#it does not read to me as “this guy doesn't brush his teeth” it reads to me as “this is demonform aesthetic same as the MAGENTA HAIR”

[prince-liest]

Terrified by missionary anon here and oh my god I LOVE the way you reworked the ending of the last chapter!!! It had me squealing!! I was just a tiny bitty sceptical at first but at this point I can safely say I trust u with my life. Which makes sense considering ur occupation but u know what I mean

Also!!! I had a shower thought and I doubt there’s a better person to ask than you because your descriptions are always spot on. I think we can all agree that Vox smells good, but I was wondering what do you think Alastor smells like? 🧐 I vote for that rancid smell of rotten meat, with a hint of lacquer, like an antique shop, very coffin-esque. But I rly want to hear ur thoughts on this!!!

Ayyy, I'm so glad that you liked it! >:D I feel like a couple of years ago I would have been a lot more hesitant to just change my mind like this on something (and admittedly I did feel bad about it initially this time) but I've gotten to the point where I'm pretty comfortable going, "Bro, listen - bro, just trust me." about my own writing, ehehe. I'm pleased it's working out! >:)

Also, you've made a terrible mistake in asking me this question because I've recently become very interested in fragrances but I'm also a gourmand snob and have a very sensitive nose when it comes to food products and cannot stand the smell of things rotting, so I would just categorically refuse to imagine that any character I enjoy smells like rotting meat, klxjchfg.

Anyway, if I had to pick a style of fragrance or cologne for him for when he was alive, I feel like he'd go for something woody but warm. Those kinds of scents tend to be masculine and have a nature-y freshness to them that a guy who buries bodies in the woods would probably get a kick out of. And then add something like amber and musk to undercut the scent to make it feel warmer in a way that I think makes people read the wearer as a safer and more comforting presence, which is delightfully misleading.

As for what he'd wear in hell... Tsokovat's Inexcusable Evil, lmfao, no contest. The name is perfect, he'd think it was hilarious, and I've seen so many people say that it genuinely just smells unpleasantly like dousing yourself in fucking blood. Most people's reviews for this stuff call it really uncomfortable but compelling. Tell me Alastor would not think that this wouldn't be the most amusing perfume ever to force on the people in his presence.

[bluecollarmcandtf]

"Dude, I'm in your brother-in-law!"

Panic twists your gut as the bizarre scene sinks in! Those unnaturally clouded eyes are the trademark of Jimmy, your long-dead friend, and they're sitting in the skull of Carlos, your sister's fiance! The ghost is up to his usual antics, possessing yet another guy in your life without any regard to you.

"Did you imagine a tight gym rat like this would wear undies like these?" Jimmy chuckles, referring to Carlos' patterned boxers, "I mean how could you be so intimidated by a guy who's got hearts on his crotch?"

The underwear is the least of your worries: the man is supposed to be walking down the aisle in an hour! It may have been a dick move for your sister to get engaged to your high school bully, but that didn't mean you wanted her future husband to be late to the altar!

"Don't even bother asking me to get out of this body, dude!" the deep baritone of Carlos sings with Jimmy's cadence, "The only thing I plan on getting out of is this tux! Training like this needs to be appreciated, and who better to appreciate it than you? I'm sure you'd love to know what your sister is getting tonight..."

"I mean just look at these abs. It's like a rock hard washboard if you want a feel..." Jimmy winks one of his starkly blank eyes at you, "...speaking of being rock hard, it looks like you're enjoying this bonding time with your new brother-in-law. After all, Carlos does need to apologize for all the bullying he did in high school."

With a racing heart, you shush him and beg for Johnny to leave. He needs to return Carlos to normal before anyone notices! The wedding would be over if someone found the groom naked and flirting with the brother of the bride!

"If you're gonna be my new little bro..." Jimmy says with an unsettlingly accurate impression of Carlos' demeanor, "...then I think you should get to know me. Come on and grab my fat, meaty pecs; pinch my nipples; let me know who the real man is around here..."

It's hard to resist. You've only ever caught stolen glances at Carlos. The jerk would always shove you into a locker when he caught you staring in his direction, yet now he was begging for your attention.

"Come on, bro. Grab my athletic little ass and grope my crotch. It's the least I can do after targeting you for all these years."

Before you realize what you're doing, you find yourself rushing towards the shredded latino and pressing yourself against his exposed body, layered with dense musculature. Part of you still expected Carlos to kick you in the nuts and call you a slur, but his lips instead gleefully embrace your own.

"Damn, if I'd known being queer was this good, I woulda married you and not your sister!" he exclaims. You just roll your eyes, knowing Carlos isn't actually saying these things. Jimmy is just puppeteering his mouth for your amusement, "I bet having your dick in my mouth will be better than the tits of any girl! The only way a piece of crap like me can apologize is on my knees..."

You stifle a moan as all 200 lbs of the naked jock drops to his knees with a dopey grin. Carlos' soulless eyes stare at the tent in your pants like it's the most desirable thing in the world. It doesn't take long for him to unbuckle your pants and open his mouth...

...twenty minutes later, you're still catching your breath while Carlos slowly redresses.

"Now you can watch your sister marry this homophobic dirtbag and know that you've shoved your shaft down his throat," Jimmy purrs, enjoying his final moments in Carlos' form, "I'm not going to brush his teeth, so he'll have to taste you throughout the entire wedding."

You giggle at the thought of the guy wondering about the strange flavor in his mouth while reading his vows. Somehow, Carlos doesn't seem as big or intimidating as he once did.

"If it were up to me, I'd commandeer his whole life," Jimmy went on with a sparkle of enthusiasm in Carlos' clouded retinas, "I'd walk him out there in nothing but his heart-patterned undies and announce to his whole family that he's a flaming homosexual. Then I'd like to spend a couple weeks working his body as a stripper at the nearest club, and of course I'd come home to you every night..."

The idea of Carlos coming out to his orthodox family and working as a stripper is an insane one, but it did turn you on. It's too bad your sister's taken a liking towards him, otherwise, you'd tell Jimmy to go crazy with the guy.

"Imagine your old high school bully coming home to you every night, hot and sweaty from dancing all day, with a new skimpy costume for you to explore. Damn, I'd want you to find a new way to degrade me each night while I wore him. It'd be healthy, I think, after all he's put you through."

Jimmy's crazy ideas never cease to amaze you. A little time belittling Carlos sounds hot as hell!

You give Carlos one last kiss and remind your paranormal buddy that he has to leave soon. The stud frowns, looking sad that he won't be possessed by a gay spirit anymore. At least you know that if this man ever screws up, if he ever wrongs your sister, if he ever hurts her; Jimmy is just one seance away from charging back in his body and making this twisted fantasy come true. It's only a matter of time before Carlos screws up his marriage, and then he's yours.

You almost can't wait for your sister's marriage to fall apart, and it hasn't even begun...

[nomazee]

keep my blankets warm and my name in your mouth

after a night of soaring through belobog's liquor, you finally face the consequences of it on the floor of your hotel room. thankfully, dan heng has experience with taking care of idiots (i.e. you)

dan heng x gn reader — drunkenness, sweet and sappy and sarcastic, dan heng is probably ooc, reader is trailblazer but this is set vaguely in canon & lore doesn't matter, stupid people who love each other but never say it, are they dating or are they toeing the line of cohabitation in the middle of a hotel room?

sequel here

notes: oh gawsh hey guys... yeah yeah it's been forever since i posted but i giggled at all the requests i miss and then instead of doing those i wrote this, but TRUST i am getting back to all of you in a timely manner i love you all thank you so much for sticking with me, i'm coming out with a follower event once i hit 1k (soon) so be excited! love you guys and enjoy

—°+..｡*ﾟ｡*ﾟ+.*.｡.—

Dan Heng is an awful caretaker, really, and you should’ve known this because of his deadpan and often awkward nature. It just never really occurred to you until he’s truly saddled with taking care of a living, breathing thing—i.e., you, drunk and vomiting into a trash can after a spree through Belobog’s bars. 

In your defense, having no memories means having no experiences to your name (other than everything you’ve been through on the Express so far, which is maybe more near-death experiences than you’d like to have), and you heard that being drunk was just something everybody experiences at least once. 

