#it happens more often than not and its just. so stressful waking up from them.

[atvbs]

囧rz

[sinsirellaxx]

toxic boys x ethreal!stunning!reader

Like shes SO pretty that everyone has a crush on her,attention is always on her,shes just beautiful and the face of Hogwarts

Slytherin Boys – Their partner is the face of Hogwarts

Warning: Toxic boys! Not proofread as always.

Mattheo …

… is honestly torn between loving and hating it. He was obsessed in love with your beauty, and he basked in the envious glares thrown his way for being your boyfriend, but he also absolutely hated the idea that other people probably got off on you.

… wants to hide you from the world sometimes – when he is feeling low or whenever something triggers his jealousy, which obviously happens way too often to be considered healthy anymore.

… would try to make you wear modest clothing and constantly told you that you did not need any make-up or whatever else you used to enhance your beauty.

… would be more aggressive with you admirers behind your back – it got worse the deeper he felt for you.

… can be mean to you, whenever you don’t agree with him and stubbornly insist to dress up.

“Babe, you are beautiful the way you are. There is no need for all of that – or are you so desperate for attention?”

Theodore …

… is cocky because he finally found his equal. He knew that all the girls were in love with him and that even some boys’ eye lingered on him for longer than necessary, so it was normal for him to have the prettiest partner – right? Right. At least until you outshone even him.

… would clench his jaw whenever the two of you were stopped by some pathetic male asking you for something – anything. A scoff leaving his lips whenever you agreed to help with whatever problem – cause, how dare you? You were just too sweet for your own good.

… screamed internally, whenever you cancelled your plans with him, because a fourth year desperately needed tutoring. His mood ruined for the day. His anger would find its peak when he would see you in Hogsmeade with that student.

… would be annoyed by you at some point. The less people saw him the more he actually started to dislike you.

“They are just using you because you are so gullible. It’s annoying really.”

Lorenzo …

… immediately hates the attention – he should be the only one to look at you with those eyes and the thought of half of the school staring at you lovestruck made his skin crawl with badly contained anger.

… would go out of his way to draw the people’s attention to himself instead. If that didn’t work, he’d just start claiming you publicly: kissing you in the corridors whenever no professor was around, leaving hickeys in obvious places and always having an arm wrapped around your waist possessively.

… his patience snaps if one of his boys actually shows interest in you.

“Love, come here … let’s skip that double-date … you wouldn’t even like my friend – he’s an ass.”

Draco …

… wears you on his arm like a rolex Daytona.

… every compliment directed at you fed his own ego.

… bought you designer clothes and expensive jewelry to make you stand out even more – honestly, he would treat his partner like a dress up doll.

… would hate it if you were to pay attention to any of your admirers though. You were his – and you were definitely not allowed to engage in any conversation with those dimwits without him by your side.

“Doll, would you please wear that pretty black dress that I got you last week? We’ll be having dinner with the boys.”

Blaise …

… is stressed. He knows the minds of pervy teenagers, and it unsettles him to know that so many are obsessed with you.

… would wake up extra early to accompany you to breakfast and/or your first class.

… would run through the halls to get to you as quickly as possible if you didn’t have the same classes.

… would probably also threaten someone that made you feel uncomfortable or belittle them in front of a crowd, always watching them rush away with a satisfied smirk on his face.

“Don’t worry, babe. He deserved that.”

Tom …

… doesn’t notice your admirers at first. But when he does … he hates it. Absolutely detests the attention you get.

… would find it annoying and inconvenient.

… would drag you along if someone tried talking to you and just force you away from that person.

… would scare everyone who approaches you – and due to his friends and minions he always knows about everything – even if he wasn’t with you when it happened.

… would definitely murder someone if they took it too far without batting an eye.

“The annoying Gryffindor boy disappeared? How curious.”

[puppyplayhouse]

Stray Kids x puppy best friend!

Warnings: pet play (puppy), Daddy kink, cnc (barely but still), somnophilia, praise, degrading, all around filth :3.

Sweet, eager puppy who is always ready to be groped like the cutest lil stress ball! Someone's always got a firm grip on their chest and more often than not it's combined with a warm mouth lapping diligently at their nipple! ♡

Daddies Chan and Changbin who are always scolding their puppy for being insatiable, telling them they only get a treat if they sit real quiet until Daddy is done with whatever task he's currently working on. :(

Poor Puppy always having either Jisung or Jeongins face shoved between their legs, maybe some talented fingers easily working their way into Puppys dripping hole.

Minho loves teasing their sweet puppy. Lots of light, dreamy touches and seemingly innocent brushes against their skin that make them feel like they're gonna burst!

Oh, and HYUNJIN. He's always taking his cuteness aggression out in them! There are so many bruises on either their thighs or their hips, maybe even their arms from being tugged around all the time. He can never resist the urge to shove them over the nearest flat surface and grab at their tender, soft skin. They sound so pretty when he does!

Felix and Seungmin who love mindlessly rutting against their puppy. They don't have to think about it and can run entirely on instinct! They love getting lost in the intimacy and pleasure, spilling messy kisses across bare skin and groaning between pants.

"Silly dog. Haven't you had enough?" When Puppy thoughtlessly presents their needy cunt to everyone during movie night. Jeongin kept grabbing them every time he walked past and it just happened without them realising!

Daddy Chan knows its not their fault, of course. The Maknaes are always so mean to the poor thing and it can't help itself.

Channie always tells Felix to help you because Felix is the nicest, and he always takes such good care!

But sometimes you're mouthy and Changbin has to be the one to pin you to the floor face down and remind you that they're the ones who keep you full and satisfied and that it's incredibly rude of you to even think about barking at the men who fuck you so good. Thankfully, you can't think much after that.

When you're really bad, maybe even getting bitey, they'll leave you alone with Minho. He's usually so sweet and so sensual, but that's why it's such torture! He'll wind you up and edge you until you're begging him to give you something more, something to really curb your appetite. He always makes sure to treat you after, though, and you know you'll be leaving with his cum dripping down your thigh.

Your favourite thing, of course, is falling asleep on the floor during movie night. You'll be laying peacefully beside Seungmin and you've drifted off before you know it, always waking groggily to the delicious feeling of someone's fingers thrusting deep inside of you and a hand petting your hair softly, unknown voices whispering "shhh puppy. It's okay. Go back to sleep."

You always do fall back to sleep, too. You faintly remember someone biting at your neck, and there's marks to prove it, but you're feeling too satisfied and rested to care!

So many treats!!! Hyunjin is always bringing you sweet treats, and every time Changbin reaches for one, he has to swat his hand away and tell him, "It's for the dog, not for you!"

Cuddle puddles! The most common form being your head in someone's lap, your feet over another's, and someone lying with their head on your tummy.

So so SO many head pats. They love playing with your hair, and Lixxie gives the most to die for scalp massages.

"Good dog!" Whenever you do... well, anything! They'll use any time achievement as an excuse to shower you in praise!

Having 8 protective guards of your own! They want you to be as happy and as carefree as possible and unlike you, their bite is much worse than their bark.

[crestfallenyh]

ateez reaction: s/o asking them to stay/not to go in their sleep.

cw: mainly fluff slash angst for everyone and a tiny bit of suggestive content on wooyoung’s part. non-gendered terms for reader. yunho’s one is a bit longer than i intended it to be. basically a self indulgent piece because i’ve been in my feelings as of late.

07. hongjoong

it was late at night. it was one of those days where the night was so heavy with its silence and lack of light that you couldn’t hear a single noise coming from the streets. not the chatter of the young enjoying the night life, not the sounds of cars passing by, not even the sound of the wind hitting the windows. hongjoong walked down the hallway after running upstairs as silently as he could and finally entered your apartment, half wincing in response to the sharp tingling of his jewelry and the chirp coming from the door that inevitably broke the deep silence the room was in.

he found you sound asleep, curled in a ball on the couch and with a blanket half escaping from your grasp. he couldn’t help but notice the light frown and the heavy eye bags on your face, and the familiar sting of guilt hit him with force. he had promised he would be with you early that night, as he only needed to give the final touches to his newest music but just like many other times, he found himself immersed in his work and by the time he looked at the time, it was already past midnight. he felt bad. the worst part is that you were always so understanding and sweet to him, never taking it to heart although he know how worried you were seeing him visibly stressed and tired. he loved you, truly. for that and many other reasons, but each time he promised he would be with you and failed, he found himself thinking more and more that you would inevitably get tired and leave.

he laid down beside you, holding you close to his chest as gently as he could without waking you up. it was slightly uncomfortable as his back was pressed against the couch in a not so nice position but it wasn’t that bad after all, because you were there. you were finally in his arms and he felt like he could breathe again. he caressed your cheek with his thumb and you snuggled closer in your sleep. he tried to get up to take you to bed with him but you groaned, the frown getting deeper as your arms tightened around his waist.

"stay here a little bit longer, please. i missed you”

hongjoong remained silent, biting his lip and forcing down the small cry his throat so desperately wanted to let out. right then and there he promised to himself he would try harder to be there, for you.

03. seonghwa

if there was one thing seonghwa was grateful about was the opportunity to take his music to every corner of the world and showcase his artistry to millions of people. it had been his dream for so long that now that it was happening, he couldn’t help but tear up at the thought of his younger self who used to watch performances from seniors and daydream about succeeding one day. it was a good life, indeed. but with every good thing comes a sacrifice, and to be honest, it was more difficult with everyday that passed and he wasn’t with you. he had went on tour for almost three months now, and the mere thought of you was enough to leave him with a heavy heart and the crushing sensation of a missing piece.

ever since you formalized your relationship you were used to sleep together everyday, whether it was at his dorm or at your place, you hadn’t gone one day without waking up with his arms around your body and you were nowhere as fine as you'd often say in your texts or video calls in order not to worry him. he was having the same problem, but none of you wanted to make each other worried or make the longing even worse by letting the other know how badly you missed his hugs and he missed the scent of your hair, so the first time he came back, you couldn't help but jump right into his arms and cling onto him despite how tired you were after waiting for his flight to arrive, anxiously pacing on your living room with glossy eyes from the lack of sleep.

his hair was dyed black comparing to the last time you saw him in all his blonde beauty and his body felt different under your embrace, a little slender but more firm, but it was still your seonghwa. the same guy who would hug your hips so tight that you were grasping at his jacket, sitting on the couch, and the same guy who would whisper sweet nothings to your ear while rocking your bodies back and fort to help you sleep. soft, like a wave in the ocean.

"you're here" you mumbled under your breath, not fully awake anymore. it was your way to say just how much you missed him and how much you never wanted to leave his side.

23. yunho

your head was pounding and a silence so heavy had settled in the room after the last couple of hours. you didn’t know where yunho was and it was only you laying in bed. the tears had dried now on your face, but you still felt inconsolable, a different type of dispair running through your veins and making you anxious.

it hadn’t been a good day. it hadn’t been a good day in the slightest and you had just started to realize how messed up everything was. you and yunho had been fighting the whole time he had been at your place, many days of nitpicking and bickering at each other way too seriously for it to be a joke had taken a toll on you and you both had finally snapped. your relationship had gone downhill as of late, where even the smallest of things would make him frown at you and even the smallest of things would make you throw a slightly scathing word at him, making both of you so annoyed so as to forget why you had even gotten into a relationship in the first place.

if somebody were to ask you, you would never be able to pinpoint the exact moment you started to feel him drift away from you or the moment he could tell you just weren’t as happy around him anymore. it wasn’t a lack of love, that was for sure, but the differences in your character started to become more visible and to catch up to you. it was difficult as you couldn’t see him as much anymore and he swore you would be unreachable anytime he tried to get closer again. it all had snowballed and you were now here.

you heard the front door close and you turned around just in time to see yunho reenter the room. that wasn’t usual either. he had gone away to calm down almost an hour ago, and usually he would be the one insisting on talking things out in the moment. you were wary and scared deep inside, wondering if things were broken beyond repair but now that he was back, you felt his presence ease some of your worries. your eyes were so puffy and red from crying and his voice was hoarse from arguing, but still, none of you was willing to give up on the idea of sleeping together. no matter how horrible the fight had been, you both unconsciously knew you'd be better if you knew how the other was doing. even the lingering idea of breaking things up for good could never make you prefer sleeping alone.

that didn’t make things any easier, however. yunho laid down until the clock marked four in the morning, he hadn’t slept much and the lack of touching was almost physically painful. you were so close but he couldn’t reach you. at some point he stood up to the bathroom and by the time he came back he found your hand on his side of the bed and your cheeks wet with tears, but you were still fast asleep.

yunho was worried and he hurried back to bed when he heard your pained cry for him not to leave and the calling of his name. seeing you like that was enough to make him snap out of his angered daze. how could things go this far? how could he not notice how much you wanted to fix everything when it was obvious that even on your sleep you were still longing for him? how could he hurt you when you were the person he loved the most, that he cared about the most? yunho wrapped his arms around your frame and kissed the top of your head. you were still crying softly, slightly awake now that he was holding you so close to his body.

