Tumgik
#is this a milestone? i feel like i've hit a milestone
youwerethedefeated · 2 days
Note
please reveal some of your favorite kagehina fic recs? I literally am in love with them and i cannot stop
Hi anon!!
Surprisingly, I haven't read a whole lot of kagehina fics yet 😭 I'm a slow reader and uni has been very stressful...
Still, here are some that I have read and love:
Better than firewhiskey - it's a Harry Potter/Hogwarts AU where Kageyama is chosen for the Triwizard Tournament and it's sooo good. It's got all my favorite Harry Potter tropes but this time with Kagehina!
Halcyon in chains - this is a Daemon AU and the writing is just gorgeous. It feels like being enveloped in a warm blanket. It's also by the same author of thirty three days of mist and mountains, a post time skip fic which I also LOVE and recommend lots!
Hunger Pangs - NSFW, Karasuno era, third year. I love love love this one!!
Arrhythmia - this one is VERY NSFW so beware. It's probably the most delicate A/B/O fic I've ever read tho, and it focuses a lot on the feeling of growing up and being left behind when everyone else seems to hit all the proper milestones.. everyone but you that is
(Also I recommend basically everything else by this author cause their writing is just delicious)
Hinata Shouyou's fucking face - a classic. Kageyama is SO stupid in this I love it.
Butcher with a Smile - again, NSFW (sorry I rec so much porn 😭) but anyway THIS is probably one of my fave fics ever. I keep re-reading it and it never fails to give me a tummy ache. Don't let the first person POV scare you away, the author's writing is absolutely entrancing. There's also something so... hungry about this fic. Kageyama and Hinata are absolutely feral in the best way possible
And a honorable mention even though I haven't read it yet: (because it's @kagehiner 's fave fic and he's constantly attacking me with quotes)
The fish who swallowed the sun - mature, post time skip, probably gonna tear your heart out
Hope there's something here you'll like :)
38 notes · View notes
prettyflyshyguy · 2 days
Text
Not to get sappy on main but my little online shop hit a pretty cool milestone just recently and it's left me feeling very emotional.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Huge cuz the majority of sales has come from various SCP items and it's felt really good knowing people like the thing's I've made and the thought of people running around conventions wearing an SCP lanyard brings me a lot of joy ;_;
Plus more people than I ever expected have bought the euclid shaker charms and they've left really nice reviews on them. Thank you SCP fandom you've always had my back.
17 notes · View notes
starpros-sunshine · 4 months
Text
I Need to get out of the habit of mindless scrolling I literally can feel myself zone out while doing that ATP I'm *this* close to just deleting any amd all social media platforms and returning to the times of radio and, well. YouTube should stay I need to watch my two hour long video essay /somewhere/....and Tumblr I can't abandon Tumblr..... there's people here that I can't just abandon.....
2 notes · View notes
jinkoh · 1 year
Text
new layout hehe
6 notes · View notes
solojihyo · 2 years
Text
once again as a reminder if your blog is blank i will block you <3 idc if you have likes, if you have zero posts/reblogs and you don't have an icon, header, and/or description, i'm blocking you
10 notes · View notes
asoulwithadream · 1 year
Text
Day 20: Favourite OFMD fit(s)
Look, the Our Flag Means Death wardrobe is all together beautiful and I would very much like to own every single piece of fabric found upon the Revenge in both the primary and auxiliary wardrobes.
But I think we all have to agree that this is be the drippiest look:
Tumblr media
(To join this challenge, check out this post)
6 notes · View notes
grineerios · 1 year
Text
Tumblr media
day 100, baby! :D
6 notes · View notes
malleusmaior · 2 years
Text
New account
2 notes · View notes
comfortlesshurt · 15 days
Text
Tumblr media
shhh, I know I talk about my children too much. but you can't stop my love
Tumblr media
forgot to include this at first, whoops, but I also added a little daily par tracker so I can see it all in one place! there's a separate sheet where i update my word count every time i think about it, and then this table uses a vlookup to find the most recent word count and show it as a percent and a daily par to finish by the listed due date. (the par column compares between the overall goal and the subgoal and lists whichever par is higher between the two)
#really excited i broke 40k on that first one!#but i'm def struggling with not having anything to post#i think i'd have more motivation if i had some more oneshots ready to publish but uhhh#i'm ngl i don't#every time i try to work on one i get too excited about the series and end up back over to it#which is probably good!#because i'm back up to ~1k/day across three of those fics#but 1k a day could get me SO MANY oneshots in a month you know?#feels like i'm losing out#also don't look too close at that whumptober project#as always the prompts are excellent but of COURSE i'm struggling to come up with anything i'm excited to write for them#also now for the true cruelty#i've been spending so much time writing that i don't even want to scroll through The Used lyrics looking for titles for fics 3 and 4!#like dude i already KNOW i want everything in this series to be The Used inspired so i have that narrowed down#i just can't get myself to do it!#fic 2 is also still stuck with a different title i originally considered for the same reason#also yes the used technically breaks my typical fic titling rule#they're too well-known and it hurts my hipster heart to show you all that i'm basic#but they have SO MANY good lyrics that i couldn't resist anyway#ANYWAY final vent:#i really want to write right now but i've gotta clock in in six minutes so i'm just gonna cry while i work instead#(but my side work project is going really well right now so i'm excited about that too)#(like we're meeting to discuss the timeline today and i think we're gonna be able to hit our milestones a few weeks early now)#(since i just had a major breakthrough on something i projected taking 3 weeks)
1 note · View note
rainybraindays · 8 months
Text
Hm
#rainy vents#in the tags of course#I'm spiraling I think#I've lived twice as long without my mom as I have with#I'm jealous of my older siblings because this is a milestone most of them won't reach for a long time#like at 15 I'd already officially lived longer without her than with her#I ache for my little sister because she hit both milestones as soon as she hit 4#we have no family photos of all 8 of us with her because by the time the youngest was born the eldest 3 lived out of the house#2 lived a day and halfs trip away and 1 already had a kid#everyone else seems to have moved on and sometimes I feel like I have too like if you want a bitch that makes dead mom jokes I'm your girl#but then we get to this point the interim between the new year and my birthday#and all I can think is “okay the day before my moms been dead fo x amount of years and then midnight hits and I'm [age]”#and all I can do it dread it#i remember I used to hate going on social media because I hated how everyone would be mourning my mother one day#and then the next be sending me birthday wishes like that hadn't happend#now I hate it because no one talks about her at all and focuses entirely on my birthday#i hate my birthday and this isn't even the only reason but its the one that tends to overshadow the other trauma#if you're friends with my I'm sorry if I'm weird in the upcoming weeks#if I'm sporadically really clingy and all but ignoring you#I'm working on it but god this is the worst time of the year for me
0 notes
somesofty · 13 days
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
I decided I didn't want to post too much here until I hit 200lbs and, well, surprise! I finally pushed myself over 200! Gawd, it was so exciting to see the number two pop on the scale lol. Anyways, now that I've hit this little milestone, I feel gaining isn't as much as a pipe dream to me as it used to be. It's like, y'know, possible now? I've done it already? And I mean it. I used to be like 160 dreaming of being 200. And now? Well damn, I *am* that big now. So now I get to dream about 250 lol.
