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#it doesn't pass any judgement
secondbeatsongs · 1 year
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"DNI if you-" this and "Don't follow if you-" that; you're all cowards. just put this in your bio like it's 2007
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sevenhundred721 · 11 days
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I can't wait to learn more about Vegapunk Lilith. What is Stella's idea of the evil within himself? Does it have to do with his "sins" of creating the Mother Flame and studying the Void Century? Is evil his ambition and desire for peace that is ultimately too rash and short-sighted and leads to catastrophe? Because we know Lilith cares about her comrades. We know that she is helpful and pragmatic. We know she ISN'T defined by greed or violence. So how is she evil? Because I don't believe for a second that she doesn't somehow fit Stella's idea of evil in a way we haven't been shown yet. But I'm so eager to find out what that actually means.
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rimouskis · 11 months
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one of my new coworkers so delicately straddles the line between "pretentious" and "deeply interesting/cool" and I'm very curious if he will STAY on that line and not fall off into one end or the other
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sage-basil · 11 months
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Man back when we only had one trailer and one illust a year ago I thought the white haired maybe-feline girl was going to be the protagonist. I wish I were right
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featherymainffins · 4 months
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Family is clearly just prolonging my and my mother's misery by forcing me to text her on special occasions and send her gifts, which is giving her false hope that her only boxing bag might come back and endure whatever she decides to take out on it again.
#if it were up to me I'd block her number and never even hear anything about her again#she made her choices and I swear to god i tried to be a good daughter and take them#when university told me that we should try to stay in contact with people in cults because it's much harder to get out without#a support system i tried to take it because of that if nothing else. i told myself that I'll take it. that I'll take it because maybe one#day she'll want out. i tried to.#maybe I didn't try hard enough I don't know. and if that's right then the universe can add it to my endless list of sins which makes me#not a human. the universe can add it to the list of reasons for why I'll never lead a happy life and why I'm better off dead.#that's what I've been told when i was growing up after all.#i tried to but it's just. it's her life or mine. and if she were mean just to me I'd let her take it. if it were just me I'd let her say all#those horrible things to me and I'd stand there and let her punch my limbs until they go numb like i always have#and I'd let her tell me that nobody will ever love me and I'd let her do her invasive checks of my body and I'd let her have those#episodes of searching through my entire room and breaking into my accounts to see if I'm saying anything about her ever to anyone#and calling my doctors and telling them that I'm crazy and not to believe a word i say.#I'd let her do all that as i always have. but she's horrible to my friends and horrible to strangers and it's just too much for me.#I don't want to hear that my friend killed herself in vain and I don't want to hear that you'll never use her name because#'it was just a year before he offed himself so it doesn't count.'#I don't want to hear any of it. i don't want to hear that all my friends hate me and I don't want to hear how horrible they are#and i don't want to hear slurs you use against them and I don't want to hear you say those things about random people you#meet on the street and i don't want to hear you passing moral judgement on strangers because of the way they do their hair#or the way they dress or the way they were born.#I don't want to hear that all my friends with tattoos are rotten and that cancer awaits them as punishment#I don't want to hear any of it. I'm sick of it. i don't want to hear 'youre a censoring bootlicker' whenever i say that i would like you#to tone it down. 'its my opinion. i have a right to free speech.' free speech is not saying that my friends should die.
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mwagneto · 3 days
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hungarian/nomadic magyar tumblr circa 998AD dashboard simulator
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🏞️ vándor-ló-979 Follow
not yall still spreading emese's foundation myth??? she literally claims she fucked a bird????? like either she's lying or she cheated and she's trying to cover it up or well. i dont even want to consider the third option
🪺 magánügyek Follow
tengri forbid women do anything???
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🦅 szél-könnyű-szárnyán-szállj Follow
okay im sick of the discourse let's do this.
8,572 notes
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🐎 istván-rovására Follow
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that took so long lmao -> !!!!!!!∧◇ᛏ⋈∧
481 notes
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🐴 csillagösvény Follow
i'm so serious rn if you support """istván""" in any way just unfollow and block me. we do NOT need him or his dumbass god and what he's been doing to our people to spread his religion is shameful.
🐴 csillagösvény Follow
btw we all know your real name is vajk stop larping as a christian it's EMBARRASSINGGGG
✝️ esztergom-örökké Follow
love seeing my mutuals reblogging this /s anyway op has multiple posts on their blog supporting quartering and human sacrifice. in case you were wondering. anyway stand with István
🐴 csillagösvény Follow
1) we dont even do human sacrifices, are you fucking stupid??? show me ONE post where i talk about that. 2) are you seriously forgetting that your bestie istván LITERALLY QUARTERED HIS UNCLE?????
#sorry to put this dumbass on the dash😭 dont even engage just block them #ur not making it up the tree of life lmao #discourse
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🌅 bolygó-kárpáti Follow
friendly reminder that just because you're white passing doesn't mean you're not a real magyar!! people with mixed parents are just as valid <3
🏇 attila-népe Follow
cranky coz ur ancestors decided to mix with the europeans arent you
🧺 lemezelő Follow
isnt your girlfriend literally frankish????
🏇 attila-népe Follow
you had to have done some serious stalking to find that💀 and first of all i didn't have a choice, my parents picked the tribe, and second of all she's not my "girlfriend" i got her via ritual kidnapping (WITH consent. before anyone gets weird)
🌐 a-kiber-kovács Follow
Couldn't you have kidnapped another magyar woman? Or someone from another mongoloid tribe?
🔅 hadúrsimp Follow
ohh sure so now human pet guy is gonna chime in to advocate for the kidnapping of our women while being lowkey racist. what are you even doing on nomadblr????
🌅 bolygó-kárpáti Follow
what the fuck happened to my post
19,276 notes
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🪔 rakabonciás Follow
for the nth time, you're only a true shaman if you were born with teeth OR with extra fingers OR in the sac. the rest of you are faking & we can tell.
🦅szél-könnyű-szárnyán-szállj Follow
okay people keep spreading this but this is literally just wrong?? like congrats on the 6 fingers op im glad u and Little Golden Father have a special connection (genuinely) but like. táltos and sámán and mágus and garabonciás and javas etc are all different things with completely different requirements and life paths which you should definitely know if you're claiming to be one?? especially since your post says shaman but you're listing the criteria for a táltos, and your username looks like a play on garabonciás so. which is it🤔 maybe get your facts in order before trying to gatekeep
anyway don't listen to op!! your connection to the Upper World is yours alone and you're the best judge of what the Fathers and Mothers want your path in life to be!!
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🛐 mea-culpa Follow
It breaks my heart that the majority of my people still refuse to see the One True God and insist on sticking to their pagan spirits. I fear that when judgement day comes, we will all be wiped out thanks to their foul godless ways.
🐴 csillagösvény Follow
how tf am i godless when i literally have dozens of gods? little mothers and little fathers are in everything all around us & it must suck ass to live in a world where you're not surrounded by the small gods that inhabit everything. manifesting that the fene and the guta tag team beat your ass tonight
🔅 hadúrsimp Follow
hadúr will literally strike op down personally. he told me himself. whispered it to me sweetly even
🐴 csillagösvény Follow
while i agree with you, i feel like you might also have ulterior motives, nomadblr user hadúrsimp
#but live your truth! doubly so on the posts of these freak repressed bible lovers. meanwhile on the #COOL side of magyarhood we walk around butt ass naked!!! op have fun never experiencing joy ever again tho #discourse
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👑 sanctus-stephanus Follow
posting from an alt so i don't get cancelled but lowkey i'm starting to think koppány was right.... maybe this christianity thing isn't gonna work out after all
👑 sanctus-stephanus Follow
WRONG BLOG
👑 sanctus-stephanus Follow
THIS WAS A JOKE. IGNORE THIS
🪺 magánügyek Follow
ISTVÁN????????????? 💀
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dramaticals · 9 months
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did you hear what i said?
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pairing: theodore nott x gryffindor reader
summary: after a year of secretly dating, theo breaks things off when classes start up again. it's now christmas eve and he's back with a figurative box of regret / requested by anonymous.
author's note: angst! there will be a part two with fluff, but i just needed to get this out since i've been writing this for too long. (please) feel free to leave angsty requests in my inbox because this is the genre that gets my gears going! but i make no promises on resolutions and happy endings ♡
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"You look happier."
Theodore stands in front of the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall, his hands shoved into his pockets. His presence garners murmurs all around, even though the Great Hall was emptier than usual for the holidays. The sight of him makes your breath catch. It's been three months since you last spoke to him, but the memory of that night resurfaces, ripping open the wound on your healing heart.
It was back in September.
Theo had passed you a note in Potions, asking you to meet him in the Astronomy Tower after dark. It wasn't a peculiar ask, so you didn't think much of it at the time. The Astronomy Tower had become your and Theo's spot. A quiet place for the two of you to just exist—no interruptions and no expectations from the outside world. Your house rivalry was nothing in that tower. It was just you and Theo.
The two of you would spend hours hiding there, often cuddled on top of a lush blanket you had hidden nearby. You'd talk about anything and everything with him, from learning about each other's likes and dislikes to venting about classes and classmates. On nights where the two of you favoured serenity, it was never unpleasant. You'd embrace the quiet, exchanging sweet kisses all the while enjoying the comfort and protection of his arms.
