#it feels more correct to keep his story intact

[xkuja]

The more I think about a final fantasy 7 verse for Kuja, the more it feels right to just have him fall straight from the iifa tree to wake up in the sleeping forest or something.

On purpose? Accident? We’ll see!

[x0x0josephinex0x0]

reader, i [kissed] him | Choi San

summary: you have a dumb rude rich dad who hired a bodyguard because he's paranoid...enter choi san who is literally the man dreams are made of but he works for you so that's weird. you're a lit student and you've been giving him book recs. warnings: absent/sucky dad, mention of papercuts, a few minor jane eyre spoilers?, storm, fire

You look up at the sound of a book shutting. San pulls his glasses off and rubs his eyes. “Finished,” he says.

You shut your textbook. “What did you think of the series?”

He leans back in a stretch. “You were right,” he admits. “Percy Jackson is pretty meaningful for a kids’ story.” He replaces his glasses, smiling at you. “So what’s next for the book club?”

You chuckle. “Are you enjoying my reading assignments?”

“Honestly, yeah. I can’t believe I’m getting paid to read books with you,” he says. “There are literally no downsides.”

“You’re getting paid to protect me,” you correct, a teasing smile playing about your lips. “Keep an eye on these books. They’re notorious for giving me paper cuts.”

“I will personally destroy any book who dares to mess with your fingers,” he vows dramatically, and you laugh. “But seriously, are you done studying for the day or do I get another reading assignment?” 

“I still have a bit of work to do,” you say, pulling out your copious notes. “So you get another hour or so to read. Don’t you want to choose one?”

He shakes his head. “Nah,” he says. “I’d rather live inside your head for awhile. Why? Did you run out of books?”

You make a mock-offended face. “Absolutely not,” you say. “I just wanted to give you the option to read what you want to read, instead of what I want you to read.”

“What you want me to read is what I want to read,” he tells you, standing up. “Now, lay it on me.”

“Jane Eyre,” you say. “It’ll be in the B section.”

You watch as his broad shoulders retreat into the library shelves, admiring the muscles clearly visible underneath his tight black shirt. Shaking your head, you turn back to your studies, reminding yourself that ogling your bodyguard is a fruitless and unnecessary activity that will not help you pass your college classes.

He takes a seat shortly afterward, holding up the copy of Jane Eyre. “Why this one?” he asks — his constant question before he reads any of your suggestions. 

“Well,” you say carefully, “it’s actually…my favorite.”

His eyes get wide. “This book is your favorite?” he asks, pointing to the gray cover. 

You nod. “My absolute favorite, of all time, ever.”

“I thought you were gonna save your favorite for graduation,” he says. “Why are you moving it forward in the queue?”

“Because I feel our friendship will remain intact even if you don’t like it,” you say. “I wasn’t sure for awhile there.”

He raises an eyebrow at you. “Are you saying you’ll still love me even if I don’t like your favorite book?” he asks with a glint of humor in his eyes.

“That’s exactly what I’m saying,” you say. “Although it’d be hard for me. This book is a must-read if you hope to understand anything about me.”

He leans back, opening the book to the first page. “Then I don’t see how I couldn’t like it,” he says. “I don’t know why you were worried. Brief summary?”

“Terrible childhood, brooding gentleman, house with a dark secret, romance.” His eyes stay on you as you list the themes. Then suddenly your phone buzzes. You look at it and make a face.

“Your dad?” San guesses.

You nod, answering the call. “Hello?” you say in trepidation.

“Where are you?” he barks. 

“At the library at school,” you say, trying to keep a calm tone. “I’m studying.”

“Good,” he says gruffly. “Is San with you?” 

You sigh quietly. “Yes,” you say. 

“Perfect. I’ll be gone the next few days for a trip. Don’t call.”

“Okay, I won’t,” you promise, hanging up.

“What happened?” San asks immediately. “Was he unkind?”

You bite the inside of your cheek. “No more than usual,” you reply. “He’s going out of town and wanted to make sure I knew not to call.”

San’s jaw clenches briefly, before turning his attention back to the book in his hand. “So why is this book your favorite?”

You consider him for a moment. You know a major motivation for him to ask you this question is to distract you from thoughts of your father, but he nonetheless looks earnest, so you answer honestly. “The book is written from the point of view of a young woman whose frank honesty is pretty inspiring. She doesn’t extol her virtues or edit out her failings. And it’s a story of how she comes into her own and finds herself. I don’t know, it’s just compelling.”

He gives you a large, dimpled smile -- that smile that stops the world, that makes you want to give him everything he ever wanted. “She sounds like you,” he says.

You blush. “Well, I haven’t found myself yet,” you say. “I’m still looking.”

“You might not be perfect yet,” he admonishes, “but you know yourself well. Now get back to studying or else we’ll be here all night.”

You can’t help but smile softly to yourself as you turn back to your books.

***

Later that night, you’re alone in your room with a candle burning, the window open to the cool night air. Your father’s large house is quiet, and you thumb through your personal copy of Jane Eyre, remembering how when you and San had left the library, he insisted on checking it out. “It’s your favorite,” he’d said, confused, when you asked him why. 

You smile in spite of yourself once again, thinking about how all the things you want feel just out of your reach. You have family — but they aren’t close. You have money — but no ability to use it due to your father’s curmudgeonly nature. And here is the perfect man — silly, intelligent, handsome, and the kindest person you’ve ever known, and yet he works for you. That is a line you know it would be unfair to him to try to cross, especially with a father like you have. 

Lost in thought, you slip on your favorite blue nightgown. Perhaps tonight, with the chill air on your skin, you’ll wander the halls of the house with your candle just like the secret Mrs. Rochester herself. You even consider going down the hall to where San sleeps to see if he’s made it to that part yet, but stop yourself when you realize just how inappropriate that would look. Instead, you sink into your bed and stare at the ceiling, urging sleep to come and whisk you away into a dream world that is hopefully happier than the one in which you live. 

You have scarcely closed your eyes when the rumble of thunder wakes you. The open window is swinging dangerously on its hinges as a storm rages outside. You shriek as rain begins pelting the carpet, and hop up to shut the window. With the sound of the storm now muffled, you try to flick on the bedside lamp, but either the bulb is burnt out or you’ve lost power. You go to the main light and flip the switch — nothing. You sigh. It’s about to be very cold.

Just then there’s a knock at the door, making you jump. You crack it open to see San, in his pajamas, holding a candle. “Everything okay in there?” he asks you. “I heard a scream.”

“Yeah, I just forgot to close the window before I fell asleep, and then the storm started,” you say sheepishly. “Sorry to wake you.”

He shrugs. “It’s okay,” he says. His eyes travel down your body, taking in the sight of you in your nightgown. Goosebumps erupt on your arms, and he notices right away. “Are you cold?”

You shiver. “Uh, yeah,” you say. 

He smiles. “Your dad’s sitting room has a fireplace. Let’s go.”

“Won’t he be mad?” you say, even as you step out of your bedroom with a blanket. 

“He’ll never even know,” San assures you. Minutes later, you are sitting on a couch with a blazing fire in front of you, blankets tucked around you as San leans his back against the couch, looking proudly at the fire he made. 

You adjust the strap of your nightgown, looking at him shyly. “Thanks,” you say.

He smiles in reply. “So, Jane’s quite the heroine,” he says, shouting you a glance.

You smile. “How far did you get?”

“I’m at the part where the fortune teller talks to the party guests.”

Your eyes get wide. “What? That’s pretty far.”

“It’s pretty good,” he says earnestly. “I’ve always wanted a little girl like Adele.”

“Pretty?” you ask him.

He grins. “Spoiled,” he says. “Although I’d be sweeter to her than Mr. Rochester is.”

“I’ll bet you would. What do you think about Mr. Rochester so far?”

He shrugs. “Probably similarly to how most people in his life feel. He’s a mysterious man. I don’t think I trust him.”

“Can I give you a tiny spoiler,” you beg, and he laughs. 

“I think I am contractually forbidden to say no to you,” he says, “and also, yes, as long as it isn’t major.”

You lean forward, nearly whispering to him. “The next bit is some of the spookiest stuff in the book.”

You move your legs to give him room on the couch as he stands up to sit next to you. “Am I gonna get scared?” he asks. 

“You’re a bodyguard. Aren’t you supposed to be brave?” you tease.

He scoffs. “Being brave isn’t about not being scared. It’s about facing the fear.”

You nod, impressed. “Ah, how well-said. You know, for a bodyguard, you’re quite eloquent.”

“And for a pretentious academic, you’re quite down-to-earth,” he teases. “However, I will say that you don’t strike me as someone who’s scared of much.”

You think for a moment. “I suppose I’m not,” you say slowly, “although it isn’t quite that simple. I do have anxiety.”

“What’s the difference?” he asks, sounding genuinely curious. 

“I’m not scared of spiders or the dark or storms or even dying, necessarily. But any one of those things could make me overthink myself into full-on panic. I got bitten by a spider and it made me so anxious that I was convinced I would die every night.”

He nods, thinking, his eyes twinkling in the firelight. “What does it feel like for you?” he asks softly.

“Like a weight on my chest,” you respond immediately. “Sometimes it’s so bad I can hardly breathe.”

You have to turn away as he looks at you. His expression is so compassionate you are afraid that his empathy will pick up on the very real feelings you have for him. He asks a new question. “And joy — what does that feel like?”

You look at him, eyebrows raised. He raises both his hands in an innocent gesture. “You have such colorful descriptions,” he says. “I just want to get a little deeper into your headspace. It’ll probably help me do my job better.”

You shoot him a skeptical glance before giving in. “Joy feels like…the first step out the door when the air starts to turn cold and crisp for fall. It’s like something new but also so familiar.” You think about the feeling you get every time he smiles. “It’s…expansive. And warm.” You turn to him. “What about you?”

His eyes widen in surprise to have been asked. “Oh. Um…” he thinks for a second, and a slow smile spreads across his face. “Joy feels like music to me, like the best part of your favorite song.”

“Beautiful,” you say, smiling back at him. “And fear? What does that feel like?”

“Being trapped. No freedom,” he says. He hesitates before he asks the next question. “And…love?”

You blush. “Love isn’t an emotion,” you protest, looking away from him. “Love is a verb. It’s an action.”

“You’re right,” he allows, “but it comes with a very specific feeling. How does that feel? For you?”

You look up at him, finally, unable to look away. “That’s one I’m not sure about.” You force yourself to ask what you don’t want to know — because he’s a little older than you, and has lived a whole life apart from you, a life that must have involved the whole spectrum of human emotion and loss and love, but to hear of him falling in love is too much — “Maybe if you describe it, I’ll recognize it.”

He opens his mouth, then pauses, searching your face before smiling bemusedly. “It’s…it’s this heat, everywhere,” he says. “Almost like you’re being lit up like a candle from the inside, almost like if someone were to really look at you, they’d be able to see light coming from every part of you, even…even underneath your fingernails.”

Your heart nearly stops as you realize he’s describing almost perfectly how it feels for you to be around him. You swallow nervously before replying. “It sounds…intense.”

He chuckles. “It is.” And then he does something so unexpected that you gasp. He leans in and catches your cheek in his hand. “When I’m around you,” he says, and his voice is shaking, “it sometimes feels like I might explode — it’s like you are firelight, filling up all the parts of me that used to be empty, and then some. I’m surprised you can’t see my veins from the outside, because I swear to God, I can feel you lighting them up. You’re everywhere.”

He gently brings your face forward so your lips are practically touching. “Everywhere,” he whispers once more, before closing the gap and kissing you. 

He pulls you into his lap as he does, cradling you in his arms, and you have to hold on to his shirt for dear life as you kiss him back. When he finally pulls back slightly, pressing his forehead to yours, he asks you quietly, “this, what does this feel like for you?”

You consider, touching his face with your fingertips as his eyes bore into your own. He looks positively desperate to know. After awhile you answer. “All the voices that are usually shouting at me in my head are suddenly very quiet.”

“And that’s…good?” he asks intently.

“It’s…more than good,” you admit with a blush.

“Do you want me to keep going?” he says, and his voice is breathless, his chest heaving.

“More than anything.”

He smiles, kissing you again. 

[within-your-eyes-if]

November 1st Progress Update

I hope everyone had a safe and enjoyable Halloween, for those who celebrated!

First and foremost, real life has thrown some curveballs my way, I'll be largely unavailable at the end of this week. I have a long update here, so lets jump in.

Alpha Testing Progress: It's moving along quite well! Only 3 more scenes to implement (hi testers, I know you're waiting ♥), and then Part One will be 'complete'. Once additional testing and feedback implementation are done, it'll undergo a brief beta test. Current word count? A whopping 146k! I anticipate it crossing 150k after these scenes. And yes, I may be recruiting a few more testers today or tomorrow - I have kept applications, so if you’ve already applied, no need to reapply.

Big Shoutout: To all my testers - you're stars! Thank you for your dedication and patience.

Heights and Measures: I've been mulling over the heights of female Gabriel and male Xiao for quite a while. While I've previously addressed and altered fem Lee’s height, fem Gabriel’s has been on my mind too. I'm aiming for more diversity in my ROs, so your thoughts would be invaluable. Here’s a poll to gather some feedback. Please remember, while I deeply value your input, the final decision will be based on what feels right for the story.

About Poly Routes: Many of you have expressed excitement about the inclusion of poly routes, and I apologize for not offering clarity on their nature earlier. Rest assured, I remain committed to delivering these routes, but I aim to ensure each one is rich and fulfilling. Presently, I'm contemplating both triangle and V poly dynamics, with the goal of finding what aligns best with the narrative and characters. Although the triangle dynamic was my initial plan, I believe I may be able to implement both, but I'm still not 100% certain yet.

In structuring the poly routes, particularly as they debut in Chapter 3, I debated including the casual flings found with certain ROs in non-poly routes, alongside the deeper romantic ties intrinsic to all ROs. After reflection, I've resolved that poly routes will emphasize romance exclusively. Thus, if your character's preference leans towards no-strings-attached flings, these won't characterize the poly routes. Given the array of ROs and their diverse dynamics, not to mention non-RO flings, this decision streamlines my writing process and makes it easier for me to have one aspect to focus on with them. Your patience and understanding in this matter are deeply appreciated.

That being said: Given the depth of my story, I'm leaning towards releasing future updates in smaller segments, akin to Chapter 3's structure. This isn't just about speed but about ensuring quality across the numerous ROs and narrative paths.

Chapter 3 expanded beyond my initial imagination, causing some initial stress, making me wonder what was needed and what wasn't (but it all felt necessary). So in the end, I decided to break it, and I'm very glad I did. It's relieved a lot of my worries. This lets me keep the story's richness intact and (hopefully) reduce the wait between updates.

I've started to notice my creative process sometimes takes me beyond initial outlines, or even reevaluate them entirely, letting the story breathe and evolve more naturally. This realization is relatively new for me, but it's shaping how I approach future updates.

From Ch3 Part One and on, future updates will likely be broken into parts, potentially leading to more "Chapter #: Part One" styled releases. I hope this provides clarity on my evolving approach and is seen not only as way for me focus on individual parts, but as a way to consistently update.

I hope this all makes sense! While I don't have a specific release day in mind yet, I feel my mid-November prediction is correct. Thank you all for your continued support and love. It means the world to me!

