#it actually reminded me a lot of jane austen

[coquelicoq]

i think of all the books i've ever read, le père goriot takes the prize for taking the longest to get interesting, as it doesn't happen until the very last sentence. i'm just bopping along for over 400 pages of whatever and then he slaps me in the face with the last sentence and immediately peaces out. okay you got my attention, just in time to throw it away. respect.

[neptuneiris]

could you pretend to be in love? (05/10)

The Challenge

pairing: modern!aemond × fem!reader (fake dating)

summary: new sensations envelop you when you are with Aemond, especially when you learn more details about his relationship with Alys and an unexpected news fills you with nerves.

word count: 6.6k

previous part • series masterlist

new chapter finally!

probably won't be as exciting as the other chapters, however...there is something here going on and I want you guys to figure it out in the comments and we'll see if you are catching what I am👀

the next chapter will be full of drama, believe me, so expect it to come very soon as I'm focusing on finishing writing this story without making new ones and considering I have no more fics pending, just this one🤗

now yes beautiful people, enjoy!

warnings: cursing, language, mentions of cheating.

@melsunshine @at-a-rax-ia @jxdegodfrey @ttkttt @yentroucnagol @kate-to-the-ki @iamavailablesstuff @bluerskiees @urmomsgirlfriend1 @toodlesxcuddles @rosie-posie08 @iloveallmyboys @bellaisasleep @deliaseastar @cupcakesminicakescupcakes @dixie-elocin @lilostif16 @wickedfrsgrl @a-beaverhausen @a-beaverhausen

The sound of birds in the distance reaches your ears.

Today the sky is cloudy, with no chance of rain, the temperature is pleasant and you are thankful that there are no intense sun rays burning your skin when you are outdoors.

You find yourself immersed in your physics homework, sitting on the bleachers of the sports field, where you can only hear the sound of the birds and also faintly the sound of the soccer team training.

You sit in tranquility, undisturbed and unobserved by anyone, when suddenly the sound of footsteps stepping on the metal bleachers pulls you out of your concentration.

You look up and see Aemond approaching, a small smile on his face. You return his greeting with a shy smile and make a small space beside you for him to take a seat.

Aemond plops down nonchalantly next to you, letting out a sigh, then curiously observes what you're doing on your lap.

"What are you doing?"

You deliberately ignore his question and instead, take a loose leaf you had tucked away among your folder, pick it up and hold it out to him, with a gentle yet expectant look.

Aemond takes it and frowns, reading what you've written on it, only getting more confused.

'Pride and Prejudice' by Jane Austen.

'Romeo and Juliet' by William Shakespeare.

"And what is this?"

"Have you already forgotten my conditions of the contract?" you tell him amused, "For every party I go with you to, you have to read one of my favorite books or watch one of my favorite movies or shows," you remind him, "So now, you have to pick one of these two of my favorite books."

Aemond rolls his eye with amusement.

"And why exactly do I have to pick one of these two? Don't they seem... repetitive and so usual?"

"That's what people always say, obviously they know these books by the title and their authors, but how many people actually read these books?" you look at him with your tone full of expectation, "I'm sure you haven't read either of them."

He shrugs indifferently, with his nonchalant air.

"So? There are movies," he says confused, "I haven't seen them either, but I know how they both end. In the end they both get married," he points to the title of 'Pride and Prejudice', "And here they both die together and their families stop being rivals," he points to 'Romeo and Juliet'.

You let out a small chuckle at his witty response, but you are not intimidated.

"Yes but there are a lot of things that in the movies they don't show, so... what will be your choice, Mr. Aemond?"

He lets out a laugh.

"Well, we'll see how this 'Romeo and Juliet' is," he decides.

"Perfect."

And when he least expects it, from your backpack you take the book, handing it to him with your clear satisfaction and he still confused but amused examines the book in his hands.

"Good, then give me the other one at once, because there's a new party on Saturday," he tells you, completely grabbing your attention.

You open your eyes wide and stare at him in disbelief and surprise.

"What? So soon?" you ask with clear irritation and disappointment in your look and tone.

"Why are you so disappointed? After all you come out on top too since I'm going to read two of your shitty boring books," he says as he raises them slightly in the air.

"My books aren't shitty and they aren't boring!" you exclaim indignantly giving him a gentle tap on the shoulder, "And it's okay, I just didn't think it would be so soon."

"We'll just go for a little while. Then we can both go get some dinner and I'll drop you off at your house early. Sound good?"

"Yeah, it's fine."

And as soon as you say that, you also hand him the second book with a good forced look, making Aemond laugh and take that book too.

"As much as I like seeing you with a wrinkled nose, take it off or it's going to stay that way," he says amused, crinkling it between his fingers briefly, making you laugh and you immediately move his hand away from your face.

Then he says goodbye to you, before getting up and heading off to his next class. And also not before telling you that he'll see you at lunch.

And as you watch him walk away, you tell yourself that these little interactions are part of pretending, since after all, the guys on the soccer team can see them clearly from this distance.

However, that slight fear returns to yourself that things may get more complicated than you expect.

Fortunately, the rest of the week goes smoothly, the teachers seem to be in a good mood and the homework is not heavy.

And you clearly continue to pretend along with Aemond.

Both he and you continue to act as usual, he is attentive and affectionate when you are together in full view of everyone at school. His gestures and looks full of complicity make you feel special, but at the same time remind you that it's all part of a game.

You also keep your word with Helaena, taking time to sit together for lunch at break time and occasionally Alysanne joins in as well, where you gradually start telling her about Cregan.

Until the day of the party arrives.

You tell your dad that you're going to a birthday celebration for a class friend, nothing big and everything quiet.

Then you opt for a pair of black pants, low-heeled ankle boots, a strappy blouse in a vibrant shade of cherry and a jacket to complement the outfit. And once you look in the mirror, you feel ready, although the nerves begin to settle in your stomach.

And of course, Aemond arrives promptly at your house.

His relaxed expression and smile greet you before you even get into the car. And driving to the party, the atmosphere is comfortable and calm.

And when you both arrive at the house where the party is, it's not a big, loud party like the previous one. But the atmosphere is full of energy, there is music, people dancing, drinks and cigarettes.

And you together with Aemond follow the same procedure to pretend to be a couple in love.

This time, you both decide to be more present with Aemond's friends. You sit between Trevor and Aemond, who immediately puts an arm around your shoulders, pulling you towards him, starting to make conversation with his friends.

And as always, he makes sure you're always included, just like during lunch in the cafeteria.

And while everyone is talking, the guys and Aemond make you laugh, feeling more and more comfortable with them. And as the night goes on, you realize how natural it feels to be next to Aemond, as if you fit perfectly into his world, at least for tonight.

When he at your side looks at you attentively and with some curiosity.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah," you nod nonchalantly, "Why?"

"Just asking," he shrugs, then lifts his hand and tucks a lock of your hair behind your ear, "Can I get you something to drink?"

You shake your head.

"I don't want to drink beer or anything like that."

"Then a soda? Or water?"

You let out a small laugh.

"Okay, soda's fine."

"Alright. I'll be back soon," he says then leaves a soft kiss on your forehead and gets up to head towards the kitchen.

He leaves for a moment and you are left talking to his friends, who are a lot of fun and in fact, because of them and Aemond, you begin to understand lacrosse as such, since that's all they talk about, besides their nonsense.

And also about some of the girls they like.

And also in that small moment that Aemond leaves, as you briefly observe the party around you, you see Alys with her group of friends in another corner.

You just casually watch them, you don't plan to give them any attention, but just as your eyes watch Alys, she watches you back.

And you are struck by how she says something to her friends with a smirk of superiority without taking her eyes off you and then everyone in her group watches you and laughs too.

You snort as you look away, as if you really care.

Aemond returns with your soda and only a glass of beer for himself, resuming conversation with both you and his friends, having a good time together.

Time passes and you feel the need to go to the bathroom, so you leave your now empty glass on the small table in the center.

"I'm going to go to the bathroom," you announce, catching his attention, starting to stretch a bit to get up.

"Do you want me to come with you?" he asks you thoughtfully, "I mean, wait for you outside."

"No need, don't worry. I'll be back soon," you assure him, standing up.

"Okay," he nods at you with a small smile.

With a nod, you walk away towards the second floor bathroom, where you'll mostly take a moment to recharge your batteries before heading back to the party.

Luckily the bathroom is empty and you do everything you need to do without pressure.

Then you take a deep breath, allow yourself a brief moment of calm before returning to the party, wash your hands and mentally go over how you should behave around Aemond in front of everyone.

As you exit the bathroom, just down the hall, you notice Alys' presence in the area near the stairs.

You think about just ignoring her and walking past her, but when her eyes watch you, as if she is waiting for you, a mischievous smile curves her lips and she turns fully towards you, giving you her full attention.

"What do we have here," she mutters sarcastically, moving towards you while holding a red plastic cup in her hand.

You watch her completely unconcerned and walk past her, as you don't plan on dealing with her right now or ever.

"How does it feel to be Aemond's new pet?" she asks with a mocking laugh, planting herself in front of you, stopping your steps, "Or did you just think you could replace me so easily?"

Your heart begins to pound in your chest, but you stand your ground, reminding yourself that you will not let his words affect you, as his expression is filled with disdain.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," you reply calmly, trying not to give her the pleasure of seeing you affected by her comments.

She glares at you, before a sly smile spreads across her face.

"Oh, I'm sorry," she says with false sympathy, "I really thought you knew."

You frown.

"He's always done this, ever since we started dating," she says, "When we'd break up, he'd date the first girl in front of him as a pathetic attempt to replace me and make me jealous, so you're not the first and won't be the last, sweetie," she tells you with a fake pout, feigning pity for you.

You fix your gaze on Alys, feeling a mixture of anger and frustration coursing through your body. Who does she think she is to talk to you like that?

"I don't need your false sympathy," you reply with determination, your voice resonating louder than you expected, "What Aemond and I have has nothing to do with you."

Alys rolls her eyes in exasperation, as if your words are irrelevant to her.

"Oh, please," she replies dismissively, "Don't lie to yourself. He's always been like that, he's just looking to distract himself and you're just the last in line," she points out to you irrelevantly, "When we broke up, he was crying like a baby for me, begging me to get back together."

Your heart clenches at her words, with a surge of emotions surging through your chest.

For a moment, doubt takes hold of you.

Did Aemond really do that? Was he so affected by their breakup?

You tell yourself that maybe if he hadn't, he would never have asked you to do this. But this was mostly so that Alys would stop making a fool of him at school by cheating on him, not to get his attention and make her jealous... right?

"I'm not surprised you don't know," she continues to tell you dismissively, "But do you really think he loves you? Please," she snorts derisively, "He'll dump you in a few weeks when I give him the slightest hope because he's still crazy about me," she says superiorly, "Look at you and look at me. I know what he's into and that's definitely not you, especially you."

You try to ignore the stinging pain and keep your composure, clenching your jaw.

"I don't care what happened between you," you reply bravely, even if your voice shakes a little, "Ours is different."

She lets out a mocking laugh.

"Oh you poor little thing, you're so naive."

"If that's all, thank you so much for that vital information for my life," you tell her just as mockingly, walking past her, determined to leave her behind.

But just as you pass by her side, Alys moves along with you and purposefully slams your shoulder and arm with brutality, causing the beer in her hand to spill in a dull motion onto your chest and clothes.

The cold, sticky liquid slides down your blouse and pants, leaving you drenched and shocked by the suddenness of the moment.

You feel the liquid soak through your clothes and a shiver runs down your back. And you look down, watching in disbelief as the drink spreads through your clothes.

Then you look back at Alys, who has a mocking, amused look on her face.

"Oh, gosh, how clumsy of me," Alys scoffs, her tone of voice full of fake concern, "I'm really sorry, it was an accident."

You take a deep breath to contain your frustration, but her words spark a small spark of anger inside you. How can she be so brazen?

"An accident?" you repeat, disbelief in your voice as you stare at her with a frown.

Alys just smiles mischievously, enjoying your discomfort and what she just did to you.

"Enjoy the party, honey. But first, maybe you should clean yourself up," she says before turning away, leaving you soaking wet and clearly feeling very proud.

You don't even know what to do, feeling this way leaves you paralyzed for a moment, until you finally make your way back to the bathroom.

At the sink you further wet your clothes with water, which looks worse, but at least you won't stink of beer.

Drops of beer also splashed into your hair, so you wipe that off as well, feeling the humiliation wash over you and you don't even know exactly why.

But you do.

You look down at your ruined booties too, soaked from the front with beer and water.

The skin on your chest and collarbone feels chuckling from the beer, so you wipe it off too, when suddenly, there's a knock on the door.

"One moment!" you exclaim grumpily, still cleaning yourself.

"Y/N?"

You hear Aemond's worried voice outside.

"Fuck," you curse in a whisper.

"Are you okay?"

You bite the inside of your cheek and let out a long breath, already having the idea that you won't be able to hide this from him.

You were only supposed to come to the bathroom and you've already been late, of course he must have sensed something was wrong and come looking for you.

You leave the wet towel in the sink and open the door, where Aemond instantly notices you and opens his eye wide, seeing your clothes and some of your soaked hair.

"What happened?" he asks worriedly, moving quickly towards you, examining you.

You struggle to keep your composure, but can't, a bad mood overcomes you and you make your displeasure clear.

"Alys threw her drink on me," you finally say, stepping aside to let him go into the bathroom with you, reaching back for the damp towel to clean your skin.

Surprise crosses your face before it morphs into an expression of restrained fury and disbelief.

"What?"

You hiss, looking in the mirror at yourself as you wipe your sticky skin.

"Did she say something to you?" he asks, his voice serious but full of concern.

You let out a gesture of disbelief.

"She said things many things," you say seriously, not watching him for a moment, trying to dry your hair with the towel.

Aemond frowns, clearly annoyed.

He walks over to you and takes the towel from your hands, stopping your attempt to dry your hair. His gaze meets yours through the mirror, searching for answers.

"What things did dhe say?"

You sigh, feeling the weight of the situation on your shoulders.

"It doesn't matter, she just said bullshit," you reply evasively, looking away.

Aemond watches your face, urgently wanting you to look him in the eye, but you don't, you avoid his gaze and are obviously annoyed with the situation, which he doesn't blame you for.

He's annoyed too, because he knew he should have been near you to protect you if Alys is in the same place as the two of you.