That night in September was different, though. You sensed it the minute you ascended the steps to see Theo standing stiffly by the railing, his gaze concentrating on a bird on the horizon.
Theo didn't even turn to face you—acknowledge you—before he was muttering the words that shattered your heart into pieces.
"I'm over this." Theo said, his tone void of any emotion. His hand clutched onto the railing so tightly that his knuckles were pale.
Stunned silence fell over you. You just looked at him with a puzzled expression.
"Did you hear what I said?" Theo turned to you then, and you could see the pained expression on his features. But then something shifted, and his expression turned cold. "I'm breaking up with you."
His words on their own were harsh, but the inflection on each syllable felt like he was personally twisting a serrated knife into your heart.
"I don't understand." You said. "Why? What did I—"
"I feel like you're getting attached, and I think we've run our course." Theo interrupted. His eyes, the ones you became so accustomed to, were dark and flooded with an expression even you weren't familiar with. Theo scoffed. "You didn't actually think we'd last, did you?"
Maybe it was the naive and hopeless romantic in you, but you truly believed you would. House rivalries, judgemental friends, and family expectations were merely obstacles the two of you would deal with together. You just felt so strongly about him, and you were certain he felt the same about you.
"Did you hear what I said?" The Theodore standing in front of you jerks you back to the present.
You blink, and you nearly drop your fork.
"I heard you," you say firmly, returning your attention back to the half-eaten plate in front of you. You make yourself look busy and uncaring (as much as you could with food and a full stomach), as if Theodore's sudden presence had no effect on you.
Theodore shifts in his spot, his eyes darting to the empty seat in front of you, silently contemplating whether he should take it or cut his losses and leave. Reluctantly, he settles on the former. This makes you tense, your lips pursing as he sits. It doesn't help that you were highly attentive to the whispers; your classmates were surely speculating why Theodore Nott would be choosing the company of a muggle-born on Christmas Eve. You put down your fork, bring your gaze to his, and let out an exhausted breath.
"Nott, what do you want?"
Hearing his last name from you makes his jaw clench. It was cold and formal, stripped of any history you two shared.
"Just wanted to know if you were as happy as you looked."
"You have no right to that type of information anymore."
"Humour me."
You glare at him. Theodore looks back at you with such shy tenderness that your gaze softens slightly.
Am I happy? you think.
Some days, sure. But most days, you find yourself wandering back to that dreadful night in September. Even after all these months, you still wonder if you had just said something different or fought back instead of taking it, maybe you and Theo would still be together.
It was why Ginny, the only poor soul who was aware of your relationship with Theo, had set you up with Michael Corner, a cute Ravenclaw boy in your year. He was smart, funny, and occasionally sweet, but he wasn't Theodore Nott.
Still, you persisted. You allowed yourself to indulge in the idea of being with Michael because the brooding Slytherin boy who had your heart had made his choice. You went on a few dates with Michael; he'd walk you to class, sit with you during Quidditch matches, and sometimes—when he was feeling courageous—he'd plant a kiss on your lips in the middle of the bustling corridor.
"I am." You lie, and you bite down on the insides of your cheeks. What good would it do to admit you weren't, especially to the cause of your turmoil?
Theodore watches you, practically analyzing your features. He doesn't have to say anything for you to know he didn't believe you, and you hated that—hated him, for having been so attentive to you that your tells were obvious.
"You are?" Theodore questions.
"That's what I said, didn't I?"
"I think you and I have a habit of saying things we don't mean."
His careful words and wistful gaze make you flush with embarrassment and anger. To this day, you still weren't sure why Theo had broken things off with you, and it was something that had kept you up countless nights. Through gritted teeth and cheeks stinging with remembered hurt, you say, "What's that supposed to mean?"
"It means," Theodore starts, his eyes flickering around to ensure no one was listening in. While a few lingering glances were sent your way, everyone was spread out far enough that it'd be hard to eavesdrop. He drops his voice anyway. "I shouldn't have said what I did that night. I didn't mean it. I don't mean it."
The anger bubbling in the pit of your stomach erupts, your eyes blazing. "Is this some sick game to you? It's been three months, Theodore. I spent three months crying over you and wondering what the hell I did to you to be so bloody cruel. And now when I'm finally ready to move on from you, you come back to tell me you... you didn't mean it?" The last words leave a dirty, salty taste in your mouth.
"No, no," Theodore shakes his head, swallowing thickly as you recounted the months of hell. He hadn't been doing any better either, but Theo was generally good at hiding his afflictions. Numbing the pain with weed and alcohol were among his favourite remedies. "It's not a game. It was never a game. You should know me well enough to know that I would never mean any of the things I said."
"Know you?" You almost laugh. You had replayed the breakup and the weeks leading up to it in your mind countless times, trying to make sense of the bullshit non-reason he had given when he broke up with you but nothing made sense. The whole thing made you spiral, questioning everything that had ever happened between you two. "I'm actually convinced I never really knew you, because the guy I knew would never have done that to me."
Having had enough of the conversation, you get up, leaving your half-eaten plate and a pained Theodore at the Gryffindor table. You're almost past the door of the Great Hall when Theo, as a last-ditch effort, grabs a hold of your wrist, hauling you to a stop. You let out a small huff and turn to face him.
"Meet me in the Astronomy Tower after dark." Theodore says softly, almost pleadingly. He makes a conscious effort to ignore all the prying eyes that turned.
"Because that worked out so well for me last time."
"Just—please. If you want to continue never speaking to each other again after that, then fine. But at least let me explain."
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You had every intention of ignoring Theodore’s request. He didn’t deserve a chance to explain—the statute of limitations for explaining ended months ago. And yet, you found yourself sneaking out of the Gryffindor common room and up to the Astronomy Tower, inebriated by the countless what-ifs and string of memories: Theo sneaking a kiss on your lips as everyone turned to view whatever Hagrid had for Care of Magical Creatures, Theo resting his hand on your thigh during potions, Theo winking at you as you watched him play Quidditch.
“You’re here.” Theodore says, just as you reach the top of the staircase. He was sitting by the railing.
“I am,” you say as you walk toward him reluctantly. You settle next to him.
Theodore looks at you, and it looks like he’s about to say something, but then he shuts his eyes, shakes his head, and sighs.
You’ve never seen him at a loss for words. He was intentionally silent, sure, but his quick wit never failed him.
“I’ve regretted that night every day, you know.” He speaks up, his solemn eyes trained on yours. “I replay it over and over.”
Theodore’s gaze is unrelenting, brimming with seriousness and a vulnerability that you haven’t seen before. You tear your gaze away from his because the more he talks and looks at you like this, the more you find it hard to breathe.
“Then why do it? Why say those things?” You manage to ask.
Theodore’s jaw clenches. “Lesser of two evils.”
When you look at him with a confused expression, he continues, “It was better to lose you on those terms than to lose you completely.”
Silence falls on both of you, filling the space like a thick fog.
“I lost my mom when I was seven.” Theodore explains, his eyes darkening. “A freak accident.”
Out of the year you and Theo dated in secret, he had rarely mentioned his mom. And if he did, it was small tidbits—precious memories. Regardless of how small and insignificant the memory would seem to others, you gathered how important Theo’s mom was to him. Underneath Theo’s stoic expressions and calculating demeanour was a softness to Theo that could only be accredited to his mom.
“She got caught in the crossfire between some death eaters.” Theodore says, his expression pained. He drops his gaze now, but you keep your eyes on him. There’s a mixture of grief and anger that flashes across his features, and it takes everything in you to hold yourself back from reaching for him. To comfort him.
“It took me years to get over it. I don’t even think I am yet—I’m still angry at my father for allowing this shit into our lives and for continuing to do it.” Theodore says, letting out an exasperated breath. You knew what everyone else knew about Theo’s father—he was a blood purist, rumoured to be loyal to you-know-who. He’d hate you the moment he’d find out you were muggle-born.
Theo meets your gaze now, and it’s your turn to feel winded. It was like you were looking at your Theo again. The sweet, sarcastic, pain-in-your-ass-but-in-a-good-way Theo. “I lost my mom, who meant the world to me, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to handle it if I lost you too. So I pushed you away. I figured it was best to cut our losses before I pulled you into something you had no reason being in. Before I lost you permanently.”
“What’s changed?” You ask, shaking your head. His words were hard to process, but the pieces of the last few months were beginning to click into place. “I’m still me, and last I heard, your dad was still your dad.”
“I realized that, in a way, I was kind of like my dad.”
“What?”
“I mean,” Theo says. “My dad never gave any of us a choice. Not me, and not my mom. We always had to go along with him and deal with the consequences of his actions. I took a choice away from you, and you just had to deal with it. I don’t want to do that anymore. I still think I did it for the right reasons, but I regret it. I want to be with you. I should have told you what I was worried about—told you about the risks of being with me, so we could make a decision together.”
Together.
That’s all you wanted. You were more than willing to have dealt with any obstacle that was thrown your way, so long as you had Theo by your side.