[torreshalstead]

I’ll show you mine - part 13

Summary - He didn’t fit. His clothes were too nice, his hair too neat, he was raising all the red flags for Hailey. She didn’t think he was part of the crew she was trying to take down, but why else would he be in such an establishment on a random Tuesday night? But then he muttered the words into her ear that she had least expected - ‘I’m police’.

Chapters - 13/13

Notes - Thanks so much for your love on this story, I hope you enjoy this ending! ❤️ AO3 Link

Hailey couldn’t deny she was nervous. She and Jay had spent a long time discussing their decision, the possible repercussions for their positions and their relationship and how they were going to go about it. Although she was certain they had come to the correct conclusion, that telling Voight was the next logical step, it still didn’t lessen her nerves.

Jay had been released from the hospital after telling his brother that if he wanted him to stay overnight he was going to have to sedate him, so Will reluctantly agreed that he could go home but only if Hailey went with him. Neither were opposed to that idea. Although Jay had been signed off until he had time to heal, he’d be coming back on desk duty next week which he was thrilled about, they decided to grab the bull by the horns and tell Voight the following day.

‘We can wait until you’re back full time,’ Hailey had suggested, the pair cuddled up on the couch together making sure Jay’s shoulder was supported by a strategically placed cushion with Hailey leaning against his opposite side.

‘Tomorrow Hails, we do it tomorrow,’ Jay had said calmly, dropping a gentle kiss to her hairline.

‘Only if you’re sure,’ she responded.

‘I’m positive, otherwise the next few weeks it’ll just play on both our minds,’ Jay said and with that the decision had been made. They had only a few more hours for their secret relationship to remain a secret and then they would out themselves to the one man who could potentially have an issue with it.

Hailey also needed to speak to Kim. She wanted to speak to her. She had appreciated Kim not outing her in front of Kevin and for the offer of some time just the two of them. She knew she would probably give her a bit of shit for keeping it a secret but judging by the grin on her face in the waiting room, she would be happy for them. It would be nice to not have to keep it hidden from everyone, teasing aside.

They had decided to head into the bullpen before everyone else to save any additional questions as to Jay’s prescience when he was ordered to be recuperating at home, so when they walked up the stairs it was just them. Voight’s office door was closed but the light was on, an indicator that their boss was in early as expected.

She stopped herself from reaching across to hold Jay’s good hand, use it to ground herself and to take some of his courage - he was much calmer about this situation than she was. She guessed it was probably because he knew Voight better than she did, and had more of an idea of the reaction they could expect when they dropped the proverbial bombshell. But she also wondered if it was something he hadn’t quite considered yet, he had less to lose than she did.

Ignoring the internal misogyny that the Chicago police department fostered regarding relationships between officers, Hailey was still new to the unit. And as the age old adage said, last one in, first one out. Jay would be a hell of a bigger loss to the team and to Voight than she would be. She was still learning, whereas he had years of experience in the role. If Voight was going to get rid of either of them to keep his no relationship rule intact, she would be the one out the door.

She didn’t think Jay would consciously be thinking about it, probably hadn’t even crossed his mind, but it could be a reason why he had a much calmer attitude than she did. She could feel her palms sweating already and they were still at least 12 feet from the door that held their fate behind it.

‘I love you,’ Jay whispered, clearly sensing her unease as they walked towards it.

‘I love you too,’ she replied, because she did. Loving him was never the problem.

Jay reached the door first and rapped a couple of times with his knuckles before Voight’s gruff response told them to come in.

‘Is there a reason you’re disobeying doctors orders Halstead?’ Voight said, pushing back a little from his desk and crossing his arms.

‘Technically shift hasn’t started yet,’ Jay responded, a small smirk playing on his cheeks.

‘Hmm,’ Voight hummed. ‘To what do I owe this pleasure?’ He asked, gesturing between the pair of them. Hailey had closed the door behind her and had taken up a position standing next to Jay, not too close though.

‘Hailey and I had something we wanted to tell you,’ Jay said clearly, his voice not wavering.

‘Is this about your relationship?’ Voight asked without missing a beat. That beat was something Hailey’s heart definitely did miss.

They had been so careful, she was sure of it. She knew they had had a few close calls in the break room but no one had ever seen them. Had they?

‘It is,’ Jay said, still calm and confident. Hailey would say she was impressed if she wasn’t currently feeling confused and a little scared. ‘We need to fill in that HR paperwork to declare a pre-existing relationship.’

‘Pre-existing?’ Voight cocked an eyebrow in question.

‘Hailey and I got together before she started in Intelligence,’ Jay confirmed. Hailey wished she could speak up for herself, she was a Detective and could speak to hardened criminals in any kind of situation, but as it turns out, discussing your romantic relationship with your boss - much harder.

‘And you didn’t declare it before?’ Voight asked.

‘We wanted Hailey to get a fair shot in the unit and the district. Not to be marked just because she was in a relationship with me,’ Jay said.

Voight hummed again, choosing not to comment on what Jay had said.

‘If it’s an issue to have two detectives together in the same unit, you transfer me,’ Jay said and Hailey felt her heart drop. They hadn’t discussed this. They were to go in as a united front, use their pre-existing status as a shield, but Jay was offering himself up in a sacrificial move. He loved Intelligence, she knew he did.

She just hadn’t factored that maybe he loved her more.

‘Hailey brings a lot to this unit, her leadership and her skills. It would be detrimental for her to leave, and damage the team spirit. I can be replaced. So if one of us needs to go. It’s me.’

‘Sounds like you’re telling me what to do Halstead,’ Voight growled.

‘No Sargeant,’ Jay said, shaking his head a little. ‘I’m just saying if that’s the path you want to take, that will be the end it will reach. I’ll walk before Hailey leaves Intelligence.’

‘Platt’s got the paperwork already filled in,’ Voight said after pausing to consider Jay’s words.

‘Sir?’ Hailey said, finally finding her voice.

‘You’re a superb undercover cop Upton, but you gave yourself away when Halstead here took a bullet.’ Hailey blushed slightly but Voight seemed to ignore the change in pigment. ‘You were close to barging me out of the way to get to the ambulance.’

Hailey dropped her head, embarrassed that she had given the game away by her inability to control her emotions.

‘But you didn’t,’ Voight continued. Hailey’s head shot up. ���You kept your head and continued to work the case.’

She nodded and could see Jay looking at her out of the corner of her eye but she didn’t risk looking across to him.

‘So, go sign the paperwork and don’t make me regret my decision,’ Voight finished. If Hailey didn’t know better she would have sworn she saw a hint of a smile playing on the Sergeants lips.

‘We won’t, sir,’ Hailey said with Jay echoing her comment behind her.

She wanted to jump for joy, throw herself at Jay and hug him tightly, injured shoulder be damned. However she thought that might not sit well when they had just been told to not make Voight regret it, so she controlled herself and walked into the bullpen, Jay following her behind her.

But when the door clicked shut, she pulled him into a hug.

‘You didn’t have to do that,’ she murmured, his t-shirt muffling her voice.

‘I did,’ Jay said, pulling back slightly to push a loose strand of hair behind her ear, cradling her cheek in his palm. ‘You deserve this position Hails, I wasn’t going to let you lose it because of me.’

‘I love you,’ Hailey said, reaching up to press a gentle kiss to his lips.

‘I knew it!’

They jump apart like they had been electrocuted.

Adam, Kevin and Kim stood together at the top of the stairs.

Kim looked incredibly pleased with herself. Adam’s mouth was wide open in shock and Kevin was grinning like a kid on Christmas morning.

‘I’m going to go home now,’ Jay said, winking at her before giving her another quick peck to her cheek.

‘You’re going to leave me to be interrogated by these three?’ Hailey sassed back, laughing at the situation they had found themselves in. They had been so careful and then she had kissed him in the bullpen like a love sick idiot, and failed to check her surroundings.

‘Yep!’ He said with a grin. ‘Doctor's orders, Hails.’

Hailey heard him chuckle all the way down the stairs.

‘Alright then, who wants to go first,’ Hailey said, throwing her arms wide in defeat.

She loved her team, she loved this job and she loved the man who had put her in this situation.

As the team started to throw comments and questions at her about the fact she had been secretly dating Jay, she couldn’t help but smile.

‘Was this before or after we had to listen to you two flirting in the van?’ Adam asked.

‘I’m only partially offended you didn’t tell me Upton, thought we had something special,’ Kevin said but his eyes sparkled with nothing but kindness.

‘Do I get to be the maid of honour seeing as he told me he loved you first?’ Kim asked.

She could take all the comments and teasing they could give her so long as she went home at the end of the day to the man who loved her.

Hailey wasn’t a fool, didn’t see life through rose tinted lenses so she knew she would still face some of the backlash from dating another cop. There would still be mutters and murmurs about how she had got her position in Intelligence, but it somehow didn’t matter so much anymore.

She loved Jay.

She had a team that supported her and supported him as well.

Voight knew and didn’t care.

Platt knew and would shut down any piece of gossip before it spiralled out of hand.

The officers on the force had a short term memory, something else would become the topic of conversation soon enough and she could go on living her life and doing her job.

All the time, loving and being loved by Jay Halstead.

It wasn’t the outcome she had ever expected when she had met him in that bar, both calling each other different names and working on different teams.

Now they were working on the same team and knew every part of each other’s bodies as well as each other’s names.

Someday she might call him a different name, a name that only she could say, and she smiled at the thought, but until that day, she was happy and so was he. And that was all that mattered.

[captainmortuem]

SWTOR Secret Santa 2023

My giftee was @tiredassmage

I know you said you were in love with the Agent, but I fell in love with the idea of the relationship between your Knight and Warrior. I tried my best to get their personalities based off of the tagged posts and character bios, as well as playing into a bit of that in-between from begrudging alliance to blossoming friendship that (as far as I could tell from all the posts I was reading) would take place right around the time of Shadow of Revan. Not as cold as Ilum may have been, but not yet so devoted as during the KotXX story. Like seriously, I spent three hours looking at their character tags to try and figure them out.

Bonus for some of my own SWTOR OCs thrown in there, and a few of yours who don’t really take to the foreground. I sincerely hope you enjoy all 1,134 words.

The hideout on Rishi had become… crowded. To put it nicely. Barring the fact that four, or more apt would be “three and some broken up metal pieces of a droid” of their group was out galavanting around the planet while the notorious pirate captain of the Red Hulls sat in this one room that had been deemed “safe” by their Imperial and Republic associates. Six of the eight incarnations of this “captain” sat performing various leisurely tasks while the remaining two, Tyr and Evek’fezen, patrolled the outside to make sure nobody got too wise about what this mismatched group of Jedi, Sith, Spies, Troopers, and Criminals were doing boarded up in the same hut as one another. Slumo’cet’lezu and Ipah’fezen were playing a game of Sabaac off to one side, using a crate as a table and discarded baskets as chairs, and only a few times had they drawn blasters on one another with accusations of cheating. Darth Occlus and Satia sat in the corner sharing history and culture with one another, comparing and contrasting the planets they’d been to and the people they’d met in their respective empire’s spheres of influence, each thankful that the other seemed keen to avoid political banter and the usual shortcomings that topic brings. But the most curious of the bunch was the Hero of Tython and the Emperor’s wrath, not bickering or sparring with one another as one would expect with the Shield of the Republic and the Sword of the Empire so close together, instead the two seemed keen on just enjoying one another’s company. There was a kinship to be had between warriors, different banners they may wear, but of a kind all the same. The Knight had Kira standing beside him, strangely tense and the room could feel it, but the proximity to so many Sith was still a bit jarring for the Jedi after having only recently killed the Sith emperor. Plenty of reasons for tensions to be a lot higher than they seemed to be, barring the Sabaac game off to one side, but neither of them seemed to care further than their credits could get them.

“Strange how circumstances keep bringing us back together like this. It was Ilum first, yes?” Rhyst spoke up first, sitting across from Savosta in one of the few intact chairs in the room.

“Correct, Ilum was the first instance of us working together. It was a welcome reprieve when you showed the sense to assist in the destruction of Malgus.”

“It was the best choice any of us had. He was a threat to the Republic and the Empire both. Since then we’ve become… friends?”

“It is perhaps too soon to define our working relationship with words like “friendship.” A partnership, similar to that of our respective selves and the spies from either side.”

“Lana and Theron, you mean. What’s your take on them?” Rhyst asked, sitting up a bit straighter in the chair.

“You wish for a tactical assessment? They exceed where they have trained, subterfuge and deceit. Unsightly skills, but ones they see fit to use for what seems to be a great good. If there is such a thing.” Savosta sat back in his chair, fingering the edges of the lightsaber blade in his palm. The experience on Rishi had been, enlightening, if not clouding his mind further the more he thought of his supposed antithesis sitting across from him. There was a respect; respect for duty, respect for expectations, respect for somebody who has lived through battle after battle, and a strangely begrudging respect for the man that had killed his emperor. Rhystyl was a dangerous man, an oddity, how could Savosta share so much with a man who is ideologically opposed to everything he stands for?

“I don’t mean a tactical assessment, they’re both accomplished spies. I mean their relationship to one another. They are working toward the same goal, but something still doesn’t sit right. I have a feeling something is going to happen soon, something big, and I don’t know if waiting here is the right way to prepare for it. Revan is still alive, and we’ve got six of the ten people in the galaxy who could stop him just sitting in a room playing cards and talking philosophy. Does that seem right to you?”

“It is not a question of right or wrong. The spies are playing their game, let them play. A sword or a blaster is no good without a target. When we know where to go, and who to destroy, then we will go there and destroy them. If you’ll excuse me, I am going to get some air, as fetid as the air in this cove may be.” Savosta stood from his chair, bowing his head ever so slightly as a sign of respect to the Jedi before making his way outside. There was a section of the building they stayed in that was relatively flat up on the roof, and Savosta climbed his way up there to ruminate on all that had happened since Ilum, Manaan, and now the events on Rishi.

It was only a few moments before Savosta could feel another presence, one that made no effort to be hidden from him, his companion and member of the Dark Council, Darth Occlus.

“Tire of philosophy with the Jedi?” He asked, not looking up from his view over the cove and all the people within who went about their piracy and private lives without so much as a thought to what lay outside the walls of their home.

“Quite the opposite, she’s been an unusually engaging partner. But my interests currently lie with you, your conflict is more than apparent to somebody attuned to the force, like both myself and my previous conversation partner.”

“Do not presume to read me, councilman. My thoughts lie on our next steps, where we will go from here.”

“You know as well as I that I do not have a say in whether or not you are “read”, Wrath. I would be executed for saying this, but these Jedi may present an opportunity. Not for scheming and backstabbing, nor conquest and decimation.”

“Then what?”

“Unity. A potential for peace. If nothing else, at least an end to the status quo. The Galaxy cannot war with itself forever, but this small step towards an alliance could be a wind that douses the flame the Empire and Republic seem keen to keep lit. Malgus was right in his thoughts, if not wrong in his actions. The Empire needs to change, the Galaxy needs to change. These companions we make now and the bonds that are being formed, those will be the seeds for a bright and unusual future for everybody.”

“But first Revan.”

“And many more, Wrath. Many, many more after.”