So pop the champagne (or crack open the high calorie boost rather) because twink death is official! I don't just want to be chubby. I want to be a fat, flabby fuck! And since I haven't been really posting about gains until now I feel like there's so much I can talk about regarding noticing the weight piling on and how its changing me. More posts in the future, I guess. This way I have to come back at 210 and be like, hey, new rolls taking shaped! Or whatever else changes on me. (I mention it now but it was so exciting to just notice one day I had moobs budding in. Ooh! Can't wait for those to stack up!)
So yeah. Hopefully I'll come back with another chin to post some more stuff because I want a *lot* more of me to post in the future. Chow for now!
526 notes · View notes
back2bluesidex · 11 months
Text
Girl Crush - MYG
Tumblr media
Part of my Milestone Drabble Request Game. Find the request here.
Read the follow-up drabble, Afterglow.
Pairing: Husband!Yoongi X Wife!Reader
Theme: Angst, Unrequited love au, arrange marriage au
Wordcount: 1.5k+
Summary: It was and is Min Yoongi, who you fell in love with over the course of charity galas, executive meetings, quarterly gatherings, parties and so on. And he never once looked in your direction. But then again, there are very few people Yoongi really looked at.
Based on Girl Crush by Harry Styles (Cover).
Warnings: unhappy marriage, unrequited love, yoongi loves someone else. this is very painful.
Minors are not allowed in this blog!!
A/N: I had this idea sitting on my head for a long time now. Thanks to @jimintaemin for requesting this and giving me a chance of writing this. This is very angsty just as you wanted. Hope you like this. Hit me back with your feedback!:)
Tumblr media
“I've got a girl crush… Hate to admit it but I’ve got a heart rush… It ain’t slowin' down”
“I assume you already know that this is a marriage of convenience, a negotiation between two companies. And I hope you will not expect anything from me. As long as it’s about responsibilities, I am okay with those. But don’t expect anything more.” Min Yoongi had said, cold and stoic, as if not conversing but stating some flat facts related to stock prices. 
He was not wrong. Whatever he had said are indeed facts and there was nothing you didn’t already know.
So you stood there, standing as still as a porcelain doll, ready to fall and break at any given moment. 
“And just so you know… I have someone.” he finished, diverting his eyes from you even though he never really looked at you properly. 
Although you were glad that he didn’t. You were more than happy that he didn’t witness tears rolling down your face, gathering below your chin and dropping down at the immaculate fabric of your wedding gown. 
Do tears leave stains? You hoped that was not the case. 
It’s not that you pictured a fairytale married life for you. You know arranged marriages come with more cons than pros. You knew you would have to pay the price.. but at the same time you had no choice. You were even more reluctant to do anything because it was him. 
It was and is Min Yoongi, who you fell in love with over the course of charity galas, executive meetings, quarterly gatherings, parties and so on. And he never once looked in your direction. But then again, there are very few people Yoongi really looked at. 
It was foolish for you to expect a man of his stature would not have someone to love, to be loved by. And it was even more foolish for you to think, you can be his wife, a real one.. and lead a life with him. 
However, now you know it’s impossible. And the realization made you feel helpless, caged and broken. 
“I won’t expect anything, I promise, but in return… Can we at least be friends? It will make things easy for both of us.” you’d uttered upon managing your voice and emotions. 
Only then he looked at you, like really looking at you with a small smile playing on his lips, he’d said “sure.”  
That was the moment you realized you had a girl crush. And it was the woman who managed to make Yoongi, your husband, fall in love. 
“I got it real bad.. Want everything she has That smile and that midnight laugh.. She's giving you now.” 
You thought, you would be angry. You thought every possible darkness would cover your senses, when you’d meet her for the first time. 
But wrong… you were. 
You had so many prejudices about this woman and you hated her with every drop of blood your body owns but all of it evaporated in thin air when she smiled at you standing right at your and yoongi’s door. 
She is beautiful, she is kind, she is loveable… and maybe everything else you can’t ever be. 
“Thank you so much, Y/N. I never thought I was going to see Yoongi ever again.” she’d murmured as she stood close to you in the kitchen, preparing dinner for you three. 
You had stared into her eyes then.. Trying to find mockery and a hint of brazen victory telling you, “you’re only his paper wife. I own his heart.” 
But again.. Again you were disappointed. 
In her eyes, there was no mockery, no pretense, no dishonesty.. Rather only understanding and kindness. Only then you understood why Yoongi loves her so much. 
Why will it never be you and always be her.  
That night as you stood at the balcony, enjoying the stinging sensation cold wind brought to you, you heard them laughing.
It was the first time you heard Min Yoongi laughing. Even though faint and muffled, you could still sense his happiness through the sound. 
Min Yoongi was finally happy... for the first time since the wedding ceremony... and you were not the reason. 
All of a sudden, you were jealous again, even though you were not sure if you had the right or not. 
“I want to taste her lips… Yeah, 'cause they taste like you I want to drown myself… In a bottle of her perfume”
You didn’t know what you were thinking when you invited her to your and Yoongi’s honeymoon. 
Both of your and his parents have been pestering you to set out for the trip. You have been using excessive workload as the excuse and you assumed Yoongi to do the same.
But a week ago, everything went south when Yoongi had a fight with his father. As a result, flights were booked, accommodations were chosen and you two were notified only two days prior. 
That night, Yoongi didn’t come back home. And when he did, he didn’t speak a single word to you. 
The visible frown on his forehead and the cold aura that oozed from him, made you want to make him smile, made you invite his lover to the trip secretly.  
She was already there when you two reached and you will never forget Yoongi’s reaction when he realized what was happening. 
The grumpy cold Yoongi broke into gummy smiles and giggles as soon as he saw her. They kissed right in front of your eyes and you silently cried. 
Oh how you wish, you could taste him too. How you wish, he would hold you like that, caress you like that. 
How you wish… he would love you like that. 
“I want her long blond hair… I want her magic touch Yeah, 'cause maybe then… You'd want me just as much”
 “Babe, could you please turn your head a little? Yes.. yes just like that.” 
You watched the man as he clicked photos after photos of the woman he loves, seemingly trying to document her beauty for a long long time.  
You watched her as her long blond hair flowed like a waterfall down her shoulder, wind ruffling it gently making her look even more beautiful. 
“Let’s take a selfie, will you?” she shouted at him and he chuckled. 
He buried his head in the crook of her neck, inhaling her scent, he said, “you smell so nice.”
You wondered, what she smelled like, what perfume did she use to make Yoongi look this satisfied. You even considered asking her, purchasing a bottle and drowning yourself in one of those if that means Yoongi would love to smell you too, he would curl himself around you late at night. If that means Yoongi would want you, just as much. 
“I don't get no sleep… I don't get no peace Thinking about her.. Under your bed sheets”
“Where are you going?” confusion dripped through Yoongi’s voice. You stopped at your tracks and turned to face him. 
“I will sleep in the other room. You two should have your space. I will send her in as soon as I am there.” you smiled at him, even though your heart bleed invisibly inside your chest at the thought of how they would spend the night together. 
“No, Y/N. We will adjust. You sleep here in the suite.” Yoongi commented, as firm as a verdict, as he stepped towards where you stood. 
“But Yoongi, I am alone, what would I do with all this space?” you sighed. You definitely didn’t want to be left alone at the honeymoon suite, decorated for the newlyweds. You hate it. Totally loathe the decorations. Those giant red hearts had been mocking you since the moment you stepped there. You might tear those to pieces if you were left there alone, raising endless questions regarding such an act. 
