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Just some more thoughts on that jayvik dbh au
#I got a lot of people saying that Viktor should be the Android#which I did mention in the tags last time#but after thinking about it I just think that the human experience is such an integral part of viktor as a character#(aside from the fact that it makes every character ever)#his pain and suffering due to his illness and disability and class#like I can’t take that away from him#not that Jayce doesn’t go through his own things too#but I think Jayce’s naïveté from season one lends itself well to an Android in awe of human life#and a jaded but wise Viktor who still has a good heart and sense of humour#I mean this is just my version of the au and like I think I said in my tags last time im pretty sure I’ve seen a few around with android V#definitely got recommended some fics that I’m excited to check out!#sorry for rambling - this isn’t to discredit any other interpretations!! just kind of exploring my thought process behind it :)#oh also sorry that this is angsty lol#it’s fine#my art#arcane#jayvik#Jayce talis#jayce arcane#Viktor arcane#dbh#detroit become human#arcane au#noodles talks#(in the tags)
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this fucking gutted me, and i was still reeling as bad as andrew is in this scene trying to process what ashley just did to him. how nemlei can capture this kind of visceral emotion just in still images and simple dialogue is insane.
#the coffin of andy and leyley#andrew graves#ashley graves#gravecest#this is the only part that made me genuinely nauseous#do i want to replay it so i can catch more detail that i was unable to process the first time around?#yes absolutely. also no. my brain objects like it resists self-inflicted mutilation#i’m confused as to why people view andrew calling her an ‘it’ here as somehow foul on his part#all i saw was him looking at her and feeling like he does not recognize her#that isn’t his sister; something else#what she just did to him can’t be integrated into his perception of her because the ashley he knows would never do that to him#however; she just did
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Horsie 🐎
3 ½ in (8.89cm) x 3in (7.62cm), Sculpey, jewelry pins, seed beads, acrylic paint, & yarn.
#traditional art#scuplture#horse#pony#art doll#sculpted a few days ago and painted and finished last night#i wanted to take better pictures of it today but i had to repair some spots and the gloss mod podge left white streaks#twas going to be a gift but shes a crusty in a few places and i wanna adjust the process so its cleaner#namely with the structural integrity of the yarn man but its fine#im really really happy with how she looks like a little vintage toy. I'd love to make one of these dolls out of wood one day
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mark and helena having sex is so fucked on so many different levels ahaha i cannot waitttt to watch the aftermath unfold
#real disturbing consent issues....on both sides!!#helly feels like she's been roofied. mark feels lied to and manipulated. but also probably feels like he took advantage of helly himself#helena DEFINITELY took advantage of mark#not to mention what this all means in the context of the search for gemma and mark maybe starting the re-integration process??#help i can't wait#severance
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Some other islanders (mansoa lamerei begonia and mrysin) because shockingly there are characters other than Pacific and Bohai in Alliacea
#my art#i really like lamerei so i might put her into situations more#which is like 90% of my writing process#i design a character just to fill space i become fond of them and then they become an integral part of the story#alliacea
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gods' night out
lines + source pic under cut
#homestuck#hom3stuck#home24uck#home2t4ck#dirk strider#jake english#dirkjake#jakedirk#admin draws#fanart#special thanks to nahrgles for the posterization suggestion otherwise youd just have the lines version#ion even wanna talk about why i wasnt posting just safe to say it felt HEALING to do so again#this was like. really easy. i cant even lie. time consuming yes but#considering i drew over a pic and then only hand-colored the skin it was pretty easy#and having fun with the wrinkles and shadows was the most time-consuming part#if this looks a bit odd its because the idea to integrate the colors came late in the process#but i was committed to just going with the flow soooo this is what we have !
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The Rook x Observant Reader got even longer. I’m not even talking the current word count which is 39k. I’m talking I have more idea to fit in the end so the entire theme of the fanfic is more wholistic. Yes, there are core themes in this like real novels or short stories. There’s even foreshadowing. I intentionally use story structure to enhance the reader’s experience. I make sure that there’s no scenes that are not there for a reason. If I could take it out of the story and it would still make sense, I’ve banished it to the scrap pile.
