#it has been a great day of memes. good job everybody

[yourfaveisdefinitelyalive]

Queen Elizabeth II is definitely still alive!

Requested by anonymous

[frownyalfred]

*busts down your doors* HEY! Long ask for ya

okay so I was rereading your fic where EMS showed up because Dick couldn’t flip on the trampoline (rip) and it got me thinking about routine trauma.

So here’s the thing: I am not EMS. I know three people who are EMS, but my extent of EMS experience comes from one (1) ride along and lurking on EMS subreddits. Those guys are a hoot. Great memes. Anyways.

A comment stuck out to me: “You haven’t truly lived the job until you’re eating a gas station burrito next to a dead body”. I’ve seen a bunch like that. Nonchalance and dark humor because well, that’s their job. Gore is the norm. Sure, depending on the area, your usual calls might just be lift assists, but other areas are neck deep in gang violence and violent crime.

A pretty common post on that subreddit is also, sadly, “I just got a call that’s never bothered me before but all of a sudden I’m broken” or “I’ve never had a problem running this type of call before but all of a sudden it just hit me.” Delayed trauma is a bitch. Someone pointed out that if a civilian saw a fatal car accident with multiple corpses, they’d be in therapy and given support and it’d be a huge deal. With EMS, they’re just expected to deal with it. (EMS mental health is getting better- there are helplines and resources and first responder focused therapies- but it’s still a developing field)

ANYWAYS, now that I’ve given you a crash course on the EMS mental health crisis (someone should really write a feature on EMS in Gotham those fuckers would be crazy and I love them already), my point is, how would this apply to the bats? Seeing bodies is treated as very much the norm to them, but do you think it ever just… catches up? The impact of seeing corpses day after day? Do you think they have to fake being fine and tough during those times because well, “everybody else in the family is fine with it, I’m not going to be a liability/burden/weak/etc”

Do you think Bruce, the goddamn batman, who shouldn’t be ruffled by anything, ever just feels something crack inside when he looks at a little boy who could have grown up healthy and strong like his Jason, had (Bruce) someone been there for him? and then he can’t work cases with kids for a week?

This is such an excellent ask, thank you so much for gracing my inbox with it!

It's a very good question. I'm also on a lot of those subreddits (needed to do some research for that fic) and the discussion in those forums and on TikTok is like you described, a kind of practiced desensitization to all gore and suffering in order to survive in their job.

What I've seen from those discussions (and my EMT friend) is an almost sub-conscious trend where they allow themselves the "thing" that breaks them, and they push a lot of that trauma and emotion onto that thing. Like an EMT saying they don't do kids, or they don't do gunshots to the eye, etc. And they'll sob like a baby on those calls, while remaining stone-faced and level-headed through the triple homicide.

I'm just theorizing here, but I imagine the Batfamily uses similar coping skills -- pushing all that trauma and suffering into a box which cracks only under limited, defined circumstances. And they break or snap only under those conditions, because, subconsciously, they allowed themselves to.

So yes, Bruce might be 99% fine with most of the bodies he sees, but there might be a little boy who has a detail (like Jason's dark hair) that just slams into him out of nowhere.

PTSD and trauma literally change the structure of the brain. Individuals react differently to trauma after that, but there does appear to be a "desensitizing" effect with repeated trauma, as the body tries to compensate.

I agree that the Gotham EMTs must be some crazy motherfuckers. They probably deal with 6x the normal shit EMTs deal with in other cities. They probably take on a lot more trauma and burn out quicker than other EMTs, too.

Anyone else have thoughts on this? I admit I don't cover PTSD explicitly in a lot of my fics.

[sleepyhead-poll]

WINNER ANNOUNCEMENT

Thank you for everybody for participating in the Sleepyhead Tournament! It's been a lot of fun, we had a lot of interesting matches and propaganda throughout it all! Now that it's finally concluded (+ a few extra days for good measure) it's time to announce the winners!

First, I want to give a shout out to the Mod's Choice winner, Garfield! The Mod's Choice was a single poll, compilations of my favorite characters submitted for the tournament! It isn't the most definitive of tournaments, but it's enough to give a sleepy, lasagna-loving orange kitty an honorary bronze medal! It was a little disappointing to see him lose in Round 1, so I was definitely glad to see him get this at least! Meme and cultural icon himself, you go Garfield!

Next I want to highlight the two Bronze medalists! These are the two that got to a Semi-Finals, before losing. It definitely wasn't an easy fight to get this far. Though they were not able to get into the finals, we can give that silly dog and pink squish ball a round of applause! Their sleepyheadness cannot be understated! Snoopy is a Tumblr icon and everybody loves Kirby, so is it any surprise they got this far! :)

Now, we congratulate the runner-up of the tournament, the Silver medalist, Portgas D. Ace! This was definitely a surprise, as although One Piece is very popular, he was only submitted a few times AND won against Roronoa Zoro, another One Piece character who was the MOST submitted character. I'm not a One Piece person, but have to hand it to the guy! Good job!

NOW IS FOR THE WINNER! THE GUARDIAN OF LOVE AND JUSTICE HERSELF, SAILOR MOON! USAGI TSUKINO! Usagi was my original profile picture for this blog and I recently reread all the manga, so I was definitely very happy to see that she won this tournament! CONGRATULATIONS USAGI, WE LOVE YOU!!! May your next Sailor Moon power up let you take the best nap in the world...

BUT WAIT! THERE IS ONE MORE WINNER TO CONGRATULATE!

We ran a Loser's Bracket as well, the winner of which was Snorlax! A great choice, as Snorlax has always been one of my favorite Pokemon and had a lot of excitement going into the tournament! Not only that, but when this Loser's Bracket winner went against the main tournament winner, Snorlax won!!! One could make the case that THEY were the real winner, even if they lost in the main tournament. Congratulations Snorlax, here is your gold medal :D

Once again, thank you everyone for making this tournament so fun! Love you all <3

[msommers]

60-64 for my beautiful sunshine angel Elena

thank youuu 😘😘 // sixty-nine questions for your ttrpg characters

60. what do they have faith in? what keeps them believing?

her pelorian beliefs would be the #1 here, and they’ve never wavered because she has been literally surrounded by proof that they’re Right and Good every day of her life. people are safe, healthy and fed because of the work she (and other folk of the temple) do each day, spreading the light and compassion to those who need it. the faith is about doing so many acts of good that evil has no room to exist, and it’s such an admirable and simple goal that elena has never once found reason to waver on. she also has faith in the people of whitestone, though that kinda took a bit of a dent when the list of people doing terrible things while in control of great power kept growing longer and longer.

61. is there an in-game moment of theirs you think about and just laugh?

the visual of elena returning to the dining table to find the rest of the party trying very hard to appear like every single one of them hadn't followed her out the front door and down to the park for her talk with donny lmao

62. do they believe in good and evil?

naturally. as somebody who was basically Good wrapped into a little bundle by the dawnfather and handed over to the grangers, there’s no way she wouldn’t have beliefs in good/evil. it’s been a while but if i remember correctly, she had a whole mindset where she believed that everybody (outside of monstrous exceptions bc duh) was born inherently good, but that light inside of them could become corrupted by the world around them. and if they had been led too far away, it was her and other pelorians’ jobs to lead them back to the light. to the good. and yeah that can certainly be a flawed way to look at things but she’s a fucking lady made of warmth and sunlight and goodness what do you want from her ofc she’s always trying to see the positive in people why do you think she’s so heartbroken over learning about people’s dark sides

63. what’s a meme or tiktok or vine (or whatever) that you associate with them?

numerous thomas sanders vines because they’re wholesome, but the “if i were a dog show judge” one is for sure up there as one of the most notable. she loves dogs so much wants to pet them all. also those heartspam pics telling someone to take care of themself/expressing love and support/etc, those have big elena energy

64. how would a party member describe them?

stubbornly optimistic, incredulously pure/good, cute and legitimately glowing. kinda hard to suss out an answer here because i imagine each member had a different view on her given their own histories, views and such

[hejdetermig]

every year i can feel myself leveling up in wisdom & maturity. like i’m 22 now, my life is completely different than when i was 19. ive realized so many things that i didn’t even know were things that existed. like how to socialize and how to be a likable person and what things will really make me content with myself and my life. part of me is scared of getting older and scared that i’m not utilizing my time go well enough and i’m wasting my youth but most of me can’t wait until i’m 30. it’s so great i don’t even have to do anything just keep existing. everything naturally finds a way. my life sucked at 19. i feel like my kid self again at 22. just doing what i want, being alone, having patience, breaking everything down into bite size steps, making things easy for myself, actually having the ability to do that when my younger self would just shut down with stress. not dating, learning about self esteem and confidence, learning to forgive my parents, learning to let go of self-destructive habits that southern baptist christianity taught me. learning that it’s okay to be content with not feeling good. i don’t need to feel happy and worry-free all the time. figuring out what pursuits make me excited. learning cheats about life like how gratitude is one of the easiest ways to turn my mood around. legit that pitbull lyric that’s become a meme “This for everybody going through tough times, Believe me, been there, done that, But every day above ground is a great day, remember that.” NO JOKE gets me through my worst moments. figuring out i had adhd and finding an entry level job with good insurance and then finding a doctor and then getting diagnosed and then taking medicine that lets me function how i’ve always needed to. the same doctor realizing before i did that i have minor depression and prescribing me medicine. telling the same doctor i believe i have clinical anxiety (ocd) and her prescribing me medicine. this took a lot of time but it was all worth it. figuring out that they weren’t kidding when they said slow and steady wins the race. learning to trust myself. when bts said “i know, i know, i know myself.” my mom tells me i need to think less and just jump into things. but that doesn’t often work out for me. what works for me is thinking new things through and preparing myself 100% before starting. we’re just different types of people. but also realizing my parents were right about a lot of stuff. i recently have been really relieved to realize that a lot of wisdom i’ve acquired has come from making mistakes and i wouldn’t have all this wisdom if i did everything perfectly. so i’m less worried about making mistakes. i read something about how there’s no right or wrong decisions, life just opens up pockets of time as a result of whatever decision you make. or something like that idk. learning that being cynical is cool but it’s legit poison for the soul. being grateful no matter what is what’s actually cool. i read something about seeing every person you encounter as someone you can learn from and that’s been kinda life changing. especially for annoying people that i would usually look down on. anyway im done poopin i’m going to be late for work.

[irikahkrios]

i was tagged in this mass effect questions meme by @imakemywings and, although i do like answering posts like this, i'm pretty sure this was the same one that was going around to try to silence any criticism of the demaster before its release. with that in mind, i couldn't resist taking the opportunity to put in a few more critical questions to balance out the positive ones. EDIT: apparently i'm wrong and this is a new meme, and just has similar wording/questions to that other one. but i've kept my extra questions because why not lmao

I've been a fan since: christmas day 2017, when i bought andromeda on sale. i wasn't planning on playing the trilogy because of the lack of gay romances, but then i saw thane and, well. y'know.

Favorite game of the series: me2 or andromeda

Favorite gender for Shepard?: mshep my beloved <3 love being able to play a male video game protag (in a Shooty Sci-fi Game no less) as soft and loving and respectful of everyone around him. paragon mshep and his respectful caring friendships with his crew just make me very happy

Earthborn, Colonist or Spacer?: spacer

Paragon or Renegade?: paragon, i can't make myself choose evil options in video games

Biotics or Tech?: biotics

Favorite class: vanguard

Favorite companions: irikah and thane

Least favorite companions: liara

My squad selection: me1 is garrus + tali, me2 and me3 is any combination of irikah + thane + garrus, andromeda is liam + jaal

Favorite in-game romance: thane/irikah/shepard forever. like, the themes? these two people who have been so thoroughly broken down by their experiences and their trauma, who have been clinging to each other and trying to ensure a future for their son without really thinking about themselves beyond "when we go out, we'll go out together," meeting this person who makes them both realize that there can be a future for them too?? who makes them see the beauty and possibilities in the galaxy again, makes them remember why they fell in love in the first place and makes them dream of a future (however brief it may be, due to thane's illness) for themselves and this wonderful person? like. fuck. they're my everything

Least favorite romance: thane/shepard without irikah.

Other pairings I like: obviously thane/irikah is my lifeblood and my reason for getting up in the morning. their love is the most important thing in the world and in these silly space games

Favorite NPCs: kolyat, anderson, and conrad verner

Favorite antagonist: i think kai leng had lots of potential and deserved better development. i wish he'd been introduced in me2, it would have helped with a lot of his writing problems in me3 if he was an established character in the games instead of seemingly coming out of nowhere unless you happened to have read the books.

i also think shepard's clone was a really interesting character concept and i wish they hadn't died. my shepard's clone has a whole-ass character arc postcanon

Least favorite antagonist: the geth. bioware did a great job of making them super creepy and soulless, every time i see one of those things i just wanna grab the shotgun

Favorite mission: priority tuchanka. literally the perfect mission, the absolute peak of good writing in this series. you finally get to cure the genophage, mordin gets maybe the best-written character death in the series, wrex calls my shepard his brother, and there's a giant fucking thresher maw that fucks up a reaper. what more could you possibly ask for

Least favorite mission: priority thessia.

Favorite loyalty mission: tali or jack. also mordin's makes me cry every time. so does miranda's, mostly just because of Same Trauma™

Least favorite loyalty mission: jacob i'm so sorry they did that to you, what the FUCK

Favorite DLC: i know almost everybody probably chooses citadel for this and despite a few problems with it i do really love it, but in the name of choosing a more interesting/less predictable answer i will say that i also have a soft spot for leviathan. surprisingly effective horror, can't describe the feeling of sheer stomach-churning dread i had playing it for the first time when my shepard was going down in that diving mech.

Least favorite DLC: overlord is just. so much. bioware certainly made some Choices when they made that one and i could write an entire essay on it

also i haven't played arrival and never will, like i totally understand that the Point is that it's the trolley problem on a massive scale. but i really don't want my shepard to be the one diverting that particular trolley. if you find it compelling and consider it part of your shepard's canon that's totally cool and valid!! but i'm just not really comfortable having it in my shepard's story.

Control, Synthesis or Destroy: destroy. bioware there's no way i'm letting you kill my shepard. like sorry edi, i love you and i wish you didn't have to die, but i mean. come on.

Favorite weapon: m-22 eviscerator my beloved

Favorite place: gotta be boring and say the citadel wards. i am not immune to beautiful idyllic centers of galactic civilization having shady neon-lit underbellies. same reason my favorite star wars planet is coruscant

A quote I like: gotta go for comedy on this one, it's technically cut content and can only be accessed in-game if you use the save editor, but thane's "my bones are aching..." makes me lose my mind every time i hear it or think about it. it's so weird and out of nowhere

i'm not tagging anybody but if you wanna do it, feel free to say i tagged you!!