“You have done enough. You have done much more than you needed to and I feel like I’m taking advantage of your kindness. So, please… stay here. Enjoy the stay. We will manage.” giving you one of his tight lipped smiles, Yoongi slipped out of the room to spend the night with his lover. 
That night when you slid inside the covers, which smelled awfully like him because he took a nap earlier in the evening, you started breaking down. 
Your hopes, your dreams, and your heart all started crumbling right before your eyes. You held the duvet tightly around yourself and pretended it was yoongi wrapped around you, it was Yoongi, whispering sweet things in your ear, it was Yoongi, telling you that he loved you. 
Somewhere you knew, Yoongi is actually doing all these things in real-time but.. Not to you.. Not for you. 
You closed your eyes, tears streamed down your cheeks and wetted the pillow. You imagined your life as her… as your girl crush… as the woman your husband, Min Yoongi, loves. 
“I've got a girl crush… Hate to admit it but I’ve got a heart rush… It ain’t slowin' down”
Tumblr media
1K notes · View notes
caitlinsclark · 1 month
Text
Tumblr media
GOOD LUCK BABE! caitlin clark PART II. YOU CAN SAY THAT WE'RE NOTHING caitlin clark x reader ✰ bree's notes: tw: A MAN A MAN A MAN A MAN A MAN (sorry just had to add that) enjoy my loves!! I've missed writing for you fr <3 word count: 4.7k series masterlist masterlist and tag list
Tumblr media
The sound of things in your bag clunking together echoed throughout the hallway as you ruffled through them, a breathless groan that reiterated all the building frustration from your day prior. In the haste of escaping the stressful situation, you'd forgotten your sneakers. 
You could play barefoot right? It wasn’t technically an advantage, you tried to reason with yourself internally to not have to enter the apartment again. 
What a joke, you scoffed as you rubbed your forehead, feeling like an intruder in your own home. With one hand on the door knob, you sighed and pushed it open quickly, believing that the quicker you did it the quicker it would be over.
Luke called your name when you passed by him sitting in the living room, his stupid bouquet of flowers clutched dramatically to his chest where his heart was rumored to be.
Of course, they were still in perfect condition too. You bitterly mumbled under your breath as you went right into the bedroom, ignoring his half assed attempts at reconciliation. 
“If those flowers even get near you,” You gently pet the cat lying on your bed as you whispered, “I’m blending them into a smoothie and he’s gonna drink it.” Your voice heightened in pitch toward the end, an affectionate boop on the nose to the furry animal before you went into the closet to retrieve your shoes. 
You were rustling around when something dropped, an echo of a hollow box hitting the ground grabbing your attention. It was a small felt box, something that didn’t belong among the shoes in the closet and definitely not something of yours. 
When you bent down to open it, you found yourself wishing you had gone with the decision to play barefoot. The intimidating glimmer of the diamond ring sucking all the light from your body, completely opposing how reflective it was.
Basketball clearly hadn’t taught you enough defense, leaving you startled when Luke had entered the room. The sudden imposing figure in your line of vision had you gasping, quick reflexes kicking in and throwing the ring into your bag to hide it. Your foot kicked the empty jewelry box underneath the dresser just in time for him to turn the corner.
Luke stared hard at your agitated figure, suspicion lacing the words he spoke, “You’re back. Let’s talk.”  He turned around without another word, assuming you were going to follow.
It didn’t seem to be a question, and you weren’t going to let it be. Especially with the frazzled buzzing of your head that had skyrocketed to a pulsating sensation.
“Nope, I can’t do this now.” The ring felt heavy in your bag, an unpleasant and scarily unwelcome milestone that prompted your blood running cold. Your sensible mind told you that it was your shoes adding that weight, but your mind didn’t let up.
Your feet carried you hurriedly out of the door again, not even taking a second to pett the whining cat near the door on the way out. That’s how you knew you were absolutely fucked.
The pounding in your head may have been attributed to the upcoming stakes of the game, but you feared it had more to do with the metaphorical weight making it difficult to get a full breath in. The pressure that lingered as a reminder of the man living in your apartment, if the 5 missed calls lighting up your phone and the ring stowed away in your bag weren’t enough.
You tried to sit in your car for more time than you wanted to admit, an attempt at collecting yourself before facing any of the cameras. Flashes that would probably read directly into your soul, prompting narratives that might not only be speculation and hearsay.
The physically sickening feeling was almost a happy distraction from the grief your mind had been relentlessly succumbed to since the phone call with your mother.
You couldn’t quite place what changed when you entered the building, what had your buzzing senses slowing to a steady and comforting pace but it surely couldn’t have been the entrance of your best friend to your left.
You gasped at the smug smirk on Caitlin’s face as you took in your correlating outfits, not torn away from her despite the flashing cameras. It made sense why she’d asked earlier if you had tan heels as you took in her tan pantsuit.
“You look amazing,” She hummed, grabbing both your hands and spinning you wistfully toward the press. She left you laughing and holding onto her arms for stabilization as you slowed to a stop.
Caitlin gladly indulged in your hands on her biceps, leaving a lingering warmth even after they slid down to her elbows. 
You wiped your forehead dramatically, letting out a puff of air at the show you two had just put on for the cameras, “I wonder where I got the recommendation from.” With an inability to take a compliment, you hid your warming face from her despite the smirk she held, signaling she’d already caught you.
One of your arms nudged her own wordlessly and she childishly did it back to you. You stumbled in your tall heels, saved  like clockwork when she pulled you against her before you could fall the other way, quick and effortless like the action took no thought.
You continued side by side walking down the hallway when Caitlin carefully linked your arms together. You turned your head at the contact and gave her a small adoring smile, one that had her turning to direct her grin at the ground so you wouldn’t see her red cheeks behind her hair.
The harmonious glimmer in the air was something you only felt in Caitlin’s presence, a bond that went unsaid as you both had learned each other too well. A blissful comfort your mind and body welcomed after the anxiety your prior day.
Warm ups came and went, a fleeting comfortability of distraction that went all too fast. As you walked off the court, the prominent cameras and microphones flocked to you as if they were seagulls fighting over a scrap of food. 
Your head hadn’t cleared since the discovery you made in the closet earlier, added with the pressure of their cameras pushing into your face. You tried to find something to train your eyes on, something to focus on and keep your nerves down.
You realized how bad of an idea that was when your other option was Caitlin as she waited, with her unwavering and intimidating attention focused on you. Her stature exuded confidence, legs spread as if she owned the space, her arm laid on the back of the chair beside her with a powerful grip on the metal that had the veins in her arm showing.
“Sorry, could you repeat that?” You slowly blinked at the reporter, licking your lips to get rid of the dry feeling in your mouth. The brunette watched you shuffle on your feet, a nervous tell.
A gasp left your lips when a water bottle entered your side view, too focused on avoiding Caitlin’s distracting gaze to notice that she’d waltzed up with her water bottle for you. Her eyebrows were raised in an expectant manner when you took more than a second to grab it, simply knowing you all too well. 
You laughed and took it from her with a gentle ‘thank you’, ignoring the rush of giddiness when she decided to stay against your side as you took a small but much needed sip. 