I have no idea how this happened. I’m as surprised as everyone else. I’ve been in shock for the past 3 hrs.
Some of these things I didn’t even plan until I looked a little closer and analyzed it and went “oh my god! The parallels!” You’ll get it once you read it.
I’m still in shock but I have to share because wtf. I didn’t plan any of this. It just happened and it’s smart
#baffled#how did i get here#i'm still in shock#brain doesn’t compute#it took like 2 hrs to write the outline/structure for the ending ending#I’m talking we wrap book 7 up#it’s brief because the solution is simple in my opinion#we go for preventative measures here rather than damage control#folks regulate your emotions#go to therapy in a nutshell#she had a great YouTube series on emotional processing#once u read this fanfic you’ll understand how integral it’s become in my life#u could psychoanalyze this#how did this happen#this wasn’t planned#twisted wonderland#twst#twst x reader#pomefiore#fanfic update#rook hunt#twst rook#rook x reader#writing#i feel like this could be publish worthy but it’s a fanfic#can I use this on my resume?#I still don’t know how I got here#I’ve had multiple people tell me that they really like my reader#like move aside romantic interest I want the reader#such a compliment
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Yknow, I feel like part of the reason why people don't understand Ozpin as well as they probably could is because they... don't understand how the merge works. Let me explain.
The fandom has this expectation that Ozpin will take over Oscar when the merge is finished, and that Oscar will just disappear. Honestly, I think this is an extremely inaccurate reading of the merge based in bias and listening to unreliable narrators.
"But Oscar says he's afraid of disappearing, and expects it to happen. Isn't this reliable?" <- good question. No, I don't believe it's all that reliable. Oscar is experiencing the merge for the first time, and has no clue how it'll end; because of this, and his personal fears, he draws conclusions, and that conclusion is "I'm going to disappear into the collective of lives that is Ozpin." I also don't believe that this specific sentiment has been said by Oscar since v6, but it's been a while, so I can't remember.
Meanwhile, though, Ozpin himself never said that he was going to take over Oscar and that Oscar would disappear. When it comes to talking about the merge, Ozpin always frames it as Oscar gaining, rather than losing to him. Oscar will inherit my memories and muscle memory, you're recollecting my longest held memories and gaining control over my remaining magic, etc. It's almost framed as if OSCAR is taking from Ozpin, rather than the other way around.
"But Oscar has been changing throughout the volumes, if Oz isn't taking over, why is he changing?" <- another point. Oscar IS changing, but it's more superficially. His vocabulary is widening ("plummeting immediately" for example), his mannerisms have changed a little but mostly in the confidence department, and his voice has lowered, plus the inherited magic and memories. But his actual personality and deepest parts of his identity hasn't changed; he's still wise in his own way, notably different from Ozpin; he's optimistic but still realistic, for one, and he's very contemplative, and expresses importance in the individuals, vs the many as Ozpin does. He also still has his own unique brand of sass, his unique strategies and planning (how he handled the situation in Monstra), etc. He still identifies as Oscar, and the biggest change is definitely the gained confidence.
But, harder to notice, especially if you're not insanely obsessed with them like me, Oz has also changed, arguably more than Oscar. At this point, his entire voice has changed; the cadence of his voice, the timbre, his vocabulary and how he words things, etc. If you compare Ozpins current voice and Oscars, both Aaron Dismukes version and Shannon Mccormicks, they sound nearly the exact same. There's VERY little difference- at times, Oscar seems a little more formal than Ozpin! Oz's mannerisms and facial expressions have changed a lot as well, adopting more of Oscars (wider eyes, softer looks, lots of movement with his hands without their cane, honestly likely more that's escaping me rn). He also talks to the other characters as peers now, though it's hard to tell if that's from the merge or character development. I'd also mention how Ozpins worldview has drastically changed, but that's from character development and canonically, Oscar inspired him, but basically he's completely picked up Oscars views and beliefs (even if he's a little hesitant at times, he still trusts Oscar).
