#is it post timeskip angst? yes | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

amjustagirl · 1 month

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title: to rebuild a home pairing: kuroo x f! reader genre: angst / fluff, post timeskip! wc: 6.8k m.list

a/n: companion piece to the original love knows not its depth, from kuroo's perspective.

Kuroo Tetsuro is doing alright.

He’s deftly juggling the roles life has handed him. His tenth wedding anniversary is coming up. He’s gotten a nice pair of earrings and a reservation at Tokyo’s hottest omakase for you to celebrate. The girls are doing nicely at school - Aiko’s grades are excellent, and Fumiko’s not gotten into any schoolyard fights unlike Bokuto’s trio of sons. His bosses seem happy with him too, paving the way for him to climb the corporate ladder rung by rung. He’s earned each promotion by burning days in the office, nights in the izakayas schmoozing with his bosses, but it’s worth it, even if it admittedly comes at the expense of being with you and the girls.

It’s a sacrifice he has to make so he can provide you with the fairytale life he’s always promised you. Not that you’ve ever complained about the trade-off.

“She’s the best wife and mom I could’ve asked for”, he tells Kenma, when the former setter asks about you. “I don’t know how she does it.”

Kenma frowns. “You make her sound like a video game character.”

“That’s cos she’s amazing -”

“Kinda sucks that she pretty much has to juggle a full time job and the kids on her own most of the time.”

“She manages perfectly well”, Kuroo enthuses, oblivious to the barb in his friend’s words. “By the time I get home, the girls are in bed, the house is clean, and there’s even a lunch box packed for me each day. She’s a rockstar at work too - should be up for a promotion next financial year.”

“Huh”, Kenma sniffs. “I wonder when she gets a break.”

Kuroo’s too distracted by the round of beers that’s delivered to his table to think deeply about his best friend’s apprehension. When he stumbles through the front door that night, he finds you crouched over the coffee table, frantically typing at your laptop. As expected, the girls are in bed, there’s nothing out of place.

“All good?” he asks you in passing, his mind already filing the tasks on his plate for tomorrow - organising a publicity event jointly held by the JVA and Bouncing Ball Corporation to introduce new national team members, reviewing the proposed budget for this year’s international competitions, popping by the under-19 team to see if there are indeed any promising candidates - he’s already one foot in the bedroom, ready to call it a night.

He doesn’t notice the violets blooming under your eyes.

“Mm.” You don’t look up. “Have a good night.”

Kruoo Tetsuro thinks he’s doing alright.

Bokuto Kotaro, for some reason, doesn’t think so. “Mitsuki said you’re lucky you’re not married to her cos she’ll skin you alive”, he informs him, as if Kuroo shares his love for women capable of chomping his head off in one bite.

Maybe the Bokutos operate on a different metric - because yes, they’re the model of egalitarianism with Mitsuki the high powered general counsel for Kenma’s Bouncing Ball Corporation (based on his referral, he likes to add, cos’ it’s funny to watch Mitsuki growl) and Kotaro the part time coach, full time stay at home dad to his wolfpack of sons, but that doesn’t mean his marriage is on the rocks.

As a child, he was the unwitting witness to his parents’ fights, which culminated in his mother walking out of the door, his father crying over a thick stack of divorce papers. His grandparents took him in, gave him stability and love and comfort but he swore to himself he’s never going to put his daughters through that.

Sure, it’s been a while since you’ve had a night to yourself. The last time he remembers you taking time away from the girls was to go out for dinner with him to celebrate his latest promotion - his conscience stings a little that he can’t remember the last time you’ve taken a break from everything you’ve been doing for him and the girls, but he’ll make it up to you once he has time. You always understand.

Still, just to be sure, he checks in on you again.

“You alright?”, he reaches for your hand, when he climbs into bed that night.

You’re lying in bed. He should find it odd that you’re still awake at this time of the night, staring up at the ceiling as if there’s something to be found there, but he falls asleep in the slow seconds, doesn't hear your response. When he wakes, you’ve already taken the girls to school. He gets himself ready for work, loops his tie around his neck, grabs his briefcase and the bento you’ve so lovingly packed for him, and hops on the train. He runs through his routine like clockwork, but there’s a niggling feeling that he’s missed something important, possibly something to do with you.

Did you say something to him last night?

It doesn’t matter. He makes a mental note to purchase a spa day for you - but that’s promptly forgotten when he’s greeted by a flood of emails and an invitation from his boss to go out for drinks that night.

Kuroo still thinks he’s doing alright.

“You’re lucky”, his boss toasts him. “Your wife doesn’t complain like mine when I go out drinking, even though I tell her I need to do it for work.”

“She’s an angel”, Kuroo replies, quietly bursting with pride. “Never complains.”

“Lucky man”, his boss says. “My wife is such a nag.”

He misses the last train home that night, drops you a text not to wait up and stumbles around Shibuya trying to find a cab. It must be a busy night because by the time he manages to flag down one, it’s three a.m. and his head is pounding from the excess of alcohol and lack of solid food and water. He fumbles with his keys, almost falls through his front door when the lock gives way. “Tadaima”, he says out of habit, too-loudly, before his stomach lurches and he has to make a mad dash for the kitchen sink.

“Tetsuro?”

He wants to respond, but he’s too busy emptying out the contents of his stomach. He shouldn’t have woken you up. He shouldn’t greet you with a mess for you to clean up. He shouldn’t lean so heavily on you that you stagger beneath his weight.

He shouldn’t do all of that yet he does so anyway. You tuck him, a grown man, into bed.

Tomorrow, he’ll apologise. Tomorrow, he’ll make it up to you.

Tomorrow comes. He wakes up.

You’re gone.

Kuroo Tetsuro is not alright.

He’s ashamed to admit that he doesn’t even notice you’ve taken off until it’s way past lunch when your mother drops him a text to ask if he’s picking up the girls or if he intends to leave them with her overnight.

“What d’you mean?” he texts her, confused.

His heart stops when your mother responds to say you dropped off the girls at her place without much of an explanation, an overnight bag slung over your shoulder. You don’t pick up your phones, his calls going straight to voicemail. For the first time in forever, he sheepishly asks his boss for urgent leave from work so he can rush home to figure out what’s going on.

You always take your laptop with you, but it’s sitting at home. He knows it’s an invasion of privacy, but he types in your password (his birthday), and your web browser reveals a booking for a ryokan in Hakone, where the both of you honeymooned almost a decade ago. It’s an hour away by train, far too much time for him to sit and stew in his thoughts. He wonders if you’ve become sick of your life with him, whether you’ve found someone new, and by the time he’s reached the ryokan and charmed the receptionist to let him into your room, he’s teetering on the edge of giving into his frustration, entertaining thoughts about yelling at you for being so goddamned irresponsible, cos how could you just walk out on him and the girls -

Until you walk in, thankfully alone.

It strikes him that it’s the most refreshed he’s seen you look in a very, very long time. Your cheeks are glowing, your eyes sparkle, and there’s a spring in your step that he hasn’t seen since you’ve had the girls.

Still, he can’t help but remain a little peeved. “I’ve been calling you all afternoon”, he informs you. “I was worried.”

He immediately regrets his words as he watches the light die in your eyes.

“Were you?”, you ask, as if you were addressing a stranger. “Really?”

“Of course”, he frowns, slowly getting up to approach you, concerned when you start to sway. “You’re my wife and the mother of our girls, of course I care.”

Laughter spills from your lips, an undercurrent of bitterness and contempt that’s threatening to drag you under before his very eyes. “If you really cared, you’d have noticed that your wife is broken”, you tell him between gasps, your shoulders caving in. “I tried fixing myself with a break, but you can’t even give me that.”

He’s starting to realise that things aren’t alright at all. You flinch when he takes a step towards you, an action which stabs him clean through his heart because he’s your husband, your Tetsuro, your person. Tea, then, a neutral offering that manages to calm you down enough to take a seat, even if you’re still shaking, falling to pieces while laughing, laughing -

“Tell me what’s wrong”, he begs. “Tell me what I can do to fix you.”

You take a sip of tea. It’s hot enough to burn you, but you don’t seem to notice.

“I can’t do this anymore, Tetsuro.”

“Don’t say that”, he snaps, his inner child recoiling because he can’t bear to have his girls go through what he went through, wondering if it was his fault, his very existence that caused his parents to split up. “The girls and I need you -”

You don’t seem to hear him.

“Princess”, he falls back on his pet name for you, rusty from lack of use. “Come back to me.”

You’re unmoved, your eyes unseeing, deaf to his pleas. Sip after sip, you gulp down scalding tea, each action jerky, mechanical. Frozen, in an impenetrable placidness that he can’t read. You’re sitting right in front of him but you’re not really there at all.

“Let’s talk when you’re back home”, he finally says. “Have a good break.”

The immature little boy that still lives in his psyche is still unconvinced that it’s a bad idea to drag you back home with him posthaste, but you asked for a break, and it’s the least he can give to you.

You allow him to roll out your futon for you, to swaddle you in layers of blankets as if that would keep you from falling apart any further. As he kisses your forehead to bid you goodnight and goodbye, he feels the brittleness of your bones, the thinness of your skin beneath his palms and he spends the hour-long train ride home wondering how he managed to look away long enough for you to turn into a shadow of your past self.

He goes straight to your mother’s house to retrieve the girls. As penance, he stands at the front door, head bowed, letting your mother yell at him in front of the neighbours for being a useless husband and an irresponsible father. After all, he deserves every word she flings in his face. He’s just thankful that she doesn’t ream him out in front of the girls.

“Where’s mama?” Fumiko mumbles half asleep into his neck. “Want mama.”

He cradles her closer. “She’ll be home tomorrow”, he tells her, hoping with every fibre of his being that that does not turn out to be a lie. Aiko, older and wiser, just stays quiet, so he forces a smile on his face for her sake.

Kuroo Tetsuro is far from okay.

The strain of the day wears on him and he’s sure there are burning emails in his inbox for him to firefight, but there’s a long list of chores to be done in your absence. The girls’ school bags need to be packed (in the case of five year old Fumiko) or checked (for ten year old Aiko), their uniforms to be laid out, the laundry sorted and folded. He barely gets any sleep before he has to hop out of bed to throw together a cold breakfast of milk and cereal that makes Fumiko burst into tears and Aiko’s face droops. By the time he shuffles his two cranky children out of the house and into their respective schools, he’s late for work.

He meets Bokuto and Kenma for lunch since there’s no lunch bento waiting for him in the fridge, though he regrets the decision to leave the refuge of his work desk for the boardroom of Bouncing Ball Corporation when Mitsuki joins them and, sharp-eyed as ever, sinks her talons into him.

“You look like shit”, she says to him as a greeting.

“Thanks”, he grounds out. The girls demanded he work their hair into the neat braids they insisted you always do, so bedhead would have to do for him today.

“I’ve never seen you without hair gel before”, Bokuto marvels. “You look weird.”

“I had a crap morning, okay”, he snaps, biting the head off the karaage fish in his store bought bento, which he resents for tasting worse than those you usually make for him. “So I’m sorry if I look slightly less than presentable -”

“You look like a man whose wife just left him - “

Mitsuki’s just stepped right on the wound he’s tried to keep hidden, festering and bleeding beneath his skin, so like an animal lashing out when it’s hurt, Kuroo slaps the table with both palms and snarls.

“Don’t - don’t fucking say that, okay? She’s just taking a break. She’ll come home.”

He can’t stand to see the shock and pity on his closest friends’ faces. “She’s coming home today”, he repeats softly, almost to himself, as if he’s little Fumiko in need of reassurance that the person she needs most in the world hasn’t just abandoned her. “It’s gonna be okay.”

Perhaps it’s the maturity that comes with fatherhood, because Bokuto is the first to react. “That’s right, you’re gonna be okay”, he soothes, pulling Kuroo into his seat. “Kenma’s gonna call your boss and tell him that you’re gonna spend the rest of the afternoon here to plan some event - “

“Sponsorship for the Under-19 team, done”, Kenma snaps his phone shut.

“Guys, I’m fine - ”

“Pretending everything’s okay isn’t going to help.”

Kuroo deflates. “Thanks, Kenma.”

Shelving his worthless pride to lay bare the situation he’s found himself in, that by neglecting his duties as a husband and father, he’s forced you to the brink of a mental breakdown, bad enough that you’ve left him - temporarily, he hopes. In the span of a few hours, he’s already found himself at his wit’s end, struggling to handle both the demands of the kids and his job, something that he realises he’s left you to bear, alone.

“But I can’t figure out why she didn’t just tell me she was feeling overwhelmed”, he says, pulling at a fraying thread in his shirt. “I would’ve listened. I would’ve done better.”

“She shouldn’t have to tell you to do your part”, Mitsuki waves away Bokuto’s desperate gesture for her not to kick a man when he’s already down.

“But I didn’t know -”

“Y’know, I really can’t stand men like you. You guys are amazing at work, able to anticipate your bosses’ and clients’ needs. At this point, you don’t even need to be told by your bosses to jump, you don’t even ask your clients ‘how high’ - yet, for some reason, you manage to turn off your brain the minute you walk in through the front door at home.”

“Maybe I should ask her for a list of things I can help her with -”

Bokuto claps his hand over Mitsuki’s mouth. “Ehhh..you might not wanna finish your sentence or Mitsuki might really bite your head off.”

Kuroo winces, snapping his mouth shut.

“Maybe you can think of it in a different way”, Bokuto says. “Instead of ‘helping’ her - cos that’s just placing the mental burden on her - at least, I think that’s the term Mitsuki-chan used when she explained it to me -” the affronted lawyer nods begrudgingly, and beaming, he continues - “you gotta do your half of the work!”

“Level up”, Kenma provides, rather unhelpfully.

“Open your eyes and use your brain”, Mitsuki says bluntly, rolling her eyes, though her tone is less sharp.

“Where do I start?” Kuroo asks.

Step one.

He picks the girls up from his mother in law’s place, bears with the lecture that’s awaiting him, and sheepishly asks them what their mama usually feeds them for dinner and breakfast, making a mental note of it. Tonight, he’ll cheat by feeding them gyudon at Sukiya, but he drops by the supermarket to procure the ingredients he needs for tomorrow’s breakfast and a bouquet of pink roses, even though he knows it’s probably too little, too late. He counts himself lucky that Fumiko loves bathtime, only needing supervision to wash and dry her hair, and Aiko’s responsible enough to work through her homework without prompting, but he’s still exhausted by the time they both head to bed.

His job doesn’t end there. Running through the checklist Mitsuki begrudgingly allowed Bokuto to give him, he surveys the apartment, comparing it against the mental image of how everything was before you left it. Toys scattered, to be put back in place. Dust on floor, to be vacuumed up. A heap of laundry in the basket, to be hung, dried, ironed.

Just as he finishes all these tasks, the front door swing opens.

“Tadaima”, you call out, voice hushed.

He nearly trips over his feet in his haste to relieve you of your luggage, usher you into a seat by the kitchen counter. “Okaerie”, he breathes,

“The girls?” you ask.

He’ll buy Bokuto lunch next time. “I picked them up from your mom”, he responds. “Don’t wake them up, I just put them to bed.”

You peek into their rooms nonetheless. “Thanks”, you say, heading next to the fridge. “By the way, I’ll pay you back for the hotel room from my own money, don’t worry.”

That’s the last thing on his mind. Besides, his sin is being a neglectful husband, not a miser. “It’s fine, I’ll cover it”, he scratches his head, embarrassed that you’re even bringing it up. “I should’ve realised you needed a break.”

That makes you frown, but you accept anyway. He watches you stack bread, eggs, ham, cheese, and it strikes him that you’re already worrying about the girls’ breakfast when you look as if you haven’t even had your own dinner.

“You haven’t had dinner?” he asks.

You reply carelessly that you’ve had a bento on the train back. You don’t even bother to look at him.

“I’ll take the girls in the mornings from now”, he tells you. “Sleep in and take a break.”

That gets your attention.

“Really?”

He plasters a confident smirk on his face to reassure you that he’s got it all in hand.

“Oh”, you’re adorable when you’re confused, but he hates that he’s given you reason to doubt him. “Wake me up if you need my help?”

“I won’t”, he promises.

It’s time for him to level up.

Step two.

He’s not going to lie to himself that he finds it difficult to do even half of what you used to do. Taking over the responsibility of wrangling the girls out of bed and into school, coming home early enough for dinner with you, that requires him to have hard conversations with his boss about not being able to go out for drinks or come in early anymore which probably hurts his chances for his next promotion, forces him to give up an hour or two of sleep, but it’s worth it if it allows you to heal.

“Don’t expect a gold star for your efforts”, Mitsuki warned him. “It’s just what you should’ve been doing before, so it’s time for you to go above and beyond.”

He takes her words to heart. You deserve to go to work well-rested, to wind down at night with a hot bath. He’ll buy a robot vacuum and pour over its manual that’s thicker than a textbook, do laundry loads while hopping on and off conference calls, wrestle the iron to press down his own shirts.

You seem baffled by the sudden shift in the winds, but he just pretends everything is normal. Business as usual. Things are just as they should’ve been.

In his next push to right his wrongs, he organises a Saturday dinner date with you. The girls are packed off with your mother, he makes the reservation, books the cab, compliments your dress. He asks you about your work (tiring), your boss (a micro-manager), the books you’ve read recently (nada, zilch). In the uphill battle to keep the conversation from being stilted, he makes a fatal mistake.

“We can make it work if you want to quit your job and stay home full time with the children.”

In his mind, that was a reasonable suggestion to make since you seem to hate your job and boss with a fiery passion. But you stare at him wide-eyed, your initial confusion hardening into anger.

“Did the guys at work tell you it’s easier to have a housewife instead of a working wife? Are you saying this because you don’t think I’m a good enough mother to our girls?”

You don’t give him a chance to backpedal, shooting a sarcastic apology for being selfish enough to refuse to be reliant on him, so he just slumps back in his chair in defeat.

“I just want you to be happy”, he murmurs. “Forget I ever said that.”

Step three.

To figure out step three, he schedules an emergency lunch meeting on Monday. The troops convene in Kenma’s boardroom to listen to his sorry tale with Mitsuki in charge of the post–battle analysis.

“And remind me again, where did you two meet?”

His face lights up at the memory of his first meeting with you. “Finance 102”, he replies. “We used to be academic rivals turned teammates after I convinced her I was smart enough for her to work with on projects.”

“What made you fall in love with her?”

“As much as I hate it, I have to admit she’s probably smarter than me”, he says, though the fond smile that creeps onto his face betrays the fact that he loves that about you. “She’s just - her, she’s headstrong and funny. Did I tell you how she tried to stab me with her fork when I stole food off her plate -”

“Only a million times”, Kenma interjects.

“She’s always been independent and ambitious, with big dreams and an even bigger heart.”

“Well”, Mitsuki says, adopting the mildest tone she’s used on him this month. “Does that sound like a woman who’d choose to stay home and depend on her husband? Not that there’s anything wrong with being a stay-at-home parent - Koutaro makes my career possible, and I’m the luckiest woman in the world to have him as my husband.”

“Babyyyyy.” Bokuto bawls, looking at MItsuki as if she hangs the moon in the sky.

Gross. Kenma seems to agree. “Let’s get back to Kuroo’s failing marriage”,

“So I shouldn’t bring up the suggestion that she quit her job again?”

His three person council shake their heads in unison. “Just keep what you’re doing”, Bokuto pipes up. “Sounds like you’re already doing the right things! Just gotta keep making sure she’s not holding up the sky herself.”

He can do that.

“And maybe talk to her?”, Kenma offers.

That’s the suggestion that he wants to dismiss right off the bat because he’s too much of a coward to even face the possibility that you might leave him. He doesn’t want to become his dad so he resolves to keep his head down and continue pushing ahead with his efforts to prove to you that he can be the husband you deserve, so you won’t wake up one day and decide to walk out on him again.

But his subconscious fears force his nightmares into overdrive. Dreams of packed bags and stacks of divorce papers makes him yelp loud enough for you to roll over and shake him awake. He’s a terrible husband for disturbing your sleep, but in his sleep-dazed state of confusion he just sinks back into the pillow, exhaling a sigh of relief.

“Thank the gods you haven’t left.”

“Why would I leave?”, you mumble, turning away again. “It’s my home, isn’t it.”

He sits up, rubs the nightmares away from his eyes. “I was afraid you left me.”

The silence nearly suffocates him. The sudden need to know exactly where you stand eats away at him and he crawls towards you. “Are you going to leave me”, he asks, praying to all the gods in the universe that you’ll reassure him otherwise.

His heart breaks anew when he hears a small sob, buried in the bedclothes. “I don’t know, Tetsuro”, you finally say. “I’m tired of being alone in a marriage when it’s supposed to be us working together.”

“I’m sorry.” There’s nothing much he can say.

A broken whisper. “I’m tired”, you exhale. “I think I deserve better.”

“I’ll make it better”, he promises.

He will. He will.

Kuroo Tetsuro is trying his best.

He takes a cooking class on the weekends to learn how to prepare bento boxes that are nutritious and easy on the wallet. He takes over the ferrying of Fumiko to her swimming lessons, work on Aiko’s art projects with her. He hires a part time cleaner to pick up the deep cleaning, so you and he have time to take the girls out on weekend outings instead of spending all day on a week’s worth of cumulated chores. A dishwasher appears in the house. He makes it a game for he and the girls to load and unload dishware each night.

“There’s a networking wine night for finance next Wednesday”, he tells you casually. “I’ll make sure to be home so you can go, if you want.”

