#is he. from crash bandicoot. I'm bad at this

[beast-feast]

Good morning

[lune-redd]

Hello, it's Lelly.

As you may know, I have recently deactivated my Twitter account. A lot of people are speculating I left because I was being harassed for drawing my older depiction of Bubbles from The Powerpuff Girls as chubby. However... that's not the direct reason I left. In fact, I didn't really see much of the comments of folks on there getting riled up about it as I muted the tweet the morning I saw that it blew up. I was only merely aware of it all by being told about it from friends, with there being some other users on the site making other really fuckin' stupid comments about my art.

This does however lead into why I actually left Twitter, and it's because of Twitter's overall toxic nature. Overtime, I've really gotten sick of how absolutely revolting Twitter has become to experience. The site is basically built around dunk culture and doom scrolling. You know that one tweet of someone making an example of Twitter's utter stupidity by using pancakes and waffles as an example?

I bring this up because I think this fits my point about how Twitter has this thing of assuming the absolute worst about the most insignificant things, even the most innocuous. The "Bubbles obesity" comments weren't the only stupid comments that came out of that post. I also got a quote retweet that I was "forcefully feminizing Buttercup", even though the whole fucking point of that drawing was to depict a usually tough character in an unusual situation for her. I have also gotten stupid comments on other drawings though, like the one where Mitch pushes Buttercup down for trying to look taller than she is and I got called a misogynist for it, though I'm pretty sure that one was bait (Twitter users have a tough time figuring out what is and isn't bait, it's dunk culture that I'm about to talk about really doesn't help this).

The site's dunk culture is also really fuckin' bad. Quote retweets are a disease, as unlike Tumblr's reblog comments, quote retweets count as a different post. Someone disagrees with you? Show your audience how stupid they are on your page! Hey, are you trying not to see the most abhorrent racist statement imaginable? Well TOO BAD FUCK YOU here's a le epic own giving them all the attention in the world even though one of the most common internet rules are DON'T FEED THE FUCKIN' TROLLS YOU IDIOT. Oh hey, are you trying to explain how you prefer a certain artistic choice over another in something you like? Well you're a deranged ungrateful whiny nitpicker, get owned!

I've seen so many of my friends be belittled for simply discussing their artistic preferences of things they're passionate about. I had a friend who said he prefers the original Crash Bandicoot design over his redesigned look in Crash 4, and had legitimate reasons for why he felt that way (even if he didn't really explain them clearly), and he got dunked for it which made me mad. I'm sick and tired of it all. The reaction to my art is only a mere example of the shit I despise about that site.

I had been planning on leaving Twitter for quite some time, as my follower count was growing nearer and nearer to 10K. I had planned on leaving after 10K followers because that amount was wayyyy too fuckin big for me to handle. I'm a young and growing lad, and I felt it wouldn't be good for my mental sanity to handle all that, so I dipped. The amount of attention I've been getting is simultaneously both wonderful and extremely overwhelming. Even the explosion of new followers and asks on here is quite the load! (Seriously, calm the fuck down y'all) I am very grateful for all the supportive asks I've gotten even though I won't be able to answer them all, thank you all so very much.

tl;dr I didn't leave Twitter because I was being harassed or anything, but rather because of the site's overall toxic and belittling environment.

Adios.

-Lelly

[puffyducks]

Puffy's Really Comprehensive and Cool Review of PK Out of the Shadows for the PS2 (not emulated guys I didn't emulate it I bought a really legal copy for my PlayStation 2 console that I own)

Ok guys I just did a really epic playthrough of the Paperinik video game (that was streamed on Discord thank you to everyone who watched me scream and struggle for like 6 hours) and I'm here to give a review for the other PK fans or perhaps even people who really like playing old niche PS2 games for some reason (get a better hobby)

First of all this game gets a 10/10 rating from me because this game has Paperinik in it and there are no other games with Paperinik in them.

Paperinik's English name is "the Duck Avenger" but I guess there was too much PK logo branding in this game for them to bother to change it so they kept his name as just PK and tried to explain it by saying it stood for "really cool duck" or something in Latin. Which I'm pretty sure was just a fucking lie.

I'm really happy that Uno was there, I love him and he's my best friend even tho he was FUCKING USELESS like this whole game. Sorry he just kinda grabs Donald, turns him into a superhero, then throws him into an Evronian base with 0 explanation and is like "go kill" and like who am I to say no to the giant floating orb?? Like he gave me a gun which is really nice but I'm out here getting fucking jumped by the Evronian empire and Uno isn't even there to cheer me on or NOTHING. He only occasionally shows up to explain when you get a weapon upgrade like FUCKING DO SOMETHING UNO THEY'RE BEATING MY ASSSSS

The little collectibles are just tiny floating Uno heads so that also gets a 10/10 from me I really enjoyed running around and collecting my army of Uno PNGs. The SECOND collectible however- Ok so there are like these scientists that are tied up by the Evronians and you're supposed to save them right? Well for whatever reason (they don't really explain why this is happening) every time you get close to a scientist it starts a big menacing countdown in the corner and you're supposed to save them before the timer goes down or else THEY JUST FUCKING DIE?? I THINK?? LIKE I SAID THEY DON'T EXPLAIN IT SO I CAN'T REALLY TELL WHAT'S HAPPENING, BUT IF THE TIMER GOES DOWN AND YOU REACH THEM TOO LATE THERE'S JUST LIKE A PILE LEFT BEHIND FROM WHERE THEY USED TO BE, I THINK THEY GET FUCKING VAPORIZED OR SOMETHING? AND LIKE I WAS REALLY BAD AT SAVING THEM BECAUSE I GET REALLY STRESSED WHEN THE TIMER STARTS. I HAVE SO MUCH BLOOD ON MY HANDS. anyways.

I like totally didn't get stuck on the same section for 10 minutes because I kept comedically sliding PK directly into a big pool of evil pink goo. Like evil Evron goo I guess, don't remember THAT from the comics. If you so much as touch it with your little pinkie toe he dies instantly, it's very troubling. Like I said um that didn't happen to me though because I'm really good at video games. Idk if you knew I'm level 102 on Wizard101 which is like pretty high. Like it's not max level I'm pretty sure max level is like 180 right now but it's still cool I'm still cool and also really good at video games.

Oh yeah also something that was really amusing to me is the way that PK is just fucking Stanced Up the entire game. Like he's always kinda menacingly crouching and shuffling around everywhere he goes like a little superhero cockroach. Love him.

Can't believe I haven't mentioned this sooner but for the English dub of this game (which is what I was using because I am, in fact, an English speaker) they made the huge brained decision to get Rob Paulsen to do Donald's "superhero" voice. Rob Paulsen of course from Yakko Warner fame... and Steelbeak 1991. Donald sounds goofy as shit the whole game it lowkey kills me. I guess they assumed people wouldn't wanna sit through his regular scratchy voice for however many hours of gameplay but trust me, I would WAY prefer regular Donald over the weird 90s protagonist Crash Bandicoot wannabe thing he has going on. Uno sounds great tho, zero complaints.

At one point PK walks out of the level and he's like "haha who knew this superhero stuff would be so easy!" and I took that as a deep and personal insult. That was not easy Donald I was fighting for my fucking life in there. You have like 13 bullet wounds and I dropped you into Evron goop like 6 different times. Stop making me look bad.

I got stuck standing around like a fucking idiot for 10 minutes because I got an upgrade for the X-transformer and Uno was like "you see that hole? Go over and press □ to send the X-transformer through it!" and I was like oh ok. Except there was no hole I couldn't find the hole. I was only able to progress past this part because I pulled up a youtube video of someone else playing the game, and the guy in the video ALSO proceeded to get stuck in the same spot before realizing you have to backtrack to find the hole like 15 feet away from where Uno gave you the instructions. I can't tell if it's bad game design or if I'm just stupid.

