#it is not 2024 here yet but i felt like being early

[drawerbread]

New year griddlehark smooch!!

wishing everyone a happy 2024! my only resolution is to go insane unless we get alecto news

bonus:

[punkpandapatrixk]

🌟Blessings to Expect throughout 2024 ♦︎ Timeless Pick A Card

‘You’re always here. What are you doing?’

‘Nothing…nothing in particular.’

‘You’re Saibara’s grandson, right? Aren’t you working at the Blacksmith shop?’

‘I’m not interested in that. I want to go back to the city.’

‘Oh… I came from the city, too. My dad moved the family to this village because he was going to study plants. I felt lonely at first. But the people here are all very kind.’

‘I don’t feel lonely. But I can’t find what I want to do in this village.’

‘What is it you want that you can’t find here?’

‘Well, it’s…oh, nothing…’

‘My mother always says that if you can’t find what you want to do, then do what you can see to do now. Nobody finds what they want immediately. But if you waste your time every day because of that, you’ll never find anything... To tell you the truth, I haven’t found what I’m looking for yet, either. See you.’

— Mary and Gray’s conversation from Harvest Moon: Back To Nature

SONG: Somewhere Over the Rainbow by Judy Garland

MOVIE: The Wizard of Oz (1939)

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Pile 1 – Welcoming Love, True Love

VIBE: Ready for Your Love (feat. MNEK) by Gorgon City

end of a struggle – King of Swords

You’ve been incredibly and marvellously responsible for…quite a number of years, I think? For some of you maybe a couple of months or so. But your struggles have ended; nearing ending; or you just haven’t realised yet how everything has changed for the better now. If you take a moment to really notice yourself, I’m sure you can tell just how much clearer you’ve become about many things pertaining to your surrounding and sense of Self. I feel you’ve worked really hard to overcome excessive trauma noises that have caused you a great deal of psychological pain.

Starting this year, you can feel more confident in your intellectual capacity to gauge situations right in front of you. Making choices will be a lot easier now because you’re clear about who you are as a person and what it is you truly want out of your own existence. You’ve clearly set enough boundaries with those who didn’t have your best interest. Seems to me you’ve learnt the hard way to be more selfish in the spirit of self-preservation. And so, the adventure of a lifetime begins right this moment.

In fact, I feel like your entire Life up until this point has been quite the adventure—only it has been filled with sorrow and misery, sorta. Surely it was your Hero’s Journey taking shape for the early chapters of your Life’s Story. A slow burn of a lifetime, if you will. Beginning this year, you’re entering the most exciting part of your rise to glory and everlasting happiness!

in your favour – 8 of Pentacles

You’ve been hustling behind the scenes for the most part. At least, those who aren’t close to you will never know just how much work you’ve put into bettering your world from the inside out. You worked so much on your mindset; you must’ve exercised a lot, too; tried to eat more cleanly and healthily; worked on your glow-up; brushed your skills; etc. You were investing in yourself for the future vision you’ve always held close to your heart. And for that reason, the seeds are now blooming.

You’re making me think of the bamboo plant. Did you know that a bamboo seedling takes around 5-7, maybe even 8-10, years to gestate underground? All alone in the dark without anyone knowing what’s going on down there. And when the seedling shoots up to the surface, the bamboo plant is famous for being the fastest growing plant there ever is.

So yeah~ fast or no fast in your mind, the point is that you’ve done the work on yourself and all the plans you’ve ever had for your Life. This year, 2+0+2+4=8, is the year you reap all the rewards and grow even faster from where you are now. Whatever undertaking you begin this year will gain traction super fast! Pat yourself on the back because when things get super good, you deserve to take a small break and just enjoy how far you’ve come~! Breathe~

catching stars – Page of Wands

Your Story is totally far from finished. With the Page aenergy—a kid’s aenergy—you’re only on the precipice of entering a Life of passion and purpose. You could almost say, it’s a new Story altogether just because this chapter of your Life is SO SO SO super good in comparison to the chapters about your struggles. I guess you’d call this a new arc huehue

You’re young Hercules now. Pretty soon, there will occur some big event that propels you into a bona fide hero, and then, you’ll meet your Megara~ This part of your Story is where you enter a circle of true—at least truer—friends and lovers who will motivate you throughout the next chapters of your Life. Sure, sure, struggles don’t just end, poof, like that and you will continuously need to learn to sift through these new breeds of friends and acquaintances. But that’s also part of your next level growing up, so don’t sweat the possibilities XD

Throughout 2024, you could be moving to a new environment and then meet new friends. Highkey you’re gonna be meeting Soulmates and Soul Fam members; these are the people who resemble you so much either on the inside or outside. These are people who think like you, care about the same things as you; basically you’re gonna finally feel like you truly belong somewhere on this Planet. Love is in the air because you’ve been giving so much Love to yourself before this point. You are Love. You emanate Love wherever you go because you love yourself, and thus you become a magnet for people who also will love you just as good~

APPLE STRUDEL🔻💛

honey lemon juice – Silver Magus (Merlin)

have a sweet time, honey – Priestess of Love

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Pile 2 – Rising Up to Accept Yourself Wholly

VIBE: She Said from Kamikaze Girls

end of a struggle – Knight of Cups

You’ve kinda just gone through a death of a paradigm of sort. I feel that in the past, you simply didn’t really know who you were or what you were meant to be. This confusion of an identity was caused by your parents/caretakers not really appreciating you for who you were as a child or it could also be caused by your environment, race, culture, custom, tradition, stuff like that. It wasn’t your fault, you know. You literally grew up on your own and finally got clear about your own identity—you stopped caring if your real identity is too weird, too eccentric for this world.

Basically, you got tired of rejecting yourself. And you realised that you were doing that because you knew others wouldn’t accept you. Then you realised people are shitty and lame for the most part anyway, so you learnt to be OK with embracing all of your weird heart’s little desires. And you nurtured yourself and nurtured yourself until you rose above the lameness of most of Humanity. Did you know? You did the right thing, really. Through and through.

You’re definitely an Advanced Soul. I think even when you were a kid you always felt like there was some spirit/shadow parental figure walking behind you, guiding your thought processes. This older/bigger unseen figure was really just your own Higher Self, you know :D More than others would give you credit for, you’ve been such a good gal/boi for always listening to the guidance of your Higher Self~

in your favour – 3 of Pentacles

Beginning this year, you’re going to finally meet people who are similar to you. Similar as in, you’re going to meet a lot of colourful characters, really. People who also feel somewhat like society’s outcast. These people are going to come from various backgrounds and they will each have very interesting back stories and life experiences that will entertain you for a long time. These people could also have very strange, unusual hobbies that will spark your interest in new, alien pursuits.

With that said, this year could be the year you begin a new passion project of your own, with these people, new friends, you share a vision with. They do care about you and want to succeed together, so you can trust that these connections are going to bear sweet feelings for you. Most importantly, this year you’re going to know the sweet feeling of doing something meaningful with your natural talents born out of your innate interests. When you finally get the money, you will first and foremost taste gratitude from those who seem to love and enjoy what you do or have to offer~

Life really is getting better now because you’ve mustered the courage to explore your possibilities in all your eccentricity. Your Higher Self never meant for you to fit in anyway. You were always meant to be some sort of a genius trailblazer—a source of inspiration for the other lameass Humans who are too afraid to be themselves.

catching stars – 10 of Pentacles

What more can be said? On top of embracing yourself fully, loving yourself wholeheartedly, and meeting kindred spirits, you’re also going to gain a massive amount of money! Life’s always good when you have a lot of money! More money means a happier heart and more to share as well. But in your case, if you’ve chosen this Pile as your main pile, know that before a lot of money even trickles into your reality, it is the sense that you’re serving your Life Purpose what will make you feel rich.

After all, there could people reading this who came from a wealthy background and you may think you don’t crave or even care about money. Exactly. You never cared about a lack of money but didn’t you struggle with grounding yourself to this Reality because you didn’t know what you were put on Earth to do? This ‘10 of Pentacles sense of abundance’ encompasses a sense of material abundance that feels deserving; you can now feel worthy of getting paid for some passionate, incredible, show-stopping contribution you’ve made to society. Isn’t that such a wonderful feeling?

Some of you reading this could mend some broken bonds with family; some others could finally find a tribe—a Soul Family—and feel that you belong; some could start a family of your own with someone worthy of your high-grade affection. Congratulations~! You’ve really made it this far~ Things can only get better and better from here♥︎

APPLE STRUDEL🔻💗

honey lemon juice – Green Historian (Herodotus)

have a sweet time, honey – Priestess of Patience

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Pile 3 – Stepping On the Pedestal of Destiny

VIBE: Cheer Up, Charlie from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

end of a struggle – King of Pentacles

If you’ve chosen this as your main pile, I just know it that you’ve been working so hard on yourself, on a level that’s practically incomprehensible for most people. I’m sure you’ve survived so many deaths of the spirit—and perhaps even some of the more dramatic attempts. And you’ve come on top of your misery now. You’ve gotten healthier and clearer about where you’re going next. I sense sometimes you still doubt yourself but it isn’t a sin to doubt, it’s just a sign that you want to do well. And on so many levels, sometimes you’re afraid because you genuinely want this dream/vision to happen to you.

I assure you with this reading that you’re on the fast track towards a rendezvous with Destiny. Fast…is honestly relative to each Soul’s blueprint tho XD Time is on your side and what’s meant for you can’t miss you. So chillax, OK? One thing to know about this great dream/vision of yours is that you’re going to see it manifest because you’re different from the rest. Different in that you want to see it manifest to be of service to the rest! When you really think about it…

Don’t you just know from deep within your Soul that you’re deserving of this great destiny? It’s because you’re going to serve a massive purpose with it! So many people would benefit from your realising this dream. And that’s the very thing! You’ve been holding on to this vision, and you want it, because you’re MEANT for it.

in your favour – 4 of Cups

I’ll be referencing the 1971 ver. of Willy Wonka here. And honestly, I think you should watch it by the weekend or something because that movie’s whole vibe will feel tremendously validating to you, I sense hahah

Have you heard of the theories that say Charlie was literally singled out by Willy Wonka from the very beginning? That he had chosen all of those horrible brats because he wanted to punish, oops, teach them a lesson, and that principally he had been watching Charlie and wanted HIM to inherit the Chocolate Factory. If you watch the 1971 film you’ll literally get it! And with this 4 of Cups, know that that’s how the Universe feels about you stepping into your destiny. Willy Wonka, or God idk, doesn’t want anybody else but YOU to fulfil this role~!

You’ve literally been chosen and singled out by the Universe to win the grand prize! Just so you know, as I’m typing these words I literally have the Willy Wonka movie playing on another window and as I typed ‘grand prize’, the person in the movie is saying it right at the same time at around the 19:11 minute mark. Things can’t get any more synchronous than that!🤯

This year, you’ll really see how every single thing is going to work out in your favour. And knowing the inner work you’ve done on yourself, I’m sure you’re spiritually mature enough to sense, to notice every small nudge that tells you what you need to do at a given time😊New adventures are just around the corner, baby~!

catching stars – 5 of Pentacles

So you see, how is 5 of Pentacles appearing for a segment about you catching stars? This is, in fact, reaffirming that your dream come true will also serve as a salve for those who are wounded and hurting. You really are a medicine for this sick world. This year, you’re going to see serendipitous events and meetings what will open the door towards the physical manifestation of your dream Reality. Once you step on to the pedestal of Destiny, there’s no stopping you. You’ll be moving so fast it drives you mad!

This card is also saying you must be careful of possible leeches coming towards you; it’s best to use caution and discernment when revealing to others your plans and goals. Be stingy with information as per your gut instinct’s nudges, OK? Be mature enough to know not everybody will be happy at the prospect of your massive success that could potentially change Mankind. People get envious of such ideas, alright? Be careful not to hit the already low self-esteem of some people around you LMAO

I also feel that this year you will begin new routines that benefit your health and physical strength. If this is something you’ve been working on, you will see this year that the implementation of these routines feels more natural and effortless. You’ve managed to master your thoughts, emotions, and time management—or soon to do. Money will also come more abundantly, so all your basic needs are easily met. You’ve become a magnet for good luck—or soon to notice you’ve done so!🍀

APPLE STRUDEL🔻🧡

honey lemon juice – Red Astronomer (Johannes Kepler)

have a sweet time, honey – Priestess of Innocence

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

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[moonchild9350]

Swipe Right for Love

Summary: You decided to take a chance at love, with the help of a dating app.

Pairing: nonidol Minho x fab reader x nonidol Jisung

Genre: smut- 18+ please MDNI

Word Count: 7k

Warnings: brief alcohol usage, oral sex (m & f receiving), fingering (m & f receiving), mention of pubic hair, anxiety (for like two seconds), p in v penetration, anal sex, creampie (wrap it up, wrap it up), mxm action, cum eating/cum swapping, i think that's it haha

Note: I love minsung omg. I'd love to swipe right on them lol. This is lightly edited so please excuse any typos. Anyhoo I hope you like it! Likes, reblogs, and comments appreciated :)

If you'd like to be added to the taglist let me know! (must have age in bio or pinned to be added)

Please do not copy, translate, modify, use, or repost this work elsewhere without my permission. ©moonchild9350 (2024)

“Find love here on Love Chat! Where millions of happy couples found love.”

You read on your phone, lost in thought, wondering if you should redownload a dating app. After being single for a while, you felt you were ready to get back into the dating game. The only problem was that you remembered how exhausting dating can be, especially in the early stages.

Tapping your fingers on your desk, you wrestled with the decision. You knew you wouldn’t be able to find anyone without a little help from an app as you were always either at work or at home, not much of a social person. However, after attending yet another friend’s engagement party, you felt that you should at least try to get back out there…you definitely weren’t getting younger.

“Fuck it,” you thought, pressing download on the app. You waited for the blue circle to fill in, signaling it was down downloading. Opening the app, you were greeted with the welcome page, prompting you to make a profile. You had to admit you enjoyed making a profile, choosing fun phrases and answers to questions, and adding your best pictures.

Once you were done creating your profile, you were prompted to start swiping on potential matches. You tucked your feet under your butt and began to look for potential matches. You swiped right on a few, not overly impressed, but at least what they answered on their profile met your minimum standards.

Your thumb was starting to get tired, about to close the app for the day when a particular profile caught your eye.

Minho and Jisung Age 25 and 23. About us: We are a happy couple looking for our 3rd counterpart to complete our relationship. We love to cook, sing, camp, and just spend quality time together. Serious inquiries only and must not be allergic to cats.

You’re not sure why their profile interested you. You definitely weren’t looking for more than one significant other…right? You exited the app, not completely closing it out and set your phone down. You tuned into the tv show you were watching, but you couldn’t focus. Your mind kept going back to the profile you just saw.

No, definitely not a good idea to get involved with two people…a couple at that, you thought. Your internal dialog with yourself caused your interest to pique. Grabbing your phone once more, you opened the app, the profile still on the page. You looked through the pictures, seeing the two men enjoying various activities. They were both gorgeous, that was a fact. One had pretty tanned skin, dark brown hair, a beautiful smile with cute little teeth that reminded you of a bunny. The other had honey toned skinned with brown hair as well. What really stood out though was his cheeks. They reminded you of a squirrels cheeks.

Figuring you had nothing left to lose, you swiped right on their profile, letting out a sigh, closing the app completely, and setting your phone down. Looking up at the tv screen, you continued to watch your show, although you couldn’t comprehend what was being said, your mind elsewhere.

All day, you kept checking your phone, seeing if you had any notification from the app saying you matched with anyone…particularly the couple Minho and Jisung. You admitted to yourself you were intrigued, but tried not to think about it too much.

Your plan was somewhat successful, not looking at your phone frequently. You decided to clean, knowing that would keep your mind occupied. As you were twirling around your kitchen belting out "The View" from your favorite band Stray Kids, broom in hand, you heard your phone chime and vibrate on the counter where you set it last.

