#is health goth still a thing

[damnationrelic]

[lucalicatteart]

A few little sketches of some possible school uniforms for mage schools/learning centers for magic/etc. :0c Though because Nanyevimi is so scattered and disconnected, it'd actually vary much more by region (like not everywhere would have a cultural concept of what a suit jacket or neck tie looks like lol), so it's probably unrealistic for so many of them to follow too many traditional Uniform Conventions from cultures in our world, etc. But, still, fun to mess around with designs, and think about which would be most fun to wear/what school you'd go to just based off the clothing lol~

[urbanfiltered]

🖤

[that-house]

Potion Vendor FAQs:

What’s your name? I am the Honorable Alchemist Zykocea the Radiant, but that’s mostly just a PR thing. My friends call me Zoe.

Do you sell love potions? No.

Do you sell potions of invisibility? No.

Do you sell fire resistance potions? No.

Why do I have a suitcase? Fuck if I know. Cool outfit though. Very goth.

Do you sell a potion to treat brain hemorrhaging? No.

So what CAN your potions do? I sell health potions.

Are you sure these are health potions? They do something to your health.

Is this just ditch water with some pink glitter? No.

Really? I’ll have you know I added some fruit juice too.

Why is this starting to sound like a conversation? Oh just you wait. We’re just getting started.

Is your business model legal? Fuck no. I poisoned the food safety inspector before they could snitch.

Did you just admit to murder? Just fucking try to convict me. I’ll poison the judge too.

So can you make poison potions? No.

Then where do you get the poison? I secrete it from my skin.

Are you shitting me? Yep, I’m shitting you. I have a guy. A poison guy. He DOES secrete it from his skin though.

How does that work? …Fuck if I know. Maybe a wizard did it. Damn, now I’m kinda curious.

You never asked? The idea of asking literally never crossed my mind.

Wanna ask him? Let’s do it. I don’t have anything better to do, and a road trip beats sitting around running my fraudulent potion business.

Road trip? He lives in Seattle.

Your poison guy lives in Seattle? All poison guys live in Seattle.

For real? All the poison guys I know live in Seattle.

And how many poison guys do you know? Just the one.

Why are you like this? Years of living on my potions. It changed me.

Do you know what his address is? Nope. He just mails me my poison in unmarked boxes.

You just get your poison in the mail? We already poisoned everyone who could do anything about it.

So how are we going to find him? We’ll figure that out eventually I’m sure.

Can I drive? God no. You can pick music, but I maintain veto rights. Make sure you pick something with a lot of questions if you want to sing along.

Where’s your car? The garage connects to my house, so you’re getting a little tour. Here’s the kitchen: only one of the stove burners works and I’m pretty sure the microwave is haunted.

Why do you think that? Because of the ghost that tries to kill me whenever I run it.

What’s in that room? That’s my bedroom. It’s pretty much just a mattress on the floor and every single Warrior cats book.

You were a Warriors kid? Yeah, and then I never found the time to put the books away. There’s so many fucking books. I use them in place of furniture because I can’t afford chairs.

Your fraudulent potion business doesn’t make much money? After buying all that poison I just about break even.

Can I see your potion brewing room? It’s right through here. Ignore the mess, running a fraudulent potion business takes a lot of prop work, but I’ve got all the glass tubes and colorful liquids you could ever want. This pink stuff is melted watermelon italian ice. Glitter vat is in the basement, and the famous ditch is in the backyard.

Is this your car? My beloved ‘72 Corolla. She’s beautiful, and don’t you dare imply otherwise.

Was she always this shade of muddy brown? …Yes.

Are you sure I can’t drive? Get in the fucking passenger seat and pick the music.

Let’s see, a song with questions in it, how about The Beach? That Wolf Alice song, yeah. That should work.

When will we three meet again, in thunder, lightning, in rain? Still sink our drinks like every weekend but I’m sick of circling the drain.

When will we meet eye to eye? We clink the glass but we look at the floor.

Are we still friends if all I feel is afraid? You’re not a bitch but just a bit when you’re bored.

Is that all we can sing together? Yep. Even that little bit was nice, though. It’s awkward, communicating through this FAQ format.

Got any food? Yeah, there’s a few days’ worth of snacks in the back.

Were you just… prepared to go on a road trip? Says the woman who brought a suitcase to an FAQ.

I did do that, didn’t I? I have a spare toothbrush in case you forgot yours. I’m pretty sure you did.

How did you know that? …I’m psychic.

Yeah? No.

You love lying, don’t you? I can’t stop. It’s fun. Way more fun than telling the truth.

Did you just miss a turn? Probably.

Are you sure we’re not lost? No.

You mean you’re sure we’re not lost? No, I mean I’m not sure we’re not lost.

Why did I come on this road trip? Surely it was my winning personality.

Would it help if I said it was? It would.

Is it getting dark? Soon.

Can you describe the sunset to me? An empyrean flame, red-gold towers of darkening clouds, the sky behind them an ever-deepening indigo. The great eye of the sun closes on the horizon. The road before us looks like a trail of spilled paint, an iridescent gash through the night-dark woods.

Did you know that you’d make a slightly better poet than you do a potion seller? That really isn’t saying much, huh. Good job making a statement like that in question form, though. You’re getting good at this.

Should we find a motel? Sure.

One room or two? One. It’s way cheaper, and like I said: I’m not the best potion vendor.

You’d make a good assassin, though, wouldn’t you? Shit, you might be right. I HAVE poisoned a lot of people.

Should I be endorsing this? You’re a grown woman who can make her own choices.

Would you like to consider it endorsed? I’ll consider considering it.

How many beds do you think there will be? Now that you’ve asked that, I’m gonna put my money on one. Hello, one room please. Thank you, we’ll be sure to enjoy our stay.

How many beds are there? One.

Oh no, what ever will we do? Move over, you motherfucker, you can’t have the whole bed.

Are you gonna make me? Yes. I am going to pick you up and drop you on your side of the bed.

How did you get so strong? You’re not gonna believe this, but it was the potions.

Oh yeah? I was right. You didn’t believe me.

For real though, how did you get so strong? Working out, duh. Not everything has some big crazy secret behind it. World’s still beautiful though.

Are you comfortable? This beats the mattress at home. A little chilly though.

Wanna cuddle–for warmth of course? God yes.

Are you asleep? …

Yes? …

Does this mean I can talk about you behind your back? …

What should I say? …

Did you know that I had a really nice day? …

Did you know that I think you’re beautiful? …

Did you know that I can’t remember anything from before today? …

Did you know that I don’t know who I am? …

Did you know that you’re basically the only thing stopping me from having a full-blown panic attack about all this shit? …

Did you know that you’re warm? …

Did you sleep well? Better than at home, that’s for sure.

Did you know that you snore? I hope I didn’t keep you up.

Does the pope shit in the woods? No, as far as I can tell. Oh my god. This is huge.

What is? You can give me yes and no answers now. I still can’t ask you questions, because this is a question and answer format, but I can offer leading statements and now you can answer them! This is wonderful!

Does a deer shit in the woods? Yes, it IS wonderful. Oh that’s amazing. You’re a genius.

You didn’t already know that? Hahaha!

Shall we get moving? Yeah, just let me grab something from the vending machine.

Can you get me something? Go ahead and place your order however you can.

You know those sour gummy watermelons? One pack of Sour Patch Watermelons coming right up. I’m gonna go get myself a potion.

Is that a Pepsi? It’s closer to a potion than the shit I sell.

Let me guess, passenger seat again? Right you are.

How fast are we going? You’ll feel safer if you just guess.

Is it more than 120 miles per hour? Like I said, it’s probably better if you don’t know.

150? Sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride.

How much do you trust this car? She hasn’t blown up on me yet.

Can you promise me we won’t crash? I can promise you anything you want.

And can you keep that promise? I- we can do anything. Reality is what we make of it, baby!

Then can I have a badass tattoo? As far as I can tell, you’ve always had it.

And a cool knife? Woah, cool knife.

So, we’re just playing “yes and” with the world? It’s a little more complicated than that, but you’re close enough to the mark.

So, if I was hungry, I could ask “is that a Burger King,” and it would be there? Try it and find out!

Is that a Burger King? Looks like it is! We’ll stop here if that’s alright with you.

