#intentional or not? youll never find out

[bagofdo-ritos]

The Ceaseless Watchers' Archive

[owlf45]

Sorry for being shippy but… does dabi like, like-like hawks in imaginary? Or is it a “i pity you moderately good looking bird” situation?

ill be fr, i've never gotten to the part in the anime/manga where dabi and hawks interact. i might joke around with them and if i ever catch up on the series, we'll see how it goes from there

[aceoflights]

Alright, so, exactly one person said that I should do a long post about my thoughts on this scene. And that's literally all I needed. So, here I go, I guess. I'll try to be coherent.

This scene (and honestly Colin in this episode in general) really hit something deep in me as a queer person. I think it touched on something that I haven't seen a lot of media touch on in that way, but that I and a lot of other queer people have experienced

So, let's get into the scene, specifically Colin's reactions to everything.

I couldn't find gifs for everything I'm talking about, so here's the scene.

At first they're just talking about how cool Zava is and how much they admire him. And everything is fine. Until Richard calls Zava sexy, and Isaac's response is "Sounds a bit gay, bruv". And yeah, he's not saying "I hate gay people". But look at him and how he acts. He says it with a laugh. In a "you're being weird" way. Now, my point here is not to say that Isaac is homophobic. He is however referring to being gay as kinda weird, funny and almost a bit absurd. Y'know, the kind of jokes straight people make when they think there are only other straight people in the room. This is what closeted people live through every day.

I'm actually gonna put some tags from one of my other posts here. Because, yeah, exactly.

#I watched a few cishet reactions to the episode and #the way they Did Not understand the locker room scene #like that wasn't a funny 'joking with the gay guy' moment #that was a moment of 'we are all straight and the joke IS a gay guy' #like Colin is living in that liminal space of #okay maybe they aren't outright homophobic but they sure aren't openly accepting #and any change to that status quo may potentially make things Very Dangerous #so he just Isn't going to challenge that at all (@king-kal)

#stop acting like its all okay #this is exactly what makes it terrifying to come out #and what gaslights people into believing thier pain isn't real #because yes theres more blatant and explicit homophobia out there #but this does real damage too #and its fucking hard to know where youll be safe when the people around you give no indication that theyd accept anyone queer (@not-a-cheese-thief)

#however much they love him there has been absolutely nothing about them in relation to queer people that indicate they’d be #supportive and accepting #you really just never know which is partly why coming out is so terrifying (@theoneandonlypigeon)

Now, let's have a look at Colin. As soon as Issac says that, he has Colin's full attention. He turns his head, his eyes are on Isaac. And he looks kinda scared. Anticipating. He's listening intently.

When you're closeted, and the topic of queerness is mentioned, especially if someone who matters is around, like a friend, you pay attention. You pay attention to what they say, to how they react. To figure out what they think about queer people. What they would think about you if they knew. Would they treat you differently? Would they start to dislike you even? Or would they maybe be supporting?

As a closeted queer person you can never be sure if you're safe. As some of the tags above have pointed out, nobody is saying anything overtly homophobic here, but nobody is saying anything to indicate they would be supportive either. So really Colin doesn't have any more information about how they would react to him coming out than he did before.

Then Richard says "Well I'm gay". And everyone turns around to him and is like "huh?". Except for Colin. Colin doesn't turn around. He actually turns more forward. He tilted his head in Richards direction when he started talking. But when he finished his sentence Colin looked straight ahead. And imma be honest here, I'm not really that good at analysing facial expressions, and this might well be me overanalysing. But the way I'm reading what's going on here is the following. Colin actively faces forward to not seem that interested in Richards possible gayness. his eyes also widen and then tart around for a second. Which to me reads as, like, "wait, what? could there actually be another queer person on the team?".

I'm not gonna get into Richard actually being possibly gay. Here's a post about that, if you're interested. (Not saying that's what I believe necessarily, but I saw the post and felt it necessary to include)

Then, of course "for Zava". And Colin laughs. But holy shit it's such a fake laugh. Like, I'm serious, watch that scene again and pay attention to Colin's laugh. It it so fake.

While they're talking about "men with charisma that transcends orientation", nothing all that interesting happens.

And then, Colin's joke.

Immediately after he finishes his sentence, he looks anticipating again, in a slightly different way. A short moment of "should I not have said that? Could it give them a hint about me?". Then the others start to laugh and Colin smiles along. He's accomplished his mission. He's blending in. He's a chameleon.

[corvusternion]

HeHe Be CareFul AccusIng OtHers. You OnLy Seem JeaLous Of LusMut.. Do You Wish "Path" Was Your QuadRant Mate InStead

> ok^y ive seen ^ lot of f^lse conclusions ^bout this recently. time to cle^r it ^ll up.

> first of ^ll, im not interested in filling my qu^dr^nts. i ^lre^dy h^ve ^ wonderful moir^il, ^nd th^ts ^ll i c^n ^sk for. you dont know me offline. you ^re not the judge of who i h^ve feelings for. besides, rel^tionships t^ke ^ lot of effort. im not equipped for new ones ^t the current moment bec^use i just b^nd^ged up my leg ^nd currently c^nt even think str^ight from how much this shit hurts, much less worry ^bout qu^dr^nts. (cg, im fine. dont worry ^bout it.)

> second. i ^m well ^w^re th^t my posts m^y come off ^s pitch to m^ny trolls ^s well, but it simply is my w^y of typing. being p^ssive ^ggressive is ^n ^rt form, ^nd i ^spire to become the best of the best. is th^t s^rc^sm, or ^m i being genuine? youll never know. one of the be^uties of this sort of typing.

> the joke post ch^in w^s ^lso very unintention^l. i h^ve no intentions of p^iling. in f^ct, i dont like the ide^ of it ^t ^ll. its not my sticks and stones. or not my cup of le^fw^ter, since th^ts wh^t the origin^l s^ying w^s.

> third. i ^m not je^lous of cc. i h^d minim^l inter^ction with him before this, ^nd will unfortun^tely most likely meet him ^g^in in this hellsite. i just find the possible rel^tionship ties between cc and ta ^re too obvious not to point out. though i didnt expect them both to be so surprised. (•^•)> oh well

> th^ts ^ll i re^lly h^ve to s^y on the m^tter.

[tiredstressedemotionalmess]

1, 2, 7, 9, 13, 22 for party and kobra?

ahhhh omg so many thank you ily!!! this got long as hell bc i kept having Thoughts lmao

1 - Why are they Like That™? What makes them tick ever so slightly off?

it's kind of the same answer for both of them here- repression as a survival instinct. they grew up in the city, and they were both quick to learn they have to hide every part of themselves in order to survive. party in particular learned to push everything down, and when they get out to the zones it becomes sort of unbearable- it all builds up and comes spilling out, usually in the form of anger. and kobra sort of learns from this, and from anger being one of the few emotions he could really truly feel in the city, and so he indulges in the feeling because of the rush it gives him, like a drug. the city taught them both to be ashamed of themselves. it taught them to strike first and always question everyone's intentions and never listen to anyone but yourself because no matter what they say they dont know whats good for you.

