#it fits my aesthetic so it goes here

[earthtooz]

cw: arranged marriage, fluff, neglect at the beginning, ratio falling hard, pining, ratio being jealous of aventurine, unedited bc i wrote this with my heart not my brain

my brain has been thinking about an arranged marriage fic with dr. ratio...

he isn't kind to you at first, less than happy to share a life with a mere acquaintance. he's heard about you before in passing, noting your achievements with a grain of salt because nothing about you particularly mattered to him, irrelevant against the mass of scrolls and books he needs to read.

you don't really disturb his normal routine too much. you move in to his estate with a fair share of your belongings, but none of them crowd his house too much. you have your own room, pristine guest room unearthed by your artistic touch.

aside from dinners, you don't get to see each other too much. he starts his mornings early, getting up at the crack of dawn to exercise and start his day with a hearty meal. you wake up later, partaking in a slow morning, and if you glanced out the window, you might be able to see your husband running laps around the expanse of his gardens.

you admire his dedication and routine, it's fascinating to live beside a genius. everyday, the chest table that sits in the living room changes, the black and white pieces never remaining where you last recalled. the size of his blackboard is impressive, and yet too small to fit all of the formulas his brain remembers, hands effortlessly dancing along the surface to scratch number after number.

a frequent order of his estate is chalk. a new pile is delivered every three days, and he goes through them without fail every time.

during dinner, he tries to spare some conversation with you. you don't tell him too much about your day, not wanting to bore him with your menial chores. he's only half-listening either way, so you'll feign understanding about his work when he explains what he's up to.

ratio is not an attentive husband, but he doesn't mistreat you, either. he allows you to spend his assets without too much care, doesn't police your everyday tasks, and also doesn't bat an eye at other men or women. his pursuit of intelligence is important, and your wellbeing would not come in between that.

your monotonous, distant routine changes one autumn dusk. you're perched in the front yard with an easel set up before you, the sky in front of you now a blend of pink-purple hues. he returns home earlier than you expected, carriage stopping at the front of his estate, and he witnesses you in your tranquil state.

the paint strokes on the canvas before you are skilled, and show years of dedication to the craft. you're so invested in the piece before you, that you don't even hear him approaching until he calls your name.

"the night turns colder with each minute. shouldn't you come inside before you fall ill?" the scholar greets, and you're snapped out of your creative reverie, looking over at him.

"oh, i had not realised. let me clean up here, first." you take your canvas off the easel, but to your surprise, your spouse kneels down to organise your oil paints back into their box.

"make haste, then," he urges.

during dinner, he can't help but be curious over your hobby, the stubborn splotches of paint clinging to your hands visible to him. that night, you engage in uninterrupted conversation, and discover that he's an artist himself- a sculptor. it calms him, and all the statues reside in a removed room, adjacent to his study.

despite your years of matrimony, you had never once dared enter his study, but the design is so fittingly him. it is organised (well, as organised a genius can be), with shelves and shelves filled with books, discarded scrolls lay around the room, but even then, his taste for greco-roman aesthetics are seen. roman dorics act like stands for little plants, and his many certificates are displayed, along with other achievements.

(his study is overwhelmingly filled with them. though you knew of the merit of the man you were arranged to be married to, you had never known just how expansive the list is. perhaps, that only made him more intimidating to you, standing beside a genius does not feel so light to say anymore.)

he shows you his sculptures, and though many of them are... self portraits... the likeness is disgustingly accurate. it was as if he had casted himself in plaster and displayed it proudly. you wonder how long he must have stared in the mirror to perfect their appearance.

but, there are also various other formidable statues. some of people you recognise. you compliment his skill and don't get to see the blush that spreads along his cheeks.

it seems that you've chipped a way into his heart, because between brushstrokes and chiselled marble, he falls in love with you.

ratio knows he didn't start off being the best husband, but he tries to now, and begins by being present. asks you to dine together where possible, listens when you're talking about your day, and the two of you can be seen venturing downtown together; an unbelievable sight for those who believed that ratio was romantically inept.

perhaps, an even more unbelievable sight, was the soft smile on his face that glanced at you very adoringly, and how you remained unaware of his affections.

and, maybe a jealous veritas ratio is just as unbelievable.

he is practically glaring daggers at the side of a certain blond's head. ratio has never been fond of the scheming businessman, aventurine, and is even less so of the fact that you seem so close to him, more than you are with your own husband. you're speaking with him like how one would with old friends, a peaceful visit to the markets turned sour by his presence.

when you finally, finally, finally, bid farewell to aventurine, who gave ratio a look that signified he was up to no good, your husband held your hand in his gloved one with an unforgiving grip. his mood is dampened for the remainder of the day, and is only made better when you enquire about his sudden glumness, visiting his office to see if he was alright.

you leave him with a kiss on the crown of his head, and a whisper of 'goodnight', before retreating to your chambers, and the only thought that circulates in his head for the rest of the night is you, and how he's going to sweep you off your feet.

[seeminglydark]

A look-book and little break-down of Caro’s style and fashion Journey. I didn’t include their cheer uniform or GasCo uniform because those really didn’t influence their actual style much, other than the Varsity jacket and work jacket. I thought it would be fun to set it up almost like a magazine article and I’m in love with the results. I hope you enjoy it too. (The cover is my fave thing ever, just so you know.)

Here’s the Text:

Caro Greene, Cheerleader to Ghosthunter! An exclusive look at superstar Caro Greene’s style evolution. From femme to them!

The Teenage Years! Caro has been aware the high-femme style their parents chose for them was not the look they wanted for a long time, but didn’t know how to address it. Pairing their best friends tee-shirt over their Prom dress was the first step in figuring out their own personal style! From there, they tested out the route of borrowed too-big sweaters whenever they weren’t under the watchful eye of their family.

GasCo Era! Years of emotional neglect build until Caro chops off their hair, an asset more important to their parents than their happiness, and finds themself abruptly homeless, with nothing but some jeans, shirts and an oversized jacket belonging to their long-gone boyfriend. They get a job at the local gas station, and are gifted a new jacket that fits, with their new name on it, in their favorite color! More gender exploration leads them to a better haircut, and their first time trying a binder, and starting to not hate how they look.

Thrift stores, Sneakers, and T! Now in a new environment with supportive people at the GasCo, Caro discovers thrift stores and the tacky ‘80s aesthetic of their dreams. After years of other people controlling their body and looks, starting on low T is a big step in taking back control. They start wearing crop tops and sleeveless tees to show off new body hair, but also love chunky colored sweaters since they’re always cold. Sneakers go with everything, and when you’re short, the possibilities are endless in the kids shoes section.

Mil-Liminal! Caro’s podcast Mil-Liminal goes viral, and they are given the choice of staying faceless and anonymous, or taking the stage in live shows. They decide to do a face reveal, and that means choosing an iconic ‘look’ for their live performances. They choose their favorite color, GasCo Purple, and a jacket that is a blend of their varsity jacket and GasCo work jacket, two clothing pieces that always made them comfortable. They wear their trans identity on their sleeve, and top it off with the snapback look they donned years ago on their first venture ‘out’ as a teenager. The rest is history!

Current Caro! Which brings us to the present! There’s been some small changes, oversized sweaters and tees with a cosmic theme, which is new for the usually spookified Caro. They’re sporting white hair instead of their trademark blond, and have added a cross earring and a pendant to their Mil-Liminal uniform. A black snapback shows up as often as the purple one, and there’s a new bounce in their step, but perhaps they’ve just been indulging in too much coffee these days.

Caro Green is from my webcomics Seemingly Dark and Mil-Liminal, and podcast Mil-Liminal.

[iznsfw]

Ms. Kang Hyewon

IZ Days of Christmas 2023: Day 3 - Kang Hyewon

IZ*ONE's Kang Hyewon x Male Reader Smut

9,122 words

Categories | femdom, mommy kink, degradation, angry sex, choking

Content warning | blackmail, degradation, Hyewon isn't so innocent here

Well, well, well, look who came back with Day 3.

My promise remains. Expect more, but on separate days. I won't run away with your money like a certain pre-

Thread isn’t claustrophobic. It slips through spaces not even your fingernail could pierce apart. Effortlessly, too. It isn’t afraid of being knotted up. It just needs guidance: a pinch to lead it through the eye and a pull to seam it through the hem. 

You wish you wielded the same fearlessness. It’s thinner and more fragile than you (highly debated) yet it’s hardened to its life. The only thing you’re granted as a similarity to it is the need for guidance, not all of that shit about courage. 

Maybe that’s why you became a fashion designer. 

Needles have their own strengths, too. They’re not cowards to inflicting pain for aesthetics. Why do you think they stab so effortlessly through fabric and silk and skin and whatnot? They sharpen themselves through softness, and all that edge goes straight into the process.

And sometimes, your fingers.

“Fuck.” Your reverie is broken at last. From your thumb, a trail of red leaks. You’re used to the minor cuts and wounds, but the blood really does something to you. It reminds you of how fragile human anatomy is. One uncalculated move can end it all. 

“You good?” asks Eunbi. 

Suck on your thumb. A metallic taste settles over your tongue. She peers at you curiously; wave your hand at her dismissively to tell her it’s fine. This is everyday for you, like you said. Your heart will pump anxiously but that goes away, too. It’s all a vestige of time.

Flatten the vest top on the table. Wait, it’s not exactly a top yet if fringes of thread splay from the edges. You still have to work on that. Nothing is something when it’s not completed. It’s either you finish it grandly or leave it in pathetic tatters. 

“You sure you're okay?”

“Just a little nervous,” you reply. 

“I mean,” Eunbi laughs as she fixes her short hair into a ponytail, “she is Kang Hyewon.”

Not that she needs to remind you. Your nerves are in a wreck already. You’ve been replaying the pros of the situation in your head like a favorite song. Working for Hyewon would look good in your resumés. If time sees fit, you’d have your own line and everyone would want to wear it. Your name could be a staple of fashion, the god of gods. Something like that.

It only sucks that you’re painfully new to this world. This is the first time you’re this far from your family and friends. Seoul’s a far cry from your humble town. It’s the home of everything that matters. Nights of staying up drawing and designing couldn’t harden you for an industry that sways and shakes out the unfit.

This is your chance to find out if you’re one of them.

“The superstar who’s about to wear my shitty clothes.”

“They’re anything but shitty. You have seriously good ideas.” Always, Eunbi comes in to reassure you. That’s why you see her as a mentor. “She wouldn’t turn down wearing couture if she didn’t see potential in what you make.”

See, you would never have agreed to any of this. You’re a fresh graduate from some fashion school, and the only models you’ve worked on are the runway rejects. Fixing a sloppy first draft on a stick-thin, soulless girl is different from designing and dressing up Kang Hyewon. 

She’s everything—model, actress, singer, and idol. She’s a gem for every brand out there. They’re all dying to get her to be their ambassador. Every director with a complete brain wants to cast her for their new drama. 

And it’s her who can lift you to heights in your career. So you’d be an idiot not to seal the deal.

“Have you worked with her before?”

As your needle sews a story of fabric, Eunbi’s words whittle her story with Hyewon. Turns out, this is only her second time working with the star. She confirms that Hyewon is truly gorgeous in person with those god-given full lips and hardset eyes. 

Apparently, first impressions are right after all when it’s with her—she’s a silent, withholding woman who doesn’t talk outside of necessity. Eunbi tells you her nerves were in knots the first time, but also informs you that as long as you do your job for her properly, there isn’t gonna be any problem.

“Just be careful in what you do and say,” Eunbi whispers. She peeks over at your nearly finished piece. “That’s turning out really nice, by the way.”

“Thanks.” 

Look proudly at your handiwork. It’s a sleeveless top fashioned from denim, with a V-shaped curve at the stomach. You’ve attached strips of more denim on the front that are sewn on with threads that match the blue of the ocean, embedded into the chest to prevent dullness. You think it’s turning out pretty good, too.

You would’ve gone on smiling if it weren’t for what you remembered. “Wait, why do I have to be careful?”

“She’s not, like, shy or anything. Just really unfiltered when it comes to feedback. She told me the eyeliner I did on her was shit, and that I shouldn’t come back if I planned on doing that again.”

Doubts about the beauty of your design rise. It might look good in your eyes, but what if it doesn’t in hers? She’d probably see the lack of color and call it a monstrosity. She’s got the type of power to get away with brutal words, to leave your little self-confidence in pieces.

The leg-hugging jeans and vest now look painfully average to you. There’s no debating that she’d look good in it, but there’s that constant back-and-forth argument in your head about whether or not Hyewon would like it. 

“Were you hurt?” you ask.

Eunbi wipes red lipstick from the edges of her mouth with the mirror’s reflection as guidance, then smiles. “She’s the kind of woman I’d let do more than hurt me.”

-

You don’t know what that was about, but you’re not one to pry. You don’t have the time anyway.

Assistants have poured into the room. It’s your sign to put in more work—their arrival means that Hyewon is about to come very soon. They’re all dressed in their uniforms, the kind that looks good but not too good that it takes away the fact that they’re just staff. 

Eunbi shifts her weight from one stiletto to another. “Are you done?” she asks. She gazes over at your sewing as she taps anxious rhythms on the vanity table. Notice how she’s taken off her acrylics and in turn shows her cruelly bitten fingernails. 

You huff. “I’m trying.” 

Stick a red-studded pin through the denim to keep the vest in place. What shade of blue did you use again? Staring for lengthy minutes at your messy table doesn’t help you find it. Your chalks have left pink powder on the wood. Your threads are unspooled and everywhere. In the midst of it all, the star’s vest sits, still waiting to be finished. 

“She’s getting here in five!” Yena shouts.

“Any updates there?” Eunbi says pleadingly to you, eyes full of tears.

“I said I’m trying, Eunbi.”

“Then try harder, fuck!” 

Her hands have abandoned their rhythms and are squeezed up into tiny, helpless fists. She keeps peeking out of the dressing room as if she’d die on the spot if Hyewon were there already. This is the first time you’ve seen Eunbi this beside herself. Even her crew is shocked. Her fear infects them too and now all sets of scared eyes are on you. They’re depending on your speed for their careers. If you fall short, they fall short, too. It’s a domino effect of failure. 

Yena pushes aside the hangers of clothing to frisk for the makeup kit. Chaeyeon has her hands in her air while Minju whimpers behind her. They all know one thing for sure: you’re never gonna finish on time.

Your needle fits and slips, fits and slips, fits and slips—

“Can’t you go any faster?” cries out Eunbi.

The thread almost pulls the rest of the fabric along it when you pull furiously. “Unless you want me to get stabbed in the fucking wrist,” you say, “I can’t.”

You prick yourself multiple times trying to speed up. Push the layered denim down. It’s like drowning a needle, letting it go up from the waves of clothes for air, then drowning it again. However, you don’t care for any casualties right now. You don’t care for deaths either. All you want is to do is finish this piece.

You hear three short knocks on the door. Your world stops, but your sewing doesn’t. You can do this. You can still make it look somehow finished. 

“Ms. Kang!” 

Curl.

Thread. 

Knot.

You’re done. It’s safe to turn around.

All of the women along with Eunbi have bowed deeply. Standing in front of them is the straight-postured form of the adored celebrity. The assistants look like they’re an estranged cult of some sorts who’s worshiping a goddess who’s come to earth.

Strangely, you find out that, as you stare at Kang Hyewon, you understand.

You can now grasp the idea why she’s ventured into so many fields: she can do it all. She can be it all.

Her hair is as black as night, and so are her irises. Her expression tells you no background, not even of a troublesome drive or a good meal. No, not any of that, for Hyewon’s face is a serious little look of professionalism. It’s the kind people of her status wear—celebrated doctors, movie stars, activists. But for some reason, it looks so much hotter on her. 

It would take skilled mathematicians and scientists to find out what’s behind her neutral expression, but it doesn’t take a degree to know that she’s downright beautiful.

The pictures her dedicated fansites take of her truly don’t do justice to her attractiveness. Her face is smaller than a child’s. The nonchalant stare in her eyes makes her look out of this world, which could be said too for her preppy clothes. She’s a fashion icon for the younger generation after all.

A natural pair of plump lips doesn’t show a sign of a smile. Nevertheless, she’s a beautiful woman. You assume that it’s how it is for her everyday, just like drawing is your daily routine.

“Hello.” Hyewon’s voice is surprisingly feminine yet husky. She looks at you all indifferently, then places her bag on a nearby chair. Each action of hers is minimal and measured.

“Would you like to get dressed, Ms. Kang?” asks Eunbi, her voice a pitch too high.

She nods.

You hand over the jeans and shirt. Make a beeline for the exit. There’s a reason why an all-female staff was hired for Hyewon. You were taught in school that you best not dress them up directly if they’re a celebrity and you aren’t known in the industry yet. There’s all the reason to fear: hidden cameras and microphones, leaked footage, the like. While you’re not a man whose intentions are dark, you still follow protocol.

“What are you running away for?” 

Your shoes stop paving the way to the door. Was that Hyewon? “What?” you say.

Eunbi winces. Clearly, that was the wrong thing to say. You don’t state that in that tone to a woman of that class.

Hyewon sighs audibly. “Can you look me in the eyes when I talk to you?”

You’re cold yet trepidation prickles your skin like fire. Slowly, almost comically, turn around. Her coat is off, leaving her in a skirt and a sleeveless undershirt on which she’s crossed her arms above. So how can you look at her directly? That body of hers is shockingly easy on the eyes.

“You’re the fashion designer, right?” she asks. 

Smile awkwardly. “I, uh—”

“Then why are you leaving? Come over here and help me. I want to see if you know what you’re doing.”

“I’m, a little, uh, actually—”

“You’re actually what?”

Your mouth’s dry. Eunbi and her crew look too scared to remind her that you’re an amateur. You haven’t dressed up a star and you definitely aren’t a professional. 

But what can you do? Look at her—a woman who could crumble your career into shards if she said so and blacklist you from the industry forever—and tell her no? 

So, you approach.

Is it a blessing that you’re granted the honors of removing her underclothes? Or a curse? 

As you undress her, you’re given the affirmation that her body is more than easy on the eyes. It’s fucking to die for. Her waist isn’t concerningly tiny, but shows a defined curve that elevates to her torso. Her breasts are large for her frame, barely fitting the size of her lace bra.

“Woah, what are you doing?” you say, eyes wide at Eunbi suddenly unclasping said bra. You feel like a Victorian man catching sight of ankles.

Eunbi looks confused. “Didn’t you say a bra would ruin the look? And that we should use nipple tape?”

Hyewon stares at her, then looks at you, waiting for an answer. 

“Oh, right.” You chuckle tensely. “Sorry.”

Your lips are pursed to keep you from hissing in embarrassment. Now you probably look like a creep. Your fright and wariness are taking control, and you have no idea what to do. 

You conveniently close your eyes when the bra’s taken off. Take the vest from Yena and raise it above Hyewon’s head. No matter what, you’ll keep your eyes up. Not below, where her breasts are sure to catch you off guard; not to the side, where they might be assuming you’re everything bad; but up. Nowhere else.

“It looks beautiful on you.” Minju’s smile is less nervous now that the job is done. 

Her remark is nothing short of the truth. The garment slips onto Hyewon’s body like water. The defined carve of her clavicle stands out above the conservative neckline. Still, her bare arms alone will already have people thinking of something. The jeans accentuate her slim long legs elevated by a pair of expensive heels. She doesn’t need makeup to look good in what you sewed for her. Her body and face do the job. 

Hyewon doesn't respond to the compliment. She simply sits down on the swivel makeup chair, crosses her legs, and pulls out her phone. Her thumbs twiddle with a game you’ve seen her advertise before. She’s true to her endorsements.

Minju carefully fills the brims of her eyelids with sharp cat eyeliner. Hyewon still doesn’t look up from her phone. You guess she’s used to people adapting to her and not the other way around. 

You like the touch of the fierce red lipstick Eunbi applies on her later on. It’s a bold statement, something that goes like: It’s me, Kang Hyewon; this is the face of a woman who can destroy you, and I promise that you’ll love it.

“You look great, Ms. Kang,” Eunbi compliments her cheerfully, clicking the lipstick back.

Hyewon stares at herself in the mirror. She’s a silent observer, taking in her reflection and studying it closely. 

A lunar eclipse personified, a smile stretches on her lips that releases your held breaths. “I know.”

-

Mirrors lined with shining diamonds. Words that spell the house of fashion emblazoned in lights. Expensive makeup behind glass. Bags that are worth your tuition sitting on displayed pedestals as if they didn’t know their own worth. The event is a never-ending sea of vanity for the wealthy and the west. You can’t believe you’re playing a part in it, although you’re a sheep among well-dressed wolves.

Crowds of reporters and photographers wait at the main hall. There’s no questioning who they’re here for. Although Jang is undoubtedly a big name, so is Hyewon. They were right to recruit her. You’ve never seen a crowd this big, even for fashion. You wonder how much they paid her to be the ambassador. Must be millions when all the other houses are dying to have her. She doesn’t look like one who kindly allows lowballing.

Neither does this man. He’s grand in his custom Victoria Jang and shoes that have the glimmer of stars themselves as he stands at the center. He must be the MC; he has a name tag to his breast pocket and a mic in his fist.

“Dude, did you know Anya Taylor-Joy’s gonna be here?” Rafael tells you.

“The chick from that cool chess movie?”

“Yeah,” he replies. He gestures to the small screen that shows her holding a lipstick to her jaw. It would be hard to see it behind the scrambling reporters. Luckily, as the designer, you scored a nearby spot backstage. “Jennie, too!”

The two are gorgeous, but you’re honestly more interested in Hyewon. If people see she’s wearing your clothes, they’d want to hire you, too. She doesn’t follow the trend; she is the trend. Soon, you’ll see Korea filled with women wearing the same shirt, the same jeans, the same style…

“We’re proud to present Jang’s first store in Korea,” says the MC. Yep, you were right. “This is a monumental stepping stone for our founder, Ms. Jang Wonyoung. Please welcome her with a hearty applause!”

You know all about Jang Wonyoung. She’s a self-made woman whose passion for beauty got the attention of the public, especially the western world. She’s always busy despite her tender age of nineteen: performing onstage with her group IVE, traveling, founding a new school in meager areas. She’s almost at the same level as Hyewon in terms of stardom.

Wonyoung comes out from the background, dressed fashionably as always. A polite smile decorates her glossed lips. It’s caught by the flashes of cameras and the reporters’ cheers. 

“Hello, thank you for coming.” She brushes back her fringe and folds her hands. “Opening a branch here in my home is an achievement I’m forever grateful for. I would like to thank you all greatly for the success it’s brought about.

“Please,” she says, “take the time to immerse yourself in our array of products. Try a new trendy look with Jang Beauty—”

She extends an arm to the variety of products protected under firm glass. There’s powder, eyeliner, and blush. Actually, there’s a little of everything. There’s colors fit for every complexion, dark or light, and a palette of rainbows. 

“—or flaunt your own style with our new arrival bags and purses.”

See, they’re the bags which immediately give the impression of expensiveness. The accessories are reserved to warm or light hues accompanied with Wonyoung’s signature rabbit logo. One even features her signature, stylishly drawn on quality canvas.

“Our helpful staff are here to answer your questions and assist you, but for now, please meet our muses.”

The camera shutters multiply when Kim Jennie enters the frame. Another “it” girl, she’s from a globally loved K-pop group whose influence couldn’t be denied even by the worst liars. She made all the buzz for Jang when a news article that quoted Wonyoung’s adoration for her was released. As expected, social media received the news happily. They made parallels with Wonyoung and Jennie, created fan accounts, and bought from Jang, even if the house initially opened in the United States.

Wonyoung’s smile is wide. You think you see a little of yourself in her. There’s certain pride in seeing someone loved and adored wearing your design. 

Jennie waves briefly to the crowd before settling in a poised stride stage left.

Anya Taylor-Joy comes in next. Rafael makes a joke about how the press would have a difficult time trying to translate her name into Hangul characters correctly. She answers a question from the crowd sweetly with a translator’s help, and stands a yard from Jennie. Seeing the two women side by side stuns you—Jang really did emphasize how there’s beauty in everything and everyone, including those from different sides of the world. 

“And finally, we would like to present Jang’s new ambassador.” Wonyoung’s beaming positively. “Welcome to Jang, Kang Hyewon!”

Suppressed screams fill your ears. The women at the mall can’t believe a friendly outing to the mall grabbed them a chance to see her in person. She’s the kind of girl who’s everywhere, and still manages to make you look. To make you want to be her or be with her. Perhaps those two at the same time?

You stare at her. Hyewon is flawless. Her slight tan is a nice break from the whiteness of the cameras. Her eyes seem to single out everybody in the crowd. The ambassador stands next to Wonyoung, a hand on her own hip, and lets a slight Mona Lisa smile paint her face.

Perfection.

How does she do so little but still attract everyone? You’re not an exception. You find yourself forgetting that you made those clothes—she owns them now. They’ll be associated with her name and not yours. 

Do you even have a problem with that?

“Jang’s vision is to highlight beauty in everyone,” Wonyoung says. “Ms. Kang Hyewon is the perfect ambassador. She is an idol, singer, dancer, model, muse, and everything you can think of. She is the personification of beauty and versatility. We are proud to have her.”

You would be, too.

You were here to make a name for yourself, not fanboy over her. Here you are anyway doing it. 

Hyewon stands next to Wonyoung and nods humbly. “I’m honored to be named the ambassador for Jang.” She bows deeply. Her hands are together on her stomach. “Please expect more from us because we will deliver.”

Perhaps that’s a statement bolder than the red painted on her lips.

“To the name of beauty!” a reporter raises a glass and chugs it. You don’t know where that came from, but it draws collective giggles. 

Wonyoung laughs. “To the name of beauty!”

Hyewon jokingly raises an imaginary shot high in the air. The simplest actions don’t bar her from being beautiful. Just look at how her hair falls perfectly over gorgeous shoulders, how her hips stick out at the sides of the jeans—

How the sound of fabric ripping loudly stuns the crowd.

Your eyes go wide. The left strap of her top has torn apart. The two aidless halves collapse on the sides uselessly. The attire sags from the front and leaks the view of one of her breasts. Maybe they should have told her to keep the bra on—her left tit with nothing but nipple tape on is painfully shown off to hundreds of people. 

Hyewon’s eyes fill with alarm. All confidence is lost as she tries to cover her exposed breast up. But the deed is done. Worse, the flashes don’t stop. The photos will soon take to the internet and, regardless of her power to bend things to their will, can never truly be eradicated. The articles will go viral, too. No one will forget this moment of Kang Hyewon finally showing vulnerability.

“Ms. Kang—” Wonyoung says in a thin voice. She didn’t imagine this special day would take a drastic turn. She awkwardly laughs, because what else can she do? As rich as she is, she can’t pay a crazed scientist to implement a memory-erasing chip in these people’s brains. The event is officially ruined.

And it’s all your fault. 

Still, she generously steps in front of Hyewon to help. Similar to every attempt to salvage her dignity, it’s useless. The ambassador she relied so much on is already walking away. She’s leaving everything behind and won’t look back. Tonight is a night of many firsts, and right now, this is her first time retreating.

Aside from the sounds of phones and camcorders, all that’s left to hear is the furious clicking of Hyewon’s heels. Her strides are short and quick.

One step, five steps, ten steps… then thirteen.

It takes a total of thirteen steps for Hyewon to exit and come to you.

You couldn’t be an unluckier dead man.

-

Hyewon is the grim reaper. She wields fury instead of a scythe, wears now defective clothes instead of a dark cloak. The imminent loss of life is frightening regardless of being faced with a pretty woman. Anyone would get on their knees and resort to the unthinkable to experience this with the celebrity right now. So why are you as cold as a corpse?

“You.” 

One word is enough to make you want to die early.

