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#it apparently requires training?
disdaidal · 6 months
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So, I met my nurse today and she said I'm finally getting scheduled for the ADHD testing on Dec 18th—after all these years. Albeit she said that it may not change a thing, but it's good to test it anyway.
I also had a discussion with my teacher today about my problems and we went through some stuff, and I might feel a little bit more enlightened about some things, which will hopefully help me.
Still. I'm having trouble with planning some stuff at my workplace because the staff there simply doesn't have time, and my instructor is also a very busy person (plus she's fussy and impatient and a little upset/disappointed with me which is not making it any easier for me), so that is still giving me a lot of stress right now.
So, I don't know. On the other hand, one teacher says I'm doing a good job and that I shouldn't quit. Then again, this particular school and their style of teaching simply might not be the thing for me and I expressed that concern today as well. I need help getting through with some stuff and nobody has time for me, so it's obviously not good.
I also need to find another place to train soon and that workplace would have to be something where I wouldn't have to manage 15 things at the same time and well. Finding that could be a challenge, too.
But. I suppose we're going somewhere.
#personal#last week i cried twice after a workday#and my nurse also mentioned today that i still have a learning disability which will definitely make things harder for me#but also that there's nothing that can be done about it so... great#so i mentioned this to my teacher and she wrote it down but#basically there are only two choices for me now#either i pass this training somehow and plan my displays at my current workplace so well that i never have to do this again#or i will only complete my training for this period and then find another workplace and do my displays there#i can't postpone them much later apparently or so i understood. so they are not giving a lot of choices there really#and we did talk about me considering another school as well#where i can spend more time in the classroom actually learning things and less time working and trying to study at the same time#because this clearly isn't working for me. i can't do two things at the same time. not well at least. and i want to do well#but i tried applying for that kind of school in this field last summer. i didn't get in & i was 8th in line#i would've gotten in working with kids instead. but that school was further away and i probably would've found it even more stressful#than what i'm doing now#so i don't know. this is so fucking stressful for me honestly#like i like what i'm doing but i also really hate what i'm doing because this also requires stuff from me that i am simply not good at#and i'd have to put extra energy into it but i don't have much energy in me right now tbh#ugh
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lohstandfound · 6 months
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there are some stories in mythologies that start with two deities. everything else exists because of them. Gaia and Ouranos, Terra and Caelus, Ranginui and Papatūānuku, for example.
we start with Jake and Chloe.
instead of being the sky father and the earth mother, we have creation and destruction. light and dark. forgiveness and vengeance.
total opposite, but a dynamic pair
it was just them for a while, having fun building their world. things got messy, of course
it suddenly gets boring when you have only one person to spend eternity with
somehow, they learn to create life
jenna was the first to join them. she sees all. overwhelming. glimpses of the future, connections between people. it was like she could reach out and physically touch the string connecting jake and chloe. she discovered that whenever she messed with those lines, it affected the relationships. however, jenna was not the cause of the strained relationship between jake and chloe. she longed to discover what would happen if one were to cut that string. maybe she could have tested it when she saw new strings connecting to jake and chloe, but even then she didn't dare to interfere.
jeremy, michael, and christine. thick as theives and artists at heart. they danced around their feelings for an agonisingly long time (and they have eterninty)
rich was made from jake's mourning. he walked out of the fire from chloe's destruction and stopped in front of jake as he watched their temples fall
brooke was once a mere mortal who fell in love with chloe. she eventually gave up her friends, her family, her life, her mortality to spend eternity with chloe. and she would watch those from her old life mourn and grow and move on from afar, always making sure that her birthplace was well fed, well protected, well taken care of.
jake and chloe discover it's much better to spend eternity with their little family than by themselves
(jake and chloe never knew where they came from. never knew that someone else created them. but they know more than anyone else that anything that has been created can also be destroyed)
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waltzofphoenix · 6 months
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ON THE YOUNGEST EVER CALVARY CAPTAIN
Diluc received his Vision a few days before his Knights of Favonious entrance exam, during a very intense training session. He passed all of his tests with outstanding marks and was given the rank of Calvary Captain immediately upon his induction to the order.
Was this due to his father's influence and close friendship with Varka? Perhaps. Even so, Diluc truly believed he deserved the position, and his predecessor was content to retire quietly and let the young lad have his day in the sun.