But that was three months ago. And while his words brought goosebumps, butterflies, and heart palpitations, they also brought a slew of conflicting feelings. You understood why he broke things off now, and although his reasoning was well-intended, it didn’t excuse the fact that you had spent the last three months in a state of despair and heartbreak. You didn’t eat as much, your grades dropped, and you couldn’t even look at him until recently in fear of tears and the overwhelming rush of memories.
“So?”
“Theo,” you say softly. Your eyes search his face.
There’s a ghost of a smile on his lips at the sound of his name. Not Theodore, not Nott. Theo.
“I don’t know what you want me to say.”
He exhales sharply at your response, and his expression shifts as he turns to face the horizon. He wanted you to say it was worth the risk and that you wanted to be with him as much as he did. He wanted you to forgive him for what he did to you. “It’s fine.”
“No—I just... I need to think.” You say quickly. Your heart was screaming for him, but your brain was weary. And if the past three months taught you anything, it was that you needed to act with your brain and not your heart. “I just need time. This was a lot to process.”
“Right, of course.” Theo says with a curt nod. He turns to you again, offering a weak smile. It was his heart’s turn to break. “Well, thanks for coming tonight and letting me explain. I guess, just let me know.”
You watch him stand, brush the dirt off his robes, and turn away. Just as he reaches the staircase back down, he looks back at you. Your eyes catch his gorgeous arctic eyes, your cheeks burning and your heart racing.
"Merry Christmas, by the way." Theo says before he descends down the stairs.
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awearywritersworld · 10 months
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there can be no covenants between men and lions
ryomen sukuna x reader summary: sukuna would rather contemplate your murder than come to terms with his feelings for you, but you call him out on his bullshit. w/c: 3k tags/warnings: enemies to lovers. angst to fluff. aged up!yuuji. heavy kissing. features yuuji x reader and he is, of course, best boy. cursing. sukuna decides he wants to kill you (so obviously there are mentions of murder and such) but cant even stand the sight of you upset, what a goof. i'd once again like to think sukuna's not too ooc in this but im still more than likely delusional. not canon compliant. fem!reader. no use of y/n. no manga spoilers. a/n: i was so touched by all of the love that part one received, i wanted to try my hand at part two. i hope i've done it justice! just as part one references homer's the odyssey, this references homer's the illiad because sukuna is very hot and well read. achilles, the protagonist of the novel, is discussed. i'm definitely open to writing a part three, because this one is much heavier on the angst and i miss soft sukuna from part one. series masterlist // masterlist
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you and yuuji rarely argue, but when you do, it's often over his aversion toward seriousness, even when a situation calls for it. though you really should have kept your mouth shut, because in this moment, you'd give anything to see his typical carefree expression.
his eyes are regarding you intently, taking in your flustered appearance with knitted brows.
"yuuji..." you trail off, wracking your brain for an explanation of your current predicament.
despite the fact he regained control of his body only moments ago, one of his hands is curled around the back of your neck, while the other is resting on your hip.
"baby, what happened?" he presses, the tone of his voice entirely unreadable.
"s-sukuna," is all you can manage to choke out.
his eyes darken immediately, his jaw tensing in a way that intimidates you. "he hurt you."
you really can't tell if it's a question or a statement, and your response comes a little too quickly. "no! that's not... no."
the next few seconds tick by in a slow sort of agony, heat creeping up your cheeks.
he notices for the first time that his head is eerily quiet. no snide remarks, no scathing commentary. just his own thoughts as he pieces together the situation.
his gaze drops to the angry, red marks littering your neck and you watch in helpless horror as understanding passes his features.
"oh."
the word hangs in the air as you await his reaction, fully anticipating disgust and betrayal. you're positive it's only a matter of time before he throws you out of the apartment and tells you to never come back.
what you don't expect, however, is the way his shoulders relax as the tension leaves his face.
he straightens himself, arms falling to his sides, but he doesn't put any distance between your bodies.
"how long have you...?" he's not quite sure how to phrase the question.
"a few months. this was the first time anything... um... happened. we usually just talk."
he tilts his head to the side, so you clarify. "after you've fallen asleep."
mulling over the information, he hums in response, looking thoughtful for a few more seconds. then, his usual demeanor is back and he grabs your hand. "wanna get dinner? i'm starving!"
he tugs you a few feet toward the door before you come to your senses. "woah, woah. wait a second, yu."
when he looks back at you expectantly, you find that his face holds not one hint of bitterness or judgement. "aren't you angry?"
you're amazed to find that he's the one looking sheepish.
"how could i be? it's not exactly easy to be with me when i have a thousand year old curse rattling around in my body, but you stay anyway," he expresses, making your heart soften. "i just want you to be safe, so i'll take whatever relationship the two of have now over him being a threat to you."
as your hands reach up to cradle his face and your eyes sparkle with adoration, you briefly wonder how you ever found such a sweet man. he places a quick kiss to your lips, the smile on his face easy going as ever. "sooooo, i'm thinking takoyaki or maybe udon—"
"we can get whatever you want," you glance at the spatters of blood across his chest left there from the mission, no doubt from sukuna's careless slaughter. "as long as you go wash up first."
"right!" he agrees quickly, bounding off to the bathroom.
you stand alone in the middle of your living room, left with the ghost of both yuuji and sukuna's lips against yours and a sense of bewildered excitement.
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back in his prison, however, sukuna is furious with himself. he should have let you die that day he kept you from being run over. better yet, he should have killed you with his own hands before the brat won back control of his body.
he is a terrible being that delights in carnage, a fact that's well known even centuries later. so why, when he could have done anything in the world, did he go to you? you even asked that same question before you—
he rejects the memory of you pressing your lips to his disdainfully.
your foolishness and your naivete are revolting. your softness and your pliancy are nauseating.
he shouldn't have been anywhere near you, if not to rip your obnoxious heart from your chest like he'd always planned. it was a situation he'd dreamt about and now it's slipped through his fingers, even though those same fingers had graced your fragile little neck.
you were nothing more than a clueless mouse in the jaws of a snake, and though the pains of hunger have been tearing at its stomach for years now, the serpent let itself starve.
sukuna retreats to his domain, fingers prodding at his temples irritably. he allows himself to wallow for a few hours, shutting out both you and the brat.
then, steeling his resolve, he begins to watch and wait like the predator he knows himself to be.
lulled into a false sense of security regarding your safety, it's clear that yuuji has let his guard down. just barely so, but enough that sukuna can see a few weaknesses in his chains. ironic seeing that, now more than ever, the king of curses wants you dead.
it goes without saying that he promptly ceases his nightly interactions with you. it's beneath him, wasting his time with a human. he knows that now.
but while he may not speak to you, he cannot refrain from stealing glances as the days stretch on. you're usually reading, completely oblivious to his watchful eye. he convinces himself it's simply to keep tabs on you, as he's deemed you his foremost enemy.
he's not sure how much time has passed when you begin calling out for him in hushed whispers after yuuji falls asleep, the hurt and confusion in your voice plain to him. it's irksome, and evidently, you're incapable of taking a hint.
his silence becomes more painful with each turn of the moon. you're a bit mortified to find that you genuinely miss him, so you just want answers. did he finally realize that you're nothing special, not worth bothering with?
eventually, growing restless, you all but beg him. "sukuna, please. talk to me. what happened? what'd i do wrong?" his chest tightens with what he believes is vexation. "you can't just make me like you and then disappear. you can't kiss me like that and then—"
"you insolent, maddening little creature!" his eye flies open just in time to see you gasp, your body jerking away from him. "shut up already! can't you see i want nothing to do with you? don't you tire of being pathetic?"
you don't dignify him with a response, swallowing thickly and turning away from him.
finally, he thinks, some fucking quiet. though if he's gotten what he wanted, why does his chest still ache?
he stares at the back of your form until the sun rises.
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sukuna is no simpleton. he can be patient when he is sure of a reward, but he's thrilled that the perfect opportunity arises just two days after your encounter.
yuuji is exhausted. gojo kept him out all last night, despite the grueling mission he had today, and when he all but stumbles through your apartment door, the moon is already high in the sky.
you never mention the change in your relationship with sukuna to yuuji. even though he was so understanding, you still feel a touch awkward discussing it further. and maybe in the back of your mind, you're holding out hope that it might go back to the way it was.
sukuna watches through yuuji's eyes when you greet him, your expression half concern and half 'i told you so'. nights out with gojo usually lead to this very situation.
he showers while you finish cooking dinner and once you both eat, he helps you clean up despite his exhaustion. after whispering his thanks and pressing a kiss to your temple, he retires to bed.
you promise you'll join him soon, but sukuna knows it probably isn't true. following his outburst, you've taken to staying in the living room until you're ready to sleep.
yuuji's out before his head hits the pillow and nearly two hours later, you're still not in bed. sukuna's eager, but waits until he's sure the brat's deep in his slumber before he tries to take over. it's relatively easy, and he pushes down yuuji's unconscious mind as far as he can before rising to his feet.
this is finally it. he stretches his limbs lazily, a dangerous smirk settling on his lips. the floor creaks with each step he takes, but he pays no mind to stealth. you're no match for him.
tonight, you'll be his first victim of many and the thought of making up for his past misjudgement has him giddy with excitement.
but the sight that greets him upon exiting the bedroom— you curled into yourself on the couch, your shoulders shaking with quiet sobs— it stops him in his tracks.
he wants to move, more than anything, so what the fuck is wrong with him? is the brat taking over already?
and why is that uncomfortable sensation making it's home in the center of his chest once more?
when you notice his presence, your face shifts to him and reveals your wide, teary eyes. it's clear you're surprised by his appearance, but you quickly bury your face in your knees.
you just want him to leave you alone. you hate him for what he said, for what he did. he forced his way into your life, made you care about him, and then he just vanished. he's cruel and you feel like an idiot because you should have known that from the beginning. or maybe you did and he just made you forget.