Turning down the music, you walked over to your phone and viewed the notification on your lock screen. What you saw made you gasp. They accepted your match. You shook your head in disbelief, but there it was, the proof, they matched with you. Opening up the notification, you were brought to the message page. Taking a deep breath, you clicked on the unread message.

~Hey y/n! What’s up? Happy we matched. If you’re interested, wanna meet up over coffee to talk? Might be easier to explain the situation in person :)~

You read the message, then read it again. They want to meet up with you. Shaking your head, you typed out

~sure I’d love to meet you. Coffee sounds great.~

You read the message you wrote and then pressed send, placing your phone back on the counter. Within seconds, you got a reply. Opening the message you read,

~Awesome! Let’s meet at Red Bird Cafe this Friday at 1pm.~

You checked your calendar, noticing nothing was on the schedule. You responded back with a

~sounds good. See you guys then.~

You were crazy, yep, definitely crazy, meeting up with two men. ****************************************************Friday morning, you woke up, sun shining in your face. You groaned at the time. Your best friend Mina would be over soon to help you get ready for your date. Getting up, you padded your way to the bathroom to relieve yourself and start getting ready. While in the bathroom, you heard a key in the lock, your best friend’s voice echoing through the apartment.

“Hey bestie,” she called out.

You looked up and saw your friend plop down on your bed.

“So what are you gonna wear? You gotta look hot!”

“It’s just a coffee date Mina, I don’t exactly have to be dressed in a ballgown.”

“ Well no, you don’t. But you wanna snag these men girl, I mean they are hot.”

You laughed listening to your friend’s reasoning. For her, it was all about looks, but you wouldn’t mind having a personal connection with the next guy…or men you date. Walking into your bedroom, you made your way to your closet. You pulled out a plain, blue shirt and paired it with some shorts.

“How about this?”

Mina looked at you for a moment before saying, “absolutely not. There’s no charm in that outfit.”

She got up off the bed, walking to your closet. She went through your clothes before pulling out a floral dress.

“This. Wear this. It’s beautiful, looks good on you and provides easy access.”

“Ummm, I don’t think I’ll need something for easy access. It’s a coffee date.”

“You never know,” she said with a smirk on her face. “Wear cute panties too,” she added on with a wink.

You rolled your eyes, but took the dress. You picked out a cute pair of underwear and started getting dressed. It was a pretty dress, it had spaghetti straps, and hugged your curves just right, landing perfectly mid-thigh. Mina helped you with your hair and makeup, opting for a more natural look. Your hair hung down your back in waves.

Mina gave you a look over, nodding her head in satisfaction. You grabbed your bag before walking to the door.

“Let me know all the details!”

“Of course Mina,” you smiled, making your way out the door. ***************************************************The cafe wasn’t far from your apartment; therefore, you decided to walk there. You were nervous so to say. Once arriving, you took a deep breath, opened the door, and walked in. The smell of coffee hit your nose, the scent welcoming. There were tables filled with people, some working on their laptops, others laughing freely with friends. There were also couches with chairs, giving a more cozy feel. It was a nice atmosphere. You scanned the place, looking for your dates, finally spotting them on a couch in the back, nestled by a window.

You took a moment to observe them. The one with dark brown hair and bunny teeth had his arms around the other with chubby cheeks and boba eyes. Boba eyes said something to the other, both of them laughing afterwards. They looked so in love. How were you supposed to potentially fit into this? An outsider? Walking over to the couple, you stopped in front of them. Both men looked up at you, looking you up and down. You shifted on your feet at their gaze.

“Y/n?” the one with bunny teeth asked.

You nodded your head, looking down and twiddling your hands together. You looked up to see them both smile at you.

The one with boba eyes and chubby cheeks gestured at the seat behind you. You sat down, smoothing down your dress.

“Nice to meet you, y/n. I’m Minho,” the man with dark brown hair and bunny teeth said, “and this is Jisung,” he gestured at the man next to him, who gave a wave and flashed a smile.

You smiled back at them, lost in Minho’s voice. “So, you’re looking for,” you thought for a moment of the right word to say. “Another significant other?”

Minho nodded. “Yes, we’ve been dating for five years and decided to open up our relationship for one more. We feel that we’re missing the missing piece in our relationship.”

You nodded at his response, mind running at top speed.

“So like, how does this work?” You asked.

“Well we get to know you and if it seems right, you’d become our girlfriend.” Jisung answered.

“Why don’t we start by getting coffee, and then we can chat,” Minho said.

“Ok” you said, getting up with Jisung to get coffees.

“Minho will stay here so we don’t lose our spot,” Jisung explained.

You both walked to the counter, ordering three iced americanos. Jisung glanced at you, smiling his gummy smile, big boba eyes shining.

“Don’t be nervous,” he said, “we really want to get to know you, ok? No funny business,” he said, holding up his hands in surrender.

You laughed at his statement. How could someone look so adorable? At that moment, your drinks were placed at the pickup counter. You grabbed yours while Jisung grabbed his and Minho’s. You both walked back and sat back down.

You chatted with the boys, learning all their favorites and even how they met. You also watched them interact with each other, how they seemed to flow with each other, in tune with the other’s actions. They seemed very much in love, and your mind couldn’t help but wonder how it would look if you were apart of their relationship. ***************************************************Time went by. You were lost in conversation with the couple, but all good things must come to an end. They offered to walk with you, which you agreed. Was it dumb to let two men walk you home that you just met? Probably, but who listens to reason. Plus, you felt comfortable with them.

You showed them the way, with you in the middle of the two as you walked to your apartment. It felt natural to be in between the two, like you had been a part of the relationship for years too. Approaching your apartment building, you stopped at the door.

“Well, this is me,” you said gesturing to the building.

Minho and Jisung nodded, looking at the building, before looking back at you. You twiddled your thumbs, rocking back and forth on your feet. Before you could stop yourself, you blurted out, “would you like to come upstairs?”

The boys smiled and Minho said, “sure.”

You led them into the building, pressing the elevator button. Once the door opened, the three of you stepped in. You pressed the number 4 for your floor. You noticed how Minho was slightly behind you, and Jisung next to you. The tension was thick in the air, almost palpable. You turned your head, looking at Jisung. He looked at you, his eyes seeming bigger, if that was possible, before looking down at him your lips. You returned the look, eyes gazing at his soft, plump lips.

Jisung leaned forward slowly, stopping right before touching your lips.

“Can I kiss you?” He whispered.

You whispered “yes” back.

With your permission, Jisung pressed his lips to yours, sighing into your lips. You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding in. He pressed soft kisses against your lips again and again and again. You found yourself chasing after his lips each time he withdrew his head.

Your heart was pounding, not believing you were kissing Jisung. Yet alone kissing someone who was in a relationship, and their significant other standing right there watching. The elevator dinged, signaling you were at your floor. Stepping back, you cleared your throat.

“Umm, this is my floor,” you said, tucking a piece of hair behind your ears.

Minho and Jisung both looked at you before exiting the elevator, you in tow. You showed them the way to your apartment. Fumbling with the key, you eventually got it into the lock, unlocking your door and swinging it open. Once everyone was inside, you closed the door and placed your keys on the hallway table.

You all stood there in silence, that tension in the air again. Minho finally stepped up to you, brushing your cheek with the back of his hand.

“You ok, kitten?” he asked.

You nodded your head yes. Minho smiled at you, before taking your hand and gesturing for you to lead them further inside. You brought them to your living area, sitting on the couch, both boys following suit. Minho grabbed your chin, turning your head toward him before pressing his lips to yours. He licked and nipped your bottom lips, your mouth opening as he pushed his tongue into your mouth.

As you were kissing Minho, you felt a soft pair of lips brush against your shoulder before pressing a wet kiss there. You softly moaned at the sensation, Minho smiling into your lips at the sound. He pulled back, watching as you tilted your head to the side, giving Jisung more access.

“Hmm kitten is needy?” Minho said. He grinned at you as you looked at him through hooded eyes.

“Come here,” he motioned, helping you turn around to face Jisung. Jisung was looking at you, pupils huge, and cheeks flushed.

“Lay back jagi,” Jisung said, pushing you back gently so your back rested against Minho.

Minho got comfy behind you, his hands rubbing up and down your arms. You relaxed in his embrace, more comfortable than you probably should be. Whatever was about to happen, you were ready.

“Can I take care of you, jagi?” Jisung asked you.

You looked at him, giving him a smile, said yes.

Jisung smiled back at you before laying on his belly. He parted your legs, your dress covering your core. Jisung pressed kisses up your leg, nipping and squeezing the flesh. You sighed out softly, watching the man in front of you. Minho grabbed your hands in his at that moment, resting them on your belly, watching as Jisung made his way higher and higher up your leg, reaching your plush thighs.

He looked at you before grabbing the hem of your dress, and flipping it up, exposing your core to his eyes. You blushed as he stared, feeling your slick coat your panties. You’d have to thank Mina later for making you wear your cute pair.

Jisung leaned forward once more, breathing in your smell, before pressing a kiss to your clothed core. You shivered at the feeling, Minho squeezing your hands at your action.

“Go on Ji, give her what she wants,” you heard Minho rasp out.

Jisung licked a stripe up your panties, sucking on the material, drenching it with his spit. You squirmed at the feeling, letting out little sighs. He moaned out against your core, before licking at your covered clit. He nipped at the material, sucking the cloth and bud into his mouth. He gave one more kiss on your soaked panties before reaching up to drag them down your legs. You watched with bated breath as he tossed them away before opening your legs up more, one hanging off the couch, the other pressed into the back of the couch.

He was staring at your wet pussy, slick sticking to the hair that donned your nether region. You blushed and tucked your head into Minho as best as you could, embarrassed and a little self-conscious. You closed your legs some before Jisung stopped you, looking up at you with concerned eyes.

“What’s wrong kitten?” Minho asked, taking his hands to rub up and down your shoulders to soothe you once more.

You hesitated before saying, “well I haven’t shaved.” You covered your eyes with your hand.

“But jagi, your pussy is beautiful, and the hair makes it even more so!” Jisung said.

You uncovered your face, looking at Jisung. “You don’t mind?”

“Absolutely not jagi. Like I said, it’s beautiful and sexy.”

You nodded ok and watched as Jisung reached for your legs, looking at you for silent permission to continue.

“Go ahead,” you whispered.

Jisung gently pushed your legs open once more, before leaning down. He opened up your lips with his fingers, before licking a stripe from your entrance to your clit. You moaned out, hips bucking at the feeling. Your hand flew to Jisung’s hair, grabbing hold of the strands, pushing his face further into your pussy.

Jisung licked a few more stripes up your pussy before attaching his plump lips to your clit, rolling the bud around his tongue. He leaned back to spit on your pussy, watching as it mixed with your slick, before wrapping his lips around your clit once more. He suckled the bud, rolling it with his tongue, making out with your pussy like a man starved.

You closed your eyes, getting lost in the feeling, gripping Jisung’s hair harder in your hands. You rode his tongue, whining out, whimpering his name. Behind you, you felt as Minho slowly slid your dress straps down your shoulders, pushing them down to expose your breasts. Minho groped and pinched your nipples, while Jisung slid two fingers into your pussy, causing your back to arch at the intrusion.

Jisung slid his fingers in and out of your warm walls before curling his fingers up, pressing against your sweet spot. You rocked your hips in time with his fingers, letting out breathy moans. Minho fondled your nipples, giving them a pinch every now and then. You felt your orgasm approaching with the help of the two men.

“Keep, keep going,” you breathed out, “don’t stop.”

Jisung moaned into your pussy, speeding up the thrusting of his fingers. With a lick and bite of your clit, you came hard, loud moans spilling from your mouth. You rode out your high, sporadically rocking your hips against Jisung’s face. Minho continued to grope and knead your breast, whispering sweet praises in your ear as you came down.

You relaxed your hold on Jisung’s hair, watching as he lifted his head up and sat back. Your slick and his spit was dripping down his chin, your arousal painting his lips, leaving them shiny. He grinned at you before leaning over and pressing his lips against Minho’s. You looked up in awe at the two men above you, feeling yourself getting aroused again. Jisung leaned back and pressed a kiss to your lips next. It was gentle, his lips molding with yours. You could taste yourself and Minho on his lips. You wrapped your arms around his neck, not wanting him to stop.

He grinned against your lips, gave you one more peck before sitting down next to you.

“Let me clean you up jagi,” he said, walking to your kitchen to get a towel.

He came over and wiped you down before picking up your panties and putting them back on. He fixed your dress for you and helped you sit up.

Sitting there, you were confused to say the least. Looking at their bulges, you could tell they were both hard and were sure it was not exactly comfortable. You wanted, no, needed to help them out.

“What about you guys?” you asked.

Minho just shook his head. “Don’t worry kitten. You can help us out next time.”

Next time. There would be a next time. You felt happy at that thought. You knew they would not be leaving your mind anytime soon. You nodded your head, a little smile spreading on your face.

Minho brushed the back of his hand down the side of your face, whispering “beautiful.” You leaned into his palm, sighing happily at his praise. Jisung looked over your shoulder at Minho, giving him a smile, unspoken words in his eyes. Minho knew exactly what Jisung was thinking, that you were the one, the person they were looking for to complete them.

“Well kitten, this has been fun. Can we see you again?” Minho asked.

“Yes!” you answered a little too quickly and enthusiastically. Clearing your throat in embarrassment, you said in a more calm voice, “I’d like that.”

Both boys chuckled, getting up from your couch. Jisung helped you up, steadying you as you wobbled a little. You walked them to the door, watching as they put their shoes on. They each gave you a kiss and said they’d be in touch for the next date. Closing the door behind them, you leaned back against the door. You cannot believe your day. You had to phone Mina immediately. ****************************************************A little while later, you and Mina were sitting on the floor, take out containers spread out around you. Mina opted to come over to have a girls night, and of course, to hear you spill the details of your date.

“They were so sweet, Mina. I mean, they are in love, you can definitely tell.” You explained. “At first I couldn’t see how I could fit in, but as the date went on, it felt….natural being with them? I guess that’s the word for it.” You chuckled.

“Well you are a catch,” Mina said tossing her hair over her shoulders, “they’d be dumb not to like you.”

“And afterwards, we came back here,” you tailed off.

“You came back here and what?” Mina questioned, setting her food down. She looked you in the eyes, all ears at what you were about to say.

“We kissed in the elevator and my god the tension was intense, Mina. Once we got in my apartment, one thing led to another, and before you know it, Jisung was eating me out.”

Mina started clapping her hands, “yes girl! And you said nothing was going to happen.” She smirked and picked up her food.

You truly were stunned at today’s events, your mind wandering to Jisung’s lips on your clit and Minho’s hands pinching your nipples.

“Earth to y/n!”

You snapped out of your reverie to see your friend wavering her hand in front of your face.

“You were thinking of your boos huh,” Mina chuckled.

“They’re not my boos…not yet at least.” You said blushing.

“You said yet! You want to be their girlfriend don’t you! Don’t lie y/n it’s all over your face!” Mina patted you on the back.

You did want to be their girlfriend. It was difficult to explain, but you felt like they were what you were looking for. Your phone buzzed. Looking down, you saw it was Minho. You grabbed your phone and read the text. They wanted to take you out again, this weekend, this time to a club.

“They want to go out this weekend,” you told Mina.

“Oh? Well we need to prepare your outfit!”

You responded to Minho agreeing to the date. You were happy having a friend like Mina since she was good at things like fashion and beauty, stuff you were never good at. ***************************************************The weekend came and so did the day of your date. You did your hair and makeup before putting on the dress Mina picked out for you. It was royal blue body con dress. You looked at yourself in the mirror, satisfied with the look, hoping the boys would like the look too. You grabbed your shoes and bag just as there was a knock at your door.

You opened the door and there they stood, looking absolutely gorgeous. You noticed them looking you over, little smirks forming on their faces.