[black-dragon1998]

Dream come true

Summary: Christen and Tobin meet reader in a park practicing soccer. from than on their story stars.

recuest:  hey! I have a request for uswntxreader. Can u make it fluff? In this reader is a foster kid and has just turned 18. One day when they were 14 and practicing alone, Preath saw them and then over a period of time they grew closer. One day during the practice the team knew that they were getting a new player but didn't know who. So reader walks out and the first thing that happens is that Tobin jumps on them and Chris getting all excited. The reader goes 'Moms!! ' and the team goes what!!! So then they explain it to everyone and then practice starts. Thanks..

@alex-rusell​

Autor note: This is not been prove read and i came up with it on the spot so is most likcly sucks. sorry in advance.

You had been in foster care ever since you were eight years old. Your parents had died in a car crash and you had no relatives that could take you in so you ended up in the foster system. You had gotten through six families by the time you were fifteen. Every time it was something ells that made end up back in the system. They would get a baby of their own, one lost their job ore couldn’t support you anymore, those were the descent reasons to return you. Other families were just in it for the money they received and you were nothing more than part of the furniture or a punching bag for the father of the house.

 This caused you to retreat into yourself and focus on the one thing you loved to do, football. You would often sneak out to go practice by yourself and improve your skill. Sometimes when you had seen the USWNT on the television you would dream of becoming part of it but you knew that was nothing more than just a dream.

The first time that dream became a bit more reachable was when you mett two players of the National team while you were practising in the park.

 Tobin and Christen had gone for a long walk on their day off from national camp when they came across a beautiful park. The two of them wanted to be away from the rest of the team for a while, the teams teasing working on their nerves.

As they walked they noticed the park was empty except for a girl playing with a ball on a patch of grass. Both soccer players decided to watch her for a bit to see if she was any good. I was happy that they did when the girl kicked the ball high up in the air and then bicycle kick it into the trunk of a nearby tree to make it bounce back to her.

“That was amazing!” Tobin yelled, not able to contain her excitement. Causing you to look up at your spectators. Christen slapped her girlfriend on the shoulder but was also smiling. You just stared at them like a deer caught in headlights, not knowing what to do. Even with their sunglasses and baseball caps, you recognized them.

OMG, those were Tobin Heath and Christen Press that were congratulating you. Internally you were freaking out giving them the time to walk closer to you and pick up the ball that had rolled passed you the moment you caught them staring at you. As they came closer you saw they were still smiling but you couldn’t form any words.

“you are Tobin Heath and Christen press form the woman national team.” You state the obvious but it was the only thing coming out of your mouth. Both women had to smile at your shy voice recognizing them.

“that we are. So now that you know are name want to tell us yours.” Christen asked when she was close enough that she didn’t have to shout. This made you freak out more.

“Christen Press wants to know my name, this had to be a dream.” You rambled not even noting that they were standing next to you.

“(Y/N), (Y/N) (L/N).” you introduced yourself sticking out your hand to shake, remembering your manners. Both women shook it was Tobin started to dribble your ball on her foot.

“well (Y/N) it’s nice to meet you and I have to congratulations you on the nice finish.” You blushed under Christen's praise.

“Yeskid that was totally awesome. Mind if we pitch in for a little, it would be so cool if we could play with somebody as good as you.” Tobin exclaimed kicking the ball to you, which you caught with ease. Who were you to turn down the opportunity to play with two players from the national team.

 After that day you saw Christen and Tobin more and more. they became the rocks that helped you weather the storm, the people you could always rely on when you had a bad day. Christen always answered when you called her and Tobin always send you memes that made you laugh and brightened your day. They became your second mothers even if they didn’t try to be.

 They helped you get through high school and pestered you into applying for college and an apartment when you turned 18. They happier than you when you told them you got into MIT. Next to soccer engineering was your second passion. They were there when you discovered you were gay and never loved you less because of it.

 One night after your classes had ended you got a call from the National woman soccer coach asking you if you wanted to come to camp. Just like that first day of meeting Christen and Tobin you were speechless. After he repeated himself you quickly said yes, jumping up in the air hoping he couldn’t hear it.

“Great I let the team know you will be joining them,” Vlatko said.

“wait! Could it be possible you keep it a secret? There are a couple of players on the team I would like to surprise.” You ask Vlatko, knowing it would be hard to keep this from your moms. Vlatko no stranger to the team's antics agreed to keep your identity a secret and that he would call your school to let them know you would be going need more time for your assignments.

After the call ended you immediately started packing for the trip, sending your moms a text to wish them good luck on their camp. Normally you didn’t lie to them but you wanted to surprise them.

  Christen, Tobin and the rest of the team were sitting on the football field. Just before practice started Vlatko had informed them that a new player would be joining them. This caused everybody to speculate and guess who it could be. So while Vlatko was getting the new players the rest of the team was listing every possible player while Tobin and Christen just huddled together with Ashlyn and Ali.

“you think (Y/N) is alright. Last time we talked she sounded distracted.” Christen asked turning to Tobin, who looked down at her girlfriend.

“she is probably fine babe. Probably neck deep into her next project. “ Tobin tried to reassure her girlfriend knowing how invested you got in everything you loved. As the waiting continued the excitement of the team grew. Eventually, Vlatko emerged from the tunnel calling everybody to attention.

“team as I have mentioned earlier a new player would be joining us. So to not longer leave you guys hanging.” Vlatko says while stepping aside revealing the young player.

Christen and Tobin gasped.

“Hey, moms.” You call out while waving at them. The rest of the team watched in confusion when Preath started running toward the new player.

“Did she just call them mom?” Kelley asked out loud, looking just as dumbfounded as the rest.

You are immediately engulfed in a hug by the two women and can’t help return. Looking up you saw the rest of the team watching you, causing you to retreat into Christen and Tobin.

Taking your hand Christen to lead you back to the team to introduce you.

“girl I would like you to meet (Y/N). she is the one we have been telling you about.” Tobin introducing you to the team. Ever since they had met you they had talked about you to the team, even though they had never met you the veterans knew how much Preath loved you. Christen and Tobin couldn’t stop talking about there girl going to MIT.

Turns out you fitted in amazingly well and then when Tobin told them about the amazing bicycle kick you did on that first meeting, the younger players practically demanded you to show them.

Doing something familiar made your nerves calm down and you only concentrated on Christen and Tobin as you kicked the ball up high.

The team held in their breath as they saw the ball coming down and you standing with your back to the goal and kick the ball right into the upper right corner.

 After that, you got swarmed by the whole team who were congratulating you and the younger players begging you to teach them all the while your moms just watched you with a smile.

This was better than any dream you could have had as a kid and you were so happy you met your moms.

[neonponders]

This isn’t what @memes-saved-me had in mind for this post but lol (read their tags, they’re delightful) 

Thinking about a younger Billy and an older Steve today ✨

✨ ✨ ✨ ✨ ✨ ✨ ✨

Billy scratched at the hair on his nape. He wanted to grow it out; really had always wanted long hair. And now, as he peered at the other sophomores trying to fluff themselves bigger to match the juniors and seniors, he just might.

Long hair was in. Mullets, rock star manes, extensions - even the opposite. Women with buzz cuts and pixie faux hawks. Pleasant little surprises in Hawkins, Indiana, and Billy might finally indulge in that.

Plenty in this town was backwards as all hell. Girls wearing white stockings like it was the fifties. Boys and girls alike clearly letting having learned hair styling from their out-of-date parents. Two girls with beehives sat in his English class.

But it was fine, because there was plenty of present-day styling, and Billy wouldn’t get any shit at home for matching his peers.

Cherry Lane. The most backwards spot in Indiana.

But that’s okay, too, because small town people need occupations. Parties.

A cool senior with teased, black hair walked right up to him and handed him a neon orange sheet of paper. He saw others holding similar invitations all day. 

Party on Friday night. Address, dress code, and everything.

Caught him by surprise, that a dress code would be needed for one of these things, but the invitation just said ~casual attire~ and someone in his Advanced Biology class told him that Tina hosts the best shin digs, often with costume themes.

So he went. The late summer evening was still humid as all hell, making the party split between the massive house and the matching yard a convenient way to start a weekend.

He’d had alcohol before. Enough to know he preferred tequila drinks over vodka and gin, but the safest way to wake up the next day was to just stick to beer. No matter how bitter or sharply carbonated some of it was made.

Maybe that’s why he heard people hollering about King Steve.

Keg stands weren’t original to Hawkins, but Billy preferred them next to a bonfire on a beach. But people were really yelling for this king to do the damn thing - 

“Steve, why are you even here? You graduated in May,” Tina’s voice cut through the din.

“I live down the street! You really think you’re making this much noise without me noticing? And all of you shut the hell up! I’ll do a keg stand the day one of you dip shits can actually beat my record.”

Another surprise:

Steve Harrington.

Billy’s dumb luck had him three years behind, so he couldn’t look at that face in the hallways. Sit behind that head of glossy, bouncy hair in European History. He still lived in town, apparently. Right down the street. Billy asked around and discovered he worked at the mall and attended the community college -

“Heard you been asking about me.”

Billy stared wide-eyed over his beer. He recovered quickly, but not before Steve bounced on the balls of his feet, smug. That hair was really distracting.

These people really gossip about everything.

“I didn’t think anybody actually went by a title like that.”

“I didn’t put it on my resume, that’s for sure.” Steve’s smirk grew into a smile. Christ, the guy really had that Indiana, home town handsome thing to his face.

That was dangerous. Billy’s gut told him so, the way it bruised like someone had poked it. And wanted to be poked again.

“Let’s do this properly. Steve.” He held his hand out.

It wasn’t queer to accept a handshake. “Billy,” he replied.

“Hargrove?”

“Jesus,” he scoffed involuntarily, releasing Steve’s large hand. His weight shifted over his feet. “Everybody knows everything here.”

“Not everything,” Steve said. His voice sounded...reassuring? But the way his eyes blinked...and a darkness slipped behind his eyes like a curtain. Adults liked to call it maturity. Wisdom beyond years. Billy called it ghosts. Everyone had ghosts behind their eyes. But...he had a hard time imagining what ghosts this pretty senior in suburban America would already have.

Then again, Billy knew better.

Except, as the party progressed and the weekend flowed into a new week, Billy really couldn’t imagine what made Steve slouch a little, and what made his eyes fade out of a conversation. Billy probably should have put more attention into how much he’d begun seeking the guy out.

He worked in the ice cream parlor at the mall. The uniform was equal measures ridiculous and hilarious, but his coworker was cool as hell. Robin. Not Steve’s girlfriend, even though they carpooled to work and community college.

Steve’s house proved just as luxurious as Tina’s, with a pool to boot. A house which supposedly stayed empty more often than it hosted its own family. Steve notoriously didn’t host parties, which....seemed uniquely odd.

Apart from Billy visiting the ice cream shop, it seemed Steve’s only other visitors were high school freshman. Which was weird. That’s weird, right? Then again, Billy was ball and chained to eight hours a day, five days a week to high school. There was plenty of time for Steve to be with friends his own age.

Except he showed up at the next party on Halloween.

Tina’s house boasted a surprising number of Hawkins graduated seniors, forcing the party all the way out onto the street.

Just like before, Steve manifested beside Billy, announcing himself with fingertips brushing his slowly growing, weak little mullet. “Growing that out?”

Steve’s already heavy eyelids were heavier with alcohol. Billy had his customary cup of beer, but his cheeks flushed for a different reason. He had to rub the back of his neck to make the tickle stop.

“Yeah. Maybe it’ll touch my shoulders next year.”

“Have you trimmed it?”

Billy frowned at him. He’d heard some things come out of Steve’s mouth that were endearing in a ‘bless his heart’ kind of way, and this was among them. “No, that defeats the point of making it longer.”

Steve shook his head and waved for him to follow. “Come here. I’ll trim it.”

“You’re not cutting my hair,” Billy scoffed. And followed.

Upstairs.

Billy did his best not to look around the living room; to see any eyes apart from the ones he imagined on his backside. He followed at a leisurely pace. Not eager to be with King Harrington anywhere...

The guy walked right into the closed master bedroom. Billy stood outside of it, stunned at his audacity and the fact that no one was inside it already - 

“You coming?”

Billy’s not a coward -

Actually he is. But he’s an overeager sophomore with a dangerous crush even more.

Steve dug through the master bathroom’s drawers until he found a pair of scissors in their own case. “Sit on the tub.”

By tub, he meant jacuzzi edge. Billy perched. Steve gripped his shoulder to step into the tub with a comb that smelled of foreign hair product and aftershave. Billy’s nose wrinkled. “Wash that first.”

Then he jumped at the tub faucet turning on right beside his ass. Steve laughed. “Chill out. I’m washing it.”

Billy settled with a disgruntled shake of his head. “My hair is curly. You’re not supposed to brush it at all.”

“You’re in the hands of The Hair Harrington, sweetheart. Just relax.”

His shoulders sagged right underneath the weight of sweetheart.

I’m so screwed - 

Of all people to show up in the doorway, Robin from Scoops showed up with an energy that insinuated more sobriety than the guy wielding scissors.

Her mouth hung open like she had come with something to say, but then she sputtered through laughter. “Oh shit. Are you consenting to this?”

Billy rolled his eyes. “If he cuts my ear, I’m beating his ass.”

“I’d appreciate more faith from you, Buckley. I cut your bangs for you.”

Billy chirped, “Really?” admittedly feeling a bit better.

Steve intercepted with the order, “Are you gonna play music or what? I’m so tired of Tina’s music.”

That’s how Billy wound up in a bathroom with college freshmen trimming his ends and styling his hair while Steve and Robin shout-sang to Whitney Houston.

It was great.

Steve curled the top of his hair so he had ringlets falling over his bold brows. Steve, who had his hands all over Billy’s head until he washed the hair down the drain and filled the tub for a bubble bath. Billy scrutinized himself with a handheld mirror until Steve wrapped his arms around him and they tumbled backward into the wet landing.

Tina was hardly pleased to find the three of them making a mess of the jacuzzi, but she sassed a quick thank you for warding off people trying to fuck in her parents’ bed. Billy didn’t have words; only laughter at Robin putting her hair into a wet mohawk and Steve piling bubbles onto his head.

Steve insisted they go back to his house afterward. “It’s November and we’re soaked. Your car will be fine. I can come back and park it in my driveway if you’re that worried.”

That wasn’t the problem.

“It’s fine that your parents are never home, but mine will only recently lifted my curfew for good behavior.”

Somehow, he convinced Steve and Robin to drive him back to his house, at the expense of letting them change at Steve’s first. Billy had his eyes on a beautiful Camaro and was just a few more months of allowance and part time jobs away from having her.

It was his first time in Steve’s house. He had to admit, he preferred Tina’s layout and decor, but he got to wander around. He saw Robin use one of the guest rooms. He saw Steve’s....incredibly boring room. And said as much.