But basically... they've both changed, arguably Oz more than Oscar, both from the merge and character development. And it seems to me that it's more likely that Oscar won't disappear? Especially when you consider Ozpin saying "I understand. I went through the same panic and confusion you are." <- this is talking about the merge in v4, when Ozpin just appeared in Oscars head. Obviously, he'd have to be referring to being an ordinary person (likely a teenager) suddenly having a voice show up in your head. Ozpin identifies AS Ozpin- not as any previous incarnation (though he identifies with the memories too), so I doubt he identifies as Ozma. Thus, this implies that they change.
Also, soul in rwby IS identity. Aura is your soul but tangible. Thus, if two different souls merge- that inherently implies a change of identity. The souls change, thus the identity changes. Plus, Ozpin literally says IN v5 that "I am the combination of countless men, living, dying, and reincarnating, and i am changed- but my memories stay with me." It seems that the only constants are their memories, magic, and immortality. Everything else changes- "I am changed."
So I definitely don't think that Ozpin just takes over and absorbs his hosts. Everyone who thinks that's how it works in-universe are unreliable narrators; Ironwood, Leo, Qrow, Salem, even Oscar himself (though atp I think he might have an idea that he won't disappear, but he still doesn't want to change, which is reasonable). Oz's inner circle members wouldn't know in-depth how the merge works, bc a) Oz tended to lie to them and b) i doubt that's something he wants to discuss anyways. Salem wouldn't know because when Ozma told her, he'd only reincarnated once, and he only had the God of Lights really vague, cryptic words to go off of, and Salem herself has likely only been informed by people who wouldn't know how the merge works anyways (Leo). And i already explained why Oscar is also an unreliable narrator about it too.
Light and Jinn are also hints as to how it works too; they imply the hosts don't disappear by saying "Until then, you will reincarnate, but in a manner that ensures you are never alone." And "As the centuries passed, he learned to live with the people in which he had been paired." So naturally, the hosts don't disappear, and everything else says that Oz changes.
Another, smaller note, but you can tell with the other Oz's seen in The Lost Fable that they all act differently. It's more obvious with Ozma and Ozma 2.0, but you can tell with the rest of them (and even the hermit in the story of the seasons), since they all have different mannerisms and, for those who speak, they kinda speak differently as well. They're also vastly different from how Ozpin acts, both from the beginning of rwby to now, and they act differently from Oscar.
TL;DR: the merge isn't a takeover on Oz's part; they both change and, at the end, identify with whoever the host is (hence the name change).
#felix (host)#rwby#rwby rambles#ozpin#oscar pine#rwby salem#god of light#god of darkness#rwby ozma#for the record i came to this conclusion when i watched rwby for the first time years ago#i was VERY surprised seeing that people thought Oz would take over and Oscar would disappear#and confused too#and the merge is pretty important to understanding Oz#if you don't understand the merge you likely don't understand Oz#the entire reincarnation process is an unwilling kinda fucked up version of Ascension#its change but its unwilling#change is good! but how the curse is... yeahhh#what is Lights problem. anyways#yeah its integral to understanding Ozpin#he's not gonna go back to being Ozma. he ISN'T Ozma anymore#he needs to be his own person. away from Ozma and the curse. Ascension will fix him 100%
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ok so Samuel is a mountain lion, a puma, right? A species of animal whose historic range is almost entirely just north America, never seen the old world and all that. And it's very much just a loose pattern, but later echo games including TSR have made a pretty obvious push to depict characters as animals native to the region their from, so there's no real reason that wouldn't apply to Samuel, you know? But also like, he's got himself a set of pretty round ears, huh? Pumas tend to have more angular ears we'd associate with felidae cats, Samuel's lean much more panthera. Kind of a lot more like true lions, when you really think about it. Anyway, in this post I'll go into the specifics of my reading of Samuel as an Afro-Indigenous character whose identity and albinism tie together the way he's fetishized and objectified by the mostly European clientele he sells himself too and-
#the smoke room#samuel ayers#echo project#And I don't want to hear about Tsela lumping him in with Cliff#This reading is obviously predicated on him being very removed from this identity#And all of these people being buff animals who can seamlessly reproduce with little hybridization#Means it'd be both extremely easy to integrate into colonial forces#But also super easy to lose ones culture and roots in that exact process#So argue with the wall on that particular front lol
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we might be locking in slowly. finished my volunteer work today and did more thesis reading.