I'm ngl I got to the end and heard Zondag start talking and he lowkey sounds hot as fuck. I mean WOAH that's crazy who said that??? (he's also British for some reason)

Wrapping up my final thoughts with some simple questions:

Does this game have Paperinik in it?

Yes.

Is it a good game?

No.

What's the best part about the game?

Uno is in it.

What's the worst part about the game?

Everything else.

Would you have been able to beat this as a child?

Absolutely not.

Why did they think it would be a good idea to get Rob Paulsen to do the voice of PK for the majority of the game?

Hell if I know???

Would you recommend this game to other people?

Probably not.

It took me a total of 6-ish hours to beat the game (it can be beaten in like 2 hours I'm just slow) but in that amount of time you could read PKNA chapter #34 "Nothing Personal" like 6 times which I think would be a way better experience.

Anyways like I said 10/10, would maybe think about playing again. On like a really depressing rainy day where I have literally nothing else to do.

[bisexualchaosdemon]

The Foxes as things my old friend and I have said

I make no apologies for the cursed shit you are about to read

Neil @ Andrew: Yes, malicious compliance, thank you. I knew if anyone would know the correct term for spiteful behaviour, it would be you.

Neil or Kevin: I'm working on two hours of sleep and a protein bar, I am ready to fight God or BECOME HIM!

Nicky: *cackling maniacally while shoving a muffin in his mouth* *process to almost choke to death on said muffin*

Neil: What's the word? Clothes soap?

Nicky: Pinoccio can turn into a sex toy by lying and telling the truth really quickly

Neil, talking about Andrew's dark humour: It was just the added hint of rape that really got it there

Matt: What the fuck in the misogyny???

Neil or Andrew, probably: I'm staying in this doorway, I don't want to commit a felony

Wymack: In the same way it takes a lot of pressure to make a diamond, it takes a lot of trauma to make a Fox

Neil, to Andrew: I am the rake to your Sideshow Bob

Aaron, playing a video game: This fucking game can get fucking shoved up my asshole! It can fester with my haemorrhoids!!!

Neil: *makes an unhelpful comment*

Aaron: You're right, I do need to find all the boxes. But in order to find all the boxes, I need to find a shred of my sanity!

Nicky: Toot toot get the gripping socks oot for crash bandicoot

Dan: If you are smaller than the person you are cuddling, it's not called being the big spoon, it is being a backpack

Aaron, from across the dorm: YOU ACTUAL RAT FANNY FLAP

Neil @ Aaron: Imma turn your glasses into contact lenses!

Kevin, talking to Andrew about his friends: Nevermind quality over quantity, you don't have either

Matt, to Dan: Are you playing footsie with me madame?

Drugged Andrew: I am the evil doodle from Spongebob

Kevin: *clapping for emphasis* You. Are.

Andrew or Neil: Stop being funny when I don't have pants on!

Nicky, upon learning he talks in his sleep: Even sleep can't shut me up– I have a disease!

Nicky: You are a cinnamon bun

Neil: No, I'm something that looks like a cinnamon bun, but is actually filled with paprika

Nicky: You are a paprika bun!

Andrew: I don't know what you're complaining about, I'm fucking funny

Kevin, high as fuck: You're not allowed to die. And, God, I wish you were a donut.

Andrew or Neil @ Kevin: Gonna fe fi fo fum my foot up your ass

Neil: Fuck me, it's cold!

Andrew: I'm not going to fuck you just because it's cold

Neil: Nah, you're going to fuck me because of my hot ass

Renee: surviving?

Kevin: Not thriving.

Nicky, to Neil: You and Andrew are like the Kermit darkside meme... Except you are both wearing hoods.

Allison: Keep your nipples on! Don't get your fucking fanny lips in a twist, honestly

Also Allison: Being hit in the clit with a Bisexual flag is not how I want my sexuality reaffirmed

*discussing why they would never date*

Matt: I don't see you as a person

Nicky: *bursts out laughing* I don't see you as a person, the nicest thing a friend has ever said to me

Matt: No, wait, lemme explain

Aaron: Fuck. Da. Ocean.

Matt: I've definitely eaten too much. I'm going to have a food baby. I will name him Derek

Allison, finishing her homework: My laptop is going away and it's not coming back out until Monday

Dan: woop woop get your tits oot

Allison: *flashes single boob*

Nicky: Which of the seven dwarves are you?

Neil: *struggles to remember all seven dwarves*

Neil: Dopey, clearly

Andrew: That's a big off

Kevin: I am a big oof

Andrew: What does that make me?

Kevin: A small, angry oof

Drugged Andrew @ Renee: if you ask a Christian to prove that God exists, they will just whip out the bible. Like, yes *whips out Mr Men book* wah-bam! Proof that Mr Tickle exists!

Andrew, telling Bee about his bad day: Right, so, I woke up, so already off to a bad start

Andrew again: Life is a naughty dog that keeps humping your leg

Andrew: *suddenly singing along to song* YES!

Kevin: *confused*

Andrew: Sorry, my inner demon just took over a little there

Kevin: You're inner demon is so gay!

Andrew: *dying with silent laughter*

Kevin: I am half expecting it to say 'yas'! You have the gayest inner demon I've ever seen

~a few moments later~

Andrew: Yaaaas! Oh, goddammit! Why did you have to put that thought in my head? Stop giving my demon ammunition!!

Aaron: It's your turn to pick dinner

Andrew: *thinks about it for five seconds* No.

Aaron: The fuck you mean 'no' ?!

Kevin, drunk: It wasn't great. I wouldn't rate. *burps* I used a burp to punctuate.

Kevin: What are we doing?

Neil: I have no plan. For life or for dinner.

Kevin: Let's formulate a plan. For dinner. You're on your own for the rest

Nicky: We do not ride at dawn in this house. That is far too early. We ride at dusk.

Allison: Well, if you can't beat them, climb between their legs

Neil: .... *shrugs* If you can't win, be good at oral

Matt: She is beauty, she is grace, I would like her to sit on my face

Aaron @ Neil: You're like biting into a chocolate and discovering it's liquorice

Andrew: I will indifferently shove you in front of a train

Nicky: *yawns ridiculously loudly*

Matt: That yawn had layers!

Nicky: I call it my oni-yawn *cries laughing at own joke*

Andrew: I need a chiropractor, an exorcist, and a bong

*trying knitting instead of sparring*

Renee: I'm trying to knit myself some mental stability

Andrew: I'm trying to knit myself a noose

Andrew: When you think about it, that's all people are; we are sperms with delusions of grandeur

*the monsters play Monopoly*

Aaron: *lands on chance*

Andrew: You coming to join me in jail?

Chance: go back 3 spaces

Aaron: Ha! No!

Aaron: *lands on community chest*

Community chest: go to jail

Aaron: Oh, fuck you!

Nicky, talking about why the mosters can't play Monopoly anymore: Friends were lost that day, patiences were tried, shoes were thrown

Kevin: Can God let go of my gonads?

Andrew: No dick is good enough to live on salad

Aaron, into the pitch black, silent bedroom: You old cock-blocking bastard

Andrew @ Wymack: Come get yo kid, they about to get a McKnuckles Slappy meal

Neil: There is a nice personality inside me, problem is he's mute.

Nicky: You know, it was only after I did that that my self-preservation instincts realised there was a very real possibility that you could have punch me in the face.

Andrew: Self-preservation instincts? You have those?

Nicky: Clearly not!

Renee: PHONE 911 YOU ABSOLUTE PLUM

Aaron: Where does today come before yesterday?

Neil: The alphabet? Oh, a dictionary!

Aaron: The alphabet?!

Neil: I got the alphabetical thing, I just forgot dictionaries existed for a sec!

Matt: My ankle is killing me

Nicky: And IIII, I must confess, so is my knee!

Matt: Is my knee!

Foxes @ Neil: You are always angry and always dying. You are like a suicidal hulk.