[superblycaffeinated]

Find the list of January Prompts I’m participating in here - join in! I love seeing all the different stories people come up with from the same words 💙 I actually didn’t pop the words of the prompt into this one, just more of the general feeling that they brought to me. Please enjoy Joe being Joe and also the tiniest hint of a nod to the listen series by @averagejoesolomon in the form of a spoon, a dad and his daughter in this 

Joe could use a shower, a warm bed, and a decent cup of coffee. His jet-lag hasn’t caught up to him just yet, that feeling of an op clings to him, keeping him going far longer than possible. Adrenaline and anxiety curl around tense and tight muscles still, making his brain more alert than it should be. 

Which is why he slows his steps when the black town car rounds the corner, heading in the same direction as him. Eyes track the moving vehicle from under aviators as he pulls out the burner, maintaining his course towards the idling jet, dialing the number he’s had memorized for the past several years. 

It rings three times, he speaks five numbers into the receiver clearly, then a click. 

“Rachel Morgan, Headmistress of the-”

“Catch me up here, Rach-Ms. Morgan,” he corrects, staring as the car’s red brake lights glow, and a teenage girl climbs out of the backseat. 

Rachel’s voice is crackled and stiff over the line, but he can detect the amusement in her tone. “We have an international student who just so happened to also need a lift home. Win-win.”

The teenage girl stands with her arms crossed next to the trunk of the car, a stubborn pout on her lips before she sees him. He can tell she’s startled at the sight of him - hesitant - all of it clear just from her eyes, but she’s pretty good at hiding it - her body language and pout remain intact. 

He ducks his head, lips barely moving against the phone as he hisses, “How is me, sitting on a jet, alone, trapped with a teenage girl for eight hours, a win-win, Rachel?”

“You need a ride, she needs a ride, and I need you both here. Quite literally the definition of a win-win, if you ask me. Actually, it’s technically a win-win-win. They should give me a trophy for that many in a row.” 

Abe and Grace Baxter climb out of the car and he watches the girl melt into her mother’s embrace as he grows closer to the trio and the waiting jet. 

He shakes his head, ever so slightly, and laughs, amused, but irritated nonetheless. 

“You know, you’re becoming more and more like your sister each passing day?”

It’s meant as a joke, a light-hearted jab, like they used to. But things aren’t the same anymore, and they haven’t been for quite some time. 

If he were there, in person, maybe he’d see her eyes, feel that air that surrounds Rachel and tells him the silent things he needs to know. But he’s in London and she’s in Virginia, and all he can do is listen to the tight way her words come out. 

“Well, I suppose I should take that as a compliment. Everyone likes Abby more anyways. Always have, right?”

“Rachel, I didn’t mean-”

“Best get going, Mr. Solomon. At this rate, you and Ms. Baxter will be crashing my welcome back speech.”

The phone clicks and then she’s gone. 

He’s at the car now, and Abe Baxter has his hands on his daughter’s shoulders, smiling.

“Don’t forget that thing I taught you with-”

“With the spoon. Yeah, dad, I got it.” She rolls her eyes, tone seeming to be brushing it off, but Joe can see the way she loves her father fiercely, all from those eyes that give her away. 

Grace smiles at him, “Sorry we can’t stay and catch up, Joe. Duty calls. Keep an eye on our girl?”

He nods, a short but courteous thing and offers his best smile. He drops the burner, stomps on it, and pulls the pieces apart before tossing it to Abe who catches it without looking up. Rebecca Baxter watches it all with eager, hungry eyes - like a sponge trying to absorb every last drop. He suspects she’ll be one of his new students who gives him a run for his money. And that’s before he hears:

“Darling, give Liz and Cammie our love!” 

She waves as the town car doors close, watching until it disappears and her bags and trunks are loaded into the plane. 

Joe is fairly certain his heart rate has increased exponentially because not only is he about to be trapped on a plane with a teenager, but a teenager who just so happens to be best friends with the one girl he isn’t ready to see again. 

Rebecca turns to face him, her hand out, overconfidence radiating out of her like she thinks she’s a seasoned operative like her parents, like him, and not the inexperienced teenager that she is. 

Joe is one thousand percent positive he can hear Matthew Morgan, somewhere, wishing him an apprehensive:

Good luck, buddy. And get ready.

[lacktastrophe]

That eternal flame page where lucy says that mike thinks she like seeing him miserable always rub me the wrong way, i mean he has reasons to think like that, when she came back he tried (although badly) to fix things and then she ignore him and say horrible things to him in his ear range, that doesn´t make her better than him in december

I feel we might be being a bit too hard on Lucy.

Cut because this is LOOOOOONG.

You're right in that Lucy's portrayal is very different comparing the original to the Omnibus. The main reason for this is because the audience changed during the course of the original and that's more than evident in what had been Volume 1, as BCB was originally slapstick comedy. Lucy was the sweet girl with an abraisive side the cast would often find themselves on, and Mike was the straight man of a comedy duo as they went through their school years.

A lot of the earliest in-fighting in the community was over the comic staying true to its roots when Veronica showed she wanted to tell a different story through inserting drama into various chapters (Hellooooo confrontation). When BCB gained more exposure, it started attracting even more people over the drama as well, but Veronica tried entertaining both audiences for a while until eventually the drama side won out.

The one bad side to trying to entertain both audiences for a whole volume is it left a, uh, bad predicent in the future, particularly when it came to Lucy's character, and this was felt more when the spotlight left her and Mike's relationship because we started to get starved for Lucy development. You aren't really supposed to have the audience sympathise with the antagonistic lead or show depth in a slapstick since that takes the fun out of it. But at the same time, we're are expected to sympathise with Lucy when we start noticing that not everything is what it appears to be, and Lucy was really this troubled kid at heart who has difficulty getting her feelings across the table. Volume 1 existed in two worlds.

Its for that reason I really feel like from the start, Volume 1 might be the source for a lot of people being hard-bent out of shape with Lucy and with people who are sympathic with Lucy today. It's kind of hard to imagine why this wouldn't be the case, because once the spotlight left her and her relationship with Mike in Volume 2 and 3 and started focusing on the other characters, I felt if people wanted to learn more about Lucy, they would've likely head back to Volume 1 to look for clues, and they would've found things that didn't look quite right; a Lucy that appeared so mean and cold to people, where originally she was supposed to be 'indifferent' to the things around her like she would be in a slapstick, and things have gotten lost in translation as the story and years progressed.

If you really wanted to understand Lucy, I really feel like you needed to discard Volume 1, because Volume 2 was where we started seeing answers to some of the abraisiveness, like when we learn that parts of her aggression are the result of her masking her vulnerabilities.

I don't feel it mattered how hard Veronica tried to try and convince people Lucy was worth sympathising over when she made her return, I think people fell that far in "love" with Volume 1 Lucy they wouldn't budge when she made her return.

I feel the Omnibus has corrected this course, it really tuned the feel of the original story for the audience it's ended with, while also keeping most of the original humor intact. It's also allowed Veronica to refine Lucy through subtle changes, but more so with the dialogue. I feel like it works even better now.

Going back to the first part of the ask; Lucy had every reason to turn Mike down in Unspoken Rule. The differences between both of these attempts to reconcile was in December, Lucy wanted to rekindle her friendship with Mike, in Unspoken Rule, Mike wanted to rekindle the friendship, but not for her sake.

We're at a part in the story knowing that Lucy finds her relationship with Mike invaluable, and we know this through the things she's willing to sacrifice in order to make that a possibility. That became ever the more clear in Eternal Flame when she was willing to undo all her person growth and being rid of her co-dependency, just so Mike would be back in her life for good this time -- All of it out the door. She didn't even resist his attempt to kiss her initially either, because ultimately she wanted it, she wanted him. Every other friendship pales in comparison; there had been various reasons, but there just is no alternative to Mike. We've known this from some of her actions in the past too where she had even turned down the chances of a (dubiously) better relationships with the other characters a number of times. I'm not talking about chapters where she made obvious like in After You, I'm talking further back in chapters like Carry Me, where you thought she was going to get along with Paulo after all that attentive effort to look after her and get them both home. But all Mike just needs to do is show some concern, pull out asprin and she's already forgotten about Paulo. That's how bad it is. Mike is irreplacable. He's had a long time presence in her life. It's not easy to replace him at all.

I wish it were the same with Unspoken Rule, but it wasn't; Mike wanted to rekindle the relationship, but not for Lucy's sake. Mike wanted it because he'd been having nightmares of his relationship with Sandy failing, and he had been running out of people to turn to who would convince him the relationship would work out. Despite her absence, Lucy had yet to make a slight remark at Sandy, though that would be something that would happen on the following page.

Had this not been the case and it actually were for Lucy's sake too, Mike would've needed to come clean on some of the meant back in December in his apology, something he had been meaning to explain ever since the night of the play. But that was something he couldn't suddenly bring himself to do. The reason for this is because he's hardwired himself to focus on only the negative side of Lucy. It's this way because he remembers how unhealthy the relationship had been. But, choosing to suppress some of the better moments with Lucy, couldn't help but to see reason to think that might also have something to do with showing obedience and loyalty to Sandy at the same time.

After all...

December was different at its core because Lucy was trying to get Mike to remember the better points of their friendship to try and save it, by getting him to remember. She'd be partially successful in this, as her way of getting him to see this would be playing their favourite pass-time, but playing her least favourite game, and giving him all the advantages. She'd be the punching bag for all the frustation in the past.

Well, it wouldn't be as great as saying sorry, but to say the two didn't appear to get alone would be wrong. Mike gets thrashed regardless and we find out he's stopped doing his favourite passtime. All the games he owns are two players. We'd probably have to assume they also reminded him of her too.

I'd be confident that Lucy would've attempted to reconcile more had the right moment and opportunity arise. But we wouldn't get that chance, as when Sandy re-enters the frame, we see a transformation in Mike. The hours and laughter before becoming meaningless in no shortage of time. The hard-wire is back in place.

We understand the origin of this change in no shortage of time through the next few pages as a glimpse into the past when Mike is telling Sandy about his day on two occassions, and Sandy becoming upset and distraught upon learning that Mike is being hurt by a friend. Mike takes this to heart.

It's a few chapters later we would understand this to have been a misunderstanding on Mike's behalf, as Sandy would have only really meant that he would've talked it out with Lucy.

But Mike had reflected on his relationship with Lucy during that time and would find that he was in an unhealthy and toxic relationship. Lucy had not been a good friend in all instances and resolves to cut her out as much as he could. He's within his reason to believe this given the times that Lucy had been pretty terrible, but at the same time Mike had volunterily suppressed the times when Lucy wasn't. More on that a litte later.

Towards the end of December, Mike unleashes hell for years of anguish. You would feel it deserved and justified, and while it could be from Mike's perspective, from our own we know Lucy had been trying as hard not to resembe what she had been like previously. Regardless, the friendship gets severed.

The first real opportunity to set things right would arise in the very same chapter when Sandy asks Mike to talk it out with Lucy.

Mike turns back twice in this chapter. The first one from his own will. The second when Lily begs him to leave, knowing he's hurt her.

The thing to note is Mike's pained expression in the very bottom of the page, he's forcing himself to do this knowing his perspective. But this attempt, if it would've helped doesn't go ahead, as Lily asks him to leave. He does.

The first real attempt to comes in Curtain Call, but it's only after Lucy graces him during the play, Mike suddenly remembers a moment from their childhood between them, and this becomes the main motivator for him to try and repair the damage from December.

It would be too late though by this point as the gears were in motion for Lucy to move.

And Lucy would attempt to take her life at this sudden twist in fate.

So, you're probably wondering why go back through all that? Well, the time between Curtain Call and Love again is the duration of Lucy absence and the next attempt for Mike to apologise. Mike attempts to talk to her in the next chapter after Love Again, Unspoken Rule.

We don't immediately understand until much later that during the entirity of Lucy's return she's been ascertaining who is really a friend to her. Towards Mike, there's a particular side of indifference because she really doesn't know if Mike wants them to be friends again.

When we come to Mike during the dodgeball, hearing David say the whole purpose of the class is to simply beat people up, well, there's an involuntary memory.

Mike is resigned to losing as Lucy takes very much everyone down. But becomes agitated as Lucy drags the game on. The PE teacher is pretty accurate when she calls out the mindgame.

For most of the duration of her return Lucy is judging the character of those around her and testing out various predictions. We can be pretty sure Lucy letting Mike take the initiative between their showdown was one of those. Whether the freakout was anticipated or not, we can see here that something about Lucy is clearly still biting with Mike.

Mike tracking her down at the end of the day comes with a mixture of emotions; we are fairly sure he feels guilty after learning what happened to Lucy in Breaking up. He felt that guilt back at the dodgeball game too and wanted her to hurry up and get it over with. He might have been prepared to lose if it would've meant something towards that guilt.

The problem though is the meaning behind the guilt, because the one that obviously matters to Lucy is not the one Mike's concerned himself with. She's more concerned with what he meant back then in December. Mike doesn't have the answer to it.

Well, actually, he did have an answer, but he wouldn't admit it; it's Sandy.

Lucy denied Mike a chance at apologising back in Unspoken Rule because his apology would've been worthless at that point in time. There is much more meaning when Lucy tells him 'When it comes to Sandy, it's only ever about her. Friend or not.' We've seen this play out a number of times, especially when Mike was starting to lose his mind and the others who found themselves getting in the way of him and Sandy are either assaulted or accosted when doing so.

Friend...

...or not, as Augustus was expecting it too and makes a point of that when he confronts Mike over his failing relationships.

Had Mike gone through with the apology, it wouldn't have been too different from how Mike felt about his relationship with Lucy back in the day - it's got strings attached. We could also bet pretty hard that Lucy would've found herself being wronged in some fashion, because she's right; when Sandy's involved, Mike is completely untenable, it's only about Sandy. She's the biggest threat to their relationship, because one way or another, Mike would find a reason to taken out his frustrations and insecurities out on her. It wouldn't be too much different from the way she treated him back in hid middleschool years. The cycle would've repeated.

Mike also is incapable of seeing past his own hatred of Lucy because that keeps him tied to Sandy. It stops the guilt of him feeling like a cheater because he knows that Lucy is interested in him. He needs to hate her.

We saw a number of times when even Mike had to begrudgingly admit he was wrong and while Lucy did have her moments when she had been insufferable, there had been many of those when the opposite had been true and Lucy had been a friend; being both supportive of him and Sandy and their relationship.

Mike just convinced himself otherwise.

Looking far back to the very start of things, deep down I don't believe Mike had ever been as bothered by Lucy's abraisive nature. Sure, it could've been better, but I don't feel like he really saw their relationship like a duty until the conversation with Sandy. If it had ever really been the case, his delivery to Sandy over the phone would've been much more pained and antgonistic towards Lucy knowing that fact. Instead he's laughing about it and downplaying all the bad parts. That isn't to say that it's fine; the relationship wasn't healthy in the least. It might even just be his way of coping because he's a pushover. But Mike isn't as bothered about it as he should be, and the evidence for this is really because Lucy made up for her shortcomings in other ways for the relationship to have continued purpose (outside of him receiving support about their relationship when Sandy can't be contacted) and that's why he's able to (and try to) down-play it during his phone conversations. There had been times when Lucy had been good to him, and it's not just because of her own support. It's because she can be capable of being a good friend.