#I do not enjoy it. the process of it#but I like when I'm reading something and I get a eureka moment of like OHHHH I COULD INTEGRATE THAT BY CORRELATING IT TO X#AND CONTRASTING WITH Y#awesome
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Can you talk more about how you decided to convert through conservative judaism over reform and what the process was like for you? I've been going to a reform shul for a while, to the point where I know everyone who regularly comes and I also love our rabbi. It almost feels like a second home, but I realized recently that I think I agree more with Conservative views on halacha and would prefer converting through that stream, but I also don't wanna leave all the nice people I've met so far, and also the nearest conservative shul is over an hour drive away :( I thought I'd just convert through reform anyways but maybe talk about keeping a conservative level of observance for my conversion, but I feel like it would be dishonest to convert reform if I don't agree with their fundamental views on halacha and such. It's hard thinking about leaving the community I love, but I also feel that I'd get more of what I personally want out of Judaism from a conservative conversion. Would really love some advice on navigating this if you're willing!!
I'll preface this by saying that this is included in my FAQ, so if you want to check that out, you might get more information that I might have forgotten to include here.
What I fundamentally believe people should do in the conversion process is to do what is accessible to them. If reform is accessible to you, I don't see why you would have to upend yourself and leave behind your pre-established community.
To me, movement means very little. If you've converted halachically (which reform absolutely can do and does), you've converted. You can be a reform jew who follows or believes in a myriad of things - I doubt a rabbi is going to say, "now, I want to convert you, but you don't believe only in the Reform Positions, so it looks like you can't be converted." If anything, a rabbi would be thrilled to hear what your positions are and why. It reminds me of my ITJ class where the presenting rabbi asked if we believed in g-d or not. She literally balked about how none of us voted "no." She was amazed.
I only decided to convert through the conservative movement because it was the most accessible to me. Nothing about the conversion process changed because I chose conservative - I'm still working with a rabbi, I'm still engaged with my community, and I will stand before a beit din and immerse in the mikvah. If I could let you in on a secret... If movement didn't matter to others, I wouldn't even put which movement I'm affiliated with on this blog.One of the most important things in jewish conversion and jewish life in general is having a community. It sounds like you've found that - it isn't dishonest to be in community and to just be yourself (yes, even if you disagree with some aspects of different practices - two jews, three opinions, anyone?). Plenty of people in my conservative shul are more frum than others, and some are less frum. Even within your own movement, your practices will look wildly different than other jews of the same movement. In actuality, we're all starting from more or less the same starting point which is judaism. You have a lifetime to explore the mitzvot and see how you will practice. Nothing about that is inherently dishonest or disingenuous.
#ask#jumblr#jew by choice#jewish conversion#personal thoughts tag#convert FAQs#long post#i see it as converting it *judaism* and not 'conservative judaism'#so i may or may not be the right person to ask this depending on what you need#but part of the conversion process is being in community and naturalizing yourself into jewish life#if you have a community already... i don't see how much would change if you switched that up suddenly you know?#why fix something that isn't broken? ESPECIALLY if you feel at home. isn't that the single-BEST environment to integrate into judaism with?#when you feel at home you are able to actually *learn* and develop and figure out what judaism looks like and *feels* like#i don't want to dictate to you what you should do of course - these are just all of my thoughts#i have very little movement loyalty - if there was a shul i liked that was reform or orthodox or hell even renewal i would just go there!#i practice mitzvot that is accessible to be - not what is expected from someone 'of my movement'#that doesn't seem like it would encourage *my personal* connection to judaism
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Ten years ago today:
January 31, 2015. My journal cover and my entry for that day. I wrote the entry at Lestat’s coffee house in San Diego, California.