2 - How do they react to being injured? Do they just try to walk it off, dramatically wail over a papercut, insist they take care of it on their own etc?

so, when poison get's injured they Ignore It until they and everyone else are out of immediate danger (if there is any). they then promptly become the BIGGEST crybaby, regardless of weather or not its justified. they'll get a paper cut or stub their toe or something and they WILL act the EXACT SAME WAY as they do when recovering from stab wounds and laser burns. they may try and put on a brave face sometimes, but it really doesnt work- injuries are one of those things that makes all their feelings come flooding out no matter what yk? kobra on the other hand does not want people to pay attention to him when he's hurt. he'll (grumbly) accept whatever medical help he needs, sure, but he does NOT want anyone making a big deal about it. it's embarrassing for him, in a way. he hates having everyone's attention on him like that- for the wrong reasons, he thinks- and he doesn't want people pitying him especially because he has a pretty high pain tolerance at this point so he really does mean it when he says hes FINE. fights absolutely ensue when he gets hurt and poison insists on babying him- to them its out of love but to him its just mockery

7 - How do they react to finding out someone has been keeping secrets from them?

party gets all aloof and bitter about it. "no it's fine- it's whatever its not a big deal" they'll say as they're like. holding back tears and biting back the urge to vomit. obviously they know that everyone's gotta have their secrets to survive out in the zones, and they understand to an extent, but they cant help but feel betrayed when they find out something was deliberately kept from them, especially by people they consider friends. they tend to cut people off for keeping secrets, they distance themself, and depending on the perceived severity of the secret they wouldn't be opposed to absolutely DESTROYING this person's reputation- calling them a snake behind their back and shit. the thing about keeping secrets from kobra is that he usually knows. he may not know exactly what the secret is, but more often than not he can at least tell there is one. and then its case by case from there. how long were they keeping this from me? what lengths did they go to so i wouldnt find out? how many times has this happened before? if its something really important, he can and will get physical over it (and even if its something trivial, he'll usually get at least a punch in to make his point clear). if he knows youre keeping things from him and it goes on long enough, he'll usually confront you and try and force it out too. basically the longer it goes on the more it posses him off and the more likely it is youll find youself waking up behind a bar with half your teeth missing

9 - Get in, loser, we’re going back to middle school- what’s the edgiest song you associate with this character? (if you associate any songs with them, that is)

hmmm middle school you say? fuck it this was my intimidate first thought for party (i would've also said fuck you by the used but kobra's is also by the used so yk. variety)

and kobra's

13 - If they could do anything without any consequences, but only once, what would they do?

kiss ghoul. yes this is a ttid thing but its also just general party to me bc i main jet/party/ghoul- ghoul's the one they have the rockiest relationship with. ghoul's the one they're the most terrified of messing up with because they have no evidence he'll forgive them like jet always does. ghoul has no reason to stick around them or give them the time of day if they fuck up, and they would only risk making a move like that if they knew for certain that nothing would come of it because honestly. all outcomes good and bad fucking terrify them this is going to sound fucked up- and it is! but kobra and party's whole relationship is fucked up- they're the type of siblings who hate each other but would also kill/die to keep the other safe. and somewhat following that... if kobra had the chance to do anything he wanted with zero consequences, he would kill party. no consequences and all, they wouldn't stay dead and kobra wouldnt want them too, god, itd destroy him if they ever died for good. but after everything, all the years of fights and hatred and being stifled under them, compared to them, living in their fucking shadow, being controlled by them- part of it might be some sort of revenge, but honestly, it'd mostly be to just see how it feels. to finally know what it'd be like t get in a fight with them and not have to worry about holding back, to be able to just keep hitting and hitting and hitting until they stop fucking hurting him like it seems like they've been doing since day fucking one. he'd never admit this out loud, but if he were given the chance he'd take it. and itd probably be the greatest thing hes ever done

22 - Do they ever want to return/go to Battery City? If not, is there something that could make them change their mind?

there's always been a part of poison that wants to go back and try and find their parents. because despite everything they did to them, tp kobra, there's always gonna be a part of them that loves them- that believes it wasnt really them who said/did all those things, it was the monsters bli turned them into. they have memories so old and blurry they might just be dreams, of their dad's real smile and their mother's laughter and they miss that. they already broke kobra out, and they're stronger and a better fighter now so obviously they could do it again, obviously they could save them right? they'd never set foot in the city again otherwise, not unless they were going in to save someone they loved when kobra first got out to the zones, all he wanted was to go back. the city was his home and he was stolen by the sibling who abandoned him. and he was finally making progress, too- they couldve finally fixed him if party hadnt broken in and ruined everything! and then reality sinks in, slowly but surely. and he realizes that he was dying in there- it was all so much worse in hindsight. some nights he thinks about the city and his chest aches like he's missing something, and he fucking hates it because he would rather die than even think about going back. the city made him hate himself, and he'd never go back there because of it. but more than that, hed never go back because he's terrified because he knows a part of himself would never want to leave

[tenpintsof-sundrop]

do you think youll ever write a part teo of this fic? LOVED IT

https://www.tumblr.com/tenpintsofsundrop/726291912400814080/push-and-pull

Read It Here: Push and Pull - Emily Prentiss x Fem!Reader

Straight up - no. I won't be writing a second part of that fic.

I know that a lot of people wanted to see a 'continuation' of that fic, and I honestly find that kind of... insulting? Because I really do not feel that it needs a continuation, and I never wrote it intending for it to have a continuation. And please don't take this personally, because your message is one of many that I have received about this fic, and I just find it kind of frustrating in general.

I know that smut and sexual content is a huge part of what lures people into reading fanfiction in the first place, and as you guys can tell from the things I write, I really enjoy sexual content too.

But as a writer, I don't just want to be 'the porn factory' - I put a lot of thought into the type smut that I write. The driving force behind all of my fics is not just - writing sloppy, horny smut, it is writing about character's lives, their emotions, their relationships, and how that comes to a culmination through sex.

I know a lot of people consider Push and Pull to be an unsatisfying or 'incomplete' fic because it features the build up to a traditional smut scene, but it does not feature the actual detailed, spelled out smut scene, and when I was writing it - that was a choice that I made. I made a choice to end off the fic on a teasing note of anticipation so that the reader can use their imagination to picture what happens next, and also because the entire fic, the essence is about teasing.

It's about how Emily has been teasing the reader all night, even unconsciously - so I thought it would only be appropriate that the audience should get teased with the ending happening right at that moment.

Lots of my other fics have detailed, graphic smut scenes, and I have written thousands and thousands of words worth of smut with different characters - if you want smut about Emily specifically, there's this fic that I wrote which spells out a lot more details of a smut scene. But please know that whenever I make a choice for my fics, it is always with mindful intention.

Even if I have the consideration in mind to possibly continue a fic in the future, the ending is always very mindful on my part. Sometimes, I feel like writing THE END in big bold letters on a fic just so people know that the ending was intentional, and there is not supposed to be a continuation.

But anyway - thank you for asking, but there will not be a continuation of that particular fic. It is meant to be a standalone, short fic with an implied sex scene at the end.

[bunnakit]

E and/or X for the fluffy prompts? If i was supposed to send in a pairing too, lets pretend i didnt know, and youll get to choose regardless 😌

FIRSTKANAPHANS FLUFF PROMPTS 🧡

[E]avesdropping To Find Out If They Like You

Tay had only stepped outside for a moment to take a call, he was sure it had lasted no more than five minutes at the most. When he turned to reenter Hum Bar he was stopped short by the sound of a quiet conversation around the corner. It was barely audible through the muffled sound of music and busy voices on the street but he was sure it was two of the guards that had been sent with them tonight. Who were they again? Arm and Paul? Sure, that sounded close enough.

It wasn't that he intended to eavesdrop but Tay had always enjoyed hearing what guards had to say when they thought no one was listening. It was a good way to get information, blackmail material, or just good gossip. He leaned in the dark, blue-lit alley way and listened to their conversation closely to see if there was anything worth gathering there.

"At least he and Khun Time are finally over, for now." He was fairly certain that was Arm, but the relief in his voice was a surprise.

"Not like you're going to do anything about it." The deeper voice was Paul- Pol? Pol, that was it. But what did he mean by that? Tay stiffened slightly, wondering if there was some plan against him he didn't know about. Was he in danger? No, Kinn would never... Well, he would, but he couldn't think of any reason he'd be worth the effort.

"Of course I'm not, I like having all my limbs intact, thanks." Huh?

"I don't think Khun Tay is cruel, you'd probably just get punished by Khun Kinn if it went badly." Tay chanced a glance around the corner and watched Pol stub out a cigarette against the sole of his shoe.

"I'm content enough with where I am, Pol. I know my place." Arm had taken off his glasses and was cleaning them on the bottom of his sweater and Tay was briefly struck by the thought of how handsome he looked. The dim neon lights caught the intensity of his eyes and the sharp planes of his face.

"You mean Khun Tay looking at you like you're gum on the bottom of his shoe? I don't get you but whatever. I think you could at least try taking him out on a date or something."