After all, Diluc had spent his childhood roaming about the fields he now patrolled. And now? He also had the power to defend them.
---
These days, the regulations are a bit more strict.
Diluc is also the reason for that: his resignation was framed as an immature act from a child that got promoted too soon and was not prepared for the full responsibilities of the rank.
(This is the story that was told, even though it wasn't true.)
However, even after Varka and Jean learned more about the reasons behind Diluc's actions, they still believed the restrictions would be beneficial in the long run.
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noona-verse · 1 year
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Call me naive, but I actually don't believe Hui would abandon Pentagon to go rogue and join Boys Planet. Yeah, there is pressure on idols to act like they're close with their group members, but there are some things you can't fake. Look how Hui spends his most finite resource: his time. During enlistment, he still chose to live at home with the guys. He went to their MV shoot, showed up at Jinho's musical, got up at ungodly hours to attend prerecordings for Feelin' Like stages. He works out with Shinwon pretty much daily. And before Invite U came out, when something so upsetting was going on behind the scenes that Yuto cried, Hui showed up to get them through it. Even during enlistment, he was still their leader. If everything was fake, he could have had two years off on his own, but he chose to spend it glued to the other members. Even if he thought Pentagon wasn't going to make it, I firmly believe he'd go down with the ship rather than stealing away in a life raft alone. (Also, they're doing well!) I'm just going to sit here and wait for the record to be set straight, thanks.
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Having a fuckin Thursday, my dudes (gender neutral)
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bigfishthemusical · 1 year
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👍 told my mom I’m gonna wear a mask in the airport and she was normal about it and actually agreed with me. First win of the weekend
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iguessitsjustme · 2 years
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Someone tell me why I went to my one on one meeting with a manager and came out of it with a project I’m not supposed to take over until next spring
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sunseekersims · 2 years
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ending my birthday in a near panic attack state seems about right
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disdaidal · 7 months
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Okay, so, now my school might be arranging a 2-week on-the-job-learning trip to Portugal in November-December, for those interested in / lack of experience from foreign countries... but I don't know if I can even apply there now because there's a possibility that my schedule could be filled with other kind of stuff that we're supposed to be doing for this degree at the same time, so. 🙃 I'm kinda mad ngl.
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tea-drops · 11 months
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life is fucking agony why the hell am I still in this god forsaken house.
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six-of-ravens · 1 year
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things causing me anxiety rn:
really need dad to understand that him getting a job basically to have something to do since he's retired means he should be the one taking time off work to get mom to/from her appointments and not me or my aunt, and he can absolutely tell his employer he needs an afternoon in April and a morning in May off for "medical appointments" like that's NBD, no employer is going to fire you on the spot for that (I think his anxiety comes from just Never having to take time off when he was working before, but he has to get used to it now!) Anyway me and my aunt informed him of this today (kindly) but I'm worried he won't take the time off even though we all agree it's unlikely mom will actually go to her appointments if she has to call a cab for herself (mentally we just don't think she's capable of getting around by herself very much anymore, like finding dr's offices in the hospital, and her anxiety would probably make her just Not go anyway).
also been having unsettling and gross dreams all this week and idk if it's a lingering period symptom or what but I'm really tired of waking up feeling gross and wondering what the fuck my brain is doing
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steddieas-shegoes · 2 months
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for @thefreakandthehair (and @vecnuthy and @wormdebut while we’re at it) because sometimes you help a baseball player through French class so they can stay on the team and then they end up on the Savannah bananas and you decide to put the fictional men into situations about it *shrugs*
Eddie was going to have to transfer out of this class. This was one of his easiest classes and it was filled with every jock on campus attempting to fill their foreign language requirement with French.
And they were all failing. And annoying. And obnoxious.
And a few of them were also hot.
But Eddie wasn’t gonna focus on that!
He was gonna finish today’s assignment and then head straight to the advising office to find another class that worked with his work schedule.
“Hey,” the guy next to him whispered as the teacher droned on about conjugating verbs. “Do you have any idea what the fuck the homework was?”
Eddie turned to glare at the person, but his face dropped when he noticed who it was.
The campus celebrity: Steve Harrington.
Couldn’t quite make it on the college baseball team, but managed to make the sort-of professional, but mostly joke team Hawkins Hooligans.