“i’m never leaving, you hear me?,” yunho’s voice brought some comfort to you, firm as it always was, “i’ll stay with you”

15. yeosang

it was a typical evening with your boyfriend and his group at his dorm after helping wooyoung and seonghwa cook some dinner and cleaning up the kitchen.

since the group divided into three different dorms, it was not uncommon for them to find a way to be together at home even after being together the entire day, filming and practicing, and most of the times you were there just hanging out with your partner, so now you were all scattered in the living room, some of them talking and playing games, some of them focused on the drama episode airing on the tv. you on the other hand were laying on the couch with your head on yeosang’s lap and his hand running through your hair after talking his ear out and teaming up with san for a while just to lovingly annoy your boyfriend with your antics. it was like a switch had shifted on you, one moment going on and on about your day and every little thought that crossed your mind and then not even a minute after, as silent as you could get, tired and almost completely falling asleep on him.

truth to be told, yeosang was already flustered and his bright pink cheeks were an indicator of it, same as everytime your displays of affection occurred in front of the boys and it became even worse because when he tried to get up and bring a blanket for you, you hugged his legs and buried your face on his thigh with a half asleep whine, earning everyone's curious gaze.

"baby, it's cold. I'll be right back"

you shook your head, and that’s when he knew you were still not fully conscious because if you were, you would be equally as flustered.

"no, don't leave me"

almost everyone scoffed, some of them going back to their business and some of them standing up to give you some privacy in case you wanted to sleep for real. yeosang gave up with a big sigh and ignoring yunho’s smirk, he lifted up your head only for a moment before sliding a cushion under it and hugging your shoulders from behind.

10. san

it was date night at your place, one of the very few times he had a day off and could spend as many hours as he wanted with you and the comfort of your hugs, and san could not be more excited, or at least he was until you started discussing your plans for the evening an actually acted on them.

you had insisted a lot in watching a horror movie despite his constant efforts to convince you to watch a romantic comedy instead, because despite claming out loud that he wasn't afraid of these type of movies, he knew his own body would betray him. he prided himself on being a tough guy, always in touch with his feelings but also very capable of protecting you and acting strong for you, but he also wasn’t afraid of admitting how little of a fan of horror he was. for the entirety of your relationship you had never been in this kind of situation and he was starting to get nervous, shifting on his seat as the starting credits started to roll in and the unsettling music from the film reached his ears.

little did he knew that after around one hour, you would be the one screaming at jumps cares, and he would be the one laughing at your reactions. he didn't want to be mean, so he wouldn't tease you too much, but even after it ended you were still trembling, eyes wide open and flushed cheeks as you reminisced some of the worst scenes in the movie. because of that, he wasn't at all surprised when in the middle of the night you straddled his lap and asked him to hug you tight and never let go. just in case the ghost from that movie would appear to take your souls, you know.

he laughed, of course. he pinched your cheek with a teasing glint in his eyes but still hugged your body so you could rest with your head in the crook of his neck.

09. mingi

mingi liked everything about you. from the way you talked with such passion about the topics you were interested in to the way you couldn’t hide the selflessness and kindness in your soul, he loved you for who you are. he always claimed that you cannot love someone based on what they do for you without loving them for their actual personality and way of thinking, and he truly loved those aspects of you. he wouldn’t lie, however. he also loved the way you treated him and went out of your way to care for him.

he knew how difficult his choice of career was in terms of social relationships. he didn’t have many friends outside from his childhood and celebrity friends because not everyone understood that, sometimes, he couldn’t be there as much as he would love to. that’s why it had been such a dealbreaker when he found you and realized that not only you were willing to understand and compromise, but you were also willing to be there and show up for him at every instance. he was the luckiest, and these type of thoughts filled his head whenever he saw you, like that day, late at night at the filming set. you had brought snacks for his staff and the other boys and had waited sitting patiently for him, even after the filming got delayed twice and everyone had left except for him and a couple of cameramen.

he was the last to film and he was worried about you, waiting for so long in the cold. hongjoong had brought you a blanket to cover yourself before and all of them had offered you a ride home, but you insisted on staying. as he made his way to you and crouched down to your height, he couldn’t help but notice the purplish undertone on your lips and the slight trembling of your hands even when asleep. mingi held your hands on his and your eyelids fluttered open for a second. you noticed the way his stern gaze wandered over your face and body and a faint smile made its way to your lips.

“you were amazing out there,” voice a little hoarse, and mingi’s thumb started to caress the back of your hand, “are you going back now?”

he shook his head and clutched his hand to your thigh, still worried but a little bit more at ease now that you were talking, “no, we’re done. we’re going to the dorm now, and you’re coming with me”

“good. i’ve missed you a lot, stay with me now”

mingi flashed a soft smile before standing up and taking you home with him.

26. wooyoung

it was a special night for more than one reason. wooyoung was happy to no extent, just like every time he got to spend time with you away from all your other friends and his own group mates.

you had been friends with wooyoung for longer than you could recall. your relationship had had the most ups and downs in all history of relationships because not only had he been super secretive about his real feelings for you, but you were also the most stubborn person ever and refused to accept the possibility of him liking you half as much as you liked him. in your head, it was simply not possible that someone like him would want to be with you, and it was not that you didn’t have a good self esteem, it was just that for you, his job and current lifestyle was far away from yours to truly connect.

that night you had opened up to him after impulsively kissing him on your kitchen, frustrated as you were with his mixed signals and uncertainty. he hadn’t stopped you, equally as eager as you to show you just how badly he had wanted to do exactly that, but it hadn’t stopped at a kiss, not at all. you ended up doing everything you had ever imagined and even more and now you were cuddled under clean bedsheets, thoughts still racing on your mind although your eyes were almost closed. you were using his arm as a pillow and since he had been patting your head for what felt like hours and your body was so tired after the past events you were so sleepy.

"can you please stay today?"

he almost didn't catch your words, still clouded with bliss from knowing you felt the same about him but the moment he did realize, he felt painfully aware of the fact you asked him to stay after sharing such an intimate experience and for a second he wondered what could've possibly happened to you that made you think he would just go. he tried to push away those thoughts in favour of caressing your face and assuring you, wearing his signature teasing smirk with a pinch of playful affection in his eyes that softened his whole expression. you had never seen him like this. your hair was scattered all over your face in an attempt to hide from his intense gaze and you looked incredibly cute to him, especially because you were breathing more slowly and he noticed how badly you were fighting your sleep. at times you were still so shy around him and he loved it, really.

"i would never leave, doll face"

12. jongho

being jongho’s partner wasn’t for the faint of heart. he was known for liking strolling around the streets and being busy, wether he was working or having a date with you so most of the times, your plans consisted of going out to eat and discover new places on your city, all while he was super chatty and sweet with you. as his partner you were always happy that he was the type to include you as much as he could in everything he did. as a homebody though, you were also happy whenever you got to stay at home with him. that night was one of those nights.

you had been cuddling for hours on end while watching movies, snacking on everything you could find and just overall hanging out with your boyfriend after a long day at work, and because you were so tired you fell asleep on his chest. he was surprised but didn’t move right away, just taking in the image of your tranquil face just resting, as pretty as he thought you were. something like that had never happened because the two of you had always been careful around each other since your relationship was fairly new and you hadn't sleep at each other's place just yet. he knew he wanted to, especially now after seeing you so adorable in his arms with your warm body so close to his, but he just couldn't ignore the sting on his chest at the thought of maybe making you uncomfortable if he just let it slide and fell asleep too. he knew a lot about you already, and trusted you enough to know what type of reaction you would have, but just in case, he didn’t want to overstep any boundary.

he was about to wake you up so he could get up and let you rest on your own bed, but you tightened your arms around his waist and his face flushed red when he caught your sleepy eyes looking back at him. soft eyelashes brushing against soft cheeks with every slow blink and jongho’s heartbeat could be heard by anyone a mile around. he had been so busy looking at your face and the way you body just seemed to fit perfectly against his that he didn’t noticed when you woke up.

"maybe stay tonight?"

he swore his heart melted.

[nanaskzz]

DAWN ─── Felix has always shown himself to be the most perfect boyfriend, and he proves himself even more so by comforting you in an existential crisis during the night.

TWO o'clock in the morning and the beautiful view of Seoul city at this time is definitely rewarding to watch. The lights bring an inexplicable nostalgia and, at times, some kind of comfort. You wanted that comfort now. Feeling embraced by the simple and banal beauty of life. You've always been the type of person to enjoy moments, but ~right now~ you wanted to disappear.

Your leg swings frantically up and down as you try to lean back in the chair on your living room balcony. It's no use. ~Why is there no point?~, You think. Beautiful views have always made you feel at home, so why doesn't it work now? Maybe it was her worries speaking louder than her feelings. But then you remembered him. You needed ~it~, not just a simple view that continues to shine even if ~its~ shine fades.

Felix was extremely understanding, always prioritizing your feelings, often above his own concerns. You were everything to him, he needed you. And that meant that when you weren't okay, he wasn't okay either. He felt like he needed to take your pain away, pass it on to him, and protect you from all the evil the world pressed upon you. You don't know exactly how it happened, your fears externalized as anxiety. It was as if the small stresses throughout the week triggered a major crisis.

You weren't exactly worried about the root of the problem, but rather the need to feel his arms surround you and sweet words come out of his mouth, wishing for your good regardless of the reason for your evil. He was in the next room, sleeping, oblivious to all his pain. You didn't want to wake him up, he was also going through a busy week due to his comeback with the boys.

You shrank into your seat, wanting the tightness in your chest to stop and your breathing to stop betraying you, failing over and over again. Tears fell uncontrollably down his face and without realizing it, oppressive thoughts took over his subconscious. ~It's your fault, try harder. Weak, get up~. It hurt. It hurt to know that she couldn't count on herself because she would fall apart instantly.

You listened, but ignored the footsteps that silently approached you. Warm, soft hands carefully run down your back, up to your shoulders, caressing them so subtly. Your hair instantly stood on end, you couldn't explain if it was due to relief or more nervousness. Lightly Felix's fingers traced under your chin, where he lifted your face, making you look directly into his eyes - which had such a worried gleam.

No words needed to be said, he just engulfed you in such a comforting hug. That was all you needed to break down once and for all. Loud sobs left your lips, which you struggled to hold back. He stroked your hair, whispering words of comfort into your ear, just as you wished.

─── It's going to be okay, baby. Shh!... I'm here with you.

He speaks softly. You deeply and slowly inhale the scent of the shampoo from his freshly washed hair, making you feel safe and comfortable in your arms. He had this dominance over you, your muscles instantly relaxed just by smelling him and hearing the sweet and, at the same time, deep tone of his voice. You slowly began to calm down, breathing more normally, but you still felt your eyes burning.

His thumbs wiped away your tears as he lightly pulled you away, only to look into your eyes again. He takes the elastic from his own hair to tie his own, which was a little messy from the previous agitation. Felix brushes away the small strands that still rest stubbornly in his eyes. Your eyes closed to appreciate even more the affection that he, without any request, kindly distributed over you.

─── You're going to be okay now, I'm here.

─── ... I'm sorry for keeping you up, I know you're busy this week.

You feel embarrassed, sniffling and looking down at your hands. He holds your hands when he sees you scratch your palm with your nails in a sign of nervousness.

─── I do not care about it. You are more important, my love.

You stare at him, still feeling worried and guilty. He sighs, his heart hurts just seeing your red eyes and slowly breaks when he sees the pain that settles in them. He hugs you again.

─── I would stay by your side until dawn if it meant you needed me until then.

With him by your side, you would be fine.

ⵌ series masterlist

[afusionoffandoms]

The symbol most associated with fibromyalgia is the butterfly, as well as the purple ribbon, since a butterfly despite being almost weightless can cause pain if it landed on a person with fibromyalgia.

Fibromyalgia (fibro) is a chronic and highly stigmatised condition that presents as pain throughout the body - often inconsistent both in strength and location as well as resistant to pain medication - along with a slew of other symptoms - mainly intense fatigue and cognitive dysfunction, in addition to headaches, abdominal pains and cramps, depression, insomnia and general hypersensitivity both to touch as well as the other senses.

These pains can be a draining inconvenience, or so crippling it robs the person of the ability to walk or function.

Due to lack of research, it's believed that anywhere between 2-6% of the population suffers from it.

Many people suffering from fibro will say they often wake up more tired and in more pain than they were in when they went to bed. Experts often describe it as the brain losing its ability filter out pains the human body constantly experiences throughout the day.

One thing known for certain is that it's triggered by stress. It can be something as simple as a bad divorce, or a surgery, or a bout of illness, to trauma (either microtrauma over time or one definitive event). Fibro patients will say it's as if their brain finally had enough and started striking. Unfortunately there's no going back once that happens, as there is no cure, and fibro is likely to progress and worsen over time.

