#it must have done something right to stick in my mind for so many years

[luveline]

hey jade!! i love kisses before dinner and was wondering (if you like the idea) maybe you could write something about avery realising how scary giving birth can be and starts worry about it before the new baby arrives? <3<3<3

thank you for your request! kisses before dinner —mom!you and dad!steve comfort avery when she has concerns for your health. fem!reader, 3k

cw discussed maternal mortality and death

Steve Harrington looks out over the kitchen table that night with a great sense of success. You're sitting at the other end with Dove on your knee, feeding her bites of macaroni cheese between feigned spoonfuls given to her rainbow teddy bear. Bethie sits to his left eating without complaint (a victory considering her pickiness). Avery sits to his right, trying to pour her own glass from the juice jug. It's awesome. 

Steve quickly swallows the drink he'd been sipping on and offers to help her, hand extended, "Here. I got it."

"I can do it," Avery insists, her long arms shaking under the weight. 

He doesn't mind her being independent, nor her improving capabilities, but the last thing he wants to do tonight is clean up a huge juice spill. Steve takes the juice gently and refills her plastic cup. 

"Dad," she whines. 

"Avery," he whines back. 

She huffs and grabs her fork, ignoring her fresh cup of juice to shovel in bites of broccoli and macaroni instead. 

"I think I'm done," Bethie says. Steve must have jinxed it. 

He attempts to do the impossible —convince Bethie to finish dinner. He takes up station by the side of her chair, having tried everything now, and only this works. 

"Beth," he says, putting his hand behind her back, "Are you sure there's no room left? I don't want you to be hungry again before we go to bed 'cos you won't tell me, will you?" 

"I'm full," she insists, reaching for her drink bottle. 

"Is there something wrong with it?" he asks, rubbing up and down her back.

"No, daddy, it's nice," she says. She isn't quite convincing, but she tries. 

Steve looks at her. She looks like Steve sometimes, like neither of you other times, but mostly he looks at her and he sees you. Your smile, your frown, Bethie's tell is the same as yours when she lies. Steve can read you both like a book. 

"Is it cold?" he asks, sticking his pinky finger in the corner of her macaroni. "A little. If I heat it back up for you, would that make it better?" 

"No, please," she says. 

He sighs. "Make you something else? Sandwiches?" 

"I'm not hungry, daddy." 

Steve plasters a smile over his worries and kisses her cheek. "Okie smokie. Well done, honey, you ate lots and lots. Let's try even more for breakfast, yeah?" 

"Yes!" she agrees, sliding off of her chair.

"Where are you going?" he asks. 

"Need to pee!" she yells, running to the stairs. She opens the baby gate (which she’s known how to do for too many years, way before supposed to know how to —thanks so much, Avery) and Steve listens to her sprint up the stairs with a wince. 

"Call me if you need help!" he yells after her. 

"Okay!" 

"You think that's why she didn't want to eat?" you ask, wiping the corners of Dove's mouth with her bib. 

Steve stands up and stretches his arms behind his head. "I don't know," he says, rolling his neck around in a circle. 

"Is it gross if I eat her leftovers?" you ask. 

"I'll make you another pot, if you want it," Steve offers, arms dropping down to his side. He's been trying to get back into shape lately. It's not working out. "You having cravings?" 

"I'm just hungry all the time," you say, your voice melding into a sing song as you finish wiping Dove's face. "All done! Good girl, Dovey! You're my good girl." You plaster her forehead with a layer of kisses before putting her down on the floor. She wobbles, hands on your thighs. "Okay? You want another drink?"

"Dotty Dolly," she says, taking your hand. "Please. Please, Dolly."

"Yeah, my love. I'm coming." You groan as you stand up, not quite pregnant enough to worry about popping soon but more than enough to feel exhaustion to the marrow. 

"Just me and you then," Steve says to Avery, tucking in chairs and piling plates at the table. 

"Me and you, sir," she agrees in a funny voice. 

"Still mad at me?" 

She remembers to glare at him. "Yes!" She takes another bite of macaroni. "Okay, no." 

"If you're not gonna chew with your mouth closed, put your hand over your mouth. I don't wanna see your chewed up dinner." Avery pokes her tongue out, laughing when Steve says, "Ewww." 

He sets the leftovers aside for you rather than waste Bethie's largely untouched pasta in the trash, stacking the dishes in the sink and wetting a cloth to wipe down the table. He cleans around Avery, squeezing her neck, shoulders and arms to make her squirm as he goes.

"You want seconds?" he asks, returning to the sink. 

"I want dessert." 

"Good idea. You know Mom's so pregnant all she does lately is wake me up for ice cream."

"She wakes you up?" Avery asks. 

"By accident trying to put her socks on at the end of the bed. Baby's getting too big now, she can't see her toes." 

"It's a good thing she has you, dad."

"Yeah, but you'd help mommy, wouldn't you? Help her put her shoes on if she couldn't reach?" 

Avery hops off of her chair and passes him her plate, completely clean of food. She grows like a bamboo shoot and eats like a rabid dog. He loves it. She's evidence that he's a good cook. 

"Thank you. What did you want for dessert?" he asks. 

"I have something to ask you." 

"Oh." Steve hates the sound of that, theorising that she wants a new something or other he'll have to say no to. He grabs her by the waist, wet hands and all, hoisting her up onto the counter by the dish rack. He puts a rag in her hands. "You dry and I'll answer." 

"It's a weird question," Avery warns.   

"Avery, you wouldn't believe how weird some of the questions I've asked are. Don't worry about it." 

He scrunches dirty water out of the dish sponge and squirts soap onto a dirty plate. The hot water burns his fingertips. Avery dries a plastic plate diligently, her question coming out slow as running wax. 

"Mom's gonna be okay, right?" she asks quietly. 

Steve fights to keep his eyebrows down. They bob anyways. "Okay from what?" 

"When she has the baby. She's not going to get hurt?" 

"Well, having a baby really hurts. But there's medicine for her to take, and I'll be there to hold her hand." 

"No," Avery says, frowning, "that's not…" 

"Sorry, Ave. Ask me again, try a different word." 

She puts the dried plate down to her left and picks another to dry. "Will mom die?" 

"No," he says. Doesn't miss a beat, though his pulse capers. He knows that childbirth is hard, that lots of things can go wrong, but if he truly thought you might die he wouldn't have asked for another baby. And even if he did think it were going to happen, it's not a thought Avery needs to have. "She won't die, I promise you. Where'd you get that idea, honey?" 

"Jordan's mom died having a baby." 

Steve nods and tries to recalibrate the conversation. He knew of Jordan's mom passing away, he made a couple of trays of food for Jordan's dad and put money in the collection plate for her memorial, but he didn't know Avery knew precisely how it happened. 

"Right, she did," he says gently. "And that's scary, huh?" 

"Why can't it happen to mommy if it happened to her?" Avery asks. 

Steve shuts off the water. Hand still wet, he rubs his forehead roughly. "Can I have that?" he asks Avery, gesturing for the dish cloth. She gives it to him, putting down her last plate, and Steve wipes his fingers dry to pick her up without getting her wet a second time. 

"Let's have a talk," he says, tilting his head to the side. He sees his eyes looking back at him, smaller and softer, longer lashes but the same honeyed brown. "Me, you, and mommy. Okay?" 

"Dad," she says, startled. 

"It's okay, It'll be better if you talk to mom, too, because it's mom that's already had babies, not me. I think I know everything because my brain is so big and stuff, but I can't tell you what your mom is thinking." 

"I don't want mommy to get upset," she says. 

It's partially his fault for asking her to tell him if there's a problem rather than you a few weeks ago. He didn't want you walking up and down the stairs unnecessarily, and your blood pressure is something they've been keeping an eye on. He didn't mean for Avery to bottle things up. Every time Steve thinks he's doing something right it finds a way to bite him in the ass. 

"I meant if Bethie's turned the faucet on and flooded the bathroom, or if you want to change your bed or something, not that you can't ask her things that are worrying you," he says, readjusting her weight. Her knees dig into his sides as he carries her to the living room doorway from the kitchen. 

"Hey, mom?" he asks. 

Your head jumps up. You're sitting on the edge of the couch with Dove's face in your knee, a dribble patch dampening your pants. Bethie has her hand in yours sitting next to you. You're still in your work clothes, your bump straining against everything now, but yet to drop. He'll have to wash your pants tonight. 

"Hey?" you say, a guilty smile tugging up your pretty mouth. "I'm coming to do the dishes, I swear. My girls caught me in their net." 

"Can we talk to you? For a minute," Steve says. 

Your eyes widen. You stand up with a funny noise like someone's stepped on your toes, lifting Dove by the armpits to sit next to Bethie. You kiss the girls goodbye and they're too distracted by Dotty Dolly playing on the TV to mind. 

"What's wrong?" you ask, following Steve back into the kitchen. 

"Want me to explain?" Steve asks Avery. She nods. "Avery's a little worried about you." 

"About me?" You put your hands under your face and beam at her. "What's worrying you? I've never been better." 

"She's worried about when you have the baby." 

"'Cos of Jordan's mom," Avery whispers. 

You hear it despite her small voice, your smile sobering. "I see… I see. You know… you're a big girl, Avery. You're my big girl, and I wish I could keep you this young forever sometimes, but I know that you know that people don't get to stay with us forever, so I don't want to scare you, but I'll tell you what I think, yeah?" 

Avery swallows around nothing. 

Steve gives her back a sympathetic pat. "It's okay," he says to her, enthusing his voice with some pep to calm her down. 

"Jordan's mommy was sick when she passed away," you say, your hand resting on your bump now, inching closer to Steve and Avery where they've paused under the kitchen light. "She knew things were going to be hard. When you have a baby, you know things won't be easy, but it's not fair. It's very sad. She," —you look at Steve with a parent familiar fear that says, Am I saying the right things?— "said goodbye before anyone wanted her too, but Avery." Steve knows what you're going to say. It's a promise he made only minutes ago, one that you have no control over keeping, but a necessary one nonetheless to make. You could very well have complications down the line, things could spin out of control, but Avery doesn't need the stress of that hanging over her. "I promise you here and now that I'm not going anywhere. Daddy won't let me." 

He laughs a little breathlessly. "Damn straight." 

"But daddy isn't a doctor," Avery says, holding out her arm. 

You walk into Avery's reach, letting her climb from Steve's arms to yours without complaint. "He didn't have time to be a doctor, he was too busy being the best dad ever." 

"Are you flirting with me?" Steve asks. 

"Duh, Stevie." You turn your attention to Avery, struggling to hold her and stroke a hair from her face. "Don't worry about me. Promise me you won't, Ave." 

"I just don't want you to go away," Avery says with a frown. 

Steve feels an unexpected heat behind his eyes. You smile softly, your thumb on Avery's cheek. "Then I won't. I'll stay. I can't go anywhere without you, gorgeous." 

Steve strokes the back of Avery's head. "And I can't be without either of you, so mom doesn't have a choice." 

He wishes things were that simple. Steve has no idea what the future holds, but he chooses to believe it'll be a good one, where every one of his girls gets to grow old. But the future isn't something he can predict nor change by wishing alone. 

"Did that make much sense to you, sweetheart?" you ask Avery.

"It makes sense. Sorry." 

You and Steve make twin sounds of loving disbelief. 

"Sorry for what?" you ask, as Steve says, "No, God, don't be sorry!" 

"It's okay to ask me stuff," you say.

"That's what we're here for." 

Avery wraps her arms around your neck. "Are you sure you'll be okay?" she whispers, near imperceptibly, Steve's ears straining to hear her under the sounds of the water heater and the television. 

"I'm sure. I've done it three times already."

"Are you scared?" 

You shake your head resolutely. "No. You know why?" 

"Why?" 

"'Cos I know, at the end of it I might get another little girl who's just like you. Or like Beth, or Dove. Maybe I'll get one who's nothing like any of you, but I know with such a great big sister she's going to be amazing." 

Avery rests her cheek on your shoulder. "You think so?" 

"I know so." 

"Thank you," she says. 

You laugh again. "For what?" you ask, nails raking up and down the length of her back. "Only telling you what's true. Me and daddy think you're the bestest." 

Steve rubs his face with both hands rather than cry. Crying makes his eyes sore and he has to wake up at six AM tomorrow to take the girls to swimming lessons at seven thirty. (He also doesn't want Avery to see him crying and get the wrong idea, what with the previous conversation.) 

"Mom?" Bethie asks in the doorway. 

"Yes?" you murmur, resting your head atop Avery's gently. 

"Excuse me." 

You laugh a charmed laugh and scoot out of the way, resting your weight on the door jam. Bethie looks incredibly small idling at his feet, even though Dove is much smaller. She smiles nervously. 

"Daddy?" 

"Yes?" he asks, crossing his arms over his chest. He pretends to be nonchalant, while inside he's thinking about lots of things. Avery's huge heart and all her worries. Bethie's emerging cheekiness after years of quiet. Dove's roaring giggle when you squeeze her just right. And you, your bump, your devotion to him and the girls, but more than that —your voice and how you talk with all the good you possess. How you're talking now to Avery in dulcet tones. 