The reporter repeated his question and put the mic toward your own mouth once he finished, though you deflated at the clearly narrative driven journalism that he showed.
“Do you think Liberty is coming into the match today looking down on your team for the previous three losses?” 
You resisted the urge to side eye the brunette to your left, who you felt gently squeeze the arm behind your back in a silent acknowledgement hidden from the cameras.
“I don’t think they can look down at us, most of us are pretty tall,” You shrugged off the question, sharing a mutually playful and amused look with Caitlin beside you. Her hand moved to rest on your back in encouragement, another small squeeze that was hidden from the reporters, meant for only the two of you.
The man looked down, an attempt at hiding from the antagonizing laughs that the rest of the journalists let out. Your head turned, your temple resting on Caitlin’s shoulder as you tried to hide the unprofessional giggles you were sharing with your teammate.
Your laughter died down slowly when Caitlin lifted her phone up to her mouth like a microphone, mocking the media right in front of their faces, “Pressing question, what is your favorite movie of all time?”
You leaned into the device, now putting your hand on her shoulder to get closer to the microphone, “My favorite movie of all time is Spider-Man.” Caitlin nodded as you spoke, eyes trained on you with an intent expression at your answer.
“That upside down kiss scene changed my brain chemistry, how do you even realistically do that?” You added absentmindedly with a laugh, noticing immediately how the athlete beside you perked up like a dog who’d heard a box of treats shaking.
“I think I can hang upside down from the hoop, if you wanna try?” Caitlin smirked at you, a cockiness tainting her words that had you wanting to melt into the floor.
Her brown eyes basked in the shy tilt of your head away from her as your cheeks warmed at the words. You stumbled for some kind of response and could only settle for a dismissive laugh despite a few seconds of troubleshooting.
“Stop,” Your words were cushioned with a laugh, hands gently pushing her stomach to get some distance, ignoring how much muscle you felt in such a small interaction. 
You fumbled with your hair, suddenly feeling hot and ] went back to looking at the camera to calm the increasing and intimidating beat of your heart. With a small sigh, you tried to move past the light-hearted teasing she always hit you with, but her comforting warmth against your side sucked you further in. 
It was in her nature to be an instigator anyway, you tried to tell yourself as you gave your full attention to the journalist.
If only you knew that everything she’d said to you in the last three years had been anything but light-hearted. The line of Caitlin’s teasing had been long forgotten in her mind when her words had simply become scattered truths disguised with a playful attitude.
She rocked back and forth on her heels silently and tried not to pettily pull away from your alluring presence, feeling rejected yet accepted at the same time. She couldn’t find it in herself to tear apart from you, too comfortable in the warmth of your touch. Perhaps she had earned a sadist title as she let herself fall into you once again, knowing damn well you weren’t hers. 
And it was a brutal reminder as you swallowed nervously and made the decision put some separation between your bodies.
The nerves began to set in as you sat in the locker room, messing with your hair as you tried to mentally prepare. Caitlin watched you from her corner, ignoring the way her teammates giggled at her repetitive glances in your direction.
Erica leaned over to whisper to Aliyah as Caitlin finally stood up and trailed across the room to sit next to you, the two giggling like school girls over gossip. The glare that the point guard sent them only made them laugh more, hiding behind their hands to communicate. The brunette’s scrunched up face was a dead giveaway to her worry for you, only hearing bits and pieces of your conversation on the phone.
“They were brand new flowers, Luke,” You insisted quietly, set on not allowing him to make you feel bad. This piqued Caitlin’s interest further when she realized what you were talking about, trying to tie her sneakers silently. She couldn’t help the way her eyes still flew to you.
“I can get you new flowers, I don’t know how to fix this,” He sounded anxious and it made your guilt spike up. You tried to ground your spinning head and give yourself a subtle reminder that this was a matter of ignorance, not incompetence. 
The confusion in his voice seemed genuine, as if he was searching for a way to read your mind. Maybe you hadn’t been clear enough?
You rubbed your forehead, your closed eyes being hidden from the light not doing much to ease the headache forming, “It’s like if I threw away a Play Station gift card you hadn’t used yet because I assumed it was expired.” 
The immediate ‘oh’ that left his lips in understanding was bitter sweet, an exhausting cycle of having to dumb things down as if you were babysitting a child and having to teach them respect and consequences.
“I’m sorry I made you upset,” He followed up and you felt like all the explaining you had just done had tumbled down upon analyzing his wording, “You know I’ve just missed you so much since you went pro, I don’t wanna fight when we barely talk as it is.”
The physical therapist would have yelled at you with the way your head fell aggressively back against the lockers, posture slumped and eyes still shut to shield yourself from reality. Defeat consumed you, the circles your mind had been running in paling in comparison to the circles you’d been talking in with Luke.
The hand holding your phone tiredly fell down to rest on the bench despite Luke’s voice still sounding from it quietly. There was no flinch when the device was taken from your hand, a familiar soft grasp settling on your wrist that assured you who it was. You assumed she had hung up for you when his voice was cut off abruptly.
“You’re gonna do great,” Caitlin’s voice was still easily recognizable behind your closed eyes, like a song you knew from the first beat. She didn’t miss how your lips quirked up.
“And whatever, or whoever,” the words were absolutely bitter to Caitlin’s own ears, “is upsetting you isn’t important right now.”
You peaked one eye open to glance sideways at her, “Sounds like the easy and confident words of a record breaking rookie expecting a triple double tonight.” 
“It’s whatever,” she brushed off what you said, more focused on your nerves than her accomplishments. It left you baffled, shoving her shoulder to which she grasped your hand to defend another attack. 
You still scoffed, giving her an incredulous look as if she’d just offended your first born, “That’s ridiculous, be proud of yourself for five seconds please.”
She silently counted five seconds in her head and you squinted at her unimpressed as you realized what she was doing. When the five seconds was up, you couldn’t help but share a laugh at her persistent sarcastic nature with a slight shove to her shoulder.
“You deserve more than five seconds, Cait,” You scolded, but laughed with her regardless.
“You should trust me, we’ve got this,” She barely acknowledged the praise and put her hand on your knee, you didn’t have to look away as you laid yours on top, “Ready?” 
The nerves regarding the game seemed to dissipate, insignificant when she held out her hands and pulled you up from the bench to chest bump quickly. You landed on the ground with a breathless chuckle, turning your attention to Coach as you prepared to go out onto the court.
The game started off with a buzzing crowd and ethereal energy that didn’t seem quite real. Fans were donned in an overwhelming amount of red, eager bodies jumping at the sight of the team exiting the tunnel.
You and Caitlin had been bouncing off each other since the first whistle blew, handing the ball off to her and watching as she drained her first 3 pointer only 30 seconds into the game. 
Only 5 minutes in and you couldn’t help but nudge Caitlin’s side with a glimmering smile as you passed her on the court, finding it impossible not to soak in the glory of a great lead and defense so far. 
The scoreboard still lead in Fever’s favor, reading out a cheerful sight of 15-6. The straight set look on her features broke when she looked at you, sharing the moment of excitement bashfully with no extra convincing, just the influence of your smile.
By the end of the first quarter, Fever was still off to an 8 point lead. This had you and Caitlin conjoining hands excitedly when the buzzer sounded, a quick celebration amidst the chaos of the crowd and game.