“You look beautiful y/n” Jisung said grinning.

You said thank you before putting on your shoes. You locked your door and followed them out of your apartment building.

“We’ll take our car kitten,” Minho said.

You nodded, stepping aside as Jisung opened the door for you, sliding in beside you. Minho slid into the driver’s seat, starting the car. He pulled away from the curb, sliding smoothly into traffic. Watching him drive sparked something in you, which was stupid you knew, but watching the veins pop out of his hands as he maneuvered the wheel, the way he bit his lip every now and then as he watched the road….you were horny, no doubt about it.

Jisung scooted closer to you, giving you his gummy smile. You smiled back at him, his happiness contagious, watching as he reached out to grab your hand. He rubbed circles on your hand, which felt soothing. You relaxed into the seat, feeling comfortable. The destination wasn’t too far from your place. Minho pulled into a parking lot, parking the car (which was also hot to you). All three of you got out of the car and headed to the entrance.

Opening the door, the bass met your ears, lyrics of a popular rap song blaring throughout the room. There were people dancing in the middle of the room, while others were perched on couches that littered the corners of the place. Minho took your hand and led you through the crowd, Jisung’s hand perched on your lower back. He led you to one of the couches, a reserved sign placed on the table. All three of you sat down, a girl with a skimpy outfit coming by to get your drink orders. You ordered a vodka cranberry, sticking to the basics since you weren’t much of a drinker. Jisung ordered a twisted seltzer and Minho stuck to water being the driver.

You sat with the boys, being squished between the two, waiting on your drinks. They definitely like physical touch, you thought, which was no problem for you. Minho draped his arms around your shoulders, giving them a squeeze, while Jisung kept his hand on your thigh. Just their touch was causing sparks to shoot down your spine, settling in your core. Once your drinks came, you downed them before suggesting to go dance. The music was good, and you wanted to get on the dance floor.

“Sure kitten,” Minho said, getting up and reaching his hand out to you to help you get up, with Jisung right behind you.

The three of you made your way to the dance floor, settling amongst the bodies swaying to the music. Minho stood behind you, placing his hands on your hips, with Jisung in front of you. You draped your arms around Jisung’s neck, pulling him close. You swayed your hips in tune with the beat, feeling Minho pull you closer. After a while, all three of you were in synch, getting lost in the beat and each other’s arms. You felt your dress ride up slightly, allowing you to feel something hard press against your ass.

You pressed your ass back against Minho’s bulge, hearing his breath catch, and gripping your hips harder. Jisung smiled, watching Minho’s reaction. Jisung griped your chin before pressing a kiss on your lips, again and again. You loved his plush lips, the way they moulded perfectly with yours. You let out a whine, swiveling your hips once more against Minho’s. You’re not sure how much time passed, song after song passed, each moment getting more heated. You were wet, feeling your slick pool in your panties, causing them to stick to your pussy, a fluttery feeling spreading through your core with each touch and kiss from Minho and Jisung.

Eventually, Minho whispered in your ear, Jisung watching with his eyes wide and pupils dilated, “let’s take you home kitten, hmm?”

You nodded, more than ready to leave with them. Minho pressed a kiss to your shoulder before taking your hand once more, leading you out of the crowd, Jisung not far behind. You three quickly made your way to the car, Minho once more getting behind the wheel, Jisung sliding in next to you.

“Want go back to ours kitten?” Minho asked.

“Yes please,” you breathed out as Jisung peppered kisses up and down your jaw before slotting his lips over yours.

You returned the kiss eagerly, letting out a sigh at the feeling, tongues sliding against each other, as Jisung nipped at your lip. You took your hand and slide it down to Jisung’s bulge, giving it a squeeze, the boy whimpering against your lips. Popping open the button and unzipping his jeans, you slid your hand in his boxers, wrapping your hand around his cock, collecting the pre-cum that was leaking out. You looked into his eyes, seeing the need in his eyes, as you stroked his cock. You gave him a smile before leaning down and pressing a kiss to the tip, Jisung letting out a loud moan at the feeling. He opened his eyes, briefly making eye contact with Minho, before looking back down at you.

He gathered your hair so it wouldn’t get in the way as you bobbed your head, taking more of his length. He gently bucked his hips, sliding more of his cock into your mouth, hearing you moan, causing him to shudder at the vibration.

You suckled the head before lifting your head with a pop, Jisung whimpering at the sudden loss of the warmth of your mouth. You gathered some spit before spitting on his cock, spreading it around before taking him in your mouth once more. Hollowing out your cheeks, you sucked him off in earnest, loud, slick noises coming from your mouth. You felt Jisung moan and whine, his hips bucking up, causing his cock to kiss the back of your throat.

He gripped your hair harder, whimpering out, “don’t stop jagi..fuck, gonna cum. Keep going, fuck!”

You suckled his the tip once more, swiping your tongue over the slit before deep throating his cock. You felt him shudder, before he loudly came, cum shooting out of his cock and down your throat. You hummed around his cock, sucking him dry, feeling him squirm at the extra stimulation. Lifting your head with a pop, you opened your mouth so he could see his cum.

“Kiss me jagi,” he whimpered out.

You leaned forward, pressing your lips against his. he slid his tongue into your mouth, as you pushed some of his cum into his mouth. He groaned against your lips, tasting his cum before leaning back. You both swallowed, your chests heaving.

“God that was hot,” you heard a voice say behind you.

You turned your head, seeing Minho turned around in his seat, the car parked. You forgot that he was there, yet alone in a car, not noticing when you got to your destination.

“Let’s get inside kitten,” Minho smirked, watching as Jisung tucked his softened cock back in his boxers and zipped his pants back up. The boys took your hand, walking up to their apartment door, Minho unlocking the door. Stepping inside, you did a quick glance over of the place, noticing how comfy it seemed. Jisung skipped inside, kicking off his shoes before making his way to a room. Minho grabbed your hand and followed Jisung, entering what you assumed was their bedroom.

Jisung was already perched at the top of the bed, reclining against the mountain of pillows there. Minho slowly pushed you down, his eyes never leaving yours.

“It’s my turn to have some fun with you, hmm kitten,” Minho said, hovering over you.

“Yes, need you Min,” you said.

Minho smiled at the nickname, before leaning down and pressing his lips to yours. You sighed into the kiss, your lips gently moving with his. Minho dragged his fingers down your chest and belly, before lightly pressing down on your panties, sliding his fingers through your lips. You gasped at the feeling of your soaked panties dragging through your folds, letting out a little moan. Minho slowly rubbed at your clit, the soaked fabric providing the lubrication he needed to ease the glide. He continued to gently kiss you, muffling the soft sounds coming from your mouth.

He pushed your panties to the side, the pad of his finger finally making direct contact with the little bud, your hips slightly jerking upwards at his touch. He watched you fall apart as he slid his finger back and forth, up, down on your clit. He withdrew his fingers, a whimper leaving your lips. Grasping the band of your panties, he dragged them down your legs and tossed them aside. Minho parted your legs, eyes locking in on your pussy, shiny from the dripping arousal from your pussy. He licked his lips before leaning down to slide his tongue through your folds.

He moaned at your taste, burying his head further into your pussy, understanding what Jisung meant when he told him your pussy just tasted too good. Minho licked another strip up your pussy before latching onto your clit, giving it kitten licks before suckling the bud. He held your hips down as you squirmed, listening to the sweet moans falling from your mouth. Minho sucked at your clit once more before dragging his tongue down to your entrance, his tongue pushing into your warm walls.

Minho fucking your walls with his tongue felt so good, you could barely lay still, rocking your hips up and down. His nose brushed against your clit, providing stimulation, causing you to mewl out, that tingling feeling building up within you. Through your foggy haze, you saw movement to the side and turning your head, you saw Jisung scoot beside you, grasping your hand.

“Sungie kiss me,“ you begged, as Minho kept fucking your pussy with his tongue.

Jisung grinned, latching his lips onto yours, immediately sliding his tongue into your mouth, sucking on your tongue. Your moans got louder as you felt close, your hips wildly bucking upwards. You felt Minho finger at your clit, circling the bud. Your breath hitched up and with a loud cry, you came, your legs closing to squeeze against Minho’s head, as your walls clenched around his tongue. He kept tongue fucking you through your high, moaning into you. Jisung peppered your face with kisses, swallowing up your moans, his lips on yours once more.

You breathed out, releasing your hold on Minho’s head. He gave a feather light kiss to your clit before sitting up and leaning down to kiss you. You could taste your arousal on his lips, groaning at the taste. He leaned back before leaning over to kiss Jisung, letting him have a taste of you too. You watched as your breathing returned to normal, grinning at the desperation between the two.

Minho and Jisung separated before turning to you.

“Let’s get this dress off jagi,” Jisung said reaching to unzip the back of the dress.

Minho stood up removing his shirt and pants, tossing them haphazardly in the room. You shimmied out of the dress, Jisung helping you the whole time. Laying naked on their bed, the boys stared at you, taking in your beauty.

Jisung brushed his fingers against your breasts, blowing on each one of them in turn, causing your nipples to harden. He repeated the action a few times, before kneading one of your breasts, leaning down to take a nipple in his mouth. He sucked and sucked, darting his tongue out to lick the mound, all the while fondling the other. Sighing at the feeling, you looked up to see that Minho had removed his boxers, his cock hard and leaking.

“I’m going to fuck you now kitten,” Minho said, spreading your legs more so he could settle between them.

He stroked his cock a few times, watching as Jisung sucked at your breasts. He slid his cock through your folds, gathering your slick, before tapping your clit a few times. Placed his cock at your entrance, he slowly pushed in, your walls stretching to accommodate his cock. The stretch felt good, a mixture of pleasure and pain. Minho bottomed out and stilled, looking down at you in concern.

“Move, please move,” you whimpered, lifting your hips up for some friction.

Minho pulled out before pushing in, his cock dragging along your walls. It felt so wet and warm, he didn’t want to pull out and he wouldn’t. He wanted to live within your walls. He started to snap his hips into yours, moans leaving his mouth and yours. The sight below him a dream. You were fucked out, mouth open, eyes in a daze, one hand on his chest, the other buried in Jisung’s hair as he suckled and nipped at your breasts.

You felt that tingle again in your belly, the feeling expanding as Minho fucked you, pounding into you in a steady rhythm, hitting your sweet spot with each thrust. You moaned out, whimpering, little “ahhhs” and “please” leaving your lips.

“Don’t stop, I’m close, ahhh” you whined.

You felt the coil snap, your orgasm hitting you hard. Your vision turned white, while your hearing turned fuzzy. Minho didn’t stop pounding into you, helping you ride out your high. He was close, he just needed to adjust a little and with your pussy clenching around him, he came, his cum hitting your walls, throwing his head back at the feeling, little bunny teeth showing.

He stilled his hips, and looked down at you and Jisung. Jisung lifted his head off your breast with a pop, a string of spit trailing from his mouth to your nipple. Jisung’s cock was hard again, and rutting his hips against the sheets to get some friction.

You moaned as Minho pulled out of you, watching as Jisung shuffled his way down to your pussy. He leaned down and quickly lapped up you and Minho’s cum, moaning at the taste. Minho laid down next to you, brushing the hair out of your face. You looked at him with glassy eyes, feeling at ease and relaxed, little sighs falling from you as Jisung lapped at you like it was his last meal.

Leaning back, Jisung wiped his mouth before shucking off his boxers, palming his cock before settling between your legs.

“My turn jagi,” he whispered.

You nodded, saying “need you Sungie please.”

He smiled down at you before pushing in, sliding right in because of your slick and being stretched open by Minho’s cock. Jisung was a little thicker, but you took it, wanting to feel all of him. Jisung bottomed out, whines and pants coming from his mouth.

“So hot and wet, made for us jagi, oh fuck”

Jisung snapped his hips again and again, lost in your wet walls, your body sliding up and down the sheets, mouth open in an “o” no sound coming out. Tears were forming in your eyes from the mix between pleasure and pain from overstimulation.

You reached up and wrapped your arms around Jisung causing him to fall forward and bury his head in your neck. You felt his little breath’s against your neck as he rocked his hips into yours, you locking your legs around him to keep him close.

“Fu..fuck!” Jisung panted out, jolting forward suddenly.

You looked over his shoulder to see Minho behind Jisung, his fingers sliding in and out of his hole, stretching him out. Jisung pounded into you faster, his high approaching with the extra stimulation. With a wail, Jisung came, filling you up to the brim, his cum leaking out. Minho helped Jisung pull out before laying him on his belly, and pushing his cock into Jisung’s hole.

Jisung let out another wail, little pants falling from his mouth as Minho fucked him, sliding his cock in and out, in and out. You watched the scene in front of you, taking in Jisung’s fucked out face, the way he just took what Minho gave him, to Minho, panting as he pounded into Jisung, his chest rising and falling, his head falling back in pleasure.

Jisung came again, cries falling from his lips, as his cock was still hard after fucking you, cum spilling all over the sheets. Minho slipped out of Jisung, removing the condom that he must have put on at some point, you being too fucked out to notice, before lifting Jisung up and on his knees.

“Suck,” Minho said, Jisung scrambling to wrap his lips around Minho’s cock. Jisung bobbed his head up and down, while Minho grabbed Jisung hair to control his pace. Minho groaned in pleasure, bunny teeth biting his lip, as Jisung sucked and sucked, Minho’s cock hitting the back of his throat again and again.

Jisung fondled Minho’s balls, as he continued to suck, Minho roaring out in pleasure, speeding up his thrusts into Jisung’s mouth. With a loud moan, he stilled his hips, pressing Jisung’s face to his pelvis, spurting cum into Jisung’s mouth. Once done, he released Jisung, who scrambled back, showing Minho his tongue with his cum on it before swallowing it.

Minho smiled, leaning down to give Jisung a kiss. Collapsing on the bed, Jisung crawled to you, wrapping his hands around your waist and burying his head in your neck. Minho settled on the other side, pressing gentle kisses to your face, causing you to giggle. He smiled, the sound of your laughter like heaven to him.

“Will you be ours kitten? Be our girlfriend?”

You simply nodded your head, “of course.”

You felt the happiest you’ve been in a long time, sandwiched between two men you were growing to love.

Taglist: @jehhskz @jeonginsleftcheek

[unreleasedwrites]

hello hun!! it’s been a while since last time i ever sent request, sooo im kinda nervous👉🏻👈🏻

can i please ask for something soft with Gitae.. or not so soft…? like morning after smutty night together, while being in established relationships with him🙏🏻🫠

and i really love ur last smut with Gun!! its masterpiece i swear🫵🏻😳💋

Morning After

“Need some help with that?”

➬ 𝒐𝒖𝒕𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒆: Spending the morning after a rough night of pleasure with your boyfriend, Gitae. Which mostly consists of teasing, mocking, & suggestive lines from him— who is surprisingly soft and loving today.

🝮 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒆𝒓(𝒔) 𝒊𝒏𝒄𝒍𝒖𝒅𝒆𝒅: Kim Gitae x fem!reader

🜚 𝒄𝒘: established relationship, soft gitae, teasing, kissing, pet names, suggestive, swearing, fluff, sore from the night before

◷ Friday Evening, July 5 2024 - Friday Night, July 5 2024

“Where are you off to so early in the morning..?” Gitae groans as he felt you slip away from his arms, sitting up on your guys’ shared bed.

Lightly rubbing your eyes, you flutter your eyes open at him while he looks at you ever so lovingly.

“I want some water..” You whisper at him, still sleepy from the former hours’ events…

He raises a brow, “thats it..?”

You blink at him in confusion, “mm.. yes, d’you want some too?”

“..Baby I’ve already got some here,” Gitae says as he, too, sits up and grabs a bottle of water from the bedside table. He opens it up and hands it over to you.

You happily drink some and afterwards thank and return it to him. He proceeds to lay down and stare at you.

“What..?” You ask him, confused with him staring blankly.