Bonus in honour of tsc:

Jean @ Jeremy: Give me an orgasm and then slit my throat. Please and thank you.

[neoyi]

Oh my GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD.

I'm only thirty minutes into this video and I'm SCREAMING at what we could have gotten!

I've made no secrets how much I abhor Crash Twinsanity (sorry, I am a petty OG Crash Bandicoot Naughty Dog loyalist) and I've never been a fan of the Academy of Evil because I've always felt Cortex being, essentially, evil since childhood undermines his original descent into madness/villainy presented in the first Crash Bandicoot manual (he was ridiculed in the scientific community, that's all you really needed as a motivation for a guy with an easily bruised ego; it just takes one bad day etc etc), plus I just think it's stupid. Yes, I know, it's Crash Bandicoot, a series that runs on goofy Looney Tunes logic, I know, I knooooooooow. I acknowledge this is a me problem, but it's so STUPID.

But I loved Crash Bandicoot 4. Loved it a lot. It was exactly what I wanted from a Crash series: a greater focus on lore with enough pathos without betraying its humorous, funny roots. And it delivered! It was high stakes, but also funny! It could be goofy and cartoony, but it remembered to treat its serious moments with sincere, emotional drive.

I would have been curious to see how Toys for Bob would take that specific tone that they established in Crash 4 in order to explore the villain's backstories in the Academy of Evil. I genuinely think they would have done a dynamite job, as well as provide us with even more lore (which, god, holy shit, I am stunned how much Crash 4 was feeding us with its lore.) I would have been all in. I would have taken the dumb Academy of Evil because I legit think they could have put their own twist into it and portrayed it as something genuine and with added depth. Plus it might have brought Nina Cortex back and she's, objectively, the best Crash Bandicoot character post-NDi. I love her and I really wanted to see more of her.

And then there's the other proposal, the crossover with Spyro the Dragon. The possibility of Toys for Bob converting Spyro 1 levels into Crash Bandicootian stages of linear hallways and obstacles? Oh my GOD, I would have been in like a heart attack. I want that so fucking badly.

The promise of an even deeper look into lore and a "darker tale?" YES. YES, I want this! I don't want non-stop obnoxious Dreamworks humor that plagues the mid-to-late 2000s era Crash games. I want Crash Bandicoot to stare at Uka Uka's void and promise with absolutely certainly that he will kick his ass again.

And again, I acknowledge it is a Me Problem that I want more Crash Bandicoot games that can be emotionally-driven, but also carry an all-age appeal and be wacky, when this is a series was designed to be goofy as fuck (even the OG Naughty Dog concepts went over-the-top with its ideas.) But, man, I'm sorry, I was raised by the first three Crash games where it tonally balanced its absurd humor with a sense of composed grace. It's what I'm used to and it's exactly what I got with Crash 4. And MAN, I would have been so hyped for Crash Bandicoot 5!

I'm gonna watch the rest of the video and see what else was planned and cancelled, and then continue to be Big Mad at Activision for once again screwing with this franchise.

Never forget, Activision, Crash Bandicoot's revival was not an act of good grace, it was an apology.

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Couch Cuddles Masterlist

A Beautiful Mess Of Emotion (ao3) - Anonymous

Summary: Dan was a mess after the holidays ended. He came back from his family’s house with bags under his eyes and no spring left in his step. The moment Phil opened the door, he knew something was wrong.

Or: Phil comforts Dan after a stressful week.

A Horror Deal (ao3) - bakingphaninmymind

Summary: Dan and Phil decide to watch a horror. Both boys know it's not a good idea, but at least they have a chance to find out who's gonna come and cuddle to whose bedroom first, right? Fluff :)

being with you (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: Dan and Phil have just released their DVD; after chatting with their audience, they spend the night alone.

cat and bear (ao3) - furryphil

Summary: 2009!phan in which dan finds something unexpected on phil’s phone. it’s not a bad thing, though phil is a bit embarrassed by it.

Distracting Boyfriends and Sleepy Kisses (ao3) - ElleF

Summary: Phil just wants his boyfriend to pay attention to him.

Home is Wherever I'm With You (ao3) - xoPrincessKayxo

Summary: Dan has a habit of showing up at Phil's place unannounced whenever he can't sleep. Phil doesn't mind at all

In another life you still would’ve turned my head (ao3) - natigail

Summary: Dan comes across old black and white photos of two queer men messing around, one playing with the other's hair, just like he did in a recent video with Phil. He gets caught up in the emotions that he would have fallen in love with Phil in any universe. He crawls into Phil's lap and tells him exactly that.

In Touch (ao3) - enbyishimaru

Summary: After seeing Dan being comfortable with himself in Australia, he plans a date night to encourage Dan to continue doing things that mqke him happy. Also combining my personal wanting Dan to catch up with Rick and Morty, so if you aren't caught up there will be spoilers.

Keep It Down (ao3) - INeverHadMyInternetPhase (BirbWatcher)

Summary: Phil wants a quiet life. That's all he's asked for. He doesn't want the new neighbour to blast music at him at 2 in the morning, so if he would kindly stop then that's all Phil needs

keep your brittle heart warm (ao3) - theloveofbees

Summary: this summer is strange. but its warm. and theres wine. and theres music. and maybe things will be okay.

Nothing Matters But Us Two (ao3) - expiredlove

Summary: Dan really doesn't want Phil to leave him after their joyful weekend playing Crash Bandicoot on the couch, so he convinces him to stay. Lots of cuddles ensue.

Of Racing Hearts and Weighted Blankets (ao3) - hygge

Summary: Phil wakes up with anxiety coursing through his body and finds that Dan is a pretty good weighted blanket.

Sleepy Movie Nights (ao3) - YourEyesHoldTheGalaxy

Summary: Dan and Phil need a movie night in and maybe just maybe, it’ll be different this time.

Sunshine and Snuggles (ao3) - Anonymous

Summary: - There were some days when Dan couldn’t stand the thought of being alone. They were few and far between, and impulsive, but whenever these days came about, he found himself clinging to Phil as if he was his lifeline. -

A day of Pastel Dan and Punk Phil cuddles.

Take a Picture and Frame It (ao3) - interruptedbyfjreworks

Summary: Dan's never been one to believe that 'everything happens for a reason', but he can't help but feel that Amelia was put into their lives by more than just an off-chance.

When I Think About My Future All I Think About Is You (ao3) - expiredlove

Summary: Dan looks back on their past and writes his favourite memories down for Phil to read. He talks about how he can't wait until their future together begins, but maybe it already has...

[gaycrimesagainstmutants]

Oh yasss rottmnt!!! Btw drink some water my fella!

Anyways, I was wondering if you could do a Donnie x male reader where the reader has recently adopted a kitten who's very playful and tends to scratch a lot but is still an adorable sweetheart and when Donnie goes to visit him, the kitten immediately likes him? I've seen cats distrust and dislike people that aren't good for their owners so the idea of the cat immediately accepting Donnie would be super cute imo. You can skip this ask if you want lol ^^

Kitty Cat

Genre: Fluff

A/N: I'm prettyyyy sure Mnt. Dew has water in it, so I should be good! :) Haha, in all seriousness, ya'll stay hydrated! And thanks for the request. ^-^

"I seriously doubt you thought this through," Donnie said, tapping his foot as you fiddled with the door to your apartment.

"I did, Don. Trust me when I say that this was a perfectly thought out plan," You replied with a smile, cheering as you finally got the door open. Damn door and it's finicky lock, Donnie knew he'd have to fix it someday soon. Lest you break your hand trying to get it open.

When you had called Donnie a few nights ago, saying you found a poor little kitten in an alleyway, abandoned by it's mother, he had thought you would take it to a shelter. Or maybe give it to some extended family members. Not immediately get attached and try to keep it.

Not that he's surprised, you always had a bleeding heart.

