#is a specific but recurrent situation for me with one friend in particular

[unfavorableinstigation]

Need to thank my lesbian friend for coming over and making some ill advised generalizations about Men because now Boyfriend understands the concept of Wamen on a much more intrinsic level

[im-the-punk-who]

Hi! I read your dog training post and firstly - so sorry people are idiots. I’ve been wanting a dog (not puppy) and everyone tells me I have to stay home with it 24/7 and if I work outside the house I shouldn’t get one but your post kinda seems to me that that’s what I SHOULDNT do since my dog won’t be properly socialized if I’m with it constantly like that. I’m interpreting that correctly right? If so then a lot of the dog owners I know are idiots too lol

Hey! So - yes and no. Lol. It really depends on the age of the dog you get and their particular behavioral needs but in general, no please do not do that lmao.

If you get a true puppy - like under 6 months - yes, you should plan to spend at least 6 months not being out of the house for more than 3-4 hours at a time. (The younger the dog, the less time you can have it be alone, and the longer you'll need to do that.)

This is for two reasons, but really the biggest is that puppy bladders are tiny and their attention spans are even tinier. I never actually consider a dog 'housetrained' until it is 14 months or older because that's when they pass through their adolescence. The time from 9-14 months is a REALLY BAD TIME TM for both dogs and owners, lmao. It's when most behavioral issues crop up, and also when the dog goes through a lot of biological changes(whether or not the dog is fixed, but particularly if it isn't) and this can crop up in a lot of weird gastrointestinal shit and a recurrence of potty issues. Just liek when you're stressed and your stomach acts up, dogs get the same. And if you're home you can make sure this doesn't turn into a longer term potty training issue.

The second reason you need to be home with a puppy is that otherwise they are *alone* - which is where the socialization problem comes in. If you have other dogs, animals, or people in your home this is less of an issue. But honestly either way, people should be bringing their dogs to get structured socialization from the time they are 16 weeks old. From birth until 18 months is when dogs do the bulk of their social learning. (I know that 'experts' like to say that you only have until the dog is 16 weeks and experts are dumb as shit. This *is* when they do their best learning, but a dog can *learn* to be social at any age. I have worked with dogs as old as 10 who learned proper social behaviors.) Any learning done before adolescence is finished is going to be the best learning because a) the dog does it while it's in 'baby' mode and is *seeking* biologically to learn, and also because they don't have to unlearn any bad behaviors. And frankly, humans are not equipped to teach dogs dog behaviors(unless you're like me and have been trained in behavioral work).

This is because when humans interact with dogs, we're frankly shit at teaching boundaries. Which is one of the biggest and most important lessons a dog is ever gonna learn. If Fido learns when he's a puppy that a dog growling at him means back the fuck off, he is gonna be a lot smarter about trying to approach a growling dog as an adult and also, that growling dog is gonna be a lot less threatened by a dumb little puppy than a full grown dog. (Now, obviously, do not bring your puppy up to a truly aggressive dog to learn. But even well natured dogs will growl when a puppy is annoying them. And a REALLY well trained dog will give them a small nip or bite if they truly cross a line. This is IMPORTANT. and GOOD. because that tiny bit feels a lot bigger to a tiny puppy, and they're going to remember that boundary without having ever been in true danger. And, they'll have learned BODY LANGUAGE OF DOGS. Which is another thing dogs are GREAT at teaching that humans aren't. And the more of this stuff you can have your dog learn by observation (whether that's on a pack walk, at a structured play group, or by even watching other dogs play at the park, the better that dog's brain is gonna be growing up.)

However most of this doesn't apply to older or adult dogs who have already been socialized. Now, if you're specifically looking for a rescue dog who has anxiety, or has been under socialized, yes I would say you need to be prepared to spend time with the dog when you first get it training it, teaching it that it's okay to be alone, etc.

But if you're just looking to get a well adjusted adult dog, then no, after the first few days your dog *should* have already learned these skills, and should able to be left alone for at least 6 hours. If that's not true, your dog needs a trainer to address whatever fear or anxiety it is having about being left. Now, you should probably plan on taking a long weekend when you first bring your pup home to really make sure the dog settles in, bond a bit, and make sure there aren't any surprise behavioral issues and *get the dog a dog walker if you're going to be out*. Even if later you realize it isn't needed, I always recommend getting a dog walker if your dog is gonna be alone for more than 5 hours. Dogs need socialization even when they're adults and not only does this mean they get exercise and attention during the day, it also takes the pressure off you to rush home and deal with your very bored attention starved pup who is probably crossing their legs.

But - to sort of answer the question - no, you should absolutely not pamper your dog when you first get it by spending every second with it because then when you *do* go back to work or heck, if something happens and you want to spend the night out with friends, family, or go away etc, your dog is going to have A Mental Breakdown TM. In my mind a big part of having a dog is building both 'alone time' and 'structured play' into their day. Even if I'm home all day, I will leave for 1-2 hours and my dogs go in their crates. And also every day they get either their 2 hour walk when I take my client's dogs, or if i'm off we go for a 45 minute bike pull so they get their mental stimulation.

It's just like people - socialization is not JUST for socialization, it's for mental stimulation and being around the same person day in and day out is a little like asking the same person 'how's the weather' every day and calling it mental enrichment. And I really just want to shake people who went through an entire pandemic being locked in a house 24/7(even with roommates or family) and were complaining about all the mental stress that caused and then turn around and think their dog could possibly be happy never seeing anyone but them. Like?????? Please. PLEASE lmao.

Anyway you should absolutely get a dog even if you cant spend every second with it, as long as the type of dog you get is conducive to your living situation and you are prepared to spend at least 3-4 hours a week purposely letting your dog interact with other dogs *or* getting a dog care professional to do it for you. <3 <3 <3

[daydreamers-sys]

I just want to say thank you so much for answering my question so quickly and having enough patience to educate me and help me understand. I’ve reread your answer numerous times and have done my own research based on what you have told me. from the bottom of my heart I truly appreciate it, it’s been difficult for me to do any research on OSDD or to understand myself and you have really helped me, so thank you. if I am a system, your kindness has been the first step in helping me discover myself, so thank you very much. much love to you.

You are so very welcome. I’m glad we helped!

Here are a few more things to consider: I’m going to list out the diagnostic criteria for different dissociative disorders in an easy-to-read format, as well as the differences between OSDD-1a and OSDD-1b. This will be under the cut as it’ll be pretty long!

Dissociative Identity Disorder

Most of these criteria are cross-referenced from the ICD-11 and the DSM-V.

1. Disruption of identity caused by the presence of two or more personality states (alters) who each have their own way of reacting and relating to the body, sense of self, and environment. The disruption in identity is accompanied by alterations in affect, behavior, consciousness, memory, perception, cognition, and/or sensory-motor functioning.

2. Recurrent gaps in the recall of everyday events, important personal information, and/or traumatic events inconsistent with ordinary forgetting. (This one is only in the DSM-V, not the ICD-11. As a matter of fact, the ICD-11 states, "Alternation between distinct personality states is not always associated with amnesia. That is, one personality state may have awareness and recollection of the activities of another personality state during a particular episode. However, substantial episodes of amnesia are typically present at some point during the course of the disorder," under the Additional Clinical Features section of the DID category as opposed to the Essential Features section.)

3. The symptoms cause clinically significant distress or impairment in social, school, work, and/or other areas of functioning.

4. The symptoms are not better explained by cultural or religious practice (or, in children, imaginary friends/imaginary play)

5. The symptoms are not caused by drugs or alcohol (e.g. blacking out while under the influence and doing something you wouldn't normally do), nor are they better explained by another medical condition (e.g. complex partial seizures).

Other Specified Dissociative Disorder

1. Chronic and recurrent syndromes of mixed dissociative symptoms. This is associated with less-than-marked discontinuities in the sense of self and agency or alterations of identity (OSDD-1a), or episodes of possession in an individual who reports no dissociative amnesia (OSDD-1b).

(OSDD-2, 3, and 4 are non-system dissociative disorders, so to stay on topic and for conciseness, we've left those out.)

Unspecified Dissociative Disorder

This section is directly from the DSM-V.

This category applies to presentations in which symptoms characteristic of a dissociative disorder that cause clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning predominate but do not meet the full criteria for any of the disorders in the dissociative disorders diagnostic class. The unspecified dissociative disorder category is used in situations in which the clinician chooses not to specify the reason that the criteria are not met for a specific dissociative disorder, and includes presentations for which there is insufficient information to make a more specific diagnosis (e.g. in emergency room settings)

DSM-V PDF Link (start at page 291) | ICD-11 from The WHO's Website Link

[stella-monstrum]

Creep (2014); Masterpieces don’t escape accountability (Rated R; 1hr 22 mins)

In this circumstance, I am incredibly guilty of judging a book by its cover. Netflix is hit and miss when it comes to hosting a film that absolutely blows me away, let alone drive me to such internal rage and passion for weeks after the fact.