Eddie didn’t like sports, never had. He could appreciate that it took skill and whatnot, but he didn’t care much to watch it or make celebrities of people who were just really good at one very specific thing usually involving some kind of ball. But he could appreciate a joke. And this team had jokes.
Steve was actually apparently good enough to play pro, had even been scouted by the MLB his senior year of high school. One week before his professional tryout, he tore a muscle in his shoulder, had to sit for three months and had to do physical therapy for another three, and voila! No pro ball for him. No college either since he missed spring training.
But he still had skill, and he still had a father with a lot of pull in the business, even if it wasn’t quite enough to get him on the Yankees or whatever.
So he was biding his time on the Hooligans until next year when he could try out for the college team again, maybe increase his chances of a real pro career.
Eddie definitely hadn’t watched videos of him during their first few games of the season where they faced the Indy Idols and the Chicago Charades.
He definitely hadn’t gotten a weird flutter in his stomach when Steve had been the one to lip sync to Hot For Teacher while pretending his bat was a guitar.
He definitely didn’t have a crush on Steve.
“Uh. Dude?” Steve asked him again, shaking him out of his thoughts.
“Yeah. It was the study guide for the first quiz. Not due until next class though,” he whispered back.
“Oh. Thanks.”
Eddie turned his attention back to the professor, not really needing to pay attention since he already knew quite a bit of French.
A tap on his shoulder made him yelp, and the entire room turned to him. He waved apologetically before turning to Steve with a murderous look.
“What?” He hissed out.
“Do you understand this?”
“Yes and you probably would too if you stopped talking to me.”
Eddie was ignoring the voice in his head screaming at him to let Steve keep talking to him for as long as he wanted.
“I don’t think that’s it,” Steve huffed before sitting back in his seat and folding his arms across his chest. He mumbled something else that sounded like ‘I’m just stupid’ but Eddie couldn’t be 100% sure.
“A lot of this stuff is just English spelled a little differently.” Eddie sighed. “You could almost definitely figure it out if you took some notes.”
“Yeah, probably.”
Eddie’s brows scrunched together as he glanced at Steve’s red face.
Hm. There was definitely something to unpack here.
“You can borrow mine if you want,” Eddie offered as he watched the professor switch slides on the presentation. “I don’t really need them until the final.”
“Oh!” Steve sounded genuinely surprised by his offer, like he hadn’t been basically asking for help only a moment ago. “You don’t have to do that. I mean, it wouldn’t do much good for me anyway.”
“What do you mean?” Steve had Eddie’s full attention now.
“I’m. I-“ Steve sighed. “I’m dyslexic, man. Reading’s hard for me.”
Well, fuck. Eddie felt like an asshole now.
“Oh.” Eddie looked down at his scribbled notes, cringing at the thought of someone else trying to read them, let alone someone who already struggled with reading from a printed page. “Yeah, my handwriting is shit so it’d probably be useless to you. Shit, it’s almost useless to me.”
Steve snorted, immediately covering his mouth to avoid any more noise from escaping. Eddie could see he was still smiling though. His eyes were very expressive.
“Don’t you have accommodations?” Eddie asked him.
“Nah, my dad doesn’t believe it’s a problem.” Steve rolled his eyes. “Said I just need to focus more and it’ll ‘work itself out.’”
“He sounds like he’s a lot of fun at parties.”
Steve snorted again. “Yeah, a blast.”
“So you aren’t a natural at French?”
Steve shook his head. “I’m barely a natural at English.”
“I could help you?” Eddie was an idiot. An idiot with a crush on someone who would never be interested in anything he had to offer except tutoring.
“Help me? You’d help me?” Steve seemed eager, maybe a little desperate.
Eddie kinda liked that.
“I mean, yeah. If you’re actually willing to put in the work and not expect me to just do the work for you.”
Steve smiled. God, that was a nice smile. Eddie was absolutely fucked.
“I work well with a reward system,” he smirked. “If you’re willing.”
Eddie’s eyes widened momentarily as the realization sunk in that he’d just been flirted with.
By Steve Harrington.
“Oh, I can definitely work with that.”
Steve nodded once, grinned at Eddie as he picked up his pen and ripped off a small piece of his unused notebook paper. He scribbled something down and folded it once before handing it to Eddie.
