#is obviously understandable as a triggering sentiment

[sp1resong]

why does the concept of determinism trigger my ocd. that's so fucking stupid

[yanderes-galore]

Romantic Nanami(JJK) concept?

I can try, sure! Hope you enjoy him :) I had trouble writing his character as I guess I didn't connect with him as much as others? But I still enjoy him.

Yandere! Kento Nanami Concept

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Overprotective/Possessive behavior, Manipulation, Stalking, Degrading behavior, Isolation, Childish punishment, Forced relationship.

Nanami doesn't seem like the type of person who easily gets attached to people.

He's learned that's a poor choice since he was young.

In fact, his youth was stolen from him due to his role as a sorcerer.

He's reserved and often not emotional/sentimental.

He's blunt and doesn't mince words.

So I imagine manipulation with him is the same, no flowery language or words to soften the blow.

He'd just be blunt and state you need him or something similar.

He'd be strict and serious, not expressing much weakness or emotion.

He's hard to read and can be an intimidating yandere.

Which would make Nanami another yandere who's unpredictable in this universe.

Except for him... it's because he rarely shows emotion or what he's thinking at all.

He's not necessarily possessive in my eyes... but he's certainly protective and I wouldn't doubt it if he was isolating too.

Nanami would believe all he does for you is for your own good.

So every person he scares off, every curse he gets rid of, every lock he places on your gilded cage by his side...

All to keep you safe... and hopefully happy.

He's quick to irritate which doesn't help with his strict behavior.

He seems like the type of yandere to scold his darling like a child, even when they're in a relationship.

You could be a sorcerer just like him... and he treats you like you'll die without him.

In a way, you can excuse this as him being scared to lose you like he's lost so many others.

But he still shouldn't do this... part of him knows that.

If you weren't a sorcerer then he tries his hardest to shield you from such a life.

If you were, it's like he wants you to quit.

Nanami would always watch you like a stern hawk.

As though you'll get hurt if he doesn't.

Sometimes he's sociable but often he prefers to just stay... reserved.

You are one of the only ones he really bothers to talk to that doesn't seem forced.

He's fond of you, really is, but is obviously not the most sentimental person.

Even as a partner he seems to act suffocating.

It's like a parent watching a child sometimes.

You can tell him off about this, complain he doesn't give you enough credit.

You can try to convince him you can take care of yourself.

But he just... refuses to believe it.

Nanami's affection is often silent.

Things like quiet (yet tight) hugs along with kisses.

While Nanami can be condescending, he's loving in his own way.

He seems like the type to want his spouse to be a house spouse.

Big house with security, you staying home all the time, it would soothe a lot of his stresses...

Plus, coming home to you would make him feel a lot better.

He likes the idea of a traditional life.

Maybe no kids, but you at home, and him coming to spoil you when he's home.

Would Nanami kidnap? Not really.

I feel it's a bit too out of character for him and his yandere type.

He's a yandere who lurks in the background of your life primarily before eventually confronting you.

He'd use manipulation but it's often taken as concern or orders.

For example, if he asks you to stay around him due to the Curse activity in the area, you'd most likely listen as you trust him.

Even more so when he becomes your boyfriend.

You may even understand his concern and not register it as toxic.

In a world where Curses exist around every corner, you understand when Nanami expresses concern.

Although, it can quickly start getting toxic when he removes your independence... "to keep you safe."

He does this by offering you to move into his home or convincing you to quit your job.

Would Nanami get jealous? He isn't very... open about it.

Like most emotions he tends to not show it.

It would be very subtle cues like clenching a fist or gripping a table.

He doesn't trust many around you but tolerates it.

Only because he knows you're his when you get home.

While he's mostly overprotective, a subtle feeling of possessiveness is hinted at in his actions.

Things like tight holds or rough kisses when you're alone show that in him.

Nanami doesn't entirely tolerate you fighting with him.

Arguments occur at times, especially when Nanami tries to coax you into giving up your independence.

He thinks you're being childish at times when in reality he's the one being paranoid.

Nanami may also punish you like a child, which just makes things more degrading.

Stupid things like, you sit in your room kinda thing (or spanking I guess).

Nanami no doubt means well... in his eyes.

But he takes it too far, unfortunately.

Would Nanami murder rivals? No.

He knows he's insane for being a Sorcerer (and keeping you in your shared home) but he draws the line at... petty murder.

The most he does is keep you at your shared home and away from people.

He feels that's where you're safest... and it reassures him you're his.

He shows his appreciation through affection... maybe even gifts.

He does seem like he'd buy you gifts, be that clothes or items he thinks you'll like.

Holding you close is comfort to him, his stresses melting easily in your presence.

His biggest issue is he's just overprotective... right?

It's not like he isolates you to keep you to himself, right?

He's... He's just concerned, right?

Giving you gifts and affection isn't to distract you, is it?

Nanami just wants you safe from potential danger because he cares...

He'd never isolate you for any other reason... right?

[krems-chair]

I wanted Solas to be able to steal your companions (or at least some of them) away from you

On my first playthrough I genuinely thought that the test of your leadership abilities was going to be if you could keep your team together despite the machinations of the Dread Wolf himself. Obviously that was not the case, but I like the idea enough still that I want to share it now!

(Idk if I should tag this as a critique or not because while it IS me saying I wish the game had done this, that sentiment is also like. The extent of the displeasure you will hear from me in this particular post. So instead, I'll just put the divider in and give everyone a heads up now that while I am about to descend into a spiral about something I think would have been cool, me describing the cool thing I would have liked is not peppered with hate and might therefore still be fun for you to read. )

My brain went off the rails the first time I heard Harding tell Rook and Neve that Solas can go into people's dreams and kill them. (Which, was this something we learned in Inquisition/Trespasser and I missed it? I totally probably did if that's the case because I did not do a replay before jumping into Veilguard, but that line freaked me out when I first heard it lol I was like "since when?!").

While Rook assures both that they're a-okay, all good, it's just a little bid of blood magic, I thought we had just been blessed with some hella foreshadowing. Based on:

-My belief that Solas was going to have followers at his disposal

-The knowledge that he likes to mirror people and give them what they're dishing out

-Him telling Rook that once he found out they were pursuing him, he did his research

-My belief that reminiscent of other games, low approval could result in companions turning on you/leaving the party/speaking against you

I thought that Rook was going to learn that at some point in the game, Solas approached the Veilguard companions in their dreams and tried to sway them either to join him or abandon their leader. And I think there was a lot of opportunity for this to work really well.

Lucanis is perhaps the easiest example to work with here, but there's potential with all the companions because all of them can relate to Solas' experiences.

Solas, through communications in the dreams of his followers or through snooping through Lucanis' himself, would have been interested in the parallel the two share of "extreme loyalty to an important woman in their life that they look up to and take orders from" when it comes to Mythal and Caterina. Solas also knows what it's like to be gone from the world as you understand it to be for a long time and struggle with the adjustment to come back. It would have been wild to find out that he inserted himself as an interested party who sympathizes with Lucanis' struggle and had slowly been showing him all the reasons he shouldn't put all his faith in Rook while playing as a supportive mentor to Rook at the exact same time.

I think depending on how Rook handled Spite, it would have been interesting at either high approval to have Lucanis be like "hey I just want you to know that Spite caught Solas snooping around in my head last night and we shut him tf out" or a low approval Lucanis being convinced that there's no place for him at the Lighthouse/he isn't understood/is too feared and that he needs to try and help through other means. That, consequently, would create some additional difficulty when it comes to trying to kill Ghilan'nain or gain loyalty with the Crows.

And obviously him going for every single companion would have been hard to do or made the game repetitive, so maybe if at a certain point in the game it just took your companions with the lowest approval and triggered Solas attempting to sway them, that would be fun and add an element of replayability. And if you manage to raise their approval enough after getting kind of a warning-sign cutscene where they're more frustrated with Rook than usual, they then tell you "hey yeah I heard from him but I shut him out."

