#is trying to work their way back into our lives and throwing a fit cause we won't let them because they've threatened and tried to kill us

[morgynemberisagenderfluiddaddy]

I have a migraine 🤪

[jarofstyles]

Illicit

Hello my loves! Welcome to the first part of our next mini series we've been working on behind the scenes. The next 2 parts are available immediately on Patreon now, but will be updated here in the next few weeks!

Patreon

Warnings- cheating ( WITH y/n), Asshole Harry, I hate everyone but her, old money/wealth, toxic relationship dynamic, harry is mean and will be mean but not to Y/N lmao, smut

WC- 2.4k

------------

Harry had just finished cleaning himself of cum as his phone rang. 

It was his girlfriend. ‘Girlfriend’, really, because this wasn’t a real relationship. Not in his mind, anyways. 

“What?” His voice was a sharp whip, already annoyed that the post orgasm bliss had been interrupted by Katherine. Y/N was sitting next to him, her leg thrown over his thigh as fingers traced over his chest, absentminded circles pausing when she heard his attitude already. Her brow raised as he lifted the phone to show the name on the screen, making her nod, lips turning down. That irritated him further. 

“When are you coming to get me?” A voice that pierced his ears made him close his eyes, a dull throb beginning to coast down his head. “Daddy said you’re coming to the event and you were going to pick me up!” 

She was huffing like a child, not wanting to wait. Realistically, he would leave in 30 minutes. Y/N would stay curled up in his bed and wait for him to come home before he took her away to one of his family cabin’s with the rest of their friend group- the ones who knew of him and Y/N. He would spend the entire night trying to think of an excuse to get back to her early, and hoping Katherine wouldn’t throw a fit about not being able to come on this ‘business trip’.  

“You live with your father. Could you have not shared a ride?” His tone was icy, something Y/N had never been the recipient of. Thank god, really. As sexy as it was to hear him talk like that to other people, it would definitely make her cry. The man was intense, even he knew that, but not everyone seemed to catch on. 

“Hazza! Come on.” She whined. “He already left and stopped by the office. I’m getting ready now but we have to be early for the photos!” As if that was going to help her cause. It was like the girl had a handbook on how to say the wrong things. 

Harry didn’t do those stupid step and repeats. While Katherine loved being the center of attention, it wasn’t something Harry desired. In actuality, he detested it. He hated paparazzi and had broken 2 cameras from having them in his face without a second glance. No aggression, the picture of calm with pure ice on his face as he did so. If they valued their possessions, they shouldn’t be shoving them in people’s way. That’s what he thought, at least. 

“I’ll be there in an hour. I’m not doing those photos. I don’t care what you do. Now stop calling me when I'm in the middle of things. You know if I don’t answer once, wait for further instruction.” He paused. “And stop calling me that childish nickname. I don’t find it cute or endearing, it’s embarrassing. Goodbye.”

There was a sharp squeak as he hung up the phone and threw it to the ground, rolling Y/N around onto her back and sliding his still sticky cock back inside of her yet again. His annoyance was clear on his face, but it quickly melted away as her arms wrapped around him and her lips covered his face with soft coos, legs pulling him in deeper. Maybe she was a bit sore, maybe his last load was still dripping out of her messy hole, but she knew exactly how the man needed to express himself. 

“I know.” Her silky voice wrapped around his tension and broke it down, slow thrusts inside of her quelling the bubbling irritation in his stomach and turning it into arousal. Y/N could read his stone cold features, knew what his eye twitch meant, the simple movement of a brow or the tiniest down or upturn of lip. This magnificent woman seemed to have him all figured out, and he felt like shit for having to leave and be seen with another woman. “I know, baby. Only a few more months.” Fingers stroked his hair back, guiding his lips to her own.

 He kissed her back, eyes squeezing shut as he allowed himself to lose the anger that had developed by focusing on her. The heat of her cunt wrapped up tight around him, snug. Fitting him perfectly, just as it always had. Y/N was the one he had wanted to take to these things, but he had to wait. For once, his patience wasn’t being practiced. 

The best thing in his life had to be hidden from most people, all because he had taken a stupid deal. He had to go out with the girl who thought she was going to be the next Mrs.Styles, while all he wanted to do was stay nestled in his luxury sheets with Y/N’s soft, supple body to worship. 

It was all his fault, though. 

He had always been ambitious. Ruthless, some may say, but he knew that to a degree he could be cruel to get what he wanted. That was how had been raised. His father had put that right into his head, doing anything for success, power, money… that’s how he ended up in this situation. 

In order to secure the deal of a lifetime, he had agreed to date the man’s daughter. Maybe that sounded cruel, but he knew the intentions from the get go. The man was using his conventionally pretty, high society daughter to try and sweeten the deal- but he knew the true motivation. An attempt to get him into the family and continue having control of the company through his daughter’s supposed relationship with him. If only he had been smarter, if he had done more research. He would know he was sending a sacrificial lamb right into Harry’s awaiting lion jaws. 

See, she had been no stranger to him. Katherine had been after him for quite a while. They were acquainted to a certain degree, running in similar circles and society dinners. The crush, more so the obsession she had with Harry had been no secret to anyone. She claimed to have been in love with him, but Harry knew what it truly was. A lust for money. An infatuation with the power he could secure her. She loved what Harry could represent for her, not only to secure place in the society she had been thrown into as she grew up- but to elevate it. She knew the score, knew what Harry’s ring could mean. 

Katherine knew nothing of his true personality, his likes, his dislikes, his jokes. All of those things were reserved for the tiniest selection of people that she only knew of in passing. His real friends barely touched that superficial, vapid, bitter world. Katherine’s family was new money, looking to secure their place in society. Harry’s wealth went in decades, and it would most likely stay that way. Her vying for his attention didn’t shock him in the slightest. 

The condition of dating Katherine for at least a year had been one he had wanted to scoff at, one he had wanted to tell Mr. Eugene Brant that it would be obvious what it was, but he was smart enough to bite his tongue and agree. Playing stupid was a superpower, letting him think he got one over on Harry and vastly overestimating his daughter’s appeal. One year of being toted around with her overly big smile and his signature scowl on his face hadn’t been an issue. It was something he would merely go through the motions of until the exact year was up and she would be out of his life. 

At least, it hadn’t been until he met Y/N. 

The first woman who had ever captured his heart and soul. Softened the edges of his razor sharp glare.

She hadn’t wanted to give him the time of day once she realized he had been flirting whilst not single. She hadn’t known the deceptive relationship and it hadn’t been her fault, but that didn’t mean Harry was going to leave well enough alone. Even after she had dumped her  Shirley temple on his brand new pure cotton button up. 

If anything, it made him want her more. 

One thing about Harry? He was going to get what he wanted. He would bet anything on it. He was patient, stubborn, and fixated. Checking guest lists to see if she’d be in attendance to parties, see if she was going to hang out with his friend group, he was on the prowl to get her to talk again. 

She had blocked his number already- he didn’t really have a chance to explain. He understood why, but that didn’t mean he was going to give up. 

When he finally did have the shot to tell her the relationship was a hoax, she was still doubtful. Dubious looks sent his way as he had pulled them into a private room of the club they were at- one his father owned, funnily enough- his hand holding hers as he sat beside her to plead his case. He was strong and defiant, insisting that it was a means to an end and there was no clause saying he couldn’t date other people- but he would like to get to know her on a real level. 

Against her better judgment, Y/N had fallen for the soft green eyes, the soft looking lips with the sharp cupid's bow and his even sharper tongue. Giving him one date was all he needed to get her on board. 

Fidelity wasn’t a term in the contract he had signed. Stupid, stupid mistake on Brant’s part. A new money, no lawyer to look over, a hasty mistake that would most definitely come to bite him in the ass. Harry hadn’t honored fidelity in the slightest even before he met Y/N. Sex was an outlet for him, as was the gym, things that were pleasurable and stress relieving. He’d only slept with Katherine a handful of times, tapering that off when he saw it made her get more and more attached. She had obviously known Harry had a reputation and while the sex had been alright, there hadn’t been much to his benefit besides the fact that she swallowed his load. 

Surprisingly, it wasn’t that hard to find willing participants. 

Sex with Y/N had completely rocked his world. He thinks, in part, it was because they had a real connection. She made him wait, she made him work his way up to that if he wanted- and made him stop sex with anyone else. As if he had any interest in anyone else. Y/N had taken up the majority of his brain that wasn’t filled with revenue and contracts and contacts and emails. She was his escape. 

The first time they had sex, Harry had fallen for her. There was no question in his mind. Despite being positive that he wouldn’t ever marry for love, Y/N had him questioning that. She had flipped his entire world view upside down, made him weak in the knees. 

Y/N wasn’t in the public eye. Her family had some elite ties, but she was friends with a lot of the quietly wealthy people who didn’t feel the need to showcase it to everyone who looked with tacky labels and monograms. She’d gotten into one of the best schools, gotten her degree and continued her friendship with her roommates and best friends- who just happened to be the girlfriends of some of his best mates. The real ones. There were only a few single members of the groups, and Y/N had been the new blood that had people wondering. Harry had been interested immediately. 

It was about 4 months into their relationship and everything still felt fantastic. Y/N knew more about Harry than anyone else ever could. She was the one with the key to the future, even if she didn’t know the exact depths his feelings went to. 

“I don’t want to go.” His lips parted from hers. “I want to stay here… want to stay buried inside of you, want to feed you your chocolate and lick it from your tongue.” Inhaling his words, she moaned as his hips rolled and he found his home back at her most sensitive spot. He had spent hours finding it, claiming it, and he knew it was his. “Spent all week working… I just want my sweet Angel.”

Noses brushed against one another, Y/N’s bleary eyes opening up to look at his own. Hazy, dark green, hooded. She gently dragged her nails over his shoulder blades, arching up into him and pressed a bit harder on the skin to make him moan in surprise. “You have me, Harry.” She whispered. “You have me now. Leave with my traces on your cock… then come back and take more. We leave tomorrow… and you can hold me how you like. Kiss me. Our friends don’t care. They’ll keep our secret.” Even if it was forbidden, their tight knit group knew exactly what the relationship between Harry and Katherine really was- and none really liked her. They knew Y/N made him happy, softened him up, they’d all been rooting for this. Their safe space. The only ones who knew. 

“She won’t ever have me.” He reassured. “I’m yours. I want your marks on me.” Breathing harder, his thrusts getting a bit more deep. “Make me bleed. C’mon, my sweet girl. Paid for those nails… give me what I want.” Her cunt quivered around his prick, making him smile. She pretended not to like that sort of thing, but she got them done specifically for this. To quench his thirst for pain, for marks. They loved it. “She’ll never have me like this. I’m yours.” He whimpered, the freak of the bed and their noises filling the room. “M’yours, baby. My sweet Angel… stay in my bed and wait for me. I’ll give you everything. Just wait for me.” 

She would. She would wait for him, to be his fully, as long as it took.

[leclercss]

Paris, je t'aime (Charles Leclerc),

a Tainted Love sequel

Masterlist

plot: it's almost three years since your tumultuous relationships with Lewis and Charles came crashing down. but you find your self in a new city with new beginnings and new ways to fuck up your love life. that's no thanks to a cheeky frenchman who's set you up on a double date with someone oh so familiar.

pairings: charles leclerc x fem!reader

warnings: (+18) mentions of smut, cheating and some swearing

authors note: our amours are back. hope you enjoy this sequel featuring our fave Monegasque.

word count: 4.3k

taglist: @toppersjeep @janeholt3, @princess-siba, @nichmeddar

"Pierre, I just don't get why you can't show me his picture?" you whine, throwing your head back against the sofa. Clearly you need to work on your negotiation (or blackmailing) skills because you've not made a dent in changing Pierre's mind.

"Because, [Y/N], I don't trust you this time. I've seen your love life, if you can even call it that, in the last six months. It's nothing short of embarrassing and from what I've witnessed, I know who the problem is," Pierre retorts.

You snort at Pierre's response. This man doesn't given a fuck and you do your best to not throw a cushion at his face.

"And what do you mean by that?"

"What I mean, [Y/N], is I've seen you make out with random guys in clubs, ugly ones by the way, who you either sleep with or have to spend the rest of the night hiding from. You're also useless when it comes to Tinder. You either fall in love with their pictures, match, have about a two minute conversation with and then ghost them entirely or you spend five minutes analysing everything that is wrong with them."

"That's no true," you growl.

It's Pierre's turn to snort. "Oh, it is! And if you do end up chatting to someone half normal, you just get drunk and show them pictures of your ex husband's dog".

This time you couldn't control yourself and so you launch the cushion at Pierre's head. Your aim clearly needs some work as you miss his head by about half a meter and hit the lamp above his head, causing it to hit against the wall.

"Right, you two! That's enough," you hear a voice yell from the other room. You look over your shoulder and see Pierre's girlfriend, Kika, storm into the living room.

"He started it," you cry out before shooting Pierre some daggers which earns a kick from Pierre.

"I don't care who started it. I care about ending it," Kika growls as she throws herself onto the sofa opposite then one you and Pierre are occupying.

Silence falls onto the living room but only for a few moments before you look at Pierre again, continuing your previous argument. "Pierre, I don't get why you can't just tell me anything about him".

Pierre, aware of the daggers he's receiving from Kika, simply rolls his eyes.

"Ugh, fine! Kika, can you please talk to Pierre?" you plead as you turn your attention to Kika.

She sighs at you, defeated. "I've tried, [Y/N]," she replies. "But Pierre has made some good points".

You narrow your eyes at her, "Traitor."

Pierre can't keep contain himself as he erupts into a fit of laughter. Annoyed, you return the kick that he gave you earlier which results in a loud cry from Pierre.

"Hey! We're the ones trying to help you out here," Pierre laughs as he rubs his shin, tender from your kick.

"I didn't ask for your help," you grunt, throwing you arms across your chest in frustration. You catch Kika in the corner of your eye trying to hold back a smirk.

"Spit it out, Kika!"

Both Pierre and Kika look at each other, exchanging a little chuckle, before you friend gives you a polite reality check.

"Well, we're in Paris, the city of love. And well, your love life since we've met you has been, putting it nicely, tragic. So Pierre and I thought that as your friends in this new city, we would take the trouble out of your hands for you when it comes to love," she politely tells you.

Pierre snorts again, "Nah, Kika. It's called an intervention".

You look around you to find any other cushions you can throw at Pierre but realise that you've thrown all cushions within reaching distance at his head already.

The truth is that, as hurtful as it may be, Pierre and Kika were right. Your love life since moving to Paris ten months ago has been pathetic. In fact, it's been pathetic for the last three years, ever since you had ended both your marriage to Lewis and your relationship with Charles.

Your intention at the time was to only end your relationship with one of them and in your heart and mind, you were going to end your marriage with Lewis. And that was what you did. Despite his last ditch attempts of rekindling your marriage and relationship, you had declined Lewis' offer to leave your life in London behind and join him in New York City.

An offer like that earlier on in your marriage would have been tempting but after yourself and Lewis both agreed to open up your marriage, and before all of the walls came tumbling down, you realised that whenever Lewis was close to losing you he would pull out all of the stops to become the husband you wanted and needed.

He'd done it throughout your relationship. Once Lewis smelt danger or felt vulnerable, he loved bombed you to the point where you fell in love with him all over again. Telling you everything you needed to hear and throwing you grand gestures like a proposal, a new puppy, extravagant gifts, monogamy (looking back, that one was laughable) and finally offering you a new life in the bright lights of New York City. And when he was sure that you wouldn't leave him and were fully committed, he'd go back to the Lewis of old - doing as he pleased without any questions or consequences. That was until Lewis pushed you too far, he'd tested you one too many times during your "open marriage" and pushed you into the arms of another man, Charles.

In a totally unplanned and spontaneous night out, you had met Charles and the two of you had clicked instantly. Charles was the only person that ever led you to doubt your marriage and relationship with Lewis. You developed a relationship which led to you falling in love with one another. It was very real and very serious. He gave you the love and fulfilment you had long yearned for. He was worth leaving your husband for and you were so ready to do that.

That was until Lewis' offer of moving to New York came about. You didn't want to move to New York. It may have been a dream once but not in those circumstances. Not after you'd already taken off your wedding and engagement rings and told your husband you were ready to move on in your life. This was Lewis' next step in life, not yours.

You were free from your marriage and you could continue your relationship with Charles but something weird happened. It all fell apart one night when you went to see Charles at his flat after you had told Lewis that you wouldn't be moving with him. Your intentions were to tell Charles that you were all his and you could finally start to build a real life together.

