#even if it takes you a slower amount of time to get to the milestones you want

[solojihyo]

once again as a reminder if your blog is blank i will block you <3 idc if you have likes, if you have zero posts/reblogs and you don't have an icon, header, and/or description, i'm blocking you

[spidernuggets]

Hi Micah!!! It’s missy (@indulgentdaydream. You can’t ask questions with a side blog :( oh well)

Something I’m always thinking about is jason falling for reader so hard, only to realize she’s never actually been in a relationship before/never had any romantic experience

I’m on the fence of whether he would immediately just try and shower her (sparingly, of course, not to overwhelm her) with affection, giving her flowers, buying her gifts, taking her all on kinds of dates, kissing her silly, following her lead on how fast she wanted to go with the relationship, etc

OR

he immediately just takes all his feelings for her and folds them into a neat little box inside himself (like he does with every other feeling of his, i feel) because he feels like she deserves someone better than him to be all her firsts

I CANT DECIDE

-♥️Missy

MISSSYY HELLO MWAH

OKAY, as a person who has no romantic experience whatsoever and the only relationship I've been in was with a psychopath (quick storytime: Few years after i broke up with her, i coincidentally worked at the same place as her brother. mind you, i was working there before him. Then she started telling her friends I WAS A STALKER?!?!?) Anyways. I THINK ABT THIS ALL THE TIME TOO

I know that in all universes, Jason has a significant amount of love interests. But I don't actually think that he's the best at expressing his emotions even when in a relationship. But at the same time, it takes him time to really fall in love, so when he falls, he falls HARD. Like face first into concrete.

He would notice quickly or right away that Reader has never reached this far into a relationship - As in, she never felt anything like this with anyone else. Like, it's a milestone.

Since Jason isn't good with expressing how he feels, I think his love language would be gift giving and quality time.

First, he'd take Reader out on a date and give her a small gift. Maybe like some sort of accessory. He doesn't get anything designer or really expensive, so he doesn't freak Reader out or try to be an extra asshole and flaunt his (Bruce's) money

He very closely observes Reader's reaction. Every twitch, blink, and breath.

Reader would probably give an incredibly cringe worthy and awkward thanks. But it actually means, holy shit, you're so nice, first date and you're already the best boyfriend ever.

BUT Jason doesn't see that. Jason likes to know what's going on at all times, and he seems to be straightforward. So when he drops Reader home, he asks if she's ready to be in a committed relationship or if she wants to take things slower. He's so obsessed with Reader, like if Reader says she doesn't want to kiss him until marriage or something, he'd shrug and say, of course, anything else?

So Reader admits the obvious saying she doesn't know what she's doing. She really really enjoyed the date and also wants to do all that cliché boyfriend girlfriend stuff but doesn't know where to start.

And Jason literally submits himself to Reader.

Like the fact that she enjoyed the date that HE planned? And Reader wants to do boyfriend girlfriend stuff with HIM?

To be honest, if Reader hated anything about that first date, Jason would've buried himself AGAIN.

So he tells Reader that it's okay. That they can do the things all couples do, test things out. See what Reader likes and doesn't like and build their way up from there.

I think it would be the moment returns to his own home that he thinks "What the fuck am I doing? Dragging this poor girl down to hell? Maybe I should tell her I'm not ready. Or ghost her." Poor baby goes through all possibilities. He even comes with the idea of setting Reader up instead with his friends or even his older brother.

But in the end, he promised Reader that they try this relationship thing out. So they do!!

Maybe within 2 or 3 months, Jason is really starting to doubt his role in the relationship. Like every time Reader sleeps over, he's scared of waking her up just because he's having a nightmare, or he's scared he might have an outburst for no reason.

To be honest, it's most likely he'd self-sabotage on purpose and make himself look bad so Reader would have a reason to break up with him because he knows she can find someone better.

Either that, or he'd restrict himself of his emotions, replying or talking to her in a monotone voice, showing no interest.

But Reader would look through his facade and have a little chat with him.

Through the couple of months they've been dating, Jason and Reader have discovered what they like in a relationship. And Reader has discovered how incredibly touch starved Jason is, and that he's a sucker for words of affirmation.

So after their little chat, Reader is just perched on his lap, pressing feather light kisses all over Jason's crying face, telling him what a good boyfriend he is, how perfect he is, and that he's worth more than he thinks.

[livelaughghoul]

Lewis Hamilton - Birth Chart Analysis

Disclaimer: This is for entertainment purposes only, nothing observed or taken away from this should be considered fact. As a reminder, I know fuck all about Formula 1, I just like fast cars (DALE EARNHARDT LIVES ON IN MY DREAMS, GOD BLESS AMERICA). 

Additional disclaimer: I am fucking tired y’all. My week at work has been actual hellfire, and I started my summer classes so I am back to averaging like, three hours of sleep a night and I am overworked, underpaid, and barely surviving (I am NOT thriving). I did NOT dive into the aspects of his chart, honestly, I am exhausted and posting this literally in the middle of the night. As soon as I finish this, I am knocking out for the foreseeable. If anyone really wants, I will look at the aspects, but my eyes are starting to hurt. I’ll get to his tarot reading sometime after I wake up. 

Anyway, here is my look at Lewis’s birth chart, since there seemed to be a lot of interest in his overall chart, I went ahead and dove in much deeper than I have on the others. If there is more interest in this, I am happy to do this for others as well. Unfortunately, I am not able to promise the accuracy of these, as a majority of the charts will be done using UTC unless there is a reliable birth time provided anywhere. 

THE PLANETS:

Sun - Capricorn 

A Capricorn Sun to me is like a warm summer day with a perfect breeze, a feeling of coming home after a long day at work, and a perfectly baked apple crisp. It’s reliable, strong, and levelheaded. With this placement being ruled by Saturn, there is a lot of attention paid to time, how long it has taken to accomplish goals, the milestones, etc. I have no doubts that Lewis is the type to remember those important dates and want to make them important. Lewis has a long-term plan and has it planned out in an incredible amount of detail. The goat is applicable in all terms, steadfast, balanced even in the uncertainly, and stubborn.

Moon - Cancer 

I get the sense that Lewis opens up slower, but when he develops trust with someone it takes a lot to break it. There is so much protective and loyal energy with this placement, I have no doubts that once Lewis finds his people, he does everything in his power to ensure they feel valued and protected. Lewis has a gentle heart, and he loves deeply, like DEEPLY. There is a lot of emotions there, and with a Cancer in Moon there is a a tendency to almost be afraid to feel these emotions because they can be overwhelming. I think that Lewis has done the work necessary though to embrace being as emotional as he is, and there is a sense of power in the emotions he feels. 

Rising - Scorpio 

This is such an intense and petty rising sign, I love it. I also just have a soft spot for literally any Scorpio placement (even toxic men with a scorpio sun). In terms of rising, it’s a lot of resourceful placement, Lewis probably feels a sense of calm when he is in charge and feels that he has control. The one downside to a Scorpio rising is that there is a bit of a temper, like, it takes a lot to set it off, but my god, when it gets going, it’s a verbal tearing down that you would not expect. It’s got people walking away thinking about the things said for hours. 

Mercury (Planet of intelligence) - Sagittarius 

This is really nice placement, but it tells me that Lewis absolutely hates any sort of censorship or PR training. Real big jack of all trades in terms of hobbies, and a natural ability to just pick things up and be absolutely amazing at them. Knitting? One youtube video and hes a professional. Baking? No problem, practically a professional from the one time he read a blog online. Lewis is always open to learning new things and challenging himself. I have no doubts that this man is full of wisdom and grace. 

Venus (Planet of love and pleasure) - Pisces

Again, Lewis is in-touch with his emotions, and is so devoted to those that he deems worthy of his heart. While his chart does indicate that there is a tendency to have a bit of a temper, I have no doubts that once there is a spark there, he is the most gentle and kindhearted man there is. He is devoted and will cherish you with his everything. Unfortunately, there is sometimes a lot of self-sacrifice that comes with this placement that can make relationships difficult in the long run. 

Mars (Planet of physical energy) - Pisces 

I personally find this to be a pretty intense placement. It’s not necessarily due to the physicality of it, I just think that there is a lot of emotion that comes with Pisces, and when it clashes with the physicality of Mars, it can be hard to balance them out. I think that there is a tendency to shoulder others' issues and make them his own. Since Lewis is so in touch with his emotions, I think that there is a deeper and better understanding of what he needs to feel stable in a relationship.

Jupiter (Planet of luck, optimism, and success) - Capricorn 

This is an interesting placement, for a few different reasons. It’s one of my less preferred placements, but it’s definitely not the worst out there! The success in Lewis’s life can truly be attributed to his hard work and dedication. This also tells me that there is going to be longevity to the success, it isn’t just going to end. 

Saturn (Planet of responsibility)  - Scorpio 

Saturn here brings a lot of obstacles, but a lot of them tend to be on the emotional side of things rather than physical. Either there is going to be a huge disagreement between him and someone close to him that blows up into public attention, or this has already happened. This brings back some of that stubborn influence that we see in some other placements, his career is going to be something that lasts well past retirement, it isn’t just going to fizzle out. Retirement isn’t going to be traditional at all, his career is going to extend well past his driving days. 

Uranus (Planet of change and originality) - Sagittarius

Even when faced with change, Lewis is going to handle it with grace. We start to see some of the more unconventional beliefs here too, this tells me that there is a lot of spirituality and reliance on the self and manifestation. 

Neptune (Planet of mystery and illusion) - Capricorn

Lewis, the man that you are. I love a Capricorn Neptune because it is whimsical, driven, passionate, and truly in touch with the natural world. There is a lot of dedication to the self and others with this placement. There is so much hope and desire to understand the world at large and how it works with this placement. With Lewis being so connected to his emotions, I think that there is a lot of emotion tied into this placement as well. There is a lot of balance and self-soothing that can be done through this specific placement. 

Pluto (Planet of death and rebirth) - Scorpio 

Pluto is interesting. I definitely think that there is a lot of passion here, like a lot. Going back to everything else in his chart, this really kind of ties it together really well. I think that there is a lot of balance here. I mean, there is a lot emotion and passion everywhere in the chart, and then we get to this? Where it kind of becomes this overwhelming desire and passion to get their own way. 

THE HOUSES:

First house (House of Self) - Pluto, Saturn, and Southern Node

Saturn in the first house tells me that there is a lot of weight placed on Lewis’s shoulders, the majority of it being there by his own doing. Lewis values hard work, and it really shows through his entire chart. Pluto shines through in more of the personality than the work ethic, Pluto in the first brings this natural charism and charm, that welcomes people in and attracts them naturally. The Southern Node here is pretty brutal, and I think a lot of it comes down to how much emotion is carried through the chart. With the Southern Node here, it can be easy to inadvertently hurt others through words or actions. 

Second house (House of Possessions ) - Uranus and Mercury 

I love Mercury here because we are literally seeing it in real time. There is a luxury to it, an ability to continue pushing the boundaries and just build more financial security and comfort. If it’s something that he believes will make his life easier, he has no problem dropping a pretty penny. I also love Uranus in this placement, because again, we literally see it. It’s typically seen in making great finances in an unconventional career (I would argue and say professional motorsports is unconventional). I wouldn’t be shocked to find out that he has an antiques collection or at least an interest in the vintage or antique world. 

Third house (House of Communication) - Neptune, Sun, and Jupiter

Lewis will have a natural talent for being well-spoken and eloquent in his speech and finds it easy to build a connection with others. There is a lot going on in this house, so I think that there may be a tendency to be disorganized in thought more so than anywhere else. Since Jupiter is the planet of luck, I definitely think that Lewis could talk himself out of any sort of trouble. He just needs to find a mutual connection and it’s game over. I don’t think Lewis would be the type to take advantage of this natural ability to charm others, but I do think there might be a tendency to weaponize it when he is feeling wounded. Neptune brings a lot of balance here, and really furthers the belief that he is a spiritual babe! I have no doubts that Lewis finds the occult to be interesting! I would literally give anything to have a chat with him over some occult ideals. 

Fifth house (House of Creativity and Sex) - Venus and Mars 

LITERALLY THE BEST FUCKING PLACEMENT. We have the planet of pleasure and love in the same house as the planet of energy and assertiveness. Venus tells us that Lewis is a natural romantic, and he knows how to make someone feel like they are the center of the universe. Paired with Mars, we see that there is almost an impulsivity to this romantic aspect of things, and that competitive nature comes through. He is going to be the best thing that has happened to someone, he will make damn sure of that. 

Seventh house (House of Marriage and Partnership) - Northern Node

I love the Northern Node here, truly. I’ve said it already, but I’ll say it again. Lewis Hamilton is willing to commit, to his career, to friends, to partners. He is not afraid of commitment at all. This natural charm that he carries is so infectious. He absolutely is going to be the best husband out there, like holy shit. 

Eighth house (House of Death and regeneration, and legacies) - Chiron 

I don’t love the wounded healer being in this house, like at all. To me this symbolizes holding onto things that he should not, likely leading to a festering rage. As I stated earlier, it likely takes a lot to get to the point where Lewis feels that it is necessary to end a relationship in any capacity, it is going to cause a lot of personal pain and bring up a lot of challenges. 

Ninth house (House of Mental Exploration) - Moon 

Lewis is a philosophical man at heart, I have no doubts that when he gets on a topic he is passionate about, he gets deep. I love this placement for him, because it usually means a lot of success in travel, and it’s my understanding (I am sorry for my lack of f1 knowledge guys), that he is constantly traveling. 

[ethswap]

Bitcoin: All It's Hyped Up to Be?

Had you spent $27 on Bitcoin when it was created by Satoshi Nakamoto in 2009 your investment would now be worth over $37,000,000.

Widely regarded as the greatest investment vehicle of all time, Bitcoin has seen a meteoric rise during 2017 going from $777 all the way to $17,000.

Creating millionaires out of opportunistic investors and leaving financial institutions open-mouthed, Bitcoin has answered its critics at every milestone this year and some believe this is just the beginning.

The launch of Bitcoin futures on December 10th, which for the first time will allow investors to enter the Bitcoin market through a major regulated US exchange, implies that we are just getting started.

What makes Bitcoin so valuable is that there is a finite amount in existence. There will only ever be a maximum of 21 million Bitcoins and unlike normal fiat currencies you can't just print more of them whenever you feel like. This is because Bitcoin runs on a proof of work protocol: in order to create it, you have to mine it using computer processing power to solve complex algorithms on the Bitcoin blockchain. Once this is achieved, you are rewarded with Bitcoin as payment for the "work" you have done. Unfortunately the reward you get for mining has decreased drastically almost every year since Bitcoin's inception, which means that for most people the only viable way to get Bitcoin is buying it on an exchange. At the current price levels is that a risk worth taking?