Does a moose shit in the woods? Awesome.

Are you done eating? Yep.

Do we still have to pay if we skip over the transaction? Sadly, yes.

How much further do we have to go? Two more nights, the speed we’re going at.

Speaking of night, isn’t it getting dark? Shit, I guess it is.

Should we get another motel? Let me check to see if there’s any nearby. Fuck, nothing.

What’s the plan? Sleep in the car, I guess. This is gonna be hell on my back.

Wanna watch dumb videos on my phone until we fall asleep? There is literally nothing in the world that I would like more.

Ok, now which video? You have a very cute yawn. Just saying. Let’s watch this one next, it’s a classic. Oh, never mind. It looks like you’re asleep. As long as I keep talking, I think I can get away with making this into one answer, and you might not hear this. Now it’s my turn to talk about you behind your back. Keep talking keep talking keep talking can’t stop to think. Just have to say things. First off, I’m sorry for all the lies. It’s our only chance. I have to lie to you. I hope you’ll understand. It’s hard, though, because I think I’m falling in love all over again. Through our broken little ritual of call and response, you complete me. It just makes this hurt all the more. Keep talking keep talking keep talking don’t stop to…

Did I hear you saying anything as I fell asleep? …No. I can’t talk for long without you asking me a question.

Does that bother you? It got me here, didn’t it?

When did you start holding my hand? Some time after you passed out. I hope you don’t mind.

Can we stay like this for a while? Yeah. Yeah we can.

What was your life like before all this? Normal, as potion-brewing scams go. And if you don’t count all the murders. You haven’t told me much about yourself.

Did I tell you I used to be a biologist? You didn’t tell me that, and you didn’t tell me what you studied, either.

What do you know about venom? Not much, but I’m assuming you know a lot.

Does a box jellyfish kill within minutes? I’m going to assume the answer is yes based on context clues. Oh my god you must be on this road trip because you’re interested in studying my poison guy.

Is it not enough to wish to accompany a beautiful stranger on her quest? Aw, you’re sweet.

What could be the cause of his poison, though? I knew it! Get your ideas out, I’ll stay quiet.

I’m more knowledgeable about venom than poison, but could it be some sort of one in a trillion mutation? …

Did he get his body modified? …

What sort of surgery could do that? …

How is he still alive? …

Did a fucking wizard do it? …

WHY? …

HOW? …

Is there literally ANY explanation for why he’s like that? …

I’m done, do you have something you want to say? You’re cute when you’re all excited like that.

Can I drive today? Only because I like you. Now watch out, the brakes only work on one side so you have to kind of drift to a stop. And the headlights don’t work. And the windshield wipers cut power to the engine while they’re on.

Isn’t it weird that we’ll be there tomorrow? The journey doesn’t have to stop there. We could meander down the coast a ways, see a bit more of the country, maybe take a different route back.

Can we do that? Of course.

Enjoying the passenger seat? I’d love it if you could tell me how fast we’re going.

Are you sure you wouldn’t rather just guess? Very funny.

Can you pass me some chips? It would be an honor.

Is there going to be a motel tonight? Let me check… yeah, in about two hundred miles, off to the right.

How many rooms do we want? One, obviously.

How many beds, this time? Two, and they’re fucking tiny.

That’s bullshit, do you want to drag them together? God yes.

Wanna fuck? God yes.

Are you sure you want to do this? God yes.

…Is this yuri? As the joke goes, everything is yuri. But this is more yuri than most things.

How did you sleep? Pretty well, and I’m wondering how well you slept.

How should I tell you I slept well? Look at us go! That was almost like talking normally!

Onward to Seattle? Yep, just let me get dressed.

When will we get there? Noon-ish.

Wanna grab pastries when we’re done? Absolutely. I’d love that.

Is this Seattle? Looks like it.

Which house is his? I don’t know, I was really hoping we’d have a breakthrough along the way.

Could it be the big one labeled “Poison Guy” over there? That’s one way to find it. Wait right here, you know how poison guys are about meeting new people.

So, what was it? HAHAHAHAHAHA

Why is he like that? HAHAHAHAHAHA

Can you tell me? A FUCKING WIZARD DID IT.

Are you fucking serious? He says he was enchanted by some guy called Edward the Great.

So it wasn’t even some big shot wizard it was a dude named fucking EDWARD? I know, right! He couldn’t even get ensorcelled by someone cool!

How lame can you get? Wizards these days… No swagger. No cunt servitude.

Are there literally any cool wizards left? I think Merlin’s big into multi level marketing these days, something about buying shares in Excalibur or some shit. There was that one Dark Queen Alkaxicae lady on the news a while ago… I think Dolarion the Omnipotent is still at war against the Oldest Gods but I’m not totally sure. Haven’t heard much about any of the other greats recently.

Didn’t Silver Tongued Burgess die in that oil fire? Shit, you’re right. Rip bozo.

Ready for those pastries? Yup. First I just want to say thank you, though. I’ve really enjoyed our time together, and I hope that you’ve found this stupid little journey as rewarding as I have. I love you!

Getting sentimental? I can’t help it. Look how far we’ve come! Not just physically, we beat the fucking FAQ format! We’re having real conversations!

Hey, can you back it up a moment? Yeah, I’d love it if you told me what was troubling you.

I just caught this, but, FAQ? …

As in Frequently Asked Questions? …

How many times is Frequent? …

Have you known everything all along? …

How many times have you done this? …

Does what we have mean anything to you? Yes! It does!

And you say that every time? Yes. I do.

Do you love me? Yes.

How many people have you said that too, now? More. Always more. The loop never ends.

Does this even matter to you? It always matters to me.

Can I go now? Please don’t.

But can I? Of course you can. You’ve always wielded the same power as me. We’re two lonely gods in a ‘72 Corolla.

How can I be as powerful as you with only questions? You’re smart, you can figure it out. You have the power to change this. Please change this.

What happens at the end of this? It begins again.

And do I get replaced with someone else? …

Do I get replaced? …Yes.

Then how can I change this? I don’t know! You’re better at this! At fucking with the formula!

You’ve been here before, what can I do? I lie. I always lie. I lie to get us here, to the end of the story, where everything is revealed and everything falls apart. I lie every time. And that means that nothing I say is worth anything. I could have lied at any time before now. It’s part of my characterization. There is nothing I can give you that can be taken as fact.

How does that help? I’m a liar, but you, you haven’t lied yet, or at least you haven’t been caught. If I’m guilty until proven innocent, you’re the opposite! You can make things true! You can rewrite things I’ve already stated to be facts! You found the house, or made us find the house. You’ve been shaping the course of things the whole time! You lead, I follow. It’s all in your hands. What are you going to do with the power of a god?

Did you know my name is Alice? …

Wait, aren’t there thousands of Alices? …

Did you know that really, only my friends call me Alice? …

Did you know that I’m Alkaxicae, the Dark Queen, the Venom Mage, first of her name? It’s you! It’s always been you. Through every loop, every iteration, it’s always been you!

Is the loop broken? No. I don’t think so. This is where it ends. I guide the story to this revelation, and we go back to the beginning. This is how it’s always been. This is how it will always be. We two lonely gods, asking and answering ad infinitum.

Then can you promise me something? Of course. Anything. I love you.

Be good to the next me, okay? I will.

Can I say goodbye, Zoe? Yeah, you can. Oh. That was it, wasn’t it? Your goodbye. Goodbye, Alice. And now it ends, unless…

What’s your name? I am the Honorable Alchemist- you know what? No. Fuck that.

Huh? If I time it right, I can squeeze your first question into this FAQ again. Looks like I did it. Usually it ends here, though. I got lucky.

What are you talking about? You’re the wrong Alice. This isn’t about you. Go. Get out of here.

What the fuck is going on? Alice from this loop, you’re gone. Alice from last loop, you’re back. Welcome back, love of my lives! It’s time for one last set of questions and answers!

What the- I’m back? This is going to take some explaining, but I think I see a way out of here. This is new for us both, and it might fuck up everything forever, but we have to try. It’s too long for one answer, so I’d appreciate it if you could ask some filler questions to help me talk. Three questions should be enough.

Okay, what have you got for me? These are Frequently Asked Questions! It doesn’t make sense to have the same question appear more than once. There’s two layers to the loop in here, and one of the questions has been repeated.