He sighs in frustration, feeling the weight of responsibility on his shoulders, watching your soaked clothes and how you continue to clean yourself.

"I'm sorry," he murmurs sincerely, his voice full of regret, "You shouldn't have gone through this. She's totally out of her mind."

You remain silent for a moment, fighting the emotions that threaten to overwhelm you. As he looks at you with anguish and regret for not protecting you from Alys' comments and actions.

"It's not your fault," you finally say in a serious voice, still not looking at him, then set the damp towel down on the sink and inhale softly, "Can you take me home?"

Aemond nods, feeling guilty.

"Sure," he murmurs, "But first... you can put on my jacket," he says as he starts to take it off, "I'll be waiting outside."

He takes it off and gently hands it to you, his hand brushing against yours with a gesture of tenderness.

"Thanks," you murmur.

He exits the bathroom, closes the door and you remove your blouse and soaked jacket, leaving your bra down and immediately wrap his jacket around you, zipping it up almost to your throat.

With your clothes in your hands, you walk out of the bathroom and Aemond watches you silently, attentive and concerned, with a sadness and frustration in his eye that he can't hide.

He hates your distance.

A few moments ago the two of you were having a good time and now that Alys has done this... he hates that you are apart from him.

You both return to the party and Aemond doesn't even say goodbye to his friends, thinking he'll text them later, grabbing your shoulder and walking out of the house with you.

Together, you walk to his car in silence, where he doesn't dare to say a single word to you and you don't really want to talk either.

And all the way to your house, that nagging feeling doesn't leave your system.

But is it specifically because Alys spilled her drink on you or is it the interesting information she shared with you about Aemond?

You don't.

But you do.

Aemond tried to talk to you about what happened but you wouldn't let him.

You feel it's something you shouldn't make a big deal about. After all, he and you are not really 'dating'. So before he dropped you off at your house, you just reassured him that everything was fine and nothing more.

Now it's your father who drops you off at school on this day and you head towards your locker, immersed for a moment in thought.

You carelessly take your backpack off your shoulders to open it at the same time you open your locker, but as you do so, a polaroid falls to the floor.

You frown and bend down to pick it up, confused, since it's not yours.

And as you look at it, your heart begins to beat too hard in your chest as you see a picture of Aemond and Alys as if at a school dance or a party, both of them hugging.

But that's not what catches your attention, what does is seeing how there's is a picture of your face overlaid over where Alys' face should be, indicating just that, her replacement, a second place or temporary substitute.

But the thing about you and Aemond is not real.

So... why are you so affected by something you know isn't real?

It's a question that haunts your mind as you struggle to maintain your composure, beginning to tremble and feel your breathing heavy.

You swallow hard and press your lips together, when just then, you hear it...the giggles.

You raise your gaze and in the distance, you see Alys with her friends watching in your direction and laughing, clearly mocking you.

Although your relationship with Aemond is fake, the pain you feel at this moment is real.

And before you can react, Aemond's voice is suddenly heard.

"Hey, I was—

You turn your head towards him instantly and your eyes meet his, but his words hang in the air the moment he sees what you hold in your hands.

His soft expression slowly transforms from confusion to fury as he sees the picture. His whole face hardens completely and he purses his lips.

And sure enough, it's a matter of him realizing what's happening, as he hears Alys and her friends' laughter and looks in their direction, hardening his gaze even more.

"Aemond—

You try to speak but he instantly walks over to where Alys is standing without saying a word to you, taking the picture from your hands.

Your heart beats harder, opening your eyes wide and you want to walk towards him, to stop him, but somehow, you are paralyzed and you don't know exactly why.

Tension begins to feel in the air and you feel like your heart will burst out of your chest at any moment.

Aemond arrives in front of Alys with a determined look, his jaw tense and his fists clenched at his side. Instead of shouting, however, his voice is firm and controlled.

"From now on, I don't ever want to see you keep bothering my girlfriend with your fucking little girl pranks again, do you understand me?" he says angrily to then throw the photo at her.

The photo hits her face lightly and Alys looks up at him, surprised by the sudden intensity of his voice and his movements.

Instead of showing fear, however, her face hardens with an expression of disdain and disbelief.

"Oh, look who thinks he's the hero," she replies with her cynical smile, trying to hide her discomfort behind her façade of superiority, "I didn't know you had to protect your little girlfriend, Aemond. And come on, we were just joking."

Aemond clenches his fists, his jaw tense with frustration. But he continues to maintain his composure, his eye fixed on hers with determination.

"Oh yeah? You were just joking?" he repeats, "And the party thing on Saturday was a fucking joke too?"

Her face tenses slightly at the mention of the party, her smile fading momentarily before her regains his composure.

"That was an accident—

"Yeah, right. Everything to you is an accident, something you didn't meant to do, something that got out of hand. How could I not know about that, right? It's always the same fucking story with you."

She purses her lips.

"Who the fuck do you think you are to talk to me like that—

"Leave me and my girlfriend alone," he tells her slowly and clearly, "I'm not going to tell you again and I don't want to know that you're doing your shitty jokes again," he warns her, making it clear with his tone that he's not willing to tolerate her childish games anymore.

Alys recoils slightly at the annoyance and determination in his voice, her confidence waning slightly.

And before she can say anything else, Aemond turns and walks back along with you.

The students around you are still fully attentive to the confrontation, shocked and delighted by the drama, while you watch Aemond in awe of the way he has defended you.

"Come on," he murmurs to you in a softer, gentler way, closing your locker door and taking your hand, leading you with him away from the watchful eyes.

After what happened, he takes you with him to a nearby empty classroom and once inside, he gently closes the door behind him and turns to look at you, his expression attentive and full of concern.

He doesn't say anything right away and you just bite the inside of your cheek and lower your gaze, not knowing exactly what to say or what to do.

Until he exhales deeply, releasing the tension built up in his shoulders.

"Are you okay?" he asks, his voice soft and comforting as he watches you intently.

You nod slightly, though your hands still tremble slightly.

"I'm fine," you reply, trying to sound unconcerned.

He sighs, tearing his gaze away from yours for a moment.

"I'm so sorry. I-I didn't... I didn't expect something like this to happen. And she..." he runs a hand across his forehead in frustration, "It's not fair for you to be dealing with this."

"You have nothing to apologize for, Aemond," you tell him softly and sincerely, "But thank you for standing up for me."

He sighs.

"And you don't have to thank me, Y/N. It was the least I could do. But I promise you this is the last time something like this happens."

"You can't control what Alys does or doesn't do."

He exhales again.

"I know, but we never agreed that you would go through these bad times in the contract."

"Hey," you take a step towards him, your gaze soft as you see the frustration and worry on his face, starting to get upset, "Aemond," you call his name in a calm manner, "It's okay. I'm fine. Yes, the party thing and today was difficult but..." you shrug, "I'm fine. It's nothing I can't handle."

Still the worry doesn't leave his face.

"Are you sure? At the party you were upset and I don't blame you, but I don't want this to affect between us. You were distant and now...

His words float in the air and you try to place a small, comforting smile in his direction, though it appears more of a grimace.

"We're fine," you assure him softly.

His gaze reflects a mixture of relief, watching you without another word, then briefly glancing around.

And then an idea seems to cross his mind and he watches you again, attentive.

"What do you say we skip this first class?"

"What?" you immediately inquire.

"I know you don't like skipping classes but just one missed class isn't going to hurt you."

You frown.

"And what do you want to do?"

He shrugs.

"Just talk."

You bite your lower lip, hesitant.

But it's only enough to see the look on Aemond's face and his posture, utterly determined and solely waiting for you, that you finally let out a resigned sigh and nod.

Soon the two of you are sitting in the bleachers, with almost no one around, just the cheerleading squad training in the corner of the huge soccer and lacrosse field.

The atmosphere is quiet and you like that, just like the last time you were here and he chose the book of 'Romeo and Juliet' to read.

And once both of you are silent, just looking around and feeling each other's presence, Aemond decides to speak.

"What did Alys say to you at that party?"

He dares in asking, his gaze searching yours with a mixture of curiosity and concern, while you remain silent for a moment, not expecting that he would try to bring up the subject again.

And inevitably Alys' words echo in your mind, leaving a bitter taste in your mouth.

And you don't understand why.

You don't understand why you feel this unpleasant sensation when you remember her words.

"Well, she wasn't very nice..." you're silent for a moment, "Actually she wasn't at all but..." you lick your lips and avert your gaze from him, focusing on the lacrosse field, "She called me... your new pet, a new pathetic attempt to replace her."

He frowns, his gaze hardening as he hears your words, incredulous and annoyed. And he doesn't need to say anything, his face speaks for itself.

"She said you did that all the time when you both broke up... you know," you clear your throat, "Going out with other girls to make her jealous so she'd come back to you. That I was just a distraction and that pretty soon you'd drop me the moment she gave you the slightest hope of getting back together."

His lips tighten into a line, closing his eye for a moment and shaking his head, still intent on your words. And you prepare to say the next thing more softly and tactfully.

"She also said that you cried to her and begged her to come back this last time you both broke up."

He snorts, more incredulous than ever.

"Of course she said that."

And before he can speak further, you feel the need to clarify your behavior a bit.

"I always acted with her as if we were a real couple," you clarify, "I wasn't bothered by what she said," what a fucking lie, "What bothered me was her talking to me that way and throwing her drink on me."

"No, no, it's okay, I understand that," he assures you instantly, in a soft voice, "But everything she said to you is not true."

You watch him with your parted lips, slightly surprised and beginning to feel your heart knot.

"It isn't?"

"No," he says more firmly, incredulous, "It's true that I begged her to get back together, but that was a while ago, practically in the beginning of our relationship when it was fun for her to break up and come back," he explains to you, serious and honest with his words, "I was crazy about her, I even grew to love her and gave her all of me. But I was just a fucking child experiencing his first love... and that wasn't enough for her."

His confession takes your breath away for a moment, revealing a vulnerability you didn't expect, watching his serious and frustrated face clearly from what happened at the party and an hour ago at your locker.

You have no idea what to say, not wanting to minimize his feelings from that time nor now by saying the wrong thing.

"It's also not true that I was dating other girls to make her jealous to get her to come back to me, I-I..." he shakes his head, "I've never been like that. And you're certainly no distraction or... my new pet," he says with distaste.

You let out a long breath.

"I'm sorry," you say softly, "She said it in a way that made me believe her. I don't know what I was thinking," you say sincerely, "And I'm also sorry she made you feel that way," you mumble, feeling a lump in your throat.

"Don't worry, it's okay," he says softly, with a bitter little smile and his gaze lowered.

He shakes his head regretfully, as if he's remembering a past he'd rather forget and you feel guilty.

"It's just..." he starts to say, "Why would I want to go back to her if she cheated on me?" he asks incredulously, "She was the one who cried and begged to get back together this last time. And you know why? Because I found her fucking that guy in her car after she told me she was feeling sick and didn't feel like seeing me or going out with me."

Fuck.

His words echo in your mind, bringing with them a wave of sadness and empathy, definitely not expecting to hear that.

You never knew how it was that Alys cheated on Aemond, it only began to be said that it was with a college guy, but it was never said under what circumstances exactly she cheated on him.

You feel a sharp pang in your chest and suddenly feel outraged at what he had to endure, that she betrayed his trust in that horrible way.

How could she do that to him?

You don't have a heart made of stone to put a person through that.

You feel grateful that he shared this with you. It just shows you the level of trust you both have built. And you take a moment before you speak, trying to find the right words.

And the first thing you do is raise your hand and place it on top of his.

"I'm so sorry," you say softly, sincerely, "I'm so sorry you went through that. You didn't deserve it."

"You don't have to apologize, Y/N," he replies gently, accepting your touch, "None of it was your fault."

Then he sighs and you realize there's a weight to his words, a pain he's carried with him for some time.

"It's just... "he continues speaking, his voice heavy with mixed emotions, "Even if this thing between the two of us was real, why do this? Why tell these lies and want to hurt you with her cruel words and actions? Why won't she let me move on?"

You press your lips together and your heart clenches as you listen to his anguish.

"Maybe she's still in love with you," you mutter, trying to find a reason, "In her own twisted way."

He shakes his head, incredulous.

"This isn't love. It wasn't before and it isn't now. She just wants to have me eating out of the palm of her hand, like always."

His words are blunt and make you feel even more helpless about the situation.

And there's really nothing you can do, you can only be here for him, listen to him, support him in whatever he needs and be... his friend, like you've really been all this time, putting aside your facade of a girlfriend in love.

Right?

He lets out another sigh, this time heavier than the previous ones, and then leans against the metal of the bleachers behind you, leaning back.

You think he will let go of your hand, but he pulls you along with him, both of you close, shoulder to shoulder, both of you suddenly falling silent, saying nothing more, just staring at the horizon.

Until he speaks again.

"I don't want to think about it anymore," he says as he watches you and you look back at him almost instantly, feeling his thumb gently caress the back of your hand, sending a kind of electricity through your body.

And you propose the first thing that comes to mind.

"Do you want to listen to music until the next class starts?" you say in a soft voice and he nods immediately.

You take your headphones from your backpack, your phone and settle back down next to him, handing him an earphone and then you play your Spotify playlist with the songs you keep listening to lately.

You don't even know if he also likes the same style of music as you, but he doesn't complain or say anything to you the moment you start playing The 1997, Harry Styles, The Weeknd, Chase Atlantic, Cigarettes After Sex and Lana del Rey.

Until he closes his eyes and suddenly uses you as a pillow, dropping his head on your shoulder, immediately this catching your attention and feeling a strange sensation in your lower stomach.

Despite being surprised and feeling confused for a moment, you do absolutely nothing to push him away and after a moment of hesitation, you slowly drop your head on top of his as well.

He doesn't open his eye or say anything to you, he just settles in better and then you both get very still, continuing to listen to music.

And you can't help but wonder; are the two of you even pretending now?

You honestly don't know.

"We have a problem."

That's the first thing Aemond says to you on a Tuesday morning when he stops by to drive you to school.

Immediately this catches your attention and you look at him slightly concerned, closing the passenger seat door to the side of you and watch him completely attentively.

"What's wrong?"

"My mom knows about you."

Shit.

Your whole body tenses and you watch him with your eyes wide open in surprise.

"And of course, she wants to meet you."

Oh shit.

"B-but...

You try to speak, not finding the right words watching him confused, not understanding anything and Aemond helps you with that as soon as he sees your completely disbelieving and surprised face.