“What my ass, get back into my arms.. idiot,” he scoffs as he pulls you down, enclosing you in his tight embrace.

You both fall back asleep and a few hours pass by. Eventually, you wake up again to be met with the sunlight shining ever so brightly. You’re still tired and wanna go back to sleep, but the brightness is pissing you off. Sure, you could just turn the opposite way, but it’s still bright either way and so you wanna fix it.

You carefully and gently slip out of Gitae’s tight hold on you once again, luckily enough— it’s loosened with the time that passed by while you two were fast asleep. You sit up on the side of the bed, trying to gain some composure and consciousness.

After about a minute of just sitting there, you try to stand up by holding the bed for support. But to no avail, you couldn’t and stumbled back onto the bed.

You lightly groan in slight pain, only now realizing how sore your legs felt. Not only your legs, but your entire body practically felt numb. Thanks to all the positions Gitae had you in for what felt like hours last night…

“This is the second time I’m asking this..” Gitae suddenly speaks out of nowhere, causing you to shriek at the sudden sound, “Where are you off to now, darling?”

You look over, staring at him all sleepy. You only hum in response, not wanting to get help again. He’s on his side while staring at you, who was now attempting to get up again… which once again, did not work out.

You ended up falling back onto the bed, causing you to lightly groan again from the soreness you were feeling.

At first, Gitae was only watching your sleepy figure do who knows what. But when he heard you groan, he knew it wasn’t a positive one.

He spoke in a more serious yet endearing tone, “what was that?”

“nothing..” You mumbled.

Gitae tsked at you, “you’ve got to tell me if you want some help, doll.” And that’s the thing, you didn’t want help— but you undeniably needed some.

“It’s just that my body kind of hurts still, you know.. from last night,” You said shyly, your face turning red from the embarrassment.

He started laughing at you, sitting up on the bed and moving closer to you. “and who’s fault is that?” He teased as he rested his head on your shoulder, rubbing your arm— causing you to have goosebumps from the sudden feeling.

Not to mention how you’ve just noticed how attractive his morning voice is.. raspy and deeper than usual.

“Baby, you never told me where you were trying to go.”

“I wanted to close the curtains.. the damn sunlight was bothering me.” You ran your hands through his morning hair.

“Why didn’t you just tell me?” He got off the bed and pulled the curtains together, causing the room to be much dimmer.

He sighed and looked over to you, “thank you, honey.. it’s just that I didn’t want to wake you up because I wanted to go back to sleep after.” You said, yawning afterwards.

“Back to sleep..?” Gitae asks while he checks the time on his phone, “It’s already past 10, you little baby.” He added as he went to squeeze your cheek. Admiring how cute you are, especially when you’re a little grumpy from not getting all your beauty sleep.

You only mumbled something inaudible as Gitae’s fingers wandered throughout your features, occasionally squeezing your cheek.

You try to get up again but fail to, Gitae only laughs again to which you pout at him.

“Gitae..” You whine almost helplessly.

“Fine, fine. M’sorry..” He plants a kiss on your forehead and adds, “Where to now, my pouty princess?” As he lifts you up bridal style.

“I need to use the bathroom, so could you just drop me off, pretty please?”

“Ooo, can I come?” He asks, almost softly.

“What does drop me off mean to you—? oh and, you ask me this same thing almost every morning now…”

“You never know.. maybe next time you’ll finally say yes, don’t you think?” He replies, all the while setting you down in the bathroom.

“What else you need help with, doll?”

“Nothing for now, but thank you for the help… meanie.”

He tsked at the name, “who’re you calling a meanie?””

“You’re the only other person here!” You replied.

Once you’ve finished using the bathroom, you stumbled your way to the sink to brush your teeth. You suddenly heard Gitae knocking at the door, “am I welcome yet?” He asked almost mockingly.

You laughed at the thought of someone like Gitae asking such things and replied with an “mhm! m’just about to brush my teeth!”

You heard the door open and he walked over to where you were, stood right behind you. He, too, brushed his teeth and you two eventually finished up in the bathroom and headed back out.

“You look adorable in my shirt, it fits you so well.” Gitae commented as you were wearing his shirt the entire night, which he put on you after your little activities. You only looked over to him and pouted, suddenly remembering of what took place last night.

He saw you were starting to feel a little less sore when you were able to stand up and stumble around without falling over. You went over to the large bookshelf in the bedroom and attempted to grab the book you were reading last night, before Gitae came home.

The only issue was that Gitae had been the one to put it away.. and so now you can’t reach it even when you’re on your tippy toes. You though to yourself how that idiot did this on purpose, to get a rise out of you— a reaction that he had planned for.

You sighed and looked around for a nearby chair that was high yet sturdy enough to help you out. Except you knew that even if you were to get one, you wouldn’t be able to use it without falling off.

Gitae watched in amusement, subtly laughing when he sees you try different methods and look around. Finally, he gives in and speaks up—

“Need some help with that?” He asked, practically teasing while he was already behind you.

You sigh yet again and look up to him by your side, nodding.

“Gonna need a ‘please sir’ if you wanna read the book that bad, sweetheart.”

“Could you please help your girlfriend out after your doing?”

“Still missing something, doll.”

“Not happening, please should’ve been more than enough! Meanie,” you replied with a pout.

He only laughed and finally gave you the book you wanted, but not before leaning down to plant a kiss on your forehead.

🜚 𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒆𝒔: yes i named it “morning after” when thats the literal request so what 😇 -100000 creativity points

oh and i searched this guy up and can we talk about how he is SEVEN FOOT TALL..? 💀

also i can’t take myself seriously when trying to finish up the reqs i have of this man because for one i cannot remember writing the “a planned coincidence” and i can’t bring myself to read it because it’s just so cringy guys 😭 let’s forget that ever existed !! 😁

- This is the first fic with my new layout / style hehe!! I have been badly wanting to change it for some time now so I am very happy that I finally did but now I gotta change all the dividers + fonts of what was in my drafts before I decided to change my layout & that takes a while to do 💔

--- With or without proper credits, please don't try to steal or claim any of my works as your own !

I genuinely appreciate any feedback such as comments, likes, and reblogs so very much!!

Once again, I hope this isn't too bad for a request and my requests are still closed but I swear i’m working on it !! 😭

[thewidowsledger]

Secret Behind Our Dreams

Chapter 10: Everything's Personal | 2.4k

© thewidowsledger 2024 - DO NOT REPUBLISH AND PLAGIARISE

Summary: You are a club dancer; a stripper. Natasha is a respected notorious mob boss. What would happen if your paths happened to cross one night? The only thing you knew about each other was your dreams, and neither of you knew what the other was.

Pairing: Mob Boss Natasha Romanoff x Stripper Female Reader

Warnings: 18+, bad writing, slow burn, angst, details of drugging, mean Yelena

Author's Note: This is my first time posting again after a year of abandoning this fic. I promise to post every week and expect 4 to 6 more chapters for this series, happy reading everyone!

Navigation | Masterlist | Series Masterlist

⧗

"I took a urine sample, you're right about drink spiking," he confirmed, his voice carrying a hint of concern. This isn't new to him or something of a big problem, but Strange felt that there is more to this situation and he couldn't help but to feel slightly alarmed.

"Yeah, I found her almost unconscious in the club," Natasha sighed, her eyes never settling, "What drug? Maybe I could identify the dealer or even the manufacturer, is it a party drug? M&M? Eccy? Something illegal here or no—"

Strange interrupted her gently, "Rohypnol, it's illegal for medical use." Strange crossed his arms and gave Natasha a concerned look, "In my line of work if I have my license it's called Flunitrazepam but in your world, well…our without license, it is known as a date-rape drug."

"What?" Natasha's jaw tensed as she absorbed the information. “Well I found her in a bar, these drugs can be commonly found in clubs so it makes total sense.”

Stephen Strange, known for his extraordinary medical skills, had earned a reputation not only among the general public but also among certain secretive circles. While he mostly focused on healing and saving lives, he had occasionally and secretly found himself providing medical assistance to individuals involved in criminal activities, including members in darker organized crime syndicates.

"I was shock she remembers a tiny bits of what happened to her, people who gets drugged by roach doesn't remember anything at all. She remembered mostly herself getting dragged and being thrown in a dark room," Strange then finally sat on the couch of Natasha's office, "She also remembers her shoulder burning like hell. And about that, I already cleaned and applied dressing on it. You should've brought her to me earlier. It's a 3rd degree burn, she could've gotten infections from and if she did I might have to perform wound debridement on her."

"I-I never saw it, Yelena did. She was the one who told me." Natasha slightly moved in her office chair, not comfortable as she shared the information.

"Family reunion, I see." Strange cocked his brow and once again took a glance at her.

Natasha huffed, "I'm way past that." She finally stood and made her way to a small corner of her office where she kept a personal stash of beverages. She poured a small amount into a glass, "I know you're a doctor and it's so early in the morning but care for a drink?" She slid the glass on her desk and gestured Strange to sit in the chair across her office chair.

"What's on her skin, the mark…it is something." He finally stood and grabbed the glass of whiskey before settling himself in front of Natasha. "Have you identified it yet?"

"No."

"You know you're in—"

Knowing what he was going to say, Natasha replied instinctively and immediately not allowing him to finish. "You don't need to remind me that, Stephen."

"You should know what you're going into, Natalia." Strange said, now they're both playing the game of using their real name, a gesture that reflected the seriousness of conversation. The air in the room seemed to grow heavier as they exchanged sharp glances.

"And I do." Natasha held her gaze on him, masking her frustration growing. "I always do, Stephen."

Strange sighed, his eyes never leaving Natasha's. He leaned forward to her, "This…" he circled the glass he's holding onto the table, "Whatever this is you're entering, it's dangerous and the stakes are higher than ever. I know you've faced countless situations before, but this…this is different. This is personal." He warned, he then reclined in his seat, both of his elbows were positioned at the chair's armrest. "You have to be careful, Natalia."

"Everything's personal, Stephen." She didn't flinch under Strange's cautionary words. There are only a few things Natasha resents: Being reminded of her vulnerabilities, being told of the things she's supposed to do and not to do, and on the top of her list, men. Natasha just nodded acknowledging Strange's concern.

"I'm just looking out for you."

"I know." Natasha replied softly.

"Well I think I'm done here, if something happened you know where to find me," he paused and finished his drink. "Well I do know where to find you too."

Natasha chuckled and apologized, "I'm sorry for making you go here without notice." But Strange waved it off, "I'll walk you out, Stephen."

As they both reached the door, they were surprised to find Yelena lounging on the couch.

"Family reunion, I see." Strange teasingly muttered against his breath. And his comment didn't go unnoticed by Natasha, who tried to maintain her composure despite her growing frustration for her sister once again.

"Hey, Doc." Yelena greeted lazily.

"Hi." He glanced at Natasha, noticing her stifled groans and huffs. "Don't kill her, I don't wanna overstay here." Strange jokes as he quickly puts on his suit.

"I'll try not to."

He couldn't help but chuckle at her response, he immediately shifted the topic not wanting to frustrate her more. "Clean and change the bandages every 4 hours, I already gave her some antibiotics and a pack of fine mesh gauze. It'll heal probably in 2 weeks or so."

As soon as the elevator closed, she quickly marched to the living room. "What the hell are you doing here?!"

"I said I will come in here whether you like it or not." Yelena replied groggily as she shifted herself in a more comfortable position on the couch.

Natasha immediately grabbed Yelena's tank top by the neck. Natasha glared angrily at her sister before focusing on the jacket she was donning. "Is that my jacket?" she questioned even more angrily.

"Well you didn't get most of your stuff when you left home." Yelena replied her shoulders slumped trying to move away from Natasha's hold. She raised both of her hands to her ears.

"Still doesn't explain the jacket." Natasha groaned.

"Woah!" Yelena mockingly exclaimed as soon as she saw you peeking, "She still here huh?" She glanced back at her sister. "Hiiiii!" Yelena looked behind Natasha's thighs and greeted you mockingly.

Once more groaning, Natasha roughly pulled her sister deeply in the couch before hesitantly letting go of her. Her piercing glare stopped Yelena from reacting as she was about to whimper in pain over her sister's harshness.

"This girl is always coming to my rescue." Yelena smirked as she muttered to herself. She threw a pillow on her sister's back testing her because she knows that she won't do anything now that you're there.

"You okay?" Natasha asks.

"Yeah, my wound feels so cold though. But yeah, I'm fine physically but not entirely fine…" You awkwardly chuckle as you get frustrated again because the whole situation hasn't dawned on you really.

"I ordered some food, do you eat Italian?" Natasha softly asks and you sheepishly nod, you look at Yelena sitting behind Natasha's standing figure; she gives you an uneasy smile before averting her eyes from you.

Natasha walked past you and went to the kitchen, you immediately followed her leaving Yelena alone in the living room. You sat in one of the chairs of the kitchen table as Natasha set up the food for you. "Here, krasivaya." She muttered under her breath as she handed you a fork and gently placed a plate of pasta in front of you. Of course you heard it, you never missed it.

"What else did you remember the other night?" She asked, "If you don't mind me asking. If you're not comfortable it's totally okay but at some point you have to tell me so I could help you."

"What does that mean?" You finally spoke but awkwardly.

"What?" Natasha blinked, momentarily caught off guard by your question.

"You called me something…I don't understand it." You murmured as you tried to avoid her eyes while you played with the fork in your hand.

"Beautiful." Yelena appeared from behind, Natasha scowled at Yelena who was slowly heading towards the kitchen. "Why?"

"Nothing." Your voice was so small that you were not comfortable with Yelena's presence. You looked down to your plate trying to hide the fear and discomfort forming in your face as you remembered what happened the other night.

Natasha sensed your discomfort as Yelena continued to linger around the room. She shot her sister a glare, hoping she'd take the hint and give some space. Yelena, though mischievous, could be sensitive to such cues when she wanted to be.

Yelena huffed, turning to look at her sister with a sinister smile, "Don't be flattered by it, Natasha calls every girl that."

Natasha's scowl intensified as Yelena continued to intrude on the conversation. She clenched her jaw and shot her sister a stern look once again, but Yelena continued to give her a playful smirk. She inhaled trying to calm herself and remembered Strange's joke-ish reminder not to kill her sister and right now she thinks she couldn't handle the urge not to.

You looked down at your plate, almost slamming your face on it. You felt a sudden jealousy and insecurity swirling in you, you gave her an awkward and sad chuckle. "Well I uhh, uhm t-the Maximoff lady…the Maximoff lady called me that." You managed to say before taking a bite of your pasta.

"Maximoff lady?" Natasha slightly clenched her jaw, she couldn't help but immediately ask.

"Oooh…" Yelena tilted her head as she eyed her sister with a smug in her face, "Wanda... that's interesting." She murmured something that you couldn't quite make out—was it because she spoke in such a feeble voice or was it because she spoke in a different language? "What else did she say to you, huh?"

"Yelena." Natasha warned. And you started to panic, tears welling up in your eyes.

"Or things you let her do to you?" Yelena methodically sifted through the pantry shelves, all aware of your growing unease but she still continued. She put her elbows on the table across you, she looked at you in the eyes and smirked, "I bet you let her fuck you."

"Enough!" Natasha glared at her sister and walked towards her, "Why is she still here Natasha?" Yelena asked angrily.

“I want you to fucking leave Yelena. And don't worry she's not gonna be here anymore because we're moving to the manor. And I want you gone.” Natasha's demand cut through the tense air. She looked at her straight in the eye with anger evident in hers.

Yelena nodded and backed down with a sad smile on her face. “Thank you for telling me that you're moving to that pretty property of yours. A new place to barge in.” She looked again at Natasha, the before sad smile turning into a grin before walking out.

“Sumasshedshaya malen'kaya suchka.” (Crazy little bitch) Natasha whispered to herself before turning to you. You saw her closing her eyes, inhaling as she tried to calm herself.