Bethie takes his hand. "Can I have the rest of my mac and cheese, please?" 

"Yeah, babe. Unless you want dessert instead?" 

His hand sways in her grip. "I want mac and cheese if that's okay." 

Steve picks her up with a typical dad groan. He'll check on Dove first, but he has no qualms with warming her mac and cheese. He'd offer to make you another helping if you weren't distracted entirely, nose bridge nuzzling into Avery's neck. 

He doesn't know what the future holds, but he hopes for more of this. 

[bee-the-loser]

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₊ ⊹☼ Pairing: The8/Xu Minghao x reader ₊ ⊹☼ Synopsis: Multiple chance encounters across lives, with a soul somehow fated to yours throughout ₊ ⊹☼ Genre: Reincarnation au, slight fantasy/historic au ₊ ⊹☼ Word count: 1.67k ₊ ⊹☼ Warnings: Mentions of death, loss and grief. Minor character death mentions ₊ ⊹☼ A/N: This has been sitting in my drafts for a while as I didn't feel that the story was done yet. However, it's at a good point right now to post. Maybe I'll return to add to it further at one point though.

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Loss is an emptiness that eats away at the soul, a metaphorical knife carving it’s design on the surface but leaving behind wounds deep enough to bleed. And the strange thing about loss is you let it. In a sense it’s a sickly beautiful thing to experience as the blood pours out staining over the pure memories and taints them to be forever red. A crimson red that’s the same as the heart that somehow still beats inside your chest, because while it feels like everything should be still, time moves on. Time still encourages hearts to beat and wounds to bleed.

And bleed they do…

Your first loss shouldn’t be considered that actually. There are so many factors that completely contradict it as “the first loss you experienced”. For a start, you had lost people before. A woman who never had the chance to be a mother, your mother, passing away before she got even a second with her child. A young boy, who once you considered a brother, starved under the night sky with his eyes locked onto the moon. After all, Grief was no stranger to your soul. He visited often and settled in your bones like a heavy sick reminder of life.

No, none of these was your first loss. A kind of deep grief, yes, but they felt inevitable somehow.

Your first loss came in a form you never expected. A loss of opportunity and the questions of what could have been. Leaving the first scar of many dotted over your skin.

You didn’t know his name the first time, you barely got to know him at all actually. It was a fleeting moment that stopped the world if just for a second. Even if it was just for you.

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The makeshift grave you created when Chan died was positioned out in a forest glade on the edge of town, giving him the privacy and peace he deserved. An ideal place for him to continue watching the night sky like he did when he was tangible, and now as a star, a place for him to look down on from above. It seems childish now thinking that was how the world worked, that he would stick around for you.

You know better now.

You had been spending the afternoon visiting him, after collecting flowers for your little stall, coming to rest up in the willow tree sheltering the glade from the outside view. The branches allowing you a raised position to look down below, which is how you spotted him initially. This dark haired beauty dressed in clothes that didn’t seem typical for that of normal adventurers. You assumed that’s what he must be, no one else tends to come out that far. Somehow, he had stumbled onto Chan’s clearing though, only the fates may know how, and came to a pause in front of the poorly carved headstone you placed on the first death anniversary. It didn’t matter that there was no body to bury, his memory would live on.

Something about that resonated in this figure’s mind. It wasn’t obvious at first but moments later when you got the first glimpse at his soul-bearing eyes and the way they scanned the words told you all you needed. He was memorising the words, breathing out his very essence into the world and immortalising this time. The phrase you had heard many times before bringing tears to your eyes as it was spoken out loud after a year again.

“The moon sure is lonely tonight”. He was just reading out loud that time, but maybe that’s why it left such an impact. There were no deeper connotations or commitments that suffocated the moment. It was raw and real.

If given the chance of every lifetime, you would chose to return to this moment eternally.

He left not long after that with a new print on his soul in the name of Lee Chan and the fleeting thoughts of a phrase once whispered. It wasn’t until afterwards that you saw the carefully placed bundle of forget-me-nots. Flowers that symbolise memorises and the concept of thinking of loved one ones while one is away. You don’t remember ever have crying as hard as you did that night as you allowed yourself to break down after having repressed everything for a long time. The hope that someone else would continue to think of the young boy and maybe one day return providing a sort of comfort you never realised you needed.

You continued with your routines and visits but never once saw the stranger again. Your first loss came unexpectedly and you couldn’t help but think of what could have happened if things were different. Had Chan been alive to greet him? Had you spoken out to him? Had you got to know him? But you didn’t and so the opportunity passed by and life continued until death came to claim you too.

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What you didn’t expect was the life that came after and the memories that flickered back to you slowly. You could remember it all clearly at first but the more time progressed and lives were lived, the hazier things became. So you wrote to remember. Diary entries inked across pages depicting and detailing each moment and connection you continued to share.

It took you a total of three lives to realise you and your stranger were somehow connected. You seemed destined to spot him under the moonlight over and over again, each time bringing something new for you to note.

However, it was your fourth life that something truly changed, with an opportunity for the two of you to introduce yourselves. A night-time balcony overlooking the palace gardens providing a shared relief from the noise of the party inside. You had yet to see your stranger that lifetime and you certainly weren’t expecting to find him approaching you from behind on his own escape from the ballroom.

Your eyes had found comfort in the solitude of the starlit sky, with a faint recollection of a young voice discussing constellations in great enthusiasm. Your body curled up onto the stone edge with the coldness contrasting to the heat radiating from the party inside. There had been no mention of the balcony being off limits but it seemed abandoned in that moment similar to how you felt. Maybe that is why when you heard the small thuds of footsteps approaching you assumed it was a guard coming to bring you inside. However, as you turned around to face them, your breath stalled inside your throat.

There he was…

Face to face, the moments that followed allowed you both to subtly scan each other’s figures, sharing a second of joint solitude. His clothes reflecting his obviously high social status, yet you naturally found yourself focusing on his deep, knowledgeable eyes. The ones that both equally haunted and comforted your thoughts. Then he spoke and his light voice rung out in a whisper like he was afraid to break the silence.

“I’m sorry for interrupting you, but I needed some time away from the chaos and couldn’t help but notice you out here alone with only the moon for company. You both seemed rather lonely tonight. Would you mind me joining you?”

The paraphrasing of the familiar line rang in your ears as you couldn’t help but tear up and turn back to the full moon in an attempt for comfort.

“Not at all, feel free to join us.”

His figure stepping closer as he approached the balcony edge himself and admired the view before the two of you. It was a comfortable silence that followed, neither of you feeling the need to fill it with meaningless chatter at first. However, as you turned to gain another glance at him, wanting to capture every detail for your writing later on, your gaze fell onto the baby blue flowers that lay in his pocket.

“Forget-me-nots?”

As he turned to meet your eyes, he saw the way they lingered onto his flowers and then noticed the similar ones decorated into your own outfit.

“Hmm, there is something special about the resilience of these little blossoms which bloom in clusters throughout marshy harsh terrain. In a sense I admire the way they manage to preserve and grow with those tough conditions. It’s something I often see reflected in humanity, although, unlike the flowers, not often do people manage to make it full bloom I find.”

The philosophical answer was not one you had expected from him, but certainly wasn’t unwelcome. You had your own greater meanings to the flowers that you shared back with careful consideration, still unsure of if your stranger retained his memories like you. It was something you noted in a previous life where you tried to speak to a different Chan and was left alone once more, that not everyone had the privilege, or was it a curse, to remember like you do.

“For me, they symbolise remembering those who once were but no longer are. A promise to keep the memories of them alive for as long as you live. The stories you experienced and the thoughts you shared allowing a part of them to stay.”

Silence settled back down between the two of you, which is why you could hear the song that started to play out by the band. A slow dance of sorts. In some twist of destiny, he reached his hand out and asked for your hand before the two of you spent time twirling across the balcony. This moment shared only by you two and the sky.

As you came to a close and the clocks chimed to signal an hour passing, with you settled in your stranger’s arms, two names were breathed out into the universe before you parted ways and he disappeared back into the ball.

“Xu Minghao.”

A name meaning brightness and vastness, one that seemed to fit the person you came to spend time with perfectly.

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[4dkellysworld]

Alright so what I do to release is I bring up a thought or desire that I want to let go of. For example, a desire like I want to have clear skin. I then ask 'can I let go of this desire?" And then ask 'would I let go of this desire?' And finally I ask 'When?'. (Because I obviously don't want to carry that desire with me anymore and would like to be done with it, my answer towards those questions are always yes.) After the process I do tend to feel a little light sometimes, but then when I think about the desire again I still want it.

I just finished reading a pdf that goes into details on Lester's experience with dropping limitations and how he did it within those 3 months. And he basically talked about how some thoughts would take some time to drop and he would basically just keep releasing those until they were fully gone. Reading that helped me realize that maybe I am doing this right and I just need to keep releasing the desire and it will soon completely go. I have had this desire for almost 7 years now so i guess my attachment to it might be too strong and so that it why it's not going away in one session?

But anyways your inputs are always appreciated so if there is anything you want to let me know about or help me with, like maybe the conclusions i came to aren't fully correct, you can.

It does look like you're releasing correctly. However, as I've reiterated in many of my previous posts/answers now, releasing is just one form of letting go of ego, not the only one. I've found it best not to get too fixated on sticking to the one method and try to make everything fit into it by necessarily applying it to absolutely everything, it's better to assess each limitation on a case by case basis, be flexible and then do what feels right intuitively. It may be that releasing is not the best way to go about it for this particular desire. (But yes, for certain thoughts that are deeply rooted, it can take more than one session to completely release. It's best not to have expectations on how long it takes to release something)

Here are some other forms of letting go of ego you could explore if it resonates with you.

Identify the causative thoughts for why you don't have clear skin (for your example) and then drop them.

If we want a perfect body and we don’t have a perfect body, it means that we don’t have the conviction that we can make the body perfect. It means we are subconsciously holding in our mind a consciousness of an imperfect body. The body is an exact copy of the mind, the body being only our consciousness projected outwardly. We must change our subconscious thinking until we subconsciously have the conviction that our body is perfect. That will do it. - Lester Levenson, The Keys to the Ultimate Freedom

This follows the principle of taking responsibility for everything that happens to you, including the body and all circumstances. The body is simply a manifestation of your thoughts. For example, when people get sick, it's really that they are doing it to themselves (most often it's unconscious) as a result of various thoughts they had previously that became a habit and mindset. Taking Lester as an example, he found out that his health issues were a result of wanting love and approval from the world, wanting to change things in the world and fearing death itself. For past me who had health challenges, I realized I was used to thinking as the victim and believed that I needed to be in a state that garnered pity (such as being sick) in order to be safe and perceived as non-threatening and this naturally manifested eventually in health issues because I wanted to be safe and felt I wasn't! In other examples Lester has said, he has mentioned that skin rashes are really manifestations of mental irritations or conflicts that have now surfaced and to correct this is to identify what it is and then resolve it (undo it, see it isn't true, drop it). I've also realized that everything on the body are quite literally just thoughts that have taken form and are being expressed on the body (including suppressed emotions which is why releasing is important!) - if the body is not in a state of harmony, then the mind is not either because all comes from the mind. Obviously all limitations are silly to hold onto once you identify what they are and they should be dropped. These are just examples and your own thoughts that manifested into skin that you don't prefer won't necessarily be the same as these.

2. Identify why this particular desire exists. What does it symbolize to you? Beauty? Freedom? Purity? Health? All of the above or something else? Be honest with yourself and see what it represents to you. This is the lack that you perceive, this is what you think you don't have but in fact as infinite beings we never lack anything, the lack and limitations are just illusions, old programming & conditioning we once believed and accepted that are now operating automatically in the background but it isn't true. Then can you see how that lack isn't true after identifying it (feel free to reason it out and use logic to see how it is untrue)? If not, apply the exercise detailed here to what you perceive you lack (replace love with whatever it is you identified).

Once this core lack has been properly addressed and dissolved, you could see yourself having the symbol too (in whatever way suits you) but I think it's important not to attribute fulfillment or happiness to these externals. See first that it is all coming from within you then once you've set that right, you can have the symbol too if you want - so long you understand it's only a symbol and you aren't being dependent on it for fulfilling perceived lack.

You could try let go of it in a 4 step process as I've detailed in the second part of this ask here. I recommend doing each step completely and mindfully before moving onto the next rather than rush through them and then have to repeat the whole thing again.

Release any emotions and feelings attached to the limitation that is to be dropped by bringing it to mind and allowing them to be. You can use this method as a guide and modify it how you feel is best

Investigate within and identify the causative thoughts for the limitation then drop them

Identify what the core essence(s) are that you believe you lack (that this limitation represents or what you want this symbol to fulfill) and then either drop the belief of lack or allow yourself to see, feel and know that you are complete, whole and fulfilled (using whatever method feels right).

(Optional) See yourself having the symbol if you want - so long you understand it's only a symbol and aren't dependent on it for fulfilling perceived lack.

