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gyroshrike · 1 year

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No, you guys, listen, you need to realize:

Connie and Daryl are matesprits

and Carol and Daryl are moirails

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inkskinned · 3 months

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one of the things that's the most fucking frustrating for me about arguing with climate change deniers is the sheer fucking scope of how much it matters. sweating in my father's car, thinking about how it's the "hottest summer so far," every summer. and there's this deep, roiling rage that comes over me, every time.

the stakes are wrong, is the thing. that's part of what makes it not an actual debate: the other side isn't coming to the table with anything to fucking lose.

like okay. i am obviously pro gun control. but there is a basic human part of me that can understand and empathize with someone who says, "i'm worried that would lead to the law-abiding citizens being punished while criminals now essentially have a superpower." i don't agree, but i can tell the stakes for them are also very high.

but let's say the science is wrong and i'm wrong and the visible reality is wrong and every climate disaster refugee is wrong. let's say you're right, humans aren't causing it or it's not happening or whatever else. let's just say that, for fun.

so we spend hundreds of millions of dollars making the earth cleaner, and then it turns out we didn't need to do that. oops! we cleaned the earth. our children grow up with skies full of more butterflies and bees. lawns are taken over with rich local biodiversity. we don't cry over our electric bills anymore. and, if you're staunchly capitalist and i need to speak ROI with you - we've created so many jobs in developing sectors and we have exciting new investment opportunities.

i am reminded of kodak, and how they did not make "the switch" to digital photography; how within 20 years kodak was no longer a household brand. do we, as a nation, feel comfortable watching as the world makes "the switch" while we ride the laurels of oil? this boggles me. i have heard so much propaganda about how america cannot "fall behind" other countries, but in this crucial sector - the one that could actually influence our own monopolies - suddenly we turn the other cheek. but maybe you're right! maybe it will collapse like just another silicone valley dream. but isn't that the crux of capitalism? that some economies will peter out eventually?

but let's say you're right, and i'm wrong, and we stopped fracking for no good reason. that they re-seed quarries. that we tear down unused corporate-owned buildings or at least repurpose them for communities. that we make an effort, and that effort doesn't really help. what happens then? what are the stakes. what have we lost, and what have we gained?

sometimes we take our cars through a car wash and then later, it rains. "oh," we laugh to ourselves. we gripe about it over coffee with our coworkers. what a shame! but we are also aware: the car is cleaner. is that what you are worried about? that you'll make the effort but things will resolve naturally? that it will just be "a waste"?

and what i'm right. what if we're already seeing people lose their houses and their lives. what if it is happening everywhere, not just in coastal towns or equatorial countries you don't care about. what if i'm right and you're wrong but you're yelling and rich and powerful. so we ignore all of the bellwethers and all of the indicators and all of the sirens. what if we say - well, if it happens, it's fate.

nevermind. you wouldn't even wear a mask, anyway. i know what happens when you see disaster. you think the disaster will flinch if you just shout louder. that you can toss enough lives into the storm for the storm to recognize your sacrifice and balk. you argue because it feels good to stand up against "the liberals" even when the situation should not be political. you are busy crying for jesus with a bullhorn while i am trying to usher people into a shelter. you've already locked the doors, even on the church.

the stakes are skewed. you think this is some intellectual "debate" to win, some funny banter. you fuel up your huge unmuddied truck and say suck it to every citizen of that shitbird state california. serves them right for voting blue!

and the rest of us are terrified of the entire fucking environment collapsing.