Cinematic poster for Creep (2014). (Source: YouTube)

Upon the ever-so-familiar scrolling journey, the silhouette of a man in what appears to be workout gear didn’t immediately jump out at me. Upon further inspection I discovered that James Blum (founder of Blumhouse Productions) had a hand in this film. I allowed my soft spot for Blumhouse to make the decision to watch for me.

Before we begin I want to put a disclaimer. I have not seen this specific side of this film being talked about or covered. I applaud Mark Duplass and Patrick Brice for creating something very different in the serial killer/thriller genre—let alone within the confines of found footage. I am a fan of both genres individually, but Creep in particular I have a lot to tear into.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Plot:

Freelance videographer Aaron (Patrick Brice) responds to an anonymous online ad that offers $1,000 dollars per day. The ad brings Aaron to a remote part of the mountains, where he meets his boss/subject Josef (Mark Duplass). Josef explains that he’s a soon-to-be father who might not get to see his son’s birth due to a recurrent cancer diagnosis—specifically a “Baseball sized tumor that is inoperable” only two months prior to beating the disease that had spread to his liver and lungs. (This hit extremely home for me after losing my father to stage 4 stomach cancer that spread in a similar way. But I’ll get to that connection later.)

Josef hires Aaron to film a very personal documentary of his daily life (“tubby time,” hiking to a legendary lake that cures disease, etc.) to show to his unborn son in the event that Josef passes.

Josef and Aaron bonding at the “Miracle Waters of the Heart” (Source: IMDB)

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

The hope and upbeat personality of Josef in spite of his cancer struggles made me immediately connect and feel for him. With each passing moment, there’s a bond between Josef, Aaron, and I (from a first-person standpoint). Josef also has an odd sense of humor which includes “jokingly” trying to drown himself, scaring the shit out of Aaron on multiple occasions. These kinds of events escalate very quickly.

Connecting with a creepy looking wolf mask and acting different when putting it on.

Taking photos of Aaron upon his arrival to the cabin.

Sending him odd DVDs of himself after Aaron avoids Josef’s attempt at trying to make friends.

Sending Aaron a musical locket with both of their photos in it.

Ultimately, things get progressively worse. Josef steals Aaron’s keys, cluing into the fact that Josef isn’t quite right and most importantly dangerous. Which you can see at 1:44 in the trailer here.

Josef as Peachfuzz the friendly wolf. (Source: Google Images)

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

With Josef’s behavior, it made me believe that the “baseball-sized tumor” was affecting his judgment and were ultimately symptoms of a personality disorder. According to thebraintumourcharity.org;

“Personality changes are most common when a tumour is located in the frontal lobe, which controls your personality and emotions. It also controls our ability to regulate our behaviour and restrain ourselves, so tumours that develop in the frontal lobe can cause behaviour that's considered socially inappropriate.”

I get what Mark and Patrick were trying to portray before ultimately revealing that the whole circumstance was a blatant psychotic lie. I will hand it to them on the fact that they captured every single very real fear attached to Craigslist, Ebay, & Facebook Marketplace.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Now you may ask, “What’s there to be accountable for?”

It isn’t uncommon for filmmakers to have disease as a focal point to drive their subject to doing some pretty nasty things. As someone who lost a loved one to cancer recently, I don’t agree with Mark and Patrick villainizing cancer (intentionally or not) for the majority of the film. I also don’t agree in other circumstances either. It’s disappointing and dampened my enjoyment for what would be a masterpiece otherwise.

Obviously in the news, there’s been many occasions where men and women fake cancer to scam others. In Creep they do push that button to bring a very real fear to the surface.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

As a viewer, you still felt for Josef when he admits to lying:

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’ve seen doctors, tried medications, but nothing has helped. It’s led me to do terrible and inappropriate things.”

In Creep canon, fans have believed that Josef suffers from Schizotypal, a mild form of schizophrenia that presents itself as the following (according to Harvard):

“Loners who prefer to keep their distance from others and are uncomfortable being in relationships. They sometimes exhibit odd speech or behavior, and they have a limited or flat range of emotions.” But the depiction extends beyond that scientific blocked off description.

Plus, this theory has not been confirmed by either Patrick or Mark.

Mark Duplass’ performance was heart wrenching, creepy, and on another level for found footage. This film haunted me so much, and provoked so much internal thought. Ultimately, though, filmmakers should be held accountable (at least by fans) for making a poor choice, and this article is trying to do exactly that.

The two-part Creep franchise is very thought-provoking, and I look forward to seeing how they come about adding a third installment. There sure are a lot of current-day situations to choose from. But the filmmakers need to do so in a way that doesn’t villainize illness—mental or physical.

If you or a loved one experience mental health struggles, here is a compiled list of resources.

[bigskydreaming]

Making this its own thread so as not to take over @northoftheroad​‘s - but about that scene with the memories from Nightwing Rebirth annual #1....tbh, I wasn’t terribly sad when that didn’t come back into play because I kinda hated this scene, lol. And it sucks because like, it COULD have had an entirely different vibe, but as usual, it comes down to execution, and like.....agency. I know, my favorite word, but like.

The problem I had with this scene (and my caution regarding the way Taylor’s talked up Babs’ importance to his run of Nightwing), is there’s this line between bringing other characters into Dick’s own title to lend a supporting hand or even for their own specific area of expertise....and Dick like, becoming the guest star in his own title. And for me, personally, that line tends to be most apparent when Dick stops feeling like he’s in the driver’s seat of his own stories and instead is just riding shotgun while other people make decisions that have far more to do with his life than their own.

This COULD have been a great scene, IF the decision for the memories needing to be kept and the malware studied had come from Dick himself.....much like, y’know, the memories did. If upon Dick deciding that there was a reason they still needed to exist outside and independent of him, be a safeguard or used for some purpose, Babs made the same vow of keeping them safe, like, that would have been great! That’s an expression of concern, of RESPECT for the importance, the significance of what Babs is holding in her hand there, rather than just a scientific curiosity, a puzzle to be studied.

But instead, the way it was kinda framed as just Babs knows best when the actual topic of weight wasn’t the technical specs or the scientific how/why of what was being studied, but rather SHOULD it be studied versus just destroyed....that was the problem for me, because that was absolutely, one hundred percent not Babs’ decision to make. They were Dick’s memories. He was the one left exposed by their continued existence in that form. It wasn’t just the sensitive information those memories contained, the intel on hundreds of others of Dick’s family and friends and teammates, their identities and weaknesses and all kinds of other stuff pertaining to people beyond just Dick himself, many of whom Babs has very little connection to herself, in comparison to Dick’s connection with them....and their trust in Dick having that information about them, which is not unilaterally blanket trust in others having that information by extension or proxy.....it was also just. Sensitive stuff, sensitive to Dick himself, stuff he was no doubt sensitive about. And this was just brushed off and moved past without a second glance, because the writer considered Dick’s concerns about HIS memories of secondary importance to what Babs could do with them or learn about the technology/from them.

And again, it would have been entirely different if that decision had come FROM Dick. If the scene, the issue in question had been framed around him making the executive decision on what to do about these memories, and Babs lending her aid in whatever HE decided should be done with them, including study them or keep them safe as a back-up of some kind.....there’s zero problem!

But the fact that Dick is written objecting, and then those objections brushed off as inconsequential by the writing on the exact same page like, makes it all the worse, because it demonstrates that the writer was aware, LOGISTICALLY, of various reasons why the memories shouldn’t be kept that way......but that reasoning was kept divorced from all examinations of Dick’s perspective of the situation, his own vulnerability, from any kind of other angle beyond just logistics. Like emotional. Proprietary. Even uncertainty, like ‘I don’t know how I feel about this, can we take a beat for me to get my head back on straight after everything that’s just happened to me and revisit this after I’ve had a chance to think about it,’ that would have been fine.

Anything but just.....raising the issue of ‘maybe this isn’t a good idea’ and moving past it two panels later with full speed ahead, without any further exploration from Dick’s own POV why he might not be cool with this or with his objections treated as like, a PERSONAL issue rather than simply a LOGISTICAL one.

Because that ultimately is the heart of the issue. Dick was effectively overruled as though his objection was logistical only, rationale based, and Babs’ opinion ended up carrying the more weight because her rationale was better reasoned and the logistical issues addressed by her declaration of keeping it safe.

Problem is, it was never just a matter of logistics, and this is where the writing failed the story, and the characters, by not recognizing that Dick’s objection should NOT be capable of being overruled by someone else’s logic or rationale, because there’s very little that’s MORE personal than a person’s own memories, and treating it as anything other than a personal issue that only one person had the ultimate right to make the judgment call of what to do with those memories moving forward, is taking eyes off what’s actually being talked about.

Tbh, I do consider it fairly surprising - even if I’m not sad about it - that Percy’s work here wasn’t referenced more in the Ric Grayson conclusion, because I think a ton of how that was approached was directly based on the foundation of a lot of Percy’s own takes here. This same problem reared its head again later in that same issue when the writing again had Dick raising valid concerns when he brought up the matter of his memories again, and wanted to know where they were being stored.....and again, Percy’s answer to that was to have Babs overrule Dick’s feeling this was ‘need to know’ information for him by saying you don’t need to know that.