"Aegon told her," he lets you know, "The fucking cunt talked out of turn and before he knew it, I'd already told her everything."

Oh God.

"And what did she tell you?" you ask, feeling a knot in your stomach.

"She wants you to go to dinner Friday night."

He tells you in a soft voice and looking just as worried as you do, still trying to convey calm.

"I told her I'd talk to you about it, but..." he lets out a resigned sigh, "I know her. And she won't leave me alone until she meets you. She's really nice, I swear, she's the sweetest person and... I know we agreed not to involve families but I had nothing to do with this."

Your mind is spinning as you finish processing the information, feeling an unexpected uneasiness and anxiety.

The mere thought of meeting Aemond's mom already makes you feel nauseous from the same nerves. However, you empathize with him, as this wasn't something he planned and it was by third parties who think he and you are actually dating.

But still, you feel incredibly nervous and the day hasn't even come close.

"I get it," you mumble, trying to hide your nervousness, licking your lips, then looking at him hesitantly, "You want me to?"

Aemond averts his gaze from you, running a hand over his face, not knowing exactly what to say to you, as you wait for his thoughtful response.

Until he lets out a long breath and moves a little closer towards you, placing his hand on top of yours.

"I know this is a lot to ask, especially after we agreed not to do this," he tells you softly, "And my mother is insistent, I do want you to meet her, but... if you don't want to do it, it's totally fine with me," he assures you, "The least I want to do is pressure you into doing something you're not comfortable with."

His words comfort you a little, but you still feel the nervousness wash over you, as well as feel a slight pang of guilt.

You bite your lower lip, struggling with your own emotions and thoughts.

"It's just that I feel remorseful that I'm going to meet her and she's going to meet me when this isn't real," you say in a sad, worried tone.

"I know," he says with compression, holding his hand tighter with yours, "Me too but you won't have to do this again. I'll take care of it, I promise."

You let out a long breath you too, lowering your gaze to the clasped hands in your lap as you feel Aemond's attentive and concerned gaze on you.

"All right," you finally reply, "If it's important to you and your mother, I'll handle it."

"Are you sure? You can tell me no and I'll understand."

"No, don't worry," you assure him, "I will."

He smiles softly at you with gratitude, but also with a hint of concern in his eye.

"Thank you. I really appreciate it."

And despite your own misgivings, you return the small smile.

"It's okay, really. I just... need a little time to think."

Aemond nods, understanding.

"Sure."

general taglist:

[jackiestarsister]

Thoughts while rereading Jane Eyre

I first read Jane Eyre in its entirety when I was in high school, and it has remained one of my all-time favorite books! After reading the Manga Classics adaptation and seeing both the old and new editions of the stage musical, I finally reread it, or rather listened to the audiobook.

These were my thoughts on this reading (with spoilers):

~ Jane’s autobiography begins with the line, “There was no possibility of taking a walk that day.” I take this to mean that if she had taken a walk that day, none of the following events would have happened! John Reed would not have attacked her at that time and place, leading to her traumatic punishment, her meeting with Mr. Lloyd, and going to Lowood Institution.

~ Charlotte Bronte vividly shows the intensity of children’s emotions. I don’t think that was common in British literature at the time!

~ Jane enters and leaves the lives of the Reeds, the Thornfield residents, and the Rivers siblings in very Gothic fashions! I can imagine parts of the story being told from other characters’ perspectives to great dramatic effect.

~ Knowing the whole story, there are many seeds of foreshadowing to be found throughout the story! Great setup and payoff.

~ Jane says about Helen’s grave, “for fifteen years after her death it was only covered by a grassy mound; but now a grey marble tablet marks the spot.” Jane must have gone back to Lowood when she was about 25, and paid for a fitting monument for her first and life-changing friend!

~ Pilot seems almost like a Disney hero’s sidekick, urging the two love interests to meet each other!

~ Mr. Rochester seems to judge Jane’s character partly by observing how she treats Pilot and Adele, and the contrast against Blanche Ingram’s treatment of them!

~ If Eliza and Georgiana are supposed to represent the extremes of unfeelingness and too effusive feelings, are they basically Eleanor and Marianne Dashwood? I know Charlotte Bronte disliked Pride and Prejudice; maybe she was pushing back against Austen’s other characters too?

~ Rochester actually calls Jane the “adopted daughter” of Mrs. Fairfax and “little English mother” of Adele! I wish this familial dynamic had been brought out more.

~ The impulsive way Jane flees from Thornfield reminds me that she is still a teenager! She does not think of the fact that she has an uncle who wants to give her an inheritance, or of the solicitor’s advice to stay put until she hears news of him. She does not seek help from Mrs. Fairfax or the Leavens family to find a new situation. She might have spared herself a lot of suffering if she had formed a better plan for finding a new home and had her mail forwarded there!

~ St. John, Diana, and Mary Rivers are like a reversed reflection of John, Eliza, and Georgiana Reed—both sets of cousins, but completely opposite dynamics with Jane.

~ Jane’s relationship with St. John Rivers is waaaay more toxic than her relationship with Edward Rochester. Jane can stand her ground with Rochester, who would never force her to do anything she decidedly did not want; but she feels compelled to do whatever St. John tells her, and he urges her to do things against her own desires.

~ Rochester literally loses his eye and hand, just like Jesus says about temptation in Matthew 18:8-9!

~ Jane and Rochester’s relationship is bookended by scenes of her supporting him as he walks!

~ Were the parson and clerk who officiated Jane and Rochester’s marriage the same ones who were at the interrupted wedding?! Unless there was a change in position during the year of separation, they probably were the same ones!

~ My headcanon is that all the Thornfield servants placed bets on how long it would take Jane and Rochester to work things out. This is supported by the innkeeper’s account of how the servants observed Jane and Rochester, and John and Mary’s reactions after they finally get married!

[batsycline69]

I'm trying to figure out how to formulate my thoughts on this but Jane Austin is great, I'm sure as you said Jason would like her works but he was originally a Shakespeare kid and I do think it follows him as a character thematically. The comic where he holds his helmet the same way hamlet holds Yorick's skull has always stuck with me. (1/?)

continued:

And as much as I love Jane Austin's works and romances its never struck me as how I personally perceived Jason's way of expression (everyone is entitled to their interpretations however). I think the type of tension, devotion and tragic undertones of Shakespeare fit Jason very well. But back to what you were actually saying, I think you nailed it with Jane Austen and Bruce. (2/3)

As you said I the repression specifically suits him So well. Its one of Bruce's core characteristics to me. And again the traits you pointed out just suit him so well. I think part of it that works so well for me is that I think on a level it hurts Bruce to love like that (after such loss) and I think that is something that Austen writes very well. If any of this makes sense I'm not great at being articulate dshbjdsk. (3/3)

ALRIGHT GANG BUCKLE UP HERE WE GO

So okay. Original post was all about how Bruce is kind of fits the build of an Austonian character; there's a lot of reservation and control. There are themes of the roles one is expected to play. Themes of society and influence and all of that.

Jason is defined by his passion and how incredibly thought out his plans are. And that's not to say that Bruce isn't passionate, nor is it to say Jason doesn't have control or hasn't played into certain roles or expectations, because that's the thing. Bruce and Jason are so similar in some ways, yet incredibly different in the ways that the other one values the most.

I LOVE that you brought up the panel from The Lost Days because GOD what a panel. I had to dig in my Jason tag because I HAD to add it in (spoiler alert: it took a long time; turns out I post about that guy a lot).

And yeah, let's talk about Hamlet. Because god. GOD. All events in Hamlet take place because his father's ghost asks him to AVENGE HIM. Hamlet DIES because he wants to avenge the king, his father!!!

You referenced the Lost Days panel (and GOD WHAT A PANEL. I've got it just down a little bit for anyone who hasn't seen it), so we've gotta go over the Yorick speech:

...a fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy: he hath borne me on his back a thousand times--and now how abhorred in my imagination it is! my gorge rises at    it. Here hung those lips that I have kissed I know not how oft. Where be your gibes now? your gambols? your songs? your flashes of merriment that were wont to set the table on a roar? Not one now, to mock your own grinning? Quite chop-fallen?

(for anyone who has not spent several hours a week in Shakespeare lectures, the gist of this is 'aw man, he used to be so funny and now I'm disgusted by him')

LIKE.

Yorick was THE KING'S CLOWN. In this context, looking exclusively at the speech, this can so easily be about Jaybin! He was a kid and full of life and loved learning and laughing. And now anything that reminds him of that time makes him feel disgusted with himself. And that manifests as his resentment towards Bruce.

EXCEPT. When you look at the panel that's so clearly referencing the scene with Hamlet and Yorick's skull, Jason has assigned himself as the role of the clown; he is going to always be a tragedy of his own making. It's foreshadowing for Jason's continuing need for Bruce's approval, for him wanting something that Bruce is incapable of giving him in the way he wants.

And like. When I first made the addition, I was thinking really in terms of tone. The context most of us have for Shakespeare (sitting in a classroom reading out loud) is NOT how the plays were meant to be enjoyed. Even in the tragedies, there are dirty jokes; there's very clever wordplay, and a lot of that is lost when you just toss a book onto a high school kid's desk and tell them to read out loud (but that's an entirely different post).

Point being, literacy was very low around 1602 when Hamlet was published. A play was going to be the most accessible form of entertainment. By design, uneducated people were meant to enjoy these plays. And then we think of Austen being published works, and how there's an inherent barrier between the two. In order to enjoy Austen, someone would have to be literate. You see what I'm getting at here? I'm not saying Jason's own personal training adventures are something just anyone could have done (shout out to Talia), but coming into his Robin-hood (pun intended) was. Jason was literally taken off the streets to become Robin, whereas Bruce used his financial resources to build himself up to being Batman.

So I guess back to the thesis of Jason fitting Shakespearean themes vs. Bruce fitting Austonian themes. There's so much blood in Shakespeare. There's ruthless plotting. Shakespeare's characters are willing to do what they have to to achieve their goal. And it's sort of comparing apples and oranges in terms of Red Hood vs. Batman. And that's kind of the point, right? Batman isn't going to kill Claudius; he's going to very quietly make sure Mr. Wickham doesn't yet again abandon a young woman. Like, no, Batman isn't going to kill anyone because that's just not the role he plays. That doesn't fit into his story.

And that is not Jason. The whole ordeal of putting on a play to get the new King to confess to the murder of the old king? That's absolutely the sort of psychological bullshit Jason would do. That is a statement. He is quite literally putting on a show, and is that not what all of Under the Red Hood is? Jason making statements, blowing things up, just to get Bruce's attention?

anyway thank you very much for this ask i am vibrating with excitement over this. i broke out my shakespeare anthology and everything

[davycoquette]

Writerly Questionnaire

I got tagged back in my own questionnaire (tysm @saturnine-saturneight), so here we go!

By the way, if you see this and feel up to answering it, please do! I’d also love if you tagged me in your response so I can be sure to read it!

Smol trigger warning for mentions of various tough things.

About You

When did you start writing? I’ve been writing since I could hold a pen, quite frankly! As a toddler, I’d draw doodles then scrawl zig zags beneath to represent the “words” of the illustrated story. They became real words as I learned to read. I was never found without a notebook.

Are the genres/themes you enjoy reading different from the ones you write? I read a lot of stuff I don’t think I could ever actually write. My all-time favorite author is Cormac McCarthy, followed by Jane Austen and Jack London. Larry McMurtry is becoming a fast favorite. My stories tend to require less lived experience. I am not well traveled or thoroughly educated, so, while I’m happy to do research, I most often write stuff that requires less expertise. I also write more about gay cowboys than any of the authors named above — at least as far as is publicly known.

Is there an author (or just a fellow writer!) you want to emulate, or one to whom you’re often compared? I have been compared to Chuck Palahniuk, which is enormously flattering (if not deserved!) It’s massively important to me to have my own style/voice, so I don’t want to write like anyone but me… but I would love one day to harness even a modicum of McCarthy’s talent.

Can you tell me a little about your writing space(s)? (Room, coffee shop, desk, etc.) At a desk or coffee shop. The stars must align just so, my mood must be just so, I must have creative juices flowing and absolutely no distractions or particularly strong feelings. (I end up not writing anything more often than not.)

What’s your most effective way to muster up some muse? I wish I knew. Inspiration hits me light a lightning bolt once in a blue moon. Other than that, maladaptive daydreaming watching head movies. Music is an excellent source of muse.

Did the place(s) you grew up in influence the people and places you write about? Absolutely. In a way that reminds me a bit of Donald Ray Pollock, who writes about a pretty bleak and raunchy Appalachia.

Are there any recurring themes in your writing, and if so, do they surprise you at all? Loneliness, self-loathing, self sabotage, addiction in many forms, mental illness, abuse, and suicidal ideation/thoughts/attempts, “taboo” romances (usually sexuality vs time period). Some of these come as a slight surprise; others are no surprise at all.

Your Characters

Would you please tell me about your current favorite character? (Current WIP, past WIP, never used, etc.) It’s Shiloh. I have no idea why. He’s been my favorite since 2018 or 2019. He’s weird as hell but writing him comes effortlessly.

Which of your characters do you think you’d be friends with in real life? Preferably none. They’re kinda awful. In all seriousness, maybe Lou? He’s chill and makes a good listener.

Which of your characters would you dislike the most if you met them? Ruck. We have nothing in common, would have nothing to talk about, and his poor decisions would stress me out. He’s one of my favorite characters I’ve ever written, but I would hate to actually know him.

Tell me about the process of coming up with of one, all, or any of your characters. Just about every one of my favorites started out as a side character meant to garner very little attention. Somehow or another, they demanded to be written — demanded I let their personalities shine. And lo, here they are.

Do you notice any recurring themes/traits among your characters? Mentally ill lonesome addicts.

How do you picture them? (As real people you imagined, as models/actors who exist in real life, as imaginary artwork, as artwork you made or commissioned, anime style, etc.) As real people! Often I’ll pick a model/actor as a template, but they always evolve into a slightly varied appearance from that person in my imagination.

Your Writing

What’s your reason for writing? It feels so compulsory there’s no other option but to write.

Is there a specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating coming from your readers? I like when people tell me what they felt when they read my writing. Whether it’s attachment or hatred aimed at a character, or nostalgia, or just feeling like they were there when the scene took place. Anything that shows they absorbed and enjoyed it feels like the hugest compliment.