"go away. i.. i don't want to see you."
he's disbelieving, for a brief moment, that here you are giving him orders while he stands in the doorway with the intention of taking your life.
he moves toward you, invading your space in a way that is meant to be intimidating, but when you look up at him, every emotion ranging from sadness to rejection to indignation is etched into your features. though the terror he hoped to inspire is noticeably absent.
"i said go away!" you swiftly stand up, your hands meeting squarely with his chest as you push him with every ounce of power you have.
you may as well have shoved a brick wall, as he doesn't move even a fraction of an inch. he seizes one of your wrists anyway.
"what is it you think you're doing, exactly?" he spits.
"let go of me!" you beat against his chest with the hand he left free until his fingers wrap around that wrist too.
"enough."
he's certain there isn't a being that has attacked him (if he can even call that an attack) and lived to speak of it, not once in an entire millennia.
so just end the insolent brat and be done with it, he urges himself.
but he can't and he doesn't understand why, so he just stares down at you.
"what the fuck do you want?" you mean for it to come out forcefully and full of spite, but your voice cracks before you can finish.
an excellent question, indeed. what does he want?
he doesn't answer you and it's so goddamn frustrating that you begin to cry again, rambling to fill the discomforting silence. "you've already told me i'm pitiful and annoying. it's clear you think my company is insufferable, that i'm undesirable—"
that ache in his chest is unbearable now. it claws at his ribcage and shreds the flesh of his heart. it makes his stomach twist uncomfortably and rings shrilly in his ears. he can't even hear you anymore, but he can still see the tears sliding down your cheeks and the way you gasp between words.
the truth of the matter crashes down on him and the devastating weight of it is so crushing it squeezes the air from his lungs.
that feeling in his chest isn't annoyance or repugnance. its anguish— the kind that rattles his bones and leaves him sick with regret.
it's because you're in pain, and worse yet, he is the cause of it.
sukuna pushes you back against the wall before you can comprehend what's happening. his hands find either side of your face and you're alarmed to find that he looks... frightened.
"what are you doing to me?" he pleads for an explanation, because he sure as hell doesn't have one.
how can one little human hold such power over him? it's unnatural. it defies all logic and reason.
you stare at him, open mouthed. his face is so close that his breath fans across your skin and it makes you feel dizzy.
"what are you talking about?" you finally ask.
"you should be dead right now," he frets, despair seeping into every word. "it should be easy."
it dawns on you that you should probably feel afraid, but you just don't. his touch is firm, but careful. and there's no malice to be found behind his eyes. "you're not making any sense."
he thinks back on the time you've spent together, trying to figure out how the hell he ended up here— him at your mercy, rather than you at his. he remembers the first time he made you laugh and considers that it may have been the beginning of his unraveling. for the following two weeks, you both discussed homer at length as you made your way through his poetry.
"there can be no covenants between men and lions. wolves and lambs can never be of one mind, but hate each other through and through." you blink at him, recognizing at once that he's quoting the illiad. his voice is low and unsteady in a way that suggests desperation. it makes you shiver. "therefore there can be no understanding between you and me, nor may there be any covenants between us, till one or other shall fall."
your eyes narrow as you begin to understand his his internal struggle, though you're unsure if he's attempting to reason with you or with himself.
"you quote achilles, and rightfully so i suppose, given your common qualities— exasperating pride and a penchant for meaningless violence." he looks relieved, like your seeming agreement eases his mind. it's short lived. "but you forget his passion."
his gaze shifts away from you, his hands withdrawing from your face.
"his passion?" he repeats as if it's the most incredulous thing he's ever heard.
"by the end of the story, is he not acquainted with regret, sympathy, and respect? he doesn't remain blind to the error of his ways forever."
"only a foolish human could make such fanciful deductions," he chides through gritted teeth, still refusing to meet your eye.
you actually laugh at him. "perhaps you shouldn't call upon achilles to make your point after all. at least he grows out of his utterly childish view of the world."
"how dare you?" he demands, his features growing wild as one hand finds your throat (his touch not nearly harsh enough to cause you any discomfort), the other colliding with the wall beside your head. his display doesn't fool you though. "you witless, wretched brat! you're nothing more than a blip in a universe you cannot even begin to understand. you sicken me."
you throw achilles' words in his face just as easily as he did to you. "hateful to me as the gates of hades is that man who hides one thing in his heart and speaks another."
his gaze hardens, and for a split second, you think you may have been mistaken in your fearlessness, but then his fingers thread themselves through your hair and he pulls your lips to his.
it's rough and commanding, and he tells himself it's only to get you to shut up. to wipe that expression of smug pity from your face.
it's not because, despite the fact you know how awful he is, you're convinced there's something salvageable in him too. nor is it because you tyrannize his every passing thought. and it's certainly not because the feeling of you pressed against him brings him more satisfaction than ripping the hearts from the chests of a hundred men.
ultimately, his denial is overshadowed by his desire. your touch is nothing short of needy as you tug at his shirt, an attempt to bring him even closer, and god does he hope that means you feel just as desperate as he does. he deserves at least a little consolation.
as his hands roam every valley and curve of your body, he deems it unfair that a being whose very existence spells hell on earth should be so taken with such a devastatingly divine creature.
"i've wanted you so terribly," he mumbles against your mouth before he can stop himself.
"then fuck you for making us both wait," you breath out.
his fingers dig into the flesh of your hips in response and his lips shift to your neck. "watch that pretty little mouth of yours, brat."
he nips at the spot just below your ear hard enough that it makes you gasp, doubtless a punishment for your impudence. you recover quickly though, wasting no time with your flippant reply. "or what? you'll go back to plotting my murder?"
he pulls away from you abruptly, sighing deeply and pinching the bridge of his nose. "you truly have zero sense of self preservation, don't you?"
"guess so," you shrug, smiling at him bashfully. "can we watch a movie? i'll even let you pick."
you ask as if it's the most normal request in the world. as if he isn't a thousand year old curse that would be off turning the city to ash were he not here with you instead.
he rolls his eyes, scoffing at the ridiculousness of it all. "fine."
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captainjamster · 3 months
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breeding/pregnancy kink, incest, thoughts of kidnapping, daddy kink, controlling behaviour // reader is written with female anatomy and wears makeup but isn't gendered
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Price knows that his relationship with you is complicated, to say the least.
There's no room for acceptance of your relationship - no one understands the festering need clawing underneath his skin, the way his hands itch for you. Any normal person would be horrified by the way he feels about you, the things he does to you - but years of service have shown John just how far from normal he is.
Sometimes he longs to show you off - present you to the world, take you out on dinners and dates, bring you to functions without questions about why you hold him so close, or why his arm always wraps dangerously low around your waist. It gets considerably worse when he entertains that barely dorment desire to fight his thick cock between your thighs and breed you again and again. The miracle of contraceptives have provided him with an outlet; he can fuck you raw and stick to secretly hope it somehow takes, despite the odds. But it only tampers the wishful thinking that has him pinching your nipples and wishing they'd leak, running his hands over the fat of your stomach, longing to feel that little bump of seed grow and grow.
He knows there's one solution to all this - to escaping the judgement of others keeping him from consuming you whole. Not a day passes where he doesn't consider taking you off-grid entirely - he knows Nik has a house somewhere in the mountains he could inhabit. Just you and him, a small cabin and some livestock.
But it's not realistic (-yet-). He couldn't leave you all alone, no help or company around, during the long periods of his deployment. So he sticks for ravishing you in private, desperately trying to convey the need he feels with each thrust, like he could imprint the depths of his depraved love if his fingers grip your hips just a bit tighter. He never leaves you unsatisfied, and it's not over until you're blurry-eyed with exhaustion, dripping his cum onto the sheets already damp with your slick, mumbling nothing but love and appreciation for your Daddy as he scoops you up against his chest.
There are other small pleasures, too. Hearing you splutter on video calls when your friends make teasing quips about the marks you can't even begin to cover with clothes or makeup, avoiding questions and alluding to some vague hookup. Watching you get ready to go out for a night, just to force you down to your knees and wrap those pretty coloured lips around his cock. You complain every time he tuts at the short cut of your outfits (even when they're appropriate, but he'll never admit that), chastising you for lacking modesty, but your pussy is always wet when he pushes you back to the bedroom for a lesson.
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Eventually, John will work something out. A man like him always does. But for now, he relishes the shadows that he keeps you in - his hidden prize, kept safely up on the shelf. But a prize is made to be appreciated, no? Good thing John can think of a few boys with an eye for a pretty toy.