Then, Pela texted you that one time asking for quick tips to sober up, and it dawned on you that you don't even know what that feels like, and then—who cares, really, you don’t have half a mind to think of your tragic pre-drunk backstory when you’re trying not to die of embarrassment as Dan Heng maneuvers you in a way that won’t get vomit on your clothes. 

The cold tiles of the Goethe Hotel en suite bathroom aren’t enough to bring you to full awareness, so you let Dan Heng ragdoll you into kneeling over the trash can and pull any dangling accessories away from your, um, line of fire. 

“Why would you guys let me do this?!” you wail in disbelief, trying to hold back a mouthful of bile but ultimately failing as you cough into the bin again. You’re truly betrayed at the thought that your closest friends wouldn’t warn you of things like alcohol poisoning, and pacing yourself, and how many drinks is too many drinks. 

“I didn't let you do anything,” your friend retorts, because he’s evil and mean and awful at comforting you, “I told you it would be a bad idea. You’re the one that still went out.” 

“Did I puke in front of everyone?” 

Dan Heng pauses, which is always a bad sign. It means he’s thinking, really thinking about what to say. “At the very least, you puked in the snow and not inside the restaurant.” 

A desperate wailing noise escapes you yet again. Life is cruel, and Dan Heng is crueler. He should’ve told a sweet little white lie and you would’ve been none the wiser and a lot less mortified. “Himeko laughed so hard when we found you that Welt had to make her leave.” 

“Just kill me,” you whisper into the trash can, full of your hopes and dreams and the remnants of your dinner and drinks. “I can’t go back to the Express. Execute me and give me a gentle death.” 

“No need to be dramatic,” he says, annunciating his words in that odd little way he does, and it makes you want to kiss him and read a dictionary to you, cover to cover. “You need to drink water, and then brush your teeth. I don’t trust you showering right now so you have to wait until the morning.” 

“Oh, Dan Heng,” you keen, with the grief of a spouse watching their partner go off to war, “you don’t even want to wash my hair for me?! You just think I’m— I’m a drunken slob!” 

“Be quiet,” he commands through his teeth, embarrassment warming him up—you can feel it, the way the tips of his fingers go a little bit warm from where they rest on your shoulder and the side of your face. “You— I don’t think that. You need to brush your teeth.” 

You definitely are not brushing your teeth tonight. You tell Dan Heng as much but he just rolls his eyes and compromises with a travel-sized bottle of mouthwash that he pulls from the cabinet under the sink. He’s so prepared. Or maybe that’s just the hotel staff. Regardless. 

You rinse your mouth out once you’re fine enough to let Dan Heng pull you up to your feet and rest you against the counter of the sink. He has to remind you multiple times to not swallow the mouthwash, and you bat at him childishly for thinking you’d ever do such a thing—except, you definitely would have drinken down an entire mouthful if he didn't say anything. You can’t bear to look at your reflection in the mirror. You just pray to whatever Aeon is listening that there’s no awful stains on your clothes, and that you don’t smell so terrible that Dan Heng goes running the minute he lets go of your arm. 

“Where’s March?” you whine out as he leads you from the bathroom to the main hotel room, trying to gently set you down on your bed but giving up once you immediately fall into it like an ungraceful rock. “She would be so much nicer. You’re mean. Do I smell bad?” 

“I’m not mean,” he tells you, sure of himself and the twist of his mouth as he avoids looking you right in the eyes. “You don’t smell. You need to go to bed. And lay on your side.” Petulantly, and not without some kicks of your legs and flails of your arms, you find yourself situated under the sheets of the hotel bed, sock somehow off your feet now as Dan Heng pulls the blankets right up to your shoulders. 

“I’m on my side now. Do I get a reward?”

“Why would you need a reward?” 

A disgruntled tsk escapes you and you look up at Dan Heng with an exasperated expression. It’s pitiful enough to guilt him into kneeling down beside your bed so that he’s at eye level with you. “Because I went through so much tonight,” you slur out, words starting to mix with each other as a result of your remaining drunkenness and the exhaustion of the night hitting you. “I’ll take a, um— a gold star, or something.” 

“I can give you a cup of water in the morning.” 

Another dreadful wail escapes you. You’ve never faced evil more potent than Dan Heng, and by the stupid twinge of a smile on his face, he knows what he’s doing. You hate how endearing he is, and how he dangles little treasures like this in front of you. You’re brought back to the heat of his fingers from earlier, the gentle touches he left on your shoulders as he let you puke your guts out without even flinching. As much as you joke, you know Dan Heng’s kindness comes from a lack of evil. Comes from a supporting weight against your arms, comes from travel-size mouthwash, comes from staying in your hotel room until you fall asleep and double-checking that you’re on your side. 

In the morning, you’ll take the cup of water, and you’ll take him out for breakfast, too.

—°+..｡*ﾟ｡*ﾟ+.*.｡.—

[somewhereincairparavel]

General Jason Grace headcanons ⚡

⚡ I feel like he's kinda sensitive. He isn't the crier type of sensitive tho but since he's super emotionally attuned to body language reading and stuff, he gets a little hurt easily, sometimes misinterpreting someone's behaviour to him, so maybe if one of his friend's start getting snappy with him because they're having a bad day, he'd actually be pretty damn upset about it, but would hide it.

⚡ Also also, this man HATES being yelled at. Sure, he's been trained harshly and stuff but he's very hard on himself too so I feel like if someone yells at him (like in an argument or something) the poor boy's whole day would be ruined.

⚡ This is also why I feel like he NEVER raises his voice harshly at anyone even if he's super super angry because he knows how much damage yelling can do.

⚡ But. He can still manage to be terrifying if he's mad. He'd have that intense icy stare directed at the person (I'm pretty sure this is canon and is pointed out by multiple characters in the books). And his voice would be steady but VERY firm and strong. Kinda like a strict dad.

⚡ Also, his eyes would get a slight shade lighter if he's super angry. Like he usually has bright electric blue eyes right? It would just turn into ice colured ones.

⚡ Okay I feel like before they all go to bed, he'd go check on everyone in the Argo ii to see if they're comfortable or if they need anything, etc. definitely an overbearing mother friend tbh. He gets this habit from camp Jupiter where he was kinda in charge for cabin rounds since he was centurion.

⚡ I hc him to have like lemony yellow hair, instead of platinum or golden blonde. It's not too light but it isn't dark either.

⚡ Why do I feel like sun tan literally never affects this guy? Like for instance, I totally hc that percy gets tanned pretty quickly, but this man's skin just wouldn't budge. Instead of his body getting tanned I feel like his hair would get a few yellow shades darker instead lol

⚡ I felt like he'd be sunburnt instead tho. There would be blotchy pink patches on his face and arms after he comes back from the beach.

⚡ He definitely LOVES his roman baths, could spend hours in that bath (honestly if u guys have seen traditional Roman baths, you'd know that they look like a spa day DREAM omg) so he would feel super disoriented when he has regular baths in chb instead and would miss Roman baths SO badly.

⚡ Like the Roman baths literally ease his muscle tension after a long day. It would be like the only part of the day in camp Jupiter that would actually feel relaxing for him.

⚡ He's such a foodie okay. Remember how he kept munching on his brownies religiously when the crew were in such a dangerous situation? ("Pass me the brownies bro") or when he loved the sweet stuff the snake people had made for them? Like food just makes him forget his duties and be a kid for once.

⚡ Which leads us to our next hc, he has such a sweet tooth! (Tho I feel like this was aluded many times in the books aswell). Like he's every dentist's nightmare tbh. He has like teeth stains which he'd deliberately try to get rid of by aggressively brushing his teeth (it does come off lol)

⚡ As opposed to what people usually assume about him. Jason is secretly such a hopeless romantic tbh. Nothing like his dad in that category. Remember how he snuck Piper out the window, led her into his secret rooftop passage simply to recreate their first kiss under the stars, since Piper was super upset about it being fake? Yeah, he hates upsetting his s/o. he's like super thoughtful and plans stuff like these days ahead so he doesn't forget :(

⚡ He's such a people pleaser even with people he barely knows, and the effect only doubles when he has a partner tbh. Like if his partner doesn't like a particular place? He won't like it either. So he needs someone to encourage him and tell him it's okay to like something the others dislike.