Now, you had somehow roped him into meeting the thing. Something about how you wanted your two favorite creatures to get along. Donnie still thought it was a bad idea - you lived in a rinky dink apartment in New York, a city which had a new mutant or yökai or another odd threat every other week - but he couldn't judge. Your life, your choice.

So, as you two stepped inside your apartment and you went to go put up your belongings, Donnie decided to go searching for the little creature who lived in your walls. Didn't take him very long, the thing had somehow slipped behind the microwave and was meowing loudly for someone to come save it.

Donnie picked up the kitten by the scruff of it's neck and held it up, examining the cat with an analytical eye. The kitten was still young enough that there wasn't any clear way to tell their gender and from what research he did on cat species, they seemed to be a Ragdoll. "Intriguing," he muttered.

"Donnie, I swear, if you're expirementing on poor Crash," you said as you walked into the kitchen, gently scopping the kitten from his grasp and setting them back down to let them scamper off to go explore the apartment more.

"Crash?" Donnie asked.

"Short for Crashworth Cortex Bandicoot the First," you said with a shrug, before leaving the kitchen to go sit on the couch. Donnie paused for a moment, thinking about how silly of a name that was for a cat, before turning his attention to your snack cabinet.

----

After settling down on the couch next to you - granola bar and flavorless juice in hand - he thought that was the last he'd see of Crash for the rest of the day, besides the little bugger running into the living room to play.

At least, until he started clawing at the couch, meowing for your attention.

"Aw, come here baby," You cooed, picking them up and holding the kitten close to your chest. Donnie could almost wish you'd talk to him like that - so soft and full of childish love - if you didn't already do that, in front of his brothers no less. Oh well, it's onlt naturally for a kitten to want to spend time with it's owner.

Yet, the kitten kept meowing.

"What's wrong baby?" You asked, still using that cute baby-talk voice as Crash simmied out of your arms and leaped over to him. They circled around on his lap for a while, before laying down to rest, purring. "Hey, they like you!" You exclaimed, eyes shining with pure delight.

"I...suppose so," Donnie said, confusion laced in his tone. He knows cats can eat turtles - and that cats will, on many occasions - so he thought Crash would just see him as a gaint, walking tray of yummy turtle meat.

He supposed not.

Slowly running his fingers through the cats fur he was...pleasantly surprised. Normally, stuff like cat's fur would trigger all his sensory issues, but this nice and fluffy and didn't feel like a thousand ants trying to bury under his skin.

"You good, babe? You're zoning out," You asked, tapping his shoulder lightly with a concerned look on your face. Donnie cleared his throat.

"There isn't anything wrong, my dear. Let us focus on the show. Oh, remind me, what's it about again?" Donnie asked. The question sent you on a hyperfocused-induced ramble, which allowed Donnie a moment of breath and also to distract you from the rare pet name that slipped out in a moment of weakness or how he kept petting the sleeping kitten for the rest of the marathon.

[hannahwashington]

ALSO IM JUST NOTICING YOUR HEADER IMAGE. I LOVE IT SO MUCH gundham danganronpa and crash bandicoot (is that his name im sorry) real. also btw feel free to talk abt th emountain experience bc i dont think i ever asked yet

YES HIS NAME IS CRASH BANDICOOT ive honestly BEEN waiting for someone to comment on my header it is one of my favourite images ever (thanks @horatios-mom). it's like a sequel to the era when i had lesbian crash bandicoot as my icon. i'm only through the prologue of sdr2 but i have been obsessed with gundham for Years,. i barely know the guy but i love him. i will Know More Soon. and trust i will be So mentally ill about him and also the series. i already Am i am just waiting to finish the games to post about them.

anyway MOUNTAIN EXPERIENCE. OH BOY. where to begin.

let me take you back to a time when a wide-eyed 17 year old Archie got traumatised by a mountain. sit back, relax, and follow along my recounting of an experience i found so horrible, i had to vent by projecting onto my favourite blorbos at the time. Don't worry, I am more than comfortable with sharing this story, and with hindsight know exactly where to direct my anger with what happened.

It's March 2020. I'm in my second-last year of high school. every year my school takes the people in this specific grade to a leadership camp to teach a variety of skills and stuff to prepare them for the next year, when they will be school leaders basically. this leadership camp happens to culminate in a hike up the Drakensberg, where we sleep overnight, then come back down and go back home.

To be Quite frank. I was Very Excited for this trip. the more school-related activities not so much, but getting the chance to hang out with my classmates outside of school and the hike were what excited me. I'm not the most fit person, but i loooove me a good nature walk.

So it's a few days before the hike. they take us out to a bunch of activities and it's pretty fun. we did an adventure park thing and i was in the middle of a massive tarzan fixation so when i went on a giant rope swing i did his iconic yell. there were ziplines. once when i went down a line i forgot to brake and SMACKED into the mattress on the tree. so that was fun. here's the thing though. they made us walk everywhere. and these weren't easy strolls, they were hikes in and of themselves. i can't speak for anyone else, but the days leading up to the hike were PAINFUL. my feet were so fucking sore and we hadn't even gone near the mountain yet.

Then they hit us with the "yeah we're pushing back the hike by a day because it's gonna be pissing buckets tomorrow." which, duh, of course it's gonna be pissing buckets, it's the drakensberg, it's kinda known for that. but also, that means another day of walking, another day of worsening the condition of my feet. i felt like sam from death stranding when you let him walk barefoot everywhere. it's around here where you might start recognising elements from the fic snippets i posted, by the way.

so the next day like the absolute ass he is, the headmaster (who joined us for. some reason) made us hike up a mini-mountain to 'prepare us' or something. he was a horrible person for completely unrelated reasons and this logic is totally and completely backwards. anyway, after THAT nightmare, we went tubing down a nearby river. this WAS fun. i went down the river multiple times even though my feet hurt like shit. i had to get my fleeting joy somewhere during this trip-turned-nightmare. everyone had fun except this one girl who was not lucky at all. at the end of the river there's a small drop and 99% of the time when you get there you fall out of your tube. she was one of these people, and was really unlucky as she ended up cutting her foot on a rock. she had to be pulled out of the river by a few of the boys.

now then you would THINK she would go home because of this. kind of a bad idea to hike up a mountain with a cut up foot. but no, like the madwoman she is, she decides to pull through. i respect her so much for it.

Anyway, next day comes, my feet are basically throbbing so bad it's like my heart practically lived in them, not even to mention the soreness in my legs. again - i was NOT fit. i was so nervous i could barely eat breakfast. i tried to twist it into something positive by being like "tehe i'm going up a mountain like my favourite teenaged blorbs" but it really was Not helping. sooooo we get to the foot of the mountain and get ready to go. a couple of girls left and missed the hike because they had a netball tournament or something. to this day i wonder if they realise Just how lucky they got.