Many believe Bitcoin is simply a bubble. I spoke to cryptocurrency expert and long term investor Duke Randal who thinks the asset is overvalued, "I would compare this to many supply and demand bubbles over history such as Dutch Tulip Mania and the dot com bubble of the late 90s. Prices are purely speculation based, and when you look at Bitcoin's functionality as an actual currency it is almost embarrassing." For those who don't know, the dot com bubble was a period between 1997-2001 where many internet companies were founded and given outrageously optimistic valuations based purely on speculation that later plummeted 80-90% as the bubble began to collapse in the early 2000s. Some companies such as eBay and Amazon, recovered and now sit far above those valuations but for others it was the end of the line.

Bitcoin was originally created in order to take power away from our financial systems and put people in control of their own money, cutting out the middle man and enabling peer to peer transactions. However, it is now one of the slowest cryptocurrencies on the market, its transaction speed is four times slower than the fifth biggest cryptocurrency and its nearest competitor for payment solutions Litecoin. Untraceable privacy coin Monero makes transactions even quicker, boasting an average block time of just two minutes, a fifth of the time Bitcoin can do it in, and that's without anonymity. The world's second biggest cryptocurrency, Ethereum, already has a higher transaction volume than Bitcoin despite being valued at only $676 dollars per Ether compared to Bitcoin's $16,726 per Bitcoin. More here BTC to XMR

So why is Bitcoin's value so high? I asked Duke Randal the same question. "It all goes back to the same supply and demand economics, relatively there is not very much Bitcoin available and its recent surge in price has attracted a lot of media attention, this combined with the launch of Bitcoin futures which many see as the first sign Bitcoin is being accepted by the mass market, has resulted in a lot of people jumping on the bandwagon for financial gain. Like any asset, when there is a higher demand to buy than to sell, the price goes up. This is bad because these new investors are entering the market without understanding blockchain and the underlying principles of these currencies meaning they are likely to get burnt".

[nerfherderhan-moved]

.

[charlieswanwhore]

Nine Months (Ron Weasley x reader)

here is my second imagine! 

masterlist

TW: none :)

He had been gone for nine months, exactly nine months. It was hard to truly know if he was still alive. you stared at the ghoul, made to look like Ron Weasley, every day. You were eternally grateful that it was a ghoul rather than Ron actually seriously ill, but on the other hand, there was no way to tell that Ron wasn’t suffering. Every Weasley had their worries as well, but tried to help you have more hope, hope that he’d come back unscathed. You weren’t even exactly sure where he was, you just knew he was with Harry and Hermione, per usual. They were on a hunt, but you didn’t understand what they were hunting for on the level that the trio did, which scared you even more.

No one informed you that Ron would be going on such a journey, not even Ron himself. You weren’t sure it was intended but everything was so crazy up through the last time you saw Ron, that being at Bill and Fleur’s wedding. That day was one of the best you had ever experienced, that is until an attack began.

Waking up next to Ron Weasley was on the list of things you would never get over, even if it meant you had to sneak out of Ginny’s room to do so. It was warm, sunlight always peaking into the window and landing on the bed. You always woke up earlier than Ron, you were used to it since you used mornings before breakfast to study when you were at Hogwarts. You didn’t mind though. You liked to watch Ron sleep, even if he claims it’s creepy, because he does it too. You loved seeing his freckles become brighter against his pale skin and watching his skin glow. His hair would glow bright as well, it would glow next to your hands that were playing with his hair. Seeing him at peace was something that made you happy, the past few years at Hogwarts had been anything but easy for Ron, but he got his moments of peace being next to you.

A muffled yell to wake up echoed through the house. Molly Weasley, being the incredible alarm clock she is, woke Ron right up. It took Ron a small while to adjust to waking up before he noticed you staring at him and smiling. He returned a sleepy smile before pulling you close to kiss her forehead. “Morning, love,” his morning voice soothed your ears.

“Hi,” you said, even simple words like that made him blush. “We need to start getting ready for the wedding,” you began to push off of him, but he pulled you back down.

“What if we just ditched the wedding and spent all day in bed just staring at each other?” Ron let out a small laugh as he studied your face.

“As excellent and relaxing as that sounds, it’s your brothers wedding, we don’t want to miss it. Plus, you get to see me look all pretty today,” you finally got up and started to pull him up.

“But you’re always pretty, what’s the difference?” you blushed immediately, little compliments like that never failed to make your heart flutter.

“I’ll look even better. I’ll be in that dress that you helped pick out last week, my hair will be curled, and I’ll have some fun makeup on,” you kissed his cheek before going to rummage into your things to begin your day.

“That does sound promising. Will you wear that red lipstick I love so much?”

“You always say how much you hate it because it leaves stains on your skin,” you giggled without looking up, little did you know his eyes were following your every move.

“Maybe I do, maybe I don’t. But I do love everyone knowing you’re mine, so if some red stains on my cheeks is what it takes, I think I can make it work,” still watching you he waited for an answer while you went through his clothing. You grabbed his suit, handing it to him, “now get ready, darling. I’ll see you in a bit.”

“Alright love, will do.” He said watching you leave to go to Ginny’s room.

After spending a substantial amount of time doing each others hair and makeup, talking about boys, the newest Hogwarts drama, and blasting the newest Weird Sisters music, each of the girls began to head down to the main floor of the Burrow.

You took a moment to yourself to apply the red lipstick you promised to wear. After smiling to yourself in the mirror, you began to head down, nervous to see Ron. He had only seen her wear such fancy attire at the Yule Ball, but that was before they realized their feelings for each other. Looking around, you spotted Ginny, Harry, and George before your eyes finally set on Ron, he was looking out the window, looking deep in thought. After decided whether or not to interrupt what looked like a deep thought, you tip toed over to plant a kiss on Ron’s cheek. As he turned towards you, you could see that he began to blush almost as red as the light layer of lipstick that adorned his cheek.

“Bloody hell, Y/N. You look- you, you look…” he stuttered, looking flustered as ever to match.

“You don’t look so bad yourself, Ron,” the stripes and taupe vest complimented him so well. “Just missing your finishing touch,” you looked around before finding his suit jacket draped over a couch. You grab it before assisting him to put it on. “There, even more handsome, as if that was possible.”

He grinned like a man in love, which he was, but a burden weighed down his shoulders, this had been effecting him for quite a bit. Looking you up and down, his eyes became sad, he let out a sigh, sparking your worry.

“Anything wrong, love?” you put your hand on his cheek, attempting to make eye contact with him but he was trying to avoid your eyes.

“No, no, no. I- erm, well,” your confused eyes met his worried ones, “I just want you to know how much I love you. I want you to know I would do anything to protect you. I want you to be safe. I would do anything to ensure you are safe… because I love you so much.” He knew something you didn’t, but you didn’t quite pick up on it. Your mind was more focused on the fact that he said I love you. It had been the first time it was said between the two of you.

“I love you too, Ronald Weasley. You know I would do the same, to keep you safe. It’s a crazy world we live in, but I would do so much to ensure you were safe,” Ron felt guilt in him, but nonetheless appreciated what you were saying. “What’s got you so sappy? Is it the wedding? Love in the air? My dress too short?”

He let out a genuine laugh at your attempt to ease the mood. “You could say that, weddings make people realize a lot of things about love. I will tell you more later though, we have a night to enjoy. Plus even if your dress was too short, I totally wouldn’t mind,” you slap his shoulder lightly before taking his hand.

“Let’s go see if there’s anything else we can help with, alright?” you said leading him outside. He took one last long look at his beautiful, unaware girl, shook out the negative thoughts in his head. He wanted to enjoy tonight and the rest of the time he had with you, however long that was.

The last moment you had with Ron was dancing to one of your favorite songs, just before the attack had begun. When it did, he ushered you around the tent, his hand held yours tight. You stopped near Lupin before he grabbed your face, “I love you,” being the last words he said to you before he apparated with Harry and Hermione. Lupin had seen what had happened and pulled you away as you screamed. You had no idea where he went or what was going on. That was the last moment you had with Ron Weasley before he went on his nine month journey.

Everyday hurt. Not seeing him hurt, but not knowing if he was safe or even alive hurt even more. After months of being at Hogwarts, you were taken with Ginny to the Burrow at Easter, grateful to not be within the hell that Hogwarts was made into. You couldn’t decide if being at the Burrow made it worse or not. On one hand there was a group of people who knew what you were going through, they had the same worries, they supported you, on the other hand, the house and the family was a constant reminder of him, pictures of him scattered everywhere, little pieces of Ron scattered throughout his family members. Either way, it hurt like hell.

It took you quite a bit to settle into the Burrow, to feel comfortable. It didn’t matter if you did, because you and the Weasley’s eventually had to go into hiding. Hiding at their Aunt Muriel’s was definitely worse than being at the Burrow, you had more fear on your shoulders, now for yourself and the rest of the Weasley family. The only good thing to come out of it though was the fact that you knew he was alive. He had been discovered by Death Eaters, causing trouble for you and the family. Though it is not comforting to have Death Eaters after your boyfriend and his family, it was in a weird way comforting to know he was okay for the time being. It wasn’t long though until your overwhelming fear of him being dead creeped back into your head. The uncertainty killing you.

Waking up the morning of the first of May was another milestone. Nine months. Everyone in the house knew it too. There is so much that can be done in nine months, yet it felt like nothing had moved since the first of August.

Today was different, you were woken up by Ginny. She seemed in a rush, Fred and George standing in the doorway as well. “We need to get to Hogwarts, now.” Before you had time to ask, Ginny began getting things ready as you got dressed. You admittedly moved slower than you should’ve in a moment of rush, but the burden was a lot. It had been like this for months, it wasn’t going to stop until you knew Ron was safe and with you.

They attempted to explain what was happening as they we’re headed over but the rush of their voices and taking over each other, the only words that you could make out were “Hogsmeade”, “Snape”, and “Harry”. From the bottom of your heart, you hoped that the combination of Harry and Hogsmeade meant we were rushing to see Harry at the school. If that were the case, Harry was safe. What about Hermione? What about Ron?

Climbing slow through the hole behind Ginny, the twins, and Lee Jordan gave you time to over think. Why is only Harry being mentioned? Is he alone? As Ginny and the boys hopped onto the grounds of the Hogwarts, you hesitantly stepped out, uncomfortable at the sight of the Room of Requirement being draped with hammocks. There was a large crowd of what seemed to be the DA, not sure of what is going on, you tried to stay in the back and unseen, that was until you heard Ginny speak to Harry. You picked up your speed in order to see who is in the circle. First you saw Hermione, then Harry, then Ron.

Ron.

You froze, you did not know what to do. You weren’t even sure if he was real. Maybe this was yet another dream. You blinked after staring at him for what felt like hours, he was still there when you opened your eyes.

“Y/N” is all he said.

“Ron” is all you said.

He stood in his place just as shocked but you ran straight to the red headed boy. You leaped into his arms with a small whimper turned to a sob. He held you tighter than he ever had. He was cold and dirty, smelled of it too, but that was beyond past what you could care about. All you cared about was that your boyfriend was holding you after nine long months.

He let you down but continued to hug you, you both looking at each other with loving eyes. “I missed you so much, you have no idea Y/N,” he said before pulling you tighter than before.

“Believe me, I know. Never do that again, please. I did not know if you were safe or alive, especially after Death Eaters found yo-“ at this point you were so overwhelmed by emotions that you were stuttering and could not finish your sentence before you crashed back into his chest, letting out sobs. He pet your hair and let out light shushes to calm you down as the DA continued speaking.

You wished you could be alone with him right now, this not being possible with all that is going on with the pending battle. You would take this over nothing though. Crying in each other’s arms in front of the entire DA, though not the most ideal, was something that was needed.

The entirety of the rest of the conversation of the DA, you and Ron half listened, still shaking and crying in each other’s arms. You and Ron began to sway and take deep breaths to calm down and listen. It was so hard to not give every piece of attention to the beautiful boy before you, but your world was under attack, you couldn’t turn a blind eye.

The DA broke off after what seemed like hours. Though Ron and you had separate duties, you knew you needed to split momentarily.

Pulling your head back to look at him, you see his beautiful eyes once again, red from the tears. You both studied each other’s faces quickly, taking everything in. You noticed his small wounds, dirty hair, facial hair, and sweat bound face as he noticed the bags under your eyes. Your heart hurt for each other.

“When this whole thing is over, I am never going to stop looking at your face, ever. I missed it too much,” you said, making him laugh, bringing you to his lips.

“We will get out of this. We will. We can spend all the time in the world together, we can travel, we can get married, we can-“ he rambled but you interrupted.

“We will. Every single one of those things and more,” he blushed, especially considering one of the things he mentioned was marriage.

“Bloody hell, Y/N. You are making this so hard. I have some things to take care of, but please, please, please promise me you will do your best to stay safe, I need you. I will do the same. I love you, I love you, I love you,” it felt great for him to say those three words again, he had imagined himself telling it to you when you reunited every night he was hunting for the horcruxes.

“I love you, Ronald Weasley, so much. Stay safe, I am going to need you when this is all done,” you joked. “I mean it, be careful,” you kissed his lips in a kiss that you made as special as you could without putting the thought too deep into your head that it could be the last. You broke away soon after, both heading in new directions as the world around you kept moving forward. You watched him and Hermione run off to help save the world. Your boy, the hero.

Though that last moment was far from the last you spend with Ron Weasley, you cherished it just the same.

[cancerbiophd]

Hey, I am rotating in a cancer bio lab, this will be my third one. The first two worked around my class schedule very well, but for the first semester, these classes are everything. In my third rotation, my PI expects a lot of me in the short time I'm there, and I am working 6-10 hours there every day. This leaves me almost no time to study or do classwork. She knows how much work these classes are, because she used to teach it. Any advice to help me have less stress?

Hello Anon! Ahh I totally understand your frustration. I remember how demanding and absolutely time-consuming (and very important, as you mentioned!) those grad school classes were, and how stressful it was to balance all that and lab work. 

It took me a while to answer this because it really is a difficult problem to tackle. A PI demanding a lot from the rotating student at the expense of the students’ grades in class should not be the norm. Most PIs understand that a rotating student isn’t there primarily to generate mountains of usable data; their priority is to get a feel for how they fit with the lab, and vice versa. So I guess what I’m trying to say: you’re doing amazing, and your PI shouldn’t be treating you this way. 

But I think I’ve thought of a few things you could try (which does not encompass every route you could take), and you can see which one you’re most comfortable doing, or if they give you any other ideas to try. 

The first question you’ll need to ask yourself is whether there’s a chance you’ll want to select this lab as your dissertation lab. I think this is a very important decision, because if you do want to stay, you’ll have to consider options that are more long-term. In other words, staying in this lab may require more energy on your part in finding a schedule that works for both your grades, your research, and your life outside of the lab if your PI appears to have less emphasis on work-class-life-balance. 