“A prison cell has more personality.”

Steve laughed. “Yeah, you’re right. Are you ready to go?”

It wasn’t until Billy lay in his own bed that those words tumbled through his brain. His fingertips moved through his still-styled hair. It felt better with those dead ends gone. Steve did a good job. Steve liked Whitney Houston and Blondie and a little of everything, really. Steve cared about his appearance enough to be a self-taught stylist.

Steve didn’t have a lot of furniture in his room. Clutter on the dresser and desk, sure, but all of it monochrome or neutral colors. Steve who had an old BMW, house, and surely a bank account to match, but didn’t buy anything in excess. Like he wasn’t allowed to, or something. Billy indulged every scent he got on things he wanted, but Steve didn’t.

Steve had a nailed bat in his trunk. Billy heard it rolling around on their way back to his house, and finally bent over to look under the seats and saw it.

Steve was a walking contradiction. A contradiction who smelled good but didn’t say much when Billy and Robin talked about history. Who started giving Billy free ice cream but never asked about Billy’s stepsister. Who gave Billy rides and gave him the hookup to the high-paying neighbors of Loch Nora for mowed lawns and dogs walked.

Steve helped him get his car sooner than he would’ve otherwise but didn’t ask for anything in return.

Steve, who was always available for a good time, but looked sad when left with his thoughts.

Billy didn’t take well to not being the center of attention. He’d grown up with an interrogation lamp over his head, and sought positive interaction everywhere else. He got so much of it from Steve, that the occasions where Steve bumped against him...refused him, or ignored him, or reminded Billy that he was a rinky dink sophomore lit a match in his belly. And he’d swallowed gasoline for too much of his life.

“That’s something a virgin says.”

Billy couldn’t even remember what he’d just said. He was already, instantly, seeing the glow of embers on the fringe of his vision. “Excuse me?”

Steve shrugged as he got up from his couch. “It’s whatever. It’s fine. Just showing your hand, is all.”

Billy couldn’t believe it. Steve was either the biggest idiot in Hawkins - which he knew wasn’t true considering there was a real cesspool that smoked underneath the bleachers - or he was so far in denial that Billy had a whole new reason to be pissed.

An involuntary sound left Steve when Billy came up behind him and pushed him against the wall underneath the stairs.

“You don’t know anything about me.”

Billy wasn’t some cute sophomore. He stood toe to toe with Steve, barely an inch shorter. If this is what it took for Steve to realize that, fine.

To realize that Billy wasn’t some teenager scared shitless of a girls’ bra -

Steve regained his footing, and closed the distance between their mouths. It was small, soft, and brief. Rationality should have made Billy step away. Punch him, maybe. But Billy wasn’t rational. His shock held him statuesque, barely breathing while Steve moved a hand to cradle the side of his head and neck -

A sound left Billy this time, as Steve angled his mouth over Billy’s. Where he learned Billy was scared, so scared of Steve. His body dashed rationality against the wall and kissed him back tentatively, and then earnestly, just trying to keep up until Steve’s other hand framed him in. As Steve pushed against him until Billy walked backwards to have himself pressed against the wall.

He felt drunk as his hands let go of Steve’s shirt to hold onto the curvature of his ribs. He panted while Steve kissed his throat and washed Billy’s senses with his warm, sweet fragrance; his hair brushing Billy’s face and inspiring him to turn his face into Steve’s scalp. Inhale him into his lungs.

Billy didn’t know what game they were playing. But Steve outplayed him.

[kojinnie]

Why you should NOT date AOT boys... (2)

I advised you but you still didn’t listen just because your fave was not on the first part. So hereby I present to you, reasons why these boys will only give you headache, part two!

Enjoy my lovelies, and stop hurting yourself with these men!

Regards,

Your ever-so-concerned friend, Kojin.

erwin - zeke - jean - connie

part one here (levi - eren - armin - reiner)

— ERWIN

This is not gonna be easy. You’re dealing with a man who has received multitude of achievements and recognition for being who he is and for doing things his own way, so obviously he is at that point in his life where he’s very comfortable in being who he already is. It’s all for a reason though, for Erwin oozes a certain kind of authority that is justified by his sharp thinking and years of experience. He is a self-made man and his success was the work of nobody but his own doing. So obviously, he has this uncanny self-assurance that is not easy to be dissuaded. He is ”The Man” character you hear about in pop songs and movies, and alike to dating Levi, the idea of being with Erwin gives you a sense of pride, you’ll be the most flattered whenever you hear people look at you with certain kind of acknowledgment, “Oh, that’s the one Erwin chooses.”

If you have problem with your self-esteem or you constantly doubt yourself, being with Erwin –especially when you have an established relationship— can really encourage you, to make you realize that there is a great thing in you, that even someone with the caliber of Erwin Smith can see. However, this may also lead to a bad thing because little by little, whether you realize it or not, your identity will be blurred with the constant presence of Erwin around you, simply because he has that magnificence in him that lures the limelight in, and your name will only be left as a prop to better dress the mannequin. This is a man who hardly ever hears “no” in his life, although he will never be violent or do things against your wish, it feels natural for him to always have a say in whatever you do. From the way you dress, your career trajectory, to decision for everyday chore. You would often feel as if you have no room to grow on your own because everything is decided by Erwin, where your opinion is dismissed. The most infuriating aspect of Erwin is that he will do all the aforementioned in such a sweet way. Caressing your cheek, patting your head softly before condescendingly says things like: “Honey, if you’ve seen what I’ve seen, you’ll understand. So for now, let’s just go with [insert his decision], okay?”

The ideal relationship for you and Erwin is if you have been with him since the get-go, before he made a name for himself. The good thing about Erwin is that he values nurture and he will show the utmost gratitude to whomever stood by him since day one. He will flaunt you, mention your name in every awarding speech, praise your perseverance for staying with him while actively making your own mark in your job. Basically, to survive a healthy and thriving romantic relationship with Erwin, you gotta see the quality in him before all the flashy titles, and you gotta be at similar degree of excellence with him. You gotta have his respect, you gotta make a name for yourself, only then he will listen to you and treat you as equal. So if you are still unsure about yourself, and you need constant reassurance about your role in this world, don’t go for Erwin, it will only exacerbate your self-doubt.

— ZEKE

Good god, this man. Where do I start? Okay, so you’re dealing with someone similar to Erwin, who enjoys a point in his life where his professional excellence has been widely established, he even has attained an almost mythical status. Remember how much the Warriors look up to him, saying things like “The enemies are no match to Zeke”? That’s basically his everyday life, and he has gotten so used to hearing that drilled into his ears for years.

For sure, he has a solid self-assurance; he knows what he wants, he knows how to get it, and anyone’s opinion holds very little value to him. But unlike Erwin, Zeke has grown sick of the compliment and has come to think that people are just licking his ass. This is because he made his success with little to no help from anyone else, and he has seen how differently people treated him back when he was just a nameless guy, compared to now, where he has made a name for himself. This experience, created a contradiction in his personality: One, the confident and self-assured Zeke, where he realizes that he’s smarter than most people, and; Two, the self-doubting Zeke, thinking that he is deemed as smart just because everyone comparable to him is stupid. He fears that it’s only until he meets someone smarter than him, before people finally realize that he’s a fraud. He’s the type to spew seemingly condescending remarks in a very casual way, like whenever someone comes to him in an awe and asks how does he do the things he does, he will just shrug it off and say, “I don’t know why everyone’s making a big deal out of that. It’s so easy.” When actually it’s just him, displaying his incomprehension on what make people think that he’s amazing when he hardly sees it.

Zeke leads a life where he thinks he can do whatever he wants, since he does not have a care in the world for anyone’s opinion and validation. This is because Zeke thinks either they are unworthy of his attention, or any person who has ever shown any interest towards him was only after something for themselves. In his early life, Zeke gets used a lot by people he trusted, and so this resulted in him not believing that someone would come to him and truly care for him with no pretense or hidden motives. The idea that he can be loved unconditionally is incredibly foreign, if not impossible to him. And this is the truth about him that he does not like to admit.

This is a person whose motto is to “enjoy things” because the enjoyment of things keeps him distracted from the disappointment he holds against people. So naturally, he does not like sentimental attachment, let alone committed relationship. What Zeke needs is just someone that he can ring up casually (and only occasionally because he’s always kept up with a lot of his professional endeavors), and spoil him with nearly childish affection. He likes to come home to someone who does not see him as this heroic figure that everybody sees, and rather just a careless kid who collects baseball cards with no active parent figure. He likes the cuddles, the kisses, the strokes, the lazy mornings where you pamper him like a demanding baby, because he never gets to experience such candid loving from his childhood, for he had to fend for himself since very young.

He likes to call you up late at night, with a sulk in his voice, “Baby can I come over…?” for you to act annoyed and reluctantly say yes to him. He likes that. He’s corny like that. But once he’s out the door, don’t expect him to text his whereabout or make your name known to the world, because he cannot afford such dire attachment. He’s as free as the bird, and after all, caging him into a committal relationship only justifies his belief that someone would only love him because they’re after something.

— JEAN

Jean is tenacity personified. He wasn’t born talented or lucky enough to have special heritage runs in his blood, he is flawed with a lot of shortcomings, but what makes him stands out is his capability to persevere in the eyes of adversity. To keep on trying although he does not pass the initial mark, and that’s exactly what makes him special. In dating Jean, you will never run out of things to do or talk about, because Jean will always try to make the best out of every situation with his resourcefulness. It’s very nourishing to see someone make such a big effort for you, and if you lack assurance that someone would go extra miles for you, then seeing Jean breaks his back trying to catch your smile is such a sight that you will cherish for a long time.

However, deep inside, Jean is a very exhausted man. He often feels like he is at the end of his wit trying to make everything works. He is deeply wearied by having to be at his top game every minute to compete, and fears that if his grasp slips even just a little, he will quickly fall behind everyone. This will result in Jean being torn apart between work and you, for he always has the urge to put tenfold effort to match others’ casual effort. So expect a lot of calls unanswered and rescheduled date nights during the weekdays. Although he feels extremely regretful with this condition, he also believes that there is nothing he can do, for he thinks he was born unfortunate and this is the effort he has to make due in order to catch up with the others.

All this unhealthy sense of urgency from always having the need to compete often sends Jean into a state of paranoia. He fears that people may team up against him, or that he’s being left out. It’s really frustrating to see Jean having the need to reply to a stupid meme Eren sends at 4 AM while getting high, just because Jean fears that if he does not reply immediately, he will wake up the next day with people already talking about the things he missed. He is always on guard, and as much as he tries to give in to his relationship with you, sometimes you would feel like his mind is not at home. His mind is out there wondering whether he will ever make a name for himself without being compared to people who exerts considerably less effort than him.

Being with Jean, you gotta understand where his fear lies, and you gotta be very calm when dealing with all of his paranoid urges. Whenever he’s not home because he overworks himself, don’t bombard him with calls and text messages, just give him time and welcome him home with warmth and a sense of ease. Be the person where he puts his hair down after a whole day of gruesome work. Jean needs a lot of validation especially from the person he loves (and he feels guilty towards for seemingly neglecting you over work), all he needs to hear is just “You did well today”, and he would be more than thankful. Make time as well to give him little surprise, to make him realizes that you are the one place he does not need to compete with anyone else for you are his home. When it comes to Jean, it’s about give and take, he doesn’t do well with a diva who demands attention 24/7, nor he does well with someone who is seemingly way over his league, for it will worsen his insecurity.

Point is, Jean is an amazing man, guys, I couldn’t really point out why you should NOT date him, because in fact, you SHOULD date him. Being with him is a learning curve, not only for you but also for him, to understand that in a relationship not only that you gotta love, but also to compromise.

— CONNIE

Connie, oh Connie. We all love Connie, he’s the guy who would complete a picture, a party is a bore without the sight of him, we all just love us some Connie, but often to his expense. People love Connie because he is outgoing, humble, and has this salt-of-the-earth persona, but more often than not, people also use him as a comedic relief, and although at first, he enjoys it because he would like the idea that people look forward to him, sometimes it also takes a toll in him, it makes Connie wonder whether he will ever be fit for bigger purpose other than someone else’s humor.

Connie thrives in being helpful to other people, he believes being of service is his greatest merit and thus he never complains whenever someone asks him to do something, nor does he ever dislike doing things for other people. But often he wonders even after all the great services he has done to other people, why haven’t people seen him as more than just a comedic relief? Why can’t he be the hero of a story, instead of just the people’s favorite side character? This thought lingers a lot in his mind, and if he does not find a way to let it out somehow, this may grow into a bitterness for he feels used.

Make no mistake though, Connie does not yearn to have the limelight on his own, he is content with his position, all he needs is a bit of credit and affirmation that he is as important his other peers. That he is not overlooked nor that he is expendable. Without this, Connie might grow to become resentful of people as he thinks they will only use him to their advantages. He will get easily jealous or at high alert, just because you passingly joke about Jean being handsome with his new haircut. He may go into that rabbit hole of anxiety, waiting until the day when you finally leave him for being mediocre and opt for his more attractive friend.

When this side of him comes out, initially he will be overtly self-deprecating. Masking it as a joke just to fish a reaction from you. If you laugh along, not knowing that it was a test, he will be sure that you are just using him and it won’t be long until you depart for someone with more load than him. Once he sets his mind, he can be quite vindictive to you, casually assuming you of the worst while trying to pass it as a joke. When this side of Connie comes out, the last thing you should do is to get riled up. Connie is not being rational, so you gotta be the adult here unfortunately. You gotta shower him with a lot of affection in the form of services like he’s always do to people around him, and slowly work your way to the topic you are meaning to ask. Connie might be alluding the question for a while, until he finally comes clean that he was jealous and did not know how to properly address this feeling.

Being with Connie comes with the responsibility of making a home for him where finally he gets to be the center attention. He is not a narcissist, so he does not want everything to center around him. All he wanna be is to be seen, in which every effort he has made to the people he loves are being outwardly recognized and thanked for. Little things would really make Connie happy, like posting a lot of photos with him on your social media, or arranging surprise birthday party with his co-workers where he can finally experience what it feels like to be the likes of Eren or Jean.

Thank you guys for all the likes, reblogs and comments - YOU ALL MAKE MY DAY. I was on the verge of being sure that no one would like things I write, but this.. This... (wails in telenovela style). I thank you and I wish you a great week ahead!

Guys for real if you still simp these guys even after this fair warning then I have no choice but to give you a personalized reason on why you should not date your fave AOT characters! 

> [CLOSED] Twisted Match-Up!  Send me three worst traits of yours + your AOT fave character and I’ll make you a short scenario on how shitty your relationship would be with them.  Fire away here!