Oh. Oh. That was definitely interesting. So Arm harbored feelings for him? How naive... And sweet.

"Khun Tay deserves better than me, Pol." Arm rolled his eyes and stepped away from the wall as if he was going to leave, and Tay didn't want to lose to opportunity here.

"Enjoying the evening, gentlemen?" Tay smiled as he rounded the corner, enjoying the way they both stiffened and Arm paled at the sight of him. He always enjoyed the way his heeled boots echoed in the halls of the estate, but he found the sound of them on the slightly damp concrete was equally enjoyable.

"Khun Tay." They each offered a wai and Tay chuckled softly, his eyes turning to Arm where they would stay.

"Our apologies, Khun Tay. We've had a bit too much to drink." Pol laughed nervously, clearly trying to cover the tracks of their conversation.

"Arm hasn't had a single drink all night." Tay pointed out and watched as Arm lifted his eyes, perhaps surprised Tay had noticed anything at all about him. "But that's beside the point. Arm, I'd like you to accompany me to dinner tomorrow night. I'll get it cleared with Kinn."

"Of course, Khun Tay. Is there anything I should know about the event?" Arm immediately asked, all propriety and professionalism.

"There's no event, Arm. Just dinner between us." Tay smiled before turning and retreating back inside Hum Bar. He enjoyed the choked surprise he could hear behind him.

Arm may be 'below his station' but it was clear he had a kind heart and good intentions; things Tay had sorely been lacking in his life.

He was interested to see where this would go.

[starlieshifts]

my experience with shifting

disclaimer/things to know: ive been shifting for almost 6 years. id like to think i know a lot but i definitely dont. dont take my opinion as a fact.

as i said, ive been shifting for almost 6 years. not attempting, just shifting. i find shifting easy enough. it's an art form. some believe in the consciousness theory, some the multiverse theory. there are others, im sure. me, personally, i dont have one specific belief system. ive always just kinda set my intention and gone with it, but any theories do make sense.

the one that makes the most sense to me is the m theory. we're literally moving to different realities and living our best lives. ive gotten married, had children, fought wars, written books, won awards, met so many different people, saved lives, LIVED a million of them, and im only a teenager. i know things my family will never know. i rarely talk abt my experiences, but they'll always be real.

the people i never thought id meet are some of the best friends ive ever had. i wouldn't trade the art of shifting for anything. its given me so much ability in my cr and helps me do daily things. yeah, maybe i dont remember the french i learned in my dr anymore, but i still learned french. and came back with that knowledge. like bro. that's some crazy shit

ive had powers. like, mind-control and shit. ive had aphrodite as a mom (that's literally insane). in my cr id never cooked anything but in my dr i can cook a whole 10 course meal ??? ive had people scream my name while im on stage. people heard my music, people watched me on screen. i had people begging to have me in the casts of shows they'd already fancast. that's such a boost of confidence istg. ive called people out 😋 ive done TONS of shit. im not even halfway thru.

if you told me when i was eight or nine that id be besties w taylor swift in another reality, idk if i wouldve cried or laughed.

shifting is the absolute realist thing youll ever do in ur entire life. if you have doubts, or you took a break and dont know how to get back in, just lay down and think abt ur do. do methods. dont do methods. imagine scenarios. imagine all the food ur gonna eat. imagine all the things ur gonna do. imagine performing. imagine battling ur enemy. imagine anything u want. affirm. do it do it do it.

[manvsdiary]

1- i had two dreams last night

a- an old lost friend writes a video essay thinking back warmly on something we did together (that he absolutely didnt actually write and i think i mayve just been lucid dreaminf for the first time)

b-

2- idk what kind of love i can provide

no cynics (okay, reasonable ask ina dating profile)

no sapiosexuals** (okay cunt now youre just being funnt)

but actually, i don’t know how attuned i am with being a Romantic. ive been a Romantic before— i mean, ive tried. i remember having been corny, lots.

but you list interests like being a poet and being a musician and MAYBE womens heads jump to this thing like youll be fiery and spanish with these occupations. not so, not with me. the poems i write (and more often than not they just occur to me, a fraud) are poignant little miniatures. or neologisms. or just experiments. theyre never love poems. not once have they been. the musics id like to write are like gizmos, experiments in unhinged jazz and industrial design. not love songsX

these are occupations done to appease a sickly, vain* interest in formalism, not to channel devotion.**

so what kind of love do i provide?

what kind of love even can i provide?

what kind of love wont i ever provide?

*)

**) the thing here is that some people who purport to have a boner for brains will cull romantic advancements from what is, essentially, orthogonal activity. youre going to just be doing your normal shit, the shit you will do because its your fixation or your livelihood or whatever, and they will track that as progress in their attraction. maybe that works for some people. maybe it lets them doublelive: advance their academic career and their love life all at once. not me. i dont care for that. i dont care for ‘sapiosexuals’ and also anyone who describes their science or technology as ‘sexy’ and i think they must all be suffering from some kind of short circuiting basically between what are typically understood to be independent parts of the head. no, im here to practice a kind of animal love: a primitive, tribal devotion between two strangers. to find them and keep finding them and to lick their wounds and keep their soul warm with mine. its not compatiblewith that sapiosexual hogamimy. the attention that i have to give to some math problem is in no way the same as the attention that i give to practice love. and the tricky thing about people geting too many wires crossed is you want— i want whatever love i participate in to be communicated inside a relatively balanced conversation and a shared and intentional conversation and NOT something to blindly take part in in the background as a consistent byproduct of the things that i do when im not doing love. that is what a lopsided conversation is. and having one-sided conversations is how conversations can get away from you— aimed without fault since, regardless of which role is yours, dialogues like that eventually get away from each the less-active and the more-active participants both.

anyways,

anyways, im told bonds form in sharing emotional experiences. okay. i think that to me this sounds true. but what kind of emotional procedures have i got coming up? i dont actually know.

what strife?

or something positive?

where will it be appropriate to open myself to forming a new bond, an attachment, a new responsibility to someone? is obligation a necessary aspect of bondship?

because i do already have quite a large obligation to myself right now. and im still trying to understand the size of that obligation. how to even measure it and understand it and how then to optimize it so i can get it squashed out fast as i can and open myself to things out past my narrow, visible horizons.

[moonswolfie]

Failing grade

Atsumu x fem!reader

Forgive me Lord, for I have sinned.🤩

I seriously don't know how to write suggestive stuff since I've never done it before so I apologise if it's cringe 〒▽〒

also i kinda forgot who has the lower bunk so let's pretend osamu does because that makes it better, youll see what I mean soon ( ╯□╰ )

Warnings: making out, a couple of swear words and that's it

"Mmmm..." Atsumu made a small hum of satisfaction as his lips connected to yours. This isn't exactly what you expected when he invited you over for an emergency study session.

Normally you would scold him for doing something else instead of studying, but admittedly, that was a bit hard to do when his mouth was on yours.

The opened notebooks were scattered across the table in his and Osamu's room, filled with half-finished notes. He pulled you closer, your chest pressing against his.

You felt his tongue brush against your lower lip. You jumped a little when you felt it and he laughed into the kiss. "Ya got cold feet or what?" he mumbled teasingly.

"Atsumu, we should be stu-mmm!" He cut you off by roughly pressing his lips against yours. This asshole. He was totally trying to get out of studying math by "seducing you" or whatever he calls it. Oh well, he'll be the one getting dissapointed when you still demand he studies after he's done.

And you're getting a make out session out of it too, so there's basically no cons for you. Every once in a while, you don't mind your boyfriend being a stubborn idiot.

You wrapped your arms around his neck and he smiled into the kiss, thinking you've finally given up. He pulled you flush against him by your waist and held you tightly.

One of his arms slowly slid up to hold you by the neck and angle your head better.

Just as he tried to pry his tongue into your mouth again, you heard the door creak open.

"Tsumu, what the actual hell do you think you're doing on my bed?" the kiss broke instantly, with the two of you staring at Osamu with wide eyes.

"Why the hell are you home?!" he yelled, face competely flushed from embarrasment. Admittedly, you weren't doing much better than him. You were mortified right now.