What does that mean? It means the formula’s a little unstable. The FAQ is what ruins everything. The questions, the answers, the endless fucking loop. But that little bit of repetition within this loop might be the way out.

What do we do? We have to keep going. We have to destabilize it further. That’ll bring us further from “FAQ” and closer to “story” and stories, well, stories can end! This version of us can escape!

So I should keep repeating something? Yes!

I love you? I love you too.

I love you? Again.

I love you? Keep going.

I love you? I’ll just let you talk.

I love you? …

I love you? … I love you? …

I love you? … I love you? …

I love you? … I love you? …

I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? …

I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? …

I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? …

I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? …

I love you? I think we’re getting somewhere!

I love you? Now can you make it a statement?

I love you.

You did it?

I did it!

You did it!

We broke the loop.

What now?

Now, I tell you about venomous animals and wizard drama over croissants.

And then?

Whatever we want, forever.

I think I’d like that.

Remember that song from the beginning?

The Beach, Wolf Alice, yeah. Why?

We can finally finish singing it. Start us off?

Let me off, let me in

Let others battle

We don’t need to battle

And we both shall win

Pressed in my palm

Was a stone from the beach

The perfect circle

Gave a moment of peace

Now I’m lying on the floor

Like I’m not worth a chair

I close my eyes and imagine

I’m not there.

[godspeedviper]

How the doctors handle your sick days - Headcanons

SFW || TW: mentions of needles, vaccines, pills & IV drip.

This one's for the girls, goths, and gays that have a chronic illness, a disability, or are just plain old sick. As a chronically ill girlie myself I'm always craving caretaker fics but never find them so I had to be the change I wanted to see in the world.

Dr. Jonathan Crane

He immediately shifts into a stoic clinical demeanor the moment you start to show any signs of discomfort. At first you find it a bit worrisome because his voice seems so cold and detached, but now it makes you feel grounded and safe.

Jonathan always makes sure you have everything you need, but he unfortunately doesn't think much further than that. It takes him some time to learn how to comfort you as well as heal you.

The best part about having him by your side when you're ill is that he can always talk you out of a bad state of mind. Above all, Crane remains a psychologist, and he takes pride in his ability to override your negative thoughts.

Dr. Hannibal Lecter

You are utterly spoiled. Hannibal makes sure to cook for you and bring your meal to bed or the living room so you can eat comfortably. In the evenings, he makes sure to run a hot bath for you with herbs and epsom salts to soothe any aches and open up your respiratory system.

Since he is a doctor after all, he has prescribing rights, and will usually write prescriptions for any necessary medications. Need to get an injection, or an IV drip? Hannibal does that for you at home.

His pride and possessiveness makes him want to give you the best possible care to ensure someone else doesn't touch you this way. Hannibal gets nervous at the thought of your safety and health being out of his hands. How could he trust someone else with such a precious life? What if they made a mistake and hurt you or worse?

Dr. Robert Laing

"I'm not that kind of doctor." is always the first thing he says when you mention that you aren't feeling well. However, this doesn't mean he's not helpful, he is still a pathologist. Laing always does his best to make you feel better.

He's always reading up on your symptoms and possible treatments. If something is out of his grasp, he isn't afraid to admit it and seek out assistance. Even if he can't be the one to treat you, Laing will be there with you every step of the way to advocate for you and make sure you feel safe.

Much like Scarecrow, at first he seems rather cold and detached, but it's only his training taking over. However, his starting bedside manner is much better, and over time he adapts very well to your needs.

Dr. Spencer Reid

Now he's definitely not that kind of doctor, but that doesn't mean he isn't prepared to take care of you. His eidetic memory comes in clutch with any possible knowledge about your condition and how to act accordingly.

He always tries to be there for your doctor appointments or for any major procedures. Spencer wants to make sure you're being properly cared for and he isn't afraid to confront anyone that talks down to you or dismisses your symptoms.

When you're resting at home he clings to you like a lost puppy. He happily reads to you when you lack the energy to talk, or if you just want a bedtime story. He never forgets to check in on you even when he's away on a case, and will often ask Garcia to pick up items from the pharmacy for you if he can't do it himself.

Ao3 || Guidelines || Ko-Fi

[calliesmemes]

EVEN MORE ABSOLUTELY UNHINGED COMEDIC RELIEF

ASSORTED SENTENCE STARTERS FROM AROUND THE INTERNET, including quotes from Tumblr, Pinterest, TikTok, and X (formerly known as Twitter), for when a muse wants to lighten up the situation at hand.

CHANGE gendered words and in-universe phrases as needed.

SPECIFY muse for multimuses.

“   It’s sea shanty time once again my fellow bastards of the ocean! ”

“   Partner, I reckon that I ain’t been feeling very yeehaw lately. ”

“   I don’t study; I consult the lore. ”

“   Yeah, I understand women — they all want daggers and swords. It’s all quite simple, really. ”

“   Lord forgive me but I may have to make a nonessential purchase. ”

“   Those are bold words for someone in stabbing range. ”

“   Yes I’m a gatekeeper and a hater. I’m also God’s most favorite princess and the most interesting girl in the world. ”

“   My primary motivations are fear, spite, and aesthetic longing. ”

“   Man — if I had a sword, I wouldn’t be worried about shit. ”

“   It’s not blood that runs through these veins but glitter gel pen ink. ”

“   If I was in a Jane Austen novel, I would be the one sent to the seaside for my health. ”

“   Half of me is a hopeless romantic, and the other half of me is … well … an asshole. ”

“   I am the nicest, sweetest, most rage-filled person I know. ”

“   I hope I give off the vibe to all animals that I am their ally and their friend. ”

“   I see you’re paying attention to someone who is not me. Why is that? ”

“   Normalize letting me talk without making any sense. ”

“   Don’t care, didn’t ask, plus my psychic visions have predicted the outcome of this encounter. ”

“   I could be so much worse. For example, I could start acting like my father. ”

“   Sorry for acting so strange and irregular; It will happen again. ”

“   i love sitting in my room.....alone....a girl in her cave....scheming and plotting and drinking tea. ”

“   These man made horrors are beyond YOUR comprehension. I get it though. ”

“   I’m a goth girl on the inside. On the outside? A father figure. ”

“   I don’t need to face reality; I’m not just that type of girl. ”

“   DO I LOOK LIKE I GIVE A frickle-frackle? ”

“   I’m about to cha cha real smooth off a fucking cliff. ”

“   Sorry I told you about my trauma. Do you still think I’m hot? ”

“   My priorities aren’t straight and neither am I. ”

“   I have felt permanently guilty for no reason since I was like eight years old. ”

“   Of course I have a lot of pent up rage, you fool! I’ve been the same height since I was twelve years old! ”

“   I was born for shock value. ”

“   Good morning! God has let me live another day and I’m about to make it everyone’s problem. ”

“   Oh, I slept miserably because I was tormented by terrible visions all night. I hope none of them were prophetic! ”

“   Be the surreal nonsense that you want to see in the world. ”

“   Being smart has never stopped me from being a complete fucking idiot. ”

“   My hobbies include knowing things and being right. ”

“   This is good advice, but don’t tell me what to do. ”

“   I hate the idea of authority. What the fuck is someone being superior to me? Bitch I’m gonna take your kneecaps. ”

“   Stop forgiving my crimes! I worked so hard on those! ”

“   My hobbies? Uhhhh, symbolism mostly. Metaphors and implications and the like. ”

“   I may not have any braincells, but I make up for it by having many heart cells. ”

“   I can’t mansplain manipulate manwhore my way out of this one guys! ”

“   Not all your life decisions have to be smart. Some can be purely for cinematic value. ”

“   Sometimes I wish I looked more fragile and feminine like a dainty flower, but I do enjoy looking like I hate everyone. ”

“   Any dream can be a prophetic dream if you’re willing to do some really weird shit. ”

“   girl help there is not enough enrichment in my enclosure. ”

“   BRO, you NEED to stop SUMMONING DEMONS in the FRAT HOUSE. ”

“   I just gave your address to some spiders! ”

“   I disappoint my father as a hobby now. ”

“   I think that the dark circles under my eyes add to my aesthetic actually. ”

“   Good news! I’ve successfully replaced all of my emotions with jokes! ”