And that softspot for her absolutely exists in the story and showed up from time to time. His guard dropped in December, I don't think Mike would've given her the leniency he did to even think about entertaining her thought of passing the first couple of hours with video game had it still been absolute seething hate. The only reason is because in that small period of time; he forgot about Sandy.

Not to mention if it really had been seething hate, Lucy's 'nightmare form' wouldn't resemble what we saw in Dial Tone either. Instead we saw a different side, so Mike really doesn't actually hate her. It's just he feels he needs to.

But yeah, Lucy wouldn't let him apologise back then because it would've been worthless. So long as Sandy remained a factor, Mike was just untenable and the friendship wouldn't last; they'd hurt each other somehow.

When it comes to Eternal Flame and Lucy saying she isn't the kind of person to wish the worst on him. She's really telling the truth, even when she's been wronged by Mike, because in DoubleDown when Paulo grants her the opportunity to get revenge on him by kicking him out of the table. She doesn't take it.

I definitely feel like it's time to move past how Lucy appeared in the original story and accept the Omnibus. You're not being forced to sympathise with Lucy, but man, you should. She's done some pretty questionable shit in the story -- but she's a kid, a kid with some pretty deep personal trust issues, and some that've yet to be dealt with. And she doesn't have the answers. We've seen some of those bite her back in more ways than one, we only need to look at the fallout of her relationship with Paulo as an example of that.

Shit, I hope that all helped, Eternal Flame anon? I'm gonna go collapse in bed now.

[lacefuneral]

no one asked but i try to be educational about my experiences with transness when i can, and today i'm thinking abt my top surgery

(surgery description, nipples, me being kind of tmi)

ok so i had a double-incision top surgery, which is the top surgery most frequently depicted in artwork and spoken about.

when i had top surgery i didn't know (or care) about alternative surgeries. i knew about keyhole, which i did not qualify for on account of my massive tits (not a humblebrag)

i did not know about T anchor, which is a surgery that leaves the exact same scars as double incision, plus an additional vertical scar leading from the bottom of the nipple to the scar below it, forming an upside down T shape.

the primary difference, aside from scarring, is that T anchor leaves the nipples intact. the extra incision allows the surgeon to move the nipples to where they should be on the chest without cutting into the stem. meaning, the likelyhood of retaining FULL sensation is greatly increased

whereas with double incision, the nipples have to be cut off of your body, trimmed, and grafted back on in the correct place.

the result is unpredictable, and this is an instance where "your milage may very" is EXTREMELY apt. because some people have full sensation. some people have none. some people have one or both nipples fall off during the healing process (usually as a result of not properly caring for them) - it's um. it's wild. a lot of stuff going on there, with nipple grafts.

because, yeah, you can go to the best surgeon in the world, and that increases your chances of success. but then it also comes down to: how well does your body heal - and - are you putting in the work to make sure that you aren't disturbing the stitches, changing your bandages properly, keeping the incision sites clean, etc. and then the final factor is time.

i had surgery in april of 2016. my nipples survived the ordeal, although they look very different from one another. the right nipple looks like a real nipple, while the left looks more like it was formed from areola tissue. i do not know the story, nor do i want to. (the thought of my surgeon fucking up in the operating room distresses me, so i'd rather not think about it)

i had no sensation in my chest anywhere for at least a year. over time, i gradually gained sensation in different areas. for a long time, the sensation meant for my nipples were somehow misdirected to my surgical scars. i would say that at least some of that feeling remains there now. obviously ask first, but your man may enjoy having his scars rubbed when he's healed up. just a T4T tip from me 2 u.

anyway, the nipples themselves had NO sensation at all. for YEARS. and then (and sorry, this is gross) in 2021, i noticed that my left nipple appeared to have some sort of cyst or zit. now, i have OCD. and more specifically, dermatillomania. so after i dealt with the left side, i looked at the right to see if there was anything similar. i squeezed the nipple in various areas, only to realize that, as i continued, i was in PAIN.

and i was so, so ecstatic about this. because i realized that i could help the nerves wake up by stimulating the area. my right nipple now has full sensation, or something close to that.

my left, though? there's a marked difference. hardly any sensation at all, even in my attempts to "wake it up." so i'm not getting my hopes up about it, especially because it is made from different breast tissue than the right.

but yeah, while sensation isn't 100% where it was prior to surgery, my chest overall does have feeling when i touch it.

and also, despite the left nipple being, in my mind, "pretty much dead", it still reacts to temperature and touch in the way you would expect a nipple to. so it "knows" it's a nipple. and i think that's really weird? cool?

this has been jay's nipple corner

[ruinconstellation]

Assembled recent fic recs

KinnPorsche: The Series

reignite by lusn. 2.3k oneshot, post-canon Nampheung POV. Rating: T, no warnings.

Namphueng has been endlessly dreaming. She can only tell because for the first time in years, she might finally be awake.

on the rocks by DasWarSchonKaputt. 16k wip (currently 1/7 chapters), KinnPorscheTay starting pre-canon. Rating: E, creator chose not to use archive warnings.

Tay finds the bar because he’s pissed, heart-broken, and sick of people recognising him when he’s trying to forget who he is.

checkmate by majestictortoise. 73k series wip (currently 5/8 planned works), romance and gen including three main canon pairings, set post-canon. Rating: M, no archive warnings apply.

"And I think," Pete said, "both you and Vegas think that your fathers succeeded with each other." He rolled his head to the side and smiled at Kinn. "But you're both wrong. And that's a good thing."

The Sandman (TV 2022)

and in the waking world we wait and want by qqueenofhades. 125k wip (currently 11/? chapters), pre-canon Dream/Hob, very historically focused. Rating: M, warning: graphic depictions of violence.

“Did I hear you say,” the pale stranger asks, “that you have no intention of ever dying?”

Hob Gadling shrugs. No point in denying it.

“Yeah.”

Original Work

The Beldam & the Baronet (Or, The Magician Debutante's Trials & Tribulations) by dwellingondreams. 77k wip (currently 18/? chapters), gen-focused with romance also, Victorian setting, magic and sorcery. Rating: G, no archive warnings apply.

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single woman in possession of a prodigious magical talent, must be in want of a husband.

Fox’s Tongue and Kirin’s Bone by MuffinLance. Long wip (currently 69/? chapters) not hosted on ao3, very gen-focused, dragons and doppelgangers. Rating: G or T, no archive warnings apply.

Humanity is dying, hunted to extinction by creatures of legend. One boy was born to save them all.

That boy just got knifed in the back. He looked a bit too much like Aaron, you see.

Now it’s Aaron’s job to step up, lest his Death correct that little mix-up. But Aaron’s skills as a street rat run more towards stealing and stabbing than towards saving. And the more he learns of what brought dear dead Markus to that fatal alleyway, the more he has to wonder just what the world’s savior was really up to the night the wrong boy died.

MDZS / The Untamed (TV)

Courage was my companion by Erisette. 127k, aro-ace JC/MianMian relationship in the middle years. 

Mianmian almost thought she’d gotten away with it with her dignity completely intact, until she found herself on the floor of her small room in tears because she didn’t have any outer robes that weren’t yellow.

cast your bitterness into the sea by Kilerkki. 62k wip (currently 9/12 chapters), Jiang Cheng x OC Wen sect leader. Rating: M, no archive warnings apply.

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single woman who has just overthrown her megalomaniac brother and taken control of his sect, must be in want of a husband.

Keep Track of Losing Days by giraffeter. 75k, modern wangxian, mystery. Rating: T, no archive warnings apply.

Lan Wangji is a police detective who's rapidly falling in love with his antifa activist neighbor, Wei Ying — until Wei Ying disappears, and Lan Wangji and his hotheaded partner, Nie Mingjue, are assigned the Missing Persons case. Now Lan Wangji is in a race against time to find a man who seems to have disappeared without a trace, while trying to keep his feelings a secret from everyone around him (and maybe, if he has time, convince his brother to break up with his creepy boyfriend and date Wangji's partner instead).

Wei Ying is mixed up in something dangerous. Lan Wangji is going to find him.

Naruto

ANBU Legacy by Kilerkki, Nezuko, saunterleftside, others. Fic-focused blog, main fic website for full access, as it is not yet all posted to ao3. Present ao3 wordcount is 500k, but total of entire story is at least twice or thrice that. Very gen-focused, also with romance. Main characters are Hatake Kakashi, Namiashi Raidou, Shiranui Genma, and OCs Tousaki Ryouma and Ueno Katsuko, and other canon and original characters later gaining prominence. Rating: E, graphic descriptions of violence.

Approximately four years after the Yondaime defeated the Kyuubi, watch the young men and women of ANBU, who take the vow to defend their Hokage and the village at all costs.

James Bond

Echoes from the Crossed Wires by TriffidsandCuckoos. 2.6k oneshot, various relationships, time-seeing Q. Rating: T, no archive warnings apply.

If he needs a label – and really, why should he, when he hardly intends to inform anybody of the fact – then a more appropriate one would be a time-viewer (or, as it can feel, a time-voyeur).

Good Omens

my words are growin' stronger, and my legs keep gettin' longer by weekend_conspiracy_theorist. 35k, post-canon trans Warlock Dowling, gen. Rating: T, no archive warnings apply.

Warlock Dowling is disillusioned with the magic of her childhood, uncomfortable in social situations, and skeptical of the existence of ghosts. 

Or: what's it like, to be the Chosen One but not to BE the Chosen One? (Especially when one is also eighteen, trans, a lesbian, and a witch.)

Harry Potter

Heal Thyself by astolat. 47k, post-canon healer Draco, drarry. Rating: T, no archive warnings apply.

"Are you going for the course?" Lovegood asked. "You have the NEWTs.”

“What course?” Draco said, then, “No, don’t be ridiculous,” when he realized she meant the notice pinned up on the board he’d been staring at: Applicants To The Introductory Mediwizard Course For The Coming Term Shall Present Themselves In The Chief Mediwizard’s Office By August 24th.

“Oh, I thought you might,” she said. “Well, goodbye.” And off she wandered again in her addled way.

BNHA

not all heroes wear capes by JoWithTheFlow. 38k series (main work complete), gen-focused with prior canon divergence. Rating: T, no archive warnings apply.

“I bullied another kid so much he jumped off the roof of our middle school,” Bakugou said, so suddenly that Shouto actually paused to look at him.

Shouto considered. There wasn’t really a good way to respond to a statement like that. That’s pretty horrible of you. Maybe you shouldn’t have done that. Why the hell would you care enough about another person to actually actively bully them? He decided on, “That’s pretty fucked up.”

Beyond the Broken Horizon by JoWithTheFlow. 239k wip (currently 44/? chapters), mainly gen-focused, Izuku as a Shiketsu student. Rating: T, warning: graphic depictions of violence.

About a week after that, All Might asked Izuku if he was aiming for the hero course at UA. The question was so sudden that Izuku nearly dropped a microwave on his toes.

The truth was, if All Might had asked him that a week ago, there would have only been one possible answer to that question. All Might had gone to UA, UA was the best, so Izuku was going to go there too, if he could. But things were a little different, now that he was going to receive All Might’s Quirk.

[quoteablebooks]

Genre: Fiction, Young Adult, Fantasy,

Rating: 4 out of 5

Content Warning: Death, Blood, Grief, Toxic relationship, Body horror, Self harm, Sexual content, Vomit, Death of parent

Summary:

Ninth House meets A Deadly Education in this gorgeous dark academia fantasy following a teen mage who must unravel the truth behind the secret society that may have been involved in her classmates’ deaths.

Emory might be a student at the prestigious Aldryn College for Lunar Magics, but her healing abilities have always been mediocre at best—until a treacherous night in the Dovermere sea caves leaves a group of her classmates dead and her as the only survivor. Now Emory is plagued by strange, impossible powers that no healer should possess.

Powers that would ruin her life if the wrong person were to discover them.

To gain control of these new abilities, Emory enlists the help of the school’s most reclusive student, Baz—a boy already well-versed in the deadly nature of darker magic, whose sister happened to be one of the drowned students and Emory’s best friend. Determined to find the truth behind the drownings and the cult-like secret society she’s convinced her classmates were involved in, Emory is faced with even more questions when the supposedly drowned students start washing ashore— alive —only for them each immediately to die horrible, magical deaths.

And Emory is not the only one seeking answers. When her new magic captures the society’s attention, she finds herself drawn into their world of privilege and power, all while wondering if the truth she’s searching for might lead her right back to Dovermere…to face the fate she was never meant to escape.

*Opinions*

This was an impulse purchase. I went into my local indie bookstore to get a little treat, but I didn’t have a specific book in mind. The cover caught my attention immediately, but after reading the description I thought this story would be right up my alley. Luckily, I was correct. While I can see why some people DNF’ed or gave this book a low rating, I enjoyed the world that Lacelle created and how the story slowly unfolded around Emory and Baz. If you are interested in a fast-paced novel, this will not be for you, but if you like world-building and character studies, I think you should give it a try. 

Curious Tides is told in duel POV between Emory Ainslef and Basil Brysden, both students at Aldryn College for Lunar Magics, who are returning after a tragedy that claimed Emory’s best friend and Basil’s sister, Rosemary Brysden, the spring before. Emory’s healing magic feels different and she is sure that there is a reason behind why her friend was in Dovermere in the first place, a cave that is known for being dangerous. However, as Emory digs deeper into the mystery, she finds out that she did not leave Dovermere unchanged and her magic that was mediocre before now is something extraordinary. She will need Baz’s help to keep her new magical powers secret while also learning how to infiltrate the secret society that Romie had become a part of. When students believed to be dead start showing up on the beach, it becomes harder for Emory to hide what she is and the time is running out to figure out what happened to Romie. Can Emory keep her forbidden magic hidden and her heart intact while Baz fights against his fear of losing control of his magic and ending up locked up like his father?

This is a very slow-moving book in terms of plot. There is a lot of information and exciting events at the very beginning of the novel and the last 150 pages are action-packed, but the middle of the novel is more character than plot-focused. That isn’t a problem for me because I enjoy character work, but I can see why a lot of people DNF’d the book. I loved taking time throughout the semester with Emory and Baz, learning how the magic in this world operated and the college itself. There is also the secondary plot of what is happening with the Eclipse-born magic users at the Institute, which I enjoyed being woven into everything that is happening with Emory. I enjoyed the plot at the heart of his novel, but this book would be a lot shorter if it had been the main focus of the novel.  

I am obsessed with Aldryn College for Lunar Magics, where we spend most of the time in this novel. Every description that was given for the different libraries, especially the Waxing Moon library, I was eating up with a spoon. The different skills that each moon phase gave the magic users were rich and descriptive. It is obvious that Lacelle put a lot of thought into this world and how every part of it operated. The creation story with the different phases of the moon and the Shadow along with the tale of The Drowned Gods, all of it made the world feel very real and rich. I would have liked to see more of the world outside of the school, but with so much already happening in the novel it would have been a bit too much. 

Emory is an interesting main character because she starts as a typical YA protagonist, a wallflower who finds out that she is the specialist girl to ever special. I think what stops her from being annoying is her determination to find out what happened to Romie and do what she needs to do to find out. There is a lot of guilt and doubt that is portrayed well in my opinion. Emory transforms from a girl who is always in her best friend's shadow to learning how to deal with people wanting something from her, for better or worse. While I liked her as a character, I found Baz a lot more interesting in complex. 