You look forward while your steps go backward. Your feet can pave the longest reversed path and you’d still be left with no escape. Hyewon is faster than you are. The rest of the staff are in the crowd or in another room; they can’t help you. Nobody can tell her to stop. 

You doubt she’d listen anyway, and you know because you’re looking in her face: the face of death. Gone is the blasé mood surrounding her, the mystery in her that people would pray rosaries to venerate. What’s taken its place is an Ares-born wrath that’s at odds with her Aphrodite visuals. Her eyes are large with anger and short angry rasps leave her mouth. 

“Ms. Kang,” you say, your words a mute plea. “Really, I apologize—” 

“Shut the fuck up.” 

Hyewon’s forearm knocks into your neck and catapults you to the dressing room door. The wood gives way, much to your horror. You barely make it on the plush chair with how your feet struggle to keep upright. 

She looms over you hauntingly, tall in her black heels. It’s a reminder that she really is above you in everything: positions, status, wealth—

Intimacy? 

Why is she straddling you? You don’t know what you’re supposed to feel, much more where to look. Adding to her center literally being seated above your crotch, she didn’t even bother to fix her wardrobe malfunction. There’s no might left in you when her fingers curl into your collar and tighten it up to your neck. 

“You little shit.” She coils the fabric around your throat harder. Wracked coughs fight their way out of you. “An incompetent one, too. This is all your fault.”

Her voice is rougher when she’s angry. It’s like she has a switch that she clicks on and off to be what she has to be: the Kang Hyewon everyone idolizes; and the one people would be afraid of. It doesn’t take a wicked guess to figure which one you’re encountering now.

“Ms. Kang,” you say weakly, “please.” 

You inhale raggedly through your nose. Hate how comforting her expensive perfume is to your senses when she’s doing everything but making you at ease. Hate how attractive she is. Hate how you ruined the day that was supposed to change your life forever. Hate how a small part of you doesn't hate being under her. 

For others to understand you, they need to put themselves in your shoes. If an A-list star who’s as gorgeous as Hyewon was snugly seated on their lap, wouldn’t they feel the same? Wouldn’t they feel the stir in their pants, the heat in their chests?

You’re fucked in the head. But she is, too. You’re a match made in the depths of hell.

“I-I can explain.”

Your pulse beats beneath her palm. Its faltering rhythm brings cruel satisfaction to her, making her face spread into a wicked smile. 

As Hyewon’s almond eyes close into tyrannizing slits and her lips pull at the ends into a closed smirk, you realize why she rarely grins. You’re fucking terrified. It’s a simper reserved for little satisfaction and great anger. How can a woman be this beautiful yet this cruel?

“Explain then,” she allows. The ampleness of her lips has little distance to your mouth. “But if you think for one second I’m letting you go, you’re as dead as your career.”

Your career never started. You were young once. You had dreams of making yourself known and making your family proud. If today never happened, if your needle seamed the thread just a bit tighter, you still would have had a chance to go on. 

Now you’re neither young nor old, with neither a future or past.

Your dreams are broken, just like her clothes.

“Please, Ms. Kang. I was in a rush. I didn’t think it would undo like that.”

She laughs. It’s another rare occurrence that scares the shit out of you. It transforms into a sarcastic little scoff when she meets your eyes again. “I gave you days. I gave you a fucking chance to prove your worth when I could’ve hired any dickhead out there. And what did you do? You screwed it up.” 

With each word she spits, your collar wrings around you more compactly. You feel hot and breathless but to Hyewon, your skin is deadly cold to the touch. Nevertheless, she doesn’t let up.

“I’ll pay for the damage,” you offer bleakly. “I’ll apologize. I’ll admit that I was wrong to… hahk, to the media.  Just please don’t blacklist me.”

She shakes her head. “That isn’t enough.”

It isn’t? What could you do? You’ve already said you’ll pay more than you can to amend. You told her you’d go to the press and bare your wrongdoings. What else does she want? She already has everything.

“You wanted to see me naked, didn't you?” Hyewon snarls. “You planned it all out.” 

You choke, and it’s not because of her hands digging into your flesh. “N-no! I swear—”

In the olden days, prophecies were told by an oracle. People would go on quests and seal their fates in accordance with them. Now, they’re in the little things, like jokes that suddenly bleed into reality, and, in your case, deja vu.

You say deja vu because you know the sound of ripping fabric all too well. 

It interrupts your words and catches you by surprise. Hyewon has wrenched apart the buttons of your shirt down to your stomach. The band of your underwear peeks out above your pants, as well as the stomach you haven’t taken the time to tone in a while.

“There,” she says. She slinks down your lap till her knees touch the floor and she’s tearing your pants, too. More buttons are sent flying in the air. “Now we’re both naked. Isn’t that what you wanted? To get to say that you fucked Kang Hyewon?”

Your pants add to the pile of clothes and buttons on the ground. You can’t even blush or protest; Hyewon is unstoppable when she’s angry. Her soft hands, unlearned in the ways of hardship, somehow have the strength to cut and slice and pull at your clothing. She’s not leaving one speck of fabric on for modesty. 

“I, I don’t want to fu– to have sex with you, Ms. Kang.” 

“Baby.” Hyewon deadpans, laughing a little as she traces the curve of your cheek. “Everyone wants to fuck me.”

She takes off her shirt and tears off the nipple tapes. Her pretty brown nipples are uncovered, and you can’t stop staring. Her body is a model of perfection in every category. You’ve got her flat tummy, curved waist, wide hips, and breasts that really should have a warning sign lest you harm yourself looking at them. Unfortunately, they don’t have a warning label, and Hyewon catches your wandering eyes.

“Fucking pervert.”

You look away, but there’s nowhere else to stare, so you say, “No, please, I didn’t… no, I didn’t—”

“I know what I saw.”

“I’m sorry, I really am.”

“That’s not how you say it.” Hyewon suddenly wraps her hand around your stiffening cock. Her squeeze is painful. “You sit there, bow your head, and say: ‘Sorry, mommy.’”

You’re flabbergasted. “What?” 

You yowl when she squeezes harder and starts to pump you to full mast. It’s a painful pleasure, a guilty danger. Hyewon’s eyes trained on you are even more so. 

“You heard me. If you want to save your career, do as I say.”

You whimper into the eerie silence as the woman curls her fist around your member as if she were choking it. How did you land into this situation? How were you so fucking stupid that you thought a week would be enough to finish the piece?

Now you’re here, in this enclosed dressing room, with a celebrity cruelly torturing your penis and demanding that you call her mommy. Look to the right then to the left and see that no one’s coming to your rescue. This is the real world, and as absurd as it is, you’re on your own.

Hyewon’s fingernails threaten to pierce the sensitive skin. “Be a good boy,” she growls.

“Fuck, I’m sorry, mommy.” 

(You mean it, you mean it, you mean it.)

“That wasn’t so hard. But I’m not done with you just yet.” 

She leans forward. Your face twists while she wraps her soft tits around you. Her cleavage is so deep, so full that your length is completely lost in it. You moan embarrassingly, and it’s too late to cover your mouth when she’s already smirking. 

“Because you wanted to see my tits so bad,” she says, rubbing her tits in opposite directions on your member, “I’m gonna fuck you with them. I don’t care if you cum like a little bitch or not; I’m not stopping.”

You’re starting to leak. Hyewon’s sweat combined with your precum lubricates you and allows for more delicious, slippery friction. She pushes herself up and down repeatedly, continuously trapping your cock between her amazing boobs. She could do this forever. On the other hand, you’re close to losing it.

“I’m not gonna stop. You brought this upon yourself. You understand me, don’t you?” 

“Yes.”

A deserved silence. Her eyes speak of an immediate death that follows a wrong answer.

Close your eyes. You know what you’re supposed to say. “Yes, mommy.”

Strangely, she’s exactly the type of woman who deserves that title. Her stony expression doesn’t evaporate from that beautiful face although sweat’s started to roll down it from how mercilessly she titfucks you. She shows no signs of sympathy for your situation. Why would she when she’s accustomed to control, and you’ve just taken that from her? You took her control from the people who’ve made her famous. This is your punishment.

Each pleasured expression you make draws a haughty smile from her. It’s as inspiring as critical acclaim to her, for she cups her tits tighter around your shaft and pumps away. You’re her toy for tonight. If she can’t regain her control over the public, she’ll show you why she deserves to have it:

One, she’s tireless. 

Her lower lip is under her teeth as she spills effort into persecuting your cock. She’s unblinking—she’s too focused on your reactions to close her eyes. It’s not like she’d care if your reaction is violent or pained or good. Hyewon would still go on fucking you.

“Of course you like this.” Spit covers your cockhead, a sign of her distaste. “You perverted virgins are all the same.”

“I’m not perverted, mommy.” 

“What’s next? You’re gonna tell me you’re not a virgin?”

“I’m, n-not a vir—”

“Don’t make me laugh.”

She continues grinding her pillowy breasts on you. Their undersides touch your balls while her nipples brush against your stomach. Whatever move she does makes you shiver. 

If you had no escape from the enigma that is Kang Hyewon, neither did your cock. Her bust makes sure of that. It surrounds it as if determined to suffocate an ejaculation out of it. The precum from your tip just isn’t enough.

Two, she doesn’t rely on anybody.

Nobody told her to fuck you. Nobody told her to strip and use you. Those are the choices she made by herself, and she’ll be damned if she doesn’t perform them with dedication. She doesn’t need anybody’s help in ruining you when she can do it herself.

So she does. Hyewon sinfully lets saliva drip from her chin and onto her chest to help speed up what’s already a vicious pace. The cold drool makes you hiss. Her warm breasts are both a reprieve and retribution. They carry out soft comfort but give out your quick punishment at the same time. It’s funny to think how they’re as versatile as she is. 

Three, she’s the only one who’s ever made you cum like this.

“Mommy!” The word was never intended to be said. But it’s unavoidable; Hyewon’s too hasty, and it’s becoming too much. You can’t hold back on letting her know her ownership of you.

You can’t hold back the messiness of your cum as well. Bursts of white jet her chest and her neck. You whimper to your wits’ end and she doesn’t stop in spite of it. She keeps overstimulating you till the leak of semen becomes a mere dribble.

Hyewon climbs on your lap again, her vagina placed just in front of your spent shaft. “You’re getting used to it, huh?”

Your eyes are on her, as everyone else’s are when she’s under the lens of a camera. You’re horrified; almost every part of her torso is covered with your cum. Her tits are coated grandly with strong splashes. The white liquid drools down her tummy, then to her jeans.

You just came on Kang Hyewon.

Push her away, cursing quietly. You’ve no reputation left to save now. No dignity, no image, nothing. You should have fought back. A junior stylist shouldn’t be getting intimate with a superstar. 

“Ms. Kang, I should go,” you stammer. “This wasn’t supposed to happen.”

None of this was supposed to happen. You wish you could have turned back time and stopped yourself from going to fashion school. If you didn’t go, you wouldn’t have gone on the path of designing and wouldn’t have accepted her invitation to design for her and Jang. It’s all so fucked up that you’re actually reconsidering religion.

Hyewon considers this. To your relief, her professional tone returns. You’re able to breathe now. It’s over.

“You’re not gonna help me clean up?” she says finally.

“Oh… yes, I’m sorry.”

There’s no tissues or washcloths around. You have to be resourceful. It’s painful wiping up something so inappropriate with the shirt you designed, but it’ll do. The semen embeds into the denim during your dutiful clean-up. It’s humiliating—the only thing that comforts you is that, after this, you and Hyewon will part ways and never speak again. You both have something to hold over the other. Keeping your mouths shut will keep you safer than sorrier.

More worries surface. Did someone hear or see you? Are there hidden cameras here? You’ll have to inspect the place, especially after you think you don’t remember Hyewon locking the door.

“Thank you.” Hyewon crosses her arms and looks down at the stained vest that started all of this. “Now suck your cum out of it.”

You want to cry. This is far from over. You’re not done here, and you won’t be until she says so.

She cocks her head. “I paid for it, and I don’t want flaws,” she says matter-of-factly. “So you either suck your filth out now or I might just drop the Somun magazine editor a visit.”

Stare at her with tear-filled eyes. What can you do?

Attach your lips to the blemished denim. Suck on it forcefully. The taste brings more tears and some even slide in pathetic drops down your face. How did it all come to this? The amount of hard work you put in school surely did not earn you this, right?

You were raised too soft. Maybe hanging out with the rebellious boys back in elementary would have saved you her domination. You could have negotiated with her, maybe even argued that you weren’t allowing this to happen to you. But those happen in parallel universes, where you’re a little stronger, a little wiser. Here, you’re just a man who’s not particularly excellent. 

“Good job,” Hyewon says. “I guess you’re not that much of a lost cause.”

Her backhanded praise is sweet to your ears rather than mocking.

She clicks her tongue. “All that cum should have went in my pussy, you know.” 

You hang your head to hide your blush. You’re glad thoughts aren’t visually presented. Otherwise, Hyewon would put you down further. 

Hyewon places a finger below your chin and tilts it up. You’re forced to meet her eyes. There comes all the hate again. It pours into your heart freely like a fountain. It’s not hate for her, but for yourself. If you didn’t crumple that easily for women like Hyewon—women who like control and give orders and get a kick out of humiliating other people—maybe a whole other fate would have been in store for you.

Fright always gives way to yearning. She’s a bitch who thinks too highly of herself, although understandably so. She hurt you so much and through it all, you still want to hear her praise you.

She smiles. 

Yep, Kang Hyewon is irredeemably, irrevocably evil.

“And you owe me a whole lot of it,” she says, and adds, in a sickeningly sweet voice, “baby boy.”

No horror film can scare you like she does. She’s a phantom of beauty and power who will haunt you forever. All this could be done and you’d still think about her. You’ve become another one of Hyewon’s fanatics who allows her to do anything and everything to them. 

Hyewon shoves you on the dressing table. The cold white surface cools your skin, but you know it’s about to get heated soon. She’s spanned her legs over your hips again. Her aggressive hands grip your shoulders. Somehow, you never want them to leave your touch. 

Then you’re kissing her. The other way around, you mean—Hyewon initiates it by closing the distance and biting your lip. She’s a starved kisser who devours you like a wolf. Her tongue curls around yours and she dives in deeper. You’re deprived of any breath, any source of oxygen. Part your lips to kiss her back, but she’s already locked her mouth on them.

Hyewon sweeps her hair back, readying herself for the final act. If mirrors could blush, you have no question that they would upon seeing her. Attractiveness is a natural thing to her—you can see it in the sway of her arms, the thickness of her thighs, and the way she carries herself. She acts like she’s entitled to everything, and that includes your cock.

She’s too fucking hot that you’d ignore all her cons and give it up to her.

She knows that. She circles her core around your tip. You moan immediately. She feels so good, and you’re not even inside her yet. 

“You like that?” she sneers after she pulls away. “You like my pussy on your cock?”

She grinds her slit along your cockhead. Her moans are surprisingly sensitive, high in pitch and airy. You’re granted exclusive listening to them when you hit her clit. She moves it there particularly, because those moaned questions she asked you are just for her own ego. She only cares for her own pleasure, and it just so happens to be ignited by a weak man whose type is crazy, unhinged women. Whose type just so happens to be her.

She’s so wet that sounds of drenched squeaks fill your ears. You’re nothing else except certain that she really, really gets off on being such a bitch. Her wicked leer couldn’t ever fade from her face, not if you keep flashing those exhausted needy expressions.

“Answer me,” Hyewon says. She glides her fingertips from your broad shoulders to your neck. A threatening grip, a deadly fate. “You know mommy doesn't like to be kept waiting.”

“Yes, mommy.”

“Do you want me to ride your cock, hm?” Every fragment she speaks makes her choke you harder. She’ll send you to heaven then hell, where you’ll meet her all over again. “Do you want me to keep you inside me until I’m all done and satisfied?”

“Yes… oh fuck, please!”

“I fucking thought so.”

She sinks herself down in one go. You cry out. Hyewon’s tight pussy welcomes you and traps you right up to the hilt. The hard grip of her cunt disallows you a break; her pace is one of anger that’s unrelenting and harsh. 

Her thighs crash down on your lap and rise, a cycle that never ends. You’re left even more breathless by her soft breasts smothering you. It’s the best way to go out. They bounce marvelously in front of your face, your nose pressed to the little space between them and your mouth kissing wherever it can. You lick at her tits until you’ve licked all the cum that might have remained on them. 

Your lips attach themselves to her nipple. As an effect, the star’s cunt clamps around you with the hold of a guilty pleasure, a taboo vice. It doesn’t intend on letting go unless you decide you want it to go. But you have the feeling that your probable pleas won’t budge Hyewon’s heart. 

“Mommy’s baby boy,” Hyewon says. Her tightness grows and so does the volume of her heavy gasps. “Mommy’s slutty baby boy who’d do anything to get this pussy.”

You want to tell her that what she said is far from the truth. You didn’t want to cause a wardrobe malfunction. You didn’t want to anger her. But now, when presented with the heat of her impossibly wet vagina, you realize you actually would. You try to meet her expectations, nursing on her nipple and guiding her movements with your hands on her wide hips. What you want is for this to be enough, but it just isn’t. Hyewon always wants more.

You can see it in the crash of her butt on your thighs, the shouty cries that she lets go of, the grip on your neck that she doesn’t. A woman accustomed to the scrutiny of the public eye would never let a strand of her hair go knotted. But when it comes to punishing people, to making them the accessory she carries, she doesn’t care anymore. Her usually prepared and counted movements become frantic. Her quietness isn't a  case of the current times when she’s using you as her little fucktoy. 

Kang Hyewon is a mess, and you are, too.

“Mommy, mommy, mommy!” Your yells crack and fade—she doesn’t.

Hyewon doesn’t let up. Her fluttering walls make sure to leave your legs stagnant. You can feel her manicured nails scrape your skin and her thin legs hug your hips. The hours she spends in the gym can’t be that long for her stamina to remain this strong. Maybe she has a personal trainer, a healthy diet. Maybe she owns some weights around the house.

Maybe she owns you.

“You sound pathetic. Just keep sucking those tits.” She removes her hand from the base of your neck, but leaves you asphyxiated anyway when she pushes her face into her breasts. 

The mirror bears your combined weight. You try to lift your head. Hyewon chases your movements. You’re forced to inhale through your nostrils, taking in her powdery perfume and lightly sweaty scent, and keep your mouth busy on her boobs. 

You flick her nipple with your tongue. She holds you to her chest and promises no escape. To be fair, you could stay here, smothered by her breasts forever. You’d have little complaint when they’re heavy and soft and sweaty. Your mouth stays attached to them and brings her on the road to orgasm.

“Greedy little boy,” Hyewon scoffs. “You’re about to cum, aren’t you? I bet you held it out just so I could keep riding you.”

Your cock feels sore already. Although her insides are warm and soaked enough for the entering and leaving to be slick, you’ve been trying to hold back for so long you think you’ll cry. You have to tell her. Perhaps it’ll lessen her anger. 

“I’m gonna cum, please, mommy.”

She cruelly bounces faster. Her hips are that of a veteran dancer’s, grinding to and fro and rotating. You’ve figured it out: the reason why she’s never had a dating scandal is that no man would be able to handle her. She’d drain him nightly. She’d treat him like a sex toy to use when she pleases. Everyone wants to be hers, but no one is ready for her.

“Do you deserve to cum inside this perfect pussy?” she asks. She splays her lips and grinds upwards. You groan loudly. “You’re lucky if I even spit on you. What makes you think you can explode in mommy?”

“Please, I’ll do anything!” You tighten your core to hold it back. It’s useless. Your orgasm is coming anytime now, and Hyewon won’t let it happen. “Mommy, let me cum, mommy, please!”

She slaps you across the face. Why did the sting turn you on? You’d argue her words sting more. “You made me look like a cheap slut out there!” Hyewon shouts. “I gave you a chance and you ruined it, you little shit. So now you have to earn your fucking worth!” 

Her riding becomes intense by the minute. She was angry earlier, and now she’s furious. You’re her canvas for a fuming painting. But in her eyes, you’re not a masterpiece. She’ll do away with you to the point of destruction. You’re very near to crumbling.

“I’ll do anything, please!”

You’re desperate. Your stomach’s starting to ache from the violence. You can’t quite feel your legs. All you feel is an impending heat that squeezes your insides. Your hips jerk needily and tears fall from your face. This is the first time you’ve felt this humiliated and aroused. Something about Hyewon makes the two emotions merge and leaves you wanting more.

Hyewon’s close to cumming, too. She’s shaking as her chaotic bounces are sloppier than before. “Say it, say you’re my little boy toy! Say you’re a slut for mommy!”

You’re a quivering body beneath the celebrity. You’re letting her use your cock and choke you and slap you, all without repercussions. There’s only one kind of man that would let someone do that to them. You can’t believe you’ve become one.

“Yes, yes, mommy owns my cock!” you scream, nodding over and over. “I’m her toy and she can do w-whatever she wants to me, I won’t mind!” 

Her juices roll down your cock and wet your pubic area. She’s spiraling out of control. The only thing she can control is you, making you say the most humiliating things. Her wild eyes lock onto yours, and through them you could finally see some backstory: Kang Hyewon was born into wealth and control, and she’ll die with them, too. She’ll always fight to have them when they’re taken away from her. She isn’t afraid to cross limits.

“Yes, yes, yes! More!”

“I only want mommy’s pussy even if I don’t deserve it! I only do what she says, I’ll give up everything to be mommy’s plaything, please!”

When she cums, she looks frenzied, shaking all over the place and spasming around you. Her cries of pleasure become erratic. They almost sound not human. A human would not dare do what she does to you. She fucks you like an animal, frightens you like a supernatural phenomenon, and moves like the waves of the sea.

Kang Hyewon is out of this world. You’re an unnamed rock floating in the galaxy she navigates.

You bust just the second she removes herself from you. Abashing strings of sticky whiteness land all over yourself. They’re paired with needy groans that you can’t stop even if you wanted to. 

Hyewon observes your ejaculation unamusedly. She takes a step backward when a jet of cum sprays in her direction. Look down at yourself—look down at your lap and the table blotted with your orgasm—and think of how dirty you are. You’re so dirty and pitiable that you came all over yourself, like you just masturbated in front of her. That’s why she doesn’t want to touch you.

“Y-you didn’t let me cum inside,” you say disappointedly. You did everything, said everything, and risked everything for nothing. An orgasm isn’t worth it when it isn’t done inside Hyewon.

“Like I said,” Hyewon replies, apathetic, “you don’t deserve it.”

Stare at her. It’s through staring at her with surprise that you realize you’re dirty on the inside, too. Hyewon can live her life secludedly and fade from the industry. She can leave this country, reinvent herself, marry somewhere, and you’d still be thinking about her. You’d always think of this night that left her appearance and yourself ruined.

That’s her charm. She’s permanently going to be in your mind—you’ll always picture her wet cunt, her alluring breasts, her beautiful face. You’ll strive for her again and again while she doesn't even care if you live or die.

Women like her… why do they have to be who you want?

“You have no future in this industry,” she continues. 

She pulls her jeans up her legs and slips the button through the hole. Oh, you really will remember this night. You see you and Hyewon in the little things. She searches through the closet for a spare shirt. Watch her slim fingers that previously wrapped like ribbons around your throat now wrap around a hanger. She slips her arms through the tweed coat and seals it around the front.

“But your drawings aren’t… horrible,” she says. That’s the best compliment you can get from her. You know not to expect more. She shrugs as she closes the buttons together. “Maybe you’ll end up as a painter.” 

A painter? You’re a fashion designer, not Van Gogh. Dresses and pants are your forte. You can’t switch to a whole new job when sewing is what you know.

Your heart sinks. You really broke the first step to a career you worked your whole life for. It’s just not your path to take anymore. 

Hyewon looks around for something to write with. She settles for the eye pencil lying on a table. She forces you to open your palm and writes something on it. She closes your fingers above it.

“There you go. Consider this a farewell gift.”

She came into your life fast and she exits it just as fast. You can’t help but feel a strange sense of yearning. After all she’s done, you don’t want her to go. Why do you despise her departure when you prayed for it earlier?

Who would take you now?

You sigh. Peek at your hand curiously. In tidy handwriting, Hyewon’s message says:

KIM MINJU - CURATOR

XXX - XXX - 2001

[rafeyscurtainbangs]

Breaking Dishes - Rafe Cameron One Shot

+18 Minor DNI

CollegeStudent!Rafe x CollegeStudent!Reader

🪄 re-uploaded because I had to make a new account

⭐ republished ⭐

+18 Minor DNI

🪄 Warning: SMUT, lots of pet names, lovey Rafe, friends to lovers, oral (female receiving), oral (male receiving), unprotected p in v

📖 Rafe’s best friend helps him make the best of his buzz cut era and he gets whatever he’d like in exchange.

✨"Do you think about me a lot, y/n?" He breathes.

"Yes," you press out the word through a moan.

"And you wanted to know what my hands could do. Didn't you? I've seen the way you look at me," he taunts. "Are they doin' it for you, Y/N?" He works you a little harder.✨

2.8k (<- mostly smut)

Readers POV:

“It hurts.”

“Does it hurt? Or does it itch? There’s a difference.

"Both, Y/N… This is fuckin’ stupid.”

“No. Nah. Nope… What was stupid was the fact that you, a grown-ass man, didn’t know how to do his own laundry.”

“That’s what you’re for.”

You flick your eyes from his hair to the mirror, catching him with your death stare. “Keep going." He gives you a shit-eating grin, making you fight off a smile of your own.

"This has to be done." He looks at his hair in the mirror, the bleach altering his dark blonde buzz to an icy white.”

“Almost," you sing, running your polished nail through the bleach, eyeing your work.

"And I get whatever I want if I do this. Yeah?”

“Anything you’d like.”

Anything.

It started simply with you and Rafe. He looked like a pouty little man-child, holding his Ralph Lauren polo by the shoulders, his privilege showing as he eyed the streaked bleach stain across the front. This sort of shit had gone on for days. First, it was no detergent, then fabric softener only, followed by straight bleach on the third day. He looked pathetic, desperate to accomplish this simple task. You helped him on the fourth day, sparking a friendship in the process, making your first year at college a little easier.

There was so much stuff he just didn’t know how to do… Stuff that he could fully figure out on his own, but if he did… Then, he wouldn’t need you. And both of you knew that.

There was a spark. There always was. But this time, it was a loaded exchange. You do this for me, and I’ll do anything you’d like, Rafey.

“Purple shampoo?” He mumbles.

“I’m being proactive. Gotta tone it. Don’t question it,” you giggle, emulsifying the shampoo, watching the suds and bleach swirl down the sink. “Gah… Looks so fucking good." He grunts in reply. "Stay here." You run over to the rack, grabbing a fluffy white towel. "Stop!”

“What? Why? It’s my hair, Y/N. Jesus fuck.”

“‘Cause… It’s a surprise," you practically growl out the words through your excitement, swathing the towel around his head, pawing out the water.

"What am I gonna do if this looks like shit?”

“It won’t. It won’t," you smile. "What are you gonna tell Topper?" 

"That I lost a bet. I don’t know. You’re takin’ advantage of me, y/n.”

“You’re the only person I know with a buzz cut, Cameron. It fits your aesthetic. Lean into it.”

“I’m not leaning into shit.”

“Stand up.” You feel your cheeks redden as Rafe rises from his hunched-over position in the sink, his muscular frame bare, just a pair of gray sweats on his tight body. “You blushing, Y/N?" He asks as a cocky smile spreads on his lips. You bite yours, casting your gaze away as you try to collect yourself. "I look that good. Huh?" He taunts, hooking his finger under your chin, guiding your gaze to his. You stare into reach beautiful baby blues, feeling your heart start to race.

"Yeah, Cameron.”