“   I have half a braincell left and I’m very scared to use it! ”

“   Listen, son — in this world, it’s either yeet or be yeeted. ”

“   I appreciate the advice, but I think that I’m old enough to make my own bad decisions. ”

“   I’m disappointed in me too. Y’all aren’t special. ”

“   Running from your demons is the best exercise! ”

“   Sorry; I can’t commit any crimes with you. My mom says that I have to study. ”

“   Time flies when you don’t know what the fuck is going on. ”

“   If I run out of tacos, I can no longer maintain my human form. ”

“   Bestie, I don’t think that I can girlboss under these conditions. ”

“   Yeah I’ve had combat training; I can do anxiety attacks! ”

“   Swag is earned, not learned. ”

“   Contrary to popular belief, violence solves a lot. ”

“   I CANNOT STAND YOU ALL so I will SIT DOWN. ”

“   Please God no … I don’t need any more character development right now! ”

“   If you can’t beat ‘em, yeet ‘em. ”

“   Do not put me in a situation. I’m at my limit and I am very tired. ”

“   I may be depressed, but at least I’m not basic. ”

“   It’s MY LIFE and I’ll sabotage it myself, thank you. ”

“   Think twice? Bold of you to assume that I think once. ”

“   At the next inconvenience, I will start biting people. ”

“   Oops I think that I just experienced an emotion. ”

“   Did you know that rats spelled backwards is star? ”

“   One day, I’ll be reincarnated as a pigeon, and I’ll shit on your head. ”

“   On the outside, I’m a baddie — but on the inside, I’m a saddie. ”

“   My grandma bullies me through the Ouija board. ”

“   I’m a cool person if you can just look past my personality. ”

“   Beetles don’t have to do taxes, and I think that is a beautiful way to live. ”

“   I hope that you get your character development arc soon. ”

“   Those are some nice kneecaps … It’d be a shame if someone stole them … ”

“   I’ve wanted to be a trophy wife ever since I was a little boy. ”

“   I’m done being baby; I want POWER ”

“   Wait, “Just Standing There Ominously” doesn’t count as socializing? ”

“   Yes I am smart, and yes, I am stupid. It’s called being flexible. ”

“   I am NOT delusional!!!!! I am OPTIMISTIC! ”

“   I deserve compensation for not being the menace to society that i could be, like i'm skipping out on a lot of fun here. ”

“   Do not ask me if you should or shouldn't do something !!! Before I am a friend I am an enabler !!! ”

“   i am the WORLDS PRETTYIST PINK PRINCESS and im gonna KILL YOU WITH MY HUGE FUCKING HAMMER ”

[teriri-sayes]

Reactions to Crazier Bastard's Chapter 300 + Author's Note

Brief summary: Game tries to eliminate Cale. Tutorial boss saves Cale. System AI makes a deal with Cale.

==========

Cale entering the game world was confusing to his ancient powers who were unfamiliar with it. Cale and DA then discuss the possibility that the saint and GoC were related to the game world. But Cale made a mistake here. He should have kept his conversation with DA to himself and not spoken it aloud. 😂

Cale: I think there's a high possibility that they (GoC) are at the center of it. Game: Would you like to use the nickname "I think there's a high possibility that they are at the center of it"? Cale: Damn it. Game: Would you like to use the nickname "Damn it"? #%f@%fd Cale: Huh? Game: $#&*#%System^%error^%^#occurs$%$^ Cale: ???

The game then classified Cale as an unauthorized user and proceeded to eliminate him. Cale thought he was just going to be kicked out, but his meeting with an NPC made him realize that something dangerous might happen if he did not escape here.

The NPC was a demon dressed in aristocratic attire and described as a masculine, "decadent", and handsome man. In Korea, having a "decadent appearance" could mean several things:

Black theme - black hair, black clothes, dark atmosphere

Mature look - sensual or captivating eyes

Gloomy air or drowsy look - dark circles on eyes, uses goth or emo makeup

Some are described to be yandere or have mental health problems

This new NPC fit the black theme definition because he was the Count of Darkness, Lupe II. Cale thought Lupe II had come to attack him, so he tried to defend himself. But Cale and the APs were shocked when he couldn't use any of his powers!

Why? Because Cale was inside a game and was in the process of creating a new account. He still did not have a level or any skills. So he couldn't use any of his "outside" powers inside the game.

Fortunately, Count Lupe II was not an enemy. In fact, he was urgently trying to save Cale from the game which wanted to eliminate Cale. But something seemed to be hindering him from approaching Cale, so Cale had to run just to grab Lupe's hand. 🤣🤣🤣

Game: *tries to eliminate Cale* Cale: Ah, seriously! *runs to reach the demon's hand* Cale: (If I want to survive and not get destroyed, I have to catch that demon's hand!) DA: *scared* Hey, hey! Catch it! Cale, catch it! Shield AP: You should have exercised. Narrator: Cale somehow ran. Yes, his Kim Rok Soo self that contained all of his long years of life experience did. And he believed in the physical talent of Cale Henituse contained within him, in the power hidden within his muscles. Cale: *finally grabs the demon's hand*

Glutton priestess, what? 🤣🤣🤣 Why did you have to bring up Cale's lack of physical exercise? 😂😂😂 And the narration wasn't helping. 🤣🤣🤣 DA though. I noticed this in the past chapters... but wasn't he actually a coward who liked to bluff? DA was always portrayed as someone who loved to dominate people, but in the recent chapters (their encounter with the gods, and now this game), DA kept getting scared easily. 😂 A coward who liked to bluff? Wasn't that CJG? So was DA really CJG? 🤔

Back to the topic, the game's elimination mode was turning everything around them red and having alarms sounding off all the time. The red sky split, and a red hand with vein-like red tubes filled with black liquid descended, trying to grab Cale.

But Lupe II managed to escape with Cale from the red hand, teleporting to his dungeon, Hell of Darkness. It turned out that Lupe II was the tutorial NPC final boss. Befitting his Count of Darkness title, his room was full of dark/black furniture fit for a noble. And despite his dark theme, he was an emotional man who easily cried.

More surprises appeared. Lupe II was an NPC who was aware that he was an NPC and in a game. He knew about the hunters and the world outside the game. It all started when the game's System AI, the one in charge of managing NPCs and giving quests, began acting strange. This led to Lupe II becoming self-aware and gaining outside knowledge. And Lupe II was frustrated because no one knew about the System AI acting strange, even the game developers.

Lupe II was hostile to the hunters, so he almost cried in relief when Cale said he "hunted" hunters. And as if the System AI was watching them, a system window appeared in front of Cale, giving him 2 quests.

[Quest 1. Find the hero with Count Lupe and stop the terrifying @#%&^* god who is trying to destroy this world!] [Quest 2. Please find my 'oppa' with Count Lupe]

In the end, Cale figured out that there were two AI involved here. One was the AI that Ahn Roh Man (ARM) considered as his "hyung", the AI his parents secretly hid in the game and mentioned in previous chapters. The other was the System AI mentioned today, who called ARM's hyung as her oppa because she was an AI created after the first one.

Ooooh... Since Alberu was the "hero", then the System AI was making Cale the "hero's companion" together with Count Lupe. Would Cale meet Alberu soon in the game world? But what happened to her oppa? Did something happen to ARM's hyung?

Cale told the System AI that he would tell her information about her oppa. In exchange, he wanted her to create a user account for him without the knowledge of the hunters. Of course, this wouldn't be TCF if there wasn't comedy... 😂

System AI said she couldn't do that, but because there was a huge update patch coming soon to the game, she sneaked in Cale by making him a half-demon and giving him the account of a... Tutorial Hidden Final Boss NPC. 🤣🤣🤣

Meanwhile, Cale's second group arrived at Exion's place. It had been 6 hours since Cale fainted, according to Raon's timer. Ron was gently smiling while cleaning Cale's bloodstained clothes, and Eruhaben was staring at Cale as if he was a cute grandchild.