If you know you won’t be continuing on in this lab after your rotation is done, you only have to work with a short-term solution. By no means do I mean slack off or not do your research or make a bad impression, of course--but it’ll be more like a sprint than a marathon. 

Once you’ve decided that, here are some options to consider:

Work with your PI to set goals together. Sometimes PIs are super far-removed from classes (even if they teach them) because time makes us all forget the finer details, like how much work it actually takes to study for an exam! And some may just not understand that just because they have photographic memory and never needed to study, doesn’t mean everyone else is like them. Therefore it’s important to communicate with your PI about your limitations and boundaries. If your PI tells you do X, Y, and Z by Friday, counter back with: “Due to my course-load, I may not be able to complete all those tasks by the deadline. If that’s the case, which of those 3 should I prioritize my time on?” and/or “I can get X and Y done by Friday, but I will need until next Wednesday to finish Z.” I think these are very professional ways to reach a compromise. 

Ask for more help from other lab members. Seeing how we can’t freeze time or clone ourselves, sometimes the only way to get more done in a limited amount of time is to get more bodies on the task. When I’m new to a group, I will ask the PI/my boss “If I need help with these tasks, who should I go to?” A lab is a team with a common goal, so I hope yours will see that to help one person is to help everyone. Going off of the first example, you can respond, “Sure, I can get X, Y, and Z done by Friday, but I will need help. Is there anyone in the lab who can help me with ____?” (And if the answer is “no”, that’s something to consider when deciding which lab to ultimately join.)

Say no to any new tasks until you’ve finished your current ones. In lab you can say something like, “I would like to first finish these experiments before moving on. Can we table this until next week?” or “Ok I’ll put this on my to-do list, but I don’t have time for it this week.” or simply a “I don’t have the time to do this.” This also applies to stuff outside of lab as well, like any extra-curriculars or social events. I also think this is a good skill/habit to have throughout one’s life too, but especially in grad school where PIs are just constantly sprouting out new project ideas without any consideration as to how to pause time so we can do it all.

Ask for extensions for lab tasks when you need it. It’s ok to ask for a few more days. Time in academic research can work differently--milestones tend to move a lot slower, and a difference of a few days hardly makes a huge impact down the line. So unless it’s a hard deadline (like data for a grant submission), it’s ok to let your PI know “Hey, I’m working as hard as I can on this, but I did not anticipate some of the set-backs so I’ll need until ____ to get the data to you.” 

Multitask (but smartly). Do you have small but recurring “downtime” during your experiments that you can use for studying? When I ran Western blots, I would have five 5-min washes throughout the day, and that was 25 min of time I sometimes spent reading for class, or even doing small tasks like catching up on emails. Definitely use those natural “breaks” in lab to your advantage if you’re able. 

Block off more time before and after classes to spend away from the lab. Since you have to leave for class anyway, you can try to squeeze more out of it. Maybe like, leave lab 30 min earlier for class, then come back to the lab 30 min later--that’s 1 full hour! If people in lab (ie. your PI) pry, just tell them you like to give yourself the opportunity to meet with the professors before/after class if necessary (not a lie, because it could be true!). Or you can set up a legit mini-study-session with classmates during those times to review materials before/after class. If 30 min is too long, even 15 min before and after is a good chunk of time. 

Ask for advice from someone who’s had experience with situations like these. This includes other grad students (the ones already in this current lab would be a good place to start, as they’ve surely been-there-done-that) and your program advisor/coordinator who’s had years of experience mediating these conflicts. It may not stop your PI from being demanding, but they could give you pointers on how best to handle it. 

And with the time you do have to study, be sure to be as efficient as possible. I know you’re already doing the best you can, but if there are any aspects of your study routine you think could be improved upon, now’s a good time to implement those changes. There are many ways to do this, including study groups, seeking additional resources like educational videos and help from professors/TAs, etc. Work smart, not hard, right?

My last bit of advice is: Make your grades in those classes your priority over the lab rotation. Some, if not all, programs have very strict rules on grades lower than B’s, and it could jeopardize your chances of remaining in the program. Here’s another way to look at it: you can choose to not stay in your current rotational lab, and perhaps even have minimal contact with that PI for the rest of your grad school career; but you can not choose to not have a grade affect your academic records and/or place in the program. 

Good luck anon. I hope this helped a bit and it all goes well for you!

If anyone else has ever experienced something similar in grad school and have any additional advice, please feel free to help reply to/reblog this post! Thanks!

[rigelmejo]

the word brain - summary and notes

the word brain: http://www.amedeo.net/wb/TheWordBrain2015.pdf

It’s a book about how to learn a language. I like the straightforward estimates of time lengths in it. What I’m about to write is gonna have a lot of notes to myself (as usual lol). 

anyway, below is the word brain summary. and my ideas on how to maybe add its ideas to my study plan.

Notes:

Increasing Vocab:

I tend to not do the explicit vocab study the book starts with for very long. I did it for french for around 1000 words (which was apparently enough base), and 2000 words using memrise for chinese. Now for japanese I use memrise to do this step. 

What I learned from this step, is there may still be use in dedicating some time per day to reading my hanzi books and common-word dictionaries - and reading sections over a few times in spaced repetition (like day 1,3,7,13, 30) could work similarly like memrise/anki. So I could still have use for them.

This book mentioned word lookup in novels counts, if you do it often, and so I can see how I usually quickly abandon “this writer’s way” of increasing vocab, and move onto relying nearly entirely on reading and word lookups to learn as soon as I feel reading is doable. So again... I could speed up word acquisition with either: more memrise/anki, or more glancing at my reference texts every so often. Not that much time is needed either - 5 minutes to learn a word (so studied in like 30 sec - 1 minute intervals over multiple sessions). My usual strategy of reading to acquire words definitely works - but I could probably speed it up a bit by a bit more purposeful reviewing. And I could still have a use for my reference books if I use them for hanzi/word learning.

Also - aiming for 5000 words in related languages, 15,000 in very unrelated languages, is usually enough for overall comprehension.

-

Listening skills:

Need generally 1,500-2,000 listening hours to parse speech in a language. This time can mostly be done surrounded by language audio. So basically: yes playing your target language in the background does help. And will help for up to about 2,000 hours, at which point it should’ve benefited your ability to parse speech. If you have difficulty parsing speech, listen more.

You can also do shows/audio you intensively listen to/focus on purposefully (like Listening Reading Method, shows, documentaries). The takeaway point is just - there’s actually merit to the suggestion to “listen to target language as often as you can.” (Which I did not know there was any real benefit). And that even if you’re not trying to comprehend it’s content, simply practicing parsing the sounds by listening is beneficial. So I’m gonna start playing more audio in the background more often. 

-

Reading:

I basically do the advice. What this book recommends: using audio at first whenever you read, to create the correct ‘inner voice.’ I didn’t do it, do it now sometimes, it is what it is. But probably good advice for new learners to USE their textbook audios, course audios, and graded reader audios when they have them available - since they’ll help. (The sure would’ve helped me in french ToT).

-

*Grammar: 

Like my plan to read a grammar guide, this is kind of similar. But this book recommends learning the most common grammar structures just like words - “nailing” them in your memory by reviewing them (in spaced repetition). I think this is probably something I could add to my studies - picking up my grammar books, and reading and re-reading parts of them to help remember them better. So studying them much like words. Or watching grammar videos and rewatching/reviewing in that same kind of sequence to help remember.

I could possibly do a few review grammar guide fast-overviews - where I just reread old grammar guides I read now and then, to reinforce the memory (like spaced repetition). This is something the book recommends.

I don’t think the book mentioned it, but this could be a good place I could add 50-100 hours of producing/practicing grammar structure - at least the main ones.

Basically though - I could do a little grammar-focused study.

-

Speaking:

Grammar overview/learning words. Listen, read, first. Then shadow. 

---

Summary: could use my reference books by studying similar to how anki/memrise work and just reading/re-reading in spaced review sessions (If I want to increase how fast I learn vocab), reading and looking up words repeatedly to acquire vocab does work though. Listen to more audio in background in general. I could probably use 50 hours of some review of the grammar more (review same as words), and some particular practice on main grammar. I should shadow more.

---

Looking at their table, chinese is probably going to take 3-5 years, and if I eventually slow down my study then up to 6 years.

I also think if this book’s definition of fluency is higher than mine like ‘C1′ competency, then I might get away with accomplishing my goals 1-2 years faster than this book’s timeline - since B1-2 is usually enough for me to be happy with what I’m able to do (I would imagine B2 is definitely enough to read/listen for enjoyment and talk to people about general topics with some fumbles?). Anyway... based on their table I would guess it will take me 1-2 more years to do what I want comfortably? At least, if I can keep my reading progress improving at the current rate or throw in some extra hours this year, I think within another year I might get to a point where I can read/listen for enjoyment mainly. At which point, slowing down my progress by studying less wouldn’t bother me as much - then if it took another 1-3 years for improved fluency because I’m studying slower, I wouldn’t mind as much. If this book’s fluency aim is around B2, then I’m probably looking at at least 2 more years. Still not bad ToT I have a bit of a warped perspective, I expected like A2-B1 level reading skill to take 4 years, whereas its taken me more like 2 years, so I’m already way ahead of schedule in how much time I thought chinese improvements would take.

I can at worst *painfully* read most modern things I try to now - so weibo, random literary stories/novels, gu long, webnovels, shows, tests, news. Sometimes I can read much easier than that, but in the worst cases I can take a while and grasp the main ideas and some details (did that with some random novels/news). Which is where my french was at about 1 years in. Chinese, having less cognates, means I’m not going to learn the unknown words fast enough to ease the ‘pain’ unless I keep studying to speed up word-learning. So that’s what I’m doing, still studying much more than I did for french at this level. But as far as milestones, I’m around what I consider A2 pushing into B1 (starting to not find modern material completely impossible) - in chinese I’m even a little better, I can start pretty much whatever new show I want and follow the main story and some details at minimum. I was never able to do that in french. Also I can follow some audiobooks/audiodramas if I have prior context - I have never tried that in french.

My personal “milestones” I go by:

a. can recognize enough common words to start trying to read comics/books with a dictionary (could be very painful lol) - this is when immersion becomes feasible.

b. know enough basic words to start trying to basically express self imperfectly (ideally eventually basically in many ideas) - this is when language exchange becomes realistic/journaling.

c. can recognize enough words and grammar in reading that main idea is generally understood without an aid (main idea understanding without aid might be painful but its possible) - this is when immersion in french I could stop using a dictionary, and in graded reading material i want at least this level of comprehension to start using it, this is when immersion can become pleasant with a dictionary, when info can start being learned from context somewhat more regularly.

d. can start to recognize main idea without aid without it feeling draining, and some amount of detail without aids - immersion now pleasant without a dictionary/aids, can learn more from context alone without feeling drained, with aids i can now pick up new words quicker but without it being draining, comprehension is now enough that depending on material i don’t feel any need/desire for an aid to grasp the missed details.

e. can recognize main idea and nearly all details, the rest mostly clear from context, nothing feels draining (mainly i only have this in graded reading materials - but in chinese daily life manhua i often feel like this now, with french website navigation or informational texts since i use them a lot, etc).

a+b is usually my goal within 5 months to a year - french took me 3-5 months, chinese took me 5-8 months. japanese took me 1.5 years lol. c is my absolute minimum goal - its enough to at least consume media with a dictionary. the beginning of the c stage can still feel ‘painful’ since all reading is ‘painful reading’ or ‘intensive reading.’ But it is comprehensible with a dictionary, so I can start learning that way. d is when I start feeling happier lol, and different areas of comprehension reach d at different points. e is my usual goal but i’ve only really hit it in certain ‘genres’ of content. All these milestones i can also ‘partially hit’ - for example in japanese years ago i hit ‘basic main idea’ milestone c for manga, but not for any other content type. For japanese... it took 2 - 2.5 years to hit c stage, which is where I’m picking back up (I can understand basic main idea with intense draining feeling, but with a dictionary i can follow most things). Now that I’m picking it up, I seem to be c in a few more ‘genres’ - video games I can also follow main idea better, and now novels are more doable with a dictionary (though i would NOT say i could follow even the main idea of a novel chapter without a dictionary). My chinese is sitting at d mostly for reading, at the earlier side of ‘usually I decide to look things up’ for missing details because i don’t want to always rely on context alone (unless its a show or manhua or extensive reading practice).

[dansnaturepictures]

My 10 wildlife and photography highlights of 2020 blogs: Blog 4-My year of butterflies (with mentions of other insects and flowers) Part 1

Complete housekeeping from the offset in that I began this year in these blogs as any other with one post for the highlights of my butterfly year with mentions of dragonflies, damselflies, moths and this year beetles and flowers I’d seen in places too this year more than ever for the latter. It became so long and like a dairy format charting days of lockdown and working from home, which was important in examining my year. So I let this blog run until my week off work in late June, then with the pandemic creating some spare slots this year in the thread my sixth of these highlights posts on Wednesday is a continuation mentioning butterflies and the above add-ons if you like notable experiences after that point. This post in the paragraphs below has the general sum up of my butterfly year and the next one is just pure diary of notable experiences from the summer onwards and the usual season winding down type things.

I am going to be quite honest with you and say I wrote this bit of the blog in March during the lockdown because of coronavirus, I have used time as I often do at this time of year so early on to start writing bits of these blogs and getting structures together for them to chart how the rest of the year unfolds. I had had some butterfly action to write about already. Unlike the bird highlights post I started writing the day before when no matter what happened with the virus I’d already had a pretty brilliant three months of birding to tide me over for the whole year, I currently have no idea what kind of butterfly year I’ll have due to Covid – 19 enforced restrictions. But what I can hand on heart say right now which will ring true in December, is this was definitely a memorable and different year of butterflies for me! Sticking to the figures though, I saw 43 species of butterfly in 2020 my second highest ever amount in a year after last year and just ahead of 2018 so actually in the end I did pretty well! I did manage to still luckily see quite a few butterflies during lockdown in great bits of weather, continuing when lockdown eased bit by bit when we could go to see species at further afield locations and it helped me a lot as I express below and a lot in my second butterflies.

Perhaps this year especially in the first lockdown due to seeing them outside the New Forest where I usually would I ended up mentioning seeing other insects quite a few times in this post, but talking about moths, dragon/damselflies etc. sort of relates still so it’s a bit longer than usual I’m afraid but does have butterflies as its main focus. This was an important year for these insects for me as 10 years since I saw and photographed a Silver-washed Fritillary at Bolderwood in the New Forest and said I’d like to know what species it is which sparked my whole interest and passion for butterflies. The trusty butterfly ID book I got that year to learn them from included moths which I dipped into then as I have since and it paved the way for me to take notice of the different dragon and damselflies too so it was a nice milestone a decade.