[liam-93-productions]

This weekend it’s the UK’s biggest event on the entertainment calendar, with the 74th EE British Academy of Film and Television Awards taking place at the Albert Hall with guests and nominees attending virtually for the first time, thanks to Covid-19. And while the awards promise to be as exciting as possible in these unprecedented times, on Sunday night we will also be treated to another exciting world-first in the form of Liam Payne being beamed into houses up and down the country while performing for the opening of the ceremony.

Yup, if you’ve ever fancied the former One Direction crooner serenading you at the end of your bed, on Sunday you can make your dreams a reality – or augmented reality – as Liam has joined forces with the EE network to create a 3D avatar hologram of himself that can be beamed through the app ‘The Round’ (available on any mobile device) as he performs at the Albert Hall. Super fans can also get to experience the avatar in their homes, or on-the-go, ahead of the performance, if they tune in via the app at 6.45pm, 15 minutes before the hologram joins real Liam on stage to perform.

GLAMOUR caught up with Liam to discuss this sci-fi sounding excitement as well as hear how the past year has treated him. In a wide-ranging chat with the ever-charming Liam, we covered all things from the struggles of lockdown and coping with his mental health to his former bandmates, burgeoning acting career, new music (...).

Is the fact that you're performing at the BAFTAs a sign that your acting career is on the rise?

I've done a lot of auditions, a lot of tapes. The thing about acting somebody told me, it’s very much like: are you right for the part and is the part right for you? I think it takes a lot of talent, luck and judgment going into acting to actually get into a job. I mean, hat's off to anybody who does it because it's a long process. I seem to get through to like the final five or final three people for every role and then not quite get it. Which is frustrating but, you know, that’s how it goes. I've had a fair few auditions and I was lucky enough to get into the final five again for one audition that I got to meet Steven Spielberg [a couple of years ago] on my 25th birthday which was quite amazing. But it's been fairly slow through the pandemic obviously.

And what about music? Have you been writing anything, or even been in the studio?

I'm going to the studio later on today actually, to record something for the first time in a while. Which is quite weird to be traveling back into London to go into work. I've been doing some stuff from home as well, which has been quite interesting. Zoom sessions don't really work out all that well, it's very difficult. I'm sure a lot of musicians will agree. So, it's been kind of hard to work properly during this half of the pandemic. The other first half of the pandemic, I just did these live shows, which was really amazing to play live and do them online, which was kind of strange... It's been difficult in terms of the creative process for me.

The past year has been challenging for absolutely everyone, no matter their circumstances. How has it affected you on a personal and a professional level?

In the first half of it, I was so busy that I didn't really notice it as much, except for having to do a lot of stuff myself without crew and learning to do hair and makeup was kind of a weird experience. But then this second half, I stopped working and I had a full, proper month off [and that was] really hard. And it was all a bit dark for me for a little bit and I'm sure many people experienced it. Just not being able to go anywhere, not be able to do anything. It really, really hit home. And I just found myself sat in the same place day in, day out. And I was like, okay, I really do not know what to do with myself.

You’ve bravely spoken about struggling with your mental health in the past, and you say now that you did go into a bit of a dark place recently, how have you coped with that?

I think it's an ongoing experience. For me, learning to relax has always been quite a hard thing to do because I feel like if I'm not moving forward, then I must be going backwards. And I think that's something that I've always struggled with. So, in a way it's kind of a blessing in disguise, as this has all kind of taught me to relax a little bit more. And to not be so worried about that, like the world is not going to fall over if I don't do something today. So, it's been nice in that respect. But I think for a lot of people it's difficult, and I definitely took for granted how much I miss my family. I'm used to being away from home, I'm used to being abroad and not seeing very much of them. But I'd always see them at a show or at something once a year. And then now that that's all been taken away, it's been a lot to not see my family and realise how much they actually ground me.

So, what have you found helpful or supportive during the past year? Have you turned to anything to get you through these dark times?

Friends that are there for you... [talking to] one of my managers that I'm quite close with. I think a lot of guys struggle to talk about what the hell is going on a lot of the time. And for me and him, actually we're quite heart on our sleeves sort of people, so we talk a lot about different things. But I think if I didn't have that, someone to share that with, I think I would have struggled a hell of a lot more.

Like a mental health mate?

I mean, we literally talk about everything. We're probably too honest with each other! But I think it's important that everybody has that person. I'll be honest, at the start of this, drinking definitely became a lot more of a thing because there just didn't seem to be any boundaries. I wouldn't say I drank too much, I'd say I drank too often. Just through the boredom, I guess. A lot of people were going through that though I think - there was so many funny, great memes about it I saw friends of mine put up. But it can be quite dark at times. I think the only thing that's really helped me through that is just learning to work out again and learning to put boundaries in for myself in terms of what food I'm eating. As a pop star, I think you're always quite weight conscious. My job has always been about having to work out, doing underwear modelling and all that sort of thing, it makes you quite body conscious at times. It was nice to be able to just sit and eat pizza and chocolate, I really enjoyed that. But getting myself back into the habit of working out and then having a cheat day put in place, so that there was more boundaries in line, I think has definitely helped me.

I'm quite fortunate that I don't put a stack of weight on, although I have gone up rather a lot in size over this time. But I think it was more about routine for me than anything. And I always say, having a small victory before you get into bed at night time. Or life just gets depressing. Whether that small victory is making sure you've spoken to a family member, you've worked out, or whether you did learn to do something today, just something small. There's one task that you literally can't be arsed with, you should get done just on the day, so that you feel good about yourself when you get into bed.

That's so important. So, do you almost have a checklist before you go to bed?

I think as long as I make the gym and I've done that bit and I've taken care of my needs, just cooked some nice food. That's mainly it for me, really. And then I feel good about it. (...)

(...)

Moving on to social media, you've obviously got such a massively positive fan base, but how do you cope with the negative side of social media and the impact that can have on your mental health?

I struggled with it for a long time. I argued with people. I was aggressive on their points trying to fight my own side. And I think for some people you are talking to a brick wall, you will not win and there's no point trying. And also, the more you talk about it, the worse it gets. So, I just shut up and put up a lot of the time. I think it's the Queen that says, "never complain or never explain." And that's something I think myself I do live by because it's just like, with some people it gets worse having the argument and trying to explain yourself. But all of it, it's like five minutes of your life for somebody who doesn't know you, it's just a bit pointless.

You have so much intense public scrutiny on you all the time, how do you navigate keeping something back for yourself, and how have you managed to maintain that sense of privacy over the years?

I think this has been one of my biggest struggles this whole time. Because, I'm very much a heart on the sleeve sort of person. I didn't actually realize this for a long time, but I often give a little bit too much away…But it's definitely a difficult one to flick the two people apart. So that you're on stage, you're a certain type of person, and at home you're a certain type of person. That's always something I've really struggled with.

And you've been famous since the age of 16. How did you manage growing up in that sort of public glare?

Never did! [laughs] My friend was [recently] talking about how he’s got a teenage son that he was really struggling with at the moment. And I was thinking, "oh my God, imagine how much people would have struggled having five teenagers, rowdy boys in a band. It must've been terrible, there's no getting through to them!" And for a while, it probably was. I think we all go through that awkward teen phase where you're finding yourself. And most of us, we get to get away with it. And they're funny family photos for later on; here was your emo phase or whatever you went through! And for us, we never got away with being awkward or annoying at points. It was kind of out there for everyone to see; the awful haircuts and we’re talking terrible clothes, it was all out there.

What has your career taught you about the idea of success and the idea of failure?

I think it's taught me lots about how you would measure success. I came from a family that weren't very well off. We didn't have a lot. My dad was in debt actually when I started. So, success for me always meant a monetary thing to start off with. But then as I got older, I realized I don't really buy all that much. I don't really spend a hell of a lot of money. So, it can't be about a money sort of thing. And it's more now become more about happiness and experiences. And the one thing I always say about my job, no matter what, and everybody gets annoyed at their job sometimes, it is what it is. But for me, at least I get to put a smile on someone's face.

Yes, you do! And what has it taught you about failure?

That's a really good question. It’s taught me I think that perseverance will always prevail in that sense. Because it doesn't always go exactly to plan. We were really lucky when we came up, we absolutely skyrocketed. And then, it's been hard to follow that ever since. But you know, measuring a failure as well. What is a failure? And people will look at this and, for us sometimes getting a 100,000,000 streams isn't quite what we aim for, but it's still 100,000,000 streams….you have to kind of get a hold of yourself. Everything is about perspective at the end of the day, isn't it? That was something I struggled with for a long time, because of how well it went [for the band.]

So you had such high expectations for everything?

Yeah. And it's like, time to give that a break really. And Louis from my band has always been quite great to sit with me and talk with me about stuff. And if I'm feeling a certain way. We've been quite good with each other, actually in that respect and helping each other out, which has been nice.

And finally, if you could sit down with the Liam who was starting out in One Direction in 2010, what advice would you have for him?

I think just have more fun and relax a little bit. I think I was a very serious child, one of those man-childs, I was a man in a child's body pretty early on. And I think I would have avoided that stage, to be honest with you. To enter One Direction as that difficult, because it just meant that I got completely a different job to everybody else.

You were the grown up one?

That was it. And it was boring. I should have just larked around and thrown plates out the window and stuff!

More rock and roll?

Well, I mean at the start, and then later on a bit less rock and roll [laughing.]

Well, thank you so much, Liam. And we look forward to seeing your performance on Sunday at the BAFTAs.

I'll see you wherever you want me in your house, I guess.

Liam Payne is performing an exclusive EE BAFTA AR real-time music performance, ahead of his 5G-powered opening show at the 2021 EE BAFTA Film Awards. Download ‘The Round’ app to enjoy the live AR experience through your mobile phone, wherever you are, this Sunday 11th April 2021 at 18:45pm BST.

[omniscientwreck]

Some of the best things to come out of me and my roommate's high school AU conversation:

- Caleb is a quiet nerd who spends most of high school denying party invitations to study, he's taking AP classes and doing university prep constantly

- Beau skipped from grade 4 to 6, she's the student who's involved in so many things nobody has any idea when she sleeps

- Veth is the single meanest person in the school except for to Caleb and this nerd Yeza who she met because they were lab partners in AP chemistry

- Mollymauk has been at the school for forever, he's failed every single class not because he isn't smart but just because he can't be in the right place at the right time. When he has English he's hanging out in the band room but when he has art he's in History class.

- Essek Thelyss plays clarinet and oboe. He listens to Baroque music and is incredibly pretentious about the superiority of both JS and CPE Bach to any Romantic era composer. He also likes New Wave. He does have a secret playlist on Spotify full of Carly Rae Jepsen, Lady Gaga, and Brittney Spears.

- Fjord is on the football team and nobody knows why, least of all him. He tries out for the school musical as a joke in the 11th grade and finds out he's actually really good at singing and enjoys it.

- Caduceus Clay graduated a few years ago but he comes back to visit teachers and the Nein who he made friends with often. If an adult is ever needed the Nein call him and he's always there within 5 minutes

- Yasha had a rough time with puberty and went through a phase where she was very angry and reclusive and alienated herself from her previous friends. Now that she's found the Nein she's more outgoing and the sweetest person you'll ever meet. She walks absolutely everywhere and somehow always arrives before everyone else.

- Jester Lavorre is everyone's friend it doesn't matter who you are she probably knows your name and at least one thing about you. She's the stereotypical art student who seems to be friends with the art teacher but it's not at all inappropriate. She's a master of bathroom graffiti and even though everyone knows it's her she's never been caught.

- When they talk about the dangers of weed in health class the teacher is going through slang terms for it, one of which is Uk'otoa which becomes a meme with the class.

- Nobody has ever seen Mollymauk Tealeaf arrive to a party. When the energy shifts from 'nobody is drunk and everyone's a little awkward' to 'we've had a couple drinks and everyone is having a great time' you'll know he's there. You just turn around and he'll wave at you from another conversation he's having.

- When Caleb finally does start going to parties you can almost always find him arguing with Yussa over some matter of academia. It ends with them in the backyard doing dangerous magical stunts and getting hurt. Essek sometimes tries to referee but often gets sucked into the showboating.

- Whenever there's a bake sale Yasha and Jester collaborate on dozens of different desserts and they always sell out immediately.

- Beauregard plays auxillary percussion in band because playing only one instrument isn't enough for her brain.

- Mollymauk can technically drive and he does frequently, his car is always inches from a breakdown and he frequently gets distracted. Fjord is a great driver and owns a truck for no discernable reason. If Caleb ends up driving he usually dissociates into the middle distance, not dangerous just not as fun.

- Pumat Sol is the shops teacher that everybody loves. Kids will take shops specifically to hang out with him and make cool shit.

- Beauregard frequently gets in trouble for calling teachers fascists in class and Essek always agrees with her.

- If Beau and Essek are in an English class together they will often overtake the class with an argument. Essek reading into gay subtext, Beau reading into capitalism critique subtext, and Caleb trying to explain why they're both right. The Great Gatsby was a nightmare.

- Beau and Yasha spend ages flirting before finally making out at a party at which neither are drunk. They then go on to found the queer students club and are elected prom queens.

- One time Caleb expresses mild interest in learning a woodwind instruments and joining band. Essek adjusts his schedule to be five minutes late leaving class in case Caleb ever takes him up on his offer to teach him.

- Fjord and Veth are ruthlessly cruel to each other and anyone who doesn't know them would think they hated each other. However, there's a theatre kid named Marius Lepual who they both despise and frequently team up against.

- Molly and Essek run the school's rumor mill. They do a good job of telling Jester or Beth exactly the right tidbit of information to have things blown wildly out of proportion. By the end of any given week there are 5 different versions of the same rumor spreading and nobody knows what's true.

- Jester decides the group chat names.

- One time Yussa and Caleb end up making out at a party when Essek isn't there. He gets jealous and doesn't speak with either of them for two weeks.

- Jester's parents are the ones who will buy the alcohol as long as they promise to drink at home or call them if anything goes wrong.

- Astrid and Eadwulf have been Caleb's friends from middle school. They abruptly transfer to a different school across the city during grade 11 and Caleb is eventually adopted by Jester and Veth and inducted to the Nein after Jester dances with him at a school dance because he's sitting all by himself.

- Molly's catchphrase is 'i have a guy' and he can get anything. Your car ran out of gas at 3am and no stations are open? He'll be there in 15 minutes with a jerry can. You need a paper for 12th grade English on Catcher in the Rye? Give him a day.

- Mario Kart tournaments always devolve into Veth and one other member. Controllers have been thrown and friendships nearly ruined over blue shells.

- The year the Nein graduate the staff are so worried about their senior prank that they nearly cancel class. The prank doesn't happen and they're lulled into a false sense of security until the next fall when they retroactively pull off the most elaborate prank in the schools history.