In all of this, the attitude is not to try to get rid of or fix something that is "wrong". Apply lots of love, kindness, compassion, understanding and patience. Don't fight the dream - the more you resist, the more it persists but what you look at and accept is given the opportunity to be released and dissolved. Accept everything and see them as neutral, even the parts that you don't prefer. Allow everything to be as it is. Then allow yourself to change your mind and think differently in ways that you prefer, without trying to make anything happen in the world. As Neville said "Indifference is the knife that severs. Feeling is the tie that binds."

Patience is key. Drop all expectations. Just focus on your state of consciousness, instead of getting things in the world. Don't look to the world for what is within.

[layzeal]

Hi! I love your analysis on the characters because you always seem nice and open minded and not the kind of "I'm right, you are wrong", that's why I wanted to hear your opinion on this topic!

I've read that one of the most important character trait of Lan Wangji is being a sadistic, and instantly I was like "what but he's not AT ALL like that". I thought that person could be an anti but actually they wanted to praise the character. I have still thousand doubts because maybe it's me who totally read the character wrong after all this time, and because I've never read such opinion on the character, neither from the novel fandom nor from the drama or donghua fandom.

What do you think about it? :)

hi anon!! thank you 💓💕❤️ i'm glad you like them!!! (and i'm glad i come across that way, even though i have certainly slipped and said some things like that hahaha)

so my first reaction was "HUH?????" but i think i understand what that person must be talking about! and while i can't say that find his sadism "one of his most important character traits", it IS something that i think it's very endearing about Lan Wangji!!

(long post under the cut lmao)

so before we elaborate, lemme specify that in this case, i am specifically talking about the sexual, BDSM meaning for sadism. here, a sadist is someone who finds sexual pleasure in inflicting pain on their partner during sex, on the same vein that a masochist is someone who enjoys being inflicted pain on during sex.

most importantly however, this pleasure tends to be exclusive to the mindset one has during a sexual situation, and does not translate to regular everyday life, so if that person was saying that Lan Wangji is a sadist who obtains pleasure from hurting ANYONE or ANYTHING, at ANY MOMENT, then i absolutely disagree with it

okay, so... why do so many people LOVE that LWJ is a sadist? well, obviously i can't speak for everyone, but for me, i love it because of how well done it was. sadism IS an integral part of Lan Wangji character, and he KNOWS it, and for most of his life? it scared him

imagine it with me for a second: you are a 15 year old teenager, who's lived his whole life following very strict rules with a very strict view of how one should behave. you never once indulged in "common teenager behavior", you never felt the need to. then, out of nowhere, a gremlin boy comes into your life as the very embodiment of those behaviors—drinking, flirting, breaking rules, causing trouble, saying ridiculous things in class, reading... forbidden material,

that boy thinks you're a stick-in-the-mud. that boy wants you to loosen up a little. that boy tricks you into opening one of those forbidden books, and laughs at the face you make about it, then runs away happily. your blood boils, your face is red, you've never felt so hot and so frustrated in your life. you want to teach him a lesson

however, next day comes and that boy and his shidi join you on a nighthunt, and you come to the realization that he's actually... not as terrible as you first thought? he's a troublemaker, sure, but he's also incredibly competent, intelligent and even selfless if the situation calls for it. that... also stirs something in you.

then, that boy comes bearing "an apology gift", two cute, white little rabbits he caught himself, just for you. you know, deep inside, he's just doing this to get a reaction out of you. that's all he ever does. so when he makes an inappropriate joke and you (before you can even stop yourself) push him out the window, hearing him laugh joyfully even after he hit the floor, you feel that stiring again, that hot frustration, and at this point... you start suspecting something. something about what this feeling is

the thing is, for as much as you want to, you don't hate that boy. you hate how he makes you feel, but you don't hate him. in fact, you start suspecting quite the opposite. but you ignore it, and you push it aside, even as you catch yourself thinking about him, and doing the things he told you about—he's always in your mind... and you don't hate it. even when you catch yourself looking for forbidden material yourself, a type that not even that boy showed to you, a type that you can relate to, maybe even fantasize with

so, imagine now, that is how your very young life is going. then, one night... you have a dream, one very different. it starts out as a memory, but early on, it changes. in that dream, that boy teases you just a bit more cruelly, says some things with stranger implications, he pushes, and pushes you, and pushes you, and you break.

in that dream, you hurt him

and not just any kind of hurt. you do something unspeakable. the most immoral of acts a human can do. you hurt him as he cries and begs you to stop. you don't

and the worst part? you enjoy it

you were so certain, up until that point, that you were a good person. that you'd never want to hurt anyone, especially like this. so why does that dream make you feel that way? what does it mean?! that boy angers and frustrates you, sure, but you never ever wanted to hurt him. so you convince yourself that it was how your young, hormonal brain processes this anger, and tries to move on

and you don't think about why, by the end, you were holding each other close. why, by the end, you'd wanted him to enjoy it as well

KDFKSHC OKAY SORRY this ended up longer than i'd planned, but this? this is a VERY very common experience for teenagers who happen to have this type of sexual inclination to have. your mind is so young and you don't know much about sex at all, but your brain and your body betray you, and you feel drawn towards fantasies that by all means should disgust you. and it scares you, it scares you because if i enjoy these thoughs, then what does that make me?? so, much like lan wangji, those feelings get repressed and turned into something shameful for themselves

AND HERE IS WHERE WEI WUXIAN COMES IN!!! because that dream lan wangji had? it gets exposed in full sound and color to the very person it was about. now, up until that point, wangxian had already been exploring their sexuality together, and after their little fucking in the woods where lwj kept trying and trying to hold back as to not hurt him, apologizing and feeling frustrated that he can't (and who could, in his place?) wwx's reaction was to continuously rile him up more and more, because he DOESN'T want lan zhan to hold back!! no restraints, right? he wants all lan zhan has to offer!!! he wants lan zhan in all he can be!! he wants it, he enjoys it, even if it hurts!!

(how lucky, that this repressed little sadist found love in someone who turned out to be a repressed little masochist LMAO)

what is endearing about that incense burner extra is that lan wangji is visibly nervous and embarrassed about this dream, even now, even after him and wwx got married and have had sex many times. this is STILL something that lwj is ashamed about. and wei wuxian's response? to be as open as possible, to reassure him that he finds it SO hot, that he loves it, that he wants him to fuck him like that RIGHT NOW!! that there's nothing to be ashamed about cause guess what? wei wuxian is SO into it too, he's egging on little 15yo lan zhan on his actions against his own younger self!! and lan wangji finally lets it go!!! he accepts this part if himself, because now he knows it doesn't mean anything bad, it doesn't mean he's a horrible person who wants to see wei ying hurt and crying (he has, already, back when everything was falling apart), because he only wants it when he knows that wei ying wants it too. he only wants it if it's a way for wei ying to also enjoy himself

soo yeah, this is what i think that person meant when they said lan wangji was a sadist. he is!! actually, for as much as i love what the incense burner means to them, i personally don't even like reading it because of how violent it can be, and i cannot blame anyone for not being able to read it, but it IS very important to his character, and such a compelling look into his mind!

but you can also imagine how much it would have scared little lan zhan, and how validating it must have been years later, to finally know that hey, it's just a dream, and me? your husband who loves having rough mean sex with you? finds that EXTREMELY hot and it only makes me love you more ❤️💞💕

[desultory-novice]

Have you gone over your interpreted dynamics that Magolor, Susie and Taranza may have with each other? (asking for 1-on-1 each, so three dynamics total)

My apologies if you've gone over them already, I just don't recall.

I have not!

In fact, I don't think I've done many character + character dynamics, so please, everyone interested, I request you send me even more combos! (Must...clean all this angst...off my dashboard...!)

Now then! Onto the dynamics!

-

Magolor + Susie

[Continued Below]

These two are possibly my favorite dynamic-holders of the Wave 3 gang! You've got your classic red oni blue oni except that Magolor is the exuberant one and Susie is the (slightly) more reserved!

Magolor is interested in ancient tech for its ability to make his dreams come true. Susie is interested in turning it INTO something that can be used to make dreams come true. Re-use vs repurpose.

And I think that old tech > new tech disparity would be at the center of their dealings with each other. (Frankly, everyone in the cast is "old tech" compared to Susie but someone has to be at the top XD)

Susie operates on a planetary scale: "How can my (father's) company be used to make things better?" whereas Magolor is very "I will make a thing that people will come to from all over to feel better!"

They're so near to each other's way of thinking but fundamentally different in a few ways that means they don't quite see eye to eye. But I think they can absolutely get involved in long drawn out discussions that involve lots of "Yes! And...!"

Clash indicates to us that Magolor DOES find Susie somewhat pesky. I can't help but wonder if part of that comes from a (potentially incorrect) assumption that Susie must have had EVERYTHING she ever wanted while Magolor had to dig around in the dirt of Halcandra alone for X number of years hoping to find a magic theme park building doohickey amongst the wreckage. (We know Susie's childhood was anything but ideal but HE doesn't.)

I guess DX josses the idea that the two of them met while Magolor was wandering AD, which is a shame as that was a very neat headcanon, but even if they had, I always assumed it would have been a neutral/short-lived partnership. Not enough to dramatically change their feelings toward one another.

...I also think that Susie will be constantly looking for opportunities to opportunities to turn the Lor Starcutter pink (which it wouldn't necessarily mind, but Magolor is vehemently against!) So, yeah, I would say "great collaborators when they're working together but not all the time, and Magolor is usually the one to snap first."

-

Susie + Taranza

I've said I only "ship" one ship in this fandom, and that's true, but I am also guilty of thinking, "Susie/Taranza kinda makes sense, right?"

I mean, he very much seems to be preparing himself to flirt (?) with her in the Star Allies opening sequence. He's looking for a new queen to worship, and would Susie find that so awful, really...?

Not that I want to characterize Taranza as a pitiful loser simp-type for her, so I think it would be nice if they approached each other on more equal terms. In this case, I would think that  their dynamics come from a shared appreciation for beautiful things.

If you were to stick all three in one living space, Susie and Taranza would be the neat freaks, making sure everything is organized (and laid out in an aesthetically pleasing fashion too!) meanwhile Magolor lives on half-finished energy drinks and sleeps on the floor. XD

They are also, obviously, notable for being the two major characters in the modern games to have lost a loved one on-screen in a big Kirby game event. They really should be allowed to use this to bond.

And I'd like to think they have.

So they're kind of low-key get along. Nothing bombastic - they don't set the world on fire with how good they get along, but you're not too surprised when you see them out shopping together either.

-

Taranza + Magolor

I have a LOT of thoughts about the wizards. (In fact, I keep creating backstories for these two, because despite there being a few dedicated fans of this ship, I don't see a whole lot of people dig into Magolor having a shared backstory with Tara and Secty?!)

Despite that, my feelings on them tend to change depending upon how important I find giving them a potential backstory together. Because when on screen they feel very... neutral? They don't have the dynamism of Magolor and Susie's potential clashes, nor the obvious "lonely spider seeks confident beautiful queen" of Taranza and Susie.

Clash!Taranza sits on Magolor's shoppe, chilling out, and that is... really the best way I can describe them? They are very chill.

The concept of them talking deep magic with each other is interesting, but Taranza is a follower type of character. Someone who needs someone to be a catalyst before he will go off.

Magolor could be that for him, but I think Magolor needs to get in over his head first before he will go to Taranza for assistance.

Having said that, I think that what these two have over the other Wave 3 pair dynamics is the highest level of TRUST.

I once read a Japanese doujin about Magolor that was, frankly, even more depressing than MY most depressing works (if you know, you know, but I'm not linking it) but there was a moment when Magolor talks to Taranza about a serious issue and watching the two talk serious to each other (interspersed with some moments of comic melodrama from Taranza) was utterly FASCINATING~

I don't think they become their "true" selves to each other often, but I think that when they do talk about srs business, they are two of the strongest characters in the whole cast to do so...! (Which is probably why I would never "ship" them in the classical sense? I don't see them as going out on dates or sharing the same dessert or coffee shop stuff. When they are at their "closest" they are discussing forbidden history or the skeletons in their prospective closets....)

So, on the surface? They have a very vanilla friendship with nothing to stand out. But these two COULD (if they wanted to) get up to stuff so cursed it would drive even Marx from the room.