The tension didn't vanish when you heard the elevator ding, a sign that Yelena is already gone. As the tension thickened in the air, your appetite vanished, your stomach churning with unease. The clinking of cutlery against plates echoed in the silent room.

“The Maximoff twin...the Maximoff lady didn't do anything to…to me.” You broke the silence, but you felt that you just made everything worse. “I just served some drinks to them that night before—”

“You don't need to talk about it if it's not comfortable for you.” Natasha interrupted. Your heart sank. You knew you couldn't avoid asking any longer. "Natasha," your voice wavered slightly as she turned to face you. "Why—why are you doing this? I know we talked about it already but, why? Your sister’s right, why are you doing this?"

Natasha's gaze faltered for a moment, a shadow passing over her features before she quickly masked it with a composed facade. She opened her mouth to respond, but her words seemed to catch in her throat.

“I…” Natasha avoided your innocent gaze, she knows how much it will ruin her looking at those eyes of yours. “We're gonna leave now," She finally said, her tone clipped as she rose from her seat. The abrupt change in topic caught you off guard, leaving your question unanswered and your heart heavy.

Secret Behind Our Dreams: Masterlist

[genericpuff]

I've been seeing you say/speculate Rachel Smythe has been cut loose from webtoon, could you elaborate what you mean by that?

It's only a tinfoil hat theory that people should take with MOUNTAINS of salt (seriously, I'm more likely to believe that Rachel really is just done with LO), but there's a general suspicion that LO wasn't meant to end here and that Webtoons decided to cut the cord. I've made a post about it before but some new stuff has surfaced since then.

1.) The announcement the series was ending was made quietly at NYCC and not shared to either Webtoons' socials or Rachel's socials.

The only way fans initially knew about the series ending was through a screencap from the Discord where someone else who had been attending NYCC passed on the info from a Q&A that LO would be entering its final arc.

For a good while the only other way to know the series was ending was through the Discord, a Cosmopolitan article, and my own post.

Though it sounds odd for a series to get cancelled halfway through its third season, it's not uncommon for Webtoons to suddenly axe series while they're on their midseason hiatuses, it's happened before. So there's a general suspicion that Rachel may have found out during NYCC that LO would only be given one more arc.

2.) The actual finale announcement was made in a text post on Instagram that suddenly announced it would be ending on May 11th, despite the fact that there was still lots to wrap up in the story.

What this implies is that Rachel was given one more arc, with no concrete end date... until Webtoons told her to wrap it up in a limited number of episodes, hence why despite us knowing it was in its final arc, the end date still felt too soon. This is also supported by the fact that her initial announcement was vaguely "early/mid 2024" - she couldn't give a more accurate end date because she didn't plan for the actual ending.

3.) Things that Rachel has said implies that she was either hoping for the final arc to go on longer, or that she didn't think LO was going to be ending now.

(that "nothing is set in stone" quote further supports the theory that she may have been hoping to get renewed in spite of the lukewarm ending announcement - that the only reason the announcement was so quiet was because WT hadn't fully committed to it yet and wanted to see how the series would do upon its return; now that they see it falling behind to other series, it might mean WT became more sure in their decision to cut it and gave her an actual deadline to wrap it up by.)

4.) Webtoons has stopped promoting Lore Olympus despite it ending.

Any promotional spots that it has gotten have been stuffed into the dead zone of the banner reels (seriously, anything past the 3rd spot is practically useless because it takes actual committed scrolling to get there vs. the first 1-3 banner spots which can be seen as soon as you open the app/site) and the banner art itself does not in any way advertise the series being in its final arc. These banners also only seem to be appearing for a day at most, compared to the days upwards of weeks they used to get.

Webtoons also hasn't been doing any sort of promoting on their socials for it. Considering The Mafia Nanny has been consistently beating out LO in the top rankings for weeks now, and that LO's rating and view count is still dropping, it appears that Webtoons has finally given up on shoving it down people's throats and put their focus elsewhere.

Again, this is all tinfoil hat speculation, so take it with massive doses of salt. Considering this is Webtoons, I wouldn't be surprised if they finally decided to put LO out of its misery, but this is also Rachel and I wouldn't blame her in the slightest if she finally wanted to be done with it after the past two years of people clowning on it. And I say that knowing I, myself, am a clown LOL

Either way, I feel like either outcome is plausible in its own ways, but whatever is the true reason, it doesn't change the fact that LO is ending and has 3 episodes left to wrap itself up. And whatever comes after will likely involve the launch of Inklore which was estimated for the spring.

[queenshelby]

Our Little Secret (Part 53)

Pairing: Cillian Murphy x Reader

Warning: Infidelity, Age-Gap, Triggers, Smut

Over the next few days, this was exactly what Mark did and what he found was something Sean knew would upset you greatly. 

"It looks like your girlfriend's ex is a serial cheater  and he has been for quite some time," Mark divulged, as Sean listened intently, taking in all the information with great interest. He already didn't like Cillian but this, this just confirmed it all for him.

"In early 2009, he cheated on his ex-wife with Sianna Miller, then in 2010 he hooked up with some model from Brussels when they were attending some kind of event. He also had a few flings while filming, one with Annabelle Wallis in 2014 and another with his assistant Julia. Then of course he went on with your girlfriend and knocked her up, but who's counting?

"Fuck me," Sean gasped as his face blanched at this revelation and he felt disgust building up within him. 

"Do you think she knows?" Mark  asked, looking at Sean with curiosity written all over his face.

Sean sighed heavily, "I doubt it. She's too engrossed in the whole idealized perception of this man to actually see who he really is," he told his friend impassively.

"You still want to play this game, then?" Mark taunted, grinning at his friend's reaction.

"I think so," Sean replied flatly.

"Good because I called that woman from Brussels, and she confirmed the affair," Mark said proudly, wondering how Sean could possibly break the news to you now that he had some proof.

"And what now? Am I just going to tell her about it or, -?" Sean  pondered aloud to himself before rubbing his temples with his thumb and index finger, feeling a growing sense of urgency brew within him.

Having spent hours on end gathering the information on Cillian's alleged infidelity, Sean couldn't help but feel a strong compulsion to confront you with the evidence, forcing you to make a decision regarding your future with this man.

But, at the same time, Sean also knew that his actions could potentially cause the two of you to drift apart as well. Revealing dirt on your ex would make him look bad and jealous, which was something that could be detrimental against winning you over. 

Thus, Sean spent several days mulling over the best course of action, coming up with various scenarios and schemas until, eventually, he hit upon a seemingly flawless plan.

Mark had agreed to write about it to you, anonymously, seeking your comment on these allegations before publication would take place. He knew that this would prompt you to discuss the matters with Cillian and thereby creating a conflict between the two of you just before the wedding without Sean actually having to get involved.

Sean thought that this was the best way to go about it and make you question the wisdom behind your ongoing platonic and yet conflicting relationship with Cillian.

And, of course, the plan worked when, on the Monday morning, a few days before Siobhan's wedding, you received an email with the subject line "Unverified Allegations Against Cillian Murphy - Invitation to comment" sent from a reporter at the Irish Times, from an email address you didn't recognise. 

"Dear Miss Y/LN

I am writing to invite your comment for an article that is currently being put together here at the Irish Times. The article deals with unverified allegations of extensive infidelity of the Hollywood actor, Cillian Murphy, with whom I understand the recipient of this email had an affair during 2023. 

The allegations relate to incidents reported between 2007 to 2024 respectively and whilst we have already received statements confirming these allegations from some of the other women involved, including model Alana Simmons and two others, we would also welcome and appreciate any relevant comment you would wish to make.

I look forward to receiving your reply, which we will ensure is included in its entirety in our article.

Kindest Regards

Mark Schulze

Reporter

The Irish Times"

You squinted at the screen, feeling a strange mixture of shock, anger, and confusion. What the fuck was this?

You stared at the email, your heart beating fast. You couldn't believe what you were reading. It couldn't be true, could it? He had always been adamant that you were the only one he had ever cheated on Danielle with and you wondered whether it was all a lie.

Was all that you had together a lie? Did he ever love you? Could he ever love you?

Tags:

@sunbeamseas @saint-ackerman @oatmealisweird @naxxsstuff @amanda08319 @r-m-cidnah @elysiannook @cillshot @infireddabdab @tastycakee @harrysbestiee @lilybabe22 @adalynlowell @henrywintersdearestgirl @ietss @thatgirlthatreadswattpad @ryiamarie @axionn

@nela-cutie @futurecorps3 @delishen @nosebleeds-247 @thirteenis-myluckynumber @gills-lounge @hjmalmed @lost-fantasy @tiredkitten @sidechrisporn @smallsoulunknown @charqing-qing @hopefulinlove @aporiasposts @shycrybaby @me-and-your-husband @hjmalmed @lacontroller1991 @galxydefender @aporiasposts

@galxydefender @hunnibearrr @saint-ackerman @lunyyx @gentlemonsterjennie1 @ihavealotoffandomssorry @nadloves @lost-fantasy @nolucesn@mcavoy-girl @hjmalmed @bloodybagels @obeyme4life @richiesgroupie @blushykiss @tatumrileyslover @teawithsatanx @orijanko @rhaenyra4ever @xcinnamonmalfoyx @budugu @nadloves @kmc1989 @bloodybagels @obeyme4life @richiesgroupie @forgottenpeakywriter @smailaway @sophiaaguirred @blondie-22

[havethetouch]

Here be pirates

2020 - Siti, Mahdi

2021 - Ila, Mel, Eli, Asa, Ava, Ife, Niv

2022 - Ixtia

2023 - Lev, Ora, Dar, Ira, Ayo, Efe, Nia, Jia

2024 - Nor

Figured I throw them down all in one post because why not most people are not even aware how vast the cast of this lil pirate story is, and those are the characters that got their design down, I have some more that I still play around with a bit on terms of colours and shapes. Aside from Ava and Lev, everyone got their first design try on a quick headshot that felt right and then threw colours on. Ava and Lev just got a ref sheet right away because idk I hit the golden moment with those two. (context: I hate doing refs and it usually takes me ages to do them even if if I have their designs down to a T. Mahdi for example.. is after Siti oldest characters created for this story and I only finally got around to finish his ref what? At the end of last year (2023)? Niv only got her ref like in July of 2024. Like fuck you could not pay me to do reference sheets the only reason I even do them is so that I can hand them to the handful of people I like to buy comms from (and sometimes for AF) who need the visuals bc they cannot just see them in my head otherwise I would not bother.)

The order these are drawn in is also not necessarily the order those characters have been living rent-free in my head either. Like there is Wyn who I vaguely know what he looks like for 3 years now but I have not brought him to paper yet lol. However the first few are. Siti was obviously the first, it started with her, Mahdi came second in my head even though back then I didn't even knew his name yet, he was an integral part in Sitis backstory and had the workname "Mapmaker/Scholar" but I knew while I tinkered with Sitis story that he needs to come back into the picture and then I started developing him. Technically it went like this: In the course of Sitis bg story she is faced with the loss of people she considered family (among them the mapmaker/scholar who she shared the closest bond with) during a vicious pirate attack at sea that she is the lone survivor of but even as I worked on that part I was like... "ain't no way that this fucker died, he is probably messed up but I bet he survived I want him to survive and reunite with Siti down the line" - and then a bit later in my head (mahdi, kicking the door in) "Hello there. I have risen!".

It still takes the duration of a decade before these two reunite. Which is also the starting point of Siti being the captain bc those two yearn for the sea regardless of the trauma.

After came the first five, being Ila, Ava, Eli, Mel and Asa. Ife and Niv followed soon after and then it kinda gets muddy with the rest. I had some rear up louder some just slipped in through the backdoor and at some point I started to design those as well. Nor is the most recent design in the lineup which I adopted from someone else because I had her down at her core but I could not decide on which animal which vibes but I saw demi-reality sell this zebra lady on their TH and I looked once, twice, thrice and went "oh. That is Nor." It be like that sometimes. But yeh so that is Sitis crew, at least those of them that have fixed designs. It is funny to look at the first headshot ever of Siti she changed not really much at all from that one aside from the fact that I got her unique face shapes down better in a way that I could not properly bring to paper back in 2020. So much shit happened around those years too, many losses in my family, among them my own father so many of these characters are intertwined with that grief and brainfog and memory loss that came with that trauma. A wild time that feels like a different life at times and I'm glad to have it behind me now. And I didn't even mean to get so personal about it here but those characters are, like I said, very much intertwined with a lot of that which also reflects in most of the early casts stories. But yeahhhh anyway I keep tinkering around, lots of writing going on in the background among some other stuff I have planned.

[mitamicah]

Gig repport: Restaurant Backas, Vantaa July 3 2024

Here follows my experiences with Käärijä (and HUGO) at Restaurant Backas, Vantaa on July 3 2024.

It was also the day of the (main part of) kääryle summer camp organized by @bisonaari - thank you so much for a great event <33

Given I couldn’t sleep and lived only 10 minutes on foot from the venue I went there early to hang out with the queue. The queueing was very laid back – gave me the biggest Joker Out in Malmö vibes (big compliment btw since that is my favourite Joker Out gig I’ve been to so far). @j-restlessgeek joined the queue at 9 and @jaarijani at 12; the three of us then headed to the Käärijä mural to meet up with the rest of the summer camp, take group pictures and go to the local library for a “picnic” (it was raining). The picnic was peak coziness with trying out snacks from everybody’s homecountries, writing in each other’s fanzines/books/clothes. It was amazing meeting old friends (like @carpblu and @formulalakana – the Berlin trio back together <3) and great folks I have not been able to meet irl yet like @tuherrus and @icbimakb.  

My low number in the queue gave me my first real barricade spot at a käärijä concert, although I felt a bit bad at times running away from the spot to talk with other fans and to chat with Häärijä, Tiia and Jesse asking them to write on my shirt (wore a big white tee asking people to write stupid stuff on it). The first thing I noticed when meeting häärijä was him having the @kaarijazineofficial in his hand, so I blurted out: “OMG YOU HAVE THE ZINE!!! I DREW YOU!” which earned me a smile from the boy.

Me and Häärijä:

After two hours of bonding the first of two artists went on stage; HUGO and his band. I didn’t know his music but I vibed.

Inbetween HUGO’s set and Käärijä we were given chips by the security (which I’ve never experienced before at a concert) and we were sharing snacks we’d been allowed inside even with the ‘no food’ rule set by the venue.

Jesse arrived and did his little show taping down the setlist, and Skull managed to glance Paidaton Riehuja on the set. Then we saw Mikke and his gf/wife and child arrive where I turned into the annoying fan looking at Mikke and then pointing at a sticker for him to come and get it.  At the end he shook his head, light heartedly called me crazy and grabbed the sticker.

In my opinion this set turned into the best Käärijä one I’ve witnessed yet: he played all the big hits (Huhhahhei, Rouska, Viulunkeili, Välikoulema, Kot Kot, Cha Cha Cha) but also some deeper cuts (Paidaton Riehuja, Klo 23) and doing it all being the biggest sunshine and yapping very humbly about his experiences growing up in Vantaa among other things thanking a PE teacher from 6th grade for believing in him and also later jokingly saying a nearby seagull flying close to the stage was lucky to get a free concert. Jere even shouted me out twice first noticing my Danish flag and that my hair was cut like “his old hair”, and the second time calling me “Denmark Guy” when pointing out my Bulbasaur cap. The second time I didn’t know what to even say so I started “Are You”ing him, which he responded to (!!!) before seemingly starting daydreaming for a second before asking the crowd who’d go to Ruisrock (subtle).

After the show I stayed around determined to get the setlist using my somewhat-tall privilege to get it. Me and Cass fanboyed over seeing a truck with the licence plate ‘TRAFFIC’ on it at the bottom of the page (this together with Häärijä writing ‘Häärijä Hojan Hoost’ on my shirt made us very sus). While walking around giving my last stickers away I met with my fellow dane @solsortemor that gave me a lovely custom bracelet and showed me the video she’d taken of one of the banters I’d gotten with Käärijä. She’d later drive me back to the Airbnb so I could get her the bracelet I’d made for her. Being curious however I went back to Backas afterwards to see if the crowd in front of the gate was still there (they weren’t so I figured neither was Jere). Then I took advantage of Alepa being open 24/7 (I already miss this!) and bought myself some breakfast till the next day before going home and being too hyped to sleep for hours.