- When the rest of the Nein are in the 11th grade Molly just fucks off for a year. None of them know where he went, they keep receiving oddly nondescript postcards telling them he's fine and having a blast. When he returns the next summer all he says when they ask where he was is "don't worry about it"

[ahundredtimesover]

I Would’ve Stayed (FNTO 4)

Any mess we had to deal with was way more worth it than any clarity without you. 

Pairing: Jungkook x (f.) Reader

Genre/Tags: strangers to friends to lovers, popstar/idol!jk, fluff, angst, smut; this is a dialogue-heavy series so read if you’re into that! 

Warnings: foul language, heavy drinking, lots of kissing, penetrative and oral sex (not too explicit; a condom is thrown in there somewhere but bbs please be safe! and also, I tried) (18+)

Word count: ~8,000

Series summary: You meet pop star/idol Jeon Jungkook at the cafe, you get close, and as Hyejin says, you’re like friends with benefits without the sex. But you’re bad at feelings and so is he.

series masterlist

A/N: Here it is! OC hates confrontation so guess what happens - that! Listen to Yours by Raiden x Chanyeol ft. LeeHi & Changmo and Moon, 12:04 AM by Offonoff.

#

It’s been 3 days and Jungkook still hasn’t reached out. 

You would have, but somehow that time he completely ignored you for a whole week before he left still plays in your head and has made you quite traumatized, if you’re being honest. 

Add to that, you recall how you both left things that day. You don’t know how he was doing in the 2 months he was away. Maybe he just got ahead of himself and realized he didn’t really feel that way about you, maybe he’s still angry. Maybe, and this scares you the most, he realized he’s better off and doesn’t want anything to do with you anymore - too much crazy, you think.

None of the guys have reached out to you too since they’ve arrived aside from Jimin’s message, perhaps too sorry to even say anything. 

You’ve followed the same routine you’ve had the past 2 months - cafe check-in before and after your actual job, weekends for exercise and chores and whatever work you can sneak in, and Saturday nights with your friends. You even volunteered to babysit your cousin’s kids for 2 weekends and accompanied Jaehyun to the orphanage for the bi-annual party he throws for the kids just to keep yourself preoccupied. 

It feels so different without Jungkook. Even when he was away then, you were always video calling for at least a minute, and sending each other funny videos or memes to keep the connection, that string that neither of you wanted to break. How you both managed without each other these past months is surprising, but that's just made it clear to you, more than anything else, that you truly want him to be part of your life, and you, in his, in whatever way he’d have you.

But his radio silence is once again driving you insane. You keep typing then deleting whatever message you thought to send him. 

You: Hey, I heard you’re back. How was the tour?

You: Hi, Kook. I’m so sorry again. I was wondering if we could catch up?

You: Omg help, my neighbor got another cat! 

You: Can’t wait for the final concert! Excited to watch you guys.

But nope, you’d deleted them as fast as you’d typed them. You know you were at fault somehow; you’ve accepted that you could’ve done something like talk to him at the first sign of a problem, but you always hated confrontations and you weren’t sure if you were ready for that with him. 

More than anything, though, you want him to be the one to reach out this time. Not just because he said those hurtful things to you before he left, but also because you want to know if he still feels whatever it was he said he feels - or felt - for you before he left. 

You let your mind make up reasons. Maybe he’s still tired. Maybe he’s still catching up on sleep and isn’t in his right mind yet to talk to you. Maybe they got caught up with more work when they got back. All these maybes are sending you in a whirlwind of emotions again, and you’re trying so badly to get out of your head and just settle things once and for all.

#

It’s finally Friday and you’re zoning out at work before your phone’s incessant ringing breaks through your thoughts. 

Jieun is on the other line, convincing you to go to The Third tonight because a DJ friend of hers is spinning. She misses you, she says. You don’t have the heart to tell her that you don’t feel like going out and being around people, but she pleads. The guys will be there too, she excitedly shares. She charmed her way into having them accept her invite after they’d met up at a dinner party earlier in the week.

“Dinner party?” You ask. 

“Yeah, remember Yoonah? I wrote some music for her. She had a birthday party last Tuesday,” Jieun innocently says. 

Of course you remember. She’s one of the pop stars that Jungkook has been linked with countless times. He never dismisses it though when you’d ask. He just always says they’re close and enjoy spending time together when they can.

You feel your heart break a little, thinking of what his appearance at her birthday party could mean. You’d done yourself a favor and stayed away from social media so you don’t know if there are new pictures of them circulating in the web. 

But you do like to torture yourself. As Jieun went on about her schedule for the rest of her stay, you checked online for any photos of the two to ease - or worsen - your panicking brain and speeding heart. 

Yep, there they are. Some public photos of them laughing at the party, Yoonah so stunning in her red dress and Jungkook looking incredibly gorgeous in his dark blue suit. You scroll further down to look at the same photos and people screaming at how good they look together and wait, are those photos outside of a cafe? 

Eyes wide, your heart quickens even more as you type “Jungkook Yoonah cafe” on the search bar because really, you’d been torturing yourself these past months too, why stop now?

They seem like unofficial photos, judging from the quality, but you can’t be mistaken that it’s him - you know that sweatshirt because it’s yours; the few clear photos show the clay mark on the left side of the clothing that you haven’t been able to remove. What kind of jerk wears another girl’s clothes when he’s out on a date with another?

You’re fuming. So much for making excuses on his behalf that he’s tired or busy. Well, he was busy, alright. You saw in the news that Yoonah was in the U.S. too for some photo shoots; some tweets were saying she was at one of the shows. Guess Jungkook was preoccupied in those 2 months too, you think to yourself. 

“Y/N, you in there?” Jieun asks on the other end.

“Yeah, yeah sorry. What were you saying?”

“I said a lot… but I just wanted to know if you’re game for tonight?” She asks, excitement laced in her voice. It has been awhile since you’ve gone out to party with her anyway.

“Sure, I’ll be there.” You force the excitement out of you.

“Great! Tell your friends. Can’t wait to see you!” She hangs up, and you’re still fuming.

Fuck to feeling sorry for yourself. Fuck to being a responsible adult. And fuck to saying no to hook-ups. You were never one for drinking her problems away and finding a temporary fix in another’s body and the pleasure they could give but that’s exactly what you’re gonna do tonight. 

Jungkook has made you do and feel things you’d never done or felt before anyway, and you aren’t gonna stop now.

You wait until 6PM before heading home and fixing up. You and your friends go to a nice restaurant for dinner, a change of scenery from your usual Saturday night take outs, before finally heading to The Third for a night you hopefully won’t regret.

#

You and your friends arrive at the bar at 10PM, Jaehyun the designated caretaker of everybody (more like of you, though, since you’re the only one with a plan). 

You do the mandatory socializing, especially with Jiuen, and before you know it, you’re on your 5th shot of tequila, sips of other people’s beer or cocktail in between, and suddenly, a hand is pulling at yours and an unfamiliar voice is asking you to dance. 

He’s funny and has well-manicured and soft hands. You can’t tell the color of his eyes or the shape of his nose or if he has plump or thin or chapped lips. He seems to have nice hair, though.

He says he’s a little awkward but he was beside you at the bar and heard you laughing and thought it was the nicest sounding laugh he’s ever heard. He apologizes for sounding sappy and a creep, but he thought he could at least ask you to dance, confident in at least that since he used to dance in college. 

He asks if he could put his hand on your waist and you consent. There were no red flags, and you’d seen your friends give you a thumbs up to indicate they’re looking out for you in case something unsuspecting happens.

Something unsuspecting happens, alright. One minute the man’s hand is on your waist, fingers gripping you a little tighter as the song transitions to the next one, and another it’s gone. You turn around to make sure he’s still there but lo and behold, there stands the man you’ve been trying to get your mind off, hand on the other man’s wrist, and a glare that could cut through stone. 

“I’ve got her,” the man says, voice cold and stern, it gave you chills. 

It takes a while before it registers. Hair parted at the middle, black polo, black leather jacket. Even under these party lights he still looks breathtaking. You scowl at Jungkook. 

“What the fuck, Jeon. I was dancing with Ye-jun!”

“It’s, uh, Yu-jun,” you hear the man say. Was he now stuttering? 

“You’re drunk,” Jungkook responds, tone steady, head now turned to you.

“So? I’ve been drunk many times before. It’s nothing new,” you snap back.

“Yes, but you don’t do this,” he says, voice calm and patient.

“And what’s this? Enjoy myself? Find a man to dance with, to go home with? Maybe to hook up with?” You bite back, arms crossed, a little less drunk now that you feel anger consume you. You don’t see the surprised but intrigued look of the man staring at you, but Jungkook does and it takes all of him not to smack the guy’s face right then and there.

But really, how dare he? He ghosts you again and now he decides to show up and crash your little dance party? 

Jungkook lets out a low grunt. He turns to the man, jaw clenched, eyes piercing. “Seriously, I’ve got this. You can leave us now.” He continues to stare at the man who knows he’s got nothing on Jungkook.

“Well fuck me,” the man says and walks away. 

Jungkook grabs your wrist to take you to the bar, forcing you to drink 2 glasses of water. 

“What the hell was that?” You shout. Jungkook eyes the bartender, as if to tell him to give both of you as much privacy as he can in a venue like this. 

“You’re drunk and the guy was trying it with you,” he says, matter-of-factly. 

“He actually had the decency to ask if he could put his hand on my waist, seeing that I was drunk!” You shout back. 

He rests his right arm on the bar and looks at you blankly. “You’re still drunk and he’s still a stranger.”

At this, you completely lose it. “And you aren’t? What are you now, my friend? My fuck buddy I don’t fuck? My almost lover? The guy I can never have? The guy who’s too afraid to have me?”

You eye the bartender nearby preparing 2 shots of tequila. You walk the short distance towards him and down both shots, one after the other. “Make him pay for them,” you shout to the man, pointing to Jungkook, and you walk away. 

Seven shots of tequila in and you’re quite the mess, physically and emotionally. Why you think it felt cathartic to down those shots is beyond you; now your head is spinning and your feet feel like death. 

You see the light at the end of the tunnel, an empty chair a few steps away. You make it, thankfully, without much fanfare. You look around for your friends but it’s all dancing silhouettes and unfamiliar faces. The lights are now blinding and suddenly it feels stuffy that it’s hard to breathe. You drag your arms to the table and drop your head onto them, slowly succumbing to sleep.

A voice wakes you, repeating your name countless times until you start to resent it. You lazily look up to find Jungkook, crouching down to level with you, holding a plate of chocolate cake and a pitcher of water. 

You look at what he’s holding before your glossy eyes rest at his face. He sighs, puts the pitcher on the table, and proceeds to take the fork and feed you with bites of the cake. 

You drink water in between, and after 3 mouthfuls, you look up at him and flash your teeth, as if to ask if there’s some chocolate leftovers on them. He lets out a short laugh and removes a crumb hanging on the corner of your lips. “All good,” he says. 

“Take me home, Jungkook.” You plead. “Please take me home.”

#

Jungkook doesn’t know why he suddenly got scared. He’d made up his mind that he would message you when they’d landed, drive to your place to see you, and talk things out the next day, but his mind had other plans. 

He got so caught up at the thought that he’s finally home, finally breathing the same air as you, that you were just 30 minutes away from him - so near yet so far - that he’d zoned out and completely forgotten to message you. He was so anxious about finally talking to you that he’d ended up falling asleep at 5AM and slept through the rest of Monday afternoon.

They had a scheduled meeting on Tuesday and had Yoonah’s dinner party that night, and he had wanted to message and see you on the same day because he was that impatient. 

The dinner party wasn’t a big event, but photos from her agencies were soon released that obviously included Jungkook and Yoonah laughing and talking. He knew what was about to happen next. What he didn’t expect was Yoonah’s pleas that night to go out the next day for their routine stunt that they’d do every once in a while. 

Jungkook and Yoonah went to the same middle school and high school in Seoul, both trying to balance education with their responsibilities in their respective idol groups. They ended up being close and confiding in each other, but never went the dating route. They were both so young then and happiness, at that time, equated to success in their field. It’s later on that they’d come to realize how lonely that would feel. 

Jungkook had his hyungs and felt content; Yoonah, who eventually went solo, felt the loneliness eat her up. She’d been dating a friend from her childhood and she knew the only way they could stay together is if their relationship was kept a secret. 

She’d enlisted the help of Jungkook who’d willingly agreed to be her decoy when needed - anytime the media or even fans would catch wind of Yoonah’s relationship, it was automatic for the pair to be seen going out. They never admitted nor denied the rumors. It was enough to throw the scent off the real man she was dating. 

He agreed that Wednesday for a quick lunch out at a cafe. No need for overkill, they agreed. As long as they’re seen together, that should be enough. Jungkook didn’t have the heart to turn her down and instead, kept mum about his own relationship trials with you. He knew that whatever photos that fans would take would be all over social media, and he could only hope you stayed away from it long enough until the issue died down. 

This was another dent in his plan and he had to regroup. Another day has passed and he still hasn’t reached out to you. He was beginning to think it was a stupid idea to wait it out in the first place. 

He entered the bar that Friday night, half sure that he was going to see you. Jieun has been away a while and would definitely want you there. 

It didn’t take long for him to spot you. He was half expecting you’d be dancing with your friends or laughing about in one of the tables. 

He didn’t expect you to be dancing so closely to another man, his hand on your waist, his mouth so dangerously close to your ears. You looked like you were having fun, what with your half-lidded eyes and teeth constantly biting on your bottom lip. He’d never seen that look on you before, and it scared the shit out of him. 

He saw your friends who confirmed the man is someone you’d just met and that you’d gone on about getting shit-faced drunk and hooking up with someone because “Jungkook’s being a jerk right now.” 

“Please grow up, you two, and talk things out,” Chaewon shouted at him, tired and exasperated in dealing with your whiny ass, before she stormed off to shout at her boyfriend. Jaehyun went on about their lover’s quarrel, and Hyejin had discovered the allure and deceit of cranberry vodka and had been puking her guts out in the washroom. 

“Please look out for her,” Jaehyun told Jungkook. What your friends didn’t tell him is why you’re acting this way. Was it the radio silence? The photos you might’ve seen? Or both? 

That’s when Jungkook proceeded to shoo the man away. Of course you wouldn’t go without a fight. From the dance floor to the bar, you had a go at it. He deserved all that, he was sure, even if he was angry at the situation as well. 

It took another pep talk from his hyungs - who were watching you from afar, as you laid your head on the table, and making sure no one would try with you again - convincing him to swallow his pride and just talk to you. 

He hated seeing you like this, moreso since it’s the first time in 2 months he’s seeing you, and considering how things have been during the time you two were apart.

The sweets and water combo always works. Two washroom trips later, you were on the passenger seat of his car, fetus-laden and drifting in and out of sleep. 