He bites his cheek, holding back an all-too-wide smile as his cheeks redden as well. You reach up, tapping the high point of his face, silently calling him out. “Got me," he whispers, making your heart flutter. "Alright… So, can I look?" You smile and nod. Rafe turns on his heels, eyes widening as he takes himself in. He goes through all the emotions at once, landing on a meh. His lip tugs slightly, shoulders shrugging in acceptance."It’s not that bad…”

“I love it," you praise, smiling brightly back at him.

"You’re way too fuckin’ excited about this, Y/N.”

“Nah… You wouldn’t get it.”

“M'Kay. What now?” He cops a slight attitude, unenthused with the rest of your request. You snatch your phone out of your pocket, flicking to your camera, turning it on record. “NO!" He rips it out of your hand, turning it off before passing it back.

"What…" You pout.

"The fuck do you have to record this for?”

“Me!”

“What are you gonna do with it, Y/N? This goes nowhere.”

“It’s just for me, Rafey. Jesus Christ. Calm your tits.”

“Don’t tell me to calm my tits," he huffs. "I’m so fuckin’ serious, Y/N.”

“I promise,” you answer earnestly. “And, you have to say the thing.”

“I forgot.”

“Bullshit.”

“When?” He crosses his arms before his chest, his hip popped slightly.

“After I start the song, of course,” you tease. “Alexa play Breaking Dishes by Rihanna.”

“This is weird,” he snips, looking down at you disgustingly.

“It’s alright, baby girl. You don’t have to get it.”

“Don’t call me baby girl, Y/N,” he huffs as the song starts to build.

“Fine. Alright, Rafey. Lights, Camera, Action.”

“A man, a man, a ma-a-a-an…”

Rafe rolls his eyes and sucks his teeth, throwing his arms to his sides. His ab muscles flex more than before, making you squeal internally. Fuck, he looks good.  Your eyes widen, threatening him with your glare to say his fucking line. “Snow always lands on top.”

“Ah! Yes, Rafey!” You press the little red button, ending the recording, letting out a delighted squeal before jumping into his arms. His eyes fall down your body, roaming back up nice and slow. Rafe’s gaze gets stuck on your lips, wetting his own, tension building between the two of you as you wait to see if he’ll ask for what you both want.

“You know, Y/N… I wouldn’t do this shit for anybody else," he mumbles. 

"I know," you smile. "So, what do you want, Rafe?" You ask, drawing his focus back to your gaze.

"Helped you set up that big mirror last week," he rasps.

"Mhmm…”

“Wanna fuck you in front of it, Y/N." You feel your stomach flip, your heart instantly picks up pace.

"Oh.”

“That okay?" He asks, leaning in slightly.

"Yeah… That’s okay.”

“You want that?" He smiles; his lips mere centimeters from yours, breathing softly against yours.

"Yeah.”

“Words, Y/N," he whispers.

"I want you to fuck me in front of the mirror, Rafe," you respond, voice hoarse and breathy as your nerves start to get the better of you. Everything fades away as Rafe’s lips crash into yours, taking your breath away, claiming your mouth against his. Heat rolls over your skin. Your body starts to tingle, hands moving from his neck, wrapping around his broad shoulders tightly, drawing him closer. His lips are sweet, just like you expected. A soft moan escapes your lips, landing in his. You feel him smile against your kiss, making you do the same.

"You sure this is okay?" He mumbles between kisses as he walks with you into your bedroom.

”Perfect.“ Rafe’s tongue slips through your lips, greeting yours, rolling softly with your rhythm. Fuck… He draws back from you, looking at the two of you in the mirror. 

"First thing I thought about when you asked me to put this up, Y/N. Been thinkin’ about it ever since.”

“Yeah?" You smile as you look back into his blue jean eyes. "Why do you think I bought it?" His smile shifts to a smirk at the sound of your admittance. Rafe sets you down, making quick work of your clothing, peeling it off between kisses. You bite your lip as your fingers dance over the indentations of his muscles, working down to his waistband, his slutty gray sweats. You work the material over his thighs and down to his ankles. He kicks them off, just a pair of white cotton Calvin’s on his large frame. You take your time, revealing his thick cock inch by inch. His dick springs free, standing straight; a bead of cum gathered on his swollen tip.

His rough fingers ghost over your soft skin. Rafe takes hold of your breasts, pressing them together. His touch lightens, feather-soft circle over your nipples. "Rafe," you whine as you throw your head back. His mouth quickly greets your skin, sucking harshly, skimming and flicking your hardened nipple with his tongue. His hands roam down your body as his lips return to yours. Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy fucking shit. It’s happening. Rafe’s hand disappears between your thighs, making you moan. He runs his finger along your silk. 

"So fucking wet for me, y/n," he hums, turning you to face the mirror. You feel your whole body start to pulse, every nerve firing hot. Rafe’s fingers meet your bud, circling softly. You’d always look at his hands, wondering what they could do. 

"Feels so good," you whine, causing him to chuckle sinfully. Rafe pulls another moan out of your parted lips, his dark gaze matching yours over your shoulder. He adds a second finger, curling it inside of you, thrusting in and out. Rafe moves his thumb to your clit, adding a little more pressure. 

"I’ve always wanted you," He growls, lips grazing your ear.

"Yeah," you mewl.

"Do you think about me a lot, y/n?" He breathes.

"Yes," you press out the word through a moan.

"And you wanted to know what my hands could do. Didn’t you? I’ve seen the way you look at me," he taunts. "Are they doin’ it for you, Y/N?" He works you a little harder.

"Yes! Yes." You cry. Your thighs start to tremble. Rafe’s lips lock on your neck, licking you, marking you as his own. "I’m gonna cum.”

“I know, baby. I know," he whispers against your skin. ”Can you be a good girl and cum when I tell you?“

”Rafe, I… S-Shit.“ Your eyes flick open, resting on him as you fight back your pleasure, Rafe working against you, trying his very best to push you over the holding.

"Cum.”

“Fuck!" You lose yourself, fluttering around his fingers. He continues to please you, toiling harder and quicker than before. Your lips crash into his, cries of pleasure against his mouth. The two of you are breathing heavily. Rafe sucks off your bottom lip slowly.

"I can’t wait to have you, y/n," he groans huskily. ”Fuck. That was beautiful.“ Rafe wraps his strong arms around your waist, holding you tightly. "How was that, baby?” He drawls.

“Fantastic… Holy shit.”

His hands fall down your skin, landing on your hips, turning you before pulling you close. Rafe circles your ass, squeezing you, giving you a little spank. Your urges are too strong. You just can’t resist.

You throw yourself in his arms, lips locking with his. He moans into your kiss, tongue rolling with yours. Your hands grasp the front of his thighs, nails sinking in slightly.

You drag your fingers down his tight body. A smile spreads on Rafe’s lips as you wrap your hands around his thick dick.

“Shit, y/n," he chuckles raspily as you fall to your knees.

"Can I suck your cock, Rafey?”

“Mmm… Mhmm," he groans, a lusty chuckle leaving his lips. ”Hell fucking yes, Y/N.“ You feel your confidence building by the moment. You swirl your tongue on his velvety head, collecting his precum on your tongue. Rafe takes a sharp breath, followed by a loose, drawn-out moan.

"I’ve always wanted you in my mouth, Rafe," you pant. You trace the head of his shaft, lips close, breathing warmly against him. "Do you want my mouth?" You whisper onto his tip, his lashes flutter.

"Ugh, Shit. Yes, y/n," he groans. "I need your mouth on my cock." His voice is coarse and delicious, driving you wild. You flatten your tongue, licking him from base to tip. Rafe’s fingers rake through your hair, his hands gripping the back of your head.

His hips thrust into your mouth slowly, pushing you to see how far he can go. He draws out, your tongue swirls to the tip. "Fuck me, Y/N," Rafe hums. The grip on your hair tightens.

Each thrust is deeper than the next, a soft swirl to his tip. Your eyes start to water. Rafe readjusts his stance, his eyebrows furrowing. Bringing your hands up to his balls, you play with them as well. Rafe bites his lips, grunting with each thrust as he starts to buck his hips into your mouth. You’re choking on his cock, tears streaming down your cheeks. You bring your fingers down to your warmth, pleasing yourself as well.

”Y/n,“ Rafe grunts, taking notice; his breathing increases. "You’re going to make me cum, baby," he sears. He adjusts his stance, thighs quaking. ”Mmm… Y/n. I can’t wait to have you. I’m going to fuckin’ ruin you, Y/N,“ he growls, eyes pinched shut. Hollowing your cheeks, you increase your suction, causing his lips to part. You feel his dick twitch on your tongue. Rafe thrusts into you roughly, his climax spilling deep into your throat. He throws his head back again, holding yours against him as you scratch your nails along his ass. "Y/n, f-fuck," he pants, breathing rapidly. ”Ugh… Holy shit.“ You come off him slowly, eyes set on him. "Best blowjob of my life..”

“Stop,” you giggle.

“Fuck, y/n. I mean it." He helps you to your feet, quickly pulling you in tightly. He presses a kiss against your forehead, breathing rapidly, still coming down from his climax. "Can’t wait to taste you, Y/N?”

“M'so wet…" You hum, fanning the flame. His eyes darken, trailing your curves before tossing you down on the bed. You feel your pussy throb, craving Rafe’s lips; his fingers; his cock. He wraps his arms around your thighs, drawing you toward his face.

You throw your arms above your head, arching your back as his tongue glides through your silk. "Shit," you mewl as you feel the warmth of his mouth, and the whisper of his breath against your sex. Rafe buries himself between your thighs, nose brushing your clit; tongue dipping into your entrance. Your heart starts to race again. You prop yourself up on your elbow, meeting his stare. Drawing your hands up your body, you take hold of your breasts. Rafe moans against your pussy, watching as you play with yourself.

He whispers your name softly against your clit; you toss your head back. Feeling the roughness of his hand against your stomach, working higher. Rafe palms your breast, rolling your nipple softly between his fingers. You feel your pleasure building. Your body moves, grinding your hips to get a little more friction. Rafe’s hand lowers, your anticipation builds. He licks a line up your slit. His fingers toy with your entrance. "Rafe, please," you wail, your thighs widening, pressure building in between. "Ugh… Fuck!" You cry. Rafe sinks two fingers deep, his soft lips sucking roughly. Your thighs start to quiver as he thrusts his digits in and out.

”Can you cum on my fingers?“ He breathes. "Can you soak my hand for me?”

“Yes… Yes.”

“Mmm… My cock’s gonna feel so good sliding in and out of this pretty pussy, Y/N.”

“Yes!" You punch out the word, back arching off the bed. You feel your release, just like he asked, making a mess of his hand as you grip the sheets. You can hear the sound of it. His fingers working sloppily, in and out.

"Baby…" You stutter, relaxing around his fingers, craving more. Rafe grips your hips in his strong hands, tugging you even closer to the edge. You tilt your head up, watching as he takes a grip on his cock, hard and throbbing. Your eyes shift as he guides himself closer. He seizes himself by the base, tapping his dick against your clit. Your thighs tremble with each touch, spurs of pleasure, your sensitivity at an all-time high.

"So fucking wet," he praises. Rafe’s hands shift, taking a harsh hold on the back of your thighs, pressing them to your chest. "Mmm… Hold these f'me," he groans. You relax your head to the side as Rafe runs his tips through your silk, his eyes meet yours in the mirror, a smile spreading on his lips.

His mouth parts, mirroring yours as his cock starts to stretch you out. You let out a soft whimper, your eyebrows knit as he gives you all of him. Every inch pushes you to your limit; your eyes roll back as he draws out, quickly thrusting back in.

Your hands grab his forearms, holding on tightly, drawing him closer, pulling him deeper. "Look at me, Y/N," he moans, his eyes shifting from the mirror, driving into yours. He leans into you, folding you in half, pinning your thighs against the bed as he kisses you deeply. Your tongues intertwine, moaning and blissful cries are exchanged between your lips.

You separate slightly, breathing rapidly, lips hovering close. His skin slaps against yours, your forehead, nestled against his. "You’re so fuckin’ beautiful," he pants.

”God, this feels so good.“

"So good, baby," he echoes. Rafe picks up speed, feeling your walls drawn in around him. His strong hands grip your hips, using them as leverage to drive deeper.

You throw your head back, eyes shut tight as you feel yourself about to fall apart. Your mouth draws open, a string of curses and praise flow freely. Rafe’s lips lock onto your nipple, sucking hard.

"Rafe. Fuck!” Your pleasure releases, your body pulses around his shaft. Your hands reach for him, pulling slightly, tugging him toward your lips. Rafe picks you up swiftly, taking a seat on the bed, his cock still deep inside.

“Are you okay?" He pants with a smile.

"So good… So fucking good.”

You start rolling and grinding your hips on top of him. Rafe starts to bounce on the mattress. His breathing increases; you can tell he’s close. Grabbing his shoulders, you press him down on the bed. Rafe’s hands squeeze your ass tightly, guiding you, setting a rapid tempo. “Fuck… Ugh," he whimpers. "I’m gonna cum.” He takes you by surprise, drawing out quickly, rolling you to your back.

He plunges back in, reaching for air as he grunts and moans incoherent words. “I’m cumming… Shit," he groans as he climaxes. Rafe continues to drive his release deeper. He presses his lips and body against yours, rocking slowly to a stop.

"Holy shit…." he pants, holding you close. Rafe nuzzles himself into your neck, breathing rapidly as he kisses you softly. You sigh blissfully, relaxing into the bed, giving him better access to your skin. His lips work over your neck, moving up to your jaw.

"So…" he whispers.

"So," you giggle, your heart racing rapidly against his.

"I like you, Y/N, if that’s not clear. And that… Fuck. That was so damn good," he groans blissfully.

"I like you too," you cup his cheeks in your hands, kissing him gently.

"And, just so we’re crystal clear, you pictured yourself fuckin’ me and not…" He points to his hair, narrowing his eyes on yours.

"Rafe? No, President Snow. Of course, I pictured myself fucking you and not Rafe Cameron.”

“Brat." He spanks your ass, making you yelp.

"Fuck, Rafe!” You whine as you look back, watching the print shift from white to red.

“Ah, shit. You don’t like it rough, Y/N?" He taunts through a snickering laugh. You lower your lips to him, brushing gently.

"You owe me now, Rafey… Round two. I like it rough.”

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What is your future spouse’s aesthetic?

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Pac Summary!

🍊Your future spouse's aesthetic.

🍊How they feel about it in the future or in the present moment.

Moodboard | Divider

Pile I

Your future spouse's aesthetic. 

As I was shuffling, nothing came out. So I went with the assumption; perhaps they are lost with who they are. They are trying different aesthetics and seeing what makes them happy. I believe having a title like an aesthetic can bring us down if we don’t know what makes us happy, and that is the same with your fs. They are struggling to see what fits their standards of aesthetics.

Reversed nine of wands.

The reversed nine of wands confirms my thoughts. Right now, they are struggling with everything. They remind me of the tower tarot card. This is seen as something negative, but I see it as a breakthrough in life. Because if there isn't a negative situation, then you can never become uncomfortable or grow from the experience. You need those negative emotions for growth even if it’s sabotaging yourself. You become self aware throughout and teach yourself to not be your own enemy. I’m still feeling hopeless energy with your fs. So right now, the aesthetic is baggy clothes. They are struggling to become comfortable with their skin and what they like. They have tried fancy and luxurious suits. They have tried the swag or baddie aesthetic. They have tried sexy dresses, etc. They keep going for materialistic outfits, and intuition says you will meet them in a month or two and help guide them out of that hell hole. So when you do meet, I see them going for a flowy or relaxing aesthetic. It reminds me of a bit of boho and a soft aesthetic. And those who are into men, I see them actually painting their nails. Now, I've seen people associate nail polish on men with the LGBTQ+ community, alternative/emo/punk, etc., but no. Nail polish is about expressing yourself like makeup; the same goes here. 

How does their aesthetic make them feel in the future?

I kept shuffling the cards, but wasn’t able to get anything. Then I realized they wouldn’t feel much about it. I don't see them caring about how other people perceive them because of you. You were able to guide and heal them in a positive manner that made them realize they don't have to try so hard to impress others and that impressing themselves is more important. And you also taught them that materialistic aspects won't last in the long run; appreciating the small things you have in life is important. Beautiful life lessons; thank you for sharing those with them and elevating them into someone they love. So there isn’t a feeling here, but more of a thank you note from them to you.

‘’Thank you for showing me something that I thought was lost. Thank you for being there for me when I struggled and put money, charm, and looks on a pedestal. It was because of you that I realized that those weren’t important. What matters is the inside of us, our soul, and how we actually do things for other people. Without you, I wouldn't be able to understand who I was—I wouldn't be self-aware of the flaws I had, nor would I understand the struggles I put you in when I was so self-absorbed in the fashion world. Forgetting how toxic the industry has been. So thank you for being by my side and allowing my wings to flutter open as I escaped hell and finally met you in heaven. In our heaven.’’

Masterlist.

Pile II

Your future spouse's aesthetic. 

I was seeing a dark, winter night. The wind is flowing around the dead but beautiful trees. Beautiful white snow is raining down from the clouds, and there is a haunted house. Well, that is how the rumors spread, but in that house was a single father with his sweet daughter, trying hard to survive in the winter. Though it was hard to survive time to time with rumors being spread, people coming to throw hate, and such, the only thing that helped them cope was the love they had together. Before, I check what the card is. Intuitively though, they give me the aesthetic of gloomy winter. That softness that comes from the winter days, the excitement that comes out when it’s winter break, and when you want to go to the fireplace and have a nice cup of hot chocolate while being sneaky and adding marshmallows for yourself. The darker days of the winter as the moon glistens over a river. Or when the days become cold you must isolated from your friends. This is what your future spouse’s aesthetic. It’s complex but that’s the beauty of it. They allow people to spread false judgments while they express what they love, their aesthetic. They portray softness while appearing rough, a contradiction that works beautifully like dead trees allowing the snow to pile on top of it. Eventually the tree grows back and blossoms once more. That’s the irony of your fs.

Reversed four of wands.

A smile appeared on my face because the energy matched. Even though it is reversed, it’s a siren (bird form) on an apple tree, as weapons, i believe arrows, are pointing at her and targeting her. Do you see the resemblance? The weapons are the rumors. The siren are the people in the house, or in this case, your fs’s house. And the apples are the love shared with the family. The tree is what your fs holding their family together. Their family has accepted what your fs change in their traditions/culture which has made them happy. Thus causing them being comfortable with themselves and wearing the aesthetic they like despite it being frowned upon. I am getting a conservative family with them, but the family was able to heal because your fs took the stand and changed their views. I heard the family had no idea of the pressure given to their children before everything went down.

How does their aesthetic make them feel in the future?

The first word that popped up in my head was refreshing. The biggest weight came off their shoulders; it will be so rewarding. Everything they wanted has already come their way, and to top it off, you will be their last reward. Their wishes are coming and you are the last wish. They are manifesting for someone like you; you are their dream person, and the thought of being with someone like you makes them go nuts. Think of the craziest TV show character you know and amplify it by 3-5 times. That’s the excitement I feel with them, but with a healthy mindset. It’s just something they have been dreaming about for so long, since their childhood or teenage years. 

Reversed seven of wands.

Yeah, so with the reversed seven of wands, this is about a turning point that will lead to a positive situation occurring in someone’s life. And you are their positive aspect. If they didn’t stand up for what they believed in and speak with such vulnerability and power, then you guys wouldn’t be meeting in three to four months. Everything would’ve been delayed. And as I channeled this, I kept hearing soulmates. I know all (other than the 3-4% who believes it) of you don’t believe it, but that’s what I am hearing. So if it’s not soulmates for you, then it’s a relationship that is meant to be.

Masterlist.

Pile III

Your future spouse's aesthetic. 

Two of wands.

Your future spouse’s aesthetic is daring. They like to try new things, always getting out of their comfort zone. Sometimes, they enjoy pissing other people off because they live in a traditional area. Wearing something that is provocative or very showy bothers the people around them, but for them, it’s similar to adrenaline. I see someone riding on a skateboard wearing ripped jeans, showing their bruised knee. A grin is on their face as they are wearing a crop top, accentuating their curves and body. People look at them with disgust, but all they can see is their reactions. People record them to make fun of them and yet, they do not care. This is your future spouse’s energy. They genuinely don't care what other people think of them unless it comes to you.

Their fashion is fun and bold. It makes you think about them as they stay on your mind. In terms of aesthetic names, I get punk and emo vibes and lots of tattoos or piercings. Someone has vampire teeth, or they add them in. For some, your fs loves wearing spiky boots or making their ponytail in a spiky motion. Others, think of alternatives mixed with cyberpunk. Very wild and bright colors too. They know what they want when it comes to life and their fashion taste, and they are very straightforward about what they dislike too. So when there is a communication issue, they will be upfront about it and you both can resolve it quickly. 

How does their aesthetic make them feel?

Ten of pentacles and queen of wands.

Honestly, they feel blessed that they are wearing what they love. When you live in a traditional area, it’s hard to wear the outfits or do the things you enjoy, but they were able to push past their fears and become confident. Their outlook on life changed drastically, and they became comfortable with their real selves. They also feel thankful for how you will accept their fashion. They felt hesitant around you because they assumed you wouldn’t like their fashion style.

Masterlist.

Pile IV

Your future spouse's aesthetic. 

When I was shuffling your cards, a card flipped by itself, and then it became lost. At first, your future spouse kept changing their aesthetics constantly. They didn't know what looked best with their facial structures. They have a mother who is into cosmetics, so they know how to work well with fashion, but the idea of being perfect has affected their mindset. ‘’Perfectionism is my downfall; I know that, but I am working on it.’’

Reversed strength and reversed the high priestess.

Their mother has always been strict with them. Always putting their imperfections on their child because they couldn't handle their insecurities. So your fs has absorbed what they said onto them, thus causing them to become a perfectionist. The high priestess reversed is focused on trust issues and a lack of personal harmony. Their mother pressure has caused a strain in their relationship, and the amount of projection has made your fs doubt their fashion style. That is why the card disappeared and became lost. That is their energy right now. Their aesthetic is kind of like piratecore mixed with richness. It’s very attractive and will make you feel flush. I see them wearing a corset tank top with a white blouse top, showing their breasts slightly, or they will show their chest and torso in a laid-back way. They will have black pants that are tight to accentuate their body and to match their eyes. They will wear a black steampunk or some type of long jacket with buttons resembling a pirate’s captain. It’s going to fit very nicely. They will leave their hair loose to create that effect. And I am also seeing that sometimes they will switch it and wear a suit while still allowing their chest to show. I'm getting a strong nonbinary aesthetic too. They don't focus on what is feminine or masculine; whatever appeals to them and makes them look attractive in their eyes is what matters. 

How does their aesthetic make them?

Reversed six of wands and the empress.

There is already a huge cliff between their mother, and their fashion focused on piratecore and rich/luxury has drifted them a bit. Their mother isn’t noticing their hard work to find what they like; they are supposed to be into only classy outfits. Everything must be hidden and modest, and they break that. So that has pissed off their mother. The six of wands reversed is about a temporary setback and a lack of recognition for achievements. In the future though, I don't see much of a difference between them so meeting their mother isn’t a likely occurrence. On the bright side, they love their aesthetic, which makes them love themselves more. They are able to rebel against their mother and find comfort in this. The amount of changing things up to fit their mother’s standards killed a part of them, and to be able to gain it back and become resilient is something they are thankful for. They have a strong connection with themselves, and it makes them want to learn how to make their own clothes or design them. But no, this is a hobby and not their major or what they want to have as a career in the future. I also hear that they find themselves to be beautiful now, and a huge weight is off their shoulder. In a way, they are their own mother now (accepting their feminine side and taking care of their inner child), and when you meet, they will prorate a nurturing and mother-like nature. Tranquility is what appeared in my mind; you will feel peaceful around them. A true gemstone amongst the fake ones. 

Masterlist.

[lafemmemacabre]

Goth 101

🦇 tl;dr version for those who prefer that format

Goth is a music-based subculture that started out in the UK in the late 70s/early 80s and spread internationally from there. It spawned from the UK Punk scene, keeping the DIY ethics but turning the music more melancholic, introspective and experimental.

The music genres that the subculture was built around are (dark) Post-Punk, Gothic Rock, Darkwave, Ethereal Wave and a few other smaller subgenres.

While the fashion and other non-musical aesthetics are very prominent and beloved by goths, they're non-essential to the subculture. What defines a goth is the music we listen to.

Our "big 4" bands are The Cure, Sisters of Mercy, Bauhaus and the Banshees. However, 3 out of 4 of those bands are Post-Punk acts (Sisters of Mercy being the exception Gothic Rock band), and while very influential to the rest of the goth music scene, they by no means are the end-all, be-all of what goth music sounds like. The genre has evolved through its over 40 years of existence, creating diverse sounds. Anyone darkly inclined can find something to love, even if it takes a bit of research.

The Dark & Gothic playlist on Spotify is a pretty decent way to get started into goth music. In my old blog I had entire tags dedicated to goth music as a whole, and separately to Post-Punk, Gothic Rock, Darkwave and Ethereal Wave too. I had a few playlists based on popular goth aesthetics here.

The longer description of goth music will include playlists for each bigger goth subgenre, but please keep in mind they're made by me in a way that appeals to my personal tastes for each subgenre. I don't know every band that exists and my personal taste is biased towards the 90s.

Now, to a more detailed introduction to the goth subculture...

🦇 Dark alternative vs Goth

What a lot of people need clarified is that the goth subculture doesn't have a monopoly on the dark alternative world, nor are we the home for everyone sad, spooky and weird who doesn't fit in and might listen to any sort of sad, spooky or weird alternative music.

There are SO many dark alternative music scenes that have nothing or very little to do with the goth subculture. We've influenced a lot of them fashion-wise, but just because they copied us we look alike doesn't mean we're interchangeable.

There's no scale that goes from Prep to Goth and measures how Valid™ your inner darkness is, in which if you're anything below goth then you're a poser and lame. It's perfectly fine and cool to be dark alternative without being a goth. Goth isn't a badge of legitimacy or honor, it's just one specific flavor of dark alternative among so many.

Goth is a very small and obscure subculture despite our superficial hypervisbility (our looks and infamy are hypervisible, what we're actually about is extremely buried underground), and most dark alternative people aren't goths.

🦇 What does it take to be a goth?

There's one rule, and one rule only: LISTEN TO THE MUSIC. You wouldn't call yourself a metalhead without being a fan of Metal music, would you? The same principle applies to goth.

There are many types of alternative subcultures; some examples are fashion-based subcultures, another are lifestyle-based subcultures. A third type of subculture that's very prominent (especially in the West) are music-based subcultures.

Goth is a music-based subculture, just like the metalhead, punk, emo, rivethead/Industrial, hip-hop, rave, K-Pop and grunge subcultures are.

This means that, while the music isn't THE ONLY aspect the subculture has, in order to be a goth you have to listen to goth music, and we have a specific set of music genres that our subculture was built around, so not just anything dark and melancholy will do, as we don't have a monopoly on that, but we do have something closer to a monopoly on a specific sound and musical legacy.

You don't have to listen to goth music EXCLUSIVELY to be a goth, that'd be insane. You don't even have to limit yourself to dark alternative music either. You just have to listen to goth music to a relevant degree and be passionate about it and you're in, the rest is up to you.

This means too that the way you dress has no impact on your validity as a goth, whether you don't have the gothic wardrobe of your dreams yet or you just don't want to dress goth at all. I'm TikTok mutuals with a girl who dresses exclusively in pink-white sweet lolita coords, but who's passionate about goth music. She's a goth, no questions about it. On the other hand, a lot of the influencers you'll see online who look like a lost Addams cousin aren't goths at all, and no house decor or outfit will make them gothier if they don't listen to the music.