Basil Brysden is the only member of the Elipse House after the other student, Kai, collapsed the semester before. Baz has been shunned because of his Elipse magic since he was a child, but even more so when his father Collapsed and killed three other people when it happened. Since then, Baz has been scared to use his magic and is interested in becoming a professor to help other Elipse-born live without the fear of Collapsing. Throughout the novel, however, Baz goes from being a scared and timid man into someone taking control of his power and his life. While Emory’s POV was usually pushing the plot forward, I enjoyed every time I was in Baz’s POV. 

The romance in this novel is interesting because I wouldn’t consider it a love triangle because Emory very clearly wants Kierian, but what is going on between her and Baz is interesting and complex. While Kierian’s romance took the beats that you would expect from it and a mysterious man in a mysterious society, I did enjoy experiencing the excitement of that relationship with Emory. However, her relationship with Baz went from using him to teaching her, then being friends, then possibly being more and I am not sure if I want them to end up together or not. While I would love Baz and Emory to be together, I really enjoy the dynamic between Baz and Kai. As the series continues it will be interesting to see how this complex web works out in the end. 

Overall, I really enjoyed my time with this novel, but I can see how it might not be for everyone. You need to expect to take the time to settle into the world and the characters or you will find this slow-paced and boring. With how this novel ended I will especially be picking up the second novel to see where Lacelle takes this story. A 4 star read. 

[littlemissnoname13]

Hello can I request where draco in fourth year having a crush on a hufflepuff reader but acts as arsehole cuz he doesn’t know how to show affection , leading it to her avoiding him which makes him depressed about what did he do wrong ?

Hi love. Thanks for the request.💕

I love writing Draco x hufflepuff!reader stories! I am a sucker for a slytherin x hufflepuff pairing.

I added a few extra details here and here. Hope you like it. X

Hopeful (Draco Malfoy x Hufflepuff!Reader)

Word count: 2100 sorry got a bit carried away. 😅

Warnings: None. Soft!Draco being an absolute blubbering idiot.

Draco’s thoughts are written in green

Spring had arrived. 

It could be felt in the cool and gentle zephyr that made the shiny new leaves on top of the once barren and dead trees rustle. 

Daisies were in full bloom and the wind had managed to carry some of the petals away—making them fall to the ground, acting like a harbinger of the fast approaching summer. 

Draco couldn’t be bothered if it was spring, or autumn or winter. 

In that particular moment, all he wanted to do was get away from the Slytherin common room and Pansy Parkinson. 

He had taken her to the Yule ball and things had sort of fizzled out afterwards. He couldn’t get himself to see her as anything other than a friend. 

Having ran all the way to a far and secluded area of the Hogwarts grounds, Draco leaned against a tree trunk and panted heavily in an attempt to catch his breath. 

“Are you—are you alright?” 

Your voice startled him and he quickly stood up straight to look around. 

You were sitting criss-crossed on the grass with your transfigurations textbook opened on your lap. Your shirt sleeves were rolled up and your yellow and black tie hugged very loosely around your neck. 

“Fine.” He muttered as he slowly sat down noticing a single daisy tucked behind your ears. 

After sitting there in complete silence for the next few minutes, he finally spoke up. 

“What are you even doing here anyway?” 

“Just wanted some peace and quiet to be honest.” You said, shrugging your shoulders. “It’s a beautiful day.” 

Draco just hummed in response and kept staring at the daisy in your hair that swayed lightly with the breeze. 

“What?” You asked when you noticed. 

“You have—you have a twig stuck in your hair.” 

“A daisy.” You corrected him as you closed your book and moved a bit closer to where he was sitting. “It’s a daisy.” 

“Yeah I know that. I’m not stupid.” He said quickly. “But why?” 

"Well, Daisies are essentially two flowers blended together in complete harmony." You said pulling the daisy out of your free falling hair before putting your hand forward to hand it to him. 

“And?” Draco reluctantly took the flower from you and blinked his eyes in confusion. 

“They are said to resemble innocence—true love even.”  You explained getting comfortable next to him.

“You believe in all that?” Draco scoffed, twirling the flower between his index finger and thumb. He couldn’t tell if the floral fragrance was coming from you or the air but it made him slightly queasy nonetheless. 

“Merlin. No.” You scrunched up your nose. “It just gives me hope I guess.” 

Draco gave you another hum in response. For someone who came up with snarky and sometimes witty comments on the spot, he found himself weirdly tongue tied. 

“I know you were hiding from Pansy by the way.” You remarked, making a small smile pull at his lips. 

“How come?”

“What do you mean how come?” You rolled your eyes. “Everyone can see that she is obsessed with you for some reason that I personally can't seem to comprehend.” 

~~~~~

The next day during potions class, Draco slowly opened his book and started to absently doodle on it with his quill while Snape talked about the upcoming potions essay that had to be done in pairs. 

Draco knew he should be paying attention but he just couldn’t get the interaction between you two out of his head. 

And just when he took a deep breath and decided to focus, a familiar scent started to fill his lungs up. 

Fruity, almost spicy notes of strawberry and pink grapefruit mixed with gardenias, vanilla and musk. It felt like someone had tossed a huge bouquet into the room. 

He knew it was you without even bothering to look up from my book. 

"Ah, Miss y/l/n. Late again." Snape muttered. “Five points from Hufflepuff house.” 

You quietly sat down next to your friend with your head hung low and Draco fought an unexplainable urge to give you a hug. 

"The essay must be done in pairs.." Snape said.

Great. 

"Ronald Weasley and Gregory Goyle." 

This is exactly what I needed right now. Thanks Snape. 

"Blaise Zabini and Hannah Abott." 

The last thing I need is someone weighing my essay down. 

"Draco Malfoy and y/n y/l/n." 

What? 

You turned back to look at Draco and gave him  an apologetic smile and he didn't understand why you kept smiling at him. It's not like the both of you had suddenly formed an unlikely bond with each other. 

Draco scowled at you in return and quickly raised his hand. "May I work on my essay alone?" 

"No. You may not Mr. Malfoy."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You and Draco had been studying in the library for almost an hour. Because you were quietly sitting next to him, his elbows and knees slightly brushed yours every few seconds and as much as he hated to admit it, He secretly enjoyed it. 

Contrary to yesterday, Draco was trying very hard to make a conversation with you. You seemed somewhat offended that he had asked Snape to work on the essay alone. 

“I am happy to do most of the writing if you can look up all the ingredients.” You offered.

You don’t have to do all of that yourself. I am happy to help with the writing too. Is what he should have said. 

“Fine whatever.” He said instead as he reached for a copy of One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi. 

That night, Draco stayed up tossing and turning in his bed before giving up on getting any sleep for the night. 

He lethargically walked towards his dresser and put his hands in his blazer pocket pulling out the now dried and pressed daisy from the other day. 

Taking a deep breath, he put the flower in between the pages of his copy of One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi. 

You were drawing him in, undoing him, unraveling him even. 

He knew that. 

But did you?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Draco! Open up." 

His head jolted towards the door and He quickly walked over to open it. 

You stood on the other end with books tucked in your arms, wearing your denim shorts and a plain white tank top—looking like summer personified. 

The more time he spent with you, the more he started to notice your quirks. Like that the way your skin glowed as the days got warmer. 

Compliment her. Do it. It’s not Difficult. 

“Did you do something different to your hair?” 

“Uh—no why are you asking.” 

“It just looks a bit strange.” He commented wanting to slap himself. 

"Okay, well are you going to let me in?" You questioned, wondering why he was blocking the way and asking you about your hair. 

Why did you have to wear that God damned tank top-

"Sorry?" You asked stepping inside making his cheeks burn when he realized he wasn’t meaning to say that out loud. 

"Just shut up and get back to working in the essay or whatever it is that you were doing." Draco grumbled feeling embarrassed as he grabbed some fresh parchment. 

Okay. Focus. The Strengthening solution requires...

You stretched a little and pushed your hair away from your face. 

several days to mature...

"Staring is rude Draco." You suddenly interrupted his thoughts as you set your eyes on his—peering right into his soul.

Draco felt like he was giving you some sort of power over him and the possibility of you using that power and leaving him heartbroken made him feel so very vulnerable.

He couldn't take the vulnerability a second longer.

 "I don't think we should study together anymore." He blurted quickly standing up. “It's for the best.”

"Huh?" You stood up contorting your face in total confusion—wondering just what you had done to piss him off. "What's wrong Draco? Did I do something wrong?" 

"Leave. Now." He muttered with his teeth clenched. 

Please don’t go.

"Just go—leave please."

You couldn’t help but feel a sharp sting burning your insides as you gathered all the books that were on the floor and ran made your way towards hufflepuff dormitories with tears threatening to flood your eyes. 

As soon as you ran off, he punched his wall and muttered out the plethora of angry curses when the impact bruised his knuckles.

~~~~~~~~~~~

During the following week, Draco failed to show up to any of your shared classes after you had refused to talk to him after what happened. 

Even if you did manage to see him walking down the halls or walking with Crabbe and Goyle, you noticed that he looked like he hadn’t eaten or slept in days. 

On a Tuesday, Draco looked at the Hufflepuff table during breakfast and when you caught his eye, all you did was look away. 

Everyone at school had their opinions about him—most of them weren’t good opinions. 

But when you were with him under that tree, he seemed different. His smirk was more playful than condescending. It managed to charm you in a way. 

You took a final bite of your toast and gathered all your books, walking to your Potions class. 

His seat still remained empty and you shook your head, trying to snap away from the thoughts of him as you flipped open your book. 

Only it wasn’t your book. 

You didn’t remember writing on the margins and making annotations on your book. 

Running your fingertips along the pages, you flipped to the very first page of the book. 

D. Malfoy was written in ridiculously neat handwriting and you shook your head when you realized that you had grabbed his book with you that day by mistake. 

And just when you were about to put his book away, something fell from in between the pages and fell onto your desk. 

It was the daisy you had woven into your hair the other day. Even in its dried state, the petals remained intact like her had done something to keep them that way.