Jungkook is frustrated. How bad had things gotten that you were willing to hook up with some stranger at the bar? What were you thinking? Why didn’t you reach out this time? He was just making excuses again but regardless, he looks at you, a snort escaping your mouth as you catch yourself snoring, and thinks you’re still the most beautiful girl he’d ever seen.

#

You wake up underneath two thick blankets and a mountain of pillows surrounding you. 

Clawing out of your fort-like surrounding, you see a glass of water and aspirin on your bedside table. You sigh and try to recall the night before. 

You were lucid at some parts. You recall the guy with the soft hands, both of you dancing so close together, his whispers of sweet nothings on your ear. You remember a bit about your little outburst at Jungkook at the bar, the chocolate cake, vomiting your insides in the toilet, and climbing to your bed. 

You force your eyes shut, trying to remember more. Your throat hurts, the kind that isn’t just from alcohol. You feel the crusty bits on your eyes, at both corners and on the sides. 

You cried. You were probably shouting too. What the fuck were you going on about last night?

And then it hits you. Jungkook was there. He totally cockblocked you. But he also fed you cake and probably took you home. Now you remember a bit of his calloused hands drawing circles on your back as you tried to puke all the alcohol out of your system. He probably helped you brush your teeth too, you conclude, seeing as your mouth doesn’t feel extra disgusting this morning. 

“What else, what else?” You think aloud. But your mind draws out blank. Knowing yourself though, and the anger and hurt that built up inside you before you stepped foot in that bar, was enough to let you know that you probably gave him shit, for what, you’re not sure. 

You decide it’s time to get the gunk off your body so you get off the bed, pop the aspirin, and head out your room. 

The smell of freshly brewed coffee is what welcomes you as you open the door. 

You stand by the kitchen, looking for signs of the other person with you until you see the blanket on your couch and a familiar-looking black leather jacket lying at its back.

The bathroom door opens, revealing a freshly washed Jungkook, clad in a white shirt and boxers, clothes of his that you know he got from the second drawer on your dresser.

He pauses on his steps and stares at you. “You’re awake,” he says.

“And you’re here,” you reply, a bit of irritation laced in your voice. 

You both stare at each other for a couple more seconds, not sure how to proceed. This is new territory for you. 

Your mornings were never like this. They were always full of lazy greetings, games of rock-paper-scissors on who would get up first to brew coffee, soft singing in the kitchen, laughter. 

“You uh, got drunk,” he starts, hand scratching the back of his neck, which he usually does when he’s nervous or shy.

“You uh, cockblocked me last night,” you deadpanned. 

Jungkook stays put where he is, face faltering a little bit. “Were you really planning on hooking up with that guy?” He asks. 

“I don’t know, maybe,” you say. You were so close, though, even if you knew you wouldn’t. Part of you is thankful that Jungkook made sure that didn’t happen but no, you can’t fall for this so easily. 

He continues to look at you, eyes blinking constantly, teeth biting onto his lower lip, you’re afraid it’d start to bleed. Why is he so nervous? 

“For goodness’ sake, Jungkook! I wanted to hook up with him, or anyone for that matter, because I’m fucking pissed at you! And if you hadn’t noticed, I’ve been doing things I don’t normally do because you’re messing me up!” You shout at him. 

You’re closer to him now, and you can clearly see the flushed look on his face. He can’t focus on you, he’s biting his lip even harder and looking down on his feet. In the silence, you both try to find your own words to express the emotions that have been eating you up inside. 

“I’m…” you start gesticulating, trying to find more words to express all the anger and pain and frustration you’re feeling. 

And then your stomach grumbles, really loud, and it’s the mood killer you didn’t need.

“I’m fucking hungry,” you whimper, head falling on your hands as you make that sound of a cry that borders on a laugh. You look and sound utterly ridiculous right now. You’re losing your resolve, and you’re slowly cracking in front of the man you’re angry at.

Jungkook suppresses a small laugh. “I hate you,” you say, your tone not matching your words. 

“You said that last night too,” he says, looking up at you. 

“I probably meant it. I still do,” you respond, meeting his eyes. 

“I know. But I said last night we’ll talk about it today. That shut you up.”

You laugh to yourself, imagining how you probably looked, drunkenly shouting at him last night. You tell yourself you’ve got to face this now, no more excuses.

“Good, because we’ve got months’ worth of shit to talk about,” you say, as you head for the bathroom.

“Bacon or sausage?” He calls out before you close the door. “Bacon!” You respond immediately.

#

Jungkook puts his utensils down and stops eating. 

“I’m not gonna lie, Y/N, you’re scaring the shit out of me.” 

You continue to glare at him, as if to say that making you breakfast doesn’t mean he’s off the hook.

“Seriously, your nose is flaring, you’re looking at me like you want to rip me into pieces…” he peers at your hands, knuckles white at how hard you’re gripping the fork and knife. “You look like you want to stab me for real this time…” he trails. 

You grit your teeth and scowl at him. If looks could kill he’d be dead by now. He responds with a smile, the kind one would have if they want to get out of something.

“You’re not funny,” you deadpan.

“I wasn’t trying to be!” 

You cross your arms, anger still painting your face.

“Okay, Y/N, let’s calm down and talk this out like mature individuals,” he continues, arms up as if he’s trying to tame an animal. This pisses you off even more. 

You feel tears form in the corner of your eyes out of anger. “Yes, because ghosting me the second time around is soooo mature,” you shout.

You drop what you’re holding, push your chair backwards, and turn away to walk the very short distance to the living room. You let out a loud groan.

He runs to you, now even more worried than before. He stops in his tracks when he sees your shoulders start to shake. He’s really outdone himself this time, he thinks. What a way to try and “fix” things, he scolds himself.

“I’m sorry, I’m doing this all wrong.” 

“You think?!” You shout, now facing him, tears already trailing down your cheeks. The look on his face, that of sadness, guilt, of regret, pierces through you like a knife, the same way the look of pain and dejection on yours cuts through him, rendering him speechless. He’d never seen you this hurt, this angry, this tired. 

“You ignored me for a whole week. I went to your house to see you but you just…” you exhale. You couldn’t even say the words because just thinking about that day hurts you so much, something you realized you hadn’t really gotten over. The realization and the guilt you felt were enough to ease that pain but the recent radio silence from him only served to resurface those feelings.

“And you come back and what, nothing again from you?” 

Jungkook stares at you, trying to name the emotions written on your face. There’s too much of everything he sees and it causes anger to course through him at what he’s done and what this could mean. So he does what he usually does when he’s hurt and scared - he deflects.

“Why didn’t you call?” He starts, earning him a scoff from you. “I confessed my feelings that day but you didn’t say anything; you just got angry that I was leaving and when I was away, all I got was a text for an apology,” he continues, jaw tight at how he’s trying not to cry. 

You stare at him, wide-eyed. You did greet him on his birthday, but you opted to let him speak.

“I come home after 2 months and I don’t hear from you and I see you at a bar dancing with some guy. What was I supposed to do?” He grits his teeth. He knows he’ll break, he’s just trying to hold out as long as he can.

“You call that confessing? You barely gave me anything that day, Jungkook! We always talked about things but you drop that bomb on me from out of nowhere!” You stomp towards him, motioning him to look at you.

“We had such a good time before that. That trip, that morning… and then you ignore me a whole week and then you leave.”

“I…” Jungkook stammers. He always knew he handled that whole situation terribly. He didn’t give you time, he didn’t give you an option. 

“I torture myself by replaying that weekend because I can’t help but think that might be the last time I’ll ever get to have you like that,” you mewl.

This is when he breaks, he thinks. 

He takes in a long breath.

“I woke up before you that morning and you just looked… so beautiful, so peaceful, and I just wanted to get used to that, you know?” He sighs, forlorn eyes focused on the floor as if he’s watching the scene he’s committed to his mind play out before him. 

“I didn’t think much of it before, just that I wanted to be with you all the time and when I was, I wanted to stay a bit longer, or the night. And when I did I just wanted to sleep next to you and have you close to me until the next morning… and the morning after that. And I just wanted so badly for you to feel the same way.” He covers his face with his hands.

“But you… you thanked me for being a great friend and I guess hearing it like that, confirming that I’m just that to you, broke my heart because right then I thought…” he looks straight at you with his glossy doe eyes and suddenly you forget how to breathe. “I thought that I wanted so much more.”

You blink at him once, twice, a couple more times. He’d only implied he had felt something but this… this isn’t what you were expecting.

“I avoided you because I didn’t know how to talk to you without feeling sad and angry,” he explains.

“You still could’ve said something! You were the one who was being selfish and unfair, not me. You kept that all to yourself and didn’t give me a chance to tell you how I felt.”

He lets out a small laugh, sounding resigned. “You made it clear that day of what I was to you. I mean, with the amount of time we spend together, with how close we are? For fuck’s sake, Y/N, we kiss and sleep next to each other and even after all that, I’m just a friend? What more did we - did I - have to do for it to be more?”

“You could’ve told me, Jungkook. You could’ve told me because I would’ve told you that I felt the same way.”

He looks at you, a pained expression on his face. 

“Then why say that, huh?” he turns away from you, adrenaline rushing through his veins. He should be happy but somehow he’s upset - at himself or you, he’s unsure. “Why do all of those and keep me at a distance like that?”

“Because I didn’t want to feel that way for you! I couldn’t.”

“Why not?

“Because I was scared.”

“Bullshit.” 

“I know it’s a crap excuse for anything but it’s how I felt. Because I knew, long ago, that you’re the one who wouldn’t want anything more. All those PR stunts? The women you’d casually dated? I got your memo, Jungkook. Any feeling or thought I had of us being anything more disintegrated the moment you said that you had too much crazy going on to even deal with relationships… and I let it.”

“Then why didn’t you say anything?”

“This is really how you want to play this, Jungkook? Why didn’t I do this? Why didn’t I say that? I always do, okay? I call, I ask you over, I kiss you, I ask you to stay. And you always do exactly those, just those. Nothing more, never anything more. What would saying it do?”

Jungkook looks defeated. He understands you, more than you think he does.

That night when he’d gone to your apartment after your ex showed up - when he’d ditched drinks with the guys to help Seokjin take his mind off the girl he’d lost because he gave what he only could and it wasn’t enough until someone else could give more - seems to be as vivid to you as it was for him. 

Going to you was reflex for him, especially after he’d heard your sniffles over the phone. Seeing you cry pained him even more. He’d cursed Jinyoung internally multiple times; how someone could be scared of someone as beautiful as you was beyond him. 

That night felt like he saw you for the first time - your strength, your passion for life, your desire to be a better version of yourself. He’d enjoyed your musings about the innate goodness of people and the human’s incredible ability to love, hurt, heal, and love again.  Even your thoughts on  fate and destiny that were contrary to his had caused him to question more, think deeper, live more ardently. 

Beneath those puffy eyes and shivering body, there was no sign of insecurity. You were just so sure of yourself, so free, so unapologetic, and he wanted to bask in your radiance, in your glow; he wanted front-row seats to the unravelling of you.  

And he didn’t feel like he could be enough. Between his responsibilities, his restrictions, his commitments because of his own dreams and the life that he chose, he just knew that he would always fall short and he would lose you. And that frightened him more than anything.

So Jungkook did what he always does when he’s hurt and scared - he deflected. He said there was too much going on in his life - that’s why he can’t try, why he can’t commit, why he can’t want more, because he can’t be more, at least not what he wants to be for you.

He never finished that sentence though, felt like it would be final if he said the words. Looks like you convinced yourself of these thoughts of his for you, he concludes. And he sees it now. He was just as scared as you. Probably still are.

“I would’ve stayed, you know?” You break him out of the internal monologue he’d immersed himself in. 

“I walk away when things don’t work out but I realized that I would have stayed. Whether it was I who felt differently and you didn't, or you did and I didn't… I would’ve stuck around.” You look at him, eyes now devoid of all the anger you were feeling not long ago. 

“I was angry and sad because of you but you were the one I wanted to call about it,” you continue. “God, it felt stupid but that’s when I realized it, you know? I wanted to be with you. Any mess we had to deal with was way more worth it than any clarity without you.”

It’s all Jungkook needs to hear.

He marches over to you, two strides are what it takes until he’s palming your cheeks and softly resting his lips onto yours, waiting, wanting, for you to meet him halfway. 

And you do.

You push yours onto his, tasting those saccharine chapped lips, causing your body to relax at how right this feels. The kiss is gentle, similar to the ones you’ve shared before, but different in what this means, different in what it is trying to say. 

He pulls back and you feel hazy, like you’d just been woken up from a dream right when you were about to get to the good part.

He looks at you so tenderly, like if his eyes could sigh a relief they would. He’s thumbing your cheeks repeatedly, searching your misty eyes as if there are still questions he needs answered.

“Why did you want to kiss me? That first time. Why?” His tone is rushed, desperate.

“Because I wanted to know if I still felt it, whatever it was I felt before, I wanted to know if I still felt it.”

“And did you feel it then, and every time we did it?”

You close your eyes, causing the tears that have now accumulated to fall from your eyes. “Yes, Jungkook. Always.”

He thumbs the tears away as they fall down one by one. He looks at you as internally, he’s gathering the feelings of the past months - the anger, desolation, the regret - readying himself to let it all go, he just needs to hear you say it, whatever it is. He needs to know that you felt everything he felt.

“What did you feel just now?”

“Like I want more, Jungkook. I want more,” and you open your eyes to meet his satisfied ones, both of your breaths hitching at how you’re feeling a flurry of emotions that you can’t tame. 

Jungkook pulls your face towards his once again, meeting your tear-stained lips; this time he presses harder, slightly parting his mouth and you angle your face for better access. You feel like that moment when two puzzle pieces finally fit together, when they finally find their way, like two lost souls following the north star to find each other.

He continues his motions, coaxing you to go harder just as he is, and you do. He licks onto your bottom lip, seeking entrance, and with your parted mouth, you revel in the way both of yours meld onto each other so perfectly, so fluidly like they’re meant to do this, like your lips are meant to fuse together like this. And it sets you on fire. 

Your hands, which were only lightly touching his bent elbows as his palms continue to stroke your face, are now gliding on his arms, feeling the veins and ridges that dent his limbs. They proceed to graze over his hands, sending shivers down your spine as you imagine all the things those hands could do to you. You do this repeatedly, sensually, making Jungkook hungrier, needier. 

You’re so lost in the feeling of him this close to you, like one of your drives where the windows are down and the wind is blowing and you feel unanchored, flowing, light, like you any time you can fly away.

His hands trail south, caressing your sides until they find purchase on your waist, grip tightening as his mouth continues its attack on yours, both of your tongues fighting for dominance. This time he wins, as a slight tip of his head gives him an advantage and he’s going deeper. You moan onto his mouth, hands pulling on his hair by the nape of his neck, as they have now found refuge there. 