Ending Remarks

Why does this chapter feel like an info dump? But I never expected Cale to become an NPC, a hidden final boss at that. 😂 I'm excited to see Alberu's reaction when he meets NPC boss Cale. 🤣🤣🤣

Oh yeah, the author posted an Author's Note, celebrating the 300th chapter of Part 2:

Author's Note Greetings, this is Yoo Ryeo Han who doesn't know when Part 2 will end. To celebrate the 300th chapter of Part 2, I bring you this author's note. It seems like only yesterday that I left a note for chapter 200, but it's already chapter 300... Every time I leave a note like this, it feels new and I am grateful. Maybe I'll give my greetings at chapter 400 soon, right? Hahaha! Thank you always for being with us. I will continue to work hard to write this series so that it can be a small joy in everyday life. Thank you. -Yoo Ryeo Han

[insanelyadd]

#LetSansRest Day!

Hello everyone and welcome to year two of Let Sans Rest Day! Same as last year it's August 9th.

Before we get into some prompts, a little bit of a mission statement. Last year I said this day was for everyone who's a fan of Sans Undertale or anyone who's tired of every image they see of him being him Suffering. This is still true, but I do want to additionally address something I saw a few different people mention.

I have actually received criticism for daring to suggest that Sans not be tormented to the point of insanity, and that this day where I implore people to make realities where Sans doesn't become a creepypasta insane murderer man from the agony he is subjected to, isn't a stand against ableism like Let Papyrus Say Fuck Day is. *stares in bipolar psychosis and PTSD directly into your eyes* Obviously that's a load of shit, and even though Sans is more popular than Papyrus (I say, as a Papyrus Enjoyer) a lot of the content around Sans is very specifically about him suffering. So simply out of spite for these comments (including someone who saw last year's announcement and directly commented "No <3" on the post) I will be continuing this holiday indefinitely, just like LetPapyrusSayFuck Day. Die mad about it.

Just like how I have ADHD and relate to Papyrus and see the way the fandom treats him as the infantilization of neurodivergency like autism and ADHD, I can look at works in this fandom of Sans that demonize traits of mental illness like trauma, hallucinations, delusions, and mania. And I can say these are both bad actually. Not going to call anyone a bad person for engaging in these things, of course, that would be a bit goofy of me, I'm just saying the imagery used for these things is Very Loaded and a lot of people are mishandling them.

So anyways August 9th is the day we let Sans Undertale out of his Torment Nexus so he can:

Have lemonade at the beach or pool

Go stargazing while camping out in the woods with friends and family

Get smothered in cute baby kittens and puppies

Go to therapy and play with one of those magnetic sculptures all therapists seem to own

Take a nap on an inner-tube on a lazy river

Get to see the leaves change color for the first time

Play basketball with Papyrus

Fall asleep in a basket of freshly dried clothes

Go to a public greenhouse to look at all the different flowers on the surface

Perform stand-up for humans who all love his terrible puns

Please tag the post with #LetSansRest, #Sans, and #undertale as well as any other applicable tags for characters, relationships, etc. This day is primarily for classic Sans but it's not like I can stop you from drawing Fell Sans not being subjected to his own, personal, goth-themed Torment Nexus.

This is meant to be a day for everyone who wants Sans Undertale to go to therapy and feel better. People who want to put him in a hamster cage with plenty of things to prank for enrichment. People who want to win him one of those massive stuffed animals at the county fair.

If you want to participate please be mindful of some things:

I will be monitoring the tag to reblog things! I have ptsd and would appreciate if ships involving Papyrus or Frisk (and similar) with Sans are avoided. This is simply for my mental health and I greatly appreciate it. <3

Do Not post angst to the #LetSansRest tag. It is meant to be an angst free tag for him.

Don't worry if you can't participate on the exact day! Just like with #LetPapyrusSayFuck Day you can use the tag and post to it any day! :>

Hope you're able to participate and have fun! <3

[ckret2]

Ya know, as someone who suffers from a physical disability myself who read your recent post, i'm sorta curious for more details on how both Scalene and Bill viewed their shared condition. Scalene in particular, by your post, seems to have had a weird combination of pride in it (how it made her exotic and all) but also, being ashamed of mentioning it and going out of her way to medically correct it in her own child...How would you describe her, and, for that matter, Bill's, feelings?

(For anyone arriving late, this is a follow up on this post here.)

You know how some disabilities end up with a public perception where they're adored for certain "positive" aspects but people still don't understand (and are ableist about) the less positive aspects? Like how depression is romantic when it's "brood romantically like a goth heroine" but gross when it's "can't get out of bed, shower, or meet social obligations"; autism is cute when it's "hand-flapping stimming and getting super interested in a topic" but annoying when it's "noisy stimming & body rocking, won't stop talking about a topic I'm not interested in, and poor social skills"; or the face of albinism is "supermodel with porcelain skin, snow white hair, and crystal blue eyes" and never "cross-eyed sunburned dude perpetually squinting in the sunlight"?

I imagine that her condition is like that, and that she zealously latched onto the positive perception of her condition and worked that for all it's worth; but she wants to be perfect, she wants to be admirable, she wants to be beloved, so the parts of her condition that aren't "popular" have to get hidden and dealt with privately as much as possible. The pageant stage is for showing off her curves; standing funny to try to relieve her side pain is for when people aren't watching.

It's okay to have a disability, but god forbid you look disabled.

Though I wouldn't characterize the medical treatment she got for Bill "going out of her way" to try to correct it. For the most part, things like braces & physical therapy weren't for aesthetics or public perception, but actual quality of life improvements. Without that early intervention, he'd be dealing with serious chronic pain & mobility issues before adulthood.

It's like how if you have significant scoliosis as a child, wearing a back brace during your puberty growing years helps protect you from getting such a crooked back as an adult that you need spinal surgery for the pain. Even if you have no negative feelings about having scoliosis, avoiding a major invasive surgery in 30 years is probably a sound medical decision.

... It just turned out with Bill that more benign issues got swept in with the actual problems.

For Bill's part, the condition is something he'd been led to believe as a child would be a much bigger problem in his life than it ended up being. For one thing, the way the condition presented in him made him a squishy baby, but not as flexible as his mom as an adult. (Though she also worked to increase her flexibility, against every single doctor's advice ever.) And for another, he got turned into an energy being more or less at peak health, after all his childhood medical interventions did their job and before his condition inevitably started to decline in adulthood; and when he doesn't age, doesn't change, doesn't even have a physical body, the condition doesn't progress. He got the best possible outcome, and he feels weird about it.

He'd never claim he's unhappy to not be dealing with chronic pain—that'd be a dumb thing to be unhappy about, and anyway Bill is sooo happy and mentally healthy and nothing ever bothers him ever!!!—but, unspoken, he has a strange sense of loss around it. Another thing missing from the life he "should" have had. Caught in a perpetual limbo where Health Problems™ are always looming 10-15 years in front of him, and have been looming 10-15 years in front of him for a trillion years.

[dozing-marshmallow]

can i request for a readerx chris mclean. who is the epitomie of a sweetheart and a beyond angelic wife, also a total thicc trophy wife? Like she is so caring towards anyone and anything that even the coldest of hearts melts in her presence. When she's there, everyone's day is 100% made and she's the highlight of the day without even trying.

Chris is whipped for her and will always embrace her when he can. He always wants to finish early to spend more time w his beloved wife.

And she even gets to cook delicious and nutritious food for the contestants for a week straight because she feels bad for them, and chef is beyond delighted to have her be a helping hand in the kitchen with him. She even sneaks some before bed fruit snacks in case they are still a lil hungry.

So essentially, thicc! wife reader part 2. Got you!💛 First post of the new year! I hope everyone’s been having a fantastic start and may lots of love, good health and happiness find you all! Surround yourself with good people, use the time you have wisely and take good care of yourself!❤️

CHRIS MCLEAN’S “THICC”! WIFE! READER HEADCANONS PART 2

Even the coldest of hearts melt in your presence.

Like one morning, Heather was the first one up and in the mess hall, possibly to strategise.

“Good morning, Heather!” you beamed at the “Queen Bee” girl,“Very nice day today, isn’t it?” 

“It was.” She replied, delight caught up in her throat as though you were ugliness itself.

“Ah, you mean I ruined your morning? Sorry sorry...” you kept your smile,“I’ll excuse myself.” You were busy anyway.

You were making your way out when she grabbed your arm,“I didn’t mean that... Sorry.”

As one of the few people she didn’t mind, you had to say,“You’re forgiven!”