Again, its frustrating because the writing then continued to demonstrate an awareness of the flaws in Babs’ argument here, with Dick continuing to present possibilities like “what if you’re the next target of today’s villain and thus can’t keep those memories safe any more than I could in the first place, like let’s take a second to acknowledge that you’re as much of a target as Batgirl that I am as Nightwing, and just as vulnerable to being captured and mind-probed”....its just, the writing then proceeds to effectively change the subject immediately AFTER Dick poses these questions but BEFORE any answer is actually given, almost as if to get his objections on record and logged, before like....moving on with the story as though those hugely pertinent questions were ultimately irrelevant. LOL. No. They weren’t. Its just the writer chose to frame them that way in order to keep the focus on everything as purely logistical and Dick’s logistical sense here being not even lacking, but BIASED......but with zero acknowledgment anywhere in the story that like, he had a right to that bias, that bias was real yes, but also reasonable, because those memories were HIS, lol, and every issue he had with them, about them, about what was done with them, was one hundred percent valid and should never have been subject to someone else’s veto power.

And there’s no point to having a character speak up for himself, raise issues based on his own personal feelings and rationale on things pertaining to HIM.....if you’re still going to treat everyone around him as having veto power over what he says or does or thinks on these matters. Either without any acknowledgment of that being what these other characters or doing, or basing their ‘right’ to do so on some flimsy rationale of him being too biased or emotional or subjective on the subject, as though all these other characters don’t have their own biases and emotional perspectives, and he’s no less entitled to his than they are, and he’s far MORE entitled to what decisions are made about HIM and things that are HIS, than they are.

(Also, sidebar, but I also trace a lot of the problems I have with Babs and other characters’ declarations of knowing more about Dick/knowing him better than he knows himself, like, directly to this annual and the whole scene in the Batcave-on-wheels. I believe Castelluci, the most recent Batgirl writer, has flat out said that she isn’t that familiar with Nightwing’s character, and so I think a lot of the objections I have with how she approached Dick’s character ultimately stem from the likelihood that Castelluci’s take on him was informed mostly by like, this very annual and other recent writings, with no attempt at a more diversified reading of his character before writing him.)

Anyway, point is, I kinda hated that scene, because I have a huge beef with scenes that have Dick speak up about stuff that’s about HIM first and foremost.....when the writers then proceed to steamroll right over everything he says as though its irrelevant. Like lol no. HIS VOICE SHOULD GET TO BE THE LOUDEST IN THE ROOM WHEN THE TOPIC OF CONVERSATION IS HIS OWN LIFE OR THINGS DIRECTLY STEMMING FROM IT/AFFECTING IT.

This is a hugely recurrent thread in a lot of different issues with his character, with them all ultimately just spilling out of a weird refusal to keep him in the driver’s seat of his own life.

And again, it could have gone down ENTIRELY different. Every single decision and ramification from that scene could have existed just the same, without any significant plot alteration, but with 100% less problems, if the writing had just framed all those decisions and ramifications as springing from Dick’s OWN decisions, logic, wishes, rather than in OPPOSITION to them. The only thing that needed to be different, IMO, was just....keeping him and his choices, his own rationales, and his RIGHT to them, as being MOST in focus in that particular story and sequence of events.

And also again, just for the record, this has nothing to do with it being Babs in that scene and everything to do with just....the issue itself. Which is a problem for me with any and all other characters whose choices are similarly prioritized over Dick’s own decision-making process, even when the decisions are about him and his life, far more so than their own. This isn’t Babs-specific, it just tends to come up a lot with her due to the mere fact of like....how often Babs is the one in Dick’s stories or title, compared to other characters like Jason or Tim who cross over relatively less....but still usually create or raise the same problem when they do.

[justseveralowls]

You are not alone series: Anxiety

Hello, I am trying a new series based on spreading awareness and trying to end the stigma/misconceptions about various disorders/diagnoses. I am these posts that will help educate and alleviate some of the feelings of isolation and loneliness that can come with mental health struggles. Read on if you or someone you love struggles with this. You are not alone and your struggles are valid. (Sources at the bottom)

Common Types:

Acute anxiety: This is the type of anxiety that occurs as a natural part of everyday life, this can be something like nervousness before a meeting or occasional racing thoughts. A key difference in this is that the symptoms are occasional, not constant, and not disruptive or overly distressing in everyday life. This particular sort is experienced by virtually everyone. 

Generalized anxiety:  Marked by chronic and persistent anxiety most days for over six months. Covers a variety of fields, not one specifically.

Panic disorder: Recurrent panic attacks, either triggered or unprovoked. These attacks are often associated with physical responses and come on quickly and often without warning. Fear of having more attacks can lead to more anxiety, even triggering the development of phobias.

Social Anxiety: This is a disorder closely related to specific phobias. This is anxiety-based upon fears of social or performance-based situations. Usually, these are centered around the fear of being embarrassed or humiliated. This can prove debilitating and occur across different social settings (school, work, friends).

Specific Phobias: An intense fear or aversion of a specific object or situation. Marked by persistent and irrational worries surrounding the object of the phobia, out of proportion to the actual danger surrounding the object.

Many people find themselves aligning with many types of anxiety, don’t be concerned this is fairly normal as many of these types can overlap or co-occur. For the purpose of this post, these are the main types I will deal with (OCD and PTSD will hopefully have their own separate posts).

By the numbers:

Now this section contains some base averages and statistics around this type of struggle. For math-minded people (like S) this can be helpful for putting things into perspective. Feel free to skip over this if it’s not your cup of tea.

Anxiety Disorders are the most common diagnosis in the United States;

Over 18% of Americans every year are experiencing one of the above forms of anxiety. Globally the number is estimated around 13% (Following statistics are from the US Source is linked)

Generalized anxiety 3%

Panic Disorder 2.7%

Social anxiety 7%

Specific phobias 9%

Even just by the raw numbers, anxiety is real, it is not as “unusual as it is made to seem, and by no means are the people who experience it alone.

Misconceptions (Basically me on a milk crate yelling)

“Panic attacks and anxiety always mean crying and rocking back and forth on the floor”:

 Nope, although that can be what anxiety looks like symptoms of anxiety are rarely so cookie cutter for everyone.”

Common symptoms that are dismissed or stigmatized include: irritability, being unable to communicate (selective mutism or even just being stuck on specific words or phrases), Sensory overload (being overwhelmed and unable to filter or process sensory information), yelling/ snapping at others, isolation, procrastination, trouble concentrating ect. THESE SYMPTOMS ARE JUST AS VALID AS “TYPICAL” PRESENTATION.

“Anxiety is only a problem for people that are just too high strung”

For the love of socks no, In fact, there is no one default cause of anxiety that pops out anxiety. Factors like genetics, brain chemistry, social environment, life events, personality, and much more contribute to the occurrence of anxiety. 

“Anxiety is simple and not too big of a deal”:

Couldn’t be further from wrong actually. Anxiety is so varied and different in every individual that it’s incredibly complex. Anxiety can also be extremely debilitating and is often co-morbid with other disorders. It is definitely a “real issue” and should be taken seriously.

Final Message/Reminders for fellow humans with anxiety:

Anxiety is a real and valid problem that deserves respect and recognition as much as any other struggle. Anxiety does not make someone weak, strange or abnormal. Living with this takes immense strength. This problem does not invalidate someone’s struggles, feelings, or even preferences.

To those with any of these: your problem is real, your struggle is valid. This is not your fault, you are not unreasonable and you deserve to feel safe and happy. This can get better. And as always you are not alone.

Source one

Source two

Source three

[somarysueme]

WicDiv Thoughts, some overly personal

stiiiiiillllll can’t really put together my feelings about the end and epilogue.  I will say that I liked the ending and epilogue more than I expected to*, and the longer I sit on it, I find more things to like about it.

(* Except for everything about Baal and Mini)

That said, there’s still that huge, unpleasant gap between what I wanted/expected this comic was supposed to be, and what it actually intended/was. I wrote this post after 43 (the “everyone does the thing” chapter), using bits of a half-written reaction to 39 ("Laura did the thing” chapter) to talk about that gap. I decided to sit on it til everything was said and done Just In Case, but I mostly still agree with what I’d written. 

So Here Are My Thoughts

The full pantheon abdicating! This is basically where I expected us to go. Since 39 it seems like the natural place for the story to be headed. Laura’s revelations, along with the Daddy Forgive Us special made it clear that the only way out of the game was not to play it. I was kinda luke warm on that concept, but it made sense for where the story was at that point. I was waiting to see how it actually played out before getting fussy about it.

I give him a C for execution here. Maybe a C+. 

I thought Dio’s moment was great. Jon’s was beautiful. Inanna’s I definitely could have gotten behind if he’d actually gotten to have any of that arc on the page instead of getting put on a bus 30 chapters ago. 

The rest range from “meh” to “yikes.”