🦇 What music counts as goth?

From the previous points I made you probably gathered that Industrial and Metal ⁠– both genres that outsiders usually associate with the goth subculture ⁠– aren't actually part of the goth genre. So, what is goth music?

Goth music developed initially in the UK in the late 70s/early 80s off of dark Post-Punk. Post-Punk itself developed from UK 70s Punk Rock, being also influenced by Glam Rock, experimental electronic music, and many other influences more specific to each band that took part in this musical development (Bauhaus were very influenced by Reggae!).

What characterizes the goth sound are elements such as; being bass-driven rather than guitar-driven (in almost every case), guitars playing more of a decorative or atmospheric role instead of being the main focus (which contrasts starkly against genres such as Metal), preference for voices with a lower vocal range (altos, this is your genre to shine in!), optional use of synthesizers, recurrent replacing of human drummers with drum machines, and common use of lots of reverb and delay effects everywhere for an extra sensation that you're listening to music recorded in a catacomb.

Dark Post-Punk was the starting point of the goth subculture, and from it, all other goth music subgenres developed. Depending on who you ask there's a billion goth micro-genres. In my opinion a lot of those subgenres are rather meaningless (a lot of them are just specific flavors of Post-Punk or Darkwave) but the main 4 subgenres of goth music are:

(Dark) Post-Punk

Gothic Rock

Darkwave

Ethereal Wave

POST-PUNK:

Post-Punk took the standard sound of Punk Rock and its DIY ethics and made the sound more melancholic, romantic, experimental, less angry, and more introspective. Dark Post-Punk in particular was influenced by gothic literature and old horror movies (including their soundtracks, the Banshees created their characteristic guitar sound after the violins in the Psycho soundtrack).

Besides the 3 Post-Punk bands I listed as part of the goth "big 4", there's bands such as Skeletal Family, Twin Tribes, Specimen, She Wants Revenge, Sex Gang Children, Xmal Deutschland, Lebanon Hanover, Cruex Lies, The Secret French Postcards and The Birthday Party.

GOTHIC ROCK:

When goth became slightly more established in sound, Gothic Rock is what happened. Less experimental than Post-Punk, a bit more Rock-based, more decidedly dark and miserable than Post-Punk necessarily is, and finally severed from goth's punk roots. Sisters of Mercy is THE most popular and influential Gothic Rock band; they popularized the use of extremely low baritone vocals and drum machines. Despite existing since the 80s, its popularity peak was in the 90s.

Goth as a whole has its "big 4", but the subgenre of Gothic Rock has its own "big 3", which are Sisters of Mercy, The Mission (UK), and Fields of the Nephilim. Other Gothic Rock bands are Rosetta Stone, Corpus Delicti, Inkubus Sukkubus, Mephisto Walz, Angels of Liberty, Two Witches, Nosferatu, Wisborg and Soror Dolorosa.

DARKWAVE:

Goth going electronic! There's basically two types of Darkwave; the one that's more a combination of Post-Punk + Synthpop (very popular in the past decade), and the one that's more a combination of Gothic Rock + electronic music in general (most popular in the 90s). EXTREMELY danceable, but then again goths can dance to literally anything. This genre has existed at the very least since the second half of the 80s and has never stopped being relevant in the goth scene, save maybe during the Deathrock revival phase.

Clan of Xymox might be the single most influential Darkwave band. There's also The Frozen Autumn, The Crüxshadows, Switchblade Symphony, Collide, Dark, Ghosting, London After Midnight, She Past Away, Drab Majesty and Boy Harsher.

ETHEREAL WAVE:

This genre is heavily linked to Dream Pop, Neoclassical Darkwave and Shoegaze. Like with Darkwave there's basically a few styles of Ethereal Wave, I can pinpoint three; the one that's like, regular Goth Rock/Post-Punk but with a lot of extra delay and reverb and other stylistic choices that make it sound, well, Ethereal, dream-like. There's the type that has lots of Folk influences (be it Medieval/Rennaisance-ish type of Folk or "ethnic" type of Folk), and there's one that's synth-based but, unlike Darkwave, sounds like what ketamine must feel like. This genre has existed since the mid 80s but its peak in popularity and relevancy in the scene was in the 90s.

Dead Can Dance is THE most influential Ethereal Wave band, but there's others such as Cocteau Twins (started as Post-Punk, ended up as Dream Pop and Ethereal Wave), Miranda Sex Garden, Faith and the Muse, Lycia, Claire Voyant, Hamsas XIII, Love is Colder than Death, SRSQ, Black Tape for a Blue Girl and Mors Syphilitica.

What about Deathrock, Gothic Metal and Industrial?

Deathrock is goth's American twin, basically. While in the early 80s in the UK morose ex-punks were playing Post-Punk, in the early 80s in the LA Punk scene morbid and brooding punk kids were playing Deathrock; it's closer to Punk Rock in sound than Post-Punk, being more about being spooky and brooding than about being eerie and romantic. Goth is to vampires and witches what Deathrock is to zombies and werewolves.

To summarize the consensus on Deathrock and its place within the goth subculture; it's rare to find a goth who's not also into at least some Deathrock, and even rarer to find a deathrocker who's not into goth. Personally, I think Deathrock is its own separate though very similar thing, but I don't mind Deathrock being lumped in with goth music.

I made a whole TikTok video on why Gothic Metal isn't a goth subgenre, but in summary; Gothic Metal is a Metal subgenre that was somewhat influenced by goth music in its earliest stage of development, but is for the most part a cross between Doom Metal and Death Metal with lyrics inspired by gothic literature. By adhering to a Metal sound it doesn't fit the type of sound goth music has. The goth influences in Gothic Metal were mostly only present in the earliest bands and a majority of the newer acts are completely disconnected from the goth scene.

As for goth's ties to the rivethead subculture (and thus, Industrial music): We've been sibling subcultures since at least the early 90s. Both very, very small and underground scenes that despite being different, had enough similarities in music, idiosyncrasy and aesthetic sensibilities to comfortably band together for the sake of scene viability. That's why you might hear people talking about the "gothic-industrial scene".

Keep in mind too that 80s and 90s Industrial music sounded very different from how it does now (compare your average Grendel or Combichrist song to your average Skinny Puppy or Die Form song). There was a lot less influence of raver music in the rivethead scene back then, and a lot more influence from 80s dark alternative music and New Wave, which are key influences for the goth scene as well.

As told by goth YouTuber Angela Benedict (goth since 1995), every goth back then listened to at least some Industrial, every rivethead listened to at least some goth music, and they all loved 80s New Wave, so DJs at shared club nights had a very easy time entertaining both audiences simultaneously.

🦇 Trivia & other things to know

The term "gothic Rock" was being used in music journalism as early as to describe releases by The Doors and The Velvet Underground, but the word "gothic" there wasn't so much used to point to a specific type of sound at that stage, it was used to imply the mood of the music and that's not where the subculture gets its name.

We don't know for sure why this subculture began to be referred to as "goth", initially the music was called either New Wave (just a darker and more underground variety of it) or Positive Punk. However, one of the potential roots of this name for our subculture is that it comes from an inside joke from members of Southern Death Cult/The Cult about Andi Sexgang (Sex Gang Children) about how he was a creepy little guy obsessed with the macabre and dark romanticism living at the Visigoth Towers, so they called him a "goth goblin" and if he was a goth, then his fans were goths too.

From the comments that the goth bloggers/vloggers I follow get, apparently it's common for baby bats and people interested in the subculture to think that they HAVE to find a goth "type" to lock themselves into, like "trad goth" or "romantic goth" or whatever else, and if they don't, they're a poser. This isn't true at all. Most goths wax and wane between fashion styles and goth music subgenres. These terms are far more useful to describe aesthetics rather than people or music.

If you ever hear people talk about "1st/2nd/3rd wave goth/Gothic Rock"; that's an (in my opinion) outdated and not too functional terminology to differentiate between "eras" of goth music, 1st wave being between 1975-1985, 2nd between 1985-1995, and 3rd between 1995-? That terminology was used widely when I was a baby bat but not so much anymore.

"Baby bat" is what a lot of more established goths call newbies! It's NOT meant as an insult nor to be condescending. It's a loving cutesy term and while of course most baby bats are very young, it's perfectly plausible to be a very grown adult and a baby bat if they just got into goth instead of getting into the subculture as a teen.

Most goth bands are easily found on Spotify except for more underground ones that haven't been active for a while (I have so many beloved bands and songs that just don't exist on Spotify), but the real goth jackpot is at Bandcamp.

Facebook is still useful for one (1) thing and it's for finding goth events; that's where I've found out about gothic fairs, goth nights and gigs; from the largely popular ones in my local scene to the very underground ones.

The song most of the subculture agrees is THE first official goth song is Bela Lugosi's Dead by Bauhaus, which was recorded as a singular take. It was the first track the band recorded together, too.

The Batcave is infamous nowadays as a huge goth night club in Soho (London) during the early 80s, owned by the band Specimen, BUT as told by the very people who used to frequent the nightclub, the whole thing has been a little overblown and its current reputation is more legend than fact. YouTuber Gothcast has a great video on the subject that was praised by members of Specimen itself!

Most of the most iconic pioneer goth musicians HATE being referred to as goths or to have their music referred to as such. When the term "goth" was first starting to be used to describe our music and scene it was a pejorative used by outsiders and/or mostly associated with the campier and more "low brow" bands (Specimen and Alien Sex Fiend come to mind). Andrew Eldritch from Sisters of Mercy especially hates it, to the point he refuses to even say the word and refers to it as "the G word". Which is hilarious since he sounded the most stereotypically gothy out of the big 4 and looked like this at the time he started to be a piss baby about it:

Goth isn't really a "youth" subculture anymore if you ask people within the scene. Unlike people from many other subcultures, goths have a tendency to stay goth far into adulthood (even if covertly). When you go to any events, besides teens and people in their early 20s, you're gonna see plenty of goths in their 40s and older, a few of them will bring their kids along if the event is family friendly.

Besides the obvious chance of many goths being professional creatives (musicians, writers, artists, etc), for some reason A LOT of goths work in tech and healthcare!

Metalheads headbang, they and punks also mosh. What do goths do to vibe to our music together? We dance! We don't dance the same as non-goths but we LOVE to dance to our music, together or solo. There's no established dance styles to adhere to; it's just letting your body flow to the music. Some goth dancing is very intricate, some of it is very simple, it depends on the goth in question. Just in case, this is NOT like the dance gifs of cybergoths/rivetheads under that damned bridge. Think less that and more Wednesday Addams dancing to The Cramps, or the girl from the Night of the Demons movie. Here's some videos about how goths dance:

We fucking love 80s New Wave. No, Depeche Mode isn't a goth band; yes, you'll have to dig deep to find a goth who doesn't ADORE them. The only one I've come across who disliked Depeche Mode liked Soft Cell instead.

Goth IS international! Not just in the sense that there's fans of goth music basically everywhere, but that there's local goth scenes with their own local goth bands everywhere. Outside of the US + Europe + Canada, there's huge goth scenes all over Latin América (our Deathrock and Post-Punk are at times even popular among 1st world goths), and there's also smaller but still present goth scenes in Africa, Asia and Oceania. She Past Away is very much one of THE most popular goth bands in recent years and they're from Turkey.

The goth scene has always been in friendly terms with the LGBT community. Not only are many of our biggest icons LGBT themselves (the whole band Specimen, AVC from Sopor Aeternus, both members of Diavol Strâin, the vocalist from Male Tears, Cinnamon Hadley, and many more) but plenty of cishet goths (especially the men) embrace gender non-conformity and/or androgyny. In most local scenes, goth club nights are held at gay bars/nightclubs, as they don't tend to have privately owned venues. And either way, at any goth night there'll be tons of gay and gender non-conforming goths no matter where they're held. To varying degrees depending on the locality of the scene, gay and bi people are completely normalized in the goth subculture, and gender non-conformity and androgyny aren't just encouraged, but praised and coveted.

There's goths of any religion you can think of, but Neo Pagans are somewhat over-represented in our community compared to the rest of larger society (for better or worse). Funnily enough, very few goths are actually Satanists of any sort. I'd say the numbers go more or less similar to our local non-goth peers. In the West and westernized countries I'd say it goes; majority culturally-Christian atheist or agnostic goths (usually not militant about it), a few practicing Christians of whichever denomination (usually whichever is dominant in the country they inhabit), the rare but entirely plausible Jewish, Muslim or Buddhist goth, and a bunch of Neo-Pagans. Probably one (1) or two (2) actual Satanist goths per state/province/etc, tops.

World Goth Day is celebrated every year on May 22nd.

"Mallgoth" isn't a type of goth in either a musical or fashion sense. I made another TikTok about it, but in summary; it was originally hurled as an insult towards a very specific type of poser; the American kids in the late 90s and early 00s who imitated how goths dressed and called themselves goths while only listening to Nu Metal and maybe the most mainstream Industrial Metal. They tended to congregate at malls and behave particularly obnoxious to everyone there, further ruining our already delicate image (especially at that time).

Cybergoths aren't really goths either. Their music scene is centered around EBM, which is basically slightly darker and slightly more aggressive raver music that may or may not have Industrial influences. And to be honest they behaved like a rapacious invasive species in goth club nights to the point that they almost decimated the actual goth scene and it took us a while to recover from that.

Goths are sometimes perceived as too self-serious but honestly? We love making fun of ourselves and we tend to have a very silly or dry sense of humor. We're just tired of the same cheap and inaccurate jokes made by people who don't know anything about us. The best jokes about goths will often come from goths ourselves; you can only properly make fun of something you understand well! The few times outsiders get it right though? (Sad to confirm that the South Park goth kids are hilarious and I wish they were in a better show) You'll see goths sharing the SHIT out of it, such as me being obsessed with the goths from Ridonculous Race, or the clip below:

[gyuwoncheol]

Vantage Point | Meet the Characters & Series Masterlist

Status: Begins tomorrow (January 20)!

Pair: Mingyu × f.reader

Summary: Pulling off the "No Strings Attached" arrangement with his best-friend-turned-best-friend-with-benefits was easy, but when a new condition is added onto the mix, Mingyu didn't realise just how much he held onto you when you finally let go.

Genre: College au. BFFs to FWB trope. Fluff, Humor, Angst, Smut [chapters with smut will be indicated and will contain the necessary warnings]

Author’s Note: Please take time to read this before starting the series ☺️

Hello, my darlings! Finally getting round to posting this after missing the commited date last time due to covid. But welcome!!! 🥳 This is the first story to my Snap Shoot universe! Before you get into it, let me just point a few things. This is the first time I'm ever creating a universe with interwoven stories, and while I've done SMAUs before, this is the first one I've done for SVT and the first time I'm also this adventurous about it. It's definitely very different from what I post on here but I'm having lots of fun putting it together. I know it goes without saying, but I'll say it anyway, this is very much a work of fiction. This is an AU. While Korea may be the assumed setting for this series, it is not explicitly defined. I'm also trying to avoid using lots of Korean cultural references (maybe except for food) such as use of honorifics like "hyung". While many of my other works refrain from over-describing oc's physical features, you may find that in this series (and universe), oc's features will inevitably be defined. You'll find that the visuals of the characters and the aesthetic of the photos/social media posts will be Korean/ Asian. It's a SMAU, so i'll have to place photos and these photos must maintain consistent. I absolutely do not mean any ill intention of being non-inclusive (I don't even fit the same aesthetic as oc).

Again, it's a work of fiction, while I want you to relate to oc, kindly also allow me breathing space to build the character. If you feel uncomfortable at any point in the series, you are very much welcome to stop/unfollow. As mentioned, this is a SMAU, but it contains several chapters which are purely written narrations. All edits (texts, social media posts, etc.) were done by me, however some photos (esp those of Y/N) are from the web, if they are yours, please let me know so that I may credit you or remove the photo. The texts are all done on light mode. Deal with it. This follows a FWB trope, expect lots of smut and suggestive content— specific smut warnings will be available in chapters where they are present, along with other necessary warnings. This series will have lots of fluff and lots of crackhead nonsense humor. I hope you guys enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Biggest shoutout to my dearest friend @wongyuseokie who has been nothing but supportive through all of this and through all my dramatic Mingy-induced meltdowns. I love you more than you’ll ever know ♥️

Meet the Characters

Mingyu: Sophomore, studying Film & Photography, yn/Camie's best friend since childhood

Yn: Sophomore, studying Film & Photography with Mingyu, Mingyu's best friend since childhood. Nicknamed "Camie" by her group of friends for her highly concerning camera collection/obsession.

Seokmin: Sophomore, studying Film & Photography, same friend group as mingyu and yn, Mingyu & Wonwoo's housemate

Soonyoung: technically a year older than the 3, but currently a Sophomore with Gyu, Cam and Seokmin after shifting into their major

Wonwoo: Junior, studying Film & Photography as well, Mingyu's guy best friend and housemate in The Man Cave, a brotherly figure to OC, Soonyoung's former classmate in highschool

The Man Cave: shared house near their university where Mingyu, Wonwoo and Seokmin live, and Soonyoung often crashes.

✨Other characters/members will come as the series progresses.

Series Masterlist

To be populated as each chapter is posted. There is no posting schedule. Chapters will just get uploaded as they come.

Teaser

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five 🔞

Chapter Six 🔞

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Tag List!

@strawberryya @idyllic-ghost @septemberskies @ladyblablabla

If you want to be tagged as each chapter comes out, do send me an ask or reply to this post so I could include you in the tag list 😊

[santanasaintmendes]

new york, concrete jungle where dreams are made of

part3! to the cosmic girl records 

¡Cosmic Girl Records!

summary: graduation day! and having the grid in the city for the US GP makes the day 1000x better 

olliebearman x reader & platonic!grid x reader 

fc!: gorgeous girls and couples on pinterest all credits go to rightful owners of the photos used below 

a/n: thank you for everyone who’s shown love to part 1 and 2 of the cosmic girl records!

disclaimer!: there are sensitive jokes that are used in this smau that may be offensive to some people they are all purely used to make the story more humorous. if you have any problems with the jokes that are used please feel free to message me and i will do my best to make sure everyone is happy, thank you!

tg!: swearing, sensitive jokes, carlos and y/n bully lando, if there are any other ones let me know!

wordcount: 1.5k ?

enjoy and i hope it makes you smile/laugh!

liked by olliebearman, bestie1, georgerussell64, lilymhe, alexandrasaintmleux and 4,583,483 others

unfortunatelyy/n: hey upper east siders, 2 days down, 3 to go and im thinkin’. . . more coffee ☕️

view 2,483,322 comments 

 bestie1: I BELIEVE IN US 💪

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 unfortunatelyy/n: i wish i had the brain capacity to 😮‍💨

 user1: wait so now that she’s graduating does that mean no more aesthetic studying vlogs and pics 😨

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 user2: hopefully instead we’ll have photos from inside one of the f1 motorhomes instead 🙏

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 user3: hoping, manifesting and praying 🙏 

user12: the last pic hits hard 😭

 olliebearman: can’t wait to see you this weekend 🥰

 liked by unfortunatelyy/n 

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 georgerussell64: get a room geez 🙄 

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 unfortunatelyy/n: @carmenmmundt get your child off instagram 

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georgerussell64: HEY

 user4: just when I thought y/n couldn’t get any  more relatable she goes and drops this on us 

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 user12: real. 

user5: the fits go hard 💪

liked by unfortunatelyy/n 

 alexandrasaintmleux: more coffee and like 45+ hours of sleep, am i right?

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 unfortunatelyy/n: FINALLY SOMEONE GETS IT 

 user5: what’s she studying?

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 user6: she’s been studying mechanical engineering for the last couple of years, she did karting as a kid and met lando when she lived in England that’s why she’s good friends with them all but she decided to stop karting and pursue mechanical engineering in school 

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 user7: we love hot smart girls 😍

liked by unfortunatelyy/n

 user8: any idea why lando hasn’t been very active on insta lately?

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 user9: maybe he’s busy 

 user10: Y/N A FAN OF GOSSIP GIRL CONFIRMED???

 liked by unfortunatelyy/n

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 user11: not her liking the comment, she’s so real for that 

liked by olliebearman, lilymhe, alex_albon, charles_leclerc, kimi.antonelli, arthur_leclerc and 5,583,483 others 

unfortunatelyy/n: i think. . . i’d step on a lego for you

tagged olliebearman 

 olliebearman: wow, i’m honoured 🥹

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 unfortunatelyy/n: damn straight you are those things hurt like hell 

user1: LEGO FLOWER DATES ARE U JOKING I WOULD DIE 

user2: y/n’s really out here living the life we only dream of 😣

 kimi.antonelli: good job Bearman, i told you it would work 

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 olliebearman: ???? 

 user3: it’s not only me who’s looking at ollie’s arms in the last pic right?

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 unfortunatelyy/n: nope 🤭 

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 user4: HELP MOSQUITO Y/N CONFIRMED???

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 olliebearman: 🤨 

 arthur_leclerc: lego dates, i wish i would’ve thought of that first, if i do it now carla will say i’m copying you 😔

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 olliebearman: sorry man 😔

 user5: guys, any ideas why the 2019 rookies are being less active in y/n’s insta comments 

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 user6: it's not their job you know 

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 user5: yeah i know but it’s still weird right??

lilymhe: STOP STEALING HER FROM ME 😡 @olliebearman

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 alex_albon: I’m right here???

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 unfortunatelyy/n: your point being?

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 alex_albon: oh i hate you 

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 unfortunatelyy/n: grab a ticket and get in line 

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 user8: DAMN POP OFF GIRL 

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 user9: she cooked him 

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 user10: ate and left no crumbs we stan a queen fr

liked by olliebearman, carlossainz55, charles_leclerc, oscarpiastri, georgerussell64, alex_albon, lilymhe and 11,482,973 others 

unfortunatelyy/n: ya snooze ya lose. it’s called defeat, Norris. 

tagged landonorris

view 72,492 comments 

user1: SHE PLAYS CHESS TOO ARE U JOKING 😍

user13: welcome back miss relatable 

user14: im sorry but lando doesn’t stand A CHANCE against y/n 

liked by unfortunatelyy/n 

user15: LANDO’S BACKKKK 

 user2: YES GIRL BEAT HIS ASS 🗣️

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 user3: poor lando 😭

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 user4: there are two types of people:

 user5: i did it. i manifested lando and HE’S BACK IN Y/N’s INSTA 

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 user6: sum goofy ass future telling shit fr 

 landonorris: i let you win on purpose

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 unfortunatelyy/n: OH so you WEREN’T crying and begging for mercy when i was going to win against you for the 5th time? 

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 landonorris:  . . . yes.

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 unfortunatelyy/n: hmmm 🤔

user11: don’t believe him he’s a liar y/n 🗣️🗣️

 carlossainz55: @unfortunatelyy/n how many times did you win against him

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 unfortunatelyy/n: 8 times 😄

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 user7: in conclusion: lando sucks at chess 

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 carlossainz55: very good. i taught you well

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 user12: CARLOS TAUGHT Y/N CHESS?

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 user15: they’re best friends your honour 

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 carlossainz55: @landonorris i see you have not improved 

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 user8: i just KNOW y/n and carlos love to roast lando together every weekend 

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 landonorris: YOU GUYS SUCK 

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 unfortunatelyy/n: and you good sir, suck at chess 

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 user9: sorry lando but HAHAHAHA

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 landonorris:@unfortunatelyy/n  i’m blocking you. 

user10: i bet y/n especially asks lando to play chess just to win against him

liked by unfortunatelyy/n

liked by olliebearman, landonorris, bestie1, lilymhe, georgerussel64, alex_albon, charles_leclerc, carlossainz55, lewishamilton and 8,822,329 others 

unfortunatelyy/n: it all paid off in the end, how did I do it? That’s a secret I’ll never tell, XOXO gossip girl 

tagged bestie1

olliebearman: so proud of you ❤️

liked by unfortunatelyy/n 

user1: the gossip girl references my heart can’t take it, i’m so proud of her 🥹

 user11: SHES GORGEOUS 😍 Ollie better know how to fight 

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 olliebearman: 😅

bestie2: CONGRATULATIONS GORGEOUS 😘

liked by unfortunatelyy/n

bestie1: no more 3am late nights studying?? 😦

liked by unfortunatelyy/n

 landonorris: guess i’ll be seeing you next year alongside the ENEMIES 

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 user2: LANDO WHAT

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 user3: GIVE US ANSWERS DON’T LEAVE US HANGING GODDAMMIT 

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 unfortunatelyy/n: can’t keep a secret to save your life can you? 🙄

 mercedesamgf1: can’t wait to have you on the team next year y/n!

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 user4: OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG 

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 user5: SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP ALL AT ONCE 

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 user13: ARE U FOR REAL

 charles_leclerc: congratulations traitor!

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 unfortunatelyy/n: thank you ferrari’s sacrificial lamb

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 charles_leclerc: I-

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 user6: bro’s speechless 

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 charles_leclerc: why would you choose mercedes? we could’ve been world champions y/n 😔

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 user14: HELP 

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 unfortunatelyy/n: with your driving? i think not. 

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 user7: oop 

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 user8: dang that must’ve hurt 

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 charles_leclerc: I take it back. SUFFER WITH MERCEDES 

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 user9: i just know his PR team is going insane right now 

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 unfortunatelyy/n: whatever you say baguette boy 

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 user11: oh she went there 

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 charles_leclerc: oh you’re a little shi-

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 unfortunatelyy/n: FINISH THAT SENTENCE I DARE YOU 

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 charles_leclerc: I HOPE BOTH SIDES OF YOUR PILLOW ARE WARM TONIGHT AND THAT YOU RUN OUT OF MILK JUST WHEN YOU WANT TO EAT CEREAL 

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 unfortunatelyy/n: OH I HATE YOU 

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 mercedesamgf1: . . . note to self: don’t EVER get into a fight with Y/N 😅

user10: new thing to look forward to next season: charles and y/n beefing with one another 

 georgerussell64: you chose well, welcome to the dark side 😌

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 unfortunatelyy/n: thanks. . .?

 lewishamilton: congratulations y/n!

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 unfortunatelyy/n: thank you lewis! finally a normal comment 

landonorris: honestly and all jokes aside, i’m so proud of how far you’ve come from being that annoying little shit who followed me around all the time to a smart and somewhat kind girl, can’t wait to celebrate tonight 🥳

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 unfortunatelyy/n: screenshotted, i’m going to hang this over your head for the rest of your life norris 

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 landonorris: dang it. 

liked by lilymhe, olliebearman, carmenmmundt, alexandrasaintmleux, arthur_leclerc and 23,383,938 others 

unfortunatelyy/n: thanks for the memories xx 

tagged olliebearman, georgerussell64, landonorris, carlossainz55, charles_leclerc and 18 others 

 maxverstappen1: DELETE THAT RIGHT NOW 

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 unfortunatelyy/n: no. 🫶

 carlossainz55: i look good, no? 

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 unfortunatelyy/n: whatever floats your boat man 

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 unfortunatelyy/n: someone tell him he looks like he’s on crack 

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 carlossainz55: 😨

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 unfortunatelyy/n: 🫢 

user1: i just know yuki and pierre were pouring their whole heart and soul into the song 

liked by unfortunatelyy/n

 georgerussell64: let me just say, alonso and i tore up that dancefloor 

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 unfortunatelyy/n: alonso yes, you no. 

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 georgerussell64: damn ok 😔

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 unfortunatelyy/n: no backchat? are you feeling okay? 