My butterfly year started in a similar manner to 2018 (the famous – for me – butterfly year where I saw one in the winter before bad weather came and I had a slower start but my season boomed over a hot summer) in that I saw an overwintering species on a sunny day just before storms Ciara and Dennis and that really bad patch of weather hit when I saw a Peacock butterfly dart past me on a sunny day at Toyd Down when that day we went to nearby butterfly haven for us Martin Down too in early February one of my most memorable days this year as I talked about in bird edition of these highlight posts. Date wise it was my second earliest ever first butterfly sighting in a year a theme that would trickle throughout my butterfly and insect year. Everyone noticed this really with a hot spring meaning every butterfly species emerged so early, the summer ones in particular came out around a month earlier which I noticed a lot, and the whole season seemed to be a month ahead which was both fascinating and concerning of the impacts of climate change.

After that the lull came and it wasn’t until the penultimate weekend of March I saw a butterfly again a Brimstone on a verge on the M27 on the way to Fort Cumberland my last regular weekend trip out before the Prime Minister announced the first lockdown. The week that followed was that butterfly awakening moment I always have in the early spring as we had a long patch of really sunny and quite warm in places weather and they came out on mass. Butterflies dominated my once daily allowed walk out to exercise over Lakeside and nearby areas with so many seen of four species. I saw my more Brimstones, my first Small Tortoiseshell and Small White of the year and more Peacocks. I took the first picture in this photoset of a Small Tortoiseshell near Lakeside and second of a Peacock in Lakeside that week. The Small Tortoiseshell made personal history for me as after months of practicing on flowers and plants etc. with my new macro lens my birthday present my main macro subject is butterflies I longed to use it on a butterfly and this was my first butterfly picture produced with my new macro lens as I felt the thrill of the chase of trying to photograph butterflies again to herald a new era for me which excited me very much and I very happy with how good this macro lens is. It gives me detail I have found astonishing when taking the pictures. Seeing the butterflies on these walks and just the walks in general really kept me going during the early parts of the lockdown and my spirits up. As did taking flower and blossom pictures in what was I thought a strong year for me for taking pictures of sights and signs of spring subjects in sunny and cloudy conditions from February onwards with probably my best ever set of blossom pictures and biggest variety of flower pictures in a year taken this year with my new macro lens very useful for flower pictures firstly I practiced it on them ready for butterflies but then was interested enough to photograph them alongside butterflies a lot which felt pivotal in my macro photography part of my hobby and as I chart in these two butterfly highlights posts especially this paved the way for me to learn flowers lots this year. It was a nice opportunity just to observe what was around me on the walks and in the gardens seeing birds, butterflies, bees (which I also saw well throughout the year) and many great flowers and local views. I gained to some extent a greater sense of appreciation for the little and simple things in nature all around me during the lockdown. I got so used to and thoroughly enjoyed Lakeside lunch time and when restrictions eased a bit evenings too sometimes walks I missed them or certain parts of them when rain or something hindered me doing them on a day. It’s amazing how many of the butterflies I saw for the first time in 2020 over my local country park Lakeside some I wouldn’t normally see here too so like with bird year ticks I got there it made me appreciate just how much is about on my local site being there daily. In 2018 this highlights blog in that year’s thread about butterflies reflected the stark weather extremes and how it impacted my year a key theme of my 2018 more than most of the blogs and this year it does the same for the coronavirus and this period of time where I worked from home early on and we were in lockdown is a definitive stretch of my 2020 so impacted my hobby massively.

The weekend after that week on a sunny and very warm daily exercise walk by the river Itchen I was delighted to see more Peacocks, Brimstones, Small Whites and my first Comma and female Orange Tips of the year. These were key first sightings of 2020 in a classic spring walk for me where I saw so many birds and butterflies and my first Swallow of the year too really lifting my spirts over that time. The next day I saw my first Speckled Wood of the year and many other butterflies mostly Small Tortoiseshell at Lakeside. During the following week I saw my first Large White of the year over Lakeside during daily exercise putting me on a pretty healthy 8 butterflies for the year at that stage given it was nearly three weeks into the lockdown so the butterflies began really emerging from the lockdown onwards but as I said at the time it came at the right time in a way as the ones emerging obviously were the early/all season butterflies which are the common ones and ones I did not have to travel to see. On Good Friday that week on a hot and sunny daily exercise walk at local Stoke Park Wood I saw six butterfly species, my first Holly Blue of the year and first male Orange Tip of 2020 both seen for an extended period the highlights as the butterfly season continued to blossom at that stage. On Easter Saturday a very hot walk at Hut Wood contained many more Peacocks seen and other butterflies most notably a male Orange Tip we saw fly by. Hut Wood was somewhere I’d never been before that day but during the lockdown 1.0 we relied on this beautiful and precious patch, hidden away in an urban area really, a lot for daily exercise walks and saw brilliant wildlife and views all round along the way on various walks a very key place for us to still get out as we safely could in that period. On Easter Sunday I saw some more butterflies beside the River Itchen with male and female Orange Tip the stars as well as Small White and Small Tortoiseshell. Even with the sun in and out somewhat and temperatures lower it seemed on Easter Monday where we went to Lakeside for daily exercise I saw a nice Speckled Wood flying. A key event in my Easter weekend too was seeing the tree visible from my room out the back in a neighbouring garden blossom really rapidly in hot weather. There was literally more blossom on it and in greater blossom every time I looked even within one day I noticed the difference on the Good Friday. This set the tone for me to enjoy this tree and notice it in glorious green all summer and into the autumn after the blossom was gone. Nice for a tree I first ever noticed in its red autumnal colour. I took the third picture in this photoset of another Speckled Wood at Lakeside the next day which was also very sunny during daily exercise. The day after that I got more great butterfly views at Lakeside of a few species especially of Holly Blue and nice bright views of male Orange Tips flying some of my best views of them this year in another strong spring for me for them and I also saw my first Large Red Damselfly of the year on that walk my first dragonfly or damselfly seen this year and my earliest ever sighting of the species in a year.

In mid-April on a Sunday daily exercise walk at a hot, sunny and yellow cowslip covered Magdalen Hill I had a wonderful and standout day of watching and photographing butterflies with me hitting some butterfly form with my new macro lens as such. We saw seven species of butterfly that day a high at that stage in the year, including my first Red Admirals and Green Hairstreak this year the former a relief I waited a little longer to see my first Red Admiral this year again and the latter quite the surprise as my earliest ever sighting of one in a year my first ever April sighting of one a special species I thought I may miss due to the virus. We got cracking views of it, the Red Admirals which I took the fourth picture in this photoset of one that day and the other species on that walk; many male Orange Tips, Holly Blue, Peacock, Comma and Brimstone including three flying together in the air which stood out as a memorable image in my head from the walk. The Green Hairstreak sighting was one of my moments of the year and I took one of my favourite photos this year and ever of it, an early strong one with my new macro lens and all the detail it brings of a butterfly what I mostly have a macro for so it was quite magical. Back on a weekday Lakeside daily exercise lunch time walk that following week I saw my next butterfly species this year when I stumbled across a beautiful Small Copper in a grassland area and watched it for a bit. Whilst I had seen them here before this was another surprise sighting for me really and another that was my earliest ever of the species. I was relieved also to see it as it was one I often see at locations we couldn’t go during the lockdown. Just like my first Common Tern of the year that I saw on the same walk that day it was a species that is common but that I don’t often see so locally that it showed me this day it is here locally and during the lockdown when I could look really close at what is immediately around me I saw what remarkable species are there and its one positive I took out of this difficult time for us all. That Friday that followed I finally saw a more common species that I’d been hoping to see all that week on exercise walks when I saw my first Green-veined White of the spring in another Lakeside daily exercise walk as well as some more Orange Tips very well. That was the last early common one I needed to see so brought a great sense of satisfaction. On that day it made my butterfly year list my joint second highest ever on that date compared to previous lists of mine on that date only one behind last year which was my highest ever butterfly year list total so it showed how the immense sunny and quite hot weather that we had during the lockdown helped me make a solid start to my butterfly year list during exercise walks.

The count of butterfly species in a day was higher still during a daily exercise walk the following Sunday the last of April on a very hot, sunny and memorable afternoon at Farley Mount. I saw my first Grizzled Skipper, Small Heath and Dingy Skippers of 2020 which was great the first two my earliest ever sightings of them in a year and also first I’d ever seen in April. It took my year list to 16 my highest ever amount on that date in a year. Other notable butterflies seen that walk included another Green Hairstreak just hanging on a tree something I really miss days I could see that now and for me that is spring and Red Admiral and more Orange Tips. The following Friday I finally got my first Orange Tip picture for just under five years the fifth of my pictures in this photoset when I saw a couple, and a Green-veined White very closely and so much more wildlife on a particularly memorable day where I took many photos too as I did a daily exercise walk over Lakeside. I had really been hoping for and trying to capture a rarely landing Orange Tip with the camera after a brilliant spring for them this year just like last year with how many I saw. I was glad I could achieve this. This year was the year to do it. I also reflected this day how I hadn’t ever seen one at the local for me Lakeside before this year and I didn’t really think Orange Tips one of my favourite butterflies would be about here but I frequently saw them along this path on the north of the site this year with great bits of vegetation for them. So it was one positive thing to come from the lockdown that I now know I have these species very close to me in the appropriate season and I had a feeling about that across the board that lockdown taught me just what amazing wildlife is on my doorstep so was a positive to take from this defining and difficult period of 2020. And it may change how and where I do and see things in years to come now.

On a visit to Bentley Wood in early May I was delighted to see my first Pearl-bordered Fritillaries of the year flitting around at various parts of the area we walked in decent numbers. My earliest ever sighting in a year of this one of our most precious and delicate butterfly species and one I always look forward to looking for in May. That day I also saw my first dragonflies of the year in the form of Broad-bodied Chasers both male and some females which was lovely on a sunny day, this also my earliest ever sighting of the species in a year. The following Wednesday I was delighted to see Orange Tip and see and photograph Small Copper flying past the house and on the grassy area outside the house respectively, the closest I’d ever seen both these brilliant species to home. At Lakeside on that walk it was also very nice to see a beautiful and so well coloured Swollen-thighed Beetle on an oxeye daisy and photograph it on the flower. One of the key species I learned in terms of beetles in my best ever year for them. The next day I saw a Small Heath at Lakeside not one I often see there but did loads this year, I photographed one here the following Tuesday the seventh picture in this photoset I had a good year for these I thought. The day after that the VE Day bank holiday Friday I saw Small Heaths in great numbers at Magdalen Hill during a daily exercise walk nice to see so many flitting around the grasses as well as yet more Green Hairstreaks in my best ever spring for them probably. Brimstone, Green-veined White, Small Tortoiseshell and views of Whitethroat bird wise also stood out on that very hot for May and sunny walk that day. On another very hot and sunny day at Hut Wood the following day I was pleased to see Brimstones with three males chasing a female all flying together in a long line which looked great and more of them, Peacock, Holly Blues and my first Beautiful Demoiselles of the year my second earliest ever sighting of one in a year. The day further became about different things for us to see and the little things of nature as we enjoyed views of lots of lovely Green Tiger Beetles flying and moving around, nice to see them again after a Studland in Dorset sighting of them in 2013 I have always liked them since and it came at a great time as I showed great interest in beetles those few days after the Swollen-thighed and I’d put together a list of all the identified ones I’d ever seen. I took the sixth picture in this photoset of one of the Green Tiger beetles that day. My first Foxgloves of the year and a slow worm on the path seen also stood out that day. That night a pretty Small dusty wave moth flew into our house which I photographed. The next day a grey one at Stockbridge Down the walk was rather lit up by a Common Blue flying by and landing, yet another butterfly year tick that was my earliest ever sighting of one in a year, a nice milestone butterfly that puts you into the mind that summer is near. On some cloudy days or cloudy parts of days around that time I still saw butterflies happily quite active so it showed the real peak of the season was around the corner where butterflies would be active not just on the sunny days.

On a sunny and cloudy in places Friday 15th May I had a brilliant lunch time Lakeside walk when I finally, for a third year running still quite notable at this very local site for me, saw the Brown Argus my first this year I had been looking for on exercise walks there all week. I spent a treasured few moments with this stunning species which I personally have a lot of admiration for in the “Marbled White meadow” area a bit of rich butterfly, flower and insect generally grassland I nickname in the park. Green-veined White, Small Heath and Speckled Wood were also about that day. On the walk to Lakeside I did spot my first Common Blue Damselfly of the year too that day, my earliest ever sighting of one in a year the Brown Argus was my second earliest sighting of one in a year after last year. I saw the Brown Argus again the following Wednesday and following an evening and morning watching four of them in this field area in early March I got a magical natural moment that hot and sunny day seeing a Roe Deer’s face right beside me peering out of lush and dense vegetation. The day after Friday 15th after the lockdown restrictions had their first easing in May we managed to do our under threat yearly pilgrimage to Noar Hill in the South Downs. Here we were very fortunate to get to see about 5-6 of its main star the Duke of Burgundy. This made me extremely happy and it was a true honour to once again get to see one of our rarest and absolutely most beautiful butterflies and enjoy such special moments with them. One of my butterfly moments of the year as always. I also saw my first Small Blue of the year that day and Dingy Skipper, Orange Tip, many Small Heaths, my first Five-spot burnet moth of the year and a Swollen-thighed Beetle again on a buttercup a very successful and memorable walk. The next day I saw two equally as breathtaking species for the first time in 2020, Adonis Blue and Marsh Fritillary on a walk at Martin Down. These two were massive standout butterflies of my year I was so pleased to get to see this year on a standout day which included top bird sightings too. I was so fortunate as I mention in other highlights posts this year too to get to enjoy Martin Down on the edge of the county so much this year through the spring and summer and even slightly into autumn. I also saw so many other butterfly species that day including Small Copper, Green Hairstreak, Orange Tip, Small and Common Blues, Grizzled and Dingy Skippers as well as my first Cinnabar moth of the year.