This is the part i remember most vividly. the Worst part. we set off on our mountain adventure, and i repeat this mantra: keep pace with the person in front of you. which goes great for all of two minutes until like a whole five days of walking absolutely nonsensical distances catches up to me and i slow down and down and down until everyone has passed me and oops! i've stopped completely. my legs are Begging to be put out of their misery and i am Rooted To The Spot. to cut a long ass panic attack short eventually someone comes back to pick me back up and Get Me Up This Stupid Mountain. it wasn't sam unfortunately, it was the drama teacher, but he was a pretty cool person and probably most comforting adult there, so perfect to deal with me in that moment.

he tells me about setting little goals for myself, like finding a specific rock and making my way to it. break the whole hike down into thousands of little baby steps. this way, i actually started to make progress, little by little, until we break the tree line. i can't remember if this moment was in the snippets i posted, but i look up and see the rest of my classmates above me, and when they notice us they start whooping and cheering and singing break my stride (which is kinda the theme song of the trip, ngl). i was still kinda in hysterics so i yelled at them to shut up. looking back, i appreciate it so so much. anyways, the drama teacher and i carry on with our baby steps.

when i've calmed down enough i start talking. i can't remember if he told me to talk to get my mind off of things or if i started on my own, but in any case i just start talking. i know specifically i brought up treasure planet - my all time favourite movie - and he told me he hadn't heard of it. another fanfic snippet moment here: i did, in fact, rant to him about midsommar. i remember specifically talking about the daylight horror aspect and how the black bars could've been white instead to emphasise just how bright and sunny the film is. also at some point we passed random people on the road who didn't speak english and for some reason, to this day i still have no idea why, the drama teacher told me that he thinks those dudes were drug smugglers and using the trail to get drugs over the border. anyways.

eventually, after so, so long, we make it to the top. not the end of the hike, far from it, but the vertical climb is over. you see, this specific trail has like two hours of a horrible vertical climb, but after that, it's a basically-flat trail. not that that would make it any easier but anyway, i thought that the worst was over. from our position we could see the rest of the group, who were all resting by a fork in the path - a significant landmark. eventually we catch up to everyone, and if my fic is to be trusted, everyone started clapping and cheering and singing again, this time 500 miles (hardy har). this is one of the only details in the fic where i can't tell whether i made it up or if it's actually based on what happened. when i sat down, guess what, legs wanted to shrivel up and die, what else is new, but what really struck me was that Literally Everyone Was In The Same Position. some were crying. some were staring into space with cold, dead eyes. Nobody was having a good time. how foot-cut girl was even still here was what shocked me the most. again, CUT IN HER FOOT, it was PRETTY SUBSTANTIALLY SIZED. even so she did Not look good.

drama teacher had gone to talk to all the other adults about our (my and the injured girl's) predicament. we were in No position to carry on with the hike. (i'd argue nobody was but i digress). it was a full-blown argument from what i remember, and when the adults tried to talk to us they kept on interrupting each other. one kept trying to offer a way down, but another teacher (who championed this leadership camp btw, to put this into perspective) was Adamant we continue and simply sleep at the closer campsite.

You can probably guess what ended up happening.

The break just honestly made me feel Worse about moving, and my mentality obviously wasn't the best, and i sorta just really started missing home at this point, but i had to keep going. since it was flat this time i could actually keep some sort of pace, though head leadership camp teacher complained whenever i slowed down too much (actual villain of the story in hindsight). eventually we make it to one of the campsites.

Here's how the camps worked. every year the group split into two - boys and girls - and rotated each year on who went to each of the two campsites. one camp was by a river, the other by a cave. so, one year the boys would go to the cave and the girls to the river, and the next year they would switch. this year the girls were supposed to go to the cave. guess what. it's the further camspite - a good extra... i dunno, hour of walking? obviously injured girl and i couldnt do that. issue is, you need a tent to camp riverside - we obviously didnt have one. however someone, an actual god among men brought an extra tent with him. i never spoke to that kid. but he made it so we didn't have to suffer as much. so i hold a sort of affection for him.

so, the group splits and we finally, FINALLY get our chance to rest. properly. let me tell you, river water has never and i mean NEVER felt so good. i think i spent like a solid hour soaking my feet. the boys - who. somehow had energy after all THAT - made a dam out of rocks. one guy was taking pictures. i never took my own pictures of the mountain, even though the view was beautiful. i was in too much pain to care. i took a Single picture related to the hike itself, and i'll share that at the end of this thrilling tale. that evening after dinner, i snacked morosely and watched at least half of happy death day on my phone. maybe an episode of unbreakable kimmy schmidt, though i don't now for sure about that one. injured girl and i shared that extra tent.

oh yeah, and guess what. it ended up pissing buckets during the night. shocker.

anyway the next day comes and the walk back is worse. one of the other teachers decides to use 'tough love' on me - which was basically yelling at me and failing really badly at being encouraging. honestly would have preferred being tossed off the mountain instead because it just made me Very Distressed but anyway. what was nice was that this time for the walk injured girl and i were at the front of the line setting the pace. and also two of the boys, two absolute GENTLEMEN were walking with us and leading us. you know me, i'm a lesbian, but god i could've kissed them for what they did for us. (i did not but you get my point).

surprisingly the vertical climb down was the easiest part. the really, really vertical part anyway - which was mostly near the top. so easy that a few boys raced ahead of the group... and ended up taking a wrong turn and getting lost. more on them later. when we dipped into the treeline it felt like we were so close yet so far, SO close to ending this suffering, but every single turn without the tar road in sight made me fall deeper and deeper into despair. i think i literally yelled out "MERCY!" at some point. anyway when we did finally get to the road i started crying as we made our way back to the bus that would take us home.

everyone started taking showers, blessed, cold showers at the public bathrooms, and washing myself of the whole experience felt Wonderful. except it wasn't quite done insulting me just yet.

So. the day before we put our suitcases in the bus that would take us home. what they neglected to tell us was that we needed Everything we'd need for that day and the following day on our person. which means they wouldn't be taking our bags out of the bus, not even if we REALLY needed something. i didn't have my flip flops on me. i had put the shoes i had hiked in away (and also they were like sopping wet which is disgusting). it was hot as fuck and the parking lot outside was all gravel. i had to walk in that barefoot.

insult to injury.

i got myself ice cream. tried not to cry. we all had to wait for like half an hour as the lost boys made their way back to us (i can't remember if a teacher had to go back onto the path to find them or not). borrowed drama teacher's flip flops which were hilariously oversized. and then, literally RIGHT as everyone was boarding the bus to leave. i whip out my phone and grab the one and only picture i have related to the hike itself.

it was a long drive back to my home province. i put on some music, cuddled my pillow and tried to sleep. i mostly just tried not to sob. out of pain, relief, anguish - whatever. since it was a long drive, we stopped at a strip mall that's a really common sort of stopping station for people doing drives like this, such as to use the bathroom. another school happened to be pulled up as we stopped by here, and a girl gave me the filthiest, most judgmental look i have EVER seen because i was barefoot. i honestly don't blame her.

it was dark by the time we got back to the school. i did, in fact, cry when i saw my family. the very next day - no exaggeration, i'm 99% sure it was the VERY next day - it was announced that schools would be closing and the country would be going into lockdown due to covid. which means i got to spend the next, like, two weeks recovering instead of thinking about school. i think one of the days after i got back i watched interstellar. i was on a bit of a sci-fi kick. it was okay.

here's that picture i took outside the bus before we left for home.

people Did see me take this. a couple of my classmates made jokes about how they relate and at least one gave me a high five.

anyway, that's the story of my Mountain Experience™. again, more than comfortable sharing this story as i think it's quite important with understanding me and we know who to blame for putting us through this. i've had chats with other alumni who came before me and they had their Own nightmarish experiences with this camp, which makes me wonder how it continued being a thing for so long.

[securi-tye-blankey]

So the sonas got a makeover! My fiance's sona, Arc is a Ryhnoc. He's witty, but doesn't show that too often as he's very shy. However, he will often attempt to make friends with others. Given the right environment he proves to be a very honest and reliable companion to those he considers close.

Though the Ryhnoc race isn't very fleshed out, I like to believe that the Rhynocs hold a lot of pride in the professions they choose. It's how I can justify they're jump from the Sorceress, to Grendor (canon?), to Ripto. Anyway, at some point a group of Rhynocs got sick of the cycle and branched off and advanced on their own. We have a little headcanon that the Rhynocs managed to advance themselves enough to travel to other planets and dimensions to find work after the events of "Year of the Dragon". But we haven't really figured out how Arc would meet Pockets yet. That's not too important at the moment.

-----

Pockets is a retcon of my Fenomenan sonas Blankey and Jack. Their personality is a mix of the two. Pockets can pass for your average social person, but in reality they really would prefer to keep the conversations short when talking with someone they're not familiar with. Brief interactions are their preference, but will hold the communication if it's absolutely required. To friends, this is the exact opposite. They love to communicate and Pockets is more likely to reach out. Funny noises and mild pranks are their bread and butter. They stand at 4'10".