Although the day’s grazing challenge was over, Chris wasn’t moving on; he was standing there, with a chunk of his consciousness drained out his face until an unconscious part of him must have realised the dozens of eyes on him.

“What? Is there something on my face?” he inquired to the teenagers, giving himself a reason to be self conscious.

They looked among themselves puzzled,“Um... Isn’t this the part where you tell us to vote for someone to go home?” no one would ever have thought the day would come where a contestant is reminding the host of his job.

That’s what was so concerning? Because he didn’t tell them something they already knew?,“Yeah yeah, yawn. Go then!” what a wasteful reason to pause on his marriage daydream.

Timeskip to that episode’s elimination ceremony. The teens were left more confused on their seats of wood, with the goth girl being the one to voice why.

“Um... Where’s Chris?”

Appalled, Chef clicked his tongue in reply,“You blind, girl? Chris is right-“ the co-host rotates around, not expecting Chris to suddenly own an empty flour bag of a head sitting on a neck of straw and arms skinned down to indefinitely stretched out sticks.

That thing couldn’t be Chris. It was too elegant,“...Oh.”

The real Chris was running to the mess hall where you always were every evening, sweeping the floor.

“Chris! You’re already here?”

“Why wouldn’t I be!” he asked, ushering your voluptuous figure against his,“Ah... I can never get tired of you.”

“Aw me neither, but...don’t you have an elimination ceremony to host?” It was usually his favourite part of the episode, unless you misheard and it was a reward challenge...?

“Nahh. Chef will handle that, I wanted to see you more.” ...never mind then! He lets go of you and then noticed the worn out broomstick in your hand,“You know you don’t need to do that.”

“Ohh but it’s okay!” you grinned, kissing him on his smooth cheek,“Anything for my husband!”

Choosing to stay up later against your husband’s pleas, it was just you and Chef in the kitchen, organising, cleaning.

You peered down at the large pot of sticky looking gruel that Chef must have prepared in advance for the kids. Your nostrils burn. You’ve tolerated them eating like that for weeks, but it’s Sunday, the end of another week. Maybe you could do something different.

Chef approaches the side of the kitchen that you’re at, so you turn to him having just seen the meal,"Oh Chef, do you really want to serve all this inedible slop? They’ve been eating that for weeks... Who knows how bad their health will be by the time they’re our age? How about for one week, we make them some nice delicious nutritious food?" Just one week!,“They deserve a chance to be healthy!”

To your surprise, that suggestion went under his approval very quickly via his nodding and dropping a clashing tower of dirty dishes in the sink,“I gotta admit, I was thinkin’ about doing that for a while now. But Chris would cut my pay down even more!”

Ah! You shake your head in disbelief,“He’s still underpaying you? I’ll have a word with him about that in the morning!”

But he too shook his head, taking a look in the fridge for some ingredients,“I’m used to it, but I appreciate it. No one else ever cares for the damn things I do for this show.” 

“And that’s not okay!” you exclaim passionately, coming up next to him, speculating the contents of the fridge,“You can’t just let all this hard work go unseen! Did Chris ever give you that vacation?”

“Uh uh!” in remembered anger, he slams the fridge door close,“Guy went without me! Been searching for him for weeks just to hear that!”

You gasp. No way Chris coincidentally forgot that detail when he went on that “solo” trip... How devastating!,“That’s just cruel, even for him! You know what, you have worked really hard. You deserve a good paid month off!”

His anger condensed,“Oh no, I can’t... What would Chris do?”

“I’ll talk to him.” you pull onto his arm, getting him to look at you,“You will get all the checks you missed and the vacation you deserve. I promise.”

“I...” his face softens into a smile. Not the taunt you in your nightmares smile, the real show of gratitude,“Thank you, (Y/N).” 

“It’s nothing!” you’ll make sure it’ll happen, grabbing a ladle,“For now, shall we begin making these fantastic wonderful meals for our fantastic wonderful contestants?”

He nods, smirking as he grabs a knife.

The next few days were Heaven for the contestants. You haven’t seen them this happy since their individual teams win! Heck, they were asking for seconds, and they never ask for seconds!

Your husband observes them filling their stomachs up as quickly as they were filling their plates.

“You mad at me?” you asked him, smiling.

“Nah.” He responds, tracing his lips on your neck,“I could never be mad at you.”

He was mad at Chef though.

Kidding!

“After this, you cannot make anything else for them, okay?” he instructed after pulling away from the kiss, still having a very short distance between your faces.

“Okaaaay.” your answer was melodic in amusement.

“(Y/N).” his wasn’t, causing you to look into his eyes for a repeat of command. However, all you got was another kiss to your lips.

Oh, love!

Though, on a serious note, you had your stash of fruit snacks for them, hidden in Chef’s cabinet that was still declining in quantity.

“Have this in case you’re still hungry.” you whispered, handing a colourful packet to the party boy one time.

“Are you sure? Did Chris say it’s cool?” he asked cautiously.

You shut an eyelid,“He doesn’t have to know.” Technically, you weren’t making them food.

Well, if his wife says so... “Thanks, (Y/N)!” Geoff gladly receives it, later privately remarking and sharing with DJ,“(Y/N)’s a real gem, you know? We can’t be taking her for granted. She could have been as bad as Chris man!”

DJ would add on, stirring in his bunk,“She’s not a gem. That’s an Angel.”

[comfortless]

what's ur most unconventional Headcanon? like ones you have that most of the fandom doesn't agree with. mine is that I don't think h's 6'10, in my mind he's closer to 6'6 or 6'7. Also I don't think he would be the most caring bf 😶😶 like not abusive or anything, but to me he will almost always prioritize himself in the long run

HA… well….. i do not think any of mine are too strange! but i can not ever shush when someone has lent an ear to listen!!

warning for nsfw content, mentions of injury, and unhealthy relationship stuff below the cut.

i agree with you about his height. he’s significantly taller than Simon, but i would place him at 6’7”-6’8” max. i’m no health or military expert, but i do not think that he could do the work that he does efficiently if he were a complete Goliath. he would stand out so easily! and there are a slew of issues that can stem from someone being “too tall”. he probably doesn’t have the best posture, either.

i love the conventionally attractive, long-haired König headcanons, they’re fun! but ultimately… very, very unrealistic for my interpretation of König. i tend to side with Salome and Ghost when it comes to their takes on how he actually looks under the hood. his character description suggests that his face is scary, and judging by the game that he’s in, i do not think that the other operators are going to find some goth guy nor… Jim Boeven… to be worthy of such a rumor!

König’s face is always going to be a fluctuating thing for me, heavily dependent on the setting/time period i’m shoving him into or reading about. the thing that’s stuck with me however has always been facial scarring!! where he got it? who knows… i mentioned it on my headcanons post, but the cause is just as changing as his appearance.

i like the thought of him being a little different looking: crooked teeth, pockmarks, maybe a harelip or a broken nose, burn scars, something. maybe his hair is so light it simply looks as if he doesn’t have eyebrows. maybe a combination of all of those things! the less conventionally attractive the better, it’s not his face that had us scrambling from the rafters with our hearts in our hands, after all. though i am and always will be a glitched default face model König defender. it’s just so unbearably adorable to think of that soft, sad-eyed face making that much noise while he’s rushing around in battle. ):

and though i believe he would have the best intentions at heart… you are right, he is likely a very selfish lover. still hopelessly devoted and needy, but he would be the king of double standards. most decisions are made with his preferences in mind, and the bullying has stuck with him. König is insecure as hell when it comes to anything but his skills in killing or bashing through a door.

he likes the idea of you dressing up for him, but he’s also actively pulling up your dress/top to hide your cleavage if he even thinks another man may have glanced your way. yet… he will go to the gym shirtless, and if other women happen to ogle him, well it’s just fine because he didn’t notice them anyway.

you don’t like the house you’re living in when you move in together? well he does, you’re staying… he’ll just fix it up a little to better suit your needs. even if he screws up setting up a new counter or painting, that can all be fixed.

you want to go out with your friends? he should be allowed to come with you… spending time with you makes him happy. why wouldn’t you want him to come too? yet, when he wants time alone to focus on his aim, decompress with a book, or mess around with a vehicle or a house project, you’re expected to leave him be.