The second quarter was a give and take, feeling like every shot you made, Liberty would quickly answer back with. It’d grew to a score of 33-32, Fever being only one point ahead. That was until Sabrina stepped back to drain another three, putting Liberty in the lead and lighting another fire within the players on the court.
Your eyes subconsciously flittered around until they landed on the number 22 jersey you always looked for. Finding her gaze already on yours was comforting, like she knew you needed that subtle pick me up.
3 minutes into the last quarter and you could tell that your team was giving its all. With a close score in Liberty’s favor of 66-57, it was safe to say that the final 7 minutes were crucial.
You were already on the move to the opposite end of the court when a missed shot by Thornton bounced off the rim and fell into Caitlin’s possession, marking the triple double she had been working towards.
The crowd’s screams bounced off the walls, echoing and hurting your ears in a way that you welcomed gleefully as you cheered along.
Even though you were still running toward your own basket, Caitlin caught the moment as you turned your head back in her direction with a proud glimmer shining in your eyes, a look only reserved for her. The point guard was thankful for the fact that you’d needed to turn away so she could focus back on the game. And not on the way that a new fire had ignited within her just from your wordless praise.
The ball in her hands passed to yours flawlessly, charging up to the basket as the cheers from the fans watching continued relentlessly. The whistle blew as you attempted your layup, a foul called on Thornton in your favor with the referee granting two free throws.
The roars of the crowd couldn’t stop Caitlin from taking advantage of the whistle to jog over to you, being the first to check on you despite being the furthest away. She knew what she had just accomplished, but the way you were holding your arm with a slight grimace was more of a priority.
Caitlin thought of the cameras picking up on the hand that she kept on the arch of your back all the way to the free throw line, but she truly couldn’t find it in herself to care.
“You okay?” She spoke lowly, eyebrows furred in concern as her eyes flickered over your face, lingering on the taunting view of your lips, so close yet so far.
You weren’t focused enough to notice as your hand squeezed her arm, the excitement of her triple double ranking far higher than preparing for the shots. 
She set her hands on her hips and stepped back to watch you closely, less fueled by the score and more by the fact that you were the one shooting. The brunette put her arms out when the crowd continued to go wild, a clear gesture to silent the cheers and they somehow listened. Peering eyes watching her but she only focused on giving you a small nod of encouragement, now ready to take your shots and thankful for her dissipating the distracting screams. 
The crowd’s energy roared again when you’d drained both shots, another push toward closing the gap in score during the intense back and forth. With only nine seconds left and a 5 point advantage, Fever was running like a cohesive machine. The crowd began cheering when Liberty’s shot bounced off the backboard and Caitlin grabbed the rebound eagerly, only dropping it when the final buzzer sounded, marking the official victory for your team.
You hopped into her open and awaiting arms the second she’d dropped the ball, a bundle of force that she welcomed and expected. Her arms came to wrap around your thighs, lifting you so high up in the air that you had to squeal and hold onto her shoulders. 
Your forehead leaned to rest on the top of her head, “You are unreal.” Your voice amounted to less than a whisper, encompassing how proud of her you were. 
It was terrifying how simple it was to tune out the booming volume of the crowd for Caitlin when you spoke to her in that reserved, soft voice. The brunette didn’t answer verbally, setting you on the ground gently and burying her face in your chest. Her arms slid up to your waist and you loosely wrapped yours around her upper body, cradling her head against you as you swayed back and forth.
She let herself be consumed you for just a moment, a moment where Luke didn’t exist and you were celebrating as her girlfriend. The familiarity of her body against yours could’ve had her fooled, an unsaid and unaddressed intimacy you’d both been lacking with others. 
But for that split second, it went beyond words, a conscious choice to bask in the victory with only one another. Caitlin couldn’t keep the grin off her face and neither could you. Her touch only heightened the bliss you were working off of as the team retreated back to the locker room.
Caitlin was busy looking at the reporters in front of her and you took the chance to fondly flutter your eyes over her features, an enamoring glow radiating through her smile that only a win could provoke.
Her arm hung around your neck and yours around her waist, footsteps in a slow synchronization as you took your time walking down the hallway.
“I can’t believe we did that,” She breathed out, using her arm to pull your face just a little too close to hers in a fleeting moment of pure adrenaline.
You couldn’t help but admire how humble the girl in front of you had grown to be, a remarkable sense of team in a game that some played selfishly.
“Yeah,” You pretended to think and savored her gaze concentrated on your expression, “I guess you did enough to make it a ‘we’ situation.” One of your free fingers poked her stomach, indulging when she sunk right back into your side after shying away.
“Triple double, how does it feel?” A reporter cut in, walking backwards to match the pace of you and Caitlin. You cheered, your hands circling your mouth to echo the sound even louder as Caitlin laughed.
“Like another one of these,” She tugged you closer underneath her arm to make a ‘W’ with her hands, covering your overly cheesy grin from the camera, “Shoutout to the fans though, they kept us going in that second half.” The brunette couldn’t help but add humbly.
Entering the locker room felt like an orchestrated sneak attack, Caitlin thought as you lead her into the abnormally quiet area. Her teammates sat with incriminating grins, Coach standing at the front of the room with two empty spots directly beside her.
Like clockwork, the pair of you sat beside one another, a bashful grin appearing on Caitlin’s face at the building anticipation. You couldn’t help but join in on the giddiness, tinting her cheeks red when you gave her a teasing nudge.
The entire room was watching the two of you silently, fondly eyeing one another.
“First time for a rookie to get a triple double in franchise history!”
Screams erupted before Coach Sides could finish her sentence. The two of you being bombarded by a flood of cold water, courtesy of the bottles held by your teammates who ran around like sugar crazed children in the name of Caitlin’s accomplishment.
She leaned back against you fully, letting the water rain down on both of your bodies. Though the liquid was freezing enough to leave you shivering as it dripped down your jersey, you only focused on the warmth of Caitlin’s back against you and her radiant smile as the team cheered her on. 
Your loud and proud hollers were her favorite. Your voice standing out to her more than the rest of the room, prompting the bashful grin and light flush of her cheeks as she rested her head back against your shoulder.
The towel you wrapped gently around her shoulders was a weak comparison to the way you’d been wrapped around her. She tried to imagine the feeling again, the ghost of your touch haunting her the second it strayed away.
She got pulled around the room by the rest of the team, but her eyes refused to stray from you every few seconds. There had only been one person she wanted to celebrate with and she was currently packing her back in the other corner. “Good job everybody,” Caitlin called out, holding up the basketball in her hands toward the rest of her team with her radiant smile on full display. 
“Did you wanna do something after we get done with press?” She passed the ball back and forth between her hands, her nervousness making her movements rapid and causing her to stumble slightly.
“The franchise record breaker doesn’t have a hot date to tend to tonight?” You squinted, fumbling around with items in your bag, oblivious to the exasperation coating Caitlin’s features.
She had one particular in mind, she just wasn’t sure if the other party would consider it a date. Her hands clutched the towel on her shoulders to gain some self control back.
She’d went to open her mouth to reply, aiming to not sound overly desperate. The idea of desperation flew out the window when a tiny clink traveled into her ears courtesy of the small object that slipped out from your bag. 