Trinkets from the show v

Official tour shirt, Book with messages from @smimon @tuherrus @j-restlessgeek @follivora @wednesdayday @king-krisu and @bisonaari

Quebec mascot magnet, Canada postcard, KSC bracelet and bracelet clip from @bisonaari

Two stickers from @smimon

Cornpea John sticker from @omppupiiras

Personalized Häärijä bracelet + Morgan bracelet from @carpblu

Ihan Sama, Bojan Titanic and Paidaton Riehuja bracelet from @formulalakana

Honorary Pöyhönen and spiked bracelet from @j-restlessgeek

Green Lantern Guy bracelet from @solsortemor

KSC bracelet from @teal-skull

Strength tarot card from @tuherrus

Cat drawing w. message from @katinkulta

Pokemon card I'd found on the road (as you do)

Tequila bracelet (forgotten from whom)

The setlist (!!!)

Traffik bracelet, Kris and Eevee stickers from @jaarijani

Wisconsin postcard from @clovermoonspell

[joanyio]

TOP 9 DRAMAS I WATCHED IN 2023

inspector koo (2021) - everyone here is a different flavor of fruit, crime show exclusively made for girls and gays and it’s the best thing that ever happened to me

when i fly towards you (2023) - this is what happiness is all about

doom at your service (2021) - “love me to the point that you want to destroy the world for me” that’s it that’s the line

love all play (2022) - wfkbj for people who aren’t annoying

little women (2022) - second half felt like a makjang damn the writers were spiraling and i couldn’t stop watching (gay little women i love you)

twinkling watermelon (2023) - worth the hype

bloodhounds (2023) - i remember my letterboxd post for this saying you can almost smell the testosterones through the screen but it was absolutely binge worthy, kinda homo if you ask me!

daily dose of sunshine (2023) - park boyoung is the loveliest human being

law school (2021) - is it insane to beg for a season 2 the chance is low but nonzero… right?

HONORABLE MENTIONS

hidden love (2023) - im tired of people saying the word chemistry about the main couple but it’s true they invented it

designated survivor: 60 days (2019) - maybe political dramas aren’t always badly written, also han nakyung please give me a chance

celebrity (2023) - user joanyio stop finding invisible gay subtext in every show you watch challenge failed

the good bad mother (2023) - such a gem *continues to ignore mommy issues*

time and him are just right (2022) - cute and perfect for mindless watching in the background while you do other work

the worst of evil (2023) - instead of forcing the love triangle turned love square the writers should have made all four hot main characters make out with each other it would have been perfect

and because of love all play (2022), see also:

castaway diva (2023), witch’s diner (2021), and unlock my boss (2022) (although i haven’t finished this one yet) chae jonghyeop is my new lee dohyun (read: male actor i enjoy watching multiple projects of simply because he doesn’t give me the ick). i also rewatched hot stove league (2020) for park eunbin and jonghyeop after castaway diva, still one of the all time best dramas i remember it used to be my twitter handle years ago baseball is so cool i wish it was real

DRAMAS I STARTED LATE DECEMBER 2023 AND FINISHED EARLY JANUARY 2024

shining for one thing (2022) - please don’t watch this show it was made only for me and i’d like to gatekeep it forever

reset (2022) - never watched a drama execute time loop plot device as perfectly as this did

UNFINISHED BUT PLANNING TO CONTINUE SOON

derailment (2023) - i was baited by a tiktok i thought it’d be a cute silly little high school drama but boy was i surprised

one day off (2023) - she’s living the dream

[7grandmel]

Todays rip: 13/05/2024

Stickerbrush Queen

Season 1 Featured on: SiIvaGunner's Highest Quality Rips: Volume L [Side A]

Ripped by toonlink

EIGHT. Years later. And we're still jammin'. I can't believe I missed the anniversary to such a historic part of the channel's legacy. I hope the world can forgive me for being a whole day late and that we can all recover from this scandal together.

Stickerbush Symphony is one of the most revered songs within VGM to a degree I don't think I can describe accurately. The original version from Donkey Kong Country 2 is still arguably David Wise's magnum opus and continues to touch hearts everywhere through its various YouTube reuploads, wheras the equally-beautiful remix in Super Smash Bros. Brawl has its hooks in an entire generation of Wii kids who are forever attached to the theme through its prominence in the Subspace Emissary campaign. It of course has a huge presence on SiIvaGunner too, one I've covered multiple times before, most notably in Sidelined Symphony. Yet the song's presence on SiIvaGunner has branched out into something entirely different, an outright franchise of bangers based on the already banging Brawl remix - all of which started with Stickerbrush Queen.

Yes, you'll have to forgive me for Toonlink-glazing once again...it's likely that not even this will be his final appearance on here, but it genuinely cannot be overemphasized just how much of Season 1's spirit was defined by his contributions. Rips like The Great Weed and Dr. Soulja are just quintessential SiIvaGunner to me, and were my go-to rips to share back in 2016, their comedic timing near unmatched, but Toonlink's versatility as a ripper extended to genuine bangers as well. Case and point - Stickerbrush Queen, the first-ever rip of Brawl's interpretation of Bramble Blast, and one that hit the nail on the head right away with an utmost brilliant idea - to use the track as the backing beat to a rap mashup. Whether or not you have attachment to Trap Queen or Fetty Wap before listening doesn't matter - the two halves of the rip lift each other up in such perfect harmony, that it starts to feel wrong to listen to them in isolation afterward.

In my eyes, a huge part of what makes the mashup work is that its playing to the traits of Trap Queen rather than lifting it into a completely different environment - its beat in the original version has a very similar bright, sparkly sound to Brawl's Bramble Blast, and the contrast between it and the vocals are likely part of how Trap Queen was envisioned. More drastic tone changes in rap mashups can certainly bang, I fucking love Sweatpants Select for that very reason, yet there's something just so elegant about how Stickerbrush Queen does it - it still FEELS different, the Bramble Blast instrumental is undeniably emotional, yet its able to balance itself out through the steady rhythm of Trap Queen's vocals. The break in the middle of the rip, at around a minute in, hits extra hard though - the instrumental additions to Trap Queen changing in turn make it such a memorable part of the whole and unify the two songs amazingly well.

Being uploaded so early into the channel's very first season, during the period of time in which EVERYONE's eyes were on this weird new music uploading channel, Stickerbrush Queen slowly garnered a sort of legendary reputation. Perhaps that was just my view of things, but it was one that got validated more and more as the channel went on. More Bramble Blast and Stickerbush Symphony rips were made over the months and years, ones like Stickerbrush State of Mind and more, that all felt like they were paying tribute to the very beginnings of it all. Eventually, those tributes would become direct - The premiere to Season 6 of the channel, Bramble Blast Collab, includes direct nods to this one rip, and its only one of several examples - most notably, a direct tribute to it on Season 7's RIP² album. This release, 7 YEARS LATER AND WE STILL JAMMIN', is of course also notable for referencing perhaps what the rip is most known for these days - the persistence of one sole commenter who returns to Stickerbrush Queen once a year on its anniversary to remind everyone that, yes, all these years later we ARE still jammin'.

Eight years, huh...that's nutty to think about - and yet even with its age, this one sole rip continues to be referenced all over the place on the channel. Stickerbush Symphony, Bramble Blast,whatever you want to call it (even StickerBRUSH Symphony if you're wrong), continues to live on, celebrated as the legendary piece of VGM it always has been - yet the contribution Toonlink made to its legacy all those years ago feels everpresent in a way that's really fun to see - almost EVERYONE following the channel has heard that one mashup at one point or another. Be it the aforementioned direct arrangement of it on RIP², or this fucking stupid tweet that blew up around the rip's fifth anniversary...its the kind of rip that just brings the community together any time we get to hear a trace of it. The definition of an enduring classic - and yes, we are STILL Jammin'.

[plasticflwrs]

⠀⠀   ⠀┈─ GASP OF AIR ⠀⠀／ ⠀⠀ an oh deurim & oliver song story ( 2024 ).

"And then I was looking at my old friend John: / ... and I saw him, / and he: (and this was almost unbearable) / he saw me see him, / and I saw him see me." — The Affliction by Marie Howe.

WORD COUNT. 2.6k. WARNINGS / NOTES. surprisingly, nothing major! they drink a bit of wine on the balcony and talk like they're in an episode of nbc's hannibal. mentions of: alcohol, oliver's poor mental health, dysfunctional relationships, shin yeonghui (derogatory).

The balcony door slides open behind Oliver and he pauses for a moment. There was an unwritten rule of the balcony: do not interrupt someone out there alone. They all did their best thinking leaning against the wall or in the cheap beach chairs from the local furniture store or using it for uncomfortable phone discussions. It was rude to walk out there without at least texting the other person before and, for once, he had his phone off of Do Not Disturb but had not felt any incoming messages. He always kept his phone close and right now, it sat under his left thigh as he looked out at the Seoul skyline, a bottle of cheap wine, and some cheap glass on the table next to him.

He doesn’t turn around. Instead, he hoped that whoever entered his personal space would get the message and go back inside, realizing that he was not in a good mood. He hadn’t been in that mood lately with the upcoming comeback. He was nervous about the record and was already being asked by the higher-ups about what would come next. His songwriting notebooks and fountain pens sit untouched next to him, the blank page mocking him as he taps out the same melody over and over again.

There was something there, he just couldn’t find it yet.

Instead of leaving, they sit down next to him and he can tell just by the hair color that it’s Deurim. Jiyeon and Salem had both dyed their hair similar shades of blonde or orange, he wasn’t sure which, and Junyeong had a shorter haircut. Deurim, for the first time since debut, had lightened her hair to a light brown rather than her usual black and Oliver thought it looked nice. Deurim always looked nice.

They weren’t that close. She liked to stick her nose in Oliver’s business when it had nothing to do with her and had gotten into some fight with Jiyeon a few years back, so he tended to stay away from her. A part of him pitied Deurim. She had no friends in Plastic Flowers and had missed the formative years—the trauma bonding years as they called it—and was thrown into fame with little preparation. Even he, coming back from a few months of Boston, was rattled by how quickly they went from absolute nobodies to the biggest idol band in all of South Korea. They were breaking records set back in the early 2010s like it was nothing and still, they managed to top themselves with each album.

The fans had gotten used to her presence but she remained the least liked member due to her late joining. They were protective over their favorite band and still saw her as an outsider despite her contributions to the latest albums and how quickly she had picked up the pieces broken by Minghui.

Of all the decisions made by Shin Yeonghui, this was one of the few she had gotten right.

He had seen some of the trainees before his departure and she was the only one that stuck out from that generation. Stardom came naturally to her, as if she was born to be in front of the camera, and was shameless with the character she showed for the fans. They had never seen the real Deurim, the one with the sharp tongue and ability to silence a room with a look, and had a completely different idea of her. Sometimes, Oliver commended her for it. His idol persona and his real personality were slowly blurring as if they were becoming the same, and that scared him.

“Are you sleeping out here or something?” she asks, sitting down next to Oliver and pouring herself a glass of wine. He wasn’t sure where it came from but accepted it even with a weird look cast in her direction. “Kicked from Jiyeon’s bed?”

He scoffs and takes a long sip of his drink. “Can’t be kicked from something I was never in.”

“Oh c’mon,” she laughs, bumping her shoulder against Oliver’s as if they were friends. “You’ve been single for two years and haven’t tried anything with Jiyeon? She’s, like, obsessed with you.”

His relationship with Jiyeon is something that Oliver likes to keep private. There were too many emotions surrounding everything and sometimes, it even confused him. That was his best friend, the one person who had always been by his side, and he never wanted to ruin her with all of his issues. Instead of answering, he takes another sip, emptying the glass and refilling it without even thinking. Rather than going for his usual vodka or soju, he subjected himself to the tasteless cheap wine from the local convenience store to avoid a hangover or getting too messy. He thought the peach flavor advertised would make the drink better, but it was just as bad as he remembered. He didn’t know how people liked this stuff.

She hums and nods slowly as if pretending to understand something. “The silent treatment?” She leans in closer to him, placing a hand on his, a familiar gesture, and considers him for a moment. Deurim studies him like a painting in the Louvre, eyes dancing between facial features and she finally smiles as she leans away, out of his personal space. “Wanna know what I think?”

“I bet you would’ve told me either way,” and he doesn’t mean the sarcasm that leaves his mouth without thinking or the slight stumble to his word. Deurim looks at him again as she just shrugs in response, still looking at him with those dark brown and attentive eyes. “Whatever—sure,” he agrees after a beat. “What do you think?”

He’s heard plenty of theories over the years, from friends and gossip articles alike, about his personal life. Many people believed that his relationship with Salem was only for cameras, that he had an awful superiority complex, and was mistreating staff backstage. The woes of fame, he always told himself, were the constant speculation about his life. That’s why the balcony was so great—a way to interact with the public without truly interacting with him. He still heard the ambient noises of the city and could people watch with ease, leaving him to his best thinking and memories of sitting in the Boston Common with his mother on the weekends and having a picnic.

Of course, he’s one of the few people that knew the true stories of all the rumors. He knows the truth, but, hearing what other people believed was always interesting. Deurim had front-row seats to some of their greatest behind-the-stage moments and had a different point of view from the rest of the world. She didn’t know the truth about them, but she was a step higher than the regular popular culture consumer. She knew many things they would never, but she didn’t know everything about them.

“So you do pay attention to me,” she hums, letting the end of her sentence linger before speaking again. “I think that you’re scared.”

“Scared?” He repeats.

“There’s so much history with her,” she says the word ‘history’ like it was something annoying, scrunching her nose and tilting her head to the side. “I don’t even know how you stomach it at this point.”

Oliver shrugs, trying to think of the right words to describe the relationship he has with Jiyeon and Salem. It was all confusing at this point as they all refused to talk about what was going on and they seemed more than happy about leaving Oliver behind. They were often going out together and many nights, he heard them talking in either of their rooms about anything and everything. A few times, his name had even come up, but he couldn’t stay to listen to it. He knew he made many mistakes over the past few years and hearing it out loud always messed with his head, so he tried to avoid their conversations about him, no matter how curious Oliver was.

“It’s not that weird,” he lands on and it’s the truth—he wanted nothing more than to rebuild that friendship back up and avoid any weirdness in the dorm. Even if they would only be living together until September. “She’s moved on.”

“Moved on,” she scoffs. “What are you? Delusional?”

“I’m sorry?”

“You can’t be that stupid, Oliver,” she states, lips pursed and looking at him like he was stupid. His eyebrows furrowed, not understanding where she was going with this. “She’s never going to give you up.”

“We’re best friends. Of course she’s not going to give that up,” Oliver retorts with a frown.

“But do you wanna be more than friends?” Deurim finally asks.

Oliver pauses. He’s thought about it before, but never in depth. He loved Jiyeon, but it felt more familiar to the way he loved his older sister, Ivy. Sure, he wanted the best for her and to see her happy, but that didn’t mean in a romantic relationship and he had told her that before.

“No,” he lands on instead, keeping it short and sweet to avoid saying anything he would regret. Deurim was good at using words against other people and he didn’t want to be the cause of another fight when things were going back to normal. Well as normal as they could be for them. “I’ve never thought of her like that.” There’s a second statement that lingers in the back: that he never wanted to hurt her. When it came to Oliver and relationships, things always turned for the worst and he didn’t want that for Jiyeon.