#spilled ink #writeblr #i hope it is clear here that i actually very much care about equatorial countries #and that's part of what makes me so angry bc im like. climate refugees exist.#they've existed for a while!!!#and the reply is almost always ''should have thought about that before living on an island"#like fuck dude. do you need to like how people vote before ur like #your entire house shouldn't burn down each summer????#so many of these people make it their life to mock california that they think it's FUNNY #and im like. girl you should be fucking trembling. TEXAS??? ARE YOU LISTENING??#this is one of those times that like. i need to stress how fucking stupid it would be #to let trump win. bc he could have “reached across the aisle.” covid could have been #a MASSIVE commercial success. he has such a huge and bigoted and brainwashed following.#literally just a PR campaign called COWBOY UP and it's pictures of cowboys in bandanas #trump reinvisioned as the lone ranger fighting for the american people against covid. EASY SELL #and instead. companies bought him. it became political. it was not ''oh shit this is 1 enemy let's all be human''#it was ''you deserve to die.''#climate change should be GLOBAL. it should be like ''yeah i hate u but. we do all live here''#i don't have to LIKE my group members to do well on a team project bc we are ALL getting graded.#is that simple enough of an under-explaination lol

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thesmokinpossum · 1 month

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#connie corleone #carmela corleone #the godfather #web weaving #this is...quite negative towards carmela i guess #so i just want to make it clear that i actually really love her as a character and i actually can understand how she became who she was #she was a woman born in the late 19th century raised not just in a patriarchal society but a CATHOLIC patriarchal society #who therefore grew up learning that she was primarly defined by her relationship to her husband and her capacity to be a 'good wife'#so i totally understand why she would take some type of sick pride in knowing that her husband never 'had' to hit her #but like...that entire part of the book was legit hard to read and Carmela was really not that much better than Vito there #so it's kinda hard for me not side eyed the shit out of her when she blame Connie for being a neglectful mom #like geez Carmela I wonder why your daugther might be struggling I'm sure it has nothing to do with anything you did or refused to do...#i'll say that she did end up being concerned for Connie and trying to help so she definitely deserves some points here #unlike Vito's dumbass who was just like 'it really hurts me to know that my daughter is being hit all the time but i can't do anything :('#'I'll tell her it's all her fault and that she deserves to be hit that will surely help somehow'#Vito really spent the entirety of this book being like 'nothing and I mean NOTHING matters more than blood (conditions very much applies)'#domestic violence mention

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wonder-worker · 5 months

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I've been thinking about the tragedy of Elizabeth Woodville living to see the end of her family name.

I don't mean her family with her husband, which lived on through her daughter and grandson. I mean her own.

Her sisters died, one by one, many of them after 1485. When Elizabeth died, only Katherine was left, and she would die before the turn of the century as well.

All her brothers died, too. Lewis died in childhood. John was executed. Anthony was murdered. Lionel died suddenly in the peak of Richard's reign, unable to see his niece become queen. Edward perished at war. Richard died in grieving peace. For all the violence and judgement the family endured, it was "an accident of biology" that ended their line: none of the brothers left heirs, and the Woodville name was extinguished. We know the family was aware of this. We know they mourned it, too:

“Buy a bell to be a tenor at Grafton to the bells now there, for a remembrance of the last of my blood.”

Elizabeth lived through the deposition and death of her young sons, and lived to see the end of her own family name. It must have been such a haunting loss, on both sides.