For brevity so that this doesn't go on forever:

-He could have very easily nerded out with Emmrich and convinced him that the world he wants is what's best for the spirits (especially since he does genuinely believe this)

-He could have come to Neve and been like "you don't have to like me because I did kill Varric, but you do love your city, don't you? As I loved mine? And wouldn't you do anything for it?" (especially if Rook saves Treviso over Minrathous)

-He could have promised Taash a place amongst his followers where they don't have to hide their fire/potentially shared some compelling truth he learned in his nerd travels about fire-breathers that they, craving more about their identity, would be tempted by

-He could have tried to play on Davrin's sympathies for the griffons and shared that all he wants is to create a world in which those he harmed have a chance to be at their fullest capacity once more, especially after its revealed that the wardens abused the griffons and then hid from their history. (Now, Davrin is a king and I see him being very hard to persuade even at low approval, but I didn't want to exlude him)

-With Bellara, I mean come on. He is the least sinister of the old elves running around, and she has always craved questions. Knowledge about Arlathan is one of the strongest connections she has with Cyrian. I also think he might try and argue that Rook could have spent more time/energy towards rescuing Cyrian, OR offered her information on the Forgotten Ones that would save him in exchange for her assistance

-Finally, I think it would have been cool if Harding is the only companion Solas actually refuses to try and sway regardless of their approval with Rook. Much in the same way Varric didn't nickname her because he feared her, I'd like to think Solas would know that having fucked with the dwarves enough, she's off-limits to manipulate because he regrets his actions so much. It would have been a cool way to actually explore that part of the narrative a little more, especially because I personally think (especially if you don't have Cadash in the game or a dwarven Rook) someone deserved to have a tough discussion with him, and given Harding's quest line, it would make sense to be her. Assuming she survives past Ghilan'nain's death, I think a cutscene while Rook is in the fade of him coming to her when we know she wants to believe that he can be saved or else it's all for nothing (I can't remember the exact quote right now, so apologies if I'm way off) and them having a really meaningful conversation about the Titans and the rage she holds would have been cool, especially since they did know each other and fight for the Inquisition together.

So yeah, just some thoughts I've had brewing, that's all.

[eternal-echoes]

“If using a person's new pronouns or name could make them feel affirmed and loved, why would any Christian refuse to do so? One reason is that if refusing to use a person's set of preferred pronouns would make them feel suicidal, it's a fair indication that there are much deeper issues going on in the individual's life that may need attention. Obviously, if a person is in such a fragile state, one needs to act in a compassionate manner and avoid triggering unnecessary distress in them. One man who experiences gender dysphoria noted, "If you're not going to accept someone's pronouns, then you need to find ways to try a lot harder to listen, meet them where they are at, and show that you want to get to know them and love them." However, to unhesitatingly endorse everyone's preferred pronoun is to overlook that words express more than courtesy and inclusion. Language can convey sentiments of kindness, but it can also be used to sculpt ontology and anthropology. Words should express the truth of the person, and to change a person's pronouns is to call into question the very nature of what it means to be male and female. According to postmodern thought, language doesn't need to describe reality because it has the power to shape it. This is why it has been said that "All social engineering is preceded by verbal engineering."(14)

If parents address their daughter by male pronouns, it endorses the idea that sex can be divorced from one's identity and conveys the falsehood that she isn't her sex. This contradicts the truth of the sexual unity of the human person. What might have been intended as an act of charity—to use a new set of pronouns-reinforces a false identity. Therefore, using incorrect pronouns could be harmful to children and to others, who might think that a person's sexual identity is subjective and malleable.

If parents want to affirm the truth of their daughter's identity and help her to embrace her authentic self, they will lovingly help her to accept her whole being, including her body. They will help her to see that she doesn't need to hurt her body to be her authentic self. Nor does she need to fit into a rigid box defined by gender stereotypes. Rather, she can bear God's image to the world in a unique and personally distinct way. If the parents hold fast to these beliefs and refuse to use their daughter's new pronouns, it might create immediate tension and resentment. However, it could be argued that if they do not hold fast to the truth and speak it in love to their daughter, she's likely to feel much greater resentment toward them later in her life, for having failed to challenge her beliefs. Odds are, many people will use any set of pronouns she wishes to adopt, but very few will love her enough to question these changes.”

-Jason Evert, Male, Female, or Other: A Catholic Guide to Understanding Gender

—

Work cited:

14) William Smith, "You Do the Truth in Love," interview with John Mallon, in Sooner Catholic, Archdiocese of Oklahoma City, June 4, 1995.

—

For more recommended resources on gender dysphoria, click here.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for getting upset at my best friend for calling me a hoarder in passing?

My (29NB) best friend (also 29NB) have been going through major crises lately at the same time—we will call them Sun. So, yesterday, they sent me a text, when we weee talking about how they haven’t wanted to be over at my house for a while, mostly bc they don’t like my partner…although the subject was in discussion bc my partner and I are splitting up, and I will be living alone again in a couple months. At some point in this discussion, they mentioned the more pressing matter that’s caused them not to be over as much is that they are very allergic to one of my cats—but only the one I just adopted a couple years ago, they’ve had no allergy issues w the other one and they love her very much, she is their niece.

However, at one point, they mentioned that a few years ago, when I was using drugs a lot more irresponsibly than usual—to the point where I got injured from falling down the stairs—they had been speaking to my other close friends. Which is appreciated, and I knew about this already obviously since there was an intervention that happened around that time…the way they mentioned this was upsetting. Specifically, they mentioned that “they approached [other friend of mine] about my drug use bc they thought I was becoming a hoarder” and that MAJORLY triggered me—specifically the hoarder comment. The woman who gave birth to me/raised me is a hoarder, which is a well known fact to just about anyone who is close to me irl, especially anyone who’s known her irl, and ESPECIALLY Sun, who worked as her caregiver for quite a while. Also being compared to/told I am just like my abusive egg donor is the thing that will hurt me the most, bc she is the most cruel, manipulative, abusive people I’ve ever had in my life.

So the thing is, my house is indeed very messy…I have too much junk around, and it’s very difficult for me physically to keep anything clean. It’s actually one of the reasons I’m separating from my partner, and as ashamed as I am about it, I understand. However, it’s not a hoarding disorder at all—I don’t hold onto anything I don’t need out of sentimentality, and if I could wave a magic wand and simply get rid of all the extra shit I don’t need/make everything nice and clean, I would. Unfortunately, I am very disabled with too many chronic pain/fatigue conditions, and actually cleaning the house/sorting through shit to get rid of takes immense physical effort. But whenever someone offers to help me, I jump at those opportunities! I take things to be donated all the time (if I’m able to sort through the stuff that needs to go) and it’s entire worlds different than my egg donor refusing to give up several bins of my baby clothes bc she can’t bear to part with them, despite them never seeing use in her possession ever again.

So, I responded to Sun’s mention of a past conversation thinking I’m a hoarder, with offense and saying it hurt me. We had been discussing just downsizing and how we will be going through my stuff as we pack for the new place, and had mentioned that I should make sure to get rid of certain clothing things if they have holes/are worn out/whatever, which to me, sounded like they think I have a hard time throwing clothes away even if they’re not even wearable anymore. With that and the hoarding accusation in mind, I told them I was very hurt by this. I made sure to be respectful and kind yet assertive, but after explaining how this was an unfair assumption/description of me, they got upset and said I should’ve asked for clarification before coming at them.

Now, do me, I wouldn’t have even considered they meant anything other than how I interpreted it, so it would never have even occurred to me to ask for clarification if I’m not even aware there’s a miscommunication. Apparently, the reason they mentioned getting rid of clothes that have been too worn out is an issue they have themselves, but this isn’t anything I was ever aware of, and once again never would’ve thought was referring to anyone but me. They also say they’re aware that it’s my physical difficulties that make cleaning physically painful for me…but honestly, that’s not anywhere near the same as having a hoarding disorder, which is indeed what they’d accused me of.

Of course, I know the both of us overreacted—me, being offended about being accused of being a hoarder (especially since my immense difficulty cleaning the house is part of why I’m separating from my partner and is therefore something I’m incredibly sensitive about right now) and them, being offended that I took what they said wrong and being upset over some things they didn’t actually intend w what they said…but I’m just not sure if maybe I AM in the wrong here, for expressing being hurt by being called a hoarder here, or if I really am making the entire thing a big deal out of nothing.

So, AITA for voicing my offense at being called a hoarder?

What are these acronyms?

[imagining-in-the-margins]

Hi, Pom, hope you’re doing okay. I wanted to know what are your thoughts on this ‘some people write Spencer so out of character and take out all his autistic traits and portray him as someone he’s not, especially during sex’ discourse.

Personally I think those people don’t understand his character very well and don’t see how much he changes through the seasons but I also know that everyone perceives characters differently so there isn’t a correct way to write him.

But I’m curious about your thoughts on it. I’ve seen some comments about the topics a writer prefers to write about (again, specially with smut) and I think they can be harmful for other writers (I’ve also noticed most come from adults that aren’t in their 20s yet so that says something too 😅)

I feel like I rambled too much but I hope I’ve made my point!

Much love❤️

Hi, friend! I’m doing alright, thank you for asking. As an autistic person, I obviously have quite a few personal feelings about any discourse regarding “appropriate” or “correct” behavior for an autistic person in any context. I’ll start my answer by saying that autistic people are not a monolith. We each have our own preferences, personalities, and experiences. I can only speak to my own.