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idledearest · 2 months
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Hatchetverse - OFFICE LORDS & QUEEN (Design Concept)
BONUS: Tinky and Blinky without glasses
WIGGLY
- Looks like Paul but green and with unkempt hair. Also if Paul was even more snarky & sarcastic, slightly more intimidating, and an even bigger asshole. Just less passive in general. He can hide it well though, after all he's sly and calculated. He's got high leading office businessman charisma, the type to get all the good deals. Comes off as manipulative and condescending.
POKEY
- The co-worker who listens to music on max and ignores everyone on purpose. Worst part is, people can hear whatever it is he's listening to. Impatient, standoffish, easily annoyed and highly dramatic. He looks like Bill if he had Solomon's personality and demeanor. The most unapproachable of the bunch. Embodiment of eye-rolls and side-eyes. Definitely the type to look at someone with full disgust and judgement and will make a show of it.
BLINKY
- He's definitely the office gossip. The kind who always looks over people's shoulder and take a peak at people's computers or phones. Also the one who stalks people's social media and uses their info as blackmail. Definitely an eavesdropper and the one standing around and watching. May also have zero filter in what he says, sometimes making people uncomfortable; To his enjoyment.
TINKY
- This guy definitely gives off "Pepe Silvia" energy. Has watches on both wrists, maybe even pocket watches hidden in his pockets. Very messy and disheveled in terms of appearance. He's a very skilled (and demonically fast) accountant though. If "running on nothing but 5 shots of espresso" is an office worker. Definitely the flirt or a charmer of the office; Thrives off of compliments and boasts about and uses it against people.
NIBBLY
- The guy who ALWAYS steals people's lunches and will not feel guilty nor shame for it. Always has a bag of pastries and drinks from any cafe. Will bite and snarl if asked to share. The type who always forgets to turn in work yet doesn't get fired (of course his brothers are biased for each other). His things are everywhere and take up space.
WEBBY
- The one everyone (unfairly) hates. "We used to work with her. Then we fired her." statements from co-workers (brothers). Gives off "mom of the office" energy. Very sweet and patient. And a pushover; The type to stay after hours to clean after everyone (or do the work everyone dumped on her). Looks out for the office type of deal.
🩵💜💛🩷💚🤍
so sorry about this long ass post i just wanted to get all the details i had while designing their outfits HAHAHA this genuinely took way longer than it should because i kept passing out so much 😭
just so everyone knows, i designed these outfits as a concept to what they could potentially wear if they were summoned in an office like ccrp AND what their actors and actresses could wear on stage. so it's like a stageplay costume design concept kind of thing too. so at least all of them ,excluding webby, has the “fuzz” texture on their outfits. reasoning as to why webby doesnt have fuzz is because she’s most likely the only one to fully present as the most human out of all of them to be more approachable and welcoming; not garish and uncanny like her brothers.
also yes, i finally found out curt had bright yellow eyeshadow as tinky so i added it. i gave tinks a stubble too cuz idk i want a 9-5 job reflecting on his face HAHAHA.
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ask-spiderpool · 4 months
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Hey mod, are you okay? It’s been a while since you posted (no judgement!) and I just wanted to see if something was wrong. Love you and I hope you stay strong🫶🏼
Bless you anon! I appreciate you checking in! I don't post a lot of personal updates here, but I have been going through the wringer lately... hough.
Lately I've been battling with anxiety, you know, same as everyone. It's kind of made things that I used to enjoy kind of stressful for me. Everything becomes stressful for me. Even not having things to stress about makes me stressed. I'm at my most Peter Parkeriest, in the worst sort of a way.
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I thought it was a brain thing – that it was all in my head. I have a new, stressful job, and a stressful living situation, and some family issues I'm dealing with. It'll pass. So I kind of tried to power through, until my body shut down on me last year. And as it turns out, when I got checked out by the doc, it's not just a brain thing. I have a tumor (her name is Lamar, and she's benign, buuut...) she's producing 5x the normal amount of stress hormone in my body. The doctors think it's insane. I think it's hilarious. I feel like it's some kind of joke.
I've been battling this ridiculous chronic stress for years, thinking it was all in my head, but actually, biologically, I'm an overflowing reservoir of stress, and it's something that can be measured in my bloodstream. And it's been going on for years!
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So, lately I've been devoting a lot of time to forcing myself to relax. Doctors orders. I can't get stressed about things. Every day I have to effectively diffuse a bomb. And the bomb is me. I'm so pumped up with involuntary stress, and I have to devote my time to keeping it at a manageable level. And so there are a lot of backflips I have to do to keep myself human right now, and not turn into a bomb.
See... posting to the blog doesn't exactly calm me down. It makes me anxious, most of the time. So I've been telling myself it's okay. Only post when you feel good. You have enough things to worry about, and the blog can't be one another thing to worry about. It can only be for fun. If it doesn't feel like fun, don't do it.
I need to do a million little calming activities to function. The blog used to calm me. But it doesn't, anymore. I still love it, and I still have so many scripts I'm excited to do, but... I just have to be patient with myself, right now. I can't bug my head over something that can wait. It can wait. Right now isn't the time. My health is the most important thing. I can't get that back, if I lose it.
Right now I'm about keeping my head above water. Keeping calm. Doing meditative things, that aren't necessarily productive... (trust me, I am SO upset about not being productive. I miss it a lot) but they force me to take it slow and force me to not worry. I'm learning the banjo (she calms me), and I spend a lot more time in nature, having staring contests with ducks and pigeons, and befriending beetles and bugs.
I'm a very positive person, and I know I'll make it through, and I love myself for all the effort I'm making to keep myself from breaking. Because I know if I didn't force myself to calm down, I could snap like an elastic band. I – I don't want to break, like I did last year. I need to be good to myself. And relaxing is an effort. It takes a lot for me. And certain calming routines work for a little while, and then stop working, and I need to make the effort all over again to find something new. It's kind of insane how much time I need to calm back down again. I remember, once upon a time, it being baseline.
Luckily there's a surgical solution, so hopefully I'll be normal again soon, and there won't be any more bees buzzing in my brain!
I hope you'll all be patient with me! And hopefully I'll make it out alive and stronger than ever, soon.
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enwoso · 2 months
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GIRLS — alessia russo
a little something mostly from alessia point of view, just to change it up a little🙃
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masterlist
alessia had always felt different about you since the moment she met you. not in a bad way. actually the total opposite. however, she didn't exactly know how to express it but you were different.
the blonde saw you in a different light because to her you were the prettiest girl she had ever seen. but the blonde kept these thoughts and feelings hidden in the back of her mind cause after all she would forget about them, wouldn't she?
to her you were just a close friend, who alessia thought was pretty. alessia's would look for you first in any room her face lighting up when she spotted you. when it was just the two of you, she could listen to you talk for hours and never get bored of your voice. everytime you hugged her, alessia would be hoping it would last just that little longer as she didn't want to let you go.
but you were just her best friend and that was it.
after all she could say any of her friends were pretty, couldn't she, it didn't mean she loved them in that way.
alessia had thought about maybe talking to someone about these feelings she was having towards her friend, but she was afraid. afraid of what they would say. what they would think. afraid of judgement.
each time she tried she would back down and pretend she had forgotten what she was going to ask.
"mum, can i ask you something?"
"of course sweetheart!"
a moment of silence would pass, before the blonde would begin to stutter and tumble over her words before saying her signature line she'd said with everyone who she's tried to have this conversation with, "um, oh it doesn't matter- it's nothing"
except it wasn't just nothing.
instead alessia did what she thought was best but ultimately was the only thing she knew how to do, push them away. putting her guard up, she couldn't let people know.
all of her teammates, especially you noticed the change in the blonde's behaviour but each time you asked you were met with the same small nod and quick smile before alessia would run off in the opposite direction.
"lessi are you sure your okay?" you asked the blonde once again, having had enough of the stand off behaviour you'd been experiencing the past few weeks. her shoulders were tense as if they were carrying a lot of baggage with them but you couldn't seem to figure out what.
you thought maybe it was you that was the problem, and while you sort of were, you thought maybe you'd forgotten something. her birthday? no it was in february and it was may.
were you supposed to meet her for coffee? no cause you'd messaged her and she hadn't replied so you took that as a no.
had you said something that had offended her? not that either cause apart from the fact you could barely get a squeak out the blonde the last thing you had told her was that she looked gorgeous in her dress she was wearing for a family event several weeks ago.
so it definitely wasn't anything that you had done directly to her.
worry had been racking your brain for weeks, a little sad your best friend was acting the way she was towards you.
"y/n! i've told you, i'm fine! just leave me alone!" alessia snapped, you takjng a step back from the blonde as she finished stuffing her things into her pink gym bag. storming out the changing room as your stood with hurt filling each inch of your body.
"woah, what's wrong with less?" leah came round the corner watching the last part as alessia stormed out the room. you shrugged as you sat down on the bench in front of your locker.
"i don't think i've ever seen her snap like that. what happened?" leah asked as she took a seat next to you, you yourself confused at what you had done or maybe said to her.
"i dunno, but she's been like that for weeks. i don't know what i've done le?" you admitted at leah hummed, she herself had noticed a change in alessia's behaviour but put it done to maybe lack of sleep or just having an off day. but then the thing is you don't have an off day for four weeks straight.
"i've noticed a change in her too but i'm sure it's nothing you've done y/n, your her best friend." leah comforted you as she gave you a side squeeze you letting out a breath you hadn't even realised you were holding in.