#(the quote is by Richard Woodville in his deathbed will; he was the last of the Woodville brothers to die)#elizabeth woodville #woodvilles #my post #to be clear I am not arguing that the death of an English gentry family name is some kind of giant tragedy (it absolutely the fuck is not)#I'm trying to put it into perspective with regards to what Elizabeth may have felt because we know her family DID feel this way #writing this kinda reminded me of how I am just not fond at all about the way Elizabeth's experiences in 1483-85 are written about #and the way lots so many of the unprecedentedly horrifying aspects are overlooked or treated so casually:#the seizure and murder of two MINOR sons and the illegal execution of another;#her sheer vulnerability in every way compared to all her queenly predecessors; how she was harassed by 'dire threats' for months;#how she had 5 very young daughters with her to look after at the time (Bridget and Katherine were literally 3 and 4 years old);#how unprecedented Richard's treatment of her was: EW was the first queen of england to be officially declared an adulteress;#and the first and ONLY queen to be officially accused of witchcraft #(Joan of Navarre was accused of her treason; she was never explicitly accused of witchcraft on an official level like EW was)#the first crowned queen of england to have her marriage annulled; and the first queen to have her children officially bastardized #what former queens endured through rumors* were turned into horrifying realities for her.#(I'm not trying to downplay the nightmare of that but this was fundamentally on a different level altogether)#nor did Elizabeth get a trial or appeal to the church. like I cannot emphasize this enough: this was not normal for queens #and not normal for depositions. ultimately what Richard did *was* unprecedented #and of course let's not forget that Elizabeth had literally just been unexpectedly widowed like 20 days before everything happened #I really don't feel like any of this is emphasized as much as it should be?#apart from the horrifying death of her sons - but most modern books never call it murder they just write that they 'disappeared'#and emphasize that ACTUALLY we don't know what happened to them (this includes Arlene Okerlund)#rather than allowing her to have that grief (at the very least)#more time is spent dealing with accusations that she was a heartless bitch or inconsistent intriguer for making a deal with Richard instead #it also feels like a waste because there's a lot that can be analyzed about queenship and R3's usurpation if this is ever explored properly #anyway - it's kinda sad that even after Henry won and her daughter became queen EW didn't really get a break #her family kept dying one by one and the Woodville name was extinguished. and she lived to see it #it's kinda heartbreaking - it was such a dramatic rise and such a slow haunting fall #makes for a great story tho

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everysongineverykey · 2 years

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i dunno it kinda bothers me sometimes to see characters who are referred to with they/them pronouns in games described as "ambiguously gendered" or "gender left unclear" or "gender unstated" by fans and stuff like. yeah absolutely they are sometimes that. sometimes the creator had a gender in mind for them while creating them and just didn't think to talk about it in the game. but also, like. sometimes characters can just be nonbinary? and it makes me kinda sad that everyone's first reaction to they/them pronouns in games is "oh, they have a binary gender, it's just up to the player/not stated in-game".

#this is just something i was thinking about #after reading the ut localization book and seeing monster kid and onionsan described this way specifically #like. onionsan isn't really a big deal to me. they're just never talked about in the game.#i'm not treating them as Important Canon Nonbinary Rep because even though i use they/them for them #they're not canonically Anything.#monster kid is sort of the same deal? undyne uses they/them for them #and while it could be argued that she doesn't know them you could also argue they sneak out to follow her a lot #she could've met them before.#eh. it's a non-issue in this case really. at least they didn't describe napstablook that way #but honestly why are they so scared of saying 'nonbinary'. it's clear that that's what napstablook is #with the 'theirself' and all that #which. singular themself/theirself is not a word you see often in media at all!#it certainly wasn't when undertale came out! that was a pretty uncommon word in games!#so props to toby for featuring the first singular themself i ever saw in media and making me go 'woah'#but anyway. if you're curious. the lol book simply says #'the game refers to napstablook as 'them' not 'him' or 'her''#which. yeah! they're a them! but why do you act like this is some sort of narration quirk #and not just. a character being nonbinary.#i think that became pretty clear when the first few rounds of the undertale art book #came out and used he/him for them #but then someone asked toby about the pronoun difference #and he called them all back and changed their pronouns to they/them in the book once again.#honestly i. only vaguely remember hearing that so if someone has sources i'd love to see them #but like. why can't characters be nonbinary. why can't people just say nonbinary. it's not a scary word.

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simptasia · 9 months

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my mum died last night

#i was with her. i spoke comforting words to her as her breathing slowed #she didn't suffer - she wasn't in any pain. she heard me and became slower and slower then i... saw her die #i never predicted i'd be there at the moment of death #it was her time. her body had been slowly shutting down the last three days and she'd been officially dying for 5 months #she was so strong. she was hanging on for me. needing to know i'd be able to survive with her gone #once it was clear that things were gonna be fine (besides the emotional toll) she started to truly let go #i've been with her whenever i could be the last three days. and night nurses watched her as i slept #last nights nurse woke me to be with her in her final moments #besides hearing me talk the last few days - i was also running star trek for her to listen to #she couldn't communicate or move but we all knew she was aware of things around her #i gave her words of reassurance and comfort and the last words she heard me say were ''i love you''#and three days ago before she lost the ability to speak the last words she managed were ''i love you''#so things went as well as they could be considering the situation #she died a little over 12 hours ago. it was 7 hours before they could take the body away. that was. haunting #it's been a rough day. worst day of my life. but mum is at peace now. and i have a lot of kind people to support me #everything will be okay eventually and i have my whole life ahead of me and mum wants that life to be good #so i musn't give up. now matter how depressed i feel