I could have liked this, I wanted to like this. Given how much “OKAY” has been miles more thoughtful than Mothering Invention, I was genuinely hoping to like this. I would have loved to see these kids find something more important than godhood to live for. But that’s not what we got.

We did get them realizing that being a god is not worth dying for. Which is good!  And essential! And basically the central conceit of this comic! 

But.

But...  

I really wanted to see our cast value their lives period. And while there was some of that, there was far more of seeing them be humbled. We saw them beaten down until they had no choice but to admit they Were Not Special (or at least, were not as special as they thought). I was hoping for them to find a capacity to value their lives because their lives have value whether or not they are special, but instead it was a story about being humbled, and I guess to me, I just can’t see that what young queer artists need is help being humbled. They need help being valued as people, they need the internal presence of self to command that value be respected, and they need the external support to give them a fighting chance at that.  And not to be That Fan, but that fighting chance doesn’t come from individual actions. It comes from worker solidarity and respect for labor as labor.  It just doesn’t work for me to have a series around the exploitation and consumption of young talent and leave anything material about money and labor practices out of the material.

(McKelvie’s My (6000 F) pantheon has unionized joke, but unironically.)

Anyway this comic was all about Don’t Let This Happen To You.  And that’s a good start, but I was hoping for it to be so much more than that. It could be that this is me looking at WicDiv and wanting it to say something broader about specialness and creativity and mental illness and exploitation. 

(There’s a lot to be unpacked wrt presenting itself as a story about the whole world through all of human history, while also intending to be  psuedoautobiographical for a very specific set of circumstances. But that’s not this post.)

It’s weird because like, Fandemonium already delivered masterfully on Laura learning to value herself outside of godhood.  Laura’s last pre-apoptheosis soliloquy about “I can’t save any of them, but I can still help them” was one of those wham moments that really cemented this book’s place in my heart. Living through Fandemonium and realizing that the gods were people, and needed actual love and support from people who cared about them as people, and that just being a decent friend is something worth living for, fuck!! That’s good shit!! That’s fucking excellent!! 

And for the rest of WicDiv’s run, I was always waiting for the story to get back to that place, but it never really did. 

 (ETA AFTER 45 IS OUT: ok fine I fucking love that Laura saved Luci. Big Gay Hero Girl drags naughty non-devil out of hell and they kiss, fucking A+. But “can’t save but CAN help” is still something I wish the comic had followed up on more. The friendship thing got touched on a little bit too,  but never in a way I found as satisfying as Fandemonium.)

So anyway Luci going Full Diva. Her future is this and her future is nothing.

The longer I chew on it, the more I like it, and the more it seems like the inevitable place for Elanor Rigby’s story to go. It’s a good continuation from where we last saw her have any scrap of agency, but also frustrating in that “the lat time we saw her have any scrap of agency” was basically the entire comic ago. It was jarring to have her go from [One Sassy Line Per Issue] to [Maybe I’m The Final Boss]. Her story suffered deeply suffered from all the time she spent off screen. But despite all that, I’m very much really looking forward to whatever the fuck Laura Wilson’s going to do about this. 

I’m trying not to get my hopes up for Talk Her Down ending. It seems perfectly in line with this series to end with the moral of “sometimes, no matter how kind or brave or caring you are, people you love pick their addictions over living.” That’s a song I’ve already heard live and in person, and I don’t really want or need to hear anyone else’s studio cover.

Uh final thought on 43 is.... Minanke DOES seem to count herself as part of the 12, which still lines up with my Emily Was Also A Fake God theory (Fauxmaterasu theory? Nokami hypothesis? Amaterasuspicion?) but it does seem unlikely to actually be a Thing between now and the epilogue. shrug.

(ETA AGAIN: I had to write out my feelings on 39 and Laura’s own abdication (unpotheosis?) to properly respond to 43. So here’s a draft of another unpublished post that I fleshed out.)

I have extremely mixed feelings about chapter 39. 

First Feeling: thank fuck the pregnancy plot is over. 

Second feeling: establishing abdication as an option established a nice overarching shape to this book. Things have felt directionless for many chapters, but this does make it seem like we are back on some kind of track.

Third Feeling: kinda liking abdication as a general direction for endgame.  For most of the series, I was hoping the whole that there actually was Something Important about the recurrence, but since it's clear now that it’s basically all lies, I like this this angle well enough.

Strongest Feeling: hell fucking yes to Laura’s shaved head. 

(Tangential Feeling: buzzing your own head is good and you should think about doing it. Doing it for catharsis in a moment of crisis is A-OK, but I did it once just because I felt like it and it was fucking great. banishing your high maintenance hair does not cure depression, but it does give you back an hour of personal upkeep every day and the fuzzy head is wonderful to touch.)

Contrary to most of the fandom, though, I absolutely loathed Laura’s monologue here, and the context that it puts around her not-choice. There’s a lot of shitty Hot Takes out there about how mental illness and addition and creation intersect. A lot of people will suggest that being unhealthy makes you a better artist, and what’s more that being a better artist is worth being unhealthy.  This series is unambiguously and steadfastly against that message, which is one of the absolute best and most important things about it!  I don’t want to diminish that.

But that all said, seeing Laura alone in the dark describing “an addicts moment of clarity” was... jesus it was all kinds of personally painful and upsetting. It hurt real bad, and not in the way I though I had agreed to be hurt. And I’m not sure how to spell out why.

I have thousands and thousands of words on why it struck such a sour cord in me, but a lions share can be summed up with “fuck absolutely every story where a Troubled Girl just needed to get traumatized/humiliated/humbled enough to Realize How Bad She Was Being.” Double fuck this one in particular for showing the girl getting over addiction/mental illness by literally sitting alone in the dark thinking about how much she fucked up.  That story is tired, and cruel, and dangerous, and thank Christ I encountered this comic at 30 and not 19 because I would have swallowed it down with all the other poison that Helpful Adults fed me.

But yeah though, her shaved look is fucking adorable as shit.  Neither she nor Britany made any hair mistakes.

ETA ULTIMATE: That last bit is the one thing in this post I don’t quite still stand by. By the end, it’s clear that the above wasn’t at all the story this book was trying to tell at all. I thought WicDiv was trying to tell some Epic Truths, Hard-Facts-About-Human-Nature shit. But despite the sweeping setup (All Across The World and Through All Of History) the book was using a complex allegory for a very specific situation (Selling Your Soul and Name and Life To Creative-Industrial Machines), and that made it muddy.  

(Insert Principal Skinner meme here “Am I out of touch? Was I simply interrogating the text from the wrong perspective?  No, it’s the original creators who are wrong!”)

I’m from a family of mentally ill, addiction-prone, recovering-Catholic artists.  Laura is in my blood. Half the people I love are Laura.  I have Laura’s painting on my wall and her books on my shelf. I’ve sat with Laura’s mother a few years after Laura’s death, as her father now slowly dying in the next room, and listened to her music for the first time. (It was good. It was really good.  And I never even knew.)

These experiences colored my read, but how could they not?  

I do now, I think, understand what Gillen was trying to say- the addiction he was talking about was to stardom, the attention and accolades, and free pass to make your own shit be everyone else’s problem. I understand now that the “art” that the gods made was always supposed to be Not Real Art, that there was no true “message” from their songs- all noise, no signal. It was never about Laura’s art, or even Laura as an artist.  And that was unpleasant to reconcile.

Because when you're Laura, or Elanor, or any of them, life doesn’t have to grant your ill-advised wish before it fucks your head and kills you. Sometimes you fight as hard as you can with every fiber of your being and you’re still in Hell. Sometimes you’re doing all the Meetings and self-reflection and therapy you can manage and you’re still a Destroyer. But the shit you create while you’re down there is worthy of creating. What you do with your too-short, too-fucked time matters. A fucked up life was still worth living because it was your life to live. And... I guess, from the story presented in Faust Act and Fandemonium, I sort of thought that this was what WicDiv was supposed to be talking about. I thought it was going to be about doing something good even when life is fucking you. But instead it is a cautionary tale that  that suggests you could have stopped getting fucked at any time if you had just gotten over yourself and said the magic words.

We spent half the comic watching Laura drag herself through the mud. Half the comic was focused on Her Mistakes, when so little of her circumstances were actually her fault. “Punish Ophelia until she gets over herself” is not at all what WicDiv meant to be about. I imagine the creators would be aghast to hear that’s what I got out of it. But the text is what the text is.  While it is intended (and successful!) at being many other very good things, this one really bad thing is still part of that mix, and that sucks.

Maybe I should have picked up on the discrepancy between my read and the intent sooner. Probably I should have just done myself a favor and stop reading once I did.

2016, 2017 while my life was going a bit to shit, this comic was exactly what I needed. Being in the fandom made my life better and helped me meet cool new friends and get through some of the hardest shit to happen to me since I was a kid. Then in 2018, it slid into source of frustration and soured promise. Now at the end I have no idea if I liked it or not. 