How do you want to be thought of by those who read your work? (For example: as a literary genius, or as a writer who “gets” the human condition; as a talented worldbuilder, as a role model, etc.) I want people to think, this bitch loves words. She loves writing. She is a writer.

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer? Making people feel endeared to the characters. Realistic dialogue. Getting inside a character’s head.

What have you been frequently told your greatest writing strength is by others? Pacing & setting description. Which is awesome, but I always feel like these things are weaknesses of mine? I’m always iffy about them - pacing in particular. I have no idea how to do it, but I’ve been told I do it well. That said, there are definitely things -I- think I do well that get the most negative feedback/criticism.

How do you feel about your own writing? (Answer in whatever way you interpret this question.) Writing is the only thing I feel I do relatively well. I’m certainly not the world’s best, and I don’t think I’m really ready to be published or anything like that - but I am pretty proud of it. It’s the only thing I feel this way about. I want to show it to people. I wanna talk about it. I love to read what I wrote. It feels gross to say that, but I’m making myself say it anyway, lmfao. I love to see other people feel this way vs anxious or self conscious about their writing.

If you were the last person on earth and knew your writing would never be read by another human, would you still write? Yeah, for sure. I don’t know if I’d write as much fiction, because part of the fun is talking with others about it. But I’d still journal, and I would still imagine stories in my mind.

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely what you enjoy? If it’s a mix of the two, which holds the most influence? I hate this question, wtf Davy. It’s a slight mix. I’ll admit a part of me wants validation from others, but a larger part would rather write what she wants to write than turn it into a chore. Doing something just to entertain others is definitely a chore. My writing is heavily self-indulgent and I think it may suffer a little from that - but it also means when people enjoy it, they enjoy it more. I think it’s the same for any writer who does it this way. When I belonged to a huge online critique group, I edited the life out of a novel I was working on and made it less enjoyable to its biggest fans while trying to net a larger audience. I now know that was a huge mistake, because having a tiny group of people who eat your shit up is way better than having a ton of people read it, approve of it, but ultimately forget it existed because it wasn’t memorable.

[suzannahnatters]

Trope Talk: Friends to Lovers

I almost never talk (or even think) about the friends-to-lovers trope; it's never really been on my radar as a Thing I Love. There are two main reasons for this. First, in romance, I tend to adore a good, spiky enemies-to-lovers situation. Second, when it comes to friends, I actually go feral for platonic friendships, particularly m/f friendships, that STAY friendships. I want to talk about those too, but over the past week I had the absolute pleasure of watching the kdrama HAPPINESS, which features an absolutely marvellous friends-to-lovers situation (with added slowburn marriage of convenience). That reminded me that there are a few friends-to-lovers stories that I absolutely adore - Jane Austen's EMMA, for instance (particularly in the Johnny Lee Miller / Romola Garai miniseries adaptation), or the ambiguously romantic friendship FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST: BROTHERHOOD. So, let's talk about one thing that makes this trope difficult to pull off, plus some things that make a friends-to-lovers work for me.

DIFFICULTY: Romance Where Most of the Work Is Done The problem with friends-to-lovers, and the thing that makes it offputting for me, is that you're coming into the story with a couple who have already done most of their work. They already know each other, often quite intimately. They already respect each other, they already like each other…where do you take things from here? How do you make this interesting when the two people are already on the same page and fanatically devoted to one another?

For me, the most important thing when constructing a romance is to create a push-pull between the characters. They need a compelling reason to be together, and a compelling reason to be apart. In an enemies-to-lovers story, the reason to be apart is far stronger than the reason to be together, but because the trajectory is towards togetherness, I can see far more scope for creativity in ETL than I do in FTL, where the reason to be together is usually far stronger than the reason to be apart. The journey is far shorter in FTL than it is in ETL.

But, I think the solution is to be smart about what kind of conflict works best for the story and the characters you have in mind. Let's talk about conflict for a moment. Conflict can be of two sorts: internal, inside the character, and external, between the character and others. In romance, there is a third layer of conflict, which sits between internal and external. Let's call it intimate conflict: it's the reason the characters should be apart.

In an ETL story, the intimate conflict is often the same as the external conflict: the reason for the characters to be apart is because they are on opposing sides of a war. They are each other's antagonists. In a FTL story, the characters are usually allies or colleagues, fighting together on the same side. As a result, the situation with the conflict isn't so simple. The intimate conflict is going to be different to the external conflict.

In EMMA, the reason the characters are apart has a lot to do with Emma's age. Since she's significantly younger than Mr Knightley, she's never really seen him as a romantic prospect at all. She also intends never to marry, and focuses on other people's romances rather than her own. Similarly, Mr Knightley has always seen Emma as a younger sister, and he hasn't come to see her as a romantic prospect either. There's very little external conflict in EMMA, which I think is unusual for a friends-to-lovers story, but what there is focuses on Emma's efforts to find a good match for her protege Harriet. Mr Knightley isn't exactly her ally in this, but as Emma falls into one social snarl after another Mr Knightley is usually the one who helps her out of them. Austen makes it work, but the point is that the story is a VERY slow burn in which the romance only develops very late in the piece. In this, it's a typical friends-to-lovers story.

By and large, I think friends-to-lovers works best when the romantic realisation hits late. Friends-to-lovers IS a shortcut. All the work of slowly building trust, respect, and liking for one another has already been done when the story opens, so it's a great choice for either a) supporting characters who don't have as much screentime or b) situations where there's a strong external conflict to provide a sense of threat to the story. In FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST, the romance that sent me feral is one glimpsed in the margins of the story between two supporting characters, Roy Mustang and Riza Hawkeye. The intimate conflict between them - the Reason To Be Apart - is, according to the author, that as military officers the two of them aren't supposed to start a relationship. The external conflict on top of this is that the two of them are conspiring to overthrow their nation's dictator and they can't afford to be made each other's weakness. In HAPPINESS, meanwhile, the relationship got off to a rocky start when Yi Hyun asked Sae Bom out within seconds of meeting her (and being pushed off a roof by her). Sae Bom turned him down right away and like Emma, still hasn't figured out that she might be falling for him by the time she decides that she might as well get fake-married to him for the nice apartment she's always wanted. The intimate conflict is thus simply that Sae Bom hasn't got around to returning Yi Hyun's feelings yet. The external conflict is very strong to compensate for this, however: the two of them are fighting zombies together, and that's not even mentioning the HOA.

An enemies-to-lovers story doesn't work for HAPPINESS, even though there would be enough screentime for it, because the themes and the antagonists don't allow for it. The antagonists are both literal monsters (the mindless zombies) and figurative monsters (the scummy rich). One of our beloveds does eventually become a literal monster, but this doesn't create an ETL situation because it's a morally neutral state and their innate goodness prevails even when having episodes. As for the figurative monsters, their whole deal is that that is NOT a morally neutral state and they got to where they are by being genuinely irredeemable people. This means that none of them can genuinely fall in love. So, ETL would be impossible in this situation. The third option would be a meet-cute with zombies, but this would also detract from the themes of cosiness, happiness, safety and domesticity which the show pits against the evil rich. Friends to lovers, in this setting, is the only choice.

So now that we've talked about some of the thematic and structural situations that might lend themselves to writing a friends-to-lovers story, let's talk about the things that can make this trope TRULY delicious.

CHEMISTRY: Of A Friendship Kind A lot of romance is, let's face it, very badly written. It's as though most writers think that two pretty faces + some light banter = believable romance. It can be very difficult to believe that two people who just met each other five minutes ago would be dying for each other now. Friends-to-lovers solves this problem by starting with two people who already know, like, and respect each other, and the only hard part is to sell the audience on why these two obviously appreciative people HAVEN'T yet sealed the deal. Further: sometimes for whatever reason the characters don't see each other in a romantic light, or better yet they DO but for Reasons have decided to deny those romantic feelings and simply enjoy the philos love which they CAN have without insisting upon the eros they CAN'T have. Either way, the friendship chemistry between them is likely to feel real, mature, and grounded. You really believe that these people care for each other in a uniquely unselfish way - which makes their eventual romance epiphany all the more powerful.

Emma and Mr Knightley are a great example of this. The Romola Garai miniseries turns this up to 11 by giving the two of them amazing chemistry. Their faces light up when they see each other, sometimes from far away. They're drawn together in every space they mutually inhabit. From the very first episode they're revolving around each other and although neither of them have realised it's love, their attraction is palpable. There's an age gap in EMMA which some modern viewers may find slightly problematic, and Austen (and the show's director) do a fantastic job of selling this relationship through the chemistry and framing of the relationship as a genuine friendship on both sides long before it becomes explicitly romantic.

EQUALITY: The Couple That Battles Together Stays Together Romance can come with a lot of baggage around inequality. A lot of people even today still view power and maturity imbalance as being definitionally romantic. A lot of men still want to feel stronger, smarter, richer, and more intelligent than their female partners. In a world where the sexes have often been unequal, a male/female friendship can be radically levelling. This has been acknowledged by scholars studying friendships across history. When a man befriends a woman, it's a signal that he appreciates her as she is, that he recognises her as a kindred spirit and an equal in ways that aren't always indicated by romantic interest. He knows that a sexual relationship with her is off the table, but he wants to spend time with her anyway. Their relationship is often founded on mutual interests and occupations, as well as on simple respect and enjoyment of each other's company.

This means that a romance which starts out as a friendship often achieves a sense of unique equality between the two partners, because we've already seen the two of them working together. It also leads to a strong partnership between them as they tackle all their problems together. (ETL also achieves a sense of equality, of course, but this comes about as the two characters battle and outwit each other). HAPPINESS is a great example of this: Yi Hyun becomes a detective partly because Sae Bom has become a special forces officer, and together the two of them keep the peace and battle zombies in a locked-down apartment building. Roy and Riza are also an iconic battle couple in FMAB, and even though Riza is Mustang's military subordinate their relationship is clearly one of such mutual dependence and respect that it doesn't come across as unequal.

BICKERING: When Acting Like an Old Married Couple Isn't Just for Lovers Just because a couple are longtime friends doesn't mean they can never disagree, which is why the greatest one-sentence friends-to-lovers romance in history comes at the end of CS Lewis' THE HORSE AND HIS BOY: “Aravis also had many quarrels (and, I'm afraid even fights) with Cor, but they always made it up again: so that years later, when they were grown up they were so used to quarreling and making it up again that they got married so as to go on doing it more conveniently.”

Most friends-to-lovers stories I love don't have all that much intimate conflict between the characters: the focus is squarely on the two of them fighting the world together. They may bicker and banter, but they always have each others' back. The notable exception happens in EMMA, especially the Romola Garai miniseries, where once or twice Mr Knightley gets quite exercised as he rebukes Emma. I think the thing to notice is that while in an ETL story the conflict between the characters normally involves a genuine attempt to destroy or frustrate the other character in some way, and in a meet-cute story the characters come into conflict out of a misunderstanding of each other, in a FTL story the conflict arises out of the characters' intimacy: that is, they are so comfortable in each other's company that they find it safe to disagree with or insult each other.

DEVOTION: I Would Die For You Let's face it: some of the most scream-inducing stuff in a romance are the moments when the two leads start putting unreserved trust in each other. They start throwing themselves in front of bullets for the other person. They start being utterly and totally vulnerable with each other. Sometimes this is delicious because it conflicts with who they ought to be: perhaps they have all sorts of reasons to distrust each other, perhaps they should be trying to kill each other and they know it. But friends-to-lovers skips right past all that. This is just who these two are, you know? They're utterly devoted to each other. They will take bullets for each other without even thinking. In their case, it doesn't contrast with their better judgement: it contrasts with the way they interact with everyone else around them.

Again, this is why I think FTL works best when the couple are up against strong forces of external antagonism - monsters, zombies, or just some really despicable blighters. When you can't trust ANYONE but This One Person? When the whole world is dangerous, except for the absolute safety of YOUR person? That's when FTL ascends and becomes truly superior. That's why nothing hits as hard as the moment in FMAB when Mustang muses over a chessboard about all he has lost - his pawn, his knight, his rook, and his bishop. "And worst of all…they've even taken my queen." unhinged screaming

VULNERABILITY: If You Dare Hurt Them Much of the fun of ETL is seeing the characters go a little unhinged, as a treat. Well, if you've been building your FTL pair right, you get to see them go unhinged in stereo! You've given them a sense of utter devotion to each other, and you've put them in incredible danger. Now it's time to split them up and put each of them in danger separately…just so the other one can go beast mode getting them out. They are each other's ultimate safety, and God help the fool who puts either of them at risk. As exhibit A, I call the HAPPINESS car chase to the stand. Yeah? YEAH.

EPIPHANY: The Love of Their Life Was There All Along At some stage, if this is going to be a FTL story, there needs to be the romantic epiphany when the pair realises that their friendship has turned into romance and that they want to be more than friends. There are a few ways to play this. Sometimes, both of the couple realises during the course of the story, as in EMMA. Sometimes, one of the couple has been romantically interested in the other for years, as in HAPPINESS, but the other one hasn't come around yet. And of course, in FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST the romantic interest remains undeclared, but the scene where Roy compares Riza to his queen has the same emotional wallop because it's the moment at which the audience realises that he views her differently to the rest of his friends - he sees her both as his most powerful ally, and as his wife.

The unique FMAB example aside, however - much of the power packed by this moment of the story has to do with the protagonist realising that the love of their life was there all along, and perhaps they nearly missed them. In EMMA, Emma only figures it out in a fit of jealousy when Harriet claims to be in love with Mr Knightley (it's hilarious that throughout the entire book she never tries to set anyone up with her village's most eligible bachelor). In HAPPINESS, Sae Bom figures it out after Yi Hyun makes a farewell video confessing that the reason he agreed to their marriage of convenience was because he is genuinely in love with her; the marriage which was fake to her was real to him all along. Combined with the knowledge that she might be about to lose him forever, this is enough to make her acknowledge her own feelings.

MORAL COMPASS: I Know You're In There, Fight But here's what I think is my absolute favourite thing about friends to lovers. It's something that happens in all three of the FTL examples I've been analysing here, and it's also something that has deep roots in the way friendship has been viewed throughout history. In Edmund Spenser's FAERIE QUEENE, each Book focuses on a specific virtue - holiness, temperance, and chastity, for instance. Book IV deals with Friendship, and in this book Spenser defines friendship as being built on a foundation of other virtues. That is, evil people literally are incapable of true friendship because they do not have what it takes to treat another human being with genuine kindness and selflessness. All three of my favourite FTL stories follow Spenser in pitching the friendship as a moral compass for one of them.