At Lakeside on a scorching and sunny 21st May walk I found a lovely little watery, reedbed and boggy spot where I enjoyed views of Broad-bodied Chaser, Common Blue Damselfly, Large Red Damselfly and as I was transfixed on watching these a Blue-tailed Damselfly appeared my first of the year the second earliest first sighting in a year I’d ever had of one of them. The next day I was lucky enough to see Common Blue damselflies mating I really got close and fascinating views of that and all the little movements which was a special spring moment I took a macro picture, and see and photograph another Large Red Damselfly along the path I saw the one in April in more habitat teeming with damselflies. I got a second Marsh Fritillary fix at Bentley Wood on second May bank holiday Monday when we saw a good few there in a field and very closely too. I had never seen any here before so it was the first time I’d seen any outside of Martin Down whilst I always love seeing them and everything there which was great I loved seeing them again. That day at Bentley Wood I also saw more Pearl-bordered Fritillary and sightings of more Five-spot Burnet, Broad-bodied Chaser, the damselflies and Southern Hawker and Keeled Skimmer which I’d seen for the first time in 2020 in the New Forest the day before stood out. Also nice to see; our first ever Mother Shipton moth briefly which was nice, tadpoles in the pond and bees in and around a nest that day. A key spring day. That day before we went out I witnessed some raw wildlife action in my bedroom en suite when I saw a very large spider and photographed it there and noticed it had consumed a smaller spider which I had seen and photographed before. This and the few weeks where I saw lots of spiders headlined an amazing year I had of seeing insects and lots of spiders in the house and taking pictures of them with my new macro lens so good for detail within the light environment of inside and not what I’d experienced before perhaps animals I wouldn’t have noticed before which was great. Back to Lakeside on a very sunny and hot lunch time walk on 27th May I was delighted to see my first Meadow Browns of 2020 a couple in the long grass there. Easily my earliest ever sighting of them in a year as my first ever May sighting of one, showing again how seeing butterflies on local walks this year my butterfly season was a bit ahead in terms of its timeline than my other years. This was such an important one too as the first I saw this year that I see as a summer species always a magical moment to look forward to what’s to come. That day it was nice to see the fairly similar Small Heath butterfly around for comparisons as well as Whitethroat and Roe Deer other wildlife wise. I photographed the first Meadow Brown that day on one of the big oxeye daisies fittingly as on that day with two photographs also taken of landscapes dominated by them and a few weeks proceeding it the meadows of Lakeside and surrounding areas including our garden a little were teeming with them. I had a great year for regular daisies too. I always love seeing these flowers but noticed and appreciated it in particular this spring especially the sheer amount of them. That Friday I got even closer to a Meadow Brown at Lakeside, whilst also seeing Small Heath, Brown Argus and Common Blue on another gorgeous weather day. That walk I also had one of my flower moments of the year seeing a Bee Orchid for the first time in the flesh an iconic, distinctive and truly beautiful wildflower so I was very happy. I took the eighth picture in this photoset of it. I saw them again a few weeks later here too. Alongside the Snake’s head fritillaries I got to love and was delighted to see and photograph at Lakeside earlier in the spring and a few more I’ve seen what a glorious urban site for special wild flowers Lakeside is this year. The Bee orchids really defined the lockdown or part-lockdown spring for me. That evening I did one in a series of more relaxed and reflective Friday evening walks as I finish half an hour early that day from work and the restrictions lessening allowed more than one walk in a day. I saw a Common Blue damselfly by some nice flowers I admired down the road in bright sun, a Blue-tailed Damselfly by Lakeside on the walk and following the Small Copper and Orange Tip nicely in a lot of butterflies seen here this year another Meadow Brown over the green at the front of the house.

We returned to Bentley Wood the following Saturday in one of my best general wildlife days this year. This included great views of my first Small Pearl-bordered Fritillaries and Large Skippers of the year. Another summer butterfly with Large Skipper my second earliest ever sighting of one in a year. Two of my standout butterflies of 2020 so enchanting to see them, to make it the highest a butterfly year list of mine had ever ended May on at 26 two ahead of my tremendous year of butterflies last year at that stage. It was a very memorable day for flowers and dragonflies too with my first Four-spotted Chaser and Emperor dragonfly seen this year by the pond some awesome spawning behaviour witnessed by the Emperor especially too which was a top wild memory on a hot and sunny day. I took the ninth picture in this photoset of the Emperor dragonfly. It was my second earliest first Emperor sighting of the year too and also meant I’d seen more dragonflies or damselflies than I ever had to end May this year on that day I’d seen treble the amount I’d seen at that stage last year my highest ever dragonfly and damselfly year list. Meadow Brown, Large Red Damselfly and Broad-bodied Chaser completed the highlights that day. We closed a marvellous May especially for butterflies at Martin Down on a sunny Sunday afternoon getting to get valuable second or subsequent chances to see species we’d seen that month or before again; such as many Adonis Blues and Small Heaths, Small Blue, Green Hairstreak and Cinnabar and burnet moths alongside lots of top bird encounters that afternoon. It was also nice seeing more Meadow Brown and Large Skipper top additions to our butterfly scene at that stage I got a picture I was proud of featuring the Large Skipper that day the tenth and final that I took in this photoset. One of my best butterfly pictures this year. That day I also saw a larger fritillary species – most likely either Dark Green or Silver-washed – flying over the grass far away I did not get the chance to tell which but it was another extremely early sighting of a summer butterfly.

I was delighted to see my first Black-tailed Skimmer of 2020 at Lakeside on lunch on 1st June, not one I excepted to see here and my first ever at Lakeside so another showing how I can open my eyes to just what is about on my local patch. It was once again my earliest ever sighting of one in a year and is now a crucial one for me to see year after year as my dragonfly year really got going over that period of hot and sunny weather. Brilliant to see and I enjoyed more views of Meadow Brown, Small Heath, Speckled Wood alongside other wildlife that fine day. On another hot and sunny day the next day I was happy to see Small Tortoiseshell there throwing back to the earlier spring this year as well as many of my star species from previous days again which was nice. The Small Tortoiseshell was seen on a lunch time and evening walk the latter I got great vibes and memories on a hot evening walking over to the meadow areas here like I as a tradition do a lot on summer nights on memorable and packed butterfly watching nights the whole feelings of the evening just took me back to those times in past years. It showed the strong stage of the season we were in as the next day that was slightly wetter and cooler albeit humid still a real weather change after a long run I still managed to see Meadow Brown, Small Heath, Blue-tailed Damselfly and some moths at Lakeside. Meadow Browns were around the next grey day mostly too and over those few days there seemed to be one at every turn everywhere I looked at Lakeside especially in grass when I walked over there alongside other summer species it was that moment where I became so used to them and reassured by their presence to sustain the status of early summer as the weather dipped a bit. The sun was back for my lunch time walk that Friday and as if nothing had changed Meadow Browns, Brown Argus and Common Blue were ones I saw on the walk alongside Comma, a dragonfly species and a Common Blue damselfly a walk I saw more great flowers on too like a pyramidal orchid. I remarked what a rich urban site for flowers Lakeside is which is wonderful. The working week was finished off perfectly as I was drawn back to Lakeside for a second walk that Friday with an early Marbled White on my mind. I didn’t see a Marbled White but was delighted to see an orange skipper species at first thinking large, but when I looked at it properly landed in the long grass I was thrilled to notice it was actually a Small Skipper following its cousin onto my year list still on dizzy high figures compared to my previous years at this time. This was yet again my earliest ever sighting of one in a year by far I don’t usually see them until mid-June at the very earliest and often July. So it was a wonderful surprise seeing this species I very often see with the Marbled Whites before it which doesn’t normally happen. It was at a time of year when many of the summer species were being seen in this country so early by everyone so it was a real notable moment of that observation trend of mine with butterflies this year and a wonderful memory for me seeing my first of this species this year a key moment for me in 2020. I saw yet another summer species and had another of the standout butterfly moments of my 2020 the next day as I saw one of my favourites the Silver-studded Blue relatively hunkered down on a grey and showery day at Deadman Hill in the New Forest. My third earliest ever sighting of one in a year.

I had a brilliant butterfly lunch time walk at Lakeside on 9th June one of my best this year. I got cracking views of a Comma, many Meadow Browns with their wings open which was memorable and I photographed and Small Skipper. Also in the area I call Marbled White meadow after days of searching with others seeing them and the grass looking more and more ready for them each day I caught sight of a Marbled White. This was a special moment as I felt compelled to follow it into long grass. I got some precious moments enjoying its intricate and stunning colour scheme a black and white scheme my T-shirt that day resembled. For this a species I usually see for the first time in a year on my commutes home from work cutting through here without a camera and have to run home to get my camera and back to try and find it or one again it was a relief that lunch time to be able to with my macro lens photograph it again straight away on a nice sunny patch of a day that had its fair share of cloudy moments too. Seeing the Marbled White here has become such a tradition for me so it felt wonderful to see one that lunch time and it was yet again my earliest ever sighting of this species in a year as I was well into seeing the summer species by that point. As rain engulfed much of the later half of that week I still saw moths and Meadow Brown well at Lakeside with a nice Friday view of a Yellow Shell moth. I went back that same evening and saw another Yellow Shell as well as my first ever Burnet companion moth it was an amazing and beautiful little thing to see. I reflected how my interest in moths was really growing this year as well. I also got lovely views of Meadow Brown and more precious Small Skipper and Marbled White views too.

I had a beautiful taste of summer day for insects at Stockbridge Down and Common Marsh the next day in June where I had my best ever afternoon of seeing Dark Green Fritillaries at the down really with dozens seen and some very close we saw they are stunning butterflies, my first of the year another summer species I saw on my earliest date in a year ever. I took I feel my best ever picture of this species that day too with my macro lens. I also saw more Marbled Whites, Green-veined White, Small Blue and Heath, Cinnabar moth and got great views of three of my favourites the Large Skipper, many Small Tortoiseshells and Adonis Blue which was great. At Common Marsh I got the great summer moment of seeing my first Scarlet Tiger moth of the year I do like them and as I have done before there saw my first Banded Demoiselle of the year. Meadow Brown and Small Tortoiseshell were about there too a pivotal part of my year. The next day at Martin Down another top one I got great views of Dark Green Fritillary, Marbled White, Meadow Browns, Small Tortoiseshell as a little influx of them occurred, Large and Small Skipper and Cinnabar moth as well as see only my second ever Chimney Sweeper moths. Poppies turning a field visible from there red from a beauty and landscape photography point of view stood out on that walk too as did seeing little red flowers do the same to Stockbridge Down the day before. Memorable moments for photos.

On the Monday that followed my next butterfly quest was fulfilled as I saw a Ringlet flying at Lakeside in a flower bed by the visitor centre, my first of the year, my earliest ever sighting of one in a year once again and an impressive I thought eleventh butterfly year tick seen either in or near to Lakeside this year. It was a great moment seeing this subtly different to Meadow Brown butterfly which I anticipated a lot for the second year running as a year tick here. I also got cracking views of Meadow Browns, Marbled White and Large Skipper in flower rich long grassed meadows here that day. The next day I saw Ringlet and Marbled White again in rich flower patches beside and at the back of the visitor centre with Small Tortoiseshell too, as well as on the walk Meadow Brown, Blue-tailed Damselfly, Black-tailed Skimmer and Emperor dragonfly on what turned into a hot and sunny lunch break at Lakeside. The next day Lakeside was teeming with Marbled Whites and Small Skippers with the sun in and out and I knew peak season was here in the grasses really amazing to see. I also saw Meadow Browns, a bee on our buddleia bush at home, Banded Demoiselle and many flowers again such as bee and pyramidal orchid that day. I enjoyed so many other great orchids so close to me at Lakeside this year too like southern marsh and common spotted which was great. On that Friday I realised a bit of an ambition this year of photographing butterflies mating again I’d not managed it with a macro lens for years but I was thrilled to see two Marbled Whites mating in the grassland near the woods in the south west of Lakeside by the path that takes you to the ford. It was a beautiful natural moment to witness and get so close to smashing stuff with Small Skipper and Meadow Brown seen well yet again too that day. The mating Marbled Whites one of my butterfly pictures of the year too. A lot of the experiences in June when I mentioned or posted a photo of them on Twitter I did so with the #30DaysWild hashtag. After taking part in the last two shorter festive additions around Christmas and New Year it was the first year ever I contributed to this iconic and inspiring Twitter hashtag that unifies people run by the Wildlife Trust and supported by many what with me really immersing myself in wildlife at least once every day thanks to working from home so I very much enjoyed that.

After this came my week off of work where I mentioned any notable butterfly or insect experiences in my next of these posts about it. I saw my first Silver-Washed Fritillary and Purple Hairstreak of the year at Bentley Wood, first White Admiral and Purple Emperors of the year at Knepp, first Lulworth Skippers of the year at Durlston, first Wall Brown and Gatekeeper of the year at Portland Bill and my first ever Stag beetle at Fishlake Meadows during that week. Thanks for bearing with me in this really long highlights blog one of my longest ever for sure, although I’m afraid the next one and my autumn one this year is longer! As I said at the top, my sixth of these posts on Wednesday is about what happened next in my butterfly, insect and flower year after the week off so do look out for that if you’re interested. In my bonus eleventh highlights post this year about my November and December I also wrote about topics covered in this blog.

[captain-jinguji]

Shall we dance? (ichinose Tokiya x reader) 

A/N: i felt bad for putting tokiya through his feelings a few posts back soni came up with this :) enjoy!

After STARISH figured out that it was your 21st birthday and after Ren convinced everyone that this was indeed a very huge milestone (though to you it was just another year ???), you were now dressed up in a cocktail dress with your hair put up elegantly and make up done at a party that was way too extravagant and you still have no idea how Ren managed to organize all of this in half a day. There were servers and food that was to die for. Everyone congratulated you and you got more presents than you could possibly store in your room, most of them, of course coming from Ren and even people you didn't know, like, at all. You just really didn't care about them though. Don't get me wrong, you were grateful and Ren really out did himself, even though you were sure he just wanted an excuse to spend a ridiculous amount of money, but you hoped to have a more relaxing birthday, with someone special, cuddled up or maybe taking a walk around the park. Either way, you just totally weren't prepared for this whole party to pop up. 

"Shall we Dance?" The words came out of nowhere and successfully pulled you out of your thoughts. You knew who spoke them in an instant. That voice was the reason for your late nights, your glorious days, and your guilty pleasures. Most definitely the voice you hoped to spend your birthday with, in peace. Nonetheless, you're just happy that the voice sought you out in this mass of people, and you turned around to face him with gleaming eyes and a beaming smile. 

"Why of course we shall, my dear sir," you replied, chuckling at him shaking his head at the 'sir'. He held out his hand for you and you gladly took it. Tokiya looked absolutely ravishing in his suit. The beige with the dark blue undershirt really complimented him and you could've swooned at the sight, of course you wouldn't. After all, this was all purely platonic and anything more would not be expected. Hoped, but not expected. 

He pulled you in, one hand holding onto yours, whilst the other wrapped around the small of your back. Your own hand was placed softly onto his shoulders and you two broke out into the Waltz that was playing. "Might I say, you look absolutely perfect in your suit." You spoke, smiling at him. It was never awkward between Tokiya and you, something that you appreciated deeply, and something that he appreciated too. Tokiya relaxed easily when you were around and it brought a sense of peace to him that he doesn't feel very often. 