"doesn't feel like i'm her best friend at the minute" you sighed sadly as you fidgeting with the bracelet on your left arm. the one alessia had gave you, she had a matching one she had gotten them while she was in italy a few summers ago. claiming she saw them and they reminded her of you so she just had to get them.
"hey, it'll be okay. how about i try and have a chat with her and see if i can find out what's bothering her"
the minute alessia snapped at you she felt guilty, rushing out the room as facing your sad look was breaking her heart. slamming her car door shut as she sat with her hands in her head regretting the last ten minutes. wanting nothing more than to just tell you what was on her mind, but her head wouldn't let her.
alessia knew she'd been acting different, she knew you'd noticed as well as some of her teammates. some checking in and making sure alessia was okay, but already having her guard up that she'd built up stronger the past months. she couldn't let them in.
she'd spent months trying to figure out her feelings and while she was starting to understand them a little more as the days went on, she was still having a hard time realising what they meant.
alessia drove home, having sat in the parking lot too long. she drove in silence the only sound of the other cars passing her as her thoughts began to get louder and louder.
huffing and fiddling with her house key into the door opening it after a few minutes, throwing her bag in the doorway before kicking her shoes off before going to face plant the sofa. a loud groan coming from her but being muffled by the way she was lying.
however after what felt like seconds there was knocks echoing around the room, alessia praying that whoever it was they would go away so she didn't even make an attempt to move.
"less i know your in, your car is parked outside!"
the knocks continued as alessia made a slow attempt to move to her front door, her socked feet moving along the carpeted floor as she opened her front door.
"leah?" alessia looked confused, she couldn't remember the blonde saying she was coming over but then again anything anyone told her the past few weeks wasn't exactly going into her head. unless it was something you had told her, she remembered that. she couldn't forget that.
"hiya less, you okay?" leah asked as alessia let the blonde into her home, leah as always making herself at home as alessia hummed a response to her question, knowing if she tried to answer it would make it very clear that she wasn't as 'okay' as she had been letting on the past few months.
"mhm good" leah smiled as alessia sat next to the blonde on her couch. alessia just nodding along, not really sure of leah's intentions of being at her house. there being a slight awkward silence building.
"just we have noticed a change in you, and as captain but also a good friend of yours i just want to make sure that there's nothing happening and if there is, can we or i help?" leah cut straight to the point, as it was clear that alessia was going to tell leah up straight so she was going to have to try and squeeze it out of alessia.
"i shouldn't be feeling like this, i know i shouldn’t but their just too hard to resist." alessia whispered after there being a slight pause after what leah had said.
alessia cryptic words had leah confused, now leah was smart but riddles were definitely not her strongest attribute she had in her locker.
"who, are you talking about a boy you've met?" leah asked as that's all she could kind of pull from them words but leah's face quickly changed when she realised she must have said something wrong as alessia began to cry, her eyes all glassed over. her tears falling down her cheeks leaving their mark as they fell.
"not a boy, a girl... y/n" alessia managed to get out through her tears, it coming out as a whisper.
leah paused before speaking, not entirely sure of the full picture of what has happened. "less, i'm confused. why are you crying? did y/n do something?"
"no, no! it's not y/n, she hadn't done anything. it's me.." alessia paused as she got frustrated by the dryness in her throat as the tears fell down her face. "i'm just scared-"
"less, what are you scared off?"
alessia threw her head back in annoyance. "of everything! it's terrifying me, maybe i like girls maybe i don’t or maybe i just like the attention y/n gives me? if i like girls or even if i like girls and boys, what will everyone say? what will my family say, my friends, the fans? what if i actually don't like girls and i end up just leading me and y/n on? that's not fair to her! what if i lose people that i love all because i’m too busy chasing after a girl? and then i end up being wrong. it's just, all- just, it's just-" alessia could finish her sentence as her tears got the better of her, making her choke on her words.
"okay, ok less listen to me please, take a deep breath for a second" leah paused to make sure alessia could find a normal pattern of breathing again. alessia following leah's instructions taking a deep breath in as she shakily breathed back out.
"first thing does y/n respect you?" leah began as alessia nodded slowly "yeah, so much"
"good, and when your with her, or your talking to her do you get that funny feeling in your stomach or do you feel all giddy?"
alessia let out a small smile as she sniffed, "yeah i could listen to her talk for hours, i can't get enough of her voice"
"and when your with her do you picture what it would be like with her, or imagine what a future could be like?" leah asked finally as she watched alessia's face begin to think, as that small smile appeared again as the blonde was most definitely thinking about you before coming back to reality.
"mmhmm"
"then less, you've answered your own questions. you like her. no no wait listen to me" leah quickly rushed out as she watched as alessia's breathing began to quicken, grabbing the blondes hands to try and calm her back down again.
"you like her and so what. who cares if you like boys, girls or anyone! it's non of their business. you have to do what makes you happy, not what makes others happy. those who truly love you like your family will love you no matter who your with, whether that's with a boy or a girl. they'll just want you to be happy and that's all that matters at the end of the day. and if they can't except you for who you truly are then they clearly don't care about you as much as what you thought they did cause those who love you will want you to be happy, yeah"
alessia sniffed as she looked up at leah nodding, "yeah, i know"
"then fuck everyone else and their opinions. y/n is fit you've said it yourself and if it turns to nothing or whatever then your first experience with a girl is with a worldie, which is pretty impressive" leah smiled nudging the blondes shoulder slightly as alessia hummed agreeing a small giggle came from her.
she knew leah was write, alessia had to stop hiding and put herself first for once and stop being so afraid of everyone else cause like leah said if they truly care for alessia then they would want nothing more than for the blonde to be happy.
alessia wiped her eyes as well as her red and puffy cheeks, "she's so pretty it hurts"
"yeah she is, but less talk to her. tell her how you're feeling and if she feels the same then brilliant go for it at your pace and see where it goes. and if she doesn't then at least you tried. but don't rush it cause either you'll end up hurting her which i know you would never intentionally want to do or your going to get hurt in process." leah gives alessia some genuine advice some she wishes that someone could have given her when she was going through the same thing alessia is right now.
as the famous quote goes, slow and steady wins the race!
"your right, thank you leah." alessia says with a genuine smile for the first time since leah got to the blondes home.
"of course i am, now after my expert advice i think the least you can do is make me some food!"
"knew there would be an another reason why you would be here!" alessia said with a laugh and the shake of the head. "what do you fancy?"
"smileys and chicken nuggets please, thank you less and i'm so proud of you!" leah called out as alessia had already made her way to her fridge.
its been a few weeks since alessia had her small breakdown in front of leah, where she admitted her feelings for you. but alessia was still acting weird with you, and it hurt cause you were still left in the dark non the wiser of why alessia was acting the way she was.
leah had reassured you over and over that alessia would talk to you when you were ready but you were starting to think that, that day was never going to come and maybe you had done something to upset your best friends — especially for her to give you the cold shoulder for this long.
you been keeping yourself or more your mind busy with other things to keep your self from spirilling from all the possibility’s of what alessia may say to you, if she ever speaks to you.
alessia on the other hand had been trying to build up the courage to try and talk to you, knowing you were hurting with the way she was acting. but finally she got the courage and asked you in the changing rooms after training.
“um, y/n” alessia tapped you on the shoulder, you jumping a little as you turned a little shock appearing on your face at the fact alessia was actually talking to you.
“yes alessia?” you noticed the blonde had froze as if she was rooted to the spot while alessia was trying to stop the pang of hurt that was going through her at the sound of you calling her by her actual name and not her usual nickname you had for the blonde.
although alessia did kind of deserve her nickname privileges taken away especially after the way she had treated you in the past few weeks.
“sorry, i- um do you wanna come over to mine for dinner?” alessia winced as she spoke, her brain slightly scared of rejection.
“sure what time?” you smiled simply as the blonde blinking surprise at how fast you said yes.
“is erm seven okay?” alessia stuttered checking the time on her phone as you nodding moving back to pack up telling the blonde you would see her soon as you waved her goodbye.
now when alessia says she panicked, she had panicked. she wasn’t sure what was going through her head when she asked if you wanted to come to her for dinner as she hadn’t even been grocery shopping this week. her home was a state with dirty washing scattered around a long with bags of clothes from pr lying in her hallway.
so as soon as the blonde crossed the threshold of her home, she had went into turbo mode, cleaning every floor and surface as quickly as she could as she unpacked the groceries she had stopped on the way home to get.
beginning to prep dinner, making something she knew you loved and before alessia could even blink you were knocking on her door.
letting you in, you held up a bottle of wine you’d had lying in your cupboard. alessia nodding before asking you if you wanted a glass.
alessia scrambled to find you a glass, you opening the bottle as the small talk began but you couldn’t help but feel awkward. it had never been like this, even in the day you met it always flowed but tonight it wasn’t.
you could help but think alessia was holding something from you. dinner came and went and you were both sat on alessia couch, a film you’d picked playing but neither of you were paying the slightest attention to it.
“i’ve miss this” you blurted out as alessia turned her head to you, an eyebrow raising on her face.
“missed what?”