Push and pull you both go, from twirling your tongues and taking turns nibbling on each other’s lips. Your right hand slides down from his neck to his chest, and as you thumb his hard nipple that you feel through his shirt, he bucks his hip and you feel the dent on his crotch that causes adrenaline to surge through you. 

You clutch on his shirt, eager to get it off. You’re desperate as you feel heat rise to your chest, as if it’s about to explode. Your senses are overloaded right now, making you lightheaded, intoxicated, a dampness in your core accumulating as your hips meet his, seeking friction to quench the intense thirst of your body to feel his own. 

You pull away this time, feeling like your head will explode from the sensory overload - the strong and fresh scent of the white musk body wash, the sweet taste of coffee on his mouth, the erotic sounds of your heavy breathing and moans, the tingling feeling of his fingertips on your arms, and the sight of him on top of you.    

Eyes wide filled with worry that he might’ve done something wrong, Jungkook asks, “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, I just…” you let out a few continuous breaths, “I couldn’t breathe,” you continue, a short laugh escaping your lips. 

He chuckles. “I’m sorry, I got carried away.” He chews on his bottom lip. “I just didn’t think I’d hear you say that.”

“That I want you?”

He nods shyly, suddenly very different from the man who’d just tried to swallow you whole.

“I do, Jungkook. What about you?”

Now it’s your turn to have a worried look in your eyes, nervous about what will happen next.

“I want everything with you, Y/N. I want this,” he pulls you back to him and rests his forehead on yours, “I want all of this.” 

You close your eyes as he does, tips of your noses touching, breaths hot on each other’s skin. A smile forms on your lips as he kisses your cheek, left and right, then your jaw, and then your neck. He takes his time there, teeth nibbling on the flesh, tongue soothing the sting. 

He licks a strip up until his tongue lands on a sensitive area below your ear. He grazes his teeth on your skin and your senses come alive again. “Mhmm, Jungkook,” you moan. 

He smiles onto the spot, his breath causing that dampness on your core to pool once again. “You like that, babe?”

You laugh at the pet name, choosing instead to hide the overwhelming desire you feel to hear his low and raspy voice call you that everyday. 

“I hate you,” you tell him, head leaning on his shoulder. This one has no bite, though. And he knows this, but he plays along.

“Let me make it up to you, yeah?”

The intoxicating feeling comes back, this time from just the mere insinuation of what he’ll do to you. 

You nod and take his hand to lead him to your room. He follows, head in a daze because he didn’t think he could ever be with you like this. All the times you’d both walked to your room, you were drunk or tired or sleepy; you’d carefully lie on your sides of the bed, talk and laugh until you fall asleep. Just the thought of how different it’s going to be this time is making him feel dizzy.

He watches you walk towards your bed and as you stand there, turning to him, with the rays of the sun finding their way through your blinds and casting a heavenly glow on your silhouette, he thanks all the gods and the cosmos for planning this one out for him. 

You look at him tenderly and his heart, which has been beating so rapidly since you’d woken up, steadies its beats. He feels the entire weight of the world, which he’d placed on his shoulders on his own, dissipate slowly. 

He lives for moments on the stage when, in front of thousands of people cheering his name, he feels alive, like he’s got the whole world on the palm of his hands, like everything he’s ever wanted is possible. It’s just you and him in this apartment, in this room, and he feels the same and something else - he feels enough, he feels more. 

He kisses you slower this time, lips aching to savor every inch of your face, of your neck, as he slowly caresses your arms, your sides, taking his time there too.

He pulls you by the waist, hands resting on the base of your spine and he rests his head on the crook of your neck. 

“I’m so sorry, Y/N. I’m so sorry for everything.”

You both stay there for a while, your arms around his neck and your warmth steadying Jungkook’s breathing that once again picked up when he’d realized he really could have completely lost you. 

“You haven’t lost me,” you say, as if his beating heart had whispered to you his ultimate fear. He hugs you tighter and buries his head on your neck even deeper.

“I’m still scared though,” you confess, fingers brushing through the loose strands of his hair.

“I know, so am I,” he responds, finally coming out of hiding and facing you. “And it’s okay. But we have to promise to tell each other when it gets too much, yeah? We have to tell each other what bothers us, what worries us.”

“I don’t like confrontations,” you say.

“They won’t be. They’ll be discussions. We can’t let this happen again, okay?”

“Okay.”

He tips your chin up so he’s looking into your eyes again. “Now I think I said I was going to make it up to you,” the smug look on his face making its return. You missed this. And also, you’re in trouble.

He kisses you again, and again, and again. He ghosts his fingertips underneath your shirt and then he’s tracing patterns, constellations on your torso. 

The clothes come off soon enough, until you’re both bare, uncovered, vulnerable in front of each other. He traces patterns again, this time with his lips, down to your shoulders, and then to your chest.

His mouth feels immaculate on your breasts, wet muscle hungrily laving over your pert nipples. His hands find refuge on your mound, ghosting the lips until the wetness sucks his fingers in. He draws circles over your clit, eliciting the most beautiful sounds from you. This rivals the screams of the fans for them, he thinks, but this one, he could have this everyday, definitely.

Everything happens the way both of you imagined, and you both commit to memory this moment - the satisfaction on his face when you buck your hips into his mouth, your dripping core coating his face with your wetness; the feeling of his soft but calloused hands claiming every inch of your body; his half-lidded eyes and his clenched jaw as he enters you, pushes into you, drags in and out of you; your cries of more, don’t stop, and I’m close, ringing in his head and prompting him to go harder, faster; and his moans as he finishes and your heavy breathing as you ride out both of your highs, heads still in the clouds, hands intertwined to keep you grounded, to remind you that this is real, that this isn’t the last time, that this is more. 

# 

You wake up to the sound of a phone’s incessant ringing, tempting you to throw the piece of device off the wall just so you could bask in this moment just a little longer. You try to reach for it, causing the morning sun that passes through the uncovered corner of your window to blind you slightly.

Jungkook groans next to you, head buried on the hair at the back of your head, his hand resting on your waist. You smile and let your fingers trace the ink that thoughtfully decorates his, settling them in the empty spaces in between. He deepens his head where it’s found sanctuary, hands now intertwined with yours, and pulls you closer. He greets you with kisses on your bare shoulder, soft moans escaping you as his hand now releases yours to roam the body he’d spend the whole day yesterday exploring.

“Mhmm, baby,” he moans to your ear, feeling the ecstasy of your hand soothing the ache he feels on his length. It’s all you need to turn to him, meet his lips, close the distance of your hips to his until he’s inserting himself into you again. Your bodies easily find a rhythm, your labored breaths harmonizing well. 

It’s a softer one this morning, unlike yesterday (morning, afternoon, evening, pretty much). It’s lazy, tender; bodies just falling into each other, melding, fitting together, finding each other. 

He cleans you up, like he did all times yesterday, and he lets you snuggle to him this time. He plants a kiss on your forehead, eyes dreamily tracing your features. He still can’t believe he’s here.

“You’re so beautiful, Y/N.”

“And you’re so good to me, Kook.”

You hum as he kisses you once more, a satisfied smile displaying on your lips. He likes this very much.

His phone beeps again, and again. He lets his head fall back on the pillow out of frustration.

“They’re calling for you,” you point out, a smile still gracing your lips. You’re used to this already.

“I know,” he resigns. 

You rest your head on your chest and wrap your arm around him tighter. “Stay a little longer, please,” you plead.

He returns the favor and hugs you back, a satisfied smile on his face.  

“Your turn to make breakfast, babe.”

You groan but proceed to drag yourself out of bed. Limbs sore and legs feeling like jelly, you miss your footing and trip on your clothes and ungraciously fall to the floor.

You both explode with laughter. He could get used to this, he thinks.

#

part 3 <<>> part 4 drabble

series masterlist

[thememestho]

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ 911 fox sentence meme

enjoy this overly extra sentence meme series. episode 1.06 (part 6 of ?)

I feel like I’m dreaming.

I told you you’d love it.

I hate you.

Love hurts.

Honestly, I think this is the first time I’ve seen you bake anything.

I mean, Dad always did the cooking.

So then why are you dating a guy that only wants to bone on the phone?

I’m fine with him being a boy toy.

I just want to put on some fancy underwear, and... get my hair done, and go out, and have a nice time and feel special.

Well maybe if ____ doesn’t pull through we’ll do a girls night.

A woman like you, smart and sexy with hair like an angel deserves a real Valentine's Day.

Well, I know plenty of women... who don't like Valentine's Day and plenty of guys who love it.

How does it feel to be back?

Hasn't been the same without you, ______. You're the heart of this place.

Yeah, uhh, I’m here for the party.

And you brought cookies.

I can barely feel it now.

I want a lot of ice cream.

He talks about you all the time.

I'm doing whatever I can to get my mind off romance for the night.

It's good, it's just a little salty for my taste.

Uh, we can have sex during intermission. 

Did you think I was going to get you real diamonds?

I spent all day cooking for you and getting waxed and buying sexy underwear... I spent hours on tonight.

You know, my friends told me to stay away from you. Said you had the crazy eyes.

Okay, you want me to do this the hard way? Fine.

You’re not my only girlfriend. 

You don't mean anything to me, _____.

No, I’m all alone. 

Dumped on Valentine's Day. Can you believe it?

Yeah, well, men can be dogs.

Yeah, well, sometimes the one isn't even the one. 

Take it from me, you can be married and still feel alone.

All right? You're better off without him... You hear me?

If the blues come back and you feel like crying out for help, you make a call and talk to me.

You’ve got a good heart.

You sure you don't want me to stay?

What if I screw this up?

Listen, it's not uncommon for a guy to use quick, meaningless sex to avoid real intimacy.

Is that what you think I said?

That's not what I said.

It just jumped ten degrees in here.

You don’t look like a whore at all. 

Okay, look, I need you to stop worrying about everybody else's wants and feelings, and start worrying about your own, okay?

You should not have sex with her tonight if you're really interested in her.

A woman like that deserves a little chivalry.

How do I look?

You look real handsome.

Good luck keeping it in your pants.

Buckle up, buttercup.

You may have saved a life tonight.

I just... I wanted to thank you for your kind words earlier.

I think I can see his muscles through that jacket.

So you sustained what we call a Casanova Fracture.

Was he in here when I got home?

You said it was done between the two of you.

There’s so much history between us.

So was that creepy or romantic?

I'm so sick of people telling me what's wrong with me.

You have to believe me when I tell you that heartbreak doesn't last forever. But some mistakes do.

He met her at the gym because could he be more of a cliché?

Maybe he didn't tell her that he already had a girlfriend.

____  was perfect. He had a job, he was handsome, the sex was great.

That's what ____ does. Makes the best out of things.

I know this because my daughter did a report on it for school.

Saint Valentine? Ha! The patron saint of epileptics, not lovers.

You’re a liar.

And you are a crazy bitch.

I know you're in there, you piece of garbage!

You need to calm down.

I used Find My Phone to see where you were!

It's okay, it's okay. Everything's all right now. 

All right, let's get you out of here.

You girls need to do better at picking men.

Poor girl. All she wanted was to be loved.

I-I'd love the company, though, if you want to...

You know, that's life. You got to roll with what comes.

Seems like you could use a cup of coffee.

Well, clearly you've never had the coffee from here before.

I’ll risk it.

[phdna]

You guys know the drill: it's time for me to scream as loud as I can about the finale. Sorry it took a while - I was talking to irl friends about the episode

Finales make me anxious in general, but I was extra nervous for this one so my adrenaline is making me super uncoordinated. If this post makes no sense, you know why!

Early on, Sam coordinating with Bucky and Sharon on the ground was so much fun for some reason. I guess I just really like leader!Sam

THE SUIT THO. It's rare these days that seeing a costume make an appearance in the MCU can leave me breathless but this one did. Just everything about it. When the episode finished I immediately went back and rewatched the reveal.

"I'm sorry, who are you?" "I'm Captain America" mirroring the scene when Steve calls himself Cap while rescuing the Howlies. I'm so emotional. Sam is Cap now!!!

Bucky talking to Karli and going from "That's a morally gray person I can save, I'll do my best 🥺" to "FUCK THAT WAS A TRAP DAMN IT TIME TO RUN" was just incredibly in character and I had to laugh even though it was a tense scene

"Seriously Bucky, you had one job" THIS IS NOW MY FAVORITE MEME. Every time Bucky screws up in any canon now I'll use that

Motorcycle shenanigans are always good but they paled when compared to Sam's new fighting style. Sam was so cool I couldn't even care what was going on on the ground

Redwing is back baby!!!!!!

Walker showing up to make a messy situation even worse? Very on brand

Really liked the part with Bucky saving those trapped people for Reasons

"A little birdie told me" I APPRECIATE THAT JOKE SAM

Can we agree Sam was born to be Captain America? The helicopter stunt was such a Cap thing (not a Steve thing - a Cap thing)

I kinda cheered under my breath when Sam saved those people from falling to their death

I'm... Not sure I like the direction they took with Sharon, but I won't think about it for now. More on that in the next few days

Speaking of which... Aw man, it was a good scene - set up, execution and aftermath - but did they really have to kill Karli? I liked her dynamic with Sam so much

Bucky... saw Walker try to save people once and they became buddies for a moment there? Did he just find out he likes this friendship thing and now he gets attached to everyone he sees?

Are we hinting that next season, MCU Sam will do his media thing that 616 Sam did, Marvel? Are we going there? Because I'd like that as long as it has a different ending!

Isaiah and Eli watching Sam 🥺

Actually, everybody watching Sam. I loved that

Love how they went "Mackie has the training to deliver a Captain America Speech™️" and went for it. I love Cap speeches!

Bucky is so cute with Sam now, I love them

"Can you help?" "Always" mirroring "To the rescue, huh?" "Always" made me feel all sorts of things

The Contessa, US Agent and Zemo 👀👀👀 I see where this is going, Marvel. Don't blow this for us!

The way they framed the Nakajima scene starting just like it did the other time when Bucky couldn't bring himself to talk to him made me really emotional

But the scene went by so much faster than I thought it would and I'm still trying to decide whether I really like it or whether I really dislike it

Imho Bucky leaving the notebook behind is even more important than the fact that he crossed out the names

Really loved seeing Isaiah and Sam and Eli hanging out. Three generations of heroes. That's super special to see

And the museum scene??? I teared up

Sam hanging out with everybody he loves was so great to see. It's what he deserves!!!!! I love that's the note they ended on - Sam the family man from a neighborhood that loves him. At the end of the day, random people clapping for him doesn't mean as much as his loved ones sharing his happy ending with him

Also good to see: Bucky hanging out with kids his age! (No, but seriously, Bucky with kids has always been something I love so I was very happy! And of course, I love seeing him have so many positive relationships!)

Captain America and the Winter Soldier???? Really??? I was joking!!!!! And tagging for CATWS and CAATWS is gonna be so much fun. I'm sure I'll never get it wrong. (No, but I'm joking. It's awesome to see there will be another season!)