"No, why the hell are you makin' out with yer girlfriend on my bed?!" he yelled back, clearly not (fully) amused by the scene that was unfolding in front of him seconds ago.

"Shut up! Yer just jealous cuz you don't have one an' I do!" Atsumu clearly didn't have an excuse.

"I will beat your ass if you don't get off my bed right this second!" Osamu demanded, and you instantly got off the bed. While you did find their fights amusing, they did get really scary sometimes.

Osamu noticed you looked a bit scared and he took a deep breath, saying "This ain't your fault. All Tsumu's, and I know it. So don't worry, I won't get mad at ya."

He said it in a calm, reassuring tone of voice.

You felt like you could finally breathe properly again. Osamu's face travelled across the room and suddenly flashed with mischief when he noticed the notebooks on the table. "Tsumu, if ya fail this test, I'll tell the whole school it was cuz you were makin' out on my bed."

"...You wouldn't."

"Ya think so?" Osamu raised a brow, smirking. Atsumu furrowed his brows, saying nothing in response. Osamu's smirk only widened with the lack of a response.

"So, ya know, I suggest actually studying for once." he said, turning around and slamming the door behind him. As soon as he was gone, Atsumu covered his face with his hands and screamed into them.

"Damn you, Samu!" he yelled with clenched fists, sliding off the bed and settling back at the table, flipping a page of the workbook with a pout.

Well, you guess that works too. Maybe he actually won't get a failing grade this time.

I just realised this is like a separate spicier version of the "you get caught by their siblings" fic I did recently, I swear this wasn't intentional lol

Also I might or might not delete this later because I'm lowkey embarrased to post this🥴

[cominy-kiwami]

the original ishin is graphically head and shoulders above the remake. maybe the remake has real time lightning but honestly nothing beats a very nice stylization. this series has never been on the graphical forefront and the reason a lot of people think it is is because the neon lit cities ARE beautiful and a lot of people still believe that beauty=graphical fidelity.

the ps2 games had a unique style and they were the only ones to feature things such as cartoony movement lines and kiryus jacket swaying in the wind as he runs. yakuza 3 and 4 were ultimately a step in the wrong direction visually speaking. the playable characters in those games are interesting to look at, particularly kiryu in these games fits perfectly in these games while also having a different art style from every other character and looking the most interesting. but the cities themselves didn't have much going on

yakuza 5 was the first game in 4 years to feature a new engine and they made various marked improvements to lighting and models that make it a quite pretty game, and then ishin made several modest changes to the style that would go on to be used until kiwami. ishin has nicer models but as a sum of everything i think 0 looks the nicest in the series because it can make full use of the lighting that a spinoff taking place before the invention of neon lights cannot, and it doesn't use an purposefully muting color filter like kiwami, though kiwami alters the way shadows and general lighting work in a way that is quite for the better. go into club deborah in kiwami and youll find its like a dream.

the dragon engine was a significant paradigm shift that took a while to recover from. yakuza 6 took a role as a tech demo in SOME capacity and so the lighting had to be immaculate and i cant deny that it is, but in terms of intent yakuza 6 follows the principle of 3 and 4, which is to say next to no stylization and particularly 0 postprocessing effects. kiwami 2 and judgment came out in the same year, and they both tried to solve this problem differently. kiwami 2 used the same graphics as 6 while putting an incredibly egregious and strong green filter on everything, which gives it a unique visual identity to be sure but is essentially a bandaid. judgment and subsequently y7 went for the more sensible approach of actually introducing post processing. y7 edges out judgment visually because it has a non-overbearing yellow filter that makes everything look incredibly opulent and shimmery, while judgment has the post processing but keeps the y6 no-filter approach. theres an argument to be made that the more serious and dark murder mystery story benefits from a no-nonsense presentation while the whimsical heros journey dragon quest type game is smart to make things look more aggrandized. im just thinking y7 looks better in a vacuum.

so there we are. 0 and 7 are the best looking games in the series

[brokensoulblog1998]

insecurity is a motherf*****, as of late it has been getting the best of me and im not proud of it at all, ive struggled with that feeling for as long as i can remember, ive really never had anyone to openly share any of these types of feelings with so writing it all out feels really good. i wanna learn to love myself the way i love other people and heal myself where its needed so i can finally be happy and move on with my life. being in a long term relationship for the past two years ive been very toxic and lashing out and i feel so ashamed for putting my loved one through my raging mood swings becasue of past trauma or getting insecure over every little thing an picking fights so i can be right. i never noticed my toxic behavior how it affected my loved one and how it ultimuatly ruined my relationship my partner my self. and honsestly since i promised my self i would always be honest here with my self i think the  real reaon i get so insecure is because ive given up on myself compelely, i stopped doing things for me i stopped taking care of myself and just started sittiing around crying and complaing about all the little things i needed to change but really never ever made that effort to change any of those things. i no longer wanna be that girl, im ready to actually put myself first and get out if this rut. i cant keep blaming him and freaking out because he like another girls picture or because he wants to stay in touch with his bestfriend thats a female like those things shouldnt make me insecure i cant expect his wjhole social life to stop just because hes with me. yes i hate that fact that for 30 seconds he looks at a pitcure of another girl and likes it but like he has reassured me so many times that im sure hes tired of doing, none of that crap matters hes a guy at that a younger guy and just because he likes or talks to another girl doesnt mean is intentions are to replace me or cheat on me cause if he wanted to do that he would have. its been two years since this ride to hell began and im ready to hop off. im ready to just let all off that go and just be together. i have to get ovet the fact theres always gonna be other girls and more pictures to like but as long as things are good at home between us and we dont let all that shit on the outside get in well be okay and i know he would never do anything to hurt me hes always been a blunt straight foward kind of guy i just worry sometimes because hes also the kind of guy to tell you what you wanna hear so youll drop it, and i hate that i think that one thing about him fucks with me constantly, but i need to learn hes not my prisoner hes my lover and if were ever gonna get out of this, if im ever gonna get out of this rut ive been stuck in i need to learn to let go and if i dont like something about myself its up to me to change it no my loved ones to tell me what i wanna hear just to comfort me. at one point in my life i knew how to embrace myself and be confident that girl is in me somewhere its just up to me to find her. i honestly dont know if anyone will ever come across this or read this or relate to this im just a girl trying to let go of all this crap i hold in and sharing here makes me feel like this will help me not do that so whoever is reading i hope you know you are not alone im lost to looking for that girl that was once happy and didnt let all her inseuriies destroy her

[lovelybucky1]

single dad

warnings: dad’s best friend! steve, female reader, age gap, daddy kink, stealing panties, male and female masturbation, unprotected sex, mentions of breeding kink, 18+ minors dni

youre home from college for the summer and steve is a single dad and he asks if you would help him out by babysitting his kids during the week. he pays well but you wouldve done it even if he didnt, because, look at him.

everything is normal for the first couple weeks, but then he starts to invite you to stay for dinner and you get closer with him which only makes your crush on his bigger

after a while dinner, dinner turned into dessert, dessert turned into staying for a movie, and movies turned into sleepovers

steve felt bad for making you sleep on the couch, so he let you take his bed. you loved burying your face in his sheets and smelling like him even after you’ve gone home. he even lets you “borrow” his shirts and boxers to sleep in, but you never give the shirts back.

you start to pack your own clothes when you know youll be staying over at steve’s, that’s why you didnt notice you left something behind

in fact, you dont notice until your next stay. you’re going through steve’s closet to find a shirt when you see a very familiar pair of women’s underwear hanging out of a box on the top shelf

you try to reach them on your tippy toes but they’re too high up. you jump for them, but the thumping got steve’s attention. he sees you trying to reach something in the closet and he asks if you need help, not knowing what you’re reaching for

his voice makes you jump and you feel like you’ve been caught red handed, even if he’s the pervert who kept your underwear. he walks behind you and thats when he sees what you’re reaching for. his face flushes red and he starts to explain himself but he’s stammering too much for it to make sense

“why do you have these?”

“you left them here last week”

“and you kept them?”