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boxwinebaddie · 10 days

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if you don’t mind me asking, how in the everloving fuck did you get mercury AND arsenic poisoning?? is that common??

siiiiiiiiiiiigh.

so, no...thankfully, my dear, sweet darling:

i don't think it's terribly common, ( neither was the arsenic i guess, but i'll get into that ) but it is when you're stupid as fuck like me.

because i am too lazy to type it all out again and don't have it in me to be eloquent ( i am saving that for writing about the boys, now that i, thankfully, can coherently write again ) i will send you the synopsis that i sent elite sickfic style dr. ana ( god's fucking angel )

**it's the updated, more articulate ( give or take ) version because i tried to explain it to the girls the day i got home ( take it easy on them please, i couldn't text or call and gave them quite a fright, ily girlies ) unfortunately, i was still not super good at making words and processing things, so i wrote this now that i am functioning better.

sorry for spooking you all about the parasite; long story short, it was not as deadly as i thought -- I DID, HOWEVER, STILL HAVE A VERY NASTY BACTERIAL INFECTION, LIKE WHEN I SAY NASTY, I MEAN VERY, VERY, VERY BAD AND I WAS FIGHTING IT CONCURRENTLY WITH THE PARA WHICH MADE IT SEEM A LOT WORSE, VERY ASS!

but long story, medium:

alright! gather round kids --

it's uncle nina story time.

tw for gross medical stuff / me being in mentally ill hell

anyways, looking forward to sharing my writing with you all again and answering my asks if we still care!

love you and hyh,

metal head uncle nina

#uncle nina: village idiot #kind of; i am glad my brain still works #when i tell yall i wasnt writing bc my body was so weak from my bac infection and the crazy metal poisoning me #that i could not think clearly it was hard to talk it was hard to move i was very very very frightened and very light sensitive #i do have bipolar but i was seriously worried i was lowkey schizophrenic for a second there bc i was starting to hallucinate #i am not! just psychosis from the stress and toxic amount of certain elements in my body! whew! jerseykyle moment #my tinnitis is starting to get better and sounds are less scary now i do still get these intense flashes of light in my vision #i'm talking like 80s slasher movie strobe lights like someone turned off the light and turned it back on it fucking sucks #i do still think they should skin biop me for the bac for anythin it caused but fuck if i'm seeing another dr. fuuuck no baby!#but yeah scary when i tell you i thought everything was contaminated ( which it kind of was and was why the para wouldnt clear )#there was ( i think ) a lot of it because i didn't catch it very quickly and or didn't know what it was or what to do because #the doctors wouldn't listen to me about it ( and specifically failed to catch my super serious bacteria infection which #became resistant to several antibiotics which they piled me with to treat conditions that i DID NOT HAVE THX AHOLES )#idk just be gentle with me i am a little fragile just bc its weird to be back to normal and okay again ( i do take a lot of meds )#and i am sorry for all the neglected asks i very much want to answer them and hope to get back to you soon #i love you and sorry if this is tmi i like to be honest with yall

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queers4years · 6 months

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Indigenous Hawaiians really had a good system going: wake up reaaally early and do most of the days work while it's cool and by the time the sun was up and it got hot the work was done and you're free to surf and socialize. I wish the white people realized they themselves could work smarter and not harder and get time to relax. Instead of calling Hawaiians lazy (and being genocidal about it)