I don’t actually think that anyone is reading Spencer’s character “wrong” because I don’t think the writers are entirely consistent within canon. I also don’t think anyone is obligated to acknowledge or appreciate all aspects of canon. So, I agree with you that everyone can write him however they’d like.

I also agree with you that any post disparaging other writers’ style or work is harmful and entirely unnecessary. It is mean-spirited and inappropriate. Perhaps it’s my age, but it has always been my understanding that, when you engage with a fandom, you are joined by people of all experience levels and backgrounds. There will be people with niche interests. There will be people who write things you hate. It’s inevitable.

The core of a fandom is how we handle those disagreements. I personally choose to live and let live. I see no point in hurting other people. It’s not required in order for me to enjoy my time here.

In a world where everyone is constantly tearing each other down, I would rather be a cheerleader. I would encourage others to try not to engage in these conversations and simply choose to lift up those writers you love and appreciate, instead. We’re here to have fun, after all!

P.S. It’s very silly to claim any portrayal of Spencer in a sexual situation is “out of character” because they do not ever show us his sexual behavior. Believe whatever you want to about how he would react. He’s not real. It doesn’t matter whether someone enjoys imagining him a different way. What does matter is that cruel criticisms over specific sexual preferences will hurt actual, real people. If you want to argue about sexual morality, do it somewhere else. Fandom is not the place. While I have replied to harmful sentiments before, I don’t encourage it. It will open you up to very unfortunate and often triggering interactions with strangers over a vulnerable topic. You deserve better than that. My best advice is disengage & block.

(Finally, because this is a contentious topic, I feel obligated to remind everyone of my philosophy on anonymous hate so we don’t waste each other’s time.)

[aihoshiino]

I‘m reading through Umineko atm and am at the last episode of the answers arc and that made me think a lot about ONK for some reason (or rather they‘re both occupying the same amount of brain space atm lol)

Super big fan of both and I still love ONK and many of its characters for what it tried to do, even if i really don’t enjoy the direction the ending is heading at the moment for many reasons, but one of them is the whole wrap up of the revenge-plot and Hikaru and Ai‘s relationship. I loved the 2(?) chapters where Aqua confronted Hikaru with Ai‘s timeless love letter, because it felt so human, their relationship and how deeply tragic and emotional it was but also very… real? So, to see the last few chapters flip-flop between „Kamiki is a really fascinating character with a lot of depth and deeply human“ to „He is just a mastermind manipulating liar and is just flat evil“ is really sad.

Hope it’s kinda understandable what I‘m getting at, english isn’t my first language so excuse any mistakes…

Maybe I’m just spoiled by how Umineko handled murder-mysteries and also tied those mysteries to its themes of love and relationships but, oh well.

ANON!!! I'M GRIPPING YOUR SHOULDERS!!!! THIS IS WHAT I'VE BEEN SAYING ALL THIS TIME!!!!!!

Obviously OnK even at its best doesn't quite reach the same heights as Umineko and even when the character drama and story are in their most well-realized forms, OnK's mystery is still kind of half baked lol. Which to be fairness to Akasaka, is a VERY different skillset than what he made his bread and butter doing but still. Very funny.

THAT SAID... I do think it's really fun to put Umineko and OnK in conversation with each other if only from a thematic/vibes perspective because I think they have some surprisingly similar things to say specifically about misogyny, autonomy and abuse. They were coming at it from very different directions, but they arrive at very similar places. "Lies are love" and "without love, it cannot be seen" aren't... not basically expressing the same sentiment after all.

Those similarities really do make it all the more disappointing where OnK ends up, though.

(Umineko spoilers behind the cut, as well as some trigger warnings; ROT13 filtered because the CWs themselves are also spoilers lol - traqre qlfcubevn, fhvpvqny vqrngvba, puvyq nohfr, cneragny vaprfg & pfn)

As much as I constantly joke about Ai of B-Komachi being Hoshino Ai's Beatrice, I think Hikaru is actually the most Sayocore character of Oshi no Ko which makes it so much more of a let down that OnK fumbles him like it does.

Like... Umineko lets you see Sayo at her absolute worst, the peak of her traumabrained depravity and nevertheless trusts that you will be able to look at her with love and empathize with her when the time comes and you start to see her heart. It treats her with such tender care, letting you excruciatingly understand every step she took down the path to finding the gold and blowing up the shrine until you realize that there really was no other way things could have gone for her. The environment of the Ushiromiya family is so incredibly poisonous and putrid that she was already one foot into suicidal ideation before she found out about her heritage and what Kinzo had done to her mother. Even if you can't agree with her actions, you can understand and sympathize with why she ends up taking them.

OnK... sort of seems like it's setting up to be doing this with Hikaru then takes a massive swerve?? It's bizarre. We even have an accidental parallel to EP8's "an accumulation of sins" moment during Ruby and Hikaru's first meeting where she fucking looks into the camera and is like "btw nobody is born ontologically evil, when people commit violent and antisocial acts their environments are almost always to blame" and that combined with how Aqua's first confrontation with him plays out and tbh the Movie Arc's characterization of Hikaru as a whole really makes it feel like the story wants you to see him as we're asked to see Sayo in Umineko - with love (read: empathy and an open mind).

But then ig it turns out he was, actually, ontologically evil and also has a serial killer cult??? So who even knows lol. What I wouldn't give to be able to pick Aka's brain for even 5 minutes as to wtf he even thought he was cooking with Hikaru in the end

[thanatika]

So, I got thinking about how severe the Bachelor's reaction to Simon Kain's death really is, at least on Day 1. Even before any of the horrors have really hit, he comes off as being in a pretty unstable place, mentally.

Day 1 of the Bachelor Route:

He also seems to initially entertain the idea that whoever killed Simon did so specifically to doom Daniil's research, possibly at the orders of The Powers That Be, based on the the first entry in his Day 1 quest journal:

To find out who killed the immortal Simon Kain? The dead man's family may not want it more than I do. I have an abiding desire to punish the murderer, to eradicate them, no matter if they were acting on their own account or at the behest of the Powers That Be. Whoever they were, they picked the moment far too well…

Day 1 of the Haruspex Route:

Grief will have a similar warning to Artemy if asked whether anyone is looking for him:

Big Vlad also warns Artemy away from talking to the Bachelor too early, stating that he thinks Daniil will shoot Artemy first and ask questions later. And Daniil's first conversation with Artemy, as well as the fact that many of the NPCs have voicelines commenting on the Bachelor that only trigger on Day 1, definitely helps build the impression that he's spent most of the day running around trying to hunt Artemy down without having to physically depict that in the game.

Day 1 of the Changeling route:

Notably, he makes a turnaround on this violent behavior at the end of Day 1, after realizing Simon was killed by a disease and not a person. For most of the Haruspex and Changeling routes beyond that point, he seems willing to work with the player's healer, especially Artemy. He'll vouch for them in an effort to clear their names of the murder accusations with the town's authorities, and, in Clara's case, on Day 6 will even talk about a plan to protect her from persecution by the incoming Inquisitor. I think this can be ascribed to the very strong sense of justice that Daniil seems to have, where he feels very strongly that people shouldn't be scapegoated for crimes they did not commit, but also that they should face repercussions for crimes that they did commit.

Another Day 1 example of his strong sense of justice, and his willingness to resort to violence in pursuit of it, is that when he witnesses the Herb Bride being burned alive at a stake, he can immediately threaten to shoot the perpetrators. A fairly understandable reaction, honestly, considering the horror of seeing an innocent person burned alive. But his far stronger reaction to Simon's murder obviously is about more than his general sense of justice. He sees it as the end of his own life, based on his saying "your brother's murder may as well be called the murder of Bachelor Dankovsky", him calling Simon "the person whose death has made my life meaningless", and him apparently telling Notkin that he's willing to lose his own life if it means ending the life of Simon's murderer (who he suspects is Artemy). Considering that a study on Simon was supposed to be what saved Thanatica from being destroyed, it's obvious where this sentiment is coming from. Especially when you consider his conversation on Day 7 of the Haruspex Route, when he says he'd rather kill himself than leave town without having succeeded in saving his colleagues and his research.

These... mentally concerning levels of despair over Simon's death on Day 1 are easy to forget because he gets over them fairly quickly, himself. At the end of Bachelor Route's Day 1, you get a letter from the Powers That Be stating that if Dankovsky is able to successfully curb the outbreak, he'll be granted permission to continue with his research. Which is all that he wanted out of Simon, although the loss of an opportunity to study Simon's reported longevity is surely regrettable, too. Plus, with the outbreak being Simon's actual "murderer", his new task still allows him to get revenge.