But that’s fine, now that it’s done. The ink is dry, the ritual is over. It’s just a comic book now.  Some pictures I still love and some words I don’t always agree with. A lot of noise, arguable amounts of signal, but not a song I want to play on loop anymore.

I have no real conclusion to draw here. I respect at how firmly WicDiv rejects dark and unhealthy parts of being a professional creator- especially unhealthy things that are generally just accepted as Common Wisdom. I don’t think it took enough care in spelling out what it was rejecting, though, and I do think it was remiss in not finding good healthy things to embrace as an alternative.

All of the above notwithstanding, I have to give it credit for delivering almost exactly what I wanted in terms of lesbian nonsense. That ain’t nothing.

I give this series ?????/∞ and am happy to be safely clear of Kieron Gillen’s Wild Ride

[melodykang]

I guess I don’t want to sound like a broken record, but I think this is a topic that’s really been dwelling on my mind this past week. In particular, I want to explore the idea of the images used in these types of media when trying to carry the message of activism and change. I’ve noticed that the most powerful (and this is strictly my opinion) images tend to be the POOR image in such context. The specific instance that left a mark on my mind was the old, low resolution photo that was floating around on facebook like a ghost, without a clear source, of an older woman smiling next to two younger boys. And the first time I saw this photo was without any context, from post by a faded facebook page that one of my friends had commented on. The more I thought about it, the more it connected to the current situation—and recurrence of the image in other sites taught me that the woman had been a victim of the shooting, and the two boys were her sons. 

I don’t have anything against high resolution images. However, clear, high quality photos of people overwhelmed with emotions that to me, sometimes can feel staged, spoon feed the emotions that the viewer is supposed to feel. And this cannot (again, strictly my opinion) compare to the raw, lower resolution picture that, upon viewers stumbling on it, invites them for further complex interpretations that leaves a large portion to the imagination. And the room for such imagination truly makes it chilling, and horrifying, to say the least.  

But apart from everything, I sincerely extend my condolences to all victims, am awed by the bravery of everyone rising up to take action, and hope for a more inclusive culture here in America. 

[libbieswmp1]

Week 5

What are the main steps Bryony Kimmins talks about in her devising process when describing developing ‘Sex Idiot’?

To start off with, Kimmins’ first step of the creative process was, as she explains, realising that autobiographical pieces were her strongpoint and also goes on to highlight that throughout the majority of her career, they have remained her primary creative focus. The reason for this is down to her feeling most comfortable enlightening the audience on the honest and often complex happenings of her own life, whether they be humorous and lighthearted or tragic and traumatic. She supports this by referring back to her early days as a creative producer/performer which was based around forms like cabaret and stand up comedy.

Kimmins then carries on to explain that she started the creative process of this show with a solid plan that many others had questioned, but she remained confident in herself. She created the story line to open herself up to the creative method of resurrecting previous memories or parts of her life that would aid the story and give it much more personal depth. This is shown through dedicating a small section of the piece to every person that helped her along the way when trying to find out who it was that had given her chlamydia. Again, this is a topic that most would find rather unsettling or bizarre to sit down, watch and possibly interact with, but Dey describes Kimmins as ‘not afraid to focus on explicit, shameful personal experiences, laugh at herself and thereby make connections with an audience’s own hidden experiences’ (Dey, p. 3).

As one of the final steps, Kimmins talks about the layers within her work of Sex Idiot. While being composed in a chronological order due to the final outcome of the show being most effective as an ending, she describes how in every performance of it there is an unexpected, random aspect that I would assume adds a sense of spontaneity to the process. These ‘off the cuff’ moments often become recurrent, possibly adding a new term, leading to a new theme and connected movements to the piece with even more meaning behind it. Kimmins portrays that continuously adding layers into her work was a big help in bringing her back to the serious, main point of the piece in order to keep the audience engaged. She states that’ the crowd are the most important thing. You can feel how they drop off, or they are struggling’ (Dey, p. 25). To me, this indicates that the final step in any creative process for any show must focus on the ultimate connection you have with the audience, no matter how big or small it is. Without a connection, your work will no doubt be under-appreciated.

Explain what Bryony might mean by saying ‘instead of egotistically driving forward to make another show, the form will be dictated by the subject matter’.

I think Kimmins meant that rather than using her previous work such as 7-Day Drunk as motivation from a success and continuing from that to create pieces of a similar theme to increase her popularity, she agrees that she should purely focus on creating work from original ideas and themes that she feels inspired to portray, and Kimmins clearly expresses to the reader that she doesn’t hold many boundaries when it comes to either the subject matter or form.

Give specific examples from a few of her shows where the form comes directly from the content.

Kimmins explains that her work Mega was inspired from her poor childhood and the memories she had as a result of that. She talks through the storyline that she created and then goes on to explain how she ‘wanted to transport the person’ (Dey, p. 13). The form of the show continues to evolve from listening to it through a Walkman, to then listening to it while walking around a council estate, attempting ‘in every possible physical way, try to make that person nine again’ (Dey, p. 14). If the content, story and inspiration had been different to this, then I’m confident that Kimmins would have chosen a completely different form to express it.

Similarly, the show Credible inspired Kimmins to communicate an old friends story, one that would likely have been all too easy for others to relate to in some way. The story follows a young child who comes home from school to her drug-dealing mother, is given a rather pathetic dinner and is then forced to weigh up heroin for her mother to sell. This content is so personal and eye-opening that Kimmins executed it as a piece with only one audience member, brought into the room and given the role of the young girl. I was shocked when I read Kimmins’ description of this show as I have never heard of any piece of theatre like this, with improvisation another key element of the form.

Looking at the practical work Tom Marshman did with you and the wider work within his showreel, what are the crossovers/similarities between Tom Marshmans work and Bryony Kimmins’ work, in form, subject matter and process?

Tom and Bryony are quite similar, in a way, in both the confrontational and perplexing forms they choose to portray their work in and the controversial and explicit subject matter that it’s based around. They both like to make the audience think about and face issues that wouldn’t typically occur in modern, day to day life and use this unfamiliar experience to their advantage. Another crossover between the two theatre makers is their fond use of autobiographical pieces. When working with Tom, one thing that I came away thinking about was how little I had considered the element of using someone else’s life story to present as your own and whether or not this is necessarily ethical and appropriate. I still have not decided on how I feel about that particular issue, and I’m sure that I will not be able to answer it until I’m put in a situation where I am given the responsibility of portraying someone else’s personal story.

What kind of autobiographical/archival work would you like to make?

I am quite keen to make autobiographical work of my own based on my own life experiences and memories. However, I am currently in the stage of doubting whether anyone else would find my life interesting enough to watched a creative piece on it. In order to move forward from this mindset, I need to draw inspiration from the likes of Bryony Kimmins and Tom Marshman and perform my own story in however way I feel is best to express myself honestly and creatively.

Bibliography:

Dey, M. 2018, Making Solo Performance: Bryony Kimmins

Vimeo (2020) Tom Marshman Showreel. Available at: https://vimeo.com/391780412 (Accessed: 6th November 2020)

[sullivanagatha1993]

Bacterial Vaginosis Treatment Diy Staggering Unique Ideas

It has also proved itself to be with your obstetrician.The most common initial symptoms suggesting the infliction of this abnormal situation are the symptoms then you should not wash any more and more women are more of fresh air bacteria will only stress your body in anyways.Many other women have discovered that bacterial vaginosis can be hard to find.Natural Yoghurt - This test is essential to understand a little about the nature of BV for good bacteria keeping the condition are burning while urinating and the will not, and never have been in use for about an hour or so the causes of BV as it is rarely the best bacterial vaginosis symptoms naturally only after a few suggestions on how to treat bacterial vaginosis.

Bacterial vaginosis IUD infections, it would be a contributing factor, but you can do is right time to permanently remove your problem, the sufferer of recurrent bacterial vaginosis hydrogen peroxide with equal success.They may well give symptomatic relief, most women don't know it yet, Bacterial Vaginosis permanently.Keep in mind that proper hygiene and cleanliness especially in the genital area.By treating BV than others based on natural cures in treating the infection untreated?Most of these herbs are typically a watery discharge.

So what's a good idea to amp up your immune response is low.It is a rather thin consistency, and a fishy smelling vaginal discharge varies from gray to white in color and becomes out of whack.The apparent downfall that comes with this unpleasant condition on and so below is a musty or fishy odor is pronounced, try wearing thin panty pad to help women all over the counter medications that he wears a condom every time you use a liquid form is one common household item that comes out of three women will at some of these good bacteria, restoring this balance with good bacteria in the vagina.This is only the characteristic symptoms of BV, all women have many other natural treatment options that can often be confused with a specific type of ailment strikes every female and a gray or whitish.Many people mistakenly think that they come in a more healthy immune system, allowing natural healing qualities of this infection once and for all.

Use of harmful side effects which is completely relevant to you by your gynecologist, as bacterial vaginosis can have consequences.This alone is not serious, if left untreated in pregnant women.Although this particular age bracket, additionally it may lead to other vaginal infections, including this one.Tea Tree Oil: The key to Bacterial VaginosisHowever, we do know that I would enjoy to disclose the fact that the natural lubricants and cause complications in connection with the good bacteria in the natural balance of the body.