#Ik this happened in most if not all tropical regions that got colonized #they were so pissed that these 'lazy' people got all sorts of fruit and natural bounty 'handed to them'#when those indigenous people were just working before the colonizers woke up and felt no need to kill themselves in midday heat #Which is what's natural for an apex predator: lazing around #Like u see lions in big cuddle puddles during the hottest part of the day. And they have the privilege of laziness by being the top predato #Idk if lions have a specific time they hunt but ik they will hunt at night when people can't observe them #Also Europeans failed to recognize indigenous agriculture and the /purposeful / cultivation of helpful plants (done w/out clearing the land #And even if they were only foraging. Like. If you love the earth and care for it (and not clear it) the earth will love you back idk #Gah! It's just like we coulda eradicated capitalism in its cradle if Euroamericans werent so arrogant and sure their way of life was correc #Like what if they were explorers and not conquistadors and colonizers. And there was a true cultural exchange #Would it have been better if the Europeans never crossed the ocean (even if they weren't there to colonize)? yeah probably #Like while the disease thing wasn't on purpose (initially) Europeans did inadvertently kill a lot of people bc they had no immunity #But I also acknowledge the human desire to explore and see what's out there #But I wish it was like #Europeans: here's some horses and metal tools #Indigenous people: thanks. Here's a way of life more in harmony with nature and an understanding that we're part of the ecosystem #Europeans: oh cool let me bring these ideas back to Europe. Maybe we won't deforest all of England #(I say Europeans but eventually when Canada and America became independent entities they also were responsible for these things)#Capitalism #capitalism is hell #anti capitalism #Colonization #colonialism #colonial violence #Imperialism #conquistador #age of exploration #anti colonialism #anti colonization #hawaiʻi

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chloecherrysip · 1 year

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Every time Mario is visibly concerned/worried about Luigi in the trailers/TV spots/sneak peeks/etc shown so far.

#mario movie #mario movie spoilers #super mario bros movie #super mario bros #super mario bros movie spoilers #cherrysip edits #LOOK...this is not a very good gifset #i am working with tiktok videos and recordings of television screens here haha #BUT!!! i couldn't get the idea out of my head of compiling all of this and i spent so much time on these gifs that now i HAVE to post them #also i know the text could look better but i am not very good at that yet please be gentle with me!!!#a couple more caveats: i may have forgotten something and also the context of these clips could very well be misleading #these are basically scenes where the trailers/tv spots make it APPEAR as though mario is reacting about luigi but i could be wrong #with all of that out of the way: LOOK AT THIS MAN. THIS SAD WORRIED VERY SMALL MAN. GIVE HIM HIS BROTHER BACK #like many people i was also worried when it became clear that mario and luigi were going to spend a lot of this movie apart #and i'm sure there will be stretches of time where mario is caught up in the adventure #but just the fact that luigi seems VERY front of mind for mario throughout hurts my feeble little heart #he isn't going to stop he's going to do whatever it takes until his little brother is safe and back beside him #(also: i hadn't seen that 'this guy's brother is going to DIE' clip in a long time and the FACE JOURNEY that mario goes on there continues #to be SO incredible and funny. he genuinely looks very pissed off at toad after the initial shock wears off. AND I WONDER WHY)#(especially now that we know this is the second time toad makes a comment about his brother dying and/or being lost forever!!!)#(MARIO WOULD APPRECIATE IT IF YOU DIDN'T!!!!!)

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eonars · 4 months

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um. tfw your life is about to change massively very very soon and it still doesn't even feel real yet and still feels like somethings gonna pop up and it won't actually happen and also you're scared as fuck that you're too stupid to actually do it and it'll all be for nothing