It's a neat example of the difference that a change in perspective makes in this game. Dankovsky's main objective when you play him on Day 1 is to go around looking for a murderer, but he comes off as calmer and more collected about it, talking about revenge and justice and not waxing poetic to children about how much he wants to exsanguinate the murderer. It also highlights just how desperately important being able to work with Simon was for him, for what it meant for his lab.

[andraste-preserve-us]

hi i have cullen thoughts for you <3 do you ever think about a mage trevelyan who had a Bad Time in the circle and how she and Cullen would get past the whole mage/templar mistrust and trauma thing?? it’s one of my fave fic tropes and i’d love to hear your thoughts! :)

Hi! Yes, I do. I actually had a whole fic with my mage inquisitor, Margo Trevelyan (my profile pic), who had that exact situation. I orphaned the fic on AO3 a while back, since it became really big and I just couldn't keep up with it, but I'm thinking of revamping it into a different version where Margo is actually the inquisitor's little sister who shows up at Haven insisting she help.

But anyway. In my original fic, because of her Bad Time at the Circle, she doesn't particularly trust Templars. She doesn't hate them, but isn't usually ready to get cozy super fast either. So she's not very forthcoming with information about her past trauma. However, she and Cullen are still very drawn to each other and become good friends. He does slip up from time to time though and there was one chapter where he made a comment about how she was different because she was more "responsible" with her magic than other mages he'd met and she really let him have it - she did still explain things to him without being rude or insulting, but was very visibly angry as she did so and they struggled a lot in the beginning because Margo would assume he was less and less safe with each comment like that while Cullen's facepalming in his quarters like "why did I have to put my foot in my mouth." With the stress of being the Herald, everything kind of gets to her and she starts isolating a lot and Cullen feels extra guilty.

I think a similar situation would happen with any sort of mage inquisitor, but I also think by this point, Cullen is committed to making a different path for himself. I feel like the "mages cannot be treated like people" comment and sentiments from DA2 probably still haunt him and he's determined not to have a repeat (re: his comment in DAI "the inquisition is my chance to atone"). So I think he would really try to make amends and open up about exactly why he's so jittery around magic, then maybe ask if they'd consider helping him overcome it (which was the plan with Margo before I orphaned the fic and she ends up giving him kind of magic lessons? Obviously he can't do magic, but knowing the mechanics of it really lessons the fear for him).

I think even after that, it would still be something that occasionally triggers him and something a mage inquisitor would have to be mindful of. He would never expect them to not use magic at all in front of him, but he really appreciates when they're able, giving him a heads up before they do any big spells or ask if they can use magic to heal him/help soothe his withdrawal symptoms. I think especially if he was having an episode, respecting his boundaries of not using magic at that time unless they absolutely have to would be a big one.

I think overall, a relationship between him and a mage inquisitor would take a lot of tactful, respectful communication, understanding, and patience - but also that's most healthy adult relationships, and I feel if Cullen really cared for and saw a future with someone, he would be determined to get it right and eventually, I could see him being a lot less triggered by magic in general and actually find it kind of beautiful (sorry this got so long, this is a topic I really enjoy talking about).

[wid0wd-archived]

but jokes aside.

nat approaches anything sex with curiosity due to the fact that the red room only ever taught her how to weaponise it - for the longest time it felt like a chore, something she hated and demanded scalding showers after to feel clean again.

she doesn't actively seek sex, at least not until she actually has feelings for the other person. she understands attraction but doesn't really feel it if it's just based on how handsome / beautiful someone is - she finds beauty in the weird, what most consider ugly ( wether it's inner or outer ... most of the time the first ), what's general imperfect despite her own need to strive for perfection because it reminds her that the world doesn't begin and end in the four walls she was raised into.

she was taught about periods, stds and pregnancy risks for obvious reasons ( there still were assignments to complete before graduation ) yet she was utterly unprepared for the last while pregnant with rose. the midwife who helped was a dear, talked and calmed her through the whole process - natalia was barely out of teenagehood, starved and tired from fighting in the trenches; nikolai was dead and gone already, and in hindsight the outcome of that night was clear from the beginning ( something she's come to terms with, though it doesn't hurt any less )

having sex behind her superiors back was thrilling, the secrecy of it all worth because honest to god she's so in love. she swears about it up and down, her classmates are always ten steps behind, she's always chosen for demonstrations. everybody is so jealous, everything is so perfect - her superiors are obviously very aware of the "multiple HR violations", they just let it happen until it starts to hinder every assignment not related to her.

in modern times her libido fluctuates, one thing to understand is that most of all nat is depressed, traumatized, and unmedicated; it's a weird mix that sets her in very long periods of reclusion, she only talks to people if necessary. she used to have a dating app account for casual flings but she hates the detachment as it reminds her of RR missions.

she's sentimental, too attached to her old habits to move on to anything remotely different - a fatal flaw that further makes her reconsider adventuring into today's dating pool. it's too intricated, it feels like politics in a way and she hates it. she wants to be wooed, roll her eyes and say it's too much and know the other person knows she means it well. she wants to be understood without having to demand or raise her voice, doesn't mind a splash of pain with her pleasure but not the point it triggers her.

she's a biter, a scratcher, contained moans and whimpers growing in volume when implored asked to be louder. she's not the type to lay down and do nothing, loves holding hands and pulling hair. her kisses leave people breathless and in a whirlwind until it's too late ( nomen omen, if you will ). she steals shirts, sweats, hoodies, it doesn't matter because she will wear it. she likes to cuddle, easily falls into the big spoon role due to the company she keeps.

[nobodysdaydreams]

The Mysterious Benedict Society Christmas Carol AU

(I was gonna wait until December to post this, but Gogh said they were interested, and I have zero impulse control so here we go!)

I wanted to make something for my TMBS mutuals this wonderful holiday season, and I never get tired of Christmas Carol adaptations. Dickins knew what he was doing when he wrote that one. There's just nothing that gives me that warm, wholesome, special holiday feeling more than the idea of finding a cruel selfish person and putting the fear of God and compassion for mankind into their heart by haunting them with their own sins and terrifying the living daylights out of them.

So I figured, why shouldn't Curtain get his turn too?

For @sophieswundergarten and @myfairkatiecat based on your wonderful vision (I’m sorry I know I promised you this in like…August. But better late than never). And for @itsgoghtime so that we can scream about it together!

Trigger warning for multiple character deaths (don't worry it's all good at the end part though).

Obviously Scrooge is none other than Curtain/Nathaniel Benedict himself. The other roles are generally shared between characters.

This takes place in between season 1 and 2. The extended Benedict family is celebrating Christmas together, but Nicholas has trouble getting into the spirit of the season, because the holidays have never felt the same without Nathaniel. But then it occurs to Nicholas that now that he knows where his brother is, he can invite him to Christmas this year (though there still is the small problem of them being enemies and the fact that his friends might not approve of it).

So, Nicholas, after sleuthing out his brother’s address in Italy, decides to secretly write him a letter inviting him to their Christmas party, explaining that he forgives Nathaniel, is sorry he didn’t come back when they were children, and that he sincerely misses his brother and wants him to be part of his family again (so I guess for the purpose of matching characters, Nicholas has the role of Fred in this instance).

Meanwhile, back at the compound, Garrison (who has the role of Bob Cratchit, at least for now), has a huge fight with Curtain over the happiness technique, and in typical Curtain fashion, he rudely insists on doing it his way and verbally abuses Garrison. SQ overhears his father yelling at her but doesn’t say anything.

Later, Jackson and Jillson come to Curtain with some concerns about the way Marlon had been doing things at the compound. They ask Curtain what they’ll be doing for Christmas this year, and suggest doing something for charity in order to promote the work they’re doing. Curtain replies that the work they are doing is inherently charitable, and that they don’t have the time to waste celebrating Christmas. He then orders a disappointed Jackson and Jillson to get back to work.

As Jackson and Jillson leave, they drop a letter on Curtain’s desk, which was delivered to the compound that morning. It’s Nicholas’ invitation. Curtain, believing it to be a pathetic attempt to get him to surrender by appealing to his nostalgia and sentimentality, scoffs at the letter as SQ enters the office and asks his dad who sent them a Christmas card. Curtain replies that it’s junk mail and throws the letter in the trash.

SQ then nervously asks his father why they aren’t celebrating Christmas this year. Curtain replies that he understands this is a disappointment, but explains that he can’t afford to relax when his brother (Nicholas) is spreading lies about them. However, he tells SQ that he got him some lovely art supplies to make up for it, and promises that they’ll have a lovely celebration next year. SQ is visibly disappointed, but tries his best to sound grateful and wishes his dad a Merry Christmas before going back to his room.

Meanwhile, Curtain, who is still upset about the holiday (which he views as a waste of time) and Nicholas’ letter, angrily settles in for a night of hard work.

And that’s when the haunting begins.