⚡ Which is also why I think that he'd be easier to emotionally guilt trip and manipulate. :(( somone wrap him up in a fluffy blanky pls

⚡ As opposed to canon, I feel like Jason only dislikes Camp Jupiter, not New Rome itself. He ADORES that place to shreds. I feel like instead of settling in a mortal area or something, he'd definitely stay in New Rome for long-term living (bc screw canon, him wanting to leave new Rome all together seems SO ooc to me idk) some parts of his roman self would ALWAYS be there tbh. That place was practically his home. Also, he only wants a peaceful, monster free life right? New Rome would obviously provide with all that, yk since they have a strong barrier for the city to prevent invasion.

⚡ He would have an aptitude for sculpting statues and stuff. He'd love to do it as a hobby, not like an architect or something like annabeth tho. He made such cool dioramas for his shrine ideas, so I feel like he just pours his heart and soul into making cool sculptures.

⚡ He would totally study in law school. His dad's legit the god of justice, he's a great speaker, can hold debates calmly, can canonically hear both sides of an argument before coming to a decision, seems very lawyer coded.

⚡ But he'd also be a good history professor. Have yall heard his yapping? Leo called him professor Grace for how much dedication he goes into explaining roman history. And he genuinely LOVES it. A very passionate teacher material to me.

⚡ Also, all he wants is for his partner to listen to him talk :( he has SO much to say but he feels like no one listens, so hed literally cry if someone takes interest in his long explanations (kind of like annabeth in this tbh)

⚡ Also, Octavian can NEVER argue with Jason because that man is just THAT good at smart and witty answers that even octavian saw him as a threat.

[ghouljams]

You mentioned once that Price's demon darling is also named Price and that has had me thinking for like days now. How would her powers work compared to the other demon darlings we've seen? I've been like binge reading all of your series and they are all so good.

Price's demon is fun, because I don't know how he got them. He might have summoned them like Soap did, he might have earned them like Ghost/König, I don't know. But what Price needed in a demon was an interrogator, a negotiator, something that could get the information he needed no matter the price. That's who he got, and he's managed to keep a lid on their existence for as long as he's had them. Mostly because he doesn't want the jokes about the demon sharing his name.

Price's demon's name is subject to change because it's a little confusing to tag.

Sometimes to be the good guy, you have to be the bad guy. Price knows this better than anyone. He knows that the rules of engagement only matter if you get caught, and that war crimes are a dime a dozen where people aren't looking. He knows he's never going to see the pearly gates or come face to face with an angel, he's made his peace with it. At the end of the day the only person he has to be alright with is himself.

And you, of course, but that's a separate issue.

He stands now, in front of what anyone would consider a waste of space. It's a tidy operation, as far as trafficking goes, but the people operating it only ever seem to come in one make and model. Slimey.

The man duct taped to the chair spits on Price's boots, swears at him, doesn't seem to be the least bit cooperative. "Sweetheart," Price calls to the room at large. He knows your here somewhere.

"You know that's not my name," You tell him stepping out of the jagged shadows. You're used to this song and dance by now, done it enough times.

"Then stop responding to it," he tells you with just a hint of fondness in his eyes.

"Maybe I will," you grab the trafficker by the back of his head and force it back, "maybe I'll go to the brass and report you for harassing me."

"Empty threats get us nowhere," Price smiles, watching as you push one of your thumbs against the corner of the man's eye. He flinches and jerks away from you, or tries to. Your grip on him is unyielding. He screams when you pop his eye free from the socket, and sever the nerves with one of your nails.

"Let's see what you've been up to," you mumble, standing and tossing the eye into your mouth. It pops like jelly under the sharp points of your teeth, and you pick through the visual data for what you need. Codes, passwords, people he saw, documents signed, maps and transportation logs. You're careful to carve your findings into the man's chest so you don't forget. Dragging your nail through his skin, writing with blood and flesh. Price hands you his phone and you take a picture to send to Laswell.

"Eardrums next," Price tells you.

"No, please, I can talk, I'll tell you what you want to know." The man begs. You twist his head to the side and lengthen your nails.

"Sorry to disappoint you, but your participation isn't really necessary," You dig your nails into his ear canal like needle nose pliers. Maybe you should've eaten his voicebox first, see what he's been saying, it would've made this process a lot quieter.

When you're finished the man is full if holes and you're full of intel. Price hands you a towel to wipe your hands off, and scrub the blood from your lips. He catches you when you turn away from the body, takes the towel to get a last streak of blood off your cheek.

"Good work Price," he hums, you grin.

"Thank you Captain." He says your name so rarely, you try to enjoy it when he does. You hook your fingers in his tac vest to pull him closer. His eyes dart to your lips, but when you lean in to kiss him he leans back.

"We're still working sweetheart," his fingers stroke your cheek to keep you from pouting.

"Later then?" You ask.

"After you've brushed your teeth," he agrees. You gasp in mock offense, and he smiles. You have a long day ahead of you.

[fennecfics-the-simp-king]

Cuphead Show! King Dice & Devil x Reader preferences (romantic):

Heyyyy I’m gonna be posting more x Reader stuff here. Also some words are censored because Tumblr is a meanie and won’t let me swear in my fanfiction-

The gender for (Y/n) is vague, but it does have menstrual cycle preferences mixed in, along with some talk about these two respecting pronouns and that jazz so, yeah.

Hope it’s a fun read, I might post more of these guys.

Being in a (romantic) relationship with The Devil would include:

• It’s actually hard for him to fall in love or even trust others, so it’ll take a while for him to say “I love you”.

• Though the first time he’ll ever say “I love you” (most likely after a few months of you two dating) it is immediately followed by a scrunch of the face and him going. “That was… strange..” 

• He forces you to live in Hell with him, and only lets you visit Earth on special occasions. Family stuff, friends, but other than that YOU’RE STAYING!!

• He’s so dramatic whenever he has to cut his nails. He’ll run away from you, or hide. Once, while trying to find him to cut his nails, you found him on the ceiling.

• Despite hating his nails being cut, he will literally beg you to paint his nails. He won't just do one color though, he likes to change it up a bit. Sometimes he'll ask for grey, gold, red, but he loves the black nail polish!

• Whenever he has to do stuff that he doesn’t want to do, he tries to argue that he’s the devil and because of that, you can’t tell him what to do.

• One of his favorite activities is burning bibles, so...you have to deal with being woken up to the smell of smoke at 3AM.

• He's still not fond with current technology, but he does seem to enjoy Netflix.

• Devil giving you weird pet names: Darlin', succub!tch, shmoopie, baby-cakes, cow-pie, and tortoise-pigeon (Being the main nickname).

• If you ever need to practice your makeup on someone, Devil won't mind. He likes how it makes him look.

• Surprisingly enough, this guy brushes his teeth regularly. He got them pearly whites. That, and he doesn't want to loose his sharp teeth, they're his favorite, apparently they make him look intimidating.

• Devil is a man of art, very therapeutic for him. He loves to paint, sometimes he’ll want you to pose for him. And he's actually quite quick when it comes to painting.

• Both you and Henchmen helping him whenever he basically gets electrocuted by the sweater. The two of you are practically the only people he trusts, with Dice being the third.

• He doesn't care what gender you are, or if you're trans. If you're still you, and if you're not lying about anything, he won't care. Along with that he also doesn’t KNOW anything about that stuff, so you probably gotta help if you want him to understand.

• Even though he's the devil, he would never want you to feel bad about yourself. He loves you unconditionally, he would kill anyone who makes you feel that way, steal their soul, eat it, then spit it back out ‘cause it’s clearly rotten!

• If you go through the menstrual cycle and are having bad cramps, he gets very…awkward. He’s not very affectionate with others so he has no idea how to comfort people. He’ll most likely just have some of his little demons looking after you for a few days.

• He tries to use correct pronouns, he mostly slips up though, and he won't realize. You just have to be there to correct him for him to actually notice.

Random example:

(He's showing you to someone)

"Yeah, she's really adorable, isn't she?"

"It's 'they'.”

"...AHHH!" *frustrated demon noises*

• He’s not frustrated at you or the fact you use different pronouns, he’s frustrated at himself for not doing it right. So don’t worry.

Being in a relationship with King Dice would include:

• Probably says “I love you” way too fast, and by that I mean on the first date. 

• If you wear makeup he’ll experiment with it whenever you’re asleep. (The masculine urge to wear your partner’s makeup)

• One of his favorite parts of your body happens to be your hands. He loves how perfectly they fit into his. Sometimes he’ll preform a type of show using his hand and your hand as the actors.