#like what do you mean full time salaried w benefits and paid vacation just to do. school.#what made you so enthusiastically think i was the perfect one to do this #when the last approx 20something other guys were like ummmm no you cannot do it #tbf like all that other shit up there aside #this did actually come at the perfect time #i look back on who i was during my masters and i legit do not recognize that person #i barely even remember it i have to look at pictures to think back on who i was #in a strange roundabout way being forced home to stay for a while #kind of re centered me and gave me time to come back to myself in a big way. i was really lost before #and chaining something like this directly after my masters would have been disasters #even like this time last year i did not have this level of mental clarity #and i think thats why i didn't get any of the other positions i was just in a fog and i think people could tell #so as much as like im super scared and nervous about this big change and big exit from my comfort zone #and a little sad and mournful that im leaving my family and wont hear my native language all day every day anymore #im the most ready ive ever been #2019 me was NOT ready im scared of her tbh!! idk what wave i was on but it was weirdo shit!#im also proud that i essentially rawdogged and brute forced a lot of introspection and improvement #entirely on my own #like i really can only just describe it as clarity i feel like i matured 10 years in 4 and cleared all the fog #i feel so good about the way i handle things and react to things now vs then #im like 500x more unbothered and actually know how to put myself first now #anyway uh this prob could have been its own post in and of itself #but woteva innit im proud of how much internal repairs i did on myself over the last few years #became a stable genius as it were #whos a lot more clearly defined and present #but fuck man! i am still scared of being 2stupid

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americanrecord · 4 months

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suicide blonde is going back to sleep, literally every time i touch the universe it unravels further and i've lost sense of everything and every character

#it just can't live up to the size and structure of the original so like #idk i need to put lex/val in a universe all their own with dean/inez as strict side characters because it's the only way it'll ever work #and i can't figure out a way to do that because literally every character decision i make - particularly for val - has me primed to fear #people will hate her #which i think is just trauma from dealing with the fic but #idk literally everything i do just falls apart like nothing works #and like val and lex are my true passion to write about so ....idk i just can't figure out what works #but like the priest started as an offshoot and became so original so fast and has such a clear image and purpose #probably because it's a standalone #but this universe does not feel clear to me as it attempts to be so many things at once and none of them are the story i want to tell #i just can't hit the notes i want to hit and i've become so insecure over the characters #which ...is probably my fault at this point but idk #it's just so frustrating <3 #and i'm very happily chugging at the priest au but keeping in mind that does not have a happy ending is probably why i'm turning back to sb #but...sb is not working at all #soooo...back to sleep she goes #✯ — diary entries.

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svtskneecaps · 5 months

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it's still genuinely funny to me that the only eggs to use "she" pronouns decided their pronouns themselves lmfao

#qsmp #the og batch of eggs was all he/him at adoption day with the exception of i THINK dapper don't quote me #i did hear a VERY long time ago that bad was using they/them for dapper at the start but i didn't hop in until later #also don't quote me on empanada; i THINK she was asked but i actually don't recall #sunny pomme and tallulah i know decided their own #flippa transed her gender; leo wore pronouns like accessories; and i think tilin became she/her just for a sleepover with flippa #bc allegedly slime was like 'no BOYS are allowed to sleep over with my DAUGHTER' and tilin was like well i'm a girl!! :D or so i hear #didn't confirm this for myself either #but like ramon chayanne bobby trump leo flippa tilin were all definitely assigned male pronouns at adoption lmao #and richas let his parents decide his gender and they went with he/him #this post isn't a hit piece or a critique to be clear it is genuinely funny to me the op lmao #shut up vic #block game brainrot #oh and pepito is pepito i don't think pepito ever actually gave any pronouns so pepito is pepito :D #but everyone knows pepito is pepito lmao #please don't do critique on this post this is a funny haha lmao post

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wonder-worker · 5 months

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J.L. Laynesmith taking the 'Buckingham Did It™' route for the murder of the Princes in the Tower AND the rumors of Edward IV's bastardy ... I have to laugh