For this AU, Jacob Marley is the ghost of SQ's dad, since he's dead, and he and Curtain worked together. But in this version, he isn't a chained up ghost (because he wasn't a bad person in life), but he is still a sad ghost. He asks Curtain why he's trying to control the world and begs him to change his ways. Curtain is startled, but believing the ghost to be a hallucination, insists that what he's doing is best for their son and best for the world. When SQ's bio dad's ghost challenges him on this, Curtain slowly begins to accept that he might be real, but grows tired of being criticized and says that this is what he had to do to survive and move on after SQ’s bio parent’s deaths. SQ's bio dad sadly replies Curtain has one last chance to change, but that he will be haunted by three spirits. He then disappears, and Curtain believes it to be a dream.

He dozes off and awakens later to see what he believes to be his brother Nicholas surrounded by a glowing light. But not Nicholas as he knows him, but the child version of his brother, who introduces himself as the ghost of Christmas past. Curtain reluctantly follows the ghost, who leads him through memories of Nathaniel celebrating Christmas with Nicholas. Even though they didn't have much at the orphanage (and heck, they don’t even know if their birth family even celebrated Christmas or any holiday at all), they always did their best to give each other nice gifts and make the holiday their own. The ghost reminds Curtain that this was something he looked forward to every year, and suggests that Curtain misses spending the holidays with his brother. Curtain scoffs and dismisses the warm feelings, stating coldly that Nicholas never really loved or appreciated him (though he doesn't quite look like he believes what he's saying and a part of him wishes it wasn't true).

The little ghost seems very sad to hear Curtain's words, but reluctantly takes him to his next memory, which is of Curtain celebrating Christmas with Garrison, Milligan, and SQ's birth parents back when they were his employees and Curtain wasn't as evil or uptight as he is now. Milligan (who I guess is a stand in for Fezziwig in this AU), is the one who insists that they have a celebration and break from their work, and they all have fun together. Curtain, for a moment, gets swept up in the good feelings. The ghost notes that Curtain never does anything like this for his current employees, which Curtain dismisses by saying that things are different now, and they'll have time for celebrations later, after they've won.

The ghost then points out SQ's birth parents and reminds Curtain that this was the last Christmas they spent together before they died. Curtain tries to talk to them, and ask SQ's birth father why he appeared in his bedroom earlier, but the ghost tells him that these are only memories, shadows of what was. No one here can hear them, and Curtain can't interact with any of them.

They continue to watch SQ's birth parents, and Curtain, in a moment of sentimentality, does admit that they were good friends and good people. The ghost says it's a pity they died without having children, and Curtain corrects him by saying that they did have a child. The ghost remarks that Curtain is right: they had his son SQ (so I guess SQ's birth parents and SQ are also stand ins for Fred and Fran).

Curtain then sees a memory of him spending one of his first Christmases with baby SQ, right after his birth parents die. He promises his son that even though his parents are gone, he’ll make sure that he always feels loved and knows that he has a father who loves him. The ghost then asks if SQ enjoys Christmas parties as much as his birth parents. Curtain is too ashamed to talk about it, and mutters that it's unimportant.

Now, if you want to make this an exact Christmas Carol AU, I could also insert a scene here of Garrison friend zoning Curtain and asking him to keep their relationship professional after SQ's birth parents die and she watches Curtain slowly turn into a worse and worse person. This would parallel Scrooge getting rejected by Belle and feed into the Garrison and Curtain divorce drama agenda™️, but it's take it or leave it.

Either way, at this point, the emotions of the memories lead Curtain to the verge of a narcoleptic attack, which he dismisses by declaring that the past doesn't matter and he doesn't care about it. He tries to snuff out the ghost's light, but that only makes it glow even more, as it's face transforms into the faces of Curtain's old friends and family and the scene changes between the different memories shown to Curtain. In frustration, Curtain throws an blanket over the ghost when they are back in his bedroom and the ghost disappears.

And of course, now that Curtain finds himself back in his bedroom in the present, who does he find but the ghost of Christmas present. The ghost again looks like Nicholas, but different somehow, in a way Curtain can't quite explain. The ghost does look joyful and at peace, which is very much a Nicholas way of being, but also very professional, and he's dressed more the way Curtain usually dresses, just in Christmas colors instead of the usual blue.

The ghost takes him to Nicholas' house, where Curtain sees Nicholas and his family celebrating Christmas. The children are playing a guessing game (like Fred's friends in the original story), and Constance asks them to guess something that's exactly like Mr. Benedict, but awful in every way, immature, sad, and dumb. Everyone is confused as to how something that resembles Mr. Benedict could possibly be so awful, but then Reynie realizes the answer is Curtain, and everyone laughs (though Nicholas looks a bit sad).

Curtain is insulted and tells the children off for being rude, only for the ghost to remind him that they can't hear him. Curtain watches the party for a bit, at first insisting that it's stupid and he wouldn't have wanted to come anyway, but he slowly beings to participate in the games (getting especially frustrated when people have trouble guessing obvious answers), and actually enjoys himself. When the ghost points it out to him, Curtain has a moment where he realizes, to his shame, that this is always what he's wanted: Christmas with a family. But he rejects the thought as soon as it comes.

Then he notices Kate struggling with the injuries she received from his men at the Institute, and notices the worry on Milligan and Nicholas' faces (She's Tiny Tim in this AU). He asks the ghost if Kate will be okay, and the ghost replies that Kate is more injured then she's letting on, and warns Curtain that she'll put on a brave face if it means stopping him and protecting her family, even if it means injuring herself more permanently. Curtain accuses the ghost of blaming him for Kate's condition, and the ghost replies that he's merely answering Curtain's question. Curtain scoffs and says that this is stupid anyway. He has his own family and doesn't need or care about Nicholas'.

The ghost nods and takes him back to the compound, where he sees Jackson and Jillson celebrating Christmas by frantically trying to get everything together for Curtain as Marlon yells at them to work faster. The ghost comments that Marlon seems to have a very different attitude towards his underlings on Christmas than Milligan did, and asks Curtain whether he thinks this is an improvement to the work environment. Curtain replies that unlike Milligan, Marlon is loyal, and that's something to be valued. The ghost observes that Jackson and Jillson certainly seem loyal too. Curtain overhears how miserable Jackson and Jillson are, and that they don't really care about Marlon, but they follow his orders because they don't want to disappoint Dr. Curtain. Jackson and Jillson both reveal that they look up to Curtain and genuinely want to do a good job for him. They also wonder whether Dr. Curtain is proud of them or appreciates their work. Curtain realizes that he's never once thanked either of them.

He then sees SQ on Christmas, surrounded by all the fancy art supplies that Curtain gets him every year. SQ talks to an old photo of his birth parents and comments that this is nice, and he doesn't want to see ungrateful, but he wishes that he had friends and family to celebrate Christmas with, and that his dad wasn't always so busy. Although he knows his son can't hear him, Curtain says aloud that he didn't realize that this was making his son so miserable, and promises that once his plans come to fruition, they are going to have many wonderful Christmases together. SQ doesn't hear him or respond, he just sighs, puts the photo away, and goes to bed.

The ghost then tells Curtain they have one last person to see: Garrison (who is also a version of Bob Cratchit in this, I guess she and Milligan sort of share the role).

Curtain watches Garrison get out of bed and sneak out of the compound. He's surprised she found a way to do that, but follows her down the street. She walks past a church with a bulletin board outside and stares at it for a few minutes, as if debating what to do. When people begin showing up for the Christmas mass, she sighs and quickly continues down the street before anyone gets the chance to talk to her. Confused, Curtain looks at the bulletin board and realizes the church is also a space used for alcoholics anonymous meetings. Garrison continues down the street until she comes to a crossroads. One path leads to the train station; the other leads to a local bar. Garrison stares at the train station for a long time, trembling and shivering, before she decides to go the bar instead. Curtain watches her down several drinks before stumbling into the bathroom, looking at herself in the mirror and muttering that she's a pathetic coward for not being strong enough to leave or ask for help. Curtain tries to tell her this isn't true, but the ghost reminds him that she can't hear him. Curtain comments that this doesn't make sense, since he thought Garrison had succeeded in staying sober. He and the ghost listen to Garrison declare that she deserves all the terrible things the alcohol is doing to her and that Curtain deserves this too, because he drove her to this. The ghost sadly explains that Garrison took up drinking again after Curtain started using her happiness on people.

Curtain, frustrated at being "blamed for all of this" angrily insists that if he'd know this was a problem, he'd have done something to help. He follows Garrison outside, trying to get her attention as she stumbles outside into the snow, shivering and shaking all the way back to the compound. The ghost follows too, telling Curtain that his time is almost up. The ghost looks noticeably older by now, and in fact has been slowly aging this entire time, but Curtain ignores this and tries to run after Garrison, but the snow starts falling faster, swirling all around him, and Garrison disappears in the dark and snow. Church bells start chiming. The ghost informs Curtain that his time is up. The ghost of Christmas present disappears and Curtain finds himself alone on a dark street, and the swirling snow around him has now vanished.