The headcanon that I have on Fenomenans is that they are a species of slime folk who's culture is mainly based around the clown, mime, jester, joker, etc(yes, juggalos count) stereotypes. Be it the good, bad, and the ugly. (Utopias are hard to come up with) Depending on the culture, they will dress in the race(?) attire while either sticking to the traditional look or adding to it, depending on family groups.

-----

Fun past headcanon: The original headcanon was a bit more sad for the Fenomenans and the Norms. My idea for why there were no Fenomenans (at the time) was due to an event that caused Fenomenon to suffer distortions in space/time on parts of the planet. The "Nitro Fueled" track "Out of time" is the main inspiration. Originally, it was supposed to be wumpa fruit but, when out of time came out, I had changed it to be caused by a very bizarre purple fruit.~

Small Norm was affected by said event, leading the unintended creation of Big Norm and his hoarding/protecting of books. It's the final records of his species, and he's attempting to keep the culture alive through himself. However, through his interactions with Emperor Velo, he gained a strong distrust of outsiders and refuses to share what knowledge that is currently left. (I'll type a whole thing on it eventually.)

N. Fo was a bit of a foil to Small Norm in the story, being fascinated by the possibility of bettering the tech that caused the event to further advance other civilizations, but also doing it out of his own arrogance of wanting to achieve something to advance the galaxtic technologies and make a name for himself. (This is the brief outline btw)

I'm considering just making this it's own separate AU as I think the story I had was interesting, but a bit too much for the tone of the Crash Bandicoot series. I literally stopped with the comic because it was getting a bit too dark as I got too invested in these characters.

All this over rerolling in the shop to do story mode with Moe, just to discover the Norms... Just to never beat all of story mode with Moe.

[selitoxicmoon]

Yeah, even though it sucks that the AU is cancelled for now, i'm glad that my asks got answered. Besides the main gangs, who're the main villains in your AU and are Cortex & Malefor still around?

That my friend is the most cooking part I'm excited to show a lot of dark vibes on it (bc this AU is +18)

You see, N-Sane Kingdom is a mix city between the world of Spyro, Skylanders and Crash Bandicoot. Where yes! The Skylanders and it's characters and species are there! Some villains of those three worlds got redeemed while others still planning the bad in the shadows.

As this is a modern like ambience, Malefor and Cortex have their own independent mafias, including Kaos dad (Eon's brother). Malefor is mostly the mega boss of everything that gave an alliance contract to Cortex for their mafias to join for power, then Eon's brother would join as he's very powerful in dark magic. Cortex is threatened to do so by N tropy as he is part of his mafia, plus they need money to still up in their lives.

Cortex agrees and call Pinstripe for a rehiring and explain the plan even if he was retired (but his gang of potoroos were starving and living in awful circumstances so he had to agree).

Malefor's mafia is formed as being Malefor the main boss, while the rest of it's sector (which controls different armies) are Gnasty Gnorc, Ripto, the Enchantress, Red and Malefor's personal body guard, the Ice King.

Cortex's mafia meanwhile there's N-Tropy, N-Gin, N-Brio, Pinstripe and Uka Uka. They're few but they've got minions and the power of multiverses and technology.

Then there's Strykore (Eon's brother and Kaos dad), after Kaos and Kaossandra be redeemed, he got total control on all skylands villains and criminals as the dark master, he's a big friend of Malefor. Strykore, have the power of corruption which is why their mission is to corrupt the city and it's civilians/heroes upon dark magic. Strykore gang are basically the Doom Raiders plus more! Even tho he can create many monsters as he wishes.

Summary, they work in the shadows and they will attack/strike the right moment when our heroes are off guard (the consequences are not funny at all like, it's mafia, you can wait ANYTHING from them).

[magicalgirlagency]

How do you feel about Sonic Real Time Fandubs?

They're absolutely asinine (affectionate). And Lythero's lives and Tio Gordo's Crash Bandicoot videos are on the same level, too.

Here are some of my favorite quotes/dialogues (the list's rather long, so stay for a li'l while):

[SILVER]: "Y'know, maybe things aren't so bad! I'm here, with a nice ocean breeze, alone with my thoughts..."

[...]

[BLAZE]: "Hey, Silver!"

[SILVER]: "GODDAMNIT--"

⭐

[MEPHILES]: "In the future, looks like you'll kiss seven girls! How lucky for you!"

[SHADOW]: "JOKES ON YOU! If you were a true copy of me, you'd know that I'm GAY!"

⭐

[SONIC]: "Shadow, you're an asshole, man."

[SHADOW]: "You are what you eat, Sonic!"

⭐

[STORM]: I can't see the end of the horizon-- HATSUNE MIKU?!?!? IS THAT YOU?!?!?!"

⭐

[MEPHILES]: "You silly feeble-minded little gay... I am so far beyond Fortnite!"

⭐

[DR. EGGMAN]: "I am going to kill you... and then, kill you again."

⭐

[AMY]: "SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH, YOU PIECE OF SHIT!! I DID NOT GO TO FOUR YEARS OF MASTERS' SCHOOL TO GET TO BE CALLED A DUSTY BITCH!!"

[SONIC]: "Okay, what did you go for, though? 'Cause I can't tell."

⭐

[CHARMY]: "Yippieee! I can die happy tomorrow!"

⭐

[SONIC]: "Hahaha, ONE!"

⭐

[AMY]: "You... MOTHERFUCKER!! You just left me to DIE!!"

[SONIC]: "Top 30 Reasons Why Sonic Is Sorry (No. 5 Will Surprise You!)"

[AMY]: "Top 30 Anime Deaths! No. 1: YOUR ASS RIGHT FUCKING NOW!!"

⭐

[JET]: "I love stealin' shit! Great day!"

⭐

[SONIC]: "Woah, he's bisexual! I didn't know that!"

[DR. EGGMAN]: "Also, I'm bisexual, by the way--"

⭐

[DR. EGGMAN]: "The CAUCACITY of this bitch..."

⭐

[SHADOW]: "Well, you know what they say: If you kill someone, you get ALL of their Sin Points!"

[DR. EGGMAN]: "Well, DUH, you idiot! That's what I've just said!"

[SHADOW]: "Yes, I'm gonna kill YOU!"

[DR. EGGMAN]: "You fu-- What. Wait a minute, I don't-- I don't wanna die yet, wai--"

⭐

*Downloading: Weed.exe...*

[E-123 OMEGA]: "HOOOOLLLLYYY SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII--"

⭐

[SHADOW]: "You forgot the number one sin, Devil: Thou shall not have any gods before ME!"

⭐

[SHADOW]: "So... King of Hell... President... I have all of this power at my fingertips..."

[...]

[BLACK DOOM]: "Heeeeeeeyyyy, whazzzuuuuuuppp? It's meeeeeeeeeee~!"

⭐

[SONIC]: "Hey, wanna join? You guys wanna start a polyamorous marriage?"

⭐

[SONIC]: "Okay, how fast do you wanna run? Too fast? Three fast? Twelve fast?"

⭐

[DR. EGGMAN]: "I'M BACK IN THE FUCKING BUILDING AGAIN!!!"

⭐

[MEPHILES]: "Welcome to my house. As you can see, I've knocked so many chairs over because I'm getting so TiLtEd At ThE tOwErS!"

⭐

[BLACK DOOM]: "It's real cute you're gonna defeat me with the PoWeR oF fRiEnDsHiP an' all, but again, I am The Devil, from, The Bible!"

⭐

[STORM]: "Ugh... I just remembered a traumatizing from my past; hang on, I have to stim and I'll feel better..."

⭐

[JET]: "I hear womanly emotions..."

[WAVE]: I'm NOT a girl, you idiot! I am a SWALLOW! Jesus! It's not that hard!"