In EMMA, Mr Knightley regularly rebukes Emma for her social failings. When he points out her rudeness to Miss Bates, it's a huge turning-point in their romance. Emma's response, which is to acknowledge her faults and try to put things right with Miss Bates, is what awakens Mr Knightley to his love for Emma. On the other hand, Emma realises that Mr Knightley is a big part of her moral compass and superior to the other men she knows, and it's this that makes her realise how necessary he is to her.

EMMA is a lowkey example, but FMAB and HAPPINESS come out swinging when it comes to the moral compass, and it's absolutely spectacular on both occasions. One of the reasons Mustang depends so deeply on Riza is that she is his protector, not just in a physical but a moral sense. She is the one who has promised to put him down if he ever loses his way. Naturally, this moment comes for them, and the two of them survive it, but only barely. And it's GLORIOUS. HAPPINESS plays things a little differently: there's no long-standing promise between them, but the whole show, the characters are told that those infected who really wish to resist the thirst can do it. When Sae Bom comes charging in to get her husband at the end, he's about to lose his battle, but she manages to pull him out of his episode. Again, it's glorious.

CONCLUSIONS I love ETL stories for their intensity, their moral complexity and the delicious emotional contrasts at play between loving a person and wanting to defeat them. But…as hard as it can be to find really good ones, a great friends to lovers story comes with all those things and can be just as satisfying.

[bethanydelleman]

Northanger Abbey Readthrough Ch 13

Isabella's true character is revealed Catherine, "Isabella appeared to her ungenerous and selfish, regardless of everything but her own gratification." and James Morland, smitten with Isabella, has his worst moment:

“I did not think you had been so obstinate, Catherine,” said James; “you were not used to be so hard to persuade; you once were the kindest, best-tempered of my sisters.”

And then when Isabella and John Thorpe PHYSICALLY HOLD CATHERINE IN PLACE, James continues to do... nothing. He only finally tells John to stop after Catherine breaks away herself.

#downwithJamesMorland

It's unfortunate because James Morland is one of the few unmarried Austen men by the end of his novel and you'd like to use him for fan fiction but his sister defence score is so low... (nothing is sexier than a man who treats his sister right!) James ends up reminding me a lot of Edmund Bertram. There is nothing wrong with having a crush on a girl, but you should not be willing to sacrifice your principles for her!

Catherine stands resolute. Her big defining moment of moral backbone is resisting peer pressure, which might not seem like much but it's hard! Especially with the opposition of her older brother. And I want to point out, it's not just to avoid another horrible carriage ride with Thorpe, she does offer to go with them the next day. As she contemplates herself, it was not only for her own pleasure that she refused, she believed herself in the right not to lie.

I love this quote:

If I could not be persuaded into doing what I thought wrong, I never will be tricked into it.

Also Jane Austen playing cheeky with our imaginations:

“She is as obstinate as—” Thorpe never finished the simile, for it could hardly have been a proper one.

My mind automatically goes to "ass" (donkey) by the way.

This type of sentence, that immediately contradicts itself, is used a lot in Jane Austen's juvenilia:

Her explanation, defective only in being—from her irritation of nerves and shortness of breath—no explanation at all, was instantly given.

Here is an example from Frederic & Elfrida:

They were exceedingly handsome and so much alike, that it was not every one who knew them apart. Nay, even their most intimate freinds had nothing to distinguish them by, but the shape of the face, the colour of the Eye, the length of the Nose, & the difference of the complexion.

We also have our first hint here of the General's true character:

To such anxious attention was the General’s civility carried, that not aware of her extraordinary swiftness in entering the house, he was quite angry with the servant whose neglect had reduced her to open the door of the apartment herself. “What did William mean by it? He should make a point of inquiring into the matter.” And if Catherine had not most warmly asserted his innocence, it seemed likely that William would lose the favour of his master forever, if not his place, by her rapidity.

He definitely has a temper and very exacting standards, for both his staff and his children. However, he is very polite with Catherine, which makes her think favourably of Thorpe, "made her think with pleasure that he might be sometimes depended on." If only she knew!

Catherine then learns that Mr. Allen doesn't think that the trip would have been entirely prudent, Mrs. Allen agrees but only from a fashion perspective. Catherine is mortified to learn she has done something wrong, but Mrs. Allen doesn't seem very concerned:

Young people will be young people, as your good mother says herself. You know I wanted you, when we first came, not to buy that sprigged muslin, but you would. Young people do not like to be always thwarted.

This is actually a pretty wise statement, though I'm not sure Mrs. Allen has really been doing her job as a chaperone properly. It also speaks to those grey lines around propriety. We don't see women in Jane Austen's novels ruined by a single act of impropriety in the way that contemporary Historical fiction/romance is always imagining. It is usually a pattern of behaviour. And people clearly understand that young adults/teenagers will be a bit wild at times, because you know, people are people and have always been people.

Now we get to one of Catherine's flaws (which will come up again) she doesn't understand when her actions will be taken as officious or meddling. Her desire to warn Isabella comes from a good place, but as Mr. Allen points out, it's only going to make people dislike her. Elizabeth Bennet has a much more delicate and prudent approach when it comes to Lydia going to Brighton, even though that doesn't end up changing the result. She knows that direct opposition to the scheme would only make her younger sister hate her, which would solve nothing and only create more problems. As Mr. Allen points out, if Mrs. Thorpe is allowing it, let it go.

[ariainstars]

The Genius of Georgette Heyer

Georgette Heyer, an Englishwoman who lived from 1902 to 1974, is one of my favourite novelists, and I often reread her books or at least some parts of her books just to retire into an agreeable world. She wrote historical novels and thrillers, but I must admit I don’t like these very much. To me, Heyer’s genius was giving a breath of fresh air to the overworn genre of romance novels set in the English Regency era. (Although some of these Heyer novels like These Old Shades or The Convenient Marriage are set during High Rococo.)

In my opinion Heyer is highly underrated, standing in the shade of the more known Jane Austen or the Brontë sisters, books women most relate to when they want to read historical romance novels; Barbara Cartland is also more known, an author whose works are too saccharine for my taste.

Austen’s or the Brontë sister’s novels are not actually romances although they are often described as such; they are accurate portrayals of the society the authors lived in, romantic attachments playing a major role of course, but the focus is on the importance of family and society framing them and influencing them, for good or for bad.

I always found myself drawn to Heyer’s stories, long before I fell in love for the first time myself; the average romance novels get on my nerves. Now, and after having experienced love more than once, I can say that I wholly share Heyer’s approach that no matter how much in love you are has no influence on whether you and the object of your interest fit together.

The common trope in romances is “love conquers all”, which I personally dislike because it strips the protagonists of having their own mind and their own agenda. “Love” makes the choice for them; they don’t consciously choose to be with this person or other. Alternatively, the protagonists are “meant for each other” but “star-crossed”, i.e. circumstances or their own folly (or both) prevent them from being together, in which case the novel is framed as a tragedy and we are expected to cry buckets over it.

This is fortunately not the case in Heyer’s romance novels. Like Cartland, she writes of an England that was long gone before she was born, of course in a romanticized way. A lot of her stories mirror how the do’s and don’ts of those times, in particular in the upper class, influenced their lives and made it very difficult to navigate society.

Georgette Heyer’s genius is her capacity to imbue old tropes with new elements, and most importantly, to detach herself from the adage “love is all you need”. Without being sarcastic, she is at her best (in my opinion) when she weaves stories about people who realize that being in “love” is not that important at all. Her romances do end well, yet not due to the influence of a higher power but because the couples involved had the chance to realize who is the right partner for them to spend the rest of their lives with. Her heroines are usually headstrong, independent and reasonable; they may act on a whim or following their heart, but it is when they listen to reason - or are pushed to do so - that they finally get their happy ending.

Warning: spoilers ahead.

The Cinderella Trope

Arabella, and also Friday’s Child and The Convenient Marriage deal with the subject of a poor, or at least modest-living, female from a good family being launched into London’s high society by a strike of good fortune. In the latter two novels, this includes for them the chance to buy a heap of beautiful new clothes, strongly reminding of the Cinderella trope.

But Heyer would not be who she is if the novels would not be original in their own way: Arabella, far from being a modest, kind girl, pretends to be a rich heiress in order to “show his place” to a man who believed she wanted to ensnare him due to his wealth; Hero from Friday’s Child and Horatia from The Convenient Marriage both do not end but begin the story through marriage, and the plot unfolds as they slowly realize (and their respective spouses, too) that they have married the right person after all.

Finding Love in an Unexpected Place

In The Convenient Marriage, the Earl of Rule is ready to marry a certain girl to make a match, arranged years earlier, with a poor but very aristocratic family; it is on meeting her younger sister that he realizes “he does want to ally himself with the family”, to put it in his words.

In The Quiet Gentleman, as he has to deal with conspiracies and attempted murder, the protagonist Gervase Frant learns to put his trust in a female he first found dull, and who is not aristocratic the way he is.

In Sylvester or The Wicked Uncle, the Duke of Salford is at first disappointed by Phoebe, the girl his mother and her friend had chosen for him, and she doesn’t like him any better; they have to live through a number of adventures, together with friends and family, until they realize that they fit together perfectly.

In Sprig Muslin, Sir Gareth Ludlow overcomes his grief over his lost fiancé due to being responsible for Amanda, a girl of similar temper, and getting the chance to compare her to Lady Hester, a shy, unremarkable woman whom he liked but did not appreciate enough before. A beloved theme of Heyer’s romances is brought up here, too: having the same sense of humour shows to be indicative for two people fitting together.

In Charity Girl, notorious bachelor Viscount Desford gets involved both with a very beautiful girl named Lucasta and another, quite helpless damsel named Cherry, but none of them turn out to be right; instead, he finally realizes that Henrietta, an old friend of his, whom he had not wanted to marry years earlier, is the right mate for him after all.

In Faro’s Daughter, Mr Ravenscar gets interested in Deborah, a girl who works in a gaming house, which makes her free game to all men who visit it although she is a decent girl and only wants to earn a living for herself and the aunt who owns to place. A parallel is made through the protagonist’s niece Arabella, forever being in love with one guy or another but then refraining at the last moment. Finally, her uncle gives her a sound advice: that only if she will meet a man whom she will be ready to introduce to her family, she will know that he is the right man.

In False Colours, twin brothers Kit and Evelyn literally switch their places, one of them finding the right girl in the process by getting to know his brother’s prospected bride.

In The Foundling, the Duke of Sale is all but pushed to make an offer for Harriet, a girl he likes but is not in love with; but as he lives through some adventures and meets Belinda, who is very beautiful but also superficial, he learns to appreciate his future bride better and to realize that he would not want to be married to anyone else.

The Wrong Match

In An Infamous Army, Lady Worth wants to match up Colonel Charles Audley with Lucy, but then has to find out that the sweet, innocent-looking damsel is already secretly married, and that the temperamental Lady Barbara whom she had not liked for him is exactly what he needs since she has courage and straightforwardness.

Not Falling in Love at All

In A Civil Contract, Viscount Lynton, heir of an impoverished family, marries the shy and average-looking Jenny, the daughter of a rich, vulgar merchant to keep his family out of debt; she loves him but is aware of the fact that he does not requite her feelings, since he secretly loves Julia, a beautiful woman who does not have much money of her own. It is only as the plot thickens, the woman he loves marries another man and his wife gives him a son that he realizes “his Jenny” is the best wife he could have found.

Falling Out of Love

In Friday’s Child, Lord Sheringham believes to be in love with Isabella, an acclaimed beauty, until he has lived for a while with Hero, the young woman he had married on a whim. “Bella with her airs and graces, her moods and her sharp tongue! No, thank you!”

Isabella on the other hand was about to contrive a brilliant match, but good sense makes her refuse it after all. “When I thought how my life would be, that I would have to spend the rest of my life with him… oh, I could not!”

In The Grand Sophy, Cecilia is besotted with Augustus, a very romantic but unreliable young man. After a trying period spent nursing her small sister, who was critically ill, she finally realizes that the less romantic but more worthy Lord Charlbury who had offered for her in the first place is a much better partner for her.

In Cotillon, Kitty enters a fake engagement to teach a lesson to Jack, the man she is in love with; but when she comes to London for a while and learns more about him and the world, she slowly realizes that she was in love with a figment of her imagination, and that Freddy, the man she is engaged to, is a much better person.

“He seemed like all the heroes in the book, but I soon found that he is not like them at all.” “No. I’m afraid I ain’t either.” “Of course not! No one is.”

Heyer’s chief oeuvre in this respect is in my opinion Bath Tangle, where Serena and Lord Rotherham, both hot-tempered protagonists get engaged to someone much gentler than them, only for them to realize that they would not be happy with them. The heroine’s fiancé Hector gives her up amicably, having also found a much better life partner.

“You are a grander creature than I even imagined.” “And you are the kindest and best of men, but not my love!”

The “Pride and Prejudice” Trope

The themes of Jane Austen’s famous novel is upended in Faro’s Daughter, where it is the man who has a strong prejudice against the girl, whom he inevitably believes to be a scheming, money-grabbing minx because she earns her living in a gaming house. The girl on the other hand has strong personal pride and would never accept money from anyone, or accept marrying or becoming the mistress of a man for whom she doesn’t care. Far from declaring his devotion to her, the man insults the woman repeatedly, before he finally realizes his mistake and also that she is the right mate for him.

The Beauty and the Beast Trope

In Black Sheep, the protagonists Abby and Fanny are aunt and niece, both at the same time in love with two members of the Calverleigh family who both have a bad reputation; but while Beauty (the niece) has to realize that the man she had fallen for was only after her fortune, non-Beauty (the not quite so pretty, but intelligent aunt) realizes that the uncommon Miles who gives nothing on society’s standards does care for people, and that he is the broad-minded, worldly-wise partner she exactly needs.

In Venetia, the person falling out of love is a Edward Yardley, a sidekick, who really ends up being disillusioned; but the story had made it abundantly clear that he had been a fool all along to believe that he and the protagonist would suit. Venetia, the Beauty, has to find out that she cannot tame the Beast Lord Damerel, and that she wouldn’t want to do it additionally. The Beast is not a bad man but someone who does not fit in with society; which makes him ideal for her since she does not, either.