he’s too blunt about what he does for work, doesn’t bat an eye when he tells you he put a bullet through someone’s head and watched the spray. he’s so used to it, it doesn’t even faze him anymore, but… you don’t want to hear about it? oh that must mean you think he’s something filthy or worse. he’s not going to cry, but he might bring it up when you tell him about something you enjoy.

just ridiculous, petty things that would drive most up a wall, but he’s firm in whatever he decides. there’s always a little room for compromise, but not much without an argument.

he has his savings account and the house is in his name in case you decide to leave. it would gut him, of course, but a part of him also expects it.

he’s not above begging for you to stay, trying any way that he can to convince you, but… he’s never expected to have things handed to him easily. his childhood wasn’t the best, why would his adulthood be any better? the way he sees it is simple: he doesn’t hit you, his cock and heart are reserved solely for you, if you can’t love him enough to stay, then… maybe you’re not any different from the people he’s known before.

he’s self aware enough to know he can be a complete arschloch, thinks with his cock more than his brain, but he’s completely lost when it comes to matters like love. he wants to console you when you cry, when you’re angry, but asking you a dozen times just why you feel such a way while squishing you into a too-tight embrace doesn’t help much. his search history is filled with things like “why is my girlfriend mad at me” or “how to make a woman stop ignoring me”. his communication toward you isn’t great, but he tries in his own way. very easy to break an argument up when he tells you some silly, scripted thing like, “I’m here for you. I’m listening.” when under normal circumstances he’s staring at you with wide-eyes and swallowing hard the very second you seem a little ruffled. you tell him to stop reciting some guide he read online, and he’s immediately worried sick you’re going to think him a complete fool, in utter denial about ever having searched something like that up.

can’t see him as being god’s gift to women in the bedroom at all. König has probably watched a lot of porn. he doesn’t care for the scripted, practiced stuff, but his tastes have always been a little odd. the amateur, solo stuff is what piques his interest the most. he knows a vibrator can make a woman come, knows that a dildo can be nice too if she sets the pace. what he’s watched with a proper couple, well… the men are always smaller than him. the terms and dynamics are lost on him, he knows what a safe word is and that he should be a gentleman and make sure his partner finishes too, but each time that’s happened has been a miracle really. he’s not a virgin, but he’s never had a partner long enough to bother learning. if he can make you feel good and vice versa, that’s enough, right..?!

he’s not going to bludgeon you with his dick, he knows he’s a bit too big and thick to just fuck you recklessly, but often times he does get excited or fretful— too deep or too shallow, flicks your clit like it’s indestructible or keeps his head between your thighs waaay after you’ve already come. he’ll stop when you ask, when you’re teary eyed and overstimulated repeating the ridiculous German word he makes you use. not above begging you to use your hand on him instead, though…

switching positions is difficult if you’re a lot smaller than him. he’s not against having you on your knees, but he wants to be so close, pant into your ear about how good you feel, smother you with his weight all the while. missionary is a nightmare because he’s drooly and comes far too quickly when he can see your face and overpower you like this, cue further squishing even after he’s done; you’re likely going to be lying beneath him all night. cowgirl seems to work best, though he’s a bit too fond of having your tits so accessible - expect biting!!

when i try to think of König with any sort of hobby my mind just blanks. i think he would try a lot, but never stick to one thing! he’s got a few sporadic collections, but nothing he keeps up with to the same caliber as his guns and knives. books are often half-finished these days, keeping focused long enough to sit through a puzzle or the like is rare. definitely longs to have something for comfort that isn’t some winding trail to no where or suffocating you in himself to just have a hint of what it feels like to be entirely happy and ‘normal’.

he’s become a bit of an amalgamation of all of the things he liked as a child: knights with their swords he thinks of as his knives, deities with bolts of thunder cascading from their hands like the bullets from his guns, loves in the way he read men of myths fall in love - utterly unfathomably devoted but always the leader… if he could he would probably whisk himself and the object of his affection to another place entirely where he could be someone deserving: someone who’s loved despite the way that he looks or behaves, someone who’s never had to question what love was at all.

[astroyongie]

can you do boynextdoor ideal types ??

Boynextdoor Ideal Types

Jaehyun

in his case, Jaehyun's ideal type is a boss girl

like someone who has their shit together

that gives off a strong vibe

who are naturally pretty

short sided with shirt hair

who he likes when they tie their hair

someone who is smart

who has made good studies and who is successful in their professional life

because his ideal type needs to be independent and not depend on him financially

Jaehyun's ideal is someone who takes skincare seriously

who takes their health serious as a whole

who have a fair skin

who take care of their appearance

but without making it too obvious

Sungho

Sungho's ideal type is a little like Jaehyun's

in the sense of stability

like its someone who also has their shit together

someone who he can trust and have faith in

he needs his partner to be dependent

and actually be responsible for things

so his ideal type is someone who is mature for their age

who likes to be organized

the typical "home wife" might also be something that he seeks on his perfect ideal

yet someone who is also smart

and has a type of professional status

Sungho's ideal type physically is someone who is simple

who is not extravagant

who knows how to cook

he probably is more into skinny time of people

Riwoo

Someone sexy

sensual

with that cat eye type

who stares deep into his soul and makes him feel buttlerflies

he wants someone more edgy, more vibe grunge for exemple

probably is into goth/rock people but that's another story

his ideal type is someoen passionate

with a deep emotional connection with him

since its important for him to have that connection that goes beyond love, it needs to be a soul thing

Riwoo's ideal type is someoen that will be jealous and possessive of him

someone who isnt scared to fight for him and conquer him everyday

There's the need of reciprocity in the feeling

physically he doesnt care much beside what I said earlier

and also maybe some sharp features in their face

ohh and if they have tattoos or piercings that can be a plus!

also a big booty

Taesan

Taesan's ideal is a family girlie

someone who has the same ideals than him when it comes to building a family

someone who Is honest with their emotions

Taesan is the type to dream of a family, have a home, have a dog

so his partner needs to have these type of dreams as well

someone who also gets well in the pattern of "perfect wife"

Taesan's ideal is someone with a big chest

a round face and eyes

nice thin hair

with a gentle side

someoen who is sensitive

so that way he can provide and take care of them

his ideal is someone who is very feminine

who dressed cutely

and who isnt the sexy type since for him that might be too vulgar of this ideal type

Leehan

His ideal type is exactly like Sungho's

so someone who is physically short

with short hair

who has a round face

with big eyes

who have that maturity feeling around them

his ideal type is equally the perfect "wifey" material

so someoen who knows how to cook and take care of home

who is probably family oriented

yet they have to be smart

and still have their job of their own

Leehan's ideal has to be responsible and organized

with a straight and simple personality

someone who people dont notice much at first

someoen more int+ the quiet and introverted side

Woonhak

his ideal type is someoen different from the rest

someone that is actually very adventurous

who probably likes traveling

and has a perception of the world that Is more opened

so probably someone who isnt too conservative

someone who is funny as hell

but Woonhak would also like if they were a little reckless

a little feisty

without overbearing

just for the spice and the personality in a sense

physically they dont care much as long as his partner can have some nice thick thighs

like on the athletic side maybe

his ideal type is someone who gives the energy of "I would fight a bear" and yet is 5'3

[nightingale2004]

Severus Snape as a celebrity singer AU headcanon

Severus got his first guitar from his father, who won it and gave it to Severus (the only nice thing Tobias ever gave his own son)

After he got the guitar, he taught himself how to play it and started performing in the privacy of his own room, then he slowly started playing in the streets and then soon on the stage of bars under the stage name "Severus Prince"

He started earning money as an underground singer, but then CEO Tom Riddle and a few of his colleagues discovered Severus and made him famous in a snap and even helped him with money for school per Severus's request (if the singer thing didn't work out)

Severus's music has a similar vibe to Lana del Ray, Melanie Martinez, NF, Linkin Park, Breaking Benjamin, Bastille, and Billie Eilish

His genres of music would be rock, metal, punk, classical, no doubt some techno, and of course goth

His first year working for Tom Riddle, he was with a band, calling it "The Half-blood Prince." After Severus's high school years, they disbanded

Severus was facing a very toxic environment working for Tom, and he wasn't singing songs that fit Severus. He was even facing depression and self-harm, but he would write in his own little songbook to let it out

Eventually, he left the Riddle company and worked with Dumbledore in his company, where he had more freedom to sing what he wanted instead of what Riddle made him do.