"You look beautiful yourself. It's amazing what Ren could muster up in such a short time." He replied, and you didn't know if he was talking about the fact that Ren was responsible for not only your dress, but also your hair and make up, or if he was talking about the party itself. 

"Yeah, it's amazing that he did this, for me nonetheless. I was completely prepared to bake my own cake and spend my day relaxing, maybe going for a walk. But he came along, with a cake might I add, and the most extravagant thing i've seen in awhile."

"If this is the most extravagant thing you've seen in a while, you must have not looked in the right places," tokiya spun you around as his words rang in your ears. You blushed softly but decided to dig deeper , "oh yeah? What is the most extravagant thing that you have seen lately, mr. ichinose?" You teased softly, the music pulling you closer. 

"You," was all he said before he placed a soft kiss onto your lips. 

Kissing him back felt so natural, but that doesn't mean you weren't shocked at his actions. "Toki-" "Happy Birthday, (Y/N). You make everything better." He spoke, smiling softly at you. You were too speechless to reply to him at first, so you chose to just lay your head on his shoulder, the Waltz turning into something slower, more intimate. Both his hands were now wrapped around you and pulling you closer to him. It was unexplainable at first. The love you shared for each other wasn't as passionate and intense as Ren always made things out to be; it was soft and gentle, like a river over stone, just how you liked it. 

"You too, toki…" You finally replied, enjoying this simple moment in the most extravagant way possible. 

"Pay up, ikki," Ren said, holding out his hand to the redhead. Otoya whined softly but handed the money to Ren, "I can't believe you were right. Tokiya never made it obvious that he liked (Y/N)." Ren chuckled, "he did. In his own soft way, he did." 

[islamicrays]

The Importance of Outdoor Play

Kids need movement and physical activity, in order for them to develop normally and meet their milestones as they grow. This is an important need that children have, and unfortunately, some parents accidentally overlook it in today's sedentary and inactive society.

It used to be, in previous times, that kids spent the majority of their day outside. Older generations will sometimes reminisce about how as kids, they'd would be outside exploring or riding bikes, and then come home, happy and dirty, in time for dinner.

But today, we have shifted our thinking, and as a society, restricted kids' ability to move and play freely. We worry about kids' safety outside and about kidnapping and violence. We worry that even while we are with our kids at the park or playground, certain things, like jumping or climbing, are too risky and will cause injury to our kids. So we constantly say things like, "No running!" and "No climbing!" and "No jumping!" and "No wrestling!"

This is terrible for our kids.

A staggering body of research shows that the drastic decline in "risky" outdoor behavior in children is actually creating behavioral problems. By constantly hovering over our kids, diminishing their time for free outdoor play, and reprimanding them to be quieter, stay clean, move slower, we are causing more harm than good.

According to many studies across North American and Western countries, the average child spends 8 hours a day in front of screens. (TV, video games, computers, phones, ipads, etc). For older kids, the average is closer to 11 hours a day.

This screen time in modern society has pretty much taken over the outdoor time of previous eras. Unlike outdoor time, screen time does not provide proprioceptive or vestibular input.

What are these two things?

In order for kids to listen, focus. and sit still for a period of time, they MUST develop both these things: proprioceptive and vestibular senses. The most critical time for the development of these two senses is before the age of 6.

Let's tackle each of these things one by one.

1. Proprioception is what tells you where your body parts are without having to look at them. You use this to make sense of gravity, to switch from the gas pedal to the brake pedal without looking at your feet while you're driving, and to type without looking at your fingers. You use it to bring food to your mouth without taking your eyes off the person you're talking to.

Without properly developed proprioception, kids can fall out of their chair during dinner, push too hard during a game of hide and seek, or trip while walking up the stairs. You'll see this often in toddlers as they learn to develop their proprioception, but it should start to lessen around the age of 4.

When we push kids too early to stay indoors, play less rambunctiously, or sit still at a desk at school, what we are really doing is stunting the growth of their prioproception and hindering normal development.

2. Vestibular sense provides information about where the body is in relation to its surroundings. It helps you understand balance and connects with all other senses to keep you stable.

Without a properly developed vestibular sense, all other senses will not develop well. Kids will have no choice but to fidget, get frustrated, have more falls and aggression, get too close to people when talking or walking, and struggle to focus or listen to directions. Because they cannot help it.

So, for kids to be able to listen and follow instruction (like in a school setting, for example), they need to develop proprioception and vestibular sense by experiencing MANY physical challenges during childhood.

Without this, kids can't pay attention to their parents at home or listen to the teacher in school because they are too distracted by their own bodies. Putting clothes on, feeding themselves, and trying to write become insurmountable tasks when kids have under-developed proprioceptive and vestibular senses.

What do we see today? Kids getting diagnosed with ADHD or ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) left and right, being prescribed Ritalin or Adderall to "fix" their attention span and focus problems, only to sink deeper into behavioral issues. It's a vicious cycle.

To give your child ample opportunity to develop normally and be sound in their proprioception and vestibular sense, take them outside. Let them engage in free play. Allow them to take some risks while playing.

Being outside, even for short amounts of time, is proven to improve mood (for both kids and adults!) and cognitive performance. Being outside actually triggers the brain to release dopamine and seratonin, like stimulant medications like Adderall do, but without all the terrible side effects of those medications.

Kids need a lot of time outdoors, around 3 hours a day, if possible.

To develop proprioception in kids:

*Carry or lift boxes

*Build a fort

*Shovel snow

*Dig in dirt

*Give hugs

*Rake leaves

*Pick up and put down stuff

*Carry buckets with sand and/ or water

*Knead dough or play dough

*Play tug of war

To develop vestibular sense in kids:

*Spin in circles

*Roll down a hill

*Rocking

*Monkey bars

*Go backwards

*Merry-go-round

*Spin on a swing

*Jump rope

*Skate

*Swim

*Be upside down

*Climb trees

*Do cartwheels and flips

This is another reason why homeschooling is a wonderful option. You don't have to rely on the school's measly 30-minute recess time; instead, you can let your child roam freely in the backyard or the playground for hours. You don't have to settle for your kid being forced to sit still at a desk in school for too long, too early.

This post is a follow-up to yesterday's post about eliminating or limiting screen time for kids. If you don't have your kids watching TV or looking at smartphones, what do you have them doing? Playing outside and developing gross motor skills, proprioception, and vestibular sense, that's what.

So get out there! Take your kids outside and have some fun!

It's what your kids already *want* to do, AND it's *developmentally good* for them! Alhamdulellah.

Via Umm Khaled

[jasonamada07-blog]

Jason Amada Looking For Massage Pointers? Take A Look Here

Jason Amada Proficient tips provider. Start working towards a healthier, active set of goals and you will find that life becomes more enjoyable. A great reward as your reach these milestones is the classical massage. Spending a couple of hours on the massage chair each month will remind you why you what you are fighting for in the first place.

If you have been feeling particularly stressed out, it just might be time to have a relaxing massage. Massages are not only helpful to relax you mentally but physically as well. It helps to promote circulation and loosens up your muscles. Let go of some of your stress with a massage.

Jason Amada Skilled tips provider. Remember that you will experience new things when going in for a massage. If you have never received a massage, then you will likely find some massage techniques strange. Try not to let this stop you from having a good massage. Let go and allow the massage therapist do what they do best.

The bear hug technique is useful if you carry tension in your shoulders. You can fold your arms in an x across your chest. Put each hand on the opposing shoulder and rub firmly. You can give yourself an easy and effective massage anytime using this simple method.

Request that the lights be dimmed during your massage. You want your massage to be relaxing and enjoyable, and a darker room will help to provide that type of atmosphere. You don't have to make the room all the way dark, but it needs to be lit as if there were candles lighting the room.

You should do a belly massage following every meal. Using one or both palms, start rubbing your abdominal area using clockwise circular motions. The clockwise motion is the same direction that your food digests naturally in your intestines. This can help with digestion and prevent gas and intestinal discomfort.

If you're receiving a massage, you shouldn't hesitate to talk to your massage therapist. Make your therapist aware of areas that need special attention. If she is not providing enough intensity to get out those deep knots, you will never get the relief you are seeking without saying something.

Increase the speed that you massage as you get deeper into it. It's a good idea to start out at a slower speed so that the recipient has time to get used to the massage and help relax them. This will also increase the friction as you give the massage.

Jason Amada Proficient tips provider. Doing eye massages can relieve tired and sore eyes. The main benefit of this massage is using warmth to relieve pain and strain. Begin this massage by rubbing your hands together vigorously. Do this until your hands start to feel warm. When hands are warm, cover each eye with a palm until the warmth goes away.

If giving someone a massage using oil, offer them a shower after it. In addition to washing off the oil, it can also relax the body further. This is vital for the skin too, as it keeps pores from clogging and blemishes from developing.

Tip your masseuse. The pay is low for such a job, so tips are a must. Similar to a restaurant, a 15% tip will suffice. Or if you feel that you got a great massage, you could always tip more. You'll be grateful when you come back and the therapist remembers the tip. Since it will guarantee you get her or his best.

When you are giving a massage, one of the key points to focus on is constant movement. You should never stop abruptly, as this will ruin the flow of the massage. You can slow down and speed up while you rub your hands up and down the back and legs, but never come to a complete stop.

When you are stumped for what to give as a Christmas or birthday present, consider buying a coupon for a healthy massage! Everybody loves the soothing and relaxing benefits of a deep tissue massage and who couldn't use the extra pampering? Especially for the person who has everything, the gift of massage is perfect!

If your shoulders are bothering you, you should try hugging yourself and massaging the muscles you can reach while hugging yourself. This exercise will also help you stretch your entire back. You should try this technique if you have to sit on a chair during most of your work day.

Remember to breathe deeply when receiving a massage. You want to bring oxygen to every part of your body to enhance the healing effects of the massaging action. Breathe in and out of your nose to create a meditative type state, and make sure to breathe deep into your abdomen.

Ask your therapist about referral programs. Perhaps you can secure a nice discount if you send your friends to the therapist. A nearly-free massage is perfect when your budget is tight and you need some stress-reduction to make it through the weekend.

If you are unsure of which massage therapist to see in your area, ask your family members and coworkers. Referrals are crucial. While they don't ensure that you will get a great therapist, they do increase your odds tremendously. After you get a few names, do your own research to see which person you think best fits your needs.

Jason Amada Professional tips provider. Go online for help in selecting a massage therapist. If that doesn't work, talk to your primary care physician. You can also talk to a nurse or a chiropractor in the area whose work you respect. Professional recommendations are almost as good (if not better) than personal recommendations, particularly if you trust the individual.

The patient isn't made of glass, so don't be afraid to close your fists or use your elbows to thump along the body's outline. This small exertion of force at the beginning of a massage helps waken the nerves and loosen the tired muscles. Apply a gentle amount of force and follow along the shoulders, ribcage, and lower neck for maximum efficiency.

Jason Amada Proficient tips provider. A massage isn't purely for pleasure. There are many health-related benefits that come from spending time under the trained hands of a professional masseuse. Even if you aren't working towards a set of goals or achievements, you should still plan some time with your local massage parlor and give your back a break from the stress of everyday life.

[fourangers]

Uchiha Sasuke’s odd mating rituals (ch. 2/4)

1st chapter here

--.--

Sasuke blinked, his mouth opening to a discreet yawn that he covered with his hand. “It's late night. You could have told me about this tomorrow morning.”

Naruto huffed, crossing his arms. “But⏤”

“Tomorrow Naruto.” Sasuke muttered, laying back on his bed as his hand shooed Naruto away. “I'll call the city council to book our appointment.” He heard a suspicious movement and added. “Don't you dare do any prank now.”

Naruto blew a raspberry back but still left him alone.

On the next morning Sasuke told him that, surprisingly, there was an hour available on the same day. Naruto wanted Iruka to participate the event, but the older nin was away in a monthly mission, so both men agreed that it'd be better if they married now.

Naruto glanced around the stuffy room, his feet tapping repeatedly while they waited for their turn. Honestly, this looked more like they were just there to grab some documents instead of marrying. He heard their call as they hurried to the room, being greeted by the officiant’s apathetic gaze. He began reciting the speech in a droning tone, that Naruto had already heard plenty times in movies before, the ceremony progressing without a hitch.

Sasuke signed his name, agreeing that from now on they would share a new surname Uchiha-Uzumaki. Shrugging, Naruto signed his consent, wondering why he was so reluctant about this whole thing.

“Congratulations, you may kiss your husband now.”

Oh, that’s why.

Naruto turned to stare at his best friend-turned-husband with wide eyes, even if Sasuke returned his gaze with apparent nonchalance. Never in his life he'd imagine that he'd do something like that to Sasuke, well, the first accidental kiss didn't count. He hoped he's not a lame kisser, he could count with his hands the amount of kisses he'd done in the past, he should have checked if his breath didn't stink, and oh God, he's not overthinking was he?

Naruto's brain took a halt when Sasuke started to approach towards him. He squinted his eyes, squaring his shoulders until he heard the officiant thanking them. Bewildered, he blinked open, as Sasuke was shaking hands with everybody, now his mind slowly registering at last the softest brush of lips that ended way too soon. Naruto glanced down, the small pang of disappointment coming from his chest.

Wait...what?

“Maybe we should celebrate this milestone after all. I'm thinking ordering some sushi, what do you think?” Sasuke suggested as they were exiting the building.

Naruto perked up at the food mention, his scattered thoughts forgotten. “Cool! I'm down with sushi, I'll buy some sake for us to drink.”

Sasuke nodded. “Good. And tomorrow I'll help you packing your things to move in.”

"Huh? Wait, this is all happening so fast. And which house we're going to live in, by the way?"

"If I remember well, you said that yours is rented right?" When Naruto nodded, Sasuke added. "The house I'm living is mine though, so it’s one less expense in our pockets. Also, it's spacious enough for two men."

"I guess...but do I have to move so soon?" He rubbed the back of his blond head.

"It's better strike while the iron is hot. Now that we're married we can ask for some days off to organize everything."

So before Naruto could realize himself, he was already occupied folding his clothes and placing in big cardboard boxes, with Sasuke cleaning up the room afterwards. Overall he didn't have that many possessions, it was mostly clothes, his plants and some furniture here and there, most of them Sasuke had a hard time convincing Naruto to throw it out since he struggled to relinquish his beloved lumpy orange-colored couch.

Carrying them all was an easier task since they used their respective summoned animals, even if Gamakichi protested that he wasn't some kind of carriage mule. Naruto managed to quiet him down with promises that he'd give him some food in return. He glanced as Sasuke patted his hawk's beak, the gigantic bird taking flight. Why was the bastard's summons so much more cooperative than his?