You goggle at him.

“Go schmooze so the world knows you’re as amazing as I know you are.”

You trust him enough to leave the girls behind in his care and go. He counts that as a win.

Some nights he still can’t get home in time for dinner, but he always makes sure he’s home in time for a bedtime story and a goodnight kiss. Aiko avers that at the grand old age of ten, she doesn’t need her papa to tuck her to bed anymore, but she sidles into Fumiko’s room everynight and sits in the corner of her little sister’s bed as the littler girl listens to his tall tales.

“I met a princess when I was eighteen”, he says with a grin when he notices you listening in. “Instead of a crown, she armed herself with a fork, ready to cut down anyone who’d cross her.”

His heart skips a beat when he hears your voice from the doorway. “Don’t be dramatic”, you interrupt, a small smile growing on your face. “You were trying to steal my food and didn’t stop ‘til I stabbed you.”

Fumiko huffs, unhappy that her story’s being interrupted, but he can’t seem to tear his gaze away from you. “You left it on the table, princess. I consider that fair game.”

“Let ‘to-san tell the story, ka’san.” Aiko grumbles.

He savours your laughter. It tastes better than the finest wine.

“I can’t believe I have to fly all the way to Italy just to meet Kageyama-kun”, he huffs. “At least Hinata is meeting us there, I’ll revolt if I had to go up to Brazil as well.”

“You know it can’t be helped”, you reply. “The promotional activities planned need your presence, and it’s only for a week.”

“Will you be okay when I’m gone?”

His fears melt away when you hand him his suitcase, a flask of his favourite tea. “I’ve always managed fine. Nothing’s changed.”

His little monsters, realising that he’s about to leave, decide to launch a synchronised attack on him. Aiko throws herself at him in a bear hug. Fumiko yanks at his sleeve demanding a thousand kisses.

“Yes, well. I’ll be home soon. Please wait for me” he says to you when the girls finally release him. The expression on your face is unreadable, but you don’t pull away when he takes the liberty of taking your hand in his.

He feels your heartbeat accelerates. You glance up at him, almost shy. “I’ll see you soon.”

He’s so tempted to call his boss and pretend that he’s too ill to get on that damned flight, but he’s pretty sure that would get him fired. Instead, he calls you and the girls every day, and brings home a luggage full of presents for all of you.

When he’s home, he celebrates by putting on the frilliest pink apron he’s ever seen (courtesy of Yaku, who sent it to him all the way from Moscow as a joke) and throwing an elaborate takoyaki party, replete with customised toppings - octopus, cheese and shrimp, which the girls enjoyed even if he burnt the first batch and had to call Fukunaga frantically for tips to rescue the rest. It turns out to be such a success that he makes it a weekly event. Okonomiyaki is next, which he flips with expert confidence on a hot plate to the applause of you and the girls.

“Itadakimasu”, you clap your hands together. “It tastes good.”

He nearly melts into his pan. “Thank you”, he replies. “It means a lot, coming from you.”

His nights are still plagued by nightmares.

Things are better with you, he likes to think. The violets beneath your eyes are replaced by roses in your cheeks. He hears you humming about the house again. You pick up reading again, the shelves in the house start to groan under the weight of books belonging to the girls and you. You’re as eager as the girls to go on the next adventure, whether it be a summer night out in the park with sparklers, or a nerf gun battle at home on rainy days.

Still, he doesn’t know for sure what he’s doing is enough for you and he’s too much of a coward to check. So he’ll wake up almost every night, fumble in the dark just to make sure you’re there.

You’re there, until you aren’t.

It’s three in the morning. The space beside him is cold and empty.

He throws off the blankets, trips on his bed slippers. He crashes through into the living room and oh, there you are - sitting at the dining table, typing furiously at your laptop while mouthing off to yourself about the ridiculous demands your client makes.

“What’s wrong?” you frown.

He walks towards you, trying to discern that you’re real, you’re there, not some trick of the light..

“You’re - you’re still here.”

You nod slowly, eyeing him strangely. “My boss called and asked me to send out an urgent email. I was just about to go back to bed.”

He exhales, tries to force his trembling heart back into his chest. He thinks he’s doing a good job trying to act nonchalant, smoothing back his frazzled mane of hair, but you see right through him as you always do.

“Tetsuro”, you say slowly. “Is everything alright?

The truth tumbles out of his mouth. “I thought you were gone.”

Then he hangs his head, looks at his feet, afraid that he’ll only see rejection in your eyes. He’s a pathetic failure of a husband who has a decade’s worth of sins to make up for, and there’s no justification for him to selfishly to seek your absolution.

It comes anyway, in the form of soft hands pulling him forward.

“I’m here”, you say, pulling him into your embrace, letting him rest his heavy head in your lap.

He doesn’t allow himself to sink into your warmth. “Are you happier now? Are things better for you?”

“Yes”, he hears you say. The tension he’s been carrying around these few months lifts. “Thank you, Tetsuro. I appreciate it. I really do. You don’t have to work yourself to death - that’s never what I was asking for. If you’re tired -”

He shakes his head at your suggestion. He’s got a long way yet before he earns any reprieve.

“Tetsuro -”

He sits up abruptly, takes your hands in his.

“Promise you won’t leave me”, he pleads. “I know you’ve had to carry what must’ve felt like the weight of the entire world on your own, and I don’t have any excuse for that.”

“You don’t”, you agree.

He accepts the blow but he takes comfort that you don’t pull away. “I know that now. I know now how fucking hard it was to do it all alone.”

“It was hard. It was so, so hard, Tetsuro. I became numb to the pain. I don’t think I was functioning, I haven’t been for a while. For a long, long while.”

“I’m sorry”, his voice cracks.

“I know.” You cup his face in your hands, offers him comfort he doesn’t deserve. “That’s a chapter of our marriage that’s past, that can’t be unwritten. But the past few months have been different. You’ve shown me that you’ve changed.”

The first glimmer of sunlight after a long, dark winter. Hope blooms with your smile.

“I think”, you say. “I think we can make this work again.”

He stares at you, dumbstruck. Then the fact that you’re giving him another chance dawns upon him, and he crashes forward to rest his head on your shoulder, unashamed to cry tears of relief.

“Thank you”, he exhales brokenly. “I won’t fuck this up again, I promise.”

You press a kiss to his forehead, curl up trustingly in his arms. “Don’t thank me”, you laugh. “Thank yourself for making me believe in you.”

He drinks up each drop of your affection, falls asleep in the cradle of your arms.

“Is this what flirting is like?”

He wakes up to Aiko’s impertinent question, her hands on hips looking distinctly unimpressed at finding her parents asleep on the sofa, entwined together.

“Who taught you that word?” Kuroo asks, aghast that his ten year old daughter even recognises the existence of the opposite gender.

Aiko sticks her tongue at him, and he’s too distracted by Fumiko taking a flying leap onto the sofa with them, chattering a thousand miles an hour about what’s for breakfast and whether they can go to the zoo this afternoon - though he pins his suspicions on Bokuto’s trio of sons.

“Monsters”, he says. “Can’t even give your to-san a break to snuggle up to your pretty ka’san.”

The girls shriek in dismay - Aiko, at being a witness to further gross displays of affection between her parents, Fumiko, at being called a monster despite being a self-proclaimed princess. You prod at the soft flesh between his ribs.

“Don’t be mean”, you admonish him.

He sniffs, taking the chance to draw you closer. “I’m cranky in the mornings unless I get a morning kiss.”

You snort, swatting at him. “You make it sound as if kisses contain caffeine.”

The girls giggle, but he protests.

“Full of nonsense”, you tease, but you kiss him, again and again and again.

Things settle into a steady, sustainable pace.

You refuse to allow him to bear the weight of the household on his back alone. There are frank conversations to be had about what each of you can realistically handle without burning out. He leads the charge in the mornings, whipping up breakfast with the aid of his two sous chefs, building an expertise in braiding and french twists that could possibly allow him to moonlight as a hairstylist. You, on the other hand, take charge of evening pick-ups, cooking dinners, supervising homework and art projects until he comes home and tags you out.

Chores are evenly split. He doesn’t allow you to assume the mental load of organising the household by yourself. “We both have a degree in business management”, he likes to remind you, because he now knows that remembering to run errands, scheduling appointments - all of this is work too.

You force him to take breaks. If you get to relax with your friends, so should he. “If you get too stressed, you’ll lose your hair and we can’t have that.” He yelps when he imagines himself bald and obediently complies when you call Kenma up, talk him into getting him and Bokuto and Akaashi (when he’s feeling less morose about his singlehood) to go for a round of pick up volleyball. “I’m glad you enjoyed yourself”, you note wryly when he returns home crowing about how he stuffed an Olympic player with a kill block.

“I did”, he replies, catching your hips to pull you in, cheekily ignoring your complaints that he’s sweaty. “But I enjoy coming home to you even more.”

“Gross”, you grumble, but you seem content to remain in his arms.

It’s another small moment he treasures. Life, he learns, is made of moments, both big and small. He’d made the mistake of only focusing on the big ones - graduation, playing at nationals, the day he was lucky enough to marry you, each of his daughter’s birthdays. Now, though, he cherishes each moment, each second he has with you and the girls, no matter how little, no matter how small.

He likes to come into the bathroom each night, leaning his elbow on the edge of the bathtub as you chat to him about your day, luxuriating in the bath he drew for you. You and he take turns to complain about life’s inconveniences as you clear emails once the girls have gone off to bed- colleagues who shirk their work, bosses who nitpick overmuch, washing everything down with steaming cups of herbal tea.

“Are you happy?”, he asks you, night after night.

“Mm”, you say with an impish grin. “I’d be happier if you let me put my toes on your calves.”

“They’re freezing”, he groans but scoots over anyway. “Better?”

“Much better”, you hum, content. “Life is good.”

He’s not remiss in planning the big moments too.

A year passes quickly to your wedding anniversary. He packs your suitcase, books the train tickets and whisks you back to the ryokan in Hakone, though this time he upgrades you both to their largest suite. “I feel like a princess!” you exclaim, twirling about the room.

Your happiness is worth every yen he spent.

You spend the day strolling down avenues lined with cherry blossoms, Mount Fuji looming in the backdrop, the evening exchanging heated kisses in the private onsen he booked. You’re older now, with laughter lines creased into your forehead, grey streaks in your hair, but you’re still the same girl he fell in love with all those years ago.

“And you couldn’t wait ‘til we got back to our room?” you smack him.

He also loves how there’s fire burning bright in your eyes, the way it always used to. “You kissed me first!”

“You kissed me second!”

“I don’t hear you complaining”, he cackles.

You try to shush him, to no avail, as he draws the attention of everyone around him.

“What a happy couple”, an obaa-san remarks out loud. “They must be newlyweds.”

Well, she’s not wrong. You’re as radiant as you were fifteen years ago, his spring bride, but he’s an old man doddering on, hopefully with his edges sanded off with time. “Just your regular old, married couple”, he chortles when you’re safely back in the room.

“A happily married couple”, you reply, serenely sipping your tea. “That obaa-san definitely got that part right.”

There’s a lump in his throat that he can’t swallow. “Are you happy?” he manages to ask anyway.

“With you?” Your smile is warm, bright. Always.”

Both of you are doing alright.

a/n: it's been a while, hasn't it. i've been alright - how are you guys doing?

#kuroo x you #kuroo x reader #kuroo testuro #haikyuu angst #haikyuu fluff

380 notes · View notes

turtletaubwrites · 1 month

Text

Misty Eyes ~ Part 4

THIS FIC CONTAINS DARK CONTENT. 18+ ONLY. MDNI.

Pairings: Trafalgar Law x Fem!Reader, Doflamingo x Fem!Reader (Past & Flashbacks)

Word Count: 5041

Misty Eyes Masterlist

Ao3 Link

Summary: This new life feels like a dream, and you're finding it hard to believe. How could you be here, how could you be safe? How could you be wanted?

Author's Note: Heeyy, so I swear there's smut in here, but our misty eyed reader has trauma, so a little patience is required.

Thank you so much @pinejayy for this delicious request!!

Rating/Warnings: Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Explicit Sexual Content, 18+ ONLY, MDNI, AFAB!Reader, She/Her Pronouns for Reader, Reader-Insert, Devil Fruit User Reader, Swearing, Eventual Smut, Angst, Pet Names, Degradation, Punishment, Emotional Abuse, DARK CONTENT, DUBCON, Grooming, Trauma, Past Sexual Abuse, Manipulation, Power Imbalance, Dubious Consent, Doflamingo is His Own Warning, Bondage, Dissociation, Inappropriate Use of Akuma no Mi | Devil Fruit Powers, Kissing, Shame, Blood and Violence, Vomiting, Minor Character Death (unnamed character), Sparring, Childhood Memories, Chaste Childhood Kiss, Teasing, Tickling, Yandere Doflamingo, Hurt/Comfort, Smut, Hair-Pulling, Birth Control, Unprotected Sex (stay safe out there!), Forced Pregnancy (Implied/Intended), Sterilization (Implied/Intended), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Cunnilingus, Vaginal Fingering, Penis in Vagina Sex, Soft Trafalgar D. Water Law, Other Additional Tags To Be Added

!!! SPOILERS !!! This story begins during the 2 year timeskip before the Punk Hazard Arc, and there will also be spoilers for the Dressrosa Arc for backstory lore

“You’re such a–”

Law kissed his laugh into your mouth, and you couldn’t hold onto your outrage.

Instead, you held onto him.

Law.

He was alive. He was with you. He was kissing you.

One of his hands teased into the hair at the back of your neck, his thumb tracing along your cheek. You didn’t know what to reach for, your fingers clawing into his shirt while you went to pieces.

His kiss was somehow desperate and gentle. Deep and slow, with needy sounds shared between you. Writhing under the weight of his body, your eyes went misty from overwhelm. You wanted to pull him inside your chest, keeping him in the hole he’d carved, so you could feel this way forever.

“Are you okay,” he breathed, his thumb smoothing away the grateful tears.

“So good,” you laughed, the sweet smile he gave pulling a happy sob from your throat.

Law kissed along your temple, your cheek, following your jaw down as you gasped, your breath shuddering through you. He breathed along your skin, tracing the tip of his nose, then his lips over the crook of your neck before leaving gentle kisses, a deep hum vibrating through him.

Your skin was electric, shivers running through you as you arched your back. Breathy whines escaped you, crying out when he rasped your name.

You tugged at his shirt, moaning as you yanked it up to feel his skin. He pulled back from your struggle, and your breath caught when he stared down at you. His golden eyes were dark as he pulled his shirt off, your eyes fluttering back at the sight of his tattooed skin. His body caged you in before he tasted your lips again.

He was still pinning you, your thighs trapped beneath his weight.

But that gave you more access to pull at the buttons of his jeans, whining when he stopped your frantic fingers.

“Can I take my time with you,” Law asked, his husky voice making you shake. He brought your knuckles to his lips before he looked around, brows creasing at the sight of hate papering the walls. “There’s a couch in my quarters next door, do you–”

Your breathless “yes,” interrupted him, and he kissed you again before helping you up. He laughed at your pout when he pulled his shirt back on, before leading you by the hand.

“Aren’t you the captain? Can’t you do what you want,” you whispered behind him while he looked back and forth down the hallway.

He ignored you, pulling you toward the next room when he saw the coast was clear. You couldn’t help the giggles that escaped, echoing down the corridor. Your laughs only grew when he huffed, pressing you against the closed door when he got you inside.

“Do you remember sneaking into the storeroom to steal weapons?”

His scolding glare faltered, his lips quirking as you watched the memory form in his mind.

“Yeah, you got us caught,” he taunted, tracing his fingers along your hair, his eyes seeming to eat up every detail of your face. Including the indignant furrowing of your brows.

“I did not! It wasn’t my fault, I only tripped because Cora dropped his…”

It was subtle, but the slight grimace on Law’s face made you want to never speak again.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t… I don’t think I know what really happened with you and–”

“It’s fine. I don’t wanna talk about it,” Law straightened, pulling back from you before adding, “not right now.”

How do I fuck up literally everything?

“Come on,” he tugged at your fingers with a small smile. His quarters were large, and you bit your lip at the sight of his bed, his covers ruffled from last night’s sleep. He gestured for you to join him on the couch, but you skirted around him.

“Oh my gods, are you kidding me?”

A large set of shelves lined the wall behind the couch, and you misted out of his grabbing hands to get a closer look.

Turning back to him with a laugh, your eyes wide with gleeful shock, you pointed at the displays.

“I haven’t seen these in ages!”

You reached into the shelf, picking up one of the early Sora comics from its display stand.

“Hey, careful,” Law cautioned, throwing his long legs over the back of the couch to take the thin book from your grasp.

“Really,” you teased, raising an eyebrow as he returned the book with care. You looked over the rest of the shelves, leaning in to examine the rows of coins he’d displayed between the comics.

“You’re such a fucking dork.”

“Hobbies are important for maintaining mental health,” he said blandly, not meeting your eyes as he looked over his collection.

“Whatever you say, nerd,” you laughed, touching his waist to force him to look at you. “I think it’s cute.”

He scowled as you bounced on your toes, narrowing his eyes before giving in, pulling you into a kiss.

“Shut up.”

His soft command touched your lips, your laughter still humming through the kiss. Grinning, you curled your fingers into his black hair.

“Make me.”

Law huffed a laugh, your favorite smirk shining through before you squealed as he picked you up. He sat you on the back of the couch, legs scrambling around his waist. Your mind was empty of everything, but the need to feel more of him.

Until you slid backwards.

“Shit, sorry,” he apologized, gripping your arms before your back could hit the cushions with your head toward the floor. He helped you turn, moving your legs to the side so you laid across the long couch.

“Already trying to kill me?”

You couldn’t remember feeling this light, this free, as you did teasing him. As he crawled on top of you, the weight and scent of him making you sigh. The feel of his tongue trailing your neck before he nibbled at your ear, bringing another squeal while you shivered. The look in his eyes almost brought tears to your own.

I can’t believe he’s real.

“Not yet,” he purred, tracing his hand along your waist. He kissed you, and kissed you, and kissed you until you couldn’t take it. You whined, fighting with his shirt until he grinned and pulled it off.

“Impatient–” he scolded, giving a surprised laugh when your hands reached the waistband of his jeans again. Law moved you gently so he could sit beside you, but you wasted no time in straddling him. You’d already tossed your shirt aside, fingers reaching for the clasp of your bra.

“Hey, hold on, Y/N,” he hummed, hugging you against him to slow you down. The sound of your heart somehow pounded in your head, even though it was trapped in the next room.

Law sat back, his warm hands stroking down your arms.

“You’re gorgeous,” he praised, eyes soft as he gazed at you. His head fell back, letting out a surprised moan when you rocked your body forward. The feel of his hard cock through all that fabric stunned you, and your body grinded onto his on instinct.

His whispered, “fuck,” was lost in a feverish kiss, and you managed to tear your bra off while his strong hands pulled your hips down further.

“Wait,” he muttered, voice almost pained. Pulling away, his eyes rolled back slightly at the sight of your bare chest. You had to bite your lip hard not to reach for him again.

“What is it?”

Worry had broken through your question, and you couldn’t fight the fears that crept in. Both of you panted for a few moments, lungs fighting for air after stealing it from each other’s lips.

He doesn’t want me. How could he want me after Doffy touched me?

“I just wanna make sure you’re okay,” he checked in, smoothing the hair from your face. “We don’t need to rush anything.”

You knew his words should be comforting, but the hot pressure of tears built in your throat, your mind filling with the torment of words that you knew weren’t your own.

‘My disgusting little doll. So pretty. So sick. That’s the only thing you’re good for, huh? Such an empty little toy. Maybe one day you'll be worth more. Think you can carry the blood of kings in this weak body of yours?’

“Y/N? Y/N, you’re safe.”

Part of you heard his voice while your body stayed frozen, eyes stuck wide as your nails dug into his shoulders. Fighting to shake free, you mumbled what was meant to be an apology as your hands slumped onto your lap. The sticky weight of wet cement kept every thought and movement sluggish, and you barely reacted when Law pulled a thin blanket off the back of the couch, wrapping you up.

“Mmsrry,” you slurred, unsure how long you’d been frozen. He rubbed his hands lightly on your blanket covered arms, shaking his head.

“Don’t be. Just let me know what you need, okay? Can I get you some water?”

A jarring laugh fell from your lips, but you managed to nod. He sat you on the couch, fussing with the blanket to make sure you were comfortable and covered. Burning tears pricked your eyes as he went into an adjacent room. The sound of running water covered a strangled cry, but your eyes were dry when he returned with a glass.

Law sat on the coffee table, but stayed quiet, leaving your thoughts to berate you for putting him through this. Shame piled on you, until something in you cracked open, his gentle question opening the way.

“Is there anything I can do?”

“You can do surgery,” you remembered, the words rough and empty.

“Yeah, I can,” he confirmed after a pause. Your body almost went slow again, but the urgency of terror pushed you, forcing you to reach for help.

“Can you, please… please, sterilize me?”

Your fragile voice strained high at the last words, and the rocking of your body sped up, your eyes clamping shut.

“Please, Law, I can’t–”

“I’m right here, Y/N. You can talk to me.”

Tears fell onto your thighs as you looked down. Nauseating guilt poured through you, a confession flooding from your lips like bile.

“I was selfish. I wasn’t ready. I’m too weak.”

Law argued softly, his hand on your shoulder doing nothing to stop the stream of ugly truths.