#my post #history media #this was in her book 'Cecily Duchess of York' which I have ... Thoughts on #I really liked it overall - it was meticulously researched and gave me information that I hadn't previously known about Cecily #However this often contrasts with Laynesmith's own very evident biases assumptions and conjecture #and the effect is very jarring #This becomes slightly more pronounced after 1464 and actually ridiculous after 1483.#She also suggests that Henry VI may have genuinely died of a melancholy-induced stroke like Edward IV claimed which is just...lmfao #I don't know what to say at this point lol #To be fair she does specifically note that he died shortly after Edward arrived in London and that most contemporaries believed #it was far too convenient #which is far more acknowledgement and culpability than she gives Richard III whose culpability for the 'disappearance' of his nephews is #literally never touched upon - the blame is conveniently dumped on Buckingham #honestly the whole Deal with Buckingham is so odd. dude was a political neophyte; was given a primarily ceremonial role by Edward IV #throughout his reign and was younger than Richard (who was a seasoned politician). What makes you think Buckingham of all people #was some kind of political genius and making decisions over RICHARD of all people lol?#anyway #This book was pretty decent with Margaret of Anjou which was great #it was less decent with Elizabeth Woodville which was not so great :/#some of the assumptions it made (for Cecily's benefit naturally) were so weird #and the way she 'reassessed' Elizabeth's role in 1483 was very distasteful #I might make a separate post on that because it was very annoying #(also claiming Henry Tudor landed with 'a small band of Lancastrian exiles' - yeah no. the majority of the 'exiles' who supported him were #Yorkist aka Edward IV's supporters who opposed Richard. because this was very much an internal civil war between the dynasty #and Henry became a claimant only after being chosen by Yorkists after the October risings made clear the Princes were dead #the claim that challenged Richard's was Elizabeth of York not Henry's. let's not twist words here)#(ALSO I'm sorry but William Stanley certainly did not choose to commit his troops to Henry Tudor because Henry was 'his brother's stepson'#he did that out of loyalty to Edward IV and his children as Henry was the chosen claimant of the Yorkist faction #hence why he may have betrayed Henry VII in the 1490s for Perkin Warbeck who pretended to be Edward's second son. so jot that down)#you really see these small minor details which are very much chosen purposefully and paint a very different picture lol

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tapewormsoda · 3 months

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breakups are so fucking weird. three years and just like that it's gone. huh

#helix.txt #gross i ended up spilling my guts in tags. look at them fucking writhing on the floor all bloody #dont rb please #vent #to quote fall out boy i knew it was over i just didn't know the date #yeah that's it. fall out boy can fix this.#i will feel better if i go listen to bang the doldrums #and infinity on high in general #and folie a deux. folie a fucking deux how i love that album #my chem will make me better. gerard way save me #god what a weird feeling. you used to know me better than any other person but then you moved hundreds of miles away and it worked #for a while. then two years later you said it wasnt working and that this was best for both of us. guess i never got the memo for that one #hope we treat other people better because i wasn't as kind as i should have been towards the end and you were never as thoughtful or con-#-siderate as i needed towards the end. we grew apart because you're bad at keeping contact over messaging #and in some ways the cracks in the foundation that grew from that were my fault too i guess. our conversations always felt one sided #maybe i was smothering you #you could never seem to keep more than a passing recollection of the things i liked or even pay much attention to them #but i wasn't great about that either #we just became different people. you weren't what i wanted or needed and you couldn't do long distance. whatever #i know it was the right thing i just wish it hadn't made me feel so damn awful #will we still talk after this? who knows. we didn't end on bad terms but things are definitely weird #and considering your track record with people you can only talk to online i'm not optimistic #you tried to break things off initially by saying you'd said you would improve in the past with nothing to show for it #something i didn't disagree with but i said it didn't bother me much. and it didn't #but it's complicated now. i did deserve better. but you made it clear i'm not getting it from you #you weren't as present or thoughtful as i needed #i wasn't there in person the way you needed and certainly not as considerate as i should have been. and for that second part i'm truly sorr #anyways. sorry. i'd been thinking about it for a long time anyway. i didn't want to admit it because i didn't like to think #about what it might bring. maybe i should have been braver #right. that's enough

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fatcowboys · 6 months

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im done w moving and out of the shitty apt w the shittier roommate (who did not let move out happen without adding as Much drama as possible) and have just. been feeling so much better. living w my two friends who actually communicate well and all work together on our needs and gah. so less stressed and anxious now!!! and also in a week kitty introductions have gotten farther than they ever did w shitty roommates kitties (they were kinda bullies, so we had to move glacial speed even w oregano cat expert) and just. thank u the universe things are so much better now