[neobora]

i want to change. i cried just rn. i'm just wasting my time w trying to manifest my desires. i don't know how to change this fucking situation because i dwelled on the fact i have the most terrible circumstances and because of that my subsconcious got used to it. I don't know how to get out of my comfort zone and victim mindset. I have been consuming information for years and do nothing but feel sorry for myself and thinking i'm in a hopeless situation. I know this isn't going to get me anywhere, but I don't know how to get out of this mentality. i just want to fucking beat myself up i'm so stupid. i'm tired of my same routine. i woke up. i go to the tumblr. i go to the reddit. i go to the amino and read 83928 things everyday. sometimes i feel like i'm crazy and all of those loa manifwst stuff or not real.

did i overcomplicated loa😭

oh dear😭 give yourself a break, honestly! manifesting isnt supposed to be stressful, but fulfilling. again, the only change that will be reflected is a change in SELF. you can see how well the 3d is doing it’s job at reflecting you rn. but it doesn‘t matter who the outer world says you are, you can ALWAYS change within just by deciding to. do you want to live like this? no. then stop! make it clear to you that you are the ONLY CREATOR and the only one who is being reflected. take responsibility for creating what you see outside of you, which also means that you can change SELF anytime you want to. imagination is the only reality and the only time that exists is NOW, self doesnt care about your past, it only cares about NOW. who are you right now? that will reflect.

i know it can be tough completely changing self, often youre even scared of letting go and assuming nothing can hurt you. at one point i even realized i was scared of actually seeing a change in the 3d. but that fear is created by you and no one can stop giving it so much credit except you.

stop consuming so much info, it‘s all the same anyways. choose desire, assume you have it, persist, done. the only thing that helped me really was actually FEELING LIKE I AM IN CONTROL OVER MY MIND. you can read anything you want, as many times as you want but you won‘t get it if you don‘t feel it true. edward art’s reddit series honestly helped me so much, but i actually feel different about the lines now than when i started reading it because i started giving MYSELF, my INNER SELF all the power. but tbh nothing on tumblr really explains it in as much detail as this series, it really gets the point across. if you want to read something about the loa, then go for this instead of posts that just repeat themselves. especially the posts about fear are eye-opening.

honestly in my opinion it doesn‘t matter what your subconscious does nor should you worry about it, it accepts literally ANYTHING to be true if you have faith. there is no past and no future, it doesnt matter. the only thing there is to do is change self and stick with it, no matter what happens. you are the only one who can save yourself.

again, no one can tell you how to feel, or feel for you, you have to give yourself the freedom of feeling but yourself. you are always able to change, it just depends on wether you decide to or not. decide to change and stick with it, no matter what. once you actually internalise that you create everything so you do not have to feel (identify with) your fears and doubts, but can instead feel (know) that you ALREADY ARE WHAT YOU WANT TO BE IN IMAGINATION, it gets easier and easier. but you must have the courage not to look back and fall into old states. why? because you don’t want to! fall in love with your new state and leaving gets harder and harder. but when you do, remind yourself that the 3d is literally just your mind. you don’t have to identify with anything you don‘t like. from there you can create what you WANT.

[divinesolas]

Ghostface!Aegon x Gn!Reader - Drabble

inspired by a Scream six spoiler I saw on tiktok so slight spoilers below i guess?

warnings: not proofread! killer chasing after you, slight nsfw? i guess it can be interpreted that way also I've never seen a scream film / know nothing about them so this is from purely my imagination.

a/n: This just came into my mind after seeing the killer say "I've always wanted to stick something in you tara." and this is what came out

Your feet hit the ground hard as you continue to run through the familiar halls of the abandoned mall. You and aegon would always explore this place together, you have so many happy memories here but right now? is not one of them. Ghostface is chasing you or atleast you think he is, he was there you saw him but when you turn around you see nobody there.

"y/n..." a taunting voice calls for you. Frozen in fear you turn frantically all around looking for the source. Noticing nothing you grow angrier. "Oh come on if you want me come get me!"

"Oh i want you sweetheart." the voice is much closer, he's on the other end of the hall. Standing there, he waves at you.

You run, you must know this mall better than he does you're here all the time. You know he's chasing you so you run up the stairs. "Oh y/n..." he says once you reach the top you turn to look at him. He's standing at the bottom of stairs, "What do you want from me?"

He laughs, "you." He rips off his mask. Its him. No it cant be him, maybe you're just seeing things, maybe he has a twin he never told you about maybe he.... No, it cant be Aegon, the guy from your science class who always asks you for the notes because he's never paying attention, the sweet guy who drove you home after you were stood up and comforted you. The guy crush on, the guy you grew to love after years of hanging out together, knowing everything about each other. There's no way its him.

"What the fuck..." At the look on your face he begins to laugh. "You're... You're sick!!!!" he begins to laugh harder. "Cmon baby you don't mean that, its me." This can't be happening.

you can feel the tears welling up in your eyes as you look at his smiling face. He's the killer, you feel betrayed you cried and cried to him after finding out your best friend was murdered in a recent ghost face attack. It was him, he comforted you knowing he had done it, imhe was sick. "What... what do you want from me..."

His grin grows, "You."

you shake your head at him in disbelief, the tears rushing down your face, "You're sick!" He begins slowing moving up the stairs. you take a few steps back, "get away from me you sicko!" he laughs

"I've always wanted to stick something in you y/n!" he yells as you turn to run, his laughter chases after you before he starts to, You run but you know he'll catch you eventually and you dread what he'll do once he catches you.

[arcticpuppeteer]

Dublin night 3 report/The Car tour summary:

- late to the party but I think I'm still processing what happened and my mind refuses to accept the fact that it was the last show of this era (draggin' out a long goodbye)

- I couldn't think of a better closing show - especially with Perfect Sense (even though I'm not a big fan of this song I really appreciated that nod from the band, it was touching)

- I got a feeling that the band were a bit exhausted after all those over 100 gigs (who wouldn't be?), nevertheless they served us with a high quality show as always

- having Miles on stage for 505 😭 and having him as the support act - class! (I must admit that I forgot how energetic and super hyped he gets when being on stage)

- one year ago I probably didn't even think that I'd able to attend so many gigs, and the closing one in particular

- this tour and The Car era was truly special and exceptional for me - comparing to TBHC era when I didn't have an opportunity to go abroad and visit all those cool venues they played at

- this recent time (over a year) was a dream which I was chasing for a several years to come true and it finally happened! I can't be more grateful, and it feels a bit like I don't deserve so much positivity, so many good things and beautiful memories. It was a really good year for me (a sentence which was absent in my personal dictionary for such a long time)

- thanks to Monkeys I visited 7 countries and I convinced myself that I've grown up enough to go on a self-organised trip and make it through (with only 1 bad accident but nothing very serious)

- this tour I saw the band 10 times (counting from August '22 gigs) and each show was different - even though the core setlist was the same I got some shuffles, and some of them were mind-blowing (I think A Certain Romance in Sheffield tops everything 😍)

- I made friends and met fellow fans (mainly from AMus forum, including some legends, haha) which was crucial to make all those concerts so special to me - huge thanks to @american-sports for spending some nice time before and after the concert in Dublin, it's always great to hear others' stories related to the band

- and last but not least: it was such a fun (or to stick to the tour theme: such a cool drive!) to follow the tour and the band here with the community, cheers to anyone who will be reading my ramblings 😁 But we're not going anywhere, right? The boys will for sure drop something in the meantime (pointing at you, Ben).

PS Bye Mirrorball, you've done beautifully 😢

[n7punk]

As Many Lives As It Takes (To Be With You) - Interlude: Three Years Ago

This is an interlude/short companion fic for As Many Lives As It Takes (To Be With You), my Nine Lives AU. It's set three years before the main fic.

Main fic on AO3. Pairing: Catradora. Chapters: 3/? (probably 8-ish total). Word count: currently 17k. Rating: T.

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Interlude Summary: At nineteen, Catra finally accepts help, even if opening up to Scorpia feels like it might kill her. At least it wouldn't stick. Word count: 3.7k. Intended Order: After Chapter 3 (after Chapter 2 is fine too). Notes: This is "skippable" considering it wasn’t in the original outline, but I wrote it on a whim and liked it, so have it over here. The real chapter four will be back in present day and up in a day or two. (Reblogs are off because I don't want this further removed from the context of the original fic, where it won't make sense).

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Interlude: Three Years Ago

It’s warm by the stove, far warmer than Catra has been since the summer gave way to fall and then winter. Sometimes she curses Bright Moon for having a full season’s cycle. Other times she knows that it’s better than the constant heat or cold some other places have to deal with. The rain from being off the coast is a lot to contend with, though.

Catra stays on the opposite side of town from Bright Moon Bay if she can help it — the last thing she needs is to drown, again — but the tropical storm that blew in took the rain to her. Absently, she reaches up and scrunches her hand into her short hair. For being a pixie cut, it holds a lot of moisture, and water runs down her fingers. It’s worse than her clothes sometimes, especially right now when she has at least changed out of her top. She feels uncomfortable in the loose uniform shirt she is wearing over the pants she wrung out in the bathroom and then put back on, but it’s nice to have something dry on.

Catra huddles closer to the stove, hoping its warmth can work into her bones before the scorpioni slowly moving around the kitchen decides she’s done and heads home. Catra isn’t eager to go back out into the rain, but any time away from the downpour is worth it. It has to be for her to come inside like this. It always makes her feel cagey. She has stayed in shelters before, but they scare her, maybe even more than this small kitchen filled with the smell of baking does. Shelters felt like a place where people would look for her. No one would ever picture Catra of all people here, bedraggled on the floor of a small kitchen filled with cutesy pink things.

“Scorpia! Anyone come in yet?” Rose says, brightly, looking up from whatever she is brewing on one of the freestanding stovetops. Catra flinches as the younger of the women becomes visible, shuffling through the open doorway to the shop. No, they haven’t. Catra’s hearing is on overdrive trying to find the threats that surely must be lurking under the stacks of teacups. No one who had anywhere to go would be stupid enough to be out in this weather. Scorpia shakes her head, throwing her mom a smile.

“I put a notecard on the counter to yell to the back in case someone does come and we don’t hear them, but I doubt anyone is out.” Well, that’s the first smart thing Scorpia has said. “We should probably head out if there’s a lull. Otherwise I think we might end up stormed in. Mom’ll be so worried.” Make that two things, even if this one makes her ears pin back. Heading out means sending Catra out.

It will be miserable, but at least she’ll be out in the open again. Safe. She guesses. Nowhere feels safe with this storm all around them.

Rose sighs.

“We can once I finish prepping things for tomorrow. I don’t think it’s going to let up. If it looks like it’s about to get worse, then we should head home, but for now let’s just wait it out,” she agrees. Scorpia nods, her whole body bouncing with the motion.

Adora used to do that, Catra’s mind reminds her. Traitor.

As if she can hear her, Scorpia turns her attention on Catra. Catra shrinks back despite how she hates showing fear. She just wants to ball up here and sleep forever. Lay down a blanket and it would be perfect. No one would be stupid enough to let some random homeless person sleep in their family shop — she can’t believe Scorpia even came out to the alley when the storm started and invited her in, much less that she accepted — but it’s a nice fantasy.

She’s only entertaining it because she hates being wet. It reminds her of-

Fuck, does she have no options that don’t tug at one of her traumas? Outside is open and “safe” — except for how it’s definitely fucking not, even on an average day — being indoors is being trapped, being in the rain is drowning again, and she’s left with nothing. At least the stove is warm. Scorpia doesn’t take her tail tightly wrapping around her ankles for the hint that it is and shuffles closer. She stays out of striking distance even with her stinger, but Catra feels a growl rising in her throat and quickly looks away.

She’s only proving that they should tell her to go, but instead Scorpia just sits down on the floor with her for some reason.

“Quite the storm, huh? Like being inside a washing machine. Just woooosh,” Scorpia seems to mime clothes spinning around in a washing cycle by circling her pincers in front of her. Something in Catra feels warm. The stove is working, then. She grunts an acknowledgment. Speaking words is risky. She has learned to spit teeth at any who approach her, but she has to hold her tongue when someone is there to help. It stings her pride, but she wouldn’t have made it this long if she hadn’t learned to take some kindness. Scorpia gave her more of it than she deserved already when she let her in. The least she can do is not snap at her.

And listen to her ramble, apparently, because she goes, “Oh, this one time…” and then she’s off telling the story of how they got stuck in an awful storm like this while driving between towns and thought their car was going to get swept away. Catra grunts occasionally and shuffles to readjust her position so the other side of her can get more warmth before something she can’t feel starts getting burned. Scorpia’s story peters out around the time Catra is readjusting her arm, maneuvering it with her left hand and tucking it into her lap a couple of different ways before she finds something that she thinks works.

She can feel Scorpia staring. She can even see it out of her periphery. It doesn’t feel predatory or anything, like she’s cataloguing her weakness, but Catra still pulls her lip back to show her fangs. She doesn’t know why she bothers when Scorpia’s stinger could take her out before she even got close enough to land a hit, but Scorpia raises her pincers in surrender.

“Sorry, I’m not trying to be rude! It’s not my business. I was just wondering if there was anything I could do? I don’t know if a sling would help or…” She trails off, already looking around the kitchen as if she will magically see a medical station appear. Catra finally speaks just because she thinks Scorpia is five seconds away from standing and rushing around to find something. Tracking her all over the restaurant again is going to start wearing on her nerves.

“It’s paralyzed. Nothing is going to make it better,” Catra grits back. She can tell Rose is listening, even if she isn’t looking at her. Rose seems just as nice as her daughter, but they could both be deceiving her. Catra is almost sold on Scorpia. Rose… Well, Rose doesn’t directly remind her of anyone she already trusts, so she’s on thin ice. That might as well be the Catra equivalent of a golden pedestal, though.

“A sling could keep it from getting in the way!” Scorpia pipes up, like Catra hasn’t thought of that. She has tried, once or twice, with an improvised scarf or something. It actually just puts her arm in the way and makes her feel more helplessness. It certainly makes her look it.