You had no idea, rambling on about how proud you were, something about taking time to appreciate herself. But nothing could be heard over the deafening ringing intruding on Caitlin’s senses, eyes zoned in on the diamond ring staring tauntingly back at her. A nod to a milestone that she would never reach with you.
Caitlin stayed painfully still, not even allowing her eyes to stray from the sight, scared that moving would make this moment set in reality. You were a blissful level of unaware of the war going on in her head, while the sides of morally right and corruptively gray teetered back and forth.
“Alright,” You breathed out as you hiked your bag up on your shoulder, ignorant to the glittering ring just centimeters from your foot, “I could use a drink.”
With an expert like timing, the girl waited for you to head toward the door, back facing her for just enough time to allow her to scoop up the ring in her grasp. She squeezed her eyes shut as she rose to her full height again, a silent prayer for a good segway into playing this off.
“You coming?” You turned around to ask, facing Caitlin just in time to see her standing up in a rushed movement. One hand fiddled with her hair while the other was gripped in a fist, clasping tight to hold in all the secrets that threatened to break loose.
“Coming.” Her legs carried her to you with no further hesitance, a pit of dread slipping into her stomach, in unison with the harrowing ring sliding achingly into her jacket pocket.
Tumblr media
taglist: @lovermcres @glorioushamsterqueen @miedmead @blueagle45 @pbloverr @cavillary @elizabethkitley @1-800-fantasy @into-f0lkl0re @mysticchildsuit @sapphicmermaid @ureleesian @stydiaownsmyheart
series taglist: @wnbaforthewin @stefanshope @sewiouslyz @kaelaheartsyou @caitlin-clark-obsessed @trinscam @julienbakerloverr @muhlsfilm @paigebueckresfan8282 @sadie-bug7 @madismadmad @dinosaurstrandedonnublarisland @kenzlovesyou @zolofts @gaydonutdino @jujubuckets @elliewilliamsthang @princes21w @bookendsandbrokenhearts @mayghosts @isntthatsweetiguessso @cookiecrunchyum @hellokitty-6996 @slutforpaige @the-other-half @simp4panos @charlottehughess
319 notes · View notes
cdbabymp3 · 7 months
Note
can u write something about hamzah being nervy for his first time w u cus he’s a virgin 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 i’d actually go insane
𐙚the first time ― hamzahthefantastic
notes/warnings: nsfw !! reader is slightly more experienced than hamzah this might be the first and last time i write a full length fic for this acc i went through every stage of grief making this
Tumblr media
it started super innocent. a couple kisses exchanged in the kitchen while making dinner together. you guys had decided to have a little fancy date night at home, since it was pouring rain outside. hamzah lit candles and everything. while eating dinner, you can feel his energy radiate off of him, like he's longing for something but won't quite say what. usually he's pretty straightforward with his feelings, hating to beat around the bush, but right now... this was not the case.
"is everything alright?" you ask softly, as he gets up to clear your empty plates
he places the plates in the sink, looking up at you, "uh, yeah? why? does it seem like something's up?' he speaks a mile a minute, now clumsily rinsing the dirty dishes
"well, no. i don't know, you just seem like there's something on your mind." you further, he keeps his gaze down at the dishes, scrubbing and rinsing far more than what's needed. is he stalling?
"nah, i'm fine, don't worry." he lies poorly, grabbing a rag and starting to dry the plates. his eyes are still failing to meet yours, a tell-tale sign he's not being honest.
dating for 4 months, intimacy and sex was a topic hamzah always found a way to tip toe around. yes, you guys have talked about sex before, but it was never in a serious way. he would always make a joke to the only way you even found out about his lack of experience was during a drunken night, trying to get him into bed to sleep.
"wait, hold up-i've never done this before, i've never done this before, i've never done this before... y/n wait...." he slurred out, delirious laughter quickly turning into panicked muttering
the memory burns in the back of your mind, even more so because he hasn't brought up that night since, nor do you think he even remembers.
he's still drying an already-dry-plate with so much force, that the plate dwindles nearly in and out of his grip. he bites the inside of his cheek, eyes narrow. something's festering, it's so plain to see.
"are you sure? because you can tell me if it's-"
before you could get another word out, the plate he was holding slips out of his hand, hitting the kitchen floor and breaking into a million pieces.
"fuck." he sighs, throwing the rag into the sink angrily and puts a hand over his eyes
you step over to him slowly, trying to avoid the ceramic shards on the floor.
"hamzah-"
"no, don't come over here. let me clean it up first." he removes the hand from his eyes, revealing you standing a foot away with a hand extended towards him to reach for. he thinks on it for a moment, but takes it, walking out of the kitchen and into your embrace.
"what's going on, hm?" you rub his back, trying to calm him down
"it's so fucking embarrassing, y/n, trust me. i can't even say it out loud." he mumbles, releasing himself from the hug and taking a seat on the couch
you follow him, sitting in the adjacent chair. waiting patiently for him to speak, you give him a reassuring smile. it's silent for so long and at this point, you start to catch onto what has him so distraught; the only milestone in your relationship that's been left unconquered. you can practically see the cogs in his brain turning and processing how he wants to go about telling you this information. to save him from his spiraling, you decide to intervene. "you know i don't care, right?" vague enough not to scare him from the topic, but hopefully enough to allude to what he's trying to say.
"care about what?" he frowns, head titled
"remember that night when you got really drunk and i had to drive us home? and you were super delirious, so i had to help you get ready for bed?" he simply nods, still not seeing where you're going with this. "well-um, when i was helping you change out of your clothes and get into bed, you kept repeating 'i've never done this before' over and over again. i didn't want to assume you meant it that way, but..."
he now puts not one, but both hands over his eyes, sheer humiliation hits him like a 50-foot wave. "oh my fucking god, that's so embarrassing."
"what- no, no, no. it's okay, trust me. it's okay, hamzah, seriously."
he hunches over so his elbows rest on his knees, face in his palms, as he's trying to process this. "i-wow... you knew this whole time too, that's crazy." still reeling, he laughs nervously.
"hamzah, it literally changes nothing for me. i just want you to feel comfortable enough to talk to me about it." you get up and sit next to him, putting a hand on his thigh for comfort.
"i know, i know. i was gonna say something tonight," he lifts his face from his hands, "that's why i was so wound up, i think...nerves, you know?"
"yeah, i understand."
"i feel really guilty sometimes... like, that we haven't done anything. i don't want you to think that it's because i don't want to- i do, i really do. i don't know why, but i get so nervous anytime we're in the moment and it could happen. i always chicken out. i just want it to be good for you..."
your heart melts at his confession. "hey, no, don't feel guilty. i'm willing to wait. whenever you're ready, i'm ready." your hand leaves his thigh and rubs his back the way he likes. he snickers and your hand pauses. "what?"
"that's what i was gonna talk to you about; whether or not you wanted to, um...tonight?"
"oh! i-"
"i mean, if you don't want to, we don't have to. i thought that it seemed like a good night since it's just us and the rain outside is honestly kinda romantic, i don't know, maybe i-"
you put a hand over his mouth and you can feel him smile against your palm. "you're overthinking this."
"i-" his voice is muffled against your hand, so he lightly takes your wrist and removes it. "i'm overthinking, but also have no idea what the fuck to do. i mean-i know 'what to do' in a biological sense, but like-" he catches himself in the middle of another ramble and nods knowingly, shaping his lips into a thin line.