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 georgerussell64: I WAS TRYING TO BE NICE TO YOU FOR ONCE 

user2: i think i’m going to cry, they all love her sm 

user3: is this why they were so absent on her recent posts, were they planning all of this 🥹

user4: DON’T TALK TO ME. i’m in my feels rn

user8: THEY ALL WENT TO HER GRADUATION ARE U JOKING

 landonorris: “thank you lando for planning this, i will be your servant for the rest of your life” 

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 unfortunatelyy/n: YOU NEARLY RAN OVER MY BOYFRIEND I THINK NOT 

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 user5: HELP WHAT

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 user8: CONTEXT PEOPLE WE NEED CONTEXT  

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 landonorris: IT WAS AN ACCIDENT 

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 unfortunatelyy/n: “iT wAs aN acCiDeNt” BE QUIET YOU DIDN’T EVEN REALISE UNTIL AFTER I HAD TO JUMP IN AND SAVE HIM 

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 landonorris: OKAY FINE U MANIAC

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 unfortunatelyy/n: WHAT DID U JUST CALL ME 

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 landonorris: . . .and for legal reasons that’s a joke 

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 landonorris: @olliebearman help me man, i’ll let you past this weekend 🙏

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 olliebearman: you want me to help you after you tried to kill me? 

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 landonorris: well if you say it like that it sounds bad

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 olliebearman: YOU NEARLY BACKED INTO ME WITH YOUR MCLAREN 

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 landonorris: IT WAS AN ACCIDENT

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 olliebearman: “iT wAs aN acCiDeNt” 

user6: ollie and y/n truly belong together, look at them bullying lando. i feel like a proud mother

 charles_leclerc: i’m sorry for my past actions y/n please never embarrass me on your instagram 🙏

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 unfortunatelyy/m: apology NOT accepted 

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 charles_leclerc: PLEASE 

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 unfortunatelyy/n: no. 

user7: charles leclerc’s worst enemy: ferrari ❌ y/n ✅

a/n: thank you for reading! Have an awesome day lovely 🫶🏻

[elodee]

HERMIT A DAY MAY - DAY 2

Xisuma x Dethklok

I drew Xisuma in the style of a Dethklok music video!

I picked this one for him because X is a big fan of metal and I am a big fan of Dethklok, a fictional death metal band from the show Metalocalypse. Even though the band is fictional, they produce real metal and their music is great.

Warning: Metalocalypse is hilarious but also very adult, with graphic depictions of violence and inappropriate themes - this extends to a much of Dethklok's music and music videos as well, so please be aware of that if you decide to look them up. Obviously I wont be posting anything like that here.

If you want to learn more about Metalocalypse and Dethklok, or just want to see my style references, keep reading below the cut!

Dethklok is a fictional band created by Brendon Small and Tommy Blacha. Small both writes and is the main performer for the band. The band, consisting of 5 members that don't actually exist, are stars of the show Metalocalypse.

In the show, Dethklok has become so popular that they control the entire planet. Nearly every episode ends with the band performing one of their original songs, which somehow causes horrific violence to everyone listening. However, since they are idiots, they also seem oblivious to the destruction their awesome, face-melting, eldritch-beast-summoning music causes...or they just don't care because they're ultra wealthy megastars.

The show heavily, but lovingly, satirizes the metal scene and, less lovingly, the music industry and celebrity in general. The over-the-top gore is played for laughs, but the characters are interesting and endearing. There is genuinely a lot of heart under all that growling and corpse paint and a lot of care goes into their (often very funny) music.

If you are interested in checking out their music and want a PG track, I recommend Go Into the Water. This is one of their few non-violent music videos (big epilepsy warning though) and there's no profanity or graphic imagery in the lyrics. The premise of the song is that the band realized that fish can't listen to metal because they're in the ocean, and they thought that was sad, so they set up a concert just for the fish.

Style references:

Set design/aesthetic from Black Fire Upon Us (this song is awesome and was my primary design reference, but the music video is VERY violent, so be warned)

Nathan Explosion's evil DnD paladin fit also from Black Fire Upon Us

Dethklok's band logo

[kaihuntrr]

A bunch of Scott designs I did for warmups <3 using my personal head canons for each one! Explanations for their looks and ‘names’ down below!

Life Series: Scott!

I love all of them so much,, I wanted to keep their outfits and general vibes simple, they’re all pretty but also some practicality in their wardrobes as they are in some type of survival game ehe.

3rd Life: Poppy

Self explanatory name, this version of Scott is the sweetest and the most disconnected from the survival games. He only wanted to live with his husband in their little paradise in forms of flower valleys and endless wheat fields, completely isolated from the war. His outfit is of a gardener, overalls and a sunhat with his and Jimmy’s favorite flower; poppies. He grew out his hair and ties it, not wanting it to be in the way of his work. He is overly protective of his husband, wanting to keep him safe and away from danger for as much as he possibly can. A widow’s rage is something else.

I imagine 3rd Life designs to be more humanoid, so Scott here is an elf! This soul of his moved on to Empires, where he spends the rest of his days with his husband in sweet bliss.

Last Life: Star

Earned the name after being victorious in the game of betrayal. A guiding star to others, he keeps the titular mark on his forehead for the remainder of his time in the Life Series due to being a winner, a reminder of him losing his final life to a lightning bolt. He is the most cunning, using his wits and trust to be a strong ally. He lived in the center of all the chaos with his partner, his best friend Pearl, using little moths to communicate to each other. With sheltered forests and a cottage as their ‘home’, he has deer-like features and antlers to boot. Perhaps this was an attempt to recreate a copy of Poppy, as he has some memories of ‘his’ previous life. He dresses in a neat dress shirt and vest, matching with his best friend and fitting the aesthetic of their pretty house in the woods. Just don’t touch the wall, please.

I wanted to use yellows for this design, as he starts off with two lives! Plus, the contrast looks so good <3 this soul is the host of future life seasons, having full clarity of this life when he goes into future events. Once a series is over, all precious memories will wash over him and the star will hover over his head. This is his ‘real’ form, his ‘winning’ soul.

Double Life: Venus

Named after the brightest ‘star’ next to the moon, he feels isolated. He felt something familiar as he was brought into this life, but he never expected to be connected to Pearl. He shouldn’t blame her, but he doesn’t deal well with being alone. Somehow, he still has a brief memory of Poppy’s as he feels.. something when Jimmy’s soulbound isn’t with him. He loves being with Cleo, his chosen soulmate, and being Pearl’s soulbound meant he could feel her frustration and loneliness. Should he have been there for her? Likely. He couldn’t bare seeing her face again. He couldn’t bare losing her again. Not again. Maybe it was better this way, they’re both hurting. He hopes this is better.

I used green as he was green in his iconic and heartbreaking moment of splitting off with Pearl and Martyn to join up with Cleo, and also I can remember him being mostly green until Pearl ups and ruins that- he’s a ram, his horns shifting to ram horns to solidify his stubborn nature to reconnect, and a general ranch aesthetic given he and Cleo made a whole soulmate ranch thing. The hair over his eyes are to hide his teary eyes, still missing and hurting over his soulmate.

Limited Life: Coral

A fitting name for the person who established the Coral Isles. The cottage was in the middle of it all, so he wanted his life to be away from all the drama, just by the side of the map near the ocean to relax. Unfortunately, things just won’t stop coming for him. Be it being the boogeyman first, allying with someone who you swore was supposed to kill you, and more memories of your past life you don’t understand coming back to haunt you, it’s a little too much. He can’t help but be flirty with Martyn though, the man definitely bites back. He finds his partner’s overprotective-ness rather adorable, and he’d do anything for him back, even give him time.

Fish!! Drastically different than my AU design, which is good- used his red skin as he did wonderfully as a red name and whenever I think of Limited Life I’d always think of Red Scott, which I adore <3 he does have long hair, can’t not have his long hair for him!

Until series five comes out, these are my thoughts and ideas for Life Series Scott! I’d love to write out possible interaction ideas but I’m afraid this post might be too long LMAO- a good break from Sea Prince content, but I absolutely adore the life series and the pseudo-story I have for this guy in particular. Who knows, you might see fullbodies of them in the future? :D no promises!

[ja3yun]

The Sun That Always Burns | S.JY pt.2

sim jaeyun x afab!reader

warnings: smut (mdni). exhibitionism (slightly), fluff, angst, y/n is kinda mean, fingering, oral (m+f rec), pet names, protected/unprotected sex, not proofread, anything else lmk!

wc: 17k+ (sorry)

synopsis: you and jake's high school relationship blossomed into a romance filled with hope and promise. however, as time went on, jake's long-term expectations began to weigh heavily on you, who struggled to meet them. your paths eventually lead you in separate directions, each experiencing different aspects of life and ultimately moving on from your past love. unexpectedly, fate intervened and you both reunite after years apart. the reunion allows you to rediscover your feelings for each other but also forces you to navigate the complexities of your past and present.

part 1 | part 3

a/n: hi! this part is heavily filled with plot, drama and smut. hope you all like it. this will probably be the deciding factor of if I continue the series (I have written it all now) or not. if you like it and want more please lmk!

To say everything was going well with you and Jaeyun over the next year would be an understatement.You had never felt so loved in your life; not by your parents, not by your siblings, it was only Jaeyun that made you feel like the world had its saturation turned up. The sun had a habit of making life look brighter.

Your 18th birthday party was tonight and you had been planning this for the past few months. It fell right after exams so you were going to use it as an excuse to get everyone together and let loose. Did you have an abundance of friends? Not really, you had your group of all-weather friends. Did that mean you didn’t invite everyone in your year that you liked so you could have a great birthday bash? Absolutely not.

Your friends Ryujin and Yeji were there to help you pick out a birthday outfit which of course you had preemptively chosen knowing that it would have the approval of your best friends and your boyfriend.

“Y/N, you look amazing,” Ryujin said as she eyed you in your short black dress with red lace trimming the bottom and ends, “You look so good, Jake isn’t going to be able to keep his hands off you.” You smile and nod, she would never know you bought the dress specifically for that reason. When you were in the store there were lots of dresses that fit your normal aesthetic but you wanted something bold, something that said you’re no longer a little girl. Of course, you were still a little girl, one birthday isn’t going to magically make you an adult but that didn’t mean you couldn’t look like it.

A few hours later and the party is in full swing, your parents are gone, there is over 50 people in your house, and you have to get to see Jaeyun. You’re getting nervous that he isn’t going to come. His text message stares at you as you read it for the nth time.

Be there soon, Baby. Can’t wait to see my girl! x

That was two hours ago. 

“Hey.” A voice from behind you pulls you out of your trance and you look at him, his body close to yours, “You’re the birthday girl, right? I’m Sunghoon.” His sleeked-back hair and perfect features throw your whole state of being off. 

“H-Hey. Um, yeah I am! Thank you for coming.” You bow a little and as you come up, your eyes meet his, and your face goes red. He is so beautiful, mesmerising, unlike anything you’ve ever seen before. The moon shines on his face as it bleeds through the windows. The freckles on his face add another dimension of beauty, his canines gleaming when he smiles.

“You’re Jake’s girlfriend? Where is he?” where is he? You ask yourself the same question. He is always beside you, always on time, always here. 

You shrug your shoulders and fakely chuckle, “I have no idea actually.” Honesty is the best policy but as Sunghoon’s hand reaches for your arm you think it was better if you had lied and told him Jaeyun was only away to the toilet. Jaeyun please come here quick. Sunghoon caught on to your rigid demeanor and nodded. He knew Jaeyun had an unholy hold on you.

“If I was Jake,” he started, “I would never let my pretty girlfriend stand alone at her own party.” Sunghoon kissed your temple.

He was right. Jaeyun should have been here the whole time. Are you too lenient on him? You take a shot of Cherry Sourz, Jaeyun’s favourite you mentally note. An earlier conversation with Yeji pops into your head.

“If you’re going to celebrate your 18th birthday you might as well have no regrets.”

And that’s exactly what you did. 4 hours after the party started you had no sense of yourself, Jaeyun was still nowhere to be found, and you were handed another shot. This was your 9th shot to be exact. 

Jaeyun strolls through the door with his friends Heeseung and Jay. His attitude was relaxed, a smile plastered on his face as he said hi to the people in the hallway; that was until he saw you.

Your body in that dress, your hair tussled from the dancing, the way the smile was placed upon your place, those hands that were on your hips. Jaeyun paused, his jaw that was once relaxed now clenched as he saw who was behind the foreign hands holding you - Sunghoon. 

Huffing, Jaeyun clenched his fists and walked over to you, jealousy seeping through every part of his body. He wasn’t afraid to admit that he was intimidated by Sunghoon, he wasn’t delusional to the fact that Sunghoon was attractive, probably the most handsome guy at the school and lamentably for Jaeyun, he was clearly into you. 

“Baby.” Jaeyun whispers as he wraps his arms around your waist and knocks Sunghoon off of you in the process, resting his head on your right shoulder, “Happy birthday, my love.” You were mad at him, but his touch was almost enough to forgive him. Unfortunately for Jaeyun, the shots didn’t make you forgive but rather fueled your anger towards him. 

You brushed his hands off ignoring him as you continued your conversation with Sunghoon. Jaeyun was hurt. In a way, he understood why you were acting like this, he let you down, and football practice lasted way longer than he intended, however, he wasn’t about to let Sunghoon take up all your attention. “Princess,” he whispered, knowing exactly what it did to you. You couldn’t ignore him anymore but that didn’t stop you from rolling your eyes.  Jaeyun noticed. “I’m sorry I’m late, I feel like such a dickhea-”

“Good. I hope you feel worse than that. I have been waiting for 4 hours. Do you know how embarrassing that is? All so you could what? Kick a ball about? Cheat on me? I don’t understand what was so much more important.”

Jaeyun stands still. He feels sick to think that even for a second you thought that you weren’t the most important person in his life. Cheat. That word echoed in his mind and he started to feel sick. Did he not show you love enough? Why was that one of the first things you thought of? He would never dream of it, he hasn’t even so much looked at a girl since he met you.

“Baby, I’m sorry I got caught up in football practice.” He confessed honestly. Was it an excuse? No, but his coach wasn’t letting him away no matter the excuse he gave.

“Whatever, Jake.” Jake. You hardly ever called him that before, not since you found out he liked being called Jaeyun more. Everyone called him Jake except for his family and you. His face turned pale as he realised how hurt you were by his actions. “Go enjoy yourself, I’m in the middle of a conversation.” His eyes met Sunghoon as you spoke. Sunghoon had a smirk on his face as if he had won in a game Jaeyun didn't know he was playing, and he did not want to be a part of it. 

You turned to Sunghoon and continued to speak to him, ignoring Jaeyun’s sad expression as you laughed at whatever shitty joke Sunghoon had to offer. 

To say Jaeyun was a sensitive soul would be an understatement. His feelings were so easy to read because he never thought to hide them, and as much as he was bottling his anger as Sunghoon stroked your arm, he wasn’t hiding it well. You were getting dangerously close to Sunghoon, your chest was millimetres away from him, and your head was tilted up to look at him. When Sunghoon leans down as if he is going to kiss you, Jaeyun knows he has to do something.Sunghoon had a reputation and Jaeyun would be damned if he let you be a part of it.

He strides over and hugs you from behind not unlike before. Trying to keep his cool and not come off as jealous he nuzzles his face into your neck and whines, “Baby.” Dragging out the pet name was a tactic he’ll admit. He knew you couldn’t resist it. “Can I give you your present now?”

“Is it to leave me alone? Because I would love that.” You spat at him. As soon as you turned around to look at him you instantly regretted the words that escaped your lips. Jaeyun’s eyes were wide, his brain was working overtime, and his chest was moving heavily. The alcohol in your system was making you react in a completely opposite way to how you would have. If sober you was alert she would have comforted Jaeyun and given him a thousand kisses to apologise, but drunk you was in charge and she was dangerous. “I need you to stop being so clingy, it's embarrassing.” Stop talking you screamed at yourself, “Can’t you see I’m talking to someone?” For the love of god please shut up and apologise. 

“Oh.” Jaeyun nodded slowly. He has never gotten angry, not once since you’ve known him, at least not seriously, but right now you see a fire behind his eyes that makes you wonder if you’re seeing things. He pushed his tongue to the side of his mouth and looked down, letting out a half scoff half laugh.  “Hope you have fun fucking him.” Jaeyun glares at Sunghoon and with that, he leaves. You call his name but he pushes through the crowded people to escape through the front door. 

He hears you calling his name but he is too upset to answer you. Your hand grabs his wrist as you pull at him, “Babe, please.” You plead but he yanks his arm away and continues walking. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean it.”

“Mean what? That I’m clingy? That you would rather speak to Sunghoon? That you think i would ever cheat on you?” His voice turns venomous towards the end and in that moment you realise what you’ve actually done. “Okay, yes I was late for your birthday, and believe me Y/N I am so fucking sorry. I tried to get away and I couldn’t. But you flirting with someone right in front of me? That’s a low i never expected.”

“Jaeyun I never-”

“Don’t fucking try it.” Jaeyun cuts you off. You have never seen him like this. “I’ll take anything you have to say to me, all the criticisms, but don’t you dare ever for a second think I would cheat on you.” Tears are forming in his eyes but he blinks them away and exhales slowly trying to regain some composure. He might have been upset with you but he couldn’t bare to shout at you. “Y/N, I can’t control what you do, or what you think, but you can’t fuck with me like that.”

He was right. You were flirting with another guy because you were mad at Jaeyun. It wasn’t fair to him. You stare at him and bite your bottom lip to stop yourself from crying. You want to hug him and kiss him and apologise but your body and brain were fueled by the substances consumed earlier. “You know what Jaeyun?” you started, “How am I supposed to know you aren’t going around with other people? Half of your football team were here on time but suddenly the coach only wants you to stay behind? Fucking funny that isn’t it?”

“I fucking love you, Y/N. That should be enough for you to understand I’m not screwing anyone behind your back. Do you not trust me? Have I done something that would make you not trust me?” His voice is angry but not raised. Jaeyun sees the hurt in your eyes at his temper and it almost makes him aplogise. Almost. What does he have to be sorry for? He said he was sorry for being late, it was you who blew this into a big deal.

You knew it too. You knew deep down he would never cheat on you, and he wouldn’t be late for your birthday unless something was holding him back. The alcohol that coursed through your veins wasn’t helping you be a reasonable person, however. You stood in silence, staring at Jaeyun. He scoffs. “You don’t trust me? Fine. You know what?” Jaeyun takes a gift-wrapped box from his jacket pocket and throws it with force on the ground at your feet. “Happy fucking birthday, Y/N. Hope Sunghoon gets you off better than I can.” 

Frozen, you watch him walk home angrily. Your first fight and it was over something so stupid, something you caused and could easily have been fixed. No, it wasn’t great that he was late, but it wasn’t worth losing him over.

You bend down to pick up the box and unwrap it. As you flip open the box you see a gold sun-shaped necklace with a rose quartz centre. It’s beautiful and it’s so obviously Jaeyun. You were his sunshine, his love, his everything, and he probably saved up for this necklace which was clearly handmade. The engraving was the date you first started school, the day you first met. 

You were an idiot. You had to make it right, you can’t lose him. Losing him would ruin you completely. Running as fast as you can in heels you try to catch up with him but he is nowhere to be found. You spend a good hour outside looking for him before making your way to his house. He had to be there by now.

As you stand before his front door you inhale a deep breath and chap the door vigorously. 

“Oh my days it’s like 2 am what do you want.” Jaeyun opens the door quickly, speaking before he has even seen you. His eyes fall on you, red-faced, chest rising and falling at a rapid pace, the dress is hiked up sitting just under your ass. “Y/N?” 

Bursting into tears you blabber out everything you have to say. “Jaeyun I am such an idiot, I am so sorry for ever thinking you would cheat. To be honest, I knew you would never, I was just drunk” You’ve started to sober up in between the running and crying, “You were late for my birthday and It honestly wasn’t even that big a deal, I was angry and stupid. I love you so much please don’t break up with me.” You rush the last few sentences in between sobs. 

Standing in the doorframe, Jaeyun’s eyes are soft, a smile gracing his lips - a complete opposite to how he was only a few hours ago. He hated how blown out this whole thing was. It took him coming home and showering to calm down and assess how undeep the situation truly was.

“Princess, I know.” He brings you in for a hug and squeezes you as if at any moment you could disappear. “I will never break up with you, my love.” A kiss to your forehead. “I’m not angry at you.” A kiss to your temple.”I’m sorry I was clingy” A kiss to your cheek. “I love you so much.” A kiss to your lips.

You pull away with wide eyes, “You aren’t clingy, I was an idiot. I love you, I want you to be clingy all the time. I love it. I was just mad you were late.” Jaeyun nods in understanding and bites his lip, a habit of his you’ve never been able to get over.

“I’m sorry I was late.” He stares at you with his forehead resting against yours. Your eyes are red and puffy, his show clear signs of crying too. You were both so scared to lose each other in this moment that no words were exchanged, just this stare.

He pulls you in for a kiss and grabs your waist as he brings you into his house. “Stay with me tonight.” He whispers, almost unmissable if you weren’t listening. You nod and keep kissing him. 

“I’m sorry, Jaeyun.” He shakes his head.

“No, don’t. Don’t keep apologising, we were both silly.” He looks down at your hands and notices the box that contains his birthday present to you. “Did you like it?” You’re confused at first but as your eyes follow his to where they are looking for you to answer.

“I love it, can you put it on me?” 

Without another word, he nods and brings you into his room. He quietly shuts the door trying not to alert his parents. Jaeyun was surprised at how they didn’t wake up with you banging at the door but he didn’t give it too much thought. “Turn around, Princess.”

Obediently you turn around and hand him the necklace. As he clasps the jewelry around your neck you shiver at the coldness of the gold. The coldness doesn’t last long as Jaeyun starts kissing your neck, his plump lips pressing softly. 

“Jaeyun,” You moan softly and turn to face him, “let me make it up to you.” Your hands trail down his body as you stop at his lower abdomen. It’s only now you realise he’s only wearing his black boxers. “I’ve been so horrible to you.” As you play with the lining of his underwear, Jaeyun throws his head back. He wants this, he really does. You’re beautiful all the time but there is something so ethereal about your lips around his cock. But you’re intoxicated and upset and he doesn’t want to take advantage of that.

“Baby, I don’t need you to do that.” Jaeyun’s heart is beating fast as you trace the outline of his cock. “Please, you’re drunk and I don’t want you to feel like you have to.” He’s trying to defuse this situation without hurting your feelings. What he isn’t aware of is that you aren’t listening to him, a hand trespasses his boxers and lightly strokes his cock making him mutter an almost inaudible ‘fuck.’

With a hand on him, you guide him to sit on the gaming chair in his room. “Relax, Jaeyun. I know how much you love my mouth.” He could come right there and then. You slide his boxers off, slapping his thigh so he will lift his bum off the chair. “I’ve missed your cock so much.”

Jaeyun laughs at that. “We literally fucked yesterday.” 

“Technically it was 2 days ago,” you point to the clock that reads 2.37 am, “and I didn’t even get the celebratory cliche birthday sex.” Pouting while you were down on your knees had Jaeyun’s head in meltdown mode. You were so beautiful, in spite of the tear-stained cheeks and mascara smudging, you looked so irresistible.

His hand comes to cup your cheek as his thumb wipes away the running makeup from your face, “You’re so lovely.” You smile and he mirrors you, “Lovely people deserve to get fucked on their birthday, yeah?” Jaeyun breathes out.

There it is, the Jaeyun you were waiting for, and the permission you needed to take his cock in your mouth. It caught him off guard and his hands instinctively moved to your hair. “Fuck, Princess you’re so beautiful like this.” He looks down at you with admiration and desire. You bob your head up and down, every time you come up you swirl your tongue around the tip, dipping into his slit every second time. You knew everything that made Jaeyun feel pleasure. Over the past few years, you’ve learned and memorised each other's bodies, likes and dislikes. You were convinced no one could ever know you the way Jaeyun does. 

A few weeks ago you walked in on Jaeyun jerking off to porn. He threw his phone away and apologised a million times. You’re not the type of girlfriend that has an issue with her boyfriend watching porn, you too have done it sometimes if he’s away for the weekend to football training. What you did notice though was that as you picked up the phone, the girl was giving very enthusiastic head, gagging as he fucked his cock into her mouth. You had never done anything like that before. Jaeyun always held back thrusting his hips up so as to not cause you pain or discomfort. But you wanted it.

So today, you were going to give him everything you got. Apologies can’t be half-arsed, right?

You smile and lift your bum from your feet so you’re hovering over his cock at a higher angle. Smirking, your eyes meet his and you take his full length in your mouth, gagging as the tip breaches the back of your throat.

“Baby be careful.” Jaeyun was always attentive, always caring, but right now you needed to see him lose control. You don’t come off his cock but rather sit with his dick in your mouth and swallow - a trick that wasn’t easy to master but you knew it would drive him crazy. “Fuck, Princess.” As he feels your throat close and pinch the tip of his dick he moans so loudly you’re scared his parents might hear him.

You work your mouth up and down his cock again, you pinch his thighs a little and his hips thrust up, slamming his cock into your throat again. “Shit, baby I’m sorry.” You simply moan trying to let him know that's what you want. You pinch him again and he gets the memo. “Oh? Does my love want me to fuck her pretty little mouth?” You’re dripping by this point and hum around him in acknowledgment. He leans down and pulls you off his cock. “Tell me you want it.” Jaeyun’s hand has your hair in a ponytail. 

“I want you to fuck my throat until I can’t speak anymore.” A groan leaves his body. You’re perfect, he doesn’t understand where you came from, or how you both exist in this lifetime together, but he is so thankful.

“If it gets too much just tap my leg three times okay, Baby? No matter what. If it hurts, if you need air, let me know.” Nodding your head and smiling you let out a weak okay and he kissed your lips. It's so tender and loving. You know you’re about to get a completely different Jaeyun in two seconds.

He squeezes your cheeks with his middle finger and thumb to get your mouth to open. His dick is red and frustrated, multiple veins protruding around the shaft. You’re starving for it. Placing his cock in your mouth you take him all in. 

Slowly thrusting you can see he is trying to be gentle so you meet his thrusts, sucking up and down. “My baby.” He breathlessly moans as he picks up the pace. His tip is battering against your throat and you love every second of it. You hum in pleasure around him as he pounds faster into your mouth. “Y/N you’re so fucking good to me, such a perfect girl. Always taking what I give you.” He moans and his thrusts become erratic, and sloppy as he gets closer to his high,

His grip is tighter on your hair and he yanks you off before he comes.

“Jaeyun what’s wrong?” Your voice is hoarse and it drives him crazy.

“I need to come inside you, Princess. You can call it another birthday present.” He kisses you and lifts you up with ease, his mouth never leaving yours. “Such a pretty dress,” he states as he lays you down on the bed, “As soon as I saw you in it I knew I had to fuck you while you wear it.” Jaeyun hikes up the dress so it sits above your hips, exposing your red underwear, his favourite. “All for me, yeah?” His fingers lightly graze your slit over the lace. 

“Everything is for you.” The loving confession makes his heart swell in his chest. He needs you so bad, and you know it. “Just fuck me Jaeyun.” Your eyes land on his cautious ones. He hasn’t prepped you yet, it’s already a struggle to make him fit when he’s stretched you open. “I can’t wait for your cock any longer.” Frustration is laced within your voice and your body is writhing for some attention.

Jaeyun takes a condom from his stash and slides it on. His sensitive tip colliding with the rubber makes him wince. He looks for lube but can’t find his usual tube. You look at him searching and take the opportunity to shuffle down, grab his cock, and guide it to your entrance.The shock plastered on his face is quickly switched out with one of pure lust. “Princess can’t wait huh?” You eagerly shake your head as you push him in. The stretch isn’t painful due to how turned on you are. Genuine wonder starts to invade your brain as you think back to any other time you’ve been this desperate. You haven’t.

“You’re the death of me, Y/N.” He moans as he bottoms out. 

“I need you to fuck me so bad, baby.” And who was he to deny you? His thrusts are sharp and pierce right through you. “Right there, baby, so so good.” Your encouraging words spur him on and he goes at a faster pace.