“It’s fine. It doesn’t hurt, anyway,” she mutters back. Except when people touch it, she doesn’t add. That doesn’t happen a lot unless someone happens to bump into her, so it might as well not be weakness. She shifts to tuck in her arm a little more, like hiding it from view will change the subject. Scorpia just keeps looking at her.

“If you want to talk about it-” Catra growls, “-not that I’m asking! We’re going to be here a while is all, and… I get the feeling you’ve never talked about it. Talking about things usually makes me feel better. Sometimes my roommate will just sit and listen to me while I unload and it helps a lot even without her talking back or even looking at me,” Scorpia hurries to placate her before losing the plot. Catra grumbles, tucking her face down into her arms. Yeah, she doesn’t think talking is going to be anything like that for her.

She doesn’t usually even acknowledge it’s paralyzed. She has had to say it a few times, but the closest she has ever come to addressing anything that happened was when she ran into her old classmate, and even thinking about that makes her throat tight. The way he looked at her- How is she ever supposed to tell someone what happened when she’s just opening herself up to that? Scorpia isn’t looking at her with sick fascination, though. Her eyes are just big and soft, like A-

“I fell,” Catra replies, cutting that thought off before it can finish. Watching Scorpia light up when she realizes that she’s telling her and then her expression fall as she remembers what they’re talking about is kind of funny. Scorpia always seems so open and warm. The light in her heart felt near blinding the first few weeks that Catra ran into her. Okay, maybe she just reminded her of someone and it felt like someone pulling her ribs out of her chest when she looked at her.

“That’s, uh, quite the fall. I’m really sorry about that, Wildcat,” Scorpia says. Catra feels something that might be a trill rise in her chest and swallows it down, tucking in a little tighter. She didn’t realize she was starting to uncurl. It’s just a stupid nickname, she doesn’t know why it makes her feel anything. It isn’t even a nickname, just what Scorpia started calling her when Catra wouldn’t give her a name at first. She knows it now, and her moms use it, but Scorpia still calls her Wildcat. No matter what, Scorpia keeps trying.

She doesn’t know why. Catra knows their family helps out other people who come around here – that’s how she found out about them in the first place – and yet Scorpia latched onto her for some reason and seems determined to fix her. Maybe she’s the most broken person that comes around. Maybe Scorpia isn’t used to people not immediately loving her. Maybe Catra is just her age. For some reason, she keeps trying to get Catra to open up to her.

I get the feeling you’ve never talked about it before. Is that all it takes? To look at her, see she’s alone, and want to fix that? Why? She has been alone for years. No one has ever really tried to help before. Give her a few dollars here, let her sneak into the bathrooms there, but in general, she has been by herself. Not that she has ever asked for help, but why would she do that? They wouldn’t give it to her.

Most people wouldn’t, anyway. Most people wouldn’t get hissed and snarled at and still come running to the back door to hand out food and try to make small talk while claws were flashed at them. Not that Catra ever raised her hand in a real threat at Scorpia, but she has certainly prepped her claws when Scorpia looked like she might get closer or got too chummy. Catra doesn’t know why she’s still trying, still being nice when Catra has never shown that kind of grace back. Adora’s mom used to talk about putting back out into the world what you wanted to be given. Catra has only ever given back what she got.

And right now, she isn’t even doing that. She wraps her tail tightly around herself and runs her fingers down her arm. Her fur is completely dry there. She probably showed it to the oven too long.

“I can’t feel it except when other people touch it. And then it just hurts,” Catra murmurs. She doesn’t know why. She just told Scorpia how to hurt her with explicit instructions, but all Scorpia does is nod with a sympathetic look on her face.

“Is that… normal for paralysis? Is that what phantom pain is?” Scorpia asks. Catra actually laughs, a dark chuckle that feels foreign in her chest. Yeah, big Adora energ-

She clears her throat.

“No, I’m pretty sure that’s just a me thing,” she replies. Scorpia looks concerned and it makes Catra’s chest hurt, but for once, it kind of feels good? She’s used to hollowness, or angry buzzing, or bitter regret, but this feels more like stepping outside for the first time on a cold night, a shock to her system and tightness in her lungs. Eventually the numbness sets in, but in this moment? It feels good.

There’s a warm oven right next to her. Frostbite doesn’t have to creep into her fingers.

“That doesn’t sound good. When was the last time you saw a doctor? I know it’s probably hard to, but there has to be a free clinic or something, right?” Scorpia asks. Catra snorts, her hand still on her arm. She squeezes. She doesn’t really know why. It’s lax beneath her fingers, no muscles flexing to harden it.

“Never,” she replies. Rose stops pretending to be busy, freezing as Scorpia’s jaw drops. Suddenly self-conscious, Catra hunches her shoulders. “I was- I was homeless right after- Actually because of-” She cuts off. She doesn’t owe them an explanation. So why does she feel like she should have one? Why are tears burning at the back of her eyes?

She doesn’t want a doctor. She knows this. Any time she gets near a medical professional, it’s dangerous and panics her. How much could they suspect this long after the fall, though, when everything would be healed over? When she can just tell them whatever she wants about what happened? They wouldn’t be able to help, she always tells herself, and she’s right, but the fantasy of someone being able to is so alluring. A fantasy of being cared for, and things getting better, and more warm ovens while she’s at it.

“I- You need to. I know you probably can’t afford it, but it can’t be that expensive, right? Just for an appointment?” Scorpia asks, twisting around to look at her mom as she asks. Her mom turns around and looks just as stressed. Catra’s throat tightens. No. No, she can’t even let them suggest spending their money on something that would never help.

“No. Once it’s paralyzed there’s nothing you can really do. Any money I’ve ever had has been better served going towards food, or new clothes, or a room for the night. Things that keep me alive,” Catra replies, shaking her head. Food, clothes, things they’ve already done for her. They don’t need to do more.

She isn’t expecting Rose to turn to her, looking like she is about to cry.

“You’re so young. How did this happen to you?” she asks, her tone distraught enough for Catra to know it isn’t a real question, just internal horror making itself known, but still her mouth opens and closes a few times.

There are tears in her eyes. That realization is the last wall crumbling down as she buries her face in her knees and allows herself to cry for the first time in a long, long time.

--

Catra hasn’t really been in a car in the last three years. Scorpia doesn’t question it when she curls up in the backseat, dripping again from the rain that came down on them as they made the run from the shop to the car. Catra is still wearing the employee t-shirt, her bag that never leaves her side on the floor of the car beside her. Rose said her clothes were still soaked and Scorpia could just wash the shirt and bring it back when it was time.

Catra isn’t sure when is going to be the time. She isn’t sure where they’re going really, or how long she’s supposed to stay there, or how long she’s going to stay there, but she’s so exhausted that she just couldn’t fight it or find a reason to say no when Scorpia offered for her to stay with her while she got herself sorted out. She thinks the offer is a few days, with the condition that she actually do something about improving her life.

She isn’t sure where to start. She isn’t sure she’s ready to start. But she is sure she’s tired of this. If she walks away from this opportunity, she isn’t likely to ever get another one, or at least not one as kind as this. She doesn’t know there could be someone kinder after she cried on their floor for two hours and unloaded horrific shit on them as she went through what she could – first the fall, and then the homelessness, and then further back with the “near” drowning, and by then they got the picture but they still flinched when she mentioned the window, and Rose was crying as hard as she was when she talked about Weaver.

She doesn’t know why they let her do that. She depressed them, she knows, but instead of telling her it was time to go, they started workshopping solutions together, looking at her for input and approval while she just sat there, stunned.

Her toe claws flex against the floor of the car and she watches them almost snag on the car mats. She doesn’t trust this, but she has lived every day of the last three years in fear anyway. Might as well be indoors while she stews in her discomfort, right? As long as they’re willing to offer it. If this can last just long enough for her to get in a program or something like they suggested, maybe she can get somewhere that she trusts is safe. She’s scared to exist again, but she keeps telling herself it has been three years. She has the paralysis to show as “proof” of injury from the accident. She can sell this lie. She had it half-formed in her mind already, from times when she has had to brush up against the story before, but she put together something coherent on the floor of that shop, she thinks.

They offered her a home, so apparently it was good enough. She just has to hope that whatever government employee gets saddled with her case thinks so too.

She tenses when they finally park. Scorpia’s apartment block is pretty big, but nondescript. She can’t really tell what it’s going to be like from the lobby or hallway, but when Scorpia opens the door for her, the apartment is in good shape. Nothing fancy or expensive except maybe the TV, but nothing is broken or stained at first glance, and they have enough furniture to fill out the space. The couch looks like it will probably be the most comfortable place she has slept since last winter, so she doesn’t really care what Scorpia’s roommate is like as long as she doesn’t try to make her leave.

“Entrapta! We’re home! I brought a friend,” Scorpia calls, her booming voice forcing Catra to pin her ears back. Friend is a bit of a stretch, but it seems to interest Entrapta enough for her to emerge from down the hall after a few moments. She cocks her head as Scorpia busies herself with closing the door and putting away her shoes. Catra considers waving and ends up grimacing instead as she drops her bag from her shoulder and cautiously bends to set it beside where Scorpia put her shoes. The thing is filthy.

Catra straightens up and leaps in the air when she turns around and finds the girl with pigtails right behind her. She hisses, her tail shot straight out and her fur fluffing up, but Entrapta doesn’t even look at Catra’s claws snapping out and her left hand stiffening into an attack position, she just bends way too close to inspect Catra’s arm, which obviously swung as she moved.

“Fascinating! How long has it been like that? Can you feel it?” Entrapta asks, pulling a fucking wrench out of her pocket. Scorpia steps up beside Catra on her left, waving her pincers a little frantically.

“Entrapta, you can’t ask that! It’s rude!” Scorpia tries to stop her. Entrapta looks up, blinking at her. Scorpia throws Catra an apologetic look. “Sorry, she really doesn’t mean anything by it, she just doesn’t interact with a lot of people-”

Then Entrapta touches Catra’s arm. She screams into her teeth, buckling until one of Scorpia’s pincers catches her on her left side and she manages to stumble onto her feet again. Entrapta watches her with fascination.

It isn’t a great first meeting.

[blackhakumen]

Mini Fanfic #1173: A Long Awaited Explanation (SSBU X Fire Emblem)

12:56 p.m. at the Smash Mansion's Outdoor Patio.........

Robin: (Sitting Next to Lucina and his Son on a Wopden Bench Together) So you Severa, and Ingio have been playing the roles of retainers to Nohrian side of Kamui's family with your identities getting altered in the process.

Lucina: And this all started because a man in a cloak asked you for help?

Owain: (Simply Nodded) Precisely. We spotted him following us on that night, bending into the shadows unnoticed. Once we finally met face to face, he told us his "situation" and plead for our help. We were hesitant at first, or- rather.....Severa and Ingio were the ones the most hesitant about it if anything. (Smiles Sheepishly While Rubbing the Back of his Head Back and Forth) I....might or might not have let my nativity get the better of me at the moment and convinced them to help him out.

Robin: ('Sigh') Of course you did.

Lucina: (Gives Owain a Deadpinned Look on her Face) We really need to teach you to stop taking requests from random strangers one of these days.

Owain: (Comically Glares at the Duo) Do you two take me as a child or something!?

Robin: (Simply Shrugs) Well, you are my troublemaking son after all.

Lucina: I'm still older than you, so yes.

Owain: BY A FEW MONTHS MAYBE!!.

Lucina: (Crosses her Arms Reminising on the Past) Honestly, I couldn't even begin to tell you how many times I got you out of trouble over the years......

Owain: AREN'T YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME RIGHT NOW!!?

Robin: (Gives His Son a Fatherly Glare) Owain, don't yell at your older cousin. It's rude.

Lucina: (Playfully Sticks jer Tongue Out at Owain)

Owain: OH FORGET I ASKED!! ('Sighs Heavily') Anyways!.....After we accepted the request, the cloaked man telephoned us to Valla, altered our identities and off to Nohrian Empire we went. The experience itself wasn't too shabby. Newer bonds have been formed, done a few erra-I mean quests here and there, faced various types of monsters and evil forces, sat back in the sidelines as we watch two the nations set aside their differences and reluctantly work together as Kaumi lead us to victory. It was a decent time all around, except for all the near death experiences that transpired during our journey. But after we slayed King Garon, who turned out to be an evil tyrant surprise-surprise, we then found out that the man in cloaked just so happens to be an even more diabolical entity who wants to kill Kamui for....personal reasons I believe? I don't quite remember. I'm just more relieved to never fave him again.....

Lucina: Was he difficult was defeat?

Owain: ('Heh') Difficult? He was a god-forsaken NIGHTMARE to put down if anything! But I digress. Because after that was dealt with, Nohr and Hosido has finally formed strong, unbreakable alliance on that day and peace has been bestowed on both lands ever since. After the war has concluded, our trioic adventures has come to a close as both Severa and Ingio decided to remain in Nohr while embarked on more solo journey.

Lucina: (Eyes Widened a Bit in Genuine Surprise) They have?

Robin: What were their reasons for wanting to stay if they don't mind asking.