• If you go sit in the audience him during Roll The Dice. He'll immediately see you in the crowd and blush for the rest of the show.

• When he knows you're in the audience, he'll say this while announcing to everyone: "Ladies and gentlemen! ..and (Y/n).." (he'll whisper your name under his breath, but loud enough for the microphone to pick it up.)

• King Dice ALSO giving you some (semi)weird pet names: Darling, fuzzy dice, you adorable gambler, my wild card, little poker, and pumpkin.

• The personification of drama. 

• Has a lot of gossip and info on the other famous people of Inkwell. Will tell you this gossip. You will listen. You have no choice-

• This man may seem like he knows how to do shit on his own, but he actually needs help with most things. Such as you having to help with this man's bow-tie every morning, because he just cannot figure it out for the life of him.

• Perfectionist, such a damn perfectionist. He won't go on with his day without him looking perfectly chipper, and he also spends hours in the shower. Really making sure to run up those water bills.

• A little sensitive about his age. If you ask him about it, he’ll say "that's not important" which is an oddly a creepy answer-

• If you wake up early, you'll find Dice in the bathroom just looking at himself in the mirror with a blank stare. If you actually enter the bathroom, he'll be so terrified that he jumps INTO the shower and closes the curtain to hide himself.

• He's mostly insecure about his pips, or dots. He knows he's getting old, because his color is fading. So...he buys lipstick to cover the faded coloring. But you smudged it once while he was kissing you, and he reacted like he was dying.

• He fiddles with his mustache when he's nervous and yet hates if tell him it makes him look like a villain.

• Much like his boss, if you go through the menstrual cycle he gets ungracefully awkward. But he tries to be very casual about it, despite his awkwardness being obvious as hell.

• “Oh, it’s that week?” Silent for a second. “Do you need me to get you anything or ..no?”

• Will buy you everything you need. And since stuff like tampons were fairly new in the 1930s and therefore most likely a tad expensive, thankfully he does have the money for it.

• If reminded, will carry some on him for you. If reminded that is, I’m putting emphasis on “IF REMINDED” for a f—king reason! Guy’s on autopilot all day, he’s famous but also has pretty much everything done for him, and so he doesn’t have to think about much.

• If not reminded he will completely forget and therefore freak the hell out if asked if for some.

• Like The Devil, he has no idea what being Non-binary means, or Bisexual, or anything related to that. I’m not saying he’s straight….He’s not, he just doesn’t know there are words for stuff like that other than ‘homosexual’ and a few other words I can’t mention-

• So, he'll mess up a few times when trying to use the correct pronouns, except he'll correct himself very VERY quickly. 

• "He- THEY.. are my partner. I said they, of course I did. I would never say anything other than they.” Silence for a few seconds before then saying in a much more serious tone: “I said they.”

• He cares. He’s just stupid/j

[silliestlittledemon]

Aziraphale as a caregiver headcanons!

• I think he already knows what age regression is when you tell him, maybe he doesnt fully understand it... but he's probaly read about somewhere and knows what the concept of it is.

• He would be very glad to be taking care of a little! He's very happy to make you happy.

• Would write all ur boundaries down in a little notebook to make sure he doesn't overstep any.

• Honestly he'd just be the sweetest and most gentle caregiver ever!? LOOK AT HIM! That's literally my dada:3

Random headcanons :)

• He'd give you a lot of praise and compliments, he wants to make sure you know you're loved and that you're the best kiddo ever! (Which, to everyone reading this, YOU ARE!!! ILY AND TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!)

• The amount of patience he has is unreal. Which makes him very good with tantrums, he's able to stay very calm and patient the entire time, being able to help you in the way you need :)

• He'd have a looot of rules, but all reasonable ones ofcourse. He just wants to make sure you're looked after properly.

• Finds every and any way to calm hyper littles down. He'd try to distract them with stuffies, sweets, anything to get them to quiet down. The biggest reason he does this is becauce he knows he cant survive running after a hyper toddler all day.

• Reads you a bedtime story every. single. night. and he probaly enjoys it even more then you do.

• Would definitely spoil you rotten and only feel a little teensy bit bad about it. He cant help it, he just loves making his little one happy.

• He has a very gentle touch, always making sure you're alright with him hugging you and touching you. He'd absolutely adore snuggling with you.

• He's so supportive and would be cheering you on on every little achievement, 'Oh you cleaned your room? Good job love!' 'Oh wow you brushed your teeth all on you're own? That's wonderful dear!' sjjsdj <3

Thas all! Yay I made more headcanons:3 Which i totally did not do cus im very little at the moment and can NOT sleep send help pls</3 I probaly jus need to put my phone away which i totally (wont) do in just a second. anyway this is so fun to write:D You guys have no idea how much comfort caregiver! Aziraphale gives me:< I wanna hug him so bad. Anway x2, im open for any requests! :3

Any k!nk or f3t!sh content DNI!!

[curvykittyyssmutfics]

Jason momoa is dating his shy hairstylist! reader who really really wants but shy to ask him to eat her or fuck her up XD sorry

In the mood for somethin sweet

'Christ, his hair is a freakin jungle!' you think as as you stick the rat tail comb between your teeth and reach around ya man for the detangler. His eyes unknowingly watch you in the mirror, appreciating your curvaceous figure, but your too busy trying to unsnare his luscious blonde tipped locks. It's a real challenge to not huff out your irritation for him never brushing his damn hair. As his personal hairstylist you know it's factual information that if you don't do it then it doesn't get done.

Moving from behind Jason, you part his hair and start on the front. You're so concentrated on holding his hair from the root as you comb to avoid hurting him, you fail to take in his eyes raking over your juicy brown tits in his face. He licks his lips and continuously stares as you lean closer for better access.

You get a whiff of his cologne and its some effort from you to not nose his neck. Dammit, why does this fine ass man seduce you every appointment without even trying. How many times had you left the shop with an achy throb between your legs, just wishing he was going home with you instead.

Hell, it didn't make a damn lick of sense that guys still haven't fucked yet. This taking it slow nonsense was gonna be the death of you. But the way he petted your pussy always took you to another dimension, made you wonder what else he was good at. You've woken up from too many bomb ass wet dreams of what that mouth might do.

"Geez, Jase.. Why don't you just cut this all off. It's obvious you don't want it." Your irritation at his blatant disrespect for his hair comes out without your permission.

"Now why would I do that when it gives me excuse to come see you, sweetheart?" Jason responds with a hearty chuckle.

You feel absolutely pathetic that the nick name makes your tummy churn and heat bloom in your cheeks. Your so damn glad you can't blush. Your ok with your usual routine of avoiding eye contact during appointments but then rushing home to rub at your sticky little puss after he leaves.

"You can't possibly love coming in my shop every Friday evening, it's the weekend! Don't you have plans?" You ask, as you move on to comb and style the front of his hair.

"Yeah, I got something reeeal fun in mind for tonight actually." He licks his lips as he speaks, voice dangerously low while he continues to gaze at you through the mirror with piercing eyes.

Your mind races as you wonder what he could be about to get into. Maybe plans for a solo night? It's hard not to imagine him alone in bed, body glistening with sweat as he pumps at his fat dick desperately. Does he moan loud when he's all alone? You wonder if he likes to tease and edge himself.. Naw, you think, he seems like the type to go straight for that nut. Fuuuuuck you know he must cum buckets. The thought makes your thighs involuntarily squeeze together repeatedly hoping for some relief. You just KNEW he had a monster cock that could fuck you into oblivion. Your hands move in his hair instinctively, as you day dream about your sexy beefy ass client.

This doesn't go unnoticed by Jason. He watches you in the mirror as your chest rises and falls a bit faster, a light perspiration starting to cover you. You're nibbling your lip in a way that makes him wanna pounce on you, still rubbing those thick ass thighs together. He KNOWS the center of your lollipop is fuckin sweet.

"... Sweetheart?"

You only catch the end of his sentence thanks your nasty ass imagination. Fuck, your embarrassed. Never have you ever been so ready to get dicked down.

"Sorry, what was that?"

You still refuse to meet his eyes in the mirror as you move to finish styling the back of his hair. If you did peek, you would have immediately recognized his knowing smirk for what it was. He might as well have the power to read your mind.

"I said what are you doin after our appointment?" He repeats, hoping like a muthafucker that you'll be doing him.

"No plans, jus gonna go home and chill alone I guess."