“I tricked… I made her help me,” you bawled, memories flowing in until you shook with shame. “Baby 5 still does everything. I took advantage of her. He would have hurt her, killed her! I’m disgusting, I’m sick. How could I–”

“Y/N, stop,” he commanded, shocking you into stillness. “You are not sick. You were a prisoner. Can you tell me what happened?”

“I–” you choked, blinking into his steady gaze, “Doffy said I’d finally prove myself if I… If I could carry a superior life in my body. If I could survive it tearing itself out of me.”

Your ragged breath caught in your lungs at the sight of Law’s towering rage, a barely contained snarl only dropping when he released the bruising grip he’d taken on your shoulder. You interrupted his apology, somehow feeling calmer after his display of anger.

“Baby 5’s compulsion has only gotten worse over the years,” you explained, detached from the story now as you followed Law’s orders. “I told her I needed her help, and she did it, even though she disagreed. Even though she would be punished if he found out.”

~🔪🔫🗡️~

“Shouldn’t you be asking the young master about this,” Baby 5 frowned, crossing her arms as she assessed you.

“Yes, but–”

“Are you keeping secrets from him,” she accused, one of her arms shifting into a sickle to hold against your throat, even though she knew it wouldn’t connect. “I knew you were weak, but I never thought you’d be a traitor.”

“Please, Baby 5,” you begged, hands misty as you held them toward her, “I need you. I need your help.”

“... You need me?”

~🔪🔫🗡️~

The gravity of what you’d done sank into you again, but his waiting gaze pushed you through, separating from the pain and shame behind your confession.

“I wasn’t ready. I never wanted to be ready. Especially for him. Even when I wanted to be his, I never wanted that. He promised I’d be rewarded, that I’d be worthy of the family. But I never wanted kids, and I knew that he… I knew I might not survive–”

Fear and bile caught up with you, leaning forward over your lap to hit your fists against your forehead.

“We’re safe here,” he reminded you, grabbing your wrists gently until you shuddered, sitting up again.

“I couldn’t go anywhere without him knowing. I wouldn’t be able to hide pills without someone finding them, and reporting me. Everyone…” you choked out, swallowing the humiliation that threatened to spill into the world, “everyone knew what I was. Everyone knew that the only thing I’m good for–”

“Stop saying that,” he seethed, his knuckles going white as his fists clenched in his lap. The rage in him relaxed your body, nodding before you went on.

“I made Baby 5 steal birth control shots for me, and she’d give them to me every three months. I put her life at risk, he would’ve… I’m so selfish.”

Your sins were revealed as the man before you shook beneath his skin. Watching the play of muscles flexing in his jaw was almost soothing.

“I have two months left of this shot,” you pleaded, head falling back against the couch. “Please do the surgery. Please.”

Law stared at you for too long. Your body went weak, slow tears dripping down your temples to your ears, and you were too spent to wipe them away.

I’ll never be safe. Doffy will find me. He’ll chain me up until I give him what he wants. I’ll birth another monster that will taste my blood on their lips before I’m free to die.

If Doffy doesn’t just torture and kill me as soon as he catches me.

“I can do it in a way that can be reversed,” he breathed, his words icing your veins, “but I don’t know another doctor that would know how to reverse it for you safely.”

“I don’t want it reversed,” you flew forward, clawing at his hands. “Just do it, please! If you can reverse it, you don’t have to believe me, but I swear it’s what I want.”

“... Can we think about it for a few days,” he coaxed.

Slow hit your system again.

Of course he wouldn’t do that. It’s all I’m good for.

“I’m not saying no.”

“Mhm,” you nodded, the embarrassment of this whole interaction making you want to sleep forever. “I’m sor–”

“Stop,” he rasped, his fingers in your hair as he cradled your face. “How can I help you feel better right now?”

Another manic laugh left your throat, and you cringed at yourself, fighting not to apologize again.

“Do you,” Law cleared his throat, a tentative smile tugging at his lips, “do you wanna read Sora with me?”

~🦩🦩🦩~

“Do you miss that little traitor?”

“N-no, Doffy, I just–”

He snatched the wanted poster from your grasp, sneering before ripping it in half, letting the pieces fall to the marble floor.

“It’s funny,” he huffed, pinching your cheeks between his long fingers, “you’ve been so loyal all these years, and that boy betrayed our family. But he’s the useful one.”

Holding in your cries at his punishing grip, you braced yourself for whatever came next.

It was a brutal kiss, and you fell into it, giving everything you were to your king.

Doffy pulled back, that wide grin beaming down at you, his fingers tracing your face, pressing into your mouth.

“Such a pretty doll.”

~🦩🦩🦩~

Small whimpers from your own lips shook you awake, and you stilled. The heat and pressure of Doffy’s body didn’t seem to be near.

And the sheets weren’t silk.

“Good morning,” Law rasped, his hair beautifully mussed as he looked up from a book. The couch looked cozy with his pillow and blanket, bringing a disgruntled whine from your throat as you stretched across his lonely bed.

“Are you up for work today?”

He chuckled at your second whine, and you felt his weight on the edge of the bed while you buried your face in the pillow.

“You don’t wanna disappoint Ikkaku,” he teased, shaking your shoulder gently. “Believe me, I know.”

More wordless complaints made him laugh, and that sound alone got you to shake your sleep away.

That, and the soft kisses he gave, the slow sharing of morning breath that kicked you both to the bathroom to brush teeth, fingers pinching at each other's ribs.

So fucking cute. Until you left his quarters, and he held up that stoic face in front of his crew, even though you could tell they saw through it.

The Surgeon of Death. That angry, smirking, dangerous kid that turned into a vicious Warlord of the Sea.

He was a sweetie pie.

I can’t wait to call him that.

You had a feeling that “Weps” would be your favorite position on the ship. There was something about the sonar that scratched a part of your brain, and Ikkaku was still the most relaxing person to be around. No need to fill the quiet with chatter, and no personal questions to skirt. Just instructions, a few jokes now and then, and the occasional “no slouching at sonar, slacker,” always followed with a wink.

“Ooh, I think you’re in trouble.”

Your head shot up at her whispered tease, only to find Law's grumpy face assessing you from the doorway.

Was I slouching?

“Our new recruit will join you for morning shifts for the rest of the week, and I expect a full report on her performance.”

“Yes, captain,” she nodded, her face matching his serious tone. You tried not to gulp.

“Come with me,” the captain ordered, and you found yourself slipping easily into obedience, low level anxiety wrapping comfortably around you.

“Am I in trouble,” you tried to joke, keeping your voice quiet in the halls.

“What? No,” he shook his head, gesturing to the now familiar door. “It’s lunchtime.”

Your soft, “oh,” was drowned out by the crew, although there weren’t many in the galley at the moment. Jean Bart’s greeting boomed from his massive form, the sound heavy enough for multiple pirates.

Anxiety stuck with you throughout the meal, up until Law brought you to the training room.

“I thought we were doing an interview today,” you asked, feet still planted in the hallway.

“Changed my mind. Unless you’re too scared to fight me,” he deadpanned, walking into the room without glancing to see if you’d follow. That feeling was back. That familiar, yet thrilling feeling of playful competition, and it pulled you out of your spiral.

“Jerk,” you huffed, chasing after him.

“Disrespecting your captain again,” he tutted as he pulled you onto the mats. He faced off with you with a smirk, looking you up and down while you moved into a fighting stance. “You’ve got the nerve to mouth off when you’re this out of shape?”

You were the first to strike this time, and it did not go your way.

“You know, you could be a little nicer,” you grumbled, nudging his book with your toes. After an embarrassing training session, annoyingly separate showers, and a dinner with too many energetic crewmates, you shoved your feet onto his lap while you stretched across his couch.

“Could I?”

The purr in his voice made your breath hitch, pressing your toes a little further into his lap until he tossed his book on the table.

He caught your feet, tattooed hands rubbing gently before he pushed them away. More guilt and fear that he didn’t want you started to creep in, until you felt his weight. Until he kissed those doubts away.

“How could I be nicer,” he rasped, his facial hair making you shiver as he breathed along your neck. You wrapped your legs around his waist, loving the quiet gasp he let out.

“Fuck me, Law.”

His body moved against yours, just a bit, and your back arched at the feel of his fingers digging into your hips.

“Please,” you begged, with your nails twisting through his hair, “I want you.”

He kissed you again, and his heavy-lidded eyes rolled back when you scraped his bottom lip between your teeth.

Your body mourned the loss of his heat as he sat back on his heels. The urge to grab him, to pull him toward you, to take him in, had you fighting yourself, but you couldn’t stop your body from writhing. Near-panicked fingers dragged over your own clothes, and you tried not to sob with need.

“Y/N,” he coaxed, his ragged breathing like another temptation you had to fight against, “I want you to feel safe. We can stop anytime, you can tell me–”

“Please, gods, fuck me, Law. I nee–”

Your desperate moan echoed into his mouth as he grinded against you. He helped you rip the shirt from his body, then pulled you up to sit as you tore the suffocating fabric from your own skin.

“Fuck, you’re beautiful,” Law swooned, going to his knees on the floor for better access to trail his lips down your shoulders, your chest, your stomach. He let out a needy moan when you threw your bra to the side. You nodded as he glanced up at you, then arched your back when he wrapped his lips around one of your nipples.

He massaged your breast while he sucked and swirled his tongue, his free hand rubbing a thumb across your other nipple, balancing out the attention. You leaned back on your hands, gasping when he switched sides, when he moaned with your flesh in his mouth.

Then you pulled at his arms, needing to feel more of him. You agreed to his breathy, “bed,” and kissed your way across his shoulder and neck while he carried you across the room.

Your long lost friend crawled onto the bed on his knees to lay you down gently against the pillows, and you couldn’t take another second of waiting.

Finally, he let you tear at his jeans, falling forward to cage you in while you reached into the stiff fabric. Taking his cock in your hand for the first time, even still constrained in his tight pants, made your mind go blank with need. The veins pulsing beneath your fingers sent your body bucking beneath his.

“Wait,” you pleaded, pathetic noises leaving your throat as he moved away. But his movement just brought his lips down your skin again, until his darkened eyes looked up at you from between your legs, his fingers dancing at the waistband of your pants.

“Yes,” you ordered before he could ask.

Running your fingers along your inner thighs, you lost yourself in the way he looked at you. Law’s eyes devoured every bare inch of your skin, the wet aching center of you just waiting for him to take you.

“Please,” you begged again.

He let out a sound that might have been a growl, but it was lost when he plunged his face into your folds. You cried out his name, reaching for his fingers that had wrapped around your hips, then tugged at the strands of his hair again, clinging while he ate at you.

The sensations were overwhelming, his hungry tongue, his facial hair teasing at your skin, the whimpers and whines he sent vibrating into that sensitive piece of you. His little sounds got louder each time you pulled at his hair, as you tried to draw him up toward you.

Law drank you in like you were the last bit of water left on the planet. Kissing, and sucking, and plunging deep, his eyes burned hot while he watched you.

“You taste so fucking good,” he slurred, messy face coming up for air for just a second. He thrust against the mattress, his jeans undone, but still restricting him while he writhed.

Tugging at his hair wasn’t enough, now you were reaching further. You scratched at his shoulders, your fingers dragging across his skin as you fought to pull him up. He just moaned at the contact, bringing his own fingers to push inside you, curling gently while he sucked your clit.

Your back arched for him, but your breathing turned to chaos. The word, “please,” filled the air, but your voice was broken, almost panicked.

“I’m so sorry, are you alright,” he pulled away, wiping his face before he moved out from between your legs. He touched your cheek with his fingertips, sitting beside you as his soothing voice surrounded you.

“You’re safe, it’s okay. What do you need– whoa!”

His pants had to come off. You needed to make him feel good. The need was so intense, so vital, you didn’t think you could breathe until you felt his pleasure.

“Fuck me, please.”

“But you–”

You interrupted his counter, sitting up to kiss his still wet face.

“Please, Law. I’m telling you what I want,” you pleaded, your hands playing dangerously close along his stomach, but waiting for permission. “I want this. I want you.”

“Promise me you’ll tell me to stop if you–”

“I promise.”

He stared for a long moment, and you almost sobbed for him, aching for him now. When he crawled off the bed to strip, you forgot everything else. Those gorgeous tattoos added to the work of art that was his lean, sculpted body. The sight of his thick cock springing free from those tight pants, already so swollen and dripping for you, had you twisting in his sheets.

“Law, need you…”

“I need you too, Y/N,” he rasped, crawling up your body again. He scanned your face, bringing the hard length of him to slide along your core, arching your back while he drenched himself in you. “So wet…”

Another delicate kiss left the taste of both of you on your tongue before his eyes drank you in. A small, impatient whine started to form in your throat, but the slow stretch of his leaking cock took your breath away.

“You feel incredible,” he sighed while you pulled him closer. His lips traced down your jaw, under your ear, letting you hear his soft, eager moans as he filled you. You could feel every vein throbbing as his shaft dragged through you, until there was nowhere left to fill.

He stayed for a second too long, fully hilted within you, but your demanding body took over.

Law moaned, bracing himself on an arm to keep from falling onto you. Your hips were driving up to meet his, fucking onto him while you panted, starved for him.

“Gods, you’re perfect.”

His praise was joined by deep, rolling thrusts that sent your eyes fluttering white. Still writhing beneath him, you gasped when his lips found yours again, one of his hands stroking your hair.

“How does this feel, baby?”

He started to ask more, his voice rough as he checked in, but you couldn’t help but laugh. He started to slow, but you clawed at him.

“So good,” you grinned, fighting to hold in another giggle. “You feel so good, sweetie pie.”

Law’s face, heavy with a mix of heat and concern jerked a bit, his eyes narrowing on you as his lips twitched.

“What’s that now,” he dared, shoving into you just a bit faster while you choked on gasping laughs.

“You’re supposed to be,” you paused, overwhelmed by the feel of him, “so scary. But you’re just a sweetie–”

He shut you up with his tongue down your throat, his fingers fisting into your hair, but not hard enough. Breaking off the kiss, he flashed you that wicked smile, meeting your challenge to prove you wrong.

Your frenzied screams filled the room, but his blown out eyes never left your face, watching your every movement. Still so sweet while he hammered his cock into you. Emotion started to hit, and you didn’t want him to notice and stop. It just felt like a dream, being here with him. Any moment you would wake up to silk sheets, and invisible strings.

Gratitude flooded you, even as your body hit a plateau.

“I need you,” you begged, watching him start to lose that control he clings to. “Law, need to feel you come, plea–”

His thumb carved with the letter, “D,” found your clit, and you clenched your muscles while you screamed for him. You thrashed, letting your legs shake around his hips, and his thrusts stuttered, still so hard and deep as he moaned your name.

He kissed you while he came, and you melted, your body swallowing him in. You wanted him to fill you forever, the hot spill of his pleasure more precious than anything you’d ever held.

Your bodies stayed entwined, breathing into each other as you fought the pressure in your eyes. It felt like ages, yet still not long enough, when he threatened to pull away, leaving a beautiful whisper against your cheek before he moved.

“I missed you, Y/N.”

“Missed you too, sweetie pie,” you teased. You let your body drift into the air, a cloud of delicate water floating above the bed. Ethereal giggles left your form when Law grunted, the lower half of his body falling to the mattress without yours to rest inside.

“Oh, I’m gonna get you for that,” he growled, rolling onto his back to look up at your hovering mist.

“Not if I get you first,” you threatened with a kiss. You’d gone solid, straddling him, and giggling into his mouth when he dug fingers into your thighs. His low, dangerous chuckle made you shiver, gasping when he touched your face, rubbing his thumb across your lips.

“You already got me,” Law teased, his eyes still dark as they poured over you. “Now it’s my turn to make you come.”

Likes, comments, and reblogs bring me much ✨dopamine✨ thank you so much!

a/n: Thank you for reading! I felt bad for all the smutty stop and go's, but I hope you don't mind. Trauma takes time, and healing isn't a linear path, but that doesn't mean that pleasure is out of the question. Patience, and a caring partner can make all the difference. I hope that none of you relate, but if you do, you're not alone. 🖤

Tag List: @shewrites02 | @jadeddangel | @nothing-but-brass

Part 5

Operation Olive Branch has compiled a working spreadsheet of ways to help families fleeing from the genocide in Palestine. If you enjoyed this fic, and are able, please click the link to find a list of GoFundMe's, as well as other ways to help.

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alazystranger · 2 months

Note

zolu fic recommendations? (i can take reading angst now)

Ooh, this is going to be bit of a long post. i have tried to include a mix of both angsty and otherwise.

*cracks knuckles* alright let's get down to it! I have included the summaries as given by the authors below the link.

let thy sword be thy tongue by queerweather. A personal favorite! I go back to this one a lot.

Hindsight is twenty-twenty, and Zoro is not afraid of Luffy handling his swords; Zoro is afraid of how Luffy handling his swords might unravel him.

Love you by willoffire123. Both angsty and sweet! Kind of like my comfort fic

When Luffy goes overboard one night during a winter storm, Zoro dives after him and the two are separated from their ship. Stranded on a winter island, slowly freezing to death, Luffy and Zoro come to realize their long dormant feelings for each other. Can they say their love in two words or less? Or will the winter island take their lives before they get the chance?

Loyal Till Death Do Us Part by StygianHeart. You said you can take angst now, anon? *cackles maniacally* this one has it all- whump luffy, traumatized zoro and what not. It has 13 chapters and it's absolutely worth it

Roronoa Zoro knows he’s loyal to a fault. And maybe that loyalty is only for his Captain and Crew. But realizing his loyalty for Luffy is also something more, something more personal and emotional, was not what Zoro wanted. And he definitely didn’t want the voices in his head to get so loud. But hey, we never get what we want, do we? In which Zoro figures out he’s in love with his captain and is in great denial, all while struggling through emotional repression and a bunch of shit he doesn’t deserve. Go figures.

running just to keep my hands on you by nevermordor. another fic i love to read again and again.

The thing they do is kind of like a game, because Luffy likes games, but it’s also kind of a competition because Zoro can’t not turn anything and everything into a competition. It doesn’t have a name and there are only two rules, because more than two would just be making things boring and overcomplicated. 1. Whoever takes out the most guys in a fight is the winner 2. Whoever is the loser has to do whatever the winner says “Why’s it gotta be a whole game and stuff," Luffy says. "That’s gonna take too long.” “It makes sex more fun," Zoro explains. "You gotta win it, you gotta earn it. Like anything good in life. Like pirate king or greatest swordsman.” Luffy considers this.

A gamble on love by SnailorBee. short and fluffy. had me grinning like an idiot. perfect fic to recover from the angsty ones.

Pre-Time Skip! "We have a bet amongst the crew, minus Chopper. You want in?" "A bet?" Brook repeated, mystified. "About what?" "If those two idiots are dating or not." Nami jerked her chin in the direction of the nap pile behind him. Strawhats and their bets about Luffy and Zoro.

To cut your teeth on love by freckledshoulderblades. basically a series of snippets from their first meeting to just after timeskip but full of zolu feels.

Zoro meets Luffy and gives himself over wholeheartedly the instant Wadō is placed between his teeth again. Luffy meets Zoro and decides in a heartbeat that Zoro is his.

poly philtatos(the most loved by far) by swordsmans. another personal favorite!

He keeps moving forward at a steady pace, resisting the urge to run because how fucking embarrassing would that be, running because he missed them, and as he breaks through the treeline he shouts, “Oi, oi—what took you guys so long? It's been—” And then he freezes, because yes, actually—something is very, very wrong. The Sunny is anchored just off shore, close enough to see the deck but far enough away that the crew has had to take the Mini Merry to make land. Scattered across the beach in various stages of chaos—rolling around, yelling, fighting—are his crew but not his crew, so similar and yet so, so different. They look younger, fresher, and whatthefuck there, on the deck of the Sunny just peering over the railing, he catches a flash of green—his own green hair— “Ah, fuck,” he grunts, and then immediately turns back around because no, actually, he does not want to deal with this.

These are a few of my picks. if you want more/shorter fics/if you were looking for something else, don't hesitate to send me another ask!

#zolu fic recs #zolu fanfic #these fics are really so precious to me it's insane #my second ask yay #zolu

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rkiveinmarvel · 2 months

Text

pasilyo. - black leg sanji (18+) des. fluff-angst-fluff. you and sanji's relationship is bound for a heavy turn. notes. pre and post-timeskip, mentions of wci and wano island, f!reader is related to zoro, heavily referenced marry my husband (kdrama) at the end. smut (if you squint--minors go away, pls). small mentions of violence. the straw hats shenanigans pt 99999, i miss sanji 24/7.

hello ppl! 'tis i. i just finished my midterms so, here you go. I heavily referenced a scene in marry my husband on this one like the moment I saw the scene i immediately went--what if we make it as sanji--then bam, here it is. the story contains smut (if you squint) and it's my first time writing one, so yeah. enjoy!

Pasilyo is a Filipino term that means corridor or passageway. -- it is also a popular song in the Philippines: PASILYO - SUNKISSED LOLA

w.c: 1.7k

You and Sanji never had anything in common. He likes to smoke, you like to drink tea–he loves to cook, you love to eat, he uses his legs and feet to fight–you use your hand. You and him never had anything in common, yet the way you called his name–send shivers on his back, the way he calls your name calms the storm in your mind—yet despite the differences and in the deep sea of all blue—you and him have something in common.