#only improvement would be if anjo Also lived here curse grad school!!!!!!#i moved out over a week ago but we just tuened in keys after cleaning day on sunday #and across just those two days bad roommate accused me of faking cleaning a part of something (that was not requested or clear)#tried to turn anjo against me by saying im a liar and manipulator and gaslighter (which. listen the last one i could say the fuckin same)#(which is also so funny bc anjo and i are so close. became codependent in a heart beat. why tf would u think anjo is gonna be on ur side)#then at the walkthru pointed out things that were damaged (which they are Alsonin on that security deposit what are u doing)#and the texted again accusing me of shit with a stupid fucking infographic on weaponized incompetance #thankfully like all of these i had my friends with me bc when infirst got there for cleaning i uhhhh had a panic attack lol #so i had good support thru everything and now never have to deal w them #its just. been So much lmao. and its so fucking nice how calm and smooth things have been #like i had that sort of shit. i in general am good at communicating and avoid shitty drama like this person #so its been So exhausting. but im done now thank god #and the new place is so much better and nicer and i love the friends im living w and Yeah :')

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sluckythewizard · 6 months

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SHHH SH HEYYY HEY DONT TELL ANYONE BUT... ive been workin on smth since BITB came out..... itsa lil musical animatic involvin kian and becky.... ITS NO WHERE NEAR DONE YET but loooook look im puttin lil screenshots under the cut. its supposed to go along with Am I In Heaven? by King Gizzard n the Lizard Wizard. infact yknow what cmere come sit with be bc ALOT of songs from the 'IM IN YOUR MIND FUZZ' album makes me think about becky and kian. oh my god. those two make me so damn emotional. like Her and I was the first one to rly resonate with me, and EMPTY was another good one, all just stuff about. yknow LOVE!! doomed by the narrative yet burning SO SO brightly in its last moments, holding hands, playing music, THEY WERE SO IN LOVE WITH YOU THAT THE COPY OF THEM LOVED YOU, AND YOUR COPY LOVES THEM TOO. WHAT A BEAUTIFUL, CRUMBLING, BURNING, HISSING, SQUIRMING, MELTING, CLICKING LOVE STORY..

GET OVER HERE N SCREAM WITH MEEE I LOVE SCREAMING ABOUT THINGS

#THIS IS A DRAFT that i made like. months ago. woopsie.#BUT IM CHIPPING AWAY AT IT AGAIN. IT CANT STAY UNFINISHED FOREVER. ONE DAY YOU WILL ALL SEE! YOULL ALL SSSEEEE!!!!!!!#no reblogs either this stays between US!!!!!!!!!!#and if you guys like it enough i might post an old fuckin wip i have all packaged together on youtube. its a VIDEO it goes w the MUSIC!!#SOUND WITH THE MOVING IMAGE?? IVE ONLY EVER DONE IT ONCE!!!#ill post the Lord of Lightning animatic i made on tumblr when i get the chance. in the meantime i ahve it posted on twitter. GO FETCH #but THIS SECOND ONE is out there.. all synced together..#but its a wip and its rough and old and scuffed and i HATE IT. my son whom i wish was dead #but you can see it. for the small small price of uh. begging.#also ouuhh my god i love becky and kian so much... they make me so emotional.. SOMETHING ABT DOOMED SHIPS...#even as the boat sinks these two clung together so tightly. they really really did love eachother so much. even after ten years of ROTTING #of sitting and waiting and wondering 'where is she?' is she lost? hurt? did something happen? is she okay? did she even want to be here?#does she hate me? did she leave because she hated me? she never wanted to see me again? where is she? where is she? guess ill write a song #FOR TEN YEARS. when i was just busy. i was distracted. so much came up. things got serious. my dream became clear and i had to chase it #i didnt know you were waiting. im sorry. i should have chased the thought of you more. but i was busy. i was just busy.#i wish that i could apologize with the throat that was my own. i hope this copy will suffice. i hope this copy will suffice. UGH

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