⭐

[ELISE]: "It has been like, a week... I've lost track of time... I'm not sure if I'm a person..."

[AMY]: Hmmm, you won't be, in juuuuust a second!"

⭐

[SONIC]: "I'm gonna kill all of you!"

⭐

[SHADOW]: "Diamonds aren't green, dicknips."

⭐

[DR. EGGMAN]: "You have 13 seconds before the island fucking explodes, you Hot Topic-wannabe and you blue gumball son of a bitch! You have done nothing but destroy my life; I hope you both DIE."

⭐

[MARIA]: "I'm dying... because I'm so surprised..."

⭐

[BLACK DOOM]: "Errm, Bing-Bong! Uhh hey, what's up! You're doin' a bad job!"

[fictionkinfessions]

(i'm not sure if this aligns with the rules of the canon offspring game so feel free to not tag it as that if it doesn't)

i guess i *kind of* had a kid. canon character but from a non canon timeline. she was my boss's niece. i was in my 20s and had only started working for him a year or two prior to when she showed up. for some reason his family had passed down custody of her to him? terrible choice in my opinion. honestly u would think he'd give up the whole world domination, getting revenge on those who wronged him thing since there was now a child involved but after spending nearly all of my childhood with him i've learned that caring for people was something he had no interest in. it was sad honestly. he was so busy with experiments and trying to satiate his unreasonable hatred for everyone that he simply just forgot about the fact that he was supposed to be raising a child. so to make up for his self centeredness i stepped up. i was just as busy as master and had ZERO experience with childcare but i promised myself that i would care for her to the best of my ability. i taught her how to walk, talk, read, write, and bake among other things. anything that i thought would come in handy later in her life really. as i watched her grow up i realized... i loved her. i loved her like she was *my* daughter. and it's funny bc love was a feeling i didn't even know i could feel anymore. but even though *i* saw her as my child she probably didn't see it too. as much as i don't want it to be the case she most likely only saw me as a babysitter or just a really good family friend. but... that's okay. as long as she was happy.

i never get all mushy n stuff bc it makes me feel weird but... nina.. i'm sorry that i left u. know that i love u with all of my cold metal heart. i hope that ur safe and well away from ur bad uncle. 🧡

- dr. n. gin 🚀💥 (crash bandicoot, non canon timeline)

x

[faroresson]

Stupid Snavid Headcanons because i cant sleep

-Hates being out of the loop and Needs To Know What's Going On At All Times which directly causes problems with the next one

- Also will consciously stop listening if somebody starts telling him things above his paygrade because the less he knows the longer his annual attempt at retirement gets to be

- Retro Gamer, he's got a ps1 with some Konami games (and Crash Bandicoot) and a SNES with mario and a racing game or two

- During his 4 year stint in the "Canadian Wilderness" in the 90s (I assume Yukon but it could reasonably be any territory and a good chunk of north western or north eastern provinces) Snake picked up Canadian slang and cant put it down ("Hey, I'm goin out for a dart, brb" "Where the hell are you gonna throw darts around here??" "I'm going for a smoke," "ah")

- I prolly talked about this one but David keeps the bandana Meryl gives him on at all times, the usual way for missions and either around his neck or wrist when not

- He'll talk to dogs like they're a people. No baby talk or anything just normal talking.

- Won't drink moutain dew, never liked the taste and then Chronically Online Hal "Otacon" Emmerich called it Gamer Fuel once and now its also just banned from his presence

- The handshake was mostly his idea. Otacon made an offhand comment about secret handshakes one time and immediately Snake was planning out theirs, "It'd be kinda cool if we had a handshake, eh?" "That sounds kinda dumb, lets do it."

- He puts people's codenames in his phone or Firstname Lastname, but nothing silly because otherwise he'd forget who's who

-related to the above, he's bad with names. No reason for this one I just think its funny

-Doesn't have the exact same penchant for eating random wildlife as his father... but it got pretty close in his FOXHOUND days

- Will go to fairs and carnivals and shit Just To Buy Deep Fried Mars Bars but feels weird about just getting pop from a fast food place so he'll buy a full meal even if he isnt hungry

[n-brio]

What A Crash Bandicoot Character Can Teach Us about Toxic Relationships

This fantastic article by Cole D from plumjuicegaming unfortunately went down with the site it was hosted on. Luckily, the Wayback Machine archived a copy, which I now share with my fellow N. Brio fans on tumblr. ^w^

Note that it was written in Aug. 2019, before the announcement/release of It's About Time. Text in (italics and parentheses) was a caption for an image that is no longer viewable.

Video game platforming villains are repetitive, predictable clowns.

As much as I love them—and I do—these characters do the same thing every single time. They kidnap a princess or steal a MacGuffin or attempt to seize power in some kingdom, and they never. Change. Course.

Of course I'm mainly talking about the ones who appear in more than one game, so I can't be too hard on the Lord Fredriks or the Sorceresses of the world, however one-note they may be. You know who comes to mind when I say "platformer villain"—Bowser, Eggman, Dr. Wily, King K. Rool...all of these jerks try the same thing over and over, and they just never seem to truly give up, even when their skin melts off in a pool of lava.

It's sort of an inevitability of the genre, you could say; most platformers don't have super involved stories, so when you need to crank out an Excuse Plot for the ninth installment of your jump'n'run franchise, you usually don't feel the need to pull out all the stops in the villain department. You stick with what's familiar, with what the fans will recognize. It's why the Mario series never branches out with new bad guys anymore. It's why we're still seeing Dr. Wily after all of these years. It works, people like these characters, so the developers keep on using 'em! No problem, right?

Well, no, not really. I mean, I freaking love Bowser. And when King K. Rool was replaced by a walrus copy of himself, that decision was met with cold disappointment. Usually, there's no problem with using the same villain over and over again—not at all.

But the way the Crash Bandicoot series does this is...interesting. On the surface it fallows the same practice as your Marios and your Mega Men: you've got Neo Cortex as the main villain in nearly every game, with a rotating cast of misfits serving as henchmen for boss fights. But there's one dork who stands out as the one guy who called it quits, seemingly, for good. Of course, I'm talking about Dr. Nitrus Brio.

(He doesn't have one screw loose, but he is a little nuts.)

You may not remember if you haven't played the games in a while, but this guy was once just about as important as Cortex. The two doctors stood side-by-side and worked together to create crazy mad scientist stuff like deranged kangaroos and gun-toting weasels, and Brio even served as the penultimate boss in Crash 1 instead of siccing another mutant on the poor bandicoot. The problem was that Cortex never really seemed to respect the contributions that Brio made to their work—he took credit for the Evolvo-Ray, the device that mutated all of Cortex and Brio's minions as well as Crash Bandicoot himself. Brio never had the self-esteem to step up and claim ownership despite the fact that he invented the thing.

Fast forward to Crash 2: Cortex Strikes Back. We see Brio again, via hologram, and he finally airs his grievances out loud to a very confused Crash. We learn that he invented the Evolvo-Ray, and that he's now developed an intense hatred for Cortex as a direct result. Brio gets his revenge on Cortex by having Crash gather up the gems, and the frenemies use their energy to destroy his spaceship.

And that...was the end of N. Brio's story.

Crash Bandicoot 3: Warped, the most popular game in the franchise, did not feature N. Brio in the slightest. Crash Team Racing doesn't even offer him as a racer. His and Cortex's union was now just a memory, like a middle school friendship that fizzles out before ninth grade. It's strange, too, because CTR even brought back some characters who had been long abandoned, like Papu Papu and Pinstripe. But they didn't think to include the guy who created Crash?

The thing about the Crash Bandicoot series is that villain characters are rarely retired. You'd be hard pressed to find a game after Crash 1 that doesn't feature Tiny Tiger, Dingodile or N. Gin in some way, to say nothing of Cortex himself. So why did this once-prominent figure go gently into the night? Why did Naughty Dog throw him away like a broken beaker?