Another couple of hours were used to put his things in Sasuke's house, though Naruto was positively surprised that they wasted fewer hours than expected. There were a lot of empty spaces for him.

"These closets are yours." Sasuke gestured the furniture on the right. He opened his cabinets and said. "The first three shelves are also yours."

"Thanks! Wow, how did you manage to clean up your clothes so fast in one day?" Naruto wondered though he only received a shrug back.

Their dinner was unexpectedly nicer than usual, with Naruto cooking and Sasuke setting the table, eating with their usual banter. Hey…He could get used to this, Naruto wondered, as the evening was spent watching a movie together. Soon his eyelids were feeling quite heavy as he widened a very tired yawn from his mouth.

"I guess it's almost time to sleep huh. Tomorrow morning you have some classes with Kakashi." Sasuke muttered.

"Hmm...yeah. I guess I'll sleep on the couch right?"

“Why? Let's just share our bed.”

“Errr…it's actually your bed and you're probably used to have it all for yourself right? I shouldn't bother you.”

Sasuke scoffed, turning around and walking to the bedroom. “Nonsense. My bed is big enough for both of us, it won't be an issue.” He gestured, laying on one side to show his point. He raised himself to a seating position, staring at Naruto.

“Well, if you say so.” Naruto mumbled, glancing down and shifted his feet.

In their bathroom, Sasuke practically dragged him to brush his teeth, launching a lecture about hygiene habits and so on. This bantering eased Naruto about the whole sharing bed thing, as they slept elbow jabbing the other.

⏤.⏤  

Naruto groaned, the alarm clock ringing him awake as he struggled to move. His body was still in adjustment, sleeping in a much more softer surface in comparison to his old, hard bed. Yawning, he gingerly opened his eyes to realize that he was nestled on Sasuke's chest.

How did⏤When did⏤What?? Naruto reasoned himself, in an attempt to calm down. Maybe they moved while sleeping and this was an unfortunate position to be woken up, that's all, he shouldn't look too much into it. Yes, that's it. Now he really should stop being so aware of his best friend's close proximity that he could feel the warmth emanating from his body. Naruto breathed in, also picking up a pleasant scent coming from Sasuke, making him wonder if his friend was wearing some cologne or this was just his natural odor. Sasuke smelled really nice.

Oooookay, he was going insane, he should stop this. Now. Naruto grumbled about stupid bastard and his stupid pheromones, affecting his judgement somehow. He shifted backwards to widen the distance, realizing that Sasuke's hands were linked behind his back, limiting his movements. He was beginning to wonder how Sasuke hadn't woken up yet, perusing the handsome face, the usual knitted eyebrows smoothed out relaxed, jaw a little slack with a slow rhythmical breathing.

Naruto stiffened, brain panicking when Sasuke began to stir awake, graphite eyes blinking, realizing his surroundings. He turned to focus on the blond man's nervous glance, Naruto braced himself for any kind of reaction. However, Sasuke closed in dropping a simple kiss on the top of his head. "Morning." He muttered, yawning discreetly as he went to the bathroom.

Naruto remained frozen for a while, his mind asking for a much needed reboot to comprehend what the fuck had just happened. His best friend maybe, probably, definitely kissed his head. Naruto would have never guessed that Sasuke was a cuddler type, much less an affectionate one on mornings. Who the hell is this man and who snatched the usual cold bastard he knew?

Staring Sasuke's back as the latter finished his morning ritual, Naruto mused the need to inquiry. He opened his mouth, until Sasuke turned to face him. "I'm thinking cooking some breakfast, you like toast with some scrambled eggs right?"

Naruto quirked an eyebrow, but answered nevertheless. "Yeah, sure. It'd be nice." He got ready for the day as he heard a sizzling sound coming from the kitchen. How comforting this feels, listening to noises in his home instead of the deafening silence back when he lived alone. Feeling his mood improving exponentially, Naruto grinned, sitting on a nearby table until Sasuke finished it up and placed the food for them.

There was no sign of any drastic change coming from his friend, Naruto observed as Sasuke ate his bread in small bites. Maybe Sasuke was half-awake when he kissed his head, so this was probably a one-time thing. Nothing to be alarmed for.

They went on with their usual routine, jumping and sprinting to the Hokage tower, though Sasuke arrived first much to Naruto's chagrin. As they went inside, Naruto was ready to launch the usual quip about the Uchiha’s victorious smirk till he took a halt. Sasuke noticed the blond nin's slower steps, questioning. “What?”

Naruto quirked an eyebrow, raising their hands to show their fingers linked.

Sasuke shrugged. “Hn. Better do this to show the fangirls our current situation so they can stop pestering around. Which reminds me…” He rummaged his pocket and showed two rings to Naruto. “Here, one is yours.”

Blue eyes stared in mild astonishment, voicing out. “Uh… Do we really have to? Just the fact we're holding hands should discourage them right?”

“Am I really going to waste the opportunity to flaunt the fact that we're married? This way they will give up once and for all. It's just a ring dumbass, nothing big.” Sasuke said, placing his own ring on his finger.

Naruto gazed for a minute before also putting it on too. His new marital status was finally driving home, watching the shocked faces and bellowing screams from the passersby, while they were walking to the Hokage's office.

“Well…I guess I'll see you later.” Naruto said opening the door, while Kakashi and his assistants were waiting him to start the Hokage’s apprenticeship.

Sasuke grunted, nodding. “Have a nice day.” He muttered, then he dropped a kiss on the whiskered cheek while Naruto's guard was down.

“Sasuke, what⏤” Naruto exclaimed though Sasuke intervened.

“I just needed an extra convincing gesture. I think we succeeded here.”

Naruto turned around to see all eyes staring in stunned silence, some even let the mission reports slide to the ground, every jaw dropped in the scene.

He soon shut the door, his face beef red. Everyone recomposed themselves, resuming their conversation even if they gesticulated in stiff movements.

Walking towards the Hokage, the blond man scratched his head. “Um. So…Sasuke and I are married now.”

Kakashi gazed back flabbergasted, dawning in comprehension till he responded.  “Oooh, I see. I guess some congratulations to Sasuke is in order!”

Naruto narrowed his eyes. “And why do you want to congratulate specifically Sasuke when I’m married too?”

“Hm.” His teacher closed his eyes in amusement and the expression was eerily similar to Sakura's somehow. “I guess you’re right. Congratulations Naruto.”

Naruto ignored the teasing barb with a roll of eyes, as they concentrated in their tasks, Kakashi teaching him Konoha laws and so on.

Naruto ended up eating lunch with Sasuke, trying very hard not to blush too much when his…husband kissed him again on the cheek before they returned to work. He really ought to start getting used to call his best friend in this new naming from now on.

Fortunately once they were home, they returned to their usual selves, shifting to a comfortable zone Naruto was familiar with. It was hardly a chore adapting to this lifestyle, as expected, Sasuke fit perfectly well to him despite the differences. He tasked himself to clean up the house, Naruto learned not to leave trash on the ground after some sharp complaints. On the other hand, Naruto was responsible for cooking and washing clothes, both laying exhausted watching TV to pass the day.

As weeks have progressed, it was getting increasingly difficult to assess his companion. Sasuke was acting...uh...strange. As soon as they were outside their house, Sasuke insisted holding his hand to, in his words, reinforce their relationship status and not create any unnecessary gossip. But people were getting used to see them together in that way, drawing lesser gasps whenever Sasuke would kiss him in the ninja quarters.

Naruto could rationalize that what they were doing outside was only for appearances, so he sort of accepted this situation. He couldn’t come up with an excuse, however, whenever he would wake up with Sasuke’s arms enveloped around his body, an automatic kiss on his head ensuing later.

The third time this happened, Naruto confronted him. Sasuke gazed back in apparent composure, muttering. “You move too much while you’re sleeping, it’s the only way I can get you stay still so I can sleep.”

The blond nin raised his eyebrows, conceding this well-crafted explanation. Then, he muttered. “Yeah well, but what about the kiss? Why do you do that?”

Sasuke droned out. “What kiss?”

“You always kiss me on my head once you wake up.” Naruto pressed on, licking his lips.

“Do I?”

Naruto gave him a deadpan look, nodding.

His husband used few minutes in quiet contemplation, then stared back.

"Hm, maybe I did." Sasuke muttered airily, crossing his arms. "Why? Do you hate it?"

Taking off guard from Sasuke’s sincerity, it was Naruto’s turn to fall silent. He scratched the back of his head, shrugging. "No, I don't hate it, it's...well." Weird. Weird in the sense that it's weird he's not disliking this. At all.

“Well then, so what’s all the fuss is about?”

Naruto was at loss with words, feeling his face heating up as he glanced down, fumbling his thumbs. Since he couldn’t come up with a retort back, they went to bed as usual, but this time Naruto even allowed Sasuke to lace his arms around his waist, nose burrowing on the golden hair and letting out a contented sigh before they slept. When did the tables had turned around this way?

Things have changed since, with little details that were very noticeable for an affection starved person like Naruto. He knew that Sasuke wasn’t one with pointless movements, so whatever he did, hid a special meaning within. He was acutely aware whenever the touches would linger, the kisses would stretch few seconds more, hand squeezing a little tighter when they went shopping together.

As his heartbeats would increase whenever his husband would act like that, Naruto really really didn’t want to recognize an unnamed feeling that was wedging all the way in. It’s⏤it’s weird. It’s weird and awkward and highly embarrassing that he would have this kind of emotion towards his best friend, and the fact that he was enjoying these interactions made the whole issue so much worse.

--.--

3rd chapter

[usdtmixedcurrency]

Bitcoin: All It's Hyped Up to Be?

Had you spent $27 on Bitcoin when it was created by Satoshi Nakamoto in 2009 your investment would now be worth over $37,000,000.

Widely regarded as the greatest investment vehicle of all time, Bitcoin has seen a meteoric rise during 2017 going from $777 all the way to $17,000.

Creating millionaires out of opportunistic investors and leaving financial institutions open-mouthed, Bitcoin has answered its critics at every milestone this year and some believe this is just the beginning.

The launch of Bitcoin futures on December 10th, which for the first time will allow investors to enter the Bitcoin market through a major regulated US exchange, implies that we are just getting started.

What makes Bitcoin so valuable is that there is a finite amount in existence. There will only ever be a maximum of 21 million Bitcoins and unlike normal fiat currencies you can't just print more of them whenever you feel like. This is because Bitcoin runs on a proof of work protocol: in order to create it, you have to mine it using computer processing power to solve complex algorithms on the Bitcoin blockchain. Once this is achieved, you are rewarded with Bitcoin as payment for the "work" you have done. Unfortunately the reward you get for mining has decreased drastically almost every year since Bitcoin's inception, which means that for most people the only viable way to get Bitcoin is buying it on an exchange. At the current price levels is that a risk worth taking? Click now USDT混币

Many believe Bitcoin is simply a bubble. I spoke to cryptocurrency expert and long term investor Duke Randal who thinks the asset is overvalued, "I would compare this to many supply and demand bubbles over history such as Dutch Tulip Mania and the dot com bubble of the late 90s. Prices are purely speculation based, and when you look at Bitcoin's functionality as an actual currency it is almost embarrassing." For those who don't know, the dot com bubble was a period between 1997-2001 where many internet companies were founded and given outrageously optimistic valuations based purely on speculation that later plummeted 80-90% as the bubble began to collapse in the early 2000s. Some companies such as eBay and Amazon, recovered and now sit far above those valuations but for others it was the end of the line.

Bitcoin was originally created in order to take power away from our financial systems and put people in control of their own money, cutting out the middle man and enabling peer to peer transactions. However, it is now one of the slowest cryptocurrencies on the market, its transaction speed is four times slower than the fifth biggest cryptocurrency and its nearest competitor for payment solutions Litecoin. Untraceable privacy coin Monero makes transactions even quicker, boasting an average block time of just two minutes, a fifth of the time Bitcoin can do it in, and that's without anonymity. The world's second biggest cryptocurrency, Ethereum, already has a higher transaction volume than Bitcoin despite being valued at only $676 dollars per Ether compared to Bitcoin's $16,726 per Bitcoin.

So why is Bitcoin's value so high? I asked Duke Randal the same question. "It all goes back to the same supply and demand economics, relatively there is not very much Bitcoin available and its recent surge in price has attracted a lot of media attention, this combined with the launch of Bitcoin futures which many see as the first sign Bitcoin is being accepted by the mass market, has resulted in a lot of people jumping on the bandwagon for financial gain. Like any asset, when there is a higher demand to buy than to sell, the price goes up. This is bad because these new investors are entering the market without understanding blockchain and the underlying principles of these currencies meaning they are likely to get burnt".

[ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is]

Hi again :) I’m that 16 year old (when I asked you, 15 year old) INXJ (earlier told you was INTJ) who was having trouble with studying to get into a top 100 college. After some introspection and cause-effect analysis I’ve come to realise you analysed my situation very well. Five days ago the fact that ‘I was not willing to do it but wanted to be willing to do it’ clicked. I felt less compulsive because I had accepted how hard I needed to work to successfully pursue my goals.

I believe that was Ni-Se integration. Unfortunately, now I’m back to my old self because the motivation/importance of my goals has paled. Now, just in case you’re about to close this tab, I’d like to elaborate that I know I might need to develop discipline; I have questions about the process itself. The questions I want to ask are: (1) Is there any way to mantain earnestness/motivation while pursuing a goal that has few or no tangible rewards in the short run? I’m not saying you should feel GOOD

while pursing it; I realised a few months ago that generally you don’t always need to feel awesome about what you’re doing. I believe I am in Se grip but when I try to engage my Ni, it lends control to Se very quickly. (2) If I do NOT need to mantain motivation, how do I keep aware of the position I’ve chosen for my life and act, daily, in respect to that? How do I mantain enough emotional intelligence to make sure all my actions are made with full emotional and conscious awareness, even if

they’re not perfect? (3) As I stated in the first question, one of the issues I’m having is that while I can easily work for goals that actually show progress (e.g. studying for the SAT, in which I have to give practice tests, which I’m doing successfully) goals that seem disconnected with what I’m doing in the present (e.g. studying for my cirriculum, in which examinations are far away, material is taught VERY poorly (believe me, people don’t even know what math is used for) and there’s no

earlier reward that is actually of the same nature as fulfilling my goal) What do you think is a way to actually FEEL long term goals being made progress towards? Even better, can I free of having to need a reward to do what I need to do? (4) Can you help me figure out whether I'm INTJ or INFJ? I think you may guess INFJ, but I have some very peculiar instances of using Fi in which I feel 'my actions are justified' and 'morally superior' to others.

--------

Hi anon,

I’m really not sure what you’re getting at with the MBTI grip stuff here; I don’t see evidence for Se grip behavior unless there’s something you’re not explaining.