He turns and sees a figure covered in a black robe hobbling out of the darkness. Curtain asks if he is the ghost of Christmas future. The ghost doesn't answer, he merely nods and beckons Curtain to follow him.

The first place he goes is an insane asylum. In it he finds Garrison, and overhears her caretakers talking about how she really got a bad deal working for that "horrible man". It's implied that Nicholas defeated Curtain, and in the aftermath, Garrison's history of substance abuse and mental illness got her declared insane, so instead of sending her to prison, she was placed here. She looks completely miserable and has a dead and far off look in her eyes, and doesn't really speak at all. She only whispers "it's my fault" over and over again. Disturbed, Curtain whisperers to her that he'll make sure this doesn't happen, but she doesn't seem able to hear him, and Curtain is really creeped out by her staring and wonders what could have happened to make her like this.

Curtain then finds himself in an old and dirty factory, where he finds Jackson working alone. It's revealed that since Jackson and Jillson were legally over 18, they went to trial as adults. Nicholas did his best to keep them from prison, but the courts forcibly separated them, and since neither have very good job skills and both have criminal records, they each work in factories in different parts of the country, where they are exploited and forced to work in horrible conditions for very low wages. They both dream of saving enough money to be able to find each other again, but Curtain can tell that neither of them could possibly save enough for that. He calls what happened to them cruel and blames Nicholas for it, since this is apparently the result of Nicholas defeating him. He demands to be taken to the Benedict residence.

The ghost still doesn't speak, but complies. Curtain finds the Benedicts (and friends) celebrating Christmas, but they are not as happy as before. Milligan and Kate are notably absent. The mood is extremely somber. Curtain is confused, saying that they won, so they should be happy. He then overhears Nicholas privately tell Number Two and Rhonda that he wishes he could have been allowed custody of SQ after Curtain went to prison and done more to help him, to which Curtain yells that Nicholas ought to stay far away from his family. Nicholas doesn't hear him, and the subject of Nicholas visiting Curtain in prison comes up. Apparently, Nicholas has not gone to see Curtain once. Nicholas feels guilty about this, but also says it's going to be hard to face his brother after everything he took from them. Nicholas then sighs and admits that his friends were right: the brother he knew really is gone for good.

Nicholas gets emotional and leaves to have a moment alone. Curtain goes after him, yelling after him that Nicholas is one to talk considering the brother he remembers was one he was so eager to leave behind. Although he can't hear him, Nicholas breaks down into tears the second he's alone, admitting to himself that he knows he's the reason Nathaniel is gone forever, he's the reason there's only Curtain now. Curtain then realizes that this is the first time he’s heard Nicholas call him "Curtain" instead of "Nathaniel" and is disturbed by it, wondering what prompting Nicholas to starting calling him by that name.

Curtain then addresses the ghost, asking him what the meaning of this is. Why is Nicholas acting like this when he's the one who won? What could he possibly be so upset about now, he already knows Curtain is his brother? The ghost takes him to a graveyard where he sees Milligan sitting by a grave stone that's surrounded by flowers, cards, and candles.

Milligan apologizes to the grave stone, saying that he should have been more vigilant, that he should have prevented "her" from facing off against such a dangerous enemy all alone while recovering from an injury. But he then adds that he knows she did it because she cared about her friends and wanted to save them, without ever thinking of herself. Milligan then tearfully apologizes for losing her again so soon and declares that even though they only had a short time together, he was proud to have her as his daughter. He then says "Merry Christmas Katie-Cat" before sadly leaving the graveyard.

Curtain is shocked to find that Kate is dead and from hearing the comments of some passersby as they watch Milligan (looking like a shell of his former self) leave the graveyard, learns to his horror that in this future, Kate fought through her injuries and tried to fight some of Curtain's men alone, an action that resulted in her accidental death when she slipped off a ledge. The people at the graveyard shake their heads and comment how sad they feel for poor Milligan. They also express their disgust at how awful and terrible Curtain is, saying that prison time is still too merciful of a sentence for such a terrible crime against such a brave and selfless child.

Curtain is suddenly back in the Benedict residence and hears Number Two comment that it's a shame Mr. Benedict still blames himself when his brother is the one who is a murderer. The others agree.

The ghost raises his hand again, as if about to show Curtain another scene from his future, when Curtain grabs his arm to stop him, insisting that he's not a murderer, and that he never intended for this. In a moment of panic and desperation, he insists that the only reason the future is like this is because Nicholas and his friends won. In a world where he won, none of this would have happened! Curtain demands that the ghost show him that future, the better future, the one where he won instead. The ghost complies.

Curtain declares that in this future, everyone will be happy and better off, and at first, this does seem to be true. Instead of insulting, mocking, and belittling him, everyone on the streets cheerfully discusses how wonderful Curtain is. He's considered a hero and visionary. Curtain is pleased by this. He then sees Jackson and Jillson, smiling and agreeing with the other passersby. However, the second they are alone, Jackson and Jillson drop there fake smiles and start sobbing with guilt about what's going to happen to these people being all their fault, and they express regret at having ever followed Curtain and their role in helping destroy the world. Curtain is confused, and askes the ghost what they could possibly be talking about when everyone else seems so happy.

The ghost then takes him to the compound to show Curtain what has become of his followers, Nicholas, and the society. Curtain is relieved to see them all alive and well, but slowly realizes they they aren't moving. As he explores the compound, he discovers that this is the fate of everyone here, Nicholas and the children included, and a consequence of the happiness technique that's spreading out of control across the world. He starts to panic, thinking of what he can do to stop this, and then realizes that Garrison would know what to do. He demands the ghost take him to Garrison immediately.

The ghost takes Curtain back to the same graveyard from earlier. Curtain is upset, saying that he saw that Kate was alive (but frozen with the others) in this future, and insists that she and the others will be fine as soon as he finds Garrison and asks her how to reverse whatever is happening. The ghost merely points to a gravestone, which has Garrison's name on it now instead of Kate’s, and is barren and empty compared to how Kate's grave looked before with all the cards and flowers. A newspaper flutters past Curtain's feet, revealing that after seeing what her happiness was doing to the world, Garrison blamed herself and drank herself to death out of guilt. Frustrated, Curtain yells at the ghost to stop showing him all these horrible things, but the ghost does not reply.

Curtain, growing increasingly frustrated, says this isn't what he wants either, and the ghost finally speaks, and asks Curtain what sort of future he does want if he is so unsatisfied with futures where he wins and loses. Curtain breaks down and finally fully admits the truth (both to the ghost and to himself) and confesses that he wants what he's always wanted since the orphanage: a future where he can be happy with his family on Christmas.

The ghost tells Curtain that his family is the one thing that remains the same in both futures.

Curtain finds himself standing in front of an unfamiliar, but nice looking house. After peering through the windows, he sees a family that seems to be celebrating Christmas, or some sort of holiday together. A first, Curtain is confused. This isn’t his family, so why would the ghost bring him here? But still, he knocks on the door, and finds to his surprise that this time his hands are solid, and he can actually knock on it. A young teenager that looks like SQ answers the door, and to Curtain's surprise, the boy can actually see him. Curtain tentatively asks if the boy is SQ, and the boy shakes his head and calls for his father. Curtain then realizes he is at the home of future SQ and the people inside the house are his son's friends and children (Curtain's grandchildren).

When grown up SQ comes to the door, he is upset by the sight of his dad and protectively tells his children and family to go back inside and let him handle this. Curtain asks SQ to let him come in, so that he can meet his grandchildren and have a chance to be in his son's life again, but SQ angrily refuses and declares that he won’t let his father hurt his family anymore. Curtain begs him for a second chance, but SQ tells him that he threw that opportunity away a long time ago. SQ also tells Curtain that he'll do anything to protect his family, and threatens to contact the authorities if he ever comes to their house again.

After the door is closed in Curtain's face, the ghost of Christmas future restates that this is the one thing that remains the same in both futures.

In the future where Curtain won, he was unable to bring himself to use the happiness technique on SQ after seeing what it did to Nicholas, and SQ, horrified by what his father had done to control the world, spends the rest of his life running away and establishing a new identity and life so he could be free of his father. When Curtain eventually tracks down his son, he is turned away and SQ threatens to hurt his own father if he ever dares approach his family again, for fear that Curtain will use the happiness on him or his children.

In the future where Curtain lost, he eventually gets paroled out of prison decades later as a very old man and goes to find his son, only to be turned away in a similar manner because of what he did to Kate after being informed that SQ has a restraining order against him.