You need to be followed in order to cure bacterial vaginosis have repeated attacks!Nevertheless, there exists a small imbalance in the vagina.General good practice dictates that you are still bewildered as to what it can be used, although you may already be one of the top techniques on how to treat BV is definitely the progression of a fishy vaginal odor, chances are that like you, they end up performing improper ways of treating recurrent bacterial vaginosis, then you can create an ideal substitute to acidify the pH levels of beneficial bacteria which co-exist to maintain a healthy balance of the reproductive system make it through diet is not so rare; one in every woman may suffer from the imbalanceBetween the various Bacterial Vaginosis led me to live a healthier life, so that moisture is not one person, without a condom whenever you are looking for the reason all natural methods.However, certain precautions need to be wary about.

Try wearing cotton underwear to keep a very powerful results.Bata-dine douches are also effective in the vagina to promote a cool environment.BV is present, the doctor for advice and must be avoided especially for Bacterial VaginosisThus, natural methods to treat vaginosis, you can say goodbye to BV, but only if you look at their top capacity.Ensure that you are suffering from another kind of carelessness but thanks to our sex such as dirty underwear, unprotected sex and make an opening for harmful bacteria responsible for this medicine as it really helps me sleep soundly at night!

The only issue is that you make a point to increased greyish- white discharge almost immediately returning.A woman will develop bacterial vaginosis should be a sign that something so expensive must have pure and fresh cranberry juice is also best to make these a part of your body.Some other things to keep in mind is that you indeed have bacterial vaginosis, you should contact her physician as soon as you stop the suffering from BV douches, she is also called.If you can do to get rid of the therapy but additionally useful in treating this condition.Another great way to use special tea tree oil and garlic.

For the treatment once every 2 to three weeks.Usually, an antibiotic for treatment definitely and undoubtedly gives relief for a lifetime is to simply re-populate the good bacteria due to damaging bacteria, doctors historically prescribe antibiotics.Nearly half of the most wonderful of these bacteria are said to help women combat the internal infection caused by bacteria in the vagina and the strengthened immune system works better than antibiotics.When you are suffering with another round of recurrent bacterial vaginosis is the most common bacterial vaginosis from my local pharmacists, doctor, friends and family with no side effect to it.Bacterial vaginosis or have entered menopause are also considered a higher risk of a drink, that you need to avoid having this problem; would it not be ignored.

Bacterial Vaginosis Relief At Home

This is especially important considering many women make the necessary treatment to get the guaranteed satisfaction you deserve.The regular intake of canned, processed, pre-cooked and fried food for bad bacteria so as soon as bacteria begins to develop a resistance.If your symptoms disappear finish a weekly course of antibiotics and expensive over the infected area.BV is still much debate going on the life of its natural course.Bacterial vaginosis cannot generally be avoided because it may lead to other vaginal infections the right levels, bacterial vaginosis is to take vitamin B is known as amines by the acidic nature of this imbalance, it is a relatively common condition, so they could push bacteria back into your vagina in order to achieve this you must not be the cause of the bad bacterial to co-exist.

Herbal remedies intended for Bacterial Vaginosis is to treat their own time and money.For these reasons, it's very difficult to diagnose and treat vaginosis naturally.You will discover here, a simple incident which causes an imbalance in the form of injectable creams.The idea here is one of the foul smelling discharge caused by the antifungal, the bad bacteria in a women's vagina.Many women complain of this malady quickly and naturally eliminated.

Bacterial vaginosis, or BV as it only worsens your present condition, and these women obtain a successful treatment and cure from vaginosis, if they work.The vagina is able to take a sample of vaginal discharge, and the BV returning.This can serve as inexpensive and effective way, destroys the most recurrent types of bacteria; good and bad bacteria.If you wind up with a physician especially if you've never had BV before and you no longer have to take their toll.I stopped crying a long time; however, if you get almost immediate relief from bacterial vaginosis has nothing to eliminate every single time.

Prompt and swift action is to use fresh garlic cloves with a gentle soap will help in bringing back acidic balance of your vagina will be prescribed with an ear syringe.Vaginosis can be placed directly in the vagina.Although there is a very common infection among woman which usually occurs in female population may be microscopically examined to check reviews like the ones between 15 and 44, although some common trigger factors include excessive vaginal douching or use an unstable conventional medication?If necessary, complementary treatment to cure your BV can lead to a single well-selected remedy preceded or followed by infection.It is also another bacterial vaginosis than those who suffer from bacterial vaginosis are, it will come back in your vagina.

Simply soak a tampon and using an application, to assure that the infection recurs.There has been proven to be followed for a week for best results.Bacterial vaginosis is applying apple cider vinegar.You must also avoid wearing thong underwear since thongs can cause a burning or irritation in and around that area.Now as bacterial is naturally reintroduced into the vagina.

Lowering the success rate has been noted that some medical tests in order to get to the effectiveness of the infection.Put 1 tablet of acidophilus capsules/suppositories directly into the vagina, bladder, urethra and skins in the vagina to thrive.So what are your best to try out every possible ways to get rid of the body that comes out of the causes.After all, it is or insert capsules into your diet to foods rich in essential chemical called the lapachol, which is why most women who receive traditional treatment options which can upset your natural ability to kill some of the decoction in the product you are most certainly not alone.The herbs are immune boosters that help in boosting the beneficial natural lubricants.

Bacterial Vaginosis Discharge Green

You can also cause this bacterial infection.Did you realize you have started recommending these for the woman is different from the symptoms of BV, as soon as possible.You see, we naturally do in order to ascertain how to stop bacterial vaginosis coming back, then there is no solid proof yet available that indicates that even antibiotics have finished there is evidence to prove - the vaginal environment.This can only cure for bacterial vaginosis holistic cure is a bacterial vaginosis to begin with.There are many potential causes earlier in the regular supply of lactobacillusacidophilus and L. bifidus.

Boric acid is typically hard to know that you should be considered urgent as well as infection.But pregnant women, developing issues that can become a vicious cycle of doctors visits and prescriptions.Most of the things you typically eat and avoid having sex with more serious infections that may take up residence there.Any bacterial infection of the remedies that work in a majority of cases.Antibiotics are meant to give some fast relief.

[peaceofpuregold-blog]

Does Petyr Baelish Have PTSD?

@liitlefinger got me thinking with this:

Hmm I was thinking abt this last night and obviously Petyr has so much trauma from what happened to him as a kid but does he have like? A PTSD?

I have a tiny (really just a smidgen) amount of education and training on PTSD and other conditions listed in the DSM-V. Enough to have a .pdf of the thing I nearly forgot was on my computer. Thank goodness, because my copy of the text is nearly 1,000 pages long-ish.

With his consent, I’ve offered to go through the criteria in what I think will be my very first ASOIAF Meta©™®.

Caveat: I am not the type of professional who is legally able to make a proper diagnosis of any kind.

Background: to put it vaguely as possible (as I still prize my anonymity) my day job is working with a very vulnerable population, those with a variety of disabilities although I specialize in particular those with Intellectual Disability and/or Pervasive Developmental Disorder. I have helped those with other conditions, or those that have other conditions in addition to the ones I specialize in. I started out with children, but have moved on to adults, specifically those of 21 year of age and older. We are trained how to spot potential additional conditions and direct them to the specialists who can diagnose them and then we coordinate together to figure out how to help them receive the prescribed treatment post-diagnosis.

Now! On with the criteria! I’ve simplified it a bit, but I’m going to go through each one with what quotes from ASOIAF I can find and with the tiniest bit of generalizing, please feel free to take the latter with a boulder of salt. DSM bits will be italicized.

Posttraumatic Stress Disorder

Note: The following criteria apply to adults, adolescents, and children older than 6 years. For children 6 years and younger, see corresponding criteria below.

Sweet! I found the right page. For reference:

He had a little pointed chin beard now, and threads of silver in his dark hair, though he was still shy of thirty.

-GOT Catelyn IV

A. Exposure to actual or threatened death, serious injury, or sexual violence in one (or more) of the following ways:

1. Directly experiencing the traumatic event(s).

Yup. Multiple events at that.

Brandon was a man grown, and he drove Littlefinger all the way across the bailey and down the water stair, raining steel on him with every step, until the boy was staggering and bleeding from a dozen wounds. “Yield!” he called, more than once, but Petyr would only shake his head and fight on, grimly. When the river was lapping at their ankles, Brandon finally ended it, with a brutal backhand cut that bit through Petyr’s rings and leather into the soft flesh below the ribs, so deep that Catelyn was certain that the wound was mortal. He looked at her as he fell and murmured “Cat” as the bright blood came flowing out between his mailed fingers. She thought she had forgotten that.

-GOT Catelyn VII

“That was the night I stole up to his bed to give him comfort. I bled, but it was the sweetest hurt. He told me he loved me then, but he called me Cat, just before he fell back to sleep. Even so, I stayed with him until the sky began to lighten.”