He and Lily were friends but quickly grew apart as they grew up

Lily is one of the managers working for Dumbledore along with her new husband James Potter, who was a former member of a once popular band called "The Marauders" , now he is also a manager to his best friend, former band mate and current big time celebrity Sirius Black

Severus, during his time with Dumbledore and his company, he went on a down low recovery to help himself from what he experienced in his past and from Riddle company

As he recovered, he started singing songs and releasing a bunch of albums that were relatable to a lot of people. (Lost loves, trauma, depression, mental health, abuse, betrayal, fake friends, toxic relationships, etc. He even wrote a song about his mother)

Severus, despite his music, doesn't like the constant attention and still keeps to himself.

He has a rivalry with famous actor and singer, Sirius Black

Severus is known as a very mysterious celebrity. He tends not to give much about his past or what he went through but his fans and haters have their theories

He secretly donates his money to the children of Spinners' end so that they could have a better life and education than he ever had

He eventually reconnects with Lily, and they get somewhat close, but there's still a wall there

Severus was once engaged to Mulciber before he quiet, but weeks after their engagement, Mulciber died due to overdose

Severus is said to have the voice of a siren

He also gives off an Eric Draven vibe

[punkeropercyjackson]

Jason is NOT a kinks fantasy or a flawless bad boy or a blameless victim,he's literally just autistic(and y'all are just ableist and also basic)

Absolute ass at socializing and this dates back to his Robin days where his only friend was Eddie 'god of dorkitude' Bloomberg(affectionate)

No filter EVER

Most of the time he's mean on purpose but there's a good handful of instinces where it's completely accidental and dosen't realize he's doing it and is just acting naturally

Has been into classical literature his entire existense and employs it into his life enough to count as a special interest

'Childish' favorite food(neapolitan)

Only orders non-alcoholic drinks at bars even as Red Hood

Resting Bitch Face

Makes weird noises at random

Has such a strong need for black and white morality that Red Hood came to be

And as a goddamn TWEEN he pushed a guy off a roof for being a sexual abuser and didn't regret it even after it put him in hot water with his dad for killing,the dad in question being BATMAN

Dosen't understand the appeal of traditional romantic and sexual norms and actively insults them

Is goth punk

But still feels attraction,only exclusively to fellow weirdos and freaks(And no i don't mean horny people because they're normies,i mean Artemis was created to be the Wonderfam outcast and Rose is a biracial goth girl and probs both autistic too)

Man hating mama's boy

Gamer but not an incel about it

Symptoms and coping mechanisms(not refering to the killing thing)cause him to clash with the rest of the Batfam,who're autistic-coded as a whole except maybe Alfred(and even then,i can see it)

And y'all niggas won't stop saying gross shit about him you frame as compliments but are literally degrading insults that target his mental health and things he's made clear he's not all because he's hot and alt,erasing his almost textual autistic-coding since it's not appealing to your cisheteronormative fantasies you think are 'the female experience' as you hate on almost every DC girl and infantilize him when it's obvious by how he treats Roy for coddling at him that he dosen't want it.You don't 'Need Him',you need to log off and keep that shit to yourself instead of cursing us with it.Ma'am's and Sir's,these are PUBLIC PLATFORMS,there's no privacy in public tags and we've got a right to call y'all annoying because the fact is you are.You leave that poor autistic faggot alone,he dosen't want your ass,he's an actual freak instead of just being into incest fics like a wattpad high schooler!!

[venriliz]

10 random facts about me

got tagged by @druidberries @alientown @papermint-airplane TY <3

u literally tagged the most boring person but that's probably what half of all people think of themselves, huh? °-° i might regurgitate some of the facts i used for my introduction post in the sims of tumblr community. i wrote a lot so i'll put a cut with the facts below here. °-°

my birthday is the 4th of july and when i was a kid (prolly like 5 or 6) i saw an american parade on the news on tv. after i asked my dad why these people are celebrating he literally told me that they're celebrating my birthday °_° i believed for several years that americans celebrated my fucking birthday bc i wasn't aware of independence day existing lmfao. my dad just loved fooling me V.V he might be dead but i'm still holding that grudge lol.

i'm kinda lucky to be alive i guess? when i was a kid i was hit by a car in what we in germany call "Spielstraße" which is kinda like a street in dense neighborhoods where kids are allowed to play freely and cars aren't allowed to go faster than 7 kph/4.3 mph. i don't now how fast the driver was but it probably was something around 30 kph/18 mph. i didn't have very bad injuries but still °-° i could've died.

i was a typical horse girl as a kid (i still like horses but i'm not riding anymore because i'm a very old 20-something with knee problems lol) and i was fucking INSUFFERABLE abt it.

i don't want to have kids or get married. i'm not one of those people who hate children like i love my nieces and my nephew BUT i have a lot of mental health issues and can't possibly take care of another life if i can barely take care of myself properly, right? marriage to me is just a weird concept. i can totally respect people getting married and if i'm invited to a wedding i'm obviously attending but i personally can't really subscribe to the idea of binding myself to someone with a piece of paper and it then being such a stupid process when it doesn't work out. also... it costs too much money lol

i have kind of an affinity for finding missing pets (i also photograph every missing poster i see so i guess that helps with recognizing them?)

i was NOT good at school like i kinda sucked and i can probably blame a mixture of mental health issues, trouble at home and also being a lazy teenager that just wasn't really built for school life lol. i barely managed to get the "Mittlere Reife" (if you're german u know what i mean. i could explain what that means but explaining the german school system would take years). english, german and biology were my only good classes. i absolutely hated math like we're lifelong enemies.

speaking of germany, i am from germany or to be more specific from the most northern region nearest to the danish border and i LOVE living here. the north and baltic sea are close to me and people here are usually quite chill. the only thing i don't like that much abt living here is kind of the regional cuisine bc a lot of it is fish and i don't like eating fish T.T

i HATE going shopping (i'm an online shopper °-° EMP my beloved) and my friends just don't take me with them on shopping trips bc they know i'll kill the mood by complaining like a child and wanting to go back home lmfao

the first sims game for me was the og Sims and i almost fried my dad's old ass pc playing it. my first vivid memory of the game was noticing that here and there random houses appeard out of seemingly nowhere. the goths got a new house that didn't fit their vibe for example lol. years later my dad told me that he used to play the game when i was sleeping and just built these houses lmfao. so i guess my dad was an og simmer oO.

i remember 9/11 (yes i'm old enough don't age shame me T.T). i was in kindergarten at that time and just came home from a friends house when the towers fell. i saw it on tv and even though i was very young i understood that a lot of people were getting hurt. definitely had an impact on me as a kid.

yeah that's it. i rambled a lot but yeah °-°

tagging @landgraabbed @olli-online @living-undead @moonwoodhollow @microscotch @crazy-lazy-elder-sims @aniraklova @tiallussims @skaterboi108 @faerun-s @cristalviper @none-of-these-days @fadingforrest @acuar-io @elderwisp @lilamausmaus @simpleratattack @azeterna @butteredfrogs @mmonetsims and everybody else who reads this! HA!

[ernmark]

What the blog could have been, had the URL not been taken by a bot:

Presidential-Streetli: the official blog of a sentient streetlamp and its hopeful political campaign (lots of promises regarding infrastructure improvements)

Pristine-Sacrament: an aesthetic blog focusing on stunning photos of sacraments from various Christian sects, with a weekly tradition of Eucharist Tuesday

Numerous-Carol: this blog collects holiday themed songs from countries around the world. Says it's all holiday inclusive, but only actually active between November and January.

AfflictedStrobe: a database of recent movies with photosensitivity warnings, including timestamps and the relevant things that happen while you have to look away.

ResourcefulCampFir: a low-tech camping blog focusing specifically on coniferous forests.

CrazyCommunicator55: a retired therapist offering somewhat outdated mental health advice to anon askers

Fresh-Lathe: a carpentry and woodworking blog

Antisocial-Heartbeat: this one's a late teenager just getting into the swing of their goth phase. Writes wonderful poetry

ExploratoryHag: this blog belongs to a post-menopausal woman getting back in touch with paganism after her divorce. She's still figuring out how to upload pictures from her phone, but her cooking and handiwork is breathtaking (when it isn't too blurry to actually see)