“Tell me I’m the only one.” He mutters as he kisses your neck. He was still feeling a little self-conscious after the whole Sunghoon incident. To think that you could be taken away by someone else makes his heartbreak, he needs the reassurance.

Bringing his head up and cupping his cheek you stare lovingly into his eyes, “You’ll always be the only one. I don’t want anyone else. I need you.” 

Jaeyun practically growls as he picks up the pace again. You’re trying not to moan loudly but he’s hitting all the right spots and it’s got you gasping. His hands are roaming your body, gripping and grasping at every part of you, the action will leave bruises and he’ll apologise in the morning but right now he just needs to feel you.

“Even if Sunghoon wanted you?” he asks quietly and you shake your head immediately. Never for a second would you even spare any time of day for the other, not when you had Jaeyun. You were going to have serious words with yourself once you’re done. You made Jaeyun feel insecure, you’re the reason he’s doubting himself like this.  

“He could never love me the way you do,” you bring your lips to his ear, “and he certainly couldn’t fuck me the way you do.” 

Pure fire and passion rise through Jaeyun’s body. His thrusts go harder and faster, he places your legs on his shoulders and drives in deeper. “You take me so well, Princess. I love you so much.” Jaeyun might have been fucking you like he was a man possessed but his kind and nurturing personality will always come through.

He was perfect.

You clench around him, “Jaeyun, babe, I’m so close.” Your nails are digging into his arms. 

“Me too, Baby.” he kisses you gently, “Come around my cock, show me how good I make you feel.” Jaeyun might be the sweetest man alive but he is still a man after all, always trying to get you to boost his ego. And you come around his cock hard, your chanting his name mixed with a few ‘fucks’ and ‘oh gods’ in there. 

Not letting up, Jaeyun is still pounding into you, “Good girl.” he mumbles into a kiss. It doesn’t take long before he’s spilling into the condom. “Fuck, Y/N.” His moans are loud and desperate as his hips still. “Fuck, Princess. So good.” He lazily kisses down your neck whispering sweet ‘I love yous’ and ‘You’re so perfect’. He wanted to revel in the moment, his cock was softening in your walls as his lips graze every inch of your skin. 

“I love you, Jaeyun.” He looks up at you with his big puppy eyes and all you can see is love held within them. You could cry. This is the man you’re going to spend the rest of your life with. You know it.

“I love you too, angel. So fucking much,” He kisses you deeply, “Let's never fight again.” Wrapping your arms around his shoulders you nod and continue to kiss him. “You’re it for me, Y/N.”

“Sim Jaeyun if you have a girl in here-” His dad barges in, ruining the moment between the both of you. Jaeyun jumps up and covers himself and you with a blanket. Mortified doesn’t even begin to describe how you feel. “Y/N? Is that you?” his dad questions trying to see your face which is hidden behind Jaeyun’s blanket.

“Hi, Mr.Sim” Your head pops up and shyly wave a hand. “How’s it going?” 

“Dad can you like, leave, please.” Jaeyun wants the world to swallow him whole. He has always been so careful not to get caught. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to tell his parents it was just that they would never let you stay over again if they knew he was fucking your brains out every time you stayed over. 

Mr. Sim runs a hand down his face and squeezes his eyes shut before wagging a finger between you and Jaeyun, “How long have you…how long has this been going on?”

“About two years.” Jaeyun shrugs and mumbles. He wasn’t going to say your 2 year anniversary was a pebble throwaway, he didn’t need specifics. “We’ve been dating for 2 years.”

“2 YEARS?” Mr. Sim’s eyes widened and his mouth slacked open. “2 years and you haven’t told us? You know we would never stop you from dating someone.” he scoffs, “2 fucking years and you didn’t tell us.” 

Your head is hanging low, Jaeyun notices your discomfort, he always does, and he reaches for your hand under the blanket and gives it a squeeze.

“Dad we didn’t mean to keep it a secret from you or mum. I’m sorry.”

“Me too, Mr. Sim.” You squeak out. 

“Don’t,” Jaeyun’s dad starts, “Don’t keep things like this from me again.” A smile crawls onto his face, “especially if it’s Y/N. You know she’s like the daughter I always wanted.” His eyes soften as he looks at you. 

You were so close to Jaeyun’s family after spending 3 years living between his house and yours. His parents knew your favourite foods, what made you tick, and how to cheer you up, they even invite you over on Christmas Eve for a pre-Christmas celebration. His family loved you, you were never scared of receiving their approval, deep down you knew you always had it. “Get some sleep. I’ll talk to your mum. And Y/N?” Your head shoots up, “Please tell your parents. I’m sure they’ll take it well.” He nods his head and leaves to go back to bed. 

Jaeyun turns to you and a roar of laughter erupts from him making you playfully smack his chest. “That was so embarrassing.” He wheezes. 

“I am never coming back here again.” You hide under his blanket, giggling. 

You spend the rest of the night cuddling Jaeyun, feeling complete bliss. When you woke up the next morning you received a text from your mum.

Mrs. Sim told me. Jake is NEVER allowed to sleep over again, do you hear me?

I’m happy for you both.

You smile and snuggle deeper into Jaeyun’s embrace. The sun lights up the room, landing perfectly on your boyfriend's face.

________

As your high school life was reaching its end you found yourself searching through college brochures and websites trying to find anything that sparked your interest. That was your problem, you weren’t interested in anything, not anything that you could make a career out of anyway. Jaeyun was what you were interested in if you had to be frank but considering he’s a broke almost 19-year-old you couldn’t exactly become his trophy wife, but god did you wish life was that easy sometimes? 

Jaeyun had applied for Apollo College situated in Busan. His dream was to become a mathematical physicist which has been his dream since he was like 10 years old. Honestly, his dedication and passion for the subject made you fall in love with him even more every time the boy would get so hyped when he spoke to you about it. Fair enough you found the subject so boring but something about the way he spoke about quantum theory or one of those old dudes that are plastered on his physics textbook made the subject come to life. He worked immensely hard to even get the grades to get into Apollo, and you couldn’t be more proud.

“What about applying for Apollo? They do some ND-level courses?” Jaeyun says as he scrolls through his phone. He has been trying to help you pick a college for over an hour in his bedroom. You both agreed Busan or somewhere close would be the best option since you both couldn’t imagine doing long distance. ‘It wouldn’t work, I would miss you too much.’ Jaeyun has pleaded when you were entertaining the idea of looking at some in Seoul.

“Babe I am not applying for a smarty pants college.” You laugh and reach for his face taking his glasses from his face. “Although,” You place the glasses on the bridge of your nose, “I would look good as a woman in STEM.” A smile creeps on your face as you seductively look over the frames of the glasses and see Jaeyun bite his lip. Never once has he uttered it out loud but he does have a thing for you in glasses, a fantasy of dressed in only them as he fucks you until they’re steaming up slithers into his mind more times than not.

“My girl looks good all the time, but STEM would make me want to wife you up right then and there.” Placing his phone down beside him he leans over until his face is mear centimeters from yours. 

You know what he was looking for, that face of lust painted so obviously and god did you want to give into him, he’s irresistible. But it had to wait and you unsubtly let him know by placing your pointer finger on the middle of his forehead and push him back. “Jaeyun, this is serious,” you say pouting looking back down to the laptop in front of you, “I need to find a college or else I’m gonna be stuck here in my parents’ house forever, and only see you like once a month or something.”

“Y/N, you’ll find something in Busan okay? And if not I’ll look somewhere else. My grades are good enough to get in anywhere.” It's a subtle brag but you know he’s right, he might be the smartest person you know in all fairness but that doesn’t mean he can just give up his dream school that he’s spent countless sleepless nights studying to get into. His effort to get into this school more than proved that him not going sounded like the most ridiculous thing in the world.

“I am not letting you drop your dream college because I’m too thick to even get into one measly college. It’s your dream I’m not letting you ruin your chances.” You half-joke before Jaeyun speaks up again. 

“You’re my dream, Y/N. I’ll follow you anywhere you want to go. I’d give up anything for you, you know that.” His serious expression makes you a little uncomfortable. Hearing him say he’d throw his aspirations for you hurt your heart and you didn’t know why. Maybe because you spent your relationship with him watching him work hard for opportunities to enhance his future and in a millisecond he would give it all up, and for someone like you? It seemed ludicrous.

“Jaeyun don’t say that,” discarding your laptop and shuffling towards him you put your hands on his shoulders and squeezed tightly, “I didn’t watch you need an IV drip from studying so hard just for you to throw it away.”

“I might not get in.” And you laugh, your hands loosening from his shoulders to cup his neck.

“You’re a shoe-in, baby.” A smile forms on Jaeyun’s lips at your encouragement. You always wondered why your boyfriend had such a hard time believing in his own abilities, if it was possible you wish he could see himself through your eyes, maybe then he’d understand how truly remarkable he is. “I’ll find a college, don’t worry.” Bopping his nose with yours you take the glasses off your face and place them on his nose. “Let's look at Yangsan-Si, it’s only 30 minutes away from Apollo. I think they have that independent college.”

Looking up at your laptop you feel Jaeyun’s puppy dog eyes on you and you turn around to see him still in the same position, “Babe? You okay?”

“I mean it, Y/N. Anything you want, I’ll do it. If colleges in Busan don’t work I’ll find somewhere else. Take up an apprenticeship or whatever.” 

“Jaeyun, it’ll be fine!” You try to lighten up the atmosphere but his face is stern and his body is tense. “What are you so scared of?” your voice is shallower than usual trying to read him but it seems impossible. 

“I don’t want you to leave me, and that’s what long-distance means right? We’ll keep up talking the first few weeks, then we’ll be too busy to talk every day so we Facetime for what? 30 minutes every weekend, then we just stop talking altogether and turn to texting because it’s easier. You’ll find someone less clingy, more handsome, he’ll be there to give you attention and we’ll break up. I can’t watch that happen.” 

Smiling sadly you try to hide the burning feeling in your chest as you watch Jaeyun’s mind scramble and come up with this whole plot point you didn’t even think was an option. Does he think about you both not working out often? You etch forward and take his hands. “Jaeyun,” you say waiting for him to look at you before you continue, his watery eyes slowly look up, “I will find a college near Busan. I will be right beside you for as long as you want me. And we will never break up okay? You don’t have to worry about it.”

Deep down you felt his concerns too. And with him saying all this, talking about how long distance wouldn’t work, it made you start to overthink with what ifs. But right now you had to convince Jaeyun everything would be fine, convincing yourself in the process. 

His nod lets you breathe a sigh of relief and kiss him lightly on his plumped lips. “I love you so much.” His words make you smile and kiss him a little longer this time.

“I love you too. Now come on and help me get into college. I need that big sexy brain of yours.” Jaeyun’s heaved-out laugh hits your ears and you both spend the night applying for random schools, easing his mind a little.

________

Rejection. Rejection. Rejection.

Opening the next email you sigh, another rejection, your 7th to be exact. It had been two months since you applied for colleges in Jaeyun’s bedroom and time was ticking. You had 5 weeks to get accepted at the earliest, thats when Jaeyun was set to move to Busan, when you were moving with him.

You could never forget the day he got the acceptance letter to Apollo. There was a rapid chap at your door causing your dad to whip the door open angrily, “Who the fuc- Oh, Jake. What’s the big rush?” Your dad calmed down as he saw Jaeyun and his cheesy grin on the other side of your front door.

“Is Y/N here? I need to see her.” His eyes shifted to the upstairs where he hoped you’d be.

“Go on up.” Your dad's head flicks back in the direction of your room. Without a second passing, Jaeyun is taking his shoes off and running up the stairs, missing a step each time. “Who is it?” your mum says to your dad as he laughs. “I think Jaeyun got into college.” Your parents were so proud. Jaeyun had opened your door in a flash and saw you at your desk studying for exams. He examined you; your hair tousled, baggy sweatpants, and the old football jersey he gave you after he won his first game of high school. “Beautiful,” he muttered loud enough to gain your attention.

“Jaeyun? What are you doing here? I thought I was meeting you later?” He strides over and extends his arms sharply, holding an envelope in his hands. The action made him look so young and innocent, like a toddler proudly handing their mum a drawing they did in the nursery. Gingerly you take the already torn envelope and withdraw a letter.

“Dear Mr. Sim,” you read out loud, “We have received an overwhelming amount of applications for the Mathematical Physics BSc Honours program. We are delighted to offer you a place…” You trail off, “Jaeyun, you got in?” Re-reading the letter you squeal and jump up to hug him, “This is amazing, baby. I’m so proud of you!” You exclaim. Genuine happiness is felt between the both of you and Jaeyun’s grip tightens around you. “You fucking did it.” You whisper as he pulls away. His face is brighter than you had ever seen, his future coming together like perfectly matched pieces in a puzzle. You envied him a lot in that moment.

Snapping out of your memory you mutter a ‘fuck’ as you lock your phone and make your way to class. Apparently, you weren’t good enough for Busan, or Yangsan-Si, or Gimhae. Nowhere wanted you. The prospect of not getting into college suddenly weighed down heavily on your shoulders. You had picked courses about things you enjoyed through school, or rather, got decent enough grades in but it wasn’t enough. There were two colleges left that you are impatiently awaiting replies from. One a mere 20 minutes away from Jaeyun and one 4 hours away on the outskirts of Pyeongchang. Obviously, you neglected to mention this choice but it was apparently the easiest one to get into and you didn’t really think every single other choice would reject you having confidence at least one would offer a conditional place. 

There is only one chance. 

Walking somberly into class you see Jaeyun wave you over, his chair turned from his desk to face his friends beside him. “Baby come here!” He shouts over to you gaining attention from the other people in your class. The thing about Jaeyun is that he wasn’t quiet about anything, especially your relationship to many of the girls in your class’ dismay. 

Smiling at him widely, your once dampened mood is now gone. He had a habit of being able to do that. You go to take the seat next to his friend Jay but before you can pull out the seat Jaeyun is pulling you onto his lap and circling his arms around your waist to situate you in a comfortable position. 

“You guys are disgusting.” Jay groaned but Jaeyun paid no mind to him, kissing the back of your shoulder and smiling, giddy at intimacy.

“It's a good thing you guys are going to college together, think my man here might die if he isn’t with you for more than 3 minutes.” Kai chimes in jokingly, slapping Jaeyun’s right shoulder lightly nearly hitting you in the process. That sinking feeling in your chest slowly bubbles its way back up. 

There is only one chance..

“Yeah, he wouldn’t last a day if you were long-distance.” Jay continued on to Heeseung’s statement.

There is only one chance. 

“As much as I love you all saying my relationship grosses you out,” You start to stand up and remove Jaeyun’s hands, “I need to pee before class starts.” Hiding your discomfort from the conversation you press your lips to Jaeyun’s, “I’ll be back in a minute.” His hand trails down your arm and squeezes your hand.

Quickly you walk out of class and head to the bathroom to compose yourself. It’s not that you don’t think long distance could work for you, it's that you know long distance won’t work for him. All the previous conversations swirled in your head mixed with your doubts. 

A ping echoes in the empty bathroom and scramble to unlock your phone. You view the notification as it reads Mail: Offer Update: Kyungsung University. Your heart is in your throat as you read the outcome.

Rejection.

There is no more chances. Shit. You’re gonna lose him. The mirror before you shows the shell of a girl who just lost everything she loves in the space of a minute. Eyes red, lips trembling, a sob escaping your throat, you were crushed. I’ll follow you anywhere you want to go. I’d give up anything for you. Those were his words a few months ago with the weight of his intent still heavy. He would give it all up for you and that was a hard burden to live with. 

Another ping comes from your phone and you squeeze your eyes shut to get rid of the tears that blurred your vision. Mail: Offer Update: Avanti College.

Your eyes widen quickly opening the email.

Dear Miss L/N,

We have received your application. With much consideration, we would be delighted to offer you a place at Avanti College for the studies of Film and Media. As you would be aware our school terms start earlier than others, thus, we have sent you a link to our module assigning system for you to quickly choose your classes. These are filling up and you should confirm these as soon as possible.

We look forward to seeing you next month.

Yours Sincerely,

Mr. Suh Kyung Min

Head of Recruitment. 

You smile brightly as you read the email over and over again. You got in. Granted, film studies was the only course at this college with spaces left, but if you weren’t thinking about that, you could learn to love it. It was also 4 hours away from Busan. 4 hours away from the love of your life. Your shoulders sink down and the smiles fades from your face. 

You had two choices; tell him you didn’t get into college and have him drop out of his dream university, ruin his future, all for you, or, don’t tell him and go to college, leave Jaeyun without an explanation so he doesn’t destroy everything he’s worked for. That would mean leaving your family and friends behind too because they would cave in and tell Jaeyun where you went. If you just left without a trace he would have no choice but to go and live his future the way he was supposed to. 

The second option feels right. There is no way you are going to be the one to leave Jaeyun’s future desolate, you couldn’t offer him a future better than the one he had already set out for him. So you just won’t tell him. Did his happiness and future mean more to you than your own? Absolutely. And fuck did that stab you in the heart. 

Looking back in the mirror your eyes are drooping, depressed, void of any happiness you register now you have another choice; make this the best few weeks with Jaeyun, or slowly break away to make the situation easier on you both. Deep down you knew even if you stayed away during this period he would find a way to see you, so you accepted it, giving your undivided attention to him just as you have all these years. Give him all the love you have.

3 weeks. You have 3 weeks before you’re away to live a completely new life. You have to remind yourself why you’re doing this, why you’re hurting yourself by leaving your only love. It was for him, all of it. 

_______

Two weeks until you leave for Pyeongchang and you’ve gotten good at concealing any hurt you feel. Jaeyun kept asking if you heard anything from colleges but you just shrugged and changed the topic. He was getting suspicious but you just kept reassuring him there was still a month left and most of the colleges you applied for were clearance so they tend to do it last minute. 

With exams over and school finally ending the only logical solution was for your year to host a party. A BIG party. Now you all could legally drink it just meant more alcohol being brought and because the chances of you seeing any of these people again is practically zero, you really wanted to let your hair down. You spent most of these days in worry and dread that you didn’t just want to get wasted, you needed it. 

Ryujin and Yeji were on their way to pick you and Jaeyun up from his house - Yeji got stuck on DD duty after losing rock, paper, scissors and she won’t shut up about how unfair it is. Jaeyun was already dressed in his blue double denim outfit accessorised with a graphic white t-shirt, some old silver chains hanging from his black D&G belt, rings that you’ve felt on your throat more than once displayed on his fingers and a pearl necklace he got as a gift from Heeseung. His hair was bouncy and parted the way he liked it, with his forehead showing. Jaeyun was the most gorgeous boy you had ever seen and every day you noticed something different. Walking out of your bathroom you notice how his shoulders have gotten slightly broader.

“Have you been going to the gym?” You question nonchalantly as you fix your earrings, staring at him while he scrolls through his phone. He shrugs and continues with his eyes fixated on the phone. You huff, waiting for your boyfriend to notice you and the clear effort you made in your outfit. The gold two-piece you bought left little to the imagination and you felt so powerful and sexy in it. 

Dragging your tongue over your front teeth you walk behind him and rub your delicate hands on his shoulders. “You’ve gotten bigger, width-wise.” You flirt.

“Dunno must be all the extra lifting at work. Shits heavy.” He mumbles, liking pictures on Instagram as if you aren’t there. Usually, you would be offended but you learned that sometimes Jaeyun is just a little dense when it comes to attention. So you take matters into your own hands.

One of your hands never leaves his shoulder as you circle to his front, one leg hiking over so you can straddle his lap, head tilted as you wait for him to look at you. Finally, but not nearly as quickly as you want, he looks at you, his mouth open as his eyes trail up and down your body, absentmindedly locking his phone and throwing it not caring where it landed. “Fuck.”

You nod and smile coyly, biting your lip. “Do I look good?” Your fingers dance up his chest and wrap around his neck as you shift your weight slightly until you’re sitting right on his clothed dick. 

“Shit, Princess you look fucking ethereal,” Jaeyun says as his hands rub your arms until they find their way to your waist, “Do we have to go? I don’t want anyone else to see you like this.” He laughs and kisses your lips, his eyes looking up at you with adoration.

“Yes!” you exclaim, “I wanna get drunk and dance.” You shuffle off his lap and pull his hand so he’s standing. Instinctively, his arms circle around your waist. “Plus you get to tell everyone this,” you point to yourself, “is all yours.” Your boyfriend's eyes roll but he bites his lip, probably the sexiest habit he does. 

“Baby don’t tempt me, I’ll go into that party and put on a show so they know who you belong to,” You moan as his hands grab your ass, and his eyebrow quirks. “Oh? Do you like that idea? So I should just bend you over in the middle of it and fu-” Swiftly you clamp a hand over his mouth and laugh.

“Shut up. You know what I mean.” Now it’s your turn to roll your eyes. “You’re so horny all the time.” He shrugs again and takes your hand that’s placed over his mouth, kissing your palm before he intertwines your fingers with his. “We better head down and say goodbye to your parents.” Sauntering away he pulls you back and kisses you deeply taking your breath away. 

Jaeyun groans as he tastes your cherry lip oil, the same taste he’s had the pleasure of devouring for 3 years. Desperately his hand grabs your waist and pulls you closer. He can’t get enough of you and honestly, he doesn’t think he ever will.

“Jaeyun,” you whisper against his lips but he simply keeps kissing you, his tongue invading your mouth when you speak only making him crave you more. “Baby, we need to go,”

“No,” He whines and picks you up, your legs wrapped around his waist, “can’t wait to punch guys in the face for looking at you too long.” his voice whispers in between kisses and you throw your head back laughing. 

As your actions expose your neck he places kisses all over, focusing on a spot just above your freckle, a gasp escapes your lip. Jaeyun is sucking and biting at the spot and you realise what he’s doing and your eyes fly open, “Jaeyun!” you warn him but he keeps going and it feels too good to stop.

Pulling away he examines his work and smirks. A hickey. A big red soon to be deep black and purple hickey starts to appear on the base of your neck. “There.” He kisses it once and then proceeds to look in your eyes innocently. “Everyone will know you’re mine.”

Rushing to the mirror you see the red mark and sigh, half annoyed half amused. “What are you? 13?” A rumbled laugh comes from behind you. 

“Just possessive. Can’t have another Sunghoon situation now can I.” Jaeyun jokes but it makes you wince. You try to forget that birthday night as much as possible. “I can’t lose you. Not for anything.” His sweet words turn over in the acid of your stomach. You think about what you’re going to do just two weeks from now and you feel sick. You have to tell him, but you can’t. This is what’s best.

Putting on a facade you smile and kiss him on the cheek and walk by him. “That won’t happen, babe.” 

A honk from outside diverts both of your attention and you scurry downstairs, eagerly awaiting the party that lies ahead. 

Arriving at the party it’s already in full swing, classes from all over the city have come to celebrate the end of an era. Looking around at the dim lights, strobe effects, and some people making out in the corner you wonder if you were actually in a club rather than someone’s house.

“Who’s house is this?” You ask no one but Yeji turns around. “Kobayashi Daigo. Was in your class for like 2 years.” She laughs and shakes her head. In her mind, she knew she shouldn’t be surprised you don’t know him considering you only ever spoke to Jaeyun or your friends.

“I’ll get you a drink, baby, come on.” Jaeyun whispers lowly and guides you towards the kitchen, his hands on either side of your hips. There was something about his big hands on your waist that made your whole being melt and just follow anything he said. 

When you get to the kitchen you see a bottle of Tequila Rose with your name on it and as you pick it up there is a strong hand taking it from you. “Princess, you want a double?” Jaeyun takes the bottle and starts to pour his own and eyes you as he awaits your answer. 

“Double.” You smile mischievously as you watch the liquid pour into the glass. The pink drink is brimming to the top of a tall shot glass as you lift it to your lips, your eyes never leaving Jaeyuns’. “Cheers.”

“Cheers, baby girl.” He slams the shot on the worktop and then downs it, his Adam’s apple bobbing harshly as he swallows the soft shot. You can’t take your eyes off him as you swallow your drink.

“You’re so hot.” You murmur still looking into his eyes and he chuckles at your statement, pouring another shot.

“To us, to Busan, to forever.” He cheers and takes the shot of happiness, while you chug the shot down and it suddenly tastes bitter. You need about 15 of them to forget the man in front of you is the one you’re leaving. 

Suddenly it’s 3 hours later and you’re drunk, still aware, but are one drink away from hanxiety the next day. “Love, dance with me.” Jaeyun licks your ear and leads you to the middle of the living room which serves tonight as a dance floor. Pressing your body against his you start to dance to whatever pop song seems to be playing in the background, your hips swaying against him, your arse pressed to his groin and one hand reaching to the back of his head, the feeling of pure bliss overtaking you. 

You can feel his cock growing hard beneath you as you grind into him. You look up to him but his eyes are fixated on someone else at the other end of the room. Sunghoon. Internally you cringe thinking about what happened last time, and honestly, the black-haired boy has been nothing but respectful towards you after your birthday, but that doesn’t mean Jaeyun doesn’t feel his shoulders go rigid as he sees the attractive guy’s stare burn into you. Sunghoon's crush on you never left and Jaeyun was all too aware. He had to show Sunghoon you were his girl, so, Jaeyun’s hand slid down the front of you, his middle and forefinger dancing over your skin. “Jaeyun, what are you doing?”

No answer. But as his eyes fixate on the boys across from you, he smirks and slinks his fingers up your skirt, bypassing your underwear. A gasp suddenly leaves your lips as his fingertips ghost over your clit. “Jae…there are people around, let's go somewhere- '' A hard press to your core stops your sentence and you lose all sense of yourself, Jaeyun’s thumb now rubbing your nub. The music surrounding you is suddenly muted, and the air is too hot as two of his fingers invade your entrance hitting the spot that has your legs shaking. Jaeyun smirks as you try to hold your groan in, his eyes on a furious Sunghoon. It had been over a year but Jaeyun still liked to rub it into dear Sunghoon that he got the girl. “I’m serious, Jaeyun.” you whisper but his fingers only increase the pace, kissing your neck softly, tracing over his previous mark on occasion.

“You want me to stop, baby?” His voice is hoarse and mocking, and all you can let out is a moan, tossing your head back onto his shoulder, not caring if the whole party sees him touching you. His fingers move faster and with more urgency as he feels you clench around him. “Good girl.” thankfully the lights were so low and everyone was beyond obliterated due to the overconsumption of alcohol that no one was noticing, well, everyone but Sunghoon. “Come for me, Princess, show them it’s me that makes you feel this good.” His lips trace your ear as he picks up the pace, eager to get you off. His eyes are not leaving Sunghoons’. Your high comes crashing over you as his fingers hit your sweet spot and thumb traces your clit harshly, it takes every part of you not to moan like a common porn star. Sunghoon awkwardly coughs at the sight and turns away embarrassed and absolutely livid. 

You however are riding out your climax on your boyfriend’s fingers. “Fuck, Jaeyun.” you breathe out and he chuckles behind your ear, turning you around to face him.

“Good?”

“Fantastic.” You laugh until he sticks his fingers into your mouth, letting you taste your own release and you whimper, lapping his digits with your tongue. “So beautiful.” He whispers watching you.

This party was exactly what you needed.

________

Two days until you leave. There is an aching in your chest as you attend your job for the last time. It was a shitty convenience store job but you loved it deep down. The regulars, your boss, the people you worked with. You won’t miss the bright blue uniform though. You remember the day you told Jaeyun you got the job and he acted like you became the CEO of some high-end company. ‘My beautiful hard-working girl, I can’t even begin to describe the pride in my heart’ the memory of him picking you up and kissing you all over floods every inch of your body. The way he kissed you and the way his eyes sparkled as they bore into yours, that grin that was plastered on his face as he suggested congratulatory sex - he would use any excuse.