It's an illness that can't be proven through samples or x-rays, but rather it's diagnosed when no other cause can be found, and all other treatments have proven unhelpful.

We have records dating all the way to ancient Greece about people whose symptoms today are assumed by experts to be caused by fibro, though it wasn't until the 1900s that the illness got its own name and field of study. That's about all it's gotten, however.

Unfortunately most people with the diagnosis are AFAB, which means the illness is subject to sexism and is often ignored in the medical field, resulting in little research and funding, little knowledge, and a lot of challenges for people suffering from it. Recent numbers suggest that the gender disproportion is far smaller than presumed, however, likely due to other factors such as social stigma keeping men from seeking help.

Interestingly there looks to be a large overlap between fibro symptoms and long covid, which has in recent years caught the interest of researchers, so it's likely that the world will understand the illness more in the future, which will hopefully help people with fibro sometime down the line.

If nothing else, it might finally be recognised as the life changing illness it is, for currently there are still doctors who claim it's not real, and refuse to diagnose and treat it, instead claiming people with fibro are just lazy and overly sensitive.

It's because of these things that global awareness days are so important.

Increasing awareness about this barely understood and largely unknown disease, makes life easier for those who suffer from fibromyalgia both directly through general knowledge and understanding from people around them, to a larger scale where funding and research is vital to perhaps one day find a medication or cure. Or at least find an indisputable way to diagnose it.

Please consider sharing this in order to help with just that. 💜 May your day be as painless as possible.

[narzissenkreuz-ordo]

i guess i need some. advice? encouragement? about some stuff thats been happening recently so suicide/violence cw under the cut

i won't go into detail but i had. a very huge emotional/physical/mental breakdown today. where i was just. basically screaming and howling about how suicidal ive been lately. I haven't said anything out loud/via text on the internet abt it because i know saying i want to kms so often is bad for my own well being and ultimately makes other uncomfortable as well

so yeah i've just been. holding all that in. i knew the thoughts were coming in and out the past few months but was just shrugging it off as just being stressed abt the nightmare year i had. but i really was just. lying to myself and others because i didnt want to worry anyone/didn't want to admit how horrible i was doing after a couple years of good progress. but as it stands things are heading into a really bad direction for me rn. its not normal to go to sleep suicidal and immediately be suicidal upon waking up.

I don't really know what i can really do harm reduction wise. i'm unable to have regular visits with a psychiatrist/therapist bc of availability issues + i tend to just. lie. because its easier to say im fine than it is to advocate for myself and get actual help. and even then medication will not save me and coping skills can only go so far if im so deep in it im unable to take care of myself/feed myself/clean myself/eat/etc so none of it is effective enough in the moment. i know it CAN be effective and some of the skills ive learned can help during situational issues but this is really deep rooted improperly treated mental illness and i need a stronger foundation to be able to use any of the skills

i use a means of self isolation to punish myself, because i'm so upset with myself for not being able to pick myself up on my own. people can say im not a burden over and over but theres always gonna be a catch in the end. i freak out because what if this is one of my last meltdowns before they decide enoughs enough and i just get abandoned. again.

I feel like maybe being so Online is making things worse?? but i don't know??? my concentration is completely gone even when trying to use dnd/closing discord completely and im just constantly refreshing social media every 10 seconds and just stew in the bad feelings.

I don't know if just. leaving the internet cold turkey for a bit would do more harm than good.....i dont want to be alone and caught up in my thoughts. but i have a hard time doing things in 'moderation' and don't know how to even begin to roll back my internet/screen time usage

fandom is fun and great. but i dont think i should be using video games as pure escapism or playing them 24/7. im already getting bored and unenthusiastic about the things i like because its ALL i do.... I want to have at least SOME time away from screens. i hate having the impulse the check social media or refresh even 30 seconds (im even doing it NOW) but i just dont know where to begin in cultivating non-screentime hobbies and have the ability to focus on things more long term without having than doing 1000 things all at once to keep myself busy. i play video games muted most of the time, have a yt video playing, sometimes i'll stop mid video game and pull out my ipad while still having the games open, and im always on discord

there's books i still want to read, i eventually want to pick up sewing again. im considering getting a craft set for making those beaded bracelets (my brother gets them from concerts all the time and thinks it would be fun to make them too) but that all requires money

and i just. idk where im going with this rn but. any advice or suggestions or just. words of encouragement would be. really nice rn

[serickswrites]

could you add me to the tag list for Eyes Like Fire? also, how to you organize all of your WIPs and tag lists? i can barely keep my few WIPs untangled in my head

- @eyehartart

Hello, friend! I absolutely can add you!

Ok, so the tag list is the easy part because I only tag people who reblog, comment, or reply to a post (the likes are just beyond my brain at this time), and of course if people message or send an ask for me to add them. As for how I organize all my WIP, it's a really shitty system, but I have a notebook that I put all the stories I want to continue in. I put one per page and I put the general plot (like how many parts, what happens in each part) and then when I'm ready to write it, I put it on a word doc (or sometimes they sit in my drafts on tumblr depending on my mood). My notebook is a bit of a monster right now because I have filled it, so I have loose pieces of paper, post its, and notebook paper jammed in it because I refuse to get a new notebook to fill until I finish writing all the pieces in it. I used to have multiple notebooks at a time, but that was really stressful. I highlight a story once it's completely written and I put paperclips on the top of the pages that still need to be written.

I also keep notes on my phone because if the idea strikes and I don't have my notebook with me I have to write it down somewhere. It's really not a good system, but it works for my brain. I continue pieces on request, or if I see that it's getting good traction and I wouldn't mind continuing it. More often than not though, when I post a piece, I already know (and have likely plotted) that it has multiple parts--usually because I envision the ending and have to work backwards.

I hope this answered your questions! In the mean time, please enjoy another 'Eyes Like Fire', which, fwiw, is actually not fully plotted. I am lowkey pantsing this one lol

Part 1 Part 2

Warnings: destruction, mayhem, unconsciousness, magic, binding

Villain hadn't moved from where they lay. Hero slowly crept forward. They didn't have any salt, but they couldn't let Villain get up and continue on their rampage. They had to do something.

The demon seemed unconscious, Hero realized as they pulled out their phone. They didn't need salt, but they needed something to bind Villain so they could no longer attack the city.

Hero scrolled until they found a binding spell. They quickly skimmed the spell, reasoning that they would remember it more once they got going.

"I'm not going to let you destroy my home. I'm going to stop you. And send you back to where you came from," Hero muttered as they grabbed the chalk they always kept in their pocket.

The spell was simple, draw a circle of power, draw the binding, say the incantation, and then, boom, demon would be trapped and bound. Hero worked quickly. They couldn't risk the demon waking up. Didn't want to risk. They didn't know why Villain had fainted and they weren't about to question this boon. They just needed to stop the demon.

They stood back to admire their handy work. They had drawn a crude circle around the demon, large enough that they didn't have to get too close--Hero remembered something about their ability to possess different bodies if another body touched their current body. Hero felt bad for whatever person this demon had possessed. Once they bound the demon, they would look up the exorcism spell. One thing at a time.

Hero quickly muttered the spell, they had to do this before the demon woke up. They had to work quickly. Villain groaned as Hero muttered the final word. Villain blinked up at Hero, their eyes glinting with the reflection of fire deep within. Hero had never seen a demon with eyes like fire. "What--" Villain's words suddenly cut off as the magic took its course.

Hero was ready. They had beaten a demon! But as they watched Villain rise and step out of the circle, they realized they had made a mistake. This wasn't a spell that would bind Villain to the circle. This was a spell that bound them to the spell's caster.

"Oh fuck," both Hero and Villain said in unison as they realized what had gone horribly wrong.

Tags: @wankusbonkus@st0rmm@pigeonwhumps @eyehartart

[eveningserenityyy]

luke thoughts, hm. how about his sleeping habits? what position does he usually fall asleep in? i imagine on the farm he was an early bird, but does he stay that way in the rebellion? what does he wear to bed? does he dream, or remember his dreams? i’d love to know what you think :3

eeeeee I actually love this <3 thank you!

I feel that, on occasion, Luke will be one to mumble in his sleep; maybe even twitch his hands up as if he is reacting to something, or do a little face scrunch while dreaming deeply. I can imagine that happening to pre-rotj Luke often enough, at the very least.

I have a few ideas for him when it comes to sleeping positions; firstly I can imagine that, younger him especially (think pre-anh or just anh), would constantly be thrashing around in bed through the night, awake or asleep, therefore it would be constantly changing through the night at that time in his life. On the other hand, I imagine Luke as someone who has always needed to hold or cuddle something/someone to sleep more comfortably no matter which Luke period this is, so if he doesn't have a partner he falls asleep on his side and clutching a soft pillow close to his chest. I also have this image of ESB Luke asleep on his stomach, cheek squished against his pillow as his arms are hooked underneath it. and just imagine that bedhead...his hair would be so messy yet soft and fluffy at once.

I too can't help but think that when it comes to ROTJ Luke, or post etc... that he is a much better sleeper, he tends to fall asleep on his back, on his side with his hand tucked under his cheek, or even in a sitting position at times when he meditates a little too hard. He is also a light sleeper, driven awake by any small sound as he's always so in tune with his surroundings even when fast asleep. Yet despite how he has this calmer mindset to enjoy a peaceful sleep, I can imagine that there are stresses in his life that disrupt him from time to time. He worries about his students, his sister and Han wherever they may be, and occasionally he will feel something deeply wrong in the force that has him waking in a cold sweat. He feels too much, he's been through too much, and it still effects him no matter how great a Jedi he is.

He also was definitely forced to be an early bird on the farm, but I don't think it to be something he ever truly got used to. And unfortunately, I doubt he had much time to sleep in when in the rebellion, for it was more stressful than his simple farm life- although, when he DOES get a chance to sleep in, Leia has to physically pull him from the bed after an hour or two of peaceful slumber. He also gets so grumpy about it too, his tone raspy yet whiney at once when he begs for five more minutes. Spoiler; Leia does not give in to his wishes. (Pssstt, and he's almost just the same even as a Jedi when he has students to teach if he has a partner; he cannot bare to part from them when they are so adorably nuzzled into his side. He would stay in bed with them all day if he could, keeping them close to him as he places sleepy kisses to their hair or cheeks. the only difference is that Jedi Luke understands he cannot ignore his responsibilities as a master to his students).

In regards to what he wears to bed, I have a few ideas: I think his sleepwear is pretty generic when he's in the rebellion, a basic tunic and sweats that are either off white or beige (maybe a sweater in the echo base since its so cold), and ROTJ/post-rotj Luke would be essentially the same, except I DO very much like to imagine him in black, perhaps even with slightly fuzzy pyjama pants on (shirt? no shirt? depends on his mood or temperature too. but if he has a partner, he keeps the shirt off knowing damn well where their eyes like to wander). But ANH Luke? I love to picture that aunt Beru maybe puts together some handmade pyjamas for him, especially as a child. They're so soft, and sometimes fuzzy if she has the material for it. He still thinks of them from time to time, wishing they hadn't burnt to ash in the fire, so perhaps when he has the time and is somewhere with market stalls and the like, he tries to find a similar material or even tries his hand at making his own like she did for him (He may not be very good at it, but he tries.)

In terms of dreams, I imagine he has always been much of a dreamer. When he was a child, he used to have these vivid dreams of a woman, sometimes where she appeared very sad or another where he saw her with flowers in her hair as she slept. He found comfort in these somehow, and they always seemed to happen around his birthday, but that part he didn't really understand and eventually they began to fade with time as he grew older. Only later as a Jedi did he remember them and realize he was seeing his mother. I also like to imagine that he has either the most chill dreams ever (Pretty normal. Maybe where he is following some beautiful path in a meadow with flowers and cutest little bugs buzzing around him, or he is speaking with a friend either old or new, maybe even doing some maintenance on his ship), or the most insane in every sense of the word (buildings and people turn into different shapes or colours around him, or he dreams someone is speaking the most illogical words to him before he's pushed off a cliff and lands in the most random of places. maybe he even dreams his lightsaber turns into a baguette, who knows?).

When he becomes a Jedi, his dreams start to make some sense. They give him signs, warnings, or even just messages to help him through his days. Sometimes he dreams of his father, and he wakes up in serene peace for reasons he can't fully comprehend. He often meditates on these, and takes them seriously when the need arises. But thats not to say his dreams are always helpful as a Jedi by default. He still has those occasional crazy ones, or those random yet calm ones that don't mean much at all. He enjoys dreaming, though. He enjoys allowing sleep to overcome him as his subconscious treats him to an adventure.