“Let me know when I need to show up, Eds.”
Eddie unfolded the paper and nearly dropped it.
Stevie H. 555-555-0086 My dorm at 7? No clothes required
When Eddie looked back up, Steve was facing the front, seemingly paying attention to the lecture.
Eddie quickly pulled his phone from his pocket and put Steve’s contact info in. He could wait until after class to send him a text. He could.
Instead, he typed out something quick to hold them both over until later.
Studying naked is my favorite thing 😉
Steve’s knee nudged against his in response.
Maybe Eddie wouldn’t take that trip to advising after all.
And if he was featured on the next TikTok for the Hawkins Hooligans, with Steve fake serenading him in the stands, nobody had to know he didn’t really like sports.
He liked Steve, though. Even when Steve actually managed to play real competitive baseball. Even when Steve managed to get a spot on the Cubs.
Especially when Steve proposed to him during a game in maybe the worst recorded French of all time.
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afeelgoodblog · 15 days
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The Best News of Last Week
1. A branch of the flu family tree has died and won't be included in future US vaccines
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A type of flu virus that used to sicken people every year hasn't been spotted anywhere on Earth since March 2020. As such, experts have advised that the apparently extinct viruses be removed from next year's flu vaccines.
The now-extinct viruses were a branch of the influenza B family tree known as the Yamagata lineage. Scientists first reported the apparent disappearance of Yamagata viruses in 2021.
2. Hospitals must obtain written consent for pelvic and similar exams, the federal government says
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Hospitals must obtain written informed consent from patients before subjecting them to pelvic exams and exams of other sensitive areas — especially if an exam will be done while the patient is unconscious, the federal government said Monday.
New guidance from the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services now requires consent for breast, pelvic, prostate and rectal exams for “educational and training purposes” performed by medical students, nurse practitioners or physician assistants.
3. Germany approves new law that will allow adults to carry up to 25 grams of cannabis for their own consumption and store up to 50 grams at home.
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Germany's upper house, the Bundesrat, cleared the way to partially legalize cannabis on Friday. Adults aged 18 and over will be allowed to carry up to 25 grams of cannabis for their own consumption.
4. Tick-killing pill shows promising results in human trial | Should it pan out, the pill would be a new weapon against Lyme disease.
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Tarsus Pharmaceuticals is developing a pill for humans that could provide protection against the tick-borne disease for several weeks at a time. In February, the Irvine, California–based biotech company announced results from a small, early-stage trial showing that 24 hours after taking the drug, it can kill ticks on people, with the effects lasting for up to 30 days.
5. Thailand moves to legalise same-sex marriage
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Thailand has taken a historic step closer to marriage equality after the lower house passed a bill giving legal recognition to same-sex marriage.
It still needs approval from the Senate and royal endorsement to become law but it is widely expected to happen by the end of 2024, making Thailand the only South East Asian country to recognise same-sex unions.
6. French Revolution: Cyclists Now Outnumber Motorists In Paris
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Official measurements have found that Paris is rapidly becoming a city of transportation cyclists. In the suburbs, where public transit is less dense, transport by car was found to be the main form of mobility. But for journeys from the outskirts of Paris to the center, the number of cyclists now far exceeds the number of motorists, a huge change from just five years ago.
7. 'Miracle' operation reverses blindness in three-year-old girl giving her 'promising' future
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A three year old with a genetic condition that causes blindness is doing incredibly well after unique pioneering operation to restore her sight.
The UK is the only country performing keyhole eye surgery to inject healthy copies of a gene into sufferers’ eyes. It is being used to reverse blindness in children born with a rare condition which means they can only distinguish between light and dark. And it has given little Khadijah Chaudhry, born with Leber congenital amaurosis-4, a chance at seeing properly again.
---
That's it for this week :)
This newsletter will always be free. If you liked this post you can support me with a small kofi donation here:
Buy me a coffee ❤️
Also don’t forget to reblog this post with your friends.
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darklordofthesimp · 2 months
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Anything VIII (König x Reader)
The 8th instalment in the Anything-Verse
Main Masterlist
Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7
Like the characters? Read their fics below!
Sunshine Masterlist || Saint Masterlist
Series Summary:  A lack of information from the chain of command results in König mistaking you for an enemy sniper.