"we can take it slow, yeah? just breathe..." you whisper, the hand that was once placed on his back slithering to the back of his head, causing him to turn his face to you.
"okay." he matches your tender volume, allowing his body to relax with a long exhale
you wait for all the air to peacefully leave his lungs before grabbing his hand and getting up. it takes him a second, but he obliges as you lead him into his bedroom. you give him a quick kiss, crawling onto the bed as he follows suit.
"c'mere" you coo
he can't hide the excitement on his face, getting on the bed with urgency and positioning his frame above yours. you wrap your hands around the back of his head and engulf him in a heated kiss. one arm stabilizes him above you, while the other holds your hip. this he's done with you before, this was his comfort zone. what comes next is new and surprises you. his hand glides from your hip, up your torso to your right boob, giving it a squeeze over your shirt. a pleased sigh gets caught in your throat and you feel his hand hesitate, so you put a hand on top of his to continue. it's funny because you can tell he does actually know what to do, but it's obvious that doing with an actual person is throwing him off a little. after a moment or two, he moves on to your other boob, giving it equal attention. you start to play with the hem of his shirt, which he's quick to notice and pulls off. his lips connect with your neck this time and the contact makes your stomach feel incredibly warm. his position in between your legs gives you easy access to his toned chest and torso, so you slide your hands from his collarbones down to right before the waistline of his pants as he continues to his ministrations on your neck. this earns a low hum from him, the vibration of the sound against your neck makes you giggle. he giggles too, happy that some of his nervous tension is being relieved. some minutes pass and you feel what will be a generously sized hickey tomorrow morning planted just below your jaw as hamzah's mouth leaves the skin to breathe.
"um... i should probably get you out of these." his fingertips ghost under the band of your midi skirt and underwear, to which you nod more desperate than you mean to. he cracks his famous grin before sliding the skirt down your legs. once it reaches your ankles you kick it off. he looks down at your black, lacy underwear and blinks slowly. in this brief pause, you take the liberty to peel off your top. to hamzah's delight, your bra matches your underwear with a pink bow in the center.
"you're so cute" he beams, kissing your lips, mouth then heading down between your cleavage to your navel. he leaves sloppy, open-mouthed kisses until he reaches the thin line of your underwear, giving your clothed-clit a sweet kiss.
"mmh" your hips jerk up involuntarily
"yeah? that good, baby?" he asks genuinely, his innocent voice starkly contrasting how his fingers loop around your underwear and drag them down your thighs. feeling your underwear completely off, you sit up to rid yourself of your bra but he clicks his tongue. "i got it."
"oh, you got it?" you tease and he rolls his eyes
"shh" he pulls one of the straps down your shoulder, enough to kiss where it previously was before reaching behind and undoing the clasps swiftly. the garment slips down your arms and he catches it, tossing it alongside the rest of your discarded clothes. "jesus..." his eyes widen, your bare chest on full display for him. he leans down, about to take a nipple to into his mouth when you place a hand on his cheek to stop him. "wh-do you not want me to do that?"
"no, baby, it's not that. it's just-" you take his hand and guide it down to your core, allowing his fingertips to brush past your wetness.
he raises his eyebrows at the feeling, getting your not-so-subtle hint. "oh...i-okay, you're, like, ready, huh?" his voice quivers, a rhetorical question but it's so endearing. "here-uh, lemme get a condom." he leans and extends an arm across you to his bedside table. nervously fumbling with the drawer, he grabs the packet and situates himself back between your legs. in the same position as before, one arm holding himself up and the other putting the packet between his teeth to open, you put a hand on his arm and laugh.
"hamzah, your pants."
"oh, shit, i forgot. hold up," he says, the condom packet still between his teeth as unbuttons his pants and slides them off along his underwear in no time. you can tell by the look on his face, he's getting shy, so you let him do things at the pace he wants. you swear you blink and he's already rolled the condom onto himself, positioning his body inches from where you need him. he looks conflicted, so you cup his face to let him know you're here. "i was already a nervous wreck before, but it just hit me now even more..." he confesses just above a whisper, his cheek feels hot with self-consciousness as you caress it
"do you want some help?" you offer and his eyes soften, visibly grateful that he didn't have to verbally ask you.
"sorry." he apologizes
"no it's okay, baby, here-" you put a hand on top of the one that he holds himself with and move him closer and closer to your entrance. his tip makes contact and you bite your lip, moving him along your arousal to lessen the pain you assume will come based on how sizable he feels. "i'm gonna go slow, okay? it's been a while since i last did this..." you admit, carefully pulling his hand so that his tip only makes it past your folds. his chest starts to rise and fall, his glued to yours and not daring to leave.
"y/n..." he moans, feeling himself finally enter you
the stretch alone has you grabbing for his bicep, mouth open in shock. "fuck" you gasp, trying to adjust to his size.
his eyes scan yours, seeing your discomfort bubbling. "should i stop? am i hurting you, baby?" he starts to panic
"no, i'm okay, just keep going. you can m-move now, if you want." you pant out eagerly and he does as told, pulling back, but not out and thrusting back in nice and slow. he starts to find a rhythm and repeats this at the perfect cadence.
"there you go, you got it-ah" you praise him, which only works him up more, rutting into you now with more haste than ever; he's finally getting comfortable. your nails drag down his broad back, making him whine into your neck, hitting a spot inside you no one's hit before. he knows way more than he thinks. you can feel him start to chase his release, twitching as his sounds start to rise in pitch.
"baby, i think i'm gonna-fuck!" his hips snap and stagger with one final thrust, the coil in his stomach snapping vigorously. his high leaves him trembling above you, barely able to hold up his weight.
"virgin no more" you whisper dramatically, brushing his black curls out of his eyes, a sheer layer of sweat making them stick to his skin a bit.
"b-but you didn't cum... i came in like fucking 3 minutes and you didn't-"
you interrupt him with a kiss, different than the ones you were sharing moments ago. this one held something more than lust or desire.
"i don't care, i'm proud of you." you rest a thumb on his full bottom lip, toying with it. "plus, it was your first time, not your last. you can make it up to me."
Tumblr media
so fucking anxious to post this 🥸 yes there will be a pt.2! idk when quite yet bc i'm gonna need a couple days to recover from this
send in hc requests !!! i enjoy writing those a lot and can get them done quicker <333
໒꒰ྀི´ ˘ ` ꒱ྀིა taglist ; @forevergirlposts , @junebugin-july , @itgirlvirgo (lmk if u wanna be added !!!)
595 notes · View notes
passionpeachy · 6 months
Note
Sorry if this is weird but I wanted to say it's so comforting to know that there are other lesbians in their mid-to-late 20s who haven't had their first kiss or anything. I know gay people in general tend to reach those milestones later than cishet people but I've always felt like I was way behind even my gay peers, and it has really put a dent in my sense of self-worth. So, you mentioning that you've never kissed anyone made me feel a little less alone. :) Love your art and hope you are doing well.
You should look at the concept of "your first kiss" less as a milestone you have to achieve at a certain age and more of an intimate thing that happens when YOU want to do it, if you even want to do it at all.