“us, hanging out. you hadn’t exactly been very present in the past weeks” you said quietly as a sharp breath came from alessia as she nodded slightly. she knew she hadn’t and she didn’t think this conversation would happen as quickly as what it was about to.
“i know, i’m sorry y/n i am, i’ve just had a lot going on in my head” alessia apologised as you gave the blonde a sympathetic smile. you could tell the apology was genuine.
“it’s just i’ve met this person, and i just don’t know how to tell them i like them” alessia admitted as you felt your heart stop for a second.
“what is he like?” you asked, assuming it was most likely someone she met when being out on a team might out that being the main time the blonde would fully let loose.
but alessia shook her head correcting you, “she”
“oh- sorry i didn’t mean-“
“it’s okay, you didn’t know”
“whats she like” you correctly yourself, asking the question again. alessia pausing before she answered.
“wells she the prettiest person i’ve ever met, she has the kindest heart, and her smile oh i love it” alessia had to bit the side of her cheek to stop the shit eating grin appear on her face as she talked about you much to your dis-knowledge
your heart felt heavy as you heard her talk about who you thought was someone else, wishing that could be you she was talking about, little did you know.
“she sounds lovely less, why don’t you just be honest with her.” you plastered a smile on your face, you were happy for the blonde as you wanted nothing than for your best friend to be happy.
a pop of the lips came from alessia, “she is, but i think I’ve kinda messed up a little. i haven’t been treating her like she should be treat. the first time i’ve spoken to her in a few weeks was asking her to come to mine for dinner…”
alessia trailed off, her voice was quiet as she fidgeting with her rings on her finger. waiting for your reaction to putting two and two together.
your head shooting up as her last words even though quiet you heard them and then rung around your head louder as it clicked. “i’m sure she will forgive you”
“i hope so cause i really really like her” alessia whispered as she looked up to meet your eye line a small shy smile appearing on alessia’s face, your face matching hers slightly red with shy smile.
“kiss me”
alessia felt the knot in her stomach tighten as you put those words into the open, alessia at first thought she was just hearing things.
alessia maintained eye contact for another moment before she leant closer to you, your arms remaining by your side scared that if you touch the blonde would be snatched from the moment they were currently in.
when your face was in front of alessia's she allowed for her own eyes to flick down to your eyes in front of her. her view being cut off by your eyelids covering them as you closed your eyes and leant in close. now close enough for alessia to feel your breath tickling her lips.
taking a breath, alessia closed her own eyes and allowed for your lips to meet. softly pressing against each others, you both holing your breath,
you pulled back ever so slightly, your eyes opening slightly to check alessia reaction, knowing this was all new to her. alessia's eyes remaining closed as she brought her hand up to your jaw, cupping your face with her hand and bringing you closer again so your lips could meet once again.
you followed her lead, closing your own eyes again and meeting alessia's lips with yours. the blondes bottom lip moving slowly between your top and bottom lip. alessia shifted herself slightly, not wanting to disturb the kiss as she placed a hand on your thigh, squeezing a little bit as you let out a quiet moan and used your perfectly manicured nails to run to the back of the blondes head and scratch against her scalp.
alessia felt shivers go down her back, only growing when she felt your tongue touch her bottom lip, allowing her mouth to open as their tongues met as both your breathing got heavier. neither one of you dared to move, even despite the growing ache inside both of their bodies
you eventually slowly pulled your head back, alessia's eyes fluttering open as you brought your hand from the back of her head, trailing your fingers against the soft skin of her cheeks. 
"was that.. okay?" alessia whispered, her head staying close to yours as you both rested your foreheads against each other. you out of instinct bringing your hand up to brush the baby hairs out the blonde eye line, tucking them neatly behind her ear.
"ten tens, would do again!" you mumbled, a small laugh coming from alessia. the laugh that you adored and would try and get from her as much as you could.
"oh, then that's good cause it means i can.." alessia trailed off as she leaned her head forehead a little pecking your lips with a smile, "do that!"
even though on the outside alessia looked confident, she was doing her best to push down the internal panic she was feeling. she'd never felt anything like that from a kiss before, she never had a kiss take her breath away either whilst equally making her feel like electricity was flowing throughout her entire body.
but what was scaring alessia, was this was making her feelings all the more real.
you both sat in silence, kinda not knowing what to do next. the silence was thick, enough to be cut with a knife.
“so..” you broke the silence first, alessia’s eyes gluing to yours as you spoke, a small nod coming from the alessia, she knew what you were going to say.
“can we take it slow? cause this is all-“ alessia began but before she could finish you cut her off.
“you set the pace less, i’ll be here. if i have to wait a day or a million days just know at the end of the day i’ll be here” you smiled as the blonde’s lips matched your smile as she intertwined her fingers with yours, her thumb rubbing against yours.
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bemusedlybespectacled · 3 months
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I don't understand the chevron law thing, could you explain it like I'm five? Should we be working towards fixing whatever the courts just fucked up?
So, okay, I am condensing like a semester of a class I took in 2017 into a very short explanation, but:
It would be really annoying for Congress to individually pass laws approving every new medicine or listing out every single poison you can't have in tap water, so instead there are agencies created by Congress, via a law, to handle a specific thing. The agencies are created by Congress but overseen by the executive branch (so, the president), which is why we say things like "Reagan's EPA" or "Biden's DOJ" - even though Congress creates them, the president determines how they do the thing Congress wants them to do, by passing regulations like "you can't dump cyanide in the local swimming pool" and "no, you can't dump strychnine, either."
However, sometimes people will oppose these regulations by saying that the agency is going beyond the task they were given by Congress. "The Clean Air Act only bans 'pollutants,' and nowhere in the law does it say that 'pollutants' includes arsenic! You're going beyond your mandate!" To which the experts at the EPA would be like, "We, the experts at the EPA, have decided arsenic is a pollutant." On the flip side, the EPA could be like, "We, the experts at the EPA, have decided that arsenic isn't a pollutant," and people would oppose that regulation by being like, "But the Clean Air Act bans 'pollutants,' and it's insane to say that arsenic isn't a pollutant!" So whose interpretation is correct, the government's or the challengers'?
Chevron deference basically put heavy weight onto how the agency (i.e. the government) interpreted the law, with the assumption that the agency was in the right and needing pretty strong evidence that they were interpreting it wrong (like, blatantly doing the opposite of a clear part of the law or something). If there was any ambiguity in how the law was written, you'd defer to the agency's interpretation, even if that interpretation was different depending on who was president at the time.
(Note: there are other ways of challenging regulations other than this one, like saying that they were promulgated in a way that is "arbitrary and capricious" – basically, not backed by any evidence/reasoning other than "we want it." Lots of Trump-era regulations got smacked with this one, though I think they'd be better at it if Trump gets a second term, since they've now had practice.)
Chevron deference wasn't all good – remember that the sword cuts both ways, including when dickholes are in power – but it was a very standard part of the law. Like, any opposition to a regulation would have some citation to be like "Chevron doesn't apply here" and every defense would be like "Chevron absolutely applies here" and most of the time, the agency would win. Like, it was a fundamental aspect of law since the 80s.
The Supreme Court decision basically tosses that out, and says, "In a situation where the law is ambiguous, the court decides what it means." That's not completely insane – interpreting law is a thing judges normally do – but in a situation where the interpretation may hinge on something very complicated outside of the judge's wheelhouse, you now cannot be like, "Your Honor, I promise you that the experts at NOAA know a lot about the weather and made this decision for a good reason."
The main reason it's a problem is that it allows judges to override agencies' judgements about what you should do about a thing and what things you should be working on in the first place. However, I don't think there's really a way of enshrining that into law, outside of maybe adding something to the Administrative Procedure Act, and that would require a Congress that isn't majority Republican.
I will say that kind of I expected this to happen, just because IIRC Gorsuch in particular hates Chevron deference. IMO it's a classic case of "rules for me but not for thee" – Scalia and other conservatives used to rely on Chevron because they wanted their presidents to hold a ton of unchecked power (except for the EPA), but now that we've had Obama and Biden, now conservatives don't like Chevron because it gives the presidents they don't like unchecked power.
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chocolatepot · 4 months
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Hi! Can you elaborate on "Fuck GRRM's committment to 'historical realism' without knowing anything about medieval social history"? I would love to know about what GRRM gets wrong about medieval gender roles, specifically.
So Cersei learns at an early age that she has no agency, her only value is producing heirs and is barred from traditional routes of power so she has to use underhanded methods such as influencing men with sex or using underhanded magical means. I would love an explanation on why this doesn't reflect medieval queen consorts and noble women irl.
Sure! The basic summary is: GRRM "knows" the things that everyone "knows" about the middle ages, which are broad stereotypes often reflective of a) primary sources that deserve a critical reading rather than being taken at face value and b) the judgements of later periods making themselves look better at the medieval period's expense.
As Shiloh Carroll argues, building on the work of Helen Young, “readers are caught in a ‘feedback loop’ in which Martin’s work helps to create a neomedieval idea of the Middle Ages, which then becomes their idea of what the Middle Ages ‘really’ looked like, which is then used to defend Martin’s work as ‘realistic’ because it matches their idea of the real Middle Ages.”