-thats not to be said he doesn't get nightmares either, though. Sometimes he wakes up in the night and can feel the force lightning coursing through his veins, and if he has a partner next to him, he will hold them for comfort, maybe talk about his fears if they're awake. He can still remember how he burned his own father to ash, dreaming of that very fire as his voice croaks out from the darkness. Luke even has horrible nightmares about Leia dying tragically, and the very next morning he has to figure out if this was simply a nightmare or something to genuinely worry of.

[seasickzig]

Quirky FND Things I Get

-Tics: On top of having organic tics from Tourette’s, I also have functional tics from FND. The tics themselves don’t feel different, but my FND tics are far more complex than my Tourette’s tics! When I’m in an FND flare my tics get really bad, but when my FND is at baseline, my Tourettes tics are just whistling and face scrunching mostly!

-Sleeping episodes: These only last about a minute and only happen when triggered by extreme emotional stress. My body kind of shuts down and falls over, and my mind gets really slow and simple. When I wake up, I have dissociative amnesia from it.

-Seizures: This is my most common FND symptom to the point most of my diagnoses just say “PNES” instead of FND. I get seizures from a lot of things and sometimes randomly. I get them mostly while I’m sleeping or in the mornings when I wake up, but they also happen when any type of stress occurs to my mind or body. Seizures that are caused by psychological stress come with dissociative amnesia, but during seizures that come from physical stress (pain, heat, high heart rate) I am conscious, and remember what happened.

-Head drops: These don’t happen to me often but when they do it is scary haha. It feels like all the sudden my head is too heavy for my body and it just drops. Sometimes it feels like the heaviness is crawling down my body and the rest of me will fall too, but that hasn’t happened yet.

-Tremor: This is actually a symptom I haven’t had in a long time, since being through trauma therapy, but I used to get a tremor in my right hand. I could stop it if I thought about it real hard, but it only acted up occasionally so it never bothered me too much.

-Restless Leg Syndrome: Omg this one sucks. This one only acts up when my seizures are really bad, it’s kind of one of my warning signs that I’ll have a seizure. It feels like there is this energy in your leg and you have to kick it out and your leg only feels okay when it’s kicking. I only get this one before seizures before bed.

Cataplexy: This is another one that only acts up when my seizures are bad, but loss of muscle tone upon strong emotions. for me its laughter/humor, it makes my legs feel really weak and unable to support me. But again, as long as my seizures are managed, usually this doesn’t bother me.

[skz-kiana]

✧˚ · . RELATIONSHIPS WITH SKZ

BANG CHAN - CHIANA / BANANAZ

the reason for bananaz is because just like her and felix, its very rare to see one without the other!! bang and kiana tg,,, chan was the first friend kiana made at JYP and she was also new to korea (sort of) so he helped her a lot!! hes the reason she decided to continue song writing and eventually he helped her start producing some songs during trainee days too. a lot of the songs she wrote during predebut ended up being fixed a little and turned into songs for other groups. she has a HUGEE folder on chans computer filled with songs, bc shes too lazy to get her own😭(chans been begging her to leave his computer alone or at least let him get her one) no matter how much chan cares for kiana, she still gives him gray hairs when shes teasing him with seungmin.. cross that, when shes being her in general. she never listens to him which often causes her to get hurt or just annoy him😭 but he still loves our girl <3

LEE KNOW - MYUNJI

lee know also helped kiana when she first came to JYP !! not only in speaking korean , but also in dancing . when she first came she was more talented in singing than dancing so he taught her. he has a soft spot for ki and when theyre seen together ,theyre probably bullying seungmin or just being cute . lee know is always trying to steal gamcho tho which results in kiana tackling him.. kiana always teases him about being 1 inch shorter because he used to always be so much taller than her but now shes the taller one (she caught him searching up “how to get taller” once and now she never lets it go) these two are always doing dance challenges and tiktok things together (1/3 of the ones she forces to do tiktoks with her..) but having a soft spot for her doesnt really count for all the time.. its not lee know if hes not teasing a member 💁‍♀️

CHANGBIN - CHANGJI

never let changbin stand next to her.. the third tallest and the shortest member . this man will throw a tantrum if it means he doesnt have to stand next to her 😭 despite her looking like she doesnt work out, she actually goes to the gym with changbin a lot, working up those abs 💪(fans and ‘bout half of skz don’t know tho🫣🫣) . whenever chan is busy , but she has a new song she wants to show she always goes to him to see if its good . its also hard to see these two without eachother . when he first saw her he alr knew they had to be friends from how her personality was !!

HYUNJIN - 2HYUN / JINKI

she needs to let poor hyune rest💔 2/3 line of who she forces to do tiktoks with her. hes coNSTANTLY getting spammed by her, like waking up to 120+ tiktoks when hes only been sleeping for 4 hours yhat day.. kianas first victim of physical touch 💁‍♀️ bro is constantly getting attacked by hand holding , cuddles , etc.. but ignoring the bullying things kiana does to him , she still loves him v v much <3 shes his #1 hype girl, vis versa too. early debut she was over working herself very hard to make more songs for skz since 2/3 of 3racha were working on other stuff and he constantly made sure she was taking a break and eating 💔 myy 2hyun😥

HAN - KIASUNG

OH LAWD. never let these two be together esPECIALLY if theyve had a single sip of a drink thag makes them energetic. these two actually make chan go lose hair from stress😭 theyre alr bad enough but if chan is near them,, they make it their job to make this man stressed istg‼️ but aside from that theyre actually so cute together . suprise suprise this is actually the only member predebut!kiana didnt get along with👁️, it’s not that she hated him she just,, found him hard to deal with per say and thought he hated her based off a misunderstanding (lots of angst happened during that time 🤓)

FELIX - MEOWZ / HYELIX

felix and kiana,, beloved kittys and sunshine’s of skz <3 no one mess with these two or else you will have to deal with hyung line (as bang chan says ) these two actually went way back and didnt even know it until 2020😭them being both 00’ line and living in sydney resulted in them being friends in their childhood, but kiana went to korea first in 2015 meaning she left felix. they found out they were childhood friends because at the dorms chan asked him about his childhood and he was talking about it and kiana was like ,, wait. had a friend that left in 2015?? short brown hair??,, and then boom🤞🏾. instead of ki forcing him to do tiktok challenges and trends , he actually brings it up to her.. meaning she cant prank him with tiktok things <\3 these two are also very affectionate with showing their love, like physical touch!! so its not rare when you seem yhem together theyre cuddling..

SEUNGMIN - SEUNGJI / KIAMIN

the last dreaded victim of being forced to do tiktoks.. seungmin and her honestly act like a fake middle school friendship with the way their constantly bullying chan,, or she’s bullying him with minho. but in all honesty they both love eachother <33 my seungji are so HDJDJDJ🥹 hes actually probably one of the ones she’s closest with as of now . somedays ( a lot ) they just sit in peace and quiet while she lays on him (or vise versa ) and read or watch videos , they honestly don’t even know how long it’s been until a member comes in and yells at them bc they’re about to miss their dinner reservation 😭 her and seungmin often do lives with eachother and try to bake/cook or play games and it’s so cute

JEONGIN - JIANA / KYANG

kianas other victim of her physical touch love language 😔 #saveinnie fr this man is TIREDD. but he lets it slide bc predebut they werent exactly the closest if friends… in some ways theyre exact polar opposites , but thats what makes them close ig🤞🏾 . innie who eats his food in one bite 🤝🏾 ki who takes small bites. this one time she was tryna mimic him by taking a huge bite of her food and lee know took a photo of her and said she looked like a muffin because of her cheeks😭 him kiana and chan have a vlive series together!! (basically the only time you’ll see them all together in not really peace) these two are also funky shoes twins!! stays are constantly making fun of them for their shoes 👁️

[miscellaneoussmp]

*bounces back* hi hello so! mystery dungeon au. You're my notes document apparently. This is just like. So much angsty hours for the Brazilian mystery dungeon pokemon guys. There was supposed to be fluff in here somewhere but nah. The redeeming feature is that this is multiple years before actual plot happens (well bar the glowy Pac thing, that's still the case), and literally everyone involved is in much better places in their lives now.

Firstly. Shinx glow when stressed? Pac is just constantly glowing. People who don't understand shinx think when he stops glowing he's sick, but then they comment and he gets stressed again. No, no the glowing isn't a normal state of things, it's constant muscle tension from anxiety and trauma he's pretending he doesn't have making excess electricity. If on the occassional times he manages to get peaceful enough sleep to stop glowing (or otherwise gets a break) and you wake him up, Mike will just scratch you to death. He gets less glowy (more lower intensity than less often but hey still progress) when hanging out with Fit, so its allowed. (Mike does not know just how bright - to the point he can't hide it even in the sunshine - Pac gets when he's missing, as he's not there to see it).

The following is um kinda angsty even by above but I've been infodumping it a friend but he's busy now so you get it too! Backstory!!! Fit's the MC but brain not there rn also he doesn't have as much backstory what with amnesia and all.

Bagi is incharge of bounties for collecting criminals (she did used to be a cop in canon), but there's a much lower focus on prison and higher focus on rehabilitation and like. Actually helping. Most people still move into the city where her bosses are and better resources, but sometimes people who were arrested stick around. This is kinda how the Brazilian exploration team happened? After they were arrested and had healed Bagi arranged for Pac, Mike, and Cellbit to join the exploration guild, where they ended up teaming up with Felps. Shared language and also history between them.

Prior to getting arrested! Pac was abandoned as a kid in a dungeon, Mike hatched there without parents, Cellbit was kidnapped as a kid and put in an illegal pokemon fighting ring (please remember the characters are all pokemon, but humans do exist and are talked about) which he escaped. The three were part of the same gang causing minor level trouble in a dungeon, living outside of society (well, societies - most settlements are autonomous and have all their own rules and all). However one really harsh winter the rest of the gang ditched them. Mostly they had stuck to their territory so people just avoided them, but when things got hard and they needed to steal food and resources often violently that's when bounties were put on their heads.

Mike was fine. As a sableye he could eat the rocks. Pac the shinx and Cellbit the cubone though? Not so fine.

Things happen, Pac passes out, probably combo of injury and getting sick and hunger. And Cellbit... Cellbit is really *really* hungry. You don't get just quite how hungry - they were already doing survival theft before this and barely not starving, now they're 2 months into a snowstorm.

And well... You know how canon goes. This is so, so much more desperation and starvation than canon was. But Mike comes back from in on Pac getting a bit chewed on. As the only one who has eaten properly in the last 2 months he manages to get Cellbit off him, and just. Leaves Cellbit dazes on the floor as he decides getting arrested is better than Pac dying (while Bagi and her organisation are on the lets actually try help people build lives side of policing, a lot of towns its really, really not like that at all. And being random teens from a gang? Horror stories of bad places kept them in line). He can stop the blood, but its bad injury. Plus, yk, all the other problems rn.

So he ends up dragging Pac and trying to find a town to hand themselves in.

Meanwhile, Felps is a young adventurer, who has taken out the bounty on Pac, Mike, and Cellbit mostly because Guildmaster Foolish is looking at him like a tasty snack for having not done any jobs recently. Foolish gets to be lazy, the others don't. It's rated as a pretty simple job because, like, the rest of the gang were caught and taken to one of the cities, and three teenagers who have been starving for months. Honestly Bagi posted the bounty herself and with her money because she worked out her brother was involved, but that's besides the point.

Felps ends up finding Pac and Mike at the midpoint of the dungeon, and kinda. That's someone covered in blood. So abandons looking for all three to just teleport them out and to whomever does healing here. Not worked that out yet. Mike is... extremely confused to be just. Left with the healer while Felps teleports off again to get Bagi, and even moreso when Bagi is far more worried about her brother left behind and *eating people* than the two criminals right there. She is also very appreciative that Felps took them to the clinic then came to get her. She doesn't want dead suspects, she wants people to actually get fairly judged and get the help they need as opposed to just throwing them in a cell.

Mostly because she knows some of the crimes her brother has done and wants to believe her brother can still have a life but you know. If she believes there's hope for him, she can believe if about a lot of people.

Unfortunately, Cellbit eating people means she does have to increase the pay and danger level of the bounty, meaning Felps is no longer qualified to finish it. Another team take it, Felps gets to take some time off but does visit those two as curious. And like they stole stuff. They stole a lot of stuff. But also. They're kinda interesting. And they're curious about what he does too. Especially the the guild just gives him a room and pays for all his food yes even with weird diets like Mike has to eat gemstones.

Double unfortunately, the people who pick up Cellbit's bounty... Look. He's horrified at probably killing Pac and Mike (he's killed before, but these two kinda liked him, but he ate Pac and drove Mike out into the snow with what was probably a corpse and was absolutely a corpse in his memory), he's also sick, and starving, and sure he's kinda feral and absolutely resorts to violence first, but if you scruffed him you could probably drag him to town like a naughty puppy.

The team... Do not do that.