"Why don't we grab somethin to eat? Fuckin starvin, princess." He suggests.

"Ok-kay, what're ya thinkin?"

You're a bit nervous. This was sudden. You've been out a few times in public together already AND it wasn't like the world didn't know you two were dating. But you guys had manage to stay in your own private little bubble and as introvert, it's been the best feeling in the world for you. Still, you crave any time you can spend with Jason, especially considering his hectic schedule for his upcoming movie.

"I'm thinkin somethin sweet... Maybe a little juicy? I don't usually do this but I'm tryna skip to dessert tonight." He says, smiling lewdly.

With your y/e/c eyes trained on his hair, focused intently on the small section you have left, you're missin all the cues. He thinks he might just have to lift up your snug little jean skirtand pin you down; start to eat so you finally understand he's tryin to feast on that pussy for dinner.

"From where? Oh! There's this cute little place, I think it's close by-"

"Woman.." He interrupts, and you recognize that commanding, dominant tone.

That's Daddy's Voice. You had hesitantly joked about it with the Jason the first time he unintentionally but successfully used it while he fingered you till you gushed on his sheets.

You fix your gaze to his, setting your hot pink comb down as you finally finish. You know what he wants to eat in an instant as he leers at you lewldly. As much as you want, no NEED this, you can't help but take a step back reflexively at his wolfish grin. Boy lookin at yo ass like he gone eat you alive!

Jason notices your retreat and in no way in fucking hell is he letting you get away that easy. He stands quickly, glancing at the mirror in appreciation, and runs his fingertips from the front back of his hair. He absolutely destroys your middle part, per usual, but somehow his sexy careless style looks far better than yours.

He then stalks your way and this time your steps backwards are intentional. Your horny ass boyfriend catches you easily though with firm hands on your waist as your back hits the wall. You look like a deer in headlights as he pulls you close, meshing your pelvis to his. His half hard chub feels thick as fuck against clothed mound, makes you close your eyes with quiet stuttering gasps of pleasure. Jason bends a bit to speak softly at you ear, watching you closely as to not miss one reaction from your shuddering body.

"You gone finally let Daddy taste his pussy or what?"

Your ears ring, his question on loop in your head. His thrusts increase in pressure but he keeps his snail like pace. The slow drag of his hips muddy your mind and you find it hard to focus on an answer.

Jason's okay with that though. He'll let your body speak for itself then. Kneeling in front of you, his large warm hands caress your denim covered ass, your soft warm thighs, and smooth cocoa brown legs. Reluctantly breaking eye contact, he silently taps on your furry black platform Ugg slippers and you lift each foot so he can remove them. You watch intently, as Jason lifts your left leg at the ankle and lays a soft kiss right below your gold dangling ankle bracelet.

"Pretty." He comments on your toes painted blood red nail and a matching 14K gold toe ring.

You wanna say 'thank you' but his lips continuing upwards, after he puts your leg up on his shoulder, render you speecheless besides your quiet moans. He leaves a molten hot trail that spreads warmth through your body and has you bucking your hips impulsively.

"Don't worry. Daddy's gonna give you what you want sweetheart, what I NEED. Cant wait to taste this pretty little puss."

Jason glances up your body, looking briefly at the diamond necklace he gifted you resting on your heaving chocolate tits. He notes how pretty you are in your sky blue tube top, as he lifts your skirt up and pulls your black lacy little thong to the side. He can tell you want this but still sees that hint of shyness in your gorgeous eyes and he can't have that shit! Doesn't mind suckin it out of you through your pussy if he has to.

You get no warning as he attaches his lips to your clit, reapeatedly sucking forcefully on your sensitive little button. The feeling is so intense you wonder if he's trying to inhale your poor quivering pussy. Even when your head smacks against the wall, the thud booming, there's no repreive. You stare blankly, mouth open wide, emitting loud panting pleasured whines as you gasp for breath.

"Daaaddy, aaah aaah Daaaaaddy." You've never moaned his title during him pleasuring you before but it's like he pulls it out of you.

His rigid dick jerks every few seconds in his black jeans from the way you grip his freshly styled hair, pulling it while crying and dripping all over his mouth. He wants so badly to slide his cock into you, knows for a fact that his pussy would be hot, wet and welcoming to him. Is more than positive you'll be his good little princess and let him breed you to his hearts content.

His fingers trace your soaking wet opening before teasingly pushing the tip of his index finger in and out with leisure. It may not be his monster cock but his finger is fuckin thick and is just what you need. He's glad he's got the wall to help him hold you up because he's losing concentration as you flutter frantically around his digit, trying to suck him in further while he licks at the pink of you vehemently. He wants so bad to feel you clutching at his dick like this; It's maddeningly to Jason not being able to fuck into you and drain his balls into your little puss. He can't wait till get his chance to overstimulate you till you beg and plead for him to stop.

Jason's middle finger joining his index snaps your back in a mean ass arch as you wail and try to push him away by his forehead. But your strength is nothing compare to his. He leans into you, snatching both your wrists in one hand and holding them tight as the other continues it assault on your insides.

"Ohfuckohfuckohfuckoh fuckmeeeeee Daddyyyyy!!" Your screams bounce off the walls of your salon in echos and your more than glad you locked up and sent everyone home early for the night.

His leaky cock spasms in his snug black briefs, twitching to the same beat of your rapidly clenching pussy unbeknownst to either of you. He hopes to God he don't bust his nut in his pants right now.

"You knoooow what I want princess." Jason moans against your clit.

He serves you a harsh suck while moving his head back, pulling off your clit with a loud SMACK of his lips. Your eyes rolling back as you convulse and lustfully hump at his mouth. That tells him all he needs to know as he repeats the action again.. And again.. Again.. Then once more. He doesn't get to do it a 5th time as you unexpectedly start creaming against his now swollen lips.

"Daddydaddydaddydaddydaddy!!" You can't scrounge a single ounce of embarrassment at your desperate pleas for him.

His stare is penetrating as he continues to nurse on your contracting little puss. You shake and shiver, trying to yank your wrist from his grasp with no luck. Your body twists and turns while Jason holds you between the wall and himself easily. With creased brows and your cute button nose scrunched, you squirt and spray in little gushes. Fuuuuck just what he expected from his perfect girl. You cum loud, long and hard for him.

Only when Jason's beard drips of your essence onto your salon floor does he relase his grip and cease his mind blowing torture. His big dick tents his pants but he stays kneeled before you. A wet patch of precum on his pants is easily visible.

You're eyes meet his in an instant, entire body vibrating with euphoria from your orgasm, you know what you want next. So you tell him, licking your plump lined lips sensually.

"My turn, Daddy.."

[octuscle]

Lord, all I want is to turn my roommate into a hot biker my age, around 18/20 years old…. My current roommate is just a nerd, showers everyday, and is too clean. I want a goofy, dumb biker boy roommate please!

Your roommate really is a pain in the ass. He's constantly lecturing you about some astronomy shit that you're really not interested in. He plays video chess with some friends who live in the middle of nowhere and talks to them in Klingon. Everything about him annoys you. The noises he makes when he breathes. The way he brushes his teeth. His quirk of always wearing funny colored socks. Yes, he's probably a genius. He's only 16, has no hair on his sack yet, but is already a sophomore in college. But that doesn't change anything. He's unbearable!

The first thing you notice is his language… His nasal British English becomes harsher, his language simpler and simpler. And you could swear there's an accent mixed in… Something funny. Russian? He's probably learning a new language in his spare time now. You could puke!

"Sup, comrade?" he greets you as he arrives home very late by his standards. You look at him questioningly. "Hey man, I come driving school. You always say that you're half man without driver's license." You never said that. You didn't even know he didn't have a driver's license. You smile painfully. And go back to your Playstation. Your flatmate lies on the bed with his shoes on and reads a car magazine that he has obviously picked up at driving school. Boy, he's really off the wall today.

You are woken up the next morning by your flatmate. He comes in the door in a sweat. "That was good training. You have come with me tomorrow" he grunts. Damn, the Slavic accent seems natural and not at all fake. Maybe it's always been his language and the British accent was artificial… Your flatmate sprays a little Axe under his arms, gets dressed and disappears. "Driving school" he mumbles on the way out. What he does, he does consistently. But it's never happened that he leaves without making his bed and tidying his gym clothes. Okay, he's never been to the gym before.