The day you met him at Baratie, it gave away that Sanji wears his heart on his sleeves–the way his eyes lingered at the table where you and Nami sat, the way his hands ghostly shadows your plate as he served the food–he was mesmerising and breath-taking. As he continues to unravel everything about him, he fits perfectly as the cook of the crew. With him being the best cook in the East Blue, it’s not doubt that the future pirate-king needs someone like him in his crew, it’s not doubt that a pirate demon hunter finds the blonde’s cooking amazing, it’s no doubt that the certain liar of the crew praises his cook, it’s no doubt that the great navigator finds his cooking remarkable—and there’s you, it’s funny, how you kept quiet when he waits for your reaction–hell, everyone’s waiting for your reaction, as you gave him a small nod and a laugh.

He wore your laugh in his mind—wishing he could make you laugh every time he cooks. As the days passed by like the straw-hats voyage in the sky, land, and sea; he would notice himself looking for your presence–yes, he falls for every woman he sees, but something about you is pulling him in, that despite him making Nami and Robin smile, he yearns for yours, he wished he can see yours.

He watched in the deck as you spar with the green haired swordsman, how he chuckles to himself that you’re making Zoro sweat and thrive hard yet a part of him was mad that you’re spending time with the marimo and not him. But a part of him is quite warm as he saw you dance in the presence of the crew, that none of them knows that in the middle of the night–you told him stories he never heard off, he made you tea you never knew existed. That side of yours–he’s thankful, he’s the only person who can see it.

So, it surprised him, when he saw your eyes fill with relief when you saw him again at the edge of Skypiea, at Enies Lobby, at Thriller bark. It baffled him, when he saw you looked like you’re about to cry as you saw him–damn, if only he knew who gave you the wound in your head, lips, and arms, he would’ve kicked everyone, including Zoro. But it washed away, when you were alone with him on those nights–as you mutter that you’re thankful he’s okay. That you both are alright.

With all the fights and wars the crew had faced–the thing that scared Sanji and you the most, was the time when the crew didn’t see each other for two years–he wondered if you have eaten yet, wondered if you sleep okay, and wondered if you would still be the same the next time he sees you; you wondered is he’s doing okay, you wondered if he ever muttered your name, and you wondered if he still remembers the way you like your tea.

–

“You’ve grown taller…” You whispered as you saw each other again after two-years, with a nosebleed, he chuckled. “I did.”

He loved that he’s back, you’re back. As the night deepens, you’re there with him again.

“How was it?”

“Hm?”

“Two years.”

“I don’t know, it’s great that I got stronger but it sucked.”

“Why does it sucked.”

“You weren’t there, Sanji.”

“Oh.” He swore to his dickhead dad, he died right there. You chuckled as his red cheeks reached his ears, as he grins deeply. But before he can say anything in your words–he felt your lips on his as you leaned on the counter as he prepared your tea.

He felt the cup become warm as he stopped pouring your tea. You’re about to pull away as you want to drink your tea–the cook leaned closer, he missed you and he had you, you smiled in his kiss. As you two pulled away for air; he chuckled loudly. “Wipe that stupid grin and nosebleed on your face, curly brows.” You teased as you took the cup and drank your tea.

That night changed everything, the crew didn’t missed the way he treats you differently the way he treats Robin and Nami, the way he would sit closer to you while enjoying the bliss of sunset in the ship–how he would not let Brook, Franky, and Usopp stare at you for too long. He hates how you still choose Zoro to spar with—

“You know we’re related, right?”

“You and marimo?!”

God, he missed that.

—

But—his heart breaks as remembers how he stood there in aisle at whole-cake island, he hated it–how your eyes breaks the moment he sees you again: how his heart breaks when he hears you sobbing in his chest when he came back–how you slapped him across his face when you found out that he let Luffy starve–how his chest tightens when you pulled him into a kiss: the deepest kiss you gave him.

As your soft breaths reach his lips–he knew you thought you almost lost him. In the room where it’s just the two of you, his clothes were on the floor and so was yours. As you mutter his name as if he was a saint sent only for you. How his hands marks and caress every part of you as you kiss every inch of him as you memorise everything in his body. You kissed him again, again, and again–how you wish you would still taste him as you close your eyes.

You looked beautiful as he stared down at you, he felt tears as he placed his hand on your cheeks yet you muttered that you love him under your breath, he blamed himself as you cried in this sacred moment, he wanted to stop and hold you but–you want him.

“Please…’Ji..” You muttered again as he moved with your body in sync, at that moment, his breath got rigged, your breaths were catching themselves, his hands were holding your hand tight, as you felt the heat of the room. He whispered a praise or somewhat a prayer to you.

“I love you too.” He chuckled as he ghostly kissed your neck as you nodded softly. You left some kisses on the crown of his head as he collapsed into you. As your hand dances in his golden hair–he continues to utter his apologies to you in which you forgive him.

—

Things turned differently after that time–after the whole-cake island–and fighting side-by-side in Wano. You felt the sunlight enter the room as your eyes fluttered, you saw Sanji’s sleeping state. With a smile on your face, you listen to his heartbeat as he sleeps, while looking at yours and his intertwined bodies inside the blanket–as the events of last night lingered when you saw your hand marks on his chest.

“Mon amour, what’s wrong?”

You placed your chin on his chest. “Nothing. We won.” He smiled sheepishly and nodded as he gave you a morning kiss. “We won.” He nodded once again. You two laid there for a while as you heard Franky cheering that Zoro and Luffy are awake–with a cheer, the entire city of Wano threw the biggest banquet there is–cheers, beers, and food are present everywhere.

A swamp of girls fell into Sanji’s arms–his eyes lingered to yours. He chuckled as you just raised your cup and gave him a flying kiss. In which, he melted into. As the night dips deeper in the moon, he notices that you and Franky are guiding back the drunk ass of Zoro and Usopp in their room, with a smile, he stole you from Franky.

When he stole you—he walked with you in the forest of Wano as lights of fireflies guided the two of you. You two enjoyed the presence of each other in silence.

“What’s with the stare?”

“Nothing. You just look pretty, my love.”

“Me? I look like a mess, Usopp was holding dearly for his life on my shoulder as we walked him and Zoro.” you rubbed your temples. In which he chuckled.

As you two sat down and found a nice view of Wano–you leaned your head into his shoulder. “I’m glad we’re fine. You and I, and the crew.” You admitted. In which, he just hummed. As he ghostly kiss, your hand.

“Zoro told me what you told him to do…” There’s a hint of disappointment in your voice. In which, he was about to speak but you cut him off. “If you still think you’re going to lose your mind—just know I’ll pull you back and please, don’t wish for death.”

In your words, he finds himself not being able to breathe. He just nodded. “I finally found my family in the sea, ‘Ji, and you’re part of them–so, don’t think you’ll get rid of me that easily…” He enjoyed you being like this, being able to take the words out of his mouth.

“I don’t plan to, darling.” He kissed your head and held your hand tightly.

“We should get married.” You responded as you turned to look at him. With a smile, you were surprised when you heard him sigh in disappointment—”What?” it left you confused, he pushed you off him.

“You’re unbelievable.” He uttered as he stood up and walked away. You were confused and on the brink of tears. “It doesn’t need to be now! I mean I want to marry you–just—did he hit his head so much?” You asked yourself, as you sigh in defeat and a pout.

You were surprised to see him walking back towards you with a small flower in his hand. “You always surprise me…” He said as gave the small flower to you.

“You can do anything to me–whatever you want.” You stood up and stared at him as he knelt down on one knee.

“Just don’t ask for marriage–that’s my queue. So, mon amour…”

You felt tears stinging yours and his eyes.

“Will you marry me?”

— FIN

i am having a hard time if i should post angsty luffy or not huhu

⚘ masterlist 1 | 2 | 3

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rainykoo · 1 year

Text

Pearly Whites

masterpost

▎wc: 1.2k

pairing: monkey d. luffy x (GN)Reader

summary : in-which reader can’t help but find luffy’s presence and pearly whites more than endearing, especially after a bad day.

‎ ‎ ‎

warnings : slight angst, hurt to comfort(?), fluff, strawhat!reader, post-timeskip luffy, kissing, crying, reader can’t seem to sleep, mentions of anxiety, stress, luffy has a knack for making everything better, brief mention of injuries, use of profanity, luffy smells like cinnamon and reader wants to eat him (non literal its more so an affectionate urge to just.. nom)

‎

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎

you didn’t quite know what led up to this as you were sat on your bed, hands in your hair feeling the lump in your throat grow larger. everything felt so overwhelming lately. maybe all this exhaustion had strum off from too many nights keeping watch over the sunny, or from the constant struggle of attempting to keep the pit of worry that formed in your stomach under control when escorting one of your injury ridden crewmates down to choppers office after a battle.

nevertheless whatever the reasons, you were feeling awful today, and the final straw was when you spilled hot coffee over the book robin so kindly lent to you. it was a simple mistake, yet it made you feel so incompetent. “fuck” you heaved out silently, tugging on a loc of hair as the tears threatened to spill. though you had already cleaned up and attempted to dry the pages off, it was still evident from the light brownish color on the now wrinkled paper. “air, yes i just need air..” you thought to yourself, arising from the bed and slowly pushing open the door of your room. you were creeping out of your quarters ever so careful to not make noise for the snoring strawhats who weren’t ridden with insomnia, headed into the open deck on the sunny attempting to take enough oxygen needed to help clear your head.

staring into the vast ocean and watching as the water shone under the stars had always worked when in momentary distress. but for some reason tonight, the sinking feeling that had plagued you refused to leave so easily. you wanted to sink down and cry, but you couldnt. the tears you once held back now refuse to resurface. it angered you, not being able to even cry when you wanted to. as you spun to face the opposite way deciding to head back to your bed, you met the eyes of a sleepy looking luffy in shorts and a black tee.

“hey (name)!!! why aren’t you sleeping??” your boyfriend prodded, his voice slightly too loud and cheerful for the silence of the night. you gave the dark haired boy a light smile, admiring his features thanks to the slight gleam from the sky perfectly shining down on his face. “im just not quite sleepy enough, lu” you lazily replied, turning your attention back at the stars. luffys gaze followed you, approaching slowly from behind so you could be beside eachother. he hummed in response to your words, trying to find what was so interesting about the sky to you.

though he quickly grew bored of boring his eyes into the stars, instead of rambling to you about his thoughts or midnight snacking like what would usually occur when you happened to find your captain awake, luffy turned to look at you, studying your expression. even though you’re not quite the chatty type, you’re not one to keep absolute silence. especially not with luffy. so when he saw how your eyebrows were furrowed, and the way your lips carried a small frown he spoke up again.

“love?” luffy whispered. “do you need a hug?” you gave him a small “huh..?” , not understanding why he had suddenly asked you and not daring to make eye contact. the emotions which bubbled up throughout the day threatened to spill out once more. “c’mere” he spoke in a warm tone, stretching his arms around you and pulling you in. luffy’s head rested on your shoulder, his hands gently stroked your back a couple of times. the enchanting scent of cinnamon coming from him made you weak. he smelt so good, he felt so soft around you. you didn’t want to let go, and neither did he. so you stayed in that position for a good minute, enjoying eachothers warm shelter from the breeze that danced on your skin. you could feel his heart beating, yours was too. so rapidly that if it wasn’t for luffy puling away, your heart may have over palpitated. though the relief was short-lived. he giggled after breaking the hug showing you a glimpse of his signature pearly whites. those gorgeous teeth that twinkle brighter than the stars.

it seemed that was all you needed and more to finally let the tears spill over. luffy stopped smiling when he noticed your wet face. “hey…... hey it’s okay.” he pulled you in once more slightly swaying you from side to side. luffy didn’t know what to do, he was slightly panicked when you started sobbing a little harder in his embrace. so out of instinct he pecks your forehead not once but twice, then a third time. however many times was needed to take away your sadness. “(name), whatever's wrong just know im here for ya okay? im always here.” you were already out of the gutter thanks to the way he whispered into your ear and snuggled his head into the crook of your neck, gripping onto you tightly to let you know he was there for you as you sobbed. you didn’t have the chance to tell him the exact reasons you were feeling so upset, as you didn’t really know why as well, but it didn’t matter, luffy listened patiently as you went on about how exhausting things felt, and how you were having difficulty with simple daily tasks. hours could’ve went by while you were in his arms and you would never notice. you felt safe, mumbling a “thank you” and wrapping your hands around his torso. luffy was confused. he couldn’t understand why you had thanked him despite doing so little. he accepted your gratitude anyways, looking into your eyes and grinning.

maybe it was because of the moon glistening so angelically onto his face or the gentle but crisp sound of waves in the background that made his smile, him, ever so prettier tonight. you couldn’t put your finger on why you felt more lightheaded than usual as he slid one arm away from your middle, taking your hand in his, but you didn’t care. you didn’t care when you both seemed to be inching closer together, and definitely you didn’t care when the urge to kiss overpowered the both of you.

it was airy, messy and eager. teeth clashing onto one another as you both smiled and giggled into the exchange. trying to mush yourselves closer together. it confessed a lifetime of words you have yet to express out loud. luffy whined when you tugged on his hair, deepening your kiss. if i weren’t for human urge to inhale and exhale, luffy would’ve kissed you forever.

“can i just eat you?” you mumbled without hesitating. luffy tilted his head in thought, but only for a moment as he still kept your gaze.

“not if i eat you first!” he laughed attacking your neck with little nibbles. you pinched his rubbery cheek, signalling him to stop before you guys wake someone up. luffy somehow always knew how to comfort you, even if he was unaware of doing so.

“i love you.” he breathed out, his doe eyes giving you those familiar butterflies you always felt. you smiled at him, and he graced you with his own once more. “i love you and your pearly whites too.” you replied, a blush creeping up on luffy’s face.

“i’ll always smile for you then.”

this is just a random oneshot however, if you have any suggestions for a potential part two simply ask and you shall (hopefully) receive. -rain

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jisunghannie · 5 months

Text

Healthy and Happy

PAIRING: Bangchan x fem!reader

WARNINGS: Told from mainly Chan's point of view, memory lost (amnesia), angst to fluff, Chan calling reader jagi/jagiya

SUMMARY: You and Chan were trying to get to the car but you guys ended up getting into a bad accident. He recovered quickly but you, you were still in a coma. One day you woke up but not everything was the same.

WORD COUNT: 1,753

A/N:

.°•○>><<○•°. = POV switch

.°• ✿ •°. = Flashback/Present time

`○°.• ✿ •.°○` = Timeskip

-ssi is used to describe someone older (Maknaes, Changbin, and Hyunjin use this to address you!)

-ah is used to describe someone younger (Lee Know uses this to address you!)

unnie is older sister in Korean for females (You use this to address your sister!)

This is a little shorter than my usual posts but hopefully this was good for a happy ending!

As Chan cried and prayed for you to come back. Your sister laid asleep holding your hand. Chan felt so weak knowing he couldn't do anything. But he wanted to do something, anything if it meant-

Bzz, brr, bzzt

His phone was ringing. He looked at his phone, realizing it was from Jisung. He picked up. "Yes Han?" He asked. "Hey Chan, we need you here to revise the lyrics of a song for the album. I know you're busy-" He was cut off by Chan, "No, no! I can come." He said as Han sighed and quickly thanked him as he ended the call.

Chan looked at you, sleeping, he then kissed your hand as he left.

When he got to JYP Entertainment he saw his members all reading out the lyrics and he walked over to help them out.

He then came to see you less and less as work became busier and busier. He was stressed but he didn't know what else to do. He felt so hopeless for the past 2 weeks.

As he was practicing a new choreo with his members, he got a call. From the hospital. He picked it up immediately. "Hello?" He asked as they had a monotonous tone, "Hello. Is this Bang Christopher Chan?" They asked, "Yes, this is he." He replied back as they sighed a sigh of relief. "We have amazing news for you, l/n y/n has woken up from her coma." They said as he felt his world light up. He began to tear up and sobbed. "Okay.. I'm coming now.." He said, his voice breaking as he hung up. His members looked confused. When he dropped to the floor and cried they all ran over to comfort him.

"Y/n is up..." He said as everyone made a surprised noise and then cheered as Chan sighed. Feeling his chest become lighter. Minho stood up helping Chan up, "Shall we go see her?" He asked as Chan took his hand, "See her, we shall." He said as everyone laughed at their corny ask and answer.

The whole group walked into the hospital, in the room as they saw you talking to your sister. Your sister looked so sad. Even more sad than when you were in a coma.

"What's wrong Sooyun-ah?" Chan asked as you turned to look at Chan. "You have a handsome boyfriend unnie." You said as your sister shook her head. "That's your boyfriend, Chan!" She told you as Chan looked at you confused. "Please, he's so not my type." You told her as he had a sense of deja vu in high school.

.°• ✿ •°.

"Who him? Please, he's so not my type." You said as you giggled.

It was the same giggle that Chan had fallen in love with.

.°• ✿ •°.

"Don't tell me..." Chan said as Sooyun nodded. He took a deep breath. The weight that previously lifted had returned as he left the hospital room. His members, following after him.

He didn't understand. After you woke up, you had amnesia? Why, though? Why and how did you get amnesia? He was hurt that he grabbed onto the wall. He sobbed and cried silently as his members helped him stand up straight.

"It's okay Chan.." Hyunjin said as Chan shook his head. "I don't want to believe it... I don't want to accept that she has amnesia." He choked on his words as Changbin hugged him. "It's okay... the bond you guys have is strong, she'll turn around. Trust me." He told Chan as Chan cried and hugged Changbin even tighter.

The next day he came to visit with your favorite flowers.

"These are my favorites. How did you know? Did Sooyun tell you?" You asked as he shook his head, "I'm not Sooyun's boyfriend." He told you. You reached out and cupped his face, "Your eyes look so puffy, sit down, why do look so sad mister?" You asked as Chan sat. 'If only you knew the reason...' Chan thought, "It's nothing, really." He told you, but you didn't believe him. However, not wanting to stress him out you pretended to. "Okay then, what's your name mister? You look familiar." You said as he chuckled, "I'm a senior at your school, well, at our old high school." He said as you nodded, "I still need a name." You prodded as he chuckled again, "Bang Christopher Chan, but you can call me Chan or Channie." He told you as you smiled, "Channie it is." You said as he smiled. Your smile always cheered him up. No matter how bad his day was.

Over time, you were able to be discharged. Chan took you to your shared home. It was clean, and he made sure to take down and put away any pictures of you two together as he was warned that any quick reminders of the memories you had lost could send you into shock.

"Your house is nice." You told him as he smiled. "Thank you." He told you as he sat down on the couch. You sat next to him as he turned on the tv to watch your favorite show. "I don't get it Channie, are you a stalker? You know everything about me." You said, as he let out a laugh. "No, just, had a feeling." He said as you blushed. "I see..." You replied, playing with your hair.

It was one of your bashful habits that Chan had picked up on in high school that followed you up to adulthood. He smiled as he tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. "You look so pretty with the sun hitting your face like this." He complimented as you pushed his face away. "Stop ogling me!" You shouted shyly as he laughed.

`○°.• ✿ •.°○`

It had been 7 months and he noticed you were slowly regaining your memories. Enough to remember that he was an idol, all the members names, and even why you were in a coma. But not that you two were dating. He didn't want to pressure you so he was willing to be on this painfully long journey with you. Every step of the way.

"Channie! I swear! If you keep looking at me with those eyes I'm going to pluck them out!" She shouted bashfully as he chuckled. "Sorry jagi." He slipped out as he covered his mouth. You looked at him embarrassed and chased him. "Channie you little!" You said your face red as Chan laughed and ran away from you.

The memories you two had made were precious to him. While you thought that it was only 7 months of your life that you had known Chan, Chan knew that it was truly almost 10 years. He was happy to know that he still gets to be with you.

One day, when you guys had gone out, you saw a kid that had gotten lost, and Chan ran over to him and offered to play with him. He smiled and nodded his head, and with that, Chan picked him up and spun him around. Once his parents saw Chan playing with him, he went with his parents as he walked back around the park with you.

"Reminds me of when you had played with that little girl and she found you scary so she ran to me." You told him as Chan looked at you confused. "The last time I played with a kid in the park was in highschool." Chan told you.

.°• ✿ •°.

"Awh, you lost your mommy? I can help you find her or we can play a game and wait until she comes back." Chan told her as she screamed and ran behind you. "You're scary mister..!" She shouted as you bursted out laughing as Chan looked dejected. "He looks scary but he's not that bad!" You told her as her mother came to grab her as she thanked you both.

After he took your hand and held it. "One day, after high school, I'll marry you and we'll have a little one running around too." Chan told you as you pushed his face away. "Oh please, that's the last thing I want." You told him as he squeezed your hand lightly. "Sure, one day you'll be begging me to marry you. You'll say, 'Chan, it's been more than 8 years since you promised me you'll marry me.'" He teased as you pushed his face away. "Be quiet you cheeky boy!" You told him as he smiled.

.°• ✿ •°.

"Y/nnie, you okay?" He asked as you noticed that you had one of your hands holding his arm and the other holding your head. Your head was pounding. "It's fine, I'm fine, just remembered something. That's all. Something about a wedding promise..." You told him briefly as he looked sad. You felt bad for making him look so concerned and worried that you held his hands. "I'm okay, really Channie..." You reassured him as he smiled, "Okay..." He said squeezing your hand lightly. The squeeze brings a sort of comfort to you.

"You always look so sad Channie... why is that?" You asked him as he sighed, "You'll find out along the way." He told you as you nodded.