A/N: No one make any sudden movements. I have returned. Excuse how rusty my writing is.
Category: Angst || Hurt/Comfort || Unrequited Pining || Tension
Warning: Graphic Language
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What a sight you must behold. 
Sleepless, stressed and on the verge of your breaking point… again. 
It was no wonder that Saint watched you with deep concern, no wonder that they held their pen like it was a lifeline rather than just stationary. You wanted them to just understand, you needed them to know that you weren’t insane- everything was so elaborately planned and you were just on the verge of unravelling it. 
“Saint,” you rasped, “there are people in on this…. The brass. I think König too. It’s a fuck-fight.” 
The doctor leaned back into their chair, eyes never leaving your jittering figure. The sigh that fell from their lips released none of the tension balled tightly in their shoulders. 
“Birdy…” 
You stood to your feet. You didn’t want to hear it. 
You were sick of hearing people say your name in that tone: placatingly, diminishing your thoughts and dismissing you as if you were the local crazy. 
Maybe you were the local crazy. 
Is that how everybody saw you? Did everybody truly think that you were so off-kilter that you’d hallucinate a coup? You were a victim of assault- not insanity. 
“Stop,” Saint put their pen down firmly on the table, drawing your attention back to the situation at hand. “I’m listening. I’m just a little…  hesitant. It’s a very serious accusation, Birdy, but I’m not doubting the source.” 
You shot the medical officer a knowing glare. “Oh,” you drawled sarcastically, “because everybody takes me seriously at this unit with my history, right?” 
“I don’t give a fuck about whether anybody else takes you seriously,” Saint’s eyes narrowed dangerously. “I take you seriously, Birdy.” 
The room was doused in tension. Your fingers curled to form tight fists, skin stretching over your knuckles until they turned white. You don’t know why you were angry at their declaration, angry at their loyalty. 
Maybe it was because you knew it was misplaced. 
Maybe it was because you knew you’d disappoint. “Yeah,” you sighed softly, relaxing your hands as you turned for the door. “That makes one of us.” 
_______
The walk to training always held some anxiety but this time it was as if you were drowning in it. Each step felt like a death knell and sudden dryness in your mouth made you want to turn back and run to the safety of your room.
You thought that you were well and truly past this. 
Apparently, you couldn’t get past anything. 
As you approached the door you were surprised to hear voices. No one ever wanted to interact with König, let alone at 7 a.m. on a Saturday. The room was always booked for the two of you at this time, interruptions were specifically warned against by Price. 
It’s just a conversation. You took in a deep breath. Not everything required a downward spiral, not all mysteries needed investigation. 
Literally just a fucking conversation. Get a grip. 
You straightened your shoulders as you approached the door and the dialogue became clearer. 
“Birdy will be here soon.” König’s voice was as familiar as your own. “You need to leave.” 
You pulled up short just before the entrance, frozen like a deer in the headlights. There was a short silence before a soft thud echoed throughout the room. It sounded like a hand being clapped over the shoulder but you weren’t sure. Could have been a punch, could have been a really intense kiss, who fucking knew? 
All you knew was that they weren’t meant to be there. Maybe it was Sunshine. 
Although you hated the arrogant fucker, it would relieve you to know it was them. They were inconsequential and, although they were annoying, they wouldn’t be behind your assassination attempt. 
Sunshine would have made sure you were in the ground, no matter the cost. Sunshine would have succeeded. 
Instead, the voice that rattled in your ears wasn’t your fellow coworker. 
“Just be careful. Wouldn’t want to jump the gun, would we?” 
Your blood turned to ice.  
Graves. 
You could almost hear that snake-like grin in his words, you could almost see the look in his eyes that was nothing but predatory. Phillip was charming when he wanted to be, but there was something terrifying about him.
Like a trap lying in wait. 
Like a traitor waiting to strike. 
The sound of sure and steady footsteps snapped you out of your thoughts. Panic flooded your system, kicking your adrenaline into gear. There was nowhere to hide, not even a small nook in this god-forsaken hallway.
As Graves drew closer to discovering your presence, you bounced back a few steps from where you’d been frozen. Throwing your arms above your head as if you were stretching and squinting your eyes with an outrageous yawn was all you could pull together. 