Owain: Well, remember when I say that newer bonds has been formed during our time at Nohr? Well, the bonds those two made has formed to formidable sisterhood on one end and a cherishable romance on the other. Severa became the co-founder and leader of a band of highly skilled Wyvern Riders known as the Wyvern Regade, and Ingio- (Chuckles Lightly) I swear, if anyone were to tell me that Prince of all Twinkle Toes abd Skirt Chasing has retired his flirty ways and finally settled down into a committed relationship, I would call that biggest blasphemy of the century!

Robin: (Chuckles Lightly) Is that right? Who's the lucky gal or guy?

Owain: Make that the lucky gal AND guy, because no only he is dating his fellow retainer but he's also dating the elder prince of all of Nohr as well! Who I must add has now taken the title of becoming king.

Robin: (Smiles Brightly) Nice! I hope they're doing well nowadays.

Owain: I do as well. They seemed really happy with one another the last I saw them together. And Severa too. It makes me so happy to know that she's getting the recognition she remarkably deserves.

Lucina: So they've moved on already.

Owain turns to his cousin who looked saddened at the thought of one of her closest companions and her younger brother in another kingdom, living their own lives. This, in turn, causes him to frown as well.

Owain: (Takes a Deep Breath Before Speaking) I'm sorry, cousin. The choice to stay weren't easy ones for either of them to make on that day. But I can guarantee you 100% that those two missed and thought about you every single day.

Lucina: I know. I missed them too. Everyday of my life.....('Sigh') But above all else.....(Gives Owain a Small, Yet Sincere Smile on her Face) I'm just blessed to know that they're still alive and happy.

Owain: You are? Truly?

Lucina: (Happily Nodded) Yes, truly. We've all been through hell and back to save to our families' timeline from complete chaos. So I believe it's only right to let them the lives they've set for themselves going forward. Besides, I plan on visiting them one of these days in the near future once I know how to use the Dimensional Rings properly.

Owain: (Eyes Begins to Widened a Bit) The Dimensional Rings? (Turns to Lucina) Question: Is it a golden ring? The kinda of ring that is giant sized?

Lucina: Whenever its used, yes.

Robin: Why?

Owain: Because I believe that might be the same ring that brought me into this place to begin with.

Lucina: Seriously?

Robin: Did you see anyone around using it by any chance?

Owain: I can't say that i have I'm afraid.....The ring itself just appeared out of nowhere when I first saw it in the desert. (Crosses his Arms) The thought it's existence has hardly ever crossed my mind up until now. Not even when I took long nap on the sidewalks.

Lucina: (Eyes Widened in Complete Shock) You WHAT!?

Robin: (Webt Back to Glaring at his Son) Owain, those sidewalks get colder in time of year! You could've gotten your sick!

Lucina: How long did you slept there!?

Owain: (Starts Rubbing The Back of his Head Again) Well.... Considering how long i was transported to the beach and how far I've walked towards the town, I'd say it was.....approximately aboooout..... Few....hours or so? (Forms an Awkward Grin on his Face)

Lucina: A FEW HOURS- (Holds Up her Hand While Pinching her Nose and Letting Out a Heavy Sigh) Owain Everfield Yliston.

Owain: I.....don't think that's my middle name-

Lucina: HUSH! (Angrily Points at her Dear Cousin) If I find out that you've been in roaming around this town in this cold temperature, on an empty stomach SO HELP ME-

Owain: Cousin, cousin, please! Calm yourself. Despite the turn of events that aspired as of late, I can assure you and father that I am perfectly well and long past fed.

????: He's not wrong, you know?

The trio turns to see Dark Pit and his two girlfriends, Misako and Kyoko, standing in front of the patio's doorway.

Dark Pit: We treated him to lunch after we woke him up from his sidewalk nap.

Misako: He even convinced us to take on the Big Bang Burger Challenge for the fourth time. Failed again by the way.

Kyoko: (Happily Holds Up her Shopping Bags Close to her Face) Not to mention all the shopping we did thanks to the money he provided!~ ('Squeals Happily') I'm so loving this New Year so far!~

Misako: (Casually Shrugs) Eh. It's whatever. (Forks a Small Smirk on her Face) Still had a good time today though.

Dark Pit: Same here. You weren't bad company today, Odin. (Forms a Teasing Smirk on his Face) Or should I call you...."Owain Everlast Yliston".

Owain: (Eyes Widened in Disbelief).......H-How-

Misako: We heard everything from inside.

Kyoko: Love your real name by the way~

Misako: Suits you a whole lot better than your fake one.

Owain: (Let's Out a Loud Gasps Before Glaring at the Trioic Couple) Excuse YOU!? I'll have you know that the "fake" name is based around one of most powerful gods in all of mythology! And it is far more superior than my bland, boring actually name.

Lucina: Owain, your mother gave you that name when you were born.

Owain: W-Well, yeah, but-

Robin: ('Sigh') She would always tell me how much she adores that name of yours. As do I......

Owain: (Rolls his Eyes) Father, I know that, but-

Lucina: Honestly. I cannot imagine the look on my poor Auntie's face when she finds out that you find your name dull or boring.

Owain: (Angrily Points at his Cousin) You will do no such thing!-

Dark Pit: Hey, make sure you send us a video whenever you do tell her. Kinda wanna see how this soap opera plays out-

Owain: ('Groans in Pure Annoyance and Defeat') ENOUGH ALREADY! Mother doesn't need to know about all this! (Points at the Dark Angel) And I certainly don't need to be taunted by the likes of you!

Dark Pit: Yeah, well, now that you're gonna be living here for now on, you could bet your dramatic ass thar I'll mess with you every chance I get.

?????: PITTO! NO. CUSSING!

Dark Pit: Oh. Right. (Walks Over to the Door) A few people want to talk to you by the way.

Pitto opens the door wide, revealing Peach amd the rest of the ladies (and Lea) as they all fall down on the ground together.

'Thud'

Peach: ('Sigh') Oh geez....(Turns to the Others Behind) Is everyone okay back there?

The Others: Yeah..../Mmth/We're good/

Lea: My hair isn't!

Aqua: We'll fix your hair later, Lea.

Peach: (Gets Herself Up From the Ground Before Clearing her Throat and Forming a Very Welcoming Smile on her Face) Salutations, my dear~ My name is Princess Peach and-

Owain: (Eyes Widened Once More) Princess? (Quickly Bows himself Down to Peach and the Others) P-Please excuse and forgive me for my intrusion here, your majesty! I had no idea you lived here, honest!

Peach: (Smiles Sheepishly) Come now, dear. There's no need for you to bow and apologize. It's okay.

Owain: (Slowly But Surely Stands Back Up) Are you certain? Like absolutely so?

Peach: (Giggles Softly) Yes, absolutely~

Palutena: (Smiles Brightly) Yeah, you don't need to worry about Momma Peach. She won't bite.

Samus: Unless you provoke her that is.

Peach: (Turns Back to the Bounty Hunter) Sammy!

Samus: What? I'm not entirely wrong, am I?

Bayonetta: You can be a scary princess sometimes, my dear.

Peach: (Sighs While Rolling her Eyes) I know that! I just don't wanna scare him off! Just let me do all the talking, okay?

Samus: (Shrugs) Whatever you say, boss.

Peach: (Turns Back to Owain) Now, Owain, Odin or umm-

Owain: Just Owain is fine, ma'am. (Rolling his Eyes Again) It is my birth name after all.

Peach: It's a wonderful birth name, dear.

Kyoko: Told you!~

Peach: Anyways, Pitto has told us some much about you minutes ago and nothing would make our day bright more than to have you stay and be a part of this family.

Owain: (Eyes Slowly Begins to Widened Yet Again in Genuine Surprise) You.....all considered me a part of this family of yours?

Daisy: (Smiles Brightly) Heck yeah!~ You seem like pretty nice kid all around. You'd fit right in.

Rosalina: (Smiles Softly) Plus, being here would give you an honest chance to reconnect with your father and cousin going forward.

Robin: (Places his Habd onto his Son's Shoulder, Giving him a Smile of his Own) And I am more than willing to make up for loss times, my son.

Lucina: (Gives Owain a Very Loving Hug) As will I. Owain, I know we've gotten the wrong foot earlier, but words are not enough to express how much you mean to to us or even how......ecstatic and blessed I truly am to finally see you again after all this time. So please......Would you stay here and be a part of our ever growing family?

Owain: (Stares Deep into Lucina's Eyes For a Brief Second Before Tears Starts Falling Down From his Eyes) Yes.....('Sniff') Yes, of course! (Happily Pulls Lucina and Robin into a Group Hug) I would be more than honored to be a part of this wonderful family!~ I love you two so much.

Lucina: (Tears Starts Falling Down From her as Well) ('Sniff') We love you too, cousin.

Robin: (Happily Hugs Her Son and Niece Back) Welcome to the Smash Family.

Moms: AWWWWWWWWWWW!~

Lea: (Starts Tearing Up as Well) Great. ('Sniff') The water works is about to get in.......

Samus: (Tearing Up Along with the Rest of the Ladies) You and me both, man. ('Sniff') This is so beautiful.....

Peach: There's only one way to distinguish these watery emotions, ladies!~

Moms: GROUP HUGS!~ (Gather Around and Joins on the Hugfesr)

Dark Pit: Yeah, you all have fun with that. (Starts Making his Way to the Door) If anyone needs me, I'll be in lounging around in the-

Misako: Get your ass over here! (Yanks Pitto Over to the Group by the Collar)

Kyoko: Now, mister!~

With the trio included, the heartwarming hug fest is now in completion. Life wasn't easy for the dramtic young man in blonde: from witnessing his love ones perish, risking his own life against all odds and fight for a better outcome, to parting ways from his older companions after the war was set and done.

It was a very long road ahead for him to endure alone indeed. But even with all that in mind, Owain Everlast Yliston believes that this town is one place....he can finally call his new home.

@cyber-wildcat

@ma-lemons

@albion-93

@bestpony666

@theweebmaster31

[unmellowyellowfellow]

rewrite comparison!

as promised, here is a little comparison between the way I used to tell the story, to how I am switching gears. This is part of the introduction! Chalk Mountain is my baby, and I hope you enjoy! <3

snippet under the cut!

CM: DRAFT 1 -- INTRODUCTION // OLD DOC

    The Stephensville marketplace parking lot held a very odd feeling in the morning. The weeds that grew in the parking lot sway in the hot wind and the Texas sunset rose over the security cameras on the roof, mockingbirds tweeted in the old dead trees that decorated the lot.     Dixie's old charming olive-green car was the only one in the parking lot. Sat in the driver’s seat, she had the A/C on blast, and old George Strait music muffled by the air conditioning. She licked her fingers and flicked through the Atlas. To be honest, she couldn’t read maps worth a damn, but she had gotten this far with only some error, so she figured she must have done something right. Dixie could recall reading about Chalk Mountain around 9 years ago on this day. Someone claimed a meteorite crashed, but a bunch of officials declared it a hoax or something. Her father would mock the man in the papers. “How can’t you tell the difference between a rock and a space meteor!” He would scoff. She shook the memory off her shoulders and dragged her dirty fingernail down Highway 67 until she found Chalk Mountain, circled in red crayon. It didn’t look to be too far from where she was, which was a relief. She wasn’t sure how much longer her car could take the Texas heat. Dixie began the 20-mile drive to her next stop. Although many articles say it’s a ghost town, long abandoned, she’d hoped they were just being dramatic and that she could find a place to live in this old desert town. Even if she was the only one there besides a coyote, she wouldn’t mind that too much at all.

*+~*+~*+~*+~*+~*+~*+~*+~*+~*+~*+~*+~*+~*+~*+*~+*~+~*~+

CM: NEW DRAFT -- INTRODUCTION // NEW DOC

The red sand of the west Texas desert gets into every nook and cranny of life around these parts. The texture is rough, yet soft; and leaves a stain on your Sunday best that sticks to ya like a honeybee to a marigold. It sneaks underneath your fingernails and hides in the corners, just out of reach. I suppose that may not be a problem for some folks. Some like the orange tint to their white button shirts, or the wind blowing in an excuse to call into work on a Wednesday to go get evening coffee and pie with your aunt down the street, or the way it sounds against the windows may resemble the gentle patter of rain against the sill.  Dixie quite liked the color of the sand, although she called it the red dirt. Her fluffy hair greatly resembled the red dirt below her porch steps that she left her stained boots on when she came home from trekking downtown. She sat down next to her boots and flicked a lighter, watching the flame dance.  She thought of her mother with a furrowed brow and a professional skill to ignore her father when he shouted inside the house about this and that. She missed her brother who ran away from home when they were children, who always had her back when their father would lash out back then. Dixie always wondered, and secretly hoped, that they were out there together somewhere.  Right as Dixie lit up an old roach that she had found in the dirty pockets of her overalls, her lungs burned from the deep inhale as her father came out the door. “Dixie,” “Yes, Walter,” The smoke trailed through her words. “What the hell‘re you doing?” He stepped over to her and looked at the spot next to her on the step. She responded in a single nod and scooted away from him to let him sit. “Drugs,” Dixie offered the cherry towards him and he scoffed. 

[mxdarling]

[Cold to them, sweet to others (2)]

•❅───✧❅✦❅✧───❅• •❅───✧❅✦❅✧───❅•

ೃ⁀➷: summary: Yan. idia, & malleus with a darling that’s cold towards them but sweet to others + knows about their obsession towards them.