`○°.• ✿ •.°○`

It had been 5 years. You guys started dating in your second year of getting to know each other. He wished for the memories to come back so he could just hold you close and kiss you with all the memories behind you guys.

When he came home he saw you crying on the floor. "Jagiya..!" He said dropping his bags and running over to you as you hugging a picture frame. In front of you was a box, the same box that-

"I remember Channie.." You said as he looked at you confused. "Remember what..?" He asked, holding your hands as the photo frame revealed, a photo of you guys together during your graduation.

"I remember everything..." You told him as you hugged him. "Thank you for not giving up on me..." You told him through your sobs and cries as he smiled, happy tears rolling down his face. "Oh jagi..." He said, kissing your tears away. You giggled and hugged him again.

"I would've waited until the next lifetime to find you again. I only want you to be my soulmate. No matter how different you look, behave, or treat me, I wouldn't want anyone but you jagiya..." Chan said as you smiled and hugged him, knowing that he really has been through your side for everything.

@staysincecb97

#skz #skz x reader #skz fanfic #skz imagines #stray kids #skz angst #skz bang chan #skz fluff #christopher bang chan #bangchan x reader #bangchan imagines #christopher bang #bang chan #stray kids bang chan #stray kids chan imagines #stray kids channie #stray kids chris #stray kids chan fluff

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psychedelic-ink · 11 months

Text

𝐒𝐩𝐢𝐭𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐞

pairing: joel miller x tess servopoulos

genre: smut, romance, angst, hurt comfort, minors dni

word count: 9.4k

summary: To put it simply, Tess did not want to exist but did so anyway. She stared blankly at everyone and everything. Her mind and heart urged her to make the smart choices. She was quick to eliminate the possibilities that might cause her death. She assessed the weak links of the group. Stayed clear away from them.

Smart choices. She blamed that part of herself for wanting to approach the Millers.

Or alternatively, the story of how Joel and Tess met and how they came to be.

warnings: canon typical violence, suicidal thoughts, mention of past suicide attempt, grief, loneliness, mild spoilers for the HBO show/podcast, timeskips, joel has a bit of a pain kink, piv, marking, biting, hair pulling, dirty talking, oral sex (female receiving), blood, wound cleaning, mention of body hair, dissociating for both

a/n: yes I changed the title from "the seed" to "spitfire" due to a specific scene that wasn't yet written (or even an idea in my brain) when I posted the sneak peek. I've been in love with these two ever since I watched the gameplay and my love only grew with the show. writing this was definitely out of my comfort zone but I enjoyed it and hope you guys will enjoy reading it 💜

Tess was alone. Her loneliness burned through her skin, hallowed out her eyes, and drew deep lines across her face. She was so very tired. Every muscle ached. Even her heart. She didn’t want to cry about it. Early on she figured that the wetness of her eyes meant nothing to this new world. It didn’t gather sympathy. Only made her into a mark. Once she saw her reflection in the water. Before she was made a part of the group. It made her feel sick to her core. Everything was just so meaningless. It didn’t suit her to show that weakness. It wasn’t worth the strain on the muscles of her face or the ache in her heart.

The group found her. There was an issue if she was worth it or not, but thank god for her wits and unyielding tongue, she was made part of it quite quickly. They were heading to Boston.

She didn’t bother with learning their names. They all did despicable things in the name of survival. Horrid things. Things that gave her nightmares and forced her eyes to open at night. She would wake up drenched in sweat, her heart racing as she looked up at the stars. The stars she remembered gazing upon with her family. A husband. A son. All gone. She closed her eyes in a weak attempt to shut down her mind. But of course that didn’t work. It never did. In fact, she was quite sure it did the opposite. Memories would come rushing back. The moment she held him for the first time in her shaking arms. The moment she left him locked inside his room. Condemning him to live out the infection alone.

She could still hear the banging of the door sometimes.

A month later a pair of brothers joined them. Joel and Tommy Miller. Tommy did most of the talking, convincing them that they would be a helpful addition. The other one—the older one, Tess guessed, was not as keen. Clearly joining just to be near his brother. They were quick on the trigger which was enough for them to be included. Tess had no intention of befriending them. Or anyone else for that matter. But Joel. . . she could see some use that could come out of him. She could see a pain similar to hers. Something that ate him from the inside out. His gaze only softened when he thought no one could see, and only when he was staring at his brother. It would usually be something mundane. Either Tommy would be cleaning out his rifle or putting on his shoes. In those times Joel’s eyes became soft, dark grief blurring the lines of the color.

The group dwindled. Most of them died, one by one. Leaving only a handful of them. Tess didn’t know why but she had this insufferable instinct to stay alive. She didn’t understand it. Before the outbreak she never fancied herself being a person who contemplated the meaning of life. She just lived. She had a job, a husband, a cute son. That was meant to be her meaning, wasn’t it? During the night when darkness stretched out and drowned out the shine of the stars, she found herself thinking about it a lot. Tess knew she didn’t want to live. It was suffering. Hell on earth. It was meaningless. Why was she here when so many others weren’t? Tess scoffed when people mentioned divine punishment. It was stupid. She might be a shit person now, and hell, maybe she did deserve to be punished for the things she did and was going to do. But during the brief period when she was wandering alone, she met some good people. Not a lot. However, she would spit in the face of a god who had decided those handful of people should be punished with the rest of them.

To put it simply, Tess did not want to exist but did so anyway. She stared blankly at everyone and everything. Her mind and heart urged her to make the smart choices. She was quick to eliminate the possibilities that might cause her death. She assessed the weak links of the group. Stayed clear away from them.

Smart choices. She blamed that part of herself for wanting to approach the Millers. A simple exchange for her smarts for their muscle. Tess never had this need to group up with anyone specific in their little crew before. No one had really spiked her interest. Neither Tommy nor Joel seemed like the brightest bulbs in the box but, she had to admit, they had a hell of a way to survive. Tess wasn’t strong. Sure, she aimed right and could stab someone in the neck, but those talents didn’t necessarily mean that she was strong where it counted. Granted, her biggest weapon was manipulation. She hardly found regret when she tricked someone. Why should she? Nothing mattered.

She observed the brothers. Joel was a lost cause and Tess was pretty sure the older brother hadn’t uttered a word to any of them since he joined. His hardened gaze was enough to make anyone cower in fear and stay away. Tommy on the other hand. . . he was approachable. Tess could see that whatever had broken Joel hadn’t had the same effect on his brother. Tommy talked to her sometimes. Asked her where she was from, how did she end up with the rest of this messy bunch—his words not her’s. Tess did answer, some part of her hoping that the titbits of her life would reach Joel. In return for the information she gave, she learned about them as well. Not a lot, but little was still something.

One day she gave the brothers her last can of fruit. She had been hiding it for a while and was planning on eating the sweet, albeit out of date, peaches when her period came. She always ached for something sweet during those times. But she had a plan in motion and in the long run, Tess knew that this small, purposeful, act of kindness would do well for her.

She was right. A week later cold had started to settle into the earth, Tommy brought her a jacket. She didn’t ask where it came from. Nor did she comment on why it was still warm. With a thanks touching her lips, she put it on, ignoring the uncomfortable churn of her stomach.

Joel still didn’t talk to her. Tess noticed him staring a lot. During moments when the fire was crackling, heating up their sore bodies, she was allowed to sit closer to them. She didn’t remember the last time she strived to be closer to someone. She was doing it for her own benefit, of course, but still, Tess had forgotten how to approach people without frowning at how ridiculous it felt to talk about the blossoming flowers. Or the weather.

Every day she felt worse without knowing how to make herself feel better. Every day opening her eyes proved to be more of a struggle. She was in purgatory. Destined to repeat the same sad cycle.

Tommy made her feel a little bit better. He talked endlessly, even when words didn’t need to be said. Tess knew the signs men made in order to distract themselves. Tommy was in pain. At least his own version of it. He lived it differently compared to his brother. Joel sulked, kept to himself, locked himself up tight like a stubborn walnut. In this aspect, Tess felt closer to Joel. She was very much the same. Her desire to talk about her feelings was close to none, and in moments she succumbed to that desire, she felt embarrassed the next day. Almost shy. She recognizes it’s a stupid emotion to have in a world on fire, but something she couldn’t help. Her body had a mind of its own, disobeying her in the most crucial moments. An example of this would be her breathing. She was sick and tired of it.

If there was a god, and she was doubtful of the fact, Tess would want the deity to convince her why she should keep going. What was she fighting for? Why was she here? It was foolish to think there was a higher purpose, she knew there wasn’t one. So why was her body keep fighting on her behalf?

She had too many questions, she realized.

No wonder nobody bothered to show up and spill the cosmic beans to her.

Joel wasn’t expecting Tess to join him during his watch. Or maybe he was, he had no idea what the hell his brain was thinkin’ anymore. He’d noticed the looks. Something was stirring and he could sniff trouble comin’ from a mile away, unlike Tommy, who seemed to be too eager in making friends instead of watching his own goddamn back. Joel had met Tess’s gaze approximately once. Her eyes were green and he thought about how much brighter they must’ve been before all hell broke loose. Now it was a muddled color, a shade of green you would find at the bottom of a polluted lake. Joel didn’t remember why he had looked into her eyes. He thought it was because she said something, or maybe it was Tommy that had said something first. He couldn’t tell the days apart. Every moment bled into one another, turning time into one nonsensical blob.

Tess sat across from him, the fading embers made her skin glow a warm orange. The night had begun to grow longer, the day shorter. Luckily, they were getting close to Boston. Joel couldn’t wait to get rid of the nonessentials that surrounded them. Tommy was fast asleep along with the other two people who remained in their crew. Without realizing it, Joel hugged his rifle tighter. Tess’s eyes followed the moment. Her gaze lingered on the rifle for a moment before meeting Joel’s gaze. She didn’t say anything and it made Joel feel awkward. He cleared his throat and spread his legs wider.

“Couldn’t sleep?” he asked, understanding instantly that this exact question was what she was hoping for. She doesn’t smile, but her lips mimic the shape of it.

She answered. “Nope.”

Silence.

Since when was Joel disturbed by silence? Never. Not even when it was absolute strangers he was with. He never felt the awkward nature of it. Silence had become his friend, his confidant. He spoke to it without making a sound. In the dead of night, he would move his lips, talking to it endlessly. He had to. He had to or he would go insane—or maybe he’d already passed the line separating the two. Joel wasn’t sure. The line was a blur.

Now, the silence felt menacing. His skin grew taut, his bones stiff. His mouth dry like sandpaper, he swallows, then again and again. Filling his mouth with saliva only for it to go dry a moment later.

“I’d rather be alone,” he grunted, internally flinching at how loud he sounded. Joel was hoping this would be the end of it. The sentence paired with his glare was an excellent people repellent.

She only shrugged, garnering his greatest weapon useless, “And I’d rather stay.”

Joel didn’t know what to say to that. He found her statement to be utter bullshit. No one wanted to stay with him. He wasn’t blind, he could see that over the months his brother grew uncomfortable around him. Hell, not even himself. Instinctively, he touched the scar on his temple, still fresh, pulsing under the pads of his fingers. If she noticed, she didn’t ask.

It wouldn’t have mattered if she’d did. Joel wouldn’t have answered her.

“I know you’ve been sniffin’ around for information,” he said in a firm tone, leveling her with a stern gaze. He felt his cheeks burning but couldn’t quite understand why. It was a cold night. “I ain’t gonna give you anythin’. This ain’t a get-together. We’ll travel to Boston with our skin still in place, if lucky, and that’ll be it.”

“I agree.”

Joel raised an eyebrow, his fingers tightening around the long muzzle of the rifle. “See you say you understand,” he grunted. “But you’re still sittin’ there, eager for a conversation.”

“I never said I wanted a conversation,” Tess answers, her brows inching closer as she assessed him with a humorful smile. It made him feel stupid. Like she was in on some kind of joke that he wasn’t aware of. “I don’t care about you, Joel.”

He blinked, confusion etching into the growing lines of his face. His lips parted, the air between them tense for multiple reasons. Tess sighed and leaned back as she arched her back, her spine craving from the pressure. She looked like a cat in a sunbeam.

“I don’t care about your brother either,” she confirmed something that Joel already knew. “And if I’m being honest, I don’t really care about myself either but here I am, trying to survive. Get to Boston, hope that FEDRA is better there.”

“It won’t be.”

“Well,” she answered, her voice growing soft along with the green of her eyes, slightly brighter compared to that swamp color. “A girl can always dream.”

Unlike her, Joel did not soften. In fact, he hardened. He moved his jaw, locking it tight. His shoulders stayed firm, and his gaze, devoid of any color, looked directly into her own.

“Was there a reason for you you tellin’ me you don’t give to shit about my brother and I or did I miss it?”

“I’m just keeping everything out in the open,” the light faded in her eyes and Joel relaxed upon seeing it return. “I don’t care about you two, you don’t care about me. So how about we make this trip a useful one for the three of us.”

Joel barked a silent laugh, “Are you suggestin’ we team up?” his smirk stretched from one side to another, it felt like his lips cracked with the unpracticed expression. He bared his teeth to her. Leaned forward, the dying embers warming his neck and reddening his cheeks. “There’s no reason for that. We’re already in a group.”

“They’ll be dead soon. And so will we, if we don’t have each other’s backs.”

“I ain’t trustin’ you,” he answered and Tess seemed to understand. He could see it in her eyes. He shook his head. “Look, you seem smart, but you’re barkin’ up the wrong tree. What do you suggest? That we run away the three of us? If that was somethin’ I wanted I would just run along with Tommy.”

“But he doesn’t want to,” Tess cut in, looking at him between dainty eyelashes. Joel sucked in a breath, his chest expanding uncomfortably. “Isn’t that the whole reason you joined us? Tommy wanted in. Though I’m sure he’s regretting it now. After seeing what we’re capable of as people.”

“He knows what needs to be done,” Joel hissed through clenched teeth. “Don’t pretend you know him. You don’t.”

His anger simmered pleasantly under his skin. He greeted this emotion with open arms, he enjoyed feeling the rage. It made him sharp, made him briefly forget about the world he was a part of. The hot anger made him see nothing but red. After years of building and building, it felt good to be allowed to destroy. He would stare at his hands a lot when no one was looking. He would get scarred either way. Building and destroying. It didn’t matter. With the latter, he’d not often felt regret.

“Is he scared of you, Joel?”

“Excuse me?”

The words struck a cord within him. He couldn’t understand at first. And when he did his simmering anger came to a boiling point. In that moment, he wanted to shoot her. He wouldn’t. Tess was defenseless and it would cause more trouble than his trigger-happy fingers were worth. Besides, he still had somewhat of a conscience, at least when it came to the people who he was semi-in close relations with.

Tess, knowing well that she managed to crawl under Joel’s skin, smiled.

“He’s scared of you,” she repeated, making Joel’s ears burn. “That’s why he doesn’t want to be alone with you. I saw how you two operate, you’re still trying to protect him from it, aren’t you?”

“He’s a veteran,” he croaked. “He doesn’t need my protection.”

“I’m not saying he’s not dangerous, or less violent than you. But when push comes to shove, you gladly take that responsibility away from him.”

“So what if I do?” Joel spat. He had forgotten that he was trying to make this woman go away. Blood rushed to his ears and he heard little when it came to their surroundings. All he could see was Tess. She was looking at him with curiosity and a hint of something else. A familiarity. “He’s the only thing I have left. Hell will freeze over before I lose him too.”

“Too?”

Shit. Joel was in deep. He wanted to shut up but couldn’t, he felt like she could understand him. Even parts of him he couldn’t quite understand yet. But despite that sudden need to share the thought he hadn’t even shared with Tommy, Joel kept his silence. He pressed his lips tightly together.

“I guess that was stupid of me to say. Of course, you lost someone else. We all have,” she met Joel’s glare and slowly got up. She fixed the crumpled part of the jacket Tommy gave her, which Joel felt ridiculous— who cared about being neat? Must’ve been a force of habit—and she turned on her heel.

“I’ll leave you to it. I think I’m going to try and catch a couple of hours before it’s my turn.” she stopped before she disappeared completely. Joel expected her to turn around but she didn’t. “Thanks for the conversation.”

And with that, she left.

“Dammit,” Joel grumbled from underneath his breath. He hadn’t expected the conversation to go as long as it did. He settled back into position, relaxing his muscles and legs. She had asked to team up but left without pressing on the matter. Joel found that to be weird. He also couldn’t deny the fact that he enjoyed the back and forth. Some sick part of him liked the challenge, it almost felt like dancing, which he wasn’t half bad at before the outbreak.

He let out a sigh and touched his scar again. He didn’t trust himself or his thought process anymore. He especially didn’t trust his hands. They had betrayed him once, who was to say that they wouldn’t betray him again? Joel didn’t want to be here. He went on for family, something he often said to Tommy, his only family late. But if he was going to be honest, he would rather make the shot than be here. Surviving. Alone. His only purpose in life taken from him.

Joel would never see Sarah. He would never hear her laughter or watch her grow old.

He would never get to see her graduate.

He would never get to walk her down the aisle.��

She was gone, forever. And that notion was still unfamiliar to him. He couldn’t believe it, he doubted he ever could believe it. His guilt really came streaming in when he found himself glad that Sarah couldn’t see all of this. She didn’t see the runners, the clickers. She didn’t witness humanity turning on itself. She didn’t see what Joel had become. And god knows he would’ve been so much worse if she were alive. He would’ve done everything to keep her alive and well, not a soul he would topple over for the sake of her.

So, he didn’t want Sarah to be here with him. No. Even if it was painful to admit, he didn’t want her to see all this. He didn’t want her to live through this hell.

Joel wished he had the strength to join her instead.

“One day,” he promises her, whispering into the silence as he often did. “We’ll be together, baby girl. I’m sorry, your dad is a coward.”

Tess burrowed into her jacket. Her neck felt cold, and her fingers numb. She stared at Joel’s back from where she was crouching at. Finally, they had managed to drag their asses to a city and after waiting around for an hour or so they spotted a group heading their way. They had a decent-looking car and were too cheerful to not have the supplies that they needed to make the last walk to Boston. She watched as Tommy stumbled forward, clenching his stomach and heading to the middle of the road. She hated this part. No matter what anyone thought of her, she did not enjoy taking advantage of the naivety of people. Just because she used weaknesses to her advantage often, didn’t mean she enjoyed it.

However, she did notice a growing blood lust in her. She didn’t like the tricking, but she sure as hell enjoyed the fighting. Tess never dubbed herself a violent person. At least not before, but somehow, after months, she found it as a decent enough release. There were no drinks on the road, only the sweet satisfaction when her bullet met its mark.

The car screeched to a halt. A man came out, looking with worry but also suspicion. Tess’s gaze moved from Tommy to Joel. He was tense, thick fingers ready to take aim if anything would happen to his brother. The man leaned forward, asking if Tommy was alright. He was. Before the man could react, Tommy’s fist collided with his chin. The stranger stumbled forward, two other men came stumbling out of the car. Joel shot one in the left without hesitation. He came out of hiding and so did Tess. She always had Joel’s back. At first, she thought she did this because she needed Joel. After a while, she noticed this wasn’t quite the case. It was a month to a flame kind of situation. She wanted to be near him. She wanted to be the one to take down anyone who thought they could harm them.

Them being her, Joel, and Tommy.

Joel didn’t like wasting bullets. He took out his knife and plunged it into someone’s neck. The sound should’ve horrified her, but she just felt a sick thrill rushing up her spine. This was the world they lived in now. One born out of violence.

The three men fell and immediately their crew started raiding the vehicle. Just like Tess suspected, the car was in good shape, they could’ve used it. Tess felt Joel’s presence right next to her, his broad shoulder brushing against hers. Joel and Tommy made a habit of checking in with Tess to ask what they needed most. Even if Joel had said no to the team-up, they had become one, without knowing. While the other two looked in the trunk, Joel leaned into Tess’s ear, his hot breath fanning her dirt-ridden skin. It felt oddly nice.

“This car won’t hold the five of us,” he said in a hushed tone. “Let’s ditch’em.”

“Look at you finally warming up to me,” she teased, the corners of her lips twitching. Joel frowned but still, she could see a tenderness in his charcoal eyes. “Do you have a plan?”

“I mean, isn’t it obvious?” he shifted uncomfortably, pulling the rifle to his front. Tess’s gaze dropped to the weapon briefly, her eyes immediately shooting back up to meet his. She didn’t need him to spill it out. Tess knew exactly what he meant, and honestly, he didn’t mind the straightforward plan. They would’ve done the same—this was something Tess repeated herself constantly, she believed it.

“What about Tommy?” Tess asked, unlike Joel and her, Tommy knew their names. She didn’t think he cared about them but still, despite all they’d done, the younger Miller still had a weird code that he tended to follow.

“He’ll understand.”

Everyone had their mantras they tended to repeat. Even if they didn’t quite believe it. Saying they would’ve done the same, was Tess’s, and saying he’ll understand was Joel’s. Maybe Tommy did understand, Tess never bothered to ask or check-in.

Her sole focus was getting the three of them to Boston alive. Honestly, she didn’t know a bigger thing in this world to show that she cared. They’d grown close in odd ways. Tess would throw over them a blanket or jacket when their teeth clattered at night. She found this to be peaceful, her soul easing just a bit at the familiarity of the action. And when they were on the road, the brother began to cage her in, having her in the middle. Tess hated hiking. She always fucking tripped. They caught her, every time. Their conversation skills lacked, someone would eventually strike a nerve but Tess knew over time, that would grow strong as well.