Oliver wasn’t sure if it was real, but each time he blinked, it seemed like Deurim was moving closer to him. He had never looked at her this closely before and his gaze danced around each of her features, taking all of them in at once, before landing on her lips. She notices within an instant, because, of course, she does. Deurim has always been the observant type and loved to people-watch from this very same balcony over the weekend. She smiles at him, one that feels more real than the others but doesn’t make any more movement towards him. Oliver had never noticed her smile before.

“What?” She asks. “Is there something on my face?”

Oliver shakes his head, “No… I’m just seeing you for the first time.”

Deurim gives him a weird look at the choice of phrasing. He had looked at her before and knew what Deurim looked like, but this was the first time he was paying any attention. He had been so focused on his issues and the other members that he never gave her a chance. He sided with Jiyeon without even listening to Deurim’s side of the story and suddenly, that felt unfair to her.

“You’re seeing me?” She stresses the word just like Oliver did as if trying to understand what he was trying to say. She even considers it for a moment before asking, placing her right hand onto Oliver’s left, “And what does that mean?”

Oliver isn’t even sure what he’s trying to convey. “This is the first time I feel I can understand you.”

She nods, humming and his breath gets caught in his throat as Deurim moves even closer, her hand moving up towards his shoulder. He could feel the warmth of her hand, sending a shiver down his spine as the air around them charged with anticipation and time slowed. He knew where this was going as he looked into Deurim’s eyes, which held something he couldn’t place at that moment. Her touch was gentle yet firm, grounding him to the present moment. In usual moments like this, his mind is running with anxiety and wondering if this was the right move.

“I’ve always been here,” she finally says, her voice barely above a whisper. “But you never saw me. I’ve always seen you, Oliver.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Deurim replies, a smile gracing her lips as she glances down at Oliver’s own. “We all have moments of blindness. You’re seeing me now and that’s what matters.”

He finds himself nodding without noticing, his brain struggling to catch up with the rest of the moment. It was like a breath of fresh air as he looked at Deurim and saw something new, something good. It had been a very long time since he had felt like this. The last time had been back with his family in Boston during his forced hiatus and spending time with them always brought good feelings. They were walking through the Common and it felt right like it was where he was supposed to be. It reminded him of the early days of Plastic Flowers and his relationship with Salem, the easy days and the ones that were spent in fits of laughter rather than ignoring each other.

He’s always been an emotional person—something that his father didn’t like about his oldest son but served well in the career path that he chose. He acts on his emotions without much thought and that explains how he ends up here, with his hand on Deurim’s chin as he brings her into a kiss. It’s chaste for a moment as if both of them are waiting for the other to make the first move and deepen it. He begins to pull away and looks closely at Deurim’s face, trying to understand what she is thinking.

That’s the issue with Deurim.

She didn’t wear her heart on her sleeve like the rest of the members of Plastic Flowers and it was almost impossible to read her most days. She had perfected that stone-cold stare, the look of indifference, and often avoided letting the others see her at her lowest. He’s only ever seen Deurim’s real emotions once and it had been when they won best band for the first time at a major award show. It hadn’t been long after she joined and he understood the emotional relief of seeing the tangible success, holding that trophy in her hand for the first time as she thanked the fans, tears falling easily from her eyes as she hugged each one of them.

However, it seems that Oliver caught her off guard. She blinks almost owlishly at him as if she hadn’t seen this coming. The hand that had rested on top of his moved and pulled him back into the kiss, moving from his cheek and into his newly dyed hair. They stay like that for what feels like hours, trading kisses with ease, even though he knows it’s only been a few minutes at best. His hands wander to her waist, holding her close and smiling through the entire thing.

As Oliver pulls back once again, the melody from earlier suddenly comes with lyrics and it’s as if Deurim has inspired him once again. He hasn’t had a muse since his relationship ended and it takes every part of him not to leave Deurim’s space in favor of grabbing his notebook from where he was previously sitting. He doesn’t move, instead cupping her cheek again to look at Deurim. He isn’t sure how he missed this.

“What’s wrong with you?” She asks, lips swollen and red and smiling at him.

“Nothing,” he says with a shake of his head. “Nothing. I just feel good.”

“Good.”

Deurim is leaning in again and it feels like the entire world is behind them as Oliver meets her in the middle, happy to just remain in this moment for the rest of time.

[starres-stuff]

Day 1-Steer FFXIV Writes 2024

Steer: a piece of advice or information concerning the development of a situation

The whole way home Vi had fumed, there were even points where it sounded like she was stomping her feet and others where rocks could be heard bouncing off every surface, one clipping her right in the arm which resulted in her yelping so loud that flocks of birds scattered thinking they were in danger. 

What had started the mood was Xixa making a snide remark as they locked up the Bakery for the night. “Maybe tomorrow you'll remember that we start baking at five in the morning and be here on time so I don't have to do it all alone?” Just thinking about it again made Vi grit her teeth. It was her bakery after all and she could start when she wanted! She was well aware that the Viera was trying to steer her down the path of responsibility and she was grateful that the woman came to help her bake, but Vi paid her to work for her, which was a handsome sum. 

Thankfully once she made it home her husbands’ managed to whisk away Xixa's burst, replacing it with good food, lovely conversation, and an early bedtime, which was often one of her favorite things when work had been trying; though sleep would not be on the dossier for hours to come yet. Eventually, they would wear each other out and sleep would become a must. This particular night before Vi drifted off to sleep she set the alarm on her Chronometer for four and a half bells believing the noise alone would get her out of bed and at the bakery on time. 

It was such a sound plan to the Elezen that she fell asleep rather easily on this specific night, and she slept through it without a single awakening, a true rarity for her, and just as was expected the alarm on her Chronometer sounded at four and a half bell. It was terrible to wake up that early, though she did have a few protests in her mind about pulling back the warm blankets and getting out of the comfortable bed where one of her husbands was still sleeping, and for a long moment, she stared at his face, a small smile appearing on her own at how adorable he looked. Vi hated leaving him this early in the morning but eventually, she forced herself to move, her feet just about to touch the floor when she felt strong arms go around her waist. 

“Not yet” a sleepy voice murmured, still rich with the accent of the Corethas Highlands but tempered by Gridania undertones from the time he had spent living there. “Too early.” 

Vi felt her heart sink, this was what she was weak to. Both of her husbands had this sway with her and she found herself looking back over her shoulder hoping that this one would fall back to sleep. Alas, she would find a pair of mismatched eyes, one as bright as the sun and the other as bright as the moon, gazing back at her with an impish grin on her face. The impish grin he wore told her he was wide awake and likely woke up with her alarm. 

“You are such a brat, Clement.” she couldn’t help but laugh at the second tug that came at her waist. 

“Come back to bed, it is too early for work.” He protested, his arms growing tighter around her “I haven’t even had a proper chance to bid you a good morning yet.” Those stunning eyes of his took on the look of what Xixa called ‘puppy dog eyes’ and Vi felt her resolve melt away a little bit more. 

“I have to go beloved” She shook her head and tried to pull away from his arms, but he tightened them again this time succeeding in moving her backward when he tugged at her waist. 

“No, you don’t it is too early” He protested again, placing a few kisses on her back rising upwards to leave further kisses on her shoulder, her neck, and then finally her lips. 

At this point, Vi had lost the ‘get out of bed early’ battle, and all the work she had put into being to the bakery on time to help Xixa with the list they had made before closing was lost to Clement’s eyes and his kisses. The next thing she knew her normal eight bells alarm went off, and Clement gave her a wink. 

“It is time to get up beloved, you will be late for work.” This was one of those mornings that Vi punched him in the shoulder and rightfully so. 

[blysse-and-blunder]

in lieu of a commonplace book

saturday, jan 27, 2024

*brennan lee mulligan voice* heeeeeeeelllllllllllllloooooooOOOOOOOOO one and all and welcome back for another thrilling episode of...whatever this is. thank you for being here.

It's 2024! Say hi, intrepid heroes!

reading recently finished:

-orwell's roses by rebecca solnit (audio) - glad I listened, ultimately very gratifying - history, criticism, extremely lush garden-filled prose and love for growing things - nona the ninth by tamsyn muir - felt so much about [redacted] it made me cry. i can unblock ALL THE TAGS NOW - the blue sword by robin mckinley (audio) - catching up on old school fantasy continues -when the angels left the old country by sacha lamb (audio) - beautiful. not not in conversation with good omens but doing something different.

recently begun: -the ministry of the future by kim stanley robinson - can't decide if it's a scifi novel or a policy brief about ways to combat climate change- reading on my mom's recommendation -babel: an arcane history by r.f.kuang - withholding judgment, but i know you probably want me to hate it and so far i don't, really! to my own surprise -the shadow of the wind by carlos ruiz zafrón (audio) - spooky, post-modern but incredibly good at sounding like it is of the time it depicts. many thoughts on the audio book narrator's accent work, most favorable -one corpse too many by ellis peters. wild that i have only just begun reading the cadfael mysteries

listening last week was about discovering and putting on continuous loop the group trousdale on the recommendation of @m2pixie (!) and other trusted friends; the energy, the harmonies! they fill a girl group void i didn't realize i had, it feels like the best kind of throwback, like old chicks or something, some desperately needed bops. exhibit a: bad blood.

today my daylist introduced me to joy oladokun and i'm so glad it did. love her vibe, love this cover art. had to take a picture of my desk, the visuals were so satisfying.

watching the newest series of netflix's lupin!! so far i'm really, really enjoying where this season has been spending most of its time-- the new characters, the new heists, the new stakes. especially fun to watch with friends where we can all shout about the mrs doubtfire of it all, the betrayals, the misdirection, the 'he can't keep getting away with this!.' the original lupin series will always bring back memories of watching it in early lockdown; i'm glad that there's this now to think about and remember instead.

playing hollow knight hollow knight hollow kniiiiiiight. bought it a few months ago when it was on sale, after hanging out and watching @dimir-charmer stream for us a bit, but playing it yourself is a different game. i'm having a blast. it's becoming a problem. i'm having to be so so good and mature in how much i let myself just get suckered in to a full day spent in my little buggy maze adventures. the temptation to keep going until i've made a meaningful advancement of some kind (today: got the longer nail! last time: beat hornet! saved zote the mighty, got the baldur shell charm, and beat the gruz mother!) is very, very real. have also gotten around this by listening to lots of lo-fi hollow knight beats to relax and study to while being 'productive.'

(found this screenshot online, and holy extra health batman)

making pancakes. lots and lots of weekend pancakes. sent a bunch of mail since new year's, and have some new arts and crafts (charcoal pencils!! those little paper cone blender guys! better paper) to fuck around with next time i want to get ~artistic. watch this space.

working on teaching is so all-consuming. it's great, i love it. the course (maps class! if you see that tag, this is that) is going well, i think! first three lectures down. the students i've gotten to know i really like, the material has yet to get old (see one - do one - teach one is so real. i understand this class now, finally, in a way i don't think i did just being the TA, even after three times). it takes so much longer to just copy-paste-change color and font on slides than it should! i've regularly been getting four-five hours of sleep on monday nights before teaching on tuesdays, but it has meant that i don't have the brain space to be self-conscious while i'm 'on', i just. go. having fun selecting teaching 'fits, having (less) fun handling all the students who joined in the second or third week and need help with catching up, but it's not their fault there was a waiting list and lots of turnover.

(petrus roselli - portolan chart of the mediterranean, 1466)

non-teaching: - student letter of recommendation for dental school (DONE) - conference panel proposal (due 1/31) -submit revised conference paper for that prize (due 1/30) -send draft of grant application to A for her to be able to write a letter of recommendation (due IMMEDIATELY WHY ARE YOU ON TUMBLR) (you have until 2/15 to fix it but she needs the draft!) -chapter 3 edits (lmao) -read for that other course you're meant to be the TA for (oops) - give i. feedback on her thing (tonight) -RAship hours (c'mon these are actually paid work, please do them)

[gay-flyboys]

First Line Analysis

Okay, @read-and-write- tagged me in this while at work, but this is so fun.

RULES: post the first lines of your last 10 fics/chapters posted on AO3 (if you have less than 10 fics posted, post the first lines of all your fics) and try to draw some conclusions.

I went with only fics, not chapters, because otherwise it would be wholly dominated by two fics and that's not fun. Though I am curious what it would look like if I broke it down by chapter.

(This is maybe the widest variety of fandoms that could have happened, so I've labeled for ease of... something)

(Life In Full Bloom) (RWRB) "It’s 2024, and one person knows they’re engaged—a tattoo artist who spent the better part of two hours signing NDAs and etching delicate ink into the fragile skin of Henry and Alex’s hands, right where newly minted gold rings would sit."

(Hair Twined With Flowers) (RWRB) "Mud, fun fact, was a remarkably slippery substance after the first rain of the practice season."

(Tornt) (Fantasy High/Garfield) "Honestly, he doesn’t even know how he ended up in this situation."

(True Colors Shine In Darkness and in Secrecy) (RWRB) "10:54 PM, his phone says."

(Oxidation) (RWRB) "It’s in times such as these that Alex is catapulted back to his junior year of high school, studying Hamlet in his early morning English class."

(Still Singin' Here Above the Ground) (RWRB) "As long as Henry can remember back, he’s always been a watcher."

(His Greatest Fears and Wringing Hands (The Loudest Silence)) (Spiderman: ATSV) "'No. No, no no nono, Peter-'” Miguel’s voice can’t reach far enough."

(Across the Rubicon) (JATP) "When Bobby was asked by his teachers about his plans for the summer after graduating high school, he had bragged about the summer tour that Sunset Curve had managed to make happen."

(Sun Bleach) (The Hunger Games) "Despite his reputation and the several drinks he’s downed by lunch, Haymitch would say that he’s a rather perceptive guy."

(The Devil Took Your Breath Away) (Top Gun (Movies)) "The first thing he hears is from the mouth of his soon-to-be best friend."

Analysis!

Only two of these begin with dialogue. This is a thing I think I'm aware of, but not something I consciously think of as something I do.

Similarly, only one of these is less than 10 words. I be yapping. Love me some commas and dashes.

I apparently only write from the POV of masc characters (not surprising, I almost only write MM fics), and it's hit or miss if I tell you who is speaking immediately.

One of these was mostly written by one of my beta readers (i think i edited it a little) and to ME it sticks out, but I'm curious if anyone else can find it.

I feel like, despite my best efforts to encompass the fic in one sentence, I end up being really fucking cryptic all the time.

No Pressure Tags!

@littlemisskittentoes @inexplicablymine @happiness-of-the-pursuit @firenati0n @gayrootvegetable

@anincompletelist @msmarvelouswinchester @songliili @affectionatelyrs @rockyroadkylers

---

Did you make it this far? Sick. Have the first few lines from current Wips. No, i won't say what they're from

"Despite being surrounded by nearly his entire family, Henry has never felt so alone."

"The settee really isn’t made for two people to lounge on, and yet, Alex and Henry manage."

"As Alex turns off the shower, he realizes just how little the fan in his hotel room is doing to prevent condensation from building up."

[epithetical]

2024 UPDATE (OFFICIAL)

Hey, everyone. Longtime no talk. Despite being weirdly active on this account, I haven't really made any textposts since high school. So I've decided to fix this by giving a gigantic update post about my very busy 2023. If you're new and don't know anything about me, or knew me as a teen and are wondering what I'm up to now: buckle up.

TL;DR:

Dropped out of art school. Released an award-nominated(???) dating sim, ValiDate. Killed the Golden Girls Take Manhattan DX. Conquered Jaw Explosion Disease. Hung out with some friends. (Also, a lot of NDA shit that I can’t talk about.)

ART-SCHOOL DROPOUT

From 2021 to 2022, I was attending a prestigious and overly-expensive art school for their (brand new!) game design program. When I first graduated from high school, this college was my dream choice, and coming off the success of my early game dev career, it seemed like a perfect opportunity to polish my skills while I kept working on the side. My first commercial game was still in development, but we were feeling comfortable, and I felt like getting greedy.

Pride before the fall. Full Icarus mode. You know how it goes.