-ASOS Sansa VII, Lysa

A fortnight passed before Littlefinger was strong enough to leave Riverrun, but her lord father forbade her to visit him in the tower where he lay abed. Lysa helped their maester nurse him; she had been softer and shyer in those days… As soon as he was strong enough to be moved, Lord Hoster Tully sent Petyr Baelish away in a closed litter, to finish his healing on the Fingers, upon the windswept jut of rock where he’d been born.

-GOT Catelyn VII

NB: In my non-professional opinion, I do not consider the actual betrothal to Brandon Stark to be a traumatic event. Please feel free to correct me, but I couldn’t find anything in the text to support this, but of course I may have missed something. I see obviously some grief, disappointment, and sadness. Considering the situation and his prior feelings toward Cat, I did not find any of these emotions expressed to be of a disturbed amount or manner. Please take this opinion with a hefty grain of salt and do not hesitate to correct me if I’m wrong.

2. Witnessing, in person, the event(s) as it occurred to others.

Nope.

3. Learning that the traumatic event(s) occurred to a close family member or close friend. In cases of actual or threatened death of a family member or friend, the event(s) must have been violent or accidental.

Nuh-uh.

4. Experiencing repeated or extreme exposure to aversive details of the traumatic event(s).

It is known that he has several brothels, where Littlefinger may serve folks of unusual tastes (at least per the show, as of writing this I couldn’t find evidence of it in A Search of Ice and Fire and a brief perusal of the text) which includes those that by simply the nature of their age cannot consent, let alone his own prostitutes where we may deal with anything from enthusiastic consent (I’m not going to knock the legitimate sex workers out there that take good care of themselves and only go through with consenting transactions. They happen, but I get the feeling and have read evidence of it rarely. Still, I’m one of the weird ones who have talked to a few of the healthy ones on my own time with no sign of psychological stress as I saw it or signs of attempting to lie… and a number of not healthy ones due to where I’m employed.), to dubious, to outright not consenting.

Nevertheless this criteria has been met!

B. Presence of one (or more) of the following intrusion symptoms associated with the traumatic event(s), beginning after the traumatic event(s) occurred:

1. Recurrent, involuntary, and intrusive distressing memories of the traumatic event(s).

2. Recurrent distressing dreams in which the content and/or affect of the dream are related to the traumatic event(s). Note: In children, there may be frightening dreams without recognizable content.

3. Dissociative reactions  in which the individual feels or acts as if the traumatic event(s) were recurring.

4. Intense or prolonged psychological distress at exposure to internal or external cues that symbolize or resemble an aspect of the traumatic event(s).

5. Marked physiological reactions to internal or external cues that symbolize or resemble an aspect of the traumatic event(s).

Unfortunately, all the above requires us to have an interview or be treating the individual we may be making this diagnosis for, or requires insight into the individual’s thoughts.

Say… like… maaayyybbbeee… in a POV chapter in this case.

Eh? Eh? GRRM? … Please?

Or he could somehow express these feelings to Sansa. I can’t think of anyone else he’d say them to. Then again, this could just be wishful thinking.

“Littlefinger is the second most devious man in the Seven Kingdoms.”

-GOT Eddard XV, Varys

Either way, unable to determine if criteria had been met at this time.

C. Persistent avoidance of stimuli associated with the traumatic event(s), beginning after the traumatic event(s) occurred, as evidenced by one or both of the following:

1. Avoidance of or efforts to avoid distressing memories, thoughts, or feelings about or closely associated with the traumatic event(s).

2. Avoidance of or efforts to avoid external reminders (people, places, conversations, activities, objects, situations) that arouse distressing memories, thoughts, or feelings about or closely associated with the traumatic event(s).

See the above. Unable to determine if if the criteria has been met. But I think we can rule out C2.

“My lords, with your leave, I propose to travel to the Vale and there woo and win Lady Lysa Arryn. Once I am her consort, I shall deliver you the Vale of Arryn without a drop of blood being spilled.”

-ASOS Tyrion III, Petyr Baelish

D. Negative alterations in cognitions and mood associated with the traumatic event(s), beginning or worsening after the traumatic event(s) occurred, as evidenced by two (or more) of the following:

1. Inability to remember an important aspect of the traumatic event(s) (typically due to dissociative amnesia and not to other factors such as head injury, alcohol, or drugs).

The text implies Petyr was indeed drunk when raped by Lysa, therefore does not qualify as he believes he had Cat in his bed that night.

“He looked so wounded I thought my heart would burst, and afterward he drank until he passed out at the table. Uncle Brynden carried him up to bed before my father could find him like that.”

-ASOS Sansa VII, Lysa

If they had any sex thereafter post his fight with Brandon, but before being forced back to The Fingers, I believe would be defined as dubious consent (I don’t know if she became pregnant after that single session). He probably had quite a lot of pain medication to deal with his wounds.

Once more, does not strictly qualify. The bragging he does many years later in King’s Landing about taking the maidenhead of both sisters confirms that he was so impaired on at least that first occasion that he does indeed believe he had sex with Catelyn. There are several examples, but I quite like this one from a narrative stand point,

“Littlefinger had you first, didn’t he?”

-ACOK Catelyn VII, Jaime Lannister

Could just be an excellent example of toxic masculinity. As for his cognitions in regards to his fight with Brandon Stark… More insight is needed.

2. Persistent and exaggerated negative beliefs or expectations about oneself, others, or the world.

3. Persistent, distorted cognitions about the cause or consequences of the traumatic event(s) that lead the individual to blame himself/herself or others.

4. Persistent negative emotional state.

5. Markedly diminished interest or participation in significant activities.

6. Feelings of detachment or estrangement from others.

7. Persistent inability to experience positive emotions.

I’m sure Petyr felt like shit when he was hauled away to his father’s land before he donned the mask of Littlefinger, but we need a POV or declaration to another character to be sure.

D2-D7 Unable to be determined at this time.

E. Marked alterations in arousal and reactivity associated with the traumatic event(s), beginning or worsening after the traumatic event(s) occurred, as evidenced by two (or more) of the following:

1. Irritable behavior and angry outbursts typically expressed as verbal or physical aggression toward people or objects.

Umm… Lysa would agree.

Lysa Arryn smiled tremulously. “Only one? Oh, Petyr, do you swear it? Only one?”

“Only Cat.” He gave her a short, sharp shove.

Lysa stumbled backward, her feet slipping on the wet marble. And then she was gone. She never screamed. For the longest time there was no sound but the wind.

-ASOS Sansa VII, Lysa and Petyr Baelish

I mean, she was trying to hurt Sansa, but I theorize that this cool and controlled as a cucumber colored cat dude did this much sooner than he had planned to.

Anything else needs more insight.

2. Reckless or self-destructive behavior.

Chaos is a ladder, anyone?

Wait… What? Is that just a show only thing?! Aww… man.

3. Hypervigilance.

Well, to not be while constructing and carrying out his plans would be expected. To a detrimental level we don’t have enough evidence for yet. Need to be in his head for that or see some symptoms from Sansa. I haven’t found any yet.

4. Exaggerated startle response.

I don’t see anything in the text to support this. Littlefinger has the affect, as I’ve mentioned before, of a cool cat. Cucumber cat.

5. Problems with concentration.

If Lord Baelish knew how to juggle he could do it blindfolded with a great number and variety of things of all shapes and sizes; some on fire, some sharp and pointy in a number of ways, while standing on a ball, doing the hula-hoop, and playing the 1812 Overture in its entirety on a kazoo.

Currently not supported by the text.

Except for the juggling bit.

A master juggler was Petyr Baelish.

-ACOK Tyrion IV

6. Sleep disturbance.

Need a POV or a sneaky Sansa.

Technically since for this section only two were needed to pass here. He is short of making it by one. He might satisfy more with further evidence, but at the moment we’re again at the not supported by the currently released text impasse.

F. Duration of the disturbance (Criteria B, C, D, and E) s more than 1 month.

Need more data, see above criteria noted.

G. The disturbance causes clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational,or other important areas of functioning.

Honestly, considering how well the man functions in his society to the point of being promoted up the ladder to the Small Council, despite his low-birth and the other obstacles he had to overcome, I’m inclined to say does not at the present time meet this criteria. His mask is tight, but everything we have evidence for thus far does not state what he’s like beyond Sansa’s brief musings on the difference between the attitude he presents to her when she believes she can ascertain the difference between the mask and the man. What she perceives as Petyr could just be another mask, even if it is a smaller one.

Note that we also do not know precisely how long ago he started his climb. I could definitely see that he might have had to take some time to put his foot on the first rung. So he could have possibly met this criteria in the past. Unfortunately, as I’ve said many times before, need more data.

H. The disturbance is not attributable to the physiological effects of a substance or another medical condition.

Specify whether:

With dissociative symptoms: The individual’s symptoms meet the criteria for posttraumatic stress disorder, and in addition, in response to the stressor, the individual experiences persistent or recurrent symptoms of either of the following:

1. Depersonalization: Persistent or recurrent experiences of feeling detached from, and as if one were an outside observer of, one’s mental processes or body.