I included the quote by Steinbeck which I found in the book “Slow Writing”:
“It should not have any intention save only to be written.”
I like that. I write to catch the feel of the moment or to capture the essence of the present for future review. But, its real purpose is just to be written. The act of writing is cathartic and integrative. It’s worth the writing just for that.
I added the ripped out page of a magazine featuring a hot guy just for fun I assume! Makes the journal review more interesting!
#1/31/2015#John Steinbeck#the book Slow Writing#Lestat’s Coffee House San Diego#writing is cathartic and integrative#10 years ago I had just completed about 6 months in A murder trial. I had flown down to San Diego to begin to process the experience.
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trying new coloring style for chwibis this month...
#a doodley#not completely new ykwim more like integrating new process#my brain keeps fighting me on it and im pretty sure it just makes it take longer to get the same result but idk!#just playing around#its mostly just using a different thinner brush too im just stupid
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don't mind my self indulgence but uhh Touya being healed with the combination of rapidly evolving technology, healing quirks and Endeavor's funding to the point it's like the fire on Sekoto never happened. he looks in the mirror and doesn't recognize the person that looks back at him. the burns were such an intrinsic part of him, even before he became Dabi, even before he woke up sixteen years old with stitches all over his face, back when he was a child and trained his fire with the parts of his body that he he could easily hide under his clothes.
it's nothing like when he woke up from the coma and looked in the mirror for the first time, seeing something his mind struggled to comprehend as himself, the too-old boy with desperation in his eyes and a garish smile cut directly into his face belonging in his worst nightmare that has come true. accepting it back then was easy, the wretched feeling of brokenness following his every footstep since he was four years old. the outside matching his insides was a relief, in a twisted way, as much as it hurt to imagine his family looking at him and not recognizing Touya, as sorrowful as it was to live through that fantasy.
this- just feels wrong. he doesn't see himself in this new, unfamiliar face. what he sees is rather a mosaic of his family's features: his mother's soft white hair, his father's eyes, Fuyumi's eyelashes and Natsuo's stubborn eyebrows. the combination of so familiar but foreign features combined into a mask that was plastered on his own ruined face.
he hated that forlorn looking boy's picture sitting on his altar and he hated thinking that that's how his family remembered him. it's the very same boy's older face that he sees in the mirror.
Touya was never this pitiful, desolate boy. he was always burning, even when the others couldn't see it. being stuck with this hurts worse than being faced with the consequences of his reckless self-abandoning training.
and worst of all, he knows that if he ever starts using his quirk, the cremation process will start all over again.
#idk man i just like the imagine of healed touya dissociating for hours any time he sees his reflection#the dabi identity has become so intrinsic to him even outside of the plane of villainy#this boy has been slowly and inevitably cremating himself from the moment he got his quirk#going out in a blaze of glory was his plan#and instead he is stuck with the choice between never using his quirk#which has always been an integral part of his identity#or starting the cremation process all over again#i think he would cry about it... a lot#especially if they healed him after the battle when he was unconscious#without him giving his consent or even being aware of the procedure#he would be Mad mad lmao#ok bye#bnha#dabi#todoroki touya
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i need to write lilliris fanffiction but...its so difficult to get myself to write.....the frightening google doc perplexes me...
#melee rambles#ive only found one fic out of the like 93 that are out there that i enjoyed characterizationwise#i could get them SOO right......i could make such bangers.........but i dont have anyone who Knows to bounce my ideas off of#its such an integral part of my fic process
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