When he comes home in the evening, he's talking loudly on the phone. I have no idea what language that is… Russian? Could also be Bulgarian, Serbian or something else. In any case, his squeaky voice has given way to a pretty impressive barition. Without greeting you, he throws his heavy leather jacket and helmet on the bed and goes into the bathroom, continuing to talk on the phone. His baritone gives way to a groan, followed by a loud "Fuuuuuuuuuck". He comes out of the bathroom grinning, stows his cock away and asks if you've cum today. Otherwise he would suck you off. You decline with thanks. And regret it just a few minutes later.

It's 06:00 when your roommate's alarm clock rings. Has he been sleeping naked? In any case, he goes to the bathroom naked. A few minutes later you hear him wanking again. You don't hear him showering. But when you see him coming out of the bathroom, still naked, you see his semi-hard cock. And it's impressive. Maybe you should ask him today if you can suck him off. You ask why he's up so early. He answers. "I got new job. And I want pump first. Will come with me?" "Maybe tomorrow," you reply and close your eyes again. Half asleep, you notice your flatmate putting on a boiler suit and heavy work boots. A leather jacket on top. He picks up his rucksack and helmet and noisily leaves your room.

The guy who comes into your room in the evening is not your flatmate. At least not at first glance. He notices your questioning look. "I cut hair. More handy with helmet. Like it?" He kneads his impressive bulge. He smells of sweat, leather and engine oil. You get a hard-on and fall to your knees.

Your flatmate is actually more of a lone Slavic wolf. He doesn't make a big deal out of it. He loves his bike, he loves his job as a mechanic and he loves pumping iron. Pretty much in that order. But sometimes he needs a pillion. Someone to suck his cheesy uncut cock. And you love that job.

Slika pronađena @zakucavanje

[eatingstringcheese]

headcanons - tenya iida

in which we dive into the world of headcanons for tenya iida

warnings: none

❬ 🖉 ❭ ━━ GENERAL

»❁» this boy brushes his teeth after every meal, no need for Colgate Whitening Strips here

»❁» his eye sight is fucked because he used to stay up and read in the dark

»❁» "pog, yeet, cap" and other internet slang confuses him but that's okay

»❁» holding doors is a hobby for him

»❁» his favorite songs are Fly Me To The Moon, Break My Stride, and Moral of the Story

»❁» book smart himbo level 100

»❁» he has dry eyes and wants to wear contacts but can't because they give him a headache

»❁» he likes to organize for fun

»❁» he uses the Suave 2-in-1 body wash thing

»❁» his cologne = Versace Dylan Blue

»❁» sweaters, khakis, and button downs are his casual clothes, hoodies and t-shirts scare him

»❁» king of dark/light academia aesthetic

»❁» the american school system pisses him off

»❁» Turbo and Bolt are his favorite movies

»❁» he likes skincare but barely knows a thing about it

»❁» he's a very big supporter of the LGBTQ+ community and loves to educate people on gay and trans rights

❬ 🖉 ❭ ━━ BEST FRIENDS

»❁» you guys met because you were failing in class and Iida volunteered to tutor you. his uptight nature and your laid back attitude rubbed off on each other and now you're almost inseparable

»❁» he talks about you to his family a lot

»❁» he's pretty over-protective so you coined him with the nickname "dad"

»❁» your hangouts consist of movies (he lets you pick) and then skin care because he likes it and you're pretty good at it

»❁» when you guys have sleepovers he wants to get to bed at a good time but you end up laughing your ass off at the smallest things while tenya tries to quiet you down

»❁» if you tell him you're hungry he'd hesitate to ask where you wanna go because he cares about you but knows you want fast food or sweets which is not the healthiest of options

»❁» you tried to teach him some internet trends but he failed

»❁» when you're cold he'll give you his uniform jacket (at school) or the sweater he's wearing

»❁» you bought him a t-shirt that said "#1 Dad", he was very offended. not by what the shirt said, just the fact that you dared to buy him a t-shirt

»❁» you make fun of his stiff movements and he pretends to hate it (he doesn't, he thinks it's funny)

»❁» worries about you alot

❬ 🖉 ❭ ━━ DATING

»❁» he asked you out during one of your tutoring sessions, a date at the mall food court

»❁» your mall date was chaotic, you went to the arcade, window shopped, and had lunch in

»❁» respects your boundaries, always asks for consent before touching you in any way, hand holding, kisses, hugs ALL WITH CONSENT FROM BOTH PARTIES :D

»❁» protective (bordering overly) but really he just loves you, when you talk to anyone else he freaks out a bit but tries to assure himself that you'll be fine

»❁» (if you're afab) he'd mark your period in his calendar because he's cool like that and he'd make you feel better :D

»❁» when you're sad he does his best to make you happy because you being sad makes him sad

»❁» he's a good boy so he'd kiss the back of your hand like a gentleman

»❁» he likes when you play with his hair

»❁» could and would go on and on about how perfect you are when he's talking to midoriya and uraraka

»❁» you guys like to bake together

»❁» you bake all kinds of muffins

»❁» he calls you "muffin" because of it

»❁» when you bake he'll hug you from behind and with his arms around your waist and resting his head on your shoulder so he can smell your cologne/perfume/soap or whatever you use (he really likes when you use vanilla shampoo yk)

»❁» you could tell him he's poggers and he'd look at you super confused and then research it to learn but then use it really awkwardly like "this new book i'm reading is totally poggers- muffin, did i use that correctly?"

»❁» if you got married he call you his lady/deity/prince :D

»❁» on road trips he'd give you control of the music because he drives and if you fell asleep he'd turn on something classical

»❁» lofi? he's never heard of it, but once you introduce him he's hooked

»❁» he thinks your stunning and likes to remind you how much he loves you

lmk if u wanna be added to the taglist :) like n reblog if u enjoyed <3

[snobgoblin]

Slave The Day is interesting to me because it like... it really gives an insight to Billy's life and personality and the gang as a whole. Billy pledges his loyalty to the girls after they save his life. does this imply that perhaps Ace saved his life at some point? or does he stick around for a different reason. we also know that Billy can be resistant to authority when protecting those he has sworn his loyalty to, like when he scolds the professors ("If Buttercup doesn't wanna eat vegetables, she doesn't eat vegetables!") and that makes me wonder if perhaps he does a similar thing in jail, like if someone tries to get one of the gang to do something Billy might step in to hold up for him. AND THEN it's also really interesting to me that completely unprompted, Billy helps the girls with their nightly routine. he helps them brush their teeth and hair and then reads them to bed. NOW... that's INCREDIBLY interesting to me because like, you wouldn't expect someone who grew up without parents to know to do these kinds of things. UNLESS he remembers when his parents did those things for him at some point (I really doubt Ace or anyone else would) which, when you consider that Arturo remembers his father, that would imply that MAYBE the entire gang did have parents long enough for them to remember them, but they all ended up on the streets for one reason or another. Arturo's dad went to jail, and maybe the other parents could have done the same or maybe even died or maybe the guys just ran away

AND THEN LIKE when Billy's reading to them it's kind of a medley of different fairy tales, he's not actually reading the book, just smashing together things he remembers. which. again implies someone told him those stories a long time ago

and another thing- these shots reminded me of each other. I wonder if Billy ever has the guys sit in his lap like this

[sometimes-men-need-help-too]

I wanted to share this reddit post with you. The comments are primarily in his favor so I don't have any screenshots to share. It's just crazy. So this guy was asking if he was in the wrong for asking his girlfriend to use a different body wash. Here's the original post:

The main thrust of this post is, I am allergic to nuts and my girlfriends bodywash contains almond oil. It isn't life threatening for me to come in contact with it but it does cause hives. I asked my girlfriend (Jess) to change the body wash she uses as I am getting hives from residue of her body wash in the shower.

Jess was initially fine with it after a small back and forth but has since spoken to friends and believes that I am being too controlling, as do her friends. My friends are mostly neutral with a couple saying that I need to "nut up" and let her use whatever she wants.

A little bit of added context is that we recently decided we wanted to move in together and decided to do a "trial run" as Jess still lives with her parents and I rent my own place. So it's easy enough for her to move in with me for a few months to see if living together full time works for us.

It's never been a problem before now as I've never had a reaction from touching Jess after she uses it, but I am having a reaction from the residue that is left in the shower, usually on the removable shower head which I need to use to get clean because I'm a big dude and just leaving it up there doesn't reach everywhere.