For the questions:

1. My argument would be that it’s not worth trying to maintain motivation. That’s the whole point of developing discipline. You can keep the end goal in mind, and typically that is the motivation for high Ni users. You can also focus on milestones, which is a way of sort of artificially putting a short-term reward in place (eg, getting yourself something small as a reward for a certain number of pages or hours of studying).

2. I’m not sure where you’re getting at with this question. Discipline isn’t, in my mind, about emotional and conscious awareness. It’s about doing the thing you said you would do every day even if you don’t feel emotionally into it that day. The whole purpose of focusing on discipline rather than motivation is that it removes the emotional connection to the goal (ie, motivation) and just says “here’s the goal. Here’s the thing I do regularly towards the goal, whether I feel like it or not.” Discipline is often referenced in respect to exercise, for example, and a disciplined exerciser goes to the gym however many times per week. They may say “I hate this” one or more of those times but they do it. As for how to even get to the point of doing that, I’ll talk about that a bit in part 4 but again an artificial reward is often part of it.

3. You can’t, other than focusing on those senses of what you do. This actually is something that gets talked about in business scenarios a lot when people set SMART goals, where SMART is used to stand for Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound. Measurable is a hard thing because there’s metrics that you have direct control over, and metrics that you don’t, and discipline relates to those you do have direct control over. To use the exercise example again, you can have an ultimate goal of running a mile in under 7 minutes, but if you’re slower than that you can’t just make yourself run faster. You have indirect control (training to be faster) but not direct control (just making yourself go faster). Therefore, to achieve this you have a direct metric of running a certain number of miles per week in order to become more efficient. You have direct control over that, and while you might sometimes have bad days when you run slower, barring injury/illness you can make yourself run a certain number of miles per week even if you don’t feel like it’s fun.

Getting into your goal: you ultimately do not have direct control over whether you get accepted to one of your dream colleges. You do have control over the amount of studying you do, the steps you take given what feedback you can get (eg, grades, SAT practice scores), and so on. I don’t know if you’ll get to a point where you don’t feel the need to have a reward but if you do, you’ll only find out through practice.

If I may sum up a lot of 1-3 here: achievement or even just baseline non-failure in school, college, and life is going to involve a whole lot of things you don’t feel passionate about and a whole lot of things you just have to do. This isn’t meant to be scary or depressing, but just true: you will have to do classwork you don’t like (even at those top 100 colleges). You have to do chores. In a lot of jobs, you have to do work that isn’t fully in line with the exact job description and especially early on you’ll need to do work that is more administrative or boring in nature, and often it will be a basic expectation (ie, something you don’t get much of a reward for) and it may be a good deal of time before it pays off.

4. If you send further information about yourself not limited to this specific area, yes. Please review the FAQ and other guidelines if so.

[newstfionline]

I Took ‘Adulting Classes’ for Millennials

Andrew Zaleski, CityLab, Oct 29, 2018

On the eve of my wife’s 30th birthday--a milestone I, too, will soon hit--she posed a troubling question: Are we adults yet?

We certainly feel that way: We hold our own jobs, pay our own rent, cover our own bills, drive our own cars. Our credit is in order. But we don’t yet own a house and have no children--two markers commonly associated with fully-fledged adulthood (and two markers that both our sets of parents had reached well before they turned 30). And there are other gaps in our maturity: I don’t buy napkins or know how to golf; up until last year, I didn’t know how to change the oil in my car’s engine. Thankfully, last year we managed to throw a dinner party, our first, without burning the pork roast.

A vague anxiety over these known-unknowns is something of a generational hallmark. A Monday-morning scroll through the social media feed of the average 20-something might turn up a handful of friends sharing memes of dogs--looking bewildered, exasperated, or both--unironically captioned with something like: “Don’t make me adult today.”

Yes, Millennials have killed yet another thing. In this case, it’s something so fundamental that it may have seemed unkillable, but apparently isn’t: knowing how to be an adult.

Younger people need not look far on the internet to find popular condemnation from card-carrying grown-ups about our many shortcomings. We are, we are often told, simpering, self-indulgent, immune-to-difficulty know-nothings, overgrown toddlers who commute on children’s toys and demand cucumber water in our workplaces. But in our own social circles, such constructive criticism can be harder to find. Young urbanites tend to pack themselves into specific neighborhoods, cities, and living situations that have relatively fewer older residents. In such communities, knowledge on how to Seamless a meal to the doorstep is a dime a dozen, but first-hand experience in snaking a drain, cooking a meal for four, or operating a manual transmission comes at more of a premium. (To say nothing of the fact that a third of Americans between 18 and 34 are living with their parents.)

Luckily, the rough road to adulthood can be paved with adulting classes. The Adulting Collective, a startup venture out of Portland, Maine, made a big splash about two years ago after national news outlets reported on its in-person events. In its short lifespan, the Collective has offered up lessons, either guided or via online video, in such varied life skills as bike safety, holiday gift-giving for the cash-strapped, putting together a monthly budget, opening a bottle of wine without a corkscrew, and assembling a weekly nutritional plan. Their target audience: “emerging adults,” the massive 93-million-strong demographic group composed of people in their 20s and early 30s.

There are similarly structured programs across the country. At the Brooklyn Brainery, for example, you can take classes on how to run a good meeting or what Seinfeld teaches us about love. Take an online course with the Society of Grownups, sponsored by the insurance company Mass Mutual, and topics will include budgeting and how to deal with student-loan debt.

The sheer banality of many of these courses is their salient quality. They’re teaching stuff that people neither look forward to nor seem to enjoy, but implicitly recognize as part of being a grown-up: paying bills, setting a budget, calling the car insurance company, looking after your health. The joyless, quotidian chores of post-adolescence.

“Adulting is something nobody prepares you for, but you know it when it happens. It’s the unglorified part of being on your own,” says Rebekah Fitzsimmons, assistant director of the writing and communication program at Georgia Tech who taught a class on adulting in the 21st century in 2016.

In a bygone era, the ordinariness traditionally associated with growing the hell up was something few noticed--in the first half of the 20th century, 20-somethings were too busy trying not to die of the Spanish Flu or fighting Hitler to worry too much about what life skills they were failing to develop. That has now been replaced by public displays of what it means to be a self-sufficient human being, Fitzsimmons says. At the intersection of these two competing truths is the cottage industry of adulting, one nurtured by Instagram hashtags and built around how-to classes for hapless Millennials.

Born in 1989, I am a card-carrying member of the oft-derided demographic. How hapless am I? To find out, I signed up for the two action challenges the Adulting Collective offered last fall: one on nutrition and another focused on monthly budgeting. Via email, I received instructions for each of these week-long courses, which had me tackling a new skill or task each day.

When I hit 30, I intend to complete emerging adulthood fully equipped for whatever comes next.

First lesson: Hydrate! Never would I have thought the amount of water I consumed would be a point of instruction. But it turns out that young adults are notoriously poor judges of this particular basic biological need. The crash course in nutrition from the Adulting Collective that arrived in my inbox last fall was titled “Detox Before You Retox,” and it heavily emphasized hangover avoidance. Billed as a way to prepare yourself “before the next happy hour,” the instructions contained multiple steps broken down over five days. Step one: Get your basics in order, like eating your veggies, exercising, and drinking more water.

So one evening I stood in the harsh glow of my kitchen’s overhead fluorescent lighting--pitcher at the ready, glass on the countertop--applying myself to my first adulting lesson. On my smartphone I made a quick calculation: my weight, divided by 2.2, multiplied by my age, divided by 28.3, divided once more by eight. The answer: eight. More precisely, I needed to drink 7.56 cups of water to hit my proper daily intake.

This was only one of the big takeaways I received. I also learned that a morning drink of lemon water and cayenne pepper mixed with said water can help boost my metabolism, apparently. Like the unnecessarily complex hydration formula above, some of this material had the effect of making a heretofore uncomplicated thing more daunting. It was months later it finally dawned on me that a simple Google search could yield a far simpler answer for the number of glasses of water I ought to drink every day.

How did it come to this? Did previous generations have so much trouble mastering the basics?

“In an ideal world, we would all be followed around by this combination of our grandmother and Merlin who would lovingly teach us how to do each and every thing in the world,” says Kelly Williams Brown, author of the 2013 book Adulting: How to Become a Grown-up in 535 Easy(ish) Steps. “In the absence of that, it can be nice to have resources.”

Brown’s book seems to be largely responsible for the meteoric rise of the gerund form of the word (which was short-listed by Oxford Dictionaries as the word of the year in 2016). A revised edition of Adulting was published in March. The adulting industry itself is newer. Rachel Weinstein co-founded the Adulting School (now Collective) with Katie Brunelle in fall 2016. (Brunelle has since left the business.)

A professional therapist, Weinstein would sometimes encounter younger clients who spoke about the idiosyncrasies of grown-up life with a feeling of self-conscious shame. Being overwhelmed about how to manage money or clean out their kitchen pantry were things they felt they had to hide. “I just saw a lot of my clients struggle with life, trying to be competent in skills that we’re not necessarily taught. People had this sense of internal embarrassment,” she says.

To Weinstein, this seemed like a golden business opportunity. As a group, 26-year-olds are the single biggest age cohort in the U.S., followed by people who are 25, 27, and 24. Yet unlike previous generations, the young people of today are slower to reach the milestones usually associated with adulthood: living independently, forming their own households, having children, and getting married. “Today’s young people,” as the U.S. Census Bureau reported last year, “look different from prior generations in almost every regard.”

Tempting as it might be to identify the price of avocados as the culprit in this stunted generational progress, there may be other reasons to explain the shift. A research report released in the spring by Freddie Mac cited weak wage growth and the rapid rise of both housing costs and average expenditures as some of the principal reasons. “A popular meme, ‘adulting is hard,’ provides a humorous take on the challenges faced by young adults,” the authors wrote. “Like a lot of good comedy, the phrase has a tinge of cruelty.”

The typical adulting student is someone whose childhood was tech-dependent and activity-rich, the sort of high-achiever kid told to get good grades.

Geography plays a role, too: Millennials tend to choose to live in the centers of high-cost cities, and their earning power hasn’t kept pace with housing costs. Since 2000, the median home price in the U.S. has risen by a quarter, from $210,000 to $270,000, while the per capita real income for young adults has risen by only 1 percent during that same period. Throw those myriad factors together, and you have some of the explanation for why 20-somethings are renting for longer periods of time than they once did, as well as why marriage and fertility rates have dropped. Appropriately, Freddie Mac’s report was titled, “Why Is Adulting Getting Harder?”

But if you go further back, delaying the markers of adulthood does have historical precedent, says Holly Swyers, an anthropology professor at Lake Forest College. She recently completed a project examining adulthood in America from the Civil War to the present day. For much of the period Swyers studied, many Americans over 18 followed roughly the same trajectory as modern Millennials do: They spent their 20s figuring out life and establishing themselves financially. The script didn’t flip until the 1950s and 1960s, when the markers that defined crossing over into the world of adulthood came to mean marrying and having children.

“Marrying when you’re 20, having kids by 21, and being established is a little bit freakish in American history,” she says.

So if those Americans of yore managed to (eventually) attain maturity without the aid of online courses, why can’t Millennials?

Maybe we really are uniquely ignorant. That’s the thesis that GOP senator and Gen Xer Ben Sasse presents in his book The Vanishing American Adult. He writes that younger Americans have willfully embraced “perpetual adolescence.” Some of this is our fault, evidently: staring at our smartphones for hours on end has obliterated our attention spans. Yet Sasse also places blame at the feet of his own generation for its “reluctance to expose young people to the demands of real work.”

Weinstein, however, offers another explanation. She attributes the acute modern need for additional grow-up instruction to class and demographics. Her typical adulting student is probably someone whose childhood was tech-dependent and activity-rich, the sort of high-achiever kid who was repeatedly told to bring home good grades in order to get into a good college. “Whatever folks are really being pressured for college prep, they’re just not getting as much time and exposure at home hanging out with their family, learning how to unclog the kitchen sink, or hang a picture on the wall,” she says.

Lots of those over-scheduled and test-prepped teens of the aughts also missed out on erstwhile educational staples like home economics and shop classes, where high-school kids once learned how to darn a sock or hold a hammer; many schools began mothballing these mandatory courses in the 1990s. As a result, legions of American high-school graduates are being unleashed on the world without any basic skills. Some higher-education institutions, such as New Jersey’s Drew University, have stepped in to offer “Adulting 101” classes in things like beginner car care for their undergraduates.

The Adulting Collective doesn’t rely solely on Weinstein’s expertise for its courses, although it appears that designing an adulting curriculum is just as much of a challenge as growing up. Right now, the website contains some short posts and links to videos explaining a few skills, which is a deviation from the original idea to enlist instructors to offer online lessons. According to Weinstein, the new plan heading into 2019 is to build out a membership program that involves action challenges similar to the nutrition course I took part in. “One of the things I’ve learned as a therapist is a lot of times a little bit of accountability to somebody helps us achieve goals and get tasks done,” she says.

To Swyers, what���s extraordinary in Adulting Ed isn’t the curriculum itself, which is a pretty standard mix of self-improvement and personal finance tips. It’s the notion of branding such lessons under the “adulting” rubric. After all, classes geared toward grown-ups and their skills are all over the place. Visit any big-box hardware store and chances are there’s some sort of hands-on workshop taking place, for example. “If somebody is willing to be taught, for instance, basic kitchen skills--which people pay for all the time--they don’t call it an ‘adulting collective.’ They call it a cooking class,” Swyers says.

The difference, says Weinstein, is that the way younger adults are expected to grow older and assume our place in the world has dramatically changed: “I don’t think it’s a ‘hapless Millennial’ kind of thing at all. I just think there are things that are harder about the world today.”

Case in point: The spiraling costs of higher education. Those emerging adults are entering the workforce with massive student loans to pay off; no wonder some days all they can manage to do is Instagram bewildered-dog memes. “I have clients graduating from school with over $100,000 dollars worth of debt,” she says. “When you’re paying a mortgage’s worth of school debt every month, you’re probably going to need a little help stashing some money away in an emergency fund.”

Indeed, the most useful takeaways from my own brush with the adulting industry involved money management. Last fall’s challenge on budgeting included a chart for itemizing monthly breakdowns of expenses: so many dollars toward utilities, housing, food, clothing, and so on. After six months of following the chart I completed during the challenge, I managed to save up a sizable emergency fund of eight months’ worth of expenses--not bad for a freelance writer who graduated college with $250 to his name, and well worth the $5 I paid for the course itself.

The class was theirs. But the experience was all mine. And with my savings in order, I was freed up to stash excess cash in an additional account my wife and I hold to save for a future home down payment. With a house on the horizon, we’ve recently turned our attention to the prospect of having children sooner rather than later.