When class was finally over, you made a quick beeline towards the slytherin dungeons, bumping into people along the way. 

~~~~~~~~~

“Some hufflepuff girl is standing outside the dungeons asking to see you.” Theo shrugged when he saw Draco at the common room sofa. “Says it's urgent.” 

He felt terrified yet so elated as he quickly stood up and made his way outside. 

“Here’s your book.” You said taking a step towards him. “You never told me what’s wrong by the way.” 

“Thank you.” Draco quickly took his book from you and stared at the ground. 

“Why did you stop talking to me y/n?”

“You told me to go away—If I remember correctly.” You said shaking your head at him. “Tell me Draco, what’s wrong?”

“Everything.” He said quietly, meeting your gaze. 

"What do you mean?" 

"You make me feel all weak.....and smiley...and I hate it." He looked at you with agitation.

"Weak?" You ran your  fingers through your hair in confusion. 

"And your ridiculous white tank top." Draco half yelled. 

"What's wrong with my top?" You asked, raising your voice slightly as if you had had enough of this. 

"Nothing is wrong except for the fact that you look stunning in it.” He blurted involuntarily. "It is absolutely distracting when one is trying to study!." 

He watched you open your mouth in shock and close it. Before he could spend another minute trying to solve the riddle that was your expression, you grabbed him by his tie and placed your lips on his. 

His brows furrowed as he kissed you back tenderly. Tasting the sweetness of your lips—pouring out every bit of suppressed passion and adoration he felt for you with his lips.

There was something so strange and euphoric about finally kissing someone he had been longing to kiss for so long. 

Something so magical about holding the person that fits perfectly into his arms. 

Freaking Finally. 

He was slightly disappointed when you slowly backed away, but the glow on your skin and the glossy ness in your eyes made him smile. 

"I guess I'll leave before I realize the consequences of what I have just done." You said softly as you held his face and placed a small peck on his lips.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next day, you found a tiny box and an envelope on your desk when you woke up. Your roommate let you know that Draco Malfoy had stopped by late last night when you were asleep and half begged and half threatened her to leave the box on your desk. 

You slowly opened the box and found a bedazzled and whimsical looking daisy necklace, encrusted with gems.  

A Daisy for my daisy. 

You give me hope.

- D.M

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Draco Taglist: @dracomalfoyisindahouse @dracomalfoys-wh0re @maybesandohnos @justfangirlthingies @desiredmalfoy @dlmmdl @trainintersection @fa-me @dracoswhore007 @paulina1998 @wh0re4blaise @marrymetheonott @quacksonsssandtea @letoof @rvaldez7569 @loloo22 @emma67 @berriemalfoy @thegaudess @itchywitch33 @louweasleymalfoy @lunar0se10 @savagelysarcasticslytherin @fleursbabe @teawineaddict @thebitchybeatle @malfoyxxdraco23 @fantasyfairysworld @trashyvicks @h0ggyw0ggyh0gwarts @l0vely-lupin @linasylveon @amwitherspoon @the-bisexual-bitch

Love you all sm. (if i was unable to tag you, please look into your privacy settings)

Fell free to send me reuests. My other stories can be found here.

Join my taglist here.

- violet-Anne

[khayrrilrainxwells]

Don't Drink Again

Harry Wells X Reader

Summary: The reader is drunk, and she forget the most important thing in her life.

A/N: Please note that I have made some minor changes to this story, adding extra details and emotions to enhance the reading experience while keeping the core plot intact. Enjoy the sweet twists and amplified character emotions!

Warning: Angts and fluf

You woke up in your workshop the next morning, still feeling the effects of the alcohol. The memories of last night's party were hazy as you tried to recall what had happened. As you stumbled out of bed, your feet touched the cold concrete floor of the Star Labs corridor. The headache intensified, and you longed for the festivities to continue. Confusion washed over you as you saw your friends gathered in the cortex, seemingly engaged in a serious discussion.

"Hey, party people! Where's the party?" you slurred, swaying back and forth in the entrance of the cortex.

Your intoxicated state drew all eyes towards you, but you just flashed a smile and made your way to the monitors, hopping onto the table in the cortex.

"Still drunk, (Y/N)?" Barry asked, his brow raised in confusion.

"Drunk? Pffft... No!" you replied, closing your eyes for a moment.

"Mosquito... did you steal my drink? It's missing," you frowned at Cisco, purposely giving him a playful nickname.

"It's Cisco, not mosquito," Cisco corrected you, shooting you an annoyed look that you secretly found endearing.

"They're practically the same," you smirked.

"No, they're not," Cisco retorted, annoyed by your teasing.

"But seriously, where is my drink? The blue one?" you inquired, searching the room with bleary eyes.

Barry interrupted, asking, "What exactly did you drink last night before we left?"

"Before you all left? Did... did you all leave? Is the party already over?" you asked, feeling a bit lost.

"Dude, focus!" Cisco yelled, trying to snap you back to reality.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, I remember now!" you exclaimed.

"What?" Barry asked, curiosity piqued.

"I forget again," you said, closing your eyes briefly.

"Dude, wake up!" Cisco shook you, urging you to come back to your senses.

Opening your eyes, you saw Cisco looking at you expectantly. "Fine! The delicious drink that Caitlin was hiding in the med bay. Yeah, that's the one," you proudly declared.

"Wait, what!?" Caitlin exclaimed, her eyes narrowing at you.

"Easy, my friend. I'm okay," you reassured her, taking a deep breath before jumping off the table to grab another drink.

"Where are you going?" Barry questioned, concerned, as he grabbed your wrist.

"I need a drink," you insisted, trying to break free from Barry's hold.

"No, enough," Barry said, his grip firm.

"What?! No, Barry, I need more drink, please!" you pleaded, attempting to run away from his grasp.

"No, (Y/N), Harry will be mad at us," Cisco chimed in, hoping to deter you.

"Get up, Barry. We need to fix (Y/N) before Harry gets—" Cisco was cut off by someone clearing their throat. The team turned their heads to see Harry leaning against the door of the cortex, arms folded.

"What did you all do while I was gone?" Harry asked the team, his voice laced with bitterness.

"Shot," Cisco muttered under his breath, knowing they were in trouble.

Your heart skipped a beat at the sound of Harry's voice. You had developed a significant crush on the grumpy scientist since his arrival on Earth-1, but you never thought you'd have the chance to be close to him.

"Hey, Harry, how was your little trip to Earth-2?" you called out, trying to keep your voice light and cheery.

"It's Earth-2, and my daughter Jesse is doing fine," Harry responded, correcting your mistake.

"So, I'll ask you guys again, what did you all do to (Y/N)?" Harry asked, narrowing his gaze at each member of Team Flash.

"She accidentally drank Barry's alcohol that Caitlin made for him, so it's definitely Caitlin's fault," Cisco quickly pointed a finger at his friend.

"It's not my fault that she drank it. It's Barry's fault," Caitlin defended herself, pointing an accusing finger at the young speedster.

"What? Why me?" Barry protested, feeling slightly attacked.

"Dude, it was your idea to have a party in the cortex," Cisco reminded him, raising an eyebrow.

"But the reason we had the party was because we just defeated the freaking meta—" Barry tried to explain before Harry cut him off.

"Enough!" Harry's voice echoed through the room, silencing everyone.

Harry's frustration radiated through his words as he scolded the team. "Enough! It's all your faults."

Realizing the severity of the situation, Harry approached you and firmly grasped your wrist, pulling you towards the cortex exit.

"No... I don't want to sleep, Harry. I want more drink!" you protested, resisting his hold.

"No, you're not," Harry replied sternly, determination in his eyes.

You continued struggling against Harry's grip, desperately wanting to escape and find more alcohol. In your blurry vision, you noticed a glint on Harry's finger. Your heart sank as you realized he was wearing a ring. When did he get married? You couldn't recall any mention of it. Who was the lucky woman? Tears welled up in your eyes, and you felt a sense of loss wash over you. You had longed to tell Harry about your feelings, but it seemed too late now.

Harry noticed your teary eyes and questioned you with an annoyed tone, "What's your problem? Are you crying?"

"Y-You're engaged," you stammered, tears streaming down your face.

"What's the big deal if I am married?" Harry retorted, his voice laced with irritation.

"Because... because... never mind. Just leave me already," you said, defeated, as you slumped onto your bed.

"Hey, tell me," Harry's voice softened as he gently touched your shoulder, making you flinch at his touch.

"Because... it's too late to tell you that... that I love you, Harry Wells. I really, really love you. When you came to this Earth, I never thought I'd fall in love with you. I'm a coward. I wish I had told you about my feelings sooner... I wish I had confessed to you. But I was afraid you'd yell at me or push me away. I was afraid of rejection," you poured out your heart, your voice filled with vulnerability.

Finally, the words were out, but you felt a sense of futility. It seemed pointless now, knowing that Harry would live his life with someone else—the person he had married. You would have to go on living without him by your side.

Harry stood frozen, taking in everything you had just confessed. He exhaled deeply, closing his eyes for a brief moment to collect his thoughts. When he opened them, he saw you sitting on the bed, tears staining your face.

"I think you should go to sleep. You need to rest," Harry said, his voice tender, yet filled with concern.

"I don't want to sleep, Harry! I need more drink!" you protested, determined to continue drowning your sorrows.

"Where is your ring?" Harry pointed at your hand, his voice stern.

"What ring?!" you shouted back, confused.

"THE ONE I GAVE YOU WHEN I ASKED YOU TO MARRY ME!" Harry yelled, his frustration evident.

Harry abruptly stood up from the bed, walked toward you, and cupped your cheeks, closing the distance between the two of you. In an unexpected turn of events, he passionately kissed you, a mix of emotions flowing through the moment. When you finally pulled apart, gasping for air, Harry rested his forehead against yours and whispered softly.

"You need to rest, my love," Harry said, his eyes locked onto your beautiful (E/C) eyes. He cherished looking into your eyes; they brought him a sense of calm. As he broke away from the embrace, he glanced back at you, giving you a wink before heading to the door of your room.

"And don't drink again, Mrs. Wells," Harry said, a hint of playfulness in his tone as he made his way back to the cortex. You remained frozen in disbelief, questioning whether the effects of Barry's alcohol were playing tricks on your mind.

Harry entered the cortex, catching the attention of the team. He cleared his throat, narrowing his eyes at each member.

"Don't let (Y/N) drink again. She just freaking forgot that she's married to me. Is that clear?" Harry asserted, his gaze piercing.

All of Team Flash nodded, understanding the seriousness of Harry's request.

"Of course, Harry," Caitlin replied, her voice filled with sincerity.

"Yes," Barry chimed in, feeling a sense of responsibility.

"Aye, aye, Captain," Cisco quipped, flashing a mischievous smile at Harry.

Harry glared at Cisco, causing the young scientist to quickly retreat towards the exit of the cortex to grab some coffee.

"Harry, stop doing that. You scared him," Barry defended his friend, hoping to diffuse the tension.

"He's still afraid of me," Harry stated, a smirk playing on his lips as he observed the aftermath of his outburst.

[rayofsunas]

otherworldly! s/o

A/n: happy monday! I woke up at 7am and since then I've been grinding out assignments/classes and now this, so I actually feel productive even though I've been staring at my computer for a while. but thank you for requesting anon! I enjoyed writing this and I hope you enjoy reading it! <33 also to understand this more, I'd like to point out that this connects to the speculation Genshin and Honkai are alternate universes of one another. so for example, Scaramouche is a harbinger from his time, but he may have been a warlord in a different, with a completely different name (keeping his appearance ofc) hope that makes sense. so if you've paid attention to what I've been saying about Scara and his mini-series, etc. you'll understand what I mean in Scara's lol. his reader insert is fem for the same reason as above btw!

Summary: otherworldly! s/o who arrived as a fallen meteor, that can bring back plants to life/heal deep wounds/scars and resurrect people.

Parings: Albedo/Gn! Reader, Xiao/Gn! Reader, Scaramouche/Fem! Reader

Warnings: swearing, fluff, alternate realities/time traveler au! (reader is not the traveler), death/resurrection

Word count: 1.7k

Albedo

you don't have a vision like some people in Teyvat, because you're not from there; you're from a whole different world itself. instead, you have healing abilities that allow you to any energy you absorb in the form of food/sunlight, and you can use that energy to heal others. though, the healing can only go as far as healing minor injuries such as shallow cuts, scratches, or smoothing out scars. the same can work if you were to heal yourself.

Albedo is so intrigued when he finds you passed out in the pit of a meteor, half of your body hanging out while the other is awkwardly still in it

one, because who is this stranger in a meteor for crying out loud

and two, he notices your wounds on your arms are healing by themselves, slowly though

as someone who studies alchemy, life forms, and such, he's very intrigued that you're able to heal yourself without medicine, and he wonders if you can do the same to others

so he takes you to his lab, and runs a few tests

yes, you're still passed out when this happens, but he's just so curious and couldn't hold back

don't worry though, he's just drawing some blood and testing to see what you can do, because who knows, you may not even speak his language and won't be able to communicate with him (doesn't make a difference Albedo, you need COnSENT-)

so, just for science, he cuts the palm of his hand a little and decides to see if you can heal him

it doesn't take him long to notice the way the tips of your fingers are glowing a light greenish-yellow, so he immediately assumes that's the source of your powers and places a finger on his palm

it takes a second before anything happens, but eventually his cut starts to slowly close

once again he's even more shocked and intrigued

you have the natural ability and he's never come across someone with so much raw strength being able to do that

so you're right up his alley

when you wake up you're confused as hell (obviously) but thankfully, you can speak his language and are able to share your story

Albedo decides to make a deal with you

he'll help you get home if you can educate him more about your ability and your homeland. you agree

it works out perfectly, because you both have something the other needs/can do for the other (you have your power that he's interested in, and he's found a way for you to return home)

it's also easy to work together because of those same common interests, and it helps that he studies alchemy cause he's way more knowledgeable about you and the process can go a tiny bit quicker for you if you wish to return home sooner

at first you're merely friends, co-workers if you wish

but then he starts falling for you and vice versa

you both genuinely enjoy each others company, so you decide to stay in Teyvat a little while longer, even after he finds a way for you to go home

I wouldn't put it past Albedo to want to return to your world if you allow it

he'd be interested in this new or not so new world ;)

Xiao

you're like the traveler in a sense, where as soon as you climbed out of the meteor, you felt this connection to Teyvat and your vision randomly appeared. you have a dendro vision, something you learned was a rarity within liyue and mondstadt. along with that vision, you had the previous ability to grow/heal plants. you can bring back dead plants, though if they've been dead for a very long time, that's beyond your ability. they also can't be brought back if they've been badly burned.

Xiao may not be interested at first about what vision you have or even where you came from + why the hell you climbed out of a meteor

he's more interested in getting you home so you can stop asking questions about his own abilities/vision and odd, unfamiliar, but beautiful world

but boy when he catches you bringing back a wilted Glaze Lily?!? shook

he secretly thinks you're so cool and it piques his interest

he's never seen anyone do this before, and though his eyes were deceiving him when he first saw the lily spring to life again

but then when he catches you healing more plants, on your way to Liyue to hopefully find Zhongli for answers, he's so interested

he doesn't ask a crapload of questions, BUT he's going to ask at least one or two

"how're you doing that?"

"what are you?

the questions are kind of vague and require more in-depth explanations than he'd originally hoped, but he's surprisingly willing to listen to your story on the way to the harbor

after he learns your story and calls for Zhongli, he'll immediately leave and claim he has no further interests in you

but he's obviously lying

he finds as he's sitting on top of one the smaller mountains one night, looking down at the glowing Liyue town, he has more questions

way more questions

surprising Zhongli, Xiao shows appears when he's showing you around and getting you accustomed to the people/culture

he finds himself hoving behind you, shyly almost, never asking questions (at least not in Zhongli's presence

his reason for standing behind you is to protect you from any harm, so that way, when he decides to ask you more questions, you'll be there for him to do so and not dead or lost

when you tell Zhongli you'd wish to stay in Teyvat, specifically Liyue, Xiao is happy ngl

he can ask you questions and now that you're somewhat used to Liyue, having been here for four months already and planning to stay forever, he can catch you alone and ask questions without Zhongli hovering or acting as your tour guide lol

slowly, and I mean sluggishly slow, he's going to ask you more questions and he may, emphasis on may, tell you his own story

Scaramouche

you're from an alternate reality of Teyvat, a former doctor in your world. basically, Teyvat hundreds of years in the future. you've studied the human body to become a doctor obviously and you used to be able to bring back the dead using your bare hands. it didn't matter how far back ago they've died, as long as their full-body was still intact (full skeleton needed). though, the further back they died, the more energy you'd use, and if you run out of energy too soon, you couldn't bring them back. but now in this strange land, you can't. in exchange for your powers being lost, you're given an electro vision.

Scaramouche is tasked with finding out more about these odd meteors that keep appearing in various corners of Teyvat

and one very large one

he doesn't care who you are, what you are, what your excuse for being in Teyvat is, but he's been ordered to explore the fallen meteor and since you happened to be passed out inside it upon further exploration, you're part of the mystery he's been told to check out

and, it doesn't further help your situation that you landed in Snezhnaya, in the weirdest, not-so-warm clothing AND he finds you attractive (yes, you heard it here folks), plus you're going to catch hypothermia out here dressed like that

it would suck for a pretty girl such as yourself to be frozen to death

so Scaramouche decides to take you to the Tsaritsa, who leaves you in Scaramouche's care since he found you

she says he can do whatever he wants you, dispose of you, etc.