“Hey, sweetheart.” Jaeyun comes behind you wrapping his arms around you and his lips kissing your neck softly. You sink into him, his usual citrus with a woody undertone engulfs your senses. Biting your lip you try not to get caught up in this feeling. “Miss me?”

“Jaeyun I’m working,” Turning around you look into his big, shimmering eyes and suddenly regret everything you’ve been doing. To him, to yourself. He simply smiles and kisses you lovingly, one long everlasting kiss followed by small pecks, feeling his smile with each one. 

“You get off soon, just bail.” His plump pink lips trail down your jaw and land back on your neck. It's hard not to give in to him. 

“Baby, let me finish.” You pout and try to focus on stacking the shelves of the local mart. 

Jaeyun’s hands grip your hips harder leaning in to whisper in your ear, “I can make you finish if you want.” His teeth nip at your earlobe and you feel his smirk appearing. This boy will be the death of you. Jaeyun revels in the effect he has on you as he can almost hear your heart beating through your chest. He thinks only soulmates can notice minute things like that.

“I will attend to your every need when my shift is over, but for the next 20 minutes these cans of butter beans have my full attention.” He laughs and kisses you. 

“Butter beans…I love it when you talk dirty.” You slap his chest lightly and laugh. You’ll miss this. Maybe you should just tell him, to change your plans. You could find work in Busan surely. One look at him and you’d drop everything for him, hell, you were even planning to skip the end of your shift just so he could fuck you in his car. You needed him. That was the problem. You needed him, relied on him. 

Pushing the thoughts to the back of your mind you smile up at your puppy boyfriend and wrap your arms around his neck, “Sim Jaeyun you are the most infuriating person I have ever met.” 

The sun creeps in the shop windows and lights up his face as he smiles and pecks your lips. 

“You love me though.” He declares proudly, his teeth showing as he beams widely. 

“So much.” Too much. 

“Good, then hurry up and get this shift out the way so I can have you all to myself.” With that he kisses you, biting your bottom lip as he pulls away. Jaeyun finds you irresistable whenever he sees you and his heart bursts with pride that you are his. “I have a surprise for you.” His eyebrows raise cheekily as he bites his lip and he leaves the store in a hurry. He goes to double-check he has everything he needs.

While you were at work you had no idea Jaeyun was planning anything. 

Jaeyun phones Heeseung to check in and make sure everything is set up. Heesung doesn’t appreciate the interrogation considering the plan was actually his idea but he lets his best friend away with it considering this was a big deal for him.

“Yes Jake everything is set up, i followed your strict to-the-point plan exactly as.” Heeseung rolled his eyes affectionately over the phone. He loved Jaeyun so much, being the only one of his friends that left for college early was hard, but he came back when he could and he would be damned if he missed this.

“Thanks, mate. I owe you one. And the r-”

“In the glove compartment. I told you, everything is sorted.” Jaeyun exhales and checks the glove compartment to see the white box. It's prettily decorated in a pink bow with the edges dusted in silver glitter, “She’ll love it. You know she loves everything if it's got something to do with you.” Heeseung’s voice blares through the phone with endearment.

If there was one supporter of you and Jaeyun it was Heeseung. Every day he had to hear about you through Jaeyun, he felt like he was part of the relationship with you. He had to sit through Jaeyun describing every outfit you wore, every time you changed your perfume, and every new song you recommended because it reminded you of him, Heeseung has been through it all. "Jake, stop overthinking it, you guys are meant to be and if it doesn't then I don't believe in love" he laughs through the phone and Jaeyun joins him. It isn't a question in his mind if you're going to be with him forever, it's a fact.

"Shit, she's coming. Thanks again, mate." Jaeyun hangs up quickly, hiding the box in the pocket of his car door. You've changed into your usual jeans and t-shirt and to Jaeyun you look like the most beautiful being to ever roam the earth. "Hey, my love." 

"I wish you would have told me we were doing something, I would have brought nicer clothes with me." 

"You say that like aphrodite doesn't worship the ground you walk on even in jeans." Jaeyun passes off the comment nonchalantly but your heart flips within your chest. He had a way with words that no late teen should have the possession to have. Beautiful and gorgeous weren’t good enough adjectives for him to describe you, he always had to go a step further because to him you were worth more than compliments that are used on pets and under celebrities' Instagram posts. Even if he couldn’t fathom the right words to describe you he was still going to try his hardest to make you feel like the most exquisite human in the world.

As you buckle your seatbelt, face still flushed, you hear Jaeyun fiddling with the music. His car was a shitty little black 1998 honda civic he got for pennies from an uncle looking to make a quick quid. It was so old it didn’t have an aux but rather was graced with a cassette player. Jaeyun didn’t mind because it meant he could make cute mixtapes like in the old 2000s movies. One he even made for your road trip you took during Christmas break filled with all the songs that reminded him of you, most of them being love songs with the one accidental Hotel Room Service by Pitbull in there because he couldn’t figure out how to get it off. It soon became your song. 

“I think I’ve made the best mixtape of all time,” Jaeyun gloats as he wags the cassette tape between his fingers before slotting it in, “you will love it.” Jaeyun spent the good part of yesterday perfecting each song that went on it and always with you in mind. The first song that blared was ‘Love is All Around’ by Wetter. 

“My favourite song.” you mutter and look at him adoringly, noticing the smile creep onto his face clearly proud of himself. His hand clasps yours as he brings it to his lips and kisses it gently. 

“It’s slowly becoming my favourite too.” He turns to face you with love glazed over his eyes. You could cry right there. No one will ever love you as much as Jaeyun does. “You know they’re playing a show in Busan in the fall. If you want I’ll grab us tickets since we’ll be up there anyway.” His head turns to pay attention to the road, his hands not leaving yours as he moves the gear stick. Sickness submerges you and the colour rushes from your face. God, why are you doing this? This is so silly just tell him.

“Jaeyun I-”

“I’ll buy the tickets next pay. They’ve had tickets sat there for a while so I don’t think they’ll sell out within the two weeks.” He interrupts and in a way you’re thankful. Swallowing the lump in your throat you thank him and turn to look out the window, your hand still snug in his. Jaeyun notices how you’ve clammed up but he leaves it for now. He knows when to ask you if anything is wrong and it is not right now. 

The whole car journey takes about 32 minutes and Jaeyun held your hand and squeezed it intermittently for 31 of those minutes, that 1 other minute he used to take a few gulps of water. His mouth was dry from the anticipation, of going over everything he had planned in his head. It had to be perfect, you didn’t deserve anything less. 

“We’re here, Princess.” Jaeyun’s voice and the car coming to a stop pull you out of your thoughts and you smile softly at him. He puts a finger up indicating for you to wait as he gets out of the car and rushes round to your side to open the door, “Right this way.” One hand opened the door and the other elongated to point towards the grassy hill. Nothing was worse to you than walking up a hill but you’ll let it slide this once since your boyfriend has put so much effort into whatever this is.

Side-eyeing him you get out of the car trying not to fall which in your case happens far more often than you would like to admit, “Making me walk after a 6-hour shift should be criminal.” You say as a pout forms on your lips.

Jaeyun’s face however is beaming, “Ah see I knew you would complain about that,” He starts, “I’m going to carry you.” He kneels down in front of you with his back in your sight, “Hop on, baby.”

“You cannot be serious? Babe, you can’t possibly carry me up there.” His head turns and eyebrows furrowed as he stares at you with a look of confusion.

“Does my girlfriend not have any faith in her very strong and capable boyfriend?” One of his eyebrows raises as he scoffs seeing the look of disbelief written on your face. “Trust me,” he pats his back, “get on and have some faith in your man.” 

A genuine laugh erupts from you and you oblige with his instruction. Straddling his back you hook your legs around his waist as he hoists you up almost effortlessly, “Have you been working out?” you ask curiously. Lifting one arm and posing with it he says, “Babygirl I’ve been packing these guns since I was a kid, John Cena is jealous.” Placing your head on his shoulder you laugh and the sound fills his ears like music from angels. Jaeyun kisses your cheeks and points forward, “To the top!”

“To the top!” You mimic him and he goes forth. 

When you reach the top surprisingly with no stops, Jaeyun sets you down gently and you can see his arm veins popping from the tension of holding you up. They’re delicious and it’s the one thing you’ve never been able to get over about your boyfriend and he knows it. In school he’ll roll up his sleeves when he has the same class as you because he knows you’ll be staring, practically drooling over them. One time before coming over to yours he made sure they were protrusive, clenching and unclenching his fists and he was happy with the results of his endeavours, the night ending with you riding his fingers, gripping onto his arms desperate to feel his veins under your touch.

“Baby?” Jaeyun bends forward, his head tilted looking up at you, “you in there?” his hand waving in front of your face snaps you out of your memories as you smile and say a simple “Hmm?”

“I said ta-da!” He exclaims, hopping in his place and outstretching his arms. You follow his gesture and see fairy lights wrapped, or more so tangled, around two trees which illuminate the picnic blanket underneath, two baskets are situated on either side and a bouquet of flowers lies in the middle. You follow the trail of rose petals that lead up to the beautiful scene in front of you. No words can escape your mouth and Jaeyun starts to get nervous, rubbing the back of his neck and letting out a half laugh, half huff. “I know it’s cheesy and cliche but I remember you reading about it in one of your books and saying you loved the idea of a midnight picnic. I know it’s not midnight but-”

The touch of your lips on his cuts off his rambling explanation. Jaeyun’s hands settle upon your waist as he kisses you back sentimentally and with relief washing over his body. You liked it and that’s all that matters.

“Come on,” he pulls away and gives you his hand to take leading you up the petalled scattered path and you don’t take your eyes off him. Your heart is so full and it is breaking all at the same time, “I got you all your favourites; kimchi pancakes, tteokbokki,  some chicken and spinach samosas,” he continues listing everything he has prepared but you’re too infatuated by the boy who stand before you, his dark hair shorter than when you first met, the side parting of his bangs framing his matured face, those delectable lips that gave you so much pleasure over the years and whispers sweet nothings into your ears any chance he could. Your eyes travel down to his blue and white striped Ralf Lauren polo-necked jumper, he looked so beautiful, so unreal. He was yours, at least for now. 

“I love you, Jaeyun.” You blurt out not even meaning to, just pure raw emotion taking over your body. 

Jaeyun has heard you say it a thousand times but it doesn’t stop the hairs standing on his neck and the crimson flush kissing the tip of his cheeks. He noted the undertone was a little different this time, not like you didn’t mean it every time but that this confession was more purposeful than the others. He takes your hips into his hands and looks down at you. “I love you too, Y/N. So fucking much.” His heart swells so big he thinks it might rupture. The next kiss he gives you has you tearing up. It’s so amatory yet pure, he truly loves you and harbours deep feelings not even psychologists could explain, it was more than consummate love, it’s nothing that can be theorised and dissected. It's yours and it's his. And in 2 days you were giving it up. After pulling you down on the blanket Jaeyun starts to unpack the picnic baskets. The smell invades your nostrils and your mouth waters. Everything looks so good. 

Jaeyun notices the hearts in your eyes as you stare at the food. He has to thank Jay for cooking it all when he sees him next. His chopsticks pick up the tteokbokki and hover it in front of you, “Here, take a bite, baby girl.” and you wrap your mouth around the delectable food you know he didn’t make. Jaeyun couldn’t so much as cook a simple lasagne without burning it and setting off the fire alarm. Suddenly a laugh leaves your mouth and your boyfriend cocks his head, “What’s so funny?” Waving your hand dismissively in front of him. The image of him wafting a green and yellow dishtowel under the alarm to clear the smoke is imprinted in your brain. It was the first time he cooked for you, your 100-day anniversary dinner turned into his dad airing out the kitchen and giving a long lecture about how Jake needed life skills. “It’s nothing, I’m just happy.” you say honestly. You were so happy here with him.

He hums and you continue like this, eating and laughing under the twinkling lights. As the food diminishes his heartbeat gets louder, more rampant. The reason for this grand spectacle of a date finally showing its head. “Um, Y/N?” His voice is nervous and you put down your plate giving him your undivided attention. 

“Yeah?” Noticing the sweat start to collect on his forehead you start to get worried. Did he know? Was he about to confess that he knew your plan all along and he actually did all this to convince you to stay? Is he giving up everything for you? Or is it simply too warm on this May evening?

“Hoo okay so,” He starts and turns his whole body to face you, taking your smaller hands in his shaking ones. “I love you, so much, and uh, okay um,” Jaeyun had planned this whole speech with Heeseung playing you in the scenario, the elder threatening to put on a wig and some eyeliner, “I need to get into character!” he had proclaimed. 

Even after all this preparation he still wasn’t sure what to say to you, he forgot all his words as he looked at your golden hour-kissed face that was staring back at him. 

He inhales deeply and calms himself pushing out the air slowly. “I love you, and I have ever since that first day at school.” His eyes flicker down to the necklace he got you for your birthday and then meet your eyes once more, "you took the breath from my lungs and to be honest, every time I look at you I still forget how to breathe. I don't know if there is such a thing as soulmates or twin flames or even matches made in heaven but baby you're all of them to me. I curse the stars every night because they get admired for being so beautiful yet you're the brightest one in the universe, you're my sun, my moon, and all the stars. You deserve all the admiration they get and if I can spend the rest of my life looking at you and studying you like I'm some astronomer then I know I've lived my life well."

A pause, two hearts beating rapidly, enough love shared between you both it could probably initiate world peace. 

Jaeyun takes out the box from his pocket and gives it to you. His hands are shaking violently. "I want you to know I'm so serious about us, Y/N." Taking the box from his hands it's now your turn to shake. "Open it." he huffs out, head dizzy.

Peeling off the baby pink bow and lifting the lid you see two rings and two keys. The rings are small, and silver, and there is a mid-sized heart on it which contrasts the thin band. Glancing up Jaeyun scoots forward and takes the left ring out, "Before you freak out I'm not proposing," a half-hearted laugh leaves his mouth as he takes the ring between his thumb and his pointer finger, never taking his eyes off it, "This is my promise to you that from now until forever, I am yours. A pinky ring," he takes your left pinky and slides it on slowly, "until I can get you a wedding ring."

Tears are streaming down your face as you laugh at the adjusted lyrics he's managed to embed in his speech. The ring fits so perfectly on you. Jaeyun had them handmade and saved up every bit of his wages to get them. They were simple because at the end of the day, he's still only shy of 19 and hasn't exactly got cash streaming in but for you, it's more than enough. Enough to show his undying and devoted love to you. 

"And this," he picks up one of the keys, "is the key to our flat in Busan. I know we should be living in dorms but I struck a really good deal with a sweet landlady. Don't think I could go a day in this life without seeing you, and if we live together then I'll see you all the time." Jaeyun smiles sheepishly looking at the key as he places it in your now ring-cladded hand.

Don't think I could go a day in this life without seeing you.

The tears streaming down your face once ones of happiness are now overbearing with sadness. You were letting this almost too-perfect boy go, all for the fear of losing him in the long run. It didn't make sense but it was too late. Your mind made itself up. It was easier to leave him now and cut ties than watch him break away from you piece by piece. Surely that hurts more.

Fixing your gaze on the key you sob and Jaeyun starts to panic, "Baby listen if it’s all too fast we ca-" 

You forget how many times since you've been dating that you interrupt him just to kiss him but here you are for the nth time. You're cupping his neck as your thumbs situate themselves on his cheeks and he feels the cold ring against his skin, a small smile appearing. 

Your hands find their way to his shoulders and massage them lightly. Jaeyun doesn’t beg for any reassurance because in his mind this is enough. Your kisses and touch are enough of a yes for him. 

Jaeyun suddenly picks you up and carries you back down to the car. “I need to make love to you so bad but it won't be in a car.” His voice is disappointed but you knew Jaeyun wasn’t a big fan of fucking in the car. You’ve done it twice before but to him it didn't give him the space he needed to 'do you right'.

The car journey is filled with silent but desperate touches. Jaeyun is speeding to his home recklessly, all he is thinking about is you. He glances at the pinky ring and smiles; you are his, and he is undoubtedly yours. 

As he parks in his garage and you both make your way up the stairs you feel him pawing at you desperately. Jaeyun pushes you into his room, his lips on yours messily and needing. 

“Princess,” He groans as he feels your hand press against his groin, “you’re dangerous.” 

You laugh, the last genuine one you’ll let out for a while you think. This will be your last time with Jaeyun, you decided on the way to his home.

His hands grab the collar of his t-shirt and yank it off in a smooth motion, leaving his bare chest in your eye line, the hickeys you gave him last week faded but still scattered. Quickly, he bends slightly, gripping your ass tightly and picking you, his lips all over your face. He lets a quiet ‘so beautiful’ escape his mouth. 

“Jaeyun, fuck I need you.” He nods into your neck, gently putting you on the bed, his chest not leaving yours as he feels up and down your body. 

“I know, Princess, you’re gonna be a good girl, and wait though, yeah?” The arrogance in his voice just turns you on more, declaring that you’re his good girl in a huffed-out moan that gets him out of his trousers in record time. The button of your jeans is undone and he tugs them and your underwear off, leaving you bare. “All mine.” he whispers to himself as he kisses up the inner of your left thigh, lingering longer the closer he gets to your center. 

It’s so wet, desperate for his touch it’s like it’s crying for him. “You’re so wet baby, don’t even think I need to prep you.” He presses a butterfly kiss to your clit teasingly and you rapidly shake your head.

“No, Yunie, please.” You slip out the nickname that only seems to come out when your brain is so fogged in want that you can’t even say his name in full. His breath hits your sensitive spot when he chuckles at how desperate you are. 

His hands crawl up to the top of your thighs to hold them down and open as he nibbles gently at the sensitive skin of your inner thigh. Your hips push up, seeking his mouth where you need it most. Jaeyun presses soft warm kisses across your core before tracing his tongue slowly upwards. 

Your hands find their way to his hair, gripping harshly as you plead for more. Being the perfect boyfriend he is he complies, groaning softly as he feels your desperation in your fingers tugging his hair. “Tell me what you want, love. Tell me what you need.” His voice is low and husky, his tongue working you faster awaiting further instructions. 

“F-fingers. I want your fingers.” All sense of shame leaves your body every time he fucks you, not caring if you sound needy. 

His tongue slides over your clit, hearing your plea, then gently moves his right fourth and middle fingers up to your heat, circling your entrance. “These fingers?” His mocking tone causes you to groan in aggravation, just yearning for him to do it. He swiftly pushes them inside you, opening you up. He watches for your reactions to make sure it’s pleasant for you and by your open mouth and head thrown back, he’s okay to continue. They hook into you and move back and forth in a smooth and sensual rhythm, touching you the way you like it.

Feeling your walls contract he knows you’re close to the edge, “Gonna cum on my fingers baby? So soon?” He inserts another finger which only adds to the pleasure running through your veins, the stretch feels magical. 

You’re a moaning mess as he finds your sweet spot, thrusting harshly as he works it. “Let it all out, Princess. Show me how I’m making you feel.” His voice alone could send you tipping over, but it’s his tongue flicking your clit and sucking it that had you screaming his name loud enough for the whole house to hear. He doesn’t stop you, loving the sound of his name falling from your lips. “That’s it, angel, doing so good for me.” The three fingers continue inside you, helping you ride out your orgasm. 

Panting, you get up on your elbows and look down at him, his mouth glistening with your release. You stare at him a bit longer, mentally capturing the image and keeping it locked away for a day until you need it again. On a day he isn’t with you. Any day after tomorrow.

“You’re so hot when you cum like that. Like I’m the only one that can do that.” Jaeyun mumbles against your skin as he kisses from your thigh to your stomach. His mouth feels the vibration as you laugh and he looks up, puzzled.

“Jaeyun, you’re the only person I’ve had sex with, of course you’re the only one that can do that.” He looks down at your stomach and laughs with you. Before the next sentence makes you feel like you’re stomach is in knots.

“And I’ll always be the only one, until the day we die, you’re mine forever, Y/N.” It’s innocent on his part but you feel sick as his kisses return to your abdomen. He won't be the only one you touch and you won't be the only one to touch him. “You’re thinking about something,” He doesn’t look at you but lays kisses on your chest and neck until his eyes find yours, “Tell me.”

His iris’ bore into yours and you push down whatever thoughts you have, determined not to ruin your last night with him. “Just that I want you to fuck me.” The back of your hand strokes his cheek and a flip switches inside him that went from concern to lust. 

Grabbing a condom from your drawer he slips it on with earnestness. 

The head of his cock is suddenly at your pussy, sliding up and down. He slaps it a few times against your clit, his signature move and you can’t get enough of it. “Say please and I’ll think about it.” There he was, typical Jaeyun, but you knew he was just as needy as you were at this point.. As you let out a whispered ‘please’ he kisses you, his tip penetrating, “Good girl.”

A deep breath leaves him as your walls squeeze him. He’s slow and teasing, filling you up slowly at first until he can’t hold himself back and his thrusts become more urgent, determined to make you feel good. Your combined moans echo around the room as you both lose yourself in the moment of the intense act. 

Jaeyun’s left hand finds yours, clasping tightly as he fucks you hard. A loving smile plasters over his face when he looks down at your joined hands and feels your matching pinky rings sit next to each other, his love for you so evident, so pure, even in this lustful moment. His heart is filling with adoration for letting him be yours. Bringing your hand to his face he kisses your pinky tenderly. 

Your body is so overcome with love and emotion that you start to cry, crying over the love you have for him, the love you’ll lose. 

“Hey,” His voice a whisper as he stills in you, “Princess, are you okay? Did I hurt you?” The concern in his voice drifts through our ears and you move your head from side to side. 

“No baby,” He hasn’t hurt you, but you’re going to hurt him and it makes you cry harder. “I love you so much.” You sob and laugh knowing how ridiculous this looks on the surface. Jaeyun smiles adoringly at you, the hand that once held yours now wiping your tears away.

His lips kiss the apples of your cheeks to clean the last bit of wetness and sighs, “You had me worried, sweatheart.” He brushes your hair off your face and says, “I love you too. Till my last dying breath.” A sob leaves you again but Jaeyun’s soft thrusts bring you back. 

As his hips find the perfect rhythm again your worries leave you for the time being and focus on how good he is making you feel. “S-so good.” 

“Yeah?” The cocky face he has falls into a pleasured one as your cunt squeezes him tight, “Jesus fuck, Y/N, take me so well. Love you so much.” The way the raw emotion is pouring out of him you beg yourself to do something reckless.

“The c-condom.” You say breathlessly and he slows down, one of Jaeyun's eyes opens

 as he comes out of his aroused daze and mutters a ‘huh?’, “The condom, take it off.” His eyes shoot open and he stops again to your annoyance.

He re-adjusts himself, his hands placed at each side of your head. “I don’t think I heard you right.” Jaeyun was always cautious, always careful. Not once, despite his sometimes desperate need, has he ever fucked you without a condom. “You want me to fuck you without it?”

“I need to feel you.” His cock sits half in you making it easy when you slip off him, “I want to feel it all.” He leans in with his forehead against yours, his breathing ragged and his chest moving fast. “Please.”

Running a hand through his hair now perched on his knees above you he thinks about it. “You’re still taking the birth control?” He sees you nod and point to your desk where you keep all your medication. “Every day.”

He huffs and mutters, thinking about what consequences could come from this. 

“Fuck it.” 

You smile at him, grateful. If this was going to be the last time you had him, you needed to have him completely without barriers. He peels off the wet condom and throws it in the bin beside your desk before crawling forward back on top of you. “You sure?” Nodding you wait for him but he doesn’t move, “Use your words, Princess.” His hand holds your cheek as he awaits your verbal permission.

“I’m sure, Jaeyun. Fuck me.” It’s almost like the first time you had sex with him when you lost yourselves to each other, a new experience to share. Another first.

After your confirmation, he slowly enters you again and Jaeyun wishes he had done this sooner, feeling every bump of your walls cuddle his cock overwhelms him and he lets out a low groan, almost collapsing on top of you and cumming right there and then. 

You match his experience, feeling pleasure like never before. “Jaeyun…” You slip your hand down to circle your clit but he slaps it away, “Nu-uh, mine.” His possessive tone and his raw cock have you convulsing around him, two seconds from bliss. His middle finger rubs up side to side on your hard sensitive nub, exactly what you were going to do but better, and you cum for the second time, but this wave so hard that the breath is knocked from your lungs. 

Jaeyun doesn’t let up, feeling your raw pussy cumming around him only has him striving for release, the sooner the better. If he doesn’t cum soon he might get addicted and never let his dick have a rest. “That’s it, baby. So fucking beautiful when you cum on my dick like that.” His thrusts get sharper, more determined, and focused as his head falls back, “You’re so fucking perfect. Made for me, only me.” You cry out as he continues to rub your clit and pound into you, he’s overstimulating you but you don’t care, you need it. 

“Cum inside me baby, fill me up, please, please.” You grab his face and stare into his beautiful big eyes and he cums. So deep. So beautiful. You feel every drop coat your walls, giving you the feeling of utter bliss. His mewl is loud and his hips stutter inside you, continuing to spurt his seed like an ever-going fountain, he doesn’t think he’ll ever stop. 

“Fuck, Princess. Pussy is taking it so well.” Jaeyun’s kiss is welcomed on your lips as you smile, aware of the cum leaking past his cock inside you and onto the sheets. 

As you both regain composure and your eyes meet you both laugh loudly, his body weight falling on top of you. “You’re fucking incredible.” He kisses along your breasts for a while before easing his cock out of you, the sight of his white cum dripping from you almost makes him hard again. He is so pathetically in love with you, and this just made him wish the ring he gave you was an engagement one.

His hands reach out for yours as he stands up, “Come on, Princess, let me get you cleaned up.” You take his hand gladly but he abruptly lifts you bridal style and stares at you, “I’m so happy you’re mine.”

_____

The next morning you wake up with your boyfriend's naked body draped over you, his ring shining in the sunlight. This is it. You had one more day with him but after last night you couldn’t risk another second with him. Every inch of your body is saying your reasoning doesn’t make sense. If you were so in love you could make long-distance work. But you had made your bed so now it was time to wallow in it. 

Busan will have lots of pretty girls, far more spectacular and interesting than you will ever be. He’ll be fine. Deep down you know this will hurt him but Jaeyun is strong, he’ll get over it. 

Getting dressed quietly and stealing glances at his sleeping figure you hold in tears. You’re so stupid for this. You’re leaving the love of your life because you’re scared of losing him. 

Silently, you slip the ring off your pinky finger and place it on his dresser. The thought of leaving a note crosses your mind but as your boyfriend stirs you realise there is no time for that. You need to leave while you can.

As you sneak out the front door, the sun is shining but there is a bone-chilling breeze that cuts through you, you know it’s going to pour down later. Your phone vibrates with an email from your college. During the night you emailed to ask if your accommodation would be ready earlier and you presume this is the reply.

Mail: From: Avanti College RE: Housing Enquiry.

Dear Y/N L/N,

I am responding to your inquiry regarding accommodation. The room is available as of today, however, there is no concierge available to give you your keys. Your assigned roommate has been made aware of your occupancy and is expecting you today and will let you in. Please collect your accommodation key on the date previously arranged.

Kind Regards,

Cho Min Woo

Head of Accommodation and Living.

You let out a breath you never even realised you were holding. It’s now you against the world and a roommate you don’t know whether hates you for intruding early or couldn’t give two shits. Making your way home you start to run, you need to grab your bag, book a bus, and go. No looking back and definitely no overthinking. 