Since you're mainly interested in Cersei here, I'd strongly recommend a book: Queenship and the Women of Westeros: Female Agency and Advice in Game of Thrones and A Song of Ice and Fire, edited by Zita Eva Rohr and Lisa Benz. It's an excellent read and speaks to exactly what you're asking about. The tone of the book is very positive and non-judgemental when it comes to GRRM and his depictions of women on the whole, but I think some of this is rhetorical positioning to not seem like "mean angry academics jumping on fiction for not being accurate," as the actual content turns the reader to thinking about how much agency and power medieval queens had in different European societies and how little of that worked its way into GRRM's worldbuilding.
It's true that women typically didn't inherit titles and thrones in their own right, and that they were usually given in marriage for political/dynastic reasons. However, they weren't seen as brood mares whose only duty was to pop out sons: both queens and noblewomen had roles to play as household managers, counselors, and lieutenants, actively participating in the ruling of their domains and in local and international diplomacy (women in political alliances were not just pawns sent to a powerful man's bed, but were to act as ambassadors for their families and to pass information back and forth), and they had to be raised with an understanding of this so that they could learn to do it. Motherhood was very important, don't get me wrong, but it's a mistake to assume as pop culture does that a wife's foremost duty being to provide heirs for her family meant that she was ONLY seen as a mother/potential mother.
Catelyn is a great example of what was expected of women in these positions. But in the books, Catelyn is basically the only woman who inhabits this role, and the impression given is that she's exceptional, that she's just in charge of the household because she's so great at it that Ned allows her to be his partner, and that he listens to her advice because she happens to be a wise person in his orbit - and also that Ned is exceptional for giving so much power to a woman, because in the world of ASOIAF, it takes an especially good man to do this. In GRRM's view of the medieval world, realpolitik and the accumulation of power are the most important things, so men in Westeros are extremely unlikely to give up any authority to their wives, even though this is historically inaccurate.
Cersei, on the other hand, is supposed to be a more realistic depiction of what would happen to an ambitious medieval woman. There's a chapter titled "Queen of Sad Mischance: Medievalism, “Realism,” and the Case of Cersei Lannister" in the book I've rec'd, and it deals with why this is problematic extremely well. (This is the source of the quote at the top of this post.) In it, Kavita Mudan Finn argues that Cersei embodies pretty much every medieval trope for the illegitimate wielding of power by a woman. She underhandedly gets people killed for opposing her, she seduces men into doing her bidding, she advances her family's interests and her own at the expense of the realm. She's made sympathetic through fannish interpretation and Lena Headey's performance, but in the text she's an evil woman doing evil things. Even when she gets to be regent for her son - a completely legitimate historical position that allowed women to handle the levers of power almost exactly like a king - she continues to do shitty things and not be taken seriously because she's just not good at ruling.
But even before then, from a medieval perspective she had access to completely legitimate power that she didn't use: she'd have had estates giving her a large personal income, religious establishments to patronize (giving her a good reputation as a pious woman and people she'd put in high positions being personally loyal to her), artists and writers to patronize as well, power over her household, men around her listening to her counsel. That she doesn't have that is a reflection of GRRM either deciding these things don't really exist in Westeros in order to make it a worse world than medieval Europe and justify Cersei feeling she had to use underhanded means of power, or not knowing that they were ordinary and unexceptional because he has a good working knowledge of the politics of the Wars of the Roses but little to no knowledge of social history beyond pop culture osmosis, and, imo, little to no interest in actual power dynamics.
There are a lot of books I'd recommend on this subject. There's a series from Palgrave Macmillan called "Queenship and Power" and nearly all the books in it are THE BEST. Theresa Earenfight's Queenship in Medieval Europe is a very readable introduction to the situations of queens in European societies across the continent. She also has a book, Women and Wealth in Late Medieval Europe, that also addresses non-royal women's power. I'm also a huge fan of English Aristocratic Women, 1450-1550: Marriage and Family, Property and Careers, by Barbara Harris, which really emphasizes the "career" aspect of women's lives as administrators and diplomats.
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lyraeon · 1 year
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If someone falls overboard on a cruise ship, and there is a life preserver on the wall next to you, you throw them the life preserver.
Yes, it would be great if the ship had better railings so no one fell overboard to begin with. Yes, it would be awesome if everyone knew how to swim well enough to save themselves even in such a wild event as falling off a ship, but that's not a standard thing that's taught most places right now.
Yes, it probably is a good idea to know how to swim before you go on a ship, but even if you know how to swim, the act of falling into the water can startle anyone into panicking, so you don't really have time to ask them if they can swim or not before they need the life preserver. Yes, being careful around the railings is a good idea, but you have no way to know right now whether they were doing it for the Vine or someone just tried to murder them, and either way do you actually think they deserve to die for not being 100% careful 24/7?
No, you should not be expected to jump in and try to rescue them yourself when you aren't trained and don't know them, but that's not what anyone's asking you to do. They just want you to grab the life preserver off the wall and throw it towards them, or even to just hand it to someone who can aim well if you're worried about being held responsible if you miss, or hell, you can just get out of the way so someone else can grab it off the wall.
Don't deprive someone of help right now just because in your ideal world, they wouldn't need it. People asking for accommodations within the current system aren't trying to uphold it, they are trying to survive and improve their lives, so don't deny them those because in the system you want to have in place they wouldn't need that accommodation.
Don't deprive someone of help right now just because you're morally inclined to believe they "deserved it". You don't know anyone else's situation, you can never have full context, and quite often, the time and effort it takes to pass judgement on someone's worthiness is more burden on everyone than just giving them the help. And even if you earnestly feel you don't want to help them, why would you stop someone else from doing it? After all, even if your excuse is "to keep them from helping someone who doesn't deserve it", you felt the first person got what they deserved, so why would you think the person trying to help them doesn't deserve any results too?
Put down your swim class brochure and either grab the life preserver or get out of the way so someone else can.
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vixensp1ce · 5 months
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fem!reader, uni au
There's a stranger in your bed, and he's fucking you better than any of your boyfriends have before.
Veritas Ratio pistons into your abused cunt, puffy and raw from his tongue, fingers, and cock. It's slender but long, almost elegant in shape, reaching so deep into you that you're nearly satisfied by him bottoming out alone.
But you're not so easily filled. And it's part of the reason why you're out on town, having finally freed yourself of your previous boyfriend, looking for a good dick to get fucked by.
But no one told you a stranger's dick would be this insane.
"Giving up already?" Everything Veritas says manages to sound judgemental and disappointed. You squeeze tighter around him, whimpering as your pussy protests, but he doesn't even crack an inch. "Slut."
He has you crumpled, exhausted, every muscle twitching from your past orgasms, and still he shows no sign of stopping.
"Can't even cum for me." Those long, deft fingers release their grip on your hair. You lurch forward with a whine of relief - at least until his hand creeps down to your cunt.
"Don't- please- ah, ah, ah~"
He rubs harsh circles into your clit. Sparks rush up into your belly, slamming you shut on his hard, hard dick, the knot ready to snap.
He groans, one of a limited range of sounds you've heard from him this night, and if it was even possible, his strokes get even faster. "Don't, my ass. Make me cum, you little bi- hrrrrrrph."
The knot unravels. "Veri, Veri, please, ah, please-"
A syrupy warmth spills out over your back, and his scent fills your nose again. You whimper, legs trembling, flashing hot and cold as your pussy spasms emptily from your orgasm.
Finally, he lets go. You collapse shakily, turning over.
He's hunched over you, purple strands concealing his expression as he ducks his head to catch his breath. There's a full moon high in the sky, and even the streets have gone quiet on this Friday evening. Or Saturday morning.
Veritas lowers himself slowly onto the mattress next to you, the only indication that he'd ever exerted himself the sheen of perspiration on his forehead. His amber eyes pass impersonally over you, roving over your room as if it were his.
That was how he typically was, you'd learnt. Veritas Ratio was indifferent, coldly analytical towards the softer parts of humanity. Even in the club, he hadn't had much to say about anything except "It's too loud in here."
He was an architecture major something-or-other, handsome in the same way his blueprints were - all flat planes and sharp angles. Veritas had been eyed by a number of girls all over campus (and professors too, so it was rumoured), but his chilling attitude toward each and every one of them had spoken its own message.
Then you'd gone out with some course friends to a club. His liquid amber eyes flashed blue, green, pink under the club lights, digging into the flesh visible just above your thigh-high boots, and you'd decided, hey, why not?
His phone buzzes insistently somewhere in the room. Veritas sighs impatiently, climbing over you to rummage for his possessions. You're too sore to move much and the sudden loss of warmth stirs up an unwelcome hint of disappointment.
You listen to him move around your room for a moment. Warm breath on your ear gives you reason to turn over.
"I have to go now," he says, face inches from yours. You jump in surprise, clutching your blankets to your chest.
"Already?" Maybe you should have expected it. "Do you need a shower first?"
He hesitates. "...That would be nice, thank you."
You wave a hand lazily in the direction of the bathroom, watching him go. "And raise the door up before you latch it!" you call after him.
You hear the brief sounds of struggle, then Veritas manages. The sound of running water starts shortly after.
You let yourself lie for a moment longer, then groan and get up. The sheets and laundry would need to be washed, the house cleaned, and your work for school still needed to be tackled.
You're in the kitchen, doing the dishes, when you hear the front door open and shut.
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