when you finally come too in an odd room on a couch in front of a fireplace, you're confused, cold as hell despite the flames, and when you see his face, you're immediately angered, which he finds odd

it's almost as if you recognize him... but he doesn't recognize you so he's confused as well

"what're you doing here?"

bold of you, he thinks. to question him with that tone as if you have authority here, over him

"watch yourself. I was going to ask you the same."

you don't seem too pleased with him though

"we agreed to never speak again, or so I thought..."

"are you stupid or are you just playing the stupid card to be released?" he'd say

though as soon as you burst and yell at him about a situation he's not familiar with, he's starting to understand a bit more

you're not from here, not anywhere in Teyvat at least, and by the way you're talking to him as if you know him, he assumed correctly that you're from an alternate reality, where he's also present

though despite his correct assumption, he demands answers and you cannot be allowed any kind of freedom until he gets them

you tell him your story and how in your world, a version of himself exists and that you were briefly married, though split because he was too much of a control/power freak for you and your daughter

he disagrees with the last part about him being a control/power freak ofc but

he decides he'll keep you around, against your wishes

one, because you can become useful if your resurrection abilities are awoken; you'd be able to save many fallen Fatui soldiers, with more training so you don't run out of energy ofc

and two, he doesn't think his other self would miss you very much if you're both on bad terms, he sure would miss such a pretty face if you were to leave though, that's for sure...

so, he's going to keep you around, so he can help train/get used to your electro vision. it works best that way since he has the same vision and can train you more efficiently (I think Scara has electro powers, just an assumption!)

he will also hopefully be able to awaken your resurrection abilities and if you can't, well then sorry you're disposable

overtime, all the Harbingers tease him about his little crush and he either denies it or strongly provokes it cause his ego is through his fucking hat

exhibit a. literally doesn't care that he's caught by childe staring at you train and will say something like, "and? you're just jealous she's not interested in you like she is me."

exhibit b. will throw a fit if someone accuses him and says he has, "no room for crushes or love." even if he was somewhat capable of it in your world...

3.22.21, rayofsunas

[rocorambles]

Realization

Pairing: Kyoutani x Reader, Iwaizumi x Reader (one-sided)

Genre: SFW, Coming to terms with feelings, Meet Ugly, Falling in Love, Slow Burn, Fluff

Prompt: Meet Ugly

Summary: There’s a difference between liking someone and liking the “idea” of someone.

A/N: This is for the HQHQ SFW Meet Ugly collab. Check out the masterlist here and be sure to read all the other talent-packed content on this list!

“Thanks for all your hard work.”

Your face heats, a flustered smile and giggle escaping you as you grin at Iwaizumi, heart soaring from his praise, chest constricting at how handsome he looks when his lips twitch upwards. It’s only a brief moment, but it means the world to you. You begin to bow in respect to your senpai, only to be cut short, both your heads sharply turning towards the gym door as it slams open with a loud bang.

And just like that, Kyoutani Kentarou has ruined your special moment as he determinedly stares at Iwaizumi who merely sighs at the familiar sight of the second-year. Funny how Kyoutani finds himself at the volleyball gymnasium more now that he’s left the team than when he actually used to be on it.

“Race me.”

You sympathetically smile at Iwaizumi before scurrying off to help put away the rest of the gym equipment as the ace begins to make his way towards his underclassman, tuning out the typical scene, knowing how it’ll end, how it always ends. And sure enough, it’s another indisputable win for Iwaizumi.

Iwaizumi - 31 Kyoutani - 0

For someone who’s in your class and your year, you hardly know a thing about Kyoutani other than the fact that he’s as sullen and silent in the classroom as he is outside of it. But as you curiously turn your attention to his figure slumped on top of his desk as you wait for your homeroom teacher to arrive, you have to admit his tenacity is...admirable to say the least.

Aoba Johsai is renowned for its volleyball team and although you hadn’t known a thing about the sport, you were easily swayed by your friends and classmates into watching a game, interested in seeing what the big deal was about. In all fairness, you’re not sure if you necessarily like the sport itself any more than you did that first game. But when you saw Iwaizumi Hajime spike a ball, you were instantly hooked.

Everyone and their mom is smitten with Oikawa Tooru and while you can appreciate your senpai’s charisma, skills, and attractiveness, it’s sharp green eyes and a strong and silent demeanor that captures your heart.

One game turns into two. Two games turn into three. Before you know it you’re donning a teal shirt, shouting and cheering the team on as an official member of the Aoba Johsai Cheer team.

The entire team is treated with almost reverence and certainly respect. So imagine your surprise when you’re watching them practice and a loud growl suddenly echoes throughout the room, Kyoutani stalking towards Iwaizumi with almost hostile aggression. You nervously fidget, unsure if you should do anything, worried he might hurt your crush. You’ve heard the stories of the infamous Mad Dog and his temper, but you can’t imagine Iwaizumi doing anything to warrant any of the younger boy’s anger.

Yet no one else seems to be concerned, the third-years briefly glancing at the two before continuing on with practice. So you stay put, intently watching the unfolding scene, only to rapidly bink in shock when Kyoutani barks at Iwaizumi to arm wrestle. And like a surprisingly addicting reality show, you can’t tear your eyes away as Iwaizumi easily agrees and proceeds to win, as Kyoutani scowls but politely (albeit stiffly) bows in respect to the ace before angrily storming out like a dog with its tail between his legs.

But much like a reality show that plays on the same trope over and over again, you also begin to barely acknowledge the strange daily competitions Kyoutani instigates, just wryly shaking your head in amusement when you hear Kyoutani’s familiar snarl, internally praising Iwaizumi for his patience and good-natured spirit as he goes along with Kyoutani’s whims.

Cut to a few months later, you worriedly gaze at Iwaizumi who looks worse for wear, hovering over him to make sure he’s hydrated as he holds a cool towel to his forehead while he sits on the bench, taking an uncharacteristic break.

“Iwaizumi-senpai, maybe you should go home if you’re not feeling well. It’s not good to push yourself too hard if you’re sick.”

The brunette groans in agreement, sheepishly grinning at your concerned face.

“Alright, alright. Stop looking at me like I’m going to die. I’ll go home-”

He’s cut off by the gym door slamming open and both of you whip your heads again once more as Kyoutani storms towards you two.

“Race me.”

“Not today, Kyoutani. I’m not feeling well-”

“Chickening out? Didn’t take you for someone who lets a little cold-”

“SHUT UP!”

Both boys instantaneously stiffen and quiet down, staring at you wide-eyed and in shock. But you’re not done and you stomp towards Kyoutani, turning yourself into a flimsy barrier between your rude classmate and your senpai, getting between the two and shoving your finger in Kyoutani’s chest.

“Iwaizumi-senpai is sick and he’s going to go home and rest. He’s not going to play your stupid little games that you always lose anyway and you’re going to walk away and stop being so rude to your upperclassman.”

If you weren’t so fired up, you might be proud at how you’ve flabbergasted your fellow hot-headed classmate, leaving him speechless as he stares at you, mouth gaping. But a fire is blazing inside of you and you bare your fangs at him.

“Go. AWAY!”

Your raised voice hits a chord in Kyoutani and there’s tense silence as both of you practically growl at each other before he shoves his hands in his pockets and storms off, muttering angrily under his breath. But when the gym door clangs shut behind him, all your bravado dissipates and you curl in on yourself in embarrassment as you feel everyone’s eyes still on you.

But you startle when a loud raucous laughter fills the air and you turn to pout at Iwaizumi who’s howling in between coughs and sneezes.

“What’s so funny?”

You don’t mean for the question to be as sharp as it is and you cringe when you hear the defensiveness in your own ears, an apology already on your tongue. But your words get stuck in your throat as your body heat skyrockets when a calloused hand endearingly ruffles your head.

“Thanks for standing up for me. I didn’t realize I had such a scary guard dog.”

You shyly look into playful green eyes, only to whine in protest and wrinkle your nose in distaste as he continues on.

“You remind me of Kyoutani when you get fired up.”

“Yeah! It’s like watching two angry chihuahuas go at it. Scary~”

“Shut up, Shittykawa!”

You exchange smug grins with Iwaizumi as Oikawa dramatically complains about the volleyball sized bruise on his forehead before the two of you walk back home together, already leaving the day’s events behind you.

Or at least you tried to.

You can feel eyes boring holes into your head as class drags on and you don’t need to turn to know who it is. Ever since your little showdown, Kyoutani has made it a point to keep you in his sight, staring at you throughout class, only scoffing in return when you snarkily tell him that as smart as you are, he might find it more helpful to actually take notes from the blackboard in the front of the classroom.

Should you be more unnerved by the fact that you’ve caught his interest and that he can’t seem to keep his eyes off you? Maybe. But you don’t feel any creepiness or danger from his intense gaze and if you’re honest, you find it disturbingly cute (although you’d die before you admit it). It reminds you of a cautious puppy trying to study and gauge another puppy who’s entered their home and space.

You suppose you’re passing whatever mental examinations he’s running you through when he unexpectedly joins you at your lunch table one day and you find you don’t mind the comfortable silence that settles around the two of you as you continue on with your meals like nothing is out of the ordinary.

It’s subtle, so subtle that you don’t really notice your newfound closeness until Yahaba briefly mentions it one day as you’re helping the team clean up.

“When did Kyoutani and you become so close?”

Close?

That’s not a word you’d necessarily use to describe your relationship, but as you ponder his question, you can’t deny where he’s coming from. Kyoutani has become something of a protective shadow, appearing out of nowhere as you make your way to and from school, rudely pulling you back whenever he deems you too close to the side of the street as cars zoom by, hostilely growling at men who come too close to you on crowded train cars, smacking more than a hand or two that drift too close to the hem of your skirt.

And in return you’ve found yourself mindlessly blabbering on and on to him, telling him whatever’s on your mind, nosily peeking over his shoulder and correcting mistakes you notice in his homework, passing bites of food from your bento to his.

Close. The two of you are close. Something warm flutters in your chest at that realization.

It’s like a veil has been lifted from your eyes and you suddenly really see Kyoutani for the first time as the two of you walk to and from school and classes. You see the lean toned muscles of his forearm as he insists on holding your bag for you. You see the well-meaning soul behind all the barks and feral eyes. And suddenly the weight of his eyes on you feels heavier than before and you unconsciously move to pat the rumples out of your skirt and shirt and make sure your makeup is intact.

You find your own eyes straying towards his figure as he furrows his brows in concentration, paying attention to the scrawled equations on the board. You no longer ignore his daily competitions with Iwaizumi, surprising yourself with your sudden quiet internal wish for Kyoutani to win as you watch the two race and wrestle against each other. Meanwhile unknown to you, narrowed eyes hone in on the comfortable companionship between Iwaizumi and you, something uncomfortable churning in Kyoutani’s stomach as he observes the carefree way you smile and laugh at everything the ace says.

Kyoutani and you have been assigned to classroom cleaning duties and both of you work in an easy natural harmony, comfortably maneuvering around each other as you sweep and wipe down the room. So you’re surprised when you bump into a hard object, turning around in confusion and coming face to face with Kyoutani who is intensely staring you down.

“What do you like about Iwaizumi?”

You’re stunned, mouth wildly moving around as you try to form words, but no sounds come out.

Your crush on Iwaizumi is a poorly kept secret. You’ve never been subtle and you have an inkling even the vice-captain himself is well-aware of your feelings for him. So it’s not Kyoutani’s awareness of it that’s leaving you speechless. It’s your instinctual response of denial that shocks you to your core.

“I- don’t like Iwaizumi?”

There’s silence as Kyoutani narrows his eyes and stares at you in a mixture of disbelief and confusion.

“Was that a question?”

“Shh! I’m trying to think.”

Kyoutani rolls his eyes, but he settles on top of a nearby desk, patiently waiting and watching as your thoughts race.

You like Iwaizumi. You’ve always liked Iwaizumi. But you wonder if you’ve ever truly liked the upperclassman in the way you believe you did. He’s hard working, responsible, kind, handsome, and physically gifted. He’s a man’s man, someone who everyone looks up to. He’s the shiny glossy page of a magazine that catches your eyes, showing you a vision of a picture perfect world you wildly create and build in your mind. He’s the older brother and mentor you’ve always wanted. He’s protection, comfort, and guidance. But even then, he’s always at arm’s length, on a pedestal you’ve forced him on, unattainable, unreachable. He’s not Kyoutani.

Kyoutani. Rude, gruff, brash Kyoutani with his few words and feral snarls. He’s not Kyoutani and yet when you think of bleached hair, your heart starts pounding and you instinctively want to lean in towards the silent wall of lean muscles that hovers around you, keeping you safe, listening to every word you say. You think of countless meals, walks, and hangout/study sessions. You think of sharp words and growls mixed in with laughter and fondness.

Iwaizumi is just a pretty pipe dream you’ve concocted. He’s a great senpai, a good man, who you've used as the center of your rose-tinted imagination. But you don’t really know him. Not the way you know Kyoutani. Your feelings for Iwaizumi are silly, whimsy, fluffy and cloud-like, a vapid perfect world that doesn’t exist. Not like the raw and tangible bolts you feel around Kyoutani as the two of you bicker about who has the right answer on their homework when your responses differ, excitedly talk about your favorite dog breed, or discover your new go-to fried chicken place together by accident one day while the two of you are aimlessly strolling through town.

You like Iwaizumi, but you like Kyoutani.

It’s like a lightbulb has flipped on over your head, but you know you’ve been silent for too long when movement catches your attention from the corner of your eyes and you turn to see Kyoutani’s legs beginning to impatiently fidget.

“I don’t like Iwaizumi.”

The conviction in your words startles both of you, but you continue on.

“I saw him spike a ball and my mind got carried away. That’s all.”

There’s so much left unsaid, so much implied and yet, somehow you know Kyoutani understands what you really mean when he abruptly stands up and reaches for both your school bags, carrying them on his shoulder as the two of you exit the classroom, an uncharacteristic softness in his next words.

“Yeah, he’s a pretty cool guy...for an upperclassman.”

No one pays any mind as the gym doors slam open at practice yet again, but heads turn when Kyoutani turns his back on Iwaizumi and makes his way towards Oikawa who’s curiously staring at the approaching second-year.

“I want to rejoin the volleyball team and I’m going to be the ace after Iwaizumi graduates.”

Chaos erupts as people choke on their water bottles, surprised and outraged exclamations and whispers flooding the space. But as irritating as Oikawa can be, you have to admit he’s always been good at finding and honing potential, at swaying people to his ways. And you beam in surprise and excitement as Kyoutani begins to warm-up with the team, stretching and jogging amongst a sea of teal.

You’re jolted back to attention when someone sits next to you, smiling at Iwaizumi who drinks some water as he observes Kyoutani.

“You have something to do with this?”

You balk at the hidden connotation of his words. As if you’d have any influence on stubborn, strong-willed Kyoutani who’s always done what he wants and you fervently shake your head side to side in denial.

“Me??? I’m just as surprised as you are. If he doesn’t even listen to you, what makes you think he’d even hear what I have to say-”

You’re silenced by the loud echo of your name being called, turning your head to the middle of the court where the team is lining up, getting ready to practice their spikes, looking at the second-year who’s scowling at you. (If Iwaizumi notices the way Kyoutani’s glare deepens when he notices the ace sitting so close to you, he wisely doesn’t bring it up.)

“Watch me spike.”

Your jaw drops at the demanding statement, indignation beginning to fester in you as you get ready to retort and tell him he can’t tell you what to do, let alone interrupt practice to order you around. But then you remember…

“I saw him spike a ball and my mind got carried away.”

There’s no way that’s why he’s…

And yet…

You clamp your mouth shut, eyes carefully watching as he bounds towards the net, leg muscles contracting and expanding as he leaps in the air, arm swinging overhead, a resounding smack filling the air as he slams the ball over the net. It’s mere seconds and yet it feels like eternity to you as Kyoutani eagerly whips his head towards you the second he lands back on the ground, making sure you were watching, You’re not sure how the gut-twisting awe and pride you feel translates onto your face, but it must if the slight upwards twitch of his lips are any indication as he makes his way towards the back of the line, getting ready to do it all over again

“Congratulations. I think you’ve officially bumped me down to number two on Kyoutani’s ‘people I give a shit about’ list.”

“Senpai, it’s not like that!”

“Yet. It’s not like that yet.”

There’s a pause as you can’t bring yourself to deny his words, something hopeful and nervous twining and entangling your beating heart at the heavy underlying meaning of Iwaizumi’s words. But you wince, crashing back to reality when a finger roughly pokes your forehead, any complaints dying on your tongue when you see the softest knowing look in green eyes.

“I’m happy for you and I wish the two of you all my best.”

To anyone else, they’re sweet words. That’s all. But you know better. You can see the official rejection of your unconfessed feelings in the way Iwaizumi carefully chooses his words. You can feel the acknowledgement of your past feelings for him in the way his hand gently, but firmly grips your shoulder in consolation and reassurance before he trudges back to practice himself.

Yet it doesn’t hurt the way you thought it would and as your heart bids a final fond farewell to the brown-haired, green-eyed protagonist of your past dreams, you turn to Kyoutani, ready to begin a new real adventure together.

[flickeringart]

Neptune in aspect with Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Pluto and Chiron

(Read my other posts 1: Neptune aspecting Sun & Moon, 2: Neptune aspecting Mercury & Venus, 3: Neptune aspecting Mars)