Jess has always been aware of my allergies, she doesn't eat nuts if she knows we're going to do anything together and the few times when she has, she thoroughly brushes her teeth before seeing me.

And here's the update:

I know that I only responded to like one comment, but the amount that I received was honestly overwhelming. So, thank you to everyone who responded. I did read all of them. I thought I'd post this update to tell you guys what happened and explain a little bit of why I made the initial post. For those who were wondering about ages, I'm 21 and Jess is 25. My friends hover around my age and hers hover around her age.

I wish I could come back and say that I had seen my own value and got myself out of the relationship, but the truth is that Jess broke up with me two days after the post. I was still thinking, and she asked to meet up to discuss things. I went in hoping for the best but was met by her telling me that it wasn't working, and she didn't see a future for us where we're both happy. That hurt a lot.

I've spent the past few days sort of realising how stupid my original post here was, OF COURSE I'm not an asshole for not wanting to come into contact with something I'm allergic to.

I think a lot of you probably wondered why I even had to ask. The truth is that I felt like I was going crazy. I genuinely liked and respected her friends, I thought they were really smart. So, to be told that this was the opinion of my girlfriend as well as theirs made me take it very seriously. When I went to my friends and received no support or validation, I started to convince myself that I was wrong.

I also actually learned from the comments that continued exposure could worsen my reactions so that's handy to know now.

This is so messed up. I have a pretty serious garlic allergy that I have to take precautions for so I get it. The reaction from the friends just screams ignorance to me. It isn't about control, it's about his life. Besides, even if he would never have a bad reaction, it's still something that should be respected.

[sgiandubh]

'We few, we happy few, we band of brothers'

It is one thing to disprove and even despise The Shire and its netizens. It is a whole other affair to violently bash S's skills, based on absolutely nothing else than spiteful disappointment.

We are being told by Mordor's basement polymaths the man cannot act. It is probably by an unelucidated strike of luck or by charity that he was cast by *** to embody book boyfriend JAMMF, when he has only 5 (five) known facial expressions in his quiver. He was the weakest link of Season 1 cast: I suppose the BJ/Frank Randall 2-in-1 does have a fan club, after all. His acting is wooden. He has chemistry only with C and by Her grace only, because you know, gay as a bag of popcorn. He is a semi-literate hunk, with documented spelling problems. Even more so, when we conveniently toss aside the mounting hysteria during Quarantein Ha-wa-wee disgrace (hey Pooks and all the sock account Dobermans: I hope you remember your Twitter blaze of glory moment every single morning while brushing your teeth). And (also a favorite) he doesn't read, he doesn't prepare, he is sloppy, like that.

God forbid you'd try to set this colossal unfairness straight. You are automatically signed up to the Mommies for Sam Committee and labeled accordingly. Brainless victim (of what, since he is basically useless, but let's not embarrass ourselves with logic), unapologetic limerent inamorata, romantic whale, delusional rural shipper, conspiracy theory troll. Anything goes, really and we know the tune by heart, at this point in time.

Not so long ago, I was re-watching the oath sequence of (5.01) The Fiery Cross, for which I suppose all background/context is superfluous. The only clip I could find has appalling sound, but should still immediately take you back to the Return of the Kilt (starts at 0:56):

It immediately reminded me of this:

This is the extraordinary Henry V Saint Crispin's Day speech. Pure Shakespeare and unmatchable Olivier. It is also a well-documented kamikaze moment of the Battle of Agincourt (1415), when a heavily outnumbered English army defeated in an almost miraculous turn of events the French. Granted, the real speech must have been way more concise, but nevertheless a potent affair, with Henry's cunning use of rumors having it that the French would cut two fingers off each captured archer's right hand, to virtually neutralize them. And his army was, essentially, an army of longbows.

Whatever it was, it worked. It worked so well, that it even gave Winston Churchill the idea of asking Laurence Olivier to broadcast this speech for the BBC some time around 1942 and then make a movie of the whole play, in 1944. Again, context is important -it always is, by the way - and it sheds the right light on Olivier's performance. More than acting, it is damn effective war propaganda, a wonderful patriotic act and completely representative for the "we shall fight them on the beaches and we shall never surrender" spirit. It is also all about acting as summoning of energy: Olivier manages to channel Henry V, he is Henry V and this immediately gives an irresistible depth and truth to his performance.

For contrast, one could compare his version with Branagh's 1989 interpretation (https://youtu.be/y1BhnepZnoo), which I am not adding here for the sake of levity. The main difference is, for me at least, palpable: Olivier completely suppressed his ego, which I am afraid is something impossible to achieve for Branagh. His take on the speech aims to be more modern and natural, and yet it is still all about Branagh promoting his art. And we know it immediately. A fairly honest tableau vivant, but no depth and nowhere near as majestic as the other.

I am not saying here that S is on par with Laurence Olivier. That would really mean being a romantic whale and I am the one you start to get, I hope, acquainted with. What I am saying is that this guy you just love to humiliate and endlessly cackle about every single day God makes, really, deliberately knows what he is doing in there. I would bet handsome money on S carefully watching and re-watching Olivier's Saint Crispin's Day monologue, in order to prepare for that particular scene. The similarities are, to me, evident, as is the consistent hard work and - dare I say it?- massive talent. It's all about owning the scene and being in the moment. And it is arresting, at times.

All of this is not exactly some shipper far-fetched speculation. S wrote, after all, in Waypoints (and the reference is way too spot on to believe in a kind gesture of the ghostwriter) that he "devoured"

I see great things. I see a very gifted guy who has no ego (C was spot on and for an actor, that is a blessing) and also probably no idea of his (considerable) acting range. I also see a guy who, spare for OL, has been grossly, unfairly miscast and overlooked. And who was determined to take whatever was available or easy on the schedule, in order to remain relevant. I may not be a good client for his booze, but I would pay handsomely to see him in something along the lines of For Whom The Bell Tolls. Or even (if you want a more exotic but oh, so rewarding alternative) a still inexplicably missing Western adaptation of Bulgakov's Master and Margarita (probably not the best times for that one, but still: Bulgakov was, after all, born in Kyiv and not really a fan, to say the least, of tyrants). That's exactly how damn good he is.

How was it, Kidneystone BIF? Oh. "No boundaries. No respect. No class." Exactly, madam. You said it yourself.

[cupparosielee]

One of the most heartbreaking moments in Dale's storyline is this tiny little scene after he tells Noelene to set up the interview with Kay.

He's just got back from waking up with The Fear (which Sam plays brilliantly, by the way) and sneaking out of that random guy's house.

He doesn't even look at himself in the mirror when he reaches the bathroom.

Then when he does glance up at his reflection it's for such a brief moment and he looks absolutely disgusted with himself. He barely looks up at all, but for this one moment that he does he looks awful, and he looks down again so quickly. It's like he can't stand to look at himself.

Then this next few seconds make me feel so uncomfortable every time I see them. He's brushing his teeth normally at first, but then it gets quicker and more aggressive to the point where it sounds like it has to be painful. You can hear the brush clattering off his teeth. It's horrible to watch.

As the scene finishes he still won't look up at himself. He keeps his eyes down and he just looks defeated.

The way I read this scene is him feeling so ashamed of sleeping with a man the night before that he's punishing himself for it. He's scrubbing himself clean because he can't stand the thought of what he's done. Everything about this little 30 second scene is riddled with guilt and shame and self loathing and it is so hard to watch.

So little happens but Sam's acting is so brilliant that you can really feel every thought going through Dale's head here.

[sweeterthanthis]

Aww, would you look at that? Your new neighbor is getting a show.

Your boyfriend doesn't mind. He likes showing people you're his. 🔥

The Devil You Don't Know

Pairing: Destroyer!Chris x F!Reader x Dark!Nick Fowler (sorta 🤭)

Summary: Your husband loves to show you off. Little does he know, the new neighbour in town has far more in mind than just sitting back and enjoying the show.

Warnings: Explicit sexual content, vaginal sex, exhibitionism, voyeurism, dirty talk, mild possessiveness, male masturbation, mentions of infidelity, dark undertones, 18+.