I have no idea what your situation is like, but personally I literally just haven't felt a super strong urge to kiss anyone near me here in this very South Texan city. People aren’t really “visibly” queer here with pride flags and stuff, including me. We’ve only had 2 small Pride parades before and that’s it. I'm sure this would eventually change if I lived somewhere more queer-friendly with more sapphics who were my specific type (butch and nonbinary lesbians are pretty much nonexistent here. I once got embarrassingly excited when I saw one(1) online who lived here. It’s like all the real attraction I’ve been deprived of all my life hit me like a truck. No, I’ve never talked to them lol)
......but I'm not saying the girls here aren't ever cute or anything. They’re beautiful actually. Mostly bisexual latinas. I've definitely had some gay moments here and there. It just wasn't enough to spiral into more than light flirting and a cheek kiss, I guess. There’s also the severity of insecurity and mental illness that makes one a homebody, but I don’t want to get into that right now.
So while I want it, I love the idea of it, I'm not really that ashamed about being inexperienced this late in life. Seems more common than people are willing to admit tbh. ANYWAY, I rambled too much. My point is you shouldn't tie this to your self-worth and don't let anyone, even other queer people, make you feel bad about it
500 notes · View notes
cutiecusp · 2 months
Text
One last call.
Simon 'Ghost' Riley x König x Reader.
TW. Talks of death, rivalry, filthy language, angst, betrayal, an established relationship, NOT a HOA! kissing, mild inappropriate boundary crossing. MDNI! (Also, I couldn't find the credits to this image, if someone does, lemme know!)
You were bleeding out.
A mission gone wrong.
Bad Intel means you were the only one left alive.
Hiding behind a crate, you manage to drag your body out of the snow, using the wood as a shield from the elements. Teeth chattering, you call Simon, your ex fiance.
"Ghost." He answers.
The breath gets punched out of you by the cold, so you take a minute to gather your breath, and your thoughts.
"Si." You murmur, just loud enough he can hear you.
"Why are you calling me?" He answers bluntly. Your relationship has been rocky for months, missed dinners, birthdays, missed milestones, the anger issues after a tough deployment... You had regretfully called things off before this deployment.
"I.. I got hit, Si. Dodgy Intel." You explain, pain low in your body.
You hear him grip the phone in his hand, his voice gruff.
"Fuck! I can get Price to get Nikolai-"
You interrupt him, wincing as you shake your head.
"No, It'll be too late, Si. I just wanted to hear your voice."
"I'm on my way." Came the clipped reply.
You let out a dry chuckle.
"Always so bossy."
You pause, your breathing shallow.
You manage to roll onto your back, your eyes glossy with tears.
"Sorry, we never got to fix this." You say softly.
A gunshot rings out in the silence, before heavy footsteps crunch in the snow.
"I'm not alone." You whisper.
"Stay on the line, love. Don't leave me." Simon replies.
Over the next few minutes, the sound of singular gunshots ring through the snowy compound. A single pair of boots crunch through the deep snow that's piling up on the ground.
"Whoever it is, they are making sure people are dead." You whisper, fear taking over you as you realise you can't move, your injuries won't allow you to escape quickly.
Simons heart sinks.
"Play dead, hide in the snow, stay alive till I come for you, I'm getting in the chopper now.. please love. I'm coming."
All you can do is lie there, tears frosting down your cheeks as you realise you are next. The door to the storage room you are next to is kicked open, but you are silent.
Large footsteps sealed your fate as the imposing figure spots your boots.
"Oh, I forgot one." Came a thick accent, causing you to freeze.
"Ah, a little maus... far away from home."
He kicks your boot, pain throbbing through your body as you swallow a scream.
"Such a pretty one, too.." in your eyeline, you see a behemoth of a man, a hood covering his face, blood staining his entire front. He pauses when he sees your face.
"Ah, I've been looking for you."
Fear grips you, but you dare not move.
Your phone falls from your hand as he stands on your wrist, and your eyes finally meet his. Deeply dark, crazed and focused on you.
"Who's there with you, love?" You hear Simon say over the phone.
"Ah, Geist..." the masked man calls out.
"König?" Splutters the reply.
"In the flesh."
"Leave her out of this!" Simon yells, his voice loud through the call.
König laughs, squatting over you, pulling you by your tactical vest to pull you flush against him, his eyes roaming your body.
"She's a pretty one, would make such a lovely trophy." He calls out, antagonising Simon more.
He traces a gloved hand down your cheek, and you can't look away from him. His body is pressed tight against yours, and you can feel every inch of him.
"She's pretty broken, too. It looks like my men did their job in getting her to me."
Your eyes widen, he was behind this?
"Why?" You whisper out, cursing your shaky voice.
"Why? He took everything from me, my wife, my future... so I'm here to repay the favour. An eye for an eye, you call it?"
He removes his helmet, uncovering his face, scarred and war torn, pale and seething.
"Beg for your life, I want him to suffer like i did."
You shake your head, refusing to play his game.
"Don't touch her!" Simon roars down the phone.
"I'm on my way to you, and I'll finish what I started." He continues.
König laughs dryly.
You try and pull away, pulling his fingers off your vest. He grips harder, forcing you closer, his breath warming your cheek.
"I like a struggle, little lamb." He warns, his eyes deadly cold. You pause, your body limp.
"Ah, there's still some fire in you. I see why he likes you." He pulls out his pistol, the metal shining in the low light.
"I won't tell you again. Beg."
You spit at him, his cheek coated in your fluids. Scoffing, he swipes it from his cheek and brings it to his lips.
"So. Fucking. Defiant."
His gloved hand slaps your cheek hard before pressing his fingers into them, tilting your chin up, demanding him to look at you. He leans down and presses a kiss to your lips, surprisingly soft. Marking his territory, claiming a victory.
"I didn't want to do this, but he left me no choice. I wanted you for myself. I even tried recruiting you to my team a few times, but you were his.." he spits.
"Now, I want to give you the opportunity yourself. Come with me. I'll get you medical treatment. I'll give you a good life. Or you can die in the snow, I'll make it quick."
You hesitate. You weren't ready to die. You had unfinished business with Simon. But you were tired of being second to everything, tired of making excuses for him, tired of being let down. Your vision was starting to get spotty, and you knew this was the biggest choice of your life.
You look at König, and realise you two were the same. Your lives had been taken apart by a common denominator.
His eyes soften. He nods, understanding your unspoken answer. He picks up the phone, addressing his rival for the last time.
"I won." He says simply, while shooting into the wooden crate behind you, the loud gunshot echoing the painful cry from the phone.
Hanging up, he looks down at you, your shocked gaze never leaving his.
He gathers you in his arms, striding back to his vehicle.
"Time for a new life, little lamb."
Your eyes flutter as your body relaxes for the first time in what feels like forever. Almost missing the way he snaps a picture of you, sending it to Simon via your phone.
"An eye for an eye. She's mine now."
...........................
A/N I wasn't sure about this one. I'm not good at angst, but I hope I did the idea justice! Back to matchmaker later! Xxxx
@xoxunhinged @muneca-lemon-steppa @livingoutsidethetardis @gardenof-venus @misshugs @soraya-daydreams @frudoo @renpodz @yesornowaitidontknow @thevoiceinyourheadx @shadowdark00 @rynbeerose @lunamoonbby @incredible-walker @identity2212 @pukbadger @urbimom @corvid007 @wordsfromshona @shadows-empress @m00xy @canyonmooncreations
@evie-119 @havoc973 @kylies-love-letter
276 notes · View notes