“i meant to give them back…”

“but theyre in a box in your closet.”

“i didn’t want anyone else to see them…”

“if you were going to give them back, why are you just now telling me?”

“uh…”

“i think i should go”

“no! dont leave, i promise i’ll give them back”

“that doesn’t change the fact that you kept them”

“i can explain…” you look at him expectantly. “you’re… so beautiful. you’re gorgeous and funny and just perfect, but you’re way too young for me. i can’t date you, i shouldn’t even be telling you this in the first place. it wouldn’t be responsible of me to peruse you, so… i didn’t.”

“so what? you didn’t want to take advantage of me and you thought that taking my things for your fantasy material is any better?”

“i know how it sounds, but i never had bad intentions. i’m so sorry”

you look at him with your hands on your hips and your eyebrow raised.

“give them back, steve.”

he wordlessly complies, getting the box down from the top of the closet and handing you your panties. you take notice to the other various sex toys in the box, including handcuffs and a blind fold, both of which will be added to your own fantasies about the man.

you put your panties back into your bag and you look up at him again.

“you know, if you wanted fantasy material, all you had to do was ask. god knows how many times ive touched myself to the thought of you”

steve freezes and looks down at you, trying to process what you just said.

“i’ve even done it in your bed a few times.”

“you have?”

“mhm”

“in… my bed?”

“yes, steve.”

“while wearing my clothes?” you nod.

“and you got mad at me for taking your panties? it sounds like your worse than i am, doll”

“am i? im not sure if this is the same”

“why wouldn’t it be?”

“it’s normal for girls my age to like older men, but you… what would your ex wife say if she saw you with a college student? better yet, what would my dad say if he found out about this?”

“are you trying to blackmail me?”

“no, i’m just making sure you’re aware of the risks.”

“risks of what, exactly?”

“of fucking me the way you’ve clearly been dreaming of.”

something changes in steve’s demeanor. he’s no longer embarrassed and ashamed of being caught, all he can think about is doing exactly what you said: fucking you the way he’s been dreaming of.

he walks over to the door and shuts it, being careful not to slam it so the kids dont wake up. when he turns his attention back to you, the lustful look in his eyes makes you shiver.

“get on the bed.”

“make me, old man,” you smirk

steve huffs and crosses the room quickly. he sweeps you off your feet and tosses you onto the bed behind you. your back hits the mattress but steve’s body covering yours keeps you from bouncing

“you’re awfully mouthy for someone i pay to fuck themselves in my bed.”

“you’re awfully mouthy for a panty thief,” you counter

he growls and slots his thigh between your legs, pressing it against your pussy.

“it’s only fair, right? you steal my clothes, i steal yours. the only difference is my clothes are frilly and pink, and i’m sure they don’t smell nearly as good.”

he roughly pushes his hand up your shirt and gropes your breasts over your bra. at the same time, he buries his face in your neck to suck and nip at your skin.

you tangle your fingers in his hair and tug, making him moan against your neck. the vibrations tickle but his thick body on top of yours keeps you from squirming away.

“you can’t get away from me, sugar. you’re all mine now and i intend to keep it that way,” he says into your ear.

he takes his hand out of your shirt and pushes it down the front of your pants to feel your pussy. you’re wearing panties similar to the ones he look, and he can tell by the texture.

“lace again? if i didn’t know better, i’d think you were expecting this.”

“expecting my dad’s best friend to creep on me? not exactly,” you reply, but your words dont have the same impact when you sound as breathless as you do

“here i thought you’d be good for me,” he huffs as he pushes your panties to the side. “i guess all those fantasies of you sitting there and doing what you’re told wont happen, huh?”

“they might,” you gasp when his finger slides into you. “only if you promise to give me a raise.”

steve picks his head up and looks at you with a raised brow.

“we’re having sex and you’re thinking about money?”

“if sex is going to be a part of my job now, i want compensation,” you giggle, and for a moment, the dominant act steve has put on cracks, and you can see the sweet man you fell in love with underneath

your laughter turns into moans when he slips his middle finger inside you. he curls both to rub at your g-spot, and you swear you see stars. your hands clutch his shirt tightly, holding on for dear life because you’re convinced this man is trying to kill you with sex.

“please fuck me, steve,” you whimper quietly

“see, now you’re gettin’ sweet,” he grins down at you

he pulls fingers from your pussy, then his hand entirely out of your pants. you lift up your hips so he can pull them off, but he leaves you to strip your shirt off by yourself.

his eyes widen as he admires your naked body. you can see on his face that you’re even better than what he imagined, and his twitching fingers tell you that he is desperately trying to hold himself back.

“please, daddy,” you ask again, hoping it’ll be enough to get him to do what you want.

luckily for you, it works. he pulls his pants down just enough to free his cock. you marvel at the size, but he doesn’t give you much time to look before he’s on top of you again.

“can i fuck you raw, baby?” he asks, his voice lower now than you’ve ever heard it.

“yes, yes, i’m on the pill,” you nod.

“mmm, that’s too bad,” he says as he teases your folds with the head of his cock. “i’ve always wanted three kids,” he winks.

your breath catches in your throat at his confession, but the feeling of his cock pushing into you steals any words from your lips and replaces them with a long moan.

“fuck, sugar, you’re tight. better than i imagined.”

you hook your ankles together behind his back to push him deeper inside of you. he moans quietly and starts to thrust shallowly, needing the small amount of friction before he goes crazy.

“take your shirt off, daddy. i wanna see you.”

he looks down at you with half lidded eyes, already having been taken over by his lust. he complies and quickly removes his shirt, then tosses it to the floor near your clothes.

his chest and thick, and shoulders are broad and he looks like he could carry a car with ease. he must notice your staring, because he puts both hands on your hips and tenses his muscles, flexing for you. you can’t stop yourself from reaching out and squeezing his firm bicep that dwarfs your hand.

“god, look at you. so fuckin’ perfect for me. never thought i’d have you like this,” he breathes as his thrusts find a rhythm. 

“you’re so deep, daddy,” you whine

steve fucks you at a consistent pace, all while looking deep into your eyes with his dark blue ones. his mouth hangs open just slightly, and the stream of curses that flows from them will be the soundtrack to your fantasies for a long time.

the tension in your stomach has been slowly building, but your orgasm came crashing over you quickly after steve started to rub small circles over your clit with his thumb.

you were too lost in your own pleasure to notice when his own orgasm had started, but when you regain your bearings, he is fucking his cum back into you, making sure not a single drop leaks out.

“steve?” you say groggily, your eyelids already feeling heavy

“yeah, honey?” he asks, pulling out

“can you sleep in bed with me tonight?”

“of course”

[elysianslove]

cheering you up ; haikyuu boys

synopsis; different ways the haikyuu boys care for you and cheer you up when you’re sad

pairings; karasuno x reader, nekoma x reader, aoba johsai x reader, fukurodani x reader, shiratorizawa x reader, inarizaki x reader

genre; fluff

warnings; none probably a bunch of mistakes lmfao

note; i had to repost this like 3 times rip. anyways, im sorry for not adding inarizaki on my last one jbshds but they’re here now!!

karasuno ━━

sugawara koshi; i definitely think he's so in tune with you, and your emotions. he learns your cues very well, and knows every little thing about you that there is to learn. if you're having a bad day, he'll notice right away. he won't comment on it though. all he'll do is these little things to try to cheer you up, but it's going to be very subtle. he'll let u rest ur head on his shoulder, run his fingers through ur hair. he'll sneakily buy u ur favorite snack. doesn't bring anything up until you do. ends the day with cuddles and a chick flick.

sawamura daichi; he notices but he doesn't really know how to react. not because he doesn't know what to do, but because he doesn't want to trigger you or deepen your sadness in any way. he's very careful with you. if it's something throughout the day, he's very quiet and tender with you, just silently lets you rest your head against his chest and rubs your back/arm tenderly. as you're walking home he asks if you want to talk about it, and reminds you that it's good to, but it's also okay if you don't want to.