Well, I believe that Nitrus Brio was less a villain in this scenario, and moreso a victim. A victim of a toxic relationship with Dr. Neo Cortex, who stole his inventions and never showed even a modicum of respect for his colleague. That's why after settling the score in Crash 2, Brio removed himself from the situation—there was no longer anything to be gained by involving himself in the affairs of Cortex or Crash or Nitrous Oxide because he'd had enough. He'd done everything there was to do at this point—playing the villain? Didn't go so well. Siding with Crash? Worked out pretty great, but now that was done. Brio never really had a reason to return to center stage of a Crash game, so like any autonomous human being would do, he decided to end his involvement with all parties.

This might seem silly given that, well, this is a silly series—a series where most of the villains you fight are mutated animals who speak with accents or broken English. A series where you collect fruits to get extra lives like you're some kind of ape with a tie. In other words, it's a cartoony platformer—the developers Naughty Dog probably weren't intending to include subtext of an abusive partnership, were they?

I would argue that this doesn't matter.

Regardless of authorial intent, N. Brio's story is inspiring. Have you ever been friends with someone who never seemed to care about you or your accomplishments? Has anyone ever taken credit for something you've done, whether that be at work or in your personal life? N. Brio was in a situation just like this, and he...just left.. No coming back for round three, not even coming back for the fun kart racer where even the Japanese bootleg character was invited! Why would he want to race go-karts with the man who stole his inventions and wasted years of his life? No, as far as Naughty Dog was concerned, that was where Brio's tale ended. That was the last we were to see of the Simpsons-looking scientist, and that was for the best. Perhaps he went on to become a bartender, or a disc jockey, or even a well-regarded inventor in his own right—as long as he was away from Cortex, I'm sure he was happy.

It's just too bad that the other developers didn't pick up on this.

Now, I know: this is all just fan interpretation to begin with. There's no real evidence that Naughty Dog strictly intended for Crash 2: Cortex Strikes Back to be Brio's final appearance for the rest of time (though I could argue that leaving him out of the all-star kart racer was pretty damning). This is just how I've come to understand the character over the years, but regardless of what I thought or wanted, N. Brio would go on to appear in several games after the Crash Bandicoot series left the hands of Naughty Dog.

And I think that's kind of a shame.

The very first post-ND game was Crash Bash, and wouldn't you know it—Brio's back, aligned with Cortex once again like nothing ever happened. Yeah, it's a party game, but it still has a story justifying its events in-universe, and with only eight playable characters it would have been so easy to throw in Pinstripe or Komodo Joe or the freaking hog from the first game to take his place on the roster. But as if to intentionally poke a hole in my entire theory, Eurocom reintroduced N. Brio and deleted any kind of progression he might have made in his past two appearances. He was Cortex's buddy once again, fighting for the evil side! Woohoo!

Next was Twinsanity, and this game has the decency at the very least not to partner him up with Cortex again. Instead, he works with Dr. N. Tropy to find...treasure, or something, and gets defeated by Spyro (this was a weird game). It's not an awful portrayal, but frankly, unnecessary. Why is Brio involving himself with these rejects again? When has he ever been motivated by wealth? Didn't this game have enough villains already? At the end of the day, I can only be thankful that he and Cortex weren't buddy-buddy again—although partnering up with someone who was still allied with Cortex is...an odd strategic decision.

Brio's final appearance, and likewise the series's final appearance for about eight years was in Mind over Mutant, an even weirder game than Twinsanity that has South Park cutscenes and self-aware humor. For once I believe he was actually done a little bit of justice. He's back with Cortex, but this is actually portrayed as an anomalous development in the dynamic of the characters—it's made clear that Cortex and Brio were not on good terms prior to the events of this game.. He's gone slightly mad like any good scientist should be, constantly taking credit for things he didn't invent in a humorous over-correction of his previous passive nature. It's also pretty funny that drinking from strange beakers, something he did in his original boss fight for practical purposes, is now something that he just does for fun. It could just be his portrayal by the always-fantastic Maurice LaMarche, but I really like this take on Brio. If they couldn't leave him be, at least they gave him a continuation that made sense for his character.

(All of these screenshots are from the same game.)

Personally I tend to ignore Brio's appearances in later games (but I don't ignore the games themselves—how does that work?). I think his story was told best in the span of two games, and also by nature of his absence in the following two. There's no need to bring back every single character who's ever appeared, whether you're in charge of a dumb video game franchise or an HBO original series, just because you want to have fan service and continuity nods in a shallow attempt at recreating the good old days. A healthy balance of old and new is always best, and if something seems to be a relic of the past, maybe that's for a reason.

So what can we learn from Dr. Nitrus Brio? I think it's important to realize that if you find yourself in a toxic or abusive relationship, whether it be personal or professional, it's always best to leave that relationship behind. Of course, this is sometimes hard for those who rely on their abusers for financial support. Some don't even know that they're in an unhealthy situation until it's too late. Whatever the case, it can be a complicated, sticky mess; but at least N. Brio shows that if you're given a clear out, you should just take it. That's advice I live by, and N. Brio deserves all the credit for that.

[leopoldainter]

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Pinned Post (Read First)

Warning:

This blog has the potential to have adult material unsuitable for children or those with weak constitutions. If you are unable to block /ignore content you know is not for you, please keep away. Minors DNI.

NSFW means more than just sexual material. The material showcased can be Yandere, manipulation, adult situations, horror situations, stalking, blood, gore, and preying, among many other things that will be tagged. I will add tags if needed. These will often be ideas pulled from real-life crime cases.  The material can be tri-folded in the case of a villain. These themes are not to be taken lightly. 

Do not interact if you cannot handle these.

I analyze fictional characters. I am a crime buff with SOME psychological insight and I am desensitized to a good bit. I often forget that many aren't so if I say something that makes you uncomfortable, I'm sorry. I love the darker side of things and delving into bad endings for various characters.

The Ask box is open for headcanons and such. I do bite, but not often so don't be afraid to start a conversation. Fair warning, hate, and such will be laughed at and put on display. Telling me to kill myself or insulting me in any way doesn't work on me and I think that scares people.

I have done requests in the past but until I get the rules up, I'll be holding off on those. Headcanon asks are welcome until then. I will say if I have to research a condition that isn't listed, I'm less likely to answer it as I may not do the condition justice. 8<

Series:

Welcome Home, The Amazing Digital Circus, Greylock, Mandela Catalogue, The Backrooms/Liminal Spaces, and most Youtube Analog Horror series I'll add as they pop up.

OCs so far:

Renegade (previously known as "Skein", renamed out of anger by Caine due to their behavior) - TADC - Muted, upbeat Stuntman/Evel Keneval aesthetic with an androgynous form who is chaos incarnate with cheat codes and the ability to No Clip on command. They have a helmet with kitty ears and a cape that resembles bat wing webbing with black and orange coloring. Renegade is muted by Caine due to a "copyright" fear and locked away until he can "reason" with them. Why they can use these abilities is unknown even to Caine. Besides Caine, Bubble is the only one with access to their enclosure. Once released, Renegade will unleash absolute mayhem on the circus and anything Caine has created and seems to dance/react to music no one can hear but themselves. Inspo is Crash Bandicoot, Junko Endoshima, and boundary breakers/speed runners on YouTube. - Stormy Knight - WH - A little Ragdoll Muppet who lives in a cozy cottage in the woods on the outskirts of the town with a monster "uncle". She loves fireflies, wandering around at night, creepy things, and likes to teach people how to handle their fears. She is also good at sleight of hand or illusion "magic". Inspo is Raggedy Ann/Andy, Jim Henson's The Labyrinth, and Eureka's Castle. - The Backrooms - Level 9705 - Superstore after closing. Needs to be its own post.

*This blog does not contain jump scares without ample warning ahead of time. I'm personally not a fan of them.

**Everything will be tagged appropriately.