They don't even ask for him to surrender before beating him to within an inch of his already tenuous life. And then drag him back to town. And dump him on Bagi's office floor. Rather than, yk, taking the now seriously injured, starving, teenage cubone to the clinic (Bagi is also young, but... it's a small town, she trained apprenticeship style most of her teens, and as the explorer's guild is there if there are problems help is right at hand). Bagi is *not* impressed. Their pay gets docked, and she takes her brother to get help. And wrangles a lot of paperwork to be able to keep him in the village rather than sending him to her superiors in the city who... Have much better resources to help.

But.

Bagi wants her brother, and she's not giving him up.

Recovery from those sorts of injuries is a lot, and also gives all three time to come around to the idea of maybe trying something other than crime. And therapy. Therapy takes some convincing. Honestly having stability in their lives is a lot of a start, though takes a lot of getting used to.

Given time and help getting lives together and all that, the three of them end up at the Guild, because, well, they were interested, and Foolish was willing. And all guild members get bed and board whenever needed (though more senior crews tend to get their own houses with time).

As of Fit showing up they've been with the guild for a few years, and mostly settled in now, and people around town have mostly forgotten the somewhat harrowing nature of them arriving. The scars physically and mentally are still there, but newcomers tend to assume its because exploration work is dangerous, not... yk. Horrific backstory.

They also teamed up with Felps, because he kidna did need a team, and language shared, and Mike liked him and Mike and Cellbit at the time they were teaming were on unstable enough footing Cellbit had to say yes. These days its Cellbit and Felps are besties, though, once Cellbit warmed up to the idea of having friends.

The four of them mostly work in item finding. Pac and Mike were like what do you *mean* we can get paid to legally steal shit from dungeons for people? They get a roof, and food, and no problems with cops, and get to steal shit?! This is like. A dream. And all dungeon explorations involve some fighting, just because of how dungeons go, so Cellbit has somewhere to work out stabby tendencies. They do also do rescue missions (people trapped in dungeons) when needed, but do *not* do bounties on criminals. Its a bit... traumatic for 3/4 of them. Honestly likely 4/4 of them as Felps took one and ended up with some guy a year or two younger than him nearly bleeding to death during the teleport to safety. Just. Different trauma flavours.

Also!!! After searching egg groups, Bagi is a Nidorana (Nidoran both genders matches to Cubone, even if Nidorana can't egg group breed)! It's... Okay yes Cubones do evolve at a higher level than Nidoran, but it is notable she is evolved while Cellbit isn't, despite both being a fair bit into adulthood now. Same with Pac being a Shinx (Felps is mostly just still an Abra as he doesn't see any pressing need to evolve and is just vibing. Some people naturally just chill as their pokemon and this is fine. Someday he'll get around to it, but he doesn't *want* to be bigger and stronger and more able to protect himself and his like Cellbit and Pac). Cellbit did not get the same opportunities as Bagi in life, and so it is taking him longer to get there. Also. Bagi did everything she could to force herself to grow early, to prove her maturity so people would give her what she needed to find her twin.

~Factorial

Factorial, you're really out here writing a novel in my inbox /pos!!

God, they hurt my heart physically in every universe!!!!! There's so much wrong with them. They all need a nap and a hug, I think.

[flaylore]

DIRECTORY (2024)

Jan 1, 2024, Red Mecha Pilot Tries Blender To Make Goo Cat!!!!!!

As Flayon’s about to end the stream, he reminds viewers to love themselves… and for a split second, his eyes swirls, telling them to never leave him.

Jan 2, 2024

‘Can you have a late growth spurt in your 18000's???’

Jan 4, 2024

'i cant wash the black strands out of my hair so i guess i didnt dye it WEIRD'

Jan 4, 2024

imo it looks like it's spreading

Jan 6, 2024, The Roons Got Me A Place At Time Square!!! || + Granblue Fantasy

Flayon starts to pan over a fanart of X. The screen glitches as he stares at it, saying nothing. He turns the page and the glitching stops.

MINOR: Jan 8, 2024, 【debut watchalong】o . o

Flayon revisits his debut, occasionally interrupted by glitchy moments, and ends with a brief cameo of the original pilot that got his place taken by him. Please read the summary for more information.

MINOR: Jan 13, 2024, the anxiety of happiness roon

A new Machiroon asset was introduced, which warped into a scene where a figure with swirly eyes appears. Please read the summary for a more detailed information.

MAJOR: Jan 20, 2024, Content Warning|【Machiroon Appreciation+ NEW OUTFIT】AAAAAAAAA

He compares his old outfit and his recent one, lamenting how he has changed from before.

Jan 22, 2024, UNDER NIGHT IN-BIRTH II Sys:Celes] I Need To Play Kuon Immediately #sponsored #ad

Up until this point, Flayon’s height is 171cm.

Jan 30, 2024

‘there are many me and there are many you’

Feb 7, 2024 

‘THE RUBIX CUBE IS BEATING MY ASS’

‘its a mirror cube its so confusing’

‘apparently pre debut i was able to solve stuff like this so effortlessly’

‘idk what happened’

‘i cant pilot things like I used to either’

‘the memory is so hazy’

‘but maybe its better it stays buried’

Feb 11, 2024

‘Sometimes it feels as if the R-TRUS is going to destroy me from the inside’

‘Oh-oh shut down rtrus sometimes maybe- wait can rtrus be shut down?’

‘yes

if i have no energy then he won't work

or if im too stressed then he wont work

sometimes when im inside, he'll move on his own a bit

it hasn't been happening often but every now and then’

Feb 12, 2024

‘I’m losing apart of me every time I pilot…’

Feb 13, 2024,【POKEMON UNITE】Duo's w/ The Regis ALTARE, Hero of Elysium & Your Heart

R-TRUS was found in Xenokuni and Flayon gets visits from scientists.

Feb 17, 2024, Experiencing The Wholesome Door 2 w/@Octavio_en in【The House in Fata Morgana】| Spoiler Alert!

Flayon does not have a reflection in the mirror.

Feb 17, 2024, Experiencing The Wholesome Door 2 w/@Octavio_en in【The House in Fata Morgana】| Spoiler Alert!

Flayon questions if the person inside your reflection is a doppelganger rather than yourself.

MINOR: Feb 20, 2024, x teaser

This video is best watched in its entirety.

March 4, 2024 

‘Do you wanna know how it feels to be crushed by 100+ tons of reinforced X-metal? Just because the R-TRUS is big doesn’t mean your death will be quick You’ll feel your bones pull apart and slip out Your eyes will leave your sockets ever so slowly and if I aim right I can play’

‘around with you like food. not to mention if I choose to absorb your very life force into the R-TRUS It’s the equivalent of taking out your soil and throwing it into a sea of memories. You’ll experience all the pain of everyone who met their death to me Just when you think it’s’

‘over, the cycle will loop and I’ll use your remains as fuel which I will then have concentrated into energy that flows through my spinal cord Basically you’ll be connected to my nervous system and have to share each and every waking moment with me without being able to leave’

March 8, 2024

‘I’m getting rid of old clothes and there is a lot of oversized shirts/jackets/hoodies from school SLIGHTLY 

Nostalgic but I’m bitter about something when I see it too’

‘I have one green jacket that is made out of fleece and was way too big for me

idk how I wore that and why I would wear green’

Mar 12, 2024

‘japan public transportation so cool IM STILL CONFUSED but I can feel myself getting the hang of it just slowly’

(Someone asked if he parked the R-TRUS somewhere.)

‘i have him on standby at the guild

he keeps moving on his own sometimes

just lil twitches’

April 11, 2024, 【CORPSE PARTY】Nah, I'd Live (Does He Know?) | CONTENT WARNING

Flayon loses a lot of blood when he fights with the R-TRUS overdoing it.

April 12, 2024

‘This pilot is going to go back to sleep, that is a warning from my body that I need more rest 

Hard to understand it without the R-TRUS directly telling me what's wrong with me’

April 15th, 2024, THIS CAT IS BANNED IN 44 STATES!!!! (ROON DAY 2)

This a series of clips where he turns on the red eyed toggles.

He reaffirms that he is a genius.

April 15th, 2024, THIS CAT IS BANNED IN 44 STATES!!!! (ROON DAY 2)

Rudely responding with, ‘What’s your problem?’

April 15th, 2024, THIS CAT IS BANNED IN 44 STATES!!!! (ROON DAY 2)

Flayon with red eyes grumbles as he confirms that the outfit he’s wearing is the one he wore when he attended Elysium Academy.

April 15th, 2024, THIS CAT IS BANNED IN 44 STATES!!!! (ROON DAY 2)

Flayon with red eyes confirms that the TEMPUS members do not attend the Elysium Academy.

April 15th, 2024, THIS CAT IS BANNED IN 44 STATES!!!! (ROON DAY 2)

Flayon with red eyes questions if the viewers actually want to be crushed by the R-TRUS.

April 15th, 2024, THIS CAT IS BANNED IN 44 STATES!!!! (ROON DAY 2)

Flayon with red eyes calls viewers filthy.

April 20, 2024,【UNARCHIVED KARAOKE】LET'S PARTY WITH THE BOYS BEFORE MY BIRTHDAY 🎂🎈【OFF COLLAB】

He turns into particles to teleport in and out of the R-TRUS. The sensations feels like it’s ripping his flesh apart, claiming that he’s used to it.

27 April, 2024

This a series of tweets where he turns on the red eyed toggles.

‘Do you know how painful it is to be the only one in Elysium with this kind of fire power? No other *mechs* except MINE? No one worth my time.. Until now. Do your best or you'll just become fuel for /my/ R-TRUS.’

[responding to a tweet congratulating Flayon, and pointing out his red eyes]

‘Hah?’

27 April, 2024

[responding to a tweet saying that they’re excited to fight him in Idol Showdown, 1st tweet, 2nd tweet]

27 April, 2024

[replying to a tweet of an image of X]

‘why did you send a blank image??’

May 1, 2024

[responding to yatogami fuma, who asked flayon to come over]

‘im afraid senpai

 i want to retreat to the insides. 

while i stay outside’

May 5, 2024

Flayon is referencing a monologue of his first post on Twitter/X, with updated information such as his age being 18433 years old and being put on leave after being questioned over his mental stability. Original monologue

My name is Machina X Flayon. I'm 18433 years old. I currently reside in Japan, an area associated with Xenokuni, with the rest of my guildmates and I am not married. I work as the mecha pilot for the TEMPUS GUILD, but was put on leave after the board questioned my mental stability

May 14, 2024

[responding to someone asking if he gets any weird alerts/updates from the R-TRUS when doesn’t get to use it]

‘his mental state mirrors mine’

May 14, 2024

[responding to someone asking if he’s worried he’d forget to pilot the R-TRUS if he doesn’t get to use it]

[an image of flayon with red eyes looking down disapprovingly, shadow looming over his face]

May 16, 2024, I am Hakumen. THE END HAS COME【BLAZBLUE: CENTRALFICTION】

Flayon has various weapons outside of the R-TRUS. He has his shields where he can propel off them, and his energy drinks that act as bombs that its properties similar to lava.

[toonie-selfships]

Smiling cruise

@wulfums, started thinkin after a day of having no or negative thoughts, can finally type something out even if its not what i originally wanted, thought id tag you. so i been ponderin for a short minute and i was like "hm yes, put smiling friends on a cruise ship and write about what theyd get up to". simple ideas like that, youre more than welcome to reblog and add onto this what Lucky64 would be gettin up to

Lucky Charms & Gwimbly would be sharing a room obvi, probably one with a balcony because everything would be paid for by Charms, this is probably after the game ceo finally dies and Charms finally gets their proper earnings of music revenue.

Charms would be up early and awake late, so barely any sleep because they're excited. In the mornings they'd stand on the balcony to watch the sunrise, at night theyre probably on top deck watching the sun set and then probably dancing through the empty decks with their headphones on in the middle of the night to burn left over energy before returning to an already asleep Gwimbly.

Gwimbly would be the sleep late, wake up late type. and probably a bed hog. sometimes hes up earlier but thats a rarity. say this cruise is like 2 weeks or something, 4 out of those 12 days hes awake early.

They'd have a table alone but it'd always be close to Allan & Whatwulfs because they like to hang out and talk whenever they run into eachother. Gwimbly and Allan probably have quiet tension from the whole hose thing, Gwimbly never really forgave him for that. Maybe Charlie, Pim & Glep are also at that table, maybe not, that'd probably depend on you

Lucky carries their headphones and autism bag everywhere they go, especially to actives, they know how crowded and loud things can get sometimes and theyre always prepared. Gwimbly also always double checks to ensure they have their stuff, hes had to be the main escort out of a situation a few times when they first started dating because Charms forgot their stuff. He hates seeing them so distressed when they thought things would be fun and fine.