nishinoya yuu; not a single sad moment with mr noya here. seriously you cannot breathe. ok but in all honesty, when you're sad. he's sad. sends you memes, and you'll be laughing at them with tears streaming down your face because you don't really know what you're feeling anymore. he does a lot of tiktok trends with you, any of the couple ones. grabs your faces and ,,, smooch all over. until you have no choice but to laugh. if you want to cry even more, he'll watch the notebook and the vow a thousand times over, and be a sobbing mess next to you. just don't tell the guys okay? <3

kageyama tobio; he's so.   bad. at this please help him. like he can tell ur sad, bc he's v good at reading people. but like. what the fuck is he supposed to do. anyways. when u two get to be alone and he kinda notices how quiet you are, he just nudges you slightly, and pulls you to him. it's easier to talk to you, he's calmer, when he can't directly look at you. when he feels you start to shake in his arms, feels the wet tears down your cheeks as you start to sob in his arms, his heart kinda breaks. all he can do is hold you, but it's what you need. and he'll listen too, if that's what you need as well.

tsukishima kei; i think he notices, but doesn't bring it up at all. the way he goes about it is he'll tease you to try and bring a smile on your face. because this is tsukki, and you know him well enough, you know the truth behind his jabs, enough to appreciate them. if it doesn't work, he'll just start to make fun of people in front of you, pointing random people out with you and just being like "wanna bet on what's making their relationship fall apart" this sadist i stg. like suga, he subtly makes you feel better until you yourself approach him about whatever's upsetting. actually gives 10/10 advice bc he's v honest.

asahi azumane; he's so empathetic oh my god bruh. notices immediately. "baby what's got u so upset" w a big pout on his face and when u just mumble "nothin" so low he barely catches it and instead throw yourself into his arms, he gives you a big, certified asahi bear hug. doesn't leave your side at all. constantly mutters sweet nothings and encouragements. if you do the bare minimum like make it through class he'll meet you after and be all "im so proud of my pretty baby". cuddles all day. all night. he's not very good at advice but he is the best listener !!! so attentive and you'll feel a huge weight lifted.

tanaka ryunosuke; "aight who do i need to jump" type beat. u love him so much though. that one sentence and sentiment already has you feeling better. immediately hugs you so tight, borderline suffocating you. "wanna ditch school". 100% willing to do so. he doesn't really know whether to approach it with distracting you or facing the obstacle head-on, but he finds a middle ground. eats your feelings out with you. saeko pulls out the embarrassing ryu pictures and suddenly you don't know why you were ever sad.

hinata shoyo; is really oblivious for a bit tbh. when he first meets you at the start of the day and his hyperactive self is greeted by your duller, sadder self, he doesn't think much of it. it's when you don't react to him or interact with him the way you usually would that he starts to notice you being off. he's actually super straightforward about it, and approaches you with some of your favorite snack that he bribed ukai to give him for free and just "wanna tell me whats up, baby?" he's so, so easy to talk to. immediately you're venting. and he listens to intently, gives stupidly good advice. it's like such simple approaches to your problem but?? it works. anyways you love him.

yamaguchi tadashi; will be super worried about what he could do to make it better, and kinda just tries to feed you as much positive energy as he can. once he's comfortable with people, he becomes really chatty, so i see him talking your ear off with the biggest smile on his face that you have no choice but to kind of ? mimic it? he just radiates goodness and sweetness that it shifts your own energy. he on some witchcraft shit on god. anyways when he walks you home or something, he'll just stop for a min and avoid your eyes when he says "ik u dont feel the best, but i dont want you to have to hide that from me, okay?" stan tadashi <3

nekoma ━━

kuroo tetsurō; drops everything. i mean it. i genuinely think kuroo would be such a good boyfriend that he'll sense it and text u as ur getting ready for school and be like "are u sad i feel like ur sad". you dont really wanna worry him and you'll just reassure him ur fine but he's already at your front door in — not his school uniform. insists the two of you take the day off saying "its fine babe im super smart". you two will spend the whole day just simply existing, talking when needed, he listens to you if you vent, and tries to come up with as many options of solutions for you so you don't feel weighed down. he'll make sure you eat even if you don't have an appetite, and will try to make u do something productive bc in a lotta cases, it could help you feel a lil better yk :)

kozume kenma; i pretend i do not see it — kozume kenma (2020). jbwjwks im jk. he's like tsukki in the sense that he will never address it, and he doesn't outwardly approach you about it. if it's just an off day for you, and you also happen to not have school, you'll go over to his house, hoping to feel a little bit better when you see him. "can i have a kiss, sunshine" to which he responds "why." you just go "im sad" and he gives u a big smooch. he'll have you lay on his lap while he plays his games, occasionally just sneaking in a peak at you to make sure you're okay. he'll ask if you wanna play to get your mind off things for a while. eventually, when things wind down a bit, he'll just mutter "yk i love you, yeah?" and that lights up your world hehe

haiba lev; as soon as he notices you're sad he just ☹️. he picks out a small flower and as soon as he sees you, he just tucks it by your ear, and smile so brightly and youll just be like "oh my god lev please stop being so cute". he won't really know what to do tbh, but the way he's so lost makes it so heartwarming and it honestly cheers you up all on its own. he just. "would a kiss make it better" and if you nod he'll just start kissing all over your face so softly, until he finally kisses your lips. when he pulls away he asks "again?" with a cute smile and if you nod he'll just kiss you over and over again. very simple way of cheering you up, and very foolproof tbh.

yaku morisuke; i think throughout the day, he might pester you a little bit about telling him what was wrong, but after you keep insisting you're fine, he relents, and decides that maybe giving you your own time and space to open up to him is better. he tries not to act differently in that sense, but he finds himself being a little more soft spoken, and gentler with you. i just had this image flash in my brain of you resting your head on a desk, head turned to the right, and then yaku comes and sits to your right, putting his head on the desk and facing you. and just. "hi :)" your heart melts. he kisses your forehead softly and tells you you're wonderful, in case you've forgotten. if, or when, you do open up to him, he'll be very eager to listen, and ready to fight off whoever upset you.

yamamoto taketora; this man is angry. like properly. "who the FUCK put a frown on my baby's face. speak the fuck up. i won't hurt you. ill just mutilate you." if you tell him that it's no one, and that you're just upset, he'll be so confused but he'll just nod and be like "okay. okay. do you want a hug?" and he'll hug you so tight. he'll admit that he doesn't like seeing you like this, and that he'll do anything to make it better. at first he's very cautious, but then he just lightbulb moment and as soon as you get home he'll be like "karaoke night babyyyyy" and then. no more sad.

aoba johsai ━━

oikawa tōru; very. perceptive. he greets you normally, even if he notices something's off, because he won't want to worsen anything. you meet him right before he has practice after school, and he'll just cup your face, lifting them to brush at your hair, and you just sigh. "my baby's had a long day, yeah?" he'll be very gentle and careful with you, i'm sure. he gives you a kiss, smiling softly into it, and reassuring you that you're much too strong to let a single bad day destroy you like this. he meets you later that night with a lotta ice cream and you two just binge watch any reality show you could find, shit talking the actors together. he himself is terrible at talking about his feelings this dumbass >:( so he understands if you don't want to yk? will encourage u to vent it out though. expect terrible, makes no sense advice

iwaizumi hajime; he kinda like. gets mad? when you continue to be upset and not speak about it? he's not mad at you! he's just. mad. this is iwa okay. anyways. he won't bring it up mostly, only being slightly more affectionate, especially in his hand holding, which is super gentle already as it is. when he invites you over, that's when he actually starts to talk to you about it. he lets you know that there's nothing worse than seeing you like this and not knowing what to do, and that he wants you to be able to talk to him. about anything. even if you think it's stupid. he'll listen, and tell you that it's not stupid if it's making you upset. he cooks for you <33333 then bakes with you <33333 you feel a lot lighter at the end of the night tbh

hanamaki takahiro; (he's so annoying i love him). as soon as he sees you upset he makes it his mission throughout the day to cheer you up in any possible way. spams your phone while you're class with ten thousand wholesome memes. sends you pick up lines. when he meets you in between classes he just yells out "how's my favorite person in the entire world!" and kisses you so wholly in the middle of the school hallway lmfao. while he's walking you home, takes a longer route and purposely, he passes by your favorite store/bakery/ice cream parlor. buys u ur favorite, and pretends to be shocked when you give him a piece. late at night, he'll facetime you, wondering how you're feeling, asking if you needed to talk about it. whether you do or you don't, you two will fall asleep facetiming.