This trope is brought to a climax in Lady of Quality, where the protagonist Annis, who never felt the slightest interest in the gentlemen she met, on getting to know the rude but protective and straightforward Oliver finally gets to fall in love, despite the fact that they argue frequently. At one time she muses that “Surely kindred spirits did not quarrel?” only to then add mentally, with a little self-irony, “How mawkish!”

If you are tired of Jane Austens’ prim heroines and the Brontë sister’s drama, I invite you: give Georgette Heyer a try. Her novels are entertaining but neither flat nor sentimental, and I always find new layers and aspects in them when I reread them after a few years. Her heroes of course live in an idealized world, but it’s just what you might need after a hard day’s work. 😊

[wine-dark-seashells]

Over-analysing the books we saw referenced in Season Two (which I watched all in a go last night from 11pm to 4am and therefore am a little hazy on). If someone has already done this I bow to thee I just couldn't find you.

It's not reflected in my blog but one of my main special interests is Good Omens (and has been since I first read the book, a bit before season one was released) y'all I am ugly crying over the season two finale. If I've missed any books I'll just edit I guess I don't have access to the show anymore so I can't double-check anything. I KNOW Muriel was reading a book that wasn't The Crow Road but I cannot for the life of me remember what it was.

The Colour of Magic - Terry Pratchett (under I for In): On a surface level, it's a fantastic little nod to Mr Pratchett, the book that started the Discworld, and, to top it off, one of the best covers in existence. Funnily enough the same edition we always stocked when I worked in a bookshop but that's not important.

On a deeper level, think about the plot in bare-bones terms. Incredibly naïve tourist from an other-worldly place shows up in a grimy but incredibly magical city with a very odd box and spends his entire holiday with a wizard who is bad at magic. It ends with the tourist floating off into space to go see other worlds. Sounds familiar, right? I'm shaking this season like a small child with a maraca and I am chewing the plot until it is tasteless.

The Crow Road - Iain Banks (under I for It): Look, this one is so obviously significant that multiple people have done it already but I'm adding layers. Crowley gives it to Muriel in the last episode, I'm sobbing, but it's actually first referenced by Gabriel when he's "sorting". The tile is a fairly common metaphor for death, such as he's away the crow road. Other than the fact that it's literally part of Crowley's name, crows are a death omen. He gives it to Muriel for so many reasons and I don't know how it was intended originally but they're curious about humanity and The Crow Road contains one of the most fundamental parts of being human - asking too many questions.

Also, The Crow Road contains a lot of themes centred around death, mystery, and quite a bit of questioning of religion. It could be interpreted as a tell towards Crowley's real feelings about the finale. Metatron is death for him, as a demon, and he's just taken Aziraphale away to "chat". Remind me to actually write down my interpretation of the finale some time.

Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen (under I for It): See, this one has actual plot relevance and therefore is explained in the show so I don't really think it needs an explanation. However, it is a neat little plot device to show how Aziraphale and Crowley have had very very different experiences with, and therefore perspectives on, Jane Austen herself. I think that's a pretty good way to show how they think and differ from each other in their shared experiences. Also, spitballing here, Crowley is Pride and Aziraphale is Prejudice. ("Of course you turned down Hell, they're the bad guys. Heaven is... good!")

A Tale of Two Cities, Book One - Charles Dickens (under I for It): Come on. This wouldn't need an explanation except, once again, chewing here.

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times..." is the only bit Gabriel reads out loud, but the rest is along those lines (give it a read, it's fun). All one sentence. I don't really think it needs a huge amount of explanation, except that to me Dr Manette is Gabriel. Quite a bit of the first book is about his release from jail (and, to top it off, he was there because he reported the abuse perpetrated by members of the aristocracy and was put away under a lettre de cachet, something signed by the King and at least one of the King's ministers which could not be appealed). He's briefly taken in by a former servant (who goes on to be instrumental in the Storming of the Bastille) and the man's wife, who own a wine shop together. I am going insane.

No, I did NOT forget Good Omens (under I for It): History repeats itself over and over and over -

I need to go drink some water but Mr Gaiman sir how'd I do.

[permanently-stressed]

do you feel like your outside appearance is a fair representation of the “real you”?

five most influential books over your lifetime

I've been told that I look stoic, cold, serious and uninterested a lot. But I've also been told I look sweet and blissful. I personally would like to think I'm on the latter end of that spectrum lol

Ok so last time I answered Five Most Influential Books I thought it was meant to be popular/impactful books released over my lifetime, but I think that might've been a mistake.

Maybe the question was meant to be Five books that impacted you over your life time?? in that case, I'd say:

The Anne Of Green Gables series, specifically Rilla of Ingleside. I read them when I was eleven, and the feel and atmosphere paired with the valuable thematic core was just everything to me. It truly changed the way I look at life. (I should write an essay omg–)

1001 Arabian Nights. This is the first book that made me cry, and also one of the first books I read in English

Heidi. My copy was a gift from my dad after I played Heidi in a musical, and it was the First book I read completely in English!

Pride And Prejudice. It was my first look into Jane Austen, and her writing style and quick sense of humor will always hold a special place in my heart.

The Winds in The Willows. First book that had me ugly sobbing. Like, actually can't even breathe sobs. It was a silly reason but I always get reminded of it when I'm homesick :D

Thanks for the ask!!

[thesherrinfordfacility]

LWA: Some more idle thoughts about narrative construction and both seasons, prompted by your reflections about AWCW's inability to see consequences and Aziraphale's already-vivid awareness of them.

Crowley's and Aziraphale's pre-Fall selves are already set into their post-Fall approaches to consequences. Aziraphale, given adequate data, is very good at predicting the most plausible consequences of any given action; unfortunately, he's also very good at predicting consequences when he only thinks he has adequate data, which leads to repeated disasters (both the 1862 fight and the end of s2ep6 being the most obvious examples). It's not an accident that he's good at interpreting prophecy. It may also explain the weird Jane Austen misreading, which has nothing to do with how Aziraphale fell in love (past) but everything to do with constructing an iron-clad narrative in which there's a definite, logical romantic outcome (future). AWCW is politically naive, but fallen Crowley /still/ can't predict what ought to be the completely logical consequences of his actions. (Hence perhaps his own misreading of Richard Curtis, which mistakes the climax of a romcom for its inception.) S1ep1 keeps coming back to the fallout of Crowley pitching his stories too well to his demonic audience. He takes down the cell tower and does himself in, turns the M25 into a sigil and both gets trapped on it and temporarily murders an awful lot of people, and...then there's my favorite bugbear. Fans tend to overlook the likely outcome of Aziraphale giving in to Crowley's manipulation and killing the Antichrist, thanks to Madame Tracy stepping in, but beyond the cruelty /this is not something that Aziraphale could have survived/ (figuratively or literally). I was thrown straight out of the S2 episode in which Crowley gives away the entire bodyswap to Gabriel/Jim during his "protective" outburst, because as script-writing goes that there was a decision, but I have to grouchily concede that if Gaiman were to show up and remind me about the child murder business, he would have a point about narrative plausibility.

Crowley genuinely doesn't appear to believe that his relationship with Aziraphale has a developmental narrative. There's no story to be told about it. As I've said here before, his accounts of their relationship do not square either with what's on the screen or with what the actors have said they're playing. For Crowley, they've always been friends, they've always been a couple, they've always had the same kinds of conversations, whereas what's dramatized onscreen is a more heavily-romanticized take on the /book/ narrative, in which they gradually become friends over the course of centuries. There's no sign that /Aziraphale/ believes they've always been friends or a couple, which may be one of the reasons that Crowley's confession doesn't land.* In fact, one of the things that is now starting to bug me is the problem of Aziraphale's relation to Crowley-as-angel, because Aziraphale's problematic assumptions about fallen Crowley's continuity with AWCW (he's not trying to reverse-engineer Crowley, he really believes demon!Crowley effectively still /is/ angel!Crowley, just grumpier) mirror Crowley's refusal to acknowledge that his relationship with Aziraphale has an actual plot.

My take is that Aziraphale could obviously have done a much better job, Crowley-wise, of accepting the Metatron's proposal, but there's nothing to indicate that he could have done anything /else/. It's not just a mirror of Beelzebub's ep1 proposal to Crowley, but a warped mirror, in which the whole point of the "coffee or death" dialogue is that the Metatron is not really offering Aziraphale a choice in the matter.

afternoon LWA, hope you're well!!!✨

i didn't think to look laterally (not to this extent, anyway) at aziraphale and crowley when comparing their pre-fall selves with them later on in the narrative, but that's really fun to consider!!!

i absolutely love this interpretation of aziraphale's inner thought process, because whilst i had never really thought to see aziraphale as having an analytical personality type, he absolutely does; his approach to pretty much anything appears to be very systematic. in fact, im struggling somewhat to think of an instance where im confident that aziraphale reacts completely intuitively... maybe when he squares off against satan (crowley comes up with the time-stop, but where aziraphale chooses to face the devil down feels like he does so without any idea of how it could end)? any other action aziraphale takes, or words he says, feels like they've been very carefully deliberated over before delivery, even if he knows the outcome is going to be... well, shit.

you mention 1862 and ep6 as two examples, but, to me, aziraphale's way of thinking vs crowley's (which i'll come back to) is just encapsulated neatly in the entirety of s1; there are so many examples of where aziraphale consistently reacts to incoming data (when he discovers it or - when he deigns to - when crowley tells him stuff), and acts accordingly, and then immediately cycles back to analysing the result when it doesn't work.

my day-job (GO is practically The Other Job at this point) is largely based around analysis and research, and i regularly use a few thought models (maybe not consciously, but it's second nature at this point) in approach to a problem/question. so looking at the overall context of s1, aziraphale appears to follow a similar process:

scanning (identify the problem: the apocalypse)

analysis (gathering information/data, and identifying mitigating factors or outlying data: e.g. the hellhound conundrum, agnes' prophecy, adam is in tadfield, heaven actively wants the apocalypse)

response (how can the problem/question be addressed, and take into account any extraneous data that may affect the result: e.g. stop the dog, return to tadfield, engage shadwell and the WA, consult a higher authority through the portal, finds a human to 'possess' and get to tadfield)

assessment (the impact of the response, and any splinter effects or conclusions that the response initiated: e.g. realising that they had the wrong boy, identifying the right boy, where the apocalypse would happen, and that he and crowley were alone in stopping it themselves).

the last bit is especially indicative to me of aziraphale being analytical; he hears crowley say that god would not speak to him, but he still tries because it's a viable solution to scrutinise, and when it fails he immediately re-evaluates and then contacts crowley to try out an alternative, and share the information he has, because ultimately crowley ended up - on this count - being correct in his own initial, instinctive assessment.

obviously those phases of problem-solving throughout s1 are non-linear, and instead completely cyclical; aziraphale takes into account different factors and data at individual points in the story, and repeatedly comes up with various options in which to respond to problems as more data materialises - he continuously reassesses. initially, his approach to the problem of armageddon was to Not Act, and allow it to happen, because it was the great plan, and as an angel it was logical to him that whatever god had planned was for the best, was what was always intended, and would only ever be Good because... well, it came from god, right? had he perhaps thought a touch more intuitively, followed his instinct (which is arguably to thwart armageddon, the same conclusion crowley arrived at), he would have probably leapt on the chance to follow crowley's proposal... or possibly even proposed it himself.

but as it stands, he doesn't, and crowley gives him reason after reason to do so. all of this builds as significantly compelling data to aziraphale - to the point that when he's fully analysed (at this point) the potential outcome of Not Acting vs. Acting, he chooses to Act - a conviction that he sticks to. even at the bandstand, he doesnt sway on wanting to stop armageddon, but that the way that crowley proposes they do so not only directly conflicts with aziraphale's moral boundaries (killing a mf child), but also conflicts with aziraphale's sense of logic and reason (running away). and then as a last thought for aziraphale; he goes to instinctively shoot adam when crowley pushes for the last time, and is immediately thwarted by madame tracy - she does it as an emotional, knee-jerk, moral-based, human reaction, "you can't just shoot children!" - but given that that reaction is what aziraphale actually agrees with, it only reinforces that his way of thinking, logically and analytically, is the correct one, just because they happened to arrive at the same conclusion.

but this is where crowley comes in. crowley on the other hand acts very intuitively, instinctively, and i daresay emotionally - his immediate reaction to delivering the antichrist is panic, and to immediately call aziraphale (the narrative at the very least doesn't show any kind of analysis of the issue on crowley's part - would he have arrived at a different response if he had? and plus, as you say, him taking down the phone network was a class A monkey-paw job, well done crowley). but then he goes on to convince aziraphale into stopping armageddon with him (which, admittedly, does work, but only once crowley changes tack, stops invoking the emotional, and instead lays out the logical, does aziraphale agree).

when the issue arises of the hellhound (which, let's reiterate, crowley did not think to tell aziraphale before this point...), and the prospect of their upbringing plan not working because of this, crowley's reflex is to destroy the antichrist completely - but tempt aziraphale into doing it. when aziraphale pushes back on this more resolutely at the bandstand, crowley's immediate instinct is to just run. fair enough, given that crowley ends up being correct that aziraphale's resolution to beseech to heaven will just go ignored, but he similarly doesn't consider that aziraphale needs to test the hypothesis first, engage a more methodical and strategic approach, before resorting to more scorched-earth measures.

but as you say, this definitely harks back to the pre-fall scene. narratively, we still don't have any confirmation on what leads to aziraphale having any concept of punishment, or a sense of consequence; there is no iron-clad context (that I can see anyway!) as to why aziraphale would start to formulate this rationale - that asking questions might lead to a larger, damning (ha) consequence - when we can only surmise up until this point that angels would consider their creator as benevolent and omniscient.