Charms is usually Gwimblys drink cut off, they dont really like seeing him incredibly drunk unless theyre both shitfaced and Charms cant cut either of them off, but that doesnt happen often, best Charms' gets is tipsy from a few cocktails.

Gwimbly spends alot of time in the arcade, usually at the little duck claw machine (every cruise ive been on had one and i love them) trying to win as many unique ducks for Charms before they can win them themselves, he knows they love random bullshit like that. however gwimbly is in no way a master at it like he claims.

On land days they try to stick with the main group and/or Allan & WW (im just gonna shorten it to ww for whatwulf sometimes or just wulf, lazy like that ✌️). Charms isnt great at directions in new locations and gets stressed easy when they dont know where to go, especially on a time limit.

the two of them collect as many postcards, magnets, keyrings and pins as they can. Lucky has a rather large collection and gwimbly wants to be apart of it.

Gwimbly has definitely fallen into the pools a few times. completely sober.

the two like to spend more time in the 18+ pool areas just to be away from the rowdy kids and parents.

Charms brought their laptop and stuff to still make music since they always love making music on down times. Gwimbly is slowly learning to draw, sure its akin to a 3 year olds but hes doing his best and Charms loves everything he draws no matter what, seeing their face genuinely light up fills him with the confidence to get better.

sometimes gwimbly gets a lil too handsy outside the room but not too much to warrent trouble, he just cant help it, he tries to hold onto charms as much as possible because hes terrified of losing them to homelessness again like the day he lost them after the games fell through.

Gwimbly & Charms participate in costume nights but if its somethin theyre not crazy into then theyre kinda half assing it.

Loathsome mozzy eaters (again all what i think would happen ur welcome to change and add things)

Allan probably sleeps early and wakes up early.

ww falls asleep real early and wakes up at the same time as allan to watch the sunrise together.

unintentionally got the balcony room next to lucky64, wave to eachother often. allan probably goes inside early if he hears them getting all googly at eachother or making out.

whenever theyre not in the dining rooms theyre either at the help yourself restaurant or the fancy pay to be at restaurant because allan wants to treat ww.

allan does all the shoretour talks while whatwulf does most of the friendly first interactions.

both probably get a lil tipsy but never overly drunk unlike everyone else (excluding glep and his wife).

allan got the cruise through work most likely.

whatwulf swims the most

both of them also use the 18+ pools to be away from kids #ChildFree.

allan has never seen Charms tic before and probably thinks theyre drunk or something at first before asking them about it, hes slowly learning to get used to it and pay no mind to any unintentional noises.

wulf understands Charms' tourettes well since theyre better friends than them and allan, sometimes he'll help explain them to others when Charms cant themselves.

they def kiss at sunset on leaving day & going home day.

allan seems like he'd enjoy trivia, much like Lucky Charms, they always swap answers with eachother at the end.

whatwulf HAS to see every performance, theyre too good not to see.

whatwulf probably doesnt get sea sick as easily as everyone else due to being an aquatic-ish critter.

whatwulf is also probably a connoisseur of rubber ducks, very appreciative of them when gifted by allan.

shore days the two try to find their own way around unless its really unfamiliar and they get a shoretour.

allan makes sure they both have any autism things they need, if somehow they forget something Charms always has something similar to offer. fidget toy? sorted. earplugs? cleaned daily with interchangeable silicone or the soft foam ones for someone elses keeping.

ww is ALWAYS prepped and goes all out for costume nights, hes always matching with allan to the T no matter what!

sometimes on quiet nights they'll slow dance on the lido deck when no one else is around.

what everyone else is doin (aka charlie, pim, glep + Marge and maybe mr boss + Jason)

literally NOBODY trusts pims with directions and shit, not after Brazil.

Charlie and pim get shitfaced on the regular.

charpim share a room more in the middle of the boat, they dont have a balcony.

100% from work tickets.

glep and marge have their own room on a different floor, opposite side of the boat, balcony.

all 4 of them share a table with mr boss and jason, sometimes allan and whatwulf. pim gets along with gwimbly and no one really talks to charms that much because only allan and whatwulf really know them. pim tries to talk with lucky sometimes though to get to know them. charlie silently questions their tics but never has the balls to ask.

mr boss puts jason in the kidsclubs even though hes 18, jason fuckin loves the kids clubs because who wouldnt? i fuckin loved kids clubs.

mr boss kinda scares lucky sometimes, his random outbursts of actions scare the crap out of them.

glep and marge sometimes get a table to themselves when they want a quiet moment.

charlie fuckin hates being dragged to every single activity by pim. "pim cant we just slow down and play mini golf or something man? my knees are killing me."

pim is always first awake out of everyone in the group, he swims the most too.

charlie rides the waterslides 50 times in a row whenever he can, though hes gotta take big ass breaks between them for his pace maker.

[eldritchaccident]

Timing: Just after [Reborn] Location: The Jones Home Feat: @mortemoppetere and @eldritchaccident Warnings: Surprisingly None! Summary: Emilio makes it home, Teddy's up waiting.

After the demon was dealt with — and fuck his life, really, that that felt like a normal problem to fucking have these days — Emilio saw no reason to stick around for long. He made his exit a swift one, eager to get home before anyone could ask him anything stupid like ‘are you okay’ or ‘do you need a doctor’ or whatever it was people asked to someone they found tied to a chair in the basement of a man possessed by a fucking demon. Emilio wanted no part in any of it anymore, wanted only to get home and tend to the cuts left on his arms and legs by a demon intent on bleeding him out for a ritual he wasn’t sure he understood. 

He tried to be quiet as he snuck back into the house. He didn’t think Wynne needed to see him bloodied in a too-big shirt stolen off a fucking priest of all things, and he’d rather spare Teddy the stress of it. But he moved with a certain level of clumsiness, knocking down a few knick knacks on a shelf by the door with a quiet curse. The sound, while relatively quiet, attracted a small clatter of toenails against the floor, and he turned to see Perro sitting and staring up at him. “Keep it quiet,” he said lowly. “No need to make it everybody’s business, okay? Nice treat in it for you if —” 

Perro interrupted him with his customary greeting — an excited, shrill bark. Emilio sighed. “Well,” he said flatly, “now you’re not getting a treat.” 

—

Some nights, Teddy ambled through the expanse of the Jones’ household, a feeling in their stomach and an ache in their heart. More often than not it was met with nothing, Emilio came home safe and in one piece, a little dusty or a lot drunk depending on whatever kept him out so late. Each, Teddy would categorize and memorize the happenings for the ever growing keepsake novel about him. 

A bad (but safe) night would have him coming home smelling like a bonfire fed by the cheapest, strongest whiskey someone could find. That usually meant someone got hurt. Or that he was too late to intervene. The beautiful martyr had a tendency to take each hit personally, if he couldn’t save them all, he felt he hadn’t saved any. 

A good night came with a lightness in his step, his limp just a little less noticeable. He might be tipsy, but in a celebratory way. There’d be particles of whatever undead shitheel got what they deserved settling into the crinkles of that old worn leather jacket. There’d be an earned tiredness that Emilio fell into with an eagerness he rarely carried for settling in. If they could orchestrate the world, Teddy thought, there would be nothing but these types. Saving strangers, feeling a little more whole.  

But then, of course, there were nights like tonight. 

A string of okayish to good weeks was bound to come to an end. Teddy had been milling about the kitchen, stress baking some new cookie recipe. All hair on edge and nerves bristled. Hoping, wishing, and dreaming that it was another false alarm. That Emilio was late because he……. Found a puppy and carefully brought it back to its owner, only to find out that the owner was a terrible mean Mare or just an asshole and now he’s got a little brother for Perro. Or something. 

A billion possibilities played out. Teddy strongly willed the positive ones to be louder, more vivid. It was the only way to deal with the silence. Silence broken by a sharp quick bark and a resigned retort. The worried baker’s body sighed along with their breath. Releasing a tension that just couldn’t have been good for the cookies. He was home. Finally. Good. 

“Em—?” They called out as if they wouldn’t recognize him in a sea of doppelgangers. “—I’m in the kitchen, babe.” 

—- 

His concern had been in Perro’s bark waking Teddy from a restful sleep but, in all honesty, he should have known better. He was late. They’d expected him home hours ago, drunk and stumbling but in one piece. He should have known better than to expect them to go to bed without knowing for certain, one way or another, if he’d be coming home at all. This was a house filled to its brim with the results of worst-case scenarios. Was it any surprise that Teddy, when faced with an unknown, might have jumped to those sorts of conclusions?

Emilio tried to determine, without moving from where he stood, how worried Teddy had been. He could smell cookies baking, but it was impossible to know how many Teddy had packed into the oven without making his way into the kitchen. And it would be impossible to make his way into the kitchen without Teddy taking in the state of him. 

Quietly, he tried to take stock. He’d refused all offers of the hospital, which meant avoiding Zane’s inevitable commentary but also meant the ‘patch job’ he’d received had involved packing bandages over wounds intended to bleed him dry and no blood to replace what had been lost. He looked like shit, and he knew it. He was pale, the bandages he’d slapped over the wounds had already been bled through, his hair was a mess, his eyes still wild. The moment he stepped foot into Teddy’s line of sight, there’d be no hiding it. And, normally, Emilio would be fine with that. He didn’t like hiding shit from Teddy, anyway, saw no point in it. They told one another everything, and there was never any fear of judgment to it. Teddy had seen him in worse states than this, and they loved him still. 

But they would want to know what had happened. They would ask what had done this, and Emilio couldn’t help but wonder what old feelings might be stirred up when the truth came out. Teddy was a child when their parents tried to sacrifice them to a demon. Despite how it had ended, it must have been a terrifying ordeal. Adding to that the complicated mess they’d found in Canada, and what would this story do to them? He didn’t want to upset them, didn’t want to stir up anything they hadn’t fully dealt with yet.

Maybe he could delay the inevitable conversation. Things wouldn’t look so bad after a shower, he thought; at least he could wash the blood off, make himself look less like a goddamn crime scene. Maybe it would ease the paranoid pounding in his chest, too, make him less jumpy and rattled when he told the story. He could tell a joke, make it less of a horror show, pretend it didn’t bother him, pretend nothing did. That would be better, he thought. 

Leaning against the wall, he closed his eyes for a moment. “Hey, Teds,” he called out, trying to keep his voice… calm and settled and unafraid. It trembled a little. He knew better than to think they wouldn’t notice. “Just going to shower, okay? You can go ahead and go to bed, I’ll be in there soon.” Perro licked at his shoe, letting out a small whine. Emilio swallowed, trying to calm his racing pulse. He was fine. He just needed to convince his aching chest.

—-

The vacuum of space made more noise than Teddy Jones as they tried to listen in for every detail they could glean. Every note in the song Emilio strung together. A little lilty and wilty and not as convincing as it should have been. Lacking the slippery tug of a whiskey slur. No, not drunk. But late, and hiding. A pang of worry sunk their heart about two feet deeper into their chest. A burrowed hole that had been excavated all through the night, showed no signs of slowing now. 

Worry shook their hands, and bid them to set the tray of treats down on the counter, but hopefully didn’t show in their voice. At least, not the tone of it. “Ah, saving me from the stinkster?” They slipped into Spanish, not realizing how much it’d tip their hand. Teddy had a habit of doing that for exactly two reasons, and they weren’t flirting right now. Despite the instinct to do just that for a sense of levity and normalcy. 

“You… hungry at all babe?” 

—- 

Teddy slipped into Spanish, a simple thing that brought with it a strange, living contradiction of both relief and dread. Relief because Emilio, when he was like this, understood Spanish so much easier than English. It fit more comfortably onto his tongue, saved him from having to translate every thought into a clunky and unfamiliar language before speaking it aloud and from being forced to do the same with each response he received. But relief was short-lived, the dread coming soon after. Emilio knew Teddy. At this point, he thought it fair to say that he understood them as well as he understood himself, if not better. Teddy would always move to Spanish if Emilio did it first, but they only initiated the move themself for a very short list of reasons. There were the flirtations, where they used the language they knew Emilio was most comfortable with to entice him into their bed… and there were the concerns, when they fell back without thinking and worry coated every word. It didn’t take a detective to figure out which was to blame for the shift now.

He should have been better at this, should have been more skilled in hiding. He thought he used to be, but he wasn’t sure. Maybe he just hadn’t needed to hide things like this before. After all, his family hadn’t cared much if he came home bloodied and shaking. Those things were expected, were the rule rather than the exception. Juliana loved him, but she had always known his fate was as sealed as her own, had accepted it early. Teddy was different. Teddy loved him and wanted him to live. Emilio wished he knew how to.