Thankfully you took the liberty of packing earlier in the week so you could make a mad dash out the door if needed but you still had to let someone know where you were going. The last thing you needed was your face being posted all over socials on missing persons blogs, they didn’t need to think you were dead. So when you enter your bedroom you grab a pen and pad that are sitting on your desk and scribble a note to your mum and dad. You don’t go into detail, just the basics saying you need a fresh start in a new city. You contemplate whether to include the college but they’d just drive up and drag you home, or worse, tell Jaeyun. 

As you sign the note with your name you’re holding your breath and tears. No more seeing this room, or your parents, or Ryujin, or Jaeyun. You fucked up so bad but you need to see this through. For your future. If you give up on your plan now you really don’t have a future and you’re stuck here, and to you, that is scarier.

_______

Incoming Call: My Love &lt;3

Missed Call (67) My Love &lt;3

Missed Call (34) Dad

Missed Call (23) Mum

You sigh and turn your music up. The bus is fully loaded as you managed to book one of the only two coaches leaving for Pyeongchang. Your hands are shaking as you click on the messages sent by Jaeyun.

07:30 am Princess, where are you? 

07:30 am Are you coming back to bed? xx

07:49 am Y/N I’m getting worried

07:52 am Pick up your phone baby please talk to me

07:52 am If I pushed you too far yesterday I’m sorry…

08:16 am Why are your parents saying you’ve left?

08:16 am Baby don’t do this

08:17 am What does your letter mean ‘I need a fresh start from everyone and everything’

08:17 am You aren’t leaving, right? You’re not leaving me, are you?

08:23 am Please please please

The messages continue down the same route until the very last few sent only minutes ago.

10:32 am I will search every part of this country until I find you

10:32 am You can’t expect me to just forget about you? Will you please answer your fucking phone?

10:34 am Y/N…I can’t make you answer me, or love me, but just know I love you and I’m sorry for whatever I did. I’m leaving for Busan in two weeks. Come home then and you won’t hear from me again. Don’t leave your parents like this baby they can’t lose you.

10:34 am I can’t lose you but if it's what you want…I’ll go.

A new message pops up on the phone from Jaeyun as your eyes are blurred with tears.

10:41 am: I love you, I won’t ever stop. My heart is yours, always. Until the sun stops shining.

You let out a sob so loud the whole bus turns to you. Putting a hand over your mouth you bow in apology and proceed to block everyone’s number, when you get to Pyeongchang you’ll get a new phone.

________

Jaeyun’s heart hasn’t stopped breaking since you left. He thought you were happy about your future together, all for you to have planned a whole other life without him. It hurts. Physically and emotionally he doesn’t have the courage to do anything but try and understand you. 

Did he read you wrong? Did he force this foreseeable life on you? Did you just not want him? It’s impossible for him to comprehend and it’s driving him crazy.

As he pulls up back to his house he sees Heeseung’s car in the driveway. He can’t deal with this right now. He loved Heeseung of course but he just wanted to go home and try and think through everything that had happened this morning. Sighing, Jaeyun makes his way up the stairs, ignoring his parent’s questions of ‘Where have you been?’

“Jake my man! Tell me how it went, you went radio silent last night, I’m presuming that meant it went well.” Heeseung says wiggling his eyebrows as Jaeyun walks into the bedroom, his head hung low to hide his swollen eyes. “Jake? You okay?” 

It’s a question he doesn’t know how to answer so instead he tilts his head back to stop the tears and exhales loudly. “Did-” Heeseung stands up and cautiously makes his way over to the younger, “did she not like it? What did she say?”

Jaeyun looks everywhere but Heeseung, his eyes hazed with tears and then he catches a glimpse of the ring on his table. Uncontrollable sobs leave him and Heeseung brings him forcefully into a hug. “She left.” 

The worry that was on Heeseung’s face quickly changed to astonishment. He was flabbergasted by Jaeyun’s statement. “Jake, what do you mean she left?” 

“Me, us, her family, she left everything behind.” The crying only got louder the more he spoke, muffled by his best friend’s chest as he nuzzled in further for comfort.

“Let me call her-”

“No use, she won't answer. She’s going straight to voicemail. Not even her mum can get a hold of her.” Jaeyun steps back and fetches the note from his jeans pocket and silently hands it to Heeseung. As Heeseung reads the letter, Jaeyun walks towards the ring and picks it up, anxiously biting his lip as he looks at it. His promise to you lying in the palm of his hand. Jaeyun starts to remember all the times he spoke about marrying you, even when people said young love doesn’t last you both just shut them out. A part of him wonders if they got in your head and he was too wrapped up in everything he didn’t notice, didn’t give you the reassurance you needed. But then, wasn’t this ring reassurance enough?

“What the actual fuck!” Heeseung exclaims, pulling Jaeyun out of his trance. “Jake…fuck, what the fuck is she thinking?” Somehow Heeseung is more angry than Jaeyun. He grips the letter tight and waves it in the air, “So she didn’t accept the ring?” The glint from the silver flashes in front of Heeseung as he stares with wide eyes.

“She accepted it. Last night went better than I could have imagined,” Jaeyun starts, “It was this morning she left.” A slow tear falls from his right eye as he finally makes eye contact with his best friend. “What did I do, Hee?”

Nothing. Heeseung knew the puppy-like boy had done nothing wrong. With two long strides, Heeseung pulls him back into a hug and almost crushes him with the pressure. Jaeyun liked hugs like this the most, ones that had intent and emotions. Heeseung was fuming and Jaeyun was breaking. Fire and Ice reacting to the same situation.

“You did fuck all wrong, Jake. I don’t get what's going through her head.” He huffs and pushes Jaeyun so he is arm's length away, his hands gripping his shoulders as he stares into his eyes, “You did everything right, she’s just-”

“Don’t. Don’t say anything about her okay? You don’t know her. She wouldn’t do this without a good reason.”

“And what? She couldn’t tell you what the reason was and instead pussied out and left? She should have told you she was leaving last night before she got your hopes up and accepted that ring, no?” Jaeyun knew Heeseung was right but his love for you was still as strong as ever so his instincts kicked in to defend you.

“Fuck you man you don’t get to speak about her like that. I might not understand it now but I don’t doubt in my mind she did it for a reason she thought was valid,” Jaeyun is pushing Heeseung out the door, his voice low, dangerous, “She wouldn’t have told me last night to protect my feelings.”

Heeseung looks his friend dead in the eye, a flame behind them Jaeyun hasn’t seen before. “Yeah? How are your feelings right now then? Do they feel protected?” Silence. The whole house is still as he scoffs and sticks his tongue in his cheek. “Think about that.” 

Heeseung storms out of the Sim residence and Jaeyun slams his door. How could Heeseung say that when he doesn’t even know the reasons behind your departure? Jaeyun is envious of him in reality. He wants to be that mad and get out all his feelings. But for now, he’ll wallow in this hurt for a few more days. Everything will come crashing once he leaves for Busan to your shared- 

His flat. 

[blood-starved-beast]

Wouldn't say it's the best character design in Hades game franchise (that is subjective) but for me personally Eris Hades game II has to be my favorite design in the whole IP.

From Hades game I the goddess of strife was established to be source of conflict within the narrative - she is a bearer of the Adamant Rail - something that goes against the narrative setting of the story within Ancient Times. They build further on this anachronism by evoking Punk aesthetic - we see her short hair, wild colors, studded corset, torn clothes, wild makeup (which double as evoking her own wings), her band makes her look like she's got tattoos, eating plastic wrapped snacks, her disregard for typical social norms. Her and Exagryph both are anachronistic and therefore punk by the aesthetics of the game. While also not being too off - she wears a chiton still. As well as that braided bra style idk what's it called.

Her design simultaneously works withing the narrative of the story. I've already talked a bit here how she scratches out the Moon Sigil on her gorget and wears it upside down on her face to opposed the Unseen. But that sigil on her face also golden - which we've specifically associate with Chronos, the Unseen's Enemy (who prefer silver). It's also gold like her Iconic Golden Apple, the symbol of her most famous crime. Eris's design also bears the colors of the Three Eriynes - who in the first game, serve as a much more personal antagonist and foil to Zagreus the protagonist there. Here, Eris is Mel's most personal guardian boss outside of Hecate - they've got beef with each other, and that's likely due to their past history.

The colors and the tassels to me also recall the jester archetype. The jester in history was tasked to entertain the king and also dole out information that the royals might not want to hear (and do so without getting killed cause rule of funny). Eris is the most verbally opposed to Mel - challenges her on her motivations especially. Why is she so hell bent on this task when she doesn't even know her family (who she might not fit in with)? What does she plan to do with her life then? Loosen up! Which she tries to get Mel to do - by fighting her to the death. "This is for your own good Trouble" and all. The Jester indeed.

This conflict leads me to another detail - Eris is an excellent enemy foil to Melinoe. Melinoe who is neat and proper compared to crass and messy Eris. Melinoe who is hellbent on restoring an Order she's got no familiarity with. Eris, who lived it and opposes it. Melinoe who's a slave to her task and whose future post-task is a big Question Mark - she's never considered it, never questions it. Eris who also lives in the present but specifically to have freedom and hedonistic-ally strife causing as possible. Melinoe who has an insane level of rizz and is absolutely adored by all around her - but is unaware of the effect she has on others but somehow is fixated on Eris herself. Eris, who is loathed by all and actively is aware of the effect she has on people at all times and intentionally cultivates a negative response from them - with the exception of Melinoe, where her troublemaking serves a dual purpose of exasperating her but also luring her in. Melinoe and Eris both are estranged from their birth families - Melinoe due to circumstances leading to nurture, Eris due to her nature. Melinoe, who Chronos describes as not fitting anywhere despite her clawing for a place in said world, Eris who had no place to begin with, and continues to dig herself out of each subsequent one. I could go on.

It's such a great foil dynamic for a boss. I love Eris.

[flomelias]

the boys ; nsfw alphabet!

requested by anon! afab, feminine reader. includes the deep. warning for nsfw. fandom masterlist found here. 🖍️ . . . author notes: sorry this took so long to roll out! my mental health’s been so up & down <\3 but i think i’m back on track!

the deep

— a = aftercare — doesn’t know the world aftercare. he does know generally to hold you for a few minutes afterwards. but i’ll be honest his street name with women is probably “get off and go”… the ridiculous way he fucks and ducks would be funny if it wasn’t so annoying. just coax him ( or demand of him ) to stay. you’ll have to train him a little like a pavlov dog but he’ll get there.

— b = body part — not sure about your favorite body part of his but his favorite part of you is likely your tits. i think kevin’s a total boob guy, they’re just so aesthetically pleasing to him. doesn’t matter if they’re big enough for him to rest his head on or small enough to fit fully in his palm; he loves tits.. first thing he does when a girl undresses is sucks on her nipples. he’s actually really good at palming, kissing, sucking, and occasionally nipping at your breasts.

— c = cum — a tinge salty. usually a warm off-white color. thick, also. the deep’s favorite place to cum is of course on your tits, but he also enjoys seeing your thighs all sticky and shaky too.

— d = dirty secret — is not an anal virgin! i just know he’s taken it up the ass at least once, though he refuses to say whether it was from pegging or from a man. one day you bring pegging into the picture and moskowitz’s a little too casual about letting you slide that strap of yours into his eager hole. it’s a lot less tight than you imagined, too.. that’s when you realize he’s not new to the concept.

— e = experience — he’s fairly experienced especially in the realm of vanilla sex. he’s not new to toys or to taking it up the ass but he doesn’t exactly say that he’s experienced with those things.. so you’re introducing them and thinking he’s never done it before and then you’re like “wow he’s taking this really well… wait.” i feel like he goes on freaky side quests so he’s got knowledge on some more taboo things but he’s slightly ashamed of it in a way? he’s ashamed of getting off to things like being pegged or being in positions where his partner’s in power. fragile masculinity and such.

— f = favorite position — he would probably tell his friends something stupid like “whichever one where she’s bent over and i’m fucking her from behind”. but secretly? kevin’s favorite positions involve you standing up or sitting in a chair and him on his knees or somehow lower than you. when he gets to kiss up your legs or eat you out from under — sometimes you make him ride your boot and ( despite his hesitation each time ) he likes it a lot more than he cares to admit. he likes being put in his place. loves when you ride him like he’s nothing, too. he’s fucking you but you’re still in charge.

— g = goofy — he’s usually pretty goofy, making jokes until you tell him or force him to shut up. on the bright side, things will never be awkward! he’s relaxed enough to let a lot of mistakes slide if you’re inexperienced. he’ll laugh it off, though he might bring it up to tease you later. i think the only time he’s not so goofy is when you’ve got him needy and restless, pleading with you for something. when he’s all desperate, his only focus is behaving for you. no jokes, just pleas and whimpers and those darling eyes of his tearing up as he begs.

— h = hair — shaves when you ask. doesn’t shave unless you ask him to or unless he gets bored and wants to clean himself up.

— i = intimacy — the deep is definitely not the most romantic in the book but he tries during foreplay. he’ll press his forehead to yours and maybe make a corny ocean related love pun. you’ll laugh and he really likes that, your laugh, and he’ll kiss your neck and then.. he’ll see your chest rise and fall and.. fuck, he’s getting hard. and then it’s all out the window — sex, now. please. he’ll be romantic again afterwards if you’ve schooled him on aftercare but — babe, when you look so good and you’re already so close to him? sex, sex, sex.

— j = jack off — sometimes calls you in the middle of the work day just to jerk off. he finds it so hot when you talk him through it from wherever you are.. also, moskowitz has definitely jerked off in the seven meeting room when no one else is around 😭 don’t flash any uv lights around his spot at that fucking table. if you tell him not to masturbate, he’ll try his best not to. but, i do think he is a victim of supe libido ( though not as much as a-train.. ).

— k = kink — being dominated easy. this is a man born to be a sub, forced to be a dom. doesn’t mean he doesn’t love pounding into your cunt every so often and making you scream his name despite yourself. but he is just as, if not more interested in being your little boy toy to use and abuse and all those things. and then tell him he’s a big strong man afterwards, that’s the cherry on top. he just took your strap like a champ — only real, tough men can do that!

— l = location — if you’re down, he’s down, especially when he’s horny. any location will do, though preferably somewhere with a little bit of privacy so he doesn’t have others seeing your body.

— m = motivation — the deep’s not extremely easily motivated but, c’mon. it’s you. if he’s in love with you he’s going to be aroused by whatever you happen to do in relation to him. you compliment his work? hard. you laugh at one of his stupid jokes? hard. you slap him? ouch.. hard. and probably needy too.

— n = no — don’t touch his gills ever or he will freak out. it honestly takes a bit of time for him to even be comfortable taking off his shirt around you. i think this is something you could try to work on but even as he grows more confident in himself and his body, kevin doesn’t want you touching his gills. you can kiss around them, however, once he’s close with you.

— o = oral — oral king. loves to eat, loves to be sucked. absolute adores oral, it’s easy and it’s fun and it makes his toes curl, giving or receiving. genuinely, i think he’d be a big fan of it.

— p = pace — depends on his mood, your mood, and what you’re both wanting in that moment. he’s usually not very sloppy until the very end unless he’s been edged for a while. every now and then he wants it fast and reckless but most of the time he’s fine with going at a medium sort of speed.

— q = quickie — if it’s oral then yes to quickies! but a strong no outside of that. moskowitz doesn’t want to fuck you for ten minutes, no, he wants it to stretch. to be fair, head is like perfect for quickies anyways. especially if you’re giving and he’s been pent up that day.

— r = risk — generally, if you’re down, he’s down. just talk to him about it while you’re kissing on each other, don’t spring it on him. you might have to walk him through the concepts you’re bringing up, maybe have a video handy.

— s = stamina — supe stamina is nothing to play with. he stops when you tell him to but if you don’t speak up he knows to stop when you’re all fucked out and babbling or out of breath. especially if he’s sub, he stops when he thinks you can’t take anymore because he’s a good boy who can take care of you. the deep doesn’t want to fuck you to death, silly.

— t = toys — not inexperienced with them but not a full fledged toy master. he’s open to using whatever you have if it looks interesting or sounds promising.

— u = unfair — every time he tries to play unfair, you quickly put him in his place and he loves that. just a little bit of a brat sometimes. he’ll tell you to beg for his dick and all you have to do is pull his hair a little — he’s rolling his eyes all playful and pretending like he’s not harder from that. “okay, okay, miss impatient…” as kevin lines himself at your entrance.

— v = volume — not loud, not quiet. kind of just average or normal? he doesn’t like it when you’re quiet though, makes him feel like he’s fucking a dead fish. react, respond, insult him, anything. just don’t be quiet, don’t seem bored.

— w = wild card — i think you guys should try using vibrators on each other throughout the day. i think he’d enjoy that. you both come home all shaky and aching and desperate for each other, barely making it to the bedroom because you’re undressing each other in the hall. 🫶

— x = x-ray — again, not good at describing penises. i don’t think his is the prettiest but it’s definitely big. homelander’s is the prettiest in my mind.

— y = yearning — medium to high range supe libido. jokes about fucking you all the time but he’s really not as sex obsessed as you’d think.

— z = zzz — he likes sleeping with you after sex a lot.. it’s something that surprises even him, as usually he does the good ol’ fuck and duck. he loves when you cuddle into him or when he’s able to cuddle into you, holding onto you by the waist and finally relaxing. he’s so content with the sound of your breathing or snoring. like constant ocean waves.. so comforting. you’re like home to him, in moments like these.

[venusgirltarot]

What Would An Album About You Sound Like?

Disclaimer: This reading is for entertainment purposes only. Tarot readings are about possibilities based on your current energy. Energy is forever changing and nothing is set in stone. Always remember, you have your own free will to make whatever decision you feel is best.

Close your eyes, take a deep breath, envision the person you are thinking of and then choose the pile(s) you feel most drawn to.

Pile One

Ahhh okay this is so cute. Im going to try to explain this as best as I can, Pile 1. So this seems like a concept album. The idea of the album (not the sound but idea ya know) reminds me of “Melodrama” by Lorde. I’ll leave a quote here for a better description but it’s like a concept album about a single night

“Melodrama is described as a loose concept album that explores the theme of solitude, in the framework of a single house party with the events and moods that entail it”

The album about you is similar in the sense that it’s a “loose concept album” but it’s about the writer seeing you. It’s like you’re at this party that the songwriter is also at and they’re obsessed from the moment they lay eyes on you. You’re like this beautiful unobtainable being to them and they want to get to know you so bad but they just can’t seem to talk to you. This could also progress to a one night stand that never progresses to more because of a lack of communication to this album is going through the writer meeting you and watching you throughout the night and then goes into their regrets and what they wish they would have said to you the next day, if that makes sense.

They see you at a party and think you’re so beautiful but can’t seem to find the words to tell you that. I keep hearing “I like the way my bedsheets look on your body” from “hello!” By role model. (I believe that’s the right song but lmk if it’s wrong so I can fix it!) and I keep being reminded of this musician on TikTok “Chappell Roan” and their song “Red Wine Supernova” I think that’s similar to what this album would sound like and it also fits the aesthetic. I highly recommend you listen to this song because it fits your album so perfectly. I tried to find a lyric that resonates the best to include but they all work so well that I couldn’t choose.

Despite this entire album being about only you and just one night leading into the next morning, it’s still so diverse (I hope that makes sense) like you’d think there’s only so many songs you could write about a 12ish hour time frame and one person but this writer has endless things to say about you and the night you met them. I could see one song having a feature and it’s later in the album somewhere between tracks 7-12 or so. The aesthetic of the album is very neon lights, the dance floor on prom night after everything has died down and people are starting to go home, slow, melodramatic and just really pretty. Again, I highly recommend you check out “Red Wine Supernova” because it fits so well.

Track list:

1. Pretty

2. Blooming

3. missing you

4. Shinning Eyes

5. Dying Slow

6. Party Streamers

7. Old Fashioned (Feat. Another Artist)

8. Starlight

9. Nova’s Surprise

10. Sunset

11. morning after

12. You

Pile Two

Pile two, your album sounds like one written by Hozier, Noah Kahan or The Lumineers. It reminds me a lot of “Angela” by The Lumineers. Specifically the lyric “Angela, spent your whole life running away” and “vacancy, hotel room, lost in me, lost in you” it also reminds me of Ethel Cain in the sense that it’s a concept album about running away and starting a new life (but not as dark as ethel’s and with a much better outcome than she got. I heard “success story” it’s about leaving behind a difficult past and moving forward. There’s hope for the future in these songs, remembrance of the past and healing trauma. It’s a beautiful album with a good balance of different emotions. I could see this album coming with a short film or a series of music videos that piece together to tell a store. Similar to “III” by the Lumineers.

I keep hearing a few snippets from the deluxe version of “Stick Season” (that will be out June 9th 👀) like “Medicate meditate swear your soul to Jesus / Throw a punch fall in love give yourself a reason” or “we ain’t angry at you love, you’re the greatest thing we’ve lost” it’s such a beautiful album with so much soul and emotion.

I could see this album getting an acoustic live version that artists do sometimes like “Album, live from Wherever” you know? This album has very unique and catchy lyrics that stick with people, the type of lyrics people take and sell on things in their Etsy shop or use as a quote in their yearbook or put in their instagram bio. It almost feels like poetry. I also heard “escapism” this is the type of music that paints a picture and takes you somewhere else. This album will kind of chronologically tell a story about you moving forward and healing from trauma and finding a peaceful ending. Ending with a song like “Angelia”

Track list

1. movement

2. Adelaide’s Interlude

3. mother

4. farmhouse

5. leave me behind

6. baby blue

7. mustang

8. you’re gonna go far

9. more than this

10. peace

11. at your own pace

12. growing pains

13. at last

Pile Three

I feel like this album has a soft rock sort of sound? Like hozier with a rockier edge if that makes sense? It reminds me of the way hozier sings about love. He sings about a very deep and impactful love and his writing his like poetry and I think that’s what an album about you would sound like. I think this album could be about the writer/musician fighting feelings for you because they’re focused on career or are just concerned about the outcome of the relationship. They might have a fear of falling or something.

However, the last card I pulled was the 10 of cups so the outcome is very good. I feel like this album is coming from a reflective place like this is after yourself and your spouse have settled down and had kids or pets or whatever you would like and your partner is looking back at your relationship from the very beginning up until now and writing about it.

I keep hearing “I’m in love with an emo girl” I don’t think this is what the album will sound like but maybe that’s your aesthetic/vibe? This might just be conformation for you. I also keep hearing that Shania Twain song “you’re still the one” this is the kind of album that fans would dissect like narrow down the time you met your person and talk about every lyric and how that lyric relates to you and your relationship etc. this album talks about how devoted and in love with you your person is but also talks about the (I heard “trials and tribulations”) it took for you two to get there so it may include religious reference. Like religion by Lana Del Rey or Don’t Blame Me by Taylor Swift where there’s this slight aspect of religion/devotion to your partner.

You hear a lot about how you have to actively choose your partner everyday to make a long term relationship work and this album would definitely delve into that a little. It could also be produced by you and your partner’s mutual friends or people who have been there since the beginning or very early in in your relationship. I think this would be a longer album and there’s definitely 18+ songs on there 👀

Track list

1. October

2. Cosmic

3. Full Moon

4. Bourbon Street

5. She’s All Over Me

6. Starla

7. The Empress

8. Diamond Eyes

9. Find More of Me

10. Dreamscape

11. Escapades

12. Midnight

13. You’re All I Need

14. Mirror

15. Apartment 32

16. Deep End

17. Eternity

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

So if Birthday Boy were to be in some sort of Batman media (comic, movie, show, any variety of batmedia) I think it would be unavoidable that fans would draw parallels from the Joker as a character.

Are there any particular Jokers that you think Birthday Boy would associate with, or maybe beef with? Would he see a sillier Joker like Hamill's or Nicholson's as competition or comrades?

On the other hand, are there any specific Batmans or Robins whose rogue gallery he would be a part of?

okay, so here are things I know for sure about Birthday Boy.

1.) he's a wiener. absolute non-combatant; if you take away all of his henchpersons and exploding party favors and spike-covered pinata bat, he's useless at hand to hand combat. he will just give up and hit the floor to plead for his life.

2.) related to the above, Birthday Boy knows what his limits are and which rogues wildly outclass him. that very much includes the Joker, who Birthday Boy would work very hard to avoid as much as possible. (the sole exception is Cesar Romero's Joker from Batman '66, who;s honestly a pretty chill guy and seems to get along pretty well with his fellow costumed criminals.)

3.) having said that, Birthday Boy does privately feel that the Joker is a bit of a hack. like, what's his deal? he's obsessed with Batman on an extremely personal level? he's hung up on proving some kind of worldview about how everyone is *this* close to being exactly like him? barf, gag. pretentious. get a real motivation, like being as annoying as possible by ruining other people's parties.

4.) and having said all of THAT, if they were ever in the same room Birthday Boy would grovel like a fucking worm to try to stay alive. he's not a proud man, and also he knows he's annoying enough that the Joker will probably just kill him on sight. he goes to LENGTHS to try to avoid any accidental run-ins.

once again this does NOT apply to Cesar Romero's Joker, which brings me to my answer to the second party of this delightful question: I think Birthday Boy would be a DELIGHTFUL fit for the Batman '66 universe. his gimmick would fit right into the delightfully low rent aesthetic!

he'd also be a shoo-in for Tim's '93 solo series, or even '98 Young Justice. they both catch a lot of stray weirdo dork villains, like my darling little freakboy Ulysses Armstrong, and I think YJ could genuinely just bully Birthday Boy so hard he would burst into flames.

[chaeneuu]

moodboard tuto pls? like how to do the layouts

     𐙚⠀͡  moodboard layout tutorial  ੭ ꒱

  hii i'm not sure if you mean the layout of the actual moodboard or the

 text in it that goes in between the images so i'll do a short tutorial of both ^^

      let me know if you have any questions afer reading this :')

          moodboard tutorial

    when i make my moodboards, i follow a simple process :

• look on pinterest for an icon you like and want to use in the moodboard

• after you find the icon you want to use, make note of the most significant colors in the image and what aesthetic / theme you want the moodboard to convey

• then, go back to pinterest and search for those colors and themes - i would do this by inputting [ color ] [ color ] [ adjective ] [ aesthetic ] into the search bar and scrolling through the results to find images you like and you think will fit the moodboard.

ex. white pink soft aesthetic or soft white pink aesthetic ( you can add as many colors as you'd like, it just might be a little harder to find good results )

• after i find the images i like, i try to arrange the moodboard on my laptop's desktop but you can use whatever you want to experiment with the arrangement of the images.

• when i'm satisfied with the arrangement i've made, i upload the images to tumblr and copy the same arrangement.

• you can choose to end here and upload / post the moodboard as it is, or you can add dividers or locs ( symbol layouts ) which will be the tutorial below !

            locs tutorial

making locs is pretty simple, all you need to do is find symbols to match the aesthetic you're aiming for with your moodboard and then arrange them in an eye-catching and reasonable way. you should also try to make it look balanced, however some locs look great even if it's a little unbalanced.

i usually search pretty symbols or cute symbols to find symbols to use and here's a short version of my process for making my locs :')

let's say i want to make a layout that gives off cutesy vibes, here are a few symbols i think would look cute if arranged together :

  ♡ﾟ    𐔌    ⏖    𐦯    𓏸    𓄹 𓄼

after i find the symbols i want to use, i experiment with different arrangements. here's the one i made and felt satisfied with :

   𓄹     ♡ﾟ     ⏖𓏸     𓄼     ⌢

      ( this is how it would be spaced out in a moodboard )

as you can see, i got rid of some of the symbols i originally chose and added a new one. i also combined two of the symbols but that's not required, i just thought i'd give it a try lol :')

you can also make a set of locs for one moodboard if you want there to be more of a variety but that's completely up to you ^_^

that's it for this tutorial, lmk if you have any questions and tysm for sending this ask !

 

𐙚⠀͡  i hope this tutorial helped everyone who needed it !  ੭ ꒱