It is always difficult to interpret aspects of generational planets to other generational planets because they are such big forces and encompasses such broad complexity that it would take a genius to accurately convey their impact through the Mercurial function; verbal and written communication. The social and collective planets are describing the bigger picture of what is going on a societal and global scale – but they do matter in the personal natal chart because they indicate the overall collective climate that one was born into and will inevitably color the personal life experience. When I refer to “collective tendencies” in describing these aspects I’m therefore also referring to “personal tendencies”.

Neptune in aspect with Jupiter

With the harmonious aspects this would translate into a time of deep collective faith and belief in the transience of the world as well as a faith in the ability to be redeemed through the correct attitude and positive expectations. This is a typical aspect of “follow your heart and your dreams” which is often considered extremely naïve by more “realistic” people. With this aspect forming at a point in time, there’s a greater collective tendency to take chances and put one’s luck in the hands of the universe. This aspect lends itself to big dreams and visions, a freedom to pursue spirituality and let go of inhibitions, to pursue freedom with complete abandon of boundaries, to enjoy culture and contribute to it in order to feel closer to the divine. In case of the hard aspects, belief systems may be dissolving and reconstructed, the future might seem obscure; the erosion of culture and lost sense purpose might cause people to pursue religion or spiritual doctrine more vigorously than ever. People could attempt to escape from it all through distraction and dissociation, to cling to illusions in order to cope, or take to drugs in order to numb the sense of meaninglessness and desperation that permeates the social-societal fabric. The hard aspects could indicate disillusionment and disappointment in religious doctrine, an abandonment of belief and collective spirit. People could feel betrayed and deceived by thought leaders and visionaries leading them astray instead of enriching their lives. In any case, these two planets together combine the yearning for something sacred and transcendent with the symbolic expressions of meaning in culture and social life.

Neptune in aspect with Saturn

With the harmonious aspects this combination of planets, the collective might try to create a system of protection for the less fortunate, to provide a container for the unformed and passive souls that are helpless in the face of existence. It might also lend itself to collective fantasies of the ideal state with an ideal structure. Hard work and duty might be glorified and seen as the height of goodness. There could even be a great sense of bliss in restricting and depriving in order to chip away at a distant goal. It could also mean that there’s romanticizing and mythologizing of authority, a deep need to idealize paternal figureheads and put faith in tradition. This aspect forming at a specific point in time could generate a tendency to expect to be taken care of by society, for the powers that be to provide and coddle its citizens. There could be an expectancy to be redeemed through putting noses to the grindstone and get rewarded in this (or the next) life for doing the right thing, for believing in the system. With the harmonious aspects this might not be such a disastrous preconception to live by but with the harder aspect it becomes another story. With the hard aspects, Neptune-Saturn might express ad deep guilt and regret in not pursuing worldly goals or becoming successful – there could likewise be a sadness of not being receptive enough to have dreams and longings because of too much realism. There might be great defensiveness collectively against chaos as to make people paranoid to not loose control. Counter to what is desired; this fear might cause more disorder and a collapse of defense systems through the very effort of keeping them intact. Saturn has to do with boundaries and Neptune has to do with dissolution, which might indicate collective experiences of trying to keep things in but being unable to. Avoiding the “swamp” whatever form it comes in, would be the dilemma of these people’s lives and for the greater collective at this specific point in time. Escaping responsibility causes guilt and disorder and taking responsibility will cause guilt and disorder, whether it’s mental or physical or both. There’s dysfunction present at both ends. There would possibly be an undermining of authority taking place and simultaneously a stronger defensiveness around authority in order to not fall prey to the temptation of chaos.

Neptune in aspect with Uranus

With the harmonious aspects, this set of planets will combine themselves to create a common experience of looking to the future for redemption. That which is new is idealized and welcomed with open arms – change might seem like an appealing concept. Dreams of a utopian society where every individual is accepted and harmoniously coexisting without the necessity of rigid rules and structure might be prevalent. Faith in humanity and its capacity for genius to solve all its problems might come with this planetary contact. In fact, Neptune is sextile Uranus at this point in time, pointing to a longing for change and the opportunity to create something new that saves humanity from the “dark” past and elevates it to new heights of spiritual and scientific excellence. This is a highly idealistic combo that can produce genius solutions that are in line with the yearnings of the collective. The hard aspects can create tremendous despair and incapacity to pursue progress, without feeling like there’s an abandonment of the potential for redemption. These are the aspects that will sabotage any new endeavor and model in favor of remaining in a state of nebulous undifferentiated potential. New discoveries and insights made during the time of the hard aspects might produce great hurt and disillusionment in the collective. The new discoveries will seem to threaten that which is perceived as pure and sacred, the romantic ideals of humanity will be crushed in favor of breaking free from the limits of the status quo. The collective might polarize into people who want to jump on the band wagon of more advanced thought and the people who can’t abandon the “way things are” because of sentimentality and feeling ties. Either way, with the hard aspects there will be a conflict of the glamorous, timeless and bittersweet and the push to break out of the confines of old society. Neptune often symbolizes the urge to regress or transcend to reach a state of unity; Uranus symbolizes radical rebellion and revolution. With the hard aspects, there’s no way to have both. Uranus is too aggressive and might push people into emotional chaos, Neptune is too receptive and might consume and confuse people as to what is really going on in terms of thought advancement to ever come outside of their current mental framework.

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Neptune in aspect with Pluto

With the harmonious aspects, the Neptune-Pluto dynamic expresses itself through experience of unity through crisis. This might sound scary, but Pluto is after all representative of destruction and rebirth. With this aspect the collective longing for redemption stimulates the impulse to protect something that is necessary for survival. At this point in time Neptune is sextile Pluto, which makes sense considering the state of the world we’re in at the moment. There’s a sense of a need for survival in order to be able to guarantee a blissful destiny of humanity. The collective feeling tone is certainly categorized by fear and paranoia at this time, but also of greater oneness because the whole world is going through this pandemic. With the Neptune-Pluto sextile there’s a need for drastic measures in order to survive the pressure that is felt. The way to Eden is through the darkness. Pluto is in Capricorn, which suggests the desire to protect and control the structure of society at all costs – hard work and endurance is necessary for survival on a collective level. To ensure integrity of the building blocks of society becomes more important than anything else.

With the hard aspects between these planets, the picture becomes less appealing. The urge to merge and retreat into the world of pre/post existence to find healing and peace inevitably causes chaos and violent destruction. The collective would find that the fear and pressure that is experienced is too much to handle. Taking control and exercising power destroys all the hope of beauty and love in the world. This aspect could indicate a time of heart-breaking vulnerability and a lot of fear and need to escape into a dream of how things could be. People born around the years of 1814-1822 seem to have Neptune square Pluto in their charts if you look it up on astrotheme.com. These people would’ve been born into a collective climate of hopelessness and despair to some extent, of power wielded over the weak. There would’ve been a necessity to surrender to the threat of death, to accept the unacceptable and either give up power or use it at the expense of sensitivity and compassion. Karl Marx is a good example of an individual with the square aspect because it falls across two angular houses, Pluto in the 1st  house of self and Neptune in the 10thhouse of public image. The conflict between Neptune-Pluto is consequently evident in his persona. Publicly he’s known for his ideas about how the ideal society should be run (Neptune conjunct Uranus in the 10th). He argued that class tension and antagonism that developed under capitalism was unsustainable – the ruling classes controlling the means of production and the working class offering their labor in exchange for wages would not work in the long run in his opinion. The working class would eventually develop class-consciousness and conquer political power to establish a classless communist society. In this case, Neptune symbolizes the working class and Pluto the ruling class - in Marx’s experience these were at odds with each other (as reflected in his chart). His opinions certainly came from his inner personal tension of needing to identify as powerful (Pluto 1st house) and to offer a recipe of redemption as a part of his life’s work (Neptune in the 10th). I’m sure he felt powerful in himself, yet despairingly at loss when having to contribute to society. Undoubtedly, he felt like he had to give up his power to serve at the feet of the ruling class, to “give himself up”, like Neptune often nudges us to.

Neptune in aspect with Chiron

The harmonious aspects would translate into a peak experience through suffering, a sense of being touched by the sublime through the unintended infliction of pain, whether it’s physical or psychological. Redemption is inextricably linked with the misfortunes and wounding that can’t be cured with current scientific method. Suffering is somehow a vehicle for finding a sense of unity with the remainder of life, it makes for a transcendent experiences that allows for ecstatic bliss in conjunction with permanent damage and disability. At the point in time of the aspect’s formation there might be an unusual acceptance and romanticizing of disability, even to the point of elevating it to something divine and sacred. Knowledge and methods of healing are pursued as a means of redemption, a means of returning to Eden. Technique and skill to remedy the wounds of the collective are sought with a deeper emotional hunger. Compassion and unconditional love might be seen as the key component to healing. Artistry, creativity, music, drug use, alcohol, meditation, hypnosis and emotional surrender might be sought in the name of healing. There could be an effort to collectively spread as much knowledge and insight as possible in order to cure a little bit of the ignorance that causes so much trouble in society. Living with a permanent wound unites people, it connects the souls of the world in mutual longing to go “home”, to return to oneness. The wound stimulates a longing for fusion, which might express itself through a deep understanding of people’s suffering. Princess Diana is a perfect example of someone with the trine; she saw the universality of suffering and wasn’t hesitant to shower “love” on people with severe sickness or disability. She saw herself in people’s pain.

The hard aspects are more gruesome, as always. Personal wounds conflict with the need for fusion and a sense of oneness with existence. At the specific point in time of this aspect there might’ve been feelings in the collective of being fundamentally flawed and damaged to ever be redeemed and brought into the light of the eternal. There would’ve been great struggle to save people from irretrievable damage, yet the longing itself could cause more damage and additional feelings of insufficiency. There could’ve been a tendency to cover up the wound, numb it out and avoid looking at it in order to have a chance at something beautiful, pure and elevated. However, the escape and dissociation from it would only make it worse. The resistance to hope would potentially make the healing journey difficult. Great sympathy could be present yet it would be frequently cancelled out by stone cold realism. Chiron is the wounded healer archetype. He uses the mind and his practical skills to cope. When he’s in hard aspect with Neptune there’s going to be tension in the face of the possibility of redemption. It might only be an illusion after all, and the dark abyss of disillusionment is nothing to gamble with– consequently people would stick to the difficult but nonetheless, real, experience of pain in front of them. However when the pain of life becomes too much and one succumbs to the sweet escape through drugs, alcohol, food, tv, spiritual practices or any other method, it might backfire terribly and cause total disintegration and victimization. A good example of someone with the square is Oprah Winfrey with Chiron in the 1sthouse and Neptune in the 10th house. She’s widely known as a person of great compassion and insight – on a public level she embodies the role of the redeemer to some extent. Her identity however is that of someone who’s been wounded yet has come to terms with the burden and has learnt to live with it. She’s generally perceived to be very wise, similar to Chiron in myth. However, in her need to heal people she makes it into a show and molds the narrative to her liking or preference sometimes. She’s deeply compassionate, yet she can also expect people to live with the permanent burden of certain pains. Her Neptune draws the public in – promises redemption, but in person, she expects people to be realistic and strip their issues down without glamorizing or mythologizing.

[blackberry-gingham]

Hey so I have this kind of hyper specific idea I’ve been rolling around in my brain like a gas station hotdog. SO, Mortimer was cast out from group (I don’t see our low self esteem boy leaving on his own) and he ends up on your property in the middle of nowhere. You feel bad for this guy who’s obviously not had a good time of it and offer him room and board in exchange for helping you around your fixer upper house you just bought. Idk idk something about making a home with him and giving him praise and gentle correction instead of mockery for the first time in his life has me feeling a certain way. He would have feelings but wouldn’t want to push his luck and you don’t want to take advantage of him as he has nowhere else to go so it’s mutual pining galore.

NEMSKWKWK OK BUT THE HOTDOG ANALOGY LITERALLY MADE ME LAUGH LMAOOOO

This turned into like a mini fic ig??? Sorry but yeah I had to go with this concept, I love it so much!!!! 😭😭

Ok you're going to have to forgive me bc I've got my southern gothic playlist going so I'm in a very specific Mood™ but like KSSKSKAKAK.

Just, reader living out by the bayou for this scenario. Toad of course is out there somewhere, but he is struggling. All kinds of gators and pests, you know? Kind of makes it suck, especially having to eat bugs and drink from the swamp and basically sleep in the mud.

He didn't think he'd be stranded out here for so long. Surely the others will want him back right? They'll come for him, drag him back, kick him about a little, and then things will go back to normal... Right?

He would've thought so, and yet here he lies. Surrounded by filth and steadily starving more and more as the days drag on.

By the time he comes across any sort of shelter, he's all worn down. He hopes through an open window to spend the night away from the swamp, and... that's that. It's basically abandoned, but it's intact enough to live in.

In fact that's just the reason you wanted it. A little place to truly make your own and far enough away from any annoyances of the outside world.

Although... You can't say the swamp doesn't get to you. They're just stories. Silly folk tales and such. But... They say things live out there.

Unnatural things.

You hardly believe in things like ghosts, but... Some nights you swear you see moving shadows.

When you come downstairs that morning... Shit, you swear you nearly had a heart attack. A stranger, a young man, you think... He's all but collapsed on your floor, laying in a small pool of mud and slimey water.

Of all the things he could've woken up to, a 12 gauge pointed at his face was about the last thing Mort expected. Looking just a little past the barrel, he's more surprised that you didn't just blow him into pulp. That's about the treatment he'd expect from a human, anyway...

You threaten him. Question him. But who gives a damn? If he runs out, he's dead. If he stays here, he's dead. At least the shotgun will put him out of his misery faster.

Your heart races with terror. Fuck fuck fuck... What is that thing?

Whatever he is, he refuses to speak. You're honestly not even sure if he can. The being watches you with enlarged, tired eyes. After some more effort and prodding from you to get him to do or say... Well, something... He just sighs and rolls them.

"Fuckin' hell, if you're going to shoot me will you just bloody do it?", he rolls over onto his stomach so he can no longer see what you're doing, "...I've had enough"

The accent catches you off guard almost more than the fact that he can actually speak. You don't want to push, but...

"You got a name at least?"

He picks his face up off the rough, worn out floorboards just enough to speak clearly, "Toad. Put that on the fucking headstone, will ya?"

You fix the back of his head with a bewildered look and lower your weapon. More confused than anything else, you see if you can keep him talking. Whatever he is... You don't want to kill him.

"Are you... From around here?"

He makes a strange noise... You'd almost say it sounded like an animal. Slowly, and with great difficulty not seems, he jerks himself off the floor.

"Does it bloody sound like it?", He huffs angrily, but... You don't feel particularly threatened. Scared? Maybe. Whatever the case, he seems to be doing worse off then you first thought.

Now that he's up, you can see him more clearly. He's young and awfully skinny, but looks to be around your age. He reeks of the bayou and is encrusted with mud and filth. Aside from that, you can't possibly miss the way he's holding his side.

Is that mud or... blo-?

Toad jerks to the side to stop your staring. Then winces in pain. He gives a weary sigh of resignation. The aggressive front melts away.

His voice is soft, quiet. He sighs. Then, as though he doesn't want you to hear, "...Forget it"

He brushes past you, limping his way towards the door.

You stop him.

"Wait... You're hurt?"

Toad freezes at your touch. His shirt is stiff from nights upon nights in the mud and swamp. Your hand is clamped tightly around this wiry bicep. It doesn't hurt, but... Well he can't help but be atunned.

How long has it been since he's felt a touch, and not a strike?

Snap out of it. He shakes out his mop of hair, then fixes you with a sneer, "What do you care?", He jerks his arm free, only to cause himself double the pain.

"Well... I don't want you getting yourself done in even worse out there, is all. Patch you up before you go?"

He thinks about it for a moment. He'll heal from it... Eventually. But he's gotta say, nearly thought he was done for when that gator got a hold of him.

Toad looks from his side... To your gun... And to you.

He's dead anyway if he leaves...

"What the hell...", he sighs with great exhaustion, "Fine"