“Something like that,” he replied, inching towards the downstairs bathroom. There was no way he’d make it up the stairs right now, and he knew it. He grunted as he bumped the table with his arm, pain radiating from the slice Aesil had left behind. There was blood on the table where he’d brushed against it. He didn’t know if he could clean it up before anyone noticed. He stared at it for a moment, trying not to go back to that basement but not quite sure how to avoid it. It took him longer than it should have to realize Teddy had asked him a question, to turn it over in his mind and formulate a response. “I’m…” His throat felt dry. He closed his eyes for a moment, trying to steady himself. “No. I think…” He stumbled forward, hitting the table again, hard enough for a quiet thud to fill the room this time. Emilio made a face. “Uh, probably just… I’ll do a shake after the… the shower…” He wasn’t much of an actor in this state; if Teddy hadn’t already known something was up, this definitely would have clued them in. Emilio grimaced.

—

Emilio thumped against something and all pretense or care for whatever this charade of pretending they didn’t know there was an issue was gone. The kitchen wasn’t too far from the front door, still it was probably farther than the six or seven strides Teddy made it in, rounding the corner with a wild look of concern. Well met with the sight of him. Covered in a thick patina of grime and dried blood, speckled with glints of light, reflections in the wet of the wounds still weeping. Hastily bound with the Cortez standard of healthcare, though, surprisingly less duct tape than usual. 

“Em—! Jesus fucking christ—” A name not often invoked in this particular house, followed swiftly by a string of curses in a mix of just about every language Ted knew. Then they got closer. Saw the details, not just the mess. 

Breath abandoned Teddy’s chest. The caster tried in vain to catch it back with a sharp inhale but it just left them stunned and frantically looking over Emilio’s decorations. Another three strides and they were by his side. Hands finding safe places to offer support, ignoring completely any grumbling that might come with it. He was still bleeding, so either his hunter shit was shot or there were too many injuries to keep up with. Neither was a good option. Neither left them with any ideas of how to fix it. Still, they could stitch up whatever Emilio would let them, and then tend to whatever he wouldn’t anyway. 

The chair was closer than the shower, which would be good for getting the most of the muck off.  It was harder than the bed, but it’d have to do. With one foot, Teddy dragged it out from under the freshly bloodied table, then gestured to the slayer to sit. All with a look that spelled disaster if he tried to protest. 

“You can barely walk, who the hell did this?”  Emilio was still here, which very likely meant whoever had been on the other side of those cuts was not. They should have been more relieved about that. Undeniably there was a pang of pride that came from their own family lessons on danger and leaving no enemies alive unless they proved useful in some way. But the more human side of Teddy was all frayed nerves that’d already been on edge all night. “Baby, what happened?” 

—-

It was inevitable, the way Teddy rushed into the room. Emilio knew the moment he heard the caster’s voice that there would be little stopping them, understood that all his insistence that he was fine were little more than stalling tactics. If he could have kept them at bay a little longer, he could have healed more, could have cleaned up, could have shown them a version of himself that looked like less of a crime scene. But once he bumped that table, once he let out that quiet grunt that anyone else would have missed entirely, all bets were off. He resigned himself to his fate, leaning against the table as Teddy rushed into the room.

“I’m fine, I’m fine,” he said quietly, unsure which of them he was trying to convince. This wouldn’t kill him. The threat was over. He would heal. There was no reason for the way his heart was still pounding, no excuse for the way his breath caught in his throat. 

He let Teddy fuss over him, even allowing himself to crumple into the chair as they pulled it out. Sitting felt good, though he realized getting up would present a challenge. His legs hadn’t wanted to hold his weight even as he’d forced them to. Now that they’d been allowed a reprieve, he doubted they’d take kindly to being asked to do it again. 

“No one who can do it again,” he said, swallowing. He couldn’t lie to them; even if he’d wanted to, he knew they’d see through it. But the truth was something that might hurt them, and Emilio didn’t want to do that, either. Hadn’t Teddy been through enough bullshit? Didn’t they have a failed sacrifice of their own sitting in the back of their mind, spearheaded by people who were meant to keep them safe? Emilio didn’t want to stir up any memories, didn’t want to make things harder for them. He wanted them to be okay. He didn’t know how to ensure that while also introducing them to this.

They asked, and he shifted his weight, looking down at his hands. Absently, he picked at the corner of the bandage that someone — Lil, maybe, or Erin — had wrapped around one of his wrists. He hadn’t let them do much first aid; more than anything, he’d wanted to get away from them, away from all of it. “Pissed off the wrong person, I guess. Decided to tie me to a chair about it. Not as much fun when you’re not the one doing it. Basement smelled like ass, too.” He tried to keep his voice light, tried to pretend it didn’t matter, but it came out flat. “Got me one in each arm, one in each leg.” The cuts weren’t the kind that came from a fight. It made him all the angrier. “Hit me in the head, too, but I think that was a while ago. Probably fine now.” Teddy wasn’t asking for a catalog of his injuries; he knew that. When Teddy asked what happened, they wanted to know how he was feeling. But it was easier for Emilio to focus on the physical aspect of things. It was easier to pretend that nothing important had happened at all. 

—

An analytical side of Teddy took stock, for everything he mentioned, they made a note. No one who can do it again. A relief. “Good. Good babe. Fuck them, whoever it was.” The hesitancy in his tone wasn’t missed. It was a knot they could untangle in time, but if he didn’t want to talk about it right now then Teddy was content to just make sure that he was as fine as he assured he was. “Sounds like a real peach.” Keep it light. Keep him talking. Keep him here. Home. Alive. Alive. Alive. “D’you do double back at ‘em?” Spark up that pride, maybe. Kickstart something and maybe it’d stoke up the furnace. Get the healing going better. 

Void above and below there was so much blood. Teddy gnawed at their lower lip until they realized with an ashamed shock that the pain they should have been feeling from it was probably going right through their hands to his lips. The realization sent a stone hurdling into their stomach like an asteroid smashing down to earth. “Ah— shit. Sorry love.” Quiet, and through a grimace they apologized while smoothing a finger over the slayer’s chin. “I’m gonna get something to clean you up.” Reluctantly they stepped away from him, only to turn back and add; “You move and I’m gonna be the one tying you up, capiche?”   

Fretting like a mother hen, Teds flitted back to the kitchen, grabbing a handful of useful items before heading back and laying out their haul on the table. Bunch of rags, pot of warm water, bottle of whiskey. Not for drinking. Something that’d earn a swat if the slayer reached for it. “Ain’t gonna feel good, love. But if you sit nice, I’ll give you a good reward, kay?” Once again, Teddy fell back on the humor and sweetness. They wanted to know, of fucking course they wanted to know. And they’d find out. Eventually. But for now, he looked like shit and Teds would give anything to see him feeling better. 

— 

He wanted to say yes. He wanted to say I tore them into pieces, wanted to say I killed them slow, wanted to say all the things he wished he’d done, but to do so would mean lying to Teddy and that was something Emilio didn’t want to do. So he closed his eyes, shook his head just a little. “Somebody else came in,” he replied, feeling a little ashamed at that. “It wasn’t… I didn’t do anything but bleed.” And still, he’d survived. How was it fair? How was it that Juliana, or Rosa, or Edgar, or his mother could fight with everything they had in Mexico and still die while Emilio did nothing more impressive than sit in a chair with a knife held against his throat and somehow make it out alive? There was no honor in it, no justice. 

He hadn’t realized the faint pain in his lip came from Teddy until they apologized for it. With everything else going on, he’d hardly felt it at all. He shrugged, shaking his head slightly at their apology. “S’okay,” he reassured them, bringing a hand up to brush fingers across their cheek gently. He was careful not to leave any blood there. With a sigh, he nodded. “It’s fun when you do it,” he reminded them. But… he didn’t think he’d ask them to engage in that particular activity any time soon. He thought he’d had enough of being tied up for a while.

Teddy was gone and back in the blink of an eye, though Emilio wasn’t sure if it was because they hurried or because he was losing time. It could have been both; Teddy was quick when they were worried, and time was a liquid thing when Emilio was like this. Naturally, he did reach for the whiskey and earned that gentle swat in response, biting back a remark of I was nearly sacrificed to a demon, I think I deserve a drink. Grimacing at Teddy’s warning, he nodded. “Quick as you can,” he requested. “Want to wash the blood off. Don’t like how it feels.” 

—

Tenderly, Teddy began a ritual of their own. Non-magical, but just as methodic. Dunk the rag, let it sit for a second as they smoothed their palm behind the fabric. Fingers tap dancing gently along the surface looking for lumps and bumps without being too intrusive. Wipe the softened grime away without putting too much pressure on the bruises, then off to the next. Teds worked in tandem with the two rags, while one soaked and released the blood and dirt it had gathered, the other found a new spot on the slayer’s skin. 

At times, their chest hovered just above his. They could just barely feel it when his rose up with each ragged breath. A swell that showed just how bad the storm was. Even if the worst of it was over. The man’s body, a broken ship just barely sailing back to harbor. Apparently, only thanks to the efforts of someone else. 

Shit. 

“Well, I owe them a big one, Should’a been me rescuing the pretty damsel—” The words came out, an involuntary response to a heavy revelation. Emotional bandaids meant to siv through complicated events and leave things brighter without having to actually process them. That’s the way they dealt with shit, right? It wasn’t how they wanted to, wasn’t how they were trying to be. Still Teddy paused. Sank with the realization. They’d seen this page before, knew what was simmering behind those words, behind that stony expression. 

Teddy took Emilio’s jaw in their hand, tilted it upwards, got a good look right in his eyes. “Hey, agapitos, sweetheart, you don’t have to be the hero every time. You didn’t do anything wrong just because someone had to save you. Didn’t do anything wrong just because you survived. You came home to me, you came home. That’s what matters.”  

After a long moment of staring, longing, aching, they returned to the task at hand. Lots more blood to clear. More story to unfold. As the wounds were uncovered, one by one, they told more of the tale. Not one of passionate malice, but of perfected methodical precision. The placement, the size, the symmetry. It all brought a hitch to their breath, and a concern to their brow. Lacing them tight and close as they inspected just to make sure. As if they didn’t know what they were looking at, as if they couldn’t spot the signs a mile away. 

“This— Babe— Was thi— Did you—” Their own experience as a toddler aside, Teddy had seen plenty of rituals. Read all sorts of books. Grew up on the demonic side of these sort of things. Immediately they began searching far more intently, inspecting each wound as if they expected something to be hidden amongst the hastily closed injuries. 

They reached out, but not with a hand. Searching for any lingering energies that may have followed the man, may have still had their claws in, but found none. A relief. Enough that they sank, head against his chest, listening to his heart to remind them he was still here. And it was going to be okay. It had to be. Like Em said, the demon was gone. Dealt with. Good. 

“…How in the hell did you get yourself in that situation?” 

—- 

He let himself be killed by the repetitive nature of the task, let his mind drift away from what was happening with his body. The sting of antiseptic was a distant thing, swallowed up by stormy thoughts. He recreated the basement in his mind, tried to rewrite his actions within it. If he'd been smarter, or faster, if he hadn't let himself get distracted after his encounter with Aesil at the market… Emilio was sloppier and sloppier these days. His continued survival wasn't something he'd earned.

But here was someone who was glad for it anyway. Here was someone who would clean his wounds and tend to them without caring what he deserved. Someone who worried when he didn't come home, who mourned when he was hurt as if it was their skin that bore the marks instead of his. Emilio tried to remain present for them. It was easier said than done.

Teddy registered his discomfort the same way they always did, tilted his face up so his eyes met theirs to combat it. Emilio’s throat burned; he told himself it was the blood loss and nothing else. It wasn't a lie he believed as much as he used to. “Said they'd go after the people I cared about next,” he said, barely a whisper. “If those people hadn't come when they had…” It was one thing if Emilio’s tendency towards pissing people off got him killed. He'd resigned himself towards that possibility a long time ago. But when it threatened other people, people he loved… “I'm sorry.” It wasn't enough.

He went quiet again as Teddy tended to his wounds, though the apology seemed to repeat itself in his expression. He watched Teddy look him over, saw the moment they recognized the injuries. He should have known better than to think they wouldn't be familiar with the injuries one might use to bleed a sacrifice out on an altar, given who had raised them. He swallowed, looking away.

“Met a zombie in a graveyard a few months back. Thought he was hiding something, so when I ran into him again at a market, I tried to…” He trailed off. Tried to be enough of an ass to trick him into slipping up. Not his best strategy, especially when the guy ended up possessed by a damn demon. “Guess when I saw them the second time, it wasn't him anymore. He didn't like me, and they needed…” He trailed off. Teddy knew what that demon needed. Emilio knew that. “I was a convenient target. Could solve two problems at once by taking me out, I guess. So they cut me open. Started their shit. And then… the guy's friends show up. Bring an exorcist with them. Save him. Save me, too, I guess.” 

He lifted a hand, waving it in a vague gesture. End of story. So why was his heart still pounding?

—

A fine pair, weren’t they? Each playing the game of battleship, except instead of destruction, they were blindly attempting to assuage the fears of the other, without knowing the precise boundaries of each emotion. Every attempt to smooth the jagged edges shot off in the darkness. Occasionally clipping catastrophes they hadn’t even known were connected. 