Funnily enough, they didn’t kill them. When Tommy got a sense of what was happening, he guarded Joel’s back. Family came first after all. Joel beat them, knocked them out, and left them bloody and whimpering. Tess watched with fascination. He had so much rage. She should’ve been used to it but she wasn’t. Every time he heard a bone crack, her breath hitched. Joel had something else driving him, that was her only explanation. His gaze would become dazed and he would bare his teeth like a wild animal. She often saw that Joel wouldn’t hear no one in this state, only on rare occasions he would hear Tommy.

The man was consumed by violence. He drowned in it. Yet she knew he longed for something else. Something similar that Tess longed for as well. Neither of the brothers told her but she knew. No one could hide the pain of losing a child. And he knew she showed it as well. Hiding that kind of pain was unbearable, unthinkable. In some sense, she was happy that she showed it. It meant that he was with her, always. Be it good or bad.

When the beating stopped, one still remained conscious. His faze was swollen, crimson blood pouring from his mouth. Joel took a fistful of his hair and pulled his head back so their former crew member could look into his eyes. She wondered what they saw. Would she ever be the end of that gaze? She figured that wouldn’t be the worst way to go.

“You’re goin’ to forget about us?” Joel growled. “Understand?”

The man whimpered something similar to a fuck you but Tess couldn’t quite tell. Joel snarled and his fist whirred through the air, landing the finishing blow.

When the three entered the car, Tess could see the small movements of their chests. Barely there. The concrete they were laying on stained with red.

They weren’t good people.

And she couldn’t find it in herself to care.

Boston QZ was most certainly better than Detroit. At least for the time being. It was still shit, but Tess felt that she could breathe better here. Fedra was easier to persuade with goods. Goods that she had no trouble getting her hands on, thanks to the Millers. They worked subtly at first, learning the routes and making “friends” among the smugglers that already had their respective spots and partners.

Tommy and Joel stayed together while Tess stayed alone in the apartment opposite from them. Sometimes she would look through the dusty windows, stealing brief glances at Joel and Tommy. They sat on the couch a lot. Talked a lot. During nights when Tess woke up drenched in sweat and her heart ramming in her chest, she found solace in seeing a dim light pouring through their window. It made her feel less alone.

After a week, she noticed a blue butterfly on their window. One time she felt brave enough to ask about it. She was already in their apartment so it felt like the perfect moment.

“What’s with the butterfly?”

Joel’s eyes slowly moved to the delicate decoration, his gaze lingered. “Apparently Tommy took it from Sarah’s room. He kept it all this time and thought it would be good to finally hand it.” he sounded almost wistful.

That was the first time Joel mentioned Sarah to Tess. She found herself speechless and didn’t say a word. A warmth she had forgotten blossomed in her chest and spread through her body like wildfire. Her ears started to ring, her heart started beating too fast. The warmth she felt turned into something sickly hot, so hot that she had trouble breathing. She thought herself to be spiraling. Her eyes couldn’t focus and her breath came out in harsh pants. Joel’s presence loomed near her. Just his presence without any physical touch. He slightly leaned forward, ready to place his large hands on the span of her back if she needed it. She swallowed, refusing to ask for the comfort.

It wasn’t the fact that she was touched by Joel’s non-existent confession that he had lost his daughter. It was the fact that she was right and this man shared the same pain as she did. Her mind went back in time, images blurring into a sickly dark color until it stopped on a certain September night. She’d skipped dinner, running late that night. When she arrived home she saw the empty plates and a portion left out for her, pasta with a pre-made marinara sauce. Without touching it, she looked around, finding their home to be uncharacteristically silent. Tess didn’t know what possessed her to do it, but she took a knife with her as she entered the living room—

“Tess,” Joel called, his voice dropping an octave. Still not touching her. “Tess, are you alright?”

“I,” she shook her head. “I’m fine.”

Tess knew how to influence Joel. It wasn’t the same with Tommy, the younger Miller was more eager to believe in everything and anything. Joel was easier. He didn’t want to think, he didn’t want to plan, which made it easier for Tess because she always had a plan. Responsibility weighed heavily on Joel’s shoulders and he wanted nothing more than to give that away.

But sometimes Tess forgot that Joel read her just as easily.

She felt his palm resting between her shoulder blades. She let out a breath then. His hand eased the tension of her back, moving up and down and back up again. Her shoulders dropped and so did her head. Joel continued to do this until her breathing returned to normal and she found her voice again. Never would she thought that the same hands that destroyed so easily could be her sense of comfort.

“Thanks,” she croaked out, her voice shaky.

“You’re good,” he answered. His hand had stopped moving but still laid heavily over her back. “I had the same—if not worse— reaction when Tommy showed me the butterfly. I was furious. . . this thing that we feel, it ain’t ever gonna get easy.”

Her resolve started to crack. She imagined her blood pouring through the gaps like thick tar. That’s how it felt and it hurt as much. Still, it fucking hurt. She would never heal from this, she would never have that hope again. At least that was what she believe back then, before a girl showed up saying that she was immune.

Tess sucked in a sharp breath through the gaps of her teeth. Her eyes were wet. She struggled to keep it all in, a knot big as her fist clogging her throat.

The curve of Joel’s nose pressed against the side of her cheek. His eyes were closed. Two hands came to her sides and skimmed down her forearms. His hot breath fanned her cheek and she felt his lips. They were chapped and rough against her tender flesh. He didn’t kiss her, but he might as well have.

“His name was Jason,” she choked and her nostrils flared. It was unbearable. The way she felt. She just wanted all of it to stop; her shivering, her tears, her thoughts, her flood of memories. But it didn’t.

Tess didn’t remember much after that. She didn’t fall or collapse, she didn’t sob loudly with parted lips. She cried silently, exhaling sharp pants. The streaks burned her face. Her bottom lips quivered. Sometimes during that, Joel had pulled her towards the couch she so often saw through her own window. His arm never left her shoulder and occasionally he brushed his knuckles over the shimmering wetness that glided down her face.

It was nice and unexpected. Somewhere along the journey, Tess managed to gain more than she had hoped for. She was looking for a soldier. Someone who would be use of her physically. Fighting the battles she could not when her wits weren’t enough. Joel proved to be more than what she thought of him. She gained so much more.

She gained a friend. Someone who understood her. And honestly, what more could you ask during the end of times?

You keep going for family. This was another thing Joel said in moments of vulnerability. A reminder of sorts.

It was raining when Tommy left him, it was raining still. Tess’s boots smacked heavily against the wet pavement. She had heard the rumors before confirming it from Joel himself. Tommy had joined those nutcases called the fireflies. The younger Miller had left them both. Some part of her didn’t want to believe it. She had seen the signs of it but it was still hard to believe Tommy would actually leave Joel. Despite their differences, they were strong together, and in a world like this, that was something you wouldn’t want to give up.

The fireflies must’ve brainwashed him. Tess could see no other way.

The door was already open when she got there and it creaked after she entered and closed it. Joel was sitting on the couch, his legs parted and hands cradling his face. He didn’t make a noise as Tess approached him. She knelt in front of him, curling her fingers around his wrists. They barely closed around the bone.

“He left,” he said. “He fuckin’ left to save the goddamn world. Again.”

Tess clicked her tongue, a soft smile gracing her countenance. She slowly shook her head, “They never learn.”

Joel sighed and pulled his hands away from his face. His arms dropped to his knees along with Tess’s hands. He just stared at her. His gaze unfocused like he wasn’t there.

“He’s gonna get himself killed,” Joel bristled. Only then Tess noticed his hoarse voice, as if he’d been shouting for a good ten hours. Her fingers twitched above his forearms, she did a brief scan. She took in the sight of a broken chair, the shattered glass on the floor. It must’ve been one hell of a fight. “He promised to let me know what he’s up to thanks to the radio. Every Sunday he said. Like that makes this situation any goddamn better.”

Her gaze moved back to Joel. In the dark of the living room, she had failed to notice the dark circle slowly forming around his eyes. Lighting struck and she saw it more clearly. The sudden burst of light gave him a menacing look. Her heart pounded loudly in her chest, a soft gasp parting her lips. Goosebumps pebbled over her skin so fast that it stung.

“He’ll be fine,” Tess said, her words empty to her own ears.

“You don’t know that.”

“I don’t,” she agreed. “But I know that Tommy is capable, he’ll find his way. Eventually.”

“I did this,” Joel said suddenly, ignoring her words that was meant to comfort him. “I keep saying he understands what needs to be done. I can’t help it. I still see him as that hopeful kid before that moron shipped himself off to war. Somethin’ died in him Tess. I don’t know what’ll happen to him if the last bit of his goodness also dies. He’s not like us. Hope feeds him.”

Not like us.

So Joel had noticed it too. That there was more to them than common losses and the way that they dealt with it. Joel saw her as bit of destructive as he was, only in different ways. Tess was surprised to see that this notion didn’t bother her. It was more like a relief. A brush of soft waves burying her feet into the sand. She didn’t want to act or pretend to be something that she wasn’t. She wasn’t kind, she wasn’t good. Joel saw that. He saw parts of him in her that allowed him to confess things he probably didn’t even confess to his brother. Joel always saw Tommy as light and himself as darkness. Tess could argue that Tommy’s “light” wasn’t exactly something good or useful. She found it more to be a defense mechanism for tricking himself that this world had more to offer—but she’s rather cut her tongue off than say that to Joel. He had enough going on in that thick skull of his.

“Then you have nothing to worry about,” Tess answered, watching as Joel furrowed his brows. “Fireflies are nothing but hopeful idiots believing that things might change.”

“I don’t want him to live in a delusion.”

“Then let him see what the world is for himself. You’ve done enough. You can’t shield him forever.”

His pupils ate away the color of his eyes that was already dark to begin with. Tess held his breath while his gaze searched for something, flitting over every surface of her face. Something shifted in the air. Tess could feel it needling into her skin, her heart heavy with a desire she had completely forgotten about. Her skin prickled and her fingers twitched.

Joel breathed heavily, not moving an inch. His eyes dropped to her lips and she could see the hints of confusion burrowing into his rugged features. Tess wasn’t known for her patience. Especially not now. She closed the distance, crashing their lips together, devouring the mourning man hungrily. Joel leaned closer and his legs spread futher, allowing Tess to inch closer to the gaps of his body.

She slipped her tongue between his lips and he threaded his fingers into her hair. He tasted like moonshine and the artificial, bitter taste of pills. She felt blunt nails against her scalp, burying themselves into the dry skin. Joel pulled and she went, baring her neck. He tugged on her locks harder, pressed his lips against her neck. She felt teeth and tongue. Joel bit into her, again and again, marking her, pouring his need to possess and keep those he cared for close to him.

Tess returned the gesture in kind. Her hands went up the flannel of his shirt and she dragged her nails down his back. She heard him hissing into her skin. She keened at the sound, demanded more of it. When she did it again, Joel groaned. He dragged his lips up her neck and all the way up to her temple where he breathed heavily.

“Harder,” he rasped, his own fingers making their presence known by pulling at the roots of her hair. “Make me feel it, Tess.”

His Texan drawl had become deeper with pleasure and pain. Tess bit his bottom lip and pulled as she slowly got up. She shrugged off her jacket and plaid, kicked away his jeans and boots. She wanted to feel him as well. She wanted to feel the rough drag of the worn fabric of his jeans, wanted to feel his hands on her bare skin. Joel’s gaze was all-consuming, devouring. Tess straddled his lap, the ache in her thighs growing as she accommodate the width of his hips. Joel wanted no time spreading his fingers over the expanse of her back, feeling the small scars that lingered there.

She was braless and Tess knew he liked the fact that she was. Her nipples pebbled with the cold of the room, the dampness of rain seeping through the walls easily. Joel wasted no time taking the peaked flesh between his lips. His hands cupped her waist and her head fell back at how harshly he sucked. Her back arched, pushing more of herself between those sinful lips. He swirled his tongue, nipped the aching flesh. Arousal pooled between her legs and Tess felt the fabric sticking to her folds, making her shift over his lap.

Tess could feel how hard Joel was through his jeans. She rolled her hips, both of them moaning at the sudden jolt of pleasure rolling over their heated skin.

She gripped his hair and yanked his head back, a groan vibrating through his chest. Tess kissed him hard, he sucked her tongue and in return, Tess grinned and bit him. He hissed into her open mouth. “Do you feel it now, Joel?”

“Shit—I do,” he guided the sloppy roll of her hips, his hand dropped between her legs, thumb grazing over her throbbing clit. “Can’t wait to bury myself deep in this sweet pussy, spitfire. You’d like that, wouldn’t you? Me fuckin’ you hard so you can’t think anythin’ else.”

He’d called her spitfire, she hadn’t expected herself to enjoy that as much as she did. That nickname would be reserved for when it was just the two of them.

“That would be ideal, yes,” she purred, cradling Joel’s face, she pulled up his gaze. “Hopefully you’re not just all talk and no bite.”

“Oh, don’t you worry about that. I’m plenty of bite.”

Much to her surprise, Joel smirked, his tongue swiping over his bottom lip. She couldn’t help herself and pressed her thumb against the shiny swell of it. He kissed her thumb then cupped her ass, urging her to lift herself on her knees. Tess did exactly that, hovering in the air as Joel unzipped and pulled himself out of the confinements of his jeans. Some part of her wanted to strip him, see him bare, and connect every scar with the drag of her tongue. However, at this given moment, she felt dazed, as if everything that was happening around her was buried under a sheer patch of smoke. There was a tremor to her thighs. Joel’s hands slowly gripped her thighs, kneading the muscle.

“You sure ‘bout this?” he groaned, the slick sound of him fucking his fist deafening. She clenched around nothing, arousal dripping down the inside of her thighs.

“Yeah,” Tess gasped.“I want this.”

She took him inch by inch, a hint of plain blossoming between her legs as Joel stretched her wide. Tess didn’t remember the last time she had sex. She forgot about the importance of preparation. The thoughts of want and need were too consuming. Besides, it wasn’t important. Tess knew that the pain would soon turn into something pleasurable. Her walls fluttered and squeezes around him, trying to adjust to his size. Her nostrils flared and Joel pressed his lips into her chest, peppering the delicate skin.

When she was fully seated, he dragged his palms across her back and then slid his hands to the front of her body. He squeezed her breasts and brushed his thumbs over her nipples. Every part of it felt incredibly good. Having him buried so deep made her feel alive in a way that she had forgotten.

“How does it feel?” he asked in a hushed tone, the tip of his nose cold as it brushed against her clavicle. His thumb dug into her hip bone.

“Shit, Joel. You’re seriously packing, I never would’ve thought,” a puff of laughter parted her lips. “But to answer your question—yeah, it feels fucking good.”

Joel groaned, flexing his cock. Tess shuddered, a gush of arousal wetting them both. One hand slid up to rest between her shoulder blades while the other followed the curve of her behind. “Tell me if. . .” he swallowed. “Tell me if anythin’ feels not-good, a’right?”

His voice was soft, the way he spoke slow. And he was so incredibly awkward. It was endearing. Her nails bit into his broad shoulders, her body relaxing in a way it hadn’t ever since the infection spread.

“Alright.”

The rain grew louder, drowning out their moans.

Pleasure rolled over her again and again. Like everything, they connected in this aspect of their lives as well. Their bodies were in complete harmony and in constant movement. Tess would push herself up with the guidance of his arms and Joel would snap into her. The pacing of his hips was hard and fast, with every stroke Tess could feel her lungs emptying and burning. The fabric of his jeans scraped against the delicate skin of the back of her thighs.

Joel’s rage seeped into her with every thrust, she could feel it. The grief, the pain, the betrayal. She allowed him to use her. The relief wouldn’t last but it was better than nothing—and it also allowed her a moment of a blank slate that made her see stars. His movement became rough, his feet planted against the hardwood floors, he fucked her nice and deep. Just like she wanted. Tess could think of nothing else. Only the way his big cock split her into two and how she wanted this to be the only thing she felt until she died.

Her orgasm shattered through her, black dots hovering across her vision, she pulled Joel close. He happily buried his face into her, facial hair tickling her skin, his velvet tongue poking out between his lips to taste the salt. She shivered, her entire body contorting with the strangle of pleasure. Briefly, she couldn’t breathe. Everything felt too much, too sudden. Joel pushed her down, burying himself deeper as he slightly raised his hips off the couch to fill her more, if possible. He groaned at the way her walls fluttered, how it threatened to squeeze him dry. His hand slid back to the back of her neck and harshly forced her to lean in for a searing kiss.

When the tremors of her body subsided, Joel pulled out. His cock jutted dark between his legs and leaked for her. She felt him against her stomach, wet and warm, as he jerked himself with sloppy, urgent strokes. He inhaled a sharp breath. Hissed between clenched teeth when he came, hot ropes of come splashing over the soft swell of her stomach. A shudder crawled down her spine, a whimper parting her lips.

Joel took deep breaths of her scent, groaned into her. His cock continued to throb against his palm, the tremors of his orgasm still raking across his body. Every muscle clenched and taut by the force of it.

“Fuck,” Tess huffed, loudly. Her lips moved over Joel’s forehead, the tension that drew lines into his face momentarily gone. “You were right, you definitely have a bite, Miller.”

“Fuckin’ told you.”

Tess couldn’t see his face but she knew he was smiling.

Joel saw red.

His fists ached, his breathing was uneven, shudders rolling throughout his body over and over again. Blood dripped to the floors of their shared apartment. His knuckles were split and when his gaze dropped to his hands, he moved them, hissing at the blossoming pain. Tess wearily sat on the dusty couch, her body looking like a ragdoll. The jacket Tommy had gifted her all those months ago was tattered and she had a swollen lip.

Joel saw read when he saw Tess laying on the cold concrete, a group of men huddled around her, kicking her to the curb.

He didn’t even remember pulling out his knife. Didn’t remember pulling out his gun. It was late. He’s gone out to look after her when she didn’t return when she said she would. It was supposed to be as simple drop-off, which is why Tess had insisted Joel stay behind. Looking over her, Joel promised himself to never stay behind again. He fucking knew something would go wrong and he was right.

He was so tired of always being fuckin’ right.

Joel wasn’t sure how much of it Tess saw or heard. He killed them all and didn’t stop when they dropped down one by one, rage blinded him, consumed him. The wretched feeling only disappeared when he heard Tess groan, a faint whisper of his name following. He dropped the man he held by the collar—maybe calling him corpse would be more fitting than man? Joel was fairly certain he was already dead— he scooped Tess up from the ground and carried her to their shared apartment, carefully so that FEDRA wouldn’t spot them.

Somewhere between the months, Tess moved in—though could it really be called moving in when you owned nothing?

“Well, I feel like shit,” Tess groaned, her voice hoarse and scratchy. She could barely open her eyes. She held her head, wincing at the pain. “Those little shits didn’t want to pay up. Fuckin’ new meat is always the worse.”

“Forget about that now,” Joel answered. He moved closer, the chair scraping along the floors. He had a bit of antiseptic left, the last of their batch, and poured some over a dirty cloth. “This is gonna sting.”

“Just get it over with.”

She didn’t say much after that but Joel could tell that it did, in fact, sting. He wiped away the blood from her face, gently cupping her bruised jaw. When he was satisfied he’s clean every wound, he threw the cloth stained with red to the floor and brushed a strand of dirty hair behind her ear. Tess leaned into the touch. It was subtle, but when Joel felt it he allowed his hand to linger.

“We should get you washed up,” he muttered.

Tess snorted and shook her head, “Are you kidding me? The water is freezing cold. There’s no way in hell I’m gonna take a shower at this hour.” when Joel raised both brows she added. “I slept dirtier.”

“I’ll join you,” he said, running his hand up her thigh. He swallowed, it was true Tess slept dirtier, but he didn’t think he could handle seeing her like that any more than he had to. And the scent of blood was making his stomach churn. “Please.”

Tess observed him for a moment. She often did this whenever Joel uttered the word ‘please’. It wasn’t something that he often said, which he did on purpose so the word could carry some weight. It became like a code among them, making the other realize that the other was serious about what they needed.

She sighed, “Fine. Be grateful you’re basically a radiator with legs.”

Joel didn’t have it in himself to smile at the playful quip.

He carefully led Tess to the bathroom, supporting her as they entered the small, dimly lit space. They stripped each other slowly. She unbuttoned his plaid shirt as he pushed her ripped jacket off of her shoulders. Between every article of clothing that was removed, they pressed their lips over every newly exposed skin.

Tess stood under the water, her bruised and battered body tense with pain. The water cascaded down her, mixing with the dirt and blood that stained her skin. Joel watched her silently with his brows furrowed. That rage was swirling in his stomach once more, and he regretted that he finished them off so quickly. His protectiveness a poison both to him and to those around them. If they lived in the world before, this would have became a problem, but not now. Now people ached to be protected, they ached to be taken care of. No matter how much they refused.

Joel stepped into the shower behind her, allowing the water to drench them both. His arms encircled her, pulling her close, their bodies pressed together. The shock of the cold water against their skin was momentary as Joel’s body heat was enough to warm her chilled skin. Tess leaned into him, her curves brushing his semi-hard cock. He ignored it.

Joel’s hands moved with deliberate care, tracing the outline of her body, avoiding the tender spots that were still sore. He focused on each wound, gently cleansing them and removing any debris. Tess winced occasionally but remained silent. The water rinsed away the remnants of their harrowing experience, carrying them down the drain as if washing away the past. Joel knew he would be doing this many times after this, and she would be doing the same for him.