ೃ⁀➷: Word count: 953

ೃ⁀➷: Reference/Inspiration: N/A

[|.]

[note:] If there is anything else triggering here that I didn’t list in the warnings section, please tell me. I don’t condone this type of behavior, this is merely just for entertaining purposes and some sort of coping mechanism for me. If you continue to read beyond this point, ignoring my warnings, I am not responsible for your actions from here on out.

[Warnings:] monopolizing behavior, spoilers for malleus' & idia's backstory, yandere behavior, possessive behavior, isolating, stalking, taking pictures and videos w/o consent, being watched by a camera w/o, kidnapping.

[GN reader]

♡˗ˏ✎*ೃ˚ :Malleus Draconia;

➮ MALLEUS DRACONIA is in one word heartbroken by your behavior towards him. Malleus has spent most of his years being isolated from people, due to them either being scared of him for being the most powerful mages or having a huge hatred for him (cough Leona cough). Even though he doesn't mind being alone, away from other people, it's not the same as when he is with you. Malleus considers you his most treasured friend (or lover? I don't think he knows the difference between platonic and romantic love) and the fact that you out of all people is being cold to him is just hurting him in every way possible. He really treasures you, truly and hates that he's the reason you're pushing yourself away from him. I mean the only thing he wants for you is to be happy. So please tell him what's he doing wrong so he can fix it right away. He's so lonely without you. He needs you.

➮ I think it might take him a while to really observe the fact that you're much more kinder to others than when you're with him. Probably either Sebek or Lilia would most likely inform him about this, possibly even Silver if he isn't sleeping that is. I can see him slowly but surely turn possessive over you. It won't be obvious at first but he'll slowly turn everyone away all by just sticking around you whenever someone wants to talk to you. At first, all he wanted was to spend some time with you but after hearing from the others that you're acting this affectionate with other people makes him wanna keep you all to himself. Little by little people will start to avoid completely just because of Malleus' demeanor. Maybe having people avoid him is a good thing after all. Now all you have is him to keep you company, isn't that just lovely?

➮ I don't think he'd really mind that you know about his love (obsession) for you, in fact I think he's very much happy that you know how much he loves you! He loves you so so much, it hurts. It hurts him to see you being happy with other people and being so emotionless and cold when you're with him. He's trying so hard just so you'll stay with him. He desperately wants a friend, so he'll do almost everything to befriend you even if possibly you'll never reciprocate. Please just give him a chance. He's been so lonely for so many years. All he wants is just company, even if it's just one. Even if it's just you. He'd be satisfied.

♡˗ˏ✎*ೃ˚ :Idia Shroud;

➮ IDIA SHROUD probably thinks you hate him now! He must have done something wrong for you to act such a way, right!? Did he say something to offend you? Did he did something to make you mad at him? or maybe... Maybe, you noticed the camera he placed in your bedroom so he can watch you sleep during the night..? Whatever the reason is, he's devasted. He's pacing around his room, trying to find a way to make you not hate him. Ortho definitely notices his brother acting weird cause he's behaving very anxious in his own room! A place where his older brother usually is very calm and relaxed. So out of curiosity and concern for his brother he checks up on Idia and knowing Ortho he'll worry about him until he tells him what's wrong so he spills him the beans and like the good brother he is, he ultimately tries to help his brother with this little problem of his. He couldn't be more grateful with the extra help.

➮ It's probably the same thing with Malleus. It will take a while for him to actually noticed how sweet you are towards other people since he rarely never goes out of his own room. Even if he uses his tablet device, he barely pays attention to other people that aren't you specifically. I think if he asks ortho to secretly (stalk) follow you around the campus is when he'll finally know how you act around others, cause he'd ask ortho to tell him everything that happened down to the smallest details of how your day went. When Ortho explains your interactions with other people he begins to realize how happy you sound talking to other people, why didn't that happened with him? Why was it that whenever he is mention the cheerful aura you have suddenly goes away? Was there really something wrong with him? Insecurity easily overpowers as he stays up at night thinking if there's really something wrong with him despite the reassurance from Ortho, it's not enough to calm him down. He's certain there's something wrong with him. That's why you don't love him yet! But don't worry, he'll change, he'll changed himself for you.

➮ He's so embarrasses that you know his love for you, its almost kind of cute. If you ignore how he would tell Ortho to stalk you and watched you in your dorms from his cameras every second. He says he does it with love but it's so creepy... Constantly feeling eyes on you, even when alone you still feel like you're being watched. You're so sick of it! Doesn't matter how much you try to avoid his yellow gaze, he'll find a way to keep eyes on you. Maybe.. It's a good time to take you to his room. Don't worry he's spend much time in researching what you like and dislike to make you feel comfortable confine in his room. Please don't make it harder on yourself by struggling to get away. All you need is him and Ortho, nothing else.

•❅───✧❅✦❅✧───❅• •❅───✧❅✦❅✧───❅•

[a/n; Ahaha yea I'm been dead, hello again people!! Sorry been so away I just couldn't find any motivation to write until now but it will most likely go away at some point but I will finish your requests. I'll drag it to 2023 if needed to finish it. I've also been kind of out of it with the twst fandom, I'm still part of it but it's not my hyper fixation right now, but I've been getting into ensemble stars lately so there might be more content for them soon. Most of you guys probably don't remember me now but that's okay. That aside, thank you for requesting this! I haven't gotten a request where it's the repeated scenario before. This is also my first time writing for malleus!! I hope I did a good job portraying him as a yandere!! After I post this I'm gonna be dead for another month so enjoy this content while its still new lol]

[wrenaspun]

Omg first every fic you’ve posted for capri has been a blessing to the fandom! Your prose is so gorgeous and evocative and the way you describe these characters feels so fresh, beautiful, thoughtful, nuanced, and super sexy too~ You’re like THE platonic ideal for a fic writer. In a very low pressure way, i was curious about the third chapter for “the full length of my soul”? I reread the first two chapters all the time and the pining is so *FIST CLENCH* I’m on tenterhooks for the grand conclusion but I also hope you’re doing well and taking all the time you need to write! Thank you so much for sharing your writing. It’s so magical experiencing it!!!

AW anon thank you that's very kind of you to say!!! My face looks like this rn: 🥹

And regarding full length of the soul, the fic of my heart, I promise the third chapter is coming... it only emerges slowly but it IS emerging! Honestly so much love and many kisses to anyone still sticking around for it 🙏 In the meantime n as a token of my good faith please accept this snippet:

“He wants a divorce,” said Damen. Nikandros stilled for a moment, and his jaw twitched. “Would it be,” and Damen knew what he was going to say, turned away from it, heard it anyway, “such a bad thing?” “Yes,” Damen snarled, and nearly sliced his own toes off stomping away. It was ridiculous to be thinking of divorce. They’d put so much work into this unification — and it had worked, was the thing, the New Artesian Empire was alive and well, and it was only the fact of their marriage which had allowed for that arduous transformation from ideal to reality. And it was still their marriage which held everything together. The uneasy truce between Akielon kyroi and Veretian lords, the peace in Delpha, the increasing interconnectedness of Artesian trade routes and traditions and laws — and, a smaller part of Damen was saying, they were married, and had been married for years, and that should have meant something to Laurent even beyond its importance as a symbol of unification. He hadn’t known he felt that way. Because there was nobody in the corridor, Damen set his shoulder to the stone wall and let himself take a deep breath. It was ridiculous to be thinking of divorce. Laurent had all but admitted it was an emotional impulse, a personal decision, made because — why? Because Damen didn’t remember a few months from several years ago? It felt, perhaps unreasonably, like being punished for something out of his control completely, for whatever he’d done in the past. But that wasn’t quite right, really. If he was being punished, it was for a current, ongoing failure. Damen rubbed his forehead savagely. He wasn’t being punished. This wasn’t — it was Laurent’s business, his whims. The idea rang false even in his own mind. He couldn’t quite convince himself — He turned away from that avenue of thinking. But then, in that moment of vulnerable emptiness, the next thought came unwelcomed — didn’t Laurent have the right to seek some personal happiness? So their marriage had never been an ugly struggle; that was not precisely the summit of happiness. There must be some other arrangement which would better fulfill his needs. Some other person.

[girlvinland]

I have so many emotions every day. I’ll have moments when I’m content or even feeling joyful, but then a huge wave of guilt or sadness or resentment will wash over me. I know it’s normal, so I have to just let it happen and let it go.

Yesterday I was listening to an older woman talk about how she didn’t start understanding her sexuality until she was 56, and that from there it took another 8-10 years of working on being okay with it bc of the things she’d done in life (marriage, kids, and all that), and bc of her own internalized homophobia. I felt like I related so much, even though I’m not as old as her, even though I haven’t chosen to do those things, and even though we’ve had different journeys (she said she’d never questioned her sexuality before then, which is a hard thing for me to understand, but I know it’s different for older generations).

I had things I always knew about in myself as a teenager and even as a child, but then something would always push me back from being okay with it. I think I was 23-25 when I finally started slowly putting my toes in the water more, even though the thing that persisted in my mind was always “no, you can’t do this. What would your parents think? Dad wants a son-in-law he can do things with. Mom wants a grandchild that she is related to. They want this one life for you that they envisioned, so just stick with the program until someday you can be free from their expectations.” And it’s really sad that someday would always = when my parents are no longer here. With that knowledge, how long would this need to be endured? It’s sad that so many other people have felt like this, too.

My guilt doesn’t all stem from that, though. I had been in a relationship with someone for so long, to the point of becoming engaged because we felt so much pressure to do it, and bc it felt safe. Plus, the idea of a wedding is often so fun and exciting, it’s hard to not get all wrapped up in that. I’m lucky that this person has always treated me with so much kindness and respect, I don’t know if I could have learned to accept myself so much otherwise, because they encouraged my self-exploration so much, and never with any judgment. So when I’ve taken these dips into the water, I’ve had to consider how badly it must still hurt them, how badly it must have hurt to have been on the other side of this. The only consolation is knowing that we both made the decision to stay due to comfort/stagnation/safety/etc. And now, we both want the best for one another. It is a weird journey, but maybe it’s not that abnormal, either. It helps when there are mutual understandings and few hard feelings.

I used to imagine life as a really big peak to climb, like you’d just keep making decisions to go up and up and up. Graduate high school. Go to college. Find someone. Get a job. Get married. Have kids. Stay at your job. See kids have kids. Retire. Die.

I’ve realized it’s not like that at all, that it’s not one big peak, but rather a series of hills, and I see it in myself and in my family and friends- we all make choices, but the choices can always change. Nothing is permanent, no rule book has to be followed (bc no rule book actually exists). You can change your mind at any time. Even if it hurts, even if it hurts other people. Of course, I think trying to diminish the hurt is usually a very good thing to do, even if it can’t always be done.

But I am so tired of this whole life skeleton that seems to be so set in place for everyone to adhere to. And I couldn’t keep using the sunk-cost fallacy to justify my decisions like, well, I’ve been doing this for this long, so I can’t turn around now. I could always turn around, I always can. Everyone can. I’ve watched my mom change her career completely in her 40s-50s. I’ve seen friends get divorced in their late twenties after realizing marriage or the person they were with wasn’t right for them, but they hadn’t had the knowledge to know that before. I’ve seen people like the woman I mentioned earlier, who discovered more about their identities later than expected.

Each day I become more accepting of the idea that change is possible and even expected, and I feel more and more okay with throwing the weird life rule book into the water. I was losing myself so much by trying to stick to it, but now I know I don’t have to do that any longer. I’ve had a lot lately going on outside of all of this, but the moments I can reflect on it get easier each time. My self-acceptance grows stronger each time. It’s still extremely hard some days, but I don’t fear it so much anymore.

[kelpan]

First chapter!!! Wooo!!

Though an OC is the "main" character, and the POV that many of the chapters will be told from, this story is really designed to share the spotlight as a trio, between them, Sun, and Moon. There will be plenty of glimpses into everyone's minds, so I hope you stick around to enjoy them!

Thanks for giving my story a chance!

Credit for the OC headshot pictured here goes to wwispie on Etsy/Instagram!

A03 Link- Petals on a Stream of Stars

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Act 1, Chapter 2-No Turning Back

~Two Years Later ~

Tuesday 

06:30 AM

Come on… come on! What the heck are you waiting for?

This was ridiculous. Her own, stupid, pathetic fear, that turned her belly into knots, just had to rear its stupid head at the worst of times, leaving her standing like an idiot, hand-raised before the office door of the head of security. But what was she to do? Turn tail and head home? No. Beyond this door waited her very last interview. She had to—no, needed to get this done. It was one thing if she failed; it was another if she failed without having fully tried. 

All I have to do is knock. Simple! Easy! No big deal! So just… do it!

With glorious timing, an irate, feminine voice shot out from beyond the door, halting whatever she was about to do next.

“Tell me, are you going to stand there outside my door like some damn salesman, or are you going to come in already?”