Word Count: 850

A/N: It's been a while. Life has been crazy. Wanted to dip my toe back in the pool. Be kind. Thank you @navybrat817 for always knowing exactly how to destroy me! 💗

All my works are 18+. If you click the read more tab, you are agreeing that you are 18 or over, have read the warnings and take responsibility for your own media consumption. I do not consent to having my work translated or posted anywhere else.

“Come on, baby. You got another one for me?” Chris croons in your ear; one hand curled over your shoulder and the other gripping the nape of your neck. The sound of his flesh slapping against yours rings through the air, the window in front of you misting with every panting breath that escapes you. “I know you do. You’re still standing, aren’t you? Won’t stop pounding this pretty pussy ‘til you can’t hold yourself up anymore.”

Your fingers dig into the window ledge before you, forehead seeking out the cool relief of the glass. You don't remember how you got there. Just moments ago he was eating your cunt like his life depended on it on the couch. You know Chris enjoys showing you off. Everytime he takes you out you feel the pride that radiates from him when people see you on his arm. But this? This is entirely new. 

“Think he’s jerking off, sweetheart? I bet he is. Poor guy’s probably sittin’ there wondering how good you feel.” All you can do is moan in response, catching two of his fingers between your teeth when his hand snakes up to toy with your mouth. You hum around his digits as they hook the inside of your cheek, allowing yourself to be tugged back against his chest. You whimper when his cock brushes that tender spot inside you, slurping on his fingers, drool seeping from your lips and dripping down onto the sturdy rings that adorn them. “You can be louder than that. Know you can. Let him hear you, baby. Let him hear how good I fuck my girl.”

Your eyes flit to the open window. If you weren’t so blissed out, you might be embarrassed. Bracing yourself, palms flat against the glass, you grind yourself back against him; humming in contentment when his free hand dips between your legs. You shiver at the feel of flesh-warmed metal against your clit, Chris’ fingers expertly working the sensitive nub, swiping back and forth at a torturously gentle pace. 

“Chris,” you whine shamelessly, “need more. Faster. Please.” 

“My fingers? Or my cock?” He taps your cunt with his palm, grinning against your shoulder and grazing the skin with his teeth. “Be more specific, baby. Use those big girl words for me.”

"Your cock." You cringe at the thought of your new neighbor being able to hear your pleas, but you could care less if it means you get to come on your husband's dick again tonight. “Fuck me harder. Make me come. Use me.” 

Chris all but growls against your throat, his arm winding its way back around your waist, holding you tight as he pounds into your soaked, spent cunt mercilessly.

You can barely make out the outline of him in the window across the street, but you know he’s there. You know he watches you. Has done every night since Chris decided he was worthy of a sordid little show. You haven’t met him, and honestly, you’re not sure if you could face it if you happened to bump into him in the neighborhood. Not now that he’s seen you fall apart at the capable hands of your husband multiple times this week. 

“Know why I let him watch, baby?” Chris asks, his voice husky and his breath hot against your ear. All you can do is shake your head, moaning loudly in time with each brutal thrust of his rigid cock into your cunt. “Let him watch because it gets me off knowin’ that other men wanna fuck my girl. Knowin’ that there isn’t a chance in hell that I’d let him. You’re mine. This is my pussy.” 

“Yours,” you groan, feeling every inch of him and trembling when his hips grind against your ass with each firm, insistent thrust. “Only yours.” 

Nick Fowler isn’t one to sit back and watch someone else take what he wants. Even if that possession happens to have been in someone else's hands before he even set eyes on it. He wasn’t exactly excited about moving into the shitty little neighborhood, but you? Well, you make it almost tolerable. 

Laying low isn’t something he’s used to, but now that he has a little game to play? Well, he’s not as bored as he thought he’d be. He raises his glass to his lips and swallows down a heavy mouthful of scotch, tongue flattening against his palm when he licks at it and moves to wrap his hand around the meaty, throbbing dick standing to attention in his lap. 

Nick Fowler only keeps his distance for so long, and soon enough he’ll have you exactly where he wants you.

Beneath him, clawing your nails down his back and crying out that he’s the best fuck you’ve ever had.

It won’t be the first marriage he’s ruined, but if you’re as soft and pliable as you look from afar, you’ll be holding his attention for a lot longer than the last. 

A/N: I no longer have a tag list, but if you want to keep up to date with what I post follow my sideblog, @sweetersficlibrary​, and turn on alerts to be notified whenever I post something new 💕

[jungwnies]

pairing ― gn!reader x enhypen synopsis ― what pda is like with enhypen warning(s) ― kissing + teeth rotting fluff

rate ― sfw genre ― fluff + headcanon word count ― 764

♡ ― tysm for reading + this was a request i'm super happy this is my first enhypen req!!! ― follow + reblog + like ― the love is always appreciated

♡ ― JUNGWON

◦ so cute, literally SO CUTE ◦ he doesn't keep you away from cameras but he doesn't ever do too much in front of cameras ◦ just cute simple hand holding ◦ sometimes a kiss here and there ◦ literally the softest uwu-est shit infront of cameras ◦ in public when there's surprisingly no cameras he will kiss you but not so often ◦ he just prefers to kiss you behind the scenes bc he get's all shy and flustered (/ω＼) ◦ burrows his face into your neck once he realizes he just kissed you in public

♡ ― HEESEUNG

◦ the cameras be catching y'all kissing n shit im not even gonna lie ◦ not too much though ◦ sometimes it's just him keeping you close by having his arm wrapped around your waist ◦ sometimes his arm is thrown over your neck and you're holding it ◦ get's so cheeky and smiley when he notices the cameras are rolling and he just kissed you ◦ also enjoys taking pics with you or going on v-live with you tbh ◦ he doesn't mind pda but nothing too heavy ◦ definitely cares that there are people watching and suddenly gets shy

♡ ― JAY

◦ doesn't really care if he people are watching or not ◦ not saying he's shameless, but he's fine with kissing you in the public eye and in private ◦ per usual, definitely prefers being private with you but he won't hesitiate to kiss you in public ◦ definitely holds your hand ◦ or like heeseung keeps you close by keeping an arm snaked around your waist（˶′◡‵˶） ◦ also enjoys kissing the top of your forehead in public because of the height difference ◦ most of the members are just really soft with pda since they're all so young >ㅇ<

♡ ― JAKE

◦ omg shy baby ◦ gets so flustered when he kisses you in public ◦ not saying he won't because he definitely enjoys showing you off to the public and to the cameras ◦ but his face definitely goes red and he burrows his face into your neck just like jungwon ◦ always holds your hand in public, it's comforting to him ◦ never lets you go istg ◦ definitely keeps you close, but only by hand holding ◦ pecks your cheek sometimes ◦ holds all your stuff so sometimes he doesn't have the hands to hold yours ◦ doesn't mind pda but definitely a shy baby (*ﾉωﾉ)

♡ ― SUNGHOON

◦ cocky ◦ sooo cocky ◦ yet so shy LOL ◦ definitely gets shy kissing you in front of the cameras but then brushes it off saying it's because people were staring ◦ leaves the quickest and smallest kisses on your lips in public – they're always the sweetest though ◦ always has your hand interlocked with his ◦ ^^^ ALWAYS ◦ literally he never lets you go, you're stuck with him stg ( ˘･з･) ◦ like i said, he does get shy sometimes especially if there really ARE a lot of people ◦ but if there's not a lot of people or when there's only staff, he's all up on you frfr

♡ ― SUNOO

◦ AWEEEEECJSNKDCNS ◦ PDA WITH SUNOO, so soft and cute ◦ he definitely gets all giggly and smiley when he does any act of pda with you in public (source: trust me) ◦ always holds your hand, it's like second nature to him to hold your hand in public ◦ will you give you a quick kiss and then get all giggly because he knows people are looking >ㅇ< ◦ not necessarily shy but just super excited and happy when he gets to go out in public with you ◦ nothing too crazy, but definitely soft & fluffy ㅠㅠㅠ

♡ ― RIKI

◦ omg the ,,, the maknae ◦ literally so soft ◦ always has his hand in yours in public ◦ also the guy who NEVER lets go ◦ a drink in one hand, your hand in the other ◦ doesn't really kiss you in public unless the two of you are on a date ◦ the only time he did something "crazy" was when you were playing bowling and his just lifted you up, kissed you while spinning around because you got a strike ◦ get's super shy when cameras and eyes are all on the two of you guys ◦ prefers to kiss you in private, especially since he's so young (￣ε￣〃)

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