a reflection on their loved ones who in actuality I have no doubt would be nothing but supportive and understanding.))

[cuteangsty]

Okay I love your interactive pet shelter thingy, just found your page and I love it I have a quick question, why are they pets in the first place? (Is this animals are humans and humans are animals type thing or something else?)

Love the art keep up the good work!

hii! I'm glad you like it!

about the pets:

well,I wrote the story i n the boxboy universe( I'm also new to it lol )

basically, these shelters are places where ppl who want to become pets wilingly sign up to be purchased as pets (they have to be over 18 or even in some stories 21 ). then they are trained (and basically brainwashed) to be bought and treated as animals, so yeah, they are human. some stories mention the existence of animal-human hybrids also existing, but I'm trying to keep this on a little more realistic (just a little lmao)

there are isntitutions who protect the pets, and make sure they have a good life, they need to have check ups regularly, and you need to be well of with money to have one. basically society has found a way to keep this ok and legal in a way.

Now, those are the rules of the system, but I think a good angsty sad boy story lies in breaking them >:3

there are ppl, or well pets, who may fall through the cracks: being kidnaped, abandoned, harassed, mistreated, maybe they were forced to sign up Idk...

there are a lot of blogs dedicated to this (kinda nonsensical) universe.

here are some links to some explanations:

Oh and, about the animal-human thing too. I was thinking about writing smth like that in a near future, I just need to get a hold on what would it be exactly. but I'm working on a little drabble about it so come back soon :3

[wolffyluna]

Surprisingly often in the history of psychiatry, doctors have gone "have we tried turning them off and on again?"

[silversarcasm]

i’ve been playing wrath of the righteous a lot recently and i absolutely fucking adore Daeran and his story but whoever decided that him defending himself from forced institutionalisation makes him evil..........i just want to talk....