Against the numbing cold, Joel’s fingers carried warmth. She let out a sigh and allowed her head to fall back over his shoulder. They only had water to clean her. No soap. They’d used up their last bar a week before and forgot about replacing it. He cupped her breasts, gently lifting them to allow the water to cleanse everywhere. Tess hissed at the cold, her nipples pebbling.

Satisfied that she was cleansed of the caked blood, Joel’s hand slid between her legs, middled finger sliding between her tender folds. The digit was suddenly enveloped in a searing heat that made him groan. He dragged his teeth up her neck and tugged her earlobe.

“My spitfire,” he said, the nickname bleeding over his tongue. Saying it made him feel uneasy, but it was too late now. Tess didn’t answer her other than let out a soft gasp.

He wanted to say more. And he knew Tess wanted to say more as well. But neither said anything. Unsaid confessions running along their bodies and being drained into the sink just like the water that made them short of breath. He’d hoped what he said was enough to convey. He couldn’t do more than that. Even that was too much to say in a cruel world such as this one.

He turned off the faucet, and the rush of cold water ceased. He reached for a threadbare towel, enfolding her in its embrace, absorbing the moisture clinging to her skin.

Their eyes met, speaking volumes without the need for words.

Joel lead her to their bed and sprawled her over the sheets, the cold drops seeping into the fabric. He rarely stood naked in the apartment, both of them were careful to keep clothed nearby. But in this situation, when both of them were wet and cold, it seemed dumb to stop and put their clothes back on. Tess spread her legs for him. His cock stood dark between his legs, hunger twisting in his stomach. She had a pretty cunt. The soft curls a shade lighter compared to her hair, he sat on his knees, spread his hand over her sex, felt them underneath his fingers.

“I don’t want you goin’ on your own anymore,” he stated. “I don’t care how ‘easy’ the job seems. You ain’t goin’ alone, understood?”

He knew she understood but waited for the nod of her head anyway. And when she did, Joel gripped her thighs and lifted them, allowing her legs to rest upon his shoulders. He dipped in, hungry for a taste. Slowly, he kissed her folds, diving his tongue in between, groaning as she coated his tongue.

“Shit—Fuck—Joel, that feels so good, god.”

Feeling her pulse around him oddly enough, made him feel relieved. Joel sucked her clit between his lips and swirled his tongue over the sensitive nub. Tess arched into him, her hands laced in his dripping hair, she pulled him closer. With a groan, he traced the rip of his tongue around her entrance and pushed the soft muscle in. He fucked her with his tongue, licking into her with rapid strokes. His own need ached between his legs, it was easy to ignore when he felt her fluttering around him. Joel parted her with both thumbs and buried himself deeper. Tess cried out his name, the neediness of it making him smile.

He hummed loudly, the reverberations from the sound made her thighs tighten around the frame of his face. It didn’t take her long to come undone with his mouth. Her back arched, and Joel moaned as her nails bit into his scalp. Her body convulsed and with a moan, she gushed around his tongue, whispering his name over and over as if it was a prayer.

Joel continued to work his jaw, sloppily dragging his tongue down her soaked folds. He loved these moments. Her body would become loose and pliant, seeing her like that made him feel almost glad. Tess tugged on his hair, prompting him to look up. She smiled down at him and dragged her thumb across his shiny lips.

“Your turn, Miller.”

I still can't believe this reached 9k words, it my head it was supposed to be 5k lmaodvf if you reached this far, thank you so much for reading! writing in third person isn't really my strong suit but I hope this was okay!

sending everyone all the love and hugs xx

#joel miller x tess servopoulos #joel x tess #hbo the last of us fanfiction #the last of us fanfic #the last of us fanfiction #the last of us hbo #pedro pascal character fanfiction #pedro pascal character fanfic #pedro pascal characters

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shingekinomyfeelings · 29 days

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Reiner x reader master list

If you're here for AOT fics, I should probably mention that I'm not the most prolific fanfic writer. I write when the inspiration and energy hit me, and frankly, I have zero self discipline!

That said, even with AOT now finished, and fandom activity dwindling, I will still write and update fics as the mood takes me - but with less rampant AOT energy on my dash, my inspiration has taken a bit of a nose dive.

At its heart, though, this is still primarily a blog I made for exploring the AOT fandom, and I'd like to keep it that way, even if the AOT content becomes less frequent. For now, my fics aren't going anywhere, and neither is my silly Reiner obsession.

My fics are mostly x reader, and yes, they're basically all about Reiner. This is a very very shameless Reiner blog, I'm not gonna pretend it's not. Fluff and angst are generally my strong points, but I'm becoming a little less shy about writing smut.

I generally don't take requests, but I'm open to... suggestions? If you wanna bounce headcanons around or thirst dump or just talk about Reiner, my ask box is always open. Don't be shy! I'm nothing but a doofus, I promise.

Finally, I'm doing this for fun and because I enjoy it, so please don't yell at me about whatever thing you didn't like in my writing. Comments absolutely do make my day, though, and reblogs are so very appreciated and encouraged, no matter how long ago the fic was published.

one shots.

short and sweet - or, short and upsetting!

sfw

preservation (drama/fluff) - an injury during training leads to a bit of bickering and a bit of a confession. ~1600 words.

too much, not enough (hurt/comfort) - Reiner talks with you in the midst of a depressive episode. ~450 words.

nsfw

Shh (smut, pwp) - Reiner is a tease in the best possible way

multi-chapter fics.

longer stories, but still in bite-sized chapters. updates happen when they happen, I'm sorry.

sfw

nsfw

headcanons.

you can't prove I'm not right.

sex headcanons - pre-timeskip Reiner vs post-timeskip

misc nsfw musings: vocal | too sweet to talk mean

imagines.

fun thoughts.

lies Reiner tells himself | flirty sparring gone horribly wrong | Reiner whose SO is afraid of the dentist (request-ish)

character analysis.

overanalyzing and wildly speculating as god intended.

on the idea of Reiner having a separate 'evil/cruel' personality part 1, and then part 2

not Reiner fics???

sometimes I pick on other characters.

misc weird shit.

The Saga of the Cursed Reiner Bot: A Love Story in 8 Parts - everyone's favorite slow motion trainwreck from when these AI chat bots were still an exciting novelty

#attack on titan fanfiction #aot fanfiction #aot fanfics #reiner braun #reiner #reiner braun x reader #reiner x reader #my writing

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emblazons · 1 year

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a post in defense of (a very much alive) S5 Jonathan Byers

under the cut b/c this is more frustrated commentary than strict analysis, and you shouldn't have to read if you don't want to.

I feel like it must have come from the dry spell between seasons, but I have to say it: all of this “Jonathan is gonna die and that means Stancy could happen” stuff lately is not only giving "I just like angst for its own sake," it's lowkey nonsense if you look at it thematically (in context of the Jon/Nancy/Steve madness yes, but especially in context of the Byers family).

—like? Friends.

Given the Duffer’s track record of refusing to fully kill off major characters even when it could have made sense to (cc: Hopper and Max), I don’t think anyone is actually meeting their end, but let’s be SO serious about who is actually likely to get axed: the boy with a mom, brother, step-sister and girlfriend who have been central to every single moment in this show…or the one they've put into a triangle we all thought was over until S4, who they’ve honestly written into a corner, & whose primary drive in four entire seasons was getting a girlfriend and protecting a bunch of teenagers?

I'm getting ahead of myself. Let's just talk Jonathan.

The Duffers (Matt especially) have openly gotten upset at even the notion of Mike dying because "that's depressing" AND "that's Nancy's brother" (showing the familial ties are a HUGE part of what would keep them from ending someone), in addition to them saying they've thought through every imaginable scenario" on who might die—

—and you think its Jonathan whose meeting his end? King of championing "not liking what you don't have to" and the outcasts in all areas from music taste to being queer...after all the Byers have been through and knowing The Duffers write toward championing the outcasts and those who embrace their differences?

That, combined with the fact that the only "evidence" I've ever seen for him potentially dying has been that speech he gave to Will in the SBP somehow being connected to (you guessed it) setting up angst for Will...I'm gonna take a hard and wild educated guess based on the entirety of the rest of the show and say that was literally written so Will could catch a goddamn break, not as a death tag.

The fact that Noah confirmed it wasn't in the Duffer's OG script, was written day of filming + was done because "it was important for people to see will wasn't alone" is evidence enough for that.

Even so, the fact that there are still at least 4 unresolved plots Jonathan is part and privy to makes his death even less likely, because it wouldn't make sense for resolving anything for him to die at all, never mind in the episodes before our supposed timeskip.

Jonathan's messy relationship with Nancy, the fact that he's the only one who actually knows Will is gay, and the fact that he's the only other character who saw & understood the ULTIMATE Chekhov's gun in the form of that painting (on top of also having a longstanding relationship with Mike )should make it clear he isn't going anywhere from a narrative perspective...and I'm not even sure where the idea that he would die popped up, other than fandom warping the canon and projecting onto the plot.

The Duffers have always been clear about not doing things solely for the sake of surprise + not liking things that don't make narrative sense...and Jonathan's death would be both of those things, done solely for shock value.

I just. Be so serious right now. if you want to imagine the weight of Jonathan dying SOLELY for fandom angst DO THAT...but don't pretend like his death in the show wouldn't be the most poorly foreshadowed thing in this entire show, on top of not matching a single theme of the ongoing Stranger Things narrative. ☠️

Put some respect on his name lmao

Bonus: If you really want to talk about character's dying (and not just jump into angst for its own sake): they haven’t given Steve a proper love interest EVER outside of Nancy, made Dustin cry over Eddie instead of staying close to Steve S4, and haven’t ONCE referenced that boy’s family properly more than a few times in passing (and only by Steve himself).

He is the only character who craves normalcy despite this show being about championing the outcast, was supposed to die seasons ago but stayed because Joe Keery was so beloved, and has now been written into a corner where every single person who is central to him (esp Dustin and Robin) either have a new love interest or are worried about something else more than him, which...if you want canonical evidence for a possible death, you're looking in the wrong corner of this love triangle.

#HERE U GO ANON LMAO #my st commentary #jonathan byers #stranger things #he will be alive and well in S5!#single? maybe. but DEFINITELY alive lmao

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hyperfreaksating · 3 months

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Hey you're having too more fun those days, have some post timeskip angst!!!!

yes that's a Selena Gomez quote, what do you want me to say, that's who I am now

#redbomb family #redbombshipping #redbomb triplets #one piece oc #doodle #illustration #one piece original character #rory the clown #skye the clown #buggy pirates #fankids #one piece au

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sunghoonnsupremacy · 9 months

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DESIRE.- s.jy. pt. 4

- summary; park sunghoon, the famous ice skater. what will happen when one of his best friends decide to hit up his sister? will their secret relationship cause pain in between bonds?

- warnings; sneaking around, nsfw scenes, kys/kms jokes, lying, angst (if u squint), A LOT of kissing, desperate/needy jake.

read under the cut¡! - written + texts part.

JAKE STANDS OUTSIDE OF HIS CAR, patiently waiting for his new so called date to come. he looks all elegant and neat, as if he's going on some high class interview. he can't look shabby in front of a pretty girl though can he? how embarrassing would that be.

"god if sunghoon sees me it's my last day on earth. " he sighs, running a hand through his freshly washed, styled and silky blonde hair.

from where he's posted up, he can see their front door opening. haneul walks out, turning around quickly to probably make sure that sunghoons nowhere in sight. she checks around the street, looking for jake. when she sees him, a smile lights up on her face.

jake takes notice of her smile and waves at her. haneul quickly walks over to him, pardoning the other people on the side walk.

"hi jake!" she flashes him a smile and leans in for a hug. his surprise doesn't last long as her warm figure engulfs him into a hug.

"hey pretty. " he hugs her back tightly. they pulled away from each other and jake shot her another smile.

"you look really nice, jake. " she compliments his attire. he gives her a weak laugh and holds her hand. "you look even nicer. "

haneul holds his hand back, thanking him for the compliment.

"we should go, before sunghoon sees us, hm?" he opens the passenger seat door and she obediently sits in it.

jake gets into the drivers seat and starts driving away. the two sit in silence for most of the ride, until jake puts his hand on her thigh, making her breath hitch in her throat.

he smirked looking straight ahead on the road, knowing what effect he has on her.

"by the way. . where are we going? " she asks turning to face him. he turns around quickly to look at her and says "shopping. we can go to the park later or I can drive you home earlier. " he winks at her and turns back around to the road.

"sounds good! we can go to the park, I don't mind. " she replies with a wide smile, excited to spend time with him.

TIMESKIP.

"f-fuck jake that feels so good! " haneul moans into jake's mouth, his right hand groping her tits through her white shirt like a stress ball.

his cold fingers pinch her nipple, him chuckling into the kiss when she let's out a squeal. "that feel good, pretty? " their kissing getting more messy by the minute. he can feel her hum into the kiss, probably meant as a yes.

before their little rendezvous started, he bought her all the stuff her eyes sparkled at. he's also previously left a unmatched amount of love bites on her neck.. jake really enjoyed her little cute noises as he marked her.

"baby you're so addictive, fuck. " he groans letting her tongue explore his mouth. he can feel his cock harden at the sweet taste of her.

their bodies pressing up against each other, nothing heard except their wet kissing and moaning.

jake feels his pants harden even more at the sensation of kissing her. fuck, he knew about the effect he had on her but she had a even worse one on him.

the two continue kissing, their little romantic moment being seen as never ending. wet sounds are heard as their lips smack against each other for the past twenty minutes... until!

PING!!

they both ignore the sound, too obsessed and engulfed in each other's touch. It's quiet again for a while until the sound can be heard once again.

PING!!

jake groans when haneul pulls away to check her phone, recognising the sound as her iMessage notification.

a sudden wave of paleness washes over her face, jake taking immediate notice. "shit! It's sunghoon. he's asking where I am. " she runs a hand through her hair at the sight of him texting her about her whereabouts.

"what the hell do I say? " worry can be heard quiet literally lacing her tone. he suddenly whispers into her ear, "definitely don't tell him about the hickeys on your neck. " his seductive voice making her cheeks go red.

she nudges him with her elbow and covers her mouth in embarrassment. "don't worry pretty, just say you're out with a friend. he definitely won't suspect a thing. " he pecks her on the lips to ease her worries.

haneul nods her head as an agreement that that's a good idea and that she probably doesn't have a another way to slither her way out of the tight closed and risky situation.

"see? told u he'd believe it. now we can go back to what we were doing. " he whispers into her ear and starts kissing along her jawline before hearing her chuckle.

"I'd love to, but I promised sunoo I'd ft him to keep him company. " she gives him a peck on his soft lips before holding his hand.

jake let's out a groan, knowing he's left with blue balls and isn't able to do anything about it except use his hand.

"let me drive you then, hm? " he takes her hand and leads her back to his car, running like a little kid making her giggle and also receive glares from others in the park.

he keeps his hand on her thigh the whole ride, squeezing it every now and then. let's just say they both returned to their homes filled with ecstasy.

masterlist.

#enhypen #enhypen smut #jake smut #jake sim

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beanghostprincess · 26 days

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Was reading your Sabosanuso posts and OMG- I'M OBCESSED WITH THEM !!

(So now I'm thinking about a mix with the AU where Sanji and the ASL meet during childhood, and a little angst of course)

Sanji and ASL meet during childhood and Sabosan have a crush on each other, Sabo dies etc. So, during pre-ts Usopp and Sanji... start to fall in love with each other, and this makes Sanji confused bc he never stoped having this "crush" for Sabo but- but fells nice feeling this again.

Timeskip happens and they still love each other, and Usopo really thinks that maybe he "can win Sanji's heart, but then- Sabo comes to visit the StrawHats and y'know, Sabosan have the chance the see each other and the crew discovers about Sanji knowing Luffy And his brothers since a kid. Usopp knows Sanji loves Sabo the moment he sees the look the cook gives the older guy, and this breaks his heart, because of course Sanji would love someone like Sabo and not him!

But- he starts to talk with Sabo and- wow. He- he can understand now. He ends up talking with Sabo about Sanji somehow and discovers the rev also loves Sanji and for him it's over, he knows how this will end (with Sabosan happy and together, and not him with Sanji).

So Sabosan happens and Usopp is... sad but also happy bc- because Sanji's happy. But what he don't know is that Sabo and Sanji are deeply in love with him, and talking about asking him out. So one night Sabo calls Usopp to the kitchen bc he and Sanji want to talk with him and tell him they're in love with him.

Usopp, who was falling in love with Sabo and already in love with Sanji, who was intenting to stop this feeling, definitely is surprised, but it's a good surprise so he will not complain.

Aghhh I love this so so so so much.

Usopp is jealous of Sabo at first but then he gets to know him and feels guilty for even being mad at him because he is a total sweetheart. He gets why Sanji likes him. And he understands why, of course, Sabo is in love with Sanji. So he lets it happen without getting in the way of their relationship but it's killing him a bit. He thinks he doesn't have any chances with them, so he gives up.

But I can totally imagine Sabo not giving a single fuck about labels or monogamy and Sanji being all worried to tell him about his feelings for Usopp,, Until he realizes Sabo doesn't care and actually he likes Usopp too, and it's a constant:

Sabo: Okay, so we tell him today?

Sanji: Yes! No! I mean. Yes. Of course. Wait, no! Not ready-

And Sabo has to deal with Sanji coming to terms with telling Usopp because he's scared of whether Usopp will feel the same, but Sabo KNOWS Usopp feels the same. Sanji is acting stupid.

They end up dating, though, of course. Sabo manages to calm down Sanji and convince him to confess and invite Usopp to their relationship. I think the funny part is when Sabo says something like "we don't have to do anything, if you just want to be with Sanji, that is completely alright to me-" and Usopp goes "No! I- I mean. Hahaha. God Usopp wouldn't mind gracing you with his love and- And all. Hahaha. Also, I really like you too-".

And that is how these three idiots start dating and being the most annoying clingiest throuple in the sea.

#sorry for the late reply i've been busy and trying to answer all the asks but it's hard 😭#they mean the world to me #they're so sillyyyyy #living in my head rent freeeee #one piece #black leg sanji #usopp #revolutionary sabo #sanuso #sabosan #sabosopp #sabosanuso #ask-bean!

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majesty-madness · 2 years

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“Finally” - Post Timeskip!Atsumu Miya x reader (sfw)

Summary: For the first time, Y/N decides to stop hesitating and go after what she wants or rather, who she wants.

Word Count: 5200+

Warnings: slight angst, breaking up, parting as friends, good memories, confessions, clichés, sickeningly sweet, romance out the ass, fluff, kissing, fluffy ending

a/n: not proofread. I created the character “Taro” for this specific one-shot, he’s not a character in the show or anything like that. I just wanted to throw it out there. And P.S. I tried to make this a good one even though I was struggling, hope somebody enjoys it.

Sequel: “Finally and After” - Post Timeskip!Atsumu Miya x reader (sfw)

Main Masterlist

She wasn’t entirely sure when she’d started to notice it.

The fact that her heart didn’t flutter around her boyfriend the way she imagined it was supposed to. It wasn’t to say she felt nothing for him, but it never was what she thought it was going to be.

When she had asked Taro if he wanted to be her boyfriend, she had been delighted that he said yes. She even jumped into his arms with a grin gracing her face.

But now that they had graduated high school and were now moving onto their own careers, Y/N didn’t picture a future with him. Whenever she would try, it always came up blank. At first, she thought there was something wrong with how things were going in their relationship so she had planned a date on the weekend.

Taro seemed happy to be going out and so they spent their whole Saturday at the park for a picnic date.

It was a fun time, they laughed and joked around, even horsed around a little but when it was over, she felt the same. It felt as though she had spent a casual day with a friend.

Y/N beat herself up for days about what it was she was missing or why she didn’t feel all lovey dovey like other couples were. She was so utterly confused until she bumped into an old classmate of her’s: Atsumu Miya.

It was by chance, and she totally wasn’t expecting him to be anywhere except the gym but here he was. When their eyes connected, he grinned, exclaiming her name as he ran over to gather her in his arms.

She giggled when he hugged her then proceeded to lift her off the ground as she wrapped her arms back around him.

While she would stop by the gym to hang out with the team, it had been far too long since she had done it so she understood his enthusiasm to see her; she was happy to see him too.

They shopped together, chatting about what they had been up to recently, how things were going, stuff like that. It was all going so smoothly until Atsumu, sounding forced, asked how her boyfriend was doing.

Y/N had stopped in the middle of an aisle, her mind suddenly lost to her as she thought about what to say. It should’ve been an easy answer.

‘He’s doing fine!’ or maybe ‘We’re doing great, we’re happy!’

But those weren’t her true thoughts.

Instead of voicing her thoughts, she opted for a little white lie. “He’s doing good, everything's good.”

She put on a smile, one that she wasn’t even convinced by but Atsumu didn’t push her to elaborate.

They’d parted ways as soon as they stepped out of the store, giving each other one last hug before walking off in different directions.

After that incident, Y/N knew exactly why she didn’t feel that romantic with her current boyfriend: she was in love with Atsumu.

The realization of it caused her to break out into a fit of tears when she got home that night. She locked herself inside her bedroom, wailing out in guilt of being in love with someone else while in a relationship.

She hated herself for it. She really did, and thinking back on it, she probably was always in love with Atsumu but had no clue to her own feelings. That’s how oblivious she’d been.

But no longer would she drag this out, now that she understood exactly what was going on. Y/N made a decision, she would set Taro free, leaving him to decide how his life would go on without her.