Teddy listened, intently. A few pieces sliding into place. A demon showing up in the last few months. A graveyard worker. Needed a sacrifice for something. “Aesil…?” A name shuddered in soft tones. Teddy hoped to be corrected, to know that it was completely unrelated, but knew better. Too many coincidences in a town too small for coincidences to exist. Teddy had started talking to the demon. Teddy had started to pry but then— Ah but then too many things took their attention. They wanted to help Van, they thought they were helping by preparing everything for the ritual with Leviathan but— 

When did time ever care for what Teddy was trying to do? 

When did they ever get things right at all? 

A lump refused to be swallowed, holding basecamp in their throat, making it hard to breathe. “I knew—  Babe, if I’d been— I should have— It’s not your—“ Each sentence burbled up to the surface only to be squashed by another. Guilt could eat away any defenses they put up faster than they could assemble them. The cracks in their mask showed the concern leaking through. The fear that they could have lost him and in some way it would have been their fault for not being present enough. Not being there for him, or for Van the way they should have been. 

The thrum of energy spiking through Teddy’s body found its way to their foot. Tapping on the ground as if they could just shake it all away. Pleading eyes searched Emilio’s for something that wouldn’t be there, but they expected all the same. It wasn’t like the man to blame them for anything. He’d fall on the knife long before  casting an accusation their way. “I’m sorry, I’m— I knew this shit was going on, but— fuck I didn’t know enough. Then you got in the mix— Is— Shit is Van okay??”

—- 

They said the name, and Emilio’s eyes darted up to meet theirs, question shining behind them. He hadn't said it, had he? Hadn't spoken it aloud, hadn't mention it. He told himself it was because of what Teddy had taught him over the last year: that names carried power in every syllable, that speaking one into the silence could give its owner more than you wanted them to have. That was easier to swallow than the truth: that Emilio was still afraid, even now. It was a shameful thing, that fear. He wasn't supposed to have it.

“How did you…?” Did Teddy know the demon, somehow? How small were circles like the one Levi had built for itself over the centuries? That pit of fear in his stomach grew a little larger. Not fear that Teddy wouldn't be on his side, but the opposite — fear that they would go after Aesil, find some way to go into whatever realm the priest’s exorcism had banished them to and drag them back just to make them pay, fear that Teddy might be hurt in the process.

But instead of anger, there was guilt. Teddy had known more than Emilio had. Faintly, he remembered a conversation, the way Teddy wanted to summon Levi back here to deal with another demon. Emilio hadn't written it off, but he'd put it aside when Teddy promised not to move forward without him. That was his mistake, it seemed; he never had any shortage of those.

“Not your fault. It's — I'm the one who — I should've known better, should've —” The rest of what they said registered. Van. Shit. She'd been the one to summon the demon Teddy had mentioned, the one that turned out to be Aesil. Emilio swallowed, uncertain. “I don't… she wasn't there. They didn't say anything about her, didn't — Have you talked to her? We should — we can go…” He moved to get up, to go to the door. 

—

Acid swirled in their stomach, Teddy saw the recognition and felt the world tilt sideways with the confirmation. A small relief, Van wasn’t there. Wasn’t in the middle of the bloody mess, but was that because she was somewhere else? In danger? How long had it been since they talked? How long since she’d posted something online? Uneasy, unsure, and unable to remember clearly what was a fabrication of fear and what was real. Their eyes knit shut as they tried to parse through rapids, but kept getting stuck in the reeds. 

Emilio started to shift, Teddy didn’t see it but they felt his movement. Only for them to push him (perhaps a bit more forcefully than they’d like with all those injuries) back into the chair. “No- hey, we can call. I can text her. You aren’t going anywhere until those close up.” Where was their phone? Back in the kitchen, working as a timer for the last batch that still sat in the oven. Sitting close by in case Emilio called while they paced the tile floor. Now it was out of reach, all while Ted felt a need to keep a hand on the man’s chest. Lest he jump up again. Re-open what bits his body managed to heal. Make things hurt longer, worse, heal incorrectly. No. That wouldn’t do. 

“Promise me, my life, you aren’t going anywhere right now. Okay?” Teddy knew the ache tugging him outward, felt the same pull. Hell, they wanted to slip out the door and go strike up a search party. Pulled in twain by a heart divided. The only thing rooting them to the floor was the fact that there was no reason to believe Van was in danger, and very obviously, very clearly, Emilio was. He was hurt, and afraid. Teddy realized that now. There was something lacing the man’s features that so rarely showed up that they didn’t quite know how to combat it. 

“You don’t go anywhere, and I won’t do anything stupid. Okay?” 

— 

Teddy pushed him back into the chair, and Emilio let out a low sound that he’d deny as a whine. Now that he had a better understanding of the situation, now that he knew where the demon had come from, he couldn’t help but internally chastise himself for not figuring it out sooner. He and Teddy had talked about this, not long ago at all. How many demons could there be running around town at once? Why hadn’t he realized the two were connected? (The answer, of course, was that there were usually dozens of demons running around Wicked’s Rest at once; Emilio seemed destined to accidentally involve himself with most of them. A smarter man would have probably taken that as a sign to be a little less nosy. No one had ever accused Emilio Cortez of being a smart man.)

“I’m fine, baby. Looks worse than it is.” He ached all over. Teddy would see through the bullshit, because they always did. They’d recognize the heaviness to his limbs, the way his eyes weren’t all there. The cuts designed to bleed him dry were bad enough on their own, but the mental aspect of what he’d gone through had him looking even more on edge than usual. It was a feat. And it would make him reckless. Teddy’s fear that he’d wind up worsening his injuries was a well-founded one. Most of the aches that clung to Emilio from old wounds existed because of his inability to allow himself moments like this, of sitting still in the aftermath.

If not for that look Teddy was giving him, he would have done the same now. But their eyes pinned him to the chair even more thoroughly than Aesil’s binds in that basement, and his expression softened as they spoke, the endearment melting some of the tension from his shoulders. They offered him a deal: if he stayed, they’d stay with him. They wouldn’t do anything reckless so long as he didn’t, either. Emilio nodded stiffly, letting his eyes slip shut for a moment. “Okay,” he agreed, first in English and then again in Spanish. “Okay. Just — Let me know when you hear from her. I didn’t — I didn’t put it together. Should have. I just — I wasn’t thinking right.” I was afraid. He couldn’t say it. He let it linger, unspoken and heavy. 

—

Teddy considered this for a long while. Not just the request, but the scene as a whole. Emilio was really shaken up, and the best they had to offer was a plate of cookies he probably wouldn’t eat. The sigh that rolled through their chest did little to slow their heartbeat. Less to calm the worry in their heart. But it gave them a moment to think, at least a little clearer. Whatever this mess was, it was done. At least for now. They planted a kiss on his forehead, lingered there for a moment before settling back. 

“You’ll be the first to know, it’s– Bunch a shit was going on, love. Wasn’t something anyone could see coming. It– it hurts a lot but maybe it’s not anyone’s fault.”  Least of all his. No matter how much the man would feel it was, nor how much they wanted to shift the blame to their own shoulders. Atlas waiting on the world to turn. Hoping the change would bring someone some brightness. 

Just about then, the alarm on the phone went off. Well, a less than catchy jingle about dogs rather than an actual alarm-alarm. Which Teds was thankful for. The last thing either of them needed was a sudden jolt of shrill noise. “That’ll be the cookies I made.” They sighed again, this time more from the hesitancy to leave his side rather than the overwhelming weight of the universe making itself known. “I’ll be right back, love. Then I’ll get you to bed and into some cleaner clothes. Or better yet, none at all. Okay?” 

—

Their lips found his forehead, and a little more of the tension melted away from his shoulders. Ease was an ironically difficult thing for Emilio to find. Most days, he was wound so tight that it made it hard to breathe, hard to let himself go even for the split second it took to fill his lungs with air. Teddy made it a little easier. It wasn’t a complete repair — Emilio didn’t think something like that was possible for a thing as broken as him — but it was something, at least. It was enough to fill in the cracks, even if it couldn’t mend them entirely. 

“Okay,” he agreed with the first part, though the second was harder to wrap his head around. He was a detective. He was the guy who was supposed to see these things coming. But arguing with Teddy, when it came to the worth of whatever it was Emilio was these days, was a pointless thing, and he was tired. He didn’t want to fight. He worried if he did, they might take back their promise at staying out of trouble. That wasn’t a risk he’d take with his mind as addled as it was. 

Had it been a traditional alarm, the suddenness of the sound coming from Teddy’s phone might have made him jump. But the song was less startling, if only because of how baffling it was. Emilio wrinkled his nose at it, but nodded as Teddy glanced towards the kitchen. They seemed hesitant to leave. Emilio understood the feeling. “Better grab them before you burn the house down,” he replied, forcing his tone into something a little less flat than it had been before. The ghost of a smile on his lips was genuine, and he nodded. “No clothes,” he agreed with a sigh. “You trying to seduce me, Jones?” It was a weak attempt at flirting, but less… all over the place than his earlier tries. He liked to think that counted for something.

—

Even just a whisper of a smile on his lips was enough to put a pep back into Teddy’s step. Push back the tide of dread that threatened to flood at any given moment. It wasn’t a lot, but it was a step closer to actual fine. A step off the ledge Emilio always seemed to loom over. The caster eased into a soft smirk of their own, before the callings of something called the ‘cheese tax’ and the threat of un-perfectly baked treats pulled harder. Still, they lingered for one more quick kiss before dashing to the kitchen. 

Snickerdoodles, chocolate chip, lemon raspberry linzers, a three recipe night, they noted. Teddy removed the tray from the oven and placed it with the others. Grabbing a couple that seemed cool enough to eat before heading back to help Emilio get up and out of the chair. With a cookie in their mouth, they urged him upward. Put an arm below his and used every bit of human strength they’d gotten from working out so much ever since the de-demonification. 

Through the cookie, they called back. “Am I ever not trying to seduce you, Mister Jones?” Tinted tenderly with an updated name. Emilio bleeding out on Teddy’s boat, Teddy feverish and addled from the cavernous crystals, both of them throwing quips like darts, neither a goddamn clue what would come next. Simpler days. Back when calling him Cortez wasn’t like taking a knife to the hidden fears that pulled at Emilio’s strings. They’d only ever change one thing, that they didn’t start seducing him earlier. Didn’t speak the spell of feelings and what the man meant to them. Damn near everything, that’s what. 

“Let’s get to bed, we can talk more once we’ve both had some rest, okay love?” 

[edgier-than-a-diamond]

break and midnight for james, for the not so nice oc asks 🐉🔍

Thank you for the ask 🫶!! Ask game this is from here! Very very sleepy now so apologies for errors.

break: What would cause your OC to break down completely? What do they look like when that happens? Has anyone ever seen them at their lowest?

-The end of cycle 1 is a prime example of James breaking. He cared so little about continuing on that even his body refused to heal properly… and of course, Allen was there to see most of it. But there are more things that could break him after that in subsequent cycles (and perhaps, do.. haven't decided which/how these happen but. my brain is turning them over).

Probably the first and worst is when his connection with Allen is severed (end of cycle 2). Second worst would be if his family moved their copious resources and connections to either drag him back to their estate (which could happen in cycle 3) or claw their way into inextricably being involved with his affairs (very likely happens in the end of cycle 2). Smaller breaks probably happen to him during Unmoored World, when he repeatedly tries (and fails) to save wandering pawns from the hordes of undead and boss monsters that rose when he decided to try and free the world from the cycle. When he breaks, he usually turns to self-destructive or avoidant behaviors. He straight-up just walks into the brine to take it out on himself until Allen convinces him to stop halfway through cycle 2. He'll also throw himself into fights when he knows are riskier, or when he's already pretty injured. Avoidance-wise, he stops talking to people he knows were expecting something of him, feign sickness instead of going to events, and sleeps a lot more than he needs to.

midnight: What keeps your OC up at night? Do they have nightmares? Fears? Anxieties? What do they do in the small hours of the morning when they should be sleeping?

-Definitely stress keeps him awake. On the nights before events like the coronation, he doesn't sleep at all because he keeps trying to think of ways to make sure it goes perfectly (and in subsequent cycles, ways to convince Captain Brant that it isn't worth it and mitigate some of its effects). He has nightmares often, whimpering and talking in his sleep. On the rare occasion he'll shoot up out of bed, breathing hard and sweating after a particularly bad one. (Putting a hand on the knife under his pillow helps during the first minute when he's trying to get through the residual fear.) When he can't sleep from just normal insomnia, he'll instead mend clothes or read by candlelight. If it's from anxiety, he'll pace the room until his body is too tired to support his brain's wakefulness, and/or write things to help him work through what he's thinking.