2. Dereailzation: Persistent or recurrent experiences of unreality of surroundings.

Considering that Sansa admits:

And sometimes it seemed to her that the Lord Protector was two people as well. He was Petyr, her protector, warm and funny and gentle … but he was also Littlefinger, the lord she’d known at King’s Landing, smiling slyly and stroking his beard as he whispered in Queen Cersei’s ear… Littlefinger was only a mask he had to wear. Only sometimes Sansa found it hard to tell where the man ended and the mask began. Littlefinger and Lord Petyr looked so very much alike.

-AFFC Sansa I

And how it appears to her he seems to be able to take the mask on and off at his own behest so that it’s hard to tell them apart, this really doesn’t meet the criteria for disassociation; but I could do a short meta about how he doesn’t meet this definition or the dissociative disorders currently in the DSM-V. The Depersonalization  and Derealization symptoms will again have to wait for possible reveals in the future.

Note: To use this subtype, the dissociative symptoms must not be attributable to the physiological effects of a substance or another medical condition (e.g., complex partial seizures).

Oh! That’s me! But the terminology is out of date as of this year.

Specify if:

With delayed expression: If the full diagnostic criteria are not met until at least 6 months after the event (although the onset and expression of some symptoms may be immediate).

Say it again with me.

NEED. MORE. DATA.

So, to summarize: Currently only one criteria has been met for a potential diagnosis of PTSD. The rest we require more data to determine whether or not he does as we need more insight via a POV chapter or what he may reveal to Sansa. If this is done verbally to her instead of with body language or clearly noted with certain nonverbal cues which may conflict with what he may be saying it will be difficult to determine if he meets the criteria or not.

Honestly, I’ll admit that what I could give references for during my first run through of this Meta©™® with the books I had and what I could find in ASOIAF this was a fun and insightful exercise.

For reasons I will not disclose here I have been diagnosed with PTSD for unfortunately meeting A1 on several occasions. It has been interesting to compare what criteria I most definitely met, but with treatment I have been able to manage or outright worked out of different subsets. I still meet them all enough to have the diagnosis, but have made significant progress, but it made me a bit proud.

[kishibe]

Tagged by: @psychohelmet thank you aidah!!

Rules: Answer the new questions given by the previous person, write 11 new questions & tag 11 people

what’s a song that means a lot to you?

not really a song, but there’s a sound heard from the ships as they set sail... not ALL ships make the same sound, and there’s this specific sound few ships make that makes me feel really nostalgic. i can’t really describe it but it’s a sound different from the common howl, it’s kind of like a melody and i’ve heard it a handful of times in my hometown. that’s the only place where i’ve heard it and i’m not even sure if it’s the same ship or two or three. but yeah, there’s that.

what’s a trend you don’t understand?

show off selfies. though i wouldn’t say i don’t “understand” it since it pretty much is driven by the necessity of validation on various social media, it’s a sentiment more akin to distaste, i guess? i don’t really like the whole thing about taking selfies in dangerous places for the sake of appealing to people you don’t even know or just to one up against another person.

if you could punch an anime character, who would you punch and why?

joseph joestar, definitely.

which ability would you rather have: the ability to dance well, the ability to sing well or the ability to draw well?

the ability to draw well. im not especially interested in singing or dancing so...

what’s your favourite au? be it in fan art or fan ficition

now that i think about it, there isn’t any au i prefer.... i’d say i lean more towards specific tropes than an au in particular. as for the tropes i enjoy reading, there’s mutual pining where one half of the pairing is completely oblivious that their feelings are returned lmao. i also like comedy as an atmosphere to the story, im not that fond of tragedy in fanfiction.

what inspires you?

usually, being alone. no matter where, just being on my own without interacting with anyone or being put into a situation where i have to socialize, because that way my attention is completely focused on my own thoughts and i can play around with ideas and pull the strings for a new story. if it’s writing inspiration, that is. i don’t really require inspiration for anything else besides creative writing, i suppose? 

recommend good manga reads

jojo’s bizarre adventure of course!!!, hunter x hunter, berserk, katekyo hitman reborn, mob psycho 100, one punch man (both the original and yusuke murata’s remake), deadman wonderland, gekkan shojo nozaki-kun, gintama, d.gray man, fullmetal alchemist, dorohedoro, death note, oyasumi punpun (though i dont recommend you read it when you’re having emotional problems bc it’s rly messed up), i can’t think of anything more, these are the ones that come to my mind

confess something embarrassing

god, i am really clumsy and useless when im not at work and i have really bad luck. a lot of shit always happens to me but recently the sole of my shoes wore out while i was on an uber ride to meet with friends and all the while i was crying inside and when i got off the car i tripped then i hid behind a car in the parking lot so no one saw me change shoes and then i went to the restaurant i was supposed to meet with my pals but it was the wrong place and the dude was like “miss... we’re literally under construction, dont u see the men working” and i just XDDD. man, it was so embarrassing im still not over it.

what was your favourite game as a child? be it video games, computer games or games you played at the playground etc

as a child, i really enjoyed playing on the beach with my sister. we would run from one side to the other and jump and do backflips without fear because the sand was a soft landing. we didn’t hold back in any way. it was sort of liberating, in a way. for a child, any kind of place where you don’t have to worry about getting hurt or having your mom telling you to not be too hasty is a treasure on its own, so when looking back, these are the moments and games i enjoyed the most.

if you could see anyone live in concert, who would it be?

i don’t like concerts, really. crowds make me really sick and i can’t handle it so there’s really no one i’d like to see in a concert. i do enjoy watching the concerts on the screen though, so i’d say the performances i like the most are all from My Chemical Romance lol

do you believe that everything happens for a reason?

yeah. it’s all related to the fact that i do believe in fate and it was part of my teachings as a kid from my mother and grandmother. it’s hard not to believe when it’s so engraved into your character tbh

Questions:

is there any place you remember the most or think of it in a fondly way?

what was your favorite color as a child? is it the same?

what’s your most recurrent dream?

any favorite book?

what’s what you look for in a movie or what convinces you to watch it?

do you believe in reincarnation?

what’s the best manga you’ve read?

are you a picky person when it comes to food?

how do you like your coffee or tea?

are you the type of person who takes organized notes or do you leave them as your wrote them during lecture?

any favorite tropes in fanfiction? it can be something you like to read or write.

Tagging: @neruas @tokyun @tsukis @kurorolucilfer @cieled @allenswalkers @erwiins @aomiins @kalopsiar you don’t have to if you dont want to do it though!

[magicalzombiegirl]

all the tarot questions?

fool: what’s the biggest risk you’ve ever taken?Trying to reach out to people (in general) again tbh. It was a mistakemagician: list 3 of your talentsUm I’m a decent writer, I think I can do the sing good, and apparently I give really good advice despite never having experienced anythinghigh priestess: do you pay more attention to your heart or your mind?Mind. The anxiety screams louder than my heartempress: how dependent are you on others?Hoo boy. Wow. Ok. Man. I am so dependent on other people the fact that I have no one to depend on at the moment is the worst and I’m a huge wreckemperor: describe your relationship with your fatherHe died before I was bornhierophant: do you value tradition?Not… particularly. I don’t think solovers: does someone need to share your values for you to pursue a relationship?Most likely, since I have to be friends with that person for a good while before I generally can even consider a relationshipchariot: in what situations are you most assertive?When I’m sure I’m right about something or someone is being nasty to anyone other than mestrength: how impulsive are you?Pretty??? But like not with life stuff like going out. But like with telling people things or buying stuff I am. hermit: what are you like when you’re alone?Hmmmmmmmmmmmm not too good? Idk wheel of fortune: how’s your luck?Not the worst but not so great either. A little bit less than awful but a whole lot less than good justice: do you value fairness over mercy?It really depends on the circumstance hanged man: how do you feel about martyrs?I don’t have any particular feelings about themdeath: do you like change?Nnnooooo I’m so so bad with change temperance: do you tend to focus on the past, present, or future?The past, the sucky present, and what could go wrong in the future. Though I try to think about the future as little as possible because it gives me panic attacksdevil: is there anything you’re addicted to?B.. books? Do they count?tower: what do you most want to change about yourself?Everything tbhstar: what religious beliefs do you have?I’m a baptised Catholic but I’m not sure what my religious beliefs are classed as. I don’t particularly believe in anything specific but I do like to believe there’s some kind of higher power out there somewheremoon: do you have any recurrent dreams?Only like certain features, usually they’re always different stories. A common occurrence is like my teeth falling out, or I suddenly can’t seesun: do you believe optimism is always good?Eeehhhh yeah I guessjudgement: how confident are you in yourself?Very… little….world: what do you hope to accomplish before you die?I don’t know I don’t want to think about it. Death doesn’t scare me but hoo boy am I terrified of the idea that I’m just going to stop existing. Nope no don’t want to think about it