Phillip rounded the corner with a cocky sway that made your heart race. You watched him scan your slowly approaching body, seemingly tired and unaware. You acted surprised to see him, carefully schooling your face to return to the usual lifelessness that it held. 
“Birdy!” Graves said, slowing his pace. With a flash of teeth, the corner of his mouth pulled upward into a knowing smirk. “Good to see you.”
“I bet,” you said monotonously, adding a dismissive nod at the end like a punctuation mark. 
Phillip’s smirk turned into a smile. 
“Enjoy your session,” the man said slowly. As he drew closer you could feel your chest tightening. He smelt fresh like he had just gotten out of a long, hot shower. You hated that he was close enough to smell the fucking body wash on his skin. 
His shoulder brushed yours as he passed by, setting your body alight with fear. You didn’t dare look over your shoulder as you trekked towards the gym door, eyes firm on that handle. His footsteps still echoed along the hallway by the time that you’d reached the entrance. 
“You’re late.” 
König’s voice startled you despite making direct eye contact with him. 
The man looked disgruntled, to say the least. His hair looked like he’d been running his fingers through it over and over, and your guess was confirmed when he roughly raked it over once more. König’s eyes were looking anywhere but yours. 
“I’m not.” You’d meant for those words to have some bite to them but you couldn’t muster up the venom. Not when he looked like that. 
“You are,” he insisted with a snarl. 
You raised your hands up in surrender, eyes narrowing at his hostility. The urge to leave grew tenfold and so did your distrust for the man before you. There were too many things that pointed towards his guilt in planning your assassination. 
The way he’d tried to blow off your concerns, the vehement way he’d shouted for you to drop it, and now, his interaction with Graves. You thought back to your time in the kitchen when Phillip had first encountered you both. 
“Now, who’d have thought that you’d both be so… close.” He had said.
The Shadow had watched with intrigue as König stepped in front of you as if protecting you from him. If you really thought about it, most of his smarminess was aimed at the man beside you, rather than yourself. 
You swallowed and choked on your own spit. It was a distant reminder of when it had been your own blood that you’d coughed on. 
König’s sigh tore you from your spiralling conspiracies. 
“I’m sorry,” he muttered. His tone was quiet but his eyes were genuine. 
“Yeah,” you cleared your throat. “No, it’s fine. I get shitty when I deal with Graves, too.” 
But why was he with Phillip in the first place? 
You wanted to ask him, everything in you pleaded to seek out the truth. You needed to investigate-, you needed to know. Your mouth opened to get the answers you so desperately desired, but a thought made you stop in your tracks. 
What if you let on that you were suspicious of him? 
It was clear that you were no match against König. Your entire life had become interwoven with his and it felt like he was there in your every waking moment. If he knew that you suspected him, it would only put you in danger again. He’d busted through your bedroom door once and that was enough to tell you that you wouldn’t be safe from him anywhere you went. 
You distantly realized that König was watching you carefully from where he stood, jade eyes analyzing every quirk of your lips and every twitch of your brows. 
“What?” You said, feigning self-consciousness. “Admiring your handiwork?” 
The man shot you a glare and you prayed that was enough to shift his attention. 
“I hate it when you say things like that,” he hissed, pulling his jacket down his arms and throwing it aside. “Seriously.” 
“Yeah, well I hate having a chopping block for a face.” You tilted your head to shoot him a deadpan look over your shoulder. “Seriously.” 
“I cannot deal with you sometimes, Birdy.” König hissed. 
“I can tell,” you jerked your thumb towards your marred features. 
You knew that you were playing with fire. The way the man stood straight, his gaze narrowing and any sense of banter dissipating from his features, made it very clear that it was time for you to stop pushing that particular button. 
“Your attempt at deflecting is not as effective as you may think,” König said, his words slow and deliberate. Jade eyes bore into yours and your breath stuttered in your chest. 
You could lie to him, you could play dumb. He was dangerous and if you tipped him off you would be dead by morning.
You couldn’t make sense of that logic, though. If he wanted you dead, you’d well and truly have been dead by now. Your cheeks stung at the thought… you suppose that there wasn’t a lack of trying. Maybe it really had just been a failed attempt. 
“Birdy,” the soldier said, shooting a glance at the door. “I know what you are thinking and you need to put a stop to it.” 
Those contesting thoughts came to a staggering halt. 