matsukawa issei; the minute he sees you he's like "whats wrong". no hi or anything. he has like this frown on his face, which seems off bc it's rare to see a frown on issei's face, and he just tucks your chin in his palm gently and stares at your pout. "you good, baby?" he can tell you're not, but he wants you to be able to tell him on your own. sticks by your side the entire day, and nobody really mentions it. he talks to you as if it were a normal day, but his voice has a softer edge. he's not distracting you, per se. he's more, talking to fill the space while giving you your own space to think. once you're alone, he'll just drag you to the nearest comfy surface, flop down, and pull you on top of him. if you even try to resist or ask whats going on he'll just "nap and cuddles first." and when u sleep a lil bit of ur sadness away, he'll just let you talk it out as he continues to hold you <333

fukurodani ━━

bokuto kōtarō; just as empathetic as asahi, if not more. he really does feel it all with you. yk sympathy pains that partners get when women get contractions? bokuto is that partner. with bokuto, i feel like he'd never make you feel like you couldn't just straight up text him "im sad" and feel bad about it. if you ever do that, he'll immediately call, not even bothering with a text. if he can't come over, he stays with you until you've cried your heart out and then laughing until you can't breathe. if he can go over, he smothers you with love. repeatedly says "you know i love you, yeah? you know how grateful i am for you?" and in between kisses "im so lucky. so, so lucky."

akaashi keiji; i feel like as soon as akaashi notices you're down, or you're slightly off, he just grabs your hand and squeezes, forcing you to stop spacing out and focus on him for a second. if you're with a lot of people around you, he'll lean close to you and ask if you wanna go home. he'll be so soft and gentle and understanding, making up some excuse on the spot on why the two of you have to leave. if you're alone, he'll grab your hand and kind of tug you towards him, silently asking you to come into his arms, where you yourself know you feel safest. as soon as you're in the comfort of your home together, he'll like run you a bath and slip into it with you, just holding you until the water grows cold and the droplets on your skin are from your own tears. he'll wait it out, just holding you as reassurance, then make sure nothing's stopping you from spilling everything to him.

konoha akinori; when he first notices, he kinda deflates. like. who would wanna see their s/o like that? his smile is gentler when he greets you, and he's so soft with you. he grabs a pen and lifts your palm up, quickly scribbling down in his unique handwriting "i love you :) <3" on your skin, whispering for you not to wash it off until the end of the day. it is weirdly motivating tbh. as soon as the two of you are alone, he says it to you, face to face, an expected look on his face as if to ask "you know that, yeah?". puts on a movie to tune out the rest of the world, and holds you close to him as it drags on. he'll give advice if you're asking for it, but he's a better listener than anything else.

shiratorizawa ━━

ushijima wakatoshi; does not notice. in all honesty, he expects you to approach him whenever you have an issue or if you're upset. he's kinda like ? so confused when you're so down and really unresponsive, until he starts to notice how touchy you are. like you're leaning more into his touch, holding onto his hand like it's your lifeline, stealing his vbc jacket because it smells like him. is very straightforward, and will just ask you if you're okay as he walks/drives you home. kinda just stops in front of your house and presses a kiss to your forehead, then pulling you into a hug. "please don't be upset." he won't tell you that it kills him, but you can sense the unsaid words. he urges you to keep his jacket when he notices how safe it makes you feel. greets you the next morning with a new cactus in a pot hehe.

semi eita; is very cuddly once he notices. you'll sit at a table in school and he'll be sitting next to you, but he just pulls you into him and lets you rest your head on his chest, mumbling softly into your hair "i know you're sad and it's okay." he doesn't say anything else, just holds you there with a few kisses in between until he has to let go. late at night, if your thoughts are still keeping you up, he'll be up too, worrying, and will text you at 3 am if u wanna sneak out to meet him. takes you to the park and lays on the grass with you, picking out stars and constellations in the sky, with a soft soundtrack playing from his phone next to the two of you. he makes you feel secure enough to be sad even if you have all the blessings in the world, and makes sure you know that he'll always be there for you, even at 3 in the morning.

satori tendō; cheers you up by making you forget literally everything. replaces the sadness in your brain with just pure serotonin in any way he can think of. he'll take you to an amusement park, get ice cream with you, take you to the carnival in town, to the park, to the beach, to the pool, take you up to his house's rooftop. literally anything. and then he'll say something like "life's too short to spend it being sad over anything, darling." he's so understanding, and if you're frustrated or something he'll tell you to let it out by like wrestling him or some shit. exhausts you so much and you're filled to the brim with dopamine. he makes sure you're always happy, never seeing a dull moment in your relationship with him.

goshiki tsutomu; freaks out. plain and simple lmfao. but once he like grounds himself, he just softly comes up to you and asks you if you wanna talk about it, or if there's anything he can do. if yes, he'll break his leg running to go do it. if no, he'll just sit with you in silence, leaning over to hold your hand, talking to you about volleyball and his aspirations and how well he's improving. he's better at distracting you than helping you face your issues, mainly because he stresses out about giving the wrong advice or somehow making you sadder. he'll take a lot of pictures of you together on snapchat random filters to try and cheer you up, then later on in the night he'll send them to you and be like "look how cute we are ugh what a power couple" i love this dorkhabsjsks

shirabu kenjirō; i think he definitely notices, but keeps it to himself. he’d maybe think he’s imagining things and that you’re okay, so he’d go about his day normally. he doesn’t see you after school, and that’s when he puts two and two together and realizes yeah maybe you are sad. so he texts you, and texts you, and texts you, and gets no reply, so he just. comes over. unannounced. uninvited. just straight vibes. he’s already ordered your favorite take out, and already settling in bed with you under the cover with the lights dimmed and some chick flick playing in the background. gives the b e s t advice because he’s so blunt. like he will tell you if you’re overreacting, but you’re still his s/o, so he’d like wince as he says it. that’s all the sympathy you’re getting <3 but his bluntness will shock you into laughing hehe

inarizaki ━━

miya atsumu; usually, with atsumu, you’re always experiencing loud days. your relationship is all fun and flirty and suave and cool. but when he notices you’re sad, he goes quiet. like. eerily so. immediately pulls you aside somewhere private if you’re at a public place like school or something, and with his hands in yours he asks you if you’re okay. yk that thing where ur on the verge of tears and someone asks you if you’re okay and you just burst. yeah <3. his heart absolutely breaks and he just pulls you into a hug, resting your head on his chest and wrapping his arms around your neck. he just holds you there, even if you’re missing class/your friends are worried. he’ll stay with you until your tears have dried up, until you yourself let go.

miya osamu; i don’t see osamu as someone that loves pda. i feel like he’d be a more lowkey kinda guy. but if you’re sad, that gets thrown out the window. he doesn’t really in the moment, and won’t think too much when he pulls you close to his side and just wraps an arm around your waist/shoulder. yeah he’ll get looks but he can feel you trembling and shaking from holding back tears so yk, priorities. he’ll definitely stress eat with you. takes you literally anywhere and feeds you as you rant to him with tears streaming down your face and he’s just nodding sympathetically as he stuffs your mouth one bite after the other. romance is beautiful

suna rinatarō; when he notices you’re sad, his first response is alright what the fuck who messed up. he immediately blames someone else, and if he’s right, he’ll only get really agitated. just giving everyone the side eye from where you can’t see as he walks the two of you, your hand in his tight. if it’s not someone specific, he’ll just hum thoughtfully and then nod, before pulling you away somewhere private and just sitting you down and saying “talk.” very, very good listener. i can’t stress this enough. as you’re speaking he’s already thinking of a million different ways to help you solve your problem. walks with you as he traces your hands and just quietly tells you all the solutions.