The school itself was…alright. Satellite campus, mid-pandemic, hybrid learning. Close enough to commute comfortably, classes just long enough for masks to not give me a headache, and the handful of remote courses helped keep my medical problems at bay. Problems that the school was a little unequipped to help with, though the disability office did their best. I had to drop a class because my body, at the time, couldn’t handle eight hours of classes without some Crazy Side Effects. 

(Keep in mind that every class was, minimum, four hours. And I had to take at least five a semester. Each class also saw me make an entire game from scratch. My body was already at its limit.)

If you knew me in high school, you’re probably waiting for the shoe to drop: I was, famously, the worst at academics. Never did homework, rarely finished projects, slept through first period at least once a week. Surprise, though: I was fucking great at this. My GPA doubled. Turns out that going to school for a discipline you already have a career in, and are kinda obsessed with, kinda does wonders for you. Unfortunately, I picked the worst time to care about school, since my commercial game’s release was the same exact night that my five school games were due.

TL;DR, I didn’t sleep for a week, almost fucked both up, and got burnout so bad that I couldn’t do anything for a calendar year. So I dropped out! Now, about a year of job hunting later (the game’s industry is imploding right now, and the only studios that considered me were… questionable, to say the least), the expensive art school wants me back. So badly. Turns out the whole school is so broke and understaffed right now that they’re basically chomping at the bit for that tuition money. Got a week to decide. Jury’s still out.

VALIDATE POST-MORTEM

So, if you couldn’t tell from the above section, we released a game in 2022!  I was supposed to write a post-mortem for it, but… burnout from the above, combined with general “post-release depression,” and I didn’t feel like touching it. 

Part of me still doesn’t! 

Yet I kinda think the feeling of me not wanting to talk about ValiDate is still worth discussing, so here we go:

For those of you that aren’t aware, I was a head dev on ValiDate, a dating sim that released in 2022. Volume 1 (of 3) did, anyway.

Did a lot of music, did a lot of writing, created some characters people really care about, created some characters people really want to fuck, made a couple Tweets that my boss hated, got accused of being reverse racist a few times. It was truly one of the most exciting and rewarding experiences of my life. And, yes, we’re still working on Vol. 2 behind the scenes. 

That’s actually the reason why it’s kinda hard to talk about Vol. 1!

It was my first commercial game, my first publicly released game, and I think there’s always gonna be a… natural embarrassment toward your first “real” project. Combine that with my natural “if you stare at me for too long, I will kill myself” tendencies, and the game’s release was a special type of torture. It’s one thing to watch people play through a game that you poured your blood, sweat, and tears into, knowing full well that they might hate it (or just misunderstand it), but shit gets so much worse when you know that you could have done better. 

It’s a very special kind of psychological torture to have creative decisions you feel were mistakes, things you half-assed because of burnout or deadlines, or things you did wrong because you just didn’t know any better! The embarrassment was overwhelming, so I just… dipped for a while. Didn’t watch gameplay or read reviews, didn’t do much of anything.

Took me a while to realize that me being embarrassed about the project isn’t because ValiDate was bad or anything. I was embarrassed because it was an incredible learning opportunity for me. The amount that I picked up on game design, community management, leadership, marketing, pitching, porting, etc. in two years is more than any school could teach you in four. Volume 1 was a game made by amateurs, still wet behind the ears, trying to build something from grassroots. 

But Volume 2 is a game-ass game. 

And having done all the work we have on Vol. 2 (which, while I can’t talk about it publicly, is a lot!), looking back at our first release feels like… revisiting your awkward middle school photos. Sometimes it’s hard to not feel contempt for who you were when your biggest struggle was becoming, but learning to choke down that shame? It taught me to feel grateful for the you of yesterday, who clawed their way through uncertainty so that you, today, can stand on sturdier ground. Growing up is embarrassing, and it turns out you keep doing it well into your twenties! Sucks. 

For the past few days, Dani and I have been watching a Twitch streamer play through Volume 1. We’ve been so deep in planning for the future that we figured, hey, may as well revisit the past. Detached from all that embarrassment of becoming, I gotta admit: we made a fun little dating sim. People like it. Hell, I like it. Sure, I know all of its flaws and shortcuts, and I have my fair share of critiques… but fact of the matter is, if I have a problem with something, I can just fix it. 

Admittedly, In the past, that attitude of mine has actually been more of a problem than a solution. “I can fix this myself!” is all fine and good when you’re a solo dev trying to throw something together, but it turns out taking on excess responsibility in a collaborative setting is a way to make shit suck for you and your team. During the Kickstarter demo era, I was literally on every team besides art. Writing, programming, music, I got my fingers in all those pies. It was fun to me, and more importantly, it was sustainable. 

Until it wasn’t.

Volume 1 coinciding with my tenure at [art school], using a (finicky and, frankly, shitty) new game engine, being much larger in scope, introducing minigames (which, surprise, I was team lead on)... I pretty much killed myself trying to get it all done. Honestly, I blame half of our day-one bugfixes on me specifically. Every single one of them was an oversight made because I was pulling the classic “I’m unmedicated so crunching is the only way I can feel alive” type shit. 

Except for the OST. That one sucked because art school sucks all the joy out of creating.

Happy to say that our workflow for Volume 2 has been much more sustainable for me, even if I’ve officially broken my “no art” rule for it. Yeah, turns out I’m finally making use of that animation major. Sucks.

Self reflection over. Except for one last note:

If you’ve followed ValiDate, played our demo, donated to the Kickstarter, replied to our Tweets, played our second demo, bought our game, or just talked about us to a friend… I am so, so grateful. Beyond what words could possibly describe. It’s been my dream for as long as I can remember become a game developer, and I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you guys. Vd8 wasn’t what I expected the cornerstone of my career to be, but honestly? I couldn’t have asked for a better one. We have Vriska in our game. How many people can possibly say that?

And to those of you still waiting for Volume 2:

You haven’t seen anything yet.

GAYMING AWARDS

Speaking of ValiDate… Did you hear we were nominated for some Gayming Awards last year? We were! 

Three other head Vd8 devs (Dani: Production, Alexis: Art, Cam: Code) flew out to beautiful New York City for the award show last March, which was actually our first time actually meeting up IRL. Really funny how I’ve known Dani since I was fifteen, but here we were, a decade later, finally meeting face to face. She’s so much taller in person. I’m still taller, but barely.

Meeting up with internet friends is one thing (and more on that later!), but meeting up with internet coworkers? It’s interesting. This was the first moment that ValiDate felt “real,” seeing as it was suddenly important enough to give us comp’d flights and a hotel room, but more than that: the people I’ve been working with for years exist? We’re all hanging out together? We’re wandering through Manhattan all day? We’re eating the most disgusting food at Junior’s in Times Square? We’re trying to figure out what this mystery liquid is? How much did this food cost again? (Seriously, my onion rings were 90% dough and 10% onion.)

While I won’t bore you with the minutiae—I think my friends would prefer the privacy anyway—the entire trip to NYC was fun, exhausting, and a dream-come-true.

Except for that goddamn award show. Jesus CHRIST, what a trainwreck.

No, I’m not saying that just because we lost. We did lose, though. (Personally, I was fine with it, but I also had to travel the least distance to get there. So…) I’m saying that because the entire Gayming Awards industrial complex was, uh, kinda busted this year?

So imagine, you’re us: bunch of twenty-somethings on your Sex and the City shit. Big award show tonight, formal attire. We’re talking high heels, long dresses, full suits, the whole nine yards. Now what do you do in Manhattan? Walk. Sure, we weren’t walking in formal attire the entire time, but it was still a good five blocks to the award center where—wait, what do you mean they relocated the ceremony? The hall they rented is closed for mysterious reasons? Where the hell are we doing the award show?

If you answered “the drag bar where the afterparty was supposed to take place,” congrats, here’s $20. Way further away from our hotel, which meant more walking, and also a way smaller venue with a lot less… formality, let’s say. But we’re young gay people, we don’t care about formalities, who gives a shit! As long as it can seat all of us, then—oh there’s no seating. Ohhhh. Oh! Okay.

I’ll admit, that’s a bit of an exaggeration. There were a handful of couches, VIPs only. Realizing quickly that, oh shit, we’re VIPs, we managed to snag some front-seat couches before any of the pesky old people could. (We’re young! We deserve to sit! You’ve had your entire lives to sit, established games industry people! Let the new generation have a turn!) Unfortunately, when I got up to cash in my free-drink voucher, my seat was stolen by some white lady. 

So I sat on the floor.

March 2023. You, sitting at home, have decided to tune into the Gayming Awards “live” on Twitch, curious to see what Britain’s premiere gayming magazine had to say about, uh, esports. 

This is important to you. 

Fortunately, this year you’re watching a decently shot and scripted award show filmed in a (noticeably claustrophobic) little bar, complete with charming presenters (many of whom are local drag queens) and a myriad of corporate sponsors. You can hardly tell that the entire show was uprooted and moved hours prior!

Yet, for some reason, whenever the cameras cut to the audience… There’s some large man, right in front of the crowd, slumped down on the floor as if he’s bleeding out. With every award given, his clapping grows weaker. The more the camera cuts to him, the more life drains from his body, as if his existence itself is anathema to “gayming.”

Imagine, for a moment, that this man is nominated for an award. 

Imagine that he, after a lifetime of potassium deficiency, has been teetering on the edge of a Charlie Horse Reckoning for hours.

Imagine that the microsecond that his game’s name is called as a nominee, the Reckoning begins. 

Now imagine a world where he wins that award. 

A world where he is forced to stand—from his corpse’s rightful place on the ground!—in front of his peers and superiors, pretending as if he’s not afflicted with a life-ending muscle cramp.

So, yeah. I was pretty fine with losing.

Later, we ditched the “afterparty” to drink at Applebees. (Turns out “green tea shots” don’t have any green tea in ‘em?)

EULOGY FOR THE GOLDEN GIRLS TAKE MANHATTAN DX

Big announcement! I was a team lead on The Golden Girls Take Manhattan DX, a certified Tumblr Gold™ fan-project (by the immortal Grawly) about the eponymous Gold Girls in a Persona-esque parody game! 

Slightly bigger announcement! The game got cancelled. Sorry.

Feels a little weird talking about this, since the year-ish I spent working on the game passed in the blink of an eye, and I’m not going to lie and say that I was an instrumental piece of the team or whatever. I was lucky enough to lead a very talented team, and to play with some very fun devtools, but the game was definitely more important to me than I was to it. (Grawly, if by some off-chance you’re reading this, please click off now. You can peek back in at the Jaw Explosion Disease subheader. I promise I’m very nice and respectful.)

I was in high school when I was first made aware of TGGTMDX. My friend group was very into Persona (in the pre-P5 days), and one of our favorite video subgenres was “videogame UI on top of sitcom scenes.” It didn’t take us long to stumble onto early-build footage of TGGTMDX on Tumblr, and what spawned was a years-long fascination. I’d even consider it one of my many… game dev awakenings? The idea that the only thing stopping me from making “American Persona”—one of my many white whales—was commitment to the bit. Just one of the many things that fueled my teenaged suicidal overconfidence.

Speaking of suicidal overconfidence, about a decade later, I was invited to work on the game! Coming fresh off ValiDate, I was desperate for a chance to make a real portfolio piece (visual novels, while popular, will never get you a job), and this sort of opportunity only presents itself once in a lifetime. Fulfilling a teenage dream while furthering your career? What could possibly go wrong!

That makes it seem like there was some explosive drama behind the scenes that ruined everything. Sorry to say that most game cancellations aren’t that exciting, and that this game’s death was by a thousand microscopic cuts. Most of which are not my place to talk about: this game wasn’t my baby, and cancelling it wasn’t my choice to make! Many people worked on this for much, much longer than I even knew how to code, and they deserve to have their feelings prioritized. Whenever that post mortem gets published, I’ll be the first to reblog it, trust me. 

Instead, I’d prefer to talk a little about this as being my first real “loss” as a game dev. Certainly not my first project to go under, and I’ve had my fair share of shelved prototypes, but something about this cancellation was… different. Working on your dream project is all fun and games until you feel partially responsible for it dying, y’know? It felt Sisyphean at a point, like trying to dig a hole in the sand with a pitchfork. I would work at the game, and work at the game, but nothing I did felt like it made a dent. 

Part of me knew I wasn’t giving it my all, between the school-based burnout (above), jaw explosion disease (below), and ValiDate (omnipresent), it’s not like I could’ve afforded to put more of myself into it. Besides, I was literally a team lead, half my job was telling other people what to do. But the spectre of “you’re not doing enough” was hard to shake. Even when all these other responsibilities ebbed and I could afford to give this game my all, the difference felt minimal. 

We spend a lot of time pitying Sisyphus for having to push that boulder uphill over and over, but none of us ask ourselves “could we even move that big fucking rock in the first place?” Apparently, I couldn’t.

I wasn’t the only one that felt that way, it turned out. In fact, pretty much all the friends I made on the project felt the same. If there’s any “real” reason why the project got cancelled, it’s that. No big falling out, Disney didn’t give us a cease and desist, no secret rebrand going on in the background. Just a bunch of lads getting sick of pushing a boulder. Hell, Grawly’s been doing it for a decade. Let him rest.

Not too much rest, though: we’re already working on a different game together (Date Knight: check it out if you haven’t!), and some of us ex-Golden Girls devs have some ideas for what else we can cook up. 

For money, this time.

JAW EXPLOSION DISEASE

Probably the biggest “development” of 2023 was my sudden horrible nerve pain in July, which started as a sinus infection on the left side of my face, and soon became a horrific jaw pain. Long after my sinus infection healed, the jaw pain remained, which is a pretty bad hand to draw when a considerable portion of your day is spent “talking,” or “eating.” So, for the back half of 2023, I didn’t do much of either.

Instead, I had to take a considerable amount of ibuprofen, visit one doctor, three dentists, two hospitals, and four oral surgeons to figure out what the hell is wrong with me. The dentists discovered an exposed nerve, caused by wisdom tooth removal complications (sick!), the oral surgeons went “okay, we can fix that,” got me all numbed up. But it turns out that my left jaw is immune to local anesthesia! Thinking this was an infection, they kept putting me on antibiotics over and over in the hopes that it’d suddenly work. Took a note from my childhood dentist explaining that, “no, he’s always been like this” to find a surgeon willing to put me all the way under. (And then, the first time they tried, I woke up in the middle anyway! I got a full refund on the copay, at least.) 

Ultimately, I found a very nice surgeon in December that treated me same-day, and did it perfectly, but the damage to my liver from all that ibuprofen was… bad. But it turns out that livers just… regenerate naturally? So, give it a few months, I’ll be at 100%. Hopefully.

OOMFCON

Hilariously, six months after we met up for the Gayming Awards, Dani and Alexis found their way back to NYC for a little combination meet-up/vacation we affectionately titled “Oomfcon 2023.” This time, with bonus friends! Our entire friend server, whose name I’ve been advised not to post publicly, had rented an AirBnB for anyone willing to drop everything and go to Brooklyn. 

It took about a year of planning (mostly by Alexis) to get us all out there, but Jesus Christ, it actually worked.

Admittedly I’m a bit hesitant to talk at length about “taking a vacation”—even though I’m already… from here?—but it really was the highlight of my year. First for actually happening, when most friend groups I’ve had would have written the idea off as a pipedream, but mostly for being a really good time. A lot of walking, a lot of talking, a lot of drinking, a lot of dining. (This was during Jaw Explosion Disease, so you can imagine how my body took most of that.)

To Dani, Alexis, Miles, Haven, Grim, Xtine, and Ty: thanks for coming up here! The city is a lot more boring without you guys in it. I promise to have less health issues when we do this again!

And to everyone else outside the groupchat that I met and bored with my job hunt stories: Nice meeting you guys! Sorry that fate decided every single one of you is forced to keep in touch with me. (And I didn’t even get the shitty corporate job!)