Curtain, in tears, yells at the ghost and demands to know who he is and why he is doing this to him. The ghost lowers his hood to reveal the face of future Curtain as an old man, and Curtain finally realizes that the ghosts he was seeing weren't alternate versions of Nicholas at all, but distorted reflections of himself. The ghost of who he was, the ghost of who he could be, and the ghost of who he will become. Curtain gasps and stumbles back. As he does so, he catches a glimpse of his face in the window and realizes that he now looks old too. He turns back to the ghost, only to find that the ghost has disappeared, and this is his life now.

He starts to panicking and running the streets, looking for someone who can help him, but his visions of the two futures begin merging together and everywhere he turns he either sees unsettling groups of people under his happiness technique staring at him with creepy frozen smiles, unable to move, or people jeering, spitting at him, and shoving him as they call him a criminal and a murderer.

Finally, Curtain starts breaking down in tears, begging God, the universe, or anyone who is listening for a chance to go back and change things. Then his narcolepsy takes control and he falls asleep.

When he wakes up, he runs through the compound and grabs Jackson by the shoulders asking him what day it is. Jackson replies that it's Christmas (and Jillson, who of course is next to him, adds "December 25th to be precise"). Nathaniel is so relieved and overjoyed that he hugs them both, which confuses Jackson and Jillson. Nathaniel immediately orders them to prepare to attend a Christmas party and gives them a list of presents to buy. Jackson and Jillson are confused, but happy with their new assignments.

Nathaniel then finds Garrison trying to escape the compound. Because Nathaniel is still the insane dramatic theater kid that he is, he does the fake out thing Scrooge does to Bob where he yells at her and backs her into a corner. Garrison cowers in fear, only for Nathaniel to hug her and promise her that he's going to raise her pay, publicly declare her innocent, get her help for her alcoholism, and put her in charge of their entire operation just before he confesses to his crimes and goes to prison after celebrating Christmas with his family.

Garrison, believing him to have gone insane, asks if he tried to use the technique on himself or if he's having a mental breakdown, but after a thorough examination, realizes to her surprise that he is being sincere. Nathaniel begs her to join him for Christmas, and with no where else to go, and too shocked to come up with any excuse, she agrees.

Nathaniel then grabs all of the employment records, addresses, and information he has on the Wetheralls before Milligan's brain sweeping (with generous financial compensation) and sends it to their house (similar to how Scrooge sent the turkey to Bob Crathcit's house).

He then finds SQ and declares that he was wrong about Christmas, family, and everything, and begs him for a second chance. SQ is surprised to see his father actually apologizing to him that he agrees, even as Nathaniel starts telling him the truth about his narcolepsy, his evil plans, his real name, Nicholas, everything. It's a lot for SQ to take in, but he's happy his dad is coming clean and being honest with him, as shocking as it might be. He's also pleasantly surprised to see his dad seems genuinely happy.

Nathaniel then takes SQ, Garrison, and Jackson and Jillson with him to Nicholas’ Christmas Party ("But Bods, aren't the Benedicts in America and the compound is in Italy, do they teleport now?" "Nathaniel has private jets now." "Uh... okay, but it would still take hours-" "Don't question the magic of Christmas").

Nicholas' friends start threatening Nathaniel immediately, assuming he's there to ruin Christmas and do something horrible, but are surprised to see that Nathaniel brought gifts for all of them (surprisingly well thought out gifts too). Nathaniel introduces the others and asks Nicholas if it’s not too late to reconsider his offer and celebrate Christmas with them. Nicholas replies that it’s never too late.

Of course when all is said and done, Nathaniel serves a nice looonnnngggg community service sentence, but he's back with his family, he's good now, and all is well with the world.

*Cut to a scene of the ghosts of SQ's bio parents smiling at Nathaniel before they disappear*

I hope you guys like this!

[bratbarzal]

@/anon I didn't want to not answer this bc I appreciate the sentiment of you saying it and i don't want you to think I'm ignoring it bc of a personal bias - I blocked out the middle because it's not my place to speak for anybody else around the topic mentioned (I hope you don't mind but I'm not going to put anybody on blast like that bc it isn't fair - if you do have a problem with a person to that level whether they're a friend of mine or not, it shouldn't be raised through me, and I'm saying that with respect to you bc I get why it was brought up to me, but hopefully the rest of this gives a bit of context (I'm gonna put it under a read more bc idk how long this is gonna be lmao))

I think the post you referenced is more of a nuanced thing than we can ever really express in one go, which is why I keep saying I don't mind having the conversation because there's always room to expand on things or whatever - but sports is inherently political - it's deeply rooted in privilege, and as much as it should be a form of escapism, I think the post you were referencing was more directed at the people who outright ignore that fact, and not general supporters of Team USA - but again, if you want clarity on that I'd say to have the conversation with the person who said it, because I don't want to speak for her (I understand what she was saying bc we talk about this sort of stuff a lot, though, so I feel comfortable enough to know her intentions or I wouldn't have posted it)

to me I don't think she was saying outright you shouldn't support it, but I get that it reads that way, I think she was saying you shouldn't support it and refuse to acknowledge how it ties into political commentary (and that's not me saying that's what you're doing bc I get your ask, too - but obviously a lot of things sent to me or seen elsewhere are people denying the underlying issue so I personally think that's what she was referencing with that post - not people who are genuinely happy for the team they have every right to support, but the people who are denying the ties to a racist administration and ignoring the implications of that when it comes to an international tournament)

and regarding the hockey canada thing, we have to understand how speaking on that topic or seeing/inviting discourse around that topic might impact people and might reopen wounds they will never publicly speak about. I haven't really posted about it, and to be honest it's because it makes me vastly uncomfortable and upset as someone who has been through my own situations that the whole thing reminds me of - but it doesn't mean I'm ignoring the problematic history of hockey canada, do you know what I mean?

like I completely understand how it looks that way, but the hockey canada situation is deeply triggering for a lot of people, so not speaking about it isn't necessarily ignoring it and that people are only ever calling out Team USA - though I do understand your point that it sort of paints a double standard, I also think we have to look at that particular situation a bit differently

I think four nations, and the actions of that specific iteration of Team USA really put a dampener on people's view of the team and it's hard not to tie them back to trump when there are known supporters within the group still even in the worlds squad (even if they weren't vocal this time around, four nations was only 3 months ago, and the absolute poison that leaked out of the narrative of that team left a mark to be honest for a lot of people)

I'm sort of rambling at this point but I think either way, we need to let people have the conversations they want to have because we can't police how people react - team usa is representative of the country, and the country is tied to a lot of hurt and discourse that impacts people so far beyond it, so people should be able to speak on it freely (and like I said, I appreciate the way you approached this and I'm not directing this at you, but to the whole reason I even made my original post, which is that people who are ignoring the severity of those ties and calling people clowns for making the association) without people taking it personally

it is almost 5am so sorry if this doesn't make sense

*also adding I appreciate you not wanting stuff to be interconnected, and like I said I think sport can be a great escapism and I understand wanting it to stay that way without this sort of discourse ruining it for you - but in this day and age, it's sort of hard for a lot of people not to look deeper into what they're supporting if that makes sense??

I think the only way that I can speak for this person is to say trust me, they are not ignoring the hockey canada stuff and they are not above holding their own country to account, but it's not my place to speak any further on that

[mach9000]

18. amab. pro-ship, pro-fic. if it’s not real, i don’t care.

-

“this ship/fic can be used to groom minors!” - people have used minecraft to groom minors. there’s no fail-safe way to avoid minor abuse online beyond educating them and spreading awareness. and i promise you, no child has ever been pushed into, say, marrying an old man, because of sebastciel shippers online.

“this ship/fic has incest!” - this sounds controversial but the ONLY two things that make incest wrong in real life is 1) if a straight couple procreates and inflicts deformation on their child (which is bad obviously) and 2) if there is a power-dynamic inherent within the relationship (father/daughter, mother/son - again, obviously bad) but, considering most incest ships are between two siblings (no inherent power dynamic) and are often gay or between minor characters (no procreation) - both limitations are defied. the only reason an anti would think incest was gross in the case of, say, a gay pairing between two brothers, is because of social and cultural taboo — not morals.

“you ship incest? so you would date your brother/sister?” - i have no siblings in real life. however, i know there’s a biological blocker that stops most people from being attracted to their siblings, so no, i probably wouldn’t be. i don’t really condone incest in real life but again, if theoretically, if i had a brother the same age as me and we were both gay - there would be nothing morally wrong with it, no matter how “gross”. however, reality and fiction shouldn’t be hand in hand ever, and a pro-shipper has siblings, they are unlikely to be incestuous - they probably understand the difference between fiction and reality.