Her adrenaline skyrocketed. Chrys’s hand shot to the door, brain scrambling, struggling to grab the doorknob with fingers that would not cooperate. Once the elusive metal ball sat secure within her grasp, and after a single, deep breath, she twisted the knob and let herself in, hoping she didn’t look as flustered as she felt.

No going back now.

The inside was filled with all the standard office furnishings—in what little space the room allowed—, forcing her to step awkwardly about in order to shut the door behind her. A dusty bookshelf overflowing with binders stood against the wall to her right. An L-shaped desk sat shoved into the furthermost corner. Other than the desktop computer monitor sitting atop the desk, no additional bit of color or personality, or even light existed to brighten the room. No tacky wall art, no mementos. Nothing. The place was as drab as it was practical. A sour scent in the air made her nose wrinkle.

Behind the desk sat who must have spoken, a young, light-skinned blonde woman with stern, sharp shoulders, her jutting collarbone cutting a crisp line through her white-button down shirt. Her hair was held up and out of her face in a loose ponytail, an odd contrast compared to the rest of her corporate-pressed attire. Her face emanated an unnatural shallowness, both sickly and unpleasant, contributing to the dense atmosphere. For someone who’d been invited, it sure didn’t feel as if Chrys was welcome. She swallowed with a dry mouth.

“Sit down.” The woman said, stern and direct. “I don’t appreciate lurkers. It’s aggravating.” She remained glued to the computer screen, typing away. “What’s your name?”

Wanting to recover whatever positive favor she could, Chrys hurried to sit down in the metal folding chair set on the outside of the desk, and attempted to slide her backpack from her shoulder to the ground with as little fanfare as possible. “It’s ah, Chrysanthemum. Chrysanthemum Aster.”

A tense silence followed, filled only with the continual sounds of the woman’s keyboard clacking away. Chrys chewed at her lip. Should she say something? The silence was exacerbating her nerves. She looked about, seeking anything of interest to spark a conversation with, and spied a small picture frame tucked almost out of sight on the opposite side of the monitor. Such a tiny, intimate thing, out of place in this sterile room. In it looked to be an old playbill.

“What, uh… what show is that?”

“What?” The woman grumbled.

“The uh, the playbill there. It kind of looks like a ballet.”

Without any sign that she’d been heard, Chrys sank into her chair. She shouldn’t have even bothered to speak up. Retreating to the safety of silence, she kept her gaze downcast. 

“It’s Swan Lake,” the woman replied.

Chrys perked. “Oh, yeah? How funny, that one’s actually my favorite!” A small smile peeked through. It wasn’t often she found a fellow fan of dance out in the wild.

The silence returned, albeit lighter, the constant typing instead replaced by the inconsistent clicks of a printer starting up somewhere out of sight. The woman leaned away from her, towards the floor, to catch the supposed incoming papers. Amidst the mechanical din, Chrys thought she heard the woman mutter—“Was my wife’s favorite, too.”

Before she could comment, the woman returned upright, papers in hand, and cleared her throat to indicate they were about to begin. 

“Alright, let’s see what you have to offer.” She pulled out a single sheet from the stack, and began to read aloud. “Education, a bachelors degree for the performing arts. How creative. Certifications, first aid and CPR. Useful, though better if they weren’t set to expire soon. Previous work experience… ah-ha. There it is.”

Chrys picked at the skin around her nails. This was the moment. The moment in every interview where things always started to go south. 

“Says here you graduated well over two years ago. And you’ve had not a lick of work experience to your name since then. That’s a bit… egregious, don’t you think? Or, are you lying to me? Because you cannot expect me to believe you’ve actually managed to survive without some form of inco—”

The woman's voice cut off with a gasp the moment their eyes made contact, the first time since she’d walked in. Chrys stiffened. What did she do? She waited a few seconds, and when there was no clue as to what in the heck was happening here, reached a hesitant hand across the desk, giving the woman’s shirt sleeve a light tap. 

“Hey, are you alright? Miss…?”

As soon as her fingers touched the fabric of her shirt, the woman jolted to life, shocked, her eyes slow to regain focus.

“I, yes, I’m… I’m…” She struggled for words, her hands clenching over open air. “I… forgive me. I don’t know what’s come over me.” She cleared her throat, and adjusted her collar. “Ahem. Let’s, uh, try this again, shall we? The name is Vanessa, head security officer. I’ll be in charge of your interview and subsequent hiring process. Thank you for responding to our help wanted ad. Uh, why don’t you start by filling me in on how you’ve spent your time since graduation?”

“Are… are you sure you’re alright?” Chrys questioned, looking her over. She hadn’t realized skin could turn that white. “You kinda look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

A shadow fell over Vanessa’s eyes, and her shoulders relaxed. Her voice fell to just above a whisper, picking up towards the end. “Perhaps I have. But I assure you, I’m fine. Just one too many, ah… late nights.”

Chrys fiddled with the sleeve of her grey oversized hoodie. “Okay. If you say so. But just so you know, I can always step out or come back on a different day, if you need a minute. I don’t mind.”

Vanessa smiled. “How sweet. But no, that won’t be necessary. Why don’t we get back to you?”

Guess there was no getting around it. Chrys braced herself before diving in. “Well, I… there was… a lot I was dealing with. I needed time to recover. Getting a job wasn’t really a top priority at the time, so I just… didn’t. I can’t really explain it any better than that.”

“Oh? How so?”

Chrys rummaged through her brain for any other safe explanations, but nothing came readily to mind. She averted her eyes, and squeezed the crook of her elbow. “I’d… rather not say. Things are better now, though. Promise.”

She stared at the grains of the desk, piercing the wood with her eyes. The more she was forced to explain, the worse this would look. At worst she’d be a liar; At best, sickly or incapable. What great options.  

“I see.” Vanessa replied.

“I…” Chrys looked up, confusion in her eyes. She’d expected more pushback.

“What, rabbit got your tongue?” Vanessa said with a slight smirk, waggling her eyebrow at her, and swiveled in her office chair, picking up a clipboard from behind along with a pen, and gave it a few test clicks. “Let’s move on, shall we? Next on the list is the personality test. It’s a form we at Fazbear Entertainment use to determine the best fitting role for everyone who might join our little family.”

Chrys cut in. “Oh, is that why the ad is listed just for general staff? I wondered why it wasn’t more specific.”

Vanessa nodded. “Indeed. Now, question number one: What do you think of children?”

Finally, an easy question.

“Oh, I love them. I grew up helping my mother while she worked as a nanny, so being around kids is second nature.”

“Is it now?” Vanessa wrote on the clipboard. “Interesting. Question number two: Do you have reliable transportation?”

“I mean, the bus is on a schedule. That’s reliable, right?”

Vanessa shrugged. “Reliable enough, I suppose. What about driving? Do you know how?”

“I do, but… I don’t have a license.”

That earned her a side-cock and a skeptical look from Vanessa. “Truly? Do you not drive to go out? The bus route in this town is not all that expansive. What about when you want to go to a bar, or meet up with friends?”

Chrys eyed the ground, picking at her fingers again. “Not my thing.”

“Hmm.” Vanessa gave no inclination to her thoughts as she continued to scribble notes down. “I see. Guess that’s a no to operating machinery then. Now, onto the last question: How are your family relations?”

Chrys tensed.

“Odd uh, question. Why do you ask?”

“Well,” Vanessa clicked her tongue against her teeth, pressing the end of the pen to her mouth. “It’s all relative, you see. We need to know what social weights might hold our employees down, and what outside support they may or may not have to assist them in hard times. They are an integral part as to what makes life worth living, after all. So please, answer the question as honestly as possible.”

Chrys could feel her face grow hot. She was NOT talking about her family life right now. No. No way. Chrys mentally groaned. She was going to have to though, wasn’t she? She couldn’t afford to be labeled as “uncooperative”, not when she’d gotten this far. She grit her teeth and forced the words out. 

“Non-existent.”

“Oh?” Vanessa said, intrigued. “Why is that? Did something happen to them?”

“I’m sorry.” Chrys sucked in a breath. “I’m not comfortable answering that.”

She braced herself.

“Fair enough.” 

What?

All the metaphorical air left her lungs. For the second time in less than ten minutes, Chrys could only stare at Vanessa, astonished. Was this some kind of trick? 

“What about any romantic relations?”

Of course. 

Locking eyes, Chrys gave Vanessa a pointed stare, communicating her opinion to the additional question. Vanessa’s nonplussed expression stayed in place, daring her not to comply.

“No.” Chrys said through tight lips.

“No, what?” 

“No. No romantic relations at this time.”

“Thank you.”

The sound of Vanessa's pen hitting the desk surface broke the tension, signaling an end to both the questioning, and the interview. Chrys watched as Vanessa turned behind, tucking the clipboard away and out of sight, and for a brief second, thought she saw a bright flash of neon violet fill her eyes, gone just as quickly back to their normal shade of light green. 

“Thank you for your cooperation, Chrysanthemum. Rest assured that Fazbear Entertainment takes the privacy of its employee’s seriously, so the information gathered here shall be used nowhere but in this building. However, I can say I am glad we had this time together. I have a much better understanding of where best to possibly place you. Here, grab these papers—you can fill them out later—and come with me. I will escort you to your new department.”

“Hold on—department? Wait. Are you actually hiring me?”

Vanessa smiled, stretching the skin of her cheeks taught. “You still have to survive through the standard probationary period first, but… yes. Welcome to the Mega Pizzaplex, my dear. Congratulations.”

Holy heck. I did it. I did it!

Her excitement bubbled up in the form of a full-faced grin. “Wow. Okay. Uh, thank you! Yes, thank you! I’ll give it my all!”

“Oh, I have little fear of that.” Vanessa said as she stood and squeezed around the desk, walking on ahead to hold the door open for her while Chrys gathered her things. 

“You’re practically perfect.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Funny enough, the first draft of this story started with Chrys being a Y/N, but the more I outlined the plot, the more I realized I needed to create a character with a specific personality and background in order to make it all work, and a new OC was born 😅. Funny how creativity works sometimes!

[peachypede]

✈️ 💔🍸 for Pecha andddd 💯🐉 🎮 for Aman?

Ask meme is here!

✈️ AIRPLANE — does your oc like traveling, or do they consider themselves a more homey person?

Traveling is very nostalgic for Pecha. Most of her childhood consisted of going on research trips with her dad and camping out in the wilderness to study bugs. Name a forest in any region and she’s probably been there. In her recent years she’s become more of a homebody, but she still very much enjoys traveling when the opportunity comes up.

Plus she didn’t get to go to many cities during her travels with her dad, so she loves being able to check out shops.

💔 BROKEN HEART — what are three of your oc's negative traits?

Anxious - Pecha has an anxiety disorder. She worries about almost anything and everything, especislly social interactions.

Obsessive - Her adhd brings hyper-fixation, which sometimes centers around people. With how romantic minded she is, it can become accidentally overbearing.

Pessimistic - Pecha fears about the worst case scenarios that she often perceives them to be the only scenario that can happen. Someone gave her a funny look? They probably hate her, she must have done something to upset them, etc.

🍸 COCKTAIL GLASS — what is your oc's favorite alcoholic drink, if they can drink?

Since her anxiety gives her IBS, she tries to keep her drinks mild. Beer, red/white wine, whiskey, vodka, and gin tend to be low-FODMAP (aka the carbohydrates in alchohol that can trigger digestive symptoms) so she tends to stick with them. She’s also a lightweight so…she tries to limit things to one drink only.

Gin and tonic is her go to drink usually at bars, despite being teased occasionally that it’s an old man drink. It’s really the best thing for her stomach. Since beer is usually the casual party drink, it’s easier for her to fit in there. Rarely does she go for anything stronger though.

💯 HUNDRED POINTS SYMBOL — share three random facts about your oc that others may not know.

- Aman was the son of a crime lord in Sinnoh before the accident that left left him orphaned and without his right limbs. If that accident hadnt happened, Aman probably would have grown up in a gang. (And this is why he was sent out of country to be adopted in order to make sure he was safe from rival gang members)

- The carefree attitude he has is really a front. He harbors a lot of anger inside that he releases during his job. He hates people he loves seeing that part of himself.

- He actually wants to have a family someday. He’s a sentimental guy deep down and there’s nothing that tugs his heart strings more than thinking of settling down someday with someone and having kids.

🐉 DRAGON — what is your oc's favorite mythical creature?

Since this is the pokemon world, I’m guessing this applies to mythical/legendary pokemon.

Aman’s favorite is Arceus but also that’s funny because he’s religious so he’s basically saying “God is my favorite”.

After Arceus, it’s probably Azelf. Aman just felt like he had a personal connect with it when he was a child.

🎮 VIDEO GAME CONTROLLER — what are three of your oc's favorite hobbies?

- Reading is a big favorite, especially classics. Also just reading anything absurd or crazy. He finds weird books funny. (Badly written romance novels are good)

- Painting/drawing. He was raised by artists and they would consider it a tragedy if Aman didnt know how to paint and draw as well. He’s not good at drawing humans or pokemon, so he sticks with plants and humans objects.

- Hanging out with people that aren’t related to his assignments. It’s nice to not have to worry about every single thing he’s saying. (Although he keeps the whole being an Interpol Agent thing quiet still of course)