“I don’t even know what I’m thinking,” you snapped. “What would you know?” 
König raised a brow at your tone, opening his mouth to deliver what you would assume to be an infuriating response. The words choked and fell from his tongue, though. There was a huff as he turned on his heel, stalking towards the exit and closing the door. 
You swallowed thickly. 
When he swivelled to look at you it was with a burning gaze that pinned you to where you stood.
“You bring attention to us in ways that will get us killed,” König whispered harshly, his accent was sharp and heavy with each enunciation. “You need to stop.” 
“Stop what?” You waved your hands at him. “You’re so fucking vague.” 
He flinched forward, pushing his finger onto your lips. You smacked his hand away like a cat pawing at something irritating. 
“Would you be quiet?” He snarled through gritted teeth. König took in a deep breath, casting another look at the exit. He was watching the light beneath the door, making sure there were no shadows tipping off an eavesdropper. Why was he suddenly the paranoid one? 
“What the fuck are you talking about?” You lowered your tone but the urgency behind it was still present. 
“You need to stop chasing this lead,” König shook his head, gaze imploring. “You need to stop trying to find who planned the accident.” 
Your mouth went dry. 
“Is that a threat?” The words were a true whisper this time. Barely falling from your lips and only as audible as a soft gasp. 
König’s eyes widened. “What?” 
“Are you in on it?” You asked, taking a step backward. 
Bile roiled in your stomach as if mimicking a stormy sea. There was a distinct buzzing in your ears, numbing you to anything but the situation at hand.
“What?” König repeated. “What? No. That is not what I meant by that.” 
You shook your head, “the other day- the way you reacted says otherwise.” 
He reached out for your arm and you wonder if it was to comfort you or to detain you. You finched away from him but this time the man before you didn’t yield. He did not back down and he did not allow you the illusion of control. 
Instead, König held you firmly by your biceps. 
“I need you to listen to me, Birdy. We don’t have time for this back and forth thing that we do every time.” 
Rage tore through your chest at his dismissal and you would have told him as much had he not looked so desperate. Instead, you kept your mouth shut as the man watched you pleadingly. You would let him speak because maybe he had the answers you were searching for, maybe König would be the evidence to prove that these suspicions weren’t delusions. 
The man cast another glance towards the doorway before letting go of your arms. You straightened cautiously, being mindful to not rub at the skin he’d had contact with. 
“Well?” You whispered impatiently, waving a hand at him to continue. “You wanna manhandle me or do you want to talk?” 
“It’s not safe for us to talk here,” König’s words were barely audible. “You need to stop with your head-hunting. Stop asking questions.” 
His eyes were fierce, warning you not to challenge his demands but you couldn’t care less. He, of all people, had no right to be telling you when to chase answers.
He raised a hand before you could speak. “You are going to get us both killed because you gather intel like a child-” 
“What does that even mean?” You interrupted harshly.
“It means you have alerted everyone, Birdy!” König snapped, his voice harsh and his eyes flashing. “Whoever did this knows that you’re onto them. They know that we know.” 
You blinked dumbly, stunned. 
The man glared at you for a long moment, his chest heaving with laden breaths. The silence that eneveloped you both was anything but empty. There was a buzzing in your ears and you weren’t sure if you were relieved or horrified that he’d confirmed your suspicions. Blind rage filled your lungs as if you were drowning. 
“You mother fucker!” You hissed between gritted teeth, shoving at his chest with as much force as you could muster. “You fucking knew?” 
“Of course I knew!” König bit back as he stumbled for his footing. “I’ve been trying to find them and you have been hindering me every fucking step of the way, Birdy.”
You wanted to scream at the top of your lungs, you wanted to bash this man over and over just like he’d done to you. You weren’t insane but he was more than happy to intimidate you into thinking that you were. 
“How could you keep this from me?” Your fingers dug into the skin of his arms as you grabbed him. You wanted to shake the truth from the giant before you, rattle the honesty right from his mouth. “After everything that’s happened!” 
König didn’t so much as wince at your nails in his skin, fury simmered in his eyes like molten jade. “I was your main suspect and you outright told me about your suspicions while you were locked in a room with me, Birdy. What would have happened if I was actually everything you make me out to be?” 
You swallowed thickly, your fingers loosening their grip. 