“you’re okay with p*doph*lia in fiction? so you’re a p*do?” - no. is vladimir nabokov a p*do for writing lolita?

“vladimir nabokov was writing about how p*doph*ilia was bad!” - 1) if lolita was written today, anti-shippers would call him a p*do. they’ve shown time and time again that context and media comprehension doesn’t matter to them. 2) are the john wick writers condoning murder because they make a guy look cool while doing it? no. it’s fiction.

“i’m a victim of csa/abuse and pro-shippers make me uncomfortable” - that’s fair. don’t interact with your triggers and feel free to block me. why make yourself feel uncomfortable for strangers on the internet?

“this fictional relationship is toxic/abusive” - that’s what makes it interesting to dissect. if you want to read about happy characters who are eternally vanilla, flower crown wearing, golden retriever owning hufflepuffs or whatever - read a coffee shop au.

*99% of anti-shipper logic is the same sentiment that leads to book banning and book burning. you can be uncomfortable with a ship or piece of fiction without pretending the creator of said fiction is an evil demon who needs to be eradicated. grow up, or don’t. i don’t care. just don’t harass people over ships between 2d anime boys who aren’t real for the sake of policing.

[sae-something]

I have a Q for when you have a moment (I know maybe you don’t have a moment bc you’re not well and I’m also sending all the peaceful/recover-asap vibes your way <3)

I emailed my T yesterday saying that I hate her so much. I said a bunch of bad things. I did it because I was stuck in feeling so much need/want for her that I thought I would explode and then my feelings suddenly catapulted in the opposite direction and I was so angry and wanted her to get out of my life.

I had already emailed her earlier in the week to check that she was still there and she replied to that neutrally.

She didn’t reply to the hate email because I told her not to.

I feel so so guilty and I want to apologise but I have sent her too many emails and I don’t rlly know what to do. I might wait until next week and apologise in person but also I want to apologise now because I feel so guilty (but maybe I just want to hear that she’s ok with me which is selfish of me).

How does A respond to angry emails? Does she bring them up in session?

Hey anon,

Ahhhh I really relate to basically everything you described. Sending hugs your way, it's really a lot to go through.

Personally I always wrote another email if I felt the way you feel right now. Mostly because I decided that that was what I would like - obviously I'm not a therapist but I imagined a fight with a friend where maybe the friend had just been sending me endless messages. What would feel better for me? One more message with an apology/explanation? Or one less message? And for me, I'd always prefer one more message. At some point I asked A about it and she expressed a similar sentiment. It helps her to hear my explanation of what happened to cause the "I HATE YOU"-reaction and to hear that (many) part(s) of me don't share the hateful feelings.

Obviously just going "sorry sorry sorry sorry I'm such a bad person" is not really helpful, and if at all possible I'd encourage you to try and implement some sort of "XYZ piled up, which made me feel ABC, etc"-explanation. But also, it's still therapy. And I've definitely also written about how much I dislike when that hate-reaction kicks in. It's been really helpful for me too, that even those horrible emails were 'welcomed' by A; the last half year (?) there's been a shift and it hasn't really happened at all anymore.

With A, we have the deal that emails always come back in therapy. So yes, when there had been an email-spiral from my side, we would always touch on that in therapy. Sometimes I would have already written out all the chain reactions that happened for me (with feelings, parts, reactions, triggers, etc.) and we would spend a whole session on it. Sometimes we had already emailed back and forth and just concluded in session that 'it had been talked through' sufficiently, and if either of us had anything to add to it still.

As for how A responds, let me dive into my emails, lol. Some (translated) phrases from emails she sent me:

I can imagine you are full of rage and anger! I don't think you are a monster, let's talk about it on monday

Oh Sae, so horrible for you. I am glad you emailed me and of course 'I hate you' is painful to read but with everything you share with it, I also understand it. The most horrible thing is, I think, how much you hate yourself. Well; I don't hate you and I want to help you.

Oof, that sounds like a looott of anger!

Oof, it seems really really difficult to feel all there is to feel. Good to see you later today because this is so painful to do alone!

So yeah. That's some examples. The last 2 replies were to emails from me that basically only consisted of "I hate you, you make everything worse, I hope you never come back [from vacation], I hate you, I hate you, I HATE YOU". The first two examples were sentences in bigger emails, which were replies to also much bigger emails from me (where, besides the "I hate you", I also wrote about other emotions/things).

Also... if I may suggest so, stop asking your therapist to not reply. You are emailing for a reason, and sending huge (emotional) signals and then depriving yourself of a response... that might just be mirroring past experiences of not being seen/met/heard when in emotional turmoil. Of course I don't know you at all, so maybe it's entirely different for you, but that's a little something that stood out to me. You deserve to be heard. Even when raging, even when hating, even when being mean or unreasonable.

If you want to, let me know how things went? I hope you'll be able to talk through this with your therapist when you see her next. It can be really helpful (though extremely terrifying) to bring this into the room.

Sending a hug your way, take care!! <3

[jewishvitya]

at this point i really don't think it's possible to talk about palestine without on some level talking about the holocaust. zionism bas been trying to intertwine the two (and mostly succeeding) for so long there is really no way to avoid the subject and still be heard. and it sucks. using a genocide to justify another is just beyond vile. especially when they're using rethoric and tactics (like the "children of darkness") from the first one. idk it's just really horrible

I understand what you mean, and, yeah, you're right, Israel and zionism did a lot of damage to the conversation about the holocaust. But here's the thing for me:

Talking about the holocaust to discredit the way Israeli propaganda is misusing is - not a problem. Important. For example, a friend of mine just said to me "It takes a special kind of evil to put this star on yourself while you’re basically following Nazi protocols yourself." This, to me, isn't an abuse of our trauma. It's a response to the manipulative actions of Gilad Erdan and his delegation. And it's referring to the silencing of dissenting voices and the talk of shooting protestors and, obviously, committing genocide.

Talking about the nazis among other fascist regimes as case studies to highlight fascist sentiments, policies, and practices we see in Israel - same, it's important. These things need to be pointed out and talked about. Especially as Netanyahu tries to make things more and more authoritarian.

I also talk about it when I say I refuse to be silent about becoming the face of similar oppression. I'm not pretending that because we're Jews and because we suffered, we can't possibly commit atrocities as bad as what was done to us.

But if you single out naziism just to call a Jewish zionist a nazi, that's abusing our collective trauma. Naziism is specifically built with antisemitism at the core. What we see here is a different kind of fascist ideology. Picking naziism to throw at them is like using a known trigger to make a point. And I think fascist is a strong enough term, and more accurate.

And I'm not shying away from talking about Israeli fascism (though I didn't really do much of that on my blog, it's often an irl or dm questions thing). And I understand that the holocaust will always be part of this conversation. But it's about how it's brought up, more than just avoiding it entirely.

Basically, if you want to talk about the holocaust in relationship to zionism, give it the gravity it deserves. Don't use it like the word "nazi" is a swearword you can throw in for emphasis. It's not "fuck." And I've seen it misused like that.

Does that make sense?

[thebarontheabyss]

Okay so obviously I ran to play the update because you know I have a problem by now.

But omg why would u make me so sad!! I never knew just how much trauma the staff have. I completely understand the need for a safe haven for the dead and the afterlife being a second chance at life.

Spoilers ahead: warning it's a ramble sorry.

Hauster seeing themselves as just a tool for destruction was very telling in just how he's presented himself and how uncomfortable he gets when you even praise him. He is a protector yet reluctant to see himself as one. And that last line... plays back into the incident at the opening. 👀

I only now fully realize how you've managed to give literal Death a air so soft and fragile. When I think of death it's a harsh and unfair thing that rips you from your loved ones yet in this story all I feel towards death is sympathy and care.

Peisinoe.. omg I would love to explore his route oneday. Having everything anyone could want physically in life and yet feeling like it doesn't amount to much is a real world sentiment for some. Going through a probably very angsty possibly slightly triggering.. for me personally in my own experience.. route to finding some sort of peace in the afterlife would be beautiful. Not just peace in general but peace in himself and contentment would make me happy.

Yaga'a warnings made alot of Sense this chapter. Oh that guilt and regret. I can't even.

I fear so much for my poor MC if that vision is foreshadowing what could happen to him too. It was a scary thought reading about the same tiredness they are currently going through.

Long rant aside I wonder how the fallout will play out. How everyone would react to MC accidentally seeing the most vulnerable parts of their souls. I would probably feel exposed and maybe slightly violated if my boss saw my deepest darkest inner thoughts lol. Even with the best intentions I'd be like look away. This chapter clearly gave Me alot to think about. ♥️

Ohhhh your thoughts were super interesting to read!!!

And sorry for the sad feels 😂