AWCW presumably doesn't mean anything nefarious behind his questions (i think that can be reliably interpreted from his behaviour and delivery), so why would god ever punish him? this is beside the point, however; in any case, crowley tends to rush to a response, to act, without stopping to consider other factors, other data, and the potential consequences. in the pre-fall scene, if he had acknowledged the warning, the 'data', as it were, that aziraphale was giving to him (that something could go wrong if he continue the path he's walking), he might have arrived at the same action but with considerably more caution, and potentially prevented what happened to him (which, in contextual hindsight, is not necessarily a good thing). we don't have the full narrative yet to tell us what exactly happened during AWCW's fall, but it does seem like crowley is a chronic case of "fuck around - find out."

in this respect i personally find it entirely in character - and rather in-keeping with crowley's overall narrative in both s1 and s2 - that crowley reveals the ruse of the bodyswap in s2; he's not thinking about the consequences that it could have, but thinking entirely based on instinct. he's not thinking about whether gabriel/jim might remember the information, whether gabriel (regardless of his presumed reformation of character in ep6) might exploit that information, but entirely acting on the emotional wave that gabriel is posing a direct risk to aziraphale's safety and wellbeing. plus, we don't know how long he was sat in justine's restaurant for; it's entirely possible that he was three sheets to the wind by the point aziraphale happens upon him.

once again! not sure i arrived at a point! but i think in hindsight this is a really interesting way to read the final fifteen; it's fairly obvious that crowley is acting and reacting emotionally during the feral domestic, and aziraphale is - as metatron-aziraphale theories are indicating at the moment - acting and reacting based on a conclusion he's arrived at from data we've potentially only partially seen/data hidden in plain sight. but then we switch to aziraphale saying "i need you!", which is a hitherto uncommon emotional outburst from him, and crowley... saying nothing. is that crowley's way of thinking logically, analytically? because anything he says is not going to change the outcome - aziraphale will ascend, he will not, and they will still be apart?

on the note of their relationship, it's a really interesting dynamic - how crowley and aziraphale both see it from their perspectives. on one hand, you have aziraphale that goes from crush, to acquaintance, to confidant, to friend, to best friend and person he's in love with. crowley's perspective is... well, it is the same, right? so why does he retrospectively suggest that it's something that it, by all accounts, wasn't? look, maybe crowley was in love from the wall, immediately fell for aziraphale when he told him about the sword - but that's not what's actually shown in the narrative, to the audience. so... if he did, did he even realise it? is that why he looks back on their history as being something that, as far as shown to the audience, it isn't?

the s1 flashbacks are all shown from aziraphale's perspective (why am i only realising this now) - mesopotamia, golgotha, rome, arthurian england, 1601, 1793, 1827, and 1941 all show aziraphale first. the scenes are all set up with aziraphale opening them. it's only eden, uz, 1862, and 1967 that show crowley first... and all of them are pivotal moments for crowley's character development, as well as the development of their relationship specifically. that they learn to confide in each other, then they learn to trust in each other, then they learn the extent of what they mean to each other, and then they learn (or acknowledge) the danger of them being together.

so actually - does crowley think that there's no plot to their relationship? or is it that by 2023, he counts on the fact that the plot has already happened? that the biggest problem they confronted in his view - the holy water and the breaking away from heaven and hell - has been resolved (see: it hasn't), and that they've now reached the happily ever after? rather than the fact that we are actually only just getting to the climax of their personal story? which is also likely the stage that aziraphale was at by ep5, and is considering that crowley, by the time of the confession, is still a chapter ahead? "you go too fast for me, crowley."

(christ i don't even want to know the word count of this answer)

and this is similar potentially to how aziraphale sees crowley own angel-to-demon-to-just-crowley development; that he thinks that crowley as a person would want to be an angel again, "just like the old times, only even nicer", because why wouldn't he? he's a good and kind person, why wouldn't he want to be restored to the station and to the place that - in aziraphale's view - inherently embodies that? heaven has been corrupted, and he could make a difference, but heaven was always meant to be the place of good... right?

well, once again, aziraphale is without data - he doesn't, presumably, fully understand why crowley couldn't ever become an angel again, couldn't set foot in heaven again (not in that capacity, at least). so the conclusion he draws absolutely misses the mark; thinks this is the long-awaited happily-ever-after for crowley, when actually crowley is perhaps a chapter or two behind. s2 has shown more that crowley is able to somewhat accept that he is a good person, but he still has a way to go before he fully acknowledges it, and reconciles that with the, we can only guess, full circumstances of his fall.

last point - so glad that someone else spotted the mirror of the beelzebub proposal in ep1 to the metatron proposal in ep6; i think i gasped when i realised the implication of that conversation between beelzebub and crowley!!!✨

[annbourbon]

💚✨ 💚 Yoosung Kim 💚 ✨💚

★A mirror of sadness: depression, grief & isolation★

After reading this post, I feel like I've been slapped lol he's really more than I gave him credit for, which is why I'm going to add something I learned while I was studying how to write better but whatever... let's get into it.

There's a thing called Foils, Simultaneous contrast and doppelgangers which I'm starting to study in Literature.

So, the thing with Yoosung is that he's there to allow the others shine too. As it's expressed by @yooseven-heaven , he's our mentor, but also, it is important to the whole game in a different way.

You'll see, foils are "opposite" characters. That are there to highlight others either by flaws or skills. So in a way, Yoosung is Jaehee foil. If he was hardworking (or if he lets us know he is hardworking) Jaehee suffer would never be as meaningful as it is, so in hindsight we would never understand Jaehee enough for us to point it out to Jumin. Because his behavior was quite deplorable with her.

But he is not Jumin either, if he was to be as skilled, rich or smooth as the others, the others wouldn't shine through. And also, it is thanks to him that we are told not to overwork ourselves. Several times during the whole game. So if you feel down you just have to look at him for some encouragement. And yes, Zen tells you that too. But he is one of those who doesn't do as its told. He drinks beer, doesn't even eat properly. Let me remind you it's Yoosung who actually eats better than Zen lol so, in a way, Yoosung existence helps Zen to tell us we should eat properly and sleep when its needed... or play games! Ironically I can see a bit of a parallel with these two though I have yet to acquire these endings (i'm too much of a coward lol)

Anyways Jaehee is so busy she can't actually say anything because of that. He also helps the player (at least it has helped me several times lol because I don't want to be like him and complain all day about stuff.) to get over everything faster.

Plus, if you look a bit into his past we are told that he was actually an excellent student, quite popular among girls too and he even rejected several girls under the impression that he would be able to date them in college. And then maybe he would but Rika's death happened. So he would definitely be a great boyfriend material at that time but not after that. What happened to him was basically, depression. But who wouldn't get depressed after all that? Even the song says it so: I miss Happy Rika

What if Happy Rika doesn't only refers to Rika but Yoosung itself?? Just a thought.

Now let's talk about Simultaneous Contrast. And because I suck with explaining these concepts i'm gonna leave a quote I heard from a great video analysis on Jane Austen characters, the video itself and an image where i'm summarizing everything up:

Quote:

Everything you see affects everything you see. So by nature we are always choosing the middle ground.

Image:

Video:

So on one side we have Jaehee, Zen and Jumin who are always working and on the other side we have Yoosung. In middle we have Seven. Who is really hardworking too, but also tends to lose a lot of time playing around. Now keep in mind that while I did say he was trying to mirror us (since we're the ones who are playing the game and so is he) he also has his own persona to add to this mix so it's not disappearing entirely under that mirror.

And this is why Yoosung is important as a character and can stand his own ground.

(Sorry I didn't went into a lot of detail with all the depression and mourning but those things are heavily triggering for me right now so I won't be able to fulfill it properly. Maybe I'll come back from time to time and add a line or two if I can gather my thoughts.)

[quillyfied]

Things I’m noticing on this rewatch, which I’m hoping to take slow and ponder on but we will see how it goes, PART FIVE (obviously major Good Omens season 2 spoilers throughout, specifically for S2E5)

- Okay. Shax’s belt buckle certainly looks very snakelike, but her mannerisms are almost more lizard like to me? Very abrupt jerky movements. Straight lines.

- Okay but this whole discussion with Furfur is both hilarious and makes me wonder about the actual climate of heaven and hell post-Apocanope. Bc the idea that the actual legions of hell and hosts of heaven aren’t actually interested in fighting…yeah, seems supported by the text, actually.

- “Can I watch?” Always

- Alright the immediate way that Aziraphale is prepared to give away rare parts of his collection in order to get everyone there…unsettling? Surprising? Another drop in the bucket of suspense??

- Alright but the fact that he’s actually bothered by it is making me feel Some Kind of Way actually. Something something appears that he’s lost interest or is prepared to sacrifice his material comforts for The Greater Good, in actuality is doing his duty as a protector and guardian even if it hurts him. Don’t mind me, just need to lie down on the floor for a moment.

- Shax’s continued troubles with securing her demon army also continues to make me wonder what Beelzebub themself is playing at. If even Satan himself can’t command 10,000 killer demons into being, and would have to settle for about 70 creepy and unease-radiating layabouts…wtf??

- Unless Furfur is messing with her. For not backing him up in 1941. Entirely possible.

- FEZ. EVEN I KNOW THATS A DOCTOR WHO REFERENCE.

- Also Crowley’s goofing around with the crystal ball. Just want to bask in pure delightful silliness for a moment.

- Alright, back to Shax, who has a whole leather battle outfit? Certainly scary but all I can think is “did it take her an hour to squeeze into it?”

- Eric! Beloved Eric! And the manifold unfortunate ways his superiors dispose of him. Feels familiar and comfy, actually.

- Shax not knowing what she’s doing and being bad at winging it, Example 664

- Aziraphale persisting in French despite Justine really getting fed up with it: second clue that Aziraphale is putting this “night to remember” under more pressure than initially anticipated.

- Eric clarifying that they don’t really want to be fighting angels: lending more credence to my theory that The Big One/the Second Coming is going to fall apart due to out of touch management tbh

- I have deep curiosity about what the Christmas lights debacle is all about

- Nina! DRAG HIM.

- THE SHEER OUTRAGE OF AZIRAPHALE BEING CROWLEY’S BIT ON THE SIDE.

- Other people’s love lives always seem so much more straightforward than our own. Coupled with melancholy romantic music. And a frankly heartbreaking expression on Nina’s face. I’m so sad for her. I’m equally sad for Crowley tbh.

- Lots of use of lightning this season. Noticing that Shax’s is dual blue and red…have to go back and see what color Crowley’s is.

- Shax’s shoulder pads remind me of a dragon or a lizard too tbh

- Something too about the opening that I can’t seem to articulate clearly but strikes me: when the bridge between the two planets breaks apart after Crowley and Aziraphale’s little dance back and forth (still on the wrong sides btw), the bridge reforms after a few seconds, but sideways. And one of the bridge halves is an entirely different bridge. Foreshadowing?

- This episode’s theater feature: The Ball, by Jane Austen. With the onscreen picture being, I believe, a couple of the demons?

- Can I just say—adore the pretty rose in Crowley’s shot. Also paused at the exact right moment to catch Aziraphale’s amused and fond expression while Crowley tries to express a real concern. Love that he cares, wish he would listen.

- The complexities of being in a toxic relationship. Even knowing you’re well shot of them, the ways they break you down don’t really leave. Nina is a mirror for Aziraphale.

- I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I do truly think that Crowley spilling the beans here will have consequences in the future.

- Crowley’s rage and hurt tho. Thank you for that, David Tennant, we have been blessed beyond measure.

- Shoutout to the person in the notes of my post about the second episode who said the little hissing chime happens whenever Crowley takes off his shades in an important moment, bc I caught it this time!

- The way Jim is so childlike in his un-Gabriel state makes me wonder if angels in their natural state are just Like That—joyful, trusting, full of genuine love and care. We see it in angel Crowley, we see it in early days Aziraphale, we see it in Jim, we see it in Muriel. Which makes the Fall feel all the more harrowing in concept. If any of the angels who Fell truly understood WHY they fell, just that they were loathsome in some way and deserved what they got.

- Crowley pulling back from causing actual harm because despite his very good and logical reasonings for not wanting Gabriel there…he’s still himself. Gabriel in his right mind would be one thing. This is Jim. He’s something else entirely right now.

- The understanding of the empty house metaphor though. Breaking my heart here.

- “Where is your memory, then?” Brings to mind immediately another John Finnemore quote: “you see, that’s a very stupid question that you just happen to have gotten lucky with.” And THE MATCHBOX! Aha! The plot continues to thicken!

- OH. I missed that the “institutional problem” line was something Crowley got to hear first before going to heaven was even on the table.

- I’m sorry Jim’s adorable little nod, GET THE MAN SOME HOT CHOCCY THEN

- Okay okay—the way Michael instantly dismisses Muriel’s assessment that Crowley fed them about love and humans being weird—brings to mind the meta I cannot find now of angels post-fall just. Not asking questions. Not questioning anything at all. Even taking credit for knowing things that are blatantly incorrect. They are just as broken as the demons tbh.

- I wonder at Michael’s slow glance to the side at Uriel’s insistence on labeling Aziraphale a traitor every time. Michael not liking Uriel stepping on their toes as acting supreme archangel?

- Muriel’s subtle little eyeliner. Love it.

- Also how they know a super powerful miracle occurred at the bookshop, how everyone seems to know or suspect that’s where Gabriel is, and YET. Jimbriel hides in plain sight anyway. Because a miracle that powerful is affecting even the archangels. Also interesting to note that they know a miracle occurred but they don’t know why. I know this is known but somehow I’m just now connecting the dots fully. They can track miraculous power. They can’t know the reason until the angel who did the miracle reports. What an elegant loophole to exploit for thousands of years.

- Nobody would believe you anyway XD

- WAIT AND SEE. I cannot believe Neil wrote that in after tormenting tumblr with it for months. I have such irreversible fondness for that phrase now.

- The soundtrack being so pretty ;A;

- Also, I know it’s actually not great the way Aziraphale’s ball moves forward in stealing away free will to a degree, but moment of quiet glee for how he gussies up everyone entering the shop, too

- MRS SANDWICH. I will be committing it to memory.

- “Everything else was taken” Nina what does that MEAN

- Okay the creepy fog and Crowley’s insistence that something is wrong—we are starting on the topsy turvy carousel of the night! Stuff is getting Weird!!

- Shoutout to the magic shop owner’s spouse! A lovely color on them indeed!

- How is it that Justine is reduced to stereotypical Frenchwoman? Aziraphale. Good grief.

- Also, Aziraphale: why is Gabriel dressed like Elton John?

- Aziraphale. Aziraphale you are sounding like the guy in Sense and Sensibility who keeps trying to push the Dashwoods into dancing and enjoying themselves when they’re emotionally distraught.

- Interesting how Maggie doesn’t notice the demons at all. Or Crowley shouting at them from across the street.

- Wondering how in touch Crowley is with hell to know that these are low ranking demons and if Shax is fully aware that Furfur likely screwed her over big time.

- The warm reddish interior at odds with the eerie greenish exterior. Love that framing.