“I could have killed you right there,” König continued softly, “at this rate you’ll die before you find them.” 
“You said I already tipped everyone off,” you rasped, almost meek in tone. “How have they not come for me yet?” 
The man rolled his shoulders, shooting another paranoid glance at the door. He continued talking as he scanned the room, searching for telltale signs of a third party.
“Everyone thinks you are disabled, Birdy, no one is taking your concerns seriously.” König straightened, levelling you with an evaluative glare. “But I knew better.” 
You drew in a deep breath, holding it in for a few moments before releasing just like Saint had taught you. Your heart squeezed in your chest at the thought of your therapist. You told them everything- König was right. You’d mouthed off your suspicions knowing that Saint and Price were close. What if Saint had told Price? Then Price would have told Shephard and Simon and then- God. 
You’re so fucking stupid. 
Of course everyone knew, you’d practically blasted it across the unit’s P.A system. 
“What now?” You managed to croak. “What do we do now?” 
König frowned at you, his body falling still. “We?” 
“You’re not leaving me out of this,” you ground out. 
“We are not doing anything together,” he said, eyes roaming over your features quizzically. Your heart lurched desperately, there was no way you’d let him do this without you. You deserved to be a part of this, you deserved to get your justice and whoever did this deserved to die.
“You owe it to me!” You nearly raised your voice, fear trickling down the expanse of your spine. Not a fear of the man before you, but this time it was a fear of being left behind. Left to paranoia, left alone with your thoughts and suspicions and no one to hear them. 
König shook his head, “we cannot work together.” 
“We have to!” 
“We can’t!” 
Your eyes were wide and your chest was heaving as the man before you gripped your shoulders. He lowered down to a knee, drawing close enough that you were only a breath apart. You opened your mouth to offer a shaky response but the way his gaze ran over your features stole the words straight from your tongue. 
“I will not risk your safety again, Birdy.” König’s words brushed against your lips, warm but sorrowful. “That is what I owe to you.” 
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Arthur is courting Merlin. Everyone in the castle knows… except apparently for Merlin.
Arthur gives Merlin a neckerchief. Two days later, he uses it to bandage a new knight’s wound. Arthur picks Merlin flowers and Merlin chops, grinds and boils them into remedies. Arthur tries to take Merlin on a romantic picnic and Merlin packs a crossbow instead of a picnic basket.
It’s driving Arthur insane. He’s so desperate that he’s almost to the point of actually talking to Merlin but he knows he can find the perfect gift to express how much Merlin means to him, he just needs to try harder.
He asks Gwen for advice. He buys Gwaine endless amounts of ale and pumps him for knowledge on Merlin’s likes. He pulls Lancelot aside after training and grills him on everything he knows about Merlin.
It becomes clear that Arthur needs to make a grand gesture. So when Merlin walks into his chambers that night, Arthur blurts out, “I know you have magic and I’m going to repeal the magic ban for you.”
Merlin shrugs his shoulders and nonchalantly says, “That’s nice” without even a thank you.
After preparing Arthur for bed, Merlin goes to the tavern for a celebratory drink. He sits beside Gwaine and helps himself to his jug of ale, ignoring the empty jugs littering the table.
“The Princess is trying to court you, you know?” Gwaine drunkenly slurs into Merlin’s ear, his arm slung across Merlin’s shoulders.
“I know.”
Gwaine looks cross eyed and confused. “But you rejected all his gifts and we all know it’s not because you don’t love him because you’re ass over kettle for him, completely looney—“
Merlin smirks, shrugs his shoulders and admits, “He hasn’t said a word about it. He just keeps throwing gifts at me and ordering me to pack picnics. He’s going to repeal the ban on magic for me and he can’t even say, ‘Merlin I would like to court you.’ Relationships require communication and Arthur needs to be taught how.”
The door to the tavern slams closed. Just inside the door, still in his sleep clothes and wearing his boots on the wrong feet, stands the King, wide-eyed from the sheer insanity of the man he loves.
“Merlin!” Arthur shouts in the suddenly silent tavern. “You absolute menace, fool and love of my miserable life, I would like to court you. Is that all right with you?”
Merlin smiles, takes a drink of his ale and only has time to say, “I suppose” before Arthur drags him back to the privacy of his chambers so they can snog each other senseless.
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