Again, I'm not thinking about Sharon right now so no comments about the post-credits scene for now

Overall: I've got many things I'd have done differently but this is one of my favorite Marvel things in a long time - across all their media - and I'm sure I'll soon binge watch the whole season again

[you-are-crazy-beautiful]

Continuation of ask:

Favourite character and why?

I think, this will probably come as no surprise that my favourite character is Miss Kieu My Vu herself. Not only in Druck, she's my favourite character in the whole skamverse!

Yeah, so you know how I said I'd probably end up writing an essay about Kieu My at some point...you probably weren't prepared for this anon, because this is legit like a thesis 😬😆

I can't tell you how much I love Kieu My, honestly, after every clip with her, I would actually say it out loud.

I had my headcanons of what I thought she was going to be like based on S5 and her activity on IG (who she follows etc.). I thought she was probably a bit insecure, a nerd, and going to be a really soft LI. When she said 'Bro, what heart', I laughed because I knew she was going to be one of the greatest LI in Skamverse, and boy is she! So one reason she is my fave is because I literally watched the character that I had written in my head, come to life in front of me! ✨

It actually really hurts me and makes me sad knowing that a minority of people in the fandom are sending DM's to the writers saying Kieu My wasn't written well and underdeveloped because they want a Kieu My S7😰😡. They did such a stunning job with her and it pains me to think they might think they didn't.

Some people are saying that her background didn't get explored, but I would argue that it definitely did, we know she has a good, supportive relationship with her parents, that she cares about her Vietnamese heritage, that she feels insecure speaking Vietnamese as she's a 3rd generation immigrant, and her parent's didn't teach her it in great detail. She feels she owes her parents for giving up their dreams and all the hard work they do to make sure she has a good life, which I really relate to because that's how I feel with my mum, even though they don't expect anything back.

Also, you never get the whole background of a LI explored🤷‍♀️ I also argue that a detailed 'background' does not = development or a character getting fleshed out. For example, Maya in SkamFr got a really detailed background, which she explained to Lola in ep 3. I love Maya, so this is not a dig at her. Yet, besides from explaining why she ghosted Lola when she found out about her addiction problem, they didn't give her much more personality than 'the sunshine' to Lola's darkness, and imo she's quite 2D. Development is loads of things, it is a personality being exposed, insecurities being addressed, change in behaviour.

Even in just episode 1, Kieu My already goes through great development. In 5x10, she is still seen as the aloof Insta and quite superficial. Then in the first clip of 6x01, you can see how awkward she is (I cannot express how good Nhungi is with the little details). The way she doesn't understand Fatou's question about what she's doing and replies straight faced that she's walking on the pavement 😂 The stuttering when she asks to use the skateboard. The first hint of her insecurity when she says she bets Fatou never fell off. Which can I just say, I love that line! Because as if Fatou would be able to use a skateboard the first time she tried. It shows Kieu My's insecurity but also how she views Fatou as this cool and collected person. Then when Fatou says she did fall off and laughs, Kieu My lets out a nervous breath to herself. Then laughter is heard, and she starts looking around self-consciously. I think it's probably a mix of thinking people may be laughing at her putting herself out there and looking like an idiot on the skateboard, along with her inner biphobia.

Then the clip in the Physics class we saw the first on screen hints at nerd Kieu My. I went nuts that day as we also got the text between Zoe and her talking about the Bio test, and how Kieu My was studying for it despite the answers being leaked. Druck said Nerd-Kieu My rights!✌ I love that Physics clip so much because as soon as the teacher finishes the question, Kieu My has her hand raised to answer, but also note she doesn't make the hand high or easy to see, showing us she doesn't draw attention to it. So, already in ep 1 you have Superficial-Kieu My -> awkward, nerd Kieu My. DEVELOPMENT!

Please don't interact with this if that's your opinion that she isn't developed. You're entitled to your opinion, but I will not read or answer it.

One of the things I was pleasantly surprised with was that although I thought she was going to be soft and insecure, I thought she would try to hide it behind the Ice queen personality more, and fight her feelings.

It was probably during the NYE clip (which is also maybe why it's my no.1 clip 🥰) that I realised they weren't going to go down the route of her holding onto the 'cool girl' image. She was so shy and could hardly keep eye contact with Fatou when she was talking about her dream of studying Mars❤

I remember there was genuinely like 2 people other than me in the Kieu My fan club when she wasn't responding, and it was strange to me because she said in ep 2 that girls scare her and she doesn't know what to do. It didn't make sense for her to ghost Fatou for any other reason, as girl had spent 11hrs talking with Fatou a week before. The moment in ep 4 when Fatou talks to her in person and she's the shook Mr Krabbe meme 😂💀

She really spent the whole week reading Fatou's texts and then f*cked it up herself by trying to get Constantin off her back. Then my girl came through texting Fatou everyday Sun-Wed, until Fatou responded on Thursday. She really grabbed the bull by the horns and straight up asked Fatou on a date in the geekiest way possible. I'm sure she suggested the table tennis bar because Fatou did, so she thought 'this must be an appropriate first date venue' 😂. The last line on Thursday when she said she can't get Fatou out of her head 🥺 The amount of vulnerability, she's so brave 🤧

Volunteering to do the project with Fatou, again showing her bravery and not caring about what anybody else thought even with the rumour going around and Constantin sitting next to her!

Turning up with the plate of Vietnamese pancakes, and doing the nervous bounce she does. Revealing to Fatou that she doesn't think she's good enough, and everybody thinks she's perfect, and the pressure she puts on herself to live up to that. Crying when she thought she had blown her chance to be with Fatou. She's too soft I can't take it! 😭Even the detail that she always tries to hold Fatou's hand for comfort 🗣🗣

Getting her girl, and then immediately setting up a date. Laying herself bare about her inner biphobia, and Fatou being the first girl she's been with, her dreams of being an astrophysicist, and nerding out about the history of the universe 🥰

I absolutely love how she's the one to initiate the first kisses and touches, she just went in with both feet and never looked back, fighting her fears to be with Fatou. She is so brave! Which makes all her gestures of love even more immense! They would be incredibly romantic gesture anyway, I mean climbing a roof in her fancy clothes *swoon*, but the fact that she is doing it, despite being terrified🗣🗣

Being a straight A student, but not caring about the presentation and just Fatou's wellbeing. I burst into tears when she asked the teacher to stop and then argued back to him.

Showing how she finds it hurtful that no one really sees her and they only care about her looks. One of the things I was constantly blown away with was how Kieu My kept being given the space to speak. There's at least 3 key scenes where she is just allowed to breathe, and talk about her fears and issues, which I think is so rare.

How she is also an absolute 🤡 Referring to Fatou as Axolotlgirl in texts, sending Fatou songs and that she can't help think about Fatou while listening to them, but not knowing why and that she is in love. When she is too scared to talk to Fatou, but got her nails cut ASAP, and was liking all of Fatou's IG posts. Telling Fatou to stay away from her because she is so hurt but then having a full on breakdown for 2 weeks, calling people at 3am, and stalking Fatou's IG, accidentally liking posts, and thinking Fatou was moving on with Ava 🤡

Being such a caring person and going to help Constantin at 11pm, no questions asked, and keeping an eye on him at the party, making sure he was drinking water. Being there for Fatou because she knows something is going on, even though she's been hurt in their last interactions. Helping her parents at the store with no complaints, but fitting in time to print old Maths workbooks to help Fatou 🥰.

Getting a gold turtle and carrying it in her pocket because she was too scared to give it to Fatou! Setting up a stargazing date in someone's bedroom in the middle of someone else's birthday party 💀

Apologising to Ava because it's the right thing to do and not because she's with Fatou.

So, as you can gather, I think Kieu My is alright 😜

Thank you to the writers and Nhungi, because you really knocked it out the park with her!❤

[gentlemanjester]

Why the Bionicle movies is a masterpiece

From the beginning, we’re told about the villain: The Makuta. The Makuta is the brother of Mata Nui, the “Great Spirit”. Throughout the movie, there are always cuts to The Makuta, and I have to say, his dialogue in this movie is fascinating because it actually calls into doubt his villain status. He’s a master of shadows, sure, and he creates the Rahkshi, he tries to convince Takua to bring him the Mask of Light... but what’s his reasoning? In this movie, as far as we’re told, he’s doing it to prolong Mata Nui’s slumber, his brother’s sleep... because wakefulness brings pain to Mata Nui. If your brother was in pain unless he was asleep, wouldn’t you want to let him be at peace as well?

Then we have our two intrepid heroes: Takua and Jaller. We’re introduced to them and given great character profiles: Takua is the foolhardy guy who’s always seeking adventure, no matter how dangerous. Jaller is his best friend, always more level-headed, basically Takua’s rock. It’s this scene where Takua discovers the Mask of Light, and is subsequently rescued by Toa Tahu. 

They go to their Kohlii match (basically 3-way football with 2-player teams), where we learn that the Toa are protectors of the Matoran (the small Bionicles). A cool Kohlii match unfolds, where we get a scene which is foreshadowing for the climax, we’ll get back to that later. Actually, the whole match is foreshadowing for the climax, but we’ll get back to that later. But it’s at the end of this match that the Mask of Light is revealed, and the Turaga (old, wise Bionicles) translate the text inside the mask. Here, they discover that there is a seventh Toa. 

Now, there are six Toa to represent six elements: fire, water, wind, ice, earth, and rock. We also learnt hat these six Toa appeared once day, whereas this mysterious seventh Toa needs to be found. It’s here that we learn of Takua’s reluctance to make his own story. Known as the Chronicler, it’s naturally his job to chronicle; to record the tales of others. The Mask shines for him, yet he manages to convince everybody that Jaller is the Herald of the Seventh Toa. Takua is so uncertain about his own destiny (one of the three virtues, alongside Unity and Duty), that he is quite distressed when Jaller drags him along for the ride. 

Speaking of the three virtues, let’s discuss a fantastic sub-plot of the movie: Tahu’s corruption. In the beginning, there are three Toa in attendance at the Kohlii match: Tahu (Toa of Fire), Pohatu (Toa of Earth), and Gahli (Toa of Water). There is obvious tension between Tahu and Gahli, with Pohatu trying to act as a mediator. When the initial three Rahkshi attackTa-Koro, the village of Fire, Tahu still tries to go solo, but gets a cut on his face from one of the Rahkshi’s spears. 

Tahu eventually gets more and more dejected and angry, saying how he wasn’t strong enough to protect his home, he pushes Gahli away when she tries to help him... until, when fighting the next trio of Rahkshi in the stone village of Onu-Koro, Tahu straight up turns against Gahli. He struggles through a stream of water she’s holding him back with, while snarling “I... have no... destiny!” which, in my opinion, is a fantastic line. Destiny, arguably one of the most important of the three virtues of Mata Nui, and he is so corrupted by the Rahkshi’s venom that he’s rejecting it mindlessly. It takes Toa Kopaka freezing him to stop him. 

Tahu is healed of the venom by Gahli, Lewa, and Kopaka, and makes peace with Gahli as thanks for saving his life. 

Now, back to Takua and Jaller in what is another fantastic story arc. So, the pair (riding atop Pewku, a crap-like Ussal who’s adorable), are in the tunnels, following the Mask of Light. Takua gets distracted, as he’s wont to do, and get separated from Jaller. While in the darkness, the Makuta speaks to him, and tells him to bring Makuta the Mask of Light, because not doing so will only result in pain and darkness. When Takua is reunited with Jaller, he realises that the Makuta can obviously see where he is, so he pushes Jaller away and convinces him that he should continue alone, because Takua’s only going to be a burden and isn’t worth keeping around. 

Takua arrives at Onu-Koro right before the Rahkshi arrive, and it’s then that he realises “No... I need to help my friend!”, so he and Pewku continue on to try and find Jaller. Takua and Jaller are the best of friends, this much has been made clear. Which means that for Takua to push away Jaller like that, make them part on bad terms, he knew that Jaller would be safer without him. But with the arrival of the Rahkshi, chasing him rather than the Mask, he realises that his duty is the Herald of the Seventh Toa, and like it or not, he has left his best friend in the wild with no less than six Rahkshi hunting for the Herald and the Mask. 

The pair reuinte, and they’re led to Kini-Nui, a sacred sight, and there, they are set upon by the six Rahkshi. The Toa arrive and, now with unity, they battle with their foes and defeat them. During the fight, however, one of the Rahkshi is about to attack Takua. Which is when Jaller, the best friend in the world, jumps up and grabs hold of the beast’s spear, which drains his life. Jaller dies in Takua’s arms, with his last words being “You know who you are.” 

Takua, torn by the loss of his best friend, he realises that he was right all along: Jaller was the Herald of the Seventh Toa. Except the Seventh Toa was there all along. Takua dons the Mask of Light, and becomes Toa Takanuva, the Toa of Light. 

He goes into Mangaia and faces The Makuta. As mentioned before, that Kohlii match was foreshadowing... and the two, Light and Shadow, fight in a “Kohlii” match, tossing a ball around with their respective weapons. It ends with a fantastic exchange.  Makuta: “My duty... is to the Mask of Shadows!” Takanuva: “Then let’s take a closer look.. behind that mask!”

Takanuva proceeds to leap onto Makuta, trying to wrench his mask free. They struggle for a bit, before falling into the pool of energized protodermis together. By now, the Turaga and the Toa have arrived, trapped by a rockslide caused by The Makuta. 

And from the pool of protodermis emerges an amalgamation of Takanuva and Makuta. Light and dark, merged together. This merging of the two lifts up an extremely heavy door to a balcony beyond, holding it open for everybody to get through. However, he stops a young Matoran who’s carrying Jaller’s mask. He places the mask on the ground, then uses his power to restore Jaller to life. Then, with everybody save and a dramatic “My... duty... is done...!”, the door collapses, crushing him. The Mask of Light then skids along the ground to come to a rest at the feet of the Toa, Matorans, and Turaga. 

So, this movie has got:

Drama - Takua’s rescue at the beginning, the Kohlii match, Tahu’s corruption, the attack on Noru-Koro, Takanuva’s assault on The Makuta’s mask.  Emotion - Takua pushing Jaller away, Jaller’s death, Tahu becoming more and more hateful towards his fellow Toa Action - so many fight scenes, it’s all awesome Character development - Tahu’s acceptance of Gahli’s help (even at he beginning, they never got along), Takua’s acceptance of him being the chronicle rather than the Chronicler, the true motivation of The Makuta? A deep, lore-filled world - we’ve all seen the memes of Bionicle lore

The movie is fantastic for people of all ages. I know I’ve already done a short review on it, but I want people to understand how good this movie is. It is fantastic. Wonderful. Glorious. Perfection. It has everything a good movie needs.