However, that’s not what happened. You couldn’t get the idea of leaving London with Lewis out of your head. Even in separation the man couldn’t leave you alone. He was in your mind as you spoke to Charles, kissed Charles and even when you made love to Charles that night. Something deep down was telling you that instantly starting a life with Charles just days after separating from your husband of five years wasn’t the right thing for you.

You needed time to mourn your marriage but also to figure out who you really were. You had been in a relationship since you had moved to London at 21 and had never gotten to explore adulthood and your twenties on your own. And just maybe, you needed a little bit of time to be you.

But that’s not how it went down, or how you had tried to communicate it to Charles. After you and Charles had finished having sex, Charles started a conversation about your relationship and mentioned the possibility of moving in together. You guys were in love and it made sense.

But you freaked out, confessing to Charles that Lewis was going to New York and had asked for you to go with him. And when Charles had asked you want you had wanted to do, you froze.

Fuck, why did you have to freeze? You already told Lewis no but why couldn’t you tell Charles that?

You realised over time it was because that you were unable to tell Charles that while you had said no to Lewis, you needed to be on your own for a while. And how could you tell Charles that after he had made love to you and confessed his loved to you once more?

And so when you struggled to find your words, Charles took it as a yes and that in fact you were moving to New York, leaving him behind. You were ending things with him to be with a husband who treated you poorly.

And when you did begin to find your words, Charles didn’t believe you despite the fact that you had already removing your wedding ring. He was fed up. He’d been humiliated by you and Lewis to one too many times and so he asked for you to leave.

You obeyed and left his apartment. Too hurt and stubborn to speak to one another, you both waited for the other to reach out. A text, a call, something to let the other know that this was stupid and you wanted to be together. But that text, call or something never came. And so you and Charles never spoke again.

Not long after you and Charles ended things, a position in work opened up in Singapore. With nothing meaningful thing you to London any more aside from your best friend Whitney, you applied for it. You were successful and so within a few moments you moved to Singapore for two years.

You finally got your new life and spent the last of your twenties in an amazing city. You even had a few casual, no strings attached situationships. But as you turned 30, you began to miss being closer to home and so you moved back to Europe, this time settling in Paris.

You enjoyed the city and while Paris was famed for being romantic and the city of love, your experience so far had been anything but. Which is why you were here now, letting your new friends Pierre and Kika salvage whatever love life they could manage for you.

You had grown close to them over the past few months. You had met Kika in work and over time she took you under her wing. You hadn’t told Pierre and Kika everything though about your life in London. They knew you were divorced from Lewis and that you had an open marriage got wrong but you had never told them about Charles. How could you even begin to explain that you had fallen in love with someone that wasn’t your husband and then, when you finally had the chance to be with him, you chickened?

No, you couldn’t tell them about Charles. It still hurt you when you thought about how things ended between you. With a heavy heart, you still valued your relationship with him and looked back with fond memories. Charles was still very special and important to you. And so, that was one story you wanted to keep close to your heart.

“Can you just give me a name? Not even a name, just the first letter of his name?”

You were back to whining at Pierre and Kika, begging for any details about this mystery guy that they’d set you up on a blind date with. So far, the only details you had gotten out of them was that you were going out with a guy this Friday night.

As Kika went to open her mouth, feeling a little sorry for you, Pierre flashed her a look.

“Kika, don’t! I know what you girls are like. One sniff of a detail about a man and you girls give the FBI a run of their money, Pierre cried. “No, you’re just going to have to shut up and wait until Friday to meet him”.

Finally accepting defeat, you sighed and rested back against the sofa. Pierre wasn’t giving in this time. With last fight in you, you looked over at Pierre and mumbled,

“Did I ever tell you how much I hated you, Pierre?”

“Yes, everyday”.

-

It was finally Friday and you still didn’t have a single detail or idea about the man you were meeting for dinner. For all you knew, he could be Timothée Chalamet. Pierre and Kika had given you nothing.

Despite withholding all information about this guy, the did feel bad for you and so had brought you out for a drink before you date to calm the nerves. Just one drink, Pierre had said, they didn’t need you showing pictures of Roscoe to another innocent soul.

As you sat in a Parisian bar, you began to bounce your legs up and down, anything to calm you while you waited for 8pm to arrive. With a quick look at your phone, you saw that it was only 6:30pm.

Shit!

You were going to need more than one drink if you were going to get through the next ninety minutes. You were halfway through your first Aperol Spritz but you’d need about two more if you were going to be any fun tonight.

“Can you stop bouncing your legs please? It’s incredibly annoying,” Pierre spat.

Kika, being the peace maker gently placed a hand on your knee to prevent you from causing any annoyance or, in the way Pierre was carrying on, preventing you from causing an earthquake.

You loved Pierre, but the two of you behaved like siblings much to Kika’s despair. The two of you constantly bickered and found ways to annoy one another but did deep the two of you were close and had a solid friendship.

“Children, please,” Kika groaned. As she took a quick look at her phone, you took the opportunity to flash Pierre the middle finger.

Another fifteen minutes had passed and you weren’t any less nervous about this date. While you had been on dates before, it was your first blind date. And while you had faith in Pierre and Kika’s taste, you wouldn’t put it past Pierre to drag Quasimodo down from the Notre Dame and bring him to a Parisian restaurant for your date.

Feeling bad that he’d been taunting you for days, Pierre felt like it was time to give you some reassurance.

“I don’t know why you’re so worried, [Y/N]. Despite being a pain in my side, you’re catch. You’re a good looking girl. You’re funny and smart. You’ve lived in four countries, I mean there’s so much to talk about,” Pierre says as he places a second Aperol Spritz in front of you.

You flash him a grateful smile.

“He’s right! You’ve got so much going for you, [Y/N]. Plus your boobs look great in that dress,” Kika added. “And he already things you’re hot”.

Your eyes nearly pop out of your head. “Wait, what? He’s already seen a picture of me”.

Pierre flashes Kika a look of what the fuck did you say that before accepting a small defeat.

“Yes, he’s seen a picture of you. And before you tell me how that’s not fair, he’s not a freak like you two”.

“But Pierre,” you begin but Pierre wags his finger out you.

“No. I’m not hearing it,” Pierre says.

Great, out of the four of you, you’re the most clueless about your date.

“Fine, if you won’t tell me anything about him, can you at least tell me what he said when you showed him a picture about me?”

Exhaling, Pierre nodded. “Sure, he pretty much grabbed my phone out of my hand when I showed him your picture. He seemed pretty into it, wanted to see more photos. Asked how we knew you, wanted to know as much about you as he could.”

“Oh, and you told him everything right?”

Pierre chuckled. “Not everything. Didn’t tell him that you were divorced by 30. I thought that it’d be funny for you to do that on your own”.

You thanked Kika as she hit Pierre for you.

“Sorry. That was harsh. He was interested in what happened in your last relationship though. If it’s any consolation, I’ve had to intervene in his love life too. It’s almost as tragic as yours,” Pierre continued.

You frowned at him. “What do you mean by that?”

“Well,” Pierre hesitated. “He was in a relationship about three years ago. Things were pretty serious but suddenly things changed. There were talking about moving in together but one day, she told him she was thinking about getting back with her ex. They had an argument and didn’t speak after that. The last he heard through a friend was that she had left the country to start a new life.”

A weird feeling of deja vu suddenly hits you. The story sounding very similar to your own. Except that you didn’t get with Lewis. You pause before asking, “Did she get back with the ex?”

“I think so,” Pierre answered. “Either that or she was a snake who used her ex as an excuse to end things with Charles”.

You feel your blood run cold as Pierre accidentally drops the name of your date.

“What did you say his name was?” you ask, making sure you’re not hearing things.

“Merde, I can’t believe I dropped his name at the last hurdle,” Pierre groaned, burying his head in his hands.

You mind was racing a million miles an hour. Surely this was just a coincidence. There was thousands of Charles' in Paris, let alone in France. And what were the odds of Pierre knowing your Charles? And a Charles who had the same break up story as your Charles? No, this couldn’t be it.

“Are you okay, [Y/N]? You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” Kika asks.

You force a light-hearted laugh before taking a sip of your Aperol Spritz.

“I’m all good, thanks. Just worried that Pierre is going to go into a downward spiral now that his plan of keeping this Charles a secret has failed,” you joked. But deep inside you were freaking out.

What if this was Charles? You weren’t sure if you were ready to see him. Even though it had been three years since things had ended, it still hurt you to think about your relationship. Even three years later, you knew you still loved him. But what about Charles? Did he still love you? Or did he hate you? According to Pierre’s story, he still seemed bitter about this break up with his ex.

“It’s a good thing you don’t have time to go through Instagram and find him then, you’ve got to leave for your date in fifteen minutes,” Pierre reminds you.

Shit.

This was really happening wasn’t it? You were going to see Charles finally after all these years.

Or maybe you were just being dramatic, maybe this was just a weird, fucked up coincidence.

“Whatever you do, [Y/N], just don’t break my Charlie’s heart, eh? He’s had to fuck his way through dozens of women just to get over her,” Pierre teases.

“Pierre,” Kika squeals, “You can’t tell her that before she meets him”.

But Pierre’s comment goes over your head. Charles’ fucking lots of girls was the least of your worries.

-

You’re the first one to arrive and the wait is excruciating. You have a look at your phone 8:03pm.

Fuck, it’s been the longest three minutes of your life.

You’re not sure if you want to look at the entrance and see who walks through the door or if you want to keep your head down and pray for the ground to swallow you whole. Right now, the second option feels preferable.

As another minute passes, your phone lights up. It’s a text from Pierre into your group chat with Kika:

Bonne chance! And if we don’t hear back from you by the end of the night, either my friend is a serial killer or you’re 🍆👉🏼🕳️💦

As disgusting as Pierre’s text is, you’re grateful that your mind is occupied for a few moments as you text a:

You’re disgusting 🤮

Once you send your text, you place your phone back down on the table and put your head in your hands, praying for a miracle.

“I’ve thought about what it would be like if I ever saw you again,” it’s a familiar voice coming from behind you, “But I’d never have guessed that it would be the two of us being set up on a blind date”.

Your head shoots up and you turn to the direction of the voice. It’s him. It’s Charles. Your Charles.

“I…,” you begin but that’s all you’ve got. You’re just sitting there with your mouth agape.

Charles smiles at you, he’s much more composed and prepared than you are. How could he not be when he knew long ago that it was you that Pierre was trying to set him up with? He’s probably had days if not weeks to prepare for seeing you in person again.

He takes a few steps towards you before taking your hand in his. Just like the last time, he takes your left one, moving it towards him. He smiles at your hand.

No rings this time around, he thinks to himself before placing a delicate kiss onto your skin.

You feel your cheeks redden at his touch and whatever feelings you’ve harboured for him over the last three years all come rushing back. His touch still feels the same, delicate but purposeful.

He gently lets go of your hand before taking the seat opposite you. You’re still shell shocked that he’s actually here, which is why you can only muster up a, “Hi.”

Charles laughs to himself a little.

“Hi, [Y/N]”.

It falls silent between the two of you. Charles gives you the space to figure out what the fuck is going on while he flicks through the menu for a drink.

You take the opportunity to take in his appearance. He looks good, if not better than the last time. His face is slightly more mature and he’s let his moustache and stubble grow a little longer this time. He’s a little bulkier, clearly he’s been lifting more weights in the gym. His hair looks the same, long and silky. And he’s sporting a tan thanks to the French summer. He dresses better than he did before.

Charles smiles as he’s reading the menu, clearly aware that your eyes are fixated on him, glancing over every inch of his body that you can see. He looks up from the menu and looks at you, still smiling. He’s confident in himself, he knows he’s in control and he seems to be enjoying it.

Embarrassed that you’ve been caught staring, you clear throat and decide to speak your first words of the date.

“Ho-How are you? You look good,” you manage to squeak out.

Fuck, that was embarrassing. Is that it?

Charles chuckles to himself once more before it’s his turn to eye you up. His eyes take in your loose curls that are falling delicately over your shoulders. Your face looks the same, no difference to the last time he saw you. Still so beautiful. You’re rocking a summer tan too. And as for your body, well your breasts look incredible in that peach fitted dress. You didn’t look good, you looked phenomenal.

“I’m good. And you? You’re looking good too but I’m not surprised,” Charles replies.

You blush a little at his comment. “Yeah, I’m fine”.

Taking one last look at the menu, Charles closes it before looking at you. Giving you his full attention.

“How long ago did you find out that it was me you were going on a date with?”

“Erm, about- about thirty minutes ago,” you stutter.

Charles shakes his head. “Fucking Pierre,” he mutters to himself.

“How- how long ago did you know it was me?” you ask ever so quietly.

“About three weeks ago,” he watches for your reaction before continuing, “Look, I don’t want to do this here. And I’m sure you don’t want to do this here either. Let’s go back to my place”.

Without even thinking, you nod. And as Charles stands up from his chair, he puts his hand out for you to hold. His touch is so warm. He smiles at you softly before leading you out of the restaurant into the warm Summer evening.

He’s still holding your hand as he waves down a taxi. As you climb inside, Charles’ hand finds his way to your thigh as he gives his address to the taxi driver.

You can’t help but look at his hand on your thigh. It all feels so surreal. He’s being so nice to you after everything that happened and he’s going against everything that Pierre had said about Charles being hurt by an ex. But maybe Charles had changed, maybe he didn’t hate you that much after how things ended between the two of you.

As your drive through the Parisian streets, Charles’ hand remains on you thigh. And it’s Charles who breaks the silence between you.

“How was New York?”

Your head immediately turns towards him. His expression impossible to read. Confused, you answer him.

“Charles, I never went to New York”.

[thatfreshi]

Appreciate the Astarion works!!! 💙💙💙

If you'd like another request, what about Tav gifting him something that allows him to see his reflection? Idk some kinda spell/amulet/potion? They're already to the point where he feeds from them or in a relationship and he's just beyond touched/ shocked they would do something for him like this? (Bc we know he's not ever had the most kindness shown to him)

he's been living rent free in my head and I just want to give him everything his undead lil heart desires.

Recommended Song: Mirrorball - Taylor Swift

(I just started listening to her music and holy shit this song is so them!!!)

It's late, the perfect time of day for the two of you. You and Astarion and out in your backyard, putting out some new furniture that he haggled for today. It's hard to say no to that smile, you would know. As you move nice chairs around debating where you should put them, you get into a playful argument.

"I know you're like, the house decorator, but gods why can't we put it in this corner?"

"Because darling, it'll ruin the feng shui. We should put the chairs here instead, and keep the plants over here."

You roll your eyes.

"I bet you don't even know what feng shui means."

"I don't, but it sure sounds fancy doesn't it?"

You giggle.

"What, I'm laughable because I don't know one tiny phrase? I bet there are plenty of words you don't know."

"Well, I don't know them, so I'm not worried about them."

You saunter over to him, throwing your arms up around his shoulders, and the two of you stare at each other for a moment.

"You know our anniversary is tomorrow right?"

"How could I forget my sweet?"

"I don't know, maybe the way you forgot what feng shui means."

"Okay, ouch. But yes of course, I have wondrous plans for the two of us."

"Okay but you can't have that good of plans because I really need to make sure you don't one-up this."

You walk back into the house for a brief moment, grabbing a scroll out of your bag.

"When I walked away while we were at the market, because I said I got tired of hearing you argue with that old lady? Well, I found this."

You hold the scroll out, and he gently grabs it out of your hands.

"I tried to get Gale to teach me, but you know I'm not very magically inclined so..."

He unrolls the scroll, reading the scrawled writing.

"This is-"

You cut him off in excitement.

"Mirror image! I thought maybe you could use it to make a reflection of yourself."

He stares at the scroll in shock.

"How much did you pay for this?"

"None of your damn business."

You grin at him, knowing all too well that you paid that guy way too much.

"This is very sweet my dear, I... I don't know what to say."

"Well you don't have to say anything, try it!"

After reading for a moment, he goes to cast the spell. He says a few words that go right over your head, and suddenly there were three more Astarions in your backyard.

"Gods!"

Astarion's cry of shock echoed through, all four of him? You're not quite sure how this works. After getting his bearings, Astarion looks around at his three reflections.

"Wow, this is certainly... wow."

You're so excited, you can finally show him all the little details you like about him, he gets to see how gorgeous he is, the list goes on and on.

"Okay, I have to do something funny, because I NEED you to see your little laugh lines. Hm..."

He furrows his brow at you, wondering what you're planning. And then you tickle his sides, causing an eruption of laughter.

"Quick, look!"

As he's still smiling, he catches a glimpse of one of the reflections, the little crow's feet he gets when he laughs.

"Oh, that was so important you had to attack me? If anything they make me look old."

"Well... you are kinda old."

He playfully pushes your shoulder. After the two of you quiet your laughter, he stands staring at one of the reflections, taking it all in. The eyes, the hair, trying to remember what he used to look like.

"What do you think?"

"I think... I think it's fitting."

He snarls to look at his fangs. Astarion has never seen just how menacing he can be, why people listen to him when he's threatening. You don't see anything scary though. Maybe you used to, long long ago. But now, he's just Astarion. That's all he has to be.

"This red really is quite bright."

He says, commenting on his eyes.

"Yeah, they're nice though. Piercing."

"At least my hair looks as good as I think it does. All my efforts haven't been wasted."

And just as fast as they came, the reflections vanish, fading out of existence. It's just the two of you again.

"Damn, I thought it would last a little longer."

You frown a little, wondering if it was really worth it. Astarion catches your glance, realizing your doubt. He tilts your chin up and cups your face in his hand.

"Even if it was short, it was a wondrous gift darling. I appreciate it, truly. Besides, now I know what kind of handsome devil you've ended up with."

"Yeah, trust me, I know."

You wrap yourselves up in each other, locking lips, somehow sharing your gratitude for each other in kisses. He gets a little handsy, and you jokingly whisper to him.

"Should've done this with the reflections."

He laughs quietly.

"Oh hush."

You end the evening tangled up in each other, and he seems to be more sure of himself than usual. Turns out seeing yourself after two hundred years can do something for the ego. Maybe one day, you'll find a more permanent soluton, but for now, one little scroll is enough. He's enough. You're both enough, as long as you have each other.

[casablancarossa]

Please Amore.

<< a taemin x reader story>>

asdfghjkl; I'm fine seriously. Totally have recovered(?) No I have not been sitting on this fic for a while.

Pairings : Taemin x female!reader Genre: Smut. Content Warning : 18+, Minors DNI, Yeah it is smut okay?! Synopsis: You missed a side of Taemin. The non-gentle side of Taemin. And you are hellbent in seeing it. Authors Note: Seem I am incapable of writing anything short? So here ya go darlings. Another long read of Taemin torturing us.

You relaxed back into your seat of the green room, watching through the monitor of Taemin's performance. He was breathless, sweating and positively oozing with 'fuck me' energy. Something about him performing Strings really stirred something in you where you couldn't control yourself around him. It was like a little drug in your system that craved being held by him, being right under him. A lump in your throat caused you to cough violently which caused the stylists and other stage staff to giggle at you a bit.

It was not a secret, at least to anyone in the industry that Taemin had been seeing someone since before enlisting in the army. Even eagle-eyed fans knew that the very song he was singing was on ode to someone he was seeing. If anything, Taemin was no stranger to releasing music that felt sinful but with such an angelic voice, it offered that duality that piqued the interest of fans.

Such a daring mixture to play Strings after Heaven too. It made you laugh how bold Taemin has been and it's something you needed him to let loose out on you. You wandered out of the green room so you could wander towards the side of the stage, wondering if you can take a peek through the equipment. Staff were running back and forth, making sure the the lighting underneath the tilted stage were still responding when the lights needed to be changed,

Taemin was not even halfway through his set list and he was already annoying you and you had to sit there and witness this man, not only ruin your life but as well as thousands of Shawols' lives too, purely by existing. You try not to even think about the stunt he pulled with Criminal. So early onto the concert too. That's right honey, destroy all our fucking underwear why don't you. Groaning, you ask the stage manager if you could borrow some items that could make you pass as stage staff so you could walk around top up Taemin's water bottle collection.

You were surprised when a stylist noona commented that you could probably fit into Taemin's regular clothes and go out unnoticed if you layer and pad yourself out. While jamming to Taemin singing his pretty little heart out, you rush back to the green room and throwing Taemin's clothes on and layering a thick hoodie on top of it all. His favourite cap laid on the makeup table. If I wear this, would he recognize it's me? You quickly grab the hat and tuck your hair in before the same stylist walked in with a black mask and glasses.

She comments how it might help and shield your face a bit more, understanding how fans might not take a random female stage staff too lightly, but also just in case you might get recognized in the future.

As you walk back to the side stage an ahjussi has prepared a staff lanyard for you and headphones. With this, you truly looked like you have been working as a stage staff the whole time. Euisoo saunters towards you, giving you water bottles to carry outside, commenting to keep your head down and try not to distract Taemin. He warned you knowing fully well, that while you may have no intention or plans or even attempts to distract him, he knows Taemin well enough that the mere sight of you, or your presence amongst the crowd sends the boy on frenzy and ends up distracting himself.

Taemin would finally have a chance to settle, get some water, not wanting to pull away from his adoring fans. He was so grateful for them and you admired how humble he was under the care, love and support Shawols have given him. You make your way out the hidden staff door under the stage so you could hug the walls of the platform, walking to the nearest water station and placing the bottles Euisoo had given to you.

The cold arena felt suddenly warm as Taemin walks towards where you were picking up a water bottle, crouching down. He surely couldn't have noticed you already did he? With your head down, you stand back, stepping beside one of the ground staff who were talking to Taemin through his earpiece. Idle babble of lighting, warning about various pyro and confetti explosions and adjusting sounds were going on. A supposed 15 minute conversation happened in less than a minute in your head, surprised by how efficient Taemin was communicating with the team while his mic was still on, giving hand signals for simple yes and no questions. All the while, he was staring you down every now and then while he conversed with the fans.

Of course he noticed you. He could pick you out from a line-up, while horribly wasted and half blind. Taemin also knew what you were like, how this side of him performing drove you insane. He was so happy to leave you accustomed to his chaotic childlike, puppy behaviour at home, that when he switches during performances or in bed, it felt like a bus had crashed into you from how sudden and unexpected it is.

You did only have yourself to blame, afterall you were the one with the pitiful request to let Taemin spare you from his sinful advances on a very regular and almost too frequent basis. As much as you adored the side of Taemin that you see in stage, with you, it felt like he had set the dial was at 100. Taemin was rough for sure, his dominant streak was what got you hooked and dear gods he was good at it too.

How on one occasion during his trip back home from the military, for a family dinner, Taemin had used the small kitchen to his advantage, brushing his hips against yours with a slight buck, whenever he needed something from the cupboard in front of you. How during a photo-op encouraged by his mom, caused him to delicately trail his fingers up and down your spine, which he knew sent you dizzy and breathless. Yes that is what Taemin loved to do to you, to tease you in public. While he may have enough self composure to not go wild, you however could not and by the wee hours of the night, you are begging, pleading and if it was in an empty house, probably screaming Taemin's praises.

But after one too many arguments, accusing Taemin that he only wanted you for your body, the quality of sex didn't necessarily die down, but the significant decrease meant that Taemin was more susceptible to being more casual, more tender and loving. It's no surprise to anyone, but Taemin was a cheesy romantic. He was the type to scatter rose petals in the bath tub when you had a long day. He was the type to quietly harass Kai, Jimin and Ravi to go to a spontaneous location he had picked mere minutes ago so he could take you there and by the time you two have arrived, Taemin's friends would be panting, breathless after quickly decorating a very elaborate and stocked picnic set-up.

At it's very core, it was all romantic and yes Taemin had no qualms in ravaging you in public, but nowadays it felt like Taemin no longer fucking you but made love to you instead, which was completely two separate things for you. You loved getting fucked by your boyfriend but you treasured being made love to even more.. It was heated and passionate without the frills and it was just the two of you with Taemin coveting your body like the goddess he deemed you to be. But you weren't an idiot or insensitive either, deep down more than ever you knew, Taemin craved that extra form of control, to have you be a broken mess under him, to have you be at every beck and call to his commands, not because you were scared but because you did enjoy it as much as he did.

Gods, how long have you been staring at him from the bottom of the stage? You were so lost in your thoughts that you had been functioning on auto-pilot for the last few minutes and if it weren't for the explosion during Danger, nothing would have snapped you out of it. From the corners of your eyes. you saw Euisoo gesture for you to rush towards him to the staff door. The manager, mentions something about outfit change and having Taemin upside down again and how your boyfriend might appreciate a comforting face for support.

"Wah, Lee Taemin, you were so cool out the there!", you exclaimed as you walk back into the green room.

There he was, your own personal Adonis, shirtless once more, holding his next outfit in his hands. Shocked that he wasn't dreaming that you were indeed wearing his clothes as you plop his hoodie on a sofa. "Were?" he cocked his brow at your statement.

"Are. Still are" you corrected yourself at his behest, stepping towards him as the stylists carefully take the mic pack away from his trousers, setting it aside. While yes it is their job to get the idol all dressed up and ready, you really did not need to see them get handsy on your man, despite them having literally the most purest of intentions. "Don't worry eonnies, I can dress him from here", you stated out loud, casting your eyes at the women as they remained while Taemin walked towards the changing screen to change in private, had they stayed in the room.

At your words, Taemin cracked a grin, looking back behind him. Is his girlfriend having a stand-off with his stylist noonas? The air was thick with tension and you couldn't have been anymore obvious that you wanted them out of the room. He offers a nod to one of the older stylists that it was okay. It wasn't your first rodeo in getting him ready. For the better part of 'Hard' promotions, Taemin had you chasing after him because he refuses to get his hair and makeup done properly after eating and mainly because he got distracted annoying Key about their 'couple bags'.

As soon as the doors closed and that you two were finally alone, Taemin, resumed getting undressed, hastily putting on the red outfit left behind consisting of some baggy pants and a very convoluted styled sweatshirt with dangling pieces of fabric and an overskirt to wear over his pants. Meanwhile, you had approached him with a puff sponge in one hand, already coated in product as you dab at his face gently, working the product in and trying to apply it evenly, lifting his chin so you could even out his jawline. Your fingers playful trickle down the side of his neck before wrapping them around the base, looking up at him with desires that could burn this room right now.

Taemin quickly grabbed your wrist, pulling them away from his neck, still holding on with a firm grip, his head lowered, just so his lips were mere millimetres away from each other. Before he could lean in to kiss you, your head darted back, avoiding his advances. You stumble backwards to walk towards the vanity. With a slight bend of your back and over the table, you dropped the sponge and picked up a lip tint this time, carefully applying it to yourself with your fingers without contaminating the applicator.

You watched through the mirror as your partner's eyes had darkened, watching you bent over any surface, watching your finger carefully swipe against your plush bottom lip before biting them, as your siren eyes lure him even so slightly. You played coy as you rested both of your hands on the desk to keep yourself up while jutting out your backside for Taemin's viewing pleasure. Your hands carelessly tousled through your hair before hiding a devilish grin behind them as they cascade to frame your face.

How is it, not a word has been uttered between the two of you and yet so much was said. You were trying to play with fire and Taemin was not pleased by your actions. He lets out a little cough to break the silence, making his way towards you. One hand grip at the backrest of a chair that was standing beside you, he carefully lifts to tilt it forward an inch before slamming the back legs down to catch your attention, almost making your jump in your spot.

Your body effortlessly sway and sit down on the seat Taemin had moved, your eyes were more alert, constantly staring at the dark haired boy through the mirror. His tongue clicks, before standing right behind you, his eye were barely peeking through his fringes. You didn't like it when you couldn't see his eyes. Usually they were the first giveaway of what emotions he was feeling at a given moment. "Hands clasped behind the chair", he orders.

You struggle at his words, they sounded a bit darker and lustful. "We don't have much time, amore",

With a nod, your hands finds themselves clasped together, your eyes never leaving the sight of him. You wanted to take it all in, you wanted to see the switch, the dial up past 100. Taemin's hands rest on your shoulders, lightly massaging them as they make they way towards the nape of you neck. Taemin quickly rustled through his pockets taking out a lengthy red fabric, arranging it accordingly before wrapping it around your eyes, doing a loose knot behind your head.

It wasn't long before his fingers thread through your hair, clasping a fistful and pulling your head back. You normally would have let out a pained mewled but Taemin didn't give you a chance as his lips crashed down onto yours, feverishly kissing you while his spare hand roams your chest, carelessly grabbing at your breast, trying to push his digits past the bounds of your bra so he could pinch your nipple through your shirt.

His touch almost scalds you as quivers and squirm in his hands. God you craved his touch so much, you desperately sought out for his fiery skin against yours. You can already imagine how it would feel so nice to feel how soft his skin is, how it is hot to touch, how it smoothly glides against your own, every cell and fibre getting electrocuted at the intensity of it all. Damn clothes. Damn fucking clothes. You mewled more desperately into his kiss, silently pleading more.

As much as Taemin wanted to tease you, he couldn't resist. You could feel the back of your head hit what you assumed is his abdomen. His fistful grip never left your head, occasionally tugging at it, but not his other hand found your knee and with a swipe up towards your heated core, your legs had unconsciously spread open for him, his fingers trailing circles around your thighs. You found it hard to keep the grip on your own hand as you desperately wanted to touch him as well, to guide his hands where it mattered, but if you disobeyed him, he might not even touch you tonight.

The man's hands fumbled against his jeans which you were wearing and until there was enough give, he snaked his hand through the crotch area and began teasing your heated mound through the fabric of your underwear, eliciting a very audible gasp out of you. His lips were suddenly close to your ear, with heavy breathing. "Don't make a sound mi amore, they will hear how slutty you get", he teased.

You bit your lips trying to contain your voice, but it didn't help that Taemin was talented in finding your bundle of nerves, his finger pressing on it rhythmically and circling it around that cased your body to lean forward in pain. Taemin continued his pace before a teasing finger had pressed your underwear a little bit into you.

The sudden intrusion had cause your legs to almost snap shut, trapping Taemin's hands in between your thighs and it weren't for his growl, you would have followed through, but you focused so hard in keeping your legs spread, your thighs slightly convulsing after straining to stay open. Taemin rewarded your efforts by delicately manoeuvring his fingers to set aside your underwear and bury two fingers immediately into you, causing your body to lean forward even more, your lips spread almost silently screaming.

Taemin watched through the mirror as your body jolts here and there as his fingers relentlessly pumps into you, groaning at how your walls clenched around his digits, the only noise filling the room were subdued panting and squelching noises. "Don't you look pretty like this, mi amore", he asks pulling your head up by your hair.

What a stupid question. You were blindfolded, but you knew what he meant. He loved how easy it was for you to fantasize about what was happening to your whenever you were blindfold. As if you seeing yourself come undone by Taemin, helpless and needy, made you so much more wetter. "Amore..", you whimpered. "Please..."

Taemin let's out a sinister chuckle before whispering, "No". With his words, he pulled his fingers out quickly out of you and quickly grabbed the blindfold off you before rushing towards the door. You were so lost in the moment, you had not even realized there had been knocking voices for Taemin to get on the stage to get strapped in for the rotating platform.

Your look at yourself through the mirror wondering how the ever loving fuck did you look so dishevelled. A few baby coughs left your chest as you recollect yourself before standing up, finding it hard as a noticeable pressure has built up between your legs. Fucking Taemin, you are a dick, you thought to yourself before standing up to walk out of the room to see Taemin, already harnessed on and about to flipped for his entrance to 'Door'

As the concert continued, you stayed in the side-lines and watched Taemin perform, cheering quietly from where you were as to not disturb the staff who you already have probably annoyed tonight.

When it was time for another outfit change, Taemin hurried towards the sides, calling your name out repeatedly. The man stated out loud that you would be helping him get dressed again which caused the stylists to back down and giggle as his words caused an annoyed scowl plastered all over your face. His hands have a death grip around your wrists once more, rushing towards the room and giving the door a little slam. "Tae, you need to chill, people will definitely think we are about to fuck", you sighed as you stumble into the dimmed room.

"Fuck them" Taemin lets out a growl, a growl you know to well as his 'I'm horny and I'm angry growl'.

Before you could utter another word, Taemin grabs you by the shoulders, pushing you towards the makeup table, his hand roaming your sides and back as he plants a doozy of a kiss, forcing your lips apart with his tongue. It was like a familiar dance that you have found yourself in. He pushes you onto any surface and your automatic instinct is to sit on it, parting your legs to give room for Taemin to between them, while your arms are hooked on his shoulder, pulling him more into the kiss.

"Mmf--What. Am. I. Going. To. Do. With. You" Taemin groans, enunciating every word with a kiss, starting from your lips that trailed to your jaws then neck.

"Anything please. Everything." the words fell like a lump of nonsense and mumbles, but you were too focused on the fact that Taemin had nipped slightly on your neck.

Your pleading voice arouses him further, his hand snake up your body, tugging harshly onto the shirt you were wearing before lifting them up. You could see his eyes were filled with hunger seeing your breasts practically pooling out of your bra.

His lips began to pepper kisses along your chest before latching onto one of the mounds, sucking and biting on it, while his hands playfully massage them, flicking and pinching your nipples occasionally. "Tae wait.. if you keep doing that.. I can't help being loud" you gasped.

"Well then amore, hopefully you can control yourself" he winks up at you before sliding downwards kissing your stomach and placing tepid kisses on your hips.

His trip back up to kiss your lips was nothing short of sweet as he find the familiarity of stripping his jeans off you, picking up your hips so he could also include your underwear in the mix. The moment he heard the thud of the clothing hit the floor, Taemin spreads your legs once more and knelt in front of you with that darn devilish grin of his.

He makes the gesture of shh, placing a finger on his lips before using the same finger and slowly enter your core, causing you to whimper. Taemin chuckles to himself, knowing fully well that you were too bothered and sensitive to have the capacity of being silent. He pumps the lone finger, his head tilting from side to side so he could observe your face and body.

Your hips were bucking like you needed more, a small movement but it encouraged Taemin to add a second finger in, fully in motion of thrusting inside of you, twisting and spreading you to the best of his abilities. Once his fingers hook at a certain spot, he watches your head throw itself back, letting out a loud cough to cover your whimper.

You were seeing stars and your breathing had become so audible, you were convinced floor staff had heard you. You try to look down at your boyfriend pump his fingers into you unforgivingly but seeing the sight of him part his lips and envelop your clit was a sight to behold indeed.

Such sheepish licks, caused a shockwave through your body and all you could think of was trapping Taemin's head in your thighs as you grab his hair, trying to keep him down there until he finished you off.

You could feel the peak approaching as Taemin made good work of his mouth and fingers, making sure he savoured the taste of you while he was down there. But truly nothing could prepare you for Taemin immediately pulling away when you stated how close you were to bliss. Your body barely knew how to react as you let out a little cry, the sudden missing feeling of Taemin on you, made you tremble.

"Please Amore... that was mean.. " you panted, your vision settling to see he was in the midst of changing into the final lilac suit.

"Mean? What's mean is you not using your pretty little mouth"

You look up to see that Taemin had left the blazer and trousers unbuttoned and through his black boxers, perfectly outlined his erection. His body slumped back onto the sofa in the room, beckoning you to move towards him. He chuckles darkly as he watches you naked from the waist down and your shirt rolled upwards, resting on the slope of your breasts. "Here, just in case", he laughs once more, chucking a blanket scarf your direction.

You catch the item, roughly wrapping it around your waist , enough to cover your privates but thin enough to know you were bare under it. In a fluid motion, you crouch down to crawl towards Taemin, settling yourself between his legs. Your hands roam his thighs before meeting at the band of his boxers, sheepishly tugging it down until his dick had popped out, surprising you. "May I taste it... Sir?" your eyes lift ever so slightly.

As if it wasn't obvious from Taemin's hitched breath and the way his cock twitched, hearing you mewl your last word sent chills through his body. The last time you had called him that was the last time he acted as a dominant and where you finally argued with him about feeling like a sex toy rather than his girlfriend in bed. He doesn't recall being disrespectful but is fully aware that he gets in the zone too hard and would punish you equally as his previous bratty submissive partners.

Taemin carefully reaches forward, brushing your hair and holding it to a ponytail with a firm grip. His other hand cups your cheeks, his thumb tenderly brushes against your lips before using his hold on your hair to guide you closer to his aching member.

Without wasting time, your tongue darts out to lick from base to tip before opening your mouth to take him in. "F..fuck y/n"

You giggle despite having your mouth filled as you proceed to bob your head up and down, twirling your tongue and moaning. The vibrations and sensations overwhelm Taemin as his hips jerk upwards, causing your to gag a little. While it didn't deter you from continuing on, it was enough of a sign for him to use your mouth as he pleases.

Taemin roughens his grip on your hair, pushing you down as his hips thrust up. God he missed this. He missed fucking your face, hearing your stubborn coughs as you allow him to abuse your throat like this. He couldn't help notice how gorgeous you were like this. His obedient girl. Something primal triggered within him as he watches you remain strong willed to not pull away, noticing how strings of saliva had began dripping from the corners off your mouth. How he was fucking your mouth had become so messy with slight tears smudging your own makeup and how the slightest hint of your lipstick has tinted the base of his cock. Taemin lets out as hiss as you fully take him in with a pause letting the tip of his member rest at the back of your mouth.

Just because he denied you your orgasm, doesn't mean he doesn't get to finish. He internally swears he will make it worth it. He tries to shift in his seat, so he could lean forward to give a gratuitous slap on your ass as he keeps your head down on him. "Drink me up Amore.. " he grunts every word with a thrust, picking up the pace.

It didn't take long before he mewls your name, coughing and using whatever articles of clothing to dampen the sound escaping his lips. You could feel string after string as Taemin fills up your mouth with his cum. You lap it all up, making sure not one drop is wasted as you lean back to an upright position sitting on your knees.

Taemin lets out a few more coughs, trying to collect himself, panting heavily as he smirks at you. You daintily wipe the corners of your mouth with your finger and offer him a little smile. "I think the fans have finished singing" you note.

Right on queue, the knock finally at the door came, asking Taemin to come out quickly. "I promise to make it up to you Amore" he whispers, his hands cupping your face to place a kiss on your forehead before standing up to finish getting dressed and heading out.

You sat alone in that room, thinking to yourself how you couldn't wait for him to fulfil his promise. You desperately craved his primal side now.

As if the stylists knew something funky went on in the room, they knock, just to make sure, that you were okay for them to come in to tidy up. You cough and hurriedly scoot to where Taemin had stripped you, grabbing your underwear and rushing towards the changing screen, calling them in.

As soon as you finally had calmed down and made yourself modest, you rushed out back to the side stage, making sure you were there for Taemin as he wraps up his final set. You were in such awe and couldn't wait to drown him in affection and congratulatory praises, but your cheeks were downright flushed thinking about the prospects of what happens next.

You were too lost in your own dirty fantasies that you had not noticed Key and Minho standing in front of you, waving and trying to pull you out of your daydreams. "Yah, Lee Taemin, I think y/n is no longer with us" Key calls out to your boyfriend who had just exited the main stage and rushing to hug Minho and Key.

"H-huh?" you mumbled, finally snapping out of your thoughts to see the three Shinee members standing in front of you, smiling however Taemin's was coated with wickedness.

"Wow. You really love him so much that you are in awe huh" Key jokingly scoffs at your direction.

"I couldn't be more proud of him" you giggled, stepping forward to embrace Taemin and peck his lips. "By the way, I didn't put my underwear back on, but the eonnies left you a spare change of clothes" you whispered into his ear.

Taemin chuckles as he pulls away, pardoning himself so he could get changed. Conversations happened here and there and instead of celebrating immediately with drinks and food close by, Taemin had suggested that he wanted to go home first to let his mom know that he was planning on drinking and might be home late and need her to take care of the cats.

This was obviously a lie, kind of. His mom would need to take care of the cats however, due to Taemin's busy schedule, the cats were at her place instead for the weekend.

As the pair of you began to part ways from everyone after an agonizingly painful debate on where to eat, and one heated argument with Euisoo later, Taemin managed to convince his manager that he would like the chance to be able to drive his his girlfriend to the next location and be able to bond with here in peace.

What a fool they were for thinking how cute that sounded because as far as you were concerned, you and Taemin never really made it further out of the carpark.

After waving everyone off, Taemin had hurriedly thrown you into the backseat of his car, jumping in with you with a hungry kiss. "Mmmf, Taemin.. you sure?? Here?" you gasped in between his barrage of kisses.

"Taemin? What happened to Sir" his tone had shifted once more. "Beside I thought you might appreciate the intimacy of a tight enclosed space. Now what was that again about not having your underwear on"

You giggled as you lean against the passenger door, raising your hips so you could pull out said article of clothing from the back pocket.

"How dirty of you Amore, soiling my clothes like this" Taemin whispers, his hands falling familiar to unbuttoning the jeans once more and tugging at them so they just gathered around your knees.

Taemin pulls you off your position and despite the tight area, he manoeuvred you with ease, placing you in front of him bent over, with your hands in the footwell to keep yourself up and your ass in perfect view from his face.

He daringly bites the plump flesh of your cheeks causing you to wince, with his hands once more, teasing your core. Flick. "Amore, listen to me well.." Flick. "Sir desperately wants to fuck you senseless" Flick. "I want this car to shake and be filled with your screams. Okay?" his words were concise but struggled here and there.

He gave a good smack on your ass once more, enough that it stung but that was a sign to get it moving. He had quickly discarded his trousers and boxers, lost in the void of the front seats. Your body shuffled once more to allow yourself and Taemin to be in position where you could sit on his lap, there was not much headroom, but you found yourself leaning back into him, back flushed against his chest

You spat on your hand enough that when you reach down to hold Taemin's member, it was enough lubrication the guide the tip at your entrance, hesitating for a bit.

Taemin however could not wait as he thrusts up, intruding and spreading your open earning a pleased groan out of you. Finally all the tension in your body caved into the pleasure of having Taemin's cock in you. You absorbed every movement as he makes the best effort of plunging in and out of you in a steady rhythm making your bounce on his lap. "Nngh.. sir.. please" you whimpered.

"Please what?"

"More please.."

Taemin secured his arms around your torso, and slightly sinking into the seat so he had the positional advantage to drive himself up in you in a rapid pace. Your grip shifted to hold onto the backrest of the front seats almost holding yourself in place because if Taemin thrusted any harder and you would be either through the roof of the car or half of your body would be over the centre console.

It didn't matter that you were uncomfortable as the euphoric feeling zaps every nerve in your system, overwhelmed by how rough and aggressive Taemin was getting with his pounding. Delicate fingers sneak under your shirt and what could only be described as the man handling of your breasts.

Taemin's name would be the only word left in your brain as he softly whispers sweet nothings into your ear. His hot breath felt like fire against your skin and hearing his shaky breaths and how he moans your name, it sent you wild. "y/n.. y/n.. y/n.. god you. drive. me. insane" he punctuates his words with long and deep thrusts.

Those thrusts came with a price as it it had tickled just the right spots in you evoking a squeal and your walls clenching down on him. You couldn't tell if it was dark out or had your eyes been squeezed shut and you were beginning to see stars. "Taemin .. I mean.. sir.. please fill me up" you moaned, turning your head to look back at him.

He chuckles, pushing your ass up and off it, giving it a quick slap and kiss. "Turn around, I want to look into your eyes as I flood you y/n".

Obedient as you were, it took a few attempts to get to a comfortable position in the back seat as you straddled Taemin, drinking up the sight of how sweaty he had gotten, how his eyes were half lidded shut, equally lost in his arousal. Unconsciously, you began to grind on his shaft, teasing the both of you as his tip poked at your entrance every now and then.

The hot air surrounded the two of you as streams of panting came from both of you. For a small moment, you manage to catch Taemin's eye, filled love and desire. He offers you a soft smile, hand placed on your cheeks. Without breaking eye contact, his spare hand reaches down so he could align himself so in your next grind, he would finally fill you up again, letting out a shudder. Your walls were gripping around him tight and he knew fully well, you two wouldn't last at this rate.

Taemin leans forward to nibble at your collarbone, slapping your ass once more to get you moving as you now bounce up and down, feeling more intense by the minute. He would make you lose your mind even further as me meets your bounce with the thrust, essentially slamming his self into you. His name fell from your lips like a trance, singing his praises and how you craved him.

Your body could barely hold itself together as your body collapses backwards ignoring the fact that your balance was supported by the front two seats, your shoulder resting on either side. Taemin watch your body arches, eyes ogling as your breasts flail with every buck of his hips. His hands get to work. One hand reaches up at your neck, wrapping his fingers around them and applying pressure while the other hand palms at your lower abdomen, sinking lower until his thumb could reach to stimulate your clit once more.

Taemin was more that happy to comply that he would make it up to you. You were a mewling and moaning mess under his control and he could see that you were on the brink of probably causing a scene as your volume was probably leaking out of the car. "Amore.. wait... wait..", you could barely speak out as a scream teared through your throat as you finally reach your release.

Your whole body contorts and honestly, you would have screamed bloody murder if it weren't for the fact Taemin's hands was on your throat and essentially holding you down. Seeing the sight before him unravel, it didn't take long for Taemin to follow suit, releasing his own into you.

There was moment of silence before you felt Taemin's arms snake around you, pulling you back to him. "I think... we should bail on dinner" he breaths out against your skin making you mewl.

"Amore.. we can't keep disappearing on group dinners"

"Fine... but when we get home we need to discuss some safe words before I break you"

[thelemoncoffee]

Kokichi having a very fucked sense of trust my beloved

i don't think i talk about his trust issues enough and honestly that's a crime on my part. this man can fit so much trust issues in him.

i personally think my favorite way of showing his trust issues is him forcing people to work hard for his trust, if you want it you have to go through the worst of his nasty facades to prove yourself worthy of nuggets of who he really is. as results only people who were already close to him before he developed this defense mechanism and really damn stubborn people can actually get through to him, and even then depending on how fresh the trust is it can be pretty easy to break with small things.

he's kinda like a spicy kitten in that right- he spats and hisses but will eventually trust, but if you slightly break his trust or overwhelm him too early on he relapses and you end up several steps back in the process. i imagine Shuichi had to deal with alot of trial and error getting to know him because of this, but Shuichi wants to know him so he sits there with his metaphorical kitty gogurt trying to spspspspsp Kokichi out of the corner of his mental cage

because his trust is so precarious and difficult to achieve and maintain, he tends to perceive other's trust as working the same way by default. unless it's someone who wears their heart on their sleeve, Kokichi assumes everyone else is hard to earn the trust of and once recived is a balancing act to maintain, which means when he breaks someone's trust he kinda just- falls into this mindset of "i destroyed everything and our relationship may never recover", then ends up blind-sighted and confused when they forgive him so soon after, maybe even calling them weak or too trusting cause in his mind it's like "why the fuck would you forgive that easily?? i didn't even make an attempt to make up for it and you forgive me???"

it's also worth mentioning that i like to imagine that Kokichi is serious about his privacy and stuff and has a very particular ideal of what he considers private, this ideal usually being anything from what people usually consider private info (ie; where he lives, his trauma, his family life, medical shit) to stuff that are uniquely Kokichi (ie: hobbies, food preferences, what he and his friends like to do together, even how to interact positively with him).

because he's so serious about his privacy, regardless of how insignificant you deem it, he will feel like his trust was violated if you tell anyone without running it by him first. he claims it's for the mystery, but really he's just paranoid and trying to keep up a facade he can control- micromanaging who knows what harmless fact about him to feel comfort, telling someone something as simple as his favorite animal without his permission throws him into a tizzy

[seducemefanficsandheadcanons]

Tangled Destinies

In Progress I do NOT own most of the characters in this work. They belong to Michaela Laws. This story will be posted on multiple platforms. (Tumblr, Wattpad, and AO3.)

Adira was raised by her mother to become the strongest demon hunter in the realm. She has a natural ability in magic, and is typically a strong-willed individual, until she is forced to try and kill a group of innocent incubi.

There will be mental health discussions, eventual smut, and depictions of torture. Please read at your own risk.

I changed the chapter name to one I found more fitting. The title comes from a line of Mess it up by Gracie Abrams.

Chapter One~ Kicking myself with my gut in a knot

I sat in the middle of the floor, reading through the books and spells at an inhuman speed, only obtainable by magic. I turned 21 today, which should be a happy occasion. I should be out with my closest friends, getting horribly drunk, doing the most embarrassing things imaginable that I’m sure to regret, then spending tomorrow hungover and miserable. Instead, I was planning the murder of a group of incubi brothers. The thought of it made my stomach tie itself in knots. I’d observed the men for some time now, as per the request of my mother and the Angels. The men seemed kind and private, never sharing or abusing their powers. 

The men were all descendants of the demon lord, a madman who murdered and burned buildings for his own enjoyment. James, the eldest, was set to be the next ruler with 3 of his brothers in line as replacements. The youngest was born out of wedlock however, leaving him doomed for slavery and torture simply due to his existance. The boys all gathered together, and with the help of an extremely powerful warlock, all moved and started lives in the human world. They had caused no disruptions and no risk to the innocence of humans, yet I was being sent on a mission to kill the innocent men. I had fought and pleaded for the men’s lives more times than I could count, but the day had come, and there was simply nothing I could do. I would be sent to kill them with all the spells and magic I could muster, the brothers would be caught off guard, I’d hopefully (or not) be successful and live, and my family would throw an extravagant celebration of their deaths. 

I had waited for angels to intervene, threatening my mother with their involvement. That is until she informed me that the mission was assigned by one. I had no concrete proof of this, but none had come to deny the claim, not like any would. 

I sighed as I closed the book in front of me and stood up, my heart aching. As I did, I noticed my mother standing in the doorway. “This is for the best. If you don’t do this, you will never get to the status you deserve.”

I furrowed my eyebrows, knowing it wasn’t my status we were talking about. “And what would that be?” I asked with a plain, bored tone.

She walked over and placed a hand on my shoulder, a kind smile plastered on her face as if she wasn’t forcing me to try to kill someone. “You're powerful, you should be recognized as such.”

I pulled away, shaking my head. “Mother, I told you I don’t care about that. I just-” Suddenly, upon hearing her snap I felt my body tense and my throat tighten, leaving no allowance for fighting back against her spell.

“Adira, this is our life's work. Demons don’t belong here, and we must stop the ones who do. Now, I would go and do it myself if it wasn’t your special day. But believe me when I say, the job will get done one way or another, kay sweetie?” Her voice was cold and demanding, and I began to cramp from my efforts to fight back. "And if you try to stop this, I won't hesitate to kill you if it means getting you out of my way."

I could only nod as her spell slowly wore off. “You should leave now, I can’t go and watch you unfortunately, but you’ll do great.” mother said cheerfully, pulling me into a tight bear hug. I hugged her back, knowing I’d get lectured otherwise, before grabbing my jacket and belt which carried my weapons. I took a deep breath before using magic to teleport out of my living room and into a patch of woods.

I sat on a tree, watching the brothers as they trained together. I watched closely, studying their fighting styles before one of them froze. “Do you hear that?” Damien asked, his eyes showing his alarm.

The others looked at him confused, and I felt my heart drop. How had they heard me? “Someones here, watching.” He added, looking around.

“Malix?” The oldest asked, conjuring a weapon in his hand. Damien shook his head, and I felt guilt rumble in my chest. I don’t want to do this, I thought to myself. His eyes widened in panic. “Where are you?” He yelled, and the others began to form battle stances. 

I’m sorry was my final thought before I stepped out of the woods, slowly approaching the yard. Be strong, don’t let them see you falter. The one who I believed was Sam eyed the small but noticeable tattoo on my wrist, his demon aura growing. “Fucking demon hunter.” He growled.

Damien stared at me intently, and I had to remind myself not to avert my gaze. Almost too fast to process, I felt my body slam into a tree, Sam being the attacker. Shit. I summoned a spell, pushing him back but not injuring him. Maybe if I piss him off enough, he’ll kill me. The thought was sad, sure. I didn’t want to die, but I knew I’d be more content being killed then being the killer.

My thoughts were cut off though, by Sam standing up to pin me again. “WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT WITH US” He screamed, demonic undertones reverberating with each syllable. 

James ran up to us, glaring just as hard. “We have done nothing to harm anyone, so tell us.” He said with an unsettling professional voice accompanied by the same demonic undertone.

I felt fear enthrallment build in my body, but I quickly counteracted it by distracting him, using the same spell to push them back. Soon, all of the brothers were surrounding me, one holding daggers while the other was surrounded by tentacles. I considered myself strong willed,  hell I’d almost physically fought my mother to stop myself from killing the men who stared at me with murderous intent at this very moment, but I felt completely powerless. As strong and efficient as I was in magic, I could surely kill one of them at the very least. But I couldn't even bring myself to injure Sam earlier, let alone kill him. These men were innocent, and I was on a mission to murder them. I sighed, pushing the spell back again. I wanted to irritate them, make them want me dead. Hell, I can’t even say I died trying. Apparently, it was working because I felt Sam’s fist ram itself into my stomach. I eyed Damien, who instead of angry looked horrified and pale. I had numbed out at the fists, the yelling and questioning, barely noticing it all until a gun pressed up against my forehead, getting my undivided attention. 

“You have one more opportunity to explain why you have come for us, or I will not hesitate to pull this trigger.” James demanded, reinforcing the fear enthrallment which I didn’t bother to fight this time. I closed my eyes, taking in my predicament. When mother found out I’d allowed myself to get killed, she was going to bring me back to life just to kill me again. I heard the safety on the pistol click, and I drew in a breath. Out of nowhere, Damien’s voice ripped through the air. “JAMES, STOP!”

I didn’t open my eyes, nor did I release my breath. I could still feel the gun pressed against me as James spoke, his irritation evident. “What is it, Damien?”

“She wants you to kill her.” He said frantically, and I could almost feel his gaze. I heard Sam scoff. “Then we’ll give her what she wants.”

“NO!” Damien yelled again. I felt his presence bush next to me, but I kept my eyes closed. I wondered how he knew, was I that transparent? I mean, a human, magic or not, attacking a group of demons of lilith was a suicide mission. I didn’t realize I was shaking until his hands gripped one of mine. “Let’s get her inside, and I’m sure she will answer anything you need to know.”

My eyes shot open, taking in the sight around me. “Are you fucking insane? She just tried to kill us!”  Sam yelled,

Damien shook his head. “No, she could have if she wanted to. Let’s go inside.” He gestured behind him, his eyes fighting for dominance with his brother’s.

Matthew and Erik both hesitantly nodded, turning around and slowly making their way to the mansion, but the others stayed. I was no longer pinned to the tree, and I wasn’t sure how to act. I felt like I was in some kind of fever dream. I wasn’t entirely sure what was supposed to be happening, whether I was supposed to die or one of them, but I was confident that it wasn’t this. I began to worry, what if this was some kind of trick? I knew the fate that awaited me regardless. I’d leave here and inform mother that my mission was unsuccessful, she’d shame me for ruining her status in the ‘demon hunter business’ then she’d kill me. Five minutes ago I wanted to die and now that it’s going to happen at the hands of my mother, I’m freaking out. Fucking coward.

No one moved for a few minutes, but Damien broke the silence and lightly wrapped his arm around mine. “Come on, let’s get you inside. No one is going to hurt you.”

I faintly heard a grumble from Sam, something along the lines of ‘speak for yourself’ before nodding to Damien, at a complete loss for words.

[rebuke-me]

“I mean, that’s why I like doing sports. It gets me out of the house.” Jake said, and Jeremy felt a little bit like throwing up. “Like, travel baseball-” 

“You have to be good at playing sports to play sports.” He said, cutting the other boy off. “And I’m not. And- and even if I did get on, for whatever reason, you still have to pay for your uniforms.” 

Jake looked over at him, and Jeremy stared at his knees, which were bouncing again. “They’re, like, fifteen bucks. It’s not bad.” 

“Some of us work because we need the money to live, Dillinger.” Jeremy gestured at the parking lot. “Your house is probably still standing somewhere. Mine’s a pizza place. Because some of us can’t even afford to keep a house, much less pay money to play a sport we’re bad at.” He realized his voice had risen, and he was gripping his book tightly on his lap. “I just- never mind. Sorry. I- I shouldn’t have said anything.” 

Jake didn’t speak for a moment, before he nodded. “Yeah. I… didn’t really consider that before now.” He said, slowly. “I didn’t mean to, y’know. Do that to you. I just figured…” 

“What, that since I’m Jewish I’m rich?” Jeremy couldn’t help the horrible bitterness that crept into his voice. He’d dealt with enough assumptions from people around him about his Judaism. Enough hatred. “Because that’s stupid, even for you, Dillinger.” 

“I’m not stupid.” Jake crushed a leaf in his hands, scattering it on the ground in front of him. “I didn’t even think of it that way.” 

They sat in silence for a while, before Jake cleared his throat. 

“Do people really… think that about you? Just ‘cause you’re Jewish?” 

Jeremy stared at the rotating neon sign over the gravesite of his house, the place he’d grown up in, that was gone now. He wondered if they’d filled in their basement with concrete. If they’d burned the wood to the ground. And maybe, somewhere, he wished he’d been there to see it fall. 

“Someone wrote that I should’ve been gassed on my locker last year.” He finally said. “The day before my bar mitzvah. Stuck one of those, like, gross stink bomb things in my gym bag and everything. I couldn’t get the smell out of my clothes for weeks.” 

Jake was looking at him with the kind of look his dad gave him when he mentioned how bad school was for him. Pity and horror and disappointment all at once. He knew he was. 

“Whatever. It- it doesn’t matter. They’re definitely all fucking old or dead now anyways.” Jeremy bit his cheek. “Maybe in 2023, everyone decided that Jewish people just get to live their lives and no one cares. Or maybe we’re all just still stuck in the same cycle of everyone thinking that our religion means we own everything and everyone.” He kicked a stone. 

“I- I didn’t know that happened to you. That’s… really terrible, Jeremy.” Jake’s voice was so pitying. “When we get back, if anyone else does that shit to you, I’ll hit them with my bat.” 

Jeremy couldn’t help but laugh a little bit at the image of Jake Dillinger knocking heads of anti-Semitic assholes with his baseball bat. “Thanks. I… appreciate that.” 

Jake got to his feet, brushing crushed up leaves from his jeans. Older Rich hadn’t had jeans that fit Jake, but he’d gotten his washed and Jeremy could barely see the blood residue on them. “C’mon. I don’t even wanna look at how much more expensive the Sbarro’s pizza is. We should head back before they start looking for us.” 

Jeremy looked one last time at the place where he’d grown up, before he got up, trying for a smile. “Back to the camp with us, Master Frodo.” He said. 

Jake furrowed his brows at him. “What?”

“Never mind.” Jeremy couldn’t help but laugh at Jake’s confusion. He held up his book. “Lord of the Rings. Maybe I’ll read you a bedtime story when we’re back at Rich’s.”

[beanie-twink]

So since you wanted some ianthony song recs... And I am also currently working on creating a playlist for them. I figured you wouldn't mind if I ramble about some of my favourite choices so far! :D

For now the playlist is still pretty TS heavy , since I went through her albums first to look for songs. So here are some of my top choices (aside from midnight rain) for them there:

- forever winter

"he spends most of his nights wishing it was how it used to be" "all this time I didn't know you were breaking down. I'd fall to pieces on the floor, if you weren't around"

- 'tis the damn season

"if I wanted to know who you were hanging with while I was gone I would have asked you" "so we could call it even [...] I'm staying at my parent's house and the road not taken looks real good now" "and I always leads to you, in my hometown" "so I'll go back to LA [...] And wonder about the only soul who can tell which smiles I'm fakin'"

- and then of course the corresponding "Dorothea"

- closure (this song hits even more since we know about the letter that Anthony wrote)

(tho I'm glad that the song doesn't actually apply to them irl anymore; it just feels like Smth for the in between phase)

- both happiness and evermore also fit pretty well for that time

Especially with "sorry, I can't see facts through all of my fury. You haven't met the new me yet" "now I get fake niceties. No one teaches you what to do when a good man hurts you and you know you hurt him too"

And

"motion capture put me in a bad light" "writing letters addressed to the fire" "I rewind the tape but all it does is pause on the very moment all was lost"

- also "right where you left me" for Ian Vs "it's time to go" for anthony

- I almost do

Literally the whole song fits so well here idk what else to say (works from both perspectives imo)

- Breathe

"Cause none of us thought that it was gonna end this way. Ppl are ppl and sometimes we change our minds. But it's killing me to see you go after all this time" "you're the only thing I know like the back of my hand" "It's 2:00 am feeling like I just lost a friend. Hope you know it's not easy for me"

- That's when

Just really reminds me of that time when they were still apart and when asked if there are any plans of Anthony coming back one day or Smth like that and said Smth along the lines of "the door is always open"

- the story of us

Again, literally the whole song istg

But especially "now I'm standing alone in a crowded room and we're not speaking. And I'm dying to know: is it killing you like it's killing me?"

- from folkore I think both "the 1" and "exile" fit pretty well

Especially "and it took you 5 whole minutes to pack us up and leave me with it" and the whole bridge with "you didn't even here me out. You never gave a warning sign/I gave so many signs"

- also "this is me trying"

With "I didn't know if you care if I came back. I have a lot of regrets about that." "But I'm here in your doorway. I just wanted you to know, that this is me trying" (Anthony)

"and it's hard to be at a party when I feel like an open wound. It's hard to be anywhere these days when all I want is you. You're a flashback in a film real on the one screen in my town"

- you're loosing me (right before the Anthony left smosh)

"do I throw out everything we built or keep it?" "my face was gray but you wouldn't admit that we were sick"

- New Year's Day (hurts during the "break-up" era, but also feels very healing atm tbh)

"don't read the last page. But I stay when it's hard, or it's wrong, or we're making mistakes"

"hold on to the memories, they will hold on to you"

"Please don't ever become a stranger, whose laugh I could recognize anywhere"

Honourable mentions:

- I wish you would

- you are in love

- long live

- the very first night

- hits different

Sorry this was way longer than intended lmao.

And mostly angsty

Hope you enjoy some of them tho! :D

ANOTHER IANTHONY SWIFTIE BLESSED DAY

[fluffydancer618]

So yeah about that post, here it is

Close-ups and rumbles about the plot under cut

1 - So as I said in the other post this is based on No One Lives Forever by Oingo Boingo animatic I had in my head. And, according to plot of it, c!Fluffy having a stress dream due to selling their soul to c!Adam (by "dream version" of which the song is sang in that nightmare btw. Like a way of mocking Fluffy's mortality), facing all their fears related to that situation, with the main fear being the fear of death.

2 - Cause yes, despite being all "I don't care about death" and stuff, deep inside c!Fluffy: a) do realize they do not want to die in a young age and going to hell; and b) can't stop pondering Adam's line about the ones who sold their souls and how they don't tend to live for too long after that.

3 - One of the main things c!Fluffy hates the most - aka secretly scared of - is not being in control of something they believe should be fully controlled by them. And, by selling their soul, they pretty much give major control over their life - and, if you think about it, death - to c!Adam. Like, sure, the soul still in their body, but it's really easy to fix. Unnervingly easy to fix.

Also yeah, it's the pose similar to the one c!Fluffy did on their first appearance on the board post, aka "Everything is under my control" pose, because cinematic parallels my beloved

4 - Because the assignment was just to draw 9 frames, I had to choose what pictures in my head are more important and easy to draw cause friendly reminder I was speedrunning it at night so not all scenes made an appearance here, obviously. But for your information, after this moment with c!Fluffy's soul being captured by c!Adam, a few golden chains attempts to seize them, but Fluffy dodges them (barely) and runs away.

5 - As they run from Adam, dozens of knives flying towards them.

This one is here mostly because of the "Cuts cuts cuts but he can't get me" line and hehe throwing knives at the knife-thrower I am funny

6 - So, originally it should've been mirrors that popped from the ground and show different variations of c!Fluffy's possible deaths (choking, falling from a big height, cutting their own throat, etc etc) instead of their actual reflection, but 🙄for some reasons🙄 we're not allowed to depict brutal deaths in our college's works so here it's just regular mirrors (which.. would also work if not the context actually, cause c!Fluffy does afraid of their own self in some extent because of rᒷᔑsoリs). Just imagine something traumatizing on them.

Either way, Fluffy sees this all, starts backing up, stumble on the mirror behind them, slowly turns and sees themself as a demon (according to the plot it's still dream version of c!Adam messing with them, so Demon c!Fluffy is just Fluffy with Adam's eyes in official clothes). Because that's another their inner fear: What if, when they die and go to hell, Lucifer will in fact break them making join his army?

7 - On "No one lives forever!" line Demon c!Fluffy (aka c!Adam in disguise) breaks the mirror and pushes Fluffy making them fall. But instead of landing on the floor, they fly down to the dark void.

Fun fact: While eavesdropping on what the teachers say about my works, I definitely heard how one of them referred to this frame as "two eyes looking at the fly" which is hilarious but also pretty poetic and fitting cause like. the character who's often being compered to a spider is currently experiencing the role of the fly trapped in a web and- You get it

Suddenly, they start falling through a bunch of golden chains, entangling in them in the process until they hit the ground. They try to stand up, but they're exhausted and the golden chains are heavy. But then, they notice a person that stands in front of them. Not any person, their friend. Fluffy, covered and seizes in chains, look at them with the hope in their eyes, silently begging for help. Only to face their final inner fear...

8 - What if it wasn't even worth it? What if the person they lost their soul for, agreeing on an endless suffering, gonna leave them behind and doesn't actually care about them as much as Fluffy thought? Was it really a friendship or just an attempt to ruin them? Why do you trust them? Why did you make this decision? W̷̳̩͘ḩ̶̟̗̽̕͠a̸̻̟̖͆̅t̷̞̠̏ ̴̖̉̇̑͜t̸̼̟́ẖ̴̂é̷͇̂ ̵̰̈́͊f̵͎̣͕̍́͘u̷̝̯̓̓c̵̲̓͑̊k̷̺͙̩̑͆ ̷̙̩̪̋h̷̛̟̜̜̀̍a̴̖͓͂̃v̵͈̭͛̒ȩ̵̙̾̈́͝ͅ ̸̼̿ỳ̶̳̫̑o̴̲͛̌u̵̠͛̍̂ ̷̫̖̈̎d̸̪̊͜o̸̘͐ņ̵͍̫̏ě̴̼͝,̸̻͕̄ ̸̦̼̟̃̅͑F̸̹͎́̚͝ľ̴͉͆̍͜u̵̙͛f̸̡̌̀̊f̸̛̺̗͖̈́͝y̸̻͍͑̿̊͜?̴̧̅̔͘

9 - And then they wake up in a cold sweat at The Lair. The End <3

Canonically they don't have a bed - or any furniture in general - in there and obviously should wear the hat but it would be too much to explain + it was 5am I literally did not care that much at this point

So yup that's it, thank you for reading my insane rambles I appreciate that

[piscesseer]

Mercury Retrograde in Virgo

Mercury Retrograde begins on August 23 and will last until September 15. With Mercury Retrograde in Virgo, we might look at past decisions and ideas from a new perspective. We might be especially critical. 

Typically, Mercury Retrogrades throw us off. We will likely have communications problems, misunderstandings, technical difficulties, travel delays, lost items, and general frustration. There is a bit of chaos in the air, and if something annoying can go wrong, it will. The best way to deal with Mercury Retrograde’s challenges is to slow down and take things one step at a time. Be mindful of your actions and thoughts. With a little effort, you can make the most of this challenging time.

Plans might be considered and then reconsidered. New information can come to light that changes the situation, or perhaps there is a change in the goals or priorities. Plans may be reconsidered if they are not working as well as expected or if there are unforeseen challenges or obstacles. It is important to be flexible and open to change when making plans, this way we are less frustrated.

Mercury is the planet of communication and thought, and when it is in Virgo, it is in its element. While Mercury is in Retrograde in Virgo, it is still a good time to focus on practical matters. TGet organized, declutter, and look over projects that require attention to detail. We are also more likely to be detail-oriented and pay attention to the little things.

When Mercury is in Virgo, our minds are sharp and analytical. We are able to focus on details and see things clearly. However, Mercury Retrograde can cause a mental fog. We may feel forgetful, confused, or indecisive. This is a good time to review, revise, and perfect our work. We can also use this time to reflect on the past and find usefulness in old or past ideas. We can recycle these ideas in new ways to create something fresh and original.

Mercury Retrograde in Virgo can be a time of frustration, as things may not go as smoothly as planned. However, it's a chance to make things right and improve on what's already been done. It's a time to go back over old ground and make sure that everything is in order. It's also a time to focus on details and make sure that everything is as it should be. This can be a good time to review contracts, check your finances, and make sure that all of your paperwork is in order. It's also a good time to catch up on old projects or to map out new projects that require careful planning and attention to detail. By taking advantage of this time to review, revise, and refine, you can come out of it stronger and more prepared for the future.

This transit gives us the opportunity to reevaluate our routines and habits. We may discover new ways of doing work, or we may want to renew old self-care, health, or fitness routines. This is a great time to reflect on what is important to us and make changes that will improve our lives.

Some ideas on how to do this are:

Keep a journal or log of daily activities to help us to see where we are spending our time and energy.

Identify areas in our lives that we would like to improve, then research different ways to improve in these areas.

Experiment with new routines and habits until we find ones that work for us.

Be patient and persistent with change. It takes time to develop new habits.

Reevaluating our routines and habits can be a challenge, but it is also an opportunity to improve our lives.

We might want to give more thought to the meaning of our work and services. What are we trying to achieve? How are we making a difference in the world? Are we satisfied with the impact we are having? If not, what can we do to change that? Taking the time to reflect on our work can help us to stay motivated and focused, and to ensure that we are making a positive impact on the world. This can make us feel more satisfied, connected to our values, more efficient in our work, and making a more positive impression on the world. Take some time to reflect on this. It may be a difficult process, but it is worth it.

It is important to review your recent work to identify areas for improvement. Avoid getting stuck in a loop of perfectionism. It is also important to set realistic expectations for yourself and to be willing to accept that your work will never be perfect. Virgo energy helps us to get close, but remember that nothing will ever be perfect.

Mercury Retrograde in Virgo can be a time of anxiety and restlessness. We may feel like our brains are rattling on and nothing is coming together. This can lead to frustration and anxiety.

If you experience any of these challenges during Mercury Retrograde in Virgo, try to stay calm and patient. Remember that this is a temporary time of change, and that things will eventually get back to normal.

You can overcome the challenges of a Mercury Retrograde in Virgo by:

Staying clear and concise with your communication.

Double-checking your work before sending it off.

Be patient with yourself and others.

Don’t make major, life-changing decisions if possible.

Review old projects for improvement.

Focus on what is within your control.

If you're feeling overwhelmed during Mercury Retrograde in Virgo, take some time to relax and focus on the things that are within your control. Don't try to force things to happen, and be patient with yourself and others. Take time to take care of yourself. Resting the mind is important for it to work properly!

With a little effort, you can make the most of this challenging time.

[safeheavenproject]

The "Arcs" of Safe Heaven

AKA what I've thus far decided would be how the story is written out! Arcs would be longer than the intermissions, tho the prologue and epilogue could be as long as the arcs proper, or at least longer than intermissions? We'd just have to see.

Prologue: Before the Fall (Opens on Agatha's death on earth, a little gruesome but has her wanting to not die despite it all etc. She ends up in heaven, we get to see it's a pretty good place overall. Basically goes over her year in heaven and how she ends up getting on Umbra's bad side, the subsequent trial, and her fall. Ends on Dawn and Eden finding her)

Act 1: Pride (Agatha is taken to Safe Haven for the first time and told how it works, as the twins nurse her back to health. She learns that Lucifer himself comes to see how it's going once a month and decides she's going to help them make their dream a reality. Upon recovery, she starts trying to recruit people to Safe Haven, to live in peace with them all. She's able to get Abel's attention and, from there, Dollie and Zoey follow after. Lucifer comes on his monthly visit and actually seems impressed -- turns out it's been a few years since the start and this growth has never been seen before. He says he'll throw a little weight around to assist, since they made it this far.)

Intermission 1: Princes of Sin (Lucifer calls a meeting between the Princes of Sin [leaders of the City] and discusses the fact that before he didn't care if they fended off Eden and Dawn... But now, they should allow them to at least try. Test them, if you will. Hell politics yaaaay)

Act 2: Sloth (Eden, Dawn, and co decide to tackle Sloth first, as they believe it won't be too hard to convince them that Safe Haven fits right in with what they want... If they leave out the fact everyone is supposed to help each other out around there. With a little bit of schmoozing and lying, they're able to get Belphegor and his left and right hands to agree to open things up to Safe Haven. They gain their first non-main cast guest from this.)

Intermission 2: Settling In (Would basically focus on this first non-main cast guest settling in and getting to know the main cast better. Would start to hint at redemption being possible, as they choose to start changing for the better)

Act 3: Envy (Envy is their next target, due to their smaller size. Leviathan and those under him prove to be a lot less willing to work things out at first, and so the main cast turns to the general populace. They basically play on their envy talking about how much better life is in Safe Haven. The non-main cast guest is integral to this, showing how much better it is. Eventually they get their way, just so they get away from Envy. An important antagonist for the next arc joins Safe Haven)

Intermission 3: Risk and Rewards (On their way back to Safe Haven, Abel gets murked by some demons. This is bad, because his pride has grown tendfold since he first died and he WILL respawn in front of Lucifer himself. This goes better than expected)

Act 4: Lust (Lust is their next target and Asmodeus is actually open to them proving themselves. They have to earn his Right and Left Hand's favor without falling to the temptation of lust themselves. Simple, only lust is a very strong thing sometimes. Zoey gets into a mess, but it's okay because they're ready for it and it gets Scotty's favor long enough to get what they need. Twilight is harder, but when the antagonist from last arc reveals their history with her and attacks her, the group is able to win her over. Their first guest dies saving Twilight and is redeemed, but they gain three or four for the lost two so it's alright.)

Intermission 4: Who Art in Heaven (We see the character redeemed and the panic it causes for parts of heaven. Namely Umbra and Justitia. Adam is actually quite excited. Dahlia, who would be mentioned here and there before this, is also introduced)

Act 5: Wrath (This is where things get REALLY hard for our crew. Satan, as it turns out, is a bit more favorable of God and heaven than the others. This leads to straight up fighting with Wrath and a bit of a territory war. Daddy dearest COULD help... but nah. He'll just watch, thanks asshole. It's fine... Dawn and Eden are able to use their wits to win in the end and Satan has no choice but to allow them to recruit. More guests for Safe Haven GET.)

Intermission 5: A Court Case in Heaven (Heaven wants Eden and Dawn to explain themselves BIG TIME. But they have the best lawyers hell can provide on their side -- Lilith and Eve. Agatha also goes with and reunites with Dahlia... The tensions are as high as you would expect)

Act 6: Gluttony (To indulge to the point of self-destruction is the fun of it. That's what they learn is the way of Gluttony very quickly. Everyone at Safe Haven now have to come up with a plan to make Safe Haven seem like that kind of indulgence, while skirting self-destruction just enough to not. Y'know, implode in on themselves. Beelzebub and his guys seem to find this very funny -- enough they eventually give in just to see how fast things crash and burn when any and all sinners and hellborn can join up and cause havoc. Especially when heaven's knocking at their door.)

Intermission 6: Redemption, Redemption, Redemption (Without even meaning to, the twins seem to be redeeming a lot of souls. Mostly ones who were hurt themselves in life and, say, ended up there due to addiction or killing their abuser. Things one could easily argue aren't something that should land one in hell just because they didn't regret it. This is not a good thing for them in the long run.)

Act 7: Greed (Getting Mammon to agree is simple. Pay him enough and they can do whatever they want! Yeah... So it becomes a big scheme to make as much money as fast as possible. This goes about as well as one would expect -- think Ed Edd n Eddy as far as how it goes at first. FINALLY Lucifer steps in to give them just a little bit of help. Thanks asshole.

Intermission 7: Declaration of War (Heaven, tired of all these guys popping up and causing chaos... Decide it's time to declare war on hell. No more simple raids -- all-out war. Lucifer gathers the sins and the choice is made -- they have to fight, even those who don't want to (Satan and co).

Act 8: War with Heaven (It's time for the actual war. It's a struggle back and forth, ending with the defeat of Umbra and Justitia calling troops back to save the dark angel. Adam through this has his eyes opened to the ignorance god and co were happy to fill him with and he gets to recoline with Lilith and Eve both. Redemption of Sinners is possible, BUT they have to argue for the right to redeem them before doing it. They can't be having serial murderers or something showing up at the pearly gates, after all. Basically a treaty is drawn up and things seem okay after a lot of strife yippee!!)

Epilogue: From Then On... (Just a lil flash forward of how things are going. Eden and Dawn are really good at arguing for sinners to the point where it's like. OKAY WE GET IT. THEY KILLED THEIR ABUSIVE SPOUSE AND ONLY THEM FINE THEY CAN COME IN. We get to see some draw backs to the main cast with this treaty and deal in action but overall it's pretty good. Yep yep.)

[dee-writes-smut]

GOD, PLEASE NO

(If you enjoyed this chapter and want to see more, what is posted of the series can be found here Broken Hearts Series) (you can find series warnings there as well)

The beginning of our story is messy, with a whole lot of violence, language, and gore, so why not start somewhere simpler before getting into the nitty gritty. It’s a time I look back on with fondness, but also with sadness, it’s a time that takes me to a dark, dark place, but to understand how I got to be where I am, you need to understand why I am the way I am now, why I did some of the things I did. Now, this could be me completely bullshitting, trying to come up with excuses for my inexcusable actions, but it’s better that you know the whole truth so that you might be able to decide yourself. It all started before the world went to shit when life was easier, safer, and way less complicated. 

2013

“Ty! I’m home!” I shout as I drop my keys in the bowl near the front door, huffing out a sigh as I shrug off my eggplant coat and throw it on the rack on the other side of the door. 

“Kitchen!” I strong male voice calls out from the left side of the house, causing a smile to grow on my face as I walk through the living room and into the small kitchen where I find my wonderful husband stirring something that smells heavenly while bouncing our sweet seven month old on his hip. 

“Aww, look at my sweet housewife,” I chuckle, dropping onto the stool in front of the even smaller island with a sigh. While our home wasn’t grand, it was perfect for us and our little future with a kitchen adorning some disgusting yellow backsplash and two small bedrooms that barely fit our queen size bed, two oak side tables, and a mismatching dresser along with a bright white crib. As I said, small but perfect.

“Don’t get used to it,” he grumbles, turning to show me his beautiful teasing smile. “How was work?” 

“Exhausting,” I respond, getting up from the stool to press a kiss to his chocolate skin and taking our son from his arms. Tyrone chuckles at my response, pointedly looking at my stained scrubs. 

“I can see that.” He smiles a beautiful bright smile before leaving the food on to stove to pull me in for a proper kiss. “How ‘bout you go lay on the couch with Amir, he missed his momma today.” I smile in thanks, planting another soft kiss on my husband's lips before walking into our living room and flopping down on the cool gray couch with a huff. 

“Hello my sweet boy,” I smile tiredly, pressing kisses to my son's face before pulling him to my chest. Amir coos, pulling at the gold necklace with his initials on it that hangs around my neck. As he continues to pull at the chain, I can’t help but study how much he looks like his father, same strong nose, same beautiful dark skin, and thick black hair already growing in as well as some thick bushy eyebrows that I can not help but adore. However, I do see some of my features as well, bright blue eyes, full lips, and straight, stringy hair that awkwardly curls on the end. By the time I snap out of my admiring, Amir is dead asleep, drooling onto my colorful scrubs and Tyrone is in front of me, smiling fondly at the two of us. “Stalker,” I smirk, careful not to move and wake the sleeping baby on my chest. 

“Dinner is done. I can take him so you can go eat,” He offers gently and I smile in gratitude as I move my arms so he can take the child carefully from my arms. 

“Hey,” I whisper, standing up and pressing a loving kiss to his thin lips. “Thank you for taking care of us.” 

“Of course, it's what I'm here for.” He smiles, pulling me into a warm embrace with his unoccupied arm. 

“I love you,” I whisper, looking lovingly up at him. 

“And I love you.” with that, he pulls me in tighter, pressing a kiss to my hair before letting me go and heading upstairs to put Amir to sleep. I walk into the kitchen a large bowl of shrimp glazed with what I am assuming is spicy cream sauce sitting on the counter, and almost moan as I take a bite. I’ve been starving all day going from code to code in the NICU and this is the first real meal I have had all day, so I relish it, taking the time to savor the spice and burst of flavor in each bite. After finishing my food, I walk upstairs and change out of my dirty scrubs and into a large shirt that is most likely Tyrones. Then scoot under the covers of our bed and snuggle into his arms, finally feeling truly relaxed as I let the exhaustion of my day send me into a deep sleep. 

“Baby! Baby! Wake up!” A frantic voice calls, startling me awake. 

“Wha- Ty, what are you doing?” I slur, rubbing the sleep from my eyes and sitting up. When my vision finally focuses, Tyrone has a frantic look in his eye, our baby cradled tightly in his arms. 

“We need to go, c’mon!” He rushes, gently grabbing my hand and pulling me onto my feet. 

“What are you talking about?” I huff, walking over to the dresser in the corner of the room and pulling a drawer full of pants open. I grab a pair of thick leggings and some socks from the drawer above while I wait for him to answer. 

“There is somethin’ going on, somethin’ bad and we need to go. Everyone is freaking out, eating people, goin’ crazy and we’re not safe here. So, please, honey will you try and move a little faster?” Tyrone sobs, his eyes watering as he rubs his son's soft head. I rush to put on a pair of shoes, and then we haul ass downstairs where I grab the baby carrier from the closet and strap it to my chest, allowing Tyrone to gently place the wailing boy against my chest. I grab the coat I had just placed on the rack not hours ago and wrap myself and my sweet son in the warmth the coat offers. Once ready, we rush outside and straight to the car, keys jingling in Tyrone's hand as he runs beside me. It all happens in a flash, so fast I didn’t even notice them coming until my husband was lying on the ground, his throat spewing blood as one of our neighbors continued to scratch and bite at him. At that moment I freeze, everything coming to a stop as I stand there, immobile as my whole world comes crashing down. The wails of my son snap me out of my trance, and I snap into action rushing towards the woman on top of my husband mauling him. I grab a rock on the ground and sprint at her, letting out a blood-curdling scream as I bash her in the back of the head with the rock. She immediately falls to the ground, going limp next to my husband, but I don’t stop, tears streaming down my cheeks as I wail, pounding blow after blow into her skull until I’m heaving, her face caved in and unrecognizable under me. Amir is screaming bloody murder at this point, scared at my sudden outburst of pure rage and grief. 

“I’m so sorry,” I sob, bringing my bloodied hands up to cradle him closer to my chest in the harness. Blood stains his hair and harness, but I don’t notice, too busy trying to comfort my son as he continues to cry in terror. I continue to pat him, silencing him as I hum a tune I know by heart as he continues to cry and cry. Once his cries are dissolved into hiccups, I press a gentle kiss to his bloodied forehead before wrapping my coat around him once more. I need the keys to the car which lay in Tyrone’s limp hand beside me, but I can’t find it in myself to go near him, to touch him, for fear of defiling him. Looking down at my son, at our son, wailing in my arms I realize my existence is for him and him only. With a deep breath, I rush to my dead husband’s body, yanking the keys from his limp hand and turning to the car, my heart breaking in two as I leave him behind. My lover, my partner in crime, my life, all gone in just a few moments and it is all at the fault of one incident, one mistake, one careless move of another, and I've ended up here, widowed and scared for my life.

[reds-ramblings]

Here comes my contribution to your prompt game: a one-shot about Jessy and MC finally meeting up for a night of horror movies. But things get out of hand...

Alright, for this one we're going to have to pretend episode 10 didn't end the way it did. I'm not sure if this is exactly what you meant by out of hand but it certainly does fit the description. I had a lot of fun writing this.

Trigger Warning: I'm not sure what to put here but I know there should be something. If you find the content in horror movies triggering you probably don't want to read this.

Horror Queen: Dethroned

MC and Jessy make their way through the supermarket picking out all their favorite snacks for movie night. They fill their shopping cart with popcorn, chips, cookies, candy, and other junk food. Forty-five minutes and $86.35 later they leave the store and head back to Jessy's house. MC arranges all of the snacks on the table in the living room while Jessy pops several bags of popcorn and pours them all into a big bowl. Jessy brings the popcorn into the living room and grabs some blankets and throws them on the couch.

"So what are our movie choices?" MC asks.

"Well, there are just so many to choose from. Let's start with Hereditary. It's about a family that has witch ancestors and they all get possessed and die crazy deaths. Are you sure you're not going to chicken out?" Jessy teases.

"Me? You're the one who acts like the queen of horror but gets terrified over the slightest things."

"That's not the same! Watching it on TV and knowing it's fake is different than being faced with crazies in real life."  Jessy says as she plops down on the couch.

"If you say so," MC says. She covers up with a blanket and grabs the bowl of popcorn and puts it on the couch between them.

Halfway through the movie, both girls are hiding their faces from the horror in front of them. MC keeps covering her eyes with her hands every few moments while Jessy occasionally pulls the blanket up over her face. Jessy peeks over the top of the blanks just in time to see the mother's headless corpse leap from the attic window. Jessy squeals and covers her face again causing MC to erupt into a fit of laughter. Jessy gives her a pointed glance before grabbing a pillow and throwing it at her. After just over two hours of the most terrifying movie, either of them had ever watched MC grabs the remote and turns off the TV. Both of them just sit there staring at the now dark TV screen.

"Well, that was..." MC trails off.

"Horrifying." Jessy finishes.

"So, it's getting pretty late are you up for another movie?" MC asks.

"Duh! I am the horror queen after all!" Jessy exclaims making MC roll her eyes.

"Alright, I get to pick this time. How about Texas Chainsaw Massacre?"

"Sounds good to me. I heard those movies are based on a true story."

"Umm, yeah, I don't think that is true." MC laughs.

MC turns the TV back on, carefully selects the movie and presses play. The movie starts kind of slow but it isn't too long before Leatherface starts killing innocent people. The movie hadn't been on very long when MC looks over at Jessy and notices a strange expression on her face. She stares at her for a moment when she suddenly looks over and grabs her arm.

"Did you hear that?" Jessy asks in a panic-stricken voice.

"Oh but you're not paranoid at all are you?" MC laughs at her.

"No, I'm serious MC." She pushes the blankets off of herself and stands up. "I'm going to make sure all the doors are locked."

"Whatever you say, horror queen."

After a few minutes, Jessy comes running back into the room. "MC, someone is trying to get in the back door!"

"Ok, that's enough scary movies for you. I think it's time we call it a night." MC says and just as she finishes the words the power suddenly goes out.

"We have to call the police!" Jessy grabs her phone off the table.

"And tell them what Jessy? That we were watching horror movies, the power went out and now you're losing your mind?"

"My phone isn't working. It says no signal." Jessy grabs MC's phone and looks at the screen. "Yours doesn't have a signal either? This is bad."

MC starts to tell her she's being overly dramatic when suddenly a chainsaw starts up just outside the living room window making both girls scream. Jessy motions for MC to be quiet, grabs her hand, and pulls her up the stairs to her bedroom using her cell phone as a flashlight. She walks over to the walk-in closet and starts feeling along the wall. MC cocks her head to the side and watches Jessy in confusion when suddenly Jessy finds what she is looking for and pulls a portion of the wall out to reveal a hidden room. She grabs her and pushes her into the room before walking in herself and placing the portion of the wall back over the entrance.

"Do I even want to know why you have a hidden room in your closet?"

"It's a long story but hopefully if whoever is out there manages to get in they won't be able to find us." She holds her phone up in the air trying once again to get a signal. "Damn it. Did hey do something to the phones?" She says trying hard not to panic.

"I'm sure there is a logical explanation for all of this even the chainsaw. You have neighbors maybe one of them had a good reason to use be using one."

Jessy presses her hand over MCs mouth to get her to stop talking. The noises from the chainsaw are getting louder as if they are inside the house. The chainsaw turns off and footsteps can be heard ascending the stairs. The footsteps get louder and louder until they are just outside the hidden room. Suddenly the door is pulled open and there is a quick flash of light. Sounds of laughter fill the air and it takes a few moments before the girls calm down enough to catch on to what is happening.

"What the hell?!" Jessy yells.

"You should have seen the look on your faces," Richy says and high-fives Dan.

"Oh wait, you can see it because I took a picture," Dan says shaking his phone at them and then laughs some more. Jessy reaches for the phone but Dan pulls it away. "Oh no, you don't."

"How did you turn the power off and what about our cellphones?" Jessy asks.

"Oh, we cut the power off outside where it connects to the house," Richy says.

"For the phones, we used a signal jammer. You'd be surprised what you can find on the internet and they are pretty inexpensive too." Dan adds.

"Honestly, I'm not sure which one of you guys I am disappointed in more," Jessy says before pushing past Richy and storming out the door only for him to follow her.

"Hey boo, welcome to Duskwood." Dan smirks.

MC angrily takes a step toward him. "Listen here, Dan-iel An-der-son" she emphasizes and pokes his chest with each syllable. "This. was. not. funny."

"You're right it wasn't funny." He says with a serious tone, "it was fucking hilarious!" He starts laughing again.

MC storms out and makes her way down the stairs and into the living room with him close behind her.

"You assholes better turn my power back on and get that dirty thing," she points to the chainsaw, "out of here."

"Yeah yeah, we will." Dan rolls his eyes.

"So does this mean we've officially dethroned the Horror Queen?" Richy jokes and nudges Dan.

"Yes! I'm going to be posting that picture all over social media with the caption horror queen: dethroned"

"Ugh, I hate you both." Jessy huffs.

[mesillusionssousecstasy]

TSITP 2x06 - "Love Fest" : Quotes

"- I don't know I'm kind of happy here, and not in a pharmaceutically induced way. (Skye) - And I want you to be happy. I want you to know them. (Julia) - Do you? Because it kind of feels like you've kept me away and only told me all the bad stuff. But, I don't know, I mean, this place is king of lime our last tie to them. (Skye) - (...) Just.... don't be surprised if the phone doesn't ring. (Julia) - I know you genuinely believe that you're gonna get closure by selling this house, but you're not. You never will. (Skye) - What makes you so sure? (Juila) - Because you're not selling it for closure or for money or any of the other reasons. You're selling it for confirmation. That you could... that we could never belong here. That if you tried, it would just be shitmas all over again. (Skye) "- Don't tell me you bought your own Christmas gifts, too. (Julia) - Hey, at least I'm guaranteed to get exactly what I want. (Susannah) (...) - Can you just quit with the martyr mentality? Jesus, you're making her out to be like Meredith Blake or whatever he name is from The Parent Trap." (Susannah) - So you think I made it up? (Julia) - Mom, obviously not. I mean, your dad was an emotionally withholding prick. And Aunt Susannah was in denial about her parents' shittiness. But the moment Conrad and Jeremiah came to you with a version of their house and their family that didn't fit, you just shut down. I mean, instead of hearing them out, you got rid of all their suff and took the first offer on the table? Mom. You have the biggest heart, and it really sucks to see you close it off because of the past." (Skye)

"- Okay. So, I know things aren't going so great right now, but it's always the darkest before the dawn, right? (Jeremiah) - It's over. (Conrad) - No. Our last memory here can't be this. Everyone miserable and defeated. I mean, this place deserves a better goodbye than that. (Belly) - Like what? My mom came to the beach house with Susannah for the first time after her dad died. And it was supposed to be just the two of them, but Susannah hated how empty the house felt, so she decided to throw a huge party. Everyone was dancing and drinking, and they went swimming at midnight. And Susannah said it was like Gatsby or something. So I say that we throw a party, too." (Belly)

"- But, yes, Taylor does have some good therapy in her back pocket, despite her questionable sources. You... tend to either live way up here, where everything is awesome, or way down here, where everything's shit." (Steven)

"- You know those places you always end up in your dreams? You know, your subconscious brain takes you there 'cause it's a safe space in real life? (Jeremiah) - Yeah. (Belly) - This house is that for me. And after today, I'll only ever get to swim in this pool in my dreams. It's weird. (Jeremiah) - Well... I mean, if if time is running out... (Belly) - You did not just do that. (Jeremiah) - Sorry. You were going dark. I had to save you from yourself. (Belly) - Is that all you got? (Jeremiah) - Yeah! No! (Belly) - You know, I never thought we were gonna lose this place. Did you? (Belly) - No. Never. (Jeremiah) - I always thought I loved this place as much as I possibly could. Now I... I can't help but think I didn't love it enough." (Belly)

"- Babe? (Milo) - Yes, baby, I'm-I'm here. (Taylor) - When are you coming back? I'm trying to write some new songs, but I need my muse next to me." (Milo)

"- Uh, gin for Skye. (Jeremiah) - Who drinks gin? (Belly) - Old people and Skye." (Jeremiah)

"- Oh, no. What, your I.D. didn't work, Mr. Herbertson? (Jeremiah) - Fuck off. At least I have one. (Conrad) - What? Listen, it's 'cause I don't need one, all right? Jumper and I are tight. You know, we're, like, bros. Come one, how hard could it be? Watch and learn. (Jeremiah) - Oh, look at that face. (Conrad) - So, what? Do you want to, like, pay someone to go in and buy it for us or... ? Try a different store? (Jeremiah) - Yeah. Hop a few towns over, where they don't know us as well? (Conrad) - Yeah, I just don't think that anyone is gonna buy your Guam I.D. (Belly) - I would love to hear your plan, Isabel. (Conrad) - Why don't I just go in and ask? (Belly) - That's not gonna work. (Conrad) - He's right, it's not gonna work. (Jeremiah) - Okay." (Belly)

"- No. No, no, I'm not. (Belly) - Oh? (Jumper) - I'm gonna tell you the truth, and then you can decide if you want to help me out. Uh, so here's the deal. It's been a really crappy six weeks. (Belly) - Yeah, I, I heard about their mom. (Jumper) - And I'm sure, um, you heard the house was for sale. (Belly) - Was? (Jumper) - It actually sold this morning. So tonight is our last night here, for, like, ever. (Belly) - Whoa. That blows. (Jumper) - Yeah, I know. It really, really blows. Have you ever just had, like, the shittiest day and all you want to do is just hang out with your friends and have a beer?" (Belly - Seriously Belly)

"- Let's get this in the car quick. And do not get pulled over on the way home, or I'll say you stole it while I was on the john. (Jumper) - I can't believe you just asked. (Jeremiah) - I can't believe it worked. (Conrad) - Come on, you guys. Not everything has to be so complicated. (Belly) - For me? (Jeremiah) - Yeah. (Belly) - What's you get me? (Jeremiah) - Drink it and see. (Belly) - Half cherry, half Coke. Your specialty. Nice. (Jeremiah) - Yeah. (Belly) - Where's mine? (Conrad) - You always say they're too sugary. (Belly) - Yeah, well, I'm thirsty, so too bad. Mm. It's too sugary. And I thought cocoa was your specialty." (Conrad)

"- All right, so what's the plan here? (Conrad) - Uh, I mean, it's a rager, right? (Belly) - So, go big. How big are we talking, Bells? (Jeremiah) - Right. I mean, are we talking, like.... Dad's Amex big or... ? (Conrad) - The sacred emergency Amex? Are you thinking what I'm thinking? (Jeremiah) - What? (Belly) - Blow-up furniture, strobe lights, bubble machines... the whole shebang. (Jeremiah) - Yes, yes and yes. (Belly) - Yes? Okay. Last one to fill a cart has to load it all in. Go! (Jeremiah) - Wait. Wait. Wait. Stop!" (Belly)

"- Retro vibes? (Steven) - Yeah. (Taylor) - That's sweet. He. I would come to this. I would at least stop by. (Steven) - Oh, my God. Please. You wouldn't even be on the guest list if you weren't throwing the party. No, but, look, I tagged Marisa and Dara. I mean, who else? (Taylor) - Please. Look, they're the biggest gossips in town. Everybody in Cousins will know about this party in no time. (Steven) - You think Shayla will come? (Taylor) - No. No, she in Ibiza. (Steven) - Oh. (Taylor) - And, yes, she calls it "Ib-eeth-a". (Steven) - No way. (Taylor) - No! You do that one more time, it's off the list. (Steven) - Whatever. Like you didn't put it on here specially for me. (Taylor) - Okay, yeah. Only because you and Belly forced me and my mom to watch your little dance routine ad nauseam. (Steven) - Okay, that is an overexaggeration! (Taylor) - 'Cause how I remember it is a little a flair with a leg kick." (Steven)

"- There is nothing fun in your cart. This is a party. (Belly) - These plates have glitter on 'em. (Conrad) - You need to get out more, Conrad. No, it's not that. Can we just talk about the elephant in the room that I feel like we both are pretending isn't there? (Belly) - Yeah. Of course. (Conrad) - I've been trying to figure out how to say it. How to apologize for that day. Susannah's funeral. (Belly) - Belly, you don't have to apologize for that. (Conrad) - Please. Just let me say this. I never meant to make that day about me. I was awful to you. I mean, I'm so ashamed of how I acted. It's just not how I wanted the day to go at all. I wanted to be there for you. That's why I went to go find you in the rec room. It's not fine. It wasn't fine. And I saw Aubrey and it's not like we were together anymore. It's not like I had any right. (Belly) - Of course you did. I was having a panic attack. I just crumbled. Felt like I couldn't breathe. Aubrey was just the one who found me. I really wish it was you. (Conrad) - Hey, Jere. We almost done. (Belly) - Cool. Uh, hurry up then. (Jeremiah) - Leave 'em around so everybody can take pictures at the party. We got to get one of all of us together. Like Susannah made us do every summer. (Belly) - That's a good idea." (Jeremiah)

"- Okay, but so I part my teeth first and then stick my tongue out? (Skye) - What are you guys talking about? (Belly) - Apparently Skye's never kissed anybody. (Taylor) - Which is completely normal and fine. (Belly) - I know. Externally imposed societal expectations of "normal" have no effect on me. That being said, I've decided that I am ready and willing and would like to know what to do with the various parts of my mouth when it meets another mouth. (Skye) - You want to take this one? I mean, Belly's the expert. Cam, Jere, Conrad.... (Taylor) - Taylor. (Belly) - What was it like kissing all them? Was it different? And in what ways? And feel free to be as technical as humanly possible. (Skye) - Yeah, Belly, spare no detail. What happened? (Taylor) - Um, me first kiss with Cam was really, really sweet. And with Conrad, I wasn't even in my body. I think I kind of blacked out. Uh, and with... Jeremiah, ... I thought it would be really weird 'cause we've been friends for so long, but.... It was surprisingly really hot. Like, really, really hot. Pretty hot. (Belly) - Well, then, out of all three, who would you kiss again? (Skye) - Isn't it obvious? (Taylor) - No comment. (Belly) - But is there ever a situation in which it's, like, all teeth and no tongue? (Skye) - Stop let yourself be in the moment and everything else will come naturally. (Belly) - Yeah. Just make sure they moisturize. (Taylor) - Care to explain? (Belly) - Milo is obsessed with lip balm. It honestly changes the game. (Taylor) - Try not to overthink it. Okay? I mean, your first kiss is supposed to feel like a dream. It there's any place where dreams come true, it's here." (Belly)

"- And Jeremiah's been swallowed by the garage. (Conrad) - You know, I always hated when Mom made us take these photos. It's like she knew we'd want them later though. (Jeremiah) - Oh, dude. No. We're so young. I can barely even remember some of those summers. (Conrad) - What if it all fades? All our memories of her. (Jeremiah) - It won't. Hey. When the movers get that stuff to Boston, the first thing I'm gonna do is I'm gonna find that picture Mom painted of you last summer. Because I never want to forget that thing. (Conrad) - You suck. (Jeremiah) - I think a museum might take it. I'm being honest with you. (Conrad) - All right. Get out of here. (Jeremiah) - I think everyone deserves to get to see Greek god Jeremiah." (Conrad)

"- Hey, what's in there? (Belly) - Oh, you know, bunch of stuff. (Jeremiah) - Oh, my God! Susannah's roller skates. I haven't seen these in forever. (Belly) - Right? (Jeremiah) - Wow. You think they fit? (Belly) - Okay, just don't throw up on anyone doing spins, all right? (Jeremiah) - That was one time. (Belly) - I had to throw that shirt away. (Jeremiah) - Okay. What else is in here? Let's see. I actually have this one, uh, taped on the mirror in my bedroom. (Belly) - Yeah. Look at how you're mooning over Conrad. (Jeremiah) - It was a long time ago. (Belly) - Really? 'Cause it seemed like you were looking at him like that earlier. (Jeremiah) - No. I wasn't. (Belly) - At the store. Felt like I was... walking in on something. (Jeremiah) - Uh, it's... it's kind of hard to explain. I mean, I think.... sometimes you're getting over your past and-and moving on in-in the present all at the same time. I don't know. Does that make any sense?" (Belly)

"- You look hot. (Taylor) - Really? It's not too much? (Belly) - No. Jeremy's gonna love it. (Taylor) - What? (Belly) - Mmm-mm. You've been looking at him all day like he's this ice cream cone you're dying to lick. (Taylor) - Taylor! Shh! Please. (Belly) - Sorry. (Taylor) - That's so... Mm, it's just... (Belly) - It's complicated. (Taylor) - Yeah, no that's exactly what he said to me. After he told me that he didn't kiss me during the truth or dare because, if he started kissing me, he wouldn't be able to stop. (Belly) - Belly, that's, like, Wattpad-level hot. (Taylor) - I know. (Belly) - You could sell that. (Taylor) - I know. But then... I don't know... there was..., like, this weird moment with Conrad today. (Belly) - I don't want to talk about Conrad. He really hurt you. (Taylor) - I know. It was probably just echoes. You know? (Belly) - It sounds messy. You know, just be careful, okay? (Taylor) - Yeah. No, you're right. Right. Uh, yeah. I will be. You know, besides, like, tonight is about something bigger. Yeah. It's party time, Yeah? (Belly) - You got this? (Taylor) - Yeah. (Belly) - All right, get dressed quick. (Taylor) - Okay." (Belly)

"- Oh, my God. (The gang) - Oh, my God, Marisa, I'm so glad you were in town. (Belly) - Oh, my God, me too. The gang's back together. (Nicole) - Yeah. I mean... Kind of. (Dara) - I heard about Gigi's dad. That sucks. (Belly) - Okay, she's fine. There's a documentary crew following her, and she thinks she's the next Kim K. (Dara) - Dara, you signed an NDA. You're not supposed to say anything. (Marisa and Nicole) - Okay, who cares? She told literally everyone. (Dara) - Tell me you didn't miss this drama. (Nicole) - No, I actually... I really did. (Belly) - We missed you. (The gang) - Oh, all right. I will be right back." (Belly)

"- Whoa! - Oh, shit. (Cam) - You don't need to hurt yourself to get my attention. (Jeremiah) - Uh, I got to get another one. So I'll BRB." (Belly)

"- No, I don't think so. (Steven) - Right. O... (Conrad) - Look, I'm rooting for you, bro, just don't fucking break her heart again. (Steven) - Says the guy who's been following Taylor around all night. (Conrad) - Oh, uh, no, I fully cop to that. Come one, man, who's she fooling, you know? (Steven) - You know she has a boyfriend, right? Just... Technically. (Conrad) - Okay, but he's all wrong for her, so... (Steven) - All right, all right. I'm not snitching. I'm just saying, bro. Be careful." (Conrad)

"- If that's gin, I'm killing you. (Conrad) - Aw, it's tequila, come on. (Jeremiah) - Okay, cups up. Listen, no matter how much time passes or how far apart we are, we're always gonna love you guys, okay? (Jeremiah) - All right? All right? - Aw, Jeremy, you cheeseball. (Taylor) - All right, to the last night!"

"- So, is she here? (Milo) - Yeah, I mean, she's around somewhere. (Skye) - Sick. Do you want to give me a direction? Like, east, west, something? (Milo) - We don't know where she is, dude. Sorry (Cam) - Yeah, I mean, she's probably wherever Steven is, so... (Skye) - Then that's where I'll be. (Milo) - What was that? (Cam) - Potentially toxic stew of masculinity masquerading as burning love? (Skye) - Right, and you just stirred it all up. (Cam) - Yeah. (Skye) - We got to warn Taylor. (Cam) - We should find Taylor. (Syke) (...) - I feel like we fulfilled our duty. You know? (Skye) - Yeah. (Cam) - Like, whatever happens next is in the hands of fate and Milo's creepily moisturized lips. (Skye) - I cannot believe that dude drove over 300 miles to make, like, this grand declaration of love for Taylor. (Cam) - I mean, is that, like, a dude thing? Acting on pure instinct and bravado and giving no fucks. (Skye) - It's definitely not a Cam thing. (Cam) - I don't know, maybe it should be. You know, life is short. Cellular decline awaits us all. These vessels are fleeting and finite, no? (Skye) - Yeah, I guess I kind of do have a minor tendency to play it safe. (Cam) - Major tendency. No judgments. (Skye) - You ever been skinny dipping? (Cam) - Is that an invitation? (Skye) - Oh. No. I mean, I wasn't... Uh, no. I was just talking about this, this one time last summer, a bunch of my friends went skinny dipping, and I chickened out, and I still regret it. (Cam) - Like you're gonna regret not getting on that boat? (Skye) - You know what? I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna get on that damn boat. (Cam) - You know... if we are being bold... I was wondering... maybe I could kiss you? I mean, totally feel free to say no. My bad if I was, like, misreading... (Skye) - Yes. (Cam) - Yeah?" (Skye)

"- Taylor you win. (Steven) - I win what? (Taylor) - This. Whatever we're doing. First person to admit they-they caught feelings loses, right? So, I lose. You win. (Steven) - Okay, drama queen. (Taylor) - Stop, Stop. I'm being serious right now, okay? I like you. Even when you were just my little sister's annoying best friend. Like, you were always just this person who was around, and now you're someone I miss when they're not around. I don't know how it happened, or when it happened... But now, you're my favorite person. Come on. Say something, please." (Steven) "- Thank you. (Belly) - Cheers. (Jeremiah) - Hey, where is everyone? I mean, we have to take that, uh, group picture. (Belly) - Oh, I can track them down if you want. Uh, last time I saw Steven he was with Tay-Tay, actually. What's going on there? Yeah, this house has seen its fair share of make-outs. Yeah. You know I had my first kiss in this house? (Jeremiah) - Really? (Belly) - Mm-hmm. And my second, on the same night. (Jeremiah) - Wow. Scandalous. (Belly) - Yeah. (Jeremiah) - Whose hearts were you breaking? (Belly) - You remember Christy Turnduck? (Jeremiah) - Turducken? (Belly) - Yes. The Turducken, yeah. Uh, and then, um, our neighbour at the time. Uh, what was his name? (Jeremiah) - Oh, Clay Bertolet. (Belly) - Um... Yes. Yeah. - No way. You know, he once broke a window in the garage and blamed me. (Belly) - Really? (Jeremiah) - Yeah. (Belly) - He was a good kisser, though. Not as good as you." (Jeremiah)

"- Fight! (Partygoer) - Bro, you need to go. (Steven) - I don't think that's up to you. (Milo) - Can we just go outside and-and cool off a moment, please? (Taylor) - She doesn't even want you here. (Steven) - Shut up, Steven. (Taylor) - Oh, trust me, she wants me. Everywhere. All the time. (Milo) - Can you not do that right now? (Taylor) - Oh! (crowd) - Oh, my God. (Taylor) - Steven. (Jeremiah) - Babe, this is for you. (Milo) - I literally don't even want this. (Taylor) - What is happening? (Belly) - No idea. (Taylor) - Come on, man! - Kick his ass, Steven. - You got it, Steven. - Come on! Get over here! Help! - Milo, stop! You're embarrassing me right now. (Taylor) - Man, fuck this. Come one, Taylor, let's go. These people are too pedestrian for us anyways. (Milo) - These people are my friends. Do you even know me? Like, at all? (Taylor) - Babe, what are you talking about? You're my girl. (Milo) - What's my middle name? (Taylor) - .... (Milo) - Yeah, I can't do this anymore. It's over. (Taylor) - Taylor.... (Milo) - It's Madison. Her middle name is Madison." (Steven)

"- Guys, so I've been texting with my mom, and she was able to put a condition into the sale. Since the buyers are only gonna use this place as a vacation home, they're agreed to let you rend the place for one week every summer. (Syke) - Wait... (Belly) - Wait, are you serious? We get to come back? Oh, my God, Skye, this is amazing. Oh, my God! (Jeremiah) - No, it's not. You can tell your mom thanks, but no. (Conrad) - Come on, Conrad, at least hear them out. It's over. Why are you the only one that gets to make this decision? (Jeremiah) - Jere, we're not gonna pay another family to rent our house. (Conrad) - This isn't our house anymore. (Jeremiah) - Exactly. Let it go. (Conrad) - Yeah, 'cause you're an expert at that. (Jeremiah) - Jere. (Belly) - No, no, this is the shit he does. When things aren't perfect, instead of trying to fix it, he just decides to throw it away. And it's not just the house. You did it to Belly, too. You came to me, you fucking begged me for my blessing to be with her. (Jeremiah) - Is that true? (Belly) - Jere, that was between us. (Conrad) - Yeah, it's fucking true. You know, when shit got tough, he couldn't handle it, and he dropped you. (Jeremiah) - Shut up, Jere. Don't use me to get at him. (Belly) - Belly, come on. (Jeremiah) - You know what? I don't want to be a part of this, okay? (Belly) - Belly... (Jeremiah) - Way to go, Jere. I mean, real classy. (Conrad) - Yeah. You're a real fucking asshole, you know that? (Jeremiah) - Grow up, Jere. (Conrad) - I did grow up! I watched Mom slip away a little bit every single day, while you were at college or with Belly or moping around after you screwed that up. (Jeremiah) - Jere, you know for a fact that I came home every second I could. (Conrad) - But it wasn't every day. (Jeremiah) - Okay, Okay. What do you want, a medal? (Conrad) - You know, I looked up to you every day of my life. And when people said that you were better than me, I wouldn't mind because I believed them, too. But you're not. Now I finally see you for who you really are. (Jeremiah) - What's that? (Conrad) - A coward. You're not someone to look up to. You're not even somebody I want to know." (Jeremiah)

"- Belly! Belly, come back inside. I'm not dragging your dead body out of the ocean if you drown out there. Come out of the water, Belly. (Conrad) - Leave me alone. (Belly) - I can't. (Conrad) - No. What are you... No! Hey! Hey! Hey, put me down! (Belly) - You're drunk, Belly. (Conrad) - Just put me down! Conrad! (Belly) - I'm not gonna put you down. (Conrad) - Let go! Let go! (Belly) - Belly... Come on. Let me help you. Come on. (Conrad) - J-Just go, okay? (Belly) - I'm not leaving you, Belly. (Conrad) - But you already did. (Belly) - Why didn't you tell me you went to Jeremiah about us? Why? Why didn't... (Belly) - I don't know. (Conrad) - If I had known... that you'd done that... that you cared that much about me, and about us.... If I had known, then I would've fought for you. (Belly) - What do you mean? (Conrad) - Fought for us. I would've fought for us. I mean, at prom and at the funeral. I mean, I... would've been there for you, through everything. - I thought you knew. (Conrad) - From the moment we kissed on the beach... (Belly) - I thought you knew. (Conrad) - Then why? Why? Why did you throw it all away? Why? I th... I thought that we loved each other. (Belly) - We did. (Conrad) - I guess not enough." (Belly)

"- I'm really sorry about what happened. (Steven) - It's okay. He shouldn't have come all this way and made a scene like that. I mean, I feel kind of bad. I mean, I don't know... (Taylor) - So, look, what I was saying earlier... (Steven) - You take it all back? (Taylor) - What, do you want me to? You have to say what you want, Taylor. It's your move. (Steven) - You remembered my middle name. (Taylor) - Taylor Madison Jewel." (Steven) "- Belly, come swim with us. Yeah. (The gang) - Are you okay? (Nicole) - Everything is wrong. I promised Susannah I wouldn't lose the magic, but it's gone." (Belly)

"- Mommy. I need you. I'm at the summer house. Susannah's house, except it's not hers anymore, and everything is going wrong, and the boys may never speak to each other again. Just come, please, okay? Just come, please, okay? Just come and fix it.

[arcane-sync]

I'm just... not in a good way. Kind of in a very bad way, actually.

Still dragging my way through school. Which is fine at this point. No new struggles there. Just... several house problems have come up as well, and my husband has done fuck all to address them. I am moderately germaphobic, so it is very literally difficult to do certain tasks. Yet I find myself doing the litter, cleaning the dishes, and hell, even some plumbing. The sinks have been draining slowly, and cleaning the drain traps has been an actual nightmare. I asked him to at least clean out the bucket I used and put on the back porch. He emptied it, but he didn't rinse them out with the hose. I've had to do construction and handyman work. I need to figure out how to drain the hot water heater. Plus normal stuff like cleaning the counters, the floors, the toilet. I CAN do these things, even with the phobia, but it is so, so mentally taxing. Plus the litter and dishes are supposed to be his chores, and he complains about them not getting done. He just... doesn't do it. Says he doesn't have time, doesn't fit into his schedule.

The cat has been misbehaving as well. She has decided my husband's clothes are a good place to go bathroom. And my husband is loosing his temper over it, which is... very literally triggering me. My dad would lose his temper with our cats growing up and kick them across the room. My husband isn't hurting our cat, but it still triggers me that he is getting angry with the cat for doing cat things. It's not her fault. It's our fault for not training her properly and/or not seeing to her medical needs. He has been complaining about this for weeks, but he hasn't fixed anything. I finally decided to just schedule the vet appointment myself. He bought cleaning supplies to deodorize her messes, but he hasn't used them properly. He just throws the clothes in the washer without running it, making the washer smell. I should mention I am ALLERGIC to cat urine. He KNOWS this. I have asked him to clean these things. But again... doesn't fit his schedule. He just gets mad about it instead. I am just trying to keep up with the problem as best I can.

My physical health is struggling, mostly because the air quality is terrible where I live. It is causing several different health issues to flare.

Counseling has been... hard. Good progress. Amazing progress. I have met a few new parts. But with that comes... well... difficult memories. Difficult emotions. New things I do not know how to deal with. New parts to take care of. I need to publicly state I am not ashamed of them or what they've been through, because I know they fear that. It is just... hard. For me and them.

Since my mental AND physical health is flagging, older mental health issues are beginning to rear their heads again. Stuff that I usually have a handle on. Self harm just to make everything... stop... slow down for a while. I have an old eating disorder rearing its head too. I've never known exactly what it is, never been diagnosed. I'll go days at a time without eating. And when I do, there's a 50/50 chance I'll keep the food down. Sometimes I'll throw it up due to disgust with myself for eating, and sometimes its due to distrusting the food, that it is somehow contaminated (and that is 100% a trauma thing, growing up in a house with food that was frequently infested. Don't know if those instances count as flashbacks or not).

I am... scared to admit to struggling. Not with my relationship with my school now. It's pretty clear that any signs of mental health struggles will be confronted with great bias. Hell, even my marriage problems. That is one of the areas they drilled me on, saying that a poor marriage was a sign that I was unfit for the program.

I find myself missing the psych ward. The permission to just... focus on myself and my own recovery.

I am... not okay.