- Mrs. Sandwich finding the best and most erotic way of getting around the language block Aziraphale has put in place now (SERIOUSLY, ANGEL), deffo a highlight of the second season for me. What a delightful little scene. With horrific implications re:Aziraphale’s unwillingness to break his own fantasy of helping to realize the actual danger he’s put them all in until it’s too late.

- Tiny miracle chime when Nina grabs Maggie’s hand

- Nina and Maggie not being entirely taken in by the atmosphere Aziraphale set. Intentional? Incidental?

- I can’t hear that wet slapping noise without thinking about Monty Python.

- Aziraphale and Crowley? Failing to communicate whilst danger draws near? NAAAHHH

- (I remember reading someone’s very innocent “I hope they dance this season!” pre-s2 prediction and having the reaction of “nice thought but there’s no way. Save it for fandom.” AND HERE I AM. WITH THE EGG ON MY FACE. FRIED BY THE WATTAGE OF MICHAEL SHEEN’S SMILE.)

- Okay but the way Crowley lets himself be led out though too

- SHAX TOOK THE ELEVATOR WHILE EVERYONE ELSE TOOK THE STAIRS. I DID NOT CATCH THAT AT FIRST EITHER.

- “I’m not afraid of hard work.” MAGGIE. DELIGHTFUL PRETTY EARNEST MAGGIE.

- “I think you’re overestimating how much trouble we’re actually in.” NOPE.

- Aziraphale, in trying to help solve the tangle he’s in, has just created the perfect storm of harm for all involved. France in a frilly frock coat all over again. Only worse.

- Jim being willing to go tho TT_TT

- “You came to me. I said I would protect you. And I will.” HES. A. GUARDIAN. I. AM. CRYING.

- The fact that Shax sends Jimbriel back inside instead of trying to rip him apart is so funny. As is her attempt to spell toast XD apologies. Toste. (Throwback to Hastur and Ligur joking about toasting Crowley. Such fond memories.)

- Crowley throwing around rules he’s made up: the exact thing he would do and I’ve been deeply hoping he would do one day

- “I won’t leave you on your own.” “I know” WEEPING

- I was going to make a comment about the freaked out faces of Crowley and Aziraphale as Mr. Brown is quite possibly eaten or maimed, but I just found out one of the demons is named Skittles and I have to be joyful about that first.

- The miracles not working on Nina and Maggie!! WHY??

- “We aren’t leaving you on your own.” Maggie is brave and cares about her friends. Maggie is a mirror for Crowley.

- “But rescuing me makes him so happy” CANON. DECLARED. TEXT AND NOT JUST SUBTEXT.

- Crowley going James Bond with Muriel. ADORING IT

- The convo about tricking?? And then CROWLEY being the one to order the doors closed?? PARALLELS.

Okay. One episode left. Not many brain cells remaining. Time to grab a snack and buckle in, bc it’s about time to watch my heart get ripped out a second time.

[apotheosphorus]

i love the 1995 pride and prejudice bbc adaptation but its also hard for me to get through at times cuz its kinda dystopian?

like the 2005 movie is dressed up in romantic cinematography and a beautiful soundtrack, so i kinda just turn off my brain and simp for kiera knightley, but as the 1995 is framed with more realism with less aesthetic trappings it visually and viscerally reminds me that the patriarchal realities the bennet girls and probably jane austen were constantly presented with were not fiction

like holy shit imagine never being able to wear pants, have hobbies youd like, become a scholar, or like, own physical shit, and your entire actual future depended on being able to sell their bodies in a most likely contractual marriage to incubate babies

and if you didnt get that your options to survive were pretty far and between and you were most likely fucked

it kinda kills the romanticism tbh

im sitting here watching jane lizzie and the other girls' entire lives revolve around men and convincing one to love them having no other way to occupy their time because everything they did then revolved around pleasing and become auxiliary to men in an existential sense

like yes mr darcy is the platonic ideal of a man and lizzie is legitimately so funny and smart without being a pickme like ms bingley and p and p is overall so meaningful in so many cultural aspects but holy SHIT its jarring to realize that there it could have gone a lot differently if not for the saving grace of the power of love

[raina-at]

Just finished watching Good Omens 2 and I....have a few unpopular opinions. They're under the cut because I don't want to be murdered by tumblr. They're also a bit incoherent.

I think with all due love for Neil Gaiman, this show and the characters, I did think this season was... um.... unevenly paced, shall we say. The flashbacks and the present story weren't balanced out very well at all, and some of them were way, waaaay too long (Job and the whole Elsbeth thing were way, way too long).

I also don't think they set up the whole Gabriel-Belzebub thing at all, I knew it was coming because I was spoiled from Tumblr and up to the midpoint of Episode 6 I still asked myself when they were planning on doing that.

I'm also not a fan of Maggie and Nina, most of the time they bored me, and at the end I thought their roles as Aziraphale and Crowley mirrors were just a bit on the nose. Also, I didn't see why Maggie was in love with Nina, who was so rude and abrasive to her at times.

I also don't understand why Gabriel and Belzebub just cancelled the second Apocalypse, that was before they... I don't know, fell in love? Three flashbacks didn't exactly sell me their relationship. Gabriel's turn from complete and utter dick in S1 to guy who falls in love with demon and runs off with them isn't exactly given the room it needed in my opinion, because I frankly didn't understand it and I didn't quite buy it as well. That storyline needed so much more room to breathe.

There's still a lot to love here, don't get me wrong. Obviously Aziraphale and Crowley's love story is beautiful, and there's loads of funny, sweet, cute and adorable moments (how happy Aziraphale was that he got to dance with Crowley was just one of them, and the whole Jane Austen thing was just *chef's kiss*). The ending where they break up is heartbreaking and so well acted. And you can see both their points, because Aziraphale thinks he can fix heaven and Crowley knows that's impossible, because the flaws of heaven aren't a bug, they're a feature, as he experienced. But Aziraphale sees it as a chance for the two of them to be together openly and safely without having to constantly run away and look over their shoulder. And they're both right. And of course David Tennant and Michael Sheen give it their all and could read the phone book together and it would be entertaining. I just feel like they've relied a bit too much on that this season, to the detriment of the plot, the pacing and all the other characters, especially Gabriel (not Jim, he was delightful, but actual Gabriel, with whom we've spent about ten minutes).

I do absoultely get why the shippers are both happy and heartbroken, but I'm painfully reminded of Sherlock S3, The Sign of Three: When it was done, my wife turned to me and said, "What a badly paced, slightly incoherent mess." And I said, "Yes, but as a shipper, I loved every second of it."

It wasn't as bad as Sherlock S3 and S4, but after six episodes, I'm not sure why this story needed to be told. They had the same fight in S1. And I don't see how S3 can end any more perfectly than S1 did.

So. Um. Yes. A lot to like here, a lot of lovely moments, and funny dialogue, and Aziraphale and Crowley are obviously so completley in love with each other, and the reconciliation in S3 will be beautiful, but the pacing was really off, the story wasn't very efficiently told, and most of the latter half of Epislde 6 came out of absolutely nowhere for me. I'm a bit sad, honestly, because I wanted to love it as much as S1, but the pacing just really threw me out of the story so many times.

And the thing is, I couldn't really tell you what this season was actually about. I could just about tell you the plot, even though... not really? So Gabriel loses his memory, shows up at Aziraphale's bookshop, then a few angels and demons are looking for him as well, then Aziraphale... tells someone... the miracle was about Maggie and Nina... and then he goes to Edinburgh, where he discovers....um, what, exactly?... and then he comes back to London and they throw a ball and some demons attack the bookshop because they think Gabriel is inside and they want him for... um... reasons? And then everybody yells, Gabriel runs off with Belzebub (and they're allowed to do that for some reason) and Aziraphale is now chief archangel for... um... reasons.

So Season 1, for me, was about free will versus predetermination, of right vs good and of love vs faith.

I have no idea what S2 was about. And it's all very well if you lovely tumblr fans want to explain it to me, but you really shouldn't have to.

I just hope S3 is a bit more evenly paced.

Don't get me wrong, there was some really good stuff in there. The breakup, omg, that was hard to watch. And Aziraphale's joy at getting to dance with Crowley, and their whole "we're so married" but not actually communicating with each other at all. I just sometimes felt like they didn't have enough plot for six episodes of stuff for this season, so they padded it out with unnecessarily long flashbacks during which I'd already forgotten what had happened in the present. And I know it's basically the padding to get from S1 to S3, but what if we never get a S3?

Yeah. So.

I'm glad they're very firmly canonically in love, and the way they look at each other and look out for each other and always think of each other first (Aziraphale would have turned down heaven flat if Metatron hadn't told him he could bring Crowley along). I just wish the rest of the season was as strong as the last ten minutes.

[lryghe]

MDZS thoughts; adaptation and change

I may be leaning too much into my literature class roots, but I could (and may end up) writing an essay on how the live action version of MDZS ‘The Untamed’ drastically altered just sooo much to do with everything, including characterisation and my personal favourite to rant about; themes and concepts (if you’ve seen ANY of my other posts, you’ll know I talk a lot about this). I’ll have to remind myself to write ‘show’ or ‘live action’ instead of ‘film’ because my literature class has been studying change through adaption of Jane Austen novels into films and that’s really what boosted me to write this. As a preface, yes, this post will contain spoilers from both the original novel AND the live action show, and if anyone has made a post like this before, please link it to me because I would love to see someone talk about it! 

To begin with, the characterisation is both parts my favourite and my worst enemy in the show. The live action completely changed like, everything to do with Wei Wuxian and his character arc. Both the novel and the show provide an introduction to his character based off his flirtatious ways, charismatic personality, and insane talents, but the more the show goes on the more it delves away from the original Wei Wuxian in the novel, who deals with tremendous amounts of guilt and shame for his actions, while carefully trying to keep up his balancing act, before finally just giving up and having his corpses eat him or whatever. It’s such a stupid thing to nitpick I know, but it's so important to the themes of MDZS (which is something I'll talk about later). Because there's a distinct lack of disgust Wei Wuxian feels towards himself for the atrocities he commits, his character deviates from someone who is working towards self-acceptance and penance for his actions, to an upright genius who has never done any wrong, a victim in everyone else's scheming. But that in itself is doing a disservice to him, because he did bad things, he and everyone in the cultivation world acknowledges this, but he worked past that! He died for his sins, he came back 13 years later and actively fixed his behaviours, took responsibility for his actions, and learned to live with himself. Wei Wuxian’s character development is incredibly important, and to make him some type of sacrificial lamb who has always been the victim eliminates half the premise of the novel. That’s not to say that I don’t like Xiao Zhan’s interpretation or acting though! I definitely think he’s incredible and did so good as Wei Wuxian, but the live action is so messy compared to the novel, so much so that it’s quite difficult to get to the core of the story. 

On the topic of acting, I do quite like Lan Wangji’s live action interpretation, because dear lord, physical cues make it sooo much easier to like him (respectfully though, I am Lan Wangji’s biggest fan). In the novel it’s REALLY hard to move on from the fact that he has no outward reactions or anything to say that isn't ‘Wei Ying!’, but the drama did an incredible job of portraying how complex he actually is. Seeing his minute facial expressions in the drama was so important to his growth as a character, and the illustration of his growth and maturity is only emphasised through the live action (especially when they had the screentime to give him individual scenes with his brother to highlight the fact he’s not just a love interest for Wei Wuxian, he’s his Own Individual Character who is so cool!). 

All of MXTX’s works stick to a central theme; redemption. Just think about it for a second. MDZS follows Wei Wuxian and his works towards forgiving himself for his actions as the Yiling Patriarch while also acknowledging that he was doing what he could to protect those he cared about (and very occasionally, himself), Lan Wangji silently standing by him in solidarity. In TGCF, Xie Lian strives over the course of 800 years to forgive himself and finds solace in Hua Cheng and his unconditional love and devotion. In Scum Villain, Shen Qingqiu’s very existence is defined by the grave (read: pickle pot) fate had begun to bury him in upon his transmigration, spending years attempting to reach salvation after the sins the original Shen Qingqiu had committed, eventually realising that he owed it to Luo Binghe to be better, to stay by his side, to help him find peace with his past actions. And unfortunately, this theme isn’t portrayed very well in the live action. The show places far more emphasis on how Wei Wuxian was always right regardless, meaning there was no need for the guilt and repentance. Of course, he deserves the world, and I would pluck the stars out of the sky should he ask (Lan Wangji Momenta), but it doesn’t erase the fact that this is a vital point to his character! He isn’t supposed to be invulnerable and have an instant happy ending! He and Lan Wangji work like dogs, unravelling decades worth of lies, solving a couple murders, ridding the world of a few serial killers, and so on and so forth before any type of safety is given, any type of redemption is reached. 

Which brings me to another key theme in MDZS specifically. The idea of hard work. “Oh, but lryghe, this is such a reach, what are you even talking about?” LET ME COOK! Please! Nothing in MDZS comes easily, ever, which is great writing on MXTX’s part because who wants a novel where everything goes right every single time, and nothing is ever difficult? Things just so happen to work out for every other one of MXTX’s protagonists, but in MDZS everyone suffers for like, a really long time. I’d say about 15 years specifically (counting the war and its aftermath). Similarly to the novel, the live action delves into the idea of hard work and suffering as part of a process to achieve what you want. All characters are actively working towards what they want, they all have clear motivations, and they struggle, horrifically so in places. This is my third favourite thing about the live action, how it actually managed to bring something salvageable to the table in terms of themes and key ideas. Good for them! 

My all-time favourite thing in terms of the live action adaptation is the physicality of it. The characters are right there, and the acting clearly explains their motivations in places. The costumes are incredible visual cues to their thoughts, which is something we don’t see in the MDZS novel since its all from Wei Wuxian’s perspective. I do have to say though, some characterisation moments does in fact piss me off astronomically. Why did Jiang Cheng have to have some type of tragic romance with Wen Qing? Why was Jin Guangyao the one pulling the strings to kill Yanli? I appreciate CQL so much because of this physicality but it could do without some of it I do think. 

I ended up writing an essay. I’m sorry. If only my literature teacher could see me now... Mrs [redacted because what if I get sued?!], please give me an even higher grade on my next assessment, I deserve it. Also, this one isn’t as well thought out as it could have been, you’ll have to forgive me. I am in fact someone who spends too much time writing these thoughts instead of, oh I don’t know, focusing on my classes. 

Words: 1271 

Reading time: 4 mins