It was the best thing for both of them. ________

Y/N stood nervously at the very spot that she asked Taro to be her boyfriend.

The setting brought a smile on her face as she thought back to how excited she had been. She remembered grinning ear to ear, and jumping into his arms at the prospect of being in a relationship with him. However, now the happiness of this spot was turning sour at the reality of breaking up with him.

He deserved better, she had rationalized. He deserved to be with someone who would love him no matter what; something she was unable to provide.

“Y/N!” She heard a voice shout from a distance.

She jerked her head up from the wet ground to see Taro quickly approaching her. He stopped right in front of her, bending over a bit to rest his hands to his knees.

“Sorry, I’m a little late! My boss wanted me to look over some transcripts for a quick sec.”

Y/N nervously smiled to reassure him (and possibly herself), “No it’s okay, I’ve only been here a few minutes.”

“So..” Taro whipped himself back up to stand straight. “What did you want to talk about?”

“Uh…” She opened her mouth to say something before closing it again. She did that a few more times then tugged on his sleeve, tipping her head toward a bench a few feet away. “Uh..let’s sit down, yeah?”

Taro raised a brow at her behavior, but went along with it. “Okay.”

They sat down on the bench, knees just barely brushing against each other, the icy fall wind kissing their skin.

Taro had opted to look over at Y/N as she kept her eyes forward, hands nervous messing around in her lap.

“Taro, I um…” Her heart thundered in her chest, forehead becoming slick with sweat. “First off, I want you to know that I am very grateful for everything you’ve done for me over the past two years. You got me through some of the toughest moments of my life; moments I don’t think I would’ve bounced back from if you hadn’t been there.”

“I feel the same, Y/N. You really helped me through highschool.” Taro reciprocated, tone genuine.

“I’m happy I got to be there for you, Taro. I am.” Y/N smiled as she glanced up at him for a second.

Taro smiled back at her, taking a deep breath that wavered; indicating that he was picking up on her nervousness which caused him to become anxious himself.

“And I will continue to be there for you, no matter what, if that’s what you want.” She admitted, then sighed causing the smile she had to slip away from her face. “But Taro, I think…I think we should break up.”

When the words left her lips, she glued her gaze away from the empty sidewalk in front of them to peer at Taro’s expression.

She had imagined this scenario so many times, and so many times his face would reflect hurt.

In her imagination, his eyes would fill with tears before they burned with a white hot rage. He had never been that angry with her, but she always thought of the worst situations.

AND she was preparing to see that face now, however, when her eyes landed on his, he didn’t look anything like that.

Instead, his eyes were squinted from the understanding smile tilting his lips upwards. “I think that’s a good idea.”

Her eyes widened as the words set in. “You do?”

Taro nodded, intertwining his fingers together. “I know we’ve been together for a couple of years, since our second year in high school, and it’s been great. But I think we both know that there’s someone else you have feelings for.”

Y/N couldn’t believe what she was hearing. She let out a nervous chuckle, borderlining relief. “You mean you knew that I loved Atsumu?”

“It was pretty obvious. And guessing by your reaction, I think I knew before you even did.”

“Oh my god…” Y/N sighed, throwing her face into her hands. “That’s embarrassing.”

Taro laughed out loud as he patted Y/N’s shoulder. “It’s okay, I’m sure it was quite the revelation.”

Y/N felt the heat crawling into her cheeks as it sunk in. In all this time, she never once thought that he would’ve known her true feelings before she even did.

The whole time they were together, Taro had always known.

Oh..

Just then something came to her. “Wait…” She lowered her hands back to her lap, the embarrassment taking a backseat to the sudden confusion whirling in her head. “If you knew how I felt about Atsumu, why did you agree to be my boyfriend?”

“Because I knew what it was like to love someone, but not be able to be with them the way that you want even if you didn’t realize it at the time. I understood you, and you understood me, and that’s all I wanted.” Taro explained warmly, his tone never shifting to one of anger or sadness.

Y/N nodded knowingly now. “We found comfort in each other.”

“Yeah, we did.”

There was a moment of silence as the two adults gave themselves a chance to let the reality sink in. It wasn’t a bad thing by any means, it was just a way for them to think on where they would go on from here; without their relationship.

“We had fun though, right?” Y/N asked seemingly out of nowhere.

Taro laughed at the question. “Yeah, I had a lot of fun. And I liked being with you.”

“Me too.” Y/N smiled, this time patting Taro on the shoulder.

“So what are you gonna do now?”

Y/N sighed before standing up and away from the bench, looking up at the darkening sky. “I’m gonna tell him, how I feel. Whether it ends good or bad, doesn’t matter. I want to be honest with myself for a change.”

She turned back to face Taro again more, seeing a smirk on his face. He shook his head before he also stood up. “Well I guess I better be a little honest with myself too.”

“What do you mean? Is there someone you like too?”

Taro rubbed the back of his neck. “Yes. Do you remember Yuki? Yuki Amane?”

“Oh yeah, Yuki! She was president of the photography club, she’s great.” Y/N’s eyes suddenly lit up as she put it all together. “You like her, don’t you?”

“Turns out she works the same gig I do, she’s on the floor just above where I work.”

Y/N crossed her arms and smirked back at him, as he had done a few seconds earlier. “Is that so? Well I wish you luck, good sir.”

“Thanks, you too.”

Y/N’s face relaxed while she uncrossed her arms. “I hope this means we can stay friends.”

Taro nodded. “I don’t see why not.”

Y/N opened her arms out toward him. “Friends?”

He stepped forward to wrap his arms around her midsection and she did the same. “Friends.”

They took a second to enjoy the embrace then stepped back to look at each other, a smile and a light chuckle coming from them both.

“I’ll see you around, Taro.” Y/N bid farewell taking a few steps away, getting ready to leave the small park they’d been standing in.

Taro waved. “I’ll see you around.”

And with that Y/N took off down the sidewalk with only one destination in mind.

________

With a tired huff, Atsumu reached down to the bench where his towel was lying. He pulled the soft material up to his face and wiped away all the sweat rolling down his forehead and cheeks.

They had just finished up practicing, and everyone had taken a moment to catch their breath.

Wondering what time it was exactly, Atsumu picked up his phone watching the screen lit up as he did. However, the first thing his eyes landed on was not the time, but the picture of him and Y/N.

He remembered the day they took this photo; it was after an official match in their second year of highschool. Y/N had never been to a volleyball game so he invited her, and he swore as soon as he saw her up in the stands he felt his body surge with energy and he worked to his peak performance.

They won by a landslide to which the coach took them out for dinner, and Y/N ended up going with them. The entire rest of the night Y/N stuck by his side, joking and laughing along with the team and clearly enjoying herself.

Atsumu’s lips tilted up in a small smile before it disappeared upon realizing that was the only time he had her to himself.

“You have to stop doing that.” A voice suddenly spoke up. It startled Atsumu out of his daze, head snapping to his left; Sakusa was currently sitting there with a typical scowl on his face.

Atsumu huffed. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

He whipped his head away, setting his phone down before continuing to wipe himself down with his towel.

Hinata and Bokuto came jogging over as well, each of them picking up their respective towels.

“Was he staring at his phone again?” Hinata asked in between panted breaths.

“Yes. The idiot won’t stop dozing off.” Sakusa grimaced, taking a drink from his water bottle.

Atsumu flopped down, making sure to keep a good few feet away from Sakusa. “Didn’t think you paid any attention to me, Kiyoomi-san.”

“I don’t, but you’ve been laying it on rather thick as of late.” Sakusa pointed out.

Then Bokuto chimed in. “You should just go for it, man. Tell Y/N that you like her!”

“I can’t do that!” Atsumu objected, his eyes staring up at the rest of the players. “Y/N’s got a boyfriend, and as much as I want to…”

He went silent for a second as he contemplated his next words. “I can’t interfere with her relationship. Not if she’s happy.”

Hinata and Bokuto slowly look over to each other, a knowing nod being shared between them. “Wow, you really have it bad.” Hinata spoke up casually.

Before Atsumu could say anything else another voice entered the gym. “Hey guys!”

All the players whipped their heads over to the source of the voice only to see Y/N walking over to them with a smile.

“Y/N!” Hinata and Bokuto shouted at the same time as they rushed over to her.

First Hinata was the one to envelop Y/N in a hug to which she returned with a smile, then Bokuto picked her up in a hug only to spin her around. She let out a giggle as she hugged him back.

“Bokuto! I’m gonna get dizzy!”

He soon set her down, the trio smiling and laughing with one another. “It’s been so long since we’ve seen you!” Bokuto said cheerily.

“It’s been a couple of weeks.” Y/N rolled her eyes at his comment.

“A couple weeks too long.” Atsumu suddenly spoke up, now standing behind the trio; his arms opened out to her.

Y/N looked over at him, her smile growing as she quickly walked over to him and wrapped her arms tightly around his neck.

He pulled her close to him, mimicking a bit from Bokuto’s spinning hug and lifted her a few inches off the ground.

They held each other a few seconds longer than the others did before pulling away, beaming at one another.

“So what brings you here, Y/N? I thought you had a date tonight.” Sakusa asked, eyes flicking to Atsumu to gauge his reaction.

He could see the faintest of grimaces ghostly Atsumu’s lips that he quickly hid behind a fake smirk.

Y/N took a step back from Atsumu to face Sakusa, taking a deep breath. “Well there was a… change of plans so I decided to come see you guys. And I thought that maybe we could hang out, if that’s okay?”

“Are ya kidding? Of course it’s okay. You think I’d hang out with these guys if you hadn’t shown up?” Atsumu jokingly mocked the guys, as he gestured to them with his thumb.

“Oh come on, Atsumu, we all know that we’re the only ones you hang out with.” Hinata nonchalantly pointed out to him, crossing his arms.

“We’re best friends man, don’t throw us to the curb!” Bokuto exclaimed, flinging an arm over his eyes as if to cover up his ‘teary eyes.’

Y/N laughed out loud at the two, her own eyes getting actually teary from the ridiculousness of the two.

“So what did you have in mind, Y/N?” Sakusa asked to draw attention away from the bumbling idiots.

“I thought we could pick up meat buns and drinks from the convenience shop down the block, then hang out at the nearest park.” She said in between fits of giggles and wiping the tears from her eyes.

Hinata and Bokuto pulled a 180, completely ignoring and rushing over in front of Y/N. “Meat buns?!”

“Whoo hoo!” Bokuto shouted, jumping into the air. Hinata had hopped up at the same time causing them to high five in mid air.

“Aww, what about me?” Atsumu chimed in.

Y/N scoffed at his question. “Atsumu, I said we, meaning all of us including you. Now hurry and get change, I wanna hurry and get some of those meat buns before they get cold.”

“She's right, guys! Let’s go!” Hinata shouted while already sprinting across the gym toward the locker room. Bokuto followed hot on his trail, and the two of them disappeared into the hallway.

“God, those two are so annoying sometimes.” Sakusa grumbled, walking out of the gym instead of running.

Now Atsumu and Y/N were the only ones in the gymnasium.

Atsumu stared at her fondly, admiring the small smile every present on her delicate features and when she looked back up at him, he forced his knees not to buckle right there and then.

“I uh..” He stammered a split second, then composed himself. “I’m really glad you’re here, Y/N. I missed ya.”

Her eyes narrowed in that fluffy and loving way as she peered up to him, “I missed you too.”

They kept their gaze on one another when Y/N lightly nudged him on the arm. “Now go get changed, or the others will leave without you.”

“Alright, alright…” He laughed as he finally made his way out.

Y/N opted to wait in the lobby of the gym, scrolling through her phone at pictures on Pinterest. She waited probably about twenty minutes when the conglomerate voices of the MSBY players came rushing down the hall.

As soon as they’d caught a glimpse of each other, they broke off in an excited tizzy, bursting out the doors and heading the street, all except for Sakusa who kept as calm as ever as they headed to the convenience store.

It took only a couple of minutes to reach the store; they grabbed their meat buns and drinks then headed out. Y/N made sure to pay for each one of them, at the behest of the team who kept insisting that they could pay for themselves.

However, Y/N was having none of it. She reasoned that since she was the one to suggest they hang out, she should be the one to buy the snacks.

They weren’t satisfied with that, but they let her buy them anyway, saying they’d pay her back.

Y/N shook her head. After that, they walked to the park in even less time as it was literally just a few steps away.

They chilled out at a wooden park table with the attached seats, joking around, playfully fighting with each other, talking about nothing and everything at the same time.

Nearly the entire time, Atsumu kept his eyes on Y/N, watching her every smile and attentive to every laugh she let slip. He enjoyed the conversation, clearly not ignoring his friends but he really loved being with her even if there were others around.

The fact they were friends somehow gave him the courage to just be himself around her.

This reminded him once again of their after match dinner; her first match and his first real love.

After a couple of hours, Sakusa was the first one to excuse himself from the gang. He said that they still had practice in the morning and he didn’t want to stay up late so he left shortly after saying so.

And with another half hour, the four of them decided they should probably start heading back too.

They headed out of the park, walking home, and still talking on the way. Y/N took note that Atsumu had been constantly standing next to her even now; it made her heart race.

“Yeah, I remember this one time Kageyama and I raced each other and we ran so far that we ended up getting lost.” Hinata admitted as he laughed at the memory.

Y/N snickered at the comment. “Yeah, that’s not surprising. You get lost a lot, Hinata.”

Bokuto bursted out laughing, and Hinata just looked back offended. “Hey! I don’t get lost all of the time, just… some of the time.”

“Face it, you have no sense of direction.” Atsumu teased, propping his hands on his hips.

They all stopped in the middle of the sidewalk as Hinata fully turned to face Atsumu, brows pinched in annoyance.

“That’s not what you say during official matches; you said I was you’re “go to man’!”

“Volleyball and real life are too different things. If you lose your direction in volleyball, you could just earn the point back, but if you get lost in the real world, you could end up in an entirely different prefecture.” Atsumu continued to tease causing Y/N to giggle into her hand as she tried to keep quiet.

“What do you know about ‘real life,’ Atsumu? The only real life thing you’ve ever done is move out of your parent’s house.”

Atsumu loudly huffed at her. “Don’t say that, I’m a famous athlete. That counts!”

Y/N patted him on the shoulder, “But only a few individuals actually become as famous as you all have, so no, I’m afraid it doesn’t.”

“Fine. Whatever.” Atsumu pouted, crossing his arms as he turned his head away from her.

Suddenly, a loud ringing came from Bokuto’s phone. He ripped his phone out from his pocket to look at the shining screen.

“Oh crap, I forgot I set an alarm.” He mumbled out.

“Since when do you set alarms for yourself, Bokuto?” Y/N asked who looked most surprised, and slightly impressed.

Bokuto nodded, pressing a button to shut off the loud noise. “Yeah, since I have a hard time getting to bed on time, Akaashi recommended I start setting alarms to remind myself that I need sleep to survive.”

Y/N bobbed her head up and down in silent acknowledgement of what he was saying. “That’s… that’s actually awesome, man. I’m so proud of you!”

He bashfully grinned, resting his hands on his hips. “Thank you!”

Then Bokuto relaxed, arms falling back to his sides. “Anyway, I need to get going so I’ll see you guys later.”

Y/N and Atsumu bid him farewell but were shouted over top of by Hinata. “Wait, Bokuto! I left my lunch box at your place, can I come over and grab it real quick?”

“Oh yeah, I forgot about that; yeah, sure you can.”

“Thanks, man.” The two began to walk off when Hinata turned back to Y/N. “Oh hey, Y/N, do you want us to walk you home? I know your place isn’t far from here.”

Atsumu peered down at Y/N, anticipating what she was gonna say and prayed that she would say no. Except he knew that was unlikely, most times when Hinata or Bokuto or both of them asked if she wanted company back home, she always said-

“No thanks, I’m gonna stick around with Atsumu for a little while longer. I wanted to talk to him about something.”

The fake blonde’s eyes nearly popped out of skull when those words left her mouth; he silently wondered if he was in trouble somehow that made Y/N want to talk to him alone.

His mind was then desperately thinking of everything he had done over the past few weeks, trying to remember anything that could’ve upset her.

However, his friends had a different reaction; they cast knowing looks at each other, a smirk growing on each of their faces but trying to hide it (not so subtly).

Hinata was the first to speak after that. “Oh, okay~ Well you have yourselves a good night then.”

Then Bokuto, “Don’t let us keep you from spending a little time together. Alone.”

And with much giggling amongst themselves, they walked away, leaving Y/N and Atsumu alone.

“They really lay it on thick, don’t they?” Y/N pointedly asked.

“Y-yeah, they do.” He swallowed thickly, a sudden nervousness enveloping his body.

Y/N rubbed Atsumu’s shoulder, “There’s no need to be so nervous, you’re not in trouble or anything.”

She could see him visibly relax. “Can’t help it, whenever Hinata and Bokuto asked to walk you home, you’ve always said yes. You don’t usually want to talk alone.”

Y/N’s smile faded as she was reminded of what she’d been planning to do all night. “Well what I’m about to say I don’t want anyone else to hear but you.”

“What do you mean?”

Y/N took several steps forward, away from Atsumu's side, and took a deep breath to steady her nerves. She closed her eyes, searching for some kind of comfort for her rapidly beating heart, finding none and her brain instead pushing her to just say it.

“Um..you know I-uh..I broke up with my boyfriend tonight.”

Atsumu’s mouth fell open and eyes opened wide at her confession.

The first thought his brain jumped to was that now he had a chance to be with her, to be there for her like he always wanted but as soon as that thought crossed in mind it was immediately pushed out.

The logical side of himself, as small as it might have been, suddenly shouted at the top of its lungs. He couldn’t actually be considering moving in on her when she trusted him enough to tell him about her break-up.

She had to be vulnerable right now, and what kind of person takes advantage of someone like that.

So Atsumu swallowed his desire, and forced out the only thing that he could think of. “I’m sorry. Are you okay?”

Without turning around Y/N nodded, eyes staring at the starry sky. “Yeah, I’m okay, but in all honesty that’s not what I wanted to talk about.”

“Then what did you want to talk about?”

Finally, she turned around, a stark smile contrasting the current topic. “The reason why we break-up. And the reason is you.”

If he wasn’t shocked before he definitely was now. His face went from shocked to joy to confusion.

What did that mean?

“I-I don’t understand.” The usually charismatic volleyball player stuttered out.

“I know that this may seem totally random, but I need to tell you. I’ve been in love with you for a while.” Y/N confessed, eyes feeling as though they were glued to his frozen body.

“The funny thing is that I didn’t even realize it, I mean maybe on some level I did, but it wasn’t until recently that I figured what it was my true feelings were.” Her hands became sweaty, lungs finding it difficult to capture any oxygen.

“I am sorry for not saying anything sooner, but I had found comfort in Taro, and was content with him, but he wasn’t the one I loved. It was you, Atsumu.” She couldn’t help the enormous smile spreading across her lips when she got all the words out.

“It was always you and I want to be with you. If you’ll have me.”

Atsumu continued to stand there completely frozen by the sudden admission of her love for him.

He heard what she said, understood it, however it was like he couldn’t process it all at once. For a moment, he considered the possibility that he was asleep right now and he’d wake up back in his bed with disappointment floating in his chest because honestly! How often had he imagined this exact scenario?

Y/N standing in front of him, telling him that he was the one she wanted as he wanted her. Too many to count.

But it was real, and when Y/N’s smile faded he knew he needed to do something.

“Atsumu? Are you okay?”

Her voice finally knocked him out of his stupor causing him to blink a few times, and close his mouth.

His golden eyes trailed over her figure for a few seconds and then he was racing toward her.

The abrupt movement startled Y/N for a moment, but before she knew it Atsumu was cupping her face in his hands and pulled her into him with one swift motion.

Their lips molded together like clay, a missing piece to the puzzle finally coming together to complete the picture.

Y/N relaxed as the warmth from his lips flowed through her body, her hands coming up to hold his face in return and the soft texture of his skin left her head spinning.

God, if she’d known this is what it would’ve been like to kiss him, she would have confessed earlier.

Atsumu continued to excitedly move his lips in sync with Y/N, every second, every sensation making his heart thunder in his ears.

This felt so right, like a part of who he was had now come back to make him whole again.

After a few glorious seconds of kissing, they pulled away leaving a wet smack of their departing lips in their wake.

They heaved out a couple of panted breaths and then beamed at each other, a soft laugh echoing between them.

“Fuck. You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to do that.” Atsumu admitted, with no bashfulness to be found.

“I think I have an inkling.” That caused Atsumu to lean down and peck her cheek, hands falling from her face to rest on her back.

“I can’t believe this is happening right now.” The volleyball player said as he took a deep breath.

Y/N placed her hands to his broad shoulders. “Me either, but I’m glad it is.”

“Yeah, for sure.”

They stayed silent for a moment when Atsumu spoke again.

“I hope you realize what you’ve gotten yourself into because I’m never letting you go.” He said as he pushed a loose strand of hair from Y/N’s cheek.

She giggled. “Oh I’m counting on it, mister big shot athlete.”

He swiftly stepped to the side, wrapping one arm around her shoulders. “And I’m going to be taking you on so many dates; gotta make up for lost time.”

They began to walk down the sidewalk once more, Y/N happily holding onto his arm as they did. “I look forward to it.”

#haikyuu!!#hq #hq x reader #haikyu x reader #atsumu x reader #atsumu miya x reader #atsumu miya #fem!reader #female reader #hq imagines #hq oneshot

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