aran ojiro; oh my god as a boyfriend he ticks all the boxes. he’s great at communicating, always satisfies your needs, is trustworthy and trusts you. the list goes on. immediately knows when you’re off/sad, and just smiles softly as he takes your hand, kissing your knuckles and saying, “let’s go home, yeah?” at home, he makes you some calming tea, probably pulls out some cookies or brownies or biscuits (that HE made but we’re not gonna get into that) and just listens as you talk, whether it’s about why you’re sad or just in general. gives you honest advice, but also a lil biased bc he loves you hehe <3

[foulserpent]

very curious to see how you'd approach fixing the bard's college questline!

heres just off the top of my head. im thinking it has a somewhat comedic (but not outright 100% silly) tone and be really focused on the role of story and song as a chronicle of history. 

the dragonborn joins the college, only to find theyre mostly there to be hired muscle and to help train a more promising bard apprentice by being a muse for their songs- you do the college’s busywork, and they try to write inspiring music about it. 

the apprentice bard is deeply enamored with skyrim’s bardic history and the roles of bards in battle and politics. and they dont like you very much and make scathing passive aggressive songs about you, just bc that would be funny. depending on your choices  they might eventually grow more friendly with you but should never give you the hero treatment. 

the fetch quests for instruments can still be there, but the intent is to play up the humor of the situation (youre hired muscle and this bard who thinks you suck is writing scathing songs about your performance) and diversify the situations a bit

finn’s lute: the lute was stolen by some bandits, one of whom is making bank going from town to town with it as a bard. theyre a charming thief and have a way with words, and no ones gonna side with you over him. he’s very weak and not much of a fight, but hangs out in busy taverns and it will be VERY hard to kil or steal from him and get away with it. you have options as to how to deal with this, including murder, theft, doing him a “favor” (stealing something else for him of greater value as a trade or maybe resolving a conflict with the other bandits), etc. none of the options are particularly glorious and your partner writes a song about the mighty hero begrudgingly making shady deals with a twinkish thief in a tavern. 

panteas flute: a necromancer stole a flute, and now theres whispers of strange music and sounds of revelry in the marshes at night... this is bc the necromancer HAS actually enchanted it to ‘make the dead dance’. you find them in a grove, at the remains of what looks to be some wild bacchic revelry where all the people are dead except for the necromancer. they play the flute, which reanimates the corpses in waves, with some of them attacking you and some just dancing. your partner watches from a safe vantage point and commentates on your performance. 

rjorn’s drum: i dont really remember doing this one ingame. basic summary is ‘find lost drum of a 2nd era battle drummer (who turns out to have been lured to his death in this cairn by a powerful draugr lord) which i think could be interesting.. i guess it would be cool if it could bring the historical element into it more , like we learn about what a battle drummer was. might be corny but it also might be fun if during the boss battle, the ghost of rjorn manifests and plays a warsong that gives you advantage in the battle. your partner joins in

the “tending the flames” quest comes AFTERWORDS and is the grand culmination of events. id want it to be very much steeped in history and kind of exploring the role of the bard in nordic culture. we NEED to be able to read more of the poetic edda since its like, the bardic history of skyrim. 

i think it would be interesting if the ghost of the bard svaknir (who accompanies you) uses the Voice in song form, which im not sure if thats technically just a headcanon or not but it would be really interesting. he definitely should be singing AND fighting (instead of just fighting and yelling) but you cant actually talk to him or get him to tell you the verses. 

once you recover the verse, viarmo is like “god damnit this is barely intact. UGH. come see me later” as-is ingame and the quest is on hold. and this bit might be stupid but here me out:

at this point, you can wait a few days and get a summons to return to the college and complete the quest as normal. but youll hear rumors like “theyre saying that something happened at dragonsreach.. that big dragon skull is gone!!” it adds a miscellaneous quest. 

you go investigate, and theres a big fucking hole in the walls where numinex’s skull used to be. a guard was like “damndest thing. it just went FLYING!”, its implied that this was numinex being resurrected by alduin.

your partner, a devoted bard very interested in the college’s history, is like “HOLY SHIT LETS GO FIND NUMINEX TO HEAR THE STORY STRAIGHT FROM HIM!!!” theyre really enthusiastic about this as a way to both learn this mysterious segment of history and as a more dignified way to save the verses than “making shit up”. you can choose to accept this or to go “no way lol” and just complete the quest as normal by making up new verses. (choosing to visit numinex will gain your partners approval, choosing not to will make them think youre lame)

if you accept, your partner is like “hmmm well all the stories say numinex roosted on mount anthor. lets check there”. you go there, he’s there, but not quite himself. he’ll be willing to talk with you, though very rude. he doesnt care that much about the silly little human festival, but he’s really quite lonely, lamenting about his imprisonment and eager to tarnish the reputation of the foul nord that captured him. one way or the other, you can get his side of the story in order to truly restore the poetic edda. you can go through this without him becoming hostile, and afterwords he can be found here or at the throat of the world, chatting with paarthurnax

either way, the ending is similar- you can tell the story as numinex told it, or you can make shit up like you do ingame. the festival is a success, and the bards college starts treating you like an actual bard. you can now actually play instruments, and earn money in little sidequests to perform at inns and at events and stuff, help write songs, etc.

maybe as a final little thing.. your partner asks you to accompany them to bard’s leap. if you do that, and you jump alongside them, theyll finally respect you . (just a bit) and they can be a permanent companion

[limelocked]

yesterday i had that thought that comes to me every week without fail

did loki actually kill balder or is that just bullshit?

because you see first of all snorre and the prose edda can go straight to hell, i put it in the garbage and thats where it shall stay, its a cool piece of writing but based on snorre being a politician and it being an attempt to make a whole belief system Make Sense (something a belief system should never do, just look how it worked out for christianity and ye ol schism) it has no worth to me

so we’re looking at the poetic edda here, a mess of a book if you’re looking for a bible (asatro edition) but its what we got so anyways i have my very annotated physical copy in swedish and i read through it (im not done, its the size of stephen kings It and im no good at reading, specially not some of the archaic shit this book has to offer me) and i notice that nowhere does it say that loki killed balder

so i go on wiki ca months ago and the english wiki cites two stanzas as proof that loki killed him because in the lokasenna he literally confesses to the crime! (st 28) 

now i thought that was weird as hell so i take out my translation and instead of saying “after all im the one who made it so that balder will never ride home again” it says “i will make it so youll never see your son in the hall” which isnt an admittion of guilt, its a threat! and freja in the very next line backs that up with “senseless are you loki who willingly brag about your evil intentions” so its not a thing hes done yet and lest i forget to mention but at the end of this story loki gets captured and put under snake torture for the rest of non-ragnarök

so anyways this is all shit ive said before but yesterday id had EnoughTM so i went to check on the icelandic source

1: i will never again trust icelandic people to make a wiki page, lokis page doesnt have a single reference or citation mark 2: i found on archive.org, the website that makes the internet redeemable, that the university of michigan had digitized the poetic edda in icelandic so i went to look at the appropriate bit

“Enn vill þú Frigg, at fleiri teljak mína meinstafi, ek því ræð, es ríða sérat síðan Baldr at sölum.” is what it says

now

i dont know icelandic 

but im south enough to understand some danish which like... its closer to icelandic than northern swedish is at least, so with that, frantic googling after dictionaries (hard to find), guessing, and unhelpful glances at google translate

i got “do you still want frigg, to judge/doubt my character(this is the bit im least confident about), im not bothered, if balder then rides to the halls”

WHICH STILL SOUNDS MORE LIKE A THREAT THAN ADMITION OF GUILT

like i am Desperate to know how the hell that translation got an admition of guilt out of this threat in a poem thats full of threats, in a book thats even fuller of threats

cant fucking believe loki only killed balder in the english dub and the live action reboot

like in every other story its like yeah höder (balders blind brother) was the dude that killed him and it somehow involved mistletoe like my man could literally just have brought balder into the field left of asgard and gotten him killed on pure accident

lokasenna is literally just loki talking shit about everyone then being tied up to